#at least not with the Dark Enchantress storyline

[quibbs126]

Randomly I was thinking of back when the White Lily update was first being teased and people were thinking that with the release of the last Ancient the story would be ending soon

And while this isn’t about that, it’s making me think about how with the Beasts, the main story has been stretched out even longer

I mean yeah, the story wasn’t going to wrap up soon after White Lily’s release, but it’s kind of clear to me that the Beasts are kind of padding

But I mean, to be honest, I don’t feel like the main story of Dark Enchantress wrapping up, whenever we get to that point, should mean the end of Cookie Run Kingdom

Because like, you can have a new main story after the Dark Enchantress one wraps up. Introduce a new world threatening villain to the story so that the game can continue and have a new big thing. It doesn’t seem too difficult from where I sit (though I’m also not a game designer or writer, so I can’t say for sure)

I’d suggest Longan as a new villain, since they’re very much different from Dark Enchantress while being a similar threat level, and also they wouldn’t really fit in as we know them as an ally to recruit against Dark Enchantress. But at the same time, they’re the main villain of Ovenbreak, so that might be treading reused ground

Now yes, there is the idea that plenty of people would leave the game after the Dark Enchantress story is over, since they’ve seen what they wanted to see reach its conclusion. But also at the same time, as it is now, people will leave because with the padding some will realize that they’ll never get the ending they want, at least not for a long time, and move on to greener pastures. And frankly I feel like the former is the better option, since at least there your players have trust that you’ll actually resolve your stories and not stretch them out for as long as possible

And also it’s a game that’s constantly updating, you don’t need to just stick to only one main story

But again, I don’t know how game development works, or what the business is like, so what do I know?

[cuppajj]

Summary of the crk livestream of updates here (i don't use twt, so here's a yt link).

According to the post, Ananas is coming with the other dragons after Dark Enchantress. Don't hesitate to include him in your story, I think he'd fit right in lmaooo

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok! So if the dragons are coming after DE (which I’m pretty sure marks the end of Beast Yeast), I’m gonna be reinforcing a bit of a rule here:

Since I don’t want BAAU to have to juggle a bunch of elements that come after it, BAAU is largely going to be paying attention to CRK’s canon up to the final chapter of Beast Yeast. Since characters like the dragons and Timekeeper are releasing presumably after BY is over, they will likely not have a huge role in the AU, without an exception.

However, they can be important characters if it benefits the narrative - for example, bringing in someone like Ananas would benefit Pitaya’s arc in the Dragonberry saga, but someone like Timekeeper would not be relevant to the AU since (at the moment) I’m not interested in bringing in time travel elements. So, Timekeeper’s involvement at most would be a one off scene/chapter that wouldn’t impact the plot that much. This would apply for any other character, crob exclusive or not. If they come after BY, they aren’t relevant unless their presence directly elevates the AU’s storyline.

I’m unsure if I’d include all of the dragons because too many might be overcomplicated, especially someone like Longan who’s likely an entire antagonist in themself. Right now, I’m content with potentially bringing in just one other, and leaving the others’ absences up to the imagination. It could change in the future, but for now, there’s no reason for me to add any more.

Again this is just to have an explanation for eventual questions of where future character A and future character B are in the au. If I were to keep adding everything that comes after BY, BAAU would be way too overcomplicated for my comfort!

But it’s still exciting that we’ll see them in the future! Even though they will likely not be relevant to BAAU, it’s cool to know they’re coming. I do wish we got at least one other dragon before DE though… at least one. I could see Ananas coming before… but whatever

[jellywalker-apocalypse]

is the lily/dark enchantress story line still in the au, just curious

Short Answer : Yea basically

Long Answer : Dark Enchantress is still here! Her storyline follows up to when she was let out of that moonstone in Pure Vanilla Kingdom, but she's hiding out in Beast-Yeast the majority of the AU. It's easier to let the Jellywalkers do the work for her! Plus, they're something her followers can further study and potentially sap Life Energy from.

The sheer distraction and chaos allows her to create a Test Body™️ of sorts for Silent Salt, while much later on, her followers are able to craft Burning Spice either a better puppet or a genuine physical form.

At least that's our idea so far!

[stargazeraldroth]

Hot Take: If Black Pearl Cookie Shouldn’t Be A Legendary Because She’s Not An Elemental, Then Neither Should Timekeeper Cookie

So idk if this opinion is very popular still or anything like that, but I genuinely don’t understand why people have such an issue with Frost Queen Cookie and Black Pearl Cookie being Legendaries? Like I get the whole thing about the Elementals and all, but if being an Elemental Guardian or whatever they’re called is the criteria for being a Legendary, then how do you explain characters like the Dragons, Dark Enchantress Cookie, and Timekeeper Cookie?

Btw this is just a ranting post, it’s not meant to be taken too seriously!!! I’m not trying to offend anyone with this, I’m just tired of people harshly criticizing the new Legendaries in Kingdom and calling them “fillers” when that same logic applies to Ovenbreak’s Legendaries. I feel like Tumblr’s a relatively chill and safe place when it comes to sharing opinions, at least safer and more open-minded than TikTok seems to be, so I thought I’d voice my input here. There’s a TLDR at the end.

At the very least, Frost Queen Cookie has known relevancy to the Elemental Guardians as she’s one herself, she’s just Kingdom-exclusive (and with how many Ovenbreak-exclusive characters there are right now, I feel there’s zero reason to complain about this or use it as an argument). You can argue that the Dragons are something of Elementals themselves, but they’re really just like Beasts of Old or something. I don’t know how applicable this is to Ovenbreak Legendaries, but according to the CRK wiki (and yes I’m aware it’s fandom-run and therefore not 100% reliable in interpretations), Legendaries are defined by their god-like statuses and immense influence over Earthbread. Now, with that in mind, let’s take a look at the Legendaries who aren’t Elementals.

1. The Dragons. The Dragons are listed as Legendaries in Ovenbreak, but they’re given the unique rarity of ‘Dragon’ in Kingdom (which I think is complete bs but that’s not the point). The Dragons themselves aren’t Elementals, at least to my knowledge, they DO however have god-like statuses (just look at Longan. Literally just look at Longan Dragon), immense amounts of power, and have a lot of influence over Earthbread’s history. Therefore, they’re deserving of a Legendary status.

2. Dark Enchantress Cookie. The main antagonist of Kingdom (and possibly Ovenbreak? I haven’t seen much Cookies of Darkness content for that game yet, so I’ll mostly be focusing on CRK). You could potentially argue that her status comes from being the reborn version of White Lily Cookie, but the Ancient Heroes are directly connected to the Elements or anything just because they have Soul Jam. Let’s look at some of Dark Enchantress Cookie’s accomplishments throughout CRK’s storyline so far;

- Unleashed havoc on the Night of the Witches and presumably killed at least some Witches, beings who were known to be incredibly powerful and were worshipped as gods by Cookiekind. This is essentially the Cookie Run equivalent of slaughtering gods.

- Waged a war against just about all of Earthbread, or at least the kingdom run by the Ancients, single-handedly causing one of the biggest tragedies in Earthbread’s history. The Dark Flour War not only brought an entire era to an end, but it completely changed the course of Earthbread. Like, the only reason the Crème Republic exists in the way it does is because of Dark Enchantress Cookie declaring war against everyone. And from the looks of it, we’re going to be getting a Dark Flour War 2 (Electric Boogaloo: The Sequel No One In Earthbread Wanted) in future updates of Kingdom.

- Defeated all five of the Ancient Heroes in a battle. You can argue that she had the Cake Witch with her, but these are the five Ancients who were presumably at their peak state during this battle. Still, you could probably argue that there’s a weird situation with White Lily Cookie in this scene, but even then, that’s four Ancient Heroes who are presumably at their peak state.

I was also gonna bring up how the Soul Jam got shattered/scattered at the climax of the Dark Flour War, but I honestly don’t know if Dark Enchantress Cookie did that or if Pure Vanilla Cookie did that when he sealed her away, so I’m not gonna use that as a point. But regardless, literally the whole Night of the Witches situation and the Dark Flour War makes her one of the most important figures in Earthbread’s history. Dark Enchantress Cookie is a TOP example of a Cookie who deserves the Legendary rarity without being connected to the Elements.

