#at the very least she was shaving simons hair while he slept to give him a bald spot so she could rub it while they fuck

[grahamkennedy]

My Mack and Jody playlist is almost five hours long

[faejilly]

i am for you (10/?)

This chapter brought to you by that time I accidentally left Sucker on loop on Spotify for like three days. idk why either, that’s all I’ve got tho 

***

[misfit group mms]

[tessa]: oh, it's nice to be home on a Friday night [tessa]: I love the ALA con but my pajamas are so much more comfortable

[dot]: says you and Ragnor, maybe. The rest of you got any plans? I've got itchy feet but I can't decide what I want to do or where to go

[magnus]: you always have itchy feet

[dot]: you're one to talk

[cat]: so you're crowdsourcing for ideas?

[dot]: why not?

[cat]: Sorry, I have to work a double tomorrow, I'm with Tessa. Tea and putting my feet up, that's the life

[magnus]: Alexander and I are going dancing.

[cat]: I can see your giddy smile from here, you've got it bad

[magnus]: Yes, I do

[raphael]: you've had worse taste, I must admit

[magnus]: was that a compliment?

[raphael]: he's not a total idiot. He has a sense of humor, too

[tessa]: what [tessa]: did you make a joke? One someone else could recognize rather than one where you laughed at them in your head? And then he GOT IT? [tessa]: Magnus, your boy's magical, I can't wait to meet him

[magnus]: not today, sorry darling

[dot]: oh we know. Have fun

[magnus]: so much fun

[raphael]: please don't give us the details

[magnus]: just for that, you're getting pictures tonight [magnus]: so many pictures [magnus]: every possible outfit combination [magnus]: every menu item I consider for dinner [magnus]: every step in line on the way to the club

[raphael]: why are you such an asshole

[magnus]: but I'll stop once we get inside [magnus]: because I love you

[dot]: or because Pandemonium uses those weird spotlights and strobes so most pics look terrible

[cat]: oh no, it's because Magnus will be too busy admiring Alec

[raphael]: never thought I'd be thankful for Magnus' libido

[magnus]: harsh. I'll have you know he has a beautiful soul

[dot]: you're not going to a club to grind against Alec's *soul*

[cat]: apparently he can multi-task. Enjoy his soul, pretty eyes, and how he moves his hips?

[magnus]: stop objectifying my boyfriend [magnus]: or wait 'til he can hear you so I can at least enjoy him blushing

[cat]: ah, young love

[magnus]: you're the same age I am

[cat]: but I'm not in love, thank god, it sounds exhausting

[magnus]: bah humbug?

[ragnor]: exactly [ragnor]: But I also have plans, actually. Quieter ones.The observatory's doing a talk on the Lyrids, and then they're having a midnight picnic while we see how well they show up

[dot]: oooh. Can I come?

[ragnor]: if you can get here in half an hour, it's a bit of a drive to the site. Have to get far enough out of town to avoid the worst of the light pollution

[dot]: on it

[magnus]: hmmm, I have to start planning my photo montage [magnus]: you're gonna love it, Raphael [magnus]: you should get a new SD card [magnus]: so you can save them ALL

[cat]: I'm so sorry, Raphael

[magnus]: OH. IT'S ON. YOU'RE GETTING THEM TOO

[cat]: ohnomyphone'sdyingwhatwasthat

[tessa]: have fun, children. And Ragnor.

***

[maia]: Alec's here. With Magnus. Dancing. In public. Holy shit Magnus can dance. Alec's not bad, but wow. WOW.

[simon]: why are you telling me this when I can't come &see it for myself? That's just mean

[maia]: so you can tell Becky and she can give you that look that she does when she doesn't believe you? Because that look's hilarious

[simon]: you are a cruel woman

[maia]: you're just jealous Becky likes me better

[simon]: Everyone likes you better. You are objectively the best, I am proud of everyone for liking you better.

[maia]: awww. That was really sweet you big dork

[simon]: 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[maia]: less sweet, more dork

[simon]: hey, at least I didn't try and make long-stemmed rose emojis for you [simon]: that'd be a bit much

[maia]: SPEAKING OF A BIT MUCH [maia]: I think there's glitter in Alec's hair. From Magnus' ... Everything?

