#at least she's free?? you only need to complete an event and you get her right

[claitea]

wait oh my god the new anni lillie is just a palette swap of the old one? this actually sucks why did they do that

[crownofgildedlilies]

holiday party

pairing: aizawa x reader summary: Shouta contemplates the possibility of expelling his coworkers. wc: 2.4k event masterlist

“Sensei, are you going to the staff holiday party tonight?”

You’d been a teacher at UA long enough to know to be suspicious of some students. There were some—Asui, Ochaco, Togata, Hado—who were genuinely interested in your life beyond school due to their openhearted personalities. They weren’t overstepping boundaries, but simply curious to get to know you. It was a good quality to have in a hero. 

But then there were students like Kaminari and Ashido. 

It’s not to say that they weren’t openhearted or curious, but their intentions seemed to dip more towards meddling than innocent questioning. 

“Why?” You glanced up from grading, casting a suspicious glance over the two students who had barged into your classroom during lunch. It was far from the first time students from Class 1A had taken over your free period, the frequency had gone down significantly since Shouta had lectured them about overstepping. You’d only smiled and assured him that they weren’t a bother, but he’d insisted. 

Most of the students seemed to get Aizawa’s message and respect your break as your free time. Kaminari and Ashido had only shown up more frequently, asking more and more questions about your personal life. Not that you had much of one beyond UA and being a pro hero. 

“Just curious!” Ashido’s words were rushed, punctuated by a nervous look from Kaminari that she met with wide, chastising eyes. You didn’t need to be a pro to realize they were hiding something, and Kaminari was dangerously close to spilling his secrets. 

“Uh-huh,” You hummed, turning back to your papers on your desk. They were a lot more organized than you usually kept them, thanks to Shouta staying late with you the previous week to help you get your classroom back together. And though he had been exhausted, like usual, he refused to give into your requests to let you finish on your own. 

“So? Are you?” Kaminari leaned forward, grinning as wide as he did when you announced class would be outside in the training fields. Finally pausing your grading, you leaned back into your office chair and examined them with narrowed eyes. Maybe you’d get Shouta to lecture them extra, for good measure.

“I am,” You confirmed, watching as the two students shared a brief look of excitement before turning back to face you, their lunch trays completely ignored on the desks before them. “Why do you two care so much? Students aren’t permitted to go.” 

“Mr. Aizawa said he was going to be there too, did you know?” Ashido ignored your question and countered with one of her own, giving her and Kaminari’s intentions away. 

“Oh,” You struggled to keep your expression neutral. “I get it, now.”

Denki Kaminari and Mina Ashido were far from the first set of students to try and set you up with Shouta Aizawa, but they were by far the least subtle about it. You were pretty sure they were only a few short minutes away from asking if you had a crush on their homeroom teacher. 

Every year, there were a few students that noticed the friendship between you and the underground hero and interpreted it as something deeper than it was. Sure, you were closer to Shouta than most others, and he dedicated a lot of his personal time to helping you with menial tasks or bettering yourself, but it didn’t mean anything. 

High schoolers just liked to see romance everywhere. 

Panic crossed over Kaminari and Ashido’s faces at the implication of being caught out, and you fought hard to keep your expression neutral and hide your amusement. But before you could assure them that you weren’t upset at their attempt to meddle, the door to your classroom opened abruptly. 

You half expected to see Shouta standing there, summoned by your thoughts and the mention of his name. But it was only Hizashi Yamada, dressed in his costume and grinning like he wanted to start some trouble. 

“Hi, Mr. Mic!” Kaminari greeted while him and Ashido scrambled to pack up their belongings and get out of the room. By their reaction, you could tell they clearly had thought Shouta had been the one at the door and panicked that he would catch onto their plan. 

“Bye, Senseis!” Ashido waved over her shoulder to both you and Yamada as she shoved Kaminari out the door. You returned the wave with an amused smile, knowing that they were far from discouraged from their plan. 

“What was that all about?” Yamada stepped closer to your desk to deliver the copies of an assignment you’d asked for, but his curiosity got the better of him. 

“They asked if I was going to the staff dinner tonight.” You explained casually, knowing what you were in for if you didn’t pick your words and your tone carefully. “They mentioned that Shouta would be there, as if that would encourage me to go.”

“Well?” Yamada asked, voice loud and taunting as he set his hands on your desk to lean closer, like he might be able to draw out your secrets that way. “Has Shouta finally asked you to be his date?” 

It wasn’t just the students who thought they could get you and Shouta together. 

“It’s a work holiday party, not a middle school dance.” You rolled your eyes, dropping your attention back to your papers to avoid looking at Yamada, lest he see the truth you had buried deep, deep down. “You sound like the students.” 

“Burn!” He shouted, and even without using his quirk he was loud enough to make you flinch. Shooting him a glare, you met his teasing smile head on. “You two are made for each other. Do me a favor and let me give a speech at the wedding?”

For the second time in only a few short minutes, the door to your classroom opened and another unannounced figure strolled in like they were taking your class.  

“Who’s getting married?” Nemuri Kayama asked, her long dark hair effortlessly cascading down her back and smug grin letting you know without a doubt that she was going to back Yamada in his teasing. 

“Who do we have bets on for getting married?” Yamada prompted her answer with his own question, causing your face to twist in confusion. There were a lot of bets floating around the UA teacher’s lounge, but you knew of only one that had to do with a relationship.

“Snipe and Ectoplasm?” You asked, throwing out the bet you and Kayama had made months prior after what was probably a few too many drinks. 

“No.” Yamada clapped loudly, then used both hands to point finger guns at you. “You and Eraser.”

With the pros Present Mic and Midnight laughing at the look on your face, you realized your lunch break was going to be eaten up by trying to convince your friends that there wasn’t anything going on between you and your mutual friend. They’d never believe you, but it was worth a shot.

Maybe you’d have Shouta give them a lecture, too. 

You blamed Kayama. You really blamed Yamada.

But you hadn’t stopped thinking about the fact that your coworkers had a bet running about how long until you’d get together with Shouta. You had a hard time believing that it had been kept up so long without you noticing, but Kayama had assured you that if you helped her win by making a move by Christmas, she’d give you half her cut. 

Yamada had yelled at you for thinking about cheating, and it was shortly after that your next class period started. You’d tried to focus, really, on what your lesson was about. But you had made a few errors, mind focused on something in the distance. 

Focusing on what exactly was so damning about you and Shouta that so many people seemed to think that it would be a good idea to get the two of you together. 

That thought led to you thinking about Shouta himself. And yeah, okay, he was one of the most attractive men you had ever seen. He was tall, had gorgeous hair—you had always loved when he let you tie it back for him. Not just because you got to run your fingers inconsequentially through his hair, but also because he looked even more attractive with it tied up in a knot at the base of his neck. 

You weren’t naive enough to think that your personalities didn’t mesh well, either. Both of your humors leaned towards the dry side, and where he struggled with caring about details he didn’t find rational, you did enough for the both of you. And he matched your energy like a puzzle piece, his strengths covering your weaknesses like you had been made for each other. 

And—fine. Maybe you could admit that you’d thought about kissing him stupid one or two times.

One thing led to another and you realized you had a massive crush on one of your closest friends.

“You’re very jumpy tonight,” 

Calm, rational. Shouta Aizawa was everything you currently weren’t as you clung to the wall of the teacher’s lounge, the space decorated for the holidays with drinks and music and food to snack on. You’d managed to keep yourself busy, distracted, but Vlad had just ditched you in favor of conversing with Cementoss about something you hadn’t actually heard him mention. 

Which had been fine with you. You weren’t exactly sure how to navigate your newly discovered feelings for Shouta. 

Until he approached you, drink in hand and looking devilishly handsome with his hair tied half up. You think you liked that style more than the low knot, you realized. 

“Am I?” You managed to squeak, tearing yourself from thoughts about all the different hairstyles you could get him to try out. He sent you a concerned look, intelligent eyes scanning your face for any sign of what might have caused your discomfort and change in demeanor. 

You were certain that you looked about as casual as Kaminiari and Ashido had in your classroom earlier that day. 

“Yes. Kayama asked me to come and check on you.” 

Traitor. You knew she was just trying to win her bet, and had hoped to accomplish it by sending him over to the corner of the room you had taken residence in for the evening. 

“Well?” Met only with your silence, Shouta had to prompt you again in an attempt to get your attention. Flushing slightly, you turned away from where you were glaring at Kayama and finally shifted your attention to the man you, apparently not so subtly, been avoiding all evening. “Are you alright?”

No, you weren’t. You found yourself with a massive crush on the one person students and coworkers had been pushing you towards for a few years. And if they had been nudging you towards him, it only stood to reason that they had been encouraging him to approach you, too. 

And if he hadn’t ever mentioned it to you, then he clearly didn’t feel the same towards you as you had recently realized. 

“Did you know there are bets about us getting together?” The words tumbled past your lips before you had the chance to stop them, and you winced, waiting for the shock and disgust to wash over the rational hero’s face. 

Except, he only turned to glare out over the rest of the party. You were pretty sure you saw Yamada and Kayama turn away quickly, as if they hadn’t been so clearly watching the two of you. 

“I’m assuming Hizashi is to blame for you finding out.” He simply sighed, bringing his attention back to you. Frowning, you flustered attention snagged on his last two words.

“Wait, find out? Did you know?” Your question brought a rare blush to his face, palm scrubbing over his face as he tried to think of an explanation for why you had been the last one to know about something that was so heavily focused on, well, you. 

“Yes, I did.” He admitted, voice almost deep and rough enough to distract you. You weren’t mad, just really, really confused. “I tried to get him to stop, but it spiralled out of my control. If you’re uncomfortable by it, I will talk to him again—”

“I’m not uncomfortable, Sho,” You interrupted, and though confusion knitted your features together you knew the one thing you weren’t confused about was whether or not your friends placing a few teasing bets made you uncomfortable. “I’m just not sure where everyone seems to be getting the idea that we’re made for eachother, like Yamada told me this morning.”

“It’s my fault.”

“What? How is it your fault?”

“A while ago, I told Hizashi how I felt about you, and he made a comment about how he bet that I wouldn’t tell you. Eventually, Kayama got brought into it, and before I could get them to stop, most of the faculty had placed money on it.”

“Hold on, slow down.” You waved your hand between the two of you as if to physically slow down his thoughts. Frowning, you tried to make sense of it in your head without jumping to conclusions and hurting your own feelings. “How do you feel about me?”

“This is not how I wanted to go about this, but I think my hand has been forced.” He turned sharply to glare at Yamada and Kayama again, only for you to follow his line of sight and realize that you and Shouta had gathered the attention of more of the staff. 

You felt the corners of your lips start to curve up as you wondered just how many of your friends had money on you and Shouta getting together. 

“Do you want to get out of here? I’d rather not have everyone listening in when I tell you how much I care about you.” He reasoned, and you couldn’t stop your smile from forming. Grinning, you nodded, and watched in delight as Shouta gave you his own hesitant smile. “And I think Hizashi is going to start singing carols soon, too.”

You smiled, laughing softly at his comment. You knew exactly what he meant—as soon as there was a sign of the colder months, Yamada was belting out holiday songs like his life depended on it. And his singing voice was not as enjoyable as his announcer voice.  

“Yeah, I’d like that.” 

Setting your discarded cup on a table as you passed, you used your newly freed hand to tentatively brush your knuckles against Shouta’s fingers. You weren’t sure how much he wanted everyone attending the staff party to know about what he had just confessed, but when he soundly wrapped his hand around yours to lead you from the room, you figured he didn’t care much at all. 

Which was fine by you. Kayama owed you half her winnings, anyways. 

[delphi-shield]

OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs

the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.

Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle. 

It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He’s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event. 

He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo. 

Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.

Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.

”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”

At least you get movie dates out of it.

Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.

I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.

Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.

Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.

Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.

Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?

Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.

He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'

Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.

Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.

She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.

Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.

And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.

If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.

Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.

Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.

Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.

Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.

Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.

Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)

Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.

Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?

Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.

Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst. 

Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”

Unironically sent you a minion meme once.

It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.

If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!

If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.

Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.

