#at this point i was just a sobbing mess
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST REIGEN!!
everyone thanks you for entering their lives :')
#i like making reigen sob his ass off... hes an ugly crier for sure#the balloons were each drawn by the three of them tee hee#dont think i have to say this but plz dont...tag *yknow what ship* ...not trying to spark a fire im a bit worried of ppl misinterpreting?#mob is very dear to reigen their bond is extraordinary... i feel like a peck on the cheek would be normal to them yknow what i mean#i dont see them necessarily as father and son but more like brothers/cousins/family friends... but more complex i suppose#the point is that they saved each other so a kiss on the cheek as a thank you would make sense!#also once again this looks like serirei art but it isnt... im not capable of making them not look gay am i... good god im a mess!#im just glad i finished something for his bday i wouldve kicked the shit outta myself for missing it#actually i did a bit of the reigenweek prompts let me finish some of those... i got the reigen bug lately and draw him lots :)#my art#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#shigeo kageyama#serizawa katsuya#ekubo
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★ 019 // “Tears” I finished SBR last night. There’s a lot I could say, but I will leave you all with this anecdotal story:
About a month ago, I had left off right before the Love Train arc. I was cleaning out my basement sifting through my childhood belongings and decided to take an edible to help pass the time.
I’m used to Weird Shit happening while high. Inspiration, laughs, revelation. However this particular time I had a strong… vision of sorts. I’m not sure what to call it, all I knew was that it was some kind of dreamlike thought that did not come from me consciously, and it felt very real.
Johnny crawls to my feet, sobbing hard. Words are spilling out of his mouth, but he only mutters the same thing over and over again.
“I’m so sorry.”
I don’t understand.
“Sorry for what?”
He can barely talk amidst his tears. “Something bad is gonna happen. Something painful that might hurt you.”
The following words slip out of my mouth so effortlessly that it would make me question if they even were my own, maybe they were God’s.
“Johnny, no matter what happens: good, bad, or ugly, I want to be right there with you together on this adventure, always. No future pain could ever change that.”
I do not regret my decision at all.
Thank you for taking me on this adventure, Johnny. Let’s keep going, together.
#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#steel ball run#sbr#johnny joestar#steel ball run spoilers#tools used:#bristol paper#blue pilot G2 pen#my actual honest to God tears#This was not supposed to be today's Johnny. I was actually supposed to make a birthday cake for myself! (birthday is on the 23rd!)#But I have been a MESS all day. Nonstop crying. To the point where I would just break down sobbing in front of family at my party LMAO.#So I decided to instead lean into my emotions for this one. Quite literally. I have to express how I feel right? That's art baby.#(I'm fine btw. I just think reading the ending to SBR the day before my period was a cocktail for a massive crying spell LOL)#(Lots of sad tears. But also a lot of profoundly beautiful and miraculous ones too. :] )#shrineofferings
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I'm going feral again with a silly headcanon.
I just had that post on how Odysseus made Puzzles for himself and Penelope and I have another idea and I'm just really excited to share it lksdjf
I basically plan to have this man in love with Penelope within 10 mins (I HAVE A PLAN! It sounds crazy but I think it'll work. Plus these two are reckless and young when married. His first crush and he's not handling it well.)
This is them. Or at the very least Penelope is definitely playing it off very nonchalantly and is kind of messing around at first, thinking that the "trickster" is "not being genuine" when he's never been more genuine in his life. She can see right through all his lies and bullshit and basically forces him to be vulnerable, something he loves yet is TERRIFIED of. Especially as she "unmasked" him so quickly (and tricked HIM.😉 Won't say how. no spoilers yet) and so effortlessly and he's just a MESS. Athena isn't helping and just watches them both fumble around, even when Odysseus is asking for some guidance, Athena just smiles and is all like "I'm the Goddess of Wisdom, not of Love. Figure it out yourself." (PENELOPE IS JUST AS MUCH OF A BLORBO TO HER AS ODYSSEUS IS, YOU COWARDS!)
(Art by isei-silva right here on tumblr! Their post! )
I won't go into huge details. I WILL write this fic someday and I need to leave SOME things a surprise. But KNOW this man will be pulling out all the stops trying to impress her and tries to show all the things he's good at and one will be his "puzzle making".
He'll bring a puzzle to her TRYING to talk all "suave" (he'll be semi-tongue tied. Something that he's not used to and is annoyed that he can't seem to think around her)
It'll probably have a little gift inside and he'll be chatting away about how he worked hard to make it and that there's a trick to it and blah blah blah
Penelope: Oh! There's (some sort of treat or gift) inside!
Odysseus: Wait, you solved it already?
