#at the same time its not too bad. its not that 'fetishy'

[1800duckhotline]

The fact you can just ask heather to dress up differently makes me feel nauseous (positive) (but also negative) but anyway she looks good whatever shes wearing to me.

[asphodelical]

The Great Anime Rewatch of 2024 - Part III

Nekomonogatari: Black

First watched: January 2013, original airdate Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 8 New rating: 4

I was only a few days off of watching this precisely eleven years later. Monogatari has always been a series whose strengths and weaknesses are on full display, and committing to both. For Nekomonogatari, its few episodes are filled with frivolous nonsense that feels like a waste of time: the little sister pandering, and the conversations that go in circles or last too long. And considering how Nekomonogatari was supposed to focus on Hanekawa, she’s not really in it much. Hanekawa has never been my favorite character in the series, and this didn’t help endear me to her at all. Also I’m just tired of seeing teenage anime girls being so sexualized. Finally, I had to dock points for Hanekawa idiotically stating, “People who aren’t blood related can't truly love each other.”

__________________________________

Owarimonogatari

First watched: December 2015, original airdate Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 5 New rating: 4

I guess even my teenage self was growing weary of the Monogatari series by this point, even if I didn’t have the knowledge or vocabulary to explain why. Now I can say that its cast is growing too big and I don’t care about any of the new additions. I did not remember Sodachi and Gaen’s existences, and I still think Shinobu is overrated. I know people adore badass, buxom female characters that are trapped in a younger/more innocent form (Nel from Bleach and Moka from Rosario+Vampire immediately come to mind), but it’s never been a trope that I’ve cared for. 

I was originally going to watch Tsukimonogatari, too. But considering how far my goodwill for the series has plummeted, I’m going to end it here. As far as the Monogatari series goes, I will stick to the first two seasons. They are all I need. But it will be a long time until I go anywhere near this franchise again.

__________________________________

Aoi Hana

First watched: May 2011  Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 7 New rating: 5

Aoi Hana was one of the few yuri anime that wasn’t exploitative, fetishy, or queerbait. Since the author of Aoi Hana is the same woman who created the whole transgender story of Wandering Son, it makes perfect sense.

As much as I want to like Aoi Hana, I just don’t find its characters memorable. (The same goes for Wandering Son.) It’s also really slow. I think it would’ve been better as a condensed film adaptation. I only lasted six episodes. However, I am interested in reading the author’s other works. 

__________________________________

Black Lagoon & The Second Barrage

First watched: June 2011, August 2011 Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 8, 8 New rating: 5, 5

With the utter failure of my rewatch of the bloodbath that is Future Diary, will Black Lagoon fare any better?

I watched the dub because most of the English cast are all Canadian, and Canada churns out some of the best voice actors. More Canadians in anime dubbing, please?

First season - I wasn’t feeling it until episode nine when Roberta entered the story. (The whole submarine-painting escapade was the low point for me.) The comic timing as the Lagoon calmly hides under a table during a bar shoot out was so good. I also found myself enjoying a lot of the music, particularly whenever it sounded Mediterranean. Rock is way more boring than I remember (fuckin’ morality pet), Revy is more static than I remember, and Benny….exists. Dutch is cool, though. With the exception of the CG for some of the vehicles, most of the animation has also held up. The first season was just alright to me, but the English cast and localization did a lot of heavy lifting. (Docking points for having a white lady doing a bad Asian accent for Shenhua.)

Second season - So. The twins. Still the highlight. And I called it quits five episodes in. I’ve had my fill. This is not the kind of show that’s good to marathon for me—it’s better suited to a weekly popcorn flick that you forget about almost immediately after. But I’m not doing that. Again, massive credit to the the English cast and localization team for a damn good job. 

__________________________________

Spice & Wolf

First watched: July 2011 Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 5 New rating: 4

‘Animeconomics’ and Holo defined Spice & Wolf. I only recall being bored (I was only seventeen when I first watched it), and thinking Fukuyama Jun was woefully miscast as the main guy. I still feel that way, so I dared to watch this in English. Maybe listening to Holo’s economic lessons in English will help my enjoyment?

I feel like so many female voice actresses fall back upon the acting choice of high and mighty/snobbish/know it all route, and then use it for every fucking line. (Colleen Clinkenbeard, Marisha Rey, Brina Palencia.) No, it doesn’t make me like you or the character. It’s annoying, and much more intolerable in my native language than hearing it in Japanese. And Lawrence has the personality of a wet log. 

However, Spice & Wolf is most interesting when Holo and Lawrence are using their knowledge and wits in the harsh landscape of merchants and peddlers. The bits where they’re being chased and attacked? Get that shit out of there. In a story like Spice & Wolf, you know everything is going to resolve itself quickly. There’s more tension in making bad deals or getting swindled. I’d almost be better off listening to the education bits audio only, since the visuals are woefully uninteresting. I lasted six episodes and furries still make me uncomfy.

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[sodomitecastiel]

Do you have any recommended spn fics? To be restored is consuming all of my non fenario brainspace

This is in no way an exhaustive list - @jewishcharliebradbury is the one to go for that - but these are some favorites of mine, please always heed their tags just in case!

Putting it under a readmore because I'm a wordy bastard:

Sky Verse by starandrea: Angelic civil war! The crispest, most in-character dialogue! Vast, sprawling worldbuilding! Dean and Cas get together and are very bad at it for a long time! This series obsesses me the way other people are obsessed with dta (which I have not read for fear of commitment but fully intend to eventually).

To Be Restored by serenetyfails: You mentioned this one already but it's worth repeating - it's my favorite trans spn fic that I didn't write myself. Cas's transmasc identity is handled so carefully and so competently, Dean flips out in a way that's both in character and still kind to him, and Sam and Rowena are wonderfully fleshed out. I think many people would look at the premise and worry it's either misogynistic or fetishy, but it's neither, it's such a love letter to Cas's well-earned masculinity. Also, I'm obsessed with Rowena knowing and being buddies with a lot of trans women witches :)

Talk Therapy by shara: This is one of my favorite 'Dean is bad at asking for things' fics, it deals with his inability to want things past what he can give to others really well. I also appreciate that not everything in their relationship is fixed just because they're together, although the amount they love each other is always obvious.

Epilogue by JayneL: A weird little time travel story that is NOT a fixit for endverse, but is exceptionally kind to endverse Cas anyway. It aches very badly. I remember it being pretty trippy but also having to sit and look at the ceiling a while after reading it.

The Love Story of the Runner Up by Margo_Kim: Cas dates a normal human man with a good soul for a little while before he gets with Dean. Both of them know it isn't for forever, but they look after each other anyway. Told through the lens of story-swapping between gay friends and written with so much care & love. (You can thank @okologie for finding this one and making me read it despite my reservations.)

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo: Everyone recommends this fic but it's for a reason. Probably the best post-retirement fic there is, and definitely helped me form the neural connections to write Fenario, haha, I can't recommend this one enough. The complicated Dean and Sam issues are held with just as much weight as the Dean and Cas ones, although both are handled gently.

you and me in the war of the end times by stickthelanding (@tallahasseemp3): Alma knocked it out of the park with this one. THEE shotgunning fic. I've reread it more times than I can count, it has the loveliest atmosphere. I want to gnaw on this prose, said with love!

A Drinking Song by Balder12: Endverse snapshot. This one is mostly just bone hurting juice but it's one of my favorite characterizations of them - sometimes I find that endverse stories either make Cas way too soft or fucked up in a way I find goes too far in a direction I don't agree with, this one feels pitch perfect.

Everyone Is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12: All time fave angel true form fic!!! It's deliciously weird and fun, definitely a mind-melter. I only read it the once but sometimes I think about it and get a funny little shiver.

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara: This is another 'universal favorite', but also for good reason. Extraordinarily tender, it's my personal favorite Cas-grows-a-garden post canon story, especially because it manages to write a jealousy plotline that doesn't make me want to bite and kill. Dean's voice is exactly right and everything unfurls with this tender inevitability, idk how else to describe it! It also ends on a final image that's so lovely it's seared into my brain.

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by pantheon_of_discord: Nobody does vignettes like supernatural writers. I love the way the road feels in this one, and how carefully picked each moment is. A string of pearls, this fic.

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays: Dean and Cas get trapped in the midwest by a curse that doesn't let them leave the state, and they want to break it until they don't. Being trapped gives them an excuse to want to settle down, but the route they take to get there is, of course, circuitous. This one hurts a little because it takes place while Sam is dead, but it isn't gratuitous in its sadness. Sweet and melancholy.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo: FAVE FAVE FAVE FAVE. I push this one at everyone I can. I'm extremely picky about 'Dean's self loathing' fics, mainly because I think it can veer easily into melodrama, but this author weaves Dean's self hatred and his anger together very seamlessly, in a way that feels real to the show. Also, Cas is perfect.

sweeter coming from my hand by perilously: A story that I liked before Nov5 and withstood the test of time!! Dean and Cas get married/soul-bound in order to both remove the Mark of Cain and fix Cas's grace. Features a formative scene for me where Cas expresses worries about if he has a soul and Dean raps knuckles on his chest, going, "knock knock, sounds like a soul in there." If you like this one, perilously has many good fics that are just as in character.

On Labor by a_good_soldier: I very nearly couldn't finish this one, but not because it's bad, haha. The premise just makes me want to tear my clothes in mourning - Dean knows Cas is in love with him, after getting him back from the Empty, and decides that he should give him what he wants without realizing that he wants it too. Dean performatively dating Cas while trying to talk himself into liking it (not knowing that he does actually like it) is exactly the kind of convoluted bullshit Dean's internalized homophobia would do to him. Nauseating and spectacular. Sticks in your brain for weeks.

canticles by 2street2car: An excellent 'weird girl best friends' fic. After striking out at the brothel, Dean decides to treat Cas to the "first date experience" himself, since the guy might die the next day. To sum it up succinctly: the rituals are intricate. And dirty dancing is referenced!