3. Timekeeper Cookie. I don’t know Timekeeper’s canon pronouns off the top of my head, so I’ll be using they/them. Feel free to inform me on those. But anyway, Timekeeper Cookie literally has no connection to the Elements. There isn’t even anything you can argue about this. Their control and mastery over time comes from their Sonic Embroider, which is an invention. It’s not an inherent power or anything. Because in order for Timekeeper Cookie to have a connection to the Elements, Croissant Cookie needs a connection to the Elements. I feel like their status as a Legendary also comes from their role as the Director of the Time Balance Department, and the way Timekeeper SEEMS like a God of Time or something. But they’re not. However, we can’t turn a blind eye to the god-like status and power they do have.

4. Black Pearl Cookie. My god, the amount of times I’ve seen people call Black Pearl a “filler” or “false” Legendary is insane. And the arguments I’ve always seen, or the ones I remember anyway, all boil down to her not being an Elemental. Again, that’s a flimsy argument considering Timekeeper Cookie’s a Legendary without being an Elemental. Black Pearl Cookie at least has some association with an actual element, which is water, being a mermaid and all. Besides, Black Pearl Cookie is literally the subject of a legend in the CRK world, which is what her and Captain Caviar Cookie’s whole update was about. The Black Pearl Islands and Duskgloom Sea, which are like her “kingdom”, can be considered the Bermuda Triangle of the CRK world. We see in the event itself that she’s capable of growing to a gargantuan size and is responsible for sinking countless ships that entered her territory. Something I’ve noticed about the Elementals is that they all have some kind of myth or legend surrounding them, like the City of Wizards being one of the Seven Mysteries of Earthbread (or whatever Wizard Cookie said), the Millennial Tree itself being viewed as a sacred tree of Earthbread, and Frost Queen Cookie being known as the Frost Witch in the myth at Cotton Cookie’s village. Black Pearl Cookie is incredibly powerful and is the legit subject of an existing legend in the CRK world, so why wouldn’t she have the Legendary status?

Idk, it just feels hypocritical when people bash Kingdom’s Legendaries when their arguments can apply to Ovenbreak’s Legendaries as well. But for some reason, Ovenbreak’s Legendaries get passes because they’re the OGs or whatever? You can’t bash Black Pearl Cookie for not being an Elemental Cookie when Timekeeper is right there. And I absolutely love Timekeeper, they’re on of my favorites, but if being an Elemental is the criteria for being a Legendary, then they shouldn’t be a Legendary.

TLDR: Legendary Cookies aren’t solely Elemental Guardians. There are Legendaries who aren’t Elementals. And if Black Pearl Cookie’s a “filler” Legendary for not being an Elemental, then some of Ovenbreak’s are “filler” Legendaries by those standards as well and don’t deserve the rarity.

[snowleopardcrk]

More Dragons Heart AU (and other stuff) stuff because I am really bored and need to scream into the void.

DH = Dragons Heart

RG = Revolutionary Garden

CotW = Call of the Wild (basically this main blog)

CS = Cute Ship (Just the one with Golden Cheese and Sweet Dream,,)

Misc = Not belonging into any of the three

=======

(DH - Moonflowers character, the aftermath)

After the final battle with Dark Enchantress, Moonflower essentially had to be wrapped up in a blanket and rope for most of the time to prevent her from hurting any other Cookie or herself. This included making any pre-existing wounds worse.

A lot of discussion was had but they didn’t get around to Moonflower until the tail end. They eventually narrowed it down to other Hollyberry or Pure Vanilla trying to take the mantle to help or redeem Moonflower (since she isn’t an adult and they agreed that she needed at least some chance).

Honestly, depending if she goes with PV or HB are two separate mini AUs on themselves, but for the sake of this discussion we’ll say she eventually went with Pure Vanilla.

Let’s say she had already kinda warmed up to Pure Vanilla before hand since he offered to begin treating her wounds when she allowed for him to get near. Even if she was hostile still, but less so. Think of a stray kitten and that’s your general image.

I was thinking that everyone separated apart from HBs and PVs group after the big battle and the discussions to return home and rest for a while. PV requested a little help for the first week or two with Moonflower so,, (vise versa if we went the HB route).

Beyond this point, it’s a lot of building trust and healing from physical wounds. I was thinking that PV gave her a little area as apart of this trust building process where she could easily flee to instead of lashing out physically (and it worked). Plus, you do need some amount of flight access to reach her main area.

For the room, I was almost thinking that it’s a fairly open room with her bed being way high up (basically reaching the ceiling) with platforms of varying heights. At the bottom of the room? Not sure yet, it’s probably extra pillows, blankets and those kind of things? If you got suggestions, put ‘em’ forward!

After all of this talking… I don’t know Dark Enchantresses character very well, I genuinely wonder how’d she’d treat Moonflower Cookie? Technically in the AU, she created Moonflower with old dough that White Lily and Pure Vanilla had created. It was half accidental and half not. It’s quite complicated honestly and needs to be thought out better. Amma need some help with this part.

Not sure what else to add for now… So, next AU!

======

(CS, general headcanons and storyline ideas)

Due to the lack of information on Golden Cheese, 99.99% of this is personal interpretation and headcanon rather than… Canon.

- The two originally met after the Dark Flour war when Golden Cheese was hunting down a fragment of her soul jam, Sweet Dream helped her navigate the area and they eventually found it. And they stayed in touch after this event.

- Golden Cheese quickly grew fond of Sweet Dream and it maybe took around a year for the two to actually begin dating. She found comfort in Sweet Dreams company after she lost complete contact with her other friends (she tried sending letters and stuff, but it didn’t work).

- Sweet Dream took a lot of time to learn about GCs kingdom, including the cheesebirds who lived there. Their culture, customs etc etc…

- Yes, they eventually got married :) very sweet moments

- In her free time, Sweet Dream did a lot. From reading and writing, to making carpets or sewing in general…General creative endeavours.

As for the story I have come up with? Not fully sure, the generic path is Cheddah the Mole or an associate coming back and overthrowing Golden Cheese (putting her into an coma, with the help of the Cookies of Darkness) and most likely exiling / banishing Sweet Dream from the kingdom. Or at least from the major city (cities?).

So much thinking… Little ideas.

Another idea that I had is that the reputation of the GC kingdom is potentially blown out of proportion. That it is a facade / a lot of lies,, haven’t thought of it beyond this though.

=========

Yeah, that’s all for today… Uhhh, if you want to add something. Just reblog this post with your thoughts! I’d love to see them ngl,, pretty please,,

[o-wyrmlight]

hello hopefully i’m not too late to the shipping asks thingy, i’m curious to know your opinion on hollyberry x cacao

All right, so let's take a look at Hollyberry and Dark Cacao for a hot minute, because up until a few days ago, I probably wouldn't have considered it all too much.

King. Queen. Each of different kingdoms. Each of kingdoms that are--quite literally--diametrically opposed to each other.

Let's take a look at Dark Cacao's kingdom, first of all. It's a kingdom that relies upon frugality and abstinence from most of life's pleasures in order to find the means to survive. This is a kingdom of warriors, born and raised to face off against the hostile and hungry wildlife of a frigid tundra fraught with dangers around every corner. I doubt that there is very much spare food to go around. I very much suspect that a large part of why sweets are forbidden following the first hunt of a creamwolf is because the resources there provide far more bitter resources than sweet. And Dark Cacao himself has raised his kingdom to be strong, filled with a determination to succeed and protect them at any cost necessary. They are isolated and cold, but honorable and proud.

And now. Look at Hollyberry Kingdom. Filled with life and jubilation, passionate parties, balls and dances with music that can play the night away. Hollyberry Kingdom is much unlike Dark Cacao Kingdom--here, everything is in excess, allowing room for passion to blossom forth like an overgrown vine. Hollyberry herself is a very passionate cookie who revels in the hedonistic pleasures of life--good drink, good music, good dance. Friends, family, fighting. Everything she does, she does out of love.

So, we know their kingdoms. We know their differences. Now, my friend, tell me. With how diametric these two cookies' kingdoms are, with how much their respective kingdom is reflected in their personalities--how can you possibly find enough common ground to ship them?

...

Let's look at their differences again. Let's look at their storylines in-game, and decipher how their personalities come to light further.

