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apollos-son · 4 years ago

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✎ ❝Won't You Stay By My Side?❞

Rating ; 13+

Pairing ; eventual poly ot8 ateez

Genre ; fluff, slight angst?

Tags ; painter Yeosang au, old au, nothing but sweet romance, poly ot8

Summery ; Kang Yeosang is a painter from the big city who recently moved away to a little port town very far away from any place he knew. With a determination to paint the scenic views, Yeosang hastily tries to settle in but finds that he can't get much work done because there happens to be some... distractions around the little town that seem to grab his attention in ways that other things couldn't.

Note : There are tags that might be added later on, and in specific chapters there may be trigger warnings, however if there does happen to be anything triggering in chapters that I have mistakenly not labeled with a trigger warning - please let me know so I can add a warning in, the last thing I want is to trigger somebody.

Also: something I should point out is that this fic will be tackling things such as homophobia and sexism purely because of the time-zone it's set in, so if you don't want to read about that then please don't read this. It won't be overbearingly obnoxious but it will be mentioned continuously throughout because it's a big part of the story.

I know this is unlikely but I do ask that you do not copy my work under any circumstances. Do not repost, translate or use my work without permission. Thanks :)

<- previous chapter • next chapter ->

chapter 1 ⇢ ❝I Can't Tear My Eyes Away.❞

The sun had recently risen, shining over the industrial buildings and bathing them with its warm light. As soon as that yellow luminescent glow flooded through the curtains of his apartment, Yeosang's eyes fluttered open slowly. The young painter pushed his body up with his palms until he was sat up completely. He rubbed his eyes gently with the sides of his index fingers and yawned quietly.

His small hands gripped the plush duvet carefully as he shifted his body to get out of bed. The loose button-up that hung onto his body covered most of his hands, right up to the knuckles. It was sheer, translucent even, and his soft, tanned skin could be seen from underneath. Not that anybody would be looking, of course, he lived alone. He had been living in the city ever since he was small. His bare feet thumped gently across the floorboards as he tiredly made his way to the small kitchen. His eyes were barely open, but when they had drifted to look at the old calendar that was fixed to the wall he grunted, and then when they gazed at the clock ticking away on the other wall next to his window they widened comically.

"shit! I'm late!" he cursed as he quickly slipped back into the bedroom to change.

Kang Yeosang wasn't somebody who considered himself anything more than "average" person. He was alright-looking, nothing special about his personality or anything like that. It had been his dream to paint beautiful scenes since he was a child, and yet the industrialism that overtook the entire city didn't seem to have any good spots for painting. Thick smog and old, dirty bricked buildings weren't really his taste. And that's exactly why when his uncle had made the offer of giving Yeosang his old home in a port town away from the city; there was no way he could refuse.

He was supposed to take a taxi ride all the way out there, but he must've gotten caught up with quitting his old job, because he hadn't even packed yet! In a quick flurry, he grabbed his clothes and threw them onto the bed. Thoughts of folding them and staying tidy immediately went away after he glanced back at the clock in the kitchen. Two leather brown cases that had golden clasps on the front were filled with clothes, the little self-care products he owned and his art supplies. Yeosang quickly hopped to the door, luggage in hand, before realizing... "aishh, I'm not even dressed!" he gasped, looking down at that flowy sheer shirt and shorts.

This was going to be a long day.

Far, far away from the bustling cities and the hassle of factory work, a quiet little port town hid. It was quite the overgrown place, seeming to look abandoned and yet was still full of life. It was a town of peace and tranquility, where everyone knew everyone. Clearbrook Port was one of the lesser known ports on the map. It didn't have those busy markets with exotic products from all around nor did it have any 'one of a kind' services. It attracted sailors not for its popularity, but for its quietness and its friendliness. A place of harmony; that's why it attracted Yeosang so much.

He recalls his uncle describing it as so different from the city he grew up in that it may take him a while to adjust, which was the only part of this experience that really worried Yeosang. He was typically a very shy person and also particularly quiet. He never really got on with any of his coworkers because of it, but he never really let that bother him.

He had been in the taxi for roughly an hour now (after having apologized at least twenty times for being late) and he was still staring longingly out the window. The smaller of the two brown cases he has brought was sat face up on his lap with his hands delicately laid over the top of it. The other case rested in the footwell of the seat next to him. The taxi itself seemed old, as it's colour wasn't a vibrant yellow, but rather a faded one. Despite the car's old appearance, the driver seemed to be quite young yet not chatty. Which was great for Yeosang, because he could just calmly stare out of the window. They had passed the threshold of where industrialism met nature a little while ago, he thought, so now he was merely gazing at old paths that had pretty flowers adorning the boarder. It was clear to him that these paths were still designed for horses and carriages because of how bumpy it had been.

Cars were a recent addition to society, so he assumed that this distant port town wouldn't have any use for them because it was small, right?

His train of thought was interrupted as the vehicle suddenly stopped. Yeosang's eyes flashed towards the driver and then back out of the window. Oh! They had arrived! He was so deep in his thoughts that he must've lost track of time. "ah! Thank you very much, sir," Yeosang thanked the man politely and gave him the money his uncle had provided him for the car ride.

He had just stepped out of the car and already there were people ready to greet him. A few older people, it seemed. Not that he was in a position to judge of course, he was here for the scenery of the town, not to belittle its residents. He glanced at each person briefly, a couple of sweet women with even sweeter smiles on their faces, an older man who seemed to be dressed in a much different manner to the rest of the people, it was.. richer almost? He didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the townspeople, or the whole vibe that the town gave off.

Yeosang may have had his eyes on the man longer than the others, but when his eyes drifted to the boy standing next to him, he let out a small gasp before covering his mouth. A short male, wearing similar clothing to the man he stood next to; it was far too posh. Yeosang could feel his cheeks flaring up just by how gorgeous the boy was. He wore a silk shirt that just so happened to have the top button loose, a pair of tweed trousers and a jacket that looked too big for him that protected him from the slight cold breeze that was drifting from the ocean's direction.

The boy smiled at him politely, his soft brown hair dancing in the gentle breeze. Oh, gosh, that smile. What a beautiful one it was. The way his eyes crinkled up just a little bit made Yeosang's heart flutter. "welcome, sir! I hope you had a safe journey!~" The boy chirped, his voice relatively average in pitch. He stepped forward and held his tiny hands out to hold one of Yeosang's, which caused the other male to press his lips together into a thin line. "My name is Kim Hongjoong, it's a pleasure to have you here in our little town, mister...?" he tilted his head a small amount, waiting for an answer. "Mister K-Kang Yeosang, sir!" The flustered male replied.

At Yeosang's shy tone, Hongjoong's bright smile only seemed to widen "Yeosang.." he hummed quietly, his hands squeezing Yeosang's jittery one. "What a pretty name," he complimented. The man that Hongjoong had once been stood next to cleared his throat obnoxiously to grab the younger man's attention. "Hongjoong, my son, you have other things to be getting up to rather than shamelessly complimenting our new resident, yes?" The man, now identified as Hongjoong's father, said with expectancy. The young man's smile dropped almost instantly and his hands immediately let go of Yeosang's hand. "You're right, father, my apologies," he hummed. "Well, Yeosang, I hope you settle in alright," he said kindly before turning around to leave.

Yeosang looked down at his hand slowly, blinking and replaying the scenario that just happened back in his head. He cupped his own cheek in an attempt to hide the redness that was displayed there. "Welcome, Mister Kang," Hongjoong's father spoke. Yeosang flashed the man an awkward smile. "We were actually expecting you earlier than this and unfortunately there are few people available to show you around, but I can trust that you'll eventually find your way, yes?"

It turns out that Yeosang couldn't find his way after all. He had stumbled around the town for an hour now at least. It was a pretty little town with cottages dotted around the area. None of them were too close to each other and none of them were too far. It was gave off a very home-like feel. The scenery was cause him to become very enraptured, it was quite new to him. There were a lot more plants and greenery than there were in the city. A lot of the buildings were made from stone and wood, too, which contrasted to the cities firm brick apartments. The stone itself looked to be quite worn down, especially the walls and some of the archways that lead out of the town and toward the open fields that resided behind. He was definitely going to go out there when he had the chance.

He had reached the far end of the port by this point, and his eyes were set on the cottage that was nestled right in the corner. That was the one, he thought. His uncle had told him that it was the most pretty one, and now that Yeosang's eyes had settled on it, he could easily agree. It was one of the medium sized homes, it wasn't small yet it wasn't excessively large. None of the homes seemed to be very large apart from the one that sat at the top of the hill near the town's entrance. The house was compiled of stone bricks, none of which were the same size and some of then were remarkably bigger than the others. Wooden boards seemed to frame the house in almost a perfect way. The roof had shingles that lead right from the roof's peak down to where it met the stone of the building.

Thin curtains of vines seemed to cover the front of the building, and plants were growing uncontrollably around it. Next to the cosy cottage, a small waterfall flowed into a pond that was surrounded by a few stones and moss.

"excuse me, sir?" a sweet yet deep voice came from the town's west exit. "oh yes? Can I help yo-" Yeosang turned around and his eyes widened softly at the sight before him. Another young male who was quite tall and very handsome. "Heh, my name's Song Mingi and I remembered that we were having someone new move in so I was just wondering if you needed any help at all? I've finished my shift at the general store so I'd be happy to help," Mingi offered, his brown eyes sparkling kindly.

Yeosang blinked a few times before sending the boy a shy smile "A-Ah, would you mind? I didn't bring a lot with me but.." he began "two is company, right?" Mingi offered, his fluffy red hair bouncing as he stepped closer. "R-Right, two is company," Yeosang repeated in a quieter tone.

"So you're a painter?" Mingi asked delicately as he watched Yeosang take a wooden easel from the bigger of the two suitcases he had brought with him. Yeosang gave him a quick nod "yes, I've always loved to paint. I used to work as an office worker and I would paint scenes and portraits for people on the side, that's part of the reason why I moved here," he explained to the taller male lightly as he set the easel down in the corner of his new bedroom and turned to his smaller suitcase that held all of his screwed up clothes ("did you pack at the last minute or are you just messy?" Mingi had asked him in a playful tone,) and he took the articles of clothing out, folding them neatly.