[hellodropbear]

like she used to

alexia putellas x sister

i have been writing this for ages and it has just sat in my documents folder since january. i don't usually post stuff i write so this will probably get taken down at some point. i've written 13k words so far but this is just the first 4k.

~~~~~~

I hadn't expected to get the call up, not at all really. But Mapi tore her meniscus and apparently the first team found themselves in need of a backup centre back and I was the best option from the B team. It's a compliment, really. Mami is very proud of me and she is excited for me and my sister to play together in a few weeks, even though she is still recovering from her surgery and I will probably not make it off the bench. I am only 15 and 10 months, usually they wait until you are at least 16 and a bit before you can play. 

But, I don't really know how to feel. Thankfully Alexia won't be in training with me for now and I try to avoid thinking about what will happen when she eventually gets better and I have to face her again.

Alexia is my older sister by a lot. There's a 14 year age gap between us and I used to completely and utterly idolise her. She and Alba were two superheroes, always by my side when I needed them. I put them on a pedestal like they were the greatest human beings to ever walk the planet. To me back then, they were. 

I was only four when my father died. All I remember from that time was the big black invisible sheet that hung outside his study and the dark and scary emotions that swallowed our house whole. Alba and Alexia would argue about who got to cuddle me at night and I was so unaware what was happening that I would happily agree, wiping away their tears when it all got too much. 

The death of our father made our family unit stronger. Mami, Ale, Alba and Elena - it was all any of us needed and we supported each other in whatever ways we could. 

Mami had to pick up more shifts at her job, so she couldn't pick me up from school. Alexia had just got her license so she would come in a break during training and pick me up in her training gear. 

Alexia didn't have time to drop me off at home so I would sit and watch the training with whoever wanted to give me company when they were injured. 

Most days, Alba would come and pick me up and take me on the bus all the way home. She would play cartoons on the TV as she sat at the table and did school work. Some days, when she had the time she would sit with me and watch Alexia's training and we'd all go home together. Alba used to say she enjoyed the training. Looking back, I think she just wanted a free ride home and an excuse to not do her homework. 

As I grew up, everything just worked. Alexia and Alba were still living at home as a support to Mami and everything was perfect. My sisters were my idols, my Mami was my shining star. She still is. She would do anything for her daughters, as long as it meant we were all happy. 

That is why it has been so hard for her over the past two years. 

I have not been happy, not really. My football has been thriving, I have represented my country in the under 17 age group and I am a consistent starter in the Barcelona B team. I spent two years in La Masia before they sent me to the B team last year and I have only been improving since. Everything is going well. Mami says I have had a better start to my career than Alexia did. 

Maybe that is why Alexia hates me. Maybe Mami is just saying that to make me feel better about it.

Alexia and I, despite the 14 year age gap, were always inseparable - for the first 12 years of my life. She was at every single school event, football game, she picked me up from trainings when she could and would train me herself in the garden. We shared a common passion that Alba was not interested in at all - we both love football, we eat, sleep and breath it. Football is everything. She was the one who gave me that mentality. 

"Football is life, Lena, you are lucky you are so good because now you also get to live football and hermanita, it is the most incredible thing." 

She had whispered that to me when I was 11. We were sat on the beach, a place we visited frequently throughout my childhood, both of us staring out at the reflection of the moon on the sea. Alba was fast asleep, her head in Alexia's lap as she snored lightly, completely oblivious to our conversation. 

It all fell apart over three years ago, although I don't have the first clue as to why. 

It was not an explicit event that ruined everything, more my older sister growing up and flying the nest that was so secure and established over years and years of shared success, happiness, failure and grief. She moved out of home long before that, but her split with Jenni upset her, I think, a great deal. I wouldn't know because she didn't really tell me anything - that was strictly Alba's business. 

I didn't even know they had broken up until 5 months after it actually happened. 

"Mami, why does Jenni never come over any more?" 

It was an innocent and normal question, but the look on my mother's face told me everything. Everything about Jenni and everything about my sister. 

I think that was the first knock. She hadn't done anything wrong but I had loved Jenni and Jenni had loved me. I would have thought that she would have told me they broke up. Maybe she didn't want to, maybe she just forgot. She does a lot of that these days. 

Before she and Jenni broke up, she still came to all of my games. She never missed one game before I transferred to La Masia and would insist on taking me out to ice cream after every one. She would tease me for not scoring like she does, even though I play as a centre back. 

"You need some training from Mapi, she is a centre back and has the most lethal free kick, hermanita! She is the best defender I have played with, but don't tell her I said that. I think you will grow up to be better than her." 

She was excited that day, I had made a few good saves and I think that was the first time she really saw that I had the potential to be great. 

I remember the first game she was late to. I noticed immediately but we both pretended she was on time - she only made it to the last 10 minutes but I put it down as traffic or being caught up at training. She was busy, it takes a lot to be La Reina. 

I remember the first game she missed entirely. She wasn't there at the beginning and she wasn't there at the end. I was 13 and I didn't have a phone yet so I couldn't call Mami and ask her to come pick me up because Alexia was too busy. I told myself it was because she was too busy. I didn't want to say she had forgotten because that was too hard for me to handle. 

I remember vividly sitting outside the stadium as the sun set. My coach had asked where my sister was, I was a bit stuck with what to say but I managed to convince her I was fine and she could go home. 

Alba came and picked me up after work that night. It was dark and she looked sad but when I asked if she was ok, she just shrugged her shoulders and said everything would be fine. 

I found out from Mami a few weeks later that Alba was sad because I had never once been forgotten anywhere. Alba saw that as the destruction of our strong family. I suppose she was not wrong. 

Alexia never said anything about that game but she was at the next. She didn't take me out for ice cream after, instead patting my head and telling me she would drop me off at Mami's work. 

"I have things to do, Elena, I am very busy. Hopefully soon Mami will let you catch the bus on your own. Maybe Alba can take you soon so you know the correct routes." 

Her words hurt more than I could admit to myself, I told myself to stop being pathetic. Mami asked why I was crying when I walked into her office. I told her I had played terribly and she comforted me. I think she knew I was lying. I think that is why she had tears in her eyes when she released me from her grip-like hold.

Since that day, Alexia has been to 3 of my games. She went to one more of my old club games but she was sat beside Alba, her eyes glued to her phone the entire match. I was so unfocused that the ball deflected off my face and we conceded. I was taken off with a bleeding nose but when I looked up in the stands, my sister was still staring at her phone. Alba had run down the stairs and was by my side when I entered the little sick bay. 

I cried then too. Most people thought it was because of the bleeding nose or the conceded goal. Alba knew that wasn't the real reason. 

The penultimate game she watched was the final of the under 15s Catalonia cup. I don't know what she did during the game because Mami told me not to look up. She said she didn't want me to get distracted but I think she meant to say she didn't want me to get hurt. 

I think I still idolised Alexia at that point in time. She was still my older sister and she was still the best player in the world. She still had weekly dinners at home, although she wouldn't sit next to me and sneakily take all the food I didn't want off my plate anymore. She stopped staying to watch a movie after dinner even though my favourite part of the week was falling asleep in her lap as her hands combed softly through my hair. 

I remember when I was accepted into La Masia, Mami held a nice big dinner. It was right in the middle of covid so it was technically illegal, but we had a lot of my family over. Mami invited a few of the Barcelona girls as well and Mapi and Leila reminded me of what it used to be like before Alexia stopped loving me. 

The reminder of the before was more painful than I liked to admit, and the night ended when the tears that had been burning in the back of my eyes finally spilled out as I was talking to Mapi. 

She immediately pulled me into her arms and asked what was wrong and I struggled to find a lie that would be believable. 

I settled on saying I was upset about everything changing - which I suppose was true. 

I remember Alexia looking mortified and breaking eye contact as soon as I looked at her. She told me off that evening when Mami was in the shower and Alba was talking to someone else. She told me I needed to be grateful for everything I have been given and that she paved the way for me. 

It was even worse when she said I would never achieve the things she has. She said it was because I didn't have the mentality that she did, that I had it all so easy. 

It hurt the most when she told me she was disappointed in the person I was. 

"I hope we never share a shirt, Elena, because the day you play in the first Barcelona team is the day that we have run out of players. It will mean that football players are week and female footballers can not be weak. You do not have it in you to be like me, to do what I have done to get to where I am."

The venom in her voice sent a cold shiver down my spine and I felt like I had been stabbed. I didn't cry that time. I waited until I was in my bedroom to sob my heart out. 

The last time she ever watched me play was the next day, but she didn't have an option not to. I played terribly, my first game as a La Masia student, my sisters words repeating over and over in my head. 

That was really what tipped the relationship I once shared with Alexia on its head. The pedestal I had put her on was destroyed and suddenly she was just another player. I barely saw her as my sister any more. She couldn't love me, you wouldn't be able to hurt someone you love so much. 

I have barely seen her since. She still comes to our family dinners on Thursday nights - she still very much loves Alba and our Mami. But I tell Mami that I have training with Barcelona B late on Thursdays. It finishes at 6 and dinner starts at 7, but I just organise to go to my friends' houses for dinner instead. 

Sometimes we both have dinner together at home, but it is awkward and I hate it. I think she has probably forgotten about what she said to me in June of 2021, but I don't think I will ever be able to. 

She doesn't like me, but it's ok because I have learnt to accept that. But I will never not love my sister because she was once everything to me. 

~~~~~~

"Pequena Putellas!" Patri's excited shriek is what welcomes me into the dressing room on my first day. She tackles me into a hug and squeezes me tight. "It has been such a long time, mi favorita!" 

The last time I saw Patri was only last year at the champions league final. I had sat with my whole family but I went to the bathroom when everyone else went and spoke to the players. I don't think Patri would have seen me. 

I can only smile as she continues. 

"I remember you as the little 8 year old who would sit and watch our training sessions after school! I was so confused by you when I first arrived here, you know. I remember the first time Ale let you play a game with us and you were so good!" 

"Nobody doubted that you would be on this team one day!" A new voice entered the conversation.

"Marta!" I hugged the brunette closely. She was always one of my favourites. 

"I am proud of you, pequena putellas." 

Her words are familiar as I have heard them out of my mothers voice time and time again my whole life. But they seem foreign coming from Marta and it is an unwanted reminder of my sister. I don't know why - maybe it is because I have always associated this Barcelona team with her. I don't remember the last time she said she was proud of me. 

I don't remember the last time she said anything to me, really. 

"Gracias, Marta, I have missed you." I bury my head into her neck and she holds me closer. 

"You have not been around as much since you transferred to La Masia. I wanted to come and watch but Ale never extended an invitation and I didn't want to overstep." I shake my heads at her words and she frowns. 

"Alexia doesn't have time for my games, she hasn't for a while. It takes a lot to be La Reina." 

Marta's frown deepens at my words and the attention of a few spanish players is captured. I should have spoken quieter, I forgot how many people in here speak catalan. 

"It is ok, she is very supportive, but she just can't come to my games. She makes it up in other ways." I am lying through my teeth but Marta will never know. 

"I am sure, she must be very proud of you, being selected in this team for the first time, it is a big deal, you are very young."

All I can do is nod, my energy is all being put into holding back my own tears. I don't know if Mami told her. I don't know if Alexia even knows that I was selected. 

"Get changed now, I am sure Jona will want to talk to you before the session, especially with the game tomorrow."

I nod again as Marta pats me on the back and walk over to the cubby that says my name. It feels a bit surreal, really. 

I never really thought I would see my name on a Barcelona cubby, accompanied by my new number that I chose in the meeting a few days ago. It was always a dream, but I never thought it was achievable. Alexia always seemed like a superstar, a superhuman of sorts and I would never reach that kind of level. 

But here I am in the team that I always wanted to be in - in no way am I anywhere near my sisters level but I am on my way to being like her. I just wish she cared. I wish she was proud of me like Marta is. 

Her cubby sits across from me and I try to tear my eyes from it but it sits and stares right back at me. I feel like an intruder in Alexia's space, this is not for me, she would not want me to be here. 

I tie my laces quickly after that and head out onto the pitches to begin training. 

I have trained with the first team twice before, but the Barcelona Bs were always slightly seperate and we could keep our distance from the first players. Jonatan is a familiar face and I feel comfortable as he smiles and me and motions for me to follow the others to the gym. 

It is weird, being promoted within my own club. I am not so much a new signing, but a replacement - I am not good enough to be in the first team but they had no other options when Mapi injured herself. 

I used to worry that people would say I only get opportunities because my last name is Putellas. When my sister told me I was weak all those years ago, that idea sort of cemented in my head, I suppose. 

I never told my Mami what her daughter said to me because it would upset her. I told Alba half of it when she found me crying in my room a few days later but made her promise to not tell anyone. She couldn't say anything to Mami, Alexia, anyone at all because it would only make Alexia think I was weaker. 

She was furious and tried to tell me it was untrue but it had already been said. I believed Alexia's word more than anyone else. To me, she was a superhuman. 

But when I spoke to Jonatan a few days ago he made me feel like I was wanted within this squad. He made it clear that he wants me to integrate completely into the squad in the next few years and that he can see me playing soon even though I am only 15. 

I told him I didn't want anything special because of my surname. 

He told me that he chose me because of my first name. 

"Elena Putellas,"  he said with a grin, "you may be as good as her, but you are not your sister. This is a professional environment. As long as you perform, which I know you will, nobody will care what your name is."

It was a big boost to my confidence. 

Aitana Bonmati caught up to me quickly as I walked to the gym. 

"You are big now." I chuckled but did not look over, I didn't need to really. "But not that big. You are only 15, si?"