Hollyberry Kingdom was abandoned by their queen. She felt such great shame in what she did--or rather, failed to do--that she fled her kingdom and went into hiding, too absorbed in her self-blame for having failed to protect her friends. If she couldn't protect her friends, then how could she expect to protect her kingdom? It's very irresponsible in a sense, but also understandable. She is a queen who can hold her own one-on-one with Pitaya Dragon Cookie, so I'm sure she's had this view of herself as powerful for a long time. Or at the very least, powerful enough. And yet she wasn't when Dark Enchantress Cookie ended the Dark Flour War so catastrophically.

And Dark Cacao. Ah, Dark Cacao. How ashamed he must have been of having failed to protect his companions, his--I'm sure he saw them all as friends, somewhere deep down, though I doubt he ever actually said it aloud. He's a cookie who strives to protect his own kingdom by any means necessary, and after the desolation that was the Dark Flour War--after his companions disappeared--after his very own son nearly killed him... he took the other approach. He isolated himself within his own kingdom instead of running away, he dedicated potential years of his life to a siege on the Great Chocolate Wall that he might not have even been sure would ever actually happen--

He left his kingdom to rot away with him inside it, even though he was trying as hard as he could to protect his cookies. I'm sure he was trying harder than he ever did in the past, filled with a lonely fear that drove him forward, that crippled his ability to trust and care and left him sick with grief. Interesting, isn't it? How where Hollyberry left her kingdom for parts unknown, it was still able to flourish--and yet Dark Cacao, manic in his efforts to do everything he could to protect his cookies and the continent of Crispia from an impossible foe--ended up unknowingly being a catalyst for why his kingdom has already started to become ruined.

After all, isn't that why it's the Ruined Kingdom in Ovenbreak? Or perhaps it isn't made clear. But I think that Dark Cacao would have continued to focus on the wall, unknowing of how badly the rest of his kingdom had it. I think he would have continued for months, years... Centuries. All to protect against a foe he's convinced will come, but never might.

Now. With that out of the way. What do they have in common that could link them together?

...

They want to protect their cookies. They love their kingdoms so much that one of them fled because she felt unworthy and the other is willing to dedicate the rest of his grieving days to protecting his against an unknowable threat. And while their kingdoms may be vastly different, while their methods for doing so may not resonate fully with each other, I think...

I think there's something to that shared passion. That resolution. That determination.

And I think it all starts with talk of battling dragons.

[chromes-corner]

Filling out my cacao storyline bingo card + explanations and stuff

(Spoilers under cut)

BINGO!!!!! 🥳

Okay I’m going to go through every square and talk about them bc I have too much time on my hands (ones marked in red were ones I marked in my bingo card)

Espressoleine hint/tease

Thank god there was none of that

Dark Choco redemption/hinting at redemption

So, I think this once speaks for itself. It’s less of a redemption and more of the start of the redemption. I’m marking it down.

Affogato is a villain or at least morally grey

Self explanatory

Dark cacao/affogato ship art

Surprisingly, I haven’t seen a ton of it. I really thought a bunch of people would jumping on that wagon haha

Espresso dialogue

UGHHHH I WISH HE AND AFFOGATO INTERACTED!!!! I did like his little thing with the destroyed coffee tribe village in 13 tho

new bonds

That shits so disappointing like cmon

Insufficient Caramel Arrow story involvement

YESSS!!!! THEY DIDNT SHAFT MY GIRL!!!!!!!! I would’ve liked to hear more about her relationship with Choco but that little bit about him teaching her to fight sated my thirst pretty well lol

Dragons

WHYYYYY DEVSIS!!! YOU GIVE US COOL FUCKING LORE AND DESIGNS AND YOU DONT USE IT????? I want to know more about the black and white dragons so fucking badly. I’m assuming they’ll never have story relevance now which makes me SO MAD!!!! They’re everywhere on the cacao kingdom architecture!!!! Please tell us more about them and their significance to cacao culture!!!!! I will never not be pissed about that :/

Dark enchantress involvement

She wasn’t there lol

Cacao in disguise

Very glad they didn’t go the “omg he’s disguised nobody knows who he is” route. I like that it took him a while to get into his armor. I really hope we get the robes as a costume :)

Lack of Dark Enchantress involvement

Like, she wasn’t there in person is what I was going for with that one.

Dark Choco is kicked from the meta since Cacao is meta

Now, I almost didn’t mark this one, but I’m counting it since I hardly see Choco in arena anymore. Personally I still prefer him for stuff like guild battles and bosses, but yeah having used cacao he’s like way better lol

Dark cacao thirst

It’s my free space but still. I’ve seen it. You’ve seen it. God has seen it.

Impossible boss

Yeah uhhhhh that 14-30 kinda…… um…… let’s just say I miss raspberry

F2P players shafted

Yeah lol I did the math on like the first day. Sorry f2p homies 😔

Coffee tribe mention

Well, at least they were mentioned…? Still would’ve liked more. Devsis fucking sucks at worldbuilding :(

No CoD storyline mention

THANK GOD FOR CONTINUITY AND CINEMATIC PARALLELS BABY!!!

Arena saturation

Yeah self explanatory

Dark Choco has no plot relevance

ONCE AGAIN, THANK GOD

Emotionally absent father

Okay I was on the fence about marking this one but tbh this is how I interpreted it. Cacao seemingly only trained his son for battle and never really was a “father” to him, yknow?

No info about golden cheese

Kill me

No trauma resolution

I was also on the fence about this one but I decided that yeah it happened. Cacao realizing where he went wrong in fatherhood was probably as far as it could go anyway since the damage had already been done, and Choco, well, that’s an entire other post

Gingerbrave on his dumb shit

SURPRISINGLY DIDNT HAPPEN!!!!! Really happy about that. Happy about gingergangs entirely separate involvement in the plot this time. I liked seeing the others work it out on their own without fireteam mcguffin butting in with their “you have depression? Just smile :)” bullshit

Flashbacks

Surprised that there were no flashbacks. Well there was one VERY brief one but I’m not counting it. Wish we saw more cacao and young Choco interactions so we could fully understand their relationship :/

Glimpse of milk tribe

Thank you for this crumb of sustenance devsis. It will tide me over until we get some golden cheese info or another ovenbreak legendary :)

[skybristle]

RANT TIME HFKJDHAS

so they defeated Dork Enchantress cause the power of whatever the hell they have going on theyre all on crack tbh but Dark Enchantress turns back into White Lily, and this is everyone's reaction Pure Vanilla: Incredibly happy, sobbing happpy tears and hugging her and apologizing for being unable to help her before dark cacao: uneasy and there's tension between him and lily, but he is glad to see that she is okay but not ready to forgive her (because of what she did to Dark Choco as Dark Enchantress) hollyberry: Upset but willing to forgive Lily, but their friendship is basically over GOlden cheese: Pissed the FUCK off, not willing to forgive lily and though Lily is BEGGING to be forgiven Cheese just cannot forgive her at all and won't even talk OR look at her, ends up leaving first gingerbrave: super happy and easily forgiving lily I can see Golden as being the serious but also the least serious one of the group, she can turn serious in an instant if it calls for it

but yeah oretty much the entire ancient group fell apart and theres tension between everyone dumbing it down to an ovenbreak relationship chart White Lily's relationships: Gingerbrave- "Thank you for forgiving me..." (friendly) Pure Vanilla- "I'm so sorry... I wish I had listened..." (tensiono) Dark Cacao- "I understand if you hate me for what I did to your son." (friendly) Golden Cheese- "Wait, come back! I'm so sorry..." (tension) and here's everyones relationship w her: Pure Vanilla: "I should've stayed by your side." (Friendly) Gingerballs: "It's alright! Nobody was hurt that badly." (Friendly, i also fucking hate gingerbrave since he so would be like this and someone would 100% be dead) Dark Cacao: "You cannot undo your actions." (Tension) Golden: "You are no longer welcome in my kingdom." (Tension)

YEAH GOD. personally in my fanon i just kill DE off. im not personally fond of the idea of white lily being brought back to life,,,, it just feels like a waste of character and an erasement of all of the abhorrent shit that DE and to an extent WL did. it also erases the character growth of PV finally giving up on forgiveness and realizing the situation is unsalvagable and he needs to kill her to protect what he loves. i think thats a lot more powerful of a storyline. i do agree that golden cheese would get extremely angry with white lily, as soon as she knows the truth she's unwavering in the fact that regardless of who she was or what she is now that dark enchantress *has* to die. she's watched her kingdom, her friend's, and millions of lives be torn and shredded over this war, and she needs it to *end*. in my rewrite of oddessy, she actually shatter's white lily's stained glass portrait in a rage as she yells at pv for lying to her and obscuring the truth. white lily doesnt deserve to be pictured amongst them anymore, and she cannot *beleive* that after all this time, in the rebuilding of the kingdom she destroyed, he still puts up carefully crafted artwork, windows, an entire garden in his visage. especially since he KNEW the whole time, even in the first round of the war.