Penelope,🤨: Yes. All you have to do is this.
Odysseus, falling (more like sprinting at this point) further in love but also mad his plan to woo her didn't work: Well... Yeah. That's a gift for you.
He's trying SOOOO hard but he has to stop "showboating" to genuinely impress her. Man has to be fucking vulnerable for her to be impressed by him because she already can read his "tells" on when he's pulling something. No more "tricks". Be yourself, you fucking idiot >:D
#uygfidhsojhf I revealed a LOT already but I just??? I really love writing this man being a fucking mess and not knowing what to do#for once in his life. The man who “always has a plan” now DOESN'T know what to do and he's all feelings right now.#And Penelope has no time for tricks (unless she's the one pulling one). They've both met their match (in practically everything. Likeminded#remember?) and they're both excited and scared because#I'm a trickster. He/She is just like me. I desperately want this to be real but I know how good I am at tricking people. What if this is a#lie?“ BOTH have to stop ”tricking“ in order to truly bond. And then I get into the nitty gritty >:D#Like how Odysseus has to be vulnerable and sob about their bed to get her to believe it's him. They did the same in their youth.#It's a PATTERN for them at this point.#I love making this man simp and her realizing that this “trickster” IS genuine. This man actually loves her and that there's no “game”.#then it's HER turn to be a mess >:D#odypen#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#Hi. I'm vibrating from excitement and I don't know what to do.
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genuine question, do you like maths?? i have a vague feeling i saw your post of tags or something that said something about it but i cannot figure out if it was in fact you or if it was even positive ahahah
Yeah that was me! I don't go looking for math problems, but when I happen to do them, I tend to enjoy it. Wasn't always this way — elementary school math was about speed and memorization and I hated that — but I had a really good teacher in upper secondary school, and it became about creative problem solving. It feels the same as writing a poem in meter or managing to untangle a really bad knot in a ball of yarn.
#i can't do math in my head or memorize formulas#and i'm not precise‚ which is bad for questions that are only numbers. like. 5+6=? type of stuff#because if all you need to is write the final answer‚ then if that answer is wrong‚ youve failed. don't get the points for the exam question#but! upper secondary school math! my beloved! (specifically lyhyt matikka‚ idk what pitkä is like)#there's a book that has all the formulas in it and you can use it and look them up even during exams. no memorization#it doesn't explain *how* the formulas are used but still#and there was more time than there ever was in my previous schools. and finishing fast did not mean you were better. i could take my time#and there were so many... worded questions? like instead of pure numbers they present the problem to you in words. phrases. prose#here is a situation. solve it#and you get to choose HOW to solve it#sometimes i could not remember how a formula worked‚ or hadn't quite figured out a recently taught technique yet#and i just. figured out a different way to solve the problem#can't remember the answer to 5x8? let's count 5+5+5+5+5+5+5+5 instead#38/7? lets draw 38 little balls in the margin and separate them into groups of 7 and see how many there are and how many strays get left out#like that but applied to lots of stuff#and it was enougj! it was fine! it was a valid way to solve it! i got the right answer!#unless i messed something up! a + turned into a - by accident somewhere in the middle of the equation#but! part of this level of math was that it was encouraged to write our whole thought process down#and i‚ unable to do it off the paper anyway#i wrote down ALL OF IT#and the teacher saw where i went wrong and that it was little precision things but that i had the techniques down and#i still got most of the points for those questions instead of losing everything because of an incorrect number at the end#these differences have meant everything#math is puzzles. puzzles can be fun#some of my first memories of math class are of me sobbing under my desk#i cried a few tears in all my matriculation exams too‚ even for my favourite subjects. but not math#one of the most important questions was a geometry one. i shine in that area#i grinned doing it
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"bad decisions, that's alright; look, i'm still alive"
#&juliet#if you saw the old version of this... no you didn't#anyway. &j posting now... made this into what i like to call a public transport wip#in which painting on phone with fingers commences! usually it happens to doodles that get coloured and i want to clean up#idk about the colours here though... that said it's a livable error#smth smth reminders to not feel so scared... many many paths.#be less afraid of messing up? just live life? many many paths#one of my key takeaways from this show was along those lines#sobs.. if that isn't the premise of the musical huh? juliet is so young and has her whole life ahead to live...#still so much ahead of her- so what if she Didn't kill herself?#<holds tightly> many routes. many routes. i am young and have my life yet to be lived.#also this comes from the joint bit near the end where angelique sings to juliet#!! also just realised that the nurse and juliet's hairstyles parallel each other... such a cute detail..#// sometimes the stuff i make is really just because the themes resonate at this specific point in life..#i think it's getting more self-specific! tbh every time i catch myself creating for Myself specifically i go <333
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Gency stuff!