"Yes, I am 15." 

I met Aitana when she first joined the club. She always used to say that she would steal me and take me home with her because she thought I was adorable. It is strange that I am now sort of in the same team as her. 

She started playing for the first team when I was 8. I was older then, I played my own football and liked staying with Alexia so I could kick a ball around with her teammates when they were done. 

Aitana was one of the few who would stay every time I was there. When Alexia didn't want to wait she would drive me home herself, all the way to the other side of Barcelona. We would always stop for ice cream on the way home. 

"I have not seen you in too long, Lena. I have missed you a lot but you have been doing very well in the B team. I am very proud and I take credit for your abilities." She spoke in such a dead pan voice but it was somehow still filled with emotion. 

"I have missed you too, ABC." It was a nickname I gave her the first time she drove me home. I had been learning about the alphabet in English class and had the little song stuck in my head when she told me her full name. I used to sing her initials in the tune of the song but it quickly merged to me just saying the three letters. 

"I have been to a few of your games, you know?" 

I look at her in confusion, I have never seen her there. She just nods. 

"Alexia never invited any of us but she was never at the ones I went to so I would sit in the stands with a hat and glasses so people wouldn't recognise me, but I was there. I went to your La Masia games as well. You have become a phenomenal player, Lena."

She has always spoken with such sincerity. I have missed her a lot. 

"Maybe you can drop me off at home again tonight? I have missed you."

She chuckles and pulls me into a side hug. 

"I was waiting for you to ask, little Lena. Oh you are not so little any more!"

I chuckle as well and let my head fall onto her shoulder as we enter the gym. My eyes scan the room, looking at all of the players on their equipment, nerves quickly settling inside me. 

"Don't worry, it's all easy." Aitana seems to read my mind. "Just come with me and I will show you how to do everything. It will become second nature in the next few days."

The gym session went quickly as I was taught all the different exercises. I was familiar with most of them, having done a very similar program in the past with the B team. 

We went out onto the field to do some drills and I played well. Jonatan was impressed and so were the first players. My teammates? Maybe, not quite, I don't think. I still haven't been in a team list, so I suppose I'll be their teammate when that eventually happens. 

It wasn't until we reached the ice cream shop that Aitana started asking me all the awkward questions. I should have seen it coming. 

"Why do you never come to our games anymore, Lena?" I was very grateful for the scoops of gelato in my hands. Eating it delayed my response as I tried to come up with something to say. I shrug as I eat.

I can not say it is because I do not get along with Alexia. It is too hard for me to say now, even after all these years. 

"I'm not sure. I suppose I got busy with my own training and school. I have been to a few but I usually go home with Alba pretty quickly after they finish." It is only half a lie but she just shrugs, apparently not believing my words. 

"And why is it that I am driving you home from your first ever first team training? I thought Alexia would have wanted to." I anticipated a question like this but that does not mean I wanted her to actually ask it. 

"Alexia is busy." I hope that Aitana understands I don't want to talk about it. I haven't spoken about my broken relationship with my sister to anyone. I think she can sense something is wrong though, because she puts her spoon back into her ice cream and grabs my arm so I am staring right at her. 

"If you ever want to talk, I am right here, Lena. I know you don't like people knowing what is going on inside that crazy head of yours but it is good to release your feelings." 

She definitely knows something is wrong so I appreciate her not pushing. 

"I have outlets, I play football, I play the piano, I am ok, aitana, I really am." 

She eyed me as if to say she didn't believe me but dropped the topic anyway. 

"When did you get so good?"

chapter II

[rafestify]

Self Control — Rafe Cameron

rafe cameron x reader

Summary : Pogue!Reader who's known as a very calm and sweet human being, suddenly snaps and Rafe gets turned on.

Warnings : 18+, No smut, just a few cursing :D (english is not my first language, i'm sorry)

Kooks parties were never better than classic Pogues parties, or at least that's what I've always thought. There was always something about Pogue parties, filled with cheap beers, loud music, and people who didn’t care about what you wore or how much money you had. It was freeing. In contrast, Kooks parties felt suffocating—people showed up just to flex about their parents' money and gulp down overpriced drinks they couldn’t even pronounce.

But here I am, walking hand-in-hand with my boyfriend, Rafe Cameron, the "Kook King", to yet another one of these Kooks parties. I can’t help but notice the irony of it all. I’m wearing a dress that costs more than I’d normally spend in six months, and even though it looks amazing, it feels strange—like I’m playing a role in someone else’s world. It clings to my body in all the right places, but it’s not me. Everything about being with Rafe is like that—expensive, luxurious, and completely foreign to the life I’ve known. Growing up as a Pogue meant thrift store finds, hand-me-downs, and making the most out of whatever little you had. Rafe’s world is the opposite. His life is silver spoons and luxury yachts, and sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in it.

"I'm gonna go get a drink," I said, looking up at him, smiling. His hand let go of mine as I made my way through the crowd, the same familiar feeling of being out of place washing over me. The looks I got from his friends, from the Kooks, remained the same—confusion and disgust. To them, I’ll always be that Pogue who somehow ended up in their circle. Rafe could have anyone he wanted—he’s wealthy, hot, and smart, the complete Kook package. Yet, here he is with me, someone from the other side of the island, where kids grow up on fishing boats instead of private yachts.

I grabbed a drink from the bar—something fancy I couldn’t even name and took a small sip. It was bitter, too strong for my liking, but I didn’t care. I just wanted something to dull the awkwardness I felt. As I turned back, I saw Rafe talking with his friends, laughing at some inside joke I wasn’t a part of. I debated whether to go back and stand by his side or just blend into the background like I usually did at these events. I didn’t want to ruin his fun by being the odd one out, so I wandered away, trying to make myself busy.

Then I heard it.

"She's not my girlfriend, okay? She's a fucking Pogue, dude. A Pogue like her doesn’t get to live under the same roof as me."

I instantly froze. My heart dropped into my stomach. Was he really talking about me? My mind raced, trying to make sense of what I had just heard. I must have misunderstood, right? But there was no mistaking the venom in his voice. My nose flared as anger and hurt collided inside me, pushing me to the edge. I turned on my heel and stormed through the crowd, my eyes searching desperately for the exit. I needed to get out of here before I exploded. The crowd felt suffocating, their laughter and clinking glasses a cruel mockery of the turmoil brewing inside me. But before I could reach the door, a strong hand wrapped around my arm, stopping me dead in my tracks. I spun around, my eyes locking onto his icy blue ones, the ones I used to find myself getting lost in, the ones that now only fueled my rage.

"Where the hell are you going, baby?" he asked, his voice dripping with confusion, like he didn’t understand why I was running away.

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him properly. My gaze dropped to the floor, my fists clenched at my sides. "Let go of me, Rafe," I said, my voice filled barely-contained anger.

He furrowed his brows, clearly confused. "What's wrong with you?" There was an edge of annoyance in his tone, like I was the one being unreasonable. I snapped. "What’s wrong with me?" He blinked, his face still a mask of confusion. He genuinely didn’t seem to get it. "Y/N, I don’t—"

"Cut the bullshit, Rafe! Don’t act like you don’t know what you said back there with your friends because I heard it all." My voice rose, shaking with the betrayal that gripped me.

The realization finally hit him. I could see it in the way his expression shifted, from confusion to guilt. He ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his when he was caught off guard.

"Hey, hey… listen to me—"

"No, I don’t want to hear it," I shot back, stepping away from him. "You can take your lame excuses and shove them. Go chase after some other girl." I turned to walk away again, but his voice stopped me cold.

"Do you not remember when we promised to keep our relationship secret?" he said, his voice rising in frustration. "That’s exactly what I was doing!" I froze, his words swirling in my head. I turned back slowly, glaring at him. "It doesn’t work like that, you idiot! You made it sound like I’m just your fucking toy, someone you can dump whenever you feel like it!" My voice was shaking now, the hurt bleeding into every word.

"God, you’re such a pussy, Rafe," I said with a bitter laugh. "Saying stupid shit about your girlfriend behind her back."

He bit his bottom lip, clearly struggling with what to say. For a moment, we just stood there, the tension between us thick enough to cut through. Then, in the most Rafe way possible, he leaned in, his hand gripping my neck as he pulled me into a kiss. "Jesus, you’re so hot," he muttered against my lips, kissing me hard and fast, like he could erase everything with that one gesture. I pushed him away, still furious. "Rafe—" He cut me off, his voice softening, "Save it for later, baby. Let me make it up to you."

I wanted to slap him. I wanted to scream at him and walk out of that party for good. But his hands were on my waist, pulling me closer, his lips finding mine again in a way that made my anger start to blur into something else.

The frustrating part was that he knew exactly what he was doing.

likes & reblogs are appreciated! 🎀( ﾟ∀ﾟ)人(ﾟ∀ﾟ )

[breezeflows]

The Long Road (Stanford Pines x Reader)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 is here yippee!! I feel like these first few chapters are kind of slow but it’ll be worth it i swear!! And also a huge thank you to everyone for showing the first chapter so much love! It means the world to me. Now with all that aside here is Chapter 2! <3

Themes: This chapter is prettyyy sappy, Ford and Reader sort of make up? (Let’s see how long that lasts) sad feelings, small arguments, kissing, yearning, etc all the stuff that’s blanching okay anyways

The next day you find yourself sitting in a booth at Greasy’s Diner, idly stirring creamer into your cup of coffee. The diner is relatively quiet, the only sounds coming from the occasional clinking of silverware against plates and the soft hum of the AC unit. The smell of bacon and fried eggs wafts through the air, and sunlight streams through the large windows, casting the small diner in a warm glow. You take a sip of your coffee, the caffeine working its way into your system as you try to distract yourself from the thoughts of yesterday’s events.

You’re soon brought out of your trance as your close friend Lizzy arrives, sliding her way into the booth in front of you. Her strong perfume drifts through the air as she tucks her curly blonde hair behind her ears, showing off the golden hoops she’s adorning as she readjusts her bright green V-neck. She reaches into her purse, grabbing a bright red lipstick and begins applying it as she speaks.

“Sorry I’m late doll. Traffic was a total nightmare!”

Your face warms at the presence of your close friend, although it doesn’t seem to ease the heartache you’re feeling from your previous encounter with Ford. Your hurt being evident in your tone as you reply.

“It’s no problem Liz.”

Lizzy’s gaze instantly meets yours as she pauses, catching onto your tone immediately. She studies you for a moment, lowering the red lipstick as she takes in your tired eyes and solemn expression.

“Hey, you okay?” she asks gently, voice laced with concern. “You look like you’ve been through the wringer.”

You sigh, your shoulders drooping as you begin to explain your situation to Lizzy.

“I don’t even know where to start,” you say, fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater. (Ford’s sweater ahem ahem) “Things have been… hectic, to say the least. My relationship with Ford has been falling apart, and I feel like I’ve been living with a ghost these past few weeks. He’s been completely immersed in his research, and he barely even acknowledges my presence anymore.”

Lizzy watches you carefully with a frown, her brows furrowed in concern.

You continue, your voice faltering slightly as you recall the recent events. “Yesterday morning, we had a tense conversation where he basically said that his research is more important to him than our marriage. And then one of our old friends from college showed up and it made the situation even worse.”

Lizzy listens intently as you speak, her expression filled with sympathy. Once you finish explaining everything, she reaches across the table and takes your hand in hers, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this Y/N,” she says soothingly. “You deserve so much better than that doll. And you should definitely get out of that house for a bit and clear your mind. How about you come stay at my place for a couple of weeks? You don’t need to deal with all of this...” she waves her free hand around as she continues. “Man-stress, alone.”

A wave of gratitude washes over you at Lizzy’s offer, and you can feel the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. She really was an amazing friend. You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself.

“Are you sure?” you ask. “I don’t want to impose or anything.”

Lizzy chuckles dismissively, giving you a reassuring smile.

“You won’t be imposing on anything Y/N. I’ve got a spare room in my apartment, and it’ll be nice to have some company other than my boyfriend. Plus, a change of scenery might do you some good.”

You take a second to consider her offer, weighing the pros and cons in your mind. The idea of getting away from everything for awhile was tempting, and spending time with a good friend is always a nice thought. You take another deep breath, pushing down the small voice in your head that is telling you to stay and make things right with Ford. You knew he wasn’t going to change his mind anytime soon, or at least it felt that way.

“Okay,” you finally say, your voice slightly stronger now. “I’ll stay with you for a while. Thank you, Liz, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

Her smile widens, and she gives your hand another squeeze. “Of course chick,” she says. “What are friends for right?” She then reaches over and takes your coffee, thoughtfully taking a sip of the not-so-hot liquid.

“So, do you need help packing a bag, or do you want to go back home first to get your things?”