[simon]: WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS? I hate Pandemonium's lighting, I can't even ask you to get pics, they never come out

[maia]: well Lydia's seen Alec do this before, apparently, the dancing at least if not the glitter, and Clary's right here staring at them with me, and I can't very well tell Izzy or Jace, they're all stuck in *wait are we supposed to worry about him now?* mode and it's clearly very confusing for them that their big brother is his own person and has sex. Possibly a lot of sex? Alec and Magnus are very close together with this dancing thing. [maia]: They're really hot, babe

[simon]: I'm your last choice? AND you're telling me other boys are hot? I'm hurt

[maia]: no you're not, you know I love you (and you also know they're hot)

[simon]: I do, don't I? Love you too.

[maia]: were you agreeing with both of those?

[simon]: obviously [simon]: I can get away with that 'cause he's not actually my brother and also I know you'll never tell him I said that because you like me enough not to want me to be QUITE that mortified [simon]: aw shit, you'd totally tell Becky or Clary tho. Please don't tell Becky & Clary

[maia]: I'll consider it 😏 [maia]: Clary's probably safe. She seems really weirded out by Alec's date-behavior. Pointing out that we both already knew he was hot might make her head explode. [maia]: do you think it's because she thinks of Alec as a brother or just because he's so *Alec* iykwim?

[simon]: probably both. Clary's good at multi-tasking her emotions

[maia]: Was that a compliment or an insult?

[simon]: no idea [simon]: and Bubbie's back, gotta go. She did want to know if you're still good for Shabbat next week?

[maia]: course. Tell her I'll bring the wine

[simon]: told you everyone should like you best 😍

[maia]: 😘

***

[clary]: alinealinealinehelp in eed tot alkto you

[aline]: it's after 2 in the morning there what are you doing? Are you all right? Is someone dying? Do I need to get a plane ticket?

[clary]: SORRY. Everyone'sfine (alec's borfiiiiirnis so gorgeous and i don't even,i had to tell you because you'retheonlyone who gets it)

[aline]: alec's what? WHAT. [aline]: CLARY [aline]: CLARY WTF [aline]: I AM GOING TO CALL LUKE AND MAKE SURE NO ONE'S DYING

[aline]: clary? If you're asleep and no one's dying I'm going to kill you

[clary]: sorry, sorry. Got some water and a keyboard I candothisnow. Sort of. Sorry

[aline]: how drunk are you

[clary]: not too drunk for these conversation [clary]: thank god my phone's well trained

[aline]: thank god I woke up and had coffee already [aline]: can you start over now?

[clary]: yeah like. A week or twss ago this guy THIS GUY with the best clothes I've ever seen and eyeliner to rival Izzy's came into the store looking for a book and he said *ALEC* sent him

[aline]: what

[clary]: i KNOW. right. I did not know that was a thing for Alec. Maybe it's just Magnus is a thing for Alec? That would make more sense, I don't think he knew what he looked like at that point but MAGNUS HAD THIS LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE SAID aLEC's name and it was amazing and adorable and istg he's so beautiful i want his vests like all of them do you think if they get married I could borrow his vests?

[aline]: clary. You need to, idk. I cannot follow this story and if you don't figure it out I'm going to call you and if that doesn't help I'm going to call EVERYONE YOU ARE EVEN SORT OF RELATED TO UNTIL SOMEONE EXPLAINS

[clary]: NO you can't that's why I'm talking to you Maia went home to sle [clary]: sleep because Maia actually knows how to adult and Jace and Izzy are being like scowly because you know it's *Alec* and they're worried and Lydia is [clary]: Lydia more Alec's friend than my friend even though we are also friends and how does she make her hair stay like that do you think? It never falls out of those braids

[aline]: BREATHE

[clary]: ok

[aline]: drink some water

[clary]: ok

[aline]: try again

[clary]: so Alec has a boyfriend who he met via an accidental email message or something like in an actual freaking movie [clary]: and for their first date they came to THE HUNTER'S MOON AND SIMON'S GIG LAST WEEK

[aline]: why would anyone start with that

[clary]: and then they left early and Alec's was freshly shaved when he got to the bookstore the next *afternoon* like he had only just managed to get home and clean up before he had to show up and also he keeps smiling and I have a suspiciousness he hasn't slept back at his own place all week

[aline]: how did starting with meeting our family work, that's impossible

[clary]: I have no damn clue but we tried to tease him at dinner last week and now Maryse invited Magnus (that's the boyfriend in case I forgot that part?) to family dinner this week and apparently he said YES [clary]: IT'S BEEN A WEEK and ALEC IS BRINGING HIS OBYFRIENDTOD INNER S unday wait it's like almost three that's TOMORROW

[aline]: Alec's never invited anyone to a family anything ever. I've never even managed to figure out if he's ever gone on a date because wherever he goes it's not where any of us are. EVER.