[liverinthemailbox0-0]

And poor little meow meow oops

Honestly, for CRK, I'd have to say Pomegranate.

Well, it's more of a love-hate relationship thing. Like, everytime she opens her mouth I want to literally grab her by the neck and throw her back in the oven to burn, but at the same time I'm kind of fascinated by how she's structured.

She's the absolute perfect villain character for the game. Even though Dark Enchantress is the main antagonist, at least she has a rational reason. Pomegranate? She was just "fated" to become a villain and said "fuck it." And she is absolutely RUTHLESS at it.

I won't bother putting too many spoilers here, but everything she did to Dark Choco in the Cookies of Darkness storyline and how she tricked the main team in the part where you fight her in Chapter 11 just shows how truly evil and dedicated she is. No wonder the fandom hates her so much, she's good at her job.

The LITERAL definition of "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" here. But also, I hope she gets put in the garbage disposal <3

[shlabam]

TOP TEN COMICS BOOK VILLAINS WE PROBABLY WON’T SEE IN THE MOVIES

Superhero media is the hottest thing going right now. It was true ten years ago when the MCU was in its adolescence, and it’s even truer now. Even with film production on lockdown, Marvel and DC are still planning on literally dozens of their characters entering their respective cinematic universes. However, for the fans of the source material, things can be contentious. For every memorable Tony Stark quip, there’s Superman destroying an entire city because he’s, frankly, kind of dumb now. A major point of contention is how the various popular villains are utilized. Making an intimidating and potent villain in a comic book is very different than in a film. In comics, you have months to establish motive, powers, and backstory before the villain even makes their first move. In films, that all has to be compressed and spilled out in the scarce few minutes when Captain America and Bucky aren’t making bambi eyes at each other. To be concise, some villains adapt perfectly, and some, no matter how good they are in the comics, just don’t. And to be clear, this list is of popular villains who have the possibility of appearing in a big-budget film, so no, you won’t be seeing Ten Eyed Man or Big Wheel in there. Their powers are, respectively, having ten eyes, and being very good in business. (That’s a lie, he’s just a huge wheel who chases Spider-Man.)

10: Mr. Mxyzptlk:

Cool, let’s get this one out of the way. Despite being one of Superman’s oldest, longest-lasting, and most popular enemies from all the way back in the Golden Age, there’s no way in hell he will be in a movie. For the uninformed. Mr. Mxyzptlk is a 5th dimensional wizard-genie who appears every ninety days to torment Superman with his reality-altering antics, and can only be sent back to his home dimension if Superman tricks him into saying his own name backwards. Yes, it would be very dazzling, as Mr. Mxyzptlk’s powers in a movie would basically look like if Christopher Nolan directed Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but he’s a little too silly to fit in with the current “everything is gloomy and also a bummer” tone of the Superman films. This silly tone has lent itself perfectly to the Supergirl series, where he’s made a handful of appearances. Besides, if we get Mxyzptlk in a Superman movie before Brainiac, I’ll lose my entire freaking mind.

9: Hobgoblin:

There have been eight Spider-Man movies so far, and of those eight, four of them have, in some capacity, featured the Green Goblin. And that makes sense, right? The Green Goblin is easily Spider-Man’s most memorable and reoccurring nemesis, with Doctor Octopus and Venom close behind, and Peter Parker’s link with Norman and Harry Osbourn makes their tragic story perfect for film adaptation. On the other hand, we have the Hobgoblin, who is essentially Green Goblin with all the gimmicks, none of the Parker-adjacent backstory, and an orange and blue color scheme, likely tying him to the Denver Broncos [citation needed]. Still, in those four cinematic attempts at tackling the Goblin, none of them have quite gotten him right, and I can’t imagine this character, who is, even in canon, an intentional Green Goblin rip-off, would fare any better.

8: Starro:

Brave and the Bold #28 from 1960 featured the first story with the Justice League, and this story put them up against a very unique new villain: Starro the Conqueror, a giant telepathic starfish who can release tiny versions of himself. If these tiny starfish latch onto your head, you’re under his control and obey his commands. The Justice League have battled him fairly regularly over the last fifty years, and he’s a distinct and powerful enemy that the fans generally appreciate, leading to him being referenced occasionally in Smallville, Arrow, and Flash. Why won’t he ever be in a movie? Because if you’re a Hollywood producer, you stopped paying attention at “giant telepathic starfish”. Sorry. Maybe Shuma-Gorath will pop up in the next Doctor Strange movie, and he’ll set off a Twilight-esque wave of starfish monster movies! Then again, almost absolutely not.

7: Puppet Master:

Speaking of mind control, what’s scarier than that? For my money, nothing. Having your body and will taken away from you by an unseen force is a terror greater than death. How could you possibly make a villain based around such a chilling concept and have him not be scary? Well, maybe if it���s an old bald man in an apron playing with dolls. The Puppet Master is an ongoing threat for the Fantastic Four who is just that: he makes models of his foes out of radioactive clay, and makes them punch themselves and dance around and kiss each other, because he’s, y’know, a weird old man. Why is he such a consistent threat who hasn’t fallen into obscurity like other dumb gimmick-based villains? His stepdaughter, Alicia Masters, is the Thing’s longtime girlfriend. As long as she keeps appearing in movies (including being played by… Kerry Washington? That can’t be right), there’s always a chance he’ll pop up, but I don’t think any movie studio is that stupid, despite the quality of every Fantastic Four movie blatantly defying that prediction.

6: Bizarro:

Superman has always suffered in the villains department. When you’re essentially a god, what can they throw at you? As it turns out, Lex Luthor, almost always. But why not another Superman? Bizarro is essentially that, an imperfect clone of Superman who speaks in opposite speak - “Bizarro am good! Me not punch you until you live!” - and features the same abilities as the Man of Steel. Sounds great, right? Putting a hero against a villain with their same powers has worked for nearly every Marvel movie (shots fired). So why won’t we see him grace our silver screens any time soon? Because they’ve never really figured him out. Is he funny? Is he lethal? Does Kryptonite work on him? If he does everything the opposite of Superman, why does he wear clothes? Isn’t being naked the opposite of being clothed? Bizarro is a major Superman side-character and has made appearances in Smallville and Supergirl, but the idea of him being the Big Bad going toe-to-toe with Henry Cavill doesn’t sound like it would generate a lot of views.

5: Impossible Man:

You remember what I said about Mr. Mxyzptlk? Remember? So take that bit, but everywhere I say Superman, have it say Fantastic Four instead… yeah, that should do it.

4: The Wrecking Crew:

Thor has a unique quirk of having a very cinematic rogues gallery. Sure, most of the movies have pitted him against Loki, but if they were to run him up against the Enchantress, or the Absorbing Man, or Ulik the Troll, or Kurse, or even the Stone Men from Saturn, that’s not a bad movie! However, in one of the attempts to give Thor more of a mortal nemesis, they put him up against the Wrecker, who has an… enchanted… indestructible… crowbar. Yeah. Incredibly, the Wrecker and his Wrecking Crew have become very present characters throughout the Marvel Universe, essentially serving as “jobbers”, being rolled out to get beaten up by the new top hero or villain, but that may not work in a movie, where villains have to be seen as having some level of potency before being struck down. That means we’d need at least a short scene where it seems like Thor might lose to a guy whose power is “crowbar”, and that’s about as likely as an Edward Norton cameo in the next Avengers. Ho boy, they did NOT part on good terms!

3: Clayface:

When the movie-going public goes to see a Batman movie, they generally want something a bit more grounded than your typical superhero fare. After all, Batman has no powers, and therefore the most supernatural thing that should happen in these movies is a gas that makes you smile, or a different gas that makes you think your dead parents are back and disappointed in you. Might wanna put a mouth covering on that mask, Bruce! The one and only they’ve made a movie where Batman fights people with real, off-the-wall super powers (Batman and Robin), it did not go great. And those guys pale in comparison to Clayface, who is, yes, made of clay. In the comics and cartoons, Clayface looks awesome, turning his limbs into weapons and being very challenging to incapacitate, but in a live-action, realistic Batman adventure, we wouldn’t want to see the Dark Knight fight a poop-colored version of the T-1000, especially if it’s got the same chemical composition of a little dreidel that I made.