How I imagine a proposal would go
I think it would be really funny it's almost no one knew that Angela and Genji were a couple until they were engaged. People like Cassidy, Lena, rein, (once they joined OverWatch) kiriko and Hanzo would have known and would have known about Genji planning on proposing. But everyone else either never noticed because they weren't very obvious about it, like they didn't do much PDA, and their version of flirting when I'm front of people could easily be mistaken for making fun of each other. Or because they just never picked up on it at all.
Genji probably planned a whole dinner at a restaurant and a whole romantic thing but either in the middle of the dinner right before he was about to ask or right before they left for the dinner and emergency happens and theyre call out to a mission. And once they successfully neutralize the threat and their back on the ship surrounded by their teammates/friends, after Cassidy says something about feeling bad for them that their plans didn't end up happening/got ruined. Genji just goes "you know what screw it", took off his helmet, and proceeds to get down on one knee in front of Angela and give a mini speech proposal that he learned in German just to make it more special(Rein found out genji's plans because he asked if he could help Genji learn to say what he wanted to say I'm German). Angela says yes (even though it was hard to make out through the ugly sobbing) and full on kissed genji as he picks her up and does a cute little spin thing, with everyone on the ship either cheering and celebrating or being in total confusion and shock because they didn't even know the two were together to begin with. So half of them are just jaw dropped, happy but jaw dropped.
For an added little extra bit of drama, Pharah had no idea Genji and mercy were thing and had been a thing for ages now, Angela never told her. And it clicks why mercy did not reciprocate feelings, but still in just such shock that she wasn't told and this is how she found out. She just kind of frozen in place staring blankly at the two with her mouth hanging open.
And back to happy happy, after Genji said screw it Cassidy realized what he was about to do and pulled out his phone or got Lena to pull out hers and made sure to record everything for them.
Additionally this was one of the first times a majority of people in that room had seen genji's face, obviously Hanzo and kiriko had seen his face before same with Angela. But even Cassidy hadnt fully seen his face, as even when in black watch they worked really closely together, if Genji wasn't wearing his metal mask he was still wearing like a surgical mask or something. All the old OverWatch members had only really seen his eyes ,excluding Angela, so with shocking for them but not as much as all the newbies. this was the first time seeing his face at all, haven't even seen his eyes at this point,so it was extra shocking.
#gency#overwatch#genji#overwatch 2#genji shimada#mercy#angela ziegler#cole cassidy#proposal#they are so cute#Angela's just happy crying so hard that all of her words are a slurred mumbled mess#and Genji doesn't fully understand at first if she's saying yes until she kisses him#he just assumes that's a yes#even makes a joke about it after saying so I assume that's a yes?#does Angela still sobbing just starts nodding#Genji would be holding back tears as well at this point#like he doesn't cry much because of the whole ninja thing he was kind of made to repress his emotions#but in that moment it felt like getting hit by a truck of emotions and he is trying so hard not to ball his eyes out
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argggghhhhhhhuuuhhhhhhhggghhhh
#rant#predicament: if i never became obsessed with nicole rafee i would have never heard her talk about ocd and then i would have never been like#oh shit i might have ocd and let that seep into every crack in my brain and now it controls my every thought#like all my thoughts were going through a perspective warp sieve and everything everyone's ever said to me like i was already over analyzing#everything but now the idea that that's a problem that doesn't have to be a problem has messed me up man like i think i'm having ocd about#ocd and it's not fun man but it's chill ig i hate it here i wish i didn't enjoy her content so much and that i wasn't obsessed with her#godddddd#new year's resolution: i don't have ocd and i am a new person who's carefree and fun loving#daily affirmation: i don't have ocd x10 every morning in the mirror#i will manifest the anxiety away and be a messier person who doesn't even care about authority one bit#like pshhhh idek that i have no control over my roommate situation pshahhhh dude like whateverrr be messy in the kitchen it's not like i#care if we get a roach infestation 🤪 peace and love man#i'm a sane and not paranoid person i am normal about every situation ever and it's awesome#i am not loosing sleep over maybe having a different cancer every night bc that's something a crazy person would do#but also i low key think i had / have covid since like last tuesday but subtly and slightly#i wish i would stop researching things i don't want to research anymore (looking up everything about ocd on ever website created since awol)#it's cool though it's all groove and fine but i would rather invest this time in synthia synthia but it's cool and whatev#this is my secret diary bc journaling has only ever made me feel worse#i can do scary drawings that allude to my mental state but writing about it depresses me to the point of sobs and it's literally not that#deep man like it's just anxiety and people deal with that everyday i just gotta get over it too like them#like normal man jim and his wife betty i gotta through more tupperware parties#merry christmas 🎠