"You moved here to paint for someone?" The taller man inquired curiously and Yeosang shook his head "well, not exactly. I wanted to paint some scenes somewhere that wasn't.. In a bustling city. So my uncle offered me this home out here. It's far more scenic.,"

They stayed silent for a moment and Mingi watched as Yeosang sorted his clothing and his other items and smiled warmly. "Well, I think that we're lucky to have you here, if I may be so bold, you are very pretty," he said confidently. The compliment had Yeosang's ears turn red almost instantly. "Do you th-think so, Mister Song?" The stuttered comment caused Mingi to laugh just a little bit. "I do think so, Mister Kang," he replied playfully.

After Yeosang had unpacked his belongings, Mingi had offered to take him out for a walk to show him around, which he had graciously accepted. The two walked side-by-side as the afternoon sun shone upon them. Mingi took the time to properly show Yeosang the prettiest parts of the town. The harbor seemed to be newer than the rest of the town, which made the painter wonder if it was a new addition or if it had been destroyed or damaged prior to his arrival. At the docks, a young man who looked small but appeared to be quite muscular caught the young painter's eye. He was carrying a heavy looking barrel by himself. "Yah! Jongho-ah!" Mingi called "be careful! I wouldn't want you to get hurt, you hear?" he scolds the seemingly younger male. The male in question turned to look at Mingi, a cute smile coming over his face "Thanks for your concern, Mingi-hyung, but I'm fine, I promise!"

The tall male quickly became distracted by Jongho and started talking to the younger boy, distracting him from his job. A voice had come from the opposite direction "Mister Kang?" that familiar voice rang. It was the elder man, Hongjoong's father. "ah, I'm glad to find you out here again, have you settled in okay?" The man asked, but he didn't give Yeosang a chance to reply before continuing "I heard from someone that you are a renowned painter, yes?"

"renowned? I.. I don't know about that, sir! I do paint yes.. b-but-" the young male was cut off immediately "perfect! I need somebody to craft a wedding portrait of my son," the man announced. Shocked, the young painter stared at the elder male for a moment. He hadn't been commissioned by anybody in a while, and to make a portrait no less? "w-well... I could.. b-but.." he tried to speak up again, only to be cut off short "wonderful! Please come by to my manor tomorrow,"

As the elder man strode away, Yeosang sighed to himself. If he remembers correctly, that man's son is Hongjoong.. and he isn't sure if he was confident enough to talk to the male properly let alone paint him.

Out of all of the things he was expecting out of this little town, he certainly wasn't expecting that.

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Lil taglist; @ningnings-plushies @catboy-dia @btsheadquarters7 @anon-giggles

#Aaron-james writes #First chapter~#V exciting #ateez #poly ot8 #Kim Hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho

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chuuyrr · 5 years ago

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❀ headcannons for gon, killua, hisoka, illumi and chrollo with a clumsy s/o that gets flustered easily ❀

Note: thank you for requesting ! sorry it took so long HUHUHU enjoy xx

(writing this kind of tired me out not gonna lie! five characters ! :0 and it was a challenge for me. i’ll add a gif sooner later, my internet is wonky lol, i’m okay no worries and i actually enjoyed writing this ! ^__^)

Gon Freecss

gon is the type of person who likes to hold hands with his sweet s/o.

the two of you would often hold hands, may it be in public or in private.

gon likes to hug you too and he'd often catch you off guard so it's a surprise. expect the unexpected [name]!

this boy is pretty affectionate when it comes to the one he loves, which is you.

so you were pretty much, a blushing mess all the time.

not that you were uncomfortable with the cute little things he does, you just simply get flustered easily.

your heart just can't seem to function properly from his touch. it always makes your heart race or skip a beat.

you just love it, the feeling, the sparks that it gives you!

gon is quite naive when it comes to your reaction so he'd mistake you for being sick because you'd be red.

"[name]-chan! your face is red and you're warm too!" gon claims, cupping your round face in his open palms. "are you ill?"

you feel your heart melt as your face rests in his warm hands, stammering, "U-UM, NO! I'M FINE!"

gon would often help you with your nen because it was a one of a kind.

you were a specialist, formerly a [nen] user.

it was really impressive of you to succeed it in such a young age, your power nurtured easily in such a short span of time.

it mostly gets out of your control because you can be clumsy at times.

one time, you had activated your nen without even notice!

you were rambling about gon about this [favorite dessert] store you saw.

when you flicked your wrist to wave your hand as you talked, your nen suddenly popped up out of nowhere and your natural reaction was to panic.

"A-AH!" you yelped, "I'm so sorry! I was rambling and I-I just—

gon held both of your hands, causing your heart to skip another beat as he leaned to your face.

this made your nen subside and your face blush red.

"calm down [name]-chan." he beamed a reassuring smile at you. "it's okay. i'm here! now continue what you were saying."

even if you find yourself annoying for rambling about the most random things, gon loved it whenever you ramble.

his eyes would seem to sparkle at the words the fell from your mouth as you talk.

"o-okay!" a smile, too, had appeared on your face.

as long as you are with gon, everything would be alright.

even if you can get clumsy and all that, you try your best to help gon in return. gon always has your back in everything.

"gon! let me help you!" you run up to him, nearly tripping yourself in the process.

"oh, thank you [name]-chan! you're the best!" gon winks at you.

ba dump.. there goes your heart once again.

Killua Zoldyck

killua would often tease you for getting flustered very easily.

you two can just be talking about chocolates, the next thing you know you have a dust of pink on your cheeks.

if he’s a cloud, you’re a strawberry.

he finds this behavior of yours really adorable.

“you’re being a strawberry again [name].” he laughs, causing your face to heat up.

“shush!” you stammered, puffing your cheeks.

killua likes to kiss your cheek and nose because of this, it makes your heart practically burst every damn time.

‘mwa’

you really liked his way of affection towards you, you find comfort and a sense of warmth.

asides from being a strawberry, killua also calls you, ‘clumsy strawberry’.

being the clumsy person you are, you’d often lose your balance or footing especially when he starts being affectionate and when teases you.

“come on! hurry up [name] or else you’ll fall behind.” said killua, calling you from a distance. you and killua were taking a hike with his friends, kurapika, leorio and gon.

“alright, alright i’m getting ther— AH!” you shrieked, tripping over a rock in the middle of the path.

“you are such a clumsy strawberry, [name]. but you’re cute.” killua sighs, chuckling as he caught you right on time before you fell frontwards. you were a blushing madman after that.

killua learned to never tease you to the point you’d let your nen loose from being flustered.

you had a pretty strong nen, you were a specialist after all. a former [nen type] user.

one time killua decided to mess with you, calling you cute names and poking your shoulder. it got to the point wherein he attempted to tickle you and when you choked out a laugh from his attempt, you nearly destroyed the room with your nen that had gotten unleashed.

“OOPS.” you gulped, staring at the [color] aura faintly shrouding your palms. you looked around to see the once tidy room, a complete mess with the furnitures shoved back and downwards.

“i’m so sorry, i am never doing that again!” killua apologized after that, eyes wide. “are you okay [name]?!”

“y-yeah.” you managed out, stifling a laugh as you scratched the back of your head.

and that’s why killua started helping you control your nen after seeing how powerful it was.

you were clumsy so there are times wherein you inevitably unleash it involuntarily.

killua made sure to help you every step of the way for you to harness that power with your full-control.

killua can be a tsundere and chocolate loving dork but he’s responsible.

“you’re getting the hang of it, that’s amazing [name]!” he cheered, watching you unleash your power under your control. “guess you’re no longer a clumsy strawberry huh?”

you blushed, “hey!”

“don’t worry, you’re still my strawberry.” killua winked, beaming you a smile and a finger gun.

ba dump.. there goes your heart once again.

Hisoka Morow

hisoka adores his little fruit very much.

you were a one of a kind to be exact, you possessed great power that is even greater than his.

in fact, your strong nen could even become set free from your control because it’s just that strong.

luckily, you are able to control it thanks to his help!

hisoka is a great help whenever you need aid in concentrating and controlling because he makes you calm.

“just focus on me and relax, [name].” hisoka tells you calmly, gently holding your hands, feeling your aura grow and concentrate on your palms as you closed your eyes upon inserting focus.

but your nen isn’t the only thing that he adores.

hisoka adores your bubbly and chatty personality.

he just loves to hear you rambling about your day and the things you saw and did, he loves to listen to your voice, it’s like music to his ears.

hisoka finds it adorable whenever you ramble.

he’d smile and laugh at the hand actions you do as you tell your story.

whenever you talk, he ends up holding your hand. hisoka would run his thumb over your knuckles soothingly as you talk.

that’s when become a tomato.

hisoka likes to do that just to make you blush, he is aware of how easily flustered you can be.

“so adorable..” you hear him murmur as a laugh escape his throat.

with puffed cheeks, you turn away and pout, “shut up, i’m not blushing. let me finish my story!”

hisoka smiles, letting you continue but not until he plants a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“HISOKA!” you squeal, now you were a tomato completely from your intense blushing.

“fufufufu..”

since you can be clumsy, you’d often crash into things.

in fact, you even end up crashing into hisoka because of your clumsiness at times.

“[name]-chan~~ oh, my— are you alright?” he ends up chuckling at the fact you end up bumping into him as you walk by him holding a book.

“i’m fine.” you held the nape of your neck, “sorry!”

“what a clumsy little fruit.” hisoka comments as he snakes an arm around you, pulling you into a quick kiss that is enough to make you flustered all over again.

ba dump.. there goes your heart once again.

Illumi Zoldyck

illumi being illumi, he can be quite serious. as you can tell by the way he acts most of the time, he is a pretty responsible individual!

he is the eldest brother in the family after all and a well-trained assassin.

illumi is highly aware of how clumsy you can be so he makes sure you’re alright every time!

he makes sure you don’t get injured or hurt by tripping on something or running into a wall by accident.

if you do get hurt, he makes sure you get bandaged right away or treated.

