#at least theyre graduating in a year :)
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i cant do this today
#back to back sp*derverse posts saying like#“WHERREE DID GWEN GET TEAL POINTE SHOES!! SHES REBELLING AGAINST BALLET WOW!!!”#first of all theyre demi pointe real pointe shoes would tear her achilles tendons in half#there are specific colors. of shoes. for different ballets. they arent hard to find#yes typically tights and shoes are meant to match the wearers skin tone#you can paint. pointe shoes. people do this so often#is google hard#is it difficult#followed by a “WHAT YEAR IS IT.. THERES SOCIAL MEDIA .. BUT SHE USES CDS ??!” its 2014 man#its 2014. gwen canonically uses old shit its 2014#<- at least it is in the comics. i dont know about the movies but id assume that stays true#skyler posting#i need to start blocking these tags#the “gwen is rebelling against the harmful institution that is ballet” shit genuinnnennellyy pisses me off#do you know how many years worth of training and dedication and actual blood and sweat and tears that go into ballet#let alone graduating to going en pointe like she is#it is so obviously something shes passionate about if she was willing to put that level of work into training her body to handle being en po#inte#im gonna eat glass im serious
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yesterday a couple of the teens at work mentioned that they assumed I was like 18-20 years old and did not want to believe that I was older than the other staff member so I showed them my ID and said "see, 1999" and one of them yelled "IT HAS A 19 IN IT???"
then not 2 hours later a child I do not know asked if I was "a teen or a staff" and when I said staff he said "well you look like a teen"
#then i had to get on to him for making fun of someone for being fat 🙄#one of the teens said she thought i was like 30 lmaooo#i said ur my favorite#i truly dont get it because i think i look my age but people said i looked 12 until i was 18 so i guess im just glad i at least look 17 now#funniest part of this is that i literally just had this conversation with them on friday#because i said i graduated high school in 2016 in response to a kid asking if i knew her brother who went to my hs.... 4 yrs after me.....#and the one who was shocked that my birth year had a 19 in it literally yelled from across the room 'YOU GRADUATED IN 2016??'#theyre constantly amazed by my age
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"you cant run away from uncomfortable situations. you need to be strong and face them head on" oh hell no. im running. im dashing out the door. if the door is locked im using my weak noodle arms and pure adrenaline to rip off the lock. and proceed running away until the uncomfortable situation doesnt exist anymore
#see i really dont want to go to band camp because some bastards in there spread rumors about me freshman year#and now everytime i see them my psyche absolutely crashes and i either get so anxious i cant function or just very very depressed#i dontthink its a trauma reaction but it sure is a reaction#also i cant control it it kinda just happens i wish i could stop it by thinking positively and having a better mindset but ohwell#at least theyre graduating in a year :)
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leona needs to go therapy actually
#or at least see a psychiatrist#ik the game doesnt say it#but he just gives off depression to me#ik his character development is kinda mid compared to the other characters#but idk how to improve it without mentioning mental health#i want him to grow!#ik him being based on scar affects the possibility of change too#but u know#let me hope#i like his character o(--(#i want him to be happy!#and to graduate#like get the hell outta here my guy lol#i do wonder if theyre gonna let the older students graduate and move on#letting fan faves “go” seems like a scary thing to do from a companys pov#but i love the idea as a person who just likes a good story lol#like move and make room for the younger cast and new characters#twisted wonderland#they can still come back obviously but they should not be on campus by next year#like theyre supposed to be interning or some shit#leona kingscholar
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guys tomorrow is my last day of my first year of 3d animation . im sooooo tired but really excited and nervous
#wind howls#i hope i did well in all my final projects....#tomorrow i finish my animation final#and then my 2d-3d final (sculpture final) and then im FREE#well more or less. i have a blood draw appointment at nearly 9 am the next day but i was able to book it real nearby so its all good !#and on fridays i am going to cook a meal i like even if it kills me. mark my fucking words.#and next week is the graduation night for the 3rd years and my friends and i are volunteers so we get to hang out at a cool event#and start networking... even if slightly. i will be serving drinks mostly :)#im actually excited for that ! and hanging out with my school friends. im real sad that some of them wont return next year#but im also real happy for them bc theyve found other programs that do make them happy#so even if theyre not here i will be happy for them. and we have a discord server so im always nearby at least !#excited and nervous... but above all.#above it all. i am so fucking sleepy
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about to trauma dump to the ac*u and hope i get the job wish me luck
