#at least not in their pre-marriage stage
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what is the simon incident in s1? i consider watching bridgerton but i wanna be prepared
Hello anon I’m so sorry for the delay in my reply. Hopefully I will be able to post more on this blog for now on.
Okay, so be prepared for some heavy spoilers from season 1 of Bridgerton under the cut, as well as explicit mentions of SA as depicted in the show and book.
I think the whole Simon r*pe scene is a complicated thing to tackle properly. I’m not even sure if I’m the right person to do it, but I will try my best. I think in general, Simon and Daphne’s sexual relationship and the way they enter into it is deeply problematic. Like, from the very start.
Some context first: in the story, Simon and Daphne are both backed into a situation in which they have no other option but to get married [insert a bunch of sexist bullshit reasons here], and although they both are clearly attached to one another, they each have individual issues that prevent them from having a healthy sexual life as a couple. Simon has dramatically vowed to his father that he would never get married of have any children to pass down his family name and wealth, and Daphne doesn’t even understand what sex is.
No, really. She gets married without knowing how sex works, but Simon does have sex with her anyways, and because he doesn’t want to have children, lies by omission to her and uses the pull-out technique to avoid getting her pregnant (which, makes him a fucking idiot, if you ask me, and chances are he was going to get her pregnant at some point either way, but I digress), without actually explaining to her what he’s doing, and telling her they won’t be able to have children because he is “infertile”. That to me kinda taints the relationship from that point onward, because Simon is basically coercing Daphne into having sex without giving her all the information about their reproductive precautions (or lack thereof), or y’know, how babies are made in the first place. Now I wanna make it clear that by explaining this to you I’m not trying to justify what Daphne does to Simon next, but I want to give some context so that I can properly explain why Shonda Rhimes and Julia Quinn, the creator of the show and author of the books respectively, don’t see what Daphne did as that big of a problem.
The r*pe scene itself plays a little differently in the show and the books, though the build up to it is basically the same. Daphne finds out how babies are made and discovers that Simon has been lying to her by omission for months and gets (rightfully) angry, so she decides that the only reasonable response to this is r*ping her husband as a way of regaining her agency (???). That’s not me making shit up, it’s literally the logic SR and JQ, and also Chris Van Dusen, the show runner, used for including the scene at all (watch at min 7:30. Also, see, told you the build up and context to that scene was important!).
Now in the show Daphne goes to Simon after she premeditatedly decided to r*pe him, starts to have sex with him and then forces him to ejaculate inside of her (I don’t want to go into too much explicit details, but yeah). In the book Daphne doesn’t exactly plan on r*ping Simon, but after he drunkenly stumbles into their bed at night wanting to have sex, she agrees and then also forcefully makes him ejaculate inside her. In both cases, Simon is understandably very distressed by the situation but never receives any kind of apology or resolution for what happened, and rather he just kinda gets over it eventually.
Honestly, I’m constantly changing my mind about which one of these two versions of events is worse, but I think we can all agree both are objectively very fucked. Like, yes, Daphne, as a woman in 19th century England, is wholly dependent on her husband for literally every aspect of her life; that’s messed up and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to explore that as a theme. But the answer for her gaining agency shouldn’t be… fucking r*pe.
What’s even more frustrating to me is that it did not have to be included at all. They could’ve just as easily have the scene be about both Simon and Daphne getting drunk and having sex and in their recklessness Simon forgets to pull out and freaks out, which in turn helps Daphne realize that the suspicions she’s been having for some time now are actually true, so when she takes a stand against Simon we as an audience can actually get behind her.
(And I know what some might say: female characters should be allowed to be flawed and that we don’t need to always be on their side. That is correct. But, first of all, you don’t necessarily have to turn them into r*pists to make them complicated, and second, if you do, at least let them own up to it and don’t have the narrative frame them as the victims and justify all of their actions. I feel like the show is doing a better job at this with the character of Penelope than they ever did with Daphne, i.e., what Penelope does is shitty and her actions are presented to us as such, she even suffers consequences!).
Then to finish all of the above add in the fact that in the show Simon is black. Now obviously Simon being a white man in the book doesn’t make what happened to him okay, but I think the optics become increasingly uglier when you present it as a black man being SAed by a white woman and then the narrative putting the blame squarely on him while the white woman is presented as the real victim and she never has to apologize or make up for her actions. Just my two cents.
This isn’t the only time the Bridgerton franchise depicts SA against specifically black people. This happens in the spin-off show, Queen Charlotte, in which one of the few black female characters is repeatedly maritally r*ped by her husband while some goofy ass music plays in the background. Ugh.
Anyway, thank you for sending me this ask! This is a topic that I’ve wanted to talk about for some time now and I hope I did so with sensitivity. I’m not necessarily saying that Bridgerton has no redeeming qualities as a show, but these are important aspects to take into account if you wanna get into it. It’s definitely my biggest pet peeve with the show, to be honest. Season 2 is lit, though, even if the writing is messy.
#Anonymous#ask#ask pam#the worst part is that like. i DON’T dislike simon and daphne as a couple#at least not in their pre-marriage stage#they have chemistry and genuine friendship and a great dynamic#fake dating and my brother’s best friend??? what’s not to like???#and then they had to go and ruin it#tbh if they’d left it as an asexual relationship i think it could’ve been great lol#daphne bridgerton#simon basset#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton books#meta#my meta#i think?#again sorry for taking so long to respond#tw rape#tw sex assault
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You feel a lot like love
summary: lovesick boys & living in their head rent-free... you have no idea what you do to them, or maybe you do. ft.Riddle, Leona, Azul, (Vil, Idia, and more later if this does well) tags: crushing, pre-established relationship & established relationship, off camera date/confessions, GN reader(you/your), lovesick boys 4 u, marriage mention, Azul gets insecure but the thought of you makes it better, no beta we overblot like men
wordcount: 1200+ | Masterlist & Taglist
• Riddle Roshearts
“Attention!” Riddle’s head snapped upwards, unaware that he had zoned out; thankfully so was the professor, who was calling out some other unfortunate student. As the red haired dormwarden went through the stages of shock, simply stunned and unable to process the realisation that he was not paying attention in class. However he quickly enough settled back into the regular plane of consciousness, taking note of his surroundings and re-checking his notes, eyes widening when he spots “[Name] Rosehearts”. Oh. Riddle gulped a silent, empty breath, staring at the string of words for what felt like the longest two seconds of his life. Oh, oh how was he supposed to confess to you? As his thoughts once again abandoned the class, deciding that you have become his favourite subject, Riddle silently agreed with his subconscious to give up on paying attention in class for one day; instead focusing on you. The smitten, heart adorned dormwarden slipped out a red notebook, a journal, opening an empty page, he started to write his heart and see if he could come up with a good confession, a well-phrased way to ask you out. He could beg his beating heart to stop running laps in his ribcage, yet his mind could not be further from it as he thought of you, his other half. The dorm of heartslabyul has never known greater paranoia. Ace was fully abiding by the rules, Cater has never been faster, Trey was mentally going through the list of possible scenarios. Why? It was quiet. Too quiet. Riddle was not around, he had ghosted Trey and Cater- even after they tried to report on rule breakers; something was clearly wrong, or at least upside down and slightly to the left. Deuce was studying diligently and holding his breath, almost as if Riddle was peering over his shoulder, hell that would at least prove the dormwarden was there! This, to the heartslabyul dorm, was the cruellest joke on earth. And then Riddle came back to the dorm, for the first time ever dressed in a more.. casual look. No way in hell was on campus, judging by the soft red cardigan and absence of the NRC uniform jacket, the button up replaced by a regular black shirt with a loose, circle collar that allowed his collarbone and neck to breathe. If anyone was to be honest, this did not look like Riddle at first glance. And then at second glance all hell silently broke loose, Trey’s glasses comically cracked, Cater dropped his phone, Deuce aced a test; Riddle was placing a kiss on your wrist, leading you slowly by the arm like a gentleman. He was on a date. Unmistakably so if the red roses you held as a bouquet were anything to go by. And once again, Riddle could not care or even try to pay attention to his surroundings; as if he would want to look elsewhere while he had you to focus on.
• Leona Kingscholar
“Wakey wa– Oh fuck n-o, never mind.” Ruggie closed the door back before he even properly opened it. Leona barely huffed, rolling over to better cover your body with his; like a weighted blanket, the rumbling in his chest far too relaxing for you to stir awake. ..And yet, he couldn’t fall back asleep. Far too awake to keep his eyes closed, yet not enough to get out of bed; alone with his thoughts as he idly held your sleeping form. Sometimes he wondered if these types of mornings would end, or if he could wake up with you for the rest of his days, and he wishes he could smack himself upside down on the head for these loud what-ifs. As if he could sleep it off, feelings like these never really worked like that; it only used to make him angry, frustrated and madly irritable in the past, but now he felt scared at the possibilities those thoughts encapsulated. The ones that were possible were worse, making him wish. Wish.. it felt ridiculous to say such a word for someone so seemingly void of even the faintest hint of sunshine, Leona was not cheerful, surely not. But he was hopeful, then not; it stayed like that for a long while, until you decided to take these matters into your own hands, your considerably smaller, slender hands, soft compared to his own. He, unaware of his own, took your hands in his idle ones, feeling your palms and fingers. Leona closed his eyes as he nuzzled onto the crown of your head, comforted by the scent of your hair. In the back of his mind, his hands memorised the feel of your fingers, wondering what kind of ring you’d like best. The grumpy lion beastman mentally laughed as his morning pondering comes full circle, thinking about how you had his heart in your gentle hands.He smiled at the thought. He could be hopeful.
• Azul Ashengrotto “Takoyaki!-” Azul’s eyes widened, looking at the idle pool of ink at the base of his quill. He clicked his tongue, expression shaping up to one of frustration, and near-disgust. Lifting up his hand, he made sure that the sleeves of his uniform were not ruined, carefully taking off the stained glove and leaving the office in oddly collected fashion. The feeling was.. off, making Floyd look down to try seeing his expression, albeit unsuccessful. Azul knew the eel twin would quickly put it together, putting more effort into his steps, walking faster with hopes of not running into you. He would cry if you discovered the power you held over him and his heart. The mere possibility had him gulp in hopes of swallowing his nerves, twisting the doorknob and locking himself in his room as the ever familiar and forever disgusting feeling of tears stung his eyes once again, and Azul half haphazardly hid himself under his blankets, ignoring all noise, blocking out his own thoughts, or at least trying to. And yet, the image of you in his mind is the exact thing that brings him comfort; he lays wondering what you’d think if he made a fool of himself in front of you, only to feel conflicted when he fails to imagine a negative reaction, he knows you wouldn’t berate him for a slip up. You never even call him out when he acts out of character, going as far as to cover up for him when he messes up big time, and you never ask for anything other than his time for it when you do. “Fair enough”, it was his response the first time, now he finds himself internally craving, damn-near begging for more; haa.. He would laugh had it been anyone else’s suffering, but he’s not sure if he can even feign dislike of the situation, only ever hoping for more chances to keep this silent arrangement going. He has always been quite greedy, capitalising your affection, time, attention. And forever caught off guard by you, it seems. He nearly jumps out of his own skin when his phone notifies him with a custom ring-tone, the one he set for you. Scrambling to grab his phone swiftly and reply fast, all he sees is “I’m going over to your dorm room. Floyd said something was up with you, are you ok?” -And before he can even start typing you send another; “I’m bringing some of your favourites do you want anything” Oh you really are simply wonderful. Azul knows he means every word, replying to your messages “Just you”.