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon: As the author states themself, this fic is a love letter to California - it's a road trip casefic that's so rooted in place, the setting is rich and lush and the atmosphere makes me ache, and not just because it's set in my home state! I saved this one for last because this is another prolific author who has many stories I come back to again and again (Sweet Home and Love: A Retrospective are particularly good), they really don't miss. Usually when I read fic, it's a mad dash to the finish, but I took my time with this one. I highly encourage you to do the same :)

[anomura]

it sucks but i cant even pretend to like a solangelo friendship. and i was even kind of open to them at the end of boo (i wrote solangelo fanfiction on wattpad in 2014 can you believe it) so its funny to me when people say he gets better in toa, because that was what SOLIDIFIED my dislike hatred of him. i think if solangelo was going to be done in a tactful way he’d need a complete rewrite, starting with the fact he’s a healer and so on. its just so hard to look past the weird obsessive + fetishy glorification the fandom has bestowed upon him :/

ahhhh i'm honestly the same!! i feel like even if they were to be friends, their relationship started in a weird way :/ like i cannot get past him invalidating nico and being fucking rude??? i know people make mistakes and he's not the only one who hasn't been the nicest to nico but it just makes my blood boil every time i remember it, so that would Definitely need to change if they were to be friends and ofc boyfriends lol also the whole nico being ooc at the end of boo bothers me So Much i genuinely don't believe the nico we knew up until that point would ever stand for will being a pushy asshole??? like. hello???? anyway.

i can't speak a lot about their relationship or will in toa bc i haven't read it but i've heard people saying he's a pain in the ass LMAO it's so sad bc he really wasn't a bad character before riordan decided to pair him with nico :/ and yeah the whole healer thing irks me too. i already hated canon solangelo bc of how out of Nowhere and forced it was but oh my god the fandom made it so much worse i can barely stand the shippers rip i know not everyone is awful, i have a few friends who ship them and are great but overall i try to keep my distance and forget that the relationship is canon bc i fucking hate it so much.

it was so so so poorly done and what makes me even madder is people arguing that it's representation and that nico deserves to be happy like Yeah. ofc he fucking does and that's exactly why i hate solangelo? he deserves BETTER than a forced weird relationship ??? if you care about him so much, if you care about lgbtq+ representation so much, shouldn't you want him to be in a well developed, not forced, good relationship? are we supposed to just accept it because "it's a gay couple!! and at least he's not alone!!!"?? literally fuck off lmao first things first he deserves friends, a good support network and therapy. a boyfriend won't solve his problems. rick literally got rid of everyone who cared about him other than hazel and now he basically just has will ?? how is that healthy ????

if i'm being honest i can't even see solangelo lasting like nico would stay with him for 2 years tops and then he'd realize will is annoying and he can do better and dump him LOL that's what happens in my head at least .

anyway sorry for the long ass rant i'm just always mad abt solangelo and down to talk shit about it<3

[ace-ffa]

pinned post

Hi I’m Rose, asexual (sex-repulsed) and aromantic FFA and this is my kink blog! Actually that’s not my real name but you need to be Confidant Rank 10 to know my real name. (As you can tell from that reference, an interest besides thicc boys is video games. I also like to write and draw! And cook.) My kink preferences can be found here! https://ace-ffa.tumblr.com/about

(But the basics are I’m attracted to SSBHM with lots of soft fat. I don’t like hard fat. Similarly I only like soft feedism, not hard feedism. Soft, soft, soft.)

So to get this out of the way first, as sadly being a woman I have to make this clear: I am not really here for… fat chat? I’ve ‘been there, done that’. I've been approached by many, many guys by virtue of being an elusive fa girl (or “female” as many of them called me, which was an instant ignore lmao), but with few exceptions it led to nothing but disappointment and awkwardness. No more, I learned my lesson; I only want to have that kind of talk now with a like-minded asexual (SS)BHM. If you aren’t asexual, do not message me with that intent because I will not respond. And don’t lie, sadly people have lied to me. 

(And of course I’m totally open to making friends! I’d love more FA friends to share kink stuff with! This might sound weird, but I really love this kink, I love talking about it. I’m really shy though and bad at small talk, but I don’t bite. Note that I can only see messages when I log in on PC because on mobile which I use most of the time, I have to use a third party tumblr app in order to make sure I am not confusing this account with my main, ADHD is a bitch. And yeah said app does not have the chat feature so, forgive me if I take a while to respond!)

lastly I guess I should have this warning about myself. I wholeheartedly believe medical fatphobia is a problem. I believe that weight is not the be-all-end-all of health. Being thin does not mean someone is healthy or even fit, and I can personally attest to that. Some obese people are in better health than thin people, and it is definitely faaaar worse for health to be too thin than it is to be too heavy, and likewise it’s far worse to eat too little than too much. Nor do I believe obesity is a moral failing. But, I believe obesity especially to the extent which I am attracted to does have a negative effect on one’s health and lifespan. I have been called fatphobic for thinking this, hell, for the fact that I don’t want to be a feeder because of the effects extreme obesity has on a person’s health. I was told I should “reevaluate myself” and. No. Sorry, as a life science nerd I’ve been fascinated by fat and its effects my entire life, not even out of fetishy-interest. I just like this stuff. I’ve done lots of reading up about obesity. I am by no means claiming to be an expert, but I am about as informed as a layperson can be. I will not go in-depth about what I think about the link between obesity and health unless I am asked, but my point is, I believe obesity has a negative effect on health, and I believe those who think otherwise are in denial and are simply believing what they want to believe. And no, the risk of obesity is not the same as say driving a car because I need to drive a car in order to survive (getting to work, making money), but I don’t need to be a feeder to live. If you for some reason consider me fatphobic for this, whatever. The block button is right there. I will likewise not reply to and block every clown who tries saying anything to me about it. Don’t waste my time or yours.

Anyway enjoy my blog. Thanks for reading.

[positivityforlesbians]

Putting an emoji here so I recognize this if you happen to answer 🍇

I've only recently been following this blog but I really enjoy the fact that this exists. Positivity for female homosexuality is scarce, I really appreciate this blog.

I'm a lesbian girl and I've been dealing with internalized homophobia and the predatory lesbian stereotype has been getting to me.

I've known I was gay since I was in kindergarten when I wanted to marry my best friend. I told her that two girls could get married and we could do that if she wanted to, and now she's also a lesbian.

I now have a wonderful girlfriend that I love so dearly, but every time we do something intimate I feel such shame afterwards. I feel like I've just violated her, even though during it we both enjoy it. I've faced sexual abuse that also contributes to me feeling like a predator for being attracted to her and enjoying being intimate with her. I feel like the weird girl that was molested and now has fetishy same sex desires and needs to be kept away from everyone. It's really wrecking my mental health. How do I deal with this?

Hi, sorry I'm so bad with responding fast to messages, I must be one of the worst blog when it comes to punctuality ! Anyway, I'm glad that both your best friend and you are lesbians, that you have a girlfriend and that the relationship is going well. Now when it comes to the problem you have regarding how you feel after sex, this is 100% internalised homophobia, saying it won't make it disappear though. I'm not a professional so I think this is a very specific problem that should be dealt with by talking with a sex therapist, preferably with a woman. I know there's professionals who specialise in patients who are same-sex attracted so it's as much as possible comfortable and safe for the ones trying to talk about such intimate topics.

You have the right to want to be sexual with a woman, you're into women so all of it is absolutely natural. Your girlfriend wants this just as much as you do and so there's no reason to feel like you imposed that on her, shame is a hell of a poison. It's one injected to us by our homophobic society since we're kids so it only makes sense to have its stigma still very present as adults, it's like a wound to care for so it heals. I think the solution is to talk with a professional and with other lesbians too as visibility and representation is important, the more you talk and see others having this same problem and having overcome it the less you'll feel like a predator. Xx

[lethal-liability]

Ari's ranking of Imagine Dragon's discography

Here's something literally no one asked for! Anyway rankings are out of 10 and I'll have album stats at the end. Also any songs in the EPs that would later appear on Night Visions are just going under the album. I know that'll screw with their averages but I don't really care.

Imagine Dragons (2009) average rating: 7.2

I Need A Minute: 6/10 A nice fun song I used to like dancing around my room to. The lyrics are completely incomprehensible but I guess that's the point, I like it. The vocals are just a little bit too low

Uptight: 7/10 Funky beat, I really like the synth. I didn't listen to this one much as a kid but I really missed out this song kinda fucks.

Cover Up: 7/10 Some more funky bass and synth, getting into some of the more poetic lyrics that I like from them. Pretty solid.

Curse: 9/10 This 👏 was 👏 my 👏 favorite 👏 song 👏 back 👏 in 👏 the 👏 day 👏 Here's where my bias comes in cause this one gets an extra point purely for that. The lyrics don't really make sense but I would lay up at night coming up with complex amvs in my head to go along with it :) Still holds up to 11 y/o Ari's love.

Drive: 7/10 Again, another one I never really listened to as a kid. It's a pretty good, relaxing song, really different from the rest of the upbeat songs on the EP.

Hell and Silence (2010) average rating: 6.75

All Eyes: 6/10 Another funky song, nothing really special but pretty solid

I Don't Mind: 4/10 Honestly not a fan of this one, the synth is kinda annoying and the lyrics are kinda irritating

Selene: 8/10 Idk what to say I just like this song :)

Emma: 9/10 Honestly pretty much the same as Selene but with a chiller vibe, I like the raspier vocals. Extra points for that nearly yelled bridge HELL AND SILENCE I CAN FIGHT IT

It's Time (2011) average rating: 4.2

Tokyo: 3/10 Look I'm a sucker for funky synth OKAY. I don't speak Japanese but I don't have to to tell you Dan's pronunciation is really cringy. Deducting points for the kinda fetishy lyrics too.

The River: 8/10 This is one of those songs I like to listen to when I'm sad to make myself sadder so I can cry my feelings out. It's got a pretty, soothing melody and nice lyrics.

Leave Me: 2/10 This song used to make the feminism leave my body as a kid but I just can't bring myself to really do that anymore lmao. Come on Dan, that's two kinda gross songs on one album :/

Pantomime: 2/10 I. Really did not like this song as a kid. Like I had a playlist on youtube of all their music except this song. I was right.

Look How Far We've Come: 6/10 Hearing this song for the first time in like nine years was an experience. Not a bad song but dome of the lines are a little clunky.

Night Visions (2012) average rating: 7.33

Radioactive: 9/10 Ya know this is the song that got them famous and for good reason. It's a good song and great amv fodder.

Tiptoe: 8/10 It's gonna be harder to write about these songs going forward because these are ones I listen to regularly so I know I like them but yeah. Good song.

It's Time: 10/10 Radioactive may have been what got them famous but this was their first real big single and it was my favorite. I'm a big sucker for a mandolin and I think this is where they started to lean more into the folky sound than the synthy sound.

Demons: 9/10 Another one of their songs I used to listen to to cry and I don't listen to it much anymore because of that but it's still a good, poetic song that hits me in the feels.

On Top Of The World: 6/10 My mom had this as her alarm when I was in middle school so I couldn't listen to it for a long time. The lyrics are a little heavy handed sometimes and a little incomprehensible at others but it's an alright little tune.

Hear Me: 8/10 This album is a little confusing because they include some of their older synth heavy songs alongside their newer folky songs, but I won't complain with this song. Frustrated 13 year old me loved this song because I, too, felt that no one ever heard me when I talked. Ya know, 13 y/o things.

Amsterdam: 7/10 I have no idea what this song is about but it's pretty good.

Every Night: 5/10 This was their first and last try at what I call a "first dance bait" song. Ya know like Perfect by Ed Sheeren or Marry Me by Train? It's alright, just really heavy handed.

Bleeding Out: 10/10 Oh emo eleven year old me ate this edgy shit up. Is it a grimdark? Yes. But that's a plus for this song. This song makes me wanna scream every time I listen to it I BARE MY SKIN AND I COUNT MY SINS AND I CLOSE MY EYES AND I TAKE IT IN

Underdog: 6/10 Another cute song, not much to say about this one, it's alright.