You think for a moment before replying. “I can head back to the house to pack a bag, but I’ll probably need to leave the car for Ford in case he needs it. Could you pick me up around 3:00?”

Lizzy nods in understanding, a slight frown on her face at the mention of Ford. Even when the two of you were fighting you still looked out for him, it was admirable.

“Yeah, of course,” she says. “I’ll be there at three. Text me when you’re packed and ready, and I’ll head over to pick you up. Just focus on getting what you need, and don’t worry about anything else, kay?”

You down the rest of your now-shared coffee, feeling a sense of relief at the prospect of getting away from the stressful atmosphere of your house. You thank your friend once again for her kindness, promising to message her once you’re ready to be picked up. With a small wave you leave the diner, heading back towards your house to pack a bag and prepare for your temporary stay at Lizzy’s.

As you make your way back to the cabin you realize walking may not have been the smartest choice. The skies have darkened, and the air has grown crisper. Large, plump raindrops begin to fall, creating a soft patter against the pavement. The once bright and sunny day has transformed into a dreary, rainy afternoon, the weather seeming to reflect your current situation.

You quicken your pace, the sound of rain getting louder as it hits the ground and the surrounding trees. The house soon comes into view, standing tall and imposing against the grey sky. Your clothes and hair become soaked with rain as you speed towards the front door, swinging it open and shutting it behind you.

As you step into the house, the heavy door closing behind you with a soft thump, you are surprised to find Ford standing in the entryway. He looks the same as before, tired, and a bit weathered. Although he seems taken aback by your appearance, his eyes flickering with surprise and… something else.

“You’re soaked,” he says, a hint of concern in his voice. “What happened?”

You turn your gaze from him as you shed your coat, revealing his old sweater underneath as you place it on a nearby hook.

“I went out with Lizzy for a late breakfast and got caught in the rain.”

Ford watches you as you hang your coat and begin to remove your shoes. He notices the slight distance in your voice, and the way you avoid his gaze. He knows deep down there’s more to it than just a simple breakfast with a friend. He hesitates a moment before speaking.

“I see,” he says slowly. “So, you two just… had breakfast?”

A sigh escapes you as you sit up straight, finally meeting his gaze.

“Yep.”

Ford’s jaw clenches slightly as he studies you, clearly sensing that there’s more to the story than you’re letting on.

“That’s it?” He presses, a note of skepticism in his voice.

“I’m going to be staying at her place for a couple of weeks.”

His eyes widen at your response, his lips parting in surprise. The hint of skepticism in his voice grows stronger as he takes a small step towards you.

“Wait a minute,” he says. “How long..?”

You turn your head from him with a frown, hugging your arms as you speak in a quiet yet frustrated tone.

“I’ll be out of your hair this way and you can focus on your project with Fiddleford, since it obviously takes higher priority.”

Ford’s eyes widen even further, a mix of shock and pain crossing his face at your words. His hands clench at his sides as he processes what you’ve just said, his mind reeling.

“What are you talking about?” he asks, his tone now filled with frustration. “You’re treating this like I just want to get rid of you, like I don’t-“ He pauses closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Like what Stanford?” you step forward, beginning to become angry with him. “Don’t act as though you didn’t tell me that your research is bigger than our relationship. You’ve tossed everything aside but now that I’m leaving for a few weeks you’re suddenly concerned?”

His eyes snap open at your outburst, scowling as his expression was a mix of frustration and guilt.

“You’re twisting my words,” he snaps. “I never said my research was bigger than our marriage. I just…” He falls silent, his anger deflating slightly as he looks at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of pleading in remorse.

“I just need some time to focus on this project,” he continues, softer now, his frustration giving way to desperation. “But that doesn’t mean I wanted you to leave. I… I never wanted that Y/N. Never.”

Your anger and resolve begin to crumble at his pleading state, your eyes softening as they meet his. You find your legs moving on their own as you step towards him, your arms slowly reaching to wrap around his middle. You rest your cheek on Ford’s shoulder, inhaling his scent. A mixture of pine and musk, with a tinge of smoke.

He lets out a shaky breath as you approach him, his rigid stance relaxing as you embraced him. His own hands eventually find your back, hesitating for a moment, but soon returning the embrace. He holds you as close to him as possible, trembling slightly as he buried his face in your hair.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered, his voice muffled, but filled with a combination of mixture and despair.

“Please don’t leave me.”

You tighten your arms around him, your voice soft and reassuring.

“I’m not leaving you Ford,” you speak, your breath warm against his neck. “I just think we both need a bit of space right now. I need time to sort out my thoughts, and I think getting away for awhile will help with that. But I promise you I’m not leaving you.”

Ford’s grip on you tightens slightly at your words, as if he is afraid to let you go. His body tremors faintly as he absorbs your reassurance, his voice a mixture of relief and resignation.

“How long?” he asks with a vulnerable tone. “How long will you be gone?”

You pull back, just enough to look him in the eyes. You reach up, gently cupping his face in your hands, and he leans into your touch.

“Just a couple of weeks at most,” your thumb stroked his cheek as you spoke, giving him a look of sympathy. “When I get back, we can work through this, alright?”

His eyes search yours, his expression now one of understanding. Ford nods slowly, his hands moving to cover yours, his calloused fingers gripping your wrists gently.

“Alright. But please stay in touch. I need to know you’re okay.”

You manage to give him a soft smile and a nod, before leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to his lips. Ford’s eyes fluttered shut at the unexpected gesture, a small sound of surprise escaping him. His hands grip yours even tighter, his body leaning into yours as the kiss lingers for a moment.

After sharing a few more, you finally pull back. Ford’s eyes open, and he gazes at you with a look of surprise and yearning. A slight flush of pink is apparent on his features, his lips parted and slightly reddened from the act. He observes you for a moment, before bringing your knuckles to his lips, placing a gentle kiss there as if trying to hold on to this moment for as long as possible.

“I’ll miss you,” he spoke tenderly. “Don’t forget about me while you’re gone, okay?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Sixer.”

Ford’s heart skips a beat at the familiar nickname, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He pulls you closer, enveloping you in his embrace once more, large calloused hands wrapping around your back.

“Good,” he murmurs, resting his chin atop of your head.

“Because I’ll be counting the days until you come back.”

tags :) - @artistic-gato @karmaisacatluzi @therottenheartofscum

[sansaorgana]

— DECEPTION (IX)

DECEPTION MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader // Adar x fem!Elf!Reader

SUMMARY — Negotiations with Herald Elrond do not go as smoothly as your husband planned and you become more and more aware of your feelings towards Adar.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — This chapter is quite short but the previous one was long and it would be too big if I included this part there, meanwhile the next chapter(s) will be the last part(s) already with two alternative versions and the events from this one remain the same for both endings – that's why it's a separate chapter. 💕 By the way, do you remember the poll at the end of one of the previous chapters? Adar won there against Sauron, which means most of you would rather see the Reader in this story end up with Adar. As I said, there will be two alternative versions, so you can choose the ending. However, I think it is obvious already that both relationships will not be of an easy kind. There is lots of betrayal going on between Sauron and the Reader but also Adar finding out about her being Sauron's lover is deeply problematic... 🙈

WARNINGS — forced/arranged marriage, Reader is NOT a good person – she is proud, greedy, fake and corrupted by Sauron, "love" triangle situationship

WORD COUNT — 3,650

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

DECEPTION (IX)

You were responsible for looking after your prisoner Lady Galadriel while your husband was attacking Eregion and damming the river. He didn’t want you near the actual fight, at least not for now yet. You knew what he needed your prisoner for and you were supposed to prepare her for the task.

“Your husband is a fool,” Galadriel spoke to you through gritted teeth when you were leading her by the shackles inside the cage prepared for her. “I do not care if I live or die. I fight for ideas much bigger than you or I. I fight for Middle-earth and it will fail if Adar walks right into Sauron’s trap.”

“Perhaps,” you answered mysteriously and gave her a scolding look, “but you overestimate my influence on Adar. I think I have done that, too. He will not listen to me in this case. He is too determined to get rid of Sauron and to erase him from Middle-earth completely. He does not think rationally,” you explained to her. “He would burn the whole world, I think, if it would only take Sauron down with it.”

Galadriel stayed silent and you pushed her inside the cage before locking it and hiding the key. However, it was not time yet for her to be taken out of the war camp, so you just sat on a chair in front of the cage and kept staring at her, studying everything you had wished to be once as a young and naive Elven maiden.

“What is it like?” Galadriel asked in a whisper after a long while of silence.

“What do you mean?” You raised an eyebrow at her.

“What is it like to go down the dark path?” She furrowed her brows and your heart skipped a beat.

Why was she wondering? Was she considering it? Or had she in the past? Was Sauron the reason for that? Your lover?

“It is freeing but treacherous. It has its price like everything else,” you shrugged your arms.

“Do you love him? Do you love Adar?” She asked one more question but it did not feel like an interrogation. In a way, it felt like being questioned by a curious child.

But Lady Galadriel was not a curious child. She was one of the most noble Elven ladies. Her heart and mind had to be a real mess if she kept asking such things. And, once again, you had that malicious feeling that Sauron was the reason for her curiosity.

“I have grown to love him,” you admitted without thinking and then you looked away, trying to avoid her surprised gaze.

Because you were surprised, too. You had never said that out loud – not to him, not to anyone, not to your own self. And yet, your lips answered before your mind could think of a coherent and vague reply.

You loved Adar but you were so entangled in Sauron’s web that you brought him to his death.

“Are you asking me these because of Sauron the Dark Lord?” You asked Lady Galadriel, trying to change the subject. “Because of the past you once shared with him?”

“Funny. I have just realised you call yourself the Dark Lady of Mordor,” Galadriel also preferred to change the subject and talk about you rather than about herself.

“It is not the name I have given to myself. What are you insinuating?” You moved uncomfortably.

That was the exact reason why you did not want to spend too much time with her alone. You were scared that her heart – influenced by Sauron just like yours – would recognise you as her rival. 

“Perhaps you do not hate him as much as your husband does. Perhaps you idolise him,” Galadriel pointed out and you stood up angrily and pressed the tip of your dagger to her throat.

“Shut it, you are pushing too hard, Elf,” you warned her and she looked down at the blade with widened eyes.

Sauron’s dagger. Of course. You only proved her point.

“It was a gift from my husband,” you explained and hid the dagger away. “He took it from Sauron’s dead body after killing him.”

“Beware. His items are as powerful as he, Uruk,” Galadriel threatened.

“I am not easily corrupted,” you remarked although it was a lie and an obvious one as well. And she knew it.

“Really?” She asked.

“I told you to shut it, didn’t I?” You only drawled out through gritted teeth and sat back on the chair.

The sounds from afar were making you feel anxious but you knew that now there was absolutely no chance of convincing Adar to go back home. He would never abandon the battlefield and retreat his forces. His pride was too grand for that and you could only watch how the events would turn out.

Perhaps Sauron would not win. There was a small thread of hope that he would not succeed in his scheme. It would not be the first time when Adar outsmarted him.

And even though you already knew that to Sauron you were nothing but a tool – you still felt guilty for thinking such thoughts. As if he was a god indeed but the funny thing was, you had never felt so guilty after abandoning the Valar. But you felt guilty now for a man so rotten and evil.

He should have stayed dead.

Charging Elven horses were a beautiful sight and quite powerful, too. Even if they were coming right at you. But you stood still despite your pounding heart and clinged to Adar’s arm to feel a bit safer.

If you were to die now alongside him – perhaps it would be for the better. You would miss out on so many awful things that were about to come.

And as you watched the Elven soldiers charging towards you, you thought they looked beautifully terrifying. Some part of you mourned you were no longer their kin but the other part of you felt oddly proud to be the very thing that repulsed them now, leading the army of filthy creatures shouting obscenities towards them. And in that way you were an Uruk, too. There was nothing saint to you and no rules to follow anymore.

Except for Sauron. He was your only exception but you hoped to get free of his chains, too.

Being Adar’s wife had taught you many things but humility was not one of the lessons. On the contrary, he had made you realise that you deserved to be treated as an equal.

At the sight of Lady Galadriel inside the cage, with an Orc’s blade cutting her neck and drawing blood, the army of the Elves stopped all of the sudden right in front of you. And the man leading them was Herald Elrond himself.

He was one of those important Elves that everyone knew but he had never treated you like you were worse just because you were a Lady from The Southlands, living inside the cold and raw fortress of Ostirith. He had always treated you with kindness and respect.

And now he was staring at you if you were something disgusting.

Many considered Galadriel to be made of pure light but it was him out of all who would be the most difficult to corrupt even though he was half-human.

“Welcome, Commander Elrond,” Adar took a step ahead, leaving you in the shadows with his children.

Long silence occurred but it was obvious that despite the hesitation, Elrond would not leave his friend in the enemy’s cage or continue the attack under such circumstances. Therefore, he nodded at his people and jumped out of his horse. He took one more man with him – Vorohil – and he agreed to follow you with him to your camp and negotiate.