#Twisted Wonderland#Twisted Wonderland x Reader#TWST#TWST x Reader#TWST Wonderland#Riddle Roseheart#Riddle Roseheart x Reader#Riddle x Reader#TWST Riddle#TWST Leona x reader#TWST Riddle Roseheart#TWST Riddle x reader#TWST Azul x reader#Azul Ashengrotto x Reader#Twisted Wonderland Riddle#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#Leona Kingscholar#Leona Kingscholar x Reader#Leona x Reader#TWST Leona#TWST Leona Kingscholar#Twisted Wonderland Leona#Azul Ashengrotto#Azul x Reader#TWST Azul#twstnexus#Twisted Wonderland Azul Ashengrotto#Twisted Wonderland Riddle Roseheart#Twisted Wonderland Leona Kingscholar
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Forbidden Desire (Part Two)
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader
Warning: Incest (at this stage implied), Age Gap, PTSD, Domestic Abuse, Self-Harm, Fluff, Mild Smut
Words: 4,878
Summary:
This plays after Grace’s death but before Tommy becomes a politician. Lizzie is pregnant with Tommy’s child, so it is somewhere around season four.
In this fic, Tommy suffers from episodes of PTSD and so does the reader, resulting from trauma and abuse. They will help and save each other without realising that their connection is much stronger than they could have anticipated.
There will be love, fluff and smut as well as a highly taboo relationship.
PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!
QUESTION: WHO IS TOMMY TO THE READER? WHOOPS!
The following morning…
The following morning, you woke up at 4 o’clock after hearing a loud bang, followed right by another. Your neighbour was clearly beating on his wife again and you wondered when she would finally leave him and this awful marriage of hers behind.
She reminded you of your mother. Your very own mother who, for almost eighteen years, had failed to protect you and protect herself from the monster who was your stepfather.
He was the cause of your pain and suffering, hurting you and abusing you, physically and mentally, until you ran away. But still, you were one of the lucky ones having been spared the sexual abuse and assault on your womanhood. He tried, but never quite got there. Thank God.
God? What God? Was there something like a God? You decided, probably not and then there it was again, the darkness which consumed you. You had no faith and the quiet sobs at night time that no one knew about came on creeping in. The urges that overwhelmed you started to haunt you once more and the intrusive thoughts and the fear of physical contact became a stark reminder of what you have been through.
You hated every god damn moment of this but, at least today, you had something to look forward to. There was someone who was giving you a chance, an opportunity and legal employment. Although, really, the legality of this man’s businesses was questionable and you knew that. But you did not care.
He was the kind of man your mother had warned you about and yet, there was something which intrigued you about him. His demure, his attitude and his intelligence stood out to you and so did his god damn blue eyes.
Thus, with some reluctance, you eventually rolled out of bed and turned on the light. You looked down on yourself, still wearing your nightgown and, for the first time in a very long time, you saw a woman who was willing to change. It was not just about surviving anymore. It was about gaining something. Something important and real, whatever that may be.
A week ago, when you looked at yourself in the mirror, all you could see were your scars. Even now, having tattooed over some of them, the scars were still visible and you knew that they would always be.
But, this may not necessarily be a bad thing as the scars no longer defined who you are but, rather, were the remainder of times during which you were in an enormous amount of emotional pain.
On your wrist, you featured a tattoo with the words “this story isn’t over” and, whilst in today’s society, pre 1930, tattoos were frowned upon if worn by women, on the days when shame overwhelmed you, and when you felt like you could no longer go on, you looked at your tattoo and reminded yourself that your story certainly was not over yet. In fact, it had only just begun as, clearly, today was going to be the day your life would change and you felt strongly about it. You had a feeling that, today, something great would happen to you and, with that in mind, you put on a dress which, too, was stolen, and a pair of heels which were just a little too high for you to walk in. You even wore a hat which, again, you misappropriated from a small shop downtown and tugged your hair back into a neat bun with some pearl clips.
For your first day at work, you wanted to look professional even though you had no experience in administerial work whatsoever and did not quite understand what your role at Shelby Company Limited would entail.
Later at the Small Heath Gambling Den…
“That’s her, surely” Lizzie spat as Linda and her watched you walk through the door of the gambling den which, to you, was hard to find. You heard them talk about you and were nervous like a young girl on her first day of school. This was your first proper job and you were excited about it.
“You must be Y/N, Thomas’s new secretary” Lizzie then said before assessing you from top to bottom. The fact that she used his first name to refer to him surprised you but when she told you that she was about to be laid up, the situation became much more obvious to you. She was carrying his child, but he clearly did not love her enough to marry her. Typical.
“I am Y/N, but did you just say that I will be the new secretary?” you asked with great surprise while a cold shiver ran down your spine. You could neither read nor write, so how on earth would you be able to fulfill this role you wondered?
“Yes, you will be a secretary to Thomas Shelby who, I may add, is very demanding in many ways” Lizzie exclaimed in response to your question.
“No doubt he is” you simply responded while glancing at her growing bump with a little jealousy perhaps, seeing that you took at least a mild interest in your new employer.
“I assume you have experience and this is why he hired you?” was the next question Lizzie asked you and she now spoke to you in an almost snobbish way, looking down on you which, of course, was not too difficult. She was much taller than you after all and absolutely, drop-dead gorgeous.
“Actually, no, I do not! I have no experience in this line of work. I only met Mr Shelby last night and he offered me a job. I didn’t even know what the job would entail but, stupidly enough, I accepted anyway as I need the money” you explained with honesty and this surprised Lizzie who, clearly, was expecting some competition at the den.
“Where did you meet?” another woman then asked before shaking your hand and introducing herself as Polly Gray. She was clearly of authority around here and took a good look at you as well.
The way she looked at you however was different to the way Lizzie looked at you. Lizzie’s looks were filled with anger, fear and concern as well as some jealousy, whereas Polly’s looks were filled with questions about your identity. She saw a familiarity inside of you which she could not explain.
“Have we met before? You seem familiar” she observed but you shook your head.
“Not that I know off” you told her but Polly’s intuition told her to keep an eye on you and figure out to whom you belonged. She felt a connection towards you and this was not necessarily a good thing.
“Very well, so tell me again, where did you and Tommy meet last night?” she then asked and you swallowed harshly.
“At Madam Juans” you then admitted, causing Polly to roll her eyes and laugh while Lizzie stormed off and took a seat behind her desk which, apparently, would become your desk soon.
“Men and their cocks never cease to amaze me” Polly chuckled while giving you a sorry pat on the back and you were quick to shake your head in order to correct her.
“Oh no. You misunderstand. We did not have intimate relations” you blurted out quickly without admitting that, in fact, you had never even been kissed before. Intimacy was alien to you and you were afraid of being hurt by a man in any physical kind of way after your stepfather had beaten the living hell out of you for years.
“You did not have sex?” Lizzie asked, confused. “But you are a whore?” she then queried and you shook your head.
“No. I am not. I am waitress there. That is all” you explained while Polly chuckled again.
“Interesting, but unfortunately, I must go now. I have several meetings to attend to Lizzie will show you the robes around here and, no doubt, Thomas will be in his office sometime today, or not. You never know with him” Polly said before making an elegant exit from the den while pondering on about your identity and Tommy’s urge to employ you without consulting with her first.
Several hours later…
Several more hours had passed and you were shown how to take calls and take notes which, luckily for you, Lizzie still had control over.
You had not yet admitted to her that you could neither read nor write and you knew that, as soon as she would find out, all hell would break loose.
Since you started at nine o’clock that morning, Tommy too had arrived in his office but, without even greeting you or Lizzie, he closed the door behind him and you had not heard from him since.
Lizzie informed you that, on occasion, he likes to keep to himself and, clearly, today was one of those occasions.
“Can you type?” she eventually asked and you shook your head before, finally, she saw you to her desk.
“Of course you can’t. That is not why he hired you” she then murmured under her breath and you queried what she had meant by that.
“Pardon?” you began to say and Lizzie sighed while setting up the typewriter for you.
“Never mind. I will have to fucking show you how to type then, don’t I?” she spat and then began dictating a letter to you which, clearly, you failed to transcribe properly.
“You can’t write” she then observed angrily and you nervously shook your head. You were embarrassed and nervous about loosing this job, the money for which you needed so desperately.
“Well, then me teaching you is absolutely pointless” Lizzie then said before storming off and into Tommy’s office without even bothering to knock first.
***
Several minutes later, and after some shouting and yelling from behind closed doors, you saw Lizzie again but she did not speak with you. She simply reached for her coat and bag, before storming off and leaving the den a little less graciously than Polly Gray did earlier that day. Clearly, she was angered by the fact that you were working here and you well and truly hoped that Tommy would not fire you over this.
But then again, who were you kidding, right? You could neither read nor write, so what would he do with you? Put you up in a factory, perhaps?
And then, there it was…the moment you feared…
“Y/N, a word please” Tommy said to you while poking his head through the door and you immediately jumped up from your seat and stumbled towards his office.
The height of your new heels certainly did not help with your trembling legs and, as you were fidgeting nervously when entering his office, you tripped and almost twisted your ankle.
‘I am sorry Mr Shelby’ you huffed out with embarrassment as you watched him watching you stumbling into the side of the bookshelf.
It was obvious to you that he tried hard not to laugh about what had just happened, but a small chuckle escaped him nonetheless.
‘Love, please take them off before you hurt yourself, eh’ Tommy said with a half-smile but it was when he looked at you directly that you felt your hands inevitably began to shake slightly. You weren’t that intimidated by him when you saw him at the brothel last night and you wondered yourself what had changed since then, within a span of twenty hours. He was your employer now, sure, but was that it? Or was there something more to it? Maybe it was the fact that he was about to fire you which made you nervous or maybe it was him, his eyes and his intoxicating scent.
Even though Tommy was slightly amused by your little accident, his eyes were both your favourite and least favourite feature about him. You noticed them last night too, so intimidating and yet soothing all at the same time. They were deep blue, and absolutely piercing when he made direct eye contact. It gave you a strange sense of fear, and you now found yourself looking down when you spoke to him, afraid that, if you made direct eye contact, you might lose your train of thought.
‘Have a seat next to me’ Tommy then instructed after you took off your shoes and approached his desk, tippy toeing across the very cold wooden floor.
He then glanced at your shoes again and smirked. “You stole them, didn’t you?” he asked and you nodded shyly.
“Yes. I did” you said, chuckling nervously.
“Well, perhaps next time, you should steal some shoes you can actually walk in Love” Tommy said with a great sense of amusement before asking you a very important question.
“Do you know what I do for a living?” he wanted to know and you shook your head.
“I have heard stories, but I don’t believe them to be true. I know that you own factories and gambling dens, but that is all” you said shyly, causing Tommy to cock his eyebrows.
“Tell me honestly Love, do you not believe them to be true or do you not want them to be true. Because, the way I see it, there is a distinct difference between those two scenarios” Tommy then said before pulling a chair to his side and gesturing for you to sit down.
“Okay. I know that some of what you do is probably illegal, but I do not care. I just want this job” you told Tommy who smirked before giving you a slight nod.