“please be careful next time, [name]. i don’t like it when you get hurt.” illumi tells you as he applies an ice pack to your bruised elbow.

“sorry.” you frown.

“it’s okay, i’m not mad. i just care for you.” he says with a blank, closed eyed smile.

since you have a powerful nen that often breaks loose from your control, illumi would watch over you, making sure you don’t injured by your own power or injure any people.

he wouldn’t resort in using his needles to manipulate you for you to be able to control it.

that’s because he cares for you, he loves you.

illumi doesn’t think its right for him to do such a thing to a sweet and kind person like you.

you were pretty much the only one who manages to hold his humanity together.

you were the only person that he’d be close and affectionate with.

illumi wouldn’t dare to hold someone else’s hand, embrace someone or even kiss them. he’d kill them, it has to be you.

he didn’t actually mind of how flustered you’d get that easily.

he discreetly thinks its cute but no one knows that.

“illumi!” you’d stammer as illumi holds you close to his side as you both casually watch tv together on the couch.

illlumi would ignore you, proceeding to plant a kiss on your head. “shh.” he’d hush you.

ba dump.. there goes your heart once again.

clumsy or not, easily flustered or not. illumi loves you for who you are.

no matter how dangerous or powerful your nen can be, even if that power can kill him. he doesn’t care.

Chrollo Lucilfer

chrollo’s darling is very fond of his affection.

you honestly but discreetly love it whenever he’s close to you as you two read books.

you feel safe with his presence and the way his touch gives you comfort and a sense of security, it just never fails to make you blush deeply.

you easily get flustered!

chrollo would tease you about it as you kisses your forehead lovingly.

“you’re a blushing mess again, dear.” he states, chuckling at the look on your face.

“that’s because you’re close.” you say in reply, arms folded as you smile and giggle.

chrollo is highly aware of how clumsy you can be to the point that your strong and dangerous nen could somehow harm others, or worse, hurt yourself.

you makes sure you’re supervised pretty much all the time to prevent any mishaps.

he has his phantom troupe members to aid you and accompany you for times wherein he has to leave you for a short while.

chrollo also makes sure you are able to put your nen into practice so you’d prevent it from setting loose.

he helps you in any way he can and he’s extremely patient when it comes to you.

“you’re doing fine, dear, keep it up. relax and let it flow through you.” he says as you let your aura surrounded you.

“i got it!”

chrollo is pretty responsible just like illumi.

despite his capabilities, he never dared to steal your nen from you. even if it could be a safe and right decision for a clumsy person like you who bears such power.

chrollo has faith in you and more importantly, he loves you too much to be able to do that. it isn’t right.

chrollo just loves everything about you, from your looks to your charms.

but most of all...

it was your personality!

chrollo loved to hear you talk about the things you were so passionate about. he just adores how happy you are and how your [eye color] eyes sparkle in delight!

you may think it’s annoying but it’s not, it was never a nuisance to him.

“am i speaking way too much?” you asked out of the blue, pausing from continuing your story.

“no, please, continue. i’m listening, dear.” chrollo says, kissing your knuckles as he stares into your eyes. “you are not annoying, never.”

ba dump.. there goes your heart once again.

“chrollo!” you turn beet red.

“what?” he tilts his head, laughing. “but it’s true [name].”

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somersetmummy · 4 years ago

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(A/N): This fic takes place immediately following book 1 chapter 11 (after being rescued by Sam from Sofia's closet). Not going to lie, I originally posted this monster fic (7000+ words) on Wattpad as a whole (my first fic, I didn’t know better!) so I’ve taken the opportunity to re-write and condense but thought it read better as two parts.

Series/Pairing: The Nanny Affair (M!Sam Dalton x MC Katie Hide)

Original characters - all property of PB: Katie Hide (MC), Sam Dalton, Mason & Mickey Dalton, Jenny Blake, Robin Flores (Part Two only)

New characters: (Present in Part Two) Serena-Rose Warren, Tessa Finch, Lucinda Hansen

Rating/Content warning: 18+ Light sexual language

Word Count: 1880

Summary: Driving home together, Nanny Katie Hide and her boss Sam Dalton get a little hot and steamy after she receives an offer of a night out with the girls.

Find Part Two here.

Part One -

The companionable silence within the car provides a stark contrast to the chaos of rush hour on the streets outside. Sam leisurely meanders through the traffic seemingly taking care not to rush the journey, enjoying a rare opportunity for the two of them to steal a fleeting moment to themselves. With their fingers laced together resting on his thigh, as his other commands control of the steering wheel, she steals a lingering glance in his direction relishing in the flutters which catch in her stomach as he notices her watching him. His lips curl into a comfortable smile in reply of her unspoken affection and it takes all his might to keep his eyes on the road.

In the footwell below her feet the distant hum of a phone, neglected in her bag, buzzing faintly to itself punctuates the quiet once again, as it has been for the last ten minutes. Tired of being ignored, the buzzing transforms into a piercing ring causing its owner to startle and refocus. Untangling her fingers from Sam's she reaches down to collect it, her frustration at being interrupted quickly forgotten when she sees her friend's name on the home screen.

"Finally!! So you are alive!" Jenny squeals down the phone without restraint. The smirk on Sam's face is unmissable as he recognises the shrill voice on the other end of the phone. Katie returns his glance with an eye roll of her own as she braces herself for an interrogation.

"Ok, ok I get it, I'm here now. What's up?"

"You need to ask that gorgeous boss of yours to give you Friday night off, we're taking you out and I won't take no for an answer! It's about time we had a girls night, we've barely seen you since you've been living it up with that sex god."

Katie winces hoping Sam hadn't heard that last bit, subtlety was never Jenny's strong suit. She knows she doesn't need to consider her answer, just thinking of how much she's missed her friends the last few months sparks a pang of guilt deep in heart. A night free from the drama of fiancés, stolen glances and torturous longing sounds perfect.

"That actually sounds great Jen, I'll try my best to come. Aren't we pushing it to get a spot at any of the good places though if we're leaving it this late..."

Jenny scoffs, feigning disbelief that Katie would think she didn’t already have a master plan. If she wasn’t her best friend she’d feel a little insulted.

"You don't think I'm already all over that?! And I mean literally, I've got Josh on the case for us and I definitely got all over that!"

The smugness in her voice carries her words and Katie can't help but giggle as she pictures how her unabashedly forward friend would've convinced her current flavour of the month Joshua Demarco, to use his connections to get them access to the hottest new bar in town. She'd no doubt that while a few flutters of eyelashes and some kind words would have sufficed, it was more likely that Jen would have insisted on giving him something more in return. And that something would most definitely not have been PG.

As the more outgoing and vocal half of their partnership, Jenny has always had a way of charming everybody she meets, her connection with people is effortless, something which Katie finds both admirable and terrifying.

While some could argue that Katie too could charm and impress people effortlessly, she is undoubtedly more comfortable in the background, observing and understanding how things work before weighing in. She notices the details, picking up on key points of conversation, getting to know people on a personal level and drawing on their connections to help assert herself. Jen needed to be visible at all times, she was like the sun, drawing people in to her warmth and reflecting her own energy back at them in return.

"I'll leave it with you then Jen, just text me with the details and I'll see if I can make it. And I don't mean the steamy details of you and Josh, you can save those to share with me over cocktails!" Sam's intensely brooding gaze falls upon her, no doubt trying to glue together the pieces of conversation he'd just overheard. She turns to him realising he probably already suspects there’s a further story to be told. They’d not yet shared much about their lives beyond the penthouse but he’d heard enough to know that she could be easily influenced by her impulsive friend.

"Jen I'd better go, speak soon."

Returning the phone to the depths of her bag, she catches Sam's eye, his expression warm but curious, clearly waiting for her to elaborate.

"Would you mind if I took the night off on Friday? Jen's asked if I can meet her and some friends, we haven't seen each other for ages...."

Unsure where the feeling comes from, the urge to say more rushes over her like a wave crashing on the shore. It’s the same as the feeling of nervousness she had that night a few weeks ago at the diner, almost like first date nerves. Perhaps, she realises, they’ve resurfaced because her whole life has been tangled with his for the last few months, she's not really sure how to break out of it and step back into her own, or whether he'll let her.

"Obviously I'll make sure I get the boys dinner sorted, the place tidy, laundry done and get them to bed before I head out....and I won't stay out late, I wouldn't want to cause any disruption....unless you've got any pressing work or meetings which means you'll be home late... I can cancel, I know it's short notice..."

"Woah, who are you, Cinderella?!"

The mirth in his tone instantly relaxes her as she realises he's only teasing. While attempting, and failing, to look defiant her nose inevitably crinkles, unable to contain the laughter bubbling to the surface at the silliness of her outburst. He leans over gently resting his hand on her knee to placate her, stroking her delicate skin with his thumb.

"Of course you should go out with your friends."

"Really?"

"Definitely." He continues, "as much as I would love to keep you to myself I know that you have a life of your own to live too and you, more than anyone, deserve to go out and enjoy yourself."

Sweeping his hand into her own, she gracefully brings it to her lips, tickling featherlight kisses along his knuckles.

"Thank you....but I don't know that you'd really want me to let my hair down if you knew how our girls nights usually play out..."

A wicked smile casts on her lips as she looks at him from under her long eyelashes, she continues to caress his hand, her lips teasing his skin with every word. He struggles to keep his eyes on the road, his mind racing with the many possible indiscretions which he imagines could take place on girls night, especially with Jenny at the helm. The visions in his mind entrance him and he can't decide whether he wishes he was part of them, or that she wasn't.

"I see, a bit of an every man for himself situation is it?!"

He pulls her hand over to his lap where he secures it on his thigh under his own. His hope that by keeping his hand on hers he can keep her grounded to him before losing her to the inhibitions of the impending night out.

"Let's just say it'll be a hot mess of short skirts, high heels, cocktails and getting sweaty on the dance floor."