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thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i
#(sobbing and crying and snotting everywhere) AERITH GAVE HER SOMEONE TO CONFIDE IN ON SUCH A TUMULTUOUS JOURNEY#SOMEONE SHE COULD BE AS CLOSE TO FULLY RELAXED AS POSSIBLE#SOMEONE TO GOSSIP WITH OR SHARE HER CONCERNS OR JUST. BE A NORMAL GIRL WITH#YUFFIE'S THERE BUT SHE'S JUST A KID AND TIFA WOULD NEVER WANT TO HARM THE AIR OF CAREFREE CHILDISHNESS SHE MANAGES TO MAINTAIN EVEN IF#ITS BECAUSE YUFFIE IS HIDING THINGS THAT ARE CRUSHING HER#but poor tifa . gentle tifa. is now left to regret. to blame herself.#she has barret who acts like a father figure to her sure - but despite how much she cares about him and values her frienship with him#he's not aerith. he's not someone she can just gossip about first loves with. not someone she can fully Relate to. if you get what i mean#she is left to trace back the thread of how poor aerith got caught in this mess#she was the one to ask aerith to save marlene. but how did they get there? aerith refused to let cloud be a bystander in wall market#how did that happen? she made a risky choice that put her in a position where their paths crossed. why? because cloud was briefly lost#during the bombing mission. why did the bombing mission happen? she couldn't stop it. ETC ETC#NONE OF IT WAS HER FAULT... BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO DRAG INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO THIS AT ANY SINGLE POINT#AND NOW SOMEONE WHO QUICKLY BECAME A CLOSE FRIEND IS GONE oh lord my heart#all of this added onto the things like how alone she was in nibelheim... it was just her and her dad for some years after the boys all left#and then the Incident happens and she loses that last person she had... and to an extent another she didn't even know was right there(cloud#god i could talk about her and how she has suffered more than jesus for ages (happy easter. lmao)#FF7 Rebirth spoilers#just in case?? for anyone who's only playing the remakes i guess. since this was basically already there the remakes just elaborate on it#i think about 'we found you!' 'i guess you did!' SO OFTEN#these two girls mean the world to me and i will not let you reduce them to love interest rivals#when tifa ran over to aerith's body i think everyone in the world heard my heart shattering into dust#these thoughts are a bit disjointed and don't articulate well what i mean but god. god. i am thinking about her today
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#psyching myself up to try and watch the new series of heartstopper#I don't make a lot of personal posts these days and it feels easier to talk about this in the tags for some reason now - like I'm whisperin#but series 2 absolutely wrecked me in a way that is not entirely healthy#isaac's storyline is just a bit too close to home for me and I became a bawling mess every single time he was on screen#and not in a cathartic way. in a like I am dredging up the trauma of growing up aroace without having fully come to terms with it yet way.#I've come such a long way with slowly starting to feel pride in being aroace even in just the last few months#that I wondered if I'd actually be fine with it this time. I even considered rewatching s2 in preparation. turns out I'm not fine.#I watched a recap of s2 to try and remember what happened and uhhhh that clip of isaac rejecting that love interest in the bookshop#(with the novel loveless blurry in the background) has already brought up emotions.#then I thought I'd scroll some spoilers in his character tag just to prepare myself for what would happen with him this season#and just reading posts (mild spoilers here) about him being proudly aroace have sent me into paroxysms of sobbing yet again so....#I've honestly come such a long way in the last few years and the last few months. I'm even talking about it on tumblr now.#but I guess most of my work on that front has been accepting the present and the future of not having or wanting a partner.#whereas there's still a lifetime of trauma from the way it made me feel in the past#both growing up feeling alienated and having no idea what was different about me and the extent to which I tried to make it not be true#for years after first having an inkling of it being a possibility. I would have done anything to make myself alloromantic.#(the realisation of asexuality came later and was more of a 'huh I guess that makes sense' thing lol)#and even though I no longer want to change this fact about who I am#I guess I'm more traumatised by it all than I consciously realised. genuinely thought I'd be fine at this point.#anyway ramble over. I'm actually not sure if I should watch the new season or not. will it be helpful to work through the emotions?#or just re-traumatise me? felt more like the latter last time so hmmm.#guess I'm going to have to think about it.#it feels ridiculous that such a fluffy show - in which the character in question is pretty minor - should provoke such a reaction#but there you go#mine#tag chat#personal
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me last week: man i have no idea what i'm going to do for nanowrimo
me now, after getting extensive beta feedback on my wip: i guess i'm rewriting last year's fic
#sob... the endwalker fic is a Mess.#to the point that i may need to start from scratch#ive been stuck on this fic SO LONG i just want to be done with it#but alas..... alas.#ficblogging
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activity may take a slight dip this weekend; i'm trying to finish up everything for school, but i'll absolutely be around this evening!