“You want the job, eh?” Tommy asked with a smirk on his face before handing you his pen. “Then write down the names of every mistress taking pay offs from my customers at Madam Juans” Tommy then said and you immediately had to grasp for air.
“I can’t” you said, fidgeting again before realising quickly how terribly embarrassing you must have looked in front of this man right now. This was not the look you were aiming for.
‘Do I intimidate you Love? Is that why you cannot write down the names?’ Tommy then asked bluntly, looking at you with a slight smirk on his face again as you continued to fidget even more nervously now.
‘No Mr Shelby’ you said nervously, causing him to chuckle.
‘No?’ he then asked with a smug smile and you immediately looked away from him. This was too much for you and, if he had not asked you another question right away, drilling you for an answer, you would have stood up and left.
‘Look at me and tell me the truth Y/N. Do I intimidate you?’ Tommy asked again and you complied with his request and told him the truth.
‘Yes, you intimidate me. But that is not the reason I cannot write down the names’ you said shyly while looking into his piercing blue eyes.
‘You can’t write or read, can you?’ Tommy then said almost gently and it was clear to you that he already knew. Lizzie must have told him and he was simply teasing you now, playing a game of some sort.
“No, I can’t write and I can’t read” you admitted reluctantly and it was at this point that Tommy lid himself a cigarette and leaned back into his chair.
“In that case, you are fired as a secretary” he smirked, causing you to gasp for air again. You were devastated, needing this job and the money he had offered you.
“I understand” you said nonetheless and Tommy smiled.
“But, I have another job for you Love” he then said, taking you by surprise. “Just because you did not learn how to write or read doesn’t mean that you are not smart and smart people is what I need right now as my export business is expanding” he then said before asking you to pour him and yourself a glass of whiskey.
‘You think that I am smart, do you?” you asked, causing Tommy to chuckle once more.
“I know that you are smart. You stole from my patrons and you got away with it for several months. You just couldn’t fool me, eh” Tommy observed before making another sly remark. “In fact, no one can fool me” he determined and you broke out in a giggle.
“Really? No one?” you asked as you stood up and walked over towards the desk on which the whiskey bottles were standing and, just as you walked there, you could feel Tommy’s eyes on you, watching you as you walked across his office barefooted.
“No, no one I have met so far” Tommy said while taking in your natural beauty and the scent you left behind.
“You are very full of yourself” you then said as you took hold of a whiskey bottle and poured two glasses from it before walking back with them to where Tommy was sitting.
“And you do not believe in yourself or your abilities Love. We need to change that” Tommy then said as you sat back down and handed him a glass while taking the other for yourself.
***
Just as you were sipping on your whiskey while talking with Tommy about the mistresses at Madam Juan and the job he had for you, you began to relax a little. Your mind was clearly eased by the effects of the alcohol you consumed and you began to realise why Lizzie took a liking in this man.
He was incredibly attractive but also charming in his very own and somewhat brutal way. Then there was his voice, low and gruffy, making it difficult for you to concentrate. He was burdened with intellect and, for some reason, he spoke to you as if you were his kin.
You drank and spoke for hours. You talked about your life which Tommy seemed to be interested in. He asked you about your family ties, doing his research on your background before revealing more of his businesses to you.
You told him about your mother but purposely omitted reference to your father.
“What about your father?” he thus asked and you sighed deeply.
“I never knew my father. My mother always said that he was a dangerous man so she kept me away from him. All I know is that he went to France with his two younger brothers and never came back” you said, causing Tommy to furrow his eyebrows. This, he did not know about you but, before he could question you about your biological father again, you explained to him that you grew up with your mother and your stepfather who you considered to be an evil man.
“Did he do this to you?” Tommy then asked while trying to get hold of one of your wrists but you pulled away abruptly in fear.
“Please don’t” you said and Tommy was quick to apologise. Your wrists were clearly off limit and he respected that.
“I am sorry Love. I did not intend to hurt you” he was then quick to say after seeing your reaction. You had almost dropped your glass to the floor and started fidgeting again.
“It’s fine…and no, I did this to myself” you told him, which is when he recalled that, at the brothel, you too were afraid of his touch and he knew that there must have been a reason for this. There was something that bothered you. You clearly did not like to be held or restrained and he wondered what it was that made you so fearful.
In addition to that, Tommy remembered that, at the brothel, you were wearing long satin gloves, seemingly in an attempt to hide your scars, of which he got a closer look now. Your arms were covered in them and, once again, you tried to cover them up with your jacket.
“Let’s talk about something else, eh” Tommy eventually suggested after you began to feel rather vulnerable around him and, with that, you nodded before simply listening to Tommy’s ideas about how to improve his businesses and how he thought you could help him with that. This conversation took at least another hour and you were in a cheerful mood again. You were laughing and, much to his very own surprise, Tommy did the same. He laughed, genuinely, for the first time in two years.
As you were talking about business, you stammered out some ideas as well, easing into the conversation as you scribbled down a point in your notebook that you were sure would make no sense to your later.
“So you can write” Tommy then observed sarcastically and you shook your head.
“Barely and not without spelling mistakes” you chuckled just before Tommy asked you to pour the two of you some more whiskey.
‘Yes, of course Mr Shelby’ you said, looking at your watch before walking back over towards the sideboard and pouring Tommy and yourself another glass of Irish single malt.
‘Please, just call me Tommy, eh’ he said as you handed him back his glass, causing you to smile.
‘Okay, Tommy, but if this is your way of making an advance towards me, then I must disappoint you…” you teased and, whilst this was meant to come across as a joke, Tommy did not see it that way and cut you off.
“Love, if I was to make an advance towards you, then I would not be doing it through words” Tommy chuckled before moving on. “I would be doing this instead…” he then said before, ever so gently, caressing your face and then, in a careful but calculated move, pressing his soft lips against yours in order to see how you would react.
You immediately froze but allowed the kiss to happen nonetheless. It was your very first kiss and it happened so suddenly; with a man you barely knew but who, for whatever reason, you trusted enough to take this further.
You just had a feeling about him. It was a feeling of comfort and safety and you knew that, provided that his hands remained where they were now, namely caressing your cheeks, you would be able to tolerate his touch, and perhaps even enjoy it.
When he kissed you passionately, you could sense that he was taking it slowly. As such, the kiss was reluctant at first and you could taste the remnants of smoke and whiskey on his lips.
His lips were so surprisingly soft and smooth against your own and, as Tommy moved them sensually, a warmth flooded your body, causing you to feel desired for the time in your life.
There was no pressure or force in this kiss. It was tender and calm and you felt Tommy’s lips massage every inch of your mouth in the most sensual way.
His rough thumbs moved over the soft skin on your cheeks, over and over again and, without hesitation, you responded to his touch, your passion increasing the longer it went on.
With every second that passed, there was a new sensation you had to take in and it was after at least a minute that Tommy reached out slightly with his tongue. He ran the tip along the length of your lips, probing away where you joined, seeking an opportunity to dip inside. By now, your mind was awash with arousal, a sensation which, too, was alien and foreign to you. Any apprehension you had just vanished, and you just wanted more.
You gasped under your breath and your hands eventually found their way into Tommy’s hair. No sooner had you parted your lips, no sooner had you given him an opening, than you felt the tip of his tongue ease inside. You gasped once more as your tongues touched, a sense of electricity passing through you.
The more you kissed, the more you relaxed. The more you relaxed, the more you wanted him. And, the more you wanted him, the more you felt your arousal stir.
What on earth was this feeling? So strange. So alien. So goddamn amazing…until, suddenly Tommy pulled away. He broke the kiss, leaving you wanting for more. You started to protest, but Tommy simply brought a finger to your lips urging you not to continue.
"I am sorry Love” Tommy spoke softly.
“For kissing me?” you queried while shyly bringing your middle and index finger to your lips, feeling them after they have been kissed for the very first time. They felt swollen and moist and you bit your lower lip inadvertently, wanting to feel Tommy’s mouth against yours again.
“No, that I am not sorry for” Tommy chuckled. “But I am sorry for my motive having been two-fold when offering you employment at my company. So, I must ask, do you still want the job knowing that I have taken an interest in you?” Tommy then asked and you blushed.
“Well, Tommy…” you began to say while trying to find your words. “Yes. In fact, I believe that my appetite for the position in your company has just increased quite drastically” you then said shyly while Tommy caressed your cheek again.
“Good. I am glad” Tommy smiled before kissing you once more, this time more briefly. He knew that this must have been a first for you and he also knew that you must have been about fifteen years younger than him. He could tell by the way you had reacted to his onslaught and, with that in mind, he didn’t take it any further than that. He was patient, giving you time, regardless of how much he wanted you and, the truth was, that he wanted you a lot. He wanted you more than anyone else since the day he had met Grace. He was in awe with you and, feeling that way again, worried him. He felt alive and when he felt alive, he knew that he would do dangerous things.
To be continued…
Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!
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there | h.js
I'm thinking about you, in this place without you, in this placе where we usеd to be together, I still think of you all the time
wc: 7.4k
genre: childhood best friends to strangers to ???; gn!reader; idiots in love; fluff; angst.
cw: slight mentions of parenthood (they’re not parents); mentions of marriage; broken promises?; secrets; paced throughout the entirety of their career up to date (2023); panic attack; roomies are based of my irls; Eve actually has amazing luck and gets her bias in legit every single album; was not initially inspired by There, that song just really freaking fits this story
roadmap: starts in present; jumps back to pre-debut; tracks readers perspective throughout the years; ends back in present (The SOUND + 5 Star era)
Friendships don’t always end because of things you can’t come back from, they don’t always end in a spectacular burst of harsh words and emotions. A majority of the time, they end due to distance, fizzling slowly until it dies out all together, people with shared memories and experiences becoming virtual strangers.
But should that mean the promises you made to one another should die along with it?
You had never thought so, which is what brought you to this crowded stadium, standing amongst people who are a little too much like you, watching the man that you once knew better than you knew yourself performing, shining brighter than the sun.
Han Jisung was where he was meant to be, doing what he loved with friends that get to share the experience. Friends that are important to him and you believe always will be. Unlike you.
Sure, the version of you he last knew all those years ago is likely still a fond memory to him, you’re sure he thinks about you at least every once in a while, wonders what you’re doing now—at least you hope he does.
Truth is, being an idol doesn’t leave space for that kind of stuff. It’s isolating work; family, friendships outside of your members and other idols, a private life, it’s hard to maintain, which is why you never took it personally when the daily calls turned to weekly texts, monthly updates, and eventually nothing at all.
There were times you were tempted to message him, tell him you’re proud of him, that you miss him. But frankly, you don’t even know if he still has your number, or if the one you have is still his.
The albums littering your bookshelf that you had bought and spent hours listening to together had been joined by untouched copies of basically any Stray Kids album you could get your hands on. His photocards were now littered amongst the polaroids and cut up school yearbook pictures the two of you decorated your old bedroom walls with, all of them somehow surviving your move to America.
Sometimes you wonder what he’d think if he’d see your room now. The Jisung you knew would’ve joked with you, asking if you were secretly in love with him or if you just finally accepted he was the prettier best friend. But the Jisung in the photocards was a stranger to you. You felt more like a fan, a fellow Stay harboring a parasocial relationship with eight boys that you’ll likely never speak to, than you did an old friend.