2: Red Hood:

A relative newcomer to the Batman universe, Red Hood is the revived body of Jason Todd, the second Robin, who was brutally killed by the Joker in one of the most controversial storylines DC Comics ever produced. Literally, fans called a 900 number to tell the writers to kill him off. A 900 number. That’s how much they hated the little turd. Anyway, Jason Todd, whom Batman and the rest of the world believed was dead, was revived by Ra’s al Ghul and became a ruthless villain. Since then, he’s gravitated more to the side of the hero, though one a bit more willing to spill blood than his mentors. Why won’t we see him in the darker, edgier Batman films? Because… that’s Bucky. It’s the same thing that happened in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Teen sidekick killed in controversial manner, revived by super villain to be a thorn in said hero’s side, later changes his mind and becomes a good guy again, though with enough PTSD to fill a PTSD super store. The two storylines even occurred in the comics in the same year, 2005, to much fanfare and across-the-board declarations of one company ripping off the other, reminding the world of the great Aquaman-Namor debates of the 1940s. Considering that DC’s films have criminally underperformed compared to Marvel’s, the last thing they want to do is be accused of lazy plagiarism, so Jason Todd will likely remain a permanent fixture in the afterlife, hanging out with Batman’s parents and, at the rate that people are coming back from the dead, literally no one else. (Plus, if they can’t even get Robin right, how are they gonna do this?)

1: Mister Sinister:

Yes, he was teased at the end of X-Men Apocalypse, but ignoring that the film underperformed both critically and commercially, Mister Sinister is never going to be in a movie. It would make sense for him to appear, though, right? He’s one of the most present and potent X-Men villains, he’s played crucial roles in many memorable storylines, he’s got a sick cape, but… something a lot of comic book fans tend to overlook is his murky backstory, powers, and motivations. He was a biologist in Victorian London who did genetic experiments on homeless people in the hopes of finding clues about the oncoming threat of mutants. In this time, he unearthed the long-dormant En Sabah Nur, whom you plebeians may know as Apocalypse, and Apocalypse gifted him with great abilities. What abilities you ask? HA HA, good question! At various times, Sinister has displayed: telepathy, telekinesis, energy projection, shape-shifting, regeneration, and teleportation, but these powers will mysteriously disappear whenever they want him to get sliced up real good by Wolverine. Additionally, it has never been made very clear what Sinister wants. Does he seek perfect mastery of the human genome? Does he live to torment Cyclops? Is he a blind follower of Apocalypse? Is he just running through all the different kinds of goatee? Of course, in adaptation, the writers would pick and choose the aspects they’d want to use, but I doubt they’d want to untangle the Christmas lights mess that is Mister Sinister, especially when they’ve got a perfectly good villain whose power is just “magnets”.

[odogaronfang]

okay so i have some ideas about how the guild squad arc is going to resolve in the end so i put them all together :) it’s kinda long so it’ll be under a readmore but feel free to add any thoughts you have!!

okay unless there's something about the guild squad dark choco cookie hunt storyline i missed, we don't know where DC is going, right? but we know that they were in the dragon's valley, with or at least near pitaya, because pitaya mentions a cookie touched by darkness passing through the valley. that's not a very convenient location to travel to and probably not a great place to stay if you're unfamiliar with it, but they were there, meaning they may have looked for something, but they obviously didn't find it and so continued on their way.

and then right before the earthquake, yam says that he has a hunch about where DC was going and/or what they were looking for! and i know mango first introduces the additional dragon lore to milk and dino for story reasons because we the players are unfamiliar with it, but it's safe to say that mala knows about the dragons, and yam probably also knows something about it, whether that be from prior knowledge or from asking mala about them.

because DC was at least formerly royalty, we can expect them to have had a pretty thorough education, so DC may have also heard the legends of the dragons! and they went to dragon's valley to seek them out, but found that all of them had fled except for pitaya, so they may have tried to approach or investigate pitaya which is why pitaya knew they'd passed through. but pitaya wasn’t the dragon they wanted- they control “fire and brimstone” which overall isn’t very helpful to DC, so DC left the valley.

so what if.......... DC is seeking out the blue dragon for a wish! maybe to uncurse them! or they may even be looking for the violet dragon, who manipulates darkness- but i also like the idea of DC’s corruption being somehow tied to the violet dragon and not to dark enchantress, so maybe the violet dragon is trying to bring their “toy” back now that their power is waning?

and the interesting thing about all this is that mala and yam will likely encounter the blue dragon wherever they are, along with the ivory dragon, but milk and dino are (or were) near the violet dragon's island, so regardless of where DC might have gone, only half the squad (and half the people looking for them) will find them.

and with blueberry pie's city of wizards event, devsis has proven that they're willing to do a choose-your-adventure type of thing............... maybe you choose which half of the squad’s story to follow, and that determines who meets DC, and DC's fate (violet dragon or blue dragon) depends on that. and blue dragon/violet dragon is like good end/bad end for DC.

if they get the good end, they’ll be with yam, the guy who distrusts them and believes they’re evil and selfish, etc.

but if they get the bad end, presumably falling deeper into corruption and serving the darkness, they’ll be with milk, who's implied to be blindly idolizing them.

in the good end i imagine that DC frees themselves of the curse for good, either by using a wish from the blue dragon or by asking the ivory dragon what they need to do to be free and stay that way. and yam and mala probably encounter them right before or while they’re interacting with the dragons.

and i imagine DC sort of remembers yam because of the fight for the title and everything and they realize why yam must be after them and yam gives his whole monologue about what a piece of shit DC is but before they actually fight, DC willingly relinquishes the title.

like they admit that they should never have taken it and that they were in the wrong and that yam is more deserving of it, etc. and yam is like 'fine okay' and that’s that, and he's ready to bail on DC as soon as mala gets what SHE needs but like. yam knows that milk would be DEVASTATED if he found out that yam and mala had found DC but not brought DC to see him, and yam also won't lie or ask mala to lie if milk asks about DC.

so yam is like 'don't get me wrong i still hate you but we need you to come with us' and DC is like 'okay i have nothing better to do i guess' so like. assuming the wishes have parameters and they can't wish themselves to where milk and dino are, they ask the ivory dragon where and how to find them and then set off to meet back up with the rest of the squad.

i think mala still tags along because maybe the other two dragons tell her that they need all 5 dragons to heal the valley? idk it's an excuse to keep mala but anyway they have their journey and find milk and dino with the other dragons and i just picture like. mala stumbling upon where milk and dino are first and they're like Holy Shit Mala and she calls yam over and they're like Holy Shit We're Together Again but then DC comes through and milk is like HOLY SHIT DC and milk is like 'DARK CHOCO!!! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!!!' (completely not noticing like their emo outfit and their emo weapon and their missing eye because he's too excited) 

but DC is just like '...who are you?'

and milk is kinda taken aback because he's thinking that DC MUST remember him, and he tries to remind DC of how they saved milk all that time ago but DC is just like 'i've had a lot of fights and i've killed and saved people in equal measure, i don't know who you are' and DC is tired and hurting and feeling ashamed and aimless so they don’t even TRY to be tactful about it and it CRUSHES milk

[insert the rest of story here] because i have ideas for the scene that follows but that’s too long and detailed for this post.

anyway bad end….. idk what exactly the violet dragon would do to DC, but it would probably involve making the curse more severe and probably making DC more malicious as a Just For Fun :) sort of thing, or maybe the violet dragon wants DC as a bodyguard and an agent of darkness now that their own power is fading (of course this depends on whether the violet dragon is evil or is cool and just happens to have an unfortunate domain of power).

so i just imagine like. milk and dino going to see the violet dragon, and since they're not as well-versed in the lore as mala is, they're not really sure what they're walking into (i don't think that ananas is willing to give them much help because of what they did to the island)

and as they’re making their way to the violet dragon's lair, they begin to see evidence of someone else passing through, and yam never got the chance to share his theory with milk but i think maybe milk began to get a similar idea? so he's like Dino Holy Fuck and they're following these tracks, which is convenient because it seems to be leading right to the dragon anyway!