You walked alongside Galadriel’s cage, watching her carefully as the Orcs kept pushing it with her inside. You could feel Elrond’s disgusted and curious eyes on you as you decided it was getting frustrating to be perceived by all those Elves who knew nothing of you or your history. All they knew was judgement – another hypocrisy of a kin known to be so pure and noble.

You truly wanted to go back to Mordor; to hide in the shadows and remain there forever, inside your realm and far away from others. Yet, who could you blame for being here and not there? It had been you pushing Adar to come to Eregion.

You stood next to your husband who was sitting by the table inside your tent. This time you did not choose to sit next to him like the last time when you had been negotiating with Lady Galadriel. She was in shackles by the wooden pole and Glûg was standing behind you, staring at Elrond and Vorohil with hatred in his small eyes.

There had been a time when his eyes had been nearly the same when laid upon you. And now he would die to defend you – of that you were sure.

“The Ring you carry,” Adar began once they were sitting across the table. “Show it to me,” he requested.

“A foolish act if I had brought it here,” Elrond pointed out.

“You are a courtier. More suited to wielding a scroll than a sword,” Adar told him and you smirked a little because you had thought the same of yourself.

Sauron himself had once told you something similar; an excuse to keep you away from the important events. And for many years you had believed in that. It was Adar who had gifted you a dagger to defend yourself and who had allowed you to keep the very sword you had used to doom The Southlands. It was him who had begun teaching you how to wield it and you really hoped he would live to finish this task.

“You’ve never seen me wield either,” Elrond answered.

“You should’ve just kept charging, Elrond,” Galadriel whispered.

“If she speaks again, cut out her tongue,” Adar looked up at Glûg and the Orc approached her to put his curved blade to her neck as other Orcs growled and Elrond moved uncomfortably. “Sauron is my enemy as much as yours,” Adar addressed him again. “Give me what I need to defeat him and let us all be rid of him.”

“Is it not you that has done his bidding by laying siege to Eregion?” Elrond asked angrily.

“Eregion has fallen into shadow,” you interrupted them and Elrond looked up at you, a little surprised. Perhaps he was surprised to see that you were allowed to speak. “It belongs to The Deceiver now, as does every Elf within its walls,” you informed him and calling Sauron such a name rolled off your tongue with a bit of satisfaction.

But also guilt. Again.

“The Deceiver does not work alone,” Elrond looked up at you and your heart stopped beating for a moment as you blinked your eyes slowly, trying to remain calm. “You two have helped him like the fools that you are,” he spat out and you sighed out of relief.

“You cannot save Eregion now, it is a lost cause,” Adar told Elrond. “You can save Galadriel,” he looked behind to stare at her with Glûg still pressing his blade to her throat. “It is an earnest offer,” Adar added. “I suggest you take it and leave Sauron to me.”

He stood up and approached Elrond very slowly while looking at him carefully.

“You have the beauty of your foremother, Melian of the Valar,” he pointed out and shook his head. “If even a fragment of her wisdom is in your veins, you must know you cannot defeat me in battle. I will outmanoeuvre you, my forces outfight yours, and you will fall.”

“Not before I have painted the sands of the Glanduin black with the blood of your kin,” Elrond stood up to face Adar as his face winced in anger.

Glûg growled behind you and you shushed him, softly.

“Easy, my dear,” you addressed him, “it is nothing but the noble and pure Elves showing their hypocrisy once again. Oh, how glad I am to not be their kin any longer,” you looked deep into Elrond’s eyes.

Of course, technically you were. You would always be, no matter how many people would start calling you an Uruk. But in their eyes, you were no longer a part of the family and they would never accept you. Therefore, you were not their kin.

“Our children have endured cruelties your bravest couldn’t bear to hear spoken aloud,” Adar whispered to Elrond and you felt a shiver go down your spine when he called the Orcs your children.

Your children. Well, you had thought of it before, that in some way they were like step-children to you. But you had never expected him to say it out loud, especially in a moment like this; facing the enemy and making a statement to the outside world.

Your children. Another responsibility being put onto your shoulders. He had been right when he had told you that the power was a burden and him sharing it with you was not a gift – it was a curse. Being the Lord Father of the Orcs was yet another burden and now he wanted you to carry it with him. Like an equal he treated you as. Because there were downsides to being an equal to someone as powerful as well. If you were still as naive as before, you would think that Sauron had been simply protecting you from the burdens whenever he had been keeping you away from all the big things.

Your children. How could you betray them now? How could you lead them to death and slavery? 

“Are you prepared to spend their lives so freely, Adar?” Elrond asked your husband, looking at him only but his words felt like knives stabbing your heart and creating a bleeding, open wound. “Are they?” Elrond asked, addressing the Orcs standing next to you.

You could feel their uneasiness and Glûg even lowered his blade from Galadriel’s throat. You nearly wanted to point out to Elrond that he was unwillingly following Sauron’s scheme at the moment, too; turning the Orcs against their Lord Father.

And you knew his question was a difficult one for your husband, because he didn’t answer it. He changed the subject instead.

“The Ring for Galadriel’s life. What is it to be?” He asked.

Elrond looked down and walked past Adar to watch Galadriel’s face. She was crying silent tears and in that moment, you nearly felt sorry for her.

“Ask me on the field,” Elrond turned around to face your husband again, “when the neck with a blade against is yours.”

The Orcs snarled and you snorted at his words, however your mockery was of a nervous kind and you could see that Adar was not happy with this outcome.

Despite his rotten and dark soul, you knew that he truly hoped to form some sort of alliance with the Elves for this battle. Deep within his soul, he hoped to get rid of Sauron and to prove to the Elves that his darkness was of a different kind than the Dark Lord’s. He hoped that in the end, the Elves would let the Orcs go back to Mordor in peace.

Even a man like Adar could be naive sometimes.

You approached him because your heart ached for him, especially at the sight of his expression.

“Very well,” he looked at Elrond’s face. “I will meet you there… with her head on a pike,” he threatened and you held his hand gently with your soft ones.

Elrond looked down at your joined fingers for a brief moment and then he stared intensely into your husband’s eyes.

“If that is to be the way of things, I should like to bid her farewell,” he said.

Adar nodded slightly but he looked over his shoulder to lay his eyes upon Glûg to make sure.

“He’s unarmed,” Glûg said, therefore Adar nodded at Elrond and Glûg walked away from Galadriel.

You squeezed Adar’s hand tighter and stood in front of him, blocking his view and trying to distract his uneasy mind with yourself even though it felt treacherous since you were the very viper causing his demise.

“How strange is the way that the Elves love,” you whispered to him. “They would truly sacrifice people the most dear to them for their ideas,” you pointed out, bringing up the situation with Arondir and his human lover.

It felt now as if it had taken place in another lifetime.

Adar did not say anything to that and he kept watching Elrond carefully over your shoulder, which made you look down nervously as you fidgeted with his fingers; your wedding rings rubbing against each other and shimmering slightly in the dim light.

When Elrond – surprisingly – kissed Galadriel, everyone looked away, including the Orcs and most certainly your husband. You wondered about the nature of Elrond’s relationship with Galadirel but you did not care enough to actually ask about it or stare at them.

At least now Adar looked down at you and you lifted your eyes up to meet his gaze.

“Would you sacrifice me if it meant defeating Sauron?” You asked and gods only knew why because you truly did not want to know.

Adar cracked a sad smile and raised his free hand to caress your cheeks with his fingertips as he often did.

“I would find a way around,” he whispered.

“If there would be none,” you insisted.

“Then you know that I would have to,” he breathed out and you could see the pain and guilt in his eyes but his words felt like a punch.

You let go of his hand and moved away. That was also the moment when Elrond walked out of the tent in a hurry, calling for his friend to follow him. When they left, you walked out as well but you took the opposite turn to disappear inside the forest and go to your new favourite spot where the fallen tree was.

You sat on the grass with your back pressed to it as you took a deep breath in. And in that moment of weakness, you called out for Sauron once more with your mind and heart, risking him penetrating your soul and seeing your betrayal. But, as usual, he did not answer your call even though he was so close.

You had admitted to Galadriel that you loved your husband and on the same day he had said such a thing? Perhaps you still were a naive fool like you had been with Sauron.

But could you really be angry at him for answering that when you were the one deceiving him?

Your train of thoughts was interrupted by Adar himself who had followed you. He sighed at the sight of you and you wiped your tears quickly, hating to be seen crying for such a reason.

“I knew I’d find you here,” he admitted and offered you his hand to help you stand up but you ignored him, looking away. Adar rolled his eyes slightly and crouched down to be able to face you while he forced you to look back at him by grabbing your chin. “What does it matter to you anyway?” He asked. “Do you truly care about what I feel towards you?”

“Of course I do,” your eyes widened at his words. “You are all I have, Adar. You made sure of that, killing my father, turning my mother against me and destroying my home,” you reminded him.

“And how can you care after all of that?” He wondered out loud with a puzzled expression.

“You just cannot believe I could ever love you because you think of yourself as unworthy of it but what you believe does not mean nor can change anything,” you confessed, a little nervously.

He froze at your words and took his hand away from you as if you were made of fire. You kept looking at his face and crying silent tears – humiliation after confessing your feelings, guilt for being Sauron’s lover and pity for all the suffering the man in front of you had been through; all mixed together.

“I am a spirit much darker than you think, husband. It is me who is unworthy of you,” you dared to reveal.

“Do not speak such absurdities!” He got angry a little and looked away. After calming down, he laid his eyes back on your face and hesitated for a moment.

He opened his mouth to say something but the words were apparently too heavy to say them out loud and you understood that. But he did not leave you without any reply, however. His hands cupped your cheeks delicately and he leaned in to join your lips together in a kiss so soft and loving like none of your kisses that had ever been shared before.

With trembling hands, you cupped his scarred face, too, and deepened the kiss as more and more tears streamed down your cheeks.

And then… a glimpse. An odd tug at your heart, a short vision of Lord Celebrimbor’s forge, a flickering feeling causing shivers go down your body. Sauron had answered your call with delay and had made an attempt to reach you but what he had seen only caused him to retreat in a hurry and blind rage.

Adar sensed your sudden uneasiness and broke the kiss, moving away slightly to study your face carefully with his worried eyes.

“Are you quite alright, my love?” Adar asked you, addressing you in the Quenya language. Your heart clenched inside your chest at those words while you kept caressing his face with your thumbs.

“I will be after the battle,” you whispered. “Win it, so we can go home.”

MASTERLIST

[psychesalcove]

Can I please get ֶָ֢ "wait, don't pull away...not yet," with Percy Jackson for the event.

Take your time and thank youu~

✧.* percy jackson x gn reader

part of psyches, ' in memory of those who chose the sea' event !

-> want to participate in the event?

— my posts are completely race and body type friendly (unless stated in title) so no descriptive words here of someone's skin tone or body shape!! feel free to interact:)

an: just realized I hadn't wrote a an for my other event posts, but I loved writing every story so ty for requesting!! anyways, this is a rlly cute prompt with percy (but let's be fr this guy is always cute in some way lmao)

you placed your bowl into the sink of Sally's and Paul's apartment, attempting not to make much ruckus with the other dishes in the sink. you felt percy come up behind you, him alerting you of his presence by placing a gental hand on the small of your back. "hey you," he mumbled lightly, resting his head on your shoulder.

"hi hon," you replied, eyes roaming over the dishes from the wonderfully cooked meal sally made earlier. "d'you want me to do the dishes? it's the least i can do," you asked, feeling bad and not wanting sally to do dishes after cooking.

percy shook his head and breathed out a chuckle. "you don't need to, baby. mom n paul have a system set up: if she cooks he cleans, vise versa." he explained, hands now around your waist.

you hummed lightly in thought. "sounds like a good system," you said, turning around so your face was practically shoved into percys' chest. "they remind me a lot of my parents," you mused.

you felt percy tilt his head to the side. "yeah?" he asked, brining his face down to press a kiss to your hairline. "how?" he asked; tone filled with love and warmth.

"i guess, just how they act around eachother," you mused. "like each other is all they need in the world," you countined, putting your ear over where his heart was and listened to the steady beats.

"they are pretty cute, aren't they?" he says more like a statement rather than a question. "y'know, sally said that when she first saw us together, we reminded her of her and paul," he countined, smiling fondly at the memory.

"really?" you asked, one of your hands rubbing slow circles on percys back.

percy hummed. "yeah," before he could say anything else, sallys voice cut through the peaceful aura that had been created in the kitchen; her asking if the two of you were ready to watch a movie.

you breathed out a small laugh, and you shouted back to her, saying you could be in the living room in a minute. you made a motion to leave the embrace, but percy had other thoughts. "wait, don't pull away..not yet," he mumbled as he pressed yet another kiss into your hairline.