Nothing Left To Say: 9/10 ANOTHER another song I cry to, this one still hits home for me. It's pretty and soothing but the lyrics are still heart wrenching. The instrumental at the end is nice and I like to fall asleep to it.

Rocks: 8/10 A nice upbeat song that is a little repetative but it's only about a minute long so it doesn't over stay its welcome.

Working Man: 5/10 This song isn't on spotify so I don't get to hear it often and I actually hadn't heard it in a while when I listened to it to do this. It's kinda trying to be a 9 to 5 type song but it doesn't really do it for me.

Fallen: 8/10 Another song I hadn't heard in a while since it's not on spotify but I'm more of a fan of this one. Another amv bait song to me but one with more of a triumphant vibe to it. I really like the vocals in the chorus.

Cha-Ching ('Til We Grow Older): 8/10 The hook of this song, cha-ching x3, has a big potential to become really annoying like some of their later songs (cough cough, Thunder) but they actually somhow make it work. This song hits me a lot harder now than it did as a kid cause god. Yeah. They're so right. We are all living until we grow older.

Smoke + Mirrors (2015) average rating: 9.06

Shots: 9/10 Hell YES my favorite album finally let's get into this shit. Anyway songs that make me wanna lay in a field of wildflowers. Well the music, the lyrics are pretty depressing. But that's what makes a great song ya know.

Gold: 9/10 Songs about the rich losing their humanity? Hell yeah. I fucking love the percussion and the synth in this one too.

Smoke and Mirrors: 10/10 The under appreciated masterpiece of this album in my humble opinion. Everyone always talks about Dream as the best song on the album but I really think it's this one. That yelled OPEN UP MY EYES gets me all the time I just really really love this song.

I'm So Sorry: 9/10 Real sexy bassline on this one. I can't tell what the fuck this song is about but I don't care because it goes pretty hard.

I Bet My Life: 8/10 I like the gospel vibes, especially the backing vocals, some of them out-sing Dan a little bit. This one also hits a little harder now that I'm grown up a bit.

Polaroid: 8/10 Another one with cool percussion, some of the lyrics are lost on me but I get the overall vibe of it.

Friction: 10/10 I have no clue what that string is at the beginning of the song but man does it fuck hard. God actually everything in this song goes pretty hard, I'm especially a fan of the vocals.

It Comes Back To You: 8/10 Nice chill song, I feel like this is one that's gonna hit in a few years. Not much to say about it tbh besides I like it.

Dream: 10/10 This song really does live up to the hype even if I like other songs better. It's really poetic and well composed. You really just have to listen to it to get it tbh.

Trouble: 8/10 The piano at the beginning is a little grating but it gets better. Again not much to say about this one, it's solid, just not one of my favorites.

Summer: 8/10 Another sexy baseline, another set of incomprehensible lyrics. I like it.

Hopeless Opus: 10/10 This one's a little weird but it was my favorite for a while. I like weird. Idk if anyone would agree with me but this one was kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, this really was a hopeless opus since, in my opinion, they've yet to make album as good as this one. Also. Guitar solo.

The Fall: 10/10 I like to put this song on when we get the first cold snap of the year after summer :) It's just really chill and I like the vibes and the vocals

Thief: 10/10 AAAAHHHHHH SONGS THAT MAKE ME WANNA RUN THROUGH THE WOODS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

The Unknown: 9/10 Cool percussion, I like the intermediate piano, it's a nice touch.

Second Chances: 9/10 I like the strings and the vocals. Another nice chill song.

Release: 9/10 I like that this one is completely acoustic, it's a nice send off for a great album, if a little depressing.

Evolve (2017) average rating: 5.5

I Don't Know Why: 10/10 I have wanted to choreograph something to this song for the fucking longest time oh my god. I really love the vocals and the synth in this one.

Whatever It Takes: 5/10 This one's alright. It's not great but it's definitely not the worst. Perfectly average pop song.

Believer: 10/10 I am a little bit biased with this one because I use it for my OCs a lot but like. It's a really good song. And I don't watch TV so I haven't gotten it ruined for me by commercials.

Walking The Wire: 6/10 I hadn't listened to this song in a while and it's really not as bad as I remember. I guess you can really tell that he was having marital issues when they made this album and that didn't really connect with me back then. But I'm kinda into a little bit of it now.

Rise Up: 4/10 Another really average, inspirational pop song. I like the raspiness of Dan's voice in most songs but it sounds so over processed in this song I can't stand it.

I'll Make It Up To You: 3/10 Wow okay never mind the marital issues vibe is coming back real heavily in this one. Idk it's just such Straight People vibes, I don't like it :/

Yesterday: 1/10 I associate this song with someone I don't talk to anymore and really wanna forget so it's kinda running at a deficit already. But. Um. It's not a good song otherwise. It's another weird song but something about this one just doesn't work.

Mouth Of The River: 7/10 I think I liked this one when it came out, idk why I stopped listening to it. It's pretty good. Not great. But I like the river imagery. Well. I like river imagery in general.

Thunder: 2/10 hhhhhhhhhhhh why did they think this was a good idea. Probably their most notorious song, I know a lot of people cite it when they say Imagine Dragons makes shitty music. I just think it's tragic that this is one of the ones that got super popular for some reason. However as someone who teaches children's dance classes, however annoying you think this version is, you haven't heard anything until you have to listen to the KidzBop version twice a week for a year. Not a complete 0 because I do like some of the vocals that aren't. That Part.

Start Over: 6/10 Another one I hadn't heard in a while, but it's pretty groovy. Not as heavy handed as some of the other songs, and that flute in the chorus is pretty cool.

Dancing In The Dark: 8/10 I like this one a lot, the processing on the vocals is a little wonky but I like the vibes.

Next To Me: 4/10 Yeah this was the "please don't divorce me" song. It's. alright. Really heavy handed, they probably should've waited to release this one but you know.

Origins (2018) average rating: 4.8

Natural: 10/10 Another one I'm biased for because I associate it with a beloved OC. But It's still a good song. I like it.

Boomerang: 5/10 Another song that just has an awkward hook with awkward delivery.

Machine: 9/10 I like this song a lot more now that I know the band is really outspoken about their experiences with mormanism and escaping it. But the irony of a song with a nonconformist message from a pop band is not lost on me.

Cool Out: 5/10 Idk I don't have much to say about this one. It's alright.

Bad Liar: 4/10 Oh boy more divorced dad energy. Hhhhhh I'm getting burnt out on this. For the record I have no problem with people going through things like this, I'm just not into these vibes in my music, especially when they're super desperate like this.

West Coast: 3/10 East coast supremacy. Also why are you trying to be Mumford and Sons.

Zero: 4/10 You know, the Ralph Breaks the internet song? God. That sure was a movie. The song is better, but not by much. It is fun and bouncy but I don't like listening to it too often.

Bullet In A Gun: 5/10 I used to really like this song but now I just associate it with an embarrassing character I used to stan so :/ I do still like the lyrics even if I don't listen to it anymore.

Digital: 3/10 I can't tell if this song is pro or anti technology??? And the electronic melody is annoying.

Only: 4/10 Hhhhhh I'm so tired. I don't like this one.

Stuck: 2/10 idk man. bad.

Love: 3/10 Really trying hard to be the Beatles here. :/ That's really not a compliment.

Birds: 5/10 This one's kinda nice, a little more original but like. I'm so burned out on this theme. hhhhhhhh

Burn Out: 10/10 Speaking of burn out. lmao, no I actually really like this one. I just recently listened to it kinda intently for the first time and I just. Wow. The second verse really gets to me. I feel like this song has a lot of the poeticness I liked from Smoke + Mirrors.

Real Life: 0/10 Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh obligatory "PHONES BAD" song from the folk pop band. At least when Bastille does it they don't literally say "turn your phone off!" in the song. I'm so tired. I'm gonna take a nap before I listen to the next album.

Mercury - Act 1 (2021) average rating: 7.46

Okay I'm still tired but let's do this. Also I've only heard this album like three times so far so this ranking is most definitely gonna change as I listen to it more.

My Life: 9/10 Holy shit this song is fucking heart wrenching and I first listened to it at like just the perfect time for me to ball like a baby listening to it. Literally my only gripe is I wish the tempo would've picked up a little bit earlier.

Lonely: 9/10 This song is equally fucking depressing but it's upbeat and I eat that shit up. The vocals are a little weird sometimes but I really like the pre-chorus a lot.

Wrecked: 8/10 Okay so this album is just gonna be gut punch after gut punch huh? Look, I was really going through some shit when they dropped this album so I like really connected with a lot of it. But yeah I like this song.

Monday: 4/10 Alright. Not a fan of this one. The metaphor is kinda cute I guess, even if it implies that like literally everyone else things your sweetheart is fucking insufferable. Actually. Who tf thinks monday is the best day of the week? Like what kind of person? But, uh, musically, it's kinda annoying.

#1: 7/10 Self-care babie!!!!!!! Okay but this is a nice song. Yes we all need to learn self love it's a fucking journey babe.

Easy Come Easy Go: 9/10 I really like this one, it might be my favorite on the album. My only gripe is the bridge/3rd verse/whatever it's called is a little bit clunky

Giants: 8/10 god DAMN those vocals. This is another kinda weird song but I'm into this one like I am with Hopeless Opus.

It's Okay: 7/10 Honestly I'm kinda tired of hearing "it's okay to be not okay" Like yeah I've been depressed for most of my life now I think I got that at this point. But I am a fan of "I don't want this body, I don't want this voice, I don't wanna be here but I guess I have no choice." Like damn even my gender crisis? Y'all are really just hitting all my nails from the past year right on the head huh?

Dull Knives: 9/10 OKAY ROCK RIFF I HEAR YOU, I just wish it would've lasted through the song instead of going slow again during the second chorus. But yeah, songs that make me wanna scream in the woods in the middle of the night.

Follow You: 8/10 ME AND WHO???????

Cutthroat: 9/10 HELLO AMV BAIT I MISSED YOU I wish it was longer. Also, love Dan's screamo debut I wish he'd just fucking scream his throat raw more often.

No Time For Toxic People: 4/10 okay I think we've established that I'm not a fan of completely unsubtle songs so I don't think it should be a shock that I'm not a fan of this one. The music doesn't really save it either.

One Day: 6/10 M E A N D W H O ? ? ? Not as much of a fan of this one as Follow You though.

Additional Singles but only one's I've already heard because fuck you there are so many of these

Battle Cry: 6/10 I thought this one was from some soundtrack but idk. A transformers movie I think? I can't find anything on it. Anyway, okay song. I like the line stars are only visible in darkness. The rest of the song is kinda repetitive

Born To Be Yours: 8/10 I like this song a lot. I have no idea who Kygo is but I'm a fan of this beat. For the record, this is more something I would use for my first dance.

Destination: 6/10 Another song I haven't hear in a while. I enjoy the vocals from the other band members. But it is an itunes sessions song so it's a little messy, probably could have been better if they'd recorded it as a regular song.