But you were content with it all. Your best friend will always be your best friend, even if you never have another movie night with asinine amounts of junk food. Even if you never again get to see his unruly curls in the midday lighting as you eat breakfast together at lunch time. Even if your children only ever know him by your stories and his stage persona.
Promises were sacred to you, so even when you are painfully aware you’re no longer his best friend, you keep the promise you made all those years ago to your best friend. You support him with no question or hesitation. So when you heard Stray Kids were performing in your city, you didn’t hesitate to buy the overpriced ticket.
````
“How crazy would it be if Chan-hyung’s idea actually works? Think about it, your best friend could be an idol someday!”
You laughed at his quiet excitement. During his time at JYP Entertainment as a trainee, you’d grown fond of his two friends, Chan and Changbin, having quickly become 3Racha’s first fan and biggest supporter.
“I can’t wait to tell interviewers embarrassing stories from your childhood.”
“Go right ahead, you were by my side for all of them so they’re your embarrassing stories too!”
The both of you laughed, knowing he was right, and while the banter continued on like that, discussing the what if’s of Chan’s success, you couldn’t help but start to wonder where you’d truly fit into the narrative.
Bang Chan had gotten tired of sitting on the sidelines, patiently waiting his turn, quietly holding his breath every time groups were formed, hoping his name would be amongst them. You knew he’d been there longer than anyone, he likely knew more people in the industry personally than you could hope to even as a fan, and he knew how to have a successful group, he’d seen enough of them come out of his time as a trainee. So you hadn’t been shocked when Jisung had told you about his idea and he systematically started hand picking eight other trainees and approaching them with it, starting with Jisung and Changbin.
You hadn’t officially met the others Chan had chosen, but you had seen them practicing when you brought Jisung his lunch that he had forgotten at your place.
For a rag tag group thrown together by a trainee, they were pretty good already and you could see them being very successful one day.
````
“You’re gonna come to all our shows, right?”
Jisung was starting to get nervous about the plan. It’s been going well thus far, they had been chosen to debut but were now being put through the ringer to ensure they were to the companies standards.
The boys had barely taken any breaks since being tasked with composing and choreographing a song entirely by themselves. You’d heard Jisung practicing non-stop, even while you were supposed to be having movie night. You knew he was more nervous than he’d own up to, but you also knew when he set his mind to something, he’d see it through to the end.
“All of them sounds unrealistic, Ji.” He pouted at your response, obviously disappointed. You just chuckled and shook your head. “How about this, I pinky promise swear that no matter what, I will attend every single show put on, in my area. Okay? Even if we get into some devastating argument and never talk again, even if we somehow lose communication and haven’t spoken in years, even if we get married and I four rugrats to deal with, I’ll be at every single one near me. Deal?” You held your pinky out for him to link his with.
“Three things. One, are you in love with me or something? You want my kids, Y/n/n~?” You both laughed as he teased you, tickling your sides, before he got serious. “Secondly, I’ll never let either of those other things happen. Ever. You’re my best friend. Nothing, not even becoming an idol, is going to change that. You are so stuck with me for the rest of your miserable life.”
“Does that mean marriage isn’t off the table for you?” You interrupted him, attempting to tease him back.
“If it means never losing you, I’ll put a ring on it right here, right now.”
Your breath caught in your throat at the complete sincerity in his eyes.
“You’re never gonna lose me either way, Ji.” You said softly, watching as his face softened before he finally linked his pinky with yours.
“Then every show near you sounds good enough for me.” He kissed the back of your hand, pinkies still linked together, and you kissed his, sealing the promise.
````
The crowd held its breath as they awaited the final judgment on the fate of Stray Kids.
You didn’t know Minho or Felix very well at all, having only spent a handful of short lived conversations in each others company, but the way Jisung had cried until he passed out and slept through the night on your couch after Minho had been eliminated from the group, and then shortly after did it again for Felix, you didn’t have to know them personally to know you needed all nine boys to be accepted. Stray Kids were nine, and you didn’t think you could accept it any other way.
So to say the relief and joy you felt at the announcement that they would debut as nine felt all consuming would probably be an understatement. All you wanted to do was drag the boys into a big hug and congratulate them.
As they finally left the stage, you couldn’t hold yourself back from running to meet a relieved and ecstatic Jisung.
“We did it!” He yelled, catching you in his arms and swinging you around. He set you down, his hands moving to cup both sides of your face, squishing your cheeks gently and shaking you. “We actually did it, Y/n/n! We’re debuting!”
“I know Ji, I saw.” You laughed, returning his gesture. You quickly made your rounds, congratulating the rest of the boys and hugging Minho and Felix tightly, before returning to Jisungs side and joining them for their celebrations.
````
The boys got pretty busy pretty fast after that and the time spent with your best friend decreased rapidly, but he always texted you every chance he got and would call or skype you as he was settling down for the night. Oftentimes, his phone would get high-jacked and passed around through his members while his protests could be heard in the background. You weren’t as close with the rest of them as you were with Jisung, but they had quickly become your boys and you couldn’t be prouder of all of them and prouder to call them your friends.
Which just made it hurt all the worse when the nightly chaos calls slowly turned into weekly at best calls.
You understood, you wouldn’t feel like a very good friend if you didn’t, but you still missed all of them like crazy. You wished you could be by their side instead of watching from the sidelines.
A part of you knew you could be, that you didn’t have to put yourself through this pain if you just owned up and confessed. But telling your best friend since diapers that you’re in love with him, even if you’re pretty damn sure it’s mutual, is too terrifying a concept to consider.
You knew being an idols partner would be stressful, but it would also give you a lot more time to spend with the boys. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, the risk of you being wrong and him not feeling the same weighing too heavily. The best case scenario would be you were right, you’d never have to leave your best friend's side, you’d be at every show like he’d wanted, you’d be there for everything; but worst scenario, you lose your best friend and the boy you love in one swoop, as well as the rest of your closest friends.
You’d rather deal with the spotty texts and irregular calls than creating an unfixable rift.
````
Despite the damn near radio silence you’d endured while they traveled their first year as an actual group, you still made sure to keep the promise you’d made and bought a ticket to a small local show they’d be doing.
You texted Jisung a picture of the ticket, not really expecting a response and being pleasantly surprised when he texted back a very Jisung response.
SUNGIE: I knew you were secretly in love with me
Followed by a string of unrelated emojis. Your phone buzzed again with another text.
SUNGIE: the boys want to know if you’d be down to get food and catch up after the show, I already told them yes, you don’t have a choice, I miss my best friend
You couldn’t help the giddy feeling that arose in your chest at his messages, he was right for accepting on your behalf, you would never turn down the opportunity to spend time with your friends, but especially not Jisung.
You typed up a quick reply, agreeing and telling him you’d see them all at the concert.
The rest of the week couldn’t go by fast enough. Texts with Jisung had become a little more regular again, both of you excited for some time together, and you’d even gotten a call in. You were counting down the minutes to the concert, antsy to see your friends again.
Your roommate helped you pick out an outfit for the concert because “there’s no way you’ll be representing in jeans and a t-shirt, we’re going to look sexy as fuck.” and you couldn’t find it in you to argue.
When the night finally arrived and you were situated next to your roommate not far from the stage, you couldn’t shake the anxiousness at seeing them again. They were your friends, and they always would be, but you wondered how much they’d changed in the year you’d been separated; you wondered if they’d still act like your friends.
Your fears were relieved fairly quickly as they finally took the stage. It only took about three songs for Felix to spot you, lighting up the moment he did and running around to inform the others. Throughout the show they each took moments to find you to wave subtly. It eased your mind knowing they seemed as happy to see you as you were them.
After the show, you and your roommate waited until most of the crowd died off before you said your goodbyes, your roommate heading for the exit as you headed towards the side of the stage, grinning and walking faster when you noticed Jisung peeking around the corner and waving when he spotted you.
You threw your arms around him the second you got to him, happy to finally have your best friend back.
It didn’t take long for the rest of the boys to crash your reunion, quickly dragging you into a group hug.
“Hey back off! This is my bestie, all of you can go find your own.” Jisung pouted, but you could see how his eyes softened as his eight new best friends embraced you and accepted you as a part of their little family.
````
“Woojin, who has been with Stray Kids as a member until this time, has left the group due to personal circumstances and terminated his exclusive contract.”
You couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in your eyes as you read the headline. You had just had lunch with all of the boys a few weeks prior and everything seemed fine, they were excited for their blossoming career together. Not one of them, not even Jisung, had let on to anything.
You felt you had at least a bit of a reason to feel hurt, they were your closest friends and you had to learn one was splitting from the group through a gossip site. Before you could think, you were outside the boys dorm, hand raised to knock, when voices stopped you when you heard your name, making a mental note to tell the boys to shut their windows.
“I just don’t understand why we didn’t tell Y/n.” Jisung sounded defeated.
“It’s not that we didn’t want to, Hannie, it’s just that the least outsiders that know the truth, the better.” “Y/n isn’t an outsider! They’re my best friend, they wouldn’t say anything to anyone.”
“We just, we can’t guarantee that. I love them, they’re a wonderful friend, but they’re not a part of this world Han. They wouldn’t understand and we can’t risk it. The next few months are going to be hard enough on Stay, nine or none is dead and we’re tasked with moving along like it’s nothing, the last thing we need right now is anything getting misconstrued.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened in. You could understand where Chan was coming from, but it still hurt hearing he couldn’t bring himself to trust you.
You wiped your eyes and finally knocked, not wanting to just vanish. They were still your friends.
“Hey, you guys seriously need to remember to shut your windows, I could hear Changbin from the driveway.” You laughed as you let yourself in, hugging Chan as you passed him before joining Jisung on the couch. It wasn’t long before other members started filing into the living room, presumably to see you, but you suspected it was more due to the safety and assurance that Chan and Jisung were done with their conversation as long as you were present.
“I heard the news by the way, I’m sorry this is happening. But hey! Maybe some good news can lighten the room.” You took a deep breath, nervous knowing your news would absolutely not help anything. “I got a huge promotion at work.” You grinned, fiddling with your hands, which Jisung and Chan both picked up on immediately.
You hadn’t mentioned being up for promotion, mostly because you weren’t even positive you’d get it, let alone accept it, but with a world tour on the horizon for the boys, and now the addition of being reminded you weren’t anything more than a normal level friend, you figured why not, what would be keeping you in Seoul anyway?
Congratulations and excitement filled the room, you smiled, thanking everyone for being happy for you, but your smile faded when Jisung’s hands covered yours, stopping your nervous fidgeting. He refused to meet your eyes.
“What’s the bad news?” He asked softly, eyes glued to where his hands were holding yours.
The excitement in the room felt as if it was sucked out by a vacuum, you tried to smile, already shaking your head to say there wasn’t any, but it died on your throat when Jisung’s eyes finally met yours, his brown eyes shining as he looked at you. “Don’t lie to me, please.” He whispered.
You slouched in defeat. “It was meant to be exciting news to cheer everyone up, Sungie. I mean, it’s not necessarily bad news, per se, it could be a really great thing even, you know?”
Jisung cut off your rambling by squeezing your hand. Giving you a look that said ‘get on with it.’
“The promotion is to an American branch.”
````
Jisung had somehow convinced his management to give him enough time off to help you move, no matter how much you insisted he didn’t need to.
