#at least with that twitter failure their marriage on Earth is more canon

[mattzerella-sticks]

Y'know, Samantha and Chad just had to stay quiet like c'mon... read the room... y'all saw what we were getting excited about lol

[the-mjolnir-owner]

Here comes the post™ about the movie™ no one asked for

I’ve been postponing this due to spoilers, but I think it’s time now.

Those of you who already know me and who I speak to daily already know my opinion about EG and maybe I was expecting it to to change in some weeks, but it didn’t.

It’s not a surprise to anyone that Thor’s my favorite character who I’ve been playing for at least seven years. He brought me joy, helped me to find friends for life and gave me strength when I was down.

It’s not a surprise that I feel betrayed and disappointed by how his story was dealt in this last movie and I’m willing to ignore parts of it and replace it with my own canon. It’s not that I had faith in the production to begin with, but still I was let down with all of this disrespect.

Don’t read it if you haven’t watched the movie, heavy spoilers ahead.

My thoughts:

-          Thor didn’t get anyone back. I wasn’t expecting those who were killed to return, but maybe those who got dusted could include Sif at least, but they’re not known to respect women at all. He fought for everyone’s else happy ending but his, and although this is in character, it’s still sad

-          There was no satisfactory ending to Thor/Loki relationship. Everyone who bothered to watch Thor’s movies know that Thor and Loki share a deep, complicated bond. It’s a love/hate relationship and they were working to mend it when Loki had one of the most gruesome, unnecessary deaths I’ve ever seen on screen. They never shared a hug on screen and they didn’t use Tom/Loki’s popularity for anything. The death of a character who struggled their whole life by the hands of their abuser? No thank you, you can keep it

-          Thor went back to Asgard and didn’t even visit Loki. I didn’t understand their time travel rules but I know they were confusing. Thor normally doesn’t play by human’s laws and I wished his approach to Loki was different. That was the last time he was seeing his brother and I understand him losing it when he meets Frigga, maybe one of the best scenes he has in the entire shitshow

-          Thor’s love life sucks. Everybody had their happy dance, their happy marriage with kids, but Thor, who was left with no family at all. I don’t ship Thor/Jane but it’s clear he loves her deeply, she was an important person in his life who opened his eyes and taught him to be less arrogant, selfish and more human. I don’t want them to be a couple anymore, but they could at least respect this relationship. They did them dirty since TDW but that’s another subject. I don’t want Thor/Jane anymore when we have a whole Thorkyrie meal waiting to happen, but they could at least address this subject and show that Thor/Jane can still be friends

-          They really said fuck asgardian lives.  I wasn’t expecting anyone to return, but have Steve going back in time to have his happy ending was a bit selfish imo, considering Thor was left to live his own reality where everybody is dead but him. They didn’t have to save Asgard or prevent the elves from attacking, but they could have changed Thanos’ attack to their deteriorated ship and the massacre that followed. I thought Thor could meet his sister somehow and bring back the fallen asgardians. That would be better. He could have used the gauntlet himself to fix this shit, but Thor was a second rate character in EG

-          I was told there was a Thorkyrie kiss scene in Ragnarok and now I understand why it was cut. Valkyrie could have a pivotal role in not allowing Thor to succumb in a spiral of self hatred and lethargy, sharing the burden of leading a collapsed civilization and helping Thor out of his drunk state, in the same way he helped her, brought her home and gave her life a new purpose. It was a conscious decision to take everything from Thor, especially his development. 

If I was mad they let Valkyrie be King instead of Thor, who was grown to rule? Not at all. He wouldn’t be able to do anything considering his mental state, trauma and self image, he needs to recover and heal and it takes time. 

He was king for about 8 hours and he had to witness his family, his friends and his people being slaughtered in front of him and we know he carries this blame like an anchor. Valkyrie at least managed to lead the escape pods to Earth and probably lead them while Thor was fighting in IW. She’s the only one left he can count on, and their scenes together were disappointing

-          Talking about trauma.  I knew he wouldn’t be ok considering what happened to him in the recent movies. He lost his mom, his brother, his lover, his father, all of his friends, his eye, his hammer, his hair, his sister, his planet, his army, his people, his battle. We know since AoU that his worst fear was losing them all and he had to witness all of this foreshowed carnificina (remember they weren’t snapped, a quick and painless death, no, they were all butchered one by one in front of Thor) without getting a break or some time to react or grieve or anything in response to it. 