i don't think that they ever really "see" the violet dragon, i imagine that they get around to the violet dragon's lair and DC is just. chilling outside, completely nonchalant, acting like nothing is wrong

like they’re just sitting on a rock outside kindling a campfire, sharpening their sword, and maybe the violet dragon is able to access their memories so that they see this old, vague memory with milk and they're like I Can Make A Trap Out Of This :)

the violet dragon sees this emissary of light approaching and doesn't want that shit so!! they can use their new toy to fix the problem :)

but they also don't want DC risking a fight where they’re outnumbered so DC is like (still basically possessed) '...milk? is that you?' and milk is THRILLED

DC invites milk and dino to stay with them around the campfire and talk, and promises that the next morning they'll all go to see the dragon together- but the dragon is actually intending to have DC kill milk and dino in their sleep.

so they sit around talking and DC is being pleasant and friendly, if a little quiet (the dragon is making them let milk and dino speak as a way of gathering information). and meanwhile mala and yam have reached their set of dragons and something just feels Wrong to both of them. some kind of intuition i guess. so i just imagine them frantically asking the ivory dragon what's going on with dino and milk and the ivory dragon thinks for a minute and then they're like 'your two friends are in immediate danger, and likely will not live to see the sun rise tomorrow'

and yam is like 'what kind of danger?????' and the ivory dragon describes DC and yam is like son of a fuck

and beforehand mala can ask or wish for what she needs because lesbian rights and she deserves it but idk they use their other wish from the blue dragon to get to dino and milk somehow but like :) just A Little Too Late to fully prevent everything :)

no one dies except maybe DC depending on how edgy you wanna be! i think jellysaur is on edge and growling and biting at DC every time they come near, because animals just have that Sense, so jellysaur wakes milk and dino just before DC can kill them, but there's still a fight before yam and mala are able to get to them :)

anyway i do have more thoughts but that’s for another time :)

[quibbs126]

I feel like the more we see the Ancients and Dark Enchantress Cookie, the more the prologue doesn’t make sense

Like, from what the prologue tells us, the Five Heroes fought against Dark Enchantress Cookie, then Dark Enchantress takes the five Soul Jams and they’re shattered, and in the wake of her and Pure Vanilla’s spell clashing, the five heroes, Dark Enchantress Cookie, and the Vanilla Kingdom all disappear (also the rest of their kingdoms are supposed to essentially crumble over time, but that’s less important)

And the game seems to go for the most part with this up until the reveal of Dark Enchantress Cookie’s true identity as White Lily Cookie. But honestly, I think that’s fine. Honestly I think it does work with what the prologue shows of her. Yes there’s now the confusion of why there’s essentially two White Lilies, but there’s also been evidence to show that there’s more to this story that we don’t know, and that there will be an explanation. Everything else however seems to be as we were told

In Pure Vanilla’s storyline, things seem to still line up. Now that Dark Enchantress Cookie has been freed, so have Pure Vanilla Cookie and the Vanilla Kingdom, and while we don’t see it, you could assume so have the others, but perhaps they were just scattered to other corders of Earthbread, hence why we don’t see them. Nothing contradicts that they disappeared too. Pomegranate also mentions how the Soul Jams are in shattered pieces across Earthbread, which we also know from the prologue. She also says that the spell going wrong between him and DE cursed the other Ancients, and yes, he calls it lies initially, the following dialogue implies that it’s true and that he was just telling himself that he didn’t

There is the question of how he suddenly has his whole Soul Jam back, but that’s like the only major contradiction, and it’s not one that’s really touched on. But overall things generally hold up

It’s at Hollyberry’s story that things start to get confusing. Now it does still use the “Soul Jam is shattered” thing (and is frankly the only one to keep that fact, aside from at the end where the Soul Jam suddenly becomes whole again but shush), with her shield’s pieces having been reconstructed over the years, but it’s the other things that start to contradict. For starters, Hollyberry didn’t seem to disappear as a result of the Dark Flour War, rather her disappearance seems to be that she left of her own accord, presumably sometime after the Dark Flour War, implying that she did not disappear. Also her memory problems aren’t like Pure Vanilla’s, since she seems to remember who she is, at least to some degree (I feel like it was very selective what she did and didn’t know, and the whole thing confuses me), but I suppose that doesn’t really matter as Pure Vanilla’s amnesia may just have been some sort of trauma defense thing, and thus just personal to him. I mean, Dark Enchantress remembers who she is

…I felt like I had more contradictions for her, but now I feel like the only major one here is that it’s implied that she didn’t disappear, but she stayed and went back to her kingdom

Oh wait, there’s also the fact that the Hollyberry Kingdom is fine and prospering, other than the whole dragon thing but no one seems too bothered by that. The whole idea that the world is suffering without the Ancients, specifically their own kingdoms, or that they were ever absent, just doesn’t feel like it’s there

But now let’s move on to Dark Cacao’s storyline, which I feel has the most contradictions

Hollyberry’s story feels a bit ambiguous whether the Ancients disappeared, but in Dark Cacao’s it outright says no they did not. Dark Cacao has been here and nothing implies he ever left, at least not for a significant period of time. Also, he has his whole Soul Jam, and again, nothing implies that he lost that or had to reconstruct it. He’s just had it the whole time. Both of these directly contradict the prologue

And while yes, his kingdom is suffering, and it’s partially because he lost his way, it wasn’t because of the Dark Flour War, rather this seems to have been a much more recent development with Affogato Cookie and particularly Dark Choco’s betrayal and exile. While some evidence may suggest things got worse for them after the Dark Flour War (in Dark Choco’s memories, his younger self seems to imply that the kingdom is isolating itself and is worse off for it), but things didn’t reach that breaking point until after Dark Choco’s banishment

Maybe that’s why the Dark Cacao storyline feels weird to me, because the conflict didn’t start because of things that happened in the Dark Flour War, nor does that seem to have had much effect on Dark Cacao or the kingdom, but rather it was because of something entirely separate

But yeah, going back to how things are presented to us now, the Ancients, other than Pure Vanilla alongside Dark Enchantress Cookie, never disappeared, their Soul Jams might have remained whole and with the heroes, and all the kingdoms seem to be doing fine (Dark Cacao’s not so much, but that’s due to external forces). So basically, pretty much all the points we see in the prologue don’t add up

Honestly at some point I start to feel like what happened in the prologue didn’t actually happen and rather that was just a fabricated story, and that we end up seeing what really happened

[wits-writing]

Earth’s Mightiest Retrospective Ep 25: “The Fall of Asgard”

(Directed by Vinton Heuck, Written by Christopher Yost, Original Airdate: June 19, 2011)

The season one finale storyline moves right along at a great clip in “The Fall of Asgard.” It picks up exactly from where the previous episode left off with the Avengers scattered across seven of the Nine Realms after they destroyed the Norn Stones. Stranding the Avengers in fantasy worlds give this finale a unique feeling compared to the other major threats they’ve had to deal with this season. The Leader, Kang, and Ultron, while varying in how they operated, all functioned with a basis in science and the physical world. Which often meant Thor could play a major role in their undoing as an unexpected element from their worldview. Thor being captured by Loki in Asgard’s palace turns the tables on that dynamic and leaves the rest of the team to adjust to working within worlds that operate on different laws. Though some Avengers have the fortune to wind up in situations that suit their skills.

Tony’s probably taken out of his element the most, since teleporting destroyed his armor. He’s left with a single gauntlet and the arc reactor in his chest when he wakes up to find himself among the Dwarves of Nidavellir. The Dwarves begin leading him to their forges, the last stronghold they have against Loki’s encroaching armies, only to find themselves followed by the monstrous Ulik. Tony uses the limited resources at his disposal to keep Ulik from killing the Dwarf King, Eitri. It’s fun showcase of Tony’s brainpower and skills that reinforce how there’s more to him being Iron Man than the armor. Though the final move he takes is the Hail Mary pass of opening the arc reactor and blasting Ulik with the full power of the machine keeping him alive. It’s enough to earn Eitri’s respect as they continue their way to the forges near the end of the episode. Tony ends his part in the episode by asking Eitri if they’ll be able to make a suit of armor when they arrive.