You had been busy cleaning out your closet, packing what to keep and piling up things you didn’t, figuring you could donate them, with your music blasting, none the wiser to the eight boys standing in your doorway.
“Do they always keep the music this loud?”
The shouted question startled you. You whipped around in shock before rushing to lower the volume to greet your friends.
“Yes. Yes they do.” Jisung grinned teasingly as he pulled you into a hug. “I brought some extra hands, hope you don’t mind.” He said before kissing the top of your head and releasing you, whistling as he looked at the walls, still covered in pictures of the both of you, and some with the rest of the guys.
Seungmin was pointing out ridiculous pictures of Jisung to Jeongin and Minho laughed as he noticed a baby picture of the younger member.
“Hyung, maybe we should ask Y/n for young pictures of Han instead of him or his family.”
Jisung groaned at that and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“I mean, there’s a lot of pictures here, so if you see any you’d like to keep, go for it. Most of them will likely just stay in a memory box while I’m overseas anyways.”
The look of utter betrayal Jisung shot you just made you laugh harder as you patted his shoulder and put all the boys to work.
````
“Y/N! STRAY KIDS RELEASED A NEW ALBUM!”
It had been a year since you moved to America, and a year with your new roomies, whom you loved dearly. Throughout that year, the Kids had been garnering more and more popularity.
You learned Eve and Nat, twins that were complete opposites in almost every way, had watched the entire Elimination Show as it was airing and Nat actually cried in relief when it was announced they’d debut as nine; Noel, a blunt and chaotic content creator, was a bit picky and admittedly didn’t like all of their music, but she loved them as people and would flood the house group chat with reels and tiktoks, her bias is Chan; and it took a little while for Lia, a tiny italian, to get in to them, but Eve was adamant that all roomies had to be Stays and when the twins had K-pop blasting through the house pretty much non-stop, it’s hard not to get pulled in.
You still kept in contact with the boys to some extent, it wasn’t as drop out of touch as the first year was, but you could tell the distance was growing again. When the day came that you no longer contacted one another, you wouldn’t be surprised. You brought yourself to look at it as you were thankful for the extra time you were given, you’d assume most idols lose contact with people of their past life fairly quickly.
You had never told your roommates about your connection to the band, not because you didn’t trust them and adore them but because it felt too risky. They could try to use you to get to the boys, or just flat out tell you to take your delulu meds. It hurt, thinking your closest friends might abandon you because of that kind of knowledge, it helped you understand Chan a little more with the Woojin situation.
Your door burst open, any semblance of privacy pretty well gone when it came to Eve’s excitement.
“Did you hear me?? A new album! They take such good care of us!” She fake cried dramatically as she sprawled out on your bed.
Eve was followed shortly by Lia, holding a cup of coffee with six tally marks drawn on it, indicating it was her sixth cup of the day; and Noel carrying a camera, likely having filmed the entire invasion.
“Yes I heard, I think the whole neighborhood did.” You laughed, playing with the girls hair. “Are you going to play this new album or just continue to shout about it?”
Eve groaned. “We have to wait until stupid Nat gets home, who even made the stupid rule about new album drops having to be group listening parties anyways?” She grumbled as you and your other roommates tried to hold back your laughter.
“You did, babe.” Lia giggled, sipping her coffee and joining the two of you on your bed.
Life with them often meant no privacy, the amount of times all five of you have ended up sleeping in one bed for the night was crazy, seeing as you all have your own rooms. There were a lot of blurred lines within your house, but you loved it and wouldn’t change it for almost anything.
“So who is this in all your pictures anyways? I don’t think I’ve ever asked before.” Noel mumbled as she walked around your room, camera in hand.
“I’ll tell you if you don’t use that footage you’re getting.” You joked.
“Deal!” Lia agreed on her behalf, setting her mug down and wrestling the camera from Noel to shut off the recording.
“Tell us. We’ve all been dying to know. You never talk about your past.”
You hesitated for only a moment before relaxing into your pillows.
“His name is Jisung, in all the photos. He’s my best friend, we grew up together but we don’t talk all that much anymore. His career distanced him, and mine obviously didn’t help that. It’s simple as that. We talk maybe once every few months now.”
“Are you in love with your Jisung?” Eve asked, blue eyes staring up at you with a childlike twinkle.
“Yeah, I am.”
The girls giggled and you hid your face in your pillow to avoid the teasing until Nat walked in, asking what was going on, and immediately getting updated. He joined in on the teasing, which thankfully only lasted until Eve remembered Stray Kids’ new album NOEASY.
````
“I swear, you being besties with a boy named Jisung gives you insane luck or something, how are you always pulling Han? Honestly at this point I think you have just as many Han Jisung photo cards on your walls as you do pictures of your Jisung. You’re so lucky your bias is so easy for you to get. Five target exclusive albums and not ONE Felix photocard. Like, don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly content with my Changbin, Innie, and Seungmin cards, but how did not a single one of us pull a Lixie?!” Eve banged her head against the wall as she rambled.
Nat rolled his eyes at her and immediately got smacked by the girl tucked under his arm.
“Ow! What the hell Lia, I didn’t say anything.”
“Don’t be rolling your eyes at my baby girl.” Lia said threateningly.
“For the last time, you’re dating me, not my sister, please stop calling her your baby girl.”
“Oh please, brother. I could steal your girl anytime I want and we all know it.” Eve giggled, finally snapping out of her rambling state to tease her brother. Lia blew her a kiss, sending her a wink.
“We can steal girlfriends another time, right now we’re going to be late for dinner, and we all know how James can get about his dinners.” Noel rolled her eyes at the trio as she put her camera away, having filmed everyone opening their albums. She has so much content of Lia and Eve flirting with each other that a good amount of her viewers have started theorizing that Nat is Lia’s beard.
James is the twins' father. After the twins had moved out he had insisted they come home once a week for a family dinner, the invite was quickly extended to the rest of the household as James seemed to systematically adopt everyone. You had never complained because it was a day off from feeding the household and because James was actually an amazing cook.
```
“We’re going. I don’t care if I have to throw you all into my car forcefully, we are going to this concert.” Lia stated as the roommates were gathered in the living room looking at the tour dates announcement. “I don’t care if I have to drive the whole nine hours by myself, I am not missing this concert.”
Stray Kids were playing only a few states away and everyone but you had missed them the last time they’d been so close due to having already had tickets to something that same weekend. The only reason you hadn’t missed it was because you’d been in the city of the concert for business and delayed your flight a day to see them. You’d felt bad for seeing them without your roommates and best friends of three years, but you would have felt more bad breaking a promise to your best friend of much, much longer.
“And you!” Lia turned her eyes on you, pinning you with a scolding motherly glare. “No running off and seeing them by yourself again! We’re all going to see our boys and that is final.”
You weren’t about to argue with her, and no one else seemed to want to either, so everyone set reminders for the day tickets would go on sale and started plotting outfits for the concert.
```
The energy in the crowd was indescribable, the excitement all around you made the hairs on your arms stand up. You could feel nerves bubbling up in your stomach, yes you’d seen the boys plenty of times since you all lost touch, but you’d always actively avoided any seat that could potentially be seen from stage, but the tickets went on sale whilst you were in a crucial meeting and Lia, being the groups sugar momma, bought only the best she could get her hands on, landed you about three rows from front and center.
An excited hush fell over the crowd as the lights dimmed, everyone pressing forward just a little to try and get that much closer to the people coming up on the stage, but you just wanted to turn tail and run.
Nat grabbed your hand, squeezing it as if he could sense your nerves. It wouldn’t surprise you, of all your roommates, Nathaniel had always been the one to pick up on peoples emotions the easiest and he had always had a keen sense of awareness to things he shouldn’t be aware of.
The lights burst with the opening chords of the first song of the evening and an odd mixture of pride and nausea hits you as screams drown everything out and the boys finally come into proper view.
“Deep breaths honey. You’re okay.” Nat’s comforting voice whispers into your ear, his hands squeezing a little tighter, grounding you. “Just have fun, don’t worry about him.”
Whipping your head to look at him, you see a knowing glint in his eyes and as he nods his head back towards the stage, you realized he’d pieced it together.
How does he know? Do they all know?
He smiles once more, squeezing again, before looking away and releasing you entirely, joining the throngs of people screaming and enjoying the show. You look back towards the stage, noting how much each of your old friends have changed over the years.
You let your nerves slowly slip away as you let yourself enjoy the promise you’ve always upheld and support your friend by screaming along and dancing with the rest of the crowd.
```
Your anxieties of earlier had been completely forgotten by the time the halfway point hit. As the lights come up to allow people a small intermission to use the bathroom or get some water, you turned to your roommates, joining in the excited rambles of all they’ve witnessed so far, adding in your notes as well, stealing glances at the timer in the middle of the stadium periodically. But as you make eye contact with a pair of curious brown eyes peeking from backstage, you feel your stomach drop. Even from the distance you’re at, you can see the recognition flash in those big eyes as they widen before disappearing entirely behind the curtain.
Just as you’re about to turn and make a hasty exit, those curious eyes return with another pair.
Felix and Jeongin seem to freeze you in place. You watch as Jeongin’s eyes light up with familiarity, his hand quickly coming up to shoot you a small wave, you wave back, not even thinking, and his smile widens, eyes squinting, as he seems to bounce in place to contain his happiness. It melts your heart to see, realizing you truly have missed all of them, not just Jisung.
They both wave again before disappearing just as fast as they’d appeared. “Okay, what was that all about?” Lia whispers, her small hand gently holding your elbow to get your attention.
“I’m not entirely sure.” And it’s not a complete lie.
“Your Jisung is Han Jisung, isn’t it.” It’s not a question, not really, and you have no energy to try and hide it anymore. “Are you friends with all of them?”
“Was. I’m not sure I can claim being a friend to any of them anymore.”
“Well I would say you can because Lee fucking Felix and g’damn I.N. just waved at you.”
“You don’t know it was at me.”
“Yes I do, and you do too. Don’t bullshit right now.
“It doesn’t even matter because they’ll finish this show, do the one tomorrow, and they’ll be gone and nothing will be different.”
Lia gave you a look that screamed she thought you were insane but before you could tell her that it’s just how it is, the lights dimmed again. The stadium hushed quickly, all noticing the timer wasn’t quite finished yet, then it stopped all together and a spotlight came on over a nervous looking Han Jisung, front and center, the other kids not too far behind him.
He wasn’t facing you, but his eyes were scanning and he was turning slowly, while trying to look normal.
“This wasn’t exactly scheduled, and I’m sorry about that, but I just talked it over with the others and with the band and we’re going to perform There for all of you tonight. This song is, well it’s really important to me.”
With that, the opening chords start playing and Han's beautiful voice fills the hushed room.
Oh, I think of you, I only fall for you
Feels like a never-ending waterfall
Tears spring to your eyes. Ever since they’d released this song, you’d felt as if it was written for you. Your logical mind screamed it likely wasn’t, that it wouldn’t make sense for it to be. You’d had no contact with them for over three years, so why now? But even with those thoughts, you couldn’t help but remember nights spent with your best friend in the whole world, evenings passed by whilst stargazing despite the horrendous amount of light pollution and lack of visibility. Everything about the song when it was released made you think of the time before all of this, when you’d always had Han Jisung by your side.