[clary]: OH HE DATES NOW [clary]: I SAW THEM AT PANDEMONIUM TONIGHT AND I [clary]: they were *dancing* and I was maybe 4 people away and Alec didn't even notice [clary]: and Alec's my *brother* and they're boys but even I could tell they were really hot. as in people were staring hot and Alec didn't care

[aline]: holy shit

[clary]: like. I really don't want to know this about them but they may have had sex in the bathroom because let me tell you Alec was all blushing and dark eyed and hi's HAIR and you know that loose-happy-post-orgasm thing was going on with the dancing

[aline]: I don't want to know this about them or you that you would recognize that, you're twelve

[clary]: I am TWENV. I'm TWEMT fucking 21

[aline]: maybe he'd just had a drink and was enjoying a night out [aline]: ...

[clary]: yeah. Cuz that's not LESS WEIRD? Alec drinking and going out in public and not noticing someone he knows near-by? (MAIA. ME. we're not subtle) ALEC NOT NOTICING FAMILY? I HAVE NEVER. You have never. NEVER.

[aline]: this is the most disturbing conversation to be having. Especially with you

[clary]: WHY ESPECIALLY ME? You've known Izzy since she ewas actually a bb izzy and me since i was a teenager why'mI worse? [clary]: and i am not a virgin wtf aline you took me to the 18nighht at Galore togetherallthetime before you met Helen. And after you met Helen but before either of you had the balls to ask her out. Or the other her. Or you. I think I lost track of the nouns in that sentence

[aline]: drink more water

[clary]: k

[aline]: and then get some sleep

[clary]: BUT aLEC AND mAGNUS

[aline]: are adults and apparently very happy about that fact, they'll be fine

[clary]: but Izzy and Jace are being WEIRD ABOUT IT i need help

[aline]: why? How? What do you think I'm going to do from a different continent? And are you even going to remember this conversation after you get some sleep?

[clary]: that's why typing i can read it if i forgot

[aline]: uh. I think that's going to go a little differently than you expect

[clary]: oh, Simon's saved everysingle durmngdi drunk text I've ever sent him, this is way more like real words than usual

[aline]: that's terrifying I can't know that you're twelve

[clary]: stop saying that!

[aline]: you're drunk texting me about your brother's boyfriend [aline]: who you actually called both gorgeous and hot like he's a celebrity on a poster [aline]: stop acting like you're twelve

[clary]: oh [clary]: point [clary]: but

[aline]: and honestly considering Alec I think you're the one being weird [aline]: it's perfectly normal to be worried about someone doing something out of character

[clary]: ugh not you too [clary]: but the SMILES [clary]: the way they just. Everything. [clary]: I think they're soulmates

[aline]: there's no such thing

[clary]: I didn't think so either. but now?  [clary]: aw shit the tired hit I gotta go sleep [clary]: love you

[aline]: but [aline]: god damn it [aline]: I’m calling you back in six hours to wake you up and make you suffer

***

[aline]: I just had the weirdest conversation with Clary

[helen]: it's 3 in the morning there

[aline]: drunk!Clary. Not even why it was weird though. I think.

[helen]: what she's twelve she can't be drunk texting people on the other side of the planet, that's just wrong

[aline]: that's what I said!

[helen]: great minds

[aline]: hot bods

[helen]: 🥂

[aline]: 💕

[helen]: so what did drunk Clary have to say that was even weirder than the fact that drunk Clary was texting you from the other side of the planet?

[aline]: Alec brought a date to Simon's gig last week and they're going to family dinner Sunday AND they were apparently at Pandemonium last night. Alec didn't notice Clary. While he was dancing. In public. With some guy *Clary* called hot and gorgeous and beautiful.

[helen]: wtf Clary's possibly even more gay than you are. She and Alec are both solid sixes.

[aline]: I KNOW, RIGHT?

[helen]: I don't know what to do with this information

[aline]: exactly [aline]: and Clary was in all seriousness (I think) calling them soulmates and then she decided she was tired and stopped talking to me

[aline]: and it's 3am there everyone else is probably asleep  [aline]: I'm just staring at my phone. I feel like I should do something with all this? But there's nothing?

[helen]: so you had to share the WTF with me?

[aline]: obviously

[helen]: well [helen]: thanks? [helen]: but I'm at my stop so you're gonna have to figure out the WTF on your own for awhile

[aline]: but I don't wanna

[helen]: too bad

[aline]: ha. Just for that, I'm going back to bed. Blankets and pillows and that one line of sunlight that makes it through between the curtains...

[helen]: I hate you

[aline]: love you too, babe. 👋🏼