"perce, the movie is probably ready to play," you laughed as he only pulled you closer to him.

"we can make popcorn in here," he said, removing one arm from around you; but keeping the other arm securely around your waist. he reached up into the cabins and quickly grabbed a bag of microwave popcorn.

"mom! we're making popcorn, d'you n paul want a bag?"

[cloudinthesky444]

At this point, it’s clear that Sauron is in love with Galadriel, and he knows it’s not one-sided. In the show, the feelings and interactions between the protagonists (specifically Sauron and Galadriel) are portrayed metaphorically, and it’s obvious that the directors do this on purpose to avoid angering the lorebros who seem to get upset at the idea of shipping Sauron and Galadriel and call the show an insult to Tolkien 😱😱

But anyway, that’s not what I wanted to talk about. When you watch the show and see the interactions between Sauron and Galadriel, you find yourself wondering, in the midst of all this chaos, why it seems to work so well and yet always ends up falling apart. If it’s not Sauron who ruins it, then it’s Galadriel. You know what I mean? The answer is that they attract and repel each other, and if there weren’t so many feelings and suppressed anger involved—stemming not just from past events in their lives (like Galadriel’s grief over her brother’s death or Adar’s betrayal of Sauron, which we know truly hurt him)—these past emotions mixed with their current ones create a brutal phenomenon of confusion. On one hand, Sauron doesn’t understand why Galadriel constantly rejects him. He says things like, “I see you; I know what you desire,” because he does know—but he doesn’t get why, despite their similarities, Galadriel keeps pushing him away. In the show, this is framed as a logical decision, with Galadriel rejecting him because Sauron sees her as a mere tool. And yes, in part, that’s true, but it’s also not the whole story. For me, the Sauron in the show and his desire to “use” Galadriel comes from the same trust and companionship I explained in a previous post. Sauron’s thought process about Galadriel is: “Nothing is free. You used me to achieve your redemption, so why can’t I use you now?” This extremist mindset, combined with his attachment and devotion to Galadriel, ends up manifesting in a VERY toxic way. And yes, maybe Sauron manipulates Galadriel and always feels the need to do so, but unlike his other victims, he shows a “human” side with her. Most of the times he acts passive or even affectionate in Season 2, it’s because he wants something. He can’t help but associate his surroundings with Galadriel and with people in general—he doesn’t like being touched, and when he does it voluntarily, you can tell how fake it is and that he’s only doing it because it’s the most convenient moment. This behavior, in my interpretation, breaks with Galadriel. With her, he lets his guard down, which we see in the fight scene where Galadriel attacks him, and he looks genuinely surprised (I even made a meme of that scene, LOL).

Then he tells her, “My desire is not to harm you,” and he’s right—he doesn’t want to hurt Galadriel. He dodges her blows for a long time, and that’s not like him. He’s usually ruthless and enjoys killing his victims when they least expect it 💩🙏🏼

Anyway, he dodged Galadriel’s strikes and turned a deaf ear until she brought up a topic she should’ve never touched: Sauron’s feelings. And well, that wasn’t a good idea, because her rejection drove the man back into satanism 💀

In the end, something they both share is self-deception. This self-deception is very persistent in Sauron and opportunistically manifests in Galadriel. But unlike him, she eventually accepts the consequences of her decisions, while Sauron doesn’t care at all.This same self-deception is what’s leading young Galadriel to ruin. Her inability to acknowledge the feelings and desires she once had for Halbrand surfaced when she realized he was Sauron, mixing with past emotions and events (her brother’s death and her hatred for Sauron). These two things combined altered Galadriel’s mental state, leaving her just as affected as Sauron and, as a result, expressing her hatred by trying to impale him with a sword. The reason for this? She no longer saw Halbrand in him. To her, he was now a completely different person in both body and soul. That’s why she doesn’t hesitate to attack him.

This shocks Sauron because he believes she still sees him the same way, but she doesn’t. He’s like, “Why did you do that, bestie? It’s me!!” This stops briefly when she sees an image of Halbrand. She immediately calms down, lowers her sword, and becomes passive—but then realizes the truth and attacks him again.

And well, you know, it’s sad.

The two are so similar, but they can’t understand each other when they face off. It’s terrible when two people deceive themselves—it always ends in destruction. Maybe in another reality, things could have been different, but I doubt it. They met at difficult times in their lives, which later manifested in pain and suffering, causing them frustration and confusion. But I believe this is simply part of destiny, and everything happens for a reason. This whole confrontation only serves to forge the Sauron and Galadriel we see in the future. By the time this is over, I’ll be devastated.

[mint-8]

Undertale - Platonic Yandere Toriel

Toriel has had a rough life. It started sweet, at least. Married the love of her life and becoming the ruler of the Underground alongside Asgore, and had her first born, Asriel. Only for a couple years later to have met her second child, the fallen human, Chara. Life in the Underground was good, working alongside her husband to keep monsterkind happy and hopeful. It was tough work, but seeing the smiles of her people made it all worthy for her. And yet, it was all taken away from her claws when Chara fell sick. Asriel, devastated by such an event, absorbed Chara’s soul and left the underground. Only to end up dead from his injuries from the human village, Chara’s village.

Toriel, overtaken by grief, left Asgore the moment he installed the new law for the Underground. For all humans to be killed and their souls to be used as the keys necessary to break the magical barrier and free monsterkind.

Toriel lived a calm yet solitary life in the Ruins. Even though she had the company of fellow monsters who stayed behind with her, plus the fun jokes for the unknown voice from outside the Ruins, she was still consumed by the loneliness and isolation. Eventually you run out of conversation topics with those around you, reading the same books over and over again becomes tiring and even the funny banter between her anonymous friend has become stale.

And yet, one day, a new human fell down Mt. Ebott. And another, and another, and another. Every child that fell was protected and taking care of by her, with all the love and warmth she once gave to Asriel, Chara and her subjects. But despite all her efforts, all of them left. They left the ruins, her home. They left her. Until a new human fell down.

- Yandere Toriel whose original intention was to protect you and teach you the ways of the Underground, just like any other human child that has fallen before. Yet, you seemed a bit different.

- You, who was so patient and sweet to Toriel. You would always listen to everything she said and would share her interests in reading, cooking, snails and jokes! Accompanying her in these activities and eating her special pie recipe!

- You, who brought a new light to the fellow monsters in the Ruins, running around and playing games with the Froggits, having conversations with the rocks, comforting and making the Whimsums smile, bantering with the Looxs, having picnics with the Vegetoids, hanging out with the Migosp (and giving their personal space when they needed), waiting for the Mice to exit their home, listening to music and spending time with Napstablook, conversing with the Dummy (although they stay silent) and with the spiders from the Bake Sale (plus buying some sweets from them, as well)!

- Yandere Toriel who realizes that she can’t let you go. You are the reason why the ruins are so lively! She, alongside the other monsters, haven’t felt this happy in so long! Thus, one night, when you are resting in your bedroom, Toriel and the other residents of the Ruins have a chat and reach a conclusion. All the other monsters agree with her, she must destroy the entrance so you’ll stay forever.

- Yandere Toriel who convinces you to stay the entire day outside of Home and hang out with the other monsters! All of them have tons of things to do today, won’t you play with them? Ruins’s monsters who insist on you staying outside Home, and not to worry about whatever Toriel is occupied with!

- Sweet, adorable you that doesn’t realize what’s happening until a huge explosion is heard deeper within the Ruins, near Home! Silly human child who runs towards Home to make sure Toriel is safe and sound, and that no other monsters got hurt in the process! Little you who finds Toriel deep in the basement, with the once pristine door that lead to the outside, completely destroyed with rocks covering the entrance.

- Yandere Toriel who finally looks at you after giving you her back. She is smiling, a grin so wide it makes you shiver. She gets close to you, and even though you have the instinct to back away, you let her hug you tightly. After a few moments of silence, she finally whispers “Now we will be together forever, my child. Mommy and the others will look after you, no need to be afraid”

- Yandere Toriel who will host a party at Home where everyone is invited, to commemorate such a happy occasion! Their human will stay with them forever, they’ll bring them happiness for years to come!

[drdemonprince]

i was on NPR talking about Autism shit two weeks ago, and i have the book sales figures from that week and that national media appearance had.... absolutely zero relationship to sales. on the typical week these days, 1,400 to 1,500 copies of Unmasking Autism will sell. The week that I was on NPR there was a slight dip; only about 1,300 books were sold.

i have done a lot of press for my books. For Laziness Does Not Exist I did easily a 100 damn podcasts and radio shows and newspapers and excerpts in magazines. none of it corresponded to a noticeable bump in sales. the biggest "get" my publicist found for my latest book was the Glennon Doyle show, a booking she and her team celebrated and then spent months clamboring excitedly for... it, too, had no obvious relationship to sales.

Unmasking Autism became a bestseller because some other guy made a tiktok about it, and then a bunch of tiktokkers made videos about it too. all on their own. without any prodding from me, or any relationship to me. it was completely organic, passionate, and sincere, and rooted in the book's true merits and usefulness to other people, and that's why it inspired lots of sales. and continues to more than a year and a half later. all the press I did for Unmasking Autism prior to the release of that tiktok did relatively far less. NPR, Goop, the LA Times, Lit Hub, Jacobin, Huffpo, the New York Times, the Financial Times, MSNBC, Business Insider. Didn't matter. at least not much. so why do i bother?

publishers really ride your ass trying to make you give lots of interviews and show up for lots of events but it's all based on the worship of traditional media and magical thinking that it will somehow convert listeners into buyers. and that's just not how it works. the truth is 95% of books never sell more than 5,000 copies, and most people don't buy books or read them. i love reading but i dont think this is itself some terrible loss, as most books are padded-out commodities made for sale more than a work of true artistic passion or scholarly merit, and sometimes listening to a 90 minute interview with an author tells you the bulk of what you need to know.

it's freeing to know that the effort i put into getting my books out into the world have almost zero relationship to the books' success. marketing just does not work. it's a relief. unmasking autism did fabulously because it's actually both good and useful. laziness has had a long life span because it speaks to real problems in people's lives and gives them a message they are desperate to hear. but no amount of thirsty ass online shilling will make somebody realize that and it's maddening to try. you just gotta focus on doing good work, work that you enjoy making or need to make and that you feel good about, let things flop if theyre gonna flop, and keep on living your life.

which is all good news because i really do hate a lot of these fucking interviews. how can i stomach being on npr or in the atlantic or whatever these days given how complicit nearly all major media outlets are in justifying this genocide. like who fuckin cares about them, who wants their approval. who needs it. it's of no value

[ncillary]

Self Aware AU (Xavier)

Summary: You have the lowest Affinity with Xavier. The reason is because you feel bad for the Queen MC and vow to play only the main story for his path so that you can find a way to return him to Queen MC safe, sound and happy end.

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

Masterlist Self Aware AU

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

| 1 [current] | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

"Why you keep staring at your phone with that dull face?" Your friend asked.

"Huh? Oh? Nothing-"

"That otome game again?" Your friend perked up knowingly.

You nodded. Your friend gestured for you to just let out of what's on your mind. You sighed. It begun.

"I just... feel bad that I always stalled the Affinity progress with Xavier. I kinda need him for Battle and not that I don't enjoy the time with him. But... he.. I want a happy ending for him."

"Isn't being with you-"

"MC"

"-sigh- Isn't being with MC, still means YOUUU, means that you achieved it? It's the core of every otome game, right?"

"I get that. But! He has someone. The true one. Queen MC. THAT'S where HE belongs. I'll return him to her. No bargain or ANY sacrifice mambo jambo. I'll build Ulruru just for their happiness. I swear."

"It's just a game. You just follow the story. If the developer did it any other way than you are forced to follow anyway. Not that you can exactly do anything about the story progress."

"Yeah... Knew that. Doesn't mean that it's not my deepest wish for Xavier and Queen MC to be happy together. My MC was made to support in any way possible."

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

"Oh. A new event! Nice... Huh? Ohhhh no no no no no... First kiss! Arghhh... But the storyline is nice. Haa... ... ... bye Xavier, hope we can enjoy another fluffy limited 5* withOUT the heavy lover-indication. My MC is just your close companion." You smile before closing the game.

The LI assigned there at the time faded. A new blurry began to form until it revealed Xavier. Eyes closing as the pixels reform him to a complete 3D appearance. Fluttering open, he stared at the door, feeling the empty cafe.

"I'm here. Please see me. I want to see you more."

He slowly sat on the sofa and gradually fell asleep.

--------&&&&&&&--------&&&&&--------&&&&&----

Giggling. Feeling shaky slightly.

He stirred a bit.

Hushed voice, soothing, "Oh shoot. Sorry Xavier. Maybe I should turn off the gyro setting."