#theyre so funny for this question like what did they expect the response to be LOLLL#i know they had to change things to not get sued but like damn yall know this is just an excuse for me to trauma dump now#like lmfaaaaoooooo#anyways if i get this done in the next hour it will literally be the [TRAGIC-task youve put off for 2 months only took 15 minutes!]#meme all over again and that will just kill me bc i did put it off for an extra 10 hours today again#anyways i would like to be paid 30 bucks an hour so pleaseeeeeeeeeee hire me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#if not this its back to the motherland boys so get ready for a 3 hour time difference IM GONE FOREVER SOON#v.txt#literally so excited to graduate and leave for at minimum a year and be literally anywhere but here college is a lie friends#and dont do it unless you are 5345245u34% sure you want to bc i do feel like i have been scammed#I SHOULDVE DONE A TRADE!!!!!!#anyways hears hoping i get this job and find a different way to spend time in peru bc regardless i do miss it there#none of u understand the intricacies of being able to get pollo la brasa or ceviche whenever i want..... without my mom having to make it#none of u understand the intracacies of coming back from the MOTHER-motherland and having the capital police stop ur bus#anyways as per usual if your motherland isnt at least a level 4 DNT for us citizens dont even bother talking to me about it#HAVING YOUR DNI IN YOUR BACK POCKET AT ALL TIME-RS MAKE SOME NOISEEEEEEEE#realiziing i spent here's wrong earlier and i hope you know it haunts me but i wont change it so we'll all have to deal
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Nct dream new album concept is british school boy cardigan core meets american high school football core lmaooooo theyve really gone above and beyond this time this is not only another high school concept as I predicted but a high school^2 concept for extra high school per square inch
#really outdone yourselves this time. can u guys graduate after this tho.#can we get mark is at an age where he wouldve been working for two years already after a 4yr undegrad program core#wayv might be in an empty parking lot or an airplane hanger but at least theyre not in high school every cb#nct#sidney talks shit
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my graduation is supposed to be in august + im requesting to graduate in absentia but i feel terrible abt it bc im not telling my parents 😑
#just bc if i do tell them they'll probably pressure me into going. and i dont fucking want to its my degree i can celebrate how i like#i wont even be living here in august!! and its a wednesday which is super awkward + im only allowed 2 guests but i have 4 parents lmao#which means i have to choose between my mum and dad. which will end up in hurt feelings either way#and theyre making us pay for our own robes which is stupid bc they literally have like 40k from me already#i cant sit in a stuffy hall through a two hour long ceremony that i wont even be able to hear with no one i know ill commit homicide#no point in doing drinks aftwr bc none of my friends have the same graduation date and i dont drink#like theres not a single reason why i would want to go. so im not going to#but i can already feel how disappointed theyll be.... and theyll be more mad if i dont tell them beforehand but i dont want to debate it!!#ik this is such a stupid thing but its making me stress like hell#ugh#my current plan of attack is not to tell them until they ask abt it and then the decision will be made so they cant do anything abt it#even if theyre upset abt it. but i HATE lying even by omission im the least dishonest person ever this is making me feel sick#and i have to tell them eventually bc ill need to get my diploma delivered to them so arghhhhhh#i technically got my degree over a year ago anyway bc i dropped out this is so dumb#they shouldve just been like sorry no ceremony for dropouts!! and then it wouldnt be my problem#whatever. deadline for registering is at 5 so itll be out of my hands once that passes thank fuck#.diaries#i think im getting unnecessarily worked up abt it bc im just generally in a shitty mood tbh#gonna go for a walk and find somewhere to sit and read outside until i feel more sane i think
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bro don't you hate it when you're reading a perfectly normal fic or drabble or whatnot and then it hits you in the most mundanely earth shattering way. i was reading a fic where steve doesn't know what hes doing with his life and his friends are leaving for college and it sent me on an hour long depressive spiral like what the hell man i was having a good day until now
#cursed with the 18 year old knowledge that all my friends have at least a vague plan or ambition theyre gonna try pursuing#and im going to be left behind because I've been graduated and haven't even bought a car#while i have friends who still have half their senior year left who already got accepted into an out of state college#pov i kin steve harrington but thats a red flag#a diagnosis even#no discoverable tags because im sending this into the void with no intention of being perceived#untagged tumblr is my little diary i keep poorly hidden under my bed#im sorry if you read this#devon thinks sometimes
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I'll kms if we move actually.