You make eye contact with Bang Chan as he follows Han’s vocals to fill his own part, he smiles, his dimples on full blast, and you know it’s his way of acknowledging you.
As the song passes, slowly the rest of the members seem to locate you, waving subtly, putting hearts up, ways to say hi without alerting the thousands of fans around you. Everyone sees you, except for Jisung, who either can’t locate you or is actively avoiding your eyes. Your heart drops at the thought.
Did you really have it wrong? You had assumed it was a long shot that There was written for you, but hearing them perform it live and seeing them all track you down brought hope that maybe it wasn’t just wishful thinking, all except the one you want to look at you the most.
Your heart sank further and further as the song came to a close, Han never having looked your way.
I know that it'll never stop
Oh, I'm still right there.
You watch Chan grab Jisung and pull him off stage as the countdown starts back up, and you’re pretty sure everyone can see the slump in his shoulders as his leader drags him away.
“Get out of your head honey. Just try to enjoy the show.” Nat rubs your back in comforting circles until Eve whips around, her grin too bright to ignore.
“This is the best night ever!” And of course your sunshine friend is oblivious to your inner turmoil. All you can do is smile back and agree.
You take deep breaths, you let your friends and the adoring fans around you ground you, and you decide to just enjoy this band that you’ve been a fan of for years instead of stressing about the friendship you’d already assumed was dead.
```
You could feel yourself letting loose, dancing to the music, singing at the top of your lungs, just enjoying being in the crowd. It was easy to be happy in a room with all your favorite people.
Throughout the night all the boys would check up on you, your area of the crowd easily became a favorite to interact with, but Han still hadn’t looked at you. Trying not to let it affect you, you made a heart with Lee Know and then broke it, watching in delight as his brows raise in shock and he starts laughing. His laughter draws the others' attention and they all seem to light up at the sight of happy Lee Know.
Han make’s his way over to Minho, throwing an arm over his shoulder and preparing to do his rap when Minho whispers something to him and nods in your direction. Everything seems to fade away as Jisungs eyes finally meet yours, you can vaguely hear the instrumental for his part of the song but he’s not rapping, he just seems frozen as he stares at you.
Raising your hand, you give him a small wave, his hand following the motion and copying which makes you smile. Minho must pinch him because his body jolts and he shoots his friend an incredulous look, and then as if remembering where he is and what he’s supposed to be doing, he blushes and follows Lee Know to the rest of the members to get into choreo formation for the next song, but not without shooting you one more smile.
Sound comes rushing back in, and suddenly the air feels lighter, you hear Lia squealing as she bounces up and down next to you, holding your arm, and you can feel Nat’s arm around you.
Han’s eyes can’t seem to stay off of you after that, you catch him looking at you more often than not. You feel giddy, laughter bubbling in you as he stumbles some choreography while trying to keep his eyes on you.
The rest of the concert flies by way too fast, you don’t want the night to end, you don’t want to go back to your hotel and let this moment go past you. You don’t want Han Jisung to stop looking at you again.
All the longing for your best friend, all the time you spent pretending you were alright with the way things turned out because he was living his dream and he was happy, all those years loving someone unattainable, drowns you as the boys leave the stage for the last time that night. The weight of realization weighs on you as the lights come up and the stadium starts clearing out, and just when you were ready to grab your friends and elbow your way to out of the stadium, putting the whole night behind you and accepting the end of a friendship officially, a guard tracked you down, asking for you by your Korean name, and asking you to follow him.
Confusion, and a bit of hope, floods you as you look to your friends, who just shrug, just as confused by the request but following you and the guard, after Noel and Lia argue that security or not their friend isn’t going anywhere without the rest of them because that wouldn’t be safe. You’re all brought backstage and left in a room with several couches and a table full of snacks.
“So, what the heck is going on?” Eve finally asks, breaking the confused silence.
“Y/n’s boyfriend got us V.I.P access, apparently.” Nat responds.
“BOYFRIEND?!”
You smack Nat’s arm, causing him to laugh. “No babe, I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m just as confused as you are.”
Before much else could be said, a loud squeal is heard just before you're lifted off the ground and spun around.
“Y/n/n!!!” Felix shouts, setting you down and pulling you back in for a soul crushing hug. “I’ve missed you so much, we have so much catching up to do!” He looks around, likely looking for the rest of his members but noticing your friends. “Oh. Hello there!” He smiles. “I’m Lee Felix, nice to meet you all!”
“Let them breathe Lix,” Seungmin rolls his eyes, pulling you from Felix’s grasp just to drag you into a hug of his own. “But he’s right, there is a lot of catching up to do.” He mumbles before releasing you and passing you off to the next person.
You catch a glimpse of your roommates, all of whom look absolutely dumbfounded. Even Nat and Lia, who seemed to have known about Jisung, seemed absolutely bewildered by these events.
You’re passed from member to member and something about it is so nostalgic. Being hugged by these sweaty, energy high, happy boys made you feel completely at peace.
By the time you’re finally completely released, you notice your boys introducing themselves to your slightly starstruck friends. You also notice everyone is in the room but Han and Chan.
Minho, the ever attentive one, saddles himself next to you, watching your friends mingle.
“Sungie is, well, he’s having a panic attack, I won’t lie to you, and Chan’s helping him. Don’t worry, he’s not avoiding you.” You flash him a grateful smile.
You watch as Eve and Felix get on like an absolute house fire, both practically bouncing in excitement as they chat about goodness knows what. Nat, Lia, Changbin, and Hyunjin watch in amusement, providing commentary now and again, while you catch up with Minho, Innie, and Seungmin.
It’s not too long before Chan finally enters the room, taking no time at all to scoop you into his arms. “God we’ve missed you, Y/n/n.” He whispers, his face pressed into your neck.
“I’ve missed all of you too. So much. And I am so, so proud of you all.”
Chan pulls back, giving you a tired smile before turning you to the door. “He’s too nervous to come in here, so you might want to go to him.” His smile is genuine, and he squeezes your shoulder once before releasing you entirely and gently pushing you toward the door.
Outside of the room, Jisung is pacing and mumbling to himself, he doesn’t even seem to notice another presence with him.
“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s just your best friend. Your best friend in the whole world that you’ve been out of touch with for years. You’ll be okay. It’s not like they wouldn’t want to see you.” Han freezes, eyes still locked on the ground. “Oh my god, what if they don’t want to see me.”
“Han Jisung, would you stop rambling under your breath and hug me already?”
His head whips around, eyes wide, and for a minute all he does is stare at you in shock, and then he rushes towards you, pulling you into a hug so tight it’s as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.
“I missed you so much.” He whispers, his voice watery.
You hug him back with just as much strength, clinging to him and willing your tears back.
“Careful, it almost sounds like you’re in love with me or something.” You try to joke, your voice just as unsteady as his.
That seems to trigger something in him because he pulls back and stares at you for a really long moment. Just taking in your features. “And what if I am?” He whispers. Your breath catches in your throat, his eyes are watery but genuine.
Before you can say anything, he starts fumbling for his pocket before pulling out a small black box. He takes a deep breath before sinking down onto one knee, your eyes widening in shock.
“Because I am, ya know? I always have been. You’ve always been my ending, Y/n/n. And I had promised you once that you’d be stuck with me for the rest of your miserable life, and that I’d put a ring on it if it meant never losing you. Well, then I did lose you, and now that you’re here, I don’t intend on ever letting you slip away again. So, marry me, and let me spend the rest of my life by your side, because I joke about your miserable life a lot, but I know for a fact how miserable life is without you and I don’t want it.”
You can feel the tears running down your face as you drop to your knees in front of him, nodding as you grab his face and pull him in for a kiss.
His lips are salty, likely from your shared tears, and they’re a little chapped, but they meet yours just as eagerly and you know it’s real, and that this is how it always should have been.
You both pull apart for air, he leans his forehead against yours as he grabs your hand to slide the ring into place and you hear whooping and hollering not to far, both of you looking up to see not only the kids, but your roommates all having likely witnessed the whole thing.
Jisung blushes and you grin, tears still flowing as you wrap your arm around your best friend in the whole wide world and show your ring off to Eve and Lia who rushed in to see it immediately.
“I love you.” Jisung whispers as he helps you stand.
“I love you too.” You whisper back, leaning further into him and never wanting to leave his side ever again.
“Sweetie, you have got some major explaining to do.” Eve cuts in, joining the hug and giving you a pointed but teasing glare.
a/n : thank you so much for taking the time to read my story!! if you enjoyed it considering reblogging or leaving a comment with your thoughts, I love to read them🫶
main taglist: nothing yet :)
Han’s POV
#han jisung#han jisung x reader#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids fics#skz fic#skz x reader#han x y/n#skz x y/n#stray kids x y/n#rori writes#stray kids fanfic#han jisung fanfic#skz fanfic#childhood friends to lovers#?👀
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╰─▸ ❝ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢’𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫. ❞ ──── 𝐟𝐭. 𝐰. 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠.
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more, everything I ever searched the stars for…” he whispers in your ear through a pleased sigh, “I love you.”
𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: honkai star rail | 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: welt yang/reader, past nanook/reader | 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: nsfw ; minors dni | 𝐰/𝐜: 3.12k.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: age gap, creampies, previously established relationship, reader and welt have been together five years pre-caelus and have known each other at least fifteen, oral sex ( fem receiving ), riding, choking ( male receiving ), marriage proposals, reader catching feelings.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐃 !! — @sangokokomis.
𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐜𝐚𝐬: kinktober 2 <3 also sorry but i suffer from can’t-do-pwp-bc-i-love-plot disease
— 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 !!
Out of thousands upon thousands of years, so few men and women had met the Aeons in comparison to those that did not. Even fewer were selected by the deities to live closely with them — and many, many years ago, you yourself been chosen for such an opportunity.
As a priestess of destruction, you’d had many long days to accustom yourself to the personality of your deity, far used to the occasional outbursts and fits of rage that could turn to silent ponderings within moments. You’d seen hundreds come and go, less than a dozen stay, and had long acquainted yourself with his many lesser followers. That being said, it had also been several long years that you’d been sent away from your official post by him, destined to infiltrate those which sought to destroy his plans, and those several years had been filled with nothing but annoyance. You missed your home, missed your Aeon, and you missed your former work. Life as Nanook’s high priestess was a good one, and life in his bed even better — but now you were on the Astral Express, feigning a life as a crewmember that a lesser associate of yours had long killed all while wearing her face thanks to the magics of Phantylia. One of the Express’s leaders had been attracted to the silly girl, and because of that he’d now fallen victim to your own charms and wiles, which was why he was serving you even now.
Your head falls onto the back of the couch behind you, your glass of wine held in one slightly shaky hand as Welt Yang buried his face between your spread legs to taste the slit between them. Your eyes remain closed and your breathing deep and easy as you bask in the attention he was lavishing you in, and with a soft sigh you lift your glass to your lips and take a sip.
When you’d arrived here, the girl whose face you’d stolen was still in the early innocent stages of a romance with the man, and you’d more than taken up the mantle she’d desired and had captured his heart and his cock with nothing more than a few wicked games veiled with false sincerities, so overall the fact that they’d not fucked yet was benefactory to your cause; Aeons knew what would have become of you if Yang had felt suspicious over his ‘lover’ because you clenched your cunt differently while he was inside it than the woman he was actually in love with — that being said, playing the part of a virgin when you’d not been one for centuries had been hell.