I Was Me: 7/10 A nice sad acoustic song, not much to say, I like it

Levitate: 6/10 This one is from that Jennifer Lawrence Crisp Rat movie no one saw. It's okay. I like the sci-fi vibes.

Lost Cause: 4/10 This one is from the Frankenweenie soundtrack of all things. This is another grimdark edgy song, but it just doesn't have the staying power to me that Bleeding Out did.

Monster: 8/10 This song was my fucking jam as a kid and was the song that got me into Nightcore in middle school so you know it's important to me. Still a big fan of it.

Not Today: 7/10 I actually saw the movie this was from, Me Before You. I would say this is another first dance bait song but I think they were just trying to match the vibes of the movie. The song is better than the movie though. In case you were wondering.

Ready! Aim! Fire!: 7/10 continuing the trend of songs from soundtracks, apparently this song is from Iron Man 3? Seems kinda weird to put a song about rebellion and revolution in a movie about a billionaire 🤔🤔🤔. Anyway it has a more electronic, industrial sound than most of their stuff which i appreciate. Still have to deduct points for being from a marvel movie though oops.

Roots: 10/10 Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh I love this song. Another another biased one because I associate it with one of my OCs but like. It's a good song.

Sucker For Pain: 5/10 Ya know that song from the Suicide Squad soundtrack? The masochist anthem? It's alright, I mean Dan's part is probably the best, the rap is okay I guess, I'm not a huge rap fan so I don't really know what constitutes a good rap. I guess the appeal of this song was all the big names but it just gets tiresome that there's a new voice every 30 seconds. Really gimmicky but Lil Wayne's part is kinda funny so I'll give it that.

Warriors: 8/10 More amv bait, another one I could've sworn this was from some soundtrack but I can't find anything on it. Pretty solid song.

Who We Are: 6/10 This sing is from one of the Hunger Games Movies, I can't remember which one though. Anyway it's fucking incomprehensible but I like it.

Conclusion

Okay so in order from Highest to Lowest ranked the albums and EPs are

Smoke + Mirrors: 9.06

Mercury - Act 1: 7.46

Night Visions: 7.33

Self Titled: 7.2

Hell and Silence: 6.75

Evolve: 5.5

Origins: 4.8

It's Time: 4.2

See and this is completly objective because if you had asked me to rank my favorite albums I would've put Night Visions above Mercury 😠 I did have a good time going back and listening to a lot of old songs I hadn't heard in forever

anyway I'm tired and this post no one asked for is over 3k words so I am going to bed good fucking night

[seerofmike]

i feel like a huge portion of kpop fans are gay fetishists attracted to the idea of quote unquote feminine men and thats why theres so much bullshit

YES okay. okay let me rant for a minute. let me preface this by saying i am NOT a kpop shipper at ALL. this is going to be long so i’ll put it under a’ ‘read more’ because i’ve been holding it in for TWO FUCKING YEARS BABY!

being mlm in boygroup kpop fandom is literally so exhausting. 99% of the people who ship real life human men from boygroups are fetishists and i will tell u why

obviously we all know of a ship in a fandom where the characters' personalities are twisted to fit the heteronormative view of "top" and "bottom" --one character is hypermasculine (top) and the other one is feminine (bottom). there are typical traits associated with both. the ‘top’ is scary or mean or angry or serious while the ‘bottom’ is emotional or bubbly or shy. while this is egregious, at least its fictional characters. their personalities can be simplified or exaggerated and it doesnt cause any real life harm.

im going to define what i think of as a fetishist: a non-mlm person who overly sexualizes gay men/men they think are gay/gay ships, and forces them into heteronormative roles for their own pleasure. its not even limited to cishet women. plenty of non-mlm lgbt people do this too and its like disheartening. so anyways

enter the kpop fandom

i may be incredibly biased here because one of the most affected members [of bts] is my favorite kpop boy, but oh god is the ‘personality change/simplification’ thing AWFUL here. i do not go out of my way to find fanart or see fanfic threads, but being in the bts fandom, u will inevitably see it and i REALLY wish i didnt

so anyways. my favorite boy ever is hoseok. he is sweet and hardworking and very passionate about dance and he can be serious when needed, but ultimately he tries to be very lighthearted and will consistently laugh or make jokes or do something funny when the other members feel uncomfortable or awkward (mostly during english-speaking interviews). he kisses the members on the cheek a lot/hugs them a lot/cuddles them a lot [this is important for later okay]

of course, theres a lot more to him because he is a multi-faceted real life human being, and i don’t know him personally, but that’s a general idea of what he’s like, okay?

SHIPPERS will have you think differently. some video got popular on youtube ""proving"" that hoseok is a sadist (which is just clips of him jokingly playfighting with the younger members), and the video depicts him as secretly mean and serious, and shippers will use that to say "hoseok is a total top!" and then most fanart or imagines or fanfic threads you see are top!hoseok, using this imagined 'hoseok is a sadistic dom' narrative to fuel their fiction, because SOMEONE has to be the top, so they twist him into this hypermasculine mean person (and probably feminize the 'bottom' of their ship but more on that later)

EXCEPT it is not just fiction. this narrative bleeds into REAL LIFE. you have new armys who dont know anything about the shipping scene, and yet somehow the narrative of hoseok being a secretly mean, sadistic person has already made its way into them. in real life, hoseok likes rainbows and wearing nail stickers and putting glitter in his hair. yet people in the fandom will say shit like "hoseok hates femininity" "hoseok would never wear [thing] because he's a dom"

sometimes on twitter you have ppl like me who say uh actually you guys are really weird and this is fetishy and in real life hoseok is very nice and not sadistic at all, you will UNDOUBTEDLY get comments like "omg hoseok isnt cute/nice when will yall learn he’s secretly like [x] and [x]". you could post a video of hoseok with a puppy titled "wow cute" and u will get like 2 clowns in ur comments going 'hoseok isnt CUTE hes a sadist’ . i wish i was joking but i am not. they will do this for EVERY action hoseok does. he cannot blink without people twisting it into a sexual thing

[also, side note: its funny that, since hoseok is one of the least popular members and therefore one of the least shipped members, he is often the odd man out among pairings, and is assigned 'the straight one' by default, and 9 times out of 10 people who assign him 'the straight one' do all this 'dom daddy hoseok' shit.

which just goes to show that this is indeed a matter of heteronormativity.]

so anyways arguably the most popular ship with hoseok is with yoongi, sope. this absolutely happens to other ships probably but im just using them as an example because i see it the most, being a hobi stan

yoongi is very calm and thoughtful and kind and sometimes appears to be cold/having a bad attitude but its just because of the way he speaks, which is very bluntly. again hes a multi faceted real human and i do not know him personally but thats generally what hes like.

god the fandom. treats him SO BAD. so horribly. he's shorter than hoseok. he's shorter than hoseok and people will exaggerate that literal 1 inch height difference so bad and people will turn his whole personality into shy and blushy and In Love With Hoseok, so in love with hoseok that ‘he gets sad’ when hoseok doesn’t kiss him/hug him/or whatever and IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE.

ANY time hoseok or yoongi do ANYTHING together at ALL, people will ALWAYS push the narrative that hoseok, being the mean sadist he is, is 'hurting' yoongi for not returning his undying love or whatever. hoseok did a vlive where he made bracelets for all the members and he considered putting a cat charm on yoongi's but ultimately decided not to because he was having difficulty and oh my GOD sope stans twisted it into 'hoseok HATES yoongi, yoongi would have been so happy, he would have worn that all the time, hoseok isnt affectionate he hates being close with other people after all :(' which is LITERALLY not true because hoseok gives all his homies good night kisses but okay! whatever fits your narrative!

PEOPLE ACTUALLY HATE HOSEOK BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE OF A SHIP. BECAUSE OF THE MANUFACTURED NARRATIVE PUSHED ONTO HIM BY FETISHISTS SO HE COULD FIT INTO THEIR HETERONORMATIVE ‘TOP’ ROLE. not to be all wahh wahh hoseok is one of the least popular members BUT THIS IS LITERALLY A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

everyone """headcanons""" hoseok to be a top so they will make him a MEAN HYPERMASCULINE person. everyone """headcanons""" yoongi as a bottom so they will make him a SOFT UWU HYPERFEMININE person. shippers are literally pigeonholing the two of them into fujoshi-esque roles for jack-off material.

anyways this all boils down to: gay fetishists will do anything, ANYTHING, to twist characters or real life fucking people to fit their heteronormative view of top and bottom. top=mean and masculine, bottom=soft and feminine. hoseok is a real life human being. yoongi is a real life human being. they both have real life human personalities, and yet shippers twist their personalities into the opposite to fit their narrative, to the point where nonshippers will genuinely view the two of them as something theyre not.

you have tons of armys that theorize that hoseok's happiness is just a mask he puts on to hide a cruel nature. on twitter. on youtube. in fanart and fanfiction. you have tons of armys that truly believe that, despite literally all the evidence, believe he hates being cute, he hates being happy, he hates the members, and hes secretly a dom daddy fuckboy who wants to bend yoongi over a table. hes a real life human being and fetishists doing their fetish thing has real life consequences.

the same is true for bottom!hoseok stans: they overexaggerate his more cutesy personality traits and he does have a 'feminine' figure i.e. he has a rly small waist but they will overexaggerate that as well and give him huge hips and its disgusting but dom!hoseok is far more frequent with far more devastating consequences so i used that as an example but they’re both bad.

people who """"headcanon"""" [like actually headcanon/firmly believe and not just joking or lighthearted] that members are gay will force these types of roles onto the members. if someone genuinely believes that like, yoongi is gay/bi/whatever, and then try to force this subby soft uwu persona onto him, they have no respect for gay people. they dont. gay people are simply objects for their fantasies. their view of gay people is so one-dimensional and so driven by fetishists’ ideas that its actually disheartening.

and god bitches will deadass be homophobic yet still ship real ass human idols. not just for bts specifically but all boygroup fandoms. sometimes when you search up an idol's name, [idol] gay will be trending--whether it be because of people saying "im gay for him" or whatever, and a LOT of cishet people will try 'clearing' the searches because being gay is bad or something. people normally ‘clear’ the searches if something like [idol fat] or [idol ugly] are trending, which im telling you so you know the context that people only clear the searches when bad things are happening.

[never forget that time 'jungkook gay' was trending and bitches were like "lets clear the searches!" but their pinned tweet said some shit like "sub jungkook x dom jimin coffee shop smut au thread 🌈". bitches also be like i cant be homophobic i ship taekook]

and hoseok and yoongi arent the only ones affected ! we could get into why namjoon and jin (another popular ship) are often assigned 'dad' and 'mom' respectively, or the fact that gay fetishists not only twist members' personalities to fit their ship narrative, but will also force tropes onto them i.e. taehyung/jungkook shippers who will literally demonize jimin and call him a slut or say that he's trying to 'get in the way of' of taekook or 'steal' taehyung/jungkook but thats a whole DIFFERENT rant baby! racism/asian fetishism is also definitely a present factor in all of this but this focus was primarily on gay fetishism and heteronormativity.

oh my god i could also get into the severe transphobia/trans fetishism in this fandom too but this post is already long enough as it is

tl dr: gay fetishists will fetishize real life people and it has actual real life effects and we should ban straight women from shipping mlm

[eradicatetehnormal]

Thinking About Soriku

While it's no longer my OTP, SoRiku is and likely always will among my favorite KH ships. I admit that part of that is because I went in with a bias, due to a fan comic type thing that I read, prior to finishing the first KH game. After playing the games and seeing the community I shipped it more.