#i hate change and we havent even been in this house for a year. that will be our 13th house#i cant be that far from my mom theyre tlaking about states away and month and month you just got week and week we just moved into this house#ill lose my fucking mind if one mlre thing changes. the schedule is already always off and closer to week and a half to half because my dad#gets us extra and it makes me think my mom doesnt want us but i know she does but still. ill die.#i will actually not survive that big of a change i dont care. i know he means well and its to leave something when they die but#there wont be anything to leave if the stress kills me first.#and for all the oreaching about living life instead of stressing out for 70 years this is only gonna make stress that isnt there#or is at least weaker right now#and theyre talking about living in a national forest and running a campsite and trail hike and all this and that but#were fine right now! its stressful yeah but were alive and not super stressed and thsres no anxiety and can er stay in one house for longer#thab a fucking year! this is alreayd house 14 or 9/10 if we only count my dads houses! ill die! stop! settle down for once!!#and they dont even ask if its okay with everyone! and when they do they frame it as if theyre assholes if we say we dont want to move!#but i dont want to move! i may not have any friends#but my whole life is here! i want to graduate from my highschool and live close to both my parents without them being across the country!#stop!!!#anyways#im so sorry i just#i cant?
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I wish that I was more
#sad hours at the huskin bee#personal#graduating soon and the animation department is collecting photos of everyone in the drive#and seeing all these group photos of everyone in the program makes me realize how distant i am from them#and how close knit everyone else has become...#ive never been good at making friends and within like the first few weeks of school it was like everyone got to know each other#and the few friends i made in the program left after the first year#i wish my social anxiety wasnt so bad i tried harder to make friends in college#also i have an essay due on monday and i might just not do it#or itll be really half assed#ive been doing well so far in that class so if i dont do it i think the least id get is a C#idk maybe i can still make friends w these ppl after college somehow but itd still feel weird bc i had a completely different shm experience#than they had#ahhhh#i can imagine a future reunion where ppl will talk to be about old drama that was big among this giant friend group#that consists of most people in my year that ill have no idea what theyre talking abt#bc im never in the loop abt anything ever lol#this actually happened at my hs animation reunion except i actually knew and talked to most ppl in that class#i wasnt like super close to most of them but i had a few closeish friends#and i know one of those friends probably werent/arent in the know#also like i did hear abt relationship drama back in the day bc gossip spread p easily#anyways i was told completely new information abt someone getting stalked back then so thats wild#and apparently there was a super handsome guy in our class that i for some reason have zero recollection of#point is i be the last person to know something and if i know smth then everyone probably already knew#which is annoying. i wanna hear gossip too. even in my own family my sisters will tell each other and our mom about shit that went down w#their friends or our cousins and i only hear abt it when im in the room#so i end up hearing a lot but never directly and sometimes not in full#man i shouldve gone on more college field trips#shouldve done a lot more in life that my insecurities get the way of#tbh i genuinely think i might have a form of undiagnosed anxiety; tism; or some other mental disorder
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having very mixed feelings abt the fact that im turning 28 this year but customers at work keep asking me what highschool i go to
#talkin#and when i say mixed feeling i mean i hate it#bc when i tell ppl im gonna be 30 in a few years they always ask what my secret is#like idk i was super into opiates and a daily drinker for a good few years so maybe try that#i also smoke at least a half pack a day.. its just genetics and the classic transmasc babyface#but you cant tell people to get addicted to drugs and transition as a trick to looking young so whatever ig#to be fair tho i also always forget how old i actually am#at least until i talk to teenagers and realize i have no fucking idea what theyre saying#i usually have to google current slang and i Do Not Like That#a while ago i helped a couple of girls at work who were talking abt how popular the song playing on the radio was#when they were in elementary school like i could relate to that.. but the song came out after inhad graduated highschool