Wasp and Giant Man get fittingly sent to the land of the Frost Giants, Jotunheim. Wasp is knocked out for most of the episode (and not in the winter-variant of her costume she wore last time in a bit of minor inconsistency.) That leaves Giant Man to use his ability to meet the giants eye-to-eye with his powers and fight to protect her. He’s ends up learning how far above his weight class he’s punching when it turns out the leader of the Frost Giants, Ymir, has been given the Casket of Ancient Winters. The two size-changing heroes have the luck of being saved by two of the most noble warriors in Asgard, Lady Sif and Valkyrie. They give the two Avengers the rundown on the situation with Loki and get them away from the giants.

The Hulk is as suited to the situation he finds himself in as possible. He’s still wielding Executioner’s axe. Which comes in handy as he intercepts a band of trolls pulling along a large convoy of imprisoned Asgardians that opposed Loki’s rule. He solves the situation the way Hulk always does, smashing all the trolls until none are left standing. It’s fun to see Hulk get to utilize the fire and ice powers of Skurge’s axe and there’s the payoff at the end that three of the prisoners he freed were Thor’s longtime allies, the Warriors Three.

Hawkeye and Black Panther’s stories oddly end up overlapping, since they’re in the realms of the Light and Dark Elves, respectively. Clint ends up fighting in Alfheim alongside elven archer, Faradei, seen last time as, in Hawkeye’s own words, “an elf giving him a funny look.” The two archers spend most of their portion of the episode on horseback being chased by direwolves under Loki’s control, though Clint does get some enchanted arrows for his trouble. T’Challa gets stuck in Svartaflheim, a land still haunted by the spirits of the Dark Elves that used to live there. He uses his suits built-in capability to see traces of magic to find a way out that gets him through another portal to Alfheim. Panther catches up with Hawkeye and Faradei. Once the action has died down for them, the elf promises to take them on his ship to Asgard to confront Loki.

Captain America probably has the least action-oriented subplot in the episode of any Avengers outside of Thor. Steve’s ended up in Niflheim, the land of the dead ruled over by Hela, daughter of Loki. His subplot mostly concern being haunted by the ghosts of the soldiers he fought alongside in World War II, including Jack Fury and the Howling Commandos. They all speak to him of how he’s done enough in the world of the living and deserves his final rest. Steve can’t accept that, especially when he notices Bucky’s absence among the ghosts, and says he’ll only stop fighting when the mission is over. Which leads to his subplot ending with meeting Hela in person.

The biggest stuff in “The Fall of Asgard” related to the overarching story of EMH season one is that we finally learn the motive behind the inciting incident of the season. While Loki has Thor at his mercy, he takes the time to explain his plan and motives in grand detail. As we already saw in “Thor the Mighty”, Loki intended to get banished by Odin to get him off Thor’s notice so he could put the rest of his schemes in motion. He knew he could keep his half-brother on Midgard* by making sure it remained in constant peril, so he caused the supervillain prison breakouts. He followed that up by making sure Enchantress assembled the Masters of Evil to do his bidding in the mortal realm, even going the extra step of cutting off Thor from returning home. While the rest of this was going on, Loki has managed to conquer Asgard and every Realm by perpetuating the Odinsleep. He’s keeping his stepfather in stasis and siphoning the Odinforce from him for his personal use. While Thor tells Loki not to underestimate the Avengers, Loki’s assured that their adventures in the realms they’ve been teleported to will do his job for him.

“The Fall of Asgard” works well as a genre exploration for EMH into the realms of fantasy. Putting the heroes in situations that get them to approach the fight against evil in new ways is fun and the cutting from one subplot to another, with an occasional cut back to Loki for more exposition about his plans, keep the episode’s pacing up.

Next time, we end season one of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes seeing how much Loki will pay for underestimating Thor’s friends.

*Earth

If you like what you’ve read here, please like/reblog or share elsewhere online, follow me on Twitter (@WC_WIT), and consider throwing some support my way at either Ko-Fi.com or Patreon.com at the extension “/witswriting”

[stargazeraldroth]

Choco Cone Cookie AU

So I came up with a Cookie Run AU a few days ago, and... I’m gonna talk about it here, but the idea is- it’s not stupid, I think it’s very interesting (because I’m an AU nerd), but it might come across as dumb to others. I call it the Choco Cone AU.

So basically, the premise of this AU was a part of my “Dark Chocoverse” brainrot where I imagined Dark Choco Cookie in different roles for characters. One of these roles was him being in Strawberry Crepe Cookie’s place, where he’s associated with Wafflebots and is the initially unnamed Cookie the crew meets in the Vanilla Kingdom. And then I started building more onto this idea because I was hyperfixating on the theme of Strawberry Crepe Cookie’s character, which a cyborg-like character who does all these analysis things and techy stuff and yeah.

For the most part, the AU’s been kinda comical. I’ve been talking about it with friend, who I share just about all of my brainrot with, and there’s been more comical scenes than angsty ones, which is a new record for me I think. Like, the scene we just talked about today was a Licorice Oozling getting loose in the Black Citadel thanks to Dark Choco Cookie, and how he’s trying to track it down and catch it before the others find out.

I’m also trying to figure out the backstory/lore for this AU. Like how Dark Choco Cookie ended up in the Vanilla Kingdom and how he ended up fused with these Wafflebot parts, becoming a cyborg and all. The current thing I’m going with is that he suffered some kind of tragic accident and needed life-saving surgery, as he lost limbs. And, at least in this AU, not even Pure Vanilla Cookie’s miracle magic can reattach lost limbs. Maybe the accident in question, if I keep this plotline, could be related to the Dark Flour War with everything going on.

As a result of the accident in question and the spell that sealed away the Vanilla Kingdom, Dark Choco Cookie suffered total amnesia. He remembered basic knowledge and stuff, but he forgot everything about who he was, including his name and where he comes from. But he did still remember that he was a Cookie. There are moments where he can experience deja vu related to his past, such as the licorice smell coming from Licorice Cookie (and probably his name alone tbh) and Dark Enchantress Cookie. He doesn’t know WHY he gets this sense of deja vu and longing, but he does, and it can be pretty distracting at times.

Now, this AU doesn’t get rid of Strawberry Crepe Cookie entirely. The skrunkly still exists in this AU. I don’t really know how I’m going to implement them into the story/setting, but the idea I got not too long ago was that Strawberry Crepe Cookie found Dark Choco Cookie and they’re kinda like a little found family. Obviously this leads to some conflict come Cookie Odyssey and Dark Cacao Cookie finds out that his son is, in fact, still alive. Pretty much hasn’t aged a day and didn’t even know Dark Cacao Cookie or the Dark Cacao Kingdom existed prior to the Council of Heroes, but that’s a topic for another day!

Like, Dark Choco Cookie’s character here isn’t a carbon copy of Strawberry Crepe Cookie. That’s not what I want. Unlike Strawberry Crepe Cookie, who seems to have known how to navigate Wafflebots and data from the moment they gained awareness, Dark Choco Cookie has no idea what is going on. The kid even designed a similar headset for him, one based on the Choco Cone Lancers, and he’s just looking at the data stream like (:D)

At the same time, Dark Choco Cookie’s cluelessness when it comes to technology isn’t solely played for laughs and he’s not just additional comic relief in the AU. Here, he’d be a much stronger opponent than Strawberry Crepe Cookie, especially in terms of the lore and what the boss battle was like from a lore perspective. Because although his brain memory is gone, his muscle (dough?) memory is still there, and he’s an experienced fighter. In this AU’s storyline, Strawberry Crepe Cookie would run to Dark Choco Cookie and be a little tattletale on GingerBrave and friends, and then they’d fight for that reason. Like, what I’m picturing is Dark Choco Cookie holding like a laser cannon and aiming it at the main crew, despite 4/5 (4/6 if you count Healer Cookie) being literal children.

Btw, the name of the AU comes from Dark Choco Cookie’s amnesiac alias, which is literally “Choco Cone Cookie”. He and Strawberry Crepe Cookie could tell that he has a high chocolate count in his dough, and since Strawberry Crepe gave him the similar headset, he took the name “Choco Cone Cookie” after the Wafflebots.

I might write more about this AU and elaborate on it some, maybe even actually write something or draw something (I’d say you can count more on the writing part), and yeah. That’s about it for now.