To be completely honest though, I didn't really see the ship outside of THE scenes in KH2 and through that symphony of sorcery scene in DDD. It was when I interacted with the community more that I realized how much there was to the ship. How they pointed out details like Riku technically sharing the paopu with Sora and that being the keychain on the combined keyblade dubbed "the gayblade" by the community. How jealous Riku acted in KH1 while suspiciously being more focused on one-upping sora than actually saving Kairi. How Riku did everything in his power to make sure Sora can come back safely in KH2 and 179 days, and of course the entirety of how their relationship is portrayed in DDD, with how Sora is disappointed with having to be separated from Riku and Riku always talking about Sora with almost nothing but positive things to say. All the other pieces of evidence that could point to hints of romantic attraction. From what I hear, people having a better understanding of the ship after interacting with the community is actually kinda common.

Soriku is one of those ships where the implications are subtle. If you're not looking for it, it's blink and you miss it, outside of a couple of stand-out scenes. If you ARE looking for it, it's extremely obvious to the point of almost coming off as intentional, especially post KH2 if you're looking at it from Riku's pov. I bet it's the work of the event planner:

Here's like, the thing with the community though. It's been at odds with a certain other group of shippers and they go at it A LOT, and it can make the community unbearable to be in sometimes. Not to mention how oversensitive some members of the community can be and how unwilling some of them are to live up to their past. The past of Sorikus being yaoi-obsessed fangirls who wrote and drew smut is real is very real and is a legacy that still lives on, even if it's not as bad as it used to be. There were consequently, children who saw that content. I understand Sorikus not wanting to acknowledge that past because

A. a lot of them consider it something that was a part of their cringy teen years and don't want to acknowledge it

and

B. Many Soriku shippers are genuinely queer and either aren't responsible for that content or fit into the prior category

And to be fair, a lot of the times when Kaisos bring this up, they do tend to have bad intentions and try to dismiss their own homophobic behavior, but at the same time if the yaoi side goes unacknowledged, especially when it comes to the older fan content, then it does seem like we aren't owning up to the fact that some of us are fetishy and it can leave and unwanted mark on the community. Also, yeah, going back to what I said earlier. Some of us are over-sensitive and do have a habit of calling people homophobic for saying that Kairi is Sora's most important person on their own platforms, and that's an issue too.

That being said, despite the community I still like the ship and it is still an S-tier pair for me, not GOD-TIER, but S-tier. When I actually remember how good their relationship is in the series, and good some of the fan content is, I can't bring myself to hate it.

Here's the other thing though. What if it actually happened? What if the series ended with Sora and Riku in an embrace saying that they'll always love and be there for each other, and then a strongly implied off-screen kiss? Regardless of how people feel about it, or what the intentions on Square and Disney's part, Sora and Riku ACTUALLY getting together would be a huge fucking deal. Not just for the KH community but for JRPGs and gaming in general. Hell, it'd be a huge mark in Disney history, as they would be among the few confirmed MAIN LGBTQ+ characters in a Disney property. Because of that people. will. riot. There will be many calling it the product of an agenda. There will be idiots saying that this ruined their childhood (which honestly if THAT's their argument, they didn't have a childhood worth ruining) and there will be people angry at Disney and ALL OF JAPAN for "forcing" children to see homosexual content. Probably giving prejudiced conservatives who like to be controversial, leeway to the yaoi argument as means of racism and homophobia. There's also the question of narrative meaning in Kingdom Hearts. First off there's the obvious, which is the writers will have to address Sora's relationship with Kairi else it feels disingenuous, and that can get messy rather quickly, especially because a lot of Kairi's relevancy is linked to her relationship with Sora. Pairing him with Riku can risk undermining his relationship with Kairi and if she doesn't do anything with Aqua and the other characters, can reduce her down to nothing but wasted potential, nostalgia, a cute design, and a cool backstory. As sad as it is, a big part of her appeal is her romantically coded relationship with Sora.

The series has always been about friendship first and foremost before everything else, even if it does value other types of relationships. Sora and Riku are considered by the creators, to be what the series is all about. What does it say about the power of friendship if the two leading characters were in love the entire time? This is less of a narrative issue with Kairi because she was never portrayed to be Sora's friend. She was always written to be a love interest to him in some way. Whereas with Riku, he was always written to either be Sora's rival, or embarrassingly close "friend", at least on a surface level. Sora and Riku getting together romantically could work to undermine the theme of friendship being the most powerful form of magic. Both Kaisos and Soriku's would probably just say "WELL IT CAN BE ABOUT BOTH", but part of what makes it so special in the eyes of many people is that it's NOT about both. That it consistently keeps its friendship theme and never safely comes out of it by making overly big moments with the love interest (except for Kairi single-handedly being the most important person to Sora. Why wouldn't it be Kairi AND Riku). So that initial message getting underplayed can risk taking the series down a peg for a lot of people.

[silentghosttimez]

Rant abt Youtuber stans on twitter dot com bc holy shit WHY are they like this

I hate youtuber stans so fucking much like how are y’all so extremely toxic, annoying, gross, obsessive, and fetishy all at the same time?? First it was Corpse and many of you fetishizing him for his voice and hand alone like you’ve never heard a deep voiced man before in your fucking lives and making him trend every day for just one word. Y’all immediately attack people for saying his music is ass or that y’all are annoying which only further proves some points that y’all are toxic. Y’all are also creepy and gross af for shipping him, a straight man, with other guys that are also straight and writing your fantasies in fanfics and through drawings.

You Dream stans are fucking worse than the Corpse ones, drawing porn of minors, knowing full well these people ARE minors yet doing it anyways. Also drawing porn of “anti dream” minors just to spite them is incredibly gross and not legal. Making annoying tags trend instead of real important news just to piss people off because you think its hilarious. And also fetishizing once again and having very creepy fantasies about Dream and his friends. Also Apparently people are fucking HARMING themselves for him too, like why are you doing this?????????? Like this is awful and many people are also drawing GORE of Dream which is extremely triggering and disgusting

Quackity stans are some of the ones that get to me the most. I used to be a normal sane Quackity enjoyer back when he was doing non minecraft content. But the last time I was in a stream I saw chat talking about how he looked like Yoon Bum from the manhwa Killing Stalking and trying to get him to look it up. Apparently recently his chat was talking about how he was a bottom and a bottom for George even though he and the other guy are definitely straight and even if they weren’t it would be very fucking disgusting what the chat was saying and fetishizing about anyways. Like I used to enjoy Quackity’s content but stans like that are genuinely ruining the experience for me. Also forgot to mention there’s porn of him too??? 

Like at this point Stan has reached that point in its time where its started to circle back around to its original definition

Also breif mention of Technoblade bc I used to watch him a bit as a kid and holy shit seeing shit like this just makes me feel bad for him too

[opalai-pixel-witch]

Merry christmas pal! ^^

“the idea of War with a kitty companion is sooooo cute ;;u;;”

War usually works outside, so if she sees a kitty, she will pet it, it´s a very cute and weird image: a skeleton with weapons that was killing someone a few seconds ago, stops short and walks towards a kitty to pet it X3

“I don’t feel bad for him at all, he killed Ramsey and tortured Balder and tried to hurt my son so he gets no sympathy from me >:|”

He wanted us to dislike him, how dare you hurt our bois?! >:,v

“Aha, that makes sense >.> So maybe people are giving them to him less because he’s Death and more because he sucks at being Death? :P”

I wouldn´t say he sucks being Death, he doesn´t matter directly, you know, the working conditions are very bad, that is, no motivation to work, also that his work is boring, if Death would do his job well, almost never he would come out of hell since he only has to guide the lost souls in the Hell

“Oddly enough, I don’t think he has a scythe at all in MS…I wonder why :o”

I guess they wanted to get out of the stereotype of Death, Idk

“Once again, your drawings are absolutely amazing!!!! I looove the one with Balder and Ramsey, sooo cute >u> And it’s interesting to see Famine off-duty too o.o”

Thanks a lot! Your drawings are great too! I saw the one with Milky replacing Sam in the robotic suit and Death looks very cute, it makes me want to touch his face, but he has no face XD So I better hug him, he looks so cute! X3 I love this boi! I don’t think I show it XD

I really liked the Bjorn and Pesto dolls, and I loved the comic where Pesto rips off Bjorn’s arm and she doesn’t understand what happened and Bjorn is there like: “Not again… :T ”

And I love Pesto and Bjorn Halloween Hustle/Holiday Hustle drawing X3 ♥ ♥ ♥

And speaking about drawings (I noticed that you like Milky a lot (by the way, how many fictional boyfriends do you have? XD), and there is a drawing where I put him as the bad guy in the story, but it’s not that I don’t like him, but I see him wanting to avoid the apocalypse, and the only way to avoid the apocalypse is to eliminate the horsemen, and well, there came that scene that appears in Helluva Boss and it seemed perfect, weird things, I don’t know XD):

https://sta.sh/22aj2xyaqwj3?edit=1

“Sometimes I wish that Helheim Hassle had a more popular fandom

But then I think about all the absolutely cursed shit that could happen

And then I think “yeah, this is okay” ”

I also think it would be fun to see more Perfectly Paranormal fans and then I remember fandoms like Villainous, Invader Zim, Eddsworld, where there are so many people, that it´s extremely toxic and uncomfortable to be there, it’s like the most important thing there is the sexual orientation of the character and not its personality or its role in the story, I like what you do, which is more based on friendship and you respect the personality of the characters, I remember that once I found an user who said he had drawings +18 from HH, I’m glad he respected the rules and didn’t post them, I want to continue seeing my bois like cute little characters :3

--------

Helloooo! Thank you so much!! Same to you, my friend! ^___^ May today be a fantastic one for you!

Ahh, I see o: I kinda wanna draw War with a bunch of cats now, but I’m afraid I’m not too good with drawing animals ;;o;;

So not cool of him >A>

Ah yeah, that’s true, my apologies o.o That also makes sense, it probably didn’t go with the feel they were trying to achieve either?

I’m glad you liked them!! Yeah, I’m not sure what compelled me to make that one :P Death is to you what Bjørn is to me, it would seem |D

Thank you!! I was a bit worried that a PP/LBP crossover would be weird…LBP fans coming across those pics in the tags must be so confused at the whole arm-being-ripped-off thing >o>

Ahahahaha! I’ve made it quite obvious >///> (To answer your question…4 or 5 o///o)

That’s an interesting concept! A heroic antagonist Milky sounds super cool :o Honestly I’m really curious about what Milky’s deal is and I hope we’ll get more info on him in the next game!! And it would be cool if he discovered how the system in Hell really worked and maybe realized that the horsemen really aren’t inherently evil and are just trying to do their jobs (except maybe Famine, his intentions are…debatable >_>)

Big fandoms seem to be a blessing and a curse, it would seem o.o I’m more worried about the type of content that might come up if it became more popular, I don’t wanna find any fetishy NSFW fanfiction about it >A> But I’m really happy to hear that you like what I do! To be honest there are times where I feel like I don’t really fit in well with the fandom (like I don’t “belawng” if you will :P) so I’m glad that that’s probably not the case! I enjoy seeing what you make too, as well as talking and sharing headcannons and stuff with you ^_^

[thecorteztwins]

🔥 villains. 🔥 the hellfire club 🔥the difference between naive and unintelligent characters

Welp, this all got STUPIDLY LONG and I’m really sorry. Under a cut because HUUUUUGE.

🔥 villains.There’s just been a robbery! All the jewels in the museum’s vault have been stolen! The culprits are….Sabretooth and Magneto!Yeah, that doesn’t sound right, does it? Thievery isn’t really something either of them do, they’re not bank robber or cat burglar types at all. And Magneto’s not a fan of Sabes to my memory, it’s unlikely he’d work with him unless it was essential to his ACTUAL goals…which this isn’t. But hey, they’re both bad guys, so they must do ALL the bad things! No matter what it is, it’s in-character if it’s evil or unlawful, right?This is the logic that I see running both often in fandom, and also sometimes with canon writers. There’s a mentality that if someone is villainous or bad in ONE way, then they must be villainous or bad in ALL ways. I think there’s always been this misunderstanding, as people do tend to think in black and white a lot, but I think it’s also increased with the rise of purity culture in Tumblr, where people/characters/works are All Good or All Bad, and if the bad guys aren’t depicted as 1000% heinously evil then it’s APOLOGISM. An example in RP would be that more than once I’d had people expect Fabian to be a racist. I can see why, given that he expresses sexism, classism, a bit of ableism, and disgust with physical mutations. But not only does he never express racism, he never expresses racism DESPITE AMPLE OPPORTUNITY. Think about it—his main antagonists are Magneto (Jewish) and Quicksilver (Jewish and Romani), he once personally fights Bishop (Black and Indigenous Australian) one on one, he’s on one team with Shinobi (half white, half Japanese), and his allies/underlings in the second-gen Acolytes included people who are African American, Moroccan (and Muslim-coded), and Inuit. And he never, ever, EVER even THOUGHT anything related to race (or religions that are usually implicitly tied to race) about ANY of them. Given how blatant his other prejudices are, I think he would very much let the reader KNOW if he were racist, anti-Semitic, etc. An example in canon…look, I’m sorry to bring up this dead horse again, but it is the best example that I presently have—Sebastian Shaw making the “women’s work” comment. As with Fabian, I get why it makes sense on the surface. He’s a powerful man, the proverbial rich old white guy, and he’s part of an organization where women walk around in lingerie as a general rule. It seems like it makes sense, it does, I grant that. But then if you actually look at his history…for 40 years of canon, he’s been allies and enemies with many powerful women, and never made a remark about their gender, never relegated lesser or menial tasks to them, never treated any of them differently as partners or foes, he actually never even flirts with any of them, be they opponents or partners in crime  (except that ONE issue when Emma is in Storm’s body and he kisses her…yeah that was a weird issue, why does a telepath need a gun to switch bodies?) Which is pretty unusual for a male Claremont villain. And he actually reacts with “I…see.” the one time a comrade makes a genuinely sexist remark. He doesn’t agree with him, he’s more like “wow ok I can’t believe he said that but I guess I’ll let it go since I want to recruit him” So, it’s actually VERY odd for him to suddenly say something like that, once you know the character. Especially since, like Fabian, he had TONS of opportunity in the past and he’s also not a character that most writers want to seem sympathetic or likeable. So it’s unlikely the writers were just trying to make him look good by playing down some secret sexist tendencies all this time or something. It’s more likely he just doesn’t have them BUT IS STILL A HORRIBLE PERSON! He just doesn’t need to be horrible in every way! Most people, even the MOST terrible, aren’t horrible in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE.That’s also why I try to avoid having Fabian being too homophobic (beyond “I can convert lesbians”) or transphobic, despite the fact that I *could* justify it (since those things are very intertwined with sexism)—because he’s awful enough. Giving him additional bigotries just seems stupidly redundant and cheap. Especially since I think people actually hate a bigoted character more than they hate a murderer; like I feel like if Duggan ever graduates to Shaw making a racist or homophobic remark, I might have to close his blog, but it’s fine to have blogs for fictional serial killers. By the same token, a villain having good traits doesn’t somehow eliminate their bad ones, especially if the good and bad traits are unrelated to each other. A mass murderer supervillain is not “actually a good guy deep down” because he loves his family; it’s actually VERY common for even genocidal dictators to care for their own. Hell, not to go all Godwin, but Hitler was an animal-lover and had a beloved dog. You can certainly point to good traits to show that a villain isn’t ALL bad (which as I just said, I support) but not being “all bad” isn’t the same as “actually a good person and just misunderstood!” Like, Shaw being an egalitarian in a lot of regards or was good to Madelyne Pryor or loved his father, doesn’t change he’s a heartless, morally bankrupt monster who abused his son and sold out an entire oppressed species (his own, no less) for his own financial gain. Mystique is an incredibly complex character, far more so than Shaw, but her love for Destiny and Rogue and many of her other good points don’t change that she hunted down other mutants for the government, abused her human son for not being a mutant, has committed rape by deception numerous times (though I think that’s due to the writers not realizing that’s a thing), constantly tries to manipulate her daughter’s life and choices, and I’m pretty sure I recall an issue where she framed a guy for domestic abuse just for funsies?Basically, villains are people. They have individual different traits and beliefs and motives, and those things will drive them towards individual different types of villainy. One villain probably won’t do the same kind of villainy that another does. Likewise, someone being a shitty person in one way, or many ways, doesn’t mean they will be in ALL ways. Pointing this out isn’t the same thing as denying their flaws or defending them, but some people do do this and that’s wrong too. Nuance needs to be allowed for. Pointing out Shaw isn’t awful in every way doesn’t mean I think he’s a misunderstood woobie whose crimes should all be forgiven. Pointing out Mystique has done awful shit doesn’t mean I think she’s pure evil and all her complex points should be ignored. It just means I don’t think characters should be strawmanned by fans OR writers as paragons or demons, especially when it contradicts what canon has actually established (with the caveat that canon is dumb sometimes too, and also some characters canonically ARE one extreme or the other, but I’m talking about ones who AREN’T)🔥 the hellfire clubI’ll give two on this! One is “unpopular” just in the sense it’s not something I’ve ever heard anyone express, but I’ve never heard an opinion in opposition to it either. The other is “unpopular” in that it does directly contradict a popularly held opinion.The first is that I think it’s stupid that Grant Morrisson made The Hellfire Club into a strip club, and it’s stupid that writers since depicted it this way. The Hellfire Club is shown in the 80s and 90s as being, first and foremost, an elite social club for the wealthiest and most powerful people in society. It’s basically a big posh country club, and most of its members are just regular people. Super duper rich people, but still normal people, lots of old money and new money and big business owners and politicians and probably royalty/nobility. Most of what they’re doing is big fancy, stuffy galas and balls, that kind of thing. But under the surface, it’s hinted that there is indeed a much more sexual underside to it. The female staff wear very fetishy maid costumes, the female Inner Circles literally have dominatrix lingerie as their getups, and while we actually never see what goes on beyond the closed doors in the 80s, nor was anything directly stated, the hints are definitely there that it’s as libertine in the private rooms as they are prim and proper in the ballrooms. We don’t know WHAT exactly is happening, only that it’s dark and decadent and surely sexual in some kind of “abnormal” (read: kink shaming) way.And then it turns out it’s just a strip club where the dancers wear corsets? Really? REALLY? I’m sorry, you expect me to belief that these oh-so-forbidden and secretive sexual delights that are available only to the richest and most powerful people in the world are…a TITTY BAR WITH NO ACTUAL TITTIES EVEN OUT???? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! It’s so fucking juvenile! It feels like something a 13 year old made up while trying to come up with the mos edgy, shocking, “sexy” thing he could. It just…doesn’t work. It doesn’t work firstly because it completely took away the whole “upper class veneer” that is as much an essential part of the HFC as the sex. In fact, I think more so. Writers, artists, and fans all like to focus on ZOMG THE SEXY COSTUMES but thematically speaking, I think the fact it’s an elite organization exclusive to the super-wealthy is much more important; that should be what they’re really about as villains, but writers end up focusing way too much on the shock value of the kink, and that’s how you wind up with stuff like this. The second reason it doesn’t work is that…it isn’t even shocking. When what they were doing was kept hidden, the reader could imagine no limit of decadence and depravity. When it’s revealed, and revealed as something that’s frankly super and common and TAME (seriously, strip clubs aren’t edgy these days) that you can get anywhere else, you’re left wondering why exactly anyone gives a shit about being in the HFC if this is all it really is? We should NEVER get to see what the HFC patrons truly do in private, and we should definitely never get shown that it’s just watching a woman pole dance with Victorian underwear on. That doesn’t make the HFC look sexual, it makes them look like PRUDES!Honestly, I do actually love the sexy sinful decadent aspect, but it’s overtaken the “extremely rich and powerful people trying to rule the world from behind the scenes through political and economic manipulation” aspect (which is far more interesting and villainous) that I kind of wish sometimes they had been created without the kink or colonial cosplay aspects, and instead had just worn some 80s powersuits.Now, here’s the “unpopular as in contradicts the popular” opinion. I see the Hellfire Club described a lot, in canon and fandom, as an organization of powerful MEN, as a bunch of MEN who just want to control others, as a BOY’S club…but aside from Sebastian Shaw, all the most prominent and effective members of the Club have been women? I mean, think about it. The names most synonymous with “Hellfire Club” in fandom are Emma Frost, Selene, Jean Grey as Dark Phoenix, and Sebastian Shaw. Shaw’s the ONLY dude that really gets any focus from writers OR fans; the women are almost always utilized more by writers and remembered more by fans. Heck, in the London Branch of the Hellfire Club, NONE of the male members of the Inner Circle even got NAMES, while ALL the women did. Now, of course, individual women in an organization being successful in said organization and beloved by fans/writers, doesn’t mean the organization itself can’t also be sexist. And like most people, the disparity between the costumes of both the Inner Circle and the mere staff does lead me to believe that it was probably founded and run only by men originally, and I bet women probably weren’t even allowed in for a long time (especially given that it was established in the 1700s) But that’s my HEADCANON. That’s what I EXTRAPOLATE. But what’s actually on the page IN THE PRESENT is women that are on equal footing with men, or superior to them. They’re not just simply ALLOWED in the Inner Circle, they’ve been dominating it from the first appearance with Emma ruling it alongside Shaw over Leland and Pierce, and then Selene coming in to challenge Shaw and Emma (with Shaw being terrified of her) in a way that none of the other members (all male—Leland, Pierce, Von Roehm) could. Gender is never brought up by anyone, even the most despicable male HFC members like Donald Pierce. So while I believe it was founded by sexist men, the Inner Circle seems pretty egalitarian now.But of course, there’s the costumes. I absolutely think it’s a sexist setup that the men get to wear (super ugly) period cosplay while the women are in fetish lingerie. It seems to be the standard uniform, and the fact that they haven’t CHANGED it shows that there’s definitely still some sexism.Except…it doesn’t seem to be a rule in-universe that the women HAVE to wear them? We actually see female members of the HFC, such as Selene, wearing clothing other than that while hanging out there; there’s actually a scene wear Selene is wearing pants and a sleeveless turtleneck with gloves. Maddy also wears a lot of black leather when she’s a member, but it doesn’t look like the Hellfire Club ladies getup, it looks like all the other stuff she was wearing in the 90s. And when Selene, Emma, etc., AREN’T in the Hellfire Club…they often still dress exactly like that, or in a similiar manner. I think it’s pretty clear that no one is MAKING them wear the uniforms, they just LIKE them, they’re probably “encouraged but optional” or something like that. And Emma even has that WHOLE DAMN SPEECH about how this is her armor, how it empowers her, etc. That said, while I don’t think any other CHARACTERS are making these women dress like that, I do think the writers/artists are. If a real woman made the speech that Emma did, I’d be like “ok sure, you go girl, do what feels empowering for you”. But Emma ISN’T a real woman. Every word in her mouth in that panel is being put there by Chris Claremont, a horny man with a dominatrix fetish who is trying to justify it by selling it as feminist. That is what it is. But just because that’s the case on a meta level…on an in-universe level, no one makes these women dress like this, and that’s very evident, and while the way they’re treated by writers/artists is definitely affected by them being women, the way other characters, including the Hellfire Club men, treats them, isn’t. At least not til shitty recent stuff. (I’ve seen some people think SHAW made the women dress like that….yeah, sure, like he could make SELENE do anything? He’s completely afraid of her but somehow can make her wear something she doesn’t want? Emma and Selene dress like that no matter where they are and whether they’re presently HFC members or not, but somehow he’s making them do that? HOW DOES ANYONE GIVE THIS GUY THAT MUCH CREDIT?)Basically, I think people are TRYING to be feminist, but it often ends up feeling like SEXISM to me? Because it’s totally ignoring and erasing the power and agency that these women exert in this organization, and often even claiming that it’s actually the men who have all the control, when aside from Shaw it’s usually the ladies running the show. It just seems disrespectful to me. It’s like, as much as people are claiming to hate a lack of agency for female characters, they seem more comfortable with that idea than a situation where women actually HAD it. Maybe it’s because they’re villains, maybe it’s because the costumes really are distracting and unequal no matter how the writers try to justify it (again, I wish they’d just gone with business suits), but there seems to be an overall fandom determination to insist on women like Emma Frost and Selene as victims or simply accomplices to a greater (male) villain, rather than embracing them as the Top Tier Bad Bitches they were/are, and, again, that seems more sexist to me than not. But I worry people will think I’m sexist if I say that. But you know me, you know I LOVE agency for female characters, and how I rail against it when see them ACTUALLY lacking it in comics, so you know it’s not that. I think it’s just a part of the rise in purity culture that even “progressive” people would rather see a woman forced or coerced to be a victim than choose of her own volition to be a villain and be GOOD at it :/🔥the difference between naive and unintelligent charactersWell, firstly, obviously there IS a difference. Naivete is just a lack of experience or learned knowledge, neither of which has anything to do with intelligence. A naive character may make mistakes in a new situation based on their lack of knowledge about it, and that may LOOK stupid to those who have this knowledge, but it’s not the same thing. I think we can agree that, say, Tony Stark isn’t stupid, but if he had to navigate in the wilderness, he might do things that experienced hikers and campers and outdoors people know are SUPER BAD IDEAS. Because this isn’t something he knows about or has experience with.So, I think considering characters who are new to this world (as is common in comics—lots of people from other dimensions, planets, and times) as stupid because they don’t know a lot of things we take as a given, is erroneous. I think it’s pretty common for fandom to look at, say, Longshot or Thor, and deem them as basically being idiots because they’re not familiar with their new environments…when in fact, we’d all be acting the same if we wound up in Asgard or Mojoworld. Not that there’s not other reasons they can’t be idiots, but not knowing what a toaster is isn’t one of them.The big difference is that naivete is a temporary state, and I think both writers and fans forget that. The character’s naivete will gradually decrease as they learn more and more. So if you’re writing an Avengers fic where Thor has been on Earth for five years so far, he probably knows what a toaster is, can order normally at a restaurant, isn’t confused by normal sights like cars or traffic lights or computers, etc., but could still be confused if he went to a Midgardian country with very different cultural norms than the ones he’s learned in the United States. Likewise, I can keep Malcolm perpetually baffled by new worlds in RP since time is kinda wobbly here and can be static or move forward or back as we like, but if I were writing him in a linear story, he would have to learn along the way about the technology and norms of other worlds as he experiences them; if he didn’t learn, THEN he would be unintelligent, not just naive. If he touches a hot stove once because he didn’t know what it was, and it burns him, that’s naive. If he touches it twice to test if it does the same thing again, that’s curious and maybe even smart, despite looking stupid to others. If he keeps doing it every day by accident, then THAT’S an idiot. Also, even a naive character may still be able to deduce that certain things are bad ideas, dangerous, etc. For instance, let’s say my character is a normal everyday girl sucked into a fantasy realm. She doesn’t understand the language, and the people around her don’t look like anything humanoid, but when all of them go quiet and still when a larger, more decorated one enters, and they all give it a lot of space, she can probably deduce that this is someone of great importance, and she probably should do what the others are doing and not risk pissing it off. She may know nothing about these beings or their customs, but she still can use her powers of observation and common sense. It may end up being a TOTALLY wrong move—for instance, maybe newcomers are meant to come introduce themselves to the leader by touching them–but it was a good, sensible guess. Whereas if she’d just walked up to the being and given it a good swift kick, that’d be unintelligent to an almost unbelievable point, and no amount of “she’s just naive!” could excuse it.Oh yeah, and optimism doesn’t automatically equate to naivete either. To be honest, I think that extreme cynicism is just as naive in its own way as thinking everything is sunshine and daisies, and I’d like to see this explored more in fiction rather than the perpetual “happy positive people are dumb and naive and just don’t know better, whereas the grumpy cynics are always smarter and more experienced” that media is so fond of.TL;DR Not only is naivete not unintelligence, it also should be a temporary state. It’s definitely cute to watch a naive character stumble around their new experiences, but in gaining those experiences, they’re going to become less naive, and make few mistakes. Naive characters should also still be capable of acting in ways that are sensible, even if they end up being wrong for the new situation. And being positive doesn’t automatically equate naivete either, nor does negativity equate to the reverse (and can be naive in itself)