I’ve read before he’s a safe choice when it comes to trauma, nothing should affect him because he’s a god. But it does, he may be a god but he’s still made of flesh and bones and a beating heart that is way too big and too soft. 

We watched his desperate attempts to make things right in IW, his desperate attempts to end his own life. We watched him ready to die by Loki’s side when the ship was about to explode. We watched him taking the full blast of a star, forging an ax by the cost of his own life. Bless Hemsworth for all of Thor’s emotional scenes, every time he cried I cried as well because I could understand and relate to his struggle of trying to remain fine for his friends’ sake while his heart was shattered

-          That trauma reflected on his self image. He couldn’t go through all of this unscatched, and it’s ok. I understand his recluse, his effort to shut down the world outside and deal with things by the only way he knows how to deal with any inner turmoil: drowning his sorrow in alcohol. He’s always been a heavy drinker and it’s a normal, accepted asgardian behavior to drink entire casks of ale (see Valkyrie). You know what’s not ok? Using his problems as a fucking three hours joke.

-          He’s the only character whose pain isn’t treated like a real problem. As if he’s being dramatic when he can’t say a name or tell a story without losing it or going through a panic attack. Skinny characters are worthy compassion, thicc characters aren’t and I see your fatphobia, @marvel

-         Fucking three hour joke. I’ve seen someone point on twitter that there are two stances to weight in EG: Tiny gets stranded in space for weeks, when he returns to earth he’s malnourished, thin, sick. People immediately tend to him, he’s hospitalized, it’s heartbreaking to see him like this and it’s obvious he has been through too much. All the characters involved react to him with sympathy. The same can’t be told about Thor. He has a weight problem too, he’s dissociating and he doesn’t care what he looks like anymore. I know people who went through the same ordeal. 

Thor’s punishing himself for feeling like a failure and it reflects on his body. Yet, we are lead to feel sorry for one of them (Tiny) and laugh at the other (Thor). The audience is lead to have compassion by one character going through a difficult phase and being grossed out/amused by another character who is going through the same thing, if not worse.

-          It’s not woke nor progressive to have a fit man wearing a badly made fat suit to badly portray a fat person.  It was literally made to entertain, to be a comic relief, not to raise awareness of how mental health problems can cause physical problems as well and it’s a missed opportunity to have an approach to it, on how men are supposed to be fit all the time, on how superhero bodies can be in all shapes and sizes. It’s all about fat-shaming and fatphobia. 

I love and appreciate Thor in all shapes and forms, but what they did to him wasn’t a body positive view and if they mean to keep fat Thor in their next projects, they better hire an actual plus size actor. The sole purpose of chubby Thor was to degrade the character and strip him of sympathy because he “did that to himself”

-          This mockery comes from other superheroes.  What are we teaching young audiences when they watch the Avengers making fun of a debilitated person? That it’s ok to laugh at a fat, depressed person who has panic attacks? Thor gets mocked, teased and fat shamed by people who are dear to him, by the only “friends” he has left - friends whom he knows for at least 6+ years - friends he defended and saved countless times before. By his own mother to some degree. 

They don’t show him the same sympathy and just like Odin, Thor’s only seen worthy by how hard he can strike, by how powerful he can be. A weapon, not a person, and when said weapon loses its sharpness, it’s not worthy fixing anymore. Thor’s a war hound and that’s the only aspect the Avengers value in him. 

It’s important to remember Thor treated the Hulk differently, like a person, and supported Bruce when he didn’t want to turn into the Hulk. He treated Valkyrie differently, too, when he realized she had alcohol problems and carried an immense grief. Thor’s often betrayed by people whom he loves and trusts, but this is too much of an insult to people going through the same problems in the audience. It’s sad to see all the other characters (except Bruce/Hulk) denying emphathy and compassion to Thor, knowing Thor would never deny emphathy and compassion to anyone else

-          Thor isn’t lazily eating/drinking after a broke up, no. He was traumatized from seeing everyone he had ever loved die in front of him then being blamed for not stopping Thanos, or going to the head. He hopes that by chopping Thanos’ head off he’d feel better, but he doesn’t. Thor lost more people than any of the others and Cap goes to group theraphy sessions (never bothers to invite Thor), Tiny gets hospitalized but Thor doesn’t have a fit boy anymore, he doesn’t deserve simpathy, he’s lazy for letting it happen to him and that’s how they want us to feel. Amused by Thor’s pain that’s less important now because he lost his 8 pack

-          He died to forge a weapon and it wasn’t enough. He did an herculean job to make a weapon strong enough to kill Thanos, not only did he fail but he also survived to tell. If he had died trying, then his ticket to Valhalla would be granted, but he lost it as well. 