Still, you’d played your part beautifully.
The ways in which Welt Yang touched you were far different to the touches of Lord Nanook; where your Aeon could be vicious and cruel, a man at his core who sought blood and bruises, Yang was gentle and soft, preferring a romantic setting over one of chaos. You hated it at first, feeling lazy at how simple it all was, but eventually after a few years you came to enjoy it; the next many years spent hiding in plain sight as your Aeon commanded would only consist of suffering if you yourself felt that Yang’s lovemaking was such, so why not enjoy it while you could? Kafka had also advised that you find a bright spot in wherever you were located; she’d been in a handful of ‘missions’ similar to these — and despite how well you knew her to be able to lie, you trusted her. So far she’d given you no reason to think otherwise.
“Eager tonight, Mr. Yang?” you ask softly through a smile, finally breaking the silence that had only been punctuated by the wet noises of his talented mouth on your cunt while spreading your legs further apart ever so slightly. You feel him grin against you before tossing one of your legs over his shoulder, managing to worm his way closer to you as you knew he liked.
“I’m always eager for a taste of what only you can give me,” he replies, murmuring the dead woman’s name like she was his god. You ignore it, humming softly and trying to calm your racing heart as his tongue rolled expertly over the thousands of nerves between your legs. The urge to buck up into his face was growing stronger than ever, and your grip on your glass tightens almost enough for it to shatter.
Welt moans against your cunt, drunk off of the taste of you, and you let out a soft noise that has him doing exactly what he’d done to coax it out of you the first time. One of your hands rushes down to bury itself in his hair, fisting around a handful, and he moans into you again as you submit to your own urges and start rolling your hips up into his face. Your wine sloshes in your glass as you squeeze your eyes shut so tightly that tears start to spring up, and you whisper out curses and pleads as a spot in your belly starts growing tighter and tighter, and he changes nothing — an experienced lover, Welt knew just what he was meant to do.
With a sharp wail, the leg over his shoulder curls around his head and holds his mouth to your cunt, your body spasming as you squeeze him. His eyelashes flutter slightly as he relishes the feeling of your thighs pressing in tightly around him all while continuing to taste you, and one of his hands comes up to rub small circles on your skin as you cum for him.
After a moment, the feeling slowly fades and the afterglow kicks in. Standing up, Welt takes your wine glass from you carefully, helping you finish drinking what wine you had left as he also assists in removing your robe and baring yourself to him. As the last dregs roll into your mouth, he captures your lips in a kiss, and you can taste yourself on his lips before your juices blend with the wine. A few stray droplets escape your mouths and begin running down your chin and throat before rolling across your bare breasts, and Welt is quick to swallow what’s in his mouth to chase them with it, his tongue flicking out to capture each droplet before finally closing on one nipple. You whimper softly, weak cries falling from your kiss-swollen lips as his tongue curls around the sensitive bud.
“Bed,” you whisper quietly, and he grunts against you in agreement. The two of you make your way over to the bed you shared, Welt kicking off his shoes hastily as you abandon your robe on the couch completely.
He nudges you gently and you fall back onto the thick blankets, pretending to be offended as you prop yourself up on your elbows, and he laughs as he unbuckles his belt and lets his pants fall to puddle on the floor. Your gaze falls upon his cock, hard and weeping, and your lip darts out to wet your lips before you spread your legs invitingly. His brown eyes darken a few shades and he tugs his shirt up and over his head before taking his rightful place between your thighs, his thick length slapping against your cunt as you’d both desired as he begins kissing you again.
A soft pressure makes itself known as he slips a hand between the two of you and begins pressing his cock inside of you; you just close your eyes and relax into the mattress as the ever so familiar feeling of him filling you washes over your body. The two of you wait a moment, basking in the feeling and allowing your body to adjust before wrecking each other as always.
“I love you,” he whispers through a smile, and you laugh a little to yourself.
“I know,” you reply, and it’s enough for him as he begins to gently move, rolling his hips against you in a soft rhythm he knows you enjoy. Soft sighs and moans fall from your lips as he drives himself deep inside over and over again, an ever familiar fire building in your belly as he slams against your sweet spot over and over; the bastard had memorized its placement a long time ago, much to your shock.
“Yes, yes — fuck, please!” he moans above you, his eyes squeezed shut from the feeling of being inside. You lock your legs around his waist instinctively as he slowly picks up the pace, letting out sharp cries of pleasure. You don’t notice him open his eyes, nor do you notice him gazing down at you in adoration as he brings you closer and closer to the edge or the excited glint in his eyes as he grips your waist and rolls the two of you over so you sit on top of him — but you don’t have to have noticed any of these things to know what he’s wanting as he bucks his hips up into you.
Lofting yourself up, you keep pulling up until the tip of his cock pops out and only brushes against your hole before dropping back down all at once, gasping as you’re filled and then shivering at the loud, shouted moan Welt lets loose; Aeons, you hoped no one heard. Last time he’d cried out like that while the two of you were fucking, Himeko had burst in in a panic with her weapon in hand, thinking he was under attack, only to find you with your wrists and ankles tied to the top bedposts so you’d be completely spread openand Welt balls deep inside you.
Breakfast the next morning had been interesting. March and Dan Heng hadn’t understood why things were so awkward, but thankfully hadn’t commented on it.
“Fuck, that’s good,” you whimper, lifting your hips and slamming them down on him over and over again. You can feel the tight grip Welt has on you, one hand on your waist and the other squeezing your hip, and you catch your bottom lip between your teeth and bite down a little as the tightness in your belly grows. “Fuck, ‘m close — W-Welt!”
“Y-Yeah, I know — c’mon, sweetheart, just a little more!” he moans, his eyes rolling back a little as he fucks up into your dripping hole. His nails dig into your skin as you slow the manic bouncing to a deep grind that smashes his fat tip against your cervix, causing you both to let out equally deep cries of pleasure. He curses again, and you grab his shoulder with one hand while wrapping the other around his throat, choking him. His hips stutter up into you instinctively and he lets out a strained groan, but other than that he has no reaction to it.
“You shouldn’t trust me so blindly, Mr. Yang,” you purr softly, gently tightening the grip you have around his neck. He lets out a gasped moan and tightens his grip on your hips, a blissed out grin on his face and a flush on his cheeks, and laughs a little even while his air is restricted.
“And why not? You’d never hurt me, Mrs. Yang,” he gasps, and your eyes widen as your grip loosens in shock. Breathing heavily, he looks down at you hopefully through sex-mussed hair with a bright smile.
You ask shakily, “D-Do you mean-?!” and he nods.
“Yes. It’s been five years of bliss with you at my side, so marry me,” he begs softly, his eyes warm and genuine. “Marry me, take my name, let everyone know that I’m yours and you’re mine.”
“Everyone — Everyone already knows you’re mine, Welt,” you whisper truthfully, heart racing. You’ve both stopped the carnal movements you’d shared before, still connected in the most intimate ways, but still as your mind raced as fast as your heart. A proposal? Was he absolutely insane?
Were you?
Marrying him would be an unbreakable cover. You’d never be questioned, no one’s thoughts of your loyalty to the Express would ever falter. Should there ever be a suspicion of a traitor in the midst of the crew, you’d never be considered — the wife of Welt Yang, a traitor? Impossible!
So… why were you hesitating? Your Aeon wouldn’t give a damn and demand you take this opportunity, Phantylia would mock you for your hesitance, Blade would call you a fool for not jumping for it, and Kafka —
Well. Maybe of all your secret allies, Kafka would actually understand. Despite the exterior mask she shrouded herself in, the woman felt strongly. It was not a ‘maybe’ — she would understand.
You may have been a priestess of the Destruction, but you were still a priestess. Marriage was a vow more sacred than any other save a life debt, even to followers of Nanook. You’d blessed more marriages in your many long years than you could possibly remember, as well as the children that followed — whether these marriages be of love, stratagem, convenience, arrangement, or any other means. The bond between spouses was something you dared not tamper with.
But would he suspect you if you said no?
You’d managed to ease more of your own personality into that of the girl you’d hidden as over the last many years you’d been on the Astral Express and during the three in which you’d been in a relationship with Yang. You’d ushered her ended life into a new era as a woman, helped her personality grow beyond the grave, and you couldn’t thank your past self enough for the insight to do so. If Yang had proposed when you’d first arrived amongst the Astral Express Crew, the girl would have cried and said yes immediately, full of excitement that overflowed into every action she made, a reaction very unlike the one you were having right now. Now you’d made certain the come across more subdued and less explosive, and better yet you’d had a trailblazing expedition that Himeko and Welt both considered traumatizing ( a few people died, who the hell cares? ) to the girl who used to be.
You’d jumped on that opportunity as quickly as a viper strikes its prey with a killing bite. Why were you not greedily snatching this one up as well? What was happening to you to make you falter in such a way?
“You — You don’t have to say anything now, I know the proposal is sudden,” Welt mumbles softly, averting his eyes.
You’d been quiet too long.
“Don’t bother,” you reply, watching him wince. Smiling, you say, “Yes. I’ll marry you,” and watch him light up.
“You will?” he asks, smiling serenely, and you nod through a soft smile of your own.
“I will. I’ll marry you, I’ll take your name — and should we consider it, I’ll bear you a son,” you promise quietly, as is the oath of marriages amongst the Destruction ( though changed ever so slightly; you’d learned over the years that Welt Yang was no man desiring strictly obedient partners — a child would have to be a decision you both made in his mind ).
For some reason, the thought of using any child you share with him doesn’t present itself in your mind as another means of cover or of digging your claws deeper into the Express.
Welt just laughs. “Son, daughter, both or none — I don’t need any children, only you.” Your eyes start to water a little at that, surprising you; when you’d attempted to make such a promise to the Aeon you served, his reaction had been vastly different.
You were glad the room was dark enough for him not to notice — hopefully. If he does, he doesn’t say anything, and you appreciate it.
He sits up and presses his lips against yours in a slow kiss, blatantly conveying his love for you in every movement. More tears well up. You ignore them.
“Welt,” you whisper against his mouth, and he pulls back a hair’s width. “Make love to me.”
His eyes, soft and gooey in the meagre light like melted chocolate, gaze up at you with an unhidden adoration that makes some part of you inside ache. What was this feeling? You’d been feeling it more and more lately, and you didn’t know why.
Hmm. Perhaps matters of the philosopher.
The two of you resume your previously abandoned movements, this time slower and more rhythmic, imbued with the romance that Welt so openly craved. He moans soft utterances of your name and declarations of love that make your heart suddenly sting. You cannot return them, you aren’t meant to, but Aeons above… you want to.
You can feel yourself teetering over the edge, Welt able to make you cum like even Nanook had never managed, and you fight off a sudden rush of tears as he whispers his love for you yet again as he fills you up, his thick cum a hot weight inside that has you following suit quickly. He holds you through your orgasm, fucking you through it as well even as it sends him into overstimulation, and as you finally come down he pulls out, watching the way his thick spend dribbles out of your messy hole before laying down beside you, content. The two of you could bathe tomorrow morning, for now you were both too tired.
“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more, everything I ever searched the stars for…” he whispers in your ear through a pleased sigh, wrapping his arms around you, “I love you.” His hands, rough from use over his many years, toy with your own, and you close your eyes and bask in the feeling of him lacing your fingers together.