#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#tbd .#( i have more asks for that relationship meme i'm absolutely BUZZING with excitement to get to DSJKK i'm bribing myself w/ them )#( everything in this class is due on the 17th and the teacher hasn't uploaded anything since march 29th H E L P M E )#( the grading criteria changed but i don't know what i actually have to do because the grade sheet he has uploaded is old --#and assignments are listed with different names in different places )#( so i'm just crossing my fingers i'm doing the right work JJKSVS )#( i know at one point we're supposed to have the choice between two different assignments but he only uploaded the proper --#instructions for one so i guess that's the one i have to do sobs )#( ok ok mini rant over i have no idea why the computer science department at my school is such a mess )
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my body does this fun thing where if anyone asks me if i’m feeling alright it just bursts into tears and refuses to stop
#it’s so stupid i hate it#like i promise i am fine I AM FINE i know i don’t look like it because i’m a sobbing mess right now but i don’t actually feel that bad#like even if i was feeling bad at this point i’m just annoyed because this has been going on for minutes now and i really want it to be over#and like i get that people want to be nice but it would seriously help me way more if they listened to me when i say i’m feeling fine lmao#anyways ha ha fun times everyone
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The Animals || "Please Send Me Someone To Love"
The Animals' album Before We Were So Rudely Interrupted was released on this day in 1977!!
#would've been released earlier if chas hadn't forgotten about it lol#anyway eeee enjoy The Animals!!!!!!! not sure of the show this came from since its info isn't featured in the description of the video#you'll never guess what connie's favorite part of the video is 😐#(yes it's alan's solo and the way eric points at him when it begins and the way eric looks at him in the middle of it)#(and alan in general with the lights settling on his face)#this whole album is just... aAAAAA COMFORT#i would've uploaded the other version of this song bUT the audio is super messed up in that version so i might try and manually fix it firs#aNYWAY. EEEE ANIMALS.#been listening to this album alllllll morning.....#the animals#classic rock#eric burdon#alan price#hilton valentine#chas chandler#john steel#the girl can't help it#video#alan at the beginning is just.... aGggGHG G H SOBBING
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That moment when you're not doing well but don't want to discuss it with your family or friends but instead let strangers on the internet know.
#tw mental health#nice strangers tho mostly :)#and friends#didn't know whati was gonna say bc it's basically trivial thigns but all heaved up just made me break again#meh#just lemme survive#and now some comfort movie#hehe you know the one#don't care i'll be in bed late#at least i'll be in bed not being a sobbing mess#which is a great improvement#tbh I did mention one point to my sister and that starte the spiral bc she kept firing back thigns i do wrong#which was#exactly what i needed#ughh#there was so much i wanted to do but now I can't evne tho i want to#fuck my mental health#i might actually go see a pychologist nw#just that i get a diagonsis and my family will take it serious#or to get coping mechanisms or suff
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This being the last thing in Tyme's 4mins timeline/limbo speaks a lot to me personally, as well as a fan of their series, as well as a closeted π
I don't want to work my shift. Easy. Then don't go. Hey, as my boyfriend, you'll have to understand my job's demands. I'm just kidding. No need to be all serious.
#crying a river#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#tymegreat#glad to have found dr tyme at this point in my life#greattyme#great x tyme#tyme x great#thai bl#this grown ass man just wanted a regular non toxic non mafia life with his childhood acquaintance turned boyfriend man#and he got that only in limbo space timeline#scrodingers cat series#im glad they got out alive and pursued whatever they didnt get it right at the first time be it dating or smoking#life doesnt give second chances to everyone even in fiction but glad these two are having a greattyme#im still a sobbing mess when i think about 4 mintues
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i personally hated tkk3 for no reason other than my irrational hatred terry silver
#angel rambles🎀#once he got introduced to cobra kai i was like 🙁 cmon dude#i know that's probably like the point of his character: to be hated#but i cannot help it#not even a sob story would make me somewhat feel bad/understand him#like kreese was bad too but i understand with war veterans they're like incredibly messed up#so was terry but idk something about terry just makes me so mad#i try to skip most scenes w him bc i just can't stand that man holy shit#also in general i just didnt like kk3 😭#kk2 will forever be my fav tbh
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