He blinked quickly and looked up. There she is. The MC. Unmoving. He quickly got up. Trying to step as close as he can to her but his feet could only settle a bit far from her unless he prompted the correct dialogue that let him get a breath away from the MC. He knew she was a proxy for the person behind the dark screen. Oh how he wished she would just reveal her face to him. But it's a good thing he at least got to hear your voice. The sound he wanted to touch the most everyday.

"Wow. You never get bored wearing that sweater. Guess it's that comfortable, huh. I get it. I hope you change to a better attire once the heat gets too much."

You're there. He can activate the prompt now.

"This is the Second Law of Cosmic Attraction."

He walked closer. Hearts thumping. Happy to be able to get closer to you. But his coded face wouldn't show how much he was actually grinning with glee.

"We'll meet those we yearn for again. No matter how long it takes."

His feet automatically dragged him back too soon for his liking.

"Hahahahaha... You and your Cosmic Law."

She proceeded to claim the Stamina for the morning. Quickly closing the game before he could prompt another dialogue.

His rigidness turned off. He could only move freely when you're not logging in.

"Dang. I should be faster next time. I hope I can force myself out this evening."

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

"Haaa... It's already this late. Glad I have Free Retro this time. Huh? Xavier? This is not your usual appearance time. Oh no... Did our Affinity go up? -tap- -tap- -tap- huuu~ -tap- false alarm. Guess this is one of the rare occurrences. We'll... -yawn- m'nite Xavi-"

"I won't slip away today. I'll stay and chat with you for a while longer."

(Please stay. Please. Please. Please.)

"Hmmm... right... Weekly Plan... Didn't think finish yet. -tap- -tap-"

"When you spend your time with me. I'm spending my time with you."

(YES! YES! Go on! As long as you like!)

"Hmmm... Work... Study... Why can't there be just lounging around? We'll I'm off work. Study is better. Search all those recipes you want, Xavier."

He could hear her faint chuckling laced with tiredness.

"5 minutes-ah..."

He was sitting suddenly with MC in front of him. Studying.

"Oh to heck. 15 minutes it is. I'll just be quick and settle myself in."

He could hear walking. A light thump. Possibly she set the phone on a surface near her. Faucet running. Teeth brushing. Faucet running. Walking again. Switch sound. Lights off probably. Scrunching sound. Bluetooth connection on.

"Easier to hear that 'zwing' sound when it's complete. Let me just... haaa... release the tense of today."

He could hear you relaxing with an occasional pained sound. He got worried.

"Gosh. My shoulder is hurting. Maybe I should restock the pain relief patch tomorrow."

She breathed slowly. Slower. Barely there.

(...Is she...asleep?)

*zwing*

"Woah... I could move. And speak freely. Hahahaha... Your phone's gonna be out of juice soon. Hope you can wake up okay tomorrow."

Silent.

He cleared his throat.

"I can hear you. The real you. I'm real. Real like you. Queen MC is not you. I get it. But I want you. The real you. So please just increase our Affinity so that I can get a better control to reach out to you. I'll try to get to you too... ... ... I... ... like you."

Darkness plunged his consciousness. The battery must've died.

"I'll get to you."

A determined promise.

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

| 1 [current] | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

Masterlist of Self Aware AU

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

[unspeakable-imagination]

Not My Girl || Logan, Wade x reader

Cw: use of alcohol, sad Logan. It's just sad angst. That's it I think. Not proofread.

If you like this, consider tipping to my kofi

My masterlist is here and my requests are open

Logan's time with wade had been eventful, to say the least. Despite how he made it look, he actually enjoyed his time with his found family. It had only been a few days since they'd come home from the whole debacle with the TVA and void, and Wade was sitting, squished against his thigh, completely ignoring the cushions that were free on the other side of the sofa. He was going on and on, and nothing of the topic really caught his attention. Until now.

“I forgot to tell you about my girlfriend. Oh my god,” he gasped. “I haven't told you about.he her. How could I forget to tell you about her?” Logan finally turned his head to acknowledge Wade. “Oh that caught your attention? Didn't think it would after the argument we had about my stripper ex in the Honda.” Wade patted his pockets and grabbed his phone from the pink pajama bottoms. He swiped over the cracked, taped screen and unlocked his phone before he showed Logan the screen.

Logan Felt his heart drop to his stomach as he gazed at your familiar face. He swallowed Thickly and blinked away his surprise before he looked to Wade. “She's beautiful. She- I, What's her name?” He was double checking if you were who he thought he was.

“[Name], isn't it nice? She's a mutant, too. Shes” wade words faded out as Logan stared at the picture. It was really you. Back in his world, before the incident, you were two peas in a pod. Lovers. You'd never made it official, which was Logan's downfall. He never told you how much he loved you and he'd regretted it every day until Wade brought him home. This place was a new start for him, and he used that idealogy to push down every thought he had of you and lock it away in the deepest parts of his mind.

Wade's phone screen timed out and he noticed, putting it on the coffee table.

“Honestly, I Think i want you to meet her. She couldn't come during the party, she was working the night shift.”

“Is she another stripper?” Wade gasped at Logans comment.

“Oh god no,” he clapped his hands together. “She's a teacher at the night college for adults. She helps teach a lot of immigrants seeking citizenship, and when she's not teaching that class, she's teaching kick-boxing to the kids at a dojo just a few miles away.” She sighed and looked off to the side of the room, making some remark about how generous and kind the reader was before he put his attention back on his roommate.

“She hardly gets a day off. I think her first day off is tomorrow. It's been like two weeks.” Logan quirked a brow, suddenly invested in your life here.

“You'll let me meet her tomorrow?” Wade nodded.

“Yeah, I'll find us A cozy place. There is this underground pizza place. Really nice, I'm thinking about that.”he scratched his head.

Logan hadn't had pizza in years. He hadn't seen you in years. He began to wonder. Had you known him in his world? Were you with him in this world before he died? Would you love him the way you used to? He flexed His fingers, fidgeting to relieve his growing anxiety. He bent them down and popped his knuckles. Wade looked down, still talking.

Loagan stood, coming to his senses as Wade slipped off his thigh, falling towards the armrest. “Wait, where are you going?”

“To take a shower, I'm realizing I really, really need one.”

Wade seemed to have forgotten to mention that the pizza place was also a bar. He sat across from him in a booth, a pizza on the way. They were both waiting for your arrival. The bell above the door jingled and Wade's expression lifted. Logan turned, twisting to look at you. You were dressed in a simple pair of black slacks and a pastel yellow button up. You wore dainty silver jewelry and had a black faux leather bag hanging of one shoulder. You waved at Wade, not even seeing Logan behind the booth seats backing. Your face glowed and your eyes twinkled as you slid into the seat next to Wade, giving him a peck against his cheek. You turned your attention to Logan and stretched your arm over the table to shake his hand.

“Logan, Wade's told me so much about you. Truly, you sound like a great friend to him.” He blew a breath he didn't know he was holding ad he shook your hand.

“Wade didn't even mention you till today. He seemed to have forgotten you while we were in the void.” His words were partially mumbles, But you understood him and broke into a fit of laughter. Logan's heart swelled knowing he made you laugh.

“Hey, stop. I didn't forget about her, I was trying to save the universe? Marvel Jesus?” Wade looked offended as he looked to you.

“No, no, That sounds like you.” he watched your hand lay flatly and Wade's chest and he felt his previous Pride deflate. Perhaps you didn't love him like you did in the other world. He watched as you slid you hand over to the other side and leaned over to him, laying your head on his shoulder. “It's okay, pookie,” you said playfully. “I'll love you even if you forget me.”

Logan Felt awkward, like a third wheel, but his momentary bout of disappointment was put to a swift end when a piping pizza dish slid onto the table. It was a sixteen-inch split into three sections, one with pineapple for Wade, a meat-lovers for Logan, and a mushroom, olive, and chicken for you. You jumped off of Wade's chest and your hand flew to a slice of pizza. Logan watched as you hastily took a bite and hum at the taste. You were enthralled with the pizza and already eating, practically inhaling. Wade and Logan each grabbed their own slices, but logan lost himself, chewing at the same pace as you. He felt like it made him just a hair closer to you. it made him believe He was with you, instead of you with wade. Wade, despite his full mouth, was babbling about the day. You looked away from your boyfriend and focused on Logan.

“So you came from Another universe, like ours- but different? What was yours like?” Logan stiffened. Right now the only differences he's been aw To think if, was the fact that you were with him- not Wade. Deadpool didn't even exist where he came from.

“Uh, the world is alot darker,” he said, looking directly at you. “It's less colorful. It's like the life was sucked out of it. Alot of my friends are gone. Alot of pain has been left behind. People are diffrent.” His face turned awkward and his lips pursed as he shifted his gaze away. “It's not something I don't like to talk about.” You nodded, understanding. It seemed like a sore topic for him, so you dropped that topic.

The rest of the night at the pizza bar passed without a hitch. For the most part. Logan had ended up ordering so many beers that the staff had cut him off, even though he wasn't drunk. After that, the three of you returned to Wade's apartment and settled on the sofa, The merc in-between the two of you. Wade laid his head on Logan and you were leaned away from the two, leaning against the armrest in your side, humming as you watched the movie. You had a glass cup in the shape of a can with a bamboo- sealed lid And straw between your thighs, full of soda that you'd been drinking. There was a bowl of peanut butter covered popcorn on the table. Every few minutes Wade would shive his hand for another fistful That he'd fail to offer to logan, and ended up shoving in his own mouth. Loagn wondered if you disliked popcorn here, the same way that you did once In his world. He remembered how you'd whine at just the smell, talking about how bad it was, about how much you hated it.

By the time you'd been getting ready to go, well after the movie ended, you were standing at the door. Wade was wrapping a scarf around your neck and mumbling something to you that made you laugh. Logan sat on the couch, watching you and envying him. You leaned forward on your tiptoes and kissed him. Logan imagined himself there as Wade dipped his head to meet your own kiss, but Logan Felt his stomach churn. When you waved at them both and but them a good night, it took everything in him To not walk out after you. It took everything in him to remind himself that you're not his girl.

Taglist: @kneelforloki @kathieycarrerarosshley @callsign-ember @clawsandbullets

[peppermint-pearl]

Free will !!!

It has come to my attention that I can do literally whatever I want , so here’s a Mouthwashing OC !

Her name's Hope , she's another mechanic intern on the Tulpar (my justification for this is that an internship under Swansea was always part of the plan but Pony ended up saddling him with two--) .

She was in college for aerospace engineering but after tuition prices increased she was forced to drop out and find work , which lead her to the position at Pony Express . So she's decently qualified for the position but she's like . bitter about it because it's a mere shadow of the dreams she once had for it herself .

She acts pretty jaded / tries to be pessimistic about everything because she believes her life is over and she's afraid of further disappointment , but still holds a bit of that same naivety she thinks she stomped out of herself . I think maybe she tries to act a little like Swansea but it doesn't really land the same way because she's got literally none of the life experience to justify how completely over everything she is KASLHFJ - she's like . 'ah yes . kindred spirits' but still gets flustered at making little mistakes in a way that makes it obvious she really just wants to be liked and do a good job .

I think she's most comfortable around Anya partially because she'd be the only other girl on the ship , and partially because Hope sees her as an older woman (older than her at least SDKHJ) still working to achieve her dreams (getting into medical school!) and feels better knowing there's still time for her to do what she wants . Maybe also Hope had an older sister at home Anya reminds her of ? that one's a little up in the air but I'm thinking thoughtfully of it !!

I think she'd also be close with Daisuke because he's her age and she's able to see him more as a peer than an authority like she does everyone else on the ship (and what if they kissed . just a little bit . for my happiness .) . She probably tried very hard not to like him at first due to his general lack of ability with . internship things . but pretty quickly warmed up to him just because of how earnest and well-meaning he is . I think they'd speak to each other in niche pop culture references no one else on the ship knows ASFLHJ

Swansea and her would constantly be insulting each other but in a way that feels familiar if that makes sense ? I think she does get under Swansea's skin a lot but 'at least she can get the job done' . He definitely thinks it's funny to point out little imperfections in her work to get her a little panicked -- like 'ah , you scratched the reflection here , unacceptable . we'll need to throw you into space for this .' and then laugh at the split second Hope actually believes it ALSDJKF.

I think she holds some respect for Curly and Jimmy as authority figures , but would probably feel better being friendly with Curly just because Jimmy is . unfriendly . and horrible KLJHSD

When the crash happens , she probably slips deeper back into the doom spiral she'd been on before - if she thought her life was over before , it's suPER NOT LOOKING BETTER BY THIS POINT ,, Taking a leaf from Swansea's book , she'd probably try getting absolutely blasted off the 3498239478 Dragons Breath bottles they'd been transporting .