“And I you,” you murmur softly, eyes slightly wet as he nuzzles his face into your neck and begins to ease into a deep sleep, and as you glance over to where your phone rests on the bedside table. A harsh light fills the room as the screen lights up with a message, likely from Kafka, requesting an update before she made a move on Herta’s Space Station; Welt, ever-trusting, only hides his face in your neck as you slowly reach over with a trembling hand and turn the phone face-down.
You sigh, staring up at the ceiling as your fingers toy with the hair at his nape without you even realizing it. His breathing has evened out, and he’s clearly asleep — content and happy in your arms while also with you in his. You look down at him, then sigh again. You’d been doing that a lot lately, Aeons knew why.
“Sorry, Mr. Yang, but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”
𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © { 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 } 𝐛𝐲 𝟒𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭.
#welt yang x reader#welt yang x you#star rail x reader#star rail x you#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai: star rail x reader#honkai: star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#— kinktober_23.♡
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redacted filipino hcs & thoughts! lol
mostly about shaw pack + vamps + guy&honey
inpsired by @erial-c nahiya akong itag ka pero hiiii po
the trivia and translations are probably not accurate 🧍♀️please forgive my very scattered brain thoughts
darlin probably does arnis. it's why they fight like a menace 😈 sam has never known peace since he's seen em wield an ital
arnis - a ph martial art
itak - a bolo sword(?)
asher doesn't call milo "tol" bc he's not tall /j
"tol" is like the equivalent of "dude" as in a way of calling your friend
lovely & darlin would probably call vincent & sam their asawang (gets niyo ba asawa + aswang)
asawa means spouse or wife or husband
aswang is a ph mythological creature. different sources tell different things but what is mostly agreed upon is that (1) they're nocturnal (2) they usually pretend to be humans in the day time if not (3) they hide in the woods (4) they prey on children, pregnant women (specifically for their unborn child), and maybe new borns. they often get lumped with vampires though i'm not too sure how accurate that is.
aspins have a very special place in darlin's heart. sam's cabin in the woods usually have attract lots of them and they never had the heart to turn them away. in a way too, they know what it's like to being wild, dirty, street dog.
aspin - a dog breed in the ph that is sort of a mix of other breeds. they often get a bad rep for being street dogs and not having a particular breed.
vincent n his cars get featured a lot in those carspotting around manila tiktoks. whenever lovely finds em they make sure to send those to vincent lol
(this is me also hoping that vincent gets to keep at least few of them when they leave the house of solaire)
not entirely sure how the entire mate thing would translate into ph culture but even with all that david & asher would insist on doing things properly before marriage - they would mamanhikan to their partner's parents respectively hehehe
mamanhikan or pamamanhikan is a like a traditional practice of going to the fiancee's family's house and asking for their hand in marriage lol.
whenever they drive down shaw boulevard, the pack would turn to david and go "taga dito ka di ba?" or something to that effect HAHAHAHHA
"taga-dito ka 'di ba?" = "you're from (around) here, right?"
angel know it's general cleaning morning whenever david is blasting opm songs or old timey songs around their house.
asher would take panliligaw very seriously!!!!! magpapaalam sa magulang lagi ni baabe paglalabas sila!!! aabangan niya after work si baabe tapos "sabay na raw sila umuwi" galawan mo asher talbot !!!! dyan ka magaling !!!! and ofc it never stopped kahit naging sila na ni baabe :)))
panliligaw or ligaw is a more traditional pre-dating courting stage in a relationship. lol
marie has definitely said to david & asher & milo & darlin at some point na "kakaselpon niyo yan". it doesn't matter that they're adults.
"kakaselpon niyo yan" = "it's because of that (damn) phone"
this one is a bit more in general: vampire houses have THE filipino family drama. territory/progeny disputes? grudges? backstabbing? been there done that.
speaking of vamps: pre-turning, sam was once an altar boy (darlin: hahaha samkristan)
speaking of sam (again): pre-turning, he has a picture in baguio, riding a horse & wearing a cowboy hat. when darlin found it they couldn't stop staring at it for a loong while.
sweetheart LOVES singing. marie loves having them over for karaoke.
marie would drag milo's ahh every night for simbang gabi.
simbang gabi - mass service for the nine nights leading up to christmas eve.
guy's filipino nickname would be "totoy"
"totoy" is another way of refering to a younger male. addtionally, it's also often used as a euphism for a dick HAHAJAHA
guy definitely has a tiktok acct tapos don siya nagpaparinig kay honey HAHAHAHA lagi niyang kinakanta "crush" by tweens of pop
guy always does those cheesy, poetry pick up line jokes to honey like:
"cheese, cheese, cheese. gusto kita i-keese (read: kiss)"
"mga 6 out of 10. medyo pilit yung rhyme"
"honey naman 😭😓"
translation:
"cheese, cheese, cheese. i want to give you a k-eese."
"a 6 out of 10. the rhyming was a bit forced."
"honey, c'mon 😭😓."
guy and honey are definitely oa x nonchalant pairings but may i also suggest na they are jeje x pogi typings. they both definitely have kanal humor though HAHAHA
- after returning to the pack, darlin couldnt help but cry tear up after marie called them "anak" again
anak = child
#lol that's all about i got#i am going insane#i was buzzing in my seat whenever i think about these lol#alam niyo din bang co-writer si william ng noli me HAHAHAHAHA CHAROT#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted milo#redacted sam#redacted sweetheart#redacted darlin#redacted asher#redacted david#redacted angel#redacted vampires#redacted vincent#redacted lovely#redacted babe#if you saw me post this before no you didnt#redacted headcanons#the pinnacle of filipino humor are actually just puns
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Happy April Fool's Day, Boston Dumb Fuck! But then it is no longer just a day for you anymore, is it?
You really gave it the office over the past few years, haven't you? Made a joke of your life, your family, friends and fans and look at where it has gotten you.
In honor of this most sacred of days, let's take a quick look back down Untrustworthy Lane, shall we?
You saying you loved love in your SMA article, then taking this massive dump on it. That was awesome!
Also saying you hated yourself in the same SMA article. Too bad no one close to you believed you or intervened. Maybe this mess could have been avoided
Your then fake girlfriend, now fake wifey, crashing the Thanksgiving family celebration at Disney World, where you pretended to be creepy niece-creepy uncle. I am sure your family laughed and laughed at that one
Tried to convince us jump scares were cute beyond brothers and could be easily staged
Also thought it would be fun to hide a misogynistic snuff film behind a dumb chin puppet video
Tried to trick us into thinking being good at Mario Cart was a noteworthy feat, and being bad at it was worthy of derision
Proved Valentine's Day is a joke by releasing a few handfuls of unflattering photos, plus some obvious photshop fails and even 2 or 3 photos that had absolutely nothing to do with the day of forced love. The joke was on you, however, since all that accomplished was to murder so many lady-boners it doomed you to only finding pleasure in your own hands, or perhaps a realistic fleshlight, for the foreseeable future. But you are a big "alone guy" so that should suit you well!
Extending this shameful stunt to the "Ghosted" premiere. That was a double whammy- the little racist, clout chasing twit thinking she was going to walk the red carpet and Ana and Dexter thinking they could save that festering turd of a movie from further embarrassment. Are they still talking to you after that prank?
Orchestrating two ghost kinda ceremonies using only vague descriptions of locations and pictures from family and friends in the vicinity of possible kinda locations, including a very real and special birthday party for a young lady that was probably ruined, but all in the name of a fun manipulation, right? Pepper in some online quotes about getting mentored by RDJ (he's doing a bang up job, by the way), as well as a line in the online version of the disaster of all disaster interviews in GQ, (that if people truly cared, would have put a 5150 hold on you and your dissociated life) and voila! Sham marriage complete.
Continuing with the joke-in-and-of-itself ASP. I mean, having a discussion on antisemitism where your guest chides those who normalize this behavior, just as you shove that poison ring in the camera, symbolizing the unholy union between you and the Nazi wifey. Great job, man!
Almost as good as you wearing the colors of the Nazi flag for your red carpet debut with your charming anti-semetic "bride", fake kisses and all
The best jest, however, was you not even getting to catch up with your more successful friends at the Vanity Fair party because you and that prize woman of yours were shuffled off immediately to the pick up line to be taken home, alone to your fleshlight
But you should be used to not getting into parties. There was the pathetic loitering in front of the CAA and UTA pre-Oscar bashes, but the best prank on yourself had to be the SNL Christmas party, where the wifey recreated the bratty niece look from the first pap walk and you tried to drive a wedge between one of your best friend's marriages (at least Colin has gotten in some good jabs at you on the show), all while the two of you probably were hid away in a dimly lit basement room for 20 minutes, then let out a back door to go home, alone to your fleshlight. And Alec Baldwin and his wife were actually invited. That's gotta hurt!
And just recently being called a "car enthusiast". More subtle than some of your other hoaxes, but still hilarious!
Now I don't know if you signed onto this because of duress or the promise of something great (hopefully not the Gene Kelly movie, because that was never going to fly- that was another trick on you, and even if it was miraculously offered to you, after this, it would not be a good look playing a male chauvinist who preferred young women).
I am sure you have had your fun, but let's hope this time next year you will have long hung up the jester's hat and become a real life boy!
#Skinny Falstaff#Ai I'm human form#What the fuck are you doing?#You are the company you keep#Learn how to make better decisions#The unhappy idiot#is your mom still proud?#You know you burned it all down right?#Things need to change#was it worth it?
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It is me your dear jonsa neutral acquaintance to say that I do not think it is damning that Jon doesn’t react to the marriage. I understand why so many people see jonsa in the stories and why they find it compelling. I think the ultimate rebuttal to that is just to be like. So what? They weren’t close as kids. Jon doesn’t have feelings for her at the time but that doesn’t mean they can not or will not develop feelings for each other. It just seems like such a nothing criticism unless it’s specifically meant to counter the idea of a pre canon crush but I don’t think that’s what you nor many other jonsas are suggesting. From what I’ve seen, book jonsa is based on potential, with the lack of a close and well-defined relationship creating an opening for an interesting romance dynamic, and on narrative parallels and hints, not on the way the two characters currently think about each other. Many in the anti camp cannot seem to grasp this even though they understand it as a basis for jxd
YES exactly that. There definitely are jonsas that believe in like ~the pre canon crush~ and I’ve definitely read fics for that, and I’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum but I would say when talking about Canon Jonsa there’s general consensus that the lack of familiarity as children is set up for a potential romantic plot - reuniting with the sibling you were least closest to, developing this bond based in shared trauma that deepens in a way neither of them are comfortable with, and the parentage reveal setting the stage for them to ~be allowed to be together. As you say it’s not dissimilar from jxd - again, a relative you were not close to being the one you wind up reconnecting with, developing a bone based in shared trauma that deepens, and the parentage reveal being some sort of ~romantic confirmation. It's always been so goofy to me that one of these ships is seen as not valid analysis of the themes and the other is when they are based on essentially the exact same thing which is really opaque hints and potential lol.
And you're definitely right that the rebuttal to his non reaction is essentially “who gives a shit” lmao. As I’ve said, we also don't see his reaction to Robb's murder (and like god would I have loved to see Jon's initial reaction to Robb and Catelyn dying together), and he's in the middle of a very tricky conversation with Stannis he's not about to start antagonizing him by snapping about how her name is Sