#at the end of the day people love to hate so anyone with even a slight dislike towards Daniel is gonna take this and fuckin run with it

[scarlet-star-witch]

The moon and his sun (Part IV)

Aemond Targaryen x female reader

Summary: People would remember their story. Even decades after they were gone, Septa’s would tell young children about the one-eyed dragon prince and his sweet wife as if they were a part of a fairytale, too good to be true for the harshness real life possessed.

Aemond meets a young girl who quickly becomes his most cherished friend and changes the course of history.

Word count: 11.5 K

Warnings: Angst begins, still lots of fluff, smut (of course), Aegon still being an ass

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

~~

The court was in a frenzy.

The news of their betrothal spread through King’s Landing like wildfire. It was all anyone could talk about for days on end. Some felt vindicated, that the rumors they had been spreading for months had finally come to fruition, while others were skeptical, unsure of what such a sweet young girl saw in the surly one-eyed Prince. 

The gossip was never ending, with many speculating the couple had been consorting inappropriately in private. While many knew of Ixtal’s customs, that they weren’t as strict about their Ladies maidenhood as they were in the rest of Westeros, it didn’t stop the looks of indignation she received from certain members of the court who turned their noses up at the mere possibility she had sullied herself before her marriage.

While Aemond hated the speculation and had to be held back more than once from storming over to a group of tittering Ladies and threatening to take their tongues for daring to speak ill of his betrothed, she found it laughable. She had to remind her betrothed they weren’t exactly wrong. 

Their nights of pleasure together were only all the more exciting and mind blowing knowing they would have each other forever, that they no longer needed to fear what the future held. 

They could finally relax, they would soon be each other’s in the eyes of the Gods and no one could take that away from them. 

Their wedding was spared no expense. Lords and Ladies of great houses from across the realm traveled to the Capitol to witness the union of a Targaryen Prince and the daughter of the most prosperous house in the realm. 

Aemond paid no mind to the fanfare. All he cared about was her. 

He barely got to see her in the weeks leading up to their wedding, with her swept up with the Ladies of the court in dress fittings and as her family arrived at King’s Landing, she was rarely seen without her dear younger sister or mother at her side. 

The King demanded a three day tourney be held to celebrate, with lavish hunts and feasts raving practically each night. Aemond had never seen his father so excited and he knew it had little to do with him and all to do with his dear friend, the Lord of Ixtal, that their families would officially be uniting. 

He rolled his eyes at the whole affair. He just wanted to marry his love. He didn’t want all this attention and unnecessary flourish. 

She would laugh softly everytime he slunk into her chambers at night, her bright eyes alight with mischief, a delighted smile on her face at the annoyance on his.

“Couldn’t stay away?”

“You know I couldn’t.” He crooned, inhaling her scent as he hugged her tightly from behind. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“I am.” She answered with a blissful smile. “Are you?”

“I was ready to marry you years ago.” 

She practically swooned, leaning her head back onto his shoulder, her gaze filled with nothing but devotion. She never would have pictured this for herself. She never could have imagined she would be able to marry her best friend, that she would find a love so pure and so beautiful for herself. She didn’t think that kind of love even existed. 

“Everything seems so perfect.” She spoke softly, reveling in his embrace. 

He hummed in agreement, wishing they could go find a Maester now to perform a ceremony and bind themselves together. He didn’t want to wait another minute. He just wanted to be her husband. 

The next morning, the entire Keep was a flurry of activity. Maids scurried in and out of her chambers to prepare her, most desperate to catch a glimpse of the Island girl that would soon become a Targaryen princess. 

She sat nervously at her vanity, her hands fidgeting in her lap. 

Today was the day she would finally marry her best friend. It all seemed too good to be true, as though they had gotten away with some elaborate plan. 

“You look beautiful, my love.” Her mother spoke, her eyes already brimming my tears.

“I’m not even in my dress yet.” She laughed as her mother waved her off, wiping under her eyes as she had been doing all morning. 

To her left, Alicent stood, her demeanor much more reserved than that of her own mother and sister, who could barely contain their excitement. The Queen had yet to crack a smile since she had entered her chambers and had been silently picking out jewelry for her to wear, barely sparing a glance to her soon to be good daughter. 

A nervous lump grew in her throat. She didn’t have the best relationship with Aemond’s mother, even as children, the woman seemed disinterested in speaking more than a few words to her. She at least thought the day she wedded her son she’d try to bridge the gap between them, but it seemed she still had little interest. 

She didn’t seem all that thrilled her son was even getting married. 

The maids around her all gestured for her to stand and move towards the floor length mirror, their excited giggles growing in volume as her dress was brought forward. 

Her breath hitched. It was real. This was happening. 

Her heart was racing as the maids helped her dress, her eyes beginning to sting with the pressure to cry the happiest of tears. 

“I assume you know what is expected of you tonight.” Alicent’s voice broke through the throng of excited chattering, abruptly shattering the positive energy in the room. 

The way Alicent looked at her, so intently, almost judgmentally, made her want to shrink. She swallowed and nodded. 

She felt a hand at her shoulder, her mother’s presence steadily at her side.

“We have already discussed what her duty is tonight.” Her mother answered for her, her voice sounder stiffer than before. 

Her mother had been in King’s Landing barely a day before she figured out what her daughter and her betrothed had been up to for months. Aemond had been horrified when his future good mother blurted out their long held secret. 

She was sure he would be blushing for the rest of his life. Even after her mother laughed heartily and assured them she would never tell a soul, that she held no judgment for them, he still had trouble meeting her eye out of sheer embarrassment. 

With one look at Alicent, the Lady of Ixtal knew she would do whatever she needed to do, say whatever she needed to say, to not let the frigid woman before her try to sink her claws into her daughter. 

She would not ruin her daughter’s big day. 

 Alicent hummed, the sound neither that of satisfaction or disdain, and she remained quiet, though her critical eye never lessened. She had no compliments for the young girl who donned her beautiful, extravagant dress, she had no well wishes for the girl as her eyes brimmed with happy tears.

All Alicent could fixate on was how angry her father was at the turn of events. They had lost a monumental opportunity to gain allies due to the girl in front of her. She had bewitched her son, her uncivilized ways weakening Aemond’s sense of duty and proprietary. She never forgot how her son had stormed into her room, practically demanding a betrothal. It was so unlike him, not at all how he had been raised to act and she knew the Ixtal girl was to blame. 

All she could do was plaster on a fake smile and hope everything her father had worked on for years wasn’t all for naught. 

~~

She was a vision as she stepped out of the carriage, her pulse thrumming in her ears, her hands trembling in anticipation. 

In a matter of minutes, she was going to be married to the love of her life.

“Are you ready?” Her father asked, a soft smile on his face as he stared at his first daughter with barely contained emotion. She nodded eagerly, latching onto his arm, taking in a final deep breath before they stepped inside. 

The crowd of guests were in awe as she passed, though she could not spare a glance to any of the onlookers that seemed to swoon at the sight of her. Her gaze was locked onto the man at the front of the room, meeting his eye effortlessly.

Aemond had been watching the door and nothing else for the past few minutes, anxiously awaiting her arrival. The second she stepped inside, his breath had been stolen from him. 

He felt nervous flutters within him, as if he was once again that little boy who was in love with his best friend before he even knew what it meant to love someone. 

His vision blurred slightly as tears gathered in his eye at the sight of her, so beautiful, so perfect, his wife. 

They couldn’t take their eyes off each other as her father removed the cloak from her shoulders. Aemond felt his breath hitch at the sight of her in her dress, the shape of her body, the delicate silk outlining every curve he had spent many nights memorizing and worshiping. 

As he stood before her, placing the heavy Targaryen cloak over her shoulders, he breathed in her familiar scent, calming every one of his nerves. 

He took her hand, guiding her up the steps of the dais. No one said a word as he kept his hand in hers, the crowd was absolutely enraptured by the sight of them, the Ladies dramatically sharing looks of longing at the couple as neither one of them spared a glance to the Septon that began the service. 

They only had eyes for each other. 

No one could deny the love they shared. As they spoke the words that bound them together, their smiles dazzling, no one could deny this was a marriage of pure love. 

“I am hers and she is mine, from this day until the end of my days.”

The words left him with ease. He used to dread this moment as a child, hating the idea of being bound to a woman he didn’t know and didn’t care for for the rest of his life, purely out of duty. 

Now, he couldn’t imagine saying the words to any other person but the woman in front of him. The thought of spending the rest of his days with her, his love, brought him nothing but relief and endless happiness, a feeling he never pictured for himself. 

Since he lost his eye, since a piece of him had literally been taken from him, he had always felt slighted, but now, as the Septon announced their union, as he kissed her for the first time as his wife, he felt whole again. 

He was no longer that overlooked second son, he was no longer that scarred and feared man who longed for revenge. 

He was a husband, he was her protector, her friend, her love. He felt he finally had a meaningful purpose, one that meant so much more than the duty his family expected from him. 

The crowd cheered voraciously. It wasn’t often they got to witness a union so blessed by affection. 

Aemond kept his awed gaze on her as they made their way down the aisle, his hand clasped tightly in hers, paying no mind to anyone else around him. 

They could scarcely keep their hands from each other. 

During the feast, Aemond kept his hand on her thigh, his touch thankfully hidden by the long train covering the table. As both of their fathers gave speeches, spouting lovely rhetorics of family and peace, he couldn’t bring himself to listen to a word of it. 

His attention was focused solely on the woman beside him. His wife. 

He felt himself smiling just at the thought of it, that he could finally say the word. 

When the music started and they made their way to the floor to share their first dance, a moment Aemond had been dreading for weeks, he found he couldn’t care less that everyone’s eyes were on him. 

He realized nothing else mattered. Everything he thought would make him feel insecure wasn’t even a thought in his mind. He held her closely, his heart racing as if they were dancing for the first time, as if he was touching her for the first time.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much.” She spoke with a laugh.

“I have a good reason to smile.” He responded with a smirk as he twirled her. 

The guests couldn’t take their eyes off the couple as they danced. Most felt they were intruding on an intimate moment with how intently they gazed at each other, their love radiating from each of them effortlessly. 

They noticed how the couple sparsely ceased their touch from each other. The Lords present couldn’t help but feel slighted there would be no bedding ceremony. They were sure it would be a spectacle with how the Prince eyed his new wife with a hunger most men couldn’t conceive for their own wives. 

Aemond’s pout as his new wife accepted Helaena’s offer to dance, leaving him to sit by himself, would be fodder for most of the gossip the next morning. 

He watched her with a small smile, looking more at ease than the court had ever seen him, content at the mere sight of her delight as she twirled around with Helaena, their shared laughter ringing out louder than the music playing. 

He took a small sip from his wine, content to not drink much more, knowing he’d rather have a clear head for what the rest of the night held. He would finally take her as his wife, he would lay with her, spill his seed inside her without consequence. 

After tonight, her stomach could swell with his child and no one could say a thing. 

The thought made him desperate to drag her to their new shared chambers. He would be eager to see the end of the feast and lay with her for the rest of the night, but with how happy she was, he wouldn’t do a thing to take her away from it. 

As she twirled with Helaena, her head back, eyes closed, a picture of pure happiness, she suddenly lost her footing. She stumbled slightly, her eyes widening, but sturdy hands on her waist stopped her from falling to the floor. 

“Mind if I cut in?” 

She stiffened at the voice in her ear, turning to see Aegon’s smarmy smile. She wanted nothing more than to wrench his hands off her, but she couldn’t make a scene at her own wedding. If she displayed any ounce of discomfort by his hands, she was sure Aemond would forever be tainted as the man who killed his own brother on his wedding night.

“Aegon…” Helaena called out wearily, not wanting her dear friend to be subjected to her brother’s cruel games, though she didn’t have power in her own corner to derail him.

“It’s alright Helaena.” She assured her, giving her a weak smile to the Princess who eyed her worriedly for a moment before retreating back to the head table. 

She cleared her throat and stood stiffly, holding back a grimace as Aegon’s hand slipped around her waist, his other taking hers, his grip tight and domineering, as if he wanted to prove to her how much stronger he was than her.

“You were lucky my grandsire allowed this to happen so quickly.” He spoke blatantly as they began to dance. “I was hoping to expose your big secret to the court.”

She felt her insides twist. Knowing Aegon was aware of her and Aemond’s secret, of their sneaking around, had her wanting to retreat where no one would find her. Even now they were married, Aegon still had the power to destroy her reputation.

She just hoped he ruined his own before he had the chance to tear her down. 

“You think they would listen to the words of a drunken idiot?” 

His smile turned wicked, his disdain for her clear, though there was no denying the lust in his gaze as he looked at her. He didn’t have to like her to fuck her. 

“More than they would listen to a whore who spreads her legs for anyone.”

“You mean my husband?” She retaliated, her patience for him wearing thin. 

Aegon chuckled, though his bitterness was clear. He leaned in close, his nose almost brushing against hers. She jerked back, sending him a vicious scowl, all she could allow herself under the prying eyes that surrounded her. 

“You could have been mine.” He crooned, the wine on his breath making her feel nauseous. “Gods only know why you decided to settle for my twat of a brother. As if he could please you better than I could, as if he could fuck you the way I could. I bet you were the first woman he ever bedded.”

His words made her feel sick to her stomach as she staunchly looked past his shoulder, refusing to look him in the eye. She didn’t want him to know how much he could get under her skin. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“I would rather let the entire brothel of whores you sully yourself with flay every layer of my skin off slowly until I beg for death than ever crawl into bed with you.”

Aegon only smirked joyously.

“The mouth on you.” He admired with a shake of his head. “Such a shame it’s wasted on my brother.”

“Aegon.”

The stern voice of his brother made his eyes widen for a fraction of a second and he quickly schooled his expression, quickly removing his hands from his new good sister, plastering on a smirk so his brother wouldn’t see how successfully he could intimidate him.

She turned, meeting the questioning gaze of her husband. She nodded subtly, silently assuring him she was ok. 

He’d been chatting with her brother but the moment he spotted her in Aegon’s arms, he had abruptly given his well wishes to his new family and was quickly making his way to rescue her from his lecherous brother’s grip.

“Are you ready?”

She nodded eagerly, linking her arm through his, more than eager to say goodbye to the feast and make her way to bed with her new husband. 

“What, no bedding ceremony?” Aegon called out, forcing Aemond to send him a wicked glare. 

“Not if you wish to live, brother.” He spat and turned on his heel, desperate to get his wife far away from his depravity. 

He was more than thankful his good father had appealed to his father about doing away with the bedding ceremony. The Lord of Ixtal cared about his daughter too much to put her through that embarrassment. 

“Did he do anything?” He asked under his breath as they walked away, ignoring the cheers of congratulations from the guests he cared little for.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

Aemond’s jaw clenched in anger, his instincts telling him to turn back and threaten his brother within an inch of his life for daring to speak to his wife in ways that were anything but cordial. 

The moment they stepped out of the grand hall, allowing them a brief moment of privacy in the empty hallway, she pulled her arm from his and took his hands in her own, turning to face him, a soft smile on her face.

“Don’t let him ruin our night. This isn’t about him or anyone else. It’s about us.” 

He let out a long breath and nodded, though it wasn’t an easy feat to let go of the anger that burned hotly at the mere mention of his debauched brother’s attention on his love. 

“Besides, I’m quite eager to get to bed and if my husband chooses to delay any longer, I might begin to rethink this union.” She teased, smiling victoriously as his eye darkened with desire.

Her laughter echoed in the halls as Aemond practically dragged her to their chambers, his quick pace signaling he was equally as eager as she was to lose themselves in bliss.

~~

She lay draped across his bare chest, the sheets pooled at their hips. She hummed in contentment, her limbs aching, her eyes heavy with exhaustion as Aemond gently ran his fingers up and down the length of her arm. 

Any other night, his touch would lull her into much needed sleep, but the excitement that continued to course through her veins stubbornly kept her eyes open. 

She turned her head, looking up at her husband.

Gods, she would never get over saying that.

He looked down, their shared smiles growing as their gazes met. 

Her hand that was placed on his strong chest cheekily began to move lower, making him laugh.

“You can’t possibly be needing more.” He spoke tiredly. They had already gone multiple rounds, he had already pulled a countless number of orgasms from her. 

“I thought I married a dragon.” She teased. “Are you saying you no longer have the stamina to please your wife?” 

Aemond’s gaze darkened, his exhaustion worn out by his desire she could so effortlessly spark. 

“You dare to doubt me, wife?” He crooned, knowing how deeply the word affected her, watching with satisfaction as she practically preened against him, a wickedly delightful thrill coursing through her at the mention of their newly married status. 

She laughed and pushed at his chest, forcing him to lay back onto the pillows below him. He eagerly expected her to crawl atop him and ride him in the deliriously, mind bending way she could, but he was left in a pleasured surprise as she began to press heated kisses across his abdomen, moving lower torturously slowly.

He let out a heavy breath, his body thrumming with anticipation. He hissed as she took him in her mouth, his head falling back, already feeling weak under her touch, sensitive from his previous leg-shaking peaks. 

Her wicked tongue knew exactly what to do to render him a useless fool who couldn’t remember his own name. His hand tangled in her hair that was already a mess from their previous passionate rounds. 

His breath left him in heavy pants as she worked him with her mouth at a quick pace. He knew her well, he knew the determined glint in her eye signaled trouble for him. She went further and further and took him deep in her mouth until the tip of him hit the back of her throat. 

He whined, writhing against the bed, his hand that wasn’t pulling at her hair pathetically fisting the sheets below him in an effort to keep himself tethered to some semblance of control that she was steadily shattering. 

“You are wicked.” He moaned, the delight in his voice causing her lips to curl around him in the guise of a victorious smile. 

His lips were parted with a litany of moans and whines as he watched her, eagerly taking in the sight of her, his cock in her mouth, her eyes alight with desire, greedily taking his pleasure. She sped up the pace of her mouth, delighted at the sound of his loud groan echoing throughout the room. 

His toes began to curl, his weak body, already spent from hours of ecstasy, leaving him powerless under her. 

He called out her name frantically, sounding more debauched than he ever would have imagined he could have. 

“Oh fuck, just like that, darling, don’t stop.” 

She doubled her efforts, eager to see him fall apart. She loved to hear his noises of pleasure, to see him so unrestrained as he let himself fall to the haze of bliss. His back arched, both of his hands grabbing fistfuls of her hair, as if to ensure she wouldn’t leave him wanting, that she stayed worshiping him as she was, as only she could.

“Love,” He warned, feeling his end nearing, feeling the familiar fire beginning to stir within him, one that came before a powerful release. With only a few more flicks of her tongue, he felt himself shatter. 

He cried out, a loud, desperate sound most wouldn’t believe to have come from the surly Prince, as he came. His vision was stolen from him as he had squeezed his eye shut in the moment of climax, though he wouldn’t have denied that she had just extricated his soul from his body, leaving him to lose what was left of his sight. He didn’t doubt she had the ability. 

His chest heaved, his jaw slack, small whines leaving him as she was slow to part from him, her mouth lazily working his spent cock that twitched in overstimulation at her touch. 

He reached for her blindly, his limbs weak as though he had just fought a grueling battle. She grabbed his hand, laughing softly at the sight of him thoroughly exhausted. 

She allowed him to pull her over him, his hands desperate to touch her, to feel her close to him, to prolong the pleasure running through him. 

He kissed her hand, his lips moving up the length of her arm until he reached her neck, smiling at the sound of the contented noise that left her lips as he found the spot that always made her giggle with ticklish delight. 

“One of these days you are going to stop my heart.” He told her, still working to catch breath. 

“I would never do such a thing.” 

He smiled and kissed her firmly, his mind a haze of delirium. He briefly wondered if he was dreaming, for this seemed too perfect to be his life. He kissed her again, as if to confirm that this was real, that the woman that just brought him pleasure like no other was truly before him, that he was lucky enough to now call her his wife. 

“Give me five minutes and I will return the favor.”

~~

Their marriage was nothing short of blissful. Now there was no longer a need to hide, the public was shocked by how affectionate the dragon Prince acted towards his wife. One was seldom seen without the other. 

Maids constantly gossiped about the salacious noises heard from their shared chambers practically all hours of the day. With the noises the new Princess made nightly they couldn’t help but begin to lust over the elusive Prince, or at least wish he could give some tips to their own lovers. They almost fought over who got to service the Prince and his new wife to catch a glimpse of the lovesick expression on the feared one-eyed dragon’s face. 

It had to be seen to be believed. 

They knew it wouldn’t be long until the announcement of a new Targaryen babe was made. 

Aemond hated the attention. He wished he could take his wife across the sea and indulge in their newly wedded bliss in private. 

He had just sneered at yet another passing Lady who practically fawned at the sight of the two of them, when she laughed, tucking her arm tighter in his. 

They had simply been walking in the gardens together and still couldn’t escape the gossiping Ladies of the court who could talk of nothing else but their marriage and ponder about the feared one-eyed Prince’s new found prowess among the Ladies. 

“Do they have nothing better to do?” Aemond muttered in annoyance.

“Our novelty will wear off soon.” She assured him. “They are just not quite used to seeing you so… soft.”

“I am not soft.”

She laughed, the sound causing him to look over at his wife incredulously. The disbelieving look on his face only had her suppressing more laughter, 

“Tell me, dear husband, if I told you my legs were hurting and I couldn’t possibly make it to that bench over there, would you not carry me?”

Aemond regarded her for a moment, an almost imperceptible pout growing on his lips as he contemplated the situation. He knew there was no way he wouldn’t indulge her in anything she asked for. 

“That does not make me soft.” He answered defensively, though he knew he was a lost cause. 

She giggled at the obvious answer as they continued to walk. Aemond looked over at her, eyeing her carefully for a few moments, his brows furrowing.

“Your legs are not hurting are they?” 

Her laughter rang out in the gardens as she leaned in closer to his side. Aemond felt his own smile tugging at his lips and he placed a kiss to the top of her head.

He knew he would endure all of the petty gossip that came his way. He would endure a lot worse just to hear that laugh again. 

He almost couldn’t believe the bliss he was living in. He loved her more than he thought it was possible to love someone. Now that they no longer had to hide their true feelings for each other, now that they were married and could freely show affection without any repercussions, he found himself living in a dreamlike state. 

It felt too good to be true. 

Every day was spent showing the rest of the court just how much she meant to him, how he was hers and she was his and no one else mattered, while late nights were spent tangled in bed, their limbs weak with pleasure, a time just for them and no one else. 

As she got up to pour them another cup of wine they had been drinking before he had dragged her to their bed, she looked over her shoulder at her husband who was looking up at the ceiling tiredly, a content smile on his face.

“Have I finally worn you out?” She teased as she handed him his cup. 

He chuckled softly and took the cup, drinking down much needed swallows of the sweet wine. She crawled back into bed beside him, settling herself in his open arms once again. She pressed teasing kisses across his chest, feeling the hum of soft moans that escaped him. 

He cupped her face and kissed her firmly, the gesture lacking much heat as they were both thoroughly spent from the haze of pleasure they’d been tangled in for hours. 

He pulled away, letting his forehead rest against hers as he took her in, simply admiring his wife with an awe that was certainly not unfamiliar to either of them. 

She noticed a flicker of something she didn’t recognize flash across his face, his eye softening almost imperceptibly. 

“What’s on your mind, Love?” She asked, nuzzling in closer to him as she sensed his sudden anxious energy. 

He stayed quiet for a moment longer, carefully contemplating his next words and if he should divulge the sudden thought in his head to her. 

“What if…” He started softly, his teeth worrying his lip as he feared her reaction. “What if you didn’t drink any moon tea tomorrow?”

Her expression smoothed out in surprise at his request. She couldn’t deny that it was something she had thought of since their wedding, but she had never spoken of her fantasies of silver haired children with her husband. She knew he had complicated feelings for his own family, especially his father, and she never wanted to bring it up in fear of pushing him to something he feared.  

“Is that something you want?” 

“I want everything with you.” He told her sincerely. 

The beaming smile that grew on her lips soothed every ounce of anxiety he had and he breathed out deeply, leaning forward to kiss her once more. 

“You’re going to be a wonderful father.” 

Her whispered words made his insides twist and flutter in ways that left him holding back the flood of emotions he hadn’t expected, her words soothing the deep rooted anxiety he felt at the prospect of starting a family, no matter how badly he wanted it. He had no way to tell her how grateful he was for her, there were no words conceivable to tell her the depth of his love for her. 

So he settled for kissing her, silently thanking the Gods above for bringing him to the woman in his arms. 

~~

Aemond stepped into their shared chambers the same time he always did, his perfect hair slightly disheveled from his time spent training. He stopped in his tracks, the warmth in his expression gone in an instant as he eyed the Maester sitting before her with growing apprehension.

“What’s wrong?” 

She laughed at his blatant worry as he approached her quickly, reaching for her hand. 

“Everything’s fine, Darling.” 

“What happened?” He turned to ask the Maester, all care gone from his voice, leaving nothing but strict power as he demanded an answer. 

“The Princess wasn’t feeling well this morn-”

“Are you alright? Why didn’t you tell me?” He interrupted, turning his attention back to her, his concerned tone back in full force, all traces of the demanding Prince gone as he kneeled before her, his expression wracked with worry. 

She smiled again in amusement and looked to the Maester. 

“Would you mind giving us a moment?” 

The old man nodded respectfully, giving her a warm smile and hastily leaving the room, most likely relieved to gain some distance from the dragon Prince with the feared temper. 

She intertwined her fingers with Aemond’s, taking in a deep breath as she prepared herself to bring him the life changing news. 

“I have been feeling a little off the last few days and I called the Maester to confirm my suspicion.” She explained vaguely, her mischievous smirk remaining as she watched Aemond’s brow furrow deeper in concern. 

“And?”

Deciding to finally let her husband off the hook and spare him his heart that was no doubt racing in anticipation, his dramatic mind probably conjuring horrible conclusions, she guided his hand forward, letting his palm rest flatly on her stomach. 

She watched him carefully, noting the exact moment he realized what she was telling him. His lips parted and his gaze moved from his hand to her face abruptly, his eye shrouded in disbelief, looking at her pleadingly, as if needing confirmation that this was real. 

She let out a laugh and nodded, tears brimming in her eyes at the pure love she saw in Aemond’s. He let out a breathless laugh, the sound of delight one she had never remembered ever hearing from him before. He grabbed her hands, swiftly bringing her to her feet and barely a second later, he was hugging her tightly, his hands gripping onto her desperately.

Her delighted laughter filled the room as he twirled her around, the moment filled with nothing but elation. 

“Thank you.” He whispered from where his head rested in the crook of her neck. 

She smiled, her own emotions rising at the sound of him so touched, so loved. 

He pulled out of the embrace, his gaze immediately falling to her stomach that had yet to show any evidence of the life that grew there. He pictured it swelling, the bump that would grow with their child, the life they had created together and he was sure his heart was moment away from bursting out of sheer love. 

“I can’t believe it.” He breathed out in awe. It had only been about a month since they had made the decision to forgo moontea, he had no idea it would happen for them this quickly. 

“With how often you take me to bed, surely this isn’t a surprise.” 

He looked almost proud at her jest and she shook her head, pulling him in for another embrace that he gladly returned, his arms holding her as if she were the most precious thing in the world and if anyone were to ask, Aemond would certainly agree. 

He kissed the top of her head and pulled back, taking her face in his hands as he looked down at her reverently.

“You have given me more than I ever could have imagined I would have.” He told her honestly. “You’ve made me the happiest man to ever live.” 

He kissed her with all the love he could, hoping it would be enough to convey every ounce of adoration he held for her. 

However, their peace didn’t last long. 

Rhaenyra and her sons would soon be arriving at King’s Landing to counter Vaemond Velaryon’s petition for the Driftmark throne.

The moment Aemond heard the news, he became reserved, building that familiar brooding wall around him, portraying that of the feared one-eyed prince the court loved to gossip about. 

The night before they were due to arrive, he had resided in their chambers, wishing to avoid the prying eyes of the court and their whispers about his bastard nephews and the likelihood of there being another duel between them that would result in bloodshed.

He heard the door of their shared chambers open and close, but his gaze remained on the flickering flames in the hearth in front of him. 

“There you are.” Her sweet voice called out, his wife taking her place at his side. “I’ve barely seen you all day.”

“I’ve been here.” He responded softly, his voice lacking its usual warmth that was always present with her. 

She watched him carefully, knowing exactly what was eating away at him, but hesitant to mention it, unsure of how he would react. The mere mention of his nephews was enough to incite his rage. 

“Do you wish to talk about it?” She asked softly.

“No.”

His voice was curt, betraying just how tormented he felt. A flare of pain lashed his scar, the sapphire in place of his eye seemingly burning, as if the thought of that Strong bastard’s imminent arrival alone could cut him like the dagger he wielded that night. 

A tense silence lingered between them, one they both hated. 

With a pained hiss, he tore his eye path off, tossing it to the side carelessly, his sharp features contorted in pain. He leaned his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands as the sapphire in his eye bloomed with pain. 

It wasn’t often the wound still caused him aggravation, but in the moments it did, he always felt like he was that young, helpless boy again. His hands shook slightly as the pain flared so deeply it was all he could do to breathe through it. 

Within seconds he felt gentle hands on his, carefully prying them from his face. He looked up to his wife sitting before him, the concern on her face stirring his emotions he tried desperately to hold back. 

He noticed the vial of ointment in her hands, the one the Maesters gave to him to use whenever his wound became unbearable. He was tense as she cradled his cheek, her thumb caressing the edge of his scar, her eyes taking in the angry looking wound. She had seen him do this for himself a few times but he had never let her do it before. 

She looked at him thoughtfully, posing a silent question to which he nodded slightly, still hesitant to let her touch what was his greatest shame, but the pain was becoming unbearable, he was left out of options. 

She dipped her finger into the ointment and carefully applied it to his eye, her own heart racing as she felt her husband was baring a piece of himself he had been adamant on hiding for so long. 

As her fingers brushed as gently as possible across his wounded eye, the cooling ointment bringing him relief immediately, he finally started to let himself relax, releasing a long breath. 

She reached out with her other hand, laying it over his own that was still clenched into a fist, beginning to trace meaningless shapes over his knuckles. Her touch soothed something in him he didn’t even know could be soothed, the simple gesture enough for him to feel comforted in a way only she could give him. He sighed loudly as he sank into his seat, the rigidity leaving him limb by limb. 

Smiling softly at the sight of him so much calmer than before, she moved to sit next to him once she was finished. Aemond was quick to close the distance between them, moving in closer to her side, taking her hand in his, eager for her touch. 

“Thank you.” He whispered, the look of reverence he sent her stirring her own emotions and she suddenly found herself on the verge of tears. She would never understand what he went through as a child, she would never understand what he felt for his nephews, but she was adamant she would be there for him in the moments he struggled. 

“You never need to thank me for this.” She assured him. 

Another heavy breath escaped him, as if his ire was leaving him with each exhale. His resentment was no match for the love his wife gave him. It would succumb to her each and every time. 

His hand roamed gently over her body, eventually finding its place on her stomach, where it stayed, pulling a small laugh from her.

“You do realize there’s no bump yet.”

Aemond just shrugged, the look of contentment on his face a far cry from the derision that had steadily remained all day. 

“It doesn’t matter. He’s still in there.”

“He?”

He seemed bashful as he looked up at his wife, a slight blush on his cheeks, as if embarrassed to admit the many nights he spent thinking about their child, imagining their son as the perfect mix of them both, of how much he already loved their child. 

“It’s just a feeling.” 

She began to picture it, Aemond cradling their son, his eyes the same vibrant blue of his father’s, his smile wide, his cheeks chubby, every bit of him absolutely perfect. 

Her own smile grew, her vision growing blurry as tears gathered in her eyes at the thought, her hormones that were now on a hair trigger since her pregnancy, coming to a head. 

“Hey,” Aemond called out in concern, reaching up to caress her cheek and she shook her head, letting out a small laugh.

“They’re happy tears.” 

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her softly. It was easy to forget the turmoil he felt, that he was soon to face the object of his anger, when he was next to his wife, their child growing within her. 

That night, he was ravenous. He had taken her with a fervor he hadn’t felt in weeks. He had been insatiable when he knew of her pregnancy, but he seemed to treat her like glass, as if she were now delicate because of the precious life that grew within her. 

His touches had always been gentle, but urgent, hungry yet loving. 

Tonight, he was starved. He fucked her as if they were newlyweds again, every touch portraying just how desperate he felt for her. 

“Aemond!” She cried out, her hands tangled in his hair, pulling hard as he brought her to yet another blissful orgasm.

He growled, burying his face in the crook of her neck, the enticing nip at her neck making her moan. His steady pace never faltered, his powerful hips crashing against hers as he chased his own end. 

Her cries turned to laughs, delirious with pleasure. 

“I love you.” She breathed out and screamed as his pace became quicker, his thrusts becoming harsher, more frantic as he quickly approached his high. 

“Say it again.” He growled, now hovering over her as he gazed down at the beauty beneath him, his eye and the striking sapphire a sight that left her shivering under his tight grip.

“I love you.” She repeated, hoping he believed every word, hoping he knew just how much she cherished him, how much he meant to her. “You are the only man I’ve ever loved, the only man I’ll ever love for the rest of my life.”

His jaw clenched, his eye squeezing shut as the sight of her below him, writhing in pleasure, was just too much to handle. He was powerless against her. 

His thrusts became relentless, the bed shaking beneath them with every one of his brutal strokes. 

He breathed harshly, feeling as though flames were alight in his veins. 

“Again.” He commanded roughly. 

She shivered at the commanding edge of his voice, her toes curling as she felt sparks ignite within her. 

“I love you, more than anything.” 

Her breathless words were his undoing. He shouted a curse and groaned loudly, his arms feeling weak as he practically fell over her, never stopping his movements, his cock thrusting into her almost violently as he came, his body shaking against hers. 

She gasped at the feeling of him spilling inside her, her arms wrapping tighter around him, her head thrown back as she cried out, his name falling from her lips in a chant, as if he were a deity she prayed to for salvation. 

“I love you.” She whispered breathlessly and began to laugh tiredly as he planted kisses over the expanse of her neck, making his way upwards until he met her lips, kissing her soundly, as if she were the very air he breathed. 

“I love you.” He panted in a blissful daze. 

By the next morning, every good feeling Aemond had coveted the night before had dissipated like smoke in the wind. 

He woke early and spared his sleeping wife a kiss to the forehead before heading to the training yard where he spent the rest of the morning, endlessly sparring with Ser Criston and any other worthy opponent available when the knight needed a break from his endless plights. 

Those that dared to step up were left bloody and bruised in a matter of minutes. 

Aemond was wound tightly, his entire being ready to snap as he laid his eye on his nephews for the first time in years. The fury that had been buried deeply within him for years bubbled to the surface with one look at the brown haired bastards. 

The sapphire in place of his eye burned as his glare remained steady on them. 

He preened inwardly as they cowered under his eye. To know they couldn’t meet his gaze brought him more satisfaction than he had expected. He grabbed his sword and gestured to Ser Criston to get into position.

He fought with determination as if he were in actual battle, as if his life was truly threatened and every movement dictated his survival. With every powerful strike of his sword against Criston’s shield, he felt vindicated, as though the years of shame that had come from the bullying he endured from his own brother and nephews stripped off layer by layer with each powerful swing of his weapon. 

His eye drifted to his nephews, a sickly satisfied smirk growing at the sight of their intimidation. 

They held no power over him now. He had made sure of it. 

“Husband.” 

Her voice cut through the haze of victory he had been lavishing in. He turned on his heel, confusion overtaking him as he saw his wife standing in the training yard. He dropped his sword and rushed over to her side. 

“What are you doing down here? Is everything alright?”

She didn’t often make her way down into the training yards and with her current state, he couldn’t help but fret over her every minute of the day he was with her.

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t killing yourself before the petition.”

He sighed heavily. He didn’t know if he loved or hated how easily his wife could read him. She took his hand and he let her guide him out of the yard. 

“You’ve been here for hours, I think you’ve earned yourself a break.” 

He opened his mouth to retort, but she stopped him with a knowing look. 

“Based on the looks on your nephews face’s I think you’ve proven everything you needed to prove.”

The smirk that grew on his lips should have worried her, but she couldn’t find it in herself to feel any concern for the ire he felt for his nephews. It was more than justified, she just hoped it would be enough, that their visit to the Keep wouldn’t result in any more bloodshed. 

Aemond looked back into the training yard, as if hesitant to leave the glory he’d managed to carve out for himself, for the retribution he felt he had finally earned, no matter how slight it was, but her hand in his forced him back to her in an instant. 

“Don’t let them get to you. They hold no power over you.” She told him softly and he let out a long breath, allowing the hatred that had been clouding him all day roll over him like dark thunder clouds making way for the shining sun to warm up the earth after a vicious storm. 

His hand remained steadily in hers, as if needing her like a lifeline in tumultuous waves. She was the only thing that kept him tethered to himself, that kept him from spiraling into his anger. 

She could see how tense he was and if it were any other day, if they didn’t have royal duties to attend to, she would’ve been content to keep him in their chambers and let him use her to both of their delights until he was spent, too exhausted to feel any anger at all. 

She didn’t like to see him in this state. It was so unlike the sweet boy that had been by her side for years. She didn’t like what her nephews had created in him the night he claimed Vhagar. 

~~

The petition unfolded as she expected. While King Viserys’ presence had been a surprise, Vaemond’s demise certainly wasn’t, especially after the accusations he had spouted to Princess Rhaenyra and her sons. 

Aemond had tugged on her arm, instinctively pulling her behind him as Daemon brought his sword down upon the man. 

He had shielded her from the violent display, something she had been grateful for. With the pregnancy hormones swirling within her, she most often felt nauseous around anything that wasn’t plain bread. The sight of Vaemond’s severed head would’ve been enough to put her off eating for the rest of her life. 

As the court reacted in a frenzy to the brutal display, Aemond had placed his hand on her stomach, his eye looking her over carefully, ready to rush her out of the room at the slightest hint of nausea. 

She gripped his hand and nodded to his silent question, assuring him she was ok, that she wasn’t about to spill her guts in front of everyone, though the darkened look in his eye remained. Who it was targeted at, she wasn’t quite sure. 

Neither one of them had been looking forward to the family dinner Viserys was adamant on hosting. It was as if he was completely oblivious to the tension in the family as he forced them in proximity to each other. 

Aemond had barely spoken a word as they readied themselves for dinner. He was tense, his face drawn tightly, as if he expected the worst to unfold, as if he were facing enemies on a battlefield and not a simple dinner with his family. 

“We don’t have to attend.” She told him, wishing she could protect him from the torment he felt in the face of his nephews. 

He didn’t spare a look to her, every inch of him was shrouded in anger, barely contained fury that he couldn’t shake. He didn’t seem like the man she married at that moment. 

“Why wouldn’t I attend?” He asked, as if his torment wasn’t visible, as if she wasn’t aware of the burning anger he couldn’t shake, the vitriol he experienced as a child coming back to the forefront of his mind, reminding him of the slights that he had been faced with. 

“Aemond,” She started softly. “No one expects you to forgive them.” 

He scoffed, shaking his head, his expression filled with bitter irritation. 

“No one expects me to hold any anger at all.” 

She frowned deeply and approached him slowly, eyeing him carefully. She had never felt so out of depth when it came to her husband but she would be damned if she left him to suffer alone.

“We don’t have to go.”

He clenched his jaw, his eye holding a faraway look, signaling he was deep in thought. 

She reached out, cupping his face in his hands, startling him out of his reverie that was filled with nothing but hatred. 

“You just tell me and we’ll leave. I’ll make an excuse and we can go without any question.”

Her words, her ability to show him she was staunchly in his corner, a feeling no one else had ever assured him of, disarmed him completely. There was one thing his nephews would never take from him, the love he felt from his wife stood the test of time, standing strongly against any other force that dared to weaken him. His eye softened, his hand reaching out to grasp her arm, his fingers gently caressing her skin. 

“What have I done to deserve you?” He whispered, his voice cloaked with reverence, as if surprised by the love she held for him. 

She frowned, hating when he spoke as if he didn’t deserve the love she showed him, as if it was some kind of gift he wasn’t worthy of coveting. 

“You read to me my second day here.” She answered simply, reminding him of the beginning of it all, when they were nothing more than two wonderstruck children. 

He exhaled deeply, desperately wanting to hold onto that feeling that always surrounded him when he thought of their childhood together, like warmth embracing him soundly. 

It was a feeling he kept close to him as they walked to the dining hall, though he knew it was futile. The feeling would be gone, shielded in the depths of him in the face of his family.

As they stepped into the hall, Aemond left her side to grab her a drink from the servers, allowing her to step towards Rhaena and Baela, greeting them politely. Rhaena was quick to give her a smile, while Baela only had distrustful eyes to throw in her direction. 

Her name was called and she turned to see Rhaenyra approaching her with a warm smile. 

She smiled and embraced the Princess slightly awkwardly. She had fond memories of the woman growing up, especially in times when she was desperately missing her own mother, but it had been years since she had seen her and knowing her actions on the night Aemond’s eye had been taken had irrevocably changed her view of the woman since.

“It’s good to see you again, Dear.” Rhaenyra smiled warmly at her. “Where is your father, I was hoping to say hello.”

“He’s at Ixtal. He was missing my mother and decided to take a short visit.” 

“You didn’t join him?”

She felt her cheeks heat at the question and she couldn’t help but smile. 

“I would, but I wasn’t exactly in a good state to travel.” She explained and placed her hand on her stomach exaggeratedly. 

Rhaenyra’s eyes widened and she beamed a smile, laughing happily. 

“That is wonderful news.” The Princess congratulated. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother.” 

A hand on the small of her back made her look up to see her husband now at her side, his steely eye locked onto his half-sister whose smile faltered at his sudden presence. She cleared her throat, her demeanor now tense as she nodded politely in greeting.

Rhaenyra left their side quickly, leaving her to wonder just how deeply one family could fracture. She couldn’t imagine ever greeting her brothers in that manner. She couldn’t imagine hating the ones she shared blood with. 

Letting out a long breath, knowing she was in for an eventful night, she turned to Aemond, placing her hand on his arm that was stiff, as if he wouldn't allow himself to relax or even take a breath in their presence. 

They all took their seats, the tension in the room strangling as King Viserys was carried in. 

She held back a grimace at the sight of the decrepit King. He was a far cry from the man she had met all those years ago, far from the man who was a dear friend to her father. 

The awkward aura in the room remained steadfast, with most avoiding eye contact with each other. Even Viserys’ heartened speech about family and the uniting of the house of the dragon did little to mend the obvious rift in the family.

Until Rhaenyra stood. She was shocked to hear her speak such lovely words about the Queen and for the Queen to return the sentiment. 

Their apparent truce for the time being broke the tension, though her husband at her side remained tense, his lone eye unflinchingly cold as he regarded his distant family. 

Her eyes kept circling back to him, as if waiting for the moment he would strike. She wondered when the wood of the chair under his white-knuckled grip would splinter. She wondered when the night would take an irredeemable turn.

She didn’t even get to enjoy Helaena’s thinly veiled jab towards Aegon in her toast, she was too worried about her husband to pay attention to the others around her. 

When the music began, signaling the end of the toasts, she leaned back in her seat, giving her husband a small encouraging smile, anticipating that they had made it through the worst the night had to offer. 

Aemond remained stiff as stone, his posture straight and rigid. She noticed his eye darken further, his gaze locked past her and she turned, her brows furrowing slightly as Jacaerys stepped towards her, a hopeful smile on his face.

“Would you care to dance, Princess?” He asked, offering her his hand. 

She stared at his hand for a long second, contemplating her choices. With the entirety of the table watching the exchange, she knew she had little choice but to accept his offer. 

She spared a brief glance to her husband beside her and the fury that blazed in his lone eye would have melted the wall in the great north. With a heavy breath, she gingerly took Jace’s hand and stood from her seat, allowing him to guide her away from the table.

Her husband’s gaze practically burned at her back. 

Aemond watched with barely contained rage as the bastard danced with his wife. His teeth grinded together so harshly it was a wonder they didn’t crack. He briefly contemplated what the repercussions would be if he murdered the Strong bastard where he stood. 

The fire within him was simmering, ready to unleash as he watched another man touch his wife. The smile on the bastard’s face left Aemond wondering whether he should slit his throat, dismember him, or let Vhagar turn him to ash. 

None of the choices seemed punishment enough. 

As Jace twirled her, her eyes briefly met Aemond’s and her stomach twisted at his expression. She knew tonight wouldn’t end peacefully. 

She flinched slightly as Jace quickly spun her back into his arms, causing her to almost crash into his chest, forcing her much closer to him than she felt was necessary. She leaned back to gain some distance, hoping it wasn’t noticeable, hoping her husband hadn’t been able to tell she had been uncomfortable for a mere second.

Jace would be dead and buried before the sun rose if that were the case. 

“I have to admit, I was quite shocked when I heard the news of your wedding.” Jace suddenly spoke, keeping his voice low so only she would hear. 

“What was so shocking?”

“I didn’t expect you to end up with someone like him.”

“Someone like him? You mean my oldest friend?” She questioned, disdain creeping through her tone, her defenses raised, which didn’t allow her the wherewithal to speak in a friendly manner. 

Jace sighed, as if wanting to dispute the simple fact that she and Aemond had been close for years before marriage was even a thought in either of their heads. 

“You two are very different.” He said with a slight shrug. “I pictured you with someone more… warm, romantic even.” 

“I assure you, my prince, my husband is plenty romantic. You do not need to worry yourself about my marriage.” She smiled stiffly. 

Jace, seeming to sense her attitude, remained silent for the remainder of the dance. As the song ended, she politely curtsied and was walking back to the table before he could rise from his bow. 

The tension didn’t dissipate as she took her seat at her husband’s side once more. If anything, the fury radiating from the man beside her only set her more on edge. Aemond leaned into her, making her shoulders tense both in apprehension and desire. 

“If he touches you again, I will break every bone in his body.” Aemond hissed in her ear, smirking delightedly at the shiver she repressed. 

She looked up at him, his fury now morphed into an insatiable hunger only she could tame. She knew she would be in for a long night. 

She was just thankful he seemed to be feeling anything other than murderous rage. 

But it did not last long. 

She had been speaking quietly to Helaena, Aemond’s hand in hers, his thumb caressing over her knuckles a steady comfort when he suddenly pulled away. 

She barely had time to look over at her husband before he was bolting out of his chair. His fist that slammed on the table made her flinch in surprise, her wide eyes looking up at him in confusion.

“Final tribute.” 

Her heart raced wildly in her chest, her gaze wandering around the table, wondering what could have possibly stoked his fury. It wasn’t until she saw the sheepish guilt that permeated with fear on Lucerys’ expression that she began to understand. 

“To the health of my nephews. Jace, Luke, and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise… strong.”

She felt her breath hitch in her throat, her wide eyed gaze meeting Alicent’s for a brief moment, his mother looking equally as petrified for what was to unfold. 

“Let us drain our cups to these three Strong boys.”

She sent her husband a pleading look, but it was lost on him, his gaze, full of hatred, cemented on his nephews. 

“I dare you to say that again.”

“Why? Twas only a compliment. Do you not think yourself strong?”

She gasped, her hand covering her mouth as Jace landed a punch to Aemond’s cheek. The room erupted in chaos. She could watch with disappointment as her husband pushed his nephew to the ground, as Aegon joined in and shoved Lucerys against the table. 

Helaena stood from her seat and rushed towards her, her face shrouded in fear. She sighed and stood from her seat, wrapping her arm around her friend who seemed disturbed by the rift tearing in her family before her. 

“It’s alright.” She assured her. 

Across the room, Rhaenyra’s eyes bored into hers, pleading, as if she had any control over her husband’s ire. She sent her an apologetic look and bowed her head, wishing Aemond had taken up her offer to avoid the dinner altogether. 

The room came to a standstill, the fighting men separated, a room divided by two factions. 

Aemond glared at his uncle who looked at him as if disappointed, as if he were out of line to enact revenge for the slight against him. 

He grit his teeth and in a quick motion, swallowed the wine left in his cup before turning back to the table. He avoided looking at his wife as he grabbed her hand, pulling her along with him as he stormed out of the room.

Her feet moved quickly to keep up with his quick pace, her heart in her throat as he led them through the halls.

Once they were back in their chambers, her eyes seldom left him, watching every one of his movements carefully, noticing how highly strung he still was, how stiffly he moved as paced for a moment before he finally took a seat on the edge of the bed. 

His anger wouldn’t be leaving him easily. 

“Are you alright?”

He stayed quiet for a long moment, gazing ahead blankly, the burning fury that simmered in his veins leaving him practically trembling, the desire to wreak havoc not yet dissipating. 

Every part of him was wrought with tension, his mind a mess of thoughts, though his anger was the easiest to make sense of. 

“Don’t try to convince me that what I did was wrong.” He spoke bitterly.

“I won’t.” 

His jaw clenched, the events of the last few minutes running through his head on a loop, keeping him in the state of rage that made him shake, that made his hands twitch, wishing he had done more, wishing he could hurt that bastard the way he had been hurt all those years ago.

The thought briefly startled him. It was a thought he used to have frequently, when the rage in his heart was so new he didn’t know what to do with it. It was a thought he hadn’t focused on since being with her. 

The revelation had an unfamiliar upset stirring within him.

“I should sleep in my old chambers tonight.” He muttered tersely. 

The bitter anger burned within him, he felt on the edge of cracking and he would hate himself if he ever took it out on her, his sweet wife. He felt he needed to be far away from her to avoid darkening her with his presence.

“What?”

The sadness in her voice almost broke him. He closed his eye and bowed his head, he couldn’t bear to see the look on her face. 

“I don’t want you to see me like this.” 

It was quiet for a long moment, his words lingering in the room like an ominous death rattle that signaled the bitter end after a long, torturous fight. 

But she refused to let him sink into his despair. 

He flinched as she stepped before him, catching his gaze. Her hands smoothed out the doublet he wore, roaming upwards to brush the hair off his shoulders and gently caressing his neck as she reached up to hold his jaw affectionately. 

He let out a deep breath, the tension slowly but surely easing from him in waves under her touch. 

“I am not letting you feel this alone.” She told him, her voice soft yet stern, letting him know there was no way he would change her mind about this, that nothing could force her to accept his absence from her side. 

“I don’t seem to recognize myself around them.”

His whispered confession hit her harder than she had expected and she felt her breath hitch in her throat, her own emotions rising to the surface at the sight of him so tormented. 

“You can never undo what they took from you.” She began slowly, her voice wavering slightly. “I’ll never understand what you’ve been through. I wish I could and I’m so sorry I don’t, but you cannot let this consume you.”

His face remained a mask of torment, his derision and anger battling against the exhaustion that permeated his bitterness, that left him feeling weak in the aftermath of his rage. 

She gently guided him to tilt his head upward so she could look at him, so he could see her and the resolution on her face and understand her honesty.

“You are more than your eye. You are more than the rage you feel when you look at them. You are more than them.”

He almost shuddered under her hands, the words striking him with force as though they were dealt with a physical hit. 

“I see you, the real you. The one I fell in love with, my sweet husband, the father of my child.” 

With that, she grabbed his hand to place it over her stomach and his expression changed in an instant, the anger gone as he caressed where his child grew. 

He leaned forward, his forehead falling to rest against her chest, his arms circling her waist. He spread his legs, allowing her to step closer to him, her own arms wrapping around his shoulders, holding him tightly. 

She ran her fingers through his hair, the soft motions pulling a soft sound from deep within him, his rigid body falling lax against her. 

As she hugged him tightly she felt her eyes begin to sting with tears. She wished she could pull the agony from him, untangle the strings of rage that wound him so tightly. 

She wished she could’ve gone back in time and held tighter to the wounded boy who hid his despair from her for so long. 

~~

The girls are fightinggg

And the angst is coming xx

~~

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[poem-i-wish-i-wrote]

heyy, what's up? I wanted to request some angst to fluff with charles where the reader and him have a big fight and the reader decides to go to a hotel and he finds her and apologizes and they go back to their house and spend a lot of time together. if there's anything you would like to change feel free to do so ☺️ love your writing btw 🩷

Heyy Anon. Thank you so much for the request. I tried my best to do it justice. i really hope you like it. And i'm sooo delighted to hear you like my writing. You have no idea how much that means to me. enjoy!

Also requests are open

Standing at the door like a ghost shaking from the rain

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader Warning: angst, lots of angst, Charles being dismissive and avoidant, mention of anxiety.

It’s been a horrible week for you at work. You felt so frustrated. You wish you could have talked to someone, but it feels like no ones ever around when it's you who needs some support.

Not even your boyfriend. It always seems like when you were having a bad week, Charles was having a worse one. And you end up not seeking comfort in him, because you don’t wanna be a burden. You don’t wanna add to his problems or concerns.

 Last week was the Austrian GP week, where Charles had a god awful result. He was very upset and stressed about it. You tried to comfort him as much as you could. But his quiet resentment hanged in the air like a ticking bomb. It just made you more anxious, it just made the week feel worse. And he was busy this whole week trying to improve his performance, always in training, always in meetings. You didn’t hold it against him. He needed to improve, he needed to work, you know that. 

But you hated how he acted when he came home. Avoiding talking to you, dismissing you when you tried to ask if he was okay and if he wanted to talk about it. Demeaning you with his actions. He would always be yelling at the phone. Acting bit aggressive while doing things. It was all putting you on edge.  But you said nothing. He was having a hard time, you couldn’t blame him right?

You were at one of Charles' friend's parties. Charles merely paid you any attention the whole evening. You didn’t know any of these people, and Charles didn’t introduce you to anyone unless someone asked about you. You felt very uncomfortable. It was an especially awful day. You almost decided not to come to the party today. You were home lying on your bed thinking how you will tell Charles you wanted to stay home tonight. But Charles barged into the room and asked “Why aren’t you getting ready? Fuck Y/n we can’t be late.” Somehow that expression of his made you not want you to engage in a conversation with him. 

So here you were standing uncomfortably, as your boyfriend was laughing with his friends and their spouses, completely ignoring you. You could feel yourself shaking a bit. You were anxious. Everything about his body language was making you feel worse.

By the time you got back home, the pent up emotions of the whole week got to you. You were throwing your jewelries on the dressing table. Slamming washroom and closet doors. You didn’t even look at Charles as you changed, freshened up and got ready to call it a night. Charles could sense you were mad. 

You were getting yourself a glass of water, aggressively putting down the jug when Charles walked into the kitchen. “Why are you so pissed off?”

“I’m not.” “Yes, you are. You're acting ridiculous,” You close your eyes trying not to pounce at the man in front of you in anger. “It’s nothing.”

“Why are you acting this way? You barely talked to my friends all night. You weren’t even willing to get ready for the party. That’s so insensitive of you!”

“Oh wow” you express with raised eyebrows. “I was being insensitive? What about you? How am I supposed to talk to your friends if you don’t even introduce me? You’ve been acting like an asshole all week. I’m trying to be there for you regardless, and you call me insensitive.”

“What do you mean I was being an asshole? You know I have had a hard week, if you can’t accept a little change in my mood, then how is this supposed to work between us?” “Please Charles, you know I can handle your change in moods, but you took it too far. You pay me no attention. You keep pushing me away. What am I supposed to do?” “Well if you supported me and my work then you would have found a way to be there for me”  That struck a nerve, and suddenly you were yelling everything you have been trying so hard to repress all week.

“Oh I don’t support your work?! You know what, Charles?? You're not the only one with a career. Other people have bad days too.  I don’t support you? I’ve been trying to comfort you all week. What have you done? Have you paid me any attention? Did you even notice how hard I’ve been struggling? My project fell through this morning. I’ve been having absolute shit time at work, but you don’t see me treating you with a bad attitude because of that” You yell. You were visibly shaking now. This was all getting too much.

“How am I supposed to know what goes on in your office?” he yells back. “It’s not about knowing. It’s about being there for each other! And you are never around for me anymore. I feel more alone when I’m with you.” “You are being fucking ridiculous. You can’t just put that all on me.” Charles states. You press your hands on your eyes in frustration.

“You know what. Yeah , I’m being ridiculous. And you have a race next week. Maybe I should just leave you to concentrate on your career. I can't stay here anymore." You say before leaving the kitchen and getting your purse and phone from your room.

“Y/n?! Y/n! Where are you going?” Charles follows you. You don’t say a word, you just put on your shoes and slam the door behind you. You get into your car and drive off, leaving Charles standing alone in your living room, thinking about how he just fucked up.

You were at a hotel now. It’s been 2 hours since you left the house. It was raining heavily outside. You were crying under the covers. Everything was crumbling, your career, your relationship. You felt so damn alone. You could feel your anxiety get worse by the minute. 

Suddenly you heard a knock on your hotel room door. A desperate knock. You just lay there hearing the sound. You couldn’t find the energy to get up. The knock continued. You finally got up and opened the door to find a very drenched Charles Leclerc in front of you. 

“What the fuck Charles? What Are you doing here?” You say. He was shaking from the cold. His hair all messed up, his damp hair on his face. He could see you were clearly “Y/n I’m so sorry. Please, please come back home.” He said, stepping closer to you. You backed away which broke his heart. “Y/n I’m so so sorry. You were right, I was an asshole. I was so caught up in myself, I didn't see what I was doing. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I’m so sorry I didn’t see how much my actions were affecting you. Sorry I didn’t see your struggles. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” At this point there were tears in your eyes again. You try to turn away but he grabs hold of your hand. 

“I’m so sorry Mon Cheri. I’m so sorry I hurt you this bad. Please come home to me. I’m never gonna do this again. Please give me one more chance to be there for you. I’ll never let you feel lonely ever again.” He pulled you close to his forehead resting against yours. You were fully crying. It seemed like he was going to cry too. “Please Y/n, please.” he whispered. You shouldn’t forgive him so easily. But You felt so awful right now, so weak. Your wrapped hands around him and buried your face in his chest. Not caring that he was fully damped from the rain. You were sobbing into his chest. He leaned into your shoulders whispering sorry into your skin as he held you tight against him. 

When you stopped crying he wiped away your tears and kissed you sweetly. “Let’s go back home, love.” He gathered your things for you before driving you home. Holding your hand the whole drive.

Back at home, he led you to the bed, holding you close to his chest as you two cuddled into each other. He kept saying sorry. And you just hold on to him tightly.

“Tell me what’s been bothering you at work.” he said while kissing your hair. “It’s nothing you say.” He lifts your face up towards him by your chin. “Don’t do that. Don’t hide from me. Tell me, I want to know.” You give him a sad smile at that.

You two lay there talking late in the night. You tell him about the difficulties you were facing, the project that fell through and how worried you were about that. He held you tightly while playing with your hair, listening to your every word and comforting you through the night until you fell asleep.

When he realized you were full unconscious, He pressed his lips on your temple whispering, “I'm never going to et you feel lonely ever again.”

[steddieas-shegoes]

won't know unless you try

for @steddie-week prompt 'mutual pining'

rated t | 1919 words | cw: referenced recreational drug use | tags: mutual pining, getting together, awkward flirting, fast burn

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Eddie’s just the guy he gets drugs from. He has to remind himself of that a little too often.

It’s just that he’s been seeing him weekly for nearly a year now with the exception of his family holiday for two weeks over the summer. When you see someone that frequently, even if only for a couple of minutes, you tend to become friends.

Which is an exaggeration of what they actually are, and Steve can recognize that he is almost definitely the only one who feels anything more for Eddie than what a business transaction would call for. Eddie’s never even so much as hinted at wanting to hang out outside of the exchange of goods, but Steve thinks the small smile and nod he gives when Steve waves goodbye to him is flirting.

Or flirting adjacent.

Eddie may not even actually like guys. Steve’s not the best at reading people, and it’s gotten his heart in trouble plenty of times before.

Like when he was pretty sure he was in love with Robin and she awkwardly came out to him in a bar’s bathroom, leaving him feeling a bit dumb, a little heartbroken, and a lot disappointed. Luckily, she was able to give him space for a few days and he realized he just loved being her friend.

It didn’t go so well with Evan or Cooper or Connor. Or Amanda or Heather or Caitlin.

But with Eddie, it felt different.

You won’t know unless you try, ran through Steve’s head on loop as he walked up to the front door of Eddie’s apartment.

Only a few customers got the privilege of knowing where he lived, Steve being one of them.

Months of sad attempts at flirting and awkward giggling led up to this moment.

He knocked on Eddie’s door, smiling to himself when he heard music shut off and a curse as Eddie must’ve stumbled over something.

The door swung open and Eddie was standing there with his guitar slung over his back, hair pulled into a bun.

“Hey, Stevie.”

****

No other customers got to come to his apartment, that was his biggest rule.

A rule he broke the moment Steve had been in a rush and had only been a few blocks from where he lived.

He knew why, and he knew it was stupid, and that he was just hoping for something to happen. He needed Steve to make a move.

But Steve never did. He was kind of awkward, actually, not even close to as charming as his friend Jeff made him believe. Well, the awkwardness was actually a little charming. But Jeff had made it sound like he was some casanova who could get anyone he wanted with one line and a well-placed touch.

He never gave discounts, either, that was his other biggest rule.

But Steve never paid full price, not even the first time.

He’d looked exhausted and sad and, well, pathetic. Eddie felt bad for him and ended up giving him a bit of a buy one get one situation. And then he just…kept doing that.

Steve didn’t know. He didn’t think he knew. He never said anything about paying more elsewhere or anything, so maybe he just never shopped around.

Steve was one of his best customers, and at this point, Eddie needed to just make it clear that he wanted to be more.

That’s why the moment Steve texted him that he was on his way, Eddie had thrown his hair up and grabbed his guitar, trying to look effortless while putting as much effort as ever into how he looked. If this didn’t work, he wasn’t sure anything would.

The knock on the door sent him spiraling. Suddenly he hated every choice he made up until this point. Why had he put his hair up in a bun? It made him look like he just got out of bed. And this shirt had stains on it. Not obvious ones, but he could still see them.

He opened the door to see Steve standing there, smiling at him, fingers giving that silly little wiggle.

“Hey, Stevie,” he could hear how breathless he sounded, but he covered it with a slow inhale. “Come in. I was just practicing.”

“I’ll be quick then,” Steve said as he stepped in the doorway.

“No, it’s okay!” Jesus, Eddie, chill out.

Steve just smiled and settled his hands in his pockets. “You write your own stuff, right?”

While they may have only spoken for a few minutes at a time every week, they both gave plenty of little tidbits about themselves. Eddie had shared his love of music early on, talked about his band more than anything else.

“Yeah, when inspiration strikes.” Eddie shrugged.

“Have you been inspired lately?” Steve asked, still standing in front of Eddie with his hands in his pockets.

Eddie thought about the notebook open in his bedroom, line after line of lyrics about Steve.

“You could say that,” he answered.

“Could I hear one?” Steve asked.

Eddie never got nervous before playing in front of a crowd, or friends, or even his Uncle Wayne. He thrived on the adrenaline of an audience watching him, sometimes singing along, sometimes just nodding their head to the beat if they didn’t know the words.

But Steve hearing a song he wrote here? In his apartment? Alone?

His stomach was already turning and his chest constricted with anxiety.

“I mean, no pressure!” Steve quickly held his hands up. “You don’t have to.”

“No, it’s fine! I just usually play with my band, ya know? It won’t really sound the same without them, but if you really want…” Eddie looked towards his amp set up in the corner of his living room.

“I’d love to.”

Eddie was pretty sure this would scare Steve away, but maybe this was the move he had to make. At least he’d know one way or another if Steve was actually interested in him.

He knew exactly what song he wanted to play. He hadn’t even taken it to the guys yet, only played it acoustically so far because he knew it wouldn’t sound right with just his vocals and electric guitar.

It still needed some work lyrically, but he was pretty proud of it.

He gestured for Steve to sit on his couch, pushing thoughts about there being stains on his coffee table from not using coasters out of his mind so he could focus on his task at hand.

He rushed to the corner of the room to switch guitars, then rushed back and sat across from him on the couch.

“So this is one I haven’t even shown the band yet. I’m not sure if we’ll even play it. It’s…special to me,” Eddie rambled. “Sometimes I prefer to just have those for myself. Like sharing it with other people doesn’t feel right because it’s thoughts catered to me by me. That doesn’t even make sense-”

“Hey,” Steve placed his hand on Eddie’s arm. “It makes sense. I’m not really a musician or artist or anything, but one of the kids I used to babysit for was. He would get really nervous about stuff that was personal. I think it’s pretty normal.”

Eddie swallowed around the lump in his throat.

He was really doing this. Okay, then.

“Okay.” Eddie nodded. “Okay. Here we go.”

Eddie could feel Steve’s eyes on him as he sang a song about barely knowing someone but wanting them, about trusting that that person would be right for him, about getting a chance to love them. It was too much, but Steve didn’t run away, not even when Eddie finally looked up as he finished singing the last line.

“That was beautiful.” Steve had tears in his eyes. “I thought you guys were a metal band.”

Eddie laughed. “We are! This one will probably have some edits and I know Gareth will give it the double bass treatment. But for now, it’s more of a slow ballad.”

Steve had inched in closer to him while he played, his knee brushing against Eddie’s where it rested. He looked down at where they touched, then back up at Steve, who was biting his lip.

“This is gonna sound…so crazy. And you can totally kick me out and never let me come here ever again! But I just-”

“It’s about you.”

Steve’s breath caught as his eyes searched Eddie’s, probably looking for any sign that he was lying.

“You wrote a song about me?” Steve’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “Why?”

“Did you hear the part about knowing that something was right without knowing much at all?” Eddie leaned in, catching the scent of whatever cologne Steve had on.

“I just didn’t wanna assume you meant me.”

Eddie cupped Steve’s cheek in his palm. “You should always assume I mean you.”

*****

Steve leaned into Eddie’s hand, hoping the heat on his cheeks wasn’t too obvious.

“You barely know me, though.”

Eddie leaned in further, resting his forehead against Steve’s and breathing out.

“I know enough to know I wanna know more.”

“How long have you been feeling like this?”

“Before I gave you my address. No one else is allowed to pick up here.”

Steve’s eyes widened momentarily at his admission. He knew he had some special privilege with picking up at Eddie’s place, but didn’t realize he was the only one who did.

“But that was…months ago?” Steve had been sitting with his own feelings for so long, he was finding it hard to grasp that Eddie might have been feeling the same this whole time.

“Yeah. Seeing you for five to ten minutes every week has kind of been the highlight of my year,” Eddie admitted. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

Steve answered him by leaning in the last few inches to kiss him.

He ended up staying for the rest of the night, and most of the next day, and nearly any moment he wasn’t working was spent with Eddie.

Five minutes a week turned into five days a week quickly, and nothing made Steve happier than driving straight to Eddie’s apartment after a long shift. He had a key now, so that if Eddie happened to be at band practice or his own job, Steve could let himself in and relax.

Sometimes, if he was feeling particularly stressed, he’d grab one of Eddie’s edibles and hop in a hot shower.

Eddie usually made it back in time to join him, and they’d get carried away for hours.

It took months for Steve to realize Eddie never seemed to sell to anyone.

“You know it doesn’t bother me if you do. I know you’re careful,” Steve said over dinner.

“Stevie, I really only kept selling to see you.”

“Oh.” Steve looked down at his lap to hide his blush. “So do you need me to pitch in for rent or anything since I practically live here?”

“Sweetheart, I really didn’t need the money,” Eddie laughed as he reached for Steve’s hand. “I’m good. But if you wanted to move in, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“This is crazy, you know that, right?” Steve’s heart was racing in his chest at the suggestion.

“Not really. I love you, you love me, you do practically live here, and we spent over a year pining for each other. I think it’s time, don’t you?”

When he put it like that, Steve had no choice but to agree.

[jsprnt]

Americano PT. 16 | Jude Bellingham x Reader

What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?

A/N: hello loves!! I can’t believe we’ve already come to the end of this series😭 thank you guys so so much for all the love you’ve sent my work and efforts!! Love y’all so much, enjoy reading- and stay tuned for my future fics 🤍🩷

W/C: 4.025

part fifteen

I sigh for the millionth time today, leaning back against the backrest of my chair. I rub my wrists, massaging my fingers and knuckles, groaning in relief when I hear some of them pop.

There were only a handful of matches left in the league, along with the Champions League final. The entire PR and marketing department had been working overtime for a couple days now, wanting to end the season on a high note.

I was so tired and stressed out, internally debating whether to call in sick tomorrow, but there was no way the team could finish all of this without my help.

Since my role in the department has gotten much more important this season, I needed to attend more meetings and calls with a lot of different people.

Never in my life, had I exercised my social skills this much, and it was only a matter of time before my social battery ran so low that I couldn't take interacting with people anymore, without looking like a total jerk.

Though, the generous paycheck that dropped into my back account every month, motivated me to work harder, well, sometimes..

I shift from my position, grabbing a single pen from its holder. Looking back up to my laptop to write down some refreshing and creative questions for the upcoming, very important and widely viewed interviews.

Winning both the national league and the Champions League in the exact same season would be absolutely insane to witness.

I had experienced the feeling in my first season working at the club. After almost three years of getting to know the team and the players who had come and gone, this year would feel even more special.

I had grown closer to the club, not just as an employee but as a supporter as well. I had multiple personal and dear connections with the club.

My father had just renewed his contract with the club. A topic that everyone working for respective companies joked about was the possibility of the agreement not being renewed.

After all these years, both companies had become synonymous with each other.

I had also gotten closer to my colleagues, much closer than I would've ever imagined. Starting this job as an eighteen-year-old, I was incredibly intimidated by the sheer size of the operations behind the scenes.

Of course, juggling both working here and studying for my law degree was hard at first. Work in the morning had switched to the evening when attending the matches.

Study breaks consisting of trying to figure out what interview questions were rubbish and needed to be scrapped, and packing my little suitcase for another trip, only to overpack again.

Thankfully, I had gotten all of my results back from this school year, and I was absolutely over the moon knowing I'd be going for the third year of my degree after summer break.

All my hard work had finally paid off when I saw my grades, and I had celebrated it that night- with working…

The biggest change in my life?

That was the fact that I had actually found love.

Going from hating each other to loving each other was a weird feeling. Even so, Jude and I had been together for almost six months now, and honestly speaking; I had never felt so loved by anyone in the entire world before.

We supported each other wholeheartedly, and it was definitely easier to do than other couples.

Mostly, because we worked together.

Living together for the first few weeks of our relationship, definitely sped up the process of actually getting to know each other. It bonded us faster than I would’ve ever expected.

Looking back, it's difficult to even imagine a world where Jude never moved into my place..

Jude had moved out of my house in the middle of March. He had changed houses following everything that had happened the last few months.

The new house is quite far away from the old, temporary house he lived in, that got broken into. The home was spacious and modern, just like I'd expected before visiting for the first time.

My father and his partners at his firm, had finally built up a proper case to take the intruder to court. I didn't know the specifics because, for some reason I wasn’t allowed to, by both my own father and Jude.

I already knew that the man who had caused so much chaos wasn't getting off the hook easily, and that was enough for me. Knowing any more details about the situation, would probably cause me more stress and anxiety, so I had just learnt to let it go.

I couldn't even lie, lately I had spent more time at Jude’s place than my own. There was something so comforting about it, maybe it was how inviting and cozy it felt.

His friends from England and Germany would always be over, for the simplest of reasons.

Playing games, both board and video ones, watching new movies in the unnecessary, huge cinema room. It created a very fun and friendly atmosphere and made me feel more comfortable than ever.

Jude’s parent’s presence, especially his mother’s- was very much appreciated. I loved chatting to her, from the most mundane things, to the things that I was worried about.

Just like the other women in my life, she gave me guidance and encouragement to keep on going and be even better at anything I wanted to accomplish.

Obviously, there was no way we could keep on hiding our relationship from certain teammates Jude was very close with. We'd decided to be open with them, because keeping a 'secret' from them wouldn't exactly give us peace of mind in the long run.

Scratching what I've written down so far, I drop my pen onto the desk. Glancing up at the clock to check the time, and gasping softly when I remember I have a meeting that starts in a minute.

I quickly grab the necessary paperwork, and dash out of the office. Into the meeting room, already full of my coworkers, sat waiting only for me..

"Okay, I'm really confused. Do I have something on my face? Like sauce from lunch or something?" The puzzled y/n asks, turning around in her office chair, only to glance at the busy Lina.

"Uh.." The older woman begins, looking up from her monitor and shaking her head.

"Nope, no sauce. Why?" Lina takes her hand off the computer mouse, sighing before leaning back.

"Everyone has been looking at me, like since- this morning.." y/n rolls her chair forward, holding out her foot, to stop herself from violently slamming into Lina's desk.

"You think? I thought it was because your dress looked cute.."

Lina smirks at her own words, her hand reaching over to grab her purple water bottle, swiftly taking the top off and chugging a couple gulps.

y/n scoffs, glancing down at the dress she's wearing. Yes, of course the dress is cute, that's why she wore it today. But the stares she got were definitely not in appreciation of the cream-colored dress.

"Are you serious? I don't think-"

She's cut off by a loud knock. Both women break eye contact, looking up at the glass doors where someone is standing in front of.

"Jude?" y/n perks up, standing up from her chair and making a beeline towards him. Ignoring the unnecessarily loud and teasing whistle leaving Lina's mouth.

Stepping outside, she furrows her brows, looking around for anyone who could eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Follow me.." Jude can only say, immediately starting to walk down the stairs without sparing another second.

"What are you-" She trails off, sighing in defeat, before following him down, into one of the empty meditation rooms.

She looks at Jude as he locks the door behind them, his hand immediately reaching to wrap around her waist. He pulls her closer than ever, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Something wrong?" She asks, picking up on his stressed out demeanor. Pulling back, she scans his face once again.

"I have to show you something, but don't freak out, yeah? I called your dad already, and he said he'll see what he can do.."

This only sends her into a panic, his warning going over her head as she watches him pull his phone out of his pocket. Arms flexing underneath his training jacket as he moves.

She looks at him with a confused frown on her face, her eyes almost popping out of her head when Jude shows what was so important.

Grabbing the phone out of his hand without thinking, she brings the device closer to her face. A small noise of annoyance leaving her mouth.

It's all photos of the couple, outside during various times they had been on dates for the past- six months.

"This one's from Valencia, and this one's from that night in Mallorca?!" y/n exclaims, hands shaking as she tries to scroll through the other photos. All off guard pictures of them, taken while they were out together, after matches, and even on dates in Madrid.

Noticing how distressed the photos make his girlfriend, Jude grabs his phone out of her hand. Setting it down on the table next to him, he grabs onto her shoulders, making her look up at him.

"It's okay, we prepared for this, remember? I won't let my team put out a statement, apart from legal action. Your dad's handling it with my team, okay?" He brings her frazzled form into a reassuring hug, planting kisses on her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

Of course, just like her boyfriend explains- they knew their relationship couldn't be kept secret for much longer. Jude, being the high profile football player he is, couldn't exactly keep people from prying into his private life.

She knew that the media had caught a whiff of her, even back when they despised each other. The night at Wembley Stadium months ago, had caused a little commotion back then.

The gossip pages and newspapers loved a story containing love, a successful and beloved young man, and not to forget- her having actual connections to the club in both work, and her father's partnership with the club.

To the couple, when they entered the training center or the stadium, they would work at that particular day- it was about work and work only.

When they clocked in, they prioritized working. It would've obviously been very difficult for them to keep their relationship on the low- if they glanced at each other every damn second, while in the same room.

During working hours, they'd greet each other like their other colleagues, acting like they didn't make out the night before in his room.

Unavoidably, the players who knew about them dating, would try their best to sneak little jokes and teases in. The couple would successfully brush off the comments.

Practicing all these months made the perfect facade, but sometimes the jokes were too good not to chuckle, at least very discreetly.

"Okay, I trust you.." She mutters, pressing her face into her chest, a soft hum leaving her mouth. Thoughts and worries swirling through her mind.

"Baby! I'm ready!" I shout, almost falling flat on my face while pulling on my new heels.

These red bottoms were absolute hell to wear, especially since I had just gotten them as a gift, from Jude.

It would take some time before I could break them in, but with how stunning they looked paired with this dress, it was worth the pain, at least tonight.

To celebrate winning the league, Jude and I were finally going on a date. It had been a while since we had been on a proper date night, mostly due to how busy we both have been lately.

Jude with training and I with preparing everything, from interviews to social media posts, and even some press releases that needed to be out before the Champions League final that was in a couple days.

"I'm here.." I walk out of his bedroom, chuckling at the sheer amount of my clothes stuffed in his closet.

We had been staying over at each other's place on and off, but looking at both our closets, you'd think we'd been living together again.

Considering how important the past few weeks had been, Jude had been training a lot. I was especially worried about him and his health, mainly thinking of his shoulder injury.

His doctor and the team's physiotherapist had reassured me personally, but still, I could help but wince every time he touched his shoulder and grunted. Or seeing the multiple, pain-stopping injections, he had to take to play a full ninety minutes.

"You look handsome.." I mutter when reaching the front door, pressing a kiss onto his plump lips, my hands reaching to fix the collar of his button down. My lipgloss leaving a sheen of glitter on his lips, it making me chuckle as he gave me a dumbfounded look.

We’re fairly young, and early in our relationship, we realized that fancy dates weren't really our thing. But tonight was one of the few occasions we'd go all out, and dress up very nicely.

"You look absolutely stunning, love.." He smiles, his hand circling around my waist and down my back, fingers digging into the fabric of my dress.

"Thank you, baby.." I hum, giving him a small wink. A loud chuckle leaves my lips as he attempts to wink back, though, just like every time, it looks like he's got something in his eyes, instead of being cheeky.

"What's so funny, hm?" Jude questions, hands trailing down to grip at my bum, squeezing slightly.

"Mhm, nothing.." I say, reaching up to fix his hair a little. "Should we leave? It's getting late.."

He agrees instantly, and I wrap my arm around his as we walk out of his house. The sun hadn't set yet, mostly because summer was coming soon, and I couldn't wait to enjoy the weather this year, yet again.

"Wait- I didn't grab my keys.." I gasp, eyes going wide as I watch him pull the door shut.

"Oh, you're definitely not driving missy, especially not in those heels.." Jude says, giving me a cheeky smile, and I can immediately sense that he is hiding something.

"You got your license?!" I beam, eyes glistening in happiness. Though, my excitement is cut short when he shakes his head, an embarrassed look on his face.

"No, I did not get my license.."

"Oh.." I say, the corners of my mouth twitching as I hold back a menacing laugh.

"So, you'll be my passenger prince forever?" I bring my hand up to grab onto his bicep, squeezing the muscles as my body leans against his.

"Will you ever stop saying that?" I watch his lips move, eyes glimmering when his lips pull into a slight pout.

"When you get your license, sir. I'll stop calling you my passenger prince..."

"I'm sure you would like a break from it then.." Jude says, his expression changing to a smug one within a split-second, and I follow his lead without thinking.

My uncomfortable heels click against the concrete as Jude leads me outside the gates of the house, a sleek black Rolls Royce parked right in front of the driveway.

"You got a driver for tonight?" I ask, eyes fixated on the, admittedly sexy car.

"Going all out for my lovey tonight. I've got to spoil my girl, always.."

I grin at his sweet words, warmth reaching my face, and I suddenly feel shyness creeping up on me. I shift my gaze for a second, avoiding eye contact with him and staring at the concrete.

"Aw, is my pretty girl shy now? You weren't like this a moment ago, huh?" A soft noise of protest leaves my mouth at the loving words. My breath hitching as he presses a kiss on my neck, right against my jugular.

"Come on, love. We'll be very late to our reservation if I keep you here longer.." Jude gives me a charming smile, grabbing onto my hand and pulling me towards the car, making me forget whatever my thoughts were before he'd made my heart flutter.

"I'm sweating literal buckets. I can't even breathe properly right now.." My eyes immediately shift to Luis, my right eye twitching, just like it has been on and off this entire day. The stress and anxiety of this all had been building up in us both, causing actual physical symptoms to show.

"Ask me about it, I went peeing two times already, and we're just seventy minutes into this match.." I say, wiping my sweaty hands down my black jeans. The laptop and phone on my lap shaking, as I bounce my knee up and down in anticipation.

My heart also leaped in my throat every time Jude got fouled. Checking the stats confirmed my suspicion, he currently is the most fouled player on the pitch.

I obviously knew it was a part of the game, but considering his injury- I couldn't help but be worried.

"Fuck, I swear if we score, I'm going to lose my shit." Luis says, running a hand through his curly hair, and I can almost feel the nerves radiating off of him.

Well, all 90.000 people in Wembley Stadium feel the exact same way right now. From supporters to chairmen of both respective clubs, sitting on the edge of their seats as we all watched the Champions League final between Real Madrid and Borussia Dortmund unfold, live in front of our own two eyes.

My breath hitches in my throat as we're given a corner. The grip on my phone getting tighter as Luis glances at me.

"Okay, we got this, Toni's so experienced-"

"Shut up, I'm trying to focus.." I exclaim, grabbing onto Luis' shoulder to calm him down.

"You can't exactly focus with 90,000 people screaming.." He replies, glancing at me.

I open my mouth to speak, but decide to spare my breath, and stop breathing in anticipation.

Right, at that moment, Toni kicks the ball from the corner flag, it flies upwards as we watch both our players and Dortmund players scramble in front of the goal.

Finally, Dani jumps up and GOALLLL!!

The entire Madridista side jumps up in celebration, my devices almost slipping out of my hand and onto the floor as we jump up to cheer as loud as we can.

"I'm going to kiss Dani's forehead after this!" Luis screams, making me choke on my laughter. I hurry up and return my attention back to my devices, as happy as we were, we still had our job to do and execute.

I close my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm down, before we both go back to doing our jobs.

Our wishes and prayers for a second goal aren't that far away, time-wise. Dortmund player Maatsen tries passing the ball, due to a wrong estimation, Jude gets the ball instead, shooting to Vini.

He goes on to score the second banger of the night. The stadium erupts in both cheers of happiness and screams of protest.

It's even louder than after the first goal, and we know it's only a matter of five minutes before our boys secure the victory over this season's Champions League..

y/n fixes her shirt for the nth time, trying to fidget with something before she loses her mind. Standing in the tunnel, she glances at Luis. Both of their eyes glimmering, as they wait for the families of the players to enter the pitch to celebrate the win.

They were insanely busy with handling their work, channelling their emotions into doing their job, to make sure it's all taken care of before they were done for the night. The automated system, consisting of already edited work, would take care of the rest from now on...

"Dude, what just happened?.." Luis whispers, glancing at the equally mesmerized girl next to him.

"We won!" She squeals, letting her excitement and happiness show as she hugs Luis. "Fuck, I don't even know what I would do if we lost. I'd actually be having a breakdown right now.."

Luis hugs her back, patting her head affectionately.

"You've worked very hard, y/n. Thank you for being my best friend and best colleague.." He says, giving her a brotherly smile.

"Thank you too, older brother.." She laughs, voice slightly teasing, as she pats his shoulder.

"Oh, I think we can join the celebrations.." He says, pointing to the families they’ve gotten very close with over the years.

The familiar faces joining their loved one on the pitch to celebrate this huge milestone in their careers.

"Come on.." Luis says, dragging her along and onto the pitch.

She looks around, a permanent smile plastered on her face as she's overwhelmed by the emotions running through her body.

"Dani!" Luis shouts, and y/n watches him run up to the goal scorer, just like his promise- Luis plants a fat kiss on the athlete's head.

y/n laughs loudly at the interaction, making eye contact with Dani’s wife, and laughing even harder at her confused expression.

She shakes her head at her best friend’s antics. Realizing she's alone now, she freezes. Cameras were absolutely everywhere at the moment, and she was absolutely sure at least one was pointed towards her.

The weeks following the photos of their dates being leaked were quite turbulent, with a lot of support, but also criticism- it was very difficult to ignore the reactions.

She wasn't anywhere close to wanting to be a public figure of some sort, so the attention was putting a lot of pressure on her.

But loving a star athlete, like Jude meant having to sacrifice some part of her privacy. If it meant she could run up to him now, and kiss his face a couple of times.

Then screw privacy, she'd throw that all away to get to him right now.

Her eyes darting to the rest of the enormous pitch again, frowning when she can't find the boy she's so desperately looking for.

Finally, after squinting a whole lot, and definitely causing damage to her eye muscles, she finally makes eye contact with the equally lost looking Jude.

He's standing in between both his parents, arms around them as he looks around wearily.

Jude's eyes immediately light up in relief when he spots y/n, mumbling something to his smiley parents before he makes a run for it.

Within seconds, he's by his girlfriend's side, and she jumps up to wrap her legs around his waist in greeting. He pulls her flush against him in a tight embrace. y/n cups his jaw tenderly to place multiple kisses on his face.

"I'm so fucking proud of you, baby.." She breathes out, cut off as he presses his lips onto hers, exhilarating kiss that makes them forget other people are around, and especially the hundreds of cameras and phones filming the pitch.

He catches her lips, plump lips sucking onto her bottom lip before they're forced to pull back for air. They pant, faces warm, and cheeks hurting from how much they'd smiled within the past couple minutes.

"I'm proud of you too, baby. Come on, you're my family too. Forget about work and the cameras here for me, yeah?”

She plants her shoes back onto the grass when he lowers back on the floor. She looks down as he grabs onto her hand. Playing with her fingers as he makes eye contact with her.

Reaching up, she swipes at a piece of grass stuck on his temple, probably from being fouled earlier, she chuckles at the sight, biting her lip.

“Come on, then. Your parents are waiting..” She says, turning and dragging him along the pitch. Skipping towards his awaiting, happy parents. Who look at them with an infinite amount of joy and proudness in their eyes.

“He’s a winner! Jude’s our winner!!”

[suzukiblu]

hi! i have a question for you, if that’s ok? i always try to leave comments on fics i read, especially on ao3 where it’s really easy to do that. in other fandoms i’ve been in, before getting into dc, fic authors often responded to my comments on their works and it was pretty easy to make friends through that and other social media and have lots of fun interactions talking about the fandom and our favorite characters etc.

however, i’ve found with this fandom it seems to be very different? almost nobody seems to respond to comments on their fics and i’ve found it very difficult to make any fandom friends, even in a casual-tumblr-mutuals kind of way. (this isn’t about you btw, you seem like the friendliest person i’ve come across on here so far which is why i’m asking you haha)

i completely understand many people are busy or some authors may find responding to comments overwhelming, but i was just wondering if this is something you or anyone else has noticed? is it a quirk of the dc fandom in particular? or am i just getting older and fandoms in general are changing haha, idk.

anyway sorry for the long ramble, feel free to ignore if i’m making no sense. i really enjoy all your stories (and your art! your art style is so cute!) and i hope you’re having a great day :]

Thank you, I'm glad you like my stuff! Especially the art, that I always feel like I'm worse at, hah. ❤️ I hope you're having a great day too. And asking me questions is always okay, no worries! I can't always get to everything in my inbox, to be honest, but I do my best to respond to as much stuff as I can. Either way, though, I never mind getting questions.

Personally I don't currently respond to most of my comments (I try to answer questions that aren't spoilers, but that's usually it these days) because it's just really easy for me to run out of spoons doing it and end up down a rabbit hole of comments instead of actually WRITING, which stresses me out because then I don't feel suitably "productive" for my imposter syndrome brain, and I also know a few people who don't respond because of anxiety or things like that, but I don't know if it's specifically a DC fandom thing or an overall trend in fandom in general? Every fandom is different, obviously, and also certain SECTIONS of those fandoms are different. Like, when I was into MCU fandom, I never really expected super-involved responses when I wrote Stucky because there was SO MUCH Stucky that it seemed like a lot of people just kinda churned through it and it all blurred together for them, but when I wrote about Darcy Lewis oh BOY did people come out of the woodwork to tell me how much they loved it in GREAT detail. Having a niche in general helps, I think, because if you're doing something that isn't super-common or interested in something that isn't super-common, people will be more excited to see it from you or hear you appreciating it from them.

I WILL say there's only a couple DC authors I can currently think of who I generally assume I'll get replies from when I comment on their fic, but I don't know if that's the specific fandom or just that I'm not reading a ton of fic right now and therefore have a smaller pool of authors I'm commenting on. Like, it's hard to tell, honestly. Also DC is a very widespread fandom and pretty old and established, but there's definitely characters and series and canons that just get ignored by huge chunks of it, so if you're into them you either have a real easy time finding people who are excited to talk to you or a real HARD time, depending on where you're looking.

Either way, I think it's really great that you try to leave comments on everything you read and a really good habit for the fandom ecosystem, I know a TON of authors who appreciate getting even, like, a single friggin' emoji or kudos, whether they respond or not. Literally any not-a-hate-comment comment is good for the ecosystem, imo, even when it's not obvious that it is. I very literally once wrote, like, eighty thousand words pretty much just because someone left a very kind comment on an old fic I'd abandoned. I did not actually RESPOND to that comment, as far as I remember; I just changed my mind about abandoning the fic and went through the long-ass process of getting my brain back into it and then the even longer-ass process of writing another 80k over the next few months/year until I got to the end. So like, I VERY much am a person who believes in the value of feeding the ecosystem, hah.

I am largely a call-and-response type of writer myself, so like, getting comments or people talking to me in my replies/asks/messages is basically like somebody is putting tokens in the fic machine and pulling a lever, and we'll all just see if I write three sentences or 80k or secretly tailor a fic towards things a frequent commenter's mentioned appreciating/being into. It's a surprise every time, with me!! And like, that's just how I work, of course, everybody's different, but I have NEVER met anybody who told me they didn't like getting comments.

When I leave comments myself, I tend to feel like more like I'm just telling the author that I think they're on the right track with the thing they're writing, one way or another, and letting them know it got a reaction or feelings or the like out of me, but I'm generally not really expecting a response from them. For actually making friends, I've found MUCH more luck in talking to people on Tumblr and Discord than on AO3. I've made friends on AO3 on and off over the years, but it's just much, MUCH easier for me to do on Tumblr and Discord. Though I kind of have a cheat code there in the sense that I'm a pretty prolific writer and so I've kinda encouraged people to get into the habit of checking my blog pretty frequently or even put alerts on for it, so generally people have a lot of opportunities to talk to me or be reminded I'm around.

I tend to notice people who show up repeatedly in my Tumblr mentions, personally, especially when they talk in the tags or comment in the replies or send me asks, and some of them I've either become friends with or just, like, secretly adopted as secret faves and sometimes sneak little extra treats of Things I Think That One Tumblr Person Would Like into my writing or pick specific WIPs to work on because I think "hey last time I wrote this [ TUMBLR FAVE ] really liked it, I should write more!" (and then I cackle in triumph/delight when they reblog it later, for that is a Victory, mwahaha), but like, it's a process? I definitely feel like making friends in fandom is generally slower than it was once upon a time, but also I'm a Fandom Old so there's been a few migrations and such over my time online too. And also Discord confuses me, hahaha. Discord is VERY confusing to me.

Ummm . . . okay I got INTO that reply, I guess, lol, but I hope that answered your question? Or at least helped answer it, if nothing else!

[rambleonwaywardson]

Clegan Olympics AU - Media/The Paris Date

Part 5, basically, if we're going in order. Find the rest on this masterpost.

AU Summary: Paris 2024 Olympics. Gale is on the U.S. equestrian eventing team, Bucky is a U.S. gymnast, they meet on the plane to Paris, and a love story ensues.

Author's Note: I am altering the official Olympic events schedule slightly to accommodate my needs here, mainly so Bucky can watch Gale compete. This installment mentions the stadium jumping round of eventing, which I will likely go back and actually write later. For now, enjoy whatever this is!

---

Bucky will never understand the public fascination with “famous” people’s personal lives. Everyone is always so concerned about all the wrong things. Who was seen with who and are they dating? What does this or that social media post mean? Why does so and so suddenly have a new hair style? 

He also doesn’t quite understand why or how or when he became “famous.” All he ever wanted to be was a gymnast, so he did that. He worked hard, did some flips, won some medals. Then suddenly, one day, there were reporters reaching out to him and photographers taking his picture and morning shows having him on TV and everyone cared far too much about his physical well being all the damn time. He became the USA gymnastics poster boy and he doesn’t recall anyone ever even asking him if that’s what he wanted to be. He won't complain, but he doesn't get it, either. All of a sudden, the girls wanted to date him and the guys wanted to look like him and everyone wanted to know if he was single.

And then, one day, he woke up to a media storm that compounded an already tumultuous time of his life. His coach and teammates were blowing up his phone. Reporters were emailing him and asking ‘for a comment.’ A jilted lover was knocking on his door and demanding he fix this.

It was 7:00 in the morning on some should’ve-been-normal weekday just a few months after the Tokyo Olympics, and suddenly the whole country knew that John Egan, U.S. gymnastics darling, was gay. 

Bucky isn’t exactly proud of the little phase he went through after the Tokyo Olympics. He can admit that now. His older sister, his rock and his best friend, died in a car crash just weeks before he left for Tokyo. She never got to see him accomplish everything she’d ever wished for him. The night that she died, she asked him if he could drive her to the airport. He doesn’t even remember where she was heading - such a small detail in the grand scheme of it all, but one he wishes hadn’t slipped away. He told her he couldn’t, because he had to be at the gym. He had to train for the Olympics, the team to which he’d only just been selected for the first time. So she drove herself. 

She never made it to the airport.

Bucky’s last text to her – “make it alright?” – remains to this day unanswered in his phone. He’ll never even know that she hadn’t been mad at him in the slightest for denying her a ride. That she was just too proud of him. He’ll never know that she’d never blame him, not even for a second. 

At the Games, Bucky managed to concentrate all of his anger, all of his grief, into his sport. He did what they call “angry gymnastics,” and it served him well for those few days. He threw every fucked up thing he felt onto the floor, the bar, the rings, like if he could somehow just win a medal there, do what his sister always believed he could, then it might make something okay again. 

Spoiler alert: It didn’t. 

He did win a medal, a silver on rings. Sure, he was proud of himself. Sure, he knew his sister would be, too. Sure, it felt good. But really, he couldn’t feel a damn thing. He went home. Back to his life. Back to his grief and anger and hate for this unfair world. Hate for himself. 

It’s not like he fell off the deep end or anything, but he was lost for a while. He stopped caring about the world around him. Stopped caring about his own well being. Caring only ever lead to pain. He drank too much. Smoked a joint here and there. Barely slept. Ghosted his friends when he wasn’t in the gym pouring his heart and soul into gymnastics. He went to bars and hooked up with a few too many men. 

And then he met a guy who he legitimately liked at first. They went on a few dates, Bucky always trying too hard to avoid the media. The problem was, the guy didn’t like that Bucky wasn’t out. He wanted to go out together, do things in public together, be together. But Bucky refused. Not only did he have an image to think about, a very public career that he desperately needed to keep intact. He was also terrified of commitment. Or rather, he was terrified of being hurt by someone he was committed to. He couldn’t stand another chip being broken off of his already shattered heart. 

So he dumped the guy. Plain and simple.

But not before some reporter leaked pictures of them together to the media. How they got those photos, Bucky still doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. All he knows is they showed up one day: photos of John Egan holding hands across a table with this guy. Kissing him against a wall. Laughing over drinks. They showed up one day, and they spun his life into something he couldn’t control on his own anymore. Suddenly everyone knew this secret he’d been holding onto, and no one knew how to feel about it. 

That was three years ago. He’s in a good place now, despite the shit show of his leg replacing one John Egan gossip story with another. So yeah, he is, perhaps, a little tired of the media, between all of the ‘John Egan opens up about his sexuality’ stories and the ‘John Egan’s shocking comeback’ stories. It’s exhausting. 

He has to admit, though, the stories going around about him and Gale Cleven are a nice change. 

–

The cameras don’t miss a thing. You learn that early on as a public figure.

The cameras are there when the U.S eventing team wins Olympic bronze, their first Olympic medal since 2004. They track each horse and rider through their stadium jumping round, honing in on every knocked rail and every bad line and every perfect takeoff and landing. 

When Gale Cleven has a solid round, they zoom in on the entire U.S. men’s gymnastics team in the stands, on their feet and clapping like they have a clue what’s going on in that arena. John Egan is at the center, pumping a fist in the air. And Gale, cantering Whiskey out of the ring, looks up into the stands with a smile and a wave, directed right at John. The camera sees it, and the world sees it, too. 

The cameras are there when the U.S. men’s gymnastics team wins silver, their first Olympic medal since 2008. They give viewers an up-close view of every single apparatus. Every impeccable event, every fall, every hand out of place and every step back on a landing. They show Curt’s jaw-dropping vault and Croz’s sheer determination to get it done on pommel horse despite a near slip at the start. The cameras see every facial expression, every celebration and every self-admonition.

The cameras zoom in on the stands, and the commentators take note when Gale sits down with Marge and Benny, just in time for the fifth rotation. Gale and Benny are both still wearing their team USA riding clothes, leaving no doubt who they are or where they came from. They’d made a mad dash straight here after winning team bronze, and there is only one explanation for why the youngest members of the equestrian team care to rush over to the team gymnastics final. When John Egan puts up a phenomenal floor routine that night, the cameras hone in on Gale, usually so calm and stoic, cheering louder than anyone in the stadium.

When Gale and Whiskey, against all odds, win silver in individual eventing, the cameras capture his touching reaction. The way he looks shocked and thrilled at the same time. The way he throws his arms around Whiskey’s neck and buries his face in her mane. They record every movement as a medal is placed around his neck, a ribbon on the side of Whiskey’s bridle. They're recording as he and the other medalists take a victory lap around the ring. And they record Bucky’s reaction in the stands, pressed to the rail with unquestionable love all over his face.

There was simply never any point in Bucky and Gale acting like they weren’t a thing. Even if they’re not quite sure what they are anyways. They just are. Bucky thinks there must be too many news outlets if so many of them are this concerned about his relationship status, but he gets a good laugh from the headlines.

‘Fly High and Stick the Landing: big wins for an unlikely Olympic couple’

‘Is John Egan dating Gale Cleven?’

‘Summer Lovin’ at the Paris Olympics’

‘Olympic Love in the City of Love’

‘An Olympic Love Story. What Gymnastics and Equestrian Have In Common’

Interest in the equestrian team shoots up practically overnight. If Gale wasn’t in the public eye before, he sure as shit is now.

Pictures circulate of John and Gale together. John’s arm around Gale’s shoulder during the Opening Ceremonies boat parade. John pointing at Gale in the stands after landing an impeccable vault. Gale messing up John’s hair as they walk outside the Olympic Village dining hall, both of them laughing at God knows what. Holding hands at a café. Walking shoulder to shoulder along the Seine. 

And, of course, that picture-perfect moment after cross country. Gale sitting atop Whiskey at the end of the course, right by the fence with John on the other side. Gale reaching his hand down, John holding it in his own. John staring up at Gale like he hung the moon – no, like he designed the universe itself. Gale looking at him the exact same way. 

That’s the picture that has everyone talking. 

‘Everything We Know About John Egan’s New Beau’

“Buck.” Bucky leans into Gale’s side and shows him the article pulled up on his phone screen. “You’re my beau,” he teases. 

Gale squints at the headline and zooms in on the photo. He makes a note to find it again and save it later. “Am I?” He asks. He tries to sound like he’s joking more than he actually is, but he wonders if John can hear the slight pitch in his voice, if he knows that Gale wants him to say yes. 

Bucky turns his head to look at him. “Certainly seems that way doesn’t it?” He presses his lips gently to Gale’s, using his free hand to delicately cup his cheek. 

“You two are fuckin’ insufferable.” 

They pull apart, Gale chewing his lower lip bashfully and Bucky flipping the bird at Curt as he and Croz approach them. “Fuck off,” Bucky tells him, and he hates the way Gale stiffens and shifts away just the littlest bit, the warmth at Bucky’s side disappearing. 

Croz flicks Curt on the arm. “Leave ‘em alone. Gale is the most emotionally healthy guy Bucky’s ever brought home to us.”

“Hey!” Bucky protests. Gale raises an eyebrow at him, amused. A silent is that true? Bucky groans. 

“What?” Croz asks innocently. “We all know it’s true.”

“I don’t,” Gale points out. 

Curt looks at him. Looks at Bucky. Back at Gale. “Trust us. It’s true.”

Gale awaits confirmation from Bucky, who just shrugs and reaches for his hand, thankful when Gale doesn’t pull away or press the subject further. When Marge and Benny arrive, the group of them set off to take on Paris. They’re celebrating their victories: a bronze medal for the US eventing team, a silver for USA gymnastics, and a silver for Gale. They’re far from done. Marge has stadium jumping coming up in a couple of days. Bucky and Curt qualified for individual all around. Plus Bucky qualified for floor exercise and still rings, Curt for vault, and Croz for parallel bars. 

But for now, they’re going to go be silly American tourists and toast the road so far. 

–

Six friends, some old and some new, meander along the Champs-Elysées. They don’t bother blending in, half of them wearing Team USA regalia and the others talking loudly in their obviously American accents. They stop at a café, where Marge and Gale, as the only French speakers, have to order for everyone. Curt, Bucky, and Benny all insist on trying to pronounce menu items in French – a language none of them know the first thing about other than “oui” and “baguette.” When they butcher the words terribly and somehow manage to offend everyone within a half mile radius, Marge has to apologize profusely to the waiter while Gale pinches the bridge of his nose and begs the others to shut the fuck up. 

This leads to an exchange where the waiter refuses to speak French with the stupid Americans, even the ones who speak French rather well. Marge, meanwhile, refuses to revert to English, leading to an increasingly tense conversation where the Frenchman is speaking English and the American woman is speaking French until finally Gale just pulls them all out of there because they’re causing a scene and people are taking pictures.

They choose a different café, where Gale instructs everyone to stand outside and not do anything stupid while he goes in and orders everyone’s coffee. When he returns, he finds Croz delicately holding the side of his face, Marge stifling a laugh beside him. “What happened?” Gale asks in exasperation, box of to-go coffee cups in hand. 

“He accidentally offended a French girl and she slapped him,” Marge explains. 

“How?” 

Marge shakes her head. “You don’t wanna know.”

“And you didn’t stop him?” Gale pleads. 

Marge shrugs, motioning to the hopeless group of young men in front of her. “They have to learn somehow.”

Gale has no words. Bucky kisses him on the cheek, takes the coffees from him, and starts passing them out. “It’s fine, Buck. Croz deserved it.”

“Buck?” Benny looks between the two of them, his brow furrowed. Gale knows he’ll hear about that when he gets back to their room tonight – “He gave you his name!”

Gale shrugs. “Long story.”

“Buck and Bucky.” Curt nods, like it makes all the sense in the world. “Yeah, I can get behind that.” And no one else says a thing about it.

At the top of the Arc de Triomphe, they can see much of the city spread out like a map around them. Roads extend outwards in all directions from this central point at the Place de l’Étoile, like rays emanating from a star. 

They convince someone to take a picture of all of them together with the Eiffel Tower in the background. Their unwitting photographer takes multiple, capturing a slow, stop-motion procession into chaos as Curt’s empty coffee cup blows away in the wind, he tries to catch it, nearly knocks Croz over in the process, Benny starts laughing his ass off, Marge abandons them in exasperation, and Bucky and Gale hardly even notice as they find themselves the only two left, lost in each others’ eyes. 

Bucky posts the entire sequence on Instagram with a caption that says nothing but “Look out, Paris!”

At Marge’s request, they take the Paris métro through the city to Notre Dame. They nearly board the wrong train, and then proceed to miss their stop completely, but they make it, only to find that it’s still not open to the public. Marge claims she knew this and wanted to see it anyway, and Benny complains about having to traverse the whole city just to stand in front of an old building. 

“It wasn’t nearly the whole city you idiot,” Marge protests. “And it’s not just an old building. It’s over 800 years old. And it’s beautiful!”

They stand in a line of six, staring up at the grand architecture, the arches and spires and ornate detailing that on one hand is exquisite, and on the other seems over the top. “It’s like, some kinda church?” Curt asks. 

“Yes,” Gale confirms. 

“Am I supposed to pray or some shit?”

Bucky snorts. “You could start by not sayin’ shit.”

“That ain’t fuckin’ happenin’,” Curt says. But they wander around outside of the building for a while, until the massive crowd becomes not worth it anymore and all the boys start complaining that they’re hungry. So they meander back the way they came, walking along the Seine in the early evening sun. 

They all get a little wine drunk in some restaurant along the riverfront, raising their glass in a toast to team USA. “To Buck and Bucky for bringing this unlikely group together,” Croz proclaims. “And to our victories so far. May our good fortune continue.” Their glasses clink together across the table, and everyone drinks to that. 

Thankfully, after the café fiasco, the non-French speaking boys in the group conceded all food ordering needs to Gale and Marge. Curt manages not to even say anything offensive about the wine or how obnoxious the French can be about it. Benny, however, mutters something snarky as he takes a sip, and Curt nearly spits Merlot all over the table, coughing and gasping for breath after he accidentally inhales the alcohol. Their whole table gets some annoyed looks as they try, and fail, to keep themselves from laughing, and Gale finds that he likes how these two friend groups mesh together. Even if he, feeling buzzed himself and knowing the others are probably worse off, eventually decides to usher them out before they can do any real damage to the American athlete reputation. 

He fears he may be too late, but he can try. 

That’s when they split up, wandering off in separate directions. Marge and Benny one way, Curt and Croz in another. And that leaves Gale and Bucky, alone and tipsy in the middle of Paris. Again. “Not sure it’s a good idea to turn Curt and Croz loose in this city,” Gale says, watching the pair of them literally skip off down the street. 

Bucky grabs both of his hands, pulling his attention back to him. “Don’t worry about them,” he insists. Then he kisses Gale right there on the sidewalk, as if he’s been waiting to do that all day. “City of Love. Where are we going next?”

Bucky doesn’t know what he expects, but it’s not for Gale to take him for ice cream, that’s for sure. Bucky doesn’t think anyone other than his parents has ever taken him out for ice cream, and he has to admit that this feels an awful lot like an actual date. Bucky hasn’t been on an actual date since his forced coming-out media extravaganza.

But they sit at a cute little table outside of a cute little ice cream shop and Bucky eats the cute little strawberry ice cream cone that Gale just ordered for him. Gale ordered it for him, like they’re on a date. Bucky is mid-competition here; he probably should not be eating ice cream. But he decides he doesn’t give a damn because this is the happiest he’s felt in months, and he’d be a fool to say no when a gorgeous, amazing guy orders him ice cream in the middle of Paris. Gale is leaning his elbows on the table across from him, licking the drips of melted chocolate ice cream that are falling over the sides of his cone. Bucky’s eyes are drawn to that motion, locked onto Gale’s mouth as he thinks about what else it can do. 

“Could you be any more subtle?” Gale asks. 

Bucky holds his ice cream out to the side and leans across the table, tilting Gale’s chin up with gentle fingers and pressing their lips together. “Is that better?” he whispers. 

“You taste like strawberry,” Gale murmurs. Then he kisses John again. 

A camera shutter clicks, and Bucky whips his head around, all too used to that sound. He hopes it’s just a stranger, taking pictures of their own Paris vacation, but sure enough there’s a photographer for some magazine or another with a camera pointed straight at them. Bucky rolls his eyes and groans. He tries to scoot his chair around the table so he’s between Gale and the photographer who has decided their personal lives are the world’s business. He glances behind him and sees that a second one has joined him. 

Gale glances over at them and raises an eyebrow, then gives Bucky the same look. 

“Sorry,” Bucky says. “We can leave? If you want.”

“It’s fine,” Gale says. 

“I’m tired of the media thinking they deserve a front row seat to my life. I don’t want them to get to you, too.”

“It’s fine, Bucky,” Gale repeats. “Don’t let them ruin this, okay?”

Bucky nods, but he sticks up his middle finger over his shoulder, making Gale choke on a mouthful of ice cream as he laughs. 

“You know if they keep this up, the cameras are gonna be all on you every single time I’m up tomorrow,” Bucky points out. “Wait, you’re coming tomorrow right?”

Tomorrow is individual All Around. Gale looks at him, amused. Just about nothing can keep him away. “Yes, I’m coming.”

Bucky nods, relieved. “They always show the reactions of people the gymnast cares about. So. That’s you, now.”

Gale doesn’t know what to say to that, so instead he extends his free hand across the table, inviting Bucky to meet him halfway. Bucky does, their fingers twining together without a second thought.

Several pictures of John Egan and Gale Cleven will surface from today. Kissing against a wall outside of a restaurant or across a table at an ice cream shop. Holding hands outside of Notre Dame. Walking down the Seine with their friends, John’s hand on Gale’s waist. Headlines will read ‘Clegan takes on Paris’ and ‘John Egan’s Parisian Date,’ titles which they both think are highly lacking in creativity.

For now, though, they eat their ice cream and try their best to ignore everything else. Bucky knocks his knee against Gale’s under the table. Gale reaches across and uses his thumb to wipe pink strawberry ice cream off the side of Bucky’s mouth. They laugh about silly things and tell each other random facts about themselves. Their favorite colors and favorite foods, music tastes and movie must-sees, their greatest accomplishments and most embarrassing competition moments. 

“How do you say ice cream in French?” Bucky asks as he reaches the end of his cone. 

“La glace,” Gale responds easily. 

“Strawberry ice cream?”

“La glace aux fraises.”

“Chocolate?”

“La glace au chocolat.” Gale shakes his head with a fond smile, popping the last of his cone into his mouth. “You heard me order in there. You just want me to speak French again.”

“So what if I do?” Bucky nonchalantly reaches across the table to take Gale’s hand in his. He rubs his thumb over the smooth skin before pressing a careful kiss to the back of Gale’s knuckles. 

He’s considered making a game of seeing how many times he can make Gale blush, but he’s forgotten to keep track. The flush that rises to his cheeks now is still a victory. Gale looks him dead in the eye, though, with such indisputable lust, and Bucky feels this magnetic pull, a warmth deep in his chest and an unquenchable want, knowing he has Gale’s full attention. 

“Maybe you should learn the language if that’s how you’re gonna be,” Gale suggests. 

Bucky shrugs, leaning further over the table again. “Why? I don’t care what you’re saying. Just that you’re saying it.”

Gale mimics him, leaning across the table until they’re just about nose to nose. His lips are parted, and Bucky flicks his eyes down to them. Gale smirks. “What if I’m saying something rude?”

“I don’t care,” Bucky insists. “I’d still wanna do dirty things to you on top of this table.”

“Mon dieu,” Gale mutters, his eyes fluttering closed as he wills his heart to slow down. Then he laughs softly and shakes his head. “Come on.” He gets to his feet and tightens his grip on Bucky’s hand, pulling him up out of his chair. “I wanna show you something.”

--

Something turns out to be the fucking Eiffel Tower. Which they are currently standing on top of. “Whoa,” Bucky breathes out. He can't even be disappointed that something wasn't, in fact, a bedroom where they could carry on with their shameless flirting. They’re standing at the railing, looking out over the city as the sun disappears behind the horizon. The sky is painted in watercolor shades of pink and purple, streaked with clouds reflecting what little is left of the daylight. They watch as bright white and yellow lights flicker on in the growing darkness, the city lighting up little by little far below them, like a constellation growing into a galaxy.

“You’ve been to Paris before, right?” Bucky asks. He grabs Gale gently by the waist, pulling him in close, and then wraps his arms around him from behind. He rests his chin on Gale’s shoulder, and Gale rests his hands over top of Bucky’s.

“A few times,” Gale says. “France is big on equestrian competition. Home of FEI.”

“FEI?”

“Fédération Équestre Internationale.” Bucky grins as the words roll off Gale’s tongue, the French accent shining through. Even though he can't see it, Gale knows, and he rolls his eyes.

Bucky glances at all of the other couples around them who are taking in this beautiful city with thoughts of romance and grandeur. “You bring all your dates up here?” 

“You’re the only one I’ve ever brought up here,” Gale says smoothly, like it’s not a big deal. But the hint of a smile, that miniscule uptick at the corner of his mouth, gives him away. Bucky’s satisfied with that.

“You know how to make a guy feel special.”

Gale hums quietly. They stand there in silence, broken by nothing but the sounds of life continuing down below and the murmuring of other visitors milling about around them. Reminders that the Earth still turns even as they find themselves stuck in this perfect moment, feeling like the world was built solely for them to exist in each other's presence.

Then Gale tilts his head thoughtfully, biting at his lower lip. His words come out careful, deliberate, like they’ve been roaming around in his head for a while now. “What are we doing here, John?” 

“We’re at the top of the tour eiffel,” Bucky says matter of factly, punctuated by a kiss below Gale’s ear. He even nearly gets the pronunciation correct.

But Gale shakes his head, letting his hands fall away from Bucky’s where they remain clasped across his middle. “I mean, what are we doing?” He doesn’t know how else to ask without risking driving this conversation down a dangerous road. He’s worried he doesn’t even want to ask. He’s worried everything could fall apart right here and now, a moment of infatuation turning to one of disappointment. But he has to know.

He’s never been one for casual, and he knows that Bucky has never been one for anything but casual. He doesn’t think Bucky knows he knows that. Gale desperately doesn’t want this to be some no-strings summer fling, but he also doesn’t want it to end yet. He hasn’t decided if a couple weeks with John Egan is better than nothing at all.

Bucky is quiet for a long time – too long – and Gale, frowning, starts to squirm out of his hold. Bucky’s heart is hammering in his chest, his brain unable to form a coherent response that conveys what he needs to convey. But when Gale tries to pull away, he feels panic well up like a bubble about to pop, and he knows that whatever happens, he doesn’t want to miss out on possibly the best thing to ever happen to him just because he’s a little scared.

He can’t even pause to realize how much personal growth that thought process represents. 

“Wait,” he sputters out, his hands holding fast to Gale’s hips before he can pull away. “Just hold on okay?”

Gale manages to turn around to look him in the eye, breaking Bucky’s grip. He sighs. “I’m not a one night stand kinda guy,” he confesses. Because he isn’t, even if he wants to be. “I’m not a one week stand kinda guy.”

Bucky nods hurriedly. “I know. I just… I’ve never done anything like this before.” Gale opens his mouth to answer, but Bucky puts a hand on his cheek and shakes his head. “Please.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t really know how it works. I don’t know where we go from here. But I know I really like you. I know I don’t want this to stop.”

God, he feels like an awkward teenager in a high school romance. The words sound so trivial, so ingenuine, but he can’t for the life of him find the right ones. He closes his eyes, letting his hand drop back down, before he looks at Gale again. “I am terrified of losing people, Buck,” he breathes out, all in a rush. And Gale looks surprised for a moment, both at the honesty and also at the reminder that Bucky quite literally gave him his name, linking them together with some invisible thread that, slowly, is becoming visible to the people around them. That has to mean something, right?

Bucky pushes on before either of them can think too much about it. “But I have been happier here with you than I have been in years. So I don’t really know what that means, I’ve never felt that way before, and I don’t know what to do with it. But I don’t want it to go away. So just, please. Don’t leave.”

Bucky half expects Gale to push away from him, to leave him standing here on the top of the Eiffel Tower, unable or unwilling to deal with the chaos of John Egan’s mixed up brain. He can’t think of another time he begged someone for anything, not in any serious way. But Gale smiles softly at him, and he puts his hands on Bucky’s sides, pulling him in close. Bucky wraps his arms around Gale’s back, and Gale tucks his face into the curve of Bucky’s neck, like it belongs there. “It’s okay,” he whispers, because he feels the same. So lost and yet so sure at the same time. “I won’t go anywhere if you won’t.” 

Neither of them fully knows where that leaves them, or what exactly that means for when their time in Paris comes to an end. But standing there, high above the shimmering, bustling city, they hold on tight to each other as they watch the world pass by below. Tomorrow it’ll be back to the Games. Back to the real reason they’re here. For now, though, they’re just two people falling in love like sparks turning to flame, slowly at first, and then all at once. Nothing about it feels like a summer fling, because that’s never what it was meant to be.

[queenbeedarling]

This is going to be a bit of a long one, but I just want to know if anyone else went through a similar experience because I don't see people talk about it.

I've asked my girlfriend (qpr), but she never went through it, so I want to know if I'm the only one. I know it's unlikely, but I would like confirmation because my brain hates me.

(I apologize in advance for all the parenthesis)

Okay, I'm aroace, specifically I'm sexually repulsed (the ace part isn't exactly important, but I figured I'd give extra context) and indifferent to romance. I'm not romance repulsed, but I just don't feel romantic attraction.

However, I've always loved fictional romance (I don't know if it's a sort of Stockholm syndrome love because I grew up in a very romance-heavy society, but i don't wanna have a identity crisis over it so I'm putting that thought on the back burner). I ended up mistaking the love for fictional romance for a desire for real romance while I was in school up until I graduated high school.

This resulted in me not only identifying as bi (I don't feel stronger for one or the other) and lesbian (if I'm going to date someone, I'd rather it be a girl (I've always trusted girls more)) which I know this is talked about.

The part I don't see talked about is actually dating people, which I did. Several times in school.

The thing is, I never felt anything more than how I did with my friends. At the beginning of the relationships, I did get the cliche "heart pounding," but that wore off quick. (I've long since figured out it was because I was just happy something would ever think of me in a romantic sense)

And I've never cared for mouth kisses to the point my first one, not counting the one in first grade, was when I was 15 and it was only a peck. According to my friends at the time, that was late. I also have made out with someone once and I was so very uncomfy, never again.

The only part of a romantic relationship I was interested in was the physical affection like cuddles and holding hands.

But romantic relationships were so... everywhere that I thought those feelings were "normal" or like how everyone felt.

When I learned about the term aromantic in high school, I was so brainwashed it took me three years to realize that I'm aromantic. And one of the reasons was because I thought I couldn't possibly be aromantic if I love fictional romance so much. Even if I never understood the characters feelings when they did their "I'm so in love with you" monologues (I thought the feelings were exaggerated for entertainment purposes).

And then for a little bit I thought I was incapable of emotions or something, but I have low-empathy so I still have those thoughts just not for my aromantism.

That only lasted for a few days before I remembered aromantism and looked it up, so now I'm good.

(Let me tell you, being aroace, agender, and having low empathy can be a mind fuck sometimes)

Sorry this is so long, but I've never let myself go into so much detail about this before.

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

so.. rockstar ex gf reader x 90s! dave at an award show, coincidentally with the same seating arrangement and their bands nominated in the same category, one of them won and took the other to the bathroom to brag abt the award, iykwim. tytyty ilysm hbvsauiowduh🙏

A/n: HELP MY COMPUTER DIED AND I ALMOST LOST THIS I WAS LITERALLY ON THE LAST LINE I WAS GOING TO KILL SOMEONE anyway I hope you enjoy this <3

Warnings: Smut, angst, semipublic sex, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

All around you were people whispering about your current situation. Someone somewhere decided to sit your band next to Megadeth, your ex's band.

You sat across from him, trying to keep things civil with space but Dave kept staring at you, just waiting for something to happen, even going as far as to toss a few peas at you 'accidentally'.

Still, you tried to ignore him. Your bands were nominated for the same award and you were confident that, if you didn't win, you'd surpass Megadeth.

Your relationship had been no secret and your distaste for each other was well known, clearly whoever put you here knew what they were doing. Everyone was talking about it, any time you walked past someone your name was the last thing out of their mouth, their gaze always led to you.

Part of you hated it more than anything, it felt high schoolish, the whole of it. You were an adult, the people around you were supposed to be adults, how did it lead to this?

The reason was people speculating about the end of your relationship. You had been so happy together for almost two years, people were expecting a wedding, but then it was over and a fire reared its head in the wake.

You wish you knew what to tell people other than to respect your privacy.

Really, Dave came home in a better mood than usual, it was strange but welcomed. He got you your favourite flowers, snacks, the works and he was clinging to you, showering you with words of affection up until you were laying in bed.

You were curled up at his side, head on his chest and trying to fall asleep when your world came crumbling around you.

"I don't think I can love you anymore." He said with virtually no emotion, pain, sadness. Nothing.

The night ended with things being thrown, more tears than you thought you had in you and your throat hurt with how much you were screaming. All you wanted was answers but he just wouldn't give you any.

You packed your things the next day while he slept somewhere else, where you didn't know and didn't care. You were gone by the time he got back and neither of you contacted the other afterwards. Dave started his own band to get back at Metallica and you were determined to do the same, to add salt to the wound.

Until now, neither of you had a reason to see each other and you were more than happy with that, he'd given you everything and for what?

You sat back at your table right when they were about to announce who won the award. You leaned your head in your hand, swirling your drink in its glass as you waited for a name to be called.

You didn't even care anymore, you were tired of the gossip, of the rumors that you cheated on him, that this and this happened, that it was all just a publicity stunt because yes, of course, you and your love for a man who couldn't be bothered to do the same was entirely up for debate how could you be so fucking stupid?

"I know we've all been waiting for this one, the once happy couple sure is cheery, huh?" You glanced up to the announcer, the big screens showing your table.

You looked miserable. You felt even worse. Everyone around you did their best to be presentable but you were ready to flip off the camera crew.

You noticed another unhappy face at the table, Dave. He would still glance at you occasionally but he was glaring daggers at your bandmates beside you, wondering how they could be so oblivious to your sunken mood.

"Anyone know what happened?" The announcer asked, a big smile on his face. A few small laughs sounded throughout the place as tears welled in your eyes.

You wanted to run and hide but you knew you couldn't while they called out your award. So you sat there silently, waiting to hear if all your efforts were worthless. "Well, guess it's time to rip the band-aid off and let the wound bleed." How thoughtful, you thought. "And the winner is!" A soundtrack of a drumroll played even though their are more than enough capable drummers here, something you'd always wondered about. "Megadeth!"

Your ears were ringing. All the cheering, the men at your table standing and excitedly reaching for one another at the award. It felt as though you were being stabbed by everyone's eyes.

You felt a hand on your back. "Are you okay?" Your bandmates voice was muffled like it was behind a wall of foam. You nodded and excused yourself, keeping your head held high as more tears formed in your eyes, just trying to make it to the bathroom.

There was no one else there and you just stared at yourself in the mirror taking deep breaths until you calmed down but the tears just rolled down your cheeks.

The door opened, you expected to look over and see your bandmate but it was Dave. He had a concerned look on his face, those stupid glasses you wanted to rip off of his stupid face and crush them. He'd just go buy another pair but you wanted to.

"Are you okay?" He asked. You carefully wiped your eyes, trying not to ruin your makeup and further.

"Why do you care?" You muttered, keeping your voice low, not trusting it to stay stable.

"Because I care about you." You scoffed at that.

"Oh, yeah, sure you do, you cared so much about me yet you couldn't even be bothered to love me." He stared at you a moment before taking a step closer to you.

"I never said I didn't love you." You opened your mouth to protest but his arms were around you and he spoke up again before you could get anything out. "I said I didn't think I could love you anymore."

You rolled your eyes at him before wiping them again. "What a fucking difference that made." He sighed and leaned down, resting his chin on your shoulder just as he used to, the sight tugging at your heart.

"I love you. I loved you then, I love you now, I never stopped loving you and I never will." More tears came to your eyes and you couldn't blink them away.

"Shut up." You said through gritted teeth.

"I didn't want to, alright?" His voice was deep and soft in your ear, honey dipped silk wrapping around your mind. "My manager made me, said it would be good to get the band out there."

"You chose to break up with me... for fame?" You mustered, not wanting it to be true.

"If I didn't they would have dropped us from the label."

"So you didn't choose me?"

"You're not getting it-"

"I get it perfectly!" You yelled, spinning around and pushing him off of you. "You were already a big band, it would've been stupid to drop you and even if they did someone would've been dying to pick you up." He stared at you, taking in your words knowing you were right. "You didn't love me."

"You can't say that." He said, gaze falling to the ground.

"You treated me like Metallica!" Tears dripped from your jaw to the tiled floor as you glared at him. His eyes shot open. "You were done and you dropped me for what? Publicity?" He didn't say anything.

A long moment passed, neither of you saying anything.

Dave took a step closer to you, then another until he was inches from you. He wrapped his arms around you and closed the gap, his lips crashing against yours.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. You'd missed him for so long, so many sleepless nights with your hand between your thighs, a random man you'd close your eyes and pretend was Dave but it was never the same.

He pushed you back until you hit the counter. He lifted you onto it and stood between your legs, quickly undoing his pants and letting his half hard cock hit your already wet panties. You let out a slight gasp into the kiss and Dave groaned as he stroked himself.

He didn't bother taking them off of you and just pushed them aside as he pushed into you. He pulled away from the kiss, letting your see just how his eyes closed, how his mouth opened and soft breaths left him.

"Fuck, I missed this." He groaned. His eyes opened and he brought his focus back to you, your eyes as they swirled with lust and hatred, both directed at him. "You are so beautiful, you know that?" You bit your lip, looking down his clothed body until you landed on where the both of you connected.

He took your chin in his fingers and tilted your head up to look at him. "Do you know that?" You nodded. "Tell me."

"I know." You muttered.

"You know what?"

You inhaled deeply. "I know I'm beautiful." He gave a nod of approval.

"And this award means nothing, you know that too, don't you?"

"Yes, I know." He gave another nod.

"You know I love you, right?" You paused. He stared at you expectantly, eyes flickering all over your face, admiring your features. "You'll know when we're done." He kissed your forehead and pulled his hips back before snapping them into yours.

Your eyes shut tight and your lips parted in a moan, you'd waited far too long to feel him like this again, how he stretched you out and dragged against your gummy walls. More moans ripped from you as he set a fast pace, Dave's hands roaming your body and lips kissing up and down your neck, leaving small marks.

His hand came down and he rubbed your clit with his thumb, giving it some well needed attention after months of only you noticing it. Fuck, you loved the way he made you feel, all light headed and your body hot with desire.

A familiar knot formed in your gut, burning a passionate fire that resonated throughout your body. Your voice echoed off the walls while Dave's grunts and groans were save specially for your ears. You weren't concerned with someone walking in on you, let them see, let them hear how good he made you feel and see the love in his eyes as he stared at you in awe.

"Hah- Fuck, Dave, m'close." You mumbled, leaning back on your hands and letting him do the work, it's the least he could do and he was more than happy to do it.

He didn't say anything and kept his pace, his thumb still pleasuring you perfectly. Your chest was rising and falling, breathing laboured and your head rolling back as you felt the strings slipping and finally snapping, loud moans leaving you of cursing and repeated 'Dave' over and over.

He let you ride out your high on him but pulled out and got himself situated again. "Why-why'd you stop..?" You asked, breathing heavy and your eyes lidded.

"Well, I figured if I was gonna show you I love you I didn't need to worry about myself, right?" He said simply as he helped you dust yourself off, so to speak, and off the counter. "I can worry about that later, can't I?" He asked, wrapping his arms around you once more.

You thought about it for a moment as you made your way to the door, Dave still clinging to you. He held you tighter, not letting you leave. "You know I love you, don't you?"

You bit your lip, remembering everything that happened before the breakup. "I know you love me." You said, thinking about how abruptly it all ended.

"And?" He asked.

You looked back at him over your shoulder. "And?"

"Verdicts still out?" You crossed your arms over your chest.

"It'll take more than a fuck in some bathroom for me to consider that." You mumbled and left the bathroom, Dave still following close behind.

[kicktwine]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[mel-loly]

-“Oh, school has to be something serious, especially this year/something like that!”

The things I did when I was at school (especially in computer class):

TW: cigarette

I have a lot of memories, and this is certainly one of the most important/best/funniest in my life. I'm really going to miss everything... and I'm already crying lol..

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[eff-plays]

I love hearing your takes on Astarion and the Tav's who are romancing him, it makes me feel less like a jerk for being annoyed by all the same things.

Glad to hear it!! I do sometimes feel like a jerk when I make those posts because at the end of the day, people who write bland OOC fanfic aren't hurting anyone.

But I also think that I'm not really hurting anyone by talking about the stuff I dislike, either. If someone is hurt by me dunking on a trope they like/have written, that's not my problem lol. Like I'm not talking directly to them or saying they can't write or enjoy it, I'm just expressing my own opinion on a general trend.

I just can't comprehend how my enjoyment of creating something would be hurt by some anonymous rando saying they don't like similar aspects of it, so whenever people do get upset it's like ... Okay? Did you need my permission to create? Do you need to believe everything you make will be for everyone forever? To me it's like ... keep scrolling, ya know? Block me if you want, it's whatevs.

It's fine to have opinions and dislike things. As long as you're not a dick directly to the people who make the things you dislike and write them hatemail or mean comments/reblogs, who give a shit, ya know?

So like ... I think even if we are jerks, it's like ... fine? It's fine to dislike things and to express your dislike of those things. Especially when it comes to general popular trends in fandom and media. Especially on your own blog and when it's not directly aimed at any particular person.

[your-local-granny]

Being critical of art is all fun and games until you are the art that is being critiqued :(

[chaosinstigator]

I am (was?) a pretty big Danny Ric fan but seeing this

https://www.tumblr.com/blorbocedes/732109825697316865/look-at-his-gleeful-fucking-laughter-at-the?source=share&ref=_tumblr

Is making me question things, I wanted to get your opinion on it :(

I never expected to get asked about anything(!) Daniel related but uhm okay I’ll do my best to word my thoughts on it since you asked:)

Firstly I have to admit to two things, I am like Daniel very un-confrontational by nature (im working on it) so I do have a bias when it comes to just laughing off uncomfortable situations instead of dealing with it like one arguably should and two, I watched the full like interview bit twice and literally didn’t catch the dumb joke until someone blew it up over here which imo like it’s a poor joke but also it’s idk not that deep to me given everything going on in the world I guess, I have a different look on it. Now that’s not to say you’re not allowed to be hurt at all here this is just for me personally I just took it as an idiot moment and hopes someone let him know after that that ain’t it.

Now again I’m not saying I excuse it at all don’t get me wrong and I do think attention should be brought to it so he can learn from it and change his behavior accordingly but I don’t believe publicly crucifying or “cancelling” him (or anyone really) will do that, it usually tends to isolate the person in question (this case Daniel) from the online fans instead bc they’ll get told by their pr-team to go off social media or limit comments or something for the sake of the ‘brand’.

Overall I just have this one thing to say that took me years to learn myself but here goes; if you put anyone on a pedestal you’re only hurting yourself. At the end of the day we’re all dumb little humans with dumb flaws who make mistakes and say stupid shit, that’s just what life is.

I’m not gonna stop being a fan bc Daniel genuinely brings me joy when I need it and that’s enough for me, also context here matters like I’ve seen some people act like he murdered their mother over this so like let’s take a breath no?

Anyways this is far more than you asked for but it’s as coherent as I’m able to be rn sorry

[bylertruther]

yes i'm rereading one of the best will-centric fics of all time aka i didn't know there were wizards in california for the fiftieth time and crying like a baby at this part no i am not capable of being normal about it thank u !!!!!!!

[wavebiders]

Before this episode starts and all shit hits the fan one way or another let me just say that it is absolutely ok to be upset about how things play out!

This fandom is generally a very postive very happy space and that's great! Unfortunately, a lot of that comes from this parasocial bond a good chunk of us have with the cast where we feel we have to love and support everything they do, and that's no more of a healthy attitude than this fan vs. Creator mindset that's so present in most fandoms

We owe them basic human respect and kindness. We can't make demands of them to play their game a certain way. They are under no obligation to make their story fit what fans want from it

(All of this holds true for any kind of creator for the record)

But on the flipside we don't have to be happy about every choice tbey make either! What we don't owe them is our eternal loyalty and constant praise. If where the story goes doesn't spark joy for you you can walk away! Temporarily, for the rest of the campaign, or for good, and it is not a betrayal nor a moral failing to do so

No, not even if there's a precedent for it. Yes, we all know characters can die in dnd but if Laudna being permadead is a dealbreaker for you than that's ok. You're not wrong for being upset and you weren't wrong for watching the show despite that risk. Same goes for if her being ressurected ruins the emotional impact or the stakes for you. This too is part of dnd and of cr, you're still allowed not to like it and decide not to follow the story any further

As special as CR is to so many of us, it is at the end of the day just a show, and you're allowed to have whatever feelings you have about it, regardless if they align with those the cast or other fans