[taiblogcomics]

And a Clown Shall Lead Them

Hey there, chips so spicy your eyes water just from opening the bag. Know what? I'm gonna leave you on that little cliffhanger. Let's do at least an issue or two of Suicide Squad while I wait for my next order to come in~

Here's a cover:

I think this yet another Harley costume. As a time-honoured tradition, let's critique it! Starting from the bottom... is she wearing a second pair of boots over the first? I've never seen laces that stop, make a bow, and then continue up again. It's certainly quirky, I'll give her that. Fishnets are fine, but it's mysterious that goes over her cutie mark, or whatever that diamond is supposed to be. She also has mysteriously tan skin. Next, those are probably the shortest shorts I've ever seen. If it wasn't for the belt, I'd say there were just underpants. Are the rips in her shirt deliberate or not? If yes, they look terrible; if not, why was it necessary to include? Just to flash a bit of cleavage? Come on now. As usual, her neck decoration (neckoration?) is terrible, but I like it more than the bells or Shakespeare ruff. All I'm saying if you're going to go fashion scarf, go long and dramatic. The Sailor Moon hair is all right, though. Does Michael Jackson know she's borrowing his jacket? And the kicker: she doesn't even wear this outfit in the actual comic, so what was even the point~?

The rest of the cover is even weirder, and thus deserves commenting on. A pastel rainbow of the other Squad members all twisting together? I don't know what it's supposed to be symbolic of, and I probably don't want to~

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, Rick Flag is dead or lost in another dimension, and thus the Suicide Squad is out a leader. That's where we pick up, with Katana posing in a skintight suit as a full-page splash. It feels kind of gratuitous, but hey, at least points for the suit not hugging every contour of her chest. Apparently, she likes to strike this pose mid-battle, as she is auditioning for the spot of team leader while also sparring with some robots. Her offer is simple: she's the only one left who's not a criminal. Waller says she sees different: since Katana talks to the ghosts in her sword, she feels at home among the crazies. However, she's not out of the running. Waller will review the other candidates, then get back to her.

So, next candidate: Captain Boomerang? Ha. Do I even need to summarise? Waller refuses to give him a raise and also takes one of his beers. He obliges to open her bottle with a boomerang toss, but denies that he killed Hack. Waller moves on to Harley Quinn, who a couple of guards are bringing food. Waller just stands back and watches as she tosses the meal asides and instead beat the shit out of the guards. Waller notes that since Flag's death, Harley's been giving in more to her darker side. And just to keep this nice and not-at-all subtle, the ghostly face of the Joker appears behind Harley as she says this. It's still a stupid direction to take her character~

Meanwhile, in New York City, Killer Croc and June Moone walk down the street, arm in arm. People panic at seeing them, which is not at all how New Yorkers would react, so they must be passing some tourists. Some asshole keeps following them around yelling "Shoot it! Someone please shoot it!", which is obnoxious. How would you feel if someone kept doing that while you were on a date? They go dancing and skating, take photos, Croc accidentally falls through a bench... It's honestly the best fucking scene in the comic. I like when Croc is depicted as more than just some brute. However, June's pretty bummed, because she can't get anyone to look at her portfolio. No one wants to hire an ex-con, and who's going to believe in someone who can become an evil witch at a moment's notice? Croc says he believes in her. Aww. I ship it~

And with that, June takes the confidence Croc has in her, gets dressed, and takes her portfolio to an office. It's basically her last chance to get someone to look at her art, and Croc even sits in the sewer below the building eating rats to support her. However, he worries that, while he wants June to get what she wants, he fears once she does, she won't want him anymore. Alas, though, her portfolio is rejected, and it's not June Moone who storms out, but the Enchantress. If they don't like June's art, let them suffer the works of Enchantress. And Manhattan is plunged into mid-day darkness...

Waller stops by Hack's room, observing how it's covered in Harley merchandise (who the heck is producing this stuff?) and wondering how anyone sane lead these people. Cosmonut, whose cell is along the way, offers his usual "peanut emoji" response,  and she says thanks for the advice, but no. Everything about Cosmonut is deeply confusing. She then passes Deadshot's cell, who tells her not to even bother asking. He already knows what happens to those who work close with Waller, gesturing with his mechanical arm. Waller tosses him the bottle she picked up from Boomerang, and he shoots it. He offers two legit reasons why she doesn't want him: A, he still plans to kill Katana for taking his arms, and 2, he always goes with the most profitable option. Being leader is not that option. Flag was leader, and now he's dead.

So we cut back to Enchantress unleashing her magics, as it were. She continues ranting until she senses a presence approaching. It's Croc carrying a cowering suit guy, who admits that it was his assistant who rejected her portfolio. He's had his own look and thinks she has promise. This is enough to sate the Enchantress and return her to her form as June Moone. Frankly, I believe between Enchantress and being carried by the collar by Croc, he probably would have admitted he was Mother Theresa. And so June dispels her magics and becomes herself again, clinging to Croc and thanking him for his help. The skies around Manhattan return to normal.

And so, the team gathers once more to hear Waller's final decision. And the new leader of the Suicide Squad will be... [drum roll, opening the envelope] Harley Quinn! No, really. She protests, but both Waller and Deadshot agree that Harley's the one that always makes the team pull together and do the job, even when the threat of the brain bombs was gone. Harley finds this to be so much bullshit that she attacks Waller, but Katana blocks the attack, which Waller counted on. That's why Katana didn't become leader: because she's much better at being subservient than leading. And with that, Waller gives the team their next mission: go assassinate Direktor Karla of the People. Man, are we still on this "the People" storyline~?

Everything else dumb and goofy about this episode is worth putting up with for the three pages or so of Croc and June having a cute domestic relationship. Can that be the whole comic from now on? Please? I know it can’t happen, I’ve read the next 18 or so issues, but seriously, I’d use up a genie wish to retroactively change them.

As for the rest of it, I hate to admit, but the choice of Harley as leader is pretty sound. She did get them to get back together and work as a team. I just don’t think it meshes well with this whole “Harley is regressing into being more like the Joker” plot, which is a stupid idea in the first place. Instead of being more like the Joker, who she hates, wouldn’t a much better story have her try to be more like Rick Flag, the guy she’s broken up about? The actually decent person on the team? It would help explain what pushed her to the heel-face turn she eventually makes in her solo series. That would be actually good storytelling~

Anyways, next issue, they’re gonna go kill Director Karla, I guess. What fun~?

[lueminous]

Change five things prompt... because I'm greedy I'm submitting two options! The 100! And I know you're also a DC fan, so I was also curious about how you'd change Suicide Squad (if you saw the film?).

oh booooy are you read for what i would change about the 100 lmao

1) have wells survive, the way he was killed was so meanspirited also him being the only black main character among the delinquents and him being the first casualty was... yeah, you’d think writers would be more aware of not killing the black man first 

2) the whole finn storyline was a mess. the writers have deliberately chosen a very short time frame for their story, so they can make their characters act like total assholes, but finn going from peacemaker to a crazy dude gunning down an entire village was too much. the plot might have worked if season 2 didnt pick up right where season 1 left off

3)not actually writing season 3A around the availability of alycia debnam-carey. the whole lexa/clarke reconciliation was too rushed and unconvincing. clarke goes from spitting into lexa’s face to making heart eyes at her again, even though clarke has always been an epic grudgeholder

4) the mount weather plot was kinda weird towards the end? the bone marrow thing?? just??? you dont have to kill people for bone marrow? in fact if theyre alive they can donate their marrow over and over again??? that was some bullshit conflict? its like they had to find a way to kill the entirety of mount weather so the show can keep being dark and edgy. maybe they could have instead worked the conflict about mount weather’s treatment of grounders that leads to friction with the Sky people.

5) i stopped watching the show very early into season 3 but i know the whole bellamy becoming staunchly anti-grounder was just really dumb, i know bellamy doesnt have to trust them but it was just so unconvincingly handled 

as for what i would change about suicide squad:

1) you know how everything goes to shit because amanda waller overestimated her ability to control enchantress. viola davis did a great job, but the writing made amanda waller come across as really incompetent, even though the reason why the suicide squad has been going on in the comics for so long is because IT WORKS. so i would actually write amanda waller as competent 

2) the movie really did not manage to balance its characters well, give killer croc and captain boomerang the same attention they gave harley, rick and deadshot

3) enchantress was a lame villain, idk why superhero movies always pick the same im gonna destroy the world villain. theyre boring and they have no personality

4) cast some normal actor as the joker

5) but if you gotta have leto as the joker, at least bring jason todd back from the dead so he can beat leto up with a crowbar. people familiar with the comic books know what i mean