Realising that the car has come to a stop at a red light she turns to Sam looking him straight in the eye as she slides her hand brazenly up his thigh. She can feel his pants straining to contain what's growing within them while his chest visibly rises and falls more rapidly, struggling to control the pulsing hunger running through him.

"But don't worry, we usually only break a few hearts".

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he launches across the centre console, holding her head in his hands and devouring her mouth with his hungry wet lips. She lets herself fall deeply into his kiss, smiling against him as she thinks to herself that she should ask for time off more often.

The light turns to green and then red again, disgruntled drivers behind sounding their horns in annoyance as the immaculate silver Audi blocks their path, but neither occupant notices as they loose themselves in one another.

Her gentle hands press against Sam's muscular chest, marvelling in the ripples beneath her fingers, before sliding them up into his hair pulling him deeper into the kiss. He keeps one hand firmly at the back of her neck, anchoring her to him while the other roams down the curves of her body, his thumb tweaking a now erect nipple before grasping at her hip.

Intruding on their entanglement, the sound of the in-car phone system echoes around the plush detailing of the car, with 'Home' appearing on the display. Breaking apart in surprise, they finally catch a breath. Sam rests his forehead intimately against hers as he gives the voice command to answer the call and Mason's innocent voice pours out of the speakers.

"Hey dad, are you gonna be home soon? We're staaarving." It's impossible for Katie not to break into a smile as she thinks about the boys at home with Carter, no doubt teaching him all sorts of tricks which she'd never let them get away with. Sam notices her thoughtful smile and matches it with his own as their minds work as one imaging the same scene. Their eyes once again meet as they resign themselves to the intimate moment being lost, instead committing it to memory to recall again when the urge to immerse themselves in thoughts of each other inevitably come to call.

"Yeah buddy, I've just picked up Katie and we're heading home now."

The smile in Mason's voice is evident as his tone becomes more upbeat.

"Oh great, Katie's with you?...Hey Katie!"

"We missed you today, why'd you have to spend the day with Suck...I mean with Sofia anyways?!" Mickey interrupts, his fear of missing out pushing him to insert himself in the conversation.

Sam and Katie stifle their giggles at Mickey's slip of the tongue, aware of the microphone above their heads. Sam places a soft kiss on Katie's forehead before pulling away begrudgingly as she in turn adjusts her position, smoothing over her now crumpled skirt.

"Hi boys, I missed you too. I was just helping her with some grown up work stuff, definitely not as fun as a day with you monkeys though.”

Much to the relief of the drivers behind them, Sam's already breezing through the now green light towards the penthouse, this time with more urgency as the sky above begins to melt into dusk.

"How about your dad and I pick up some pizza on our way back...."

Without even a moments hesitation the twins excited voices burst through the speakers once again.

"Score!"

Tag List: @shewillreadyou @txemrn @silma-words @thefrenchiemama @secretaryunpaid @sfb123 @fanjessfic

#sam dalton #sam dalton x mc #tna #the nanny affair #fanfic #choices

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dylan-is-a-frog · 4 years ago

Text

I’m here | Tech

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So! I was thinking of writing this as a reader-insert kind of one-shot? But then I thought about how attached I feel to Tech and I decided that my older brother deserved his own original partner, so this resulted in Aray'lar, who accompanies him and the bad batch during this post-order 66 universe in which the bad batch finds themselves escaping the empire and being persecuted as traitors.

A little bit about Aray'lar! (Also called Aray, Ary, Arla, Buir). Mandalorian bounty hunter, the only survivor of her clan after their extermination at the hands of the empire. For mysterious reasons she ends up traveling with the bad batch and, basically, she becomes their mother.

A little warning maybe? Here I talk about anxiety attacks. EVERYTHING in this one-shot is based on my OWN EXPERIENCE with panic attacks and this is NOT some guide about how to treat people with anxiety/panic attacks. With all that said...

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Summary: Tech needs the only person who knows how to calm him down.

Language: English.

Number of words: 1.9k

╴╴╴╴╴╴╴╴

He didn't look good.

The first thing that went through Aray's head was that Wrecker had been too rough on Echo again, perhaps Hunter had hurt himself with his knife or had hurt Crosshair. Her mind began to plot endlessly different ways that the ex-soldiers could have been hurt. At what point had she become their nanny?

Would they know that she was a warrior and not a doctor? Perhaps they would have researched enough to know that before the purge, Aray'lar had served his clan as part of the medical care, but there was no logic to it; there was no record of her existence as part of his now-defunct clan. Aray'lar, the foundling, existed only in her most precious memories and in the armor that protected her day by day. The problem was that, along with them and their tendency to experiment with their own limits, she had gradually felt again that call to care for her own, to protect them even when they lived on the edge of tomorrow.

Aliit ori'shya tal'din.

"Ary," he managed to call her with a barely audible voice. "Ary."

"Yes, cyare?" Aray looked over her shoulder. She stood on her toes carefully pushing a box full of medical supplies that they had gotten on one of their last missions. What was the name of the planet? It didn't matter, now everything was the same under the shadow of the empire. "Is it Hunter? If it's Hunter I swear I'm going to take those useless knives away from him. One of these days he's going to cut off a finger and I can't sew fingers, Tech, much less without the necessary instruments."

There was no response. Not even a correction. Tech always had something to correct in her sentences, a quality she often didn't know whether to hate, love, or both at the same time.

Aray sighed in admiration of how orderly she had left everything. The soldiers were great warriors, almost indestructible, but boy did they know how to leave their mess tidy.

"Ary, I think..." he ran out of air before he could speak any further and a small concern centered on the woman's stomach, forcing her to turn around to face the soldier. Tech's hand tried to remove his chest from his armor without any success, and he began to hyperventilate.

"What do you think? What's going on?"

She approached slowly as Tech leaned his back against the wall and let his body gently fall to the ground, flexing his legs and running one of his hands across his forehead, removing the drops of sweat that became more and more evident as she approached. Aray, with fear beginning to creep up his throat, placed the palm of her hand on his shoulder, feeling the shivers and tremors that ran through his entire body with a worrying rhythm.

"Cyare?" she asked again, this time more quietly, as if she feared that the volume of her voice would make whatever was happening to the soldier worse. "Tech?"

"I think I..." he muttered as if speaking had become an impossible task, as if the act of moving his lips drained all his energy. In a desperate attempt, he managed to give her the signal the mandalorian needed to understand what was happening. "I can't breathe."

Aray'lar's heart turned over, full of the same sadness and anxiety that always produced her to see her beloved in such conditions. Sighing softly trying to calm her own nerves, she took Tech's trembling hands in hers, placing them on her lap. As if she were trying to touch a feather without moving it. Soft, graceful movements. Even when a small sob came from between his lips, she fought against the increasing crying that appeared in her chest every time Tech looked for her, also looking for that peace that only the warrior could give him.

Crises did not usually distress him during the day, but since the empire had identified the mandalorian bounty hunter as a traitor, under the premise of helping the clones, the soldier's anguish at the idea of losing Aray'lar hit him more and more often.

As much as she would like to feel needed, she would give anything to take away all the weight that the soldier made himself carry. Would there be any way? She had thought of leaving, even though it would end up killing the soldier. But there was what kept her calm, that feeling that ran down her back when he woke her up in the middle of the night and took refuge in her arms.

Aray was his safe space. Everyone trusted the mandalorian and her abilities, both physically and emotionally, but the connection she had developed with Tech was much deeper than that, it was much more than love or respect. The soldier had a great brain, and the conversations with him never ended because of his immense memory and ability to record everything he saw in his mind. Tech was always proud of what he knew, and rarely showed genuine surprise at other people's actions, but there was something that everyone saw that only happened with the warrior.

Tech could talk about many things, but his own person was sometimes totally unknown to him. Talking with him meant not only listening to him and enjoying his face illuminated by the joy of being taken into account in a genuine and real way, but it was also seeing his confusion by asking him banal things like his favorite color, or much deeper questions like how much he loved his brothers. His traumas, fears and afflictions. His panic at the possibility of losing one of his own, or losing his cyare.

The soldier clung to the tangible, to objective information. Exploring himself meant understanding that there was no more complicated knowledge but that of self-knowledge. Usually, his panic attacks were born from the same need to discover himself and understand himself, to understand little by little that there were things that could not be explained with numbers or words.

Aray'lar had taught him that, from the moment he taught him that the traditions of his clan went far beyond information, rituals and battles. Ary had taught his cyare to feel, to close the eyes and understand those emotions that could not be read, that could not be understood unless they were experienced.

Their first kiss. Their first time.

"It's all right, my love, I'm here," she whispered as she gently caressed her partner's hands, listening to his gasping for breath. "It's all under control, I'm right here, and I'm not leaving."

She simply stroked his hands until the soldier squeezed the woman's hands and bent down trying to hide in her chest. With slow, gentle movements Aray turned to him and guided him to settle between her legs. As if it were a complicated puzzle that she had already deciphered before, she quickly managed to get Tech to find shelter with his head hidden between her neck and shoulder. When her fingers began to touch his short hair, Aray began to breathe deeply and slowly, making the soldier try to follow her rhythm without uttering a word, slowing his own breathing as the minutes went by.

"Keep it up, cyare, you're doing great," she whispered as she brushed her fingers around his hair, down to the nape of his neck. "Do you feel it, my love? Do you feel the air coming in through your nose? I'm with you, Tech, this is going to pass."

Ary continued to breathe next to him before any of them spoke again. In her eyes, Tech was much more than a smart guy. He was a man who hid his fears and felt the need to find a solution to everything, even though there wasn't one. Tech had always distinguished himself from others, taking into account that his greatest weapon against any enemy was his incredible ingenuity and his ability to save information that could seem useless to anyone. But Tech had also had to fight, like his brothers, with the feeling of not belonging. Not being able to keep his mouth shut was one of his biggest insecurities, until the joy of the mandalorian bounty hunter and the way she always asked him to know more had let him know that there was someone willing to know every curious fact he was learning in each of his missions.

She loved his voice, his laughter. The confidence with which he spoke about the things he knew when he was with her and how shame seemed to be a distant enemy that no longer prevented him from letting go.