Not only he carries a huge survivor guilt, but the certainty he isn’t worthy anything anymore, not even the golden halls of Valhalla wait for him. And he tries time and time again to live a glorious death that doesn’t come

-          His drunkenness is ooc. They contradicted their own canon by claiming that Thor can get drunk on weak midgardian ale. He can’t. He could really drink that amount of beer, but it wouldn’t affect him. Not even physically. Thor has a fast metabolism and it would take him some hundred years to become that chubby on weak beer or other beverages. They ignored their own canon to insist in this joke, that had greenlight from everybody involved

-          Marvel’s efforts to hide chubby Thor. In the trailers, in the posters, in the action figures and promotional images, we see the usual Thor, fit. It’s supposed to be a big surprise to see Thor like this, people told me. I think it’s all about sending a message that chubby heroes don’t sell and they hid this information purposely. There’s no action figures of fat Thor. He isn’t made to promote the movie, awareness or sell anything. Because a fat person serves only for fun, they think, not to sell, his role in this movie is to be mocked. But it’s on them, because in this house we love and respect chubby Thor and I can’t wait to buy his fluffly plush doll

-          Thor’s weakened. Stormbreaker is used as a bottle opener and they seem to forget how powerful it was. Everything that Taika did, the Russos undid. The whole point of Ragnarok (the best Thor movie imo) was showing Thor and the audience he doesn’t need a weapon to be powerful. In IW he gets his eye back and makes an ax, forgetting all of this, and in EG he has his hammer back. Not only one, but he’s wielding two magical weapons and is still beaten? No way. I can’t believe I paid actual money to watch it. Thor could have used the gauntlet and he’d still be fine and alive, it would be so much better imo

-          He is back to using a weapon to tell him he has value. He was over mjolnir’s standards on what’s worthy anymore and he’s finally free of its magical whims. Now he trusts in the hammer judgment of him again because what else does he have? Who else does he have?

-          They never wanted us to feel bad about Thor. They mixed Thor’s sadness with shots of his body to entertain from the fact that he’s dead inside. His arc is made for laughs. We’re lead to think it’s funny. If they wanted us to feel bad about fat Thor, they would make him thin like Tiny who got all the sympathy he deserved. Bless Chris for the emotion he conveyed though

-          Thor leaving with the Guardians was a conflicting point. I’d love to see Thor with the GoTG and I love the previous GoTG movies. But it won’t solve his problems. I wanted him to heal, and if the Guardians will help him with it, instead of the Avengers, then it’s ok. He should accept there are things he can’t change and it’s not his fault, he should try and change the things he can and look forward to something, anything, that would give him hope again

-          In the end, at least, everybody was rooting for him to recover and it was good. He wasn’t magically made thin again and all the time I was waiting for a Rocky Balboa sequence with Thor lifting weight or jogging, but it didn’t happen, and at least it served to show us that he’s still worthy, a hero and himself in spite of how he looks or how much he weighs

-          It hurts to see an optimistic, caring character losing it.  I know he wouldn’t leave unscatched, but it’s sad to lose my ray of sunshine Thor, who always had hope and fought for what was right. Seeing my favorite character lethargic, apathetic and not being the protagonist of his own life is very hard. Thor always brought me inspiration and he instills the best in people: he supports Sif when she wants to be a warrior, he shows Jane she’s right in her researches, shows Valkyrie she’s not her failure, helps Bruce out of panic attacks in an alien planet, tries to reach for Loki time and time again, he trusts the Avengers and works with them in order to save a world that isn’t even his. He saved the world at least four times. 

And they all let him down. It’s not a satisfactory conclusion, but I didn’t hope they’d make it differently. I still hope I’ll see my Thor again and even if I don’t, I’ll write him with faithful friends I met along the way. He deserves it and I won’t let him down

Any positive points after miles of salt?

Thor chopping off Thanos’ head and probably using it as a mug was nice.

I liked his Viking looks with braids in his hair and beard and how he weilded two magical weapons.

Sharing them with Cap, who is one of his best friends, is great too.

Having Thor leaving with the Guardians was a nice choice because I like the Guardians and I know Thor will return better after this vacation to assume his throne.

 Leaving the throne for Valkyrie means she’s his Queen in his eyes and you’ll have to pry Thorkyrie from my cold, dead hands. 

There’s a bitter taste, yeah, but things can be better in the future when the sun will shine on us again.