[asphodelical]

The Great Anime Rewatch of 2022 - Part IV

Bokurano

First watched/read: October 2011 Rewatched/reread: June 2022

Original rating (manga): 9 New rating (manga): 6

Original rating (anime): 8 New rating (anime): 6

Of all the Evangelion-spawns, I distinctly remember liking Bokurano the most. I also remembered that the anime and manga are two very different creatures, but only one crucial change stuck with me these last eleven years. So I ended up revisiting both versions. Let’s start with the manga, since I know I liked that version more back in 2011. 

One of the things I realized is that Bokurano’s storytelling doesn’t work on me anymore. We only learn everyone’s backstories after they’re selected to be the next pilot, giving us only a few chapters to get to know each kid. For a lot of people, this is a surefire way for an emotional gut punch. But I still feel like I don’t know them well enough to care. Bokurano also doesn’t exactly focus on the relationship the kids have with each other, and I wish it did. It also doesn’t allow the cast to grieve or cope with the continuous losses of their friends. There were also a couple of things that really rubbed me the wrong way and/or felt very dated. I.E. Maki’s tired ass story of trying to be more feminine, and the author putting her in the most inappropriate-borderline fetishy leotard. Don’t do that shit. Onto the anime. 

It’s always interesting when a director is helming a project where they have no love for the source material. — Bokurano’s anime took more time with the kids and their backstories. A lot of them changed, and some got way more screentime than others. But it occasionally fixed the problem I had with the manga—the one where it didn’t focus on the relationship between all the main kids. This was exemplified in episode 11, where all the female pilots got together in one scene. It was small, but it’s more things like that that I wanted. It still doesn’t allow the pilots to grieve/cope over the continuous losses, but at least the cast interacts more. 

On the other hand, it adds a lot of generic nameless politicians talking about Zearth that I’m sure no one actually cares about. 

Unsurprisingly, the CG doesn’t hold up at all. The music was often distracting, and some of it was just bad. The bookend songs by Ishikawa Chiaki are still great though. 

Looking at both versions of Bokurano, my opinions on them clearly worsened. The manga is more focused, but formulaic. The anime spends more time on the group dynamic, but has lots of padding with politics and added characters I don’t care about. I’d say the anime over the manga though, since the two final pilots get way better endings than their manga counterparts. But overall, I just feel the same way about both, with no clear winner. And that’s kind of sad. 

__________________________________

Steins;Gate

First watched: 2011, original airdate Rewatched: June 2022

Original rating: 8 New rating:  7

Let me start with this: the archetype and term “trap” is woefully outdated and transphobic. I haven’t been involved with the anime/manga fandom in many moons, but I hope that the term is no longer used. Hopefully the derogatory interpretation of the archetype is also on its way out, too. Onto the assessment.

Time travel stories are almost always about trying to fix the mistakes the time traveler made by accident. Steins;Gate is no exception, but this time a portion of the cast is actually intelligent: Kurisu, Daru, Suzuha, and, most importantly,  Okabe. 

Okabe is such a strong protagonist and he’s a joy to watch. Watching his mad scientist persona merge with his actual self as he jumps back in time more and more is terrifying and I love it. Since Steins;Gate is a VN adaptation, we’re pretty much glued to Okabe’s POV for the entire show. I don’t mind since he’s great, but it leaves no room to see any of the other cast members on their own, or interacting with each other when Okabe isn’t around. 

The other issue is that there are only a couple of other characters who are remotely interesting: Suzuha and Kurisu. Both of these girls have personalities and agency within the story. Suzuha has one of the strongest motives in the show, second to only Okabe. Faris and Ruka have understandable and relatable desires, but as characters they are throwaway. Moeka is the worst to watch—a girl so damaged that she’s a slave to someone she doesn’t know and only communicates with via texts. Daru is an otaku archetype and ruins his only emotional moment with his own pervertedness. 