But feeling him calm, relaxed. Knowing that both his body and his mind were peaceful... Maker, that was an experience she would treasure for the rest of her life.

To feel his breath calm was a feeling that made her heart explode with joy. To hear through his skin how the minutes passed as the caresses and words of support that left Ary's lips seemed eternal. Again and again her voice let out phrases full of genuine love as the nightmare ended.

His body still trembled gently as Tech wrapped his hands around her torso, clinging to her as if she were his most precious treasure. She was the most important thing in his life. As the shaking became weaker and weaker, she waited patiently for him to take his time to speak.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and she could hear a little sobbing escaping his lips. "I'm sorry I'm like this, cyare."

"You're like what? Amazing? Incredibly smart? Charming?" a small laugh escaped his lips as she allowed herself to laugh softly too. "It's all right, Tech, I'll always be here for you. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, but..." he muttered, but he couldn't finish. Still with his arms around her torso, he lifted his face and stopped hiding it so he could look into Aray'lar's brown eyes, who realized for the first time that he wasn't wearing his glasses, and his eyes were completely red from the crying that had accompanied his crisis. "Ary'ika, if one day we can no longer escape, can you promise me that you will do everything to keep yourself safe?"

She smiled weakly and with one hand she caressed his cheek, it was not time to discuss these matters seriously. Never was the time to do it. If the empire was threatening anyone, it was them, not a Mandalorian bounty hunter, but it was not in her plans to trigger another crisis in the poor man. "I can't promise you that, Tech, but I will always do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to us."

"I wouldn't know what to do if they did something to you because of us, cyare, and if the empire caught you helping us they could... They could..."

"They could do nothing as long as we are all together, my love."

The clone soldier said nothing, because there was no need to say what they had talked about so many times. Neither would leave the other without fighting, and the same applied to their entire family. They all shared the same fear, even if some did not want to accept it.

As if his face were made of glass, Aray'lar cradled the cheeks of his beloved in hes hands, gently approaching him and giving Tech the peace he needed to know that, for now, all things were fine. It didn't matter what happened tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.

"You are my universe, Ary'ika," he said.

They were together, and even if they were far away, they would always have their aliit present.

"My universe and my life, ner cyare," she continued.

#the bad batch #clone wars #tech bad batch #star wars #star wars one shot #star wars imagine #tech #soft one shot #clone wars one shot

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butter-egg-toast · 5 years ago

Text

Living with them Headcoans part 1

What would it be like living with the boys 🤔

Long post be prepared

Categories:

How organized:

Unorganized

Organized

Both

How do they sleep:

Sleeps Normal

Sleeps Wild

Light sleeper

Heavy sleeper

Snores

Doesn't snores

How they wake up:

Early bird

Late bird

How they cook:

Bad cook

Ok cook

Good cook

Amazing cook

Other Headcoans:

Home life

Love making aka sex life

Etc

Haru How organize:

He can be disorganized and organized at the same time, would leave something on the floor but he'll pick it up.

🌟"oh I'll get it"-Haru

He cleans after himself.

Likes to make his bed after he leaves.

He does the dishes (he prefers it done his way).

He hates a dusty home. Often will dust off the appliances.

🌟"No I got it, but thank you"-Haru

How they sleeps:

Normal light sleeper who doesn't snores.

Would probably hog the blanket for himself on cold nights.

🌟"Sorry"-Haru

Likes to put his arm over your waist while sleeping.

Occasionally he sleep on the opposite side not cuddling with you.

🌟"It so hot.... I'm making a cold bath"-Haru

How they wakes up:

Naturally he's early bird.

He cooks his grill mackerel.(sometimes for you)

He needs to get up early for his daily long bath.

🌟"Come on get up, I made breakfast, I dont want it to get cold"-Haru.

🌟"If you don't wake up, I'll leave you behind"-Haru

How he cooks:

Mackerel for days. (Not everyday)

Amazing cook

You both would probably cook separate meals, But you'll still eat his mackerel.

🌟"What's this called again? It's pretty good"-Haru

Would try to cook different meals for you.(He doesn't want to bore you with mackerel)

He prefers to do all the cooking but he likes it when you do it once in a while.

🌟"I'll try and make it, but I can't promise if it turns out great"-Haru

Other Headcoans:

Hope you Get use to the smell of mackerel.

🌟"It's not that bad"-Haru

Baths toghter

🌟"Hey stop moving, enjoy the water"-Haru

🌟"Do you want to take a bath with me?"-Haru

When it comes to sex Haru usually give you singles like: Hinting that he may want a little action, being more affectionate/touchy

🌟"you're hair looks amazing"-Haru

He likes sex on the weekends(Doesn't have to worry about school work)

Makoto: How organize:

Sometimes he's organize but mosty unorganize but not to a point were his room is a mess.

He can be forgetful at times.(not all the time just minor stuff)

🌟"Sorry (y/n) I forgot your book at the cafe"-Makoto

Tends to misplace items

🌟 "Do you remember where I put my phone at (y/n)?"- Makoto

How they sleeps:

He's very careful when he sleeps; he doesn't want to crush you(like accidentally rolling over you)

Heavy sleeper

Both snores and doesn't snores (if he's really tired then he will snore, but on a normal days he doesn't snores ).

He cuddles with you morning and night.

🌟"Lets stay like this for a few more minutes before getting up"-Makoto

How they wake up:

Another early bird he has morning classes/work

He wakes you up.

If you wake up before him, you'll cook breakfast a head of time for Makoto.

🌟"ahhh come on, You can't stay in bed all day”-Makoto

🌟"I know you don't want to leave the bed but you have too.. come on"-Makoto

How they cooks:

Both of you do the cooking (mosty you).

He help clean the dishes afterwards.

He love curry and chocolate cake

🌟" I made breakfast today!"-Makoto

🌟"How does it taste? Is it okay?"-Makoto

Other Headcoans:

Really good at massages.

🌟"Your leg is hurting? Well come here I'll fix that for you"-Makoto.

When he is in the mood he would become touchy(not to a point were you are uncomfortable): kisses on the cheek, and longer hugs.

Would rub himself against you(not in a weird way)

🌟"..that was a cute reaction"-Makoto

Rei: How organize:

Really really organize.

Everything in alphabetical order or numeric order.

🌟" keep it in a beautiful order"-Rei

Book on the shelf all perfectly organized

Both of your clothes are neatly folded.(by him)

Sometimes he would nag you to clean up.

🌟"(y/n) San please don't leave your socks on the floor"-Rei

He likes beautiful decorations like: photos of you and him, family photos and art

🌟"I'm going to frame this picture of us"-Rei

How do the sleep:

He seems like the type to sleep with one of those beauty mask over his eyes.

He has a night facial routine.

He does not snore because it's not beautiful.

🌟"I breathe through my nostrils instead of my mouth, breathing through your mouth can cause your throat muscles to dry up during your 8 hours of sleep"-Rei

Sleeps on a tight schedule.

How they wake up:

Early bird.

He's the one that AWALYS wakes you up

🌟"Ahh come on its morning already"-Rei.

🌟"If u wake up properly, I'll will consider giving you a reward."-Rei

Likes to keep everything on a tight schedule.

🌟"we can't miss first period"-Rei

How they cook:

An AMAZING chef.

He does all the cooking, he wants a healthy well balance meal.

He love to eat sushi

🌟"Having basic nutrients is the key to a Beautiful body"-Rei

He HATES juck food, but he knows you like it.

🌟"(y/n) are you sure? There a lot of sugar in this"-Rei

🌟"You sure eat alot of that.... I'll try it once"-Rei

🌟" *cough* *cough* t-this is too sweet"-Rei

Other Headcoans:

He studies and read alot.

He's usually too afraid/embarrass to ask for sex, but he will throw hints: random shoulder rubs, out of nowhere kissing.

🌟"hmmm? You look tense, that's all"-Rei

🌟"..Well if you want to make love then, I'll be happy too" Rei

Nagisa: How organized:

Not good at keeping things tidy.

Occasionally forgets his clothes on the floor.

🌟"Ahh, sorry I forgot, I'll pick it up"-Nagisa

Tends to throw clothes on the bed and forgetting it later

How do the sleep:

Doesn't actual fall asleep right away

Heavy sleeper who doesn't snore.

Mosty likely to stay up watching tv or talking to you.

Also he'll wake up at 1am to get him a midnight snack.

🌟"oh I was hungry, want some?"-Nagisa

Tends to sleeps talks

🌟"(y/n) chan, Rei chan give me my iwatobi bread"-Nagisa

How they wake up:

He has to wake up early

He hates it but you sometimes force him out of bed.

🌟"...ok... I'll get up"-Nagisa

When he wakes you up, he's really gental

🌟" (y/n) chan if you don't wake up I'll tickle you"-Nagisa

How they cook:

Not a very good cook. (Bad cook)

All he eats is just food and Iwaotbi bread.

🌟"eh? It's a healthy diet"-Nagisa

So yeah let's hope you can cook a meal he would like.

🌟"mhhh!! I can eat this forever"-Nagisa

Other Headcaons:

Broad games with him. (He always manage to win every game)

When in the mood he gets playful.

🌟"yeah? That feels good"-Nagisa

Rin:How organized:

Organize

Never makes the bed though

🌟"That's pointless we're coming back home to it."-Rin

Keeps all his clothes folded.

How they sleep.

Just like Rei He perfers sleeps on a very tight schedule.

Night Exercising

🌟"oh sorry if I'm loud... i just couldn't sleep"-Rin

He's a light sleeper but he may snore on busy/tiring days

How they wake up

early bird

he'll kiss you goodbye in the moring so he could do his morning jog.

🌟"tch..i told you not to stay up last night."-Rin

🌟"no way you're not going to skip class today..come on"-Rin

He always complain every time when he wakes you up but he loves doing it anyway.

🌟"wake up already IT'S morning."-Rin

🌟"why do I have to wake you up everytime."-Rin

How they cook:

Good cook

likes to keep his diet healthy but occasionally he'll a burger or junk food

He hates sweet stuff.