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the feeling of my dogs fur and their warmth was just so specific i can reimagine it so vividly its like im so close to actually feeling it again. im scared that one day i'll forget it
#i can almost feel keenys dinky little head under my hand and how fine and straight his hair was compared to sophies fur#that was literally like a sheeps but she was sooo so warm#i miss them#its been 1-2 years but i still want to look past our front gates to see if theyre there.#waiting to see me outside so keeny can start crying out of excitement#i still expect to see them looking up at me from out of their sleep when i go into the laundry room at night#animal death#implied at least#goddd i miss them. i used to always think they'd outlive me. im happy they saw me grow up all the way. im happy i lived for them#im happy sophie lived to see me graduate. shes a dog ik its not like she cares about that but they were with me since i started elementary
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getting held back sounds like it sucks for multiple reasons but in my district youre allowed to fail every single grade all the way up until high school and you keep moving on and then in high school if you fail too many times you just get put on a "will never graduate" list and get fucked ig which sounds kinda worse
#cus at least with getting held back youre revisiting what you struggled with and hopefully being able to move on after a year#but like most of the time here a lot of the people who struggle just never get help cus theyre like#'why should i stay back if im allowed to move up a grade'#and then once youre in high school its pretty late to try and fix the mindset of not getting help cus everything will be fine anyways#and you just get fucked over and put on a list of people who will never graduate#theres like an alternate school but they also have a limit on how many classes you can make up there#school
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I'll take things that would make younger me happy for eleven Alex
#not even younger me#finding out that in the future mlp that discord and fluttershy eventually get married is making me kick my feet#i LOVE that#also. i have noticed that a lot of people are confused about the ages and its kind of funny#someone said they were in ms at the beginning which. no...#going by their thoughts they would be at least hs graduates#bc they Have schools#also i think that while discord is older than celestia and luna hes still not. That old#bc while immortal he was still stuck in stone for a thousand years#why am i going on about mlp#< rhetorical. i know why#also im just saying ik theyre technically just hinted at but still. they love each other no matter what#also WHY DO THEY DRAW HIM LIKE A WHITE TWINK WITH PERFECT TEETH
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okay hear me out. what do our beloved pro players go on to do after retirement? Specifically Neil and Kevin, because I don't think these to could or want to do something that is entirely removed from exy. Sure Kevin has history but I really don't see this man ever making it his job.
So Kevin and Neil have a habit of watching exy games together and I like to think they still do it after graduation whenever they can. It's just their idea of hanging out. Over the years they start commenting on the game more and more and have silly little arguments and debates that get way too heated because it's them. Kevin needs to be right and Neil likes to start shit now and then. As a treat.
One day, at a meeting with the other foxes shortly before their retirement from exy (not out of free will) someone complains that sports commentators are way too formal, they should just let them call a player a moron if they wanted to. Let them be honest. Let them go apeshit. Someone else says Yeah I wish they were more like Neil and Kevin when theyre watching exy together it'd be way more entertaining that way. And well. It's both the worst and best idea they've ever had. Good thing wymack is already gray.
Podcast or radio or talkshow or live TV hell even twitch for all I care but they start doing live exy commentary. Neither of them can shut up about exy and the insane brainrot these two have bouncing off of eachother is unparalleled. It's perfect. Match made in hell. There's a lot of silly arguments, debates taken way too seriously and (mostly well meant) insults thrown around, which makes it VERY entertaining to watch.
They also invite other people onto their little show as guests and that just makes it even more chaotic.
Bonus points if it does well enough and finds its way on TV it would get Ichirou off their backs for another few years at least
#I'm aware this is silly and unrealistic for them but the comedic potential is too good#I havent written anything in years but now I wanna write episodes from a show / livestream like this 😭#aftg#kevin day#neil josten#tfc#all for the game#I don't even watch talkshows or listen to podcasts
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