And Mayuri…oh, Mayuri. She has no wants, goals, and little agency. I had absolutely no reason to care about her, and never understood why Okabe cared about her to such a great extent, aside from being childhood friends. The birth of Okabe’s mad scientist persona could’ve easily been changed to be a coping mechanism for his own grief.

The weakness of of being a harem VN adaptation really showed from episodes 17 and 18, when Faris and Ruka were throwing themselves at Okabe, and he was going on dates in back to back episodes. Of course Okabe genuinely likes both of them as friends, but he only did it so he could get them to willingly undo their own actions. For Faris, this means losing her dad, who died in an accident ten years ago. Faris loses all that time with her father who loves her, while the man himself never survives and sees his daughter grow up. In Ruka’s case, it means not being female anymore, and going back to being a boy. Imagine asking a trans person to go back to their pre-transition self. That’s really not it for me, chief. 

I really dislike the idea of someone trying to make others sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of one childhood friend/moeblob. “But wait, it’s also to prevent SERN from achieving world corporate domination!” Yes, it is. But Okabe specifically states he’s not doing all of this to save the world—he’s doing it to save Mayuri. 

Steins;Gate is a slow and deliberately paced anime. I had forgotten some of the reveals, and a lot of them still work. Its slow pacing also started to tire me out by the latter half. Overall, Steins;Gate is still one of the best VN adaptations out there. Its animation still looks fine, and the storytelling is more than competent. But the lack of depth/nuance in most of the cast, and the message of robbing others of their own happiness to save one person really does the show in. 

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Un-Go

First watched: December 2011, original airdate  Rewatched: June 2022

Original rating: 7 New rating:  5

I don’t have a lot to say here. The first two episodes are absolute garbage, while the rest of the mysteries are fundamentally uninteresting. All of the world building with the war didn’t work for me, and I couldn’t care less about the characters. Inga’s power feels more like a a video game mechanic than anything. 

__________________________________

Outlaw Star

First watched: I have no idea Rewatched: June 2022

Original rating: 8 New rating: 3

This one hurts. 

Outlaw Star feels like an embodiment of 90s anime, for better or for worse. The character designs and tropes are all things that feel like relics. (Aisha Clan Clan in particular.) There are lots of things that didn’t age well, like Fred. Wow, what a terrible gay stereotype character. But Outlaw Star is plagued with a lot of foundational problems: 

The story and pacing - The first four episodes are undoubtedly the strongest in my opinion. Quick pacing and lots of intrigue surrounding Hilda, the coolest character in the show. Then after episode four, when Hilda leaves the story, the tone and pacing are all over the place. I guess the central conflict was getting to the Galactic Leyline and discovering Melfina’s origins. But there’s a huge gap in the middle section where nothing relating to either of these things is brought up at all. It’s like the writers had a bunch of ideas on a dartboard and picked whatever they landed on. Most of the episodes have nothing of consequence occur. If something important does happen, it only takes up a few minutes of a full length episode. (I.E. Episode 18: we get some talk about the Galactic Leyline and the man behind Hilda’s death, and then we go to cringy space wrestling? What?) This leads into the other main problem I have: 

The characters - the central five cast members are not strong enough to carry the story when nothing of interest is happening. Their antics are dull, and we don’t really learn anything about anyone. Gene conquered his fear within the first third, and Melfina wanted to discover her origins. As for Jim, Suzuka and Aisha? I don’t know enough about their wants, needs, or fears to care. Aisha is a walking, talking stereotype, and Suzuka doesn’t fare much better. (Neither does Melfina, honestly.) No one really has an arc or tangible development. AH WHY? Why did we all think this was the coolest shit back then?

With all that negativity out of the way, I have to say I still really enjoy the music. The opening song is still an absolute banger, and the ending songs are still lovely. But if the opening and ending are where my enjoyment peak, that’s not a very good thing. Nostalgia absolutely did not cloud my judgement here. 

[kingkadence]

Aaa I had someone ask me the same question and I realized after reading people's posts that being 'anti' about a ship is different than just not liking a ship, 'anti' means you think its morally reprehensible or something and 'antis' are known for judging and attacking people over ships. I was using the anti label up until about a month ago but dropped it as soon as I figured that out. I guess the term for just not liking a ship is notp?

Here! Is basic guide to not liking a ship (all my opinions based on what I’ve read, y’all r free to think what you’d like)

Lvl 1 - “disliking a ship”

You see content for a ship, might make you uncomfortable or put you in a bad mood. Maybe you don’t have a particular reason, you may just not be fond of it. Or hey! Maybe you just never thought of the characters seeing each other that way. Most of the time you see it, it’s new, it’s foreign, and you just never imagined them together. With this, it’s common that after a while of exposure you might even like it after a while! Or even just have a neutral opinion. Ur dislike isn’t too serious, you don’t talk about it unless someone brings it up, you’ll scroll, you mind ya own.

Lvl 2 - notp

You see it and it makes you… hhhh internally. If someone posts this you might scroll or even go as far as muting posts or unfollowing. The ship described in one word for u is just “No.” for whatever reason it may be. It might be because you don’t like the character the other is paired with, you might think that the fan base behind the ship is gross, you might just hate both character but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows. Your resentment goes deep, and if you see someone post this kind of stuff, you will surely avoid it. You’ll go on a rant on how much you hate it if someone brings it up, not one that’s offensive, you’re just passionate with the hate you have for this ship. You might make bash edits or amvs of them. If a mutual posts this ship, you may grumble, you might say “I don’t ship this but the content is nice” ((heads up pls don’t do that it’s annoying and destructive to content creators))

Lvl 3 - ship hate

Definitely hitting a radical status but not there yet. It’s toxic, let’s just put it that way. You may not like the ship because it gets in the way of your otp, to you it may seemed forced in canon writing, you may even go as far as to say the ship is abusive, who knows it might be, but harassing other ppl over it,, isn’t abusive behaviour??? Lol ok. Anyway, you may have an account dedicated to how much you don’t like it, you will bring it up to people constantly to the point where others might say hey,,,, chill dude. You are VERY active in the discourse tag, you are sure to write your own opinions, very passionate, but very pushy. You may even comment on ships saying “ew gross, x ship for life!!” and you probably got into a fight in the comments at least once. You see an account post it, you block them. A mutual? You are VERY tempted to unfollow, if you haven’t already.

Lvl 4 - anti

This,,,, just oof,, you think the ship is LEGALLY an issue, very morally wrong or you just fucking hate the hell out of it bc it gets in the way of your ship and you’re grasping at straws to say why it’s toxic. (I actually was internally an anti for a while when I was like idk 14, suffered bhad from these symptoms, fun fact) you will go out of your way to voice your opinion, you will purposely message people telling them they’re disgusting calling them names, not even really justifying why it’s bad?? Telling ppl they’re fucked up……… doesn’t let ppl know why they’re fucked up but I mean go off. Anyway, you DEFINITELY have thought about running a hate account, you post other people’s art and content without crediting them, and proceed to hate on the content. Whenever the fandom is brought up you cannot CONTAIN your hatred for whatever discourse is going on. Let’s face it whatever resentment u got, it’s MUCH more chaotic than the love you have for your ship. Just down right negative all around. Explosive, unstable, if you don’t harass the people in the fandom, making them unsafe. (ie: sending gore pictures, death threats, making them and their followers WILDLY uncomfortable) you send it to the creators! You threaten the lives of people who make the show, you are disruptive, and literally have no personal boundaries, and you don’t give a shit about the writing, the plot, the developing of characters. You want your ship, or rather, you DON’T want other ships. To the point where human lives clearly don’t,,, matter to you????????? But cartoon ones do are you GOOD

(Imma do this one bc sometimes it’s okay to not like a ship!)

BONUS LVL - activist shipper

You don’t like this ship because it’s ACTUALLY hurtful and not because a ship is getting in the way (*ncest, p*dophillia, genuine abuse between these characters in canon etc) commonly antis will think they’re apart of this group, or this group will think they’re antis. Nnnno!pe! It is TOTALLY ok to dislike/hate these ships and think it’s insensitive to post things like this that may actually hurt people. I’m not gonna SAY which ships but if you’re shipping a 25 year old with a 10 year old,,,,,,,, u rlly gotta think,, about ur moral compass. ESPECIALLY if you’re sexualizing kids in your content. These people are commonly in discourse, but they voice why it’s bad, they voice their opinions RESPECTFULLY. Because AS SOON as you tell someone to die ur rlly pushing it. These people are here to educate, they’re not here to hurt. They want people to learn and grow and know what’s harmful and what’s not. They might get into an argument, nothing might change, but they’re happy knowing that they’re fighting for people who have been hurt bc of these topics and they’re not comfortable being silent about it.

-

Let me tell you, it’s ay okay to dislike and hate a ship. But don’t let it consume you, just like how you shouldn’t let ur otp consume you?? And if you see GENUINE bad happening in a fandom don’t be afraid to speak up, but be MINDFUL, RESPECTFUL, AND EMPATHETIC!! I am not on board with some of the ships ppl post but telling someone to die isn’t gonna help them learn what they’re doing is wrong. And if you don’t think you can PROPERLY TELL SOMEONE hey this content is hurtful, maybe,,,,,,, get someone else to do it,,,,,,, bc ur literally being just as harmful.

((Also while I’m on my soap box stop shipping abusive wlw/mlm JUST because they’re gay,,, that’s xtremely fetishy,, and as a gay guy I don’t approve :/))

Anyway, take this or leave this, just what I think

[kendrixtermina]

There is NOTHING positive about periods

I hate my period so much I mean the process itself is gross bothersome and useless but the worst part is being randomly more tired, lower on eneergy, less at sharp at concentrating etc. for several days

It’s humiliating almost every time without fail I end up thinking ‘Everything is terrible, I feel like shit, my life sucks’ and then the next day... bam surprise. 

& the worst is that society kind of doesn’t let you hate it. Aknowledge that it sucks & feels bad, and sexist pig guys that nothing out of your mouth has any value, but even so called feminists will go after you for suggesting that it is in any way bad or dirty. How is slimy ooze coming out of your orifices without your consent not gross or dirty? Nobody told me that. No one put that into my head. I can tell myself because I have EYES IN MY HEAD

It’s gross the same way that shit, piss and snot is gross. Oozing biological liquids is like the platonic ideal of gross

when I was a kid my father had this gross fetishy attitude towards it too like making a big deal of it, and demanding that we be happy & going on about how great it is since its “the miracle of life” or whatever

Funny coming from a guy who has never had to suffer through such nonsense interruptions in his life ever

I was told that at 11. When I wasn’t gonna have kids for 20 years if at all. Even if you have kids at an early age like, say, 22, that’s 9 years of grossness & pain before the possible plus sides appear. 

It’s like shit and piss, except that it is useless. At least shitting & peeing gets rid of waste products & toxins. Period is just gross with no benefits

I wish some scientist would find a way to switch it off without the hassle and risk of modern hormone contraceptives

It turns off in old ladies, right? So why can’t it be off RIGHT NOW I dont want it I never asked for it it is a hassle and a distraction and utterly pointless