🌟"no way I'm not eating that"-Rin

He prefers to make his breakfast

He'll make your breakfast and put it in the refrigerator when he leaves early

🌟"I put you food in the fridge"-Rin

Other Headcoans

Home Exercising

Its a actual Headcoans that he shaves all his body hair.

🌟"What? It makes it easier for me to swim"- Rin

Loves going to the movies

When in the mood he tends to hug you from behind whispering in your ear

🌟"Hey let's have some fun"-Rin

#free! road to the world #free dive to the future #free images #free!#free! eternal summer #haruka nanase #nagisa hazuki #rei ryuugasaki #rin matsuoka #makoto tachibana

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 3 years ago

Text

right then.

content warning for all of the shit from the first part now with rather more direct mentions of suicidal ideation, and some real Shape of Water shit that also features a lot of blood. I can't explain my art.

12.

"How long can you go without food?" Elnora asked, when she'd gulped down her own flavorless rations. Enough left to see her through another week and a half before she ran out, longer if she was stingy with herself.

"Me?" the siren asked innocently. "Why would you ask that, dear shore girl?"

"I want to know if you're hungry. And you'd better not be, because my delivery drone is running late and I don't have much to share."

"Late," the siren said, in a tone that strongly suggested it thought Elnora was being a bit too optimistic. "I see. Worry not. I am hungry, terribly so. I've never known starvation such as this, not even on the seafloor when we picked the last whale clean, but no matter how I ache I cannot take your food. It isn't mad for a creature like me."

There was a question hanging on the top of Elnora's tongue, but no - there was no point asking, was there? The siren must have seen the regulation on her face because it spread its mouth wide to show off every deadly tooth, an awful imitation of a smile.

"You know what I eat, shore girl."

"Well, you can't have it."

"Not even a little? Just a nibble? I could hardly drown you in this little thing." The siren pouted, splashing at the water in its tub.

More seawater would have to be added soon, Elnora thought; the siren's jutting hip bones were exposed now and she didn't like the way the sight of them made her face warm.

"You can spend a day going hungry," she said curtly. "Surely enough people have starved because of you and your kin sinking every ship that tried to bring them food. And you must be nearly healed now."

The siren ran long fingers over the raw-looking skin of its side. "Nearly. Tomorrow I will be ready for mother sea, I think."

It turned to Elnora with a close-mouthed smile, propping its chin on the edge of the tub in a way that seemed nearly coquettish. "Will you miss me when I'm gone?"

Another question Elnora didn't like the answer to. She said nothing at all, grabbing her boots and coat to bustle out the door, the siren laughing in her wake.

13.

She filled out the charts that needed filling: speed of the wind, pressure of the air, height and frequency of the waves. Each factor was measured carefully and then measured again for precision, then written up in a report. She booted up her slow landline connection and wrote a pleasant missive, as she always did, and sent her reports to an agent of the ISP who oversaw such things.

The data on its own was minutia; in bulk, compiled from hundreds of shorekeepers along the edges of the world, it was vital. Elnora had felt proud about that once.

ISP command rarely wrote back; friendly correspondence was a waste of time and precious resources and severely limited bandwidth. But it had been customary to receive, every week or so, a perfunctory thanks for her tidy work, a recommendation for future observations, a promise of a new tool coming soon to replace one that has been broken. A brisk reminder that someone out there was actually reading her reports, that it wasn't all in vain.

Elnora had always found the process disappointingly impersonal, until those missives stopped coming altogether. Now she'd have cut off a finger or toe just to see a message meant for someone else, sent to her by mistake.

At least she would know there was another someone out there.

14.

"The gulls are terrible gossips, you know? They tell us what happens inland, where we can't see."

"Why should they tell you anything? They're sky creatures, not sea."

"Oh, wrong wrong wrong. They hate you, little shoregirl, your whole bastard kind. They remember the taste of fishes - the old ones pass down stories to the young. So they resent you, and take our side."

"Rats with wings."

"They tell us such interesting things. Great fires and droughts and plagues that sweep the whole wide world. Panic, everywhere. And hunger, which makes more panic. So many dead, more than anyone knows what to do with."

" You could be lying about all of this. Isn't that your whole purpose? To get us where the bigger monsters can't, to make us want to jump into the water ourselves?"

"Maybe so." The siren giggled, reaching fruitlessly for Elnora's hand as if she hadn't sat deliberately just beyond its range. "Do you want a little taste? Just to see what it would feel like?"

It smirked at her, but its pointy mouth fell open in surprise when Elnora thrust one hand within its reach.

"Go on, then. Show me."

15.

She had never known such tenderness

Elnora had taken many lovers in her life. Sexual relations between shorekeepers were permitted as long as everyone used proper prophylactics, even encouraged as a way of boosting morale; it was well known that there were numerous positive physical and psychological effects of regular coital endeavours. Most shorekeepers who were paired up tried it out eventually, regardless of their age or tastes or whether they even got along - anything to break up the monotony of it all, and to feel a little something.

Elnora had felt all manner of somethings, but never had she been so deeply, ruinously wanted. To the other keepers in her bed she had been a warm body, a matter of convenience; to the siren she was everything.

And the siren barely touched her!

It took her warm, fleshy hand in its own clammy damp one and made careful examination, running its sharp claws across her palm lines and knuckle bones with a curator's curiosity. And just when Elnora thought the anticipation was going to make her burst out of her skin, the siren brought her hand up to its mouth, pressing cold lips to the meat of her thumb and - oh.

Something contracted tightly within Elnora the moment sharp teeth broke her open; her whole body went pleasantly limp and warm while her head spun. It reminded her of the small amounts of champagne keepers were permitted on sabbatical, only infinitely better and so, so instantaneous.

Meanwhile the siren worked over her bleeding hand, coaxing out more of what it wanted. It caressed her with an ink-dark tongue, animal noises of unchecked desire emanating from its throat. When she did feel the cut of its teeth it was restrained, only enough to make her shudder as she felt a little more of herself rushing out into the siren's hungry mouth.

When the siren released her, smiling with pink-stained yellow teeth, Elnora shuddered and gasped, feeling quite unsteady. If she’d tried to stand she surely would have fallen.

“Why did you stop?” she asked, a shameful tremble in her voice.

“Because I’m full now,” said the siren. “And I would hate for you to run out of blood to give.”

“Your kind kills humans all the time.”

“Never without permission, shoregirl. Only when you ask.”

16.

Elnora clumsily bandaged her own hand and choked down a dehydrated meal, then stumbled out into the sand. She took a bottle of water along and drank greedily, knowing that she had enough liquid reserves for four or five days yet to go.

There was a place down the shore where she liked to walk sometimes, when she felt in need of exercise and air. It was as far as she dared ever go, the point where the small landmark of her cottage disappeared entirely from view behind crumbling dunes. The idea of pressing on further felt tantalizingly forbidden. A tall and gnarled stick marked the spot where Elnora liked to sit, complete with rag tied ’round it like a dismal flag. The fabric was tattered now, sand-crusted and faded. Elnora couldn’t recall what color it had been originally - blue, maybe, or was it red? Or perhaps it had always been gray, and she had misremembered.

For long, idle hours she sat staring out at the burning sea and suffocating smog of the sky. For a bit she tipped onto her back to look inwards towards the land and search for some sign of a drone to bring her rations, but of course there was nothing to sea. She turned her focus back to the water and imagined that she could make out dark heads and pale limbs among the waves, or maybe she wasn’t imagining at all.

Elnora would have cried, if weepiness wasn’t something all good and dutiful orphans had to unlearn or have beaten out of them. It was a waste of precious water, their teachers said, and how did they know that water hadn’t been tainted as well?

17.

She didn’t stand until the dusk had come and brought a chill along with it; by the time she reached the cottage she was numb all-over.

That was likely for the best.

“Oh, there you are,” the siren said idly, lounging as ever in its tub. “You’ve been a very naughty shoregirl today, haven’t you? Hardly doing any of your silly little tasks. Isn’t that all your kind is good for?”

“How are you feeling?” asked blue-lipped Elnora.

“Hungry again, now that you mention it. But well. Ready to crawl back into the briny womb of mother sea, come the morning. Look.”

The siren twisted to show off its side, ran a webbed hand along the nearly-normal flesh. To their mutual surprise Elnora dropped to her knees beside the tub and did more than look, pressing her own shaky hand to the oily-slick skin. She worked her way up from the thrust of its pelvis until she was nearly cupping its miniscule breast, excruciatingly aware of the siren twitching beneath her touch.

“You’ll go tomorrow? Back into the water?”

“And leave you all alone, yes. Forever and ever, which won’t be very long. Not once you run out of water.”

“Shut up,” said Elnora. She was thinking hard, staring into nothingness, refusing to meet the siren’s eyes or look at it at all. “What will happen? If I come with you, I mean.”

The siren sighed and shuddered with pleasure, its popping eyes widening even further. “Oh, shoregirl, for you? My special favorite? For you we will sink down to the deepest of darkness, where the picked-clean bones of the whales still rest. All the worms and crabs that ate them have gone hungry, but the wisdom of the world is still scrawled in their remains. Maybe you can read it, hmm? No human ever has. But for you, my lonely one, my darling, for you we might make an exception. Nothing but the best for you, my treasure, after what you’ve done for me. We will writhe like eels together in the deep-dark forever, feasting on each other.”

“I see,” said Elnora. She nodded once, making a decision, and began to remove her clothing.

18.

Some numberless hours later Elnora crawled damply into bed, pruned and pruned with cold and swaddled in tiny lacerations. Every part of her ached, deliciously. She wished it would never end. She wished that she was dead.

Sleep seemed like an impossibility, but then the siren started singing. Its song was pure tonight, high and clear with victory. Elnora sank swiftly into a slumber as deep and dreamless as the sea, and found herself waking with resolve.

19.

She had shirked her work yesterday; that wouldn’t do. She had much to do to prepare the cottage for her betrayal, in case someone took over after she left. In case there was anyone left to take over for her at all.

Elnora would not have it said that she kept a messy station.