As for how she dies , I think . as pathetic as it is . she either drinks too much of the mouthwash or she chokes on her own vomit from it . Which also makes me think that if she was actually in the story she'd be maybe the first to die ? Like it's maybe the least directly violent / most unrelated to the final spiral of events that leads to everyone else's death but it IS also partially a result of negligence and another sign of what's to come . Jimmy would probably have tried to sweep it under the rug , saying it was her own fault , but it super would noT have helped tensions on the ship .

UHH YEAH that's all I have brainstormed , I might do some stuff with her later -- if you got this far thank you for humoring my brainrot ASDFLJH

[rad-batson]

The Robins as RA’s Because I Said So

Credentials: I’m an RA, trust me.

Dick Grayson: The “Cool” RA

His friends told him he’d be great at it so he applied

Holds your hair back when you’re throwing up in the bathroom

Gives life lessons at every opportunity even when you don’t want them

Sees his residents in the hallway and proceeds to talk their ear off

Knocks on your door if he hasn’t seen you in a few days to make sure you’re doing alright

Has the “I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed” face on point

You actually feel bad when he catches you drinking in the halls :(

Jason Todd: The Cool RA

Wanted something to pad his resume so he applied

Will help you hide a body. “Just ask.” You didn’t, but you can’t remember how it came up either

Doesn’t care about the Rules, per se, but he will judge you for lacking common sense

“You know what, Derek? I’m writing you up just for being stupid. You could have at least put it in a paper bag.”

Organizes all of his events last minute, best attendance in the building

One day, he lets it slip that he has a 4.3 GPA

No one believes him until he actually shows them with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face

Tim Drake: The Invisible RA

Didn’t want to go apartment hunting so he applied for the free housing

Do you even have an RA? Does he even live here?

Apparently, he’s like triple-majoring or something, but like…no one knows what for. Or how. (He's really Undecided)

Does the bare minimum, but somehow still excels at his job

Everyone who sees him has a completely different description of what he looks like

One person starts the rumor that he’s a vampire, which is only made worse when someone sees him looking ghostly pale while chugging some weird red drink (Ultra Red Monster) in the middle of the night

Stephanie Brown: The Best Friend RA

One of those people who actually likes living in student housing so she applied

Gossips with everyone

“You didn’t hear this from me but-“ and “What am I, your mother?” are her most common phrases

Will probably get fired just because of how many university secrets she’s spilled

Keeps her door open at all times, her room is super cute too

One of her residents walks in and says, “You won’t believe what my boyfriend did this time!” Stephanie is already popping popcorn.

Will let you get away with shit if you make a good case for yourself

Damian Wayne: The Try-Hard RA

It’s a tradition in his family now, and he takes those very seriously, so he applied

A troublemaker’s worst nightmare

He will catch you drinking. No one knows how. Even his boss thinks it’s suspicious.

Seconds from a mental breakdown at all times of the day

Absolutely livid when the event he spent the least amount of effort on gets the best attendance (He just brought all of his art supplies to the lounge and taught people how to draw)

Writes incident reports like they’re addressed to the Pentagon

A resident comes to his door crying because her grandmother passed away, and Damian completely blanks on what to do so he lets her into his room and gives her a really long hug while she calms down, then he sits her down and lets her vent for an hour. A week later, she comes back and thanks him for being there when she needed it. It sticks with him for years.

[the-astral-sea]

Confessions

Hello! This is my first Gale fic, I haven’t written anything in a long time so it may be a little rusty but I hope you enjoy!

Gale x (resist) The Dark Urge. Fem reader. Angsty vibes that turn into cute vibes. This is set after you try to savage Gale in the night.

You awoke from your trance-like sleep, head pounding and wrists burning from the thick rope that was used to restrict you. Memories of the night pierce into your skull, causing your heart to drop and stomach to churn. “I’m so sorry” you whisper, refusing to look up at Gale, who was standing tall in front of you.

“Welcome back to the land of the lucid. Where explanations are owed, if you don’t mind” he sighs, and through your peripheral you can see he is holding a knife. You lift your chin up, eyes still half lidded and refusing to meet his gaze, expecting him to slit your throat there and then. There would be no objection on your part. This urge was too much, it haunted your every step, your every breath, every thought was tainted by the possibility of this thing, this creature, lashing out and taking what little you held dear straight to the Hells. You closed your eyes fully now, but the icy metal never touched your skin - only the restraints still scratching against your wrists.

“I hinted at these the urges before and you acted like it wasn’t a big deal. There’s something inside of me that screams bloody murder, Gale. I’m terrified of losing control, I almost lost myself completely tonight” your voice is quiet and composed, but your inside feel like they’re on fire, you’re struggling to choke down the acidic bile threatening to force it’s way out of your stomach and onto the floor. You don’t even wait for him to respond, you just walk away in shame, throwing your bonds into the crackling fire. A mixture of embarrassment, horror and guilt weighing heavily on you. He sighs loudly behind you but you do not turn around, you just continue your short journey back to your tent for some sleep.

Morning came around as it always does, though it was hard to tell exactly when morning was in the shadow cursed lands. “Is she still asleep?” Karlach enquired, her voice waking you from outside of your tent, “It would appear so. She’s probably too ashamed to face us right now, but give it time” Shadowheart replied, her voice kind and understanding - as it often was since the two of you had gotten closer. “I get she’s working through some mega dark shit, man. But I need her out there with us today, she’s bigger than whatever this… thing… is, I can’t have my favourite witch giving up now”. The response brought a flicker of a smile to your face, though it didn’t last long as you recalled the events of last night and the regretful way in which you’d handled things after. Still, Karlach was right. The least you could do was join them on their perils today to try and redeem yourself. Groggily and wearily, you opened up the tent, stepping outside with shaking legs and a rare lack of grace.

“Well, if it isn’t my favourite little killer! I’ve seen you take down all sorts of things, what a shame you couldn’t finish the job with Gale” Astarion laughed, causing Gale to shove him in what you assumed was a half-playful, half-serious reaction. “I’d rather not talk about this right now. All I can say is that I’m sorry, I would never, ever, harm any of you out of my own free will”. Gale rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath at this statement, his gaze not once meeting yours as he prepared breakfast. You didn’t expect to get a plate, but even in his anger Gale was never anything but Gale: kind and generous, even when it was understandable to be the complete opposite. He handed you a portion of bread and cheese, his eyes darting around to look at anything but you. “Thankyou. And once again, I’m so sorry, Gale”. He cringed at the words, looking as if you’d just kicked him in the chest with your apology, still refusing to see you. All you could do was eat in silence whilst keeping a respectful distance before getting changed, grabbing your staff and preparing to head out into the world with Karlach, Gale and Astarion by your side.

The first half of the morning was spent searching for information about Ketheric, fighting off the odd shadow or three. Admittedly you were off your game, your spells only hitting their targets half of the time. You were usually prideful in your accuracy and skill. “Come on Solider! That ugly bastard nearly got me good there” Karlach shouted, finishing off a shadow wraith after your fireball flew straight past it’s head. “Please, I was nowhere near you darling” Astarion chortled, causing you to laugh for the first time in what felt like forever. His sense of humour and utter disregard for all things serious was a welcomed energy on days like this. Gale, however, was less than amused. He marched right up to you and grabbed your wrist, “we’ll be back in a minute” he stated, dragging you away from the others before you could object and into an abandoned camp a little further up.

“What in the world is going on with you? You’re flailing around like a headless chicken out there. I understand that you’re battling head monsters, but out here we’re fighting literal monsters and frankly you need to get it together, Sorceress. I get that you don’t like me, and that your urge probably told you to get me out of the way. But you like Karlach and she almost died at the hands of your clumsiness a second ago. I can’t believe yo-“ you cut him off before he could finish his scolding, “what do you mean I don’t like you?” your voice came out louder and more pained than you’d anticipated, tears welling up in your eyes as you continued, “is that seriously what you believe?”.

“Well, yes. Of course I believe that or I wouldn’t have said it, would I? I see the difference in the way you talk to me, compared to - I don’t know - Astarion for example. You’re quieter. More reserved. It couldn’t be more obvious” his eyes finally met yours, the deep sadness within them palpable. You blink away your tears, swallowing loudly in order to contain the urge to cry. You’d been on the road with Gale for a while now and in that time you’d fallen deeply in love with his charm, skill, wit and appearance. One look from him was enough to turn you into a blushing, babbling school girl. He had completely misread your actions. You treated him differently because you actually cared about what he thought of you, and it was frightening. You were more ‘quiet and reserved’ because he made your brain transform to mush. Half of the time when he spoke, you couldn’t even focus on his words, just the way his hair always seemed to remain perfectly soft despite the sweat and dirt from being on the road. The way his eyes sparkled when he got excited. The way his lips turned to smile when he greeted you, and how they always looked so inviting.

“Gale… I tried to kill you because I care about you more than I care about anyone else here. More than I care about anyone else in general, actually. The dark urge came to me in the night, talking about how I was going soft, mocking me for resisting my nature for too long. It wants to cause me pain, and what better way to achieve that than by forcing me to hurt you?” Your words came out stuttered and choked, the confession making you want to sink into the floor, anticipating a rejection that would hurt entirely too much.

The rejection never came.

Instead, his gaze softened, as if he finally understood why you spoke to him the most often but always said the least. His lips curved into that familiar coy smile that you loved so much. “I’m flattered?” His voice was laced with relief, but uncertainty lingered in his gaze. “You should be. I don’t think I’ve ever let myself be this vulnerable, certainly not as far as I can remember, at least” he pursed his lips together, as if trying not to beam at your words or let himself show too much emotion. You couldn’t really tell. “I’d understand if you were scared of me, I fear I have done things most mortals would only have nightmares about”. The words fell from your lips solemnly; admitting your nature was no easy feat, especially when you’d done everything in your power to go against it for so many weeks. In a way it felt like a soul crushing weight had been lifted, to finally speak your true thoughts and emotions. But it was tough. You try to read him, his body tense and his eyes wide, but there was a cautious smile on his face.

After what felt like an eternity, he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss had taken you by surprise and you accidentally bit his lip, then stood on his foot, as you pulled away apologising. Your mind had been destroyed not too long ago, so this was basically your second ‘first kiss’. You’d most definitely had lovers in the past but you couldn’t remember their faces, couldn’t remember their names or recall a single detail about any moment you may have shared with anyone before. There was no wonder you reacted so poorly to this sudden display of affection - but it was not unwelcome. “Well, it’s not the first time you’ve tried to bite me” he chuckled, moving his hand to brush through his hair as he looked at the floor, clearly uncertain on if he’d just made things awkward and completely blown his chance. He was only laughing about it to try and ease the tension. Refusing the let the moment pass, you pulled him into another kiss, this time deep and slow as he moaned into your mouth upon contact. As if by instinct, he placed his hands firmly on your hips, his fingers digging into you as your own ran through his hair. It felt so natural, like you’d known each other in every lifetime. Your mouths moved in perfect synchronicity, drinking one another in. The taste of wine still lingered on his lips from the swig he took at breakfast.

Once the kiss finally broke, his entire aura had shifted. There was no sign of discomfort, no sign of uncertainty, he actually seemed to stand taller, more confident, more self assured. He kissed your forehead sweetly: an action that made you weak in the knees. A walking bomb and a blood thirsty fool was an unlikely pairing, a dangerous one, even. Yet you never felt so at peace, so sure that you were on the right path to redemption with him by your side. “Thank you for hearing me out. I promise I will not let you down” you spoke every word with purpose, fully intent on keeping your promise. Instead of responding with words, he simply moved in for another kiss. This time it was hungry, it felt like weeks of pent up emotions pouring out of him, out of both of you. He picked you up and sat you down on a half collapsed wall, deepening the kiss eagerly. Any remaining doubts and nerves that usually ate away at you slipped into oblivion. You broke apart from the kiss feeling triumphant. Worthy. Accepted. The urge had been a black cloud hovering over your head for so long, poisoning your confidence and making you feel like happiness was lightyears away from where you stood. Now it was all out in the open, and Gale seemingly accepted you, you had never been so sure of anything or anyone in your life. You were on the right path. A good path.

“Whatever burdens you, I will stop at nothing to see it vanquished” the words were like honey dripping from his tongue, his eyes dark and determined. “I have loved you since the night I told you of my condition. You never questioned it, never once faltered or made me feel less than, you just helped. I will be by your side to do the same” he never once broke eye contact, never even blinked as he made his vow. You would’ve gotten on your knees there and then had Karlach not come to check on you.

“I see you two made up” her booming voice cut through the sexual tension as she approached, “we need to head back out, there’s plenty of time to finishh…” she paused for a moment, taking in the sight with a grin, causing you to realise that Gale was still holding you close, his hands now resting happily on your butt, “finish whatever… this is… later. Fucking hell guys, it’s about time”.

It was about time indeed.