Numbers to record, one last report to file. Rations to inventory and repack, water from the solar still to be collected. She made her bed, made one last effort to sweep out all the sand, even cleaned up the latrine. Through toil she offered her apologies for what was about to come.

Finally there was nothing left to do but pull on her sturdiest boots, thick coat, and gloves - layers that she hoped would keep the inevitable chill at bay as long as possible.

The siren had been unusually quit all morning - humming to itself, content with its little victory - but brightened up considerably when Elnora scooped it up into her arms. It clung to her like a barnacle, dark wet hair falling in her face, hissing eagerly in her ear about the sweetness that awaited.

20.

Elnora marched down the beach cradling her siren, cradling like a baby or a sack of feathers. At the water’s edge she paused, prompting the siren to press a kiss to her ravaged lips.

“Nearly there now, shoregirl. Almost finished.”

“Almost,” agreed Elnora, who then summoned every bit of strength she had to throw the siren as far and hard as she possibly could into the water. She didn’t dally to see how it would react; the second it left her arms she was sprinting back up the beach in all her heavy garments.

“Shoregirl!” screeched the siren, furious with indignation. “What are you doing? You coward, you fool, come back to me now! I’ve tasted your heart and plunged your depths; I know this isn’t what you want!”

What could it possibly know about what she wanted? It was only a fish, wasn’t it? At the end of the day, it knew even less of the world than Elnora did.

She’d wondered if she ought to put on her earmuffs for safety, but as she reached the cottage and snatched up her bag stuffed to bursting with rations and drinking water she found that her siren’s increasingly desperate cries were easy to ignore. Why should she roll over and get drowned? That was hardly her only alternative to staying on the shore. If everyone else really was gone - well, then, didn’t that make Elnora free?

“SHOREGIRL!” howled the siren, splashing furiously in the shallows. “Shoregirl, come back NOW! Come back to me my sweet, darling, my lonely precious…”

Elnora allowed herself a tiny twist of pride for having never been foolish enough to give the awful creature her name, and shut the cottage door for what would truly be the final time. The delivery truck had always come along a road, and that road surely led to somewhere. It was as good a place as any other for her to start.

A gull passed overhead, drifting alone in the dirty gray sky. Elnora spit forcefully in its direction, and hoped fervently that it would carry that message to the sea.

hey I wrote something

I mean. I've BEEN writing it I've been futzing with this story since like... at least 2019? 2018? not a short amount of time. it's turned into a pretty bloated behemoth in that time and I'm hoping to pare it back down to its original spirit.

I'm not done and I'm hoping that by throwing like the first half(ish) up here I can shame myself into seeing it through and actually getting it done.

content warning for uuuh climate grief, suicide, animal death, extreme isolation, and the ocean being creepy as hell. I think that's all the biggies.

01.

On a lonely stretch of beach at the end of the world there stood a drafty cottage, and in that cottage dwelt a woman called Elnora.

She had no family name to speak of, for the simple enough reason that she didn’t have a family. That was how she found herself in such a desolate place to begin with: only wards of the state wound up as shorekeepers, paying back the great generosity that had been shown in keeping them alive.

Elnora had often been told that she was one of the lucky ones, because she did well on her tests and had a “good temperament” for shore work. That was a hard and grueling lot in life, to be certain, but also a vital one that would save many lives and help humanity strike back against the sea.

Besides, it could be worse. Orphans who didn’t have a good work ethic grew up to sweep the streets or stand at factory assembly lines for hours on end, until their eyes seemed permanently empty and all their words came out in a jumbled mumble. You’d be put to work one way or another, Elnora thought, so you may as well try to be cheerful about it.

No one liked an ungrateful orphan.

02.

She was being watched by something in the wicked sea.

Elnora had first noticed this precisely one week prior, although she suspected it might have been going on quite a bit longer than that. Peering out her small window one night she had noticed something shining on the waves - no, scratch that: two somethings, bobbing on the waves.

Two eyes, obviously, catching the light from her cottage in the most unsettling way. Small enough that it must have been a siren, only one hundred or so feet from the shore.

She had taken to sleeping with a pair of soundproof earmuffs jammed tight over her ears, which was terribly uncomfortable and made it hard to fall asleep. Elnora simply brewed stronger coffee in the morning to compensate; lost sleep was better than the alternative.

On the eighth night of being watched she logged her daily reports - measurements of wind and wave and weather alike - and clambered into her little bed, snug beneath the extra quilt that had once belonged to a fellow keeper. His bed stood empty against the opposite wall now, untouched out of respect.

03.

The International Sea Patrol had been a well-oiled machine once, or so Elnora had been told.

She thought that was a funny expression, a holdover from a time when there was so much oil that people took it for granted.

Regardless, there was a time when things had run very efficiently. Keepers didn’t hold any post longer than two months, and would receive a month of rest and relaxation in between each post. They never worked alone, but no pair was together longer than a month to prevent them from getting at each other’s throats. The older keepers talked about this time with reverence.

Somewhere along the line, two months had started bleeding into three. The ISP was so short-staffed, people simply weren’t enlisting like they used to, all convicts and orphans now - but it was such important work. Surely the dutiful shorekeepers could be counted on to man their stations even if it meant staying put a bit longer than they were accustomed to?

Of course, said the shorekeepers. It would be an honor.

So two months became three, and three became six, and six became a year without anyone quite realizing how. And it became more solitary along the way, so having a partner was a lucky break rather than an ironclad regulation.

Elnora’s conscript had called for a year-long post on her lonely shore. By her count she was currently on day five hundred and forty five - and counting.

04.

The morning after the storm, Elnora saw to her daily tasks before going out to comb the beach. There was water to gather from her solar still, wind speeds from the night before to log, sand endlessly in need of being swept back outside.

For breakfast she made a mug of strong coffee and chased it down with a crunchy dehydrated mean. They tasted nominally better if you bothered to hydrate them first, but not so much better that Elnora regretted not making the effort.

The delivery drone was two days late with replenishments to her rations, which had never happened before, but Elnora was trying not to worry about that.

When she was fed, if not nourished, she pulled on the thick boots and gloves that would protect her from the ocean’s sting and grabbed the long, pointed pole that would allow her to examine things from a cautious distance. There were rarely any surprises to be found on her beach, even after a storm, but one could never be too safe when it came to the sea.

Outside, in the water gray light of dawn, she spotted at once the largest of the items that the sea had left her: a humanoid figure, skeletal and green, gills gasping against the air.

05.

Even in its death throes, with the fish all gone and the very water turned to poison, the ocean had refused to go quietly. From the depths it coughed out krakens to strangle ships and drag them down; leviathans that could ram through any hull; sirens, with songs that turned sailors into their own worst enemies.

These beasts were covered extensively in the training every scorekeeper underwent. If one was found washed up dead then it would be immeasurably valuable, for the ISP wanted nothing as badly as it wanted to learn the inner workings of its most dangerous enemies. Any viable specimen, no matter how small, was to be called in immediately for collection.

But first - and this was vital - the keeper must determine that their catch was really dead. For the ocean was a tricky beast, and all its children were the same, and wouldn’t it be just like the damned sea to lure them in close before it struck?

06.

The siren was in poor condition, but very much alive.

Its limbs were long and scrawny, which Elnora knew concealed an awful strength - sailors who got grabbed by their ankles found that the best way of getting free was often to cut their own limbs off, which was much easier than loosening a single siren finger.

Its face couldn’t be human for more than a passing glance - eyes too bulbous, nose barely more than two gashes for nostrils, thin lips unable to conceal its pointed teeth. Its skin was married with thick scars and acid burns, a reminder that even the ocean’s spawn weren’t safe from its wicked ways. Thick dark hair hung tangled down its back, and its chest was dotted with two pinprick black nipples.

Elnora tore her eyes away from that and focused on what, in her estimation, really mattered: the ugly gash in its side, exposing bone and meat to the unforgiving sky.

Overhead, a hungry gull drifted in for a closer look.

07.

The man who’d shared her post - his name was Meech, and he’d been there nearly a year when Elnora came along.

She’d liked him well enough. He was older, and very jaded, and sometimes ranted about how they were being abandoned to die alone on the sea. But he’d also been very gentle, and had a lot of poetry memorized, and he taught her how to knit.

The day before Meech’s year-mark a missive came over the computer: he’d have to stay a little longer, terribly sorry, shortage of staffing, etc. Elnora had sent back a very indignant message on his behalf - it was most unprofessional to not even ask his consent before extending his assignment, or even tell him when his new end date would be! - but Meech sank into quiet resignation. He started keeping odd hours after that, and Elnora often caught him in the middle of the night staring out at the sea.

One morning she had woken to the sound of screaming, or maybe weeping; it seemed somewhere between absolute agony and ecstatic exultation. She never found out what it was, only saw the end results: a swarm of sirens clustered in the shallows, a froth of red that had once been her friend Meech.

08.

The siren came to in the large metal tub that Elnora used to bathe, filled with saltwater that had been hauled inside bucket by bucket and was currently pooling on the worn-down wooden floor.

It blinked its big fishy eyes, which Elnora didn’t like at all.

“I live,” it said, sounding neither pleased nor displeased about this.

“For now,” Elnora said. “I didn’t know you could speak.”

“Unsurprising. There are hardly any things that your kind knows.” The siren looked around with idle curiosity, curling its wormy lip. “You live like this?”

“Shut up. As if you have it any better, living in the ocean.”

The siren looked at its side, the place where it had been gouged wide open, and pressed a tender hand to the wound. The noise it made was somewhere between pleasure and pain, entirely satisfaction. “Mmm. Yes. Mother Sea dragged me across the rocks last night, as punishment for being careless. Silly me, bad siren.”

“What do you mean, being careless?”

“Too close to shore when the storm came. Too distracted trying to watch my favorite shoregirl.” The siren flashed her a smile like a shark’s, all cruel sharp teeth.

“Oh, no,” Elnora said firmly. “I know how you work, getting in people’s heads. It’s not going to work on me.”

“And yet you saved me.”

“Yes. I did.”

09.

After Meech died she’d had a cat for about a week.

It was a pathetic-looking stray - hardly anyone had the money to spend on keeping animals anymore - with patchy black and white fur and one eye missing. It almost certainly had fleas, and maybe worms. Elnora had no reason to believe she’d be able to requisition medicine to care for it, let alone proper food, but she started letting herself fantasize about keeping it around all the same. She started spending hours sitting still so that it would feel safe enough to approach her, and toying with ideas for different names.

Of course that all came to an end when the poor creature tried to eat something that had washed up out of the sea. Elnora screamed and chased it away, but it was no good - she found it the next day stiff and dead, covered in flies, having apparently choked on its own vomit.

She buried it far into the sand dunes, having walked so far that she could hardly hear the waves, determined not to let the sea have it in death.

10.

“Your wound is looking better,” Elnora said that evening, after a long day of stubbornly ignoring the siren. Every few hours she’d splash a fresh bucket of saltwater into the tub, but she always averted her eyes when she did.

The siren stretched out in an indecently suggestive way, looking quite pleased with itself. “Rest and relaxation. All thanks to you, kind shoregirl.”

“Shut up.”

Elnora awkwardly set up the privacy screen that had gone unused since Meech’s death, fumbling out of her clothing and into her bed clothes behind it. She felt twice as clumsy as usual, sweating as she fretted that the siren might somehow be able to see right through the flimsy barrier.

“Shall I sing you to sleep?” the siren cooed, inhuman voice mocking. “Oh, please, let me do something kind for you. A little token of my gratitude!”

“You will not,” Elnora said, but she may as well have told the sun not to rise or the sea not to be deep and dark and full of things eager to kill.

The siren sang through the night with a voice eerie and inhuman, a sound meant to carry miles through the water. Instead it reverberated over and over against the inside of Elnora’s skull, sinking her into a clammy slumber of twilight dreams. She was startled to find herself blinking awake in the morning after sleeping through the night for the first time in months, feeling oddly raw.

“Good morning,” said the siren, smirking at her a few feet away. “Sleep well?”

“Mind your own business,” said Elnora, ignoring the throbbing between her thighs and hurrying to check the drone delivery pad.

Another day without fresh rations.

11.

On the beach at the end of the world there was a road, and that road had led straight to the drafty cottage where Elnora dwelt.

There had been a truck that carried supplies once, driven by a handsome young woman with short-cropped hair and calloused hands and the most terribly kind eyes Elnora had ever seen. The driver always stayed a little longer than she needed to, even though that could get her pay docked, and even started smuggling out cheap romance paperbacks after she learned Elnora liked them.

The driver had mentioned once that more and more trucks were being replaced with drones, and she said it with the kind of forced casualty that signaled she was deeply, terribly afraid. Elnora asked her what she would do if she lost her job to automation.

“Go south and fight the wildfires, probably,” the driver said with a shrug. “It’s crap work - ruins your body - but it’s what most of my family does anyway. And somebody has to do it. It’s all hypothetical, though. They won’t replace us, though. Your deliveries are too heavy, it’s too impractical to use a drone.”

That wasn’t the last time Elnora saw her; that would be too bitterly, perfectly ironic. Months passed, the truck came every two weeks like clockwork, and they both forgot about that conversation entirely.

Until one day a drone came in her place, without even giving Elnora a chance to say goodbye.

#wrote something #i think this is the happiest i've ever been with this story

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illfoandillfie · 4 years ago

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Your readings are always on point, last you made for me helped a LOT ...things are getting kinda better but not completely...but we're getting there. One thing I can't seem to do in the right way is love & relationships. I can't go outside a lot so I tried online dating but after a week or two they all started to ghost me or I'm having a general bad luck.

So what I'm asking here is a general love reading, because I truly don't understand what's going on 😔

im glad to hear things have been getting a little better for you darl, hopefully that means they’ll be turning around properly soon! Here’s you’re love reading, i hope it helps!

tarot: 9 of wands, 2 of swords, 5 of swords, page of pentacles, 9 of wands, temperance, 5 of swords, 7 of cups, the sun

okay so, we got a few double up cards here which is very interesting. The likelihood of the same card coming out in the same position from two different decks is so tiny and yet it happened twice here! The first time is with the 9 of wands, so something about this card is Important. The 9 of wands is about resilience, strength in adversity, and success after setbacks. Obviously, things have been kind of rough lately, in general from the sounds of your message, but also specifically related to romance and your love life. That’s what this card is about but it’s also saying that, though things might feel hard how, if you keep pushing and keep trying and hold out a bit longer, things can get better. This card is related to delays and obstacles but it can all be overcome with a little time and resilience.

The next card is the 2 of swords which is about difficult choices. The suit of swords is related to the mind and our thoughts so this card is talking about an internal conflict of sorts. It’s likely about indecision or feeling uncertain about where you’re headed in regards to love or why things haven’t been working out for you so far. But Temperance is a card of patience. She’s a symbol of moderation and self-control and maintaining an inner balance. Interestingly Temperance can also represent unfulfilled desires which sounds pretty on point. Basically these cards are telling you not to worry about it too much and not to do anything rash to try and force something to happen faster. Go with the flow and let situations develop naturally. If a guy you were talking to blows you off or ghosts you then he wasn’t the right guy. You can’t control the actions of other people but you can work on yourself, keep yourself balanced and calm. That might mean managing your expectations about the next guy you talk to so that you don’t end up disappointed, or it might mean taking some time to think about exactly what you want and why. Whatever you do, be patient.

Our third column is where we have our second repeated card: the 5 of swords. This is an interesting card to come out here. On one hand the 5 of swords is about unbridled ambition and a win-at-all-costs type of mentality. Like, when you want something so bad you don’t care who you have to push out of the way to get it. It’s the sort of ambition that creates conflict. And related to that is a kind of self-involved energy where your so wrapped up in your own shit that you don’t really notice the people around you. But then on the other hand this card can be about persistence and having greater self knowledge - learning from mistakes and learning from hardship. I think bits of both messages are relevant. Persistence is definitely a similar message to what we got from Temperance and the 9 of wands. Don’t give up completely but also be aware that this shit takes time and things can’t change overnight. But before I get into the relevance of the other message lets look at that extra card.

The third card in this column is the 7 of cups which is a card about daydreams and fantasies. I think this card really emphasises that sort of self-involved aspect of the 5 of swords. Sometimes it’s easier to live in our fantasies, to spend our time daydreaming about what we want from a partner without thinking about what we bring to the table. Okay, you want a partner who works out but not so much that it’s all they talk about and they offer to mow the lawn because they know you hate doing it and on weekends they cook pancakes for breakfast and they’re well groomed and tidy and always floss and remember to wash their ass but they’re not the sort to go crazy over a little mess and they’re a good shag and like to make you laugh and whatever else might be on your IDEAL PARTNER shopping list. But what would you bring to the relationship? What vibes do you have? What work are you doing on yourself? What makes you a good partner? Why should anyone consider dating you? Daydreams and fantasies can be self-involved as fuck and it’s dangerous to live in them for too long because you lose sight of what real people are like and you forget that relationships are work and you can’t pick and choose a person’s qualities and you have to give as much as you take. And that is why that 5 of swords card is there.

Finally we have our page of pentacles. The page of pentacles symbolises ambition, desire and diligence. He’s thoughtful and introspective and learning how to be himself. Kind of romantic and very playful and goofy. The page could represent you or someone else - either someone you know or (more likely in my opinion) someone you’ll meet, possibly a potential partner. He’s being clarified by the Sun card which is pure positivity and happiness. Which is why I’m inclined to say he’s a potential romantic partner. Pages can also represent messages so it’s possible you’ll meet this person through a dating app and they’ll message you or at least respond favourably to your messages. Being a Page this person might be a little younger than you or a little less experienced/mature. It could also be that they’re a student as the page of pentacles is related to study and scholarship. Whoever this person is they’re likely someone who you can be happy with and with whom you can build a positive relationship.

Now onto your oracles:

from the believe in your own magic deck: Confidence - it comes with time and practice

This is definitely tied to those messages we got about things taking time to happen. It can be hard to feel confident and to keep believing that something will happen when things don’t seem to be going in your favour but don’t give up! fake it until you make it if you have to.

Your love oracle is Marie Antoinette. This card has 3 pieces of advice - one for one night stands, one for long term relationships, and one for family/friends. I’ll give you all three though because you might find more than one feel relevant or speak to you in some way but if things don’t resonate then don’t worry about them, those messages aren’t for you.

So Marie Antoinette says: Be the dessert not the entrée // No man is worth losing your head over // See all, hear all, love all, forget all.

To me that second one really fits in with the messages from the tarot. The idea of not worrying about people who don’t bother to respond to your messages. They’re not worth thinking or worrying about and they don’t reflect your self-worth.

Your heart card says: Don’t make decisions based on guilt or what you think you should do, for it is only in being true to yourself that you can be true to others.

This could relate to that indecision that the 2 of swords spoke of. If you’re contemplating connecting with someone without being really sure you want to, this is a sign not to bother. Don’t do something if you don’t feel right about it. And don’t try to lie to yourself because you know the truth. This could also tie into that 5 of swords/7 of cups energy in regards to being honest to yourself about what you could bring to a relationship.

From the Spellcasting deck we have: Good Luck

Lucky energy surrounds you and your luck is going to change soon. This is an invitation to step away from negative outlooks and grab opportunities with both hands. This could also indicate that keeping an eye out for synchronicities and meaningful coincidences in your life that may herald the change of luck (eg: hearing a specific song on the radio at key times, seeing your lucky number at random).

And finally you have 2 cards from the secret garden deck: Weed (don’t tolderate less than you deserve) and Self-care (tend to your garden).

Weed is definitely related to those messages of persistence and resilience. Keep looking for what you want and don’t settle for people who don’t respect you or treat you right. If they ghost you then make them vanish from your mind because they just aren’t worth it. Self-care is a pretty obvious one I think but a nice note to end on. Look after yourself. Do things that make you happy, protect your heart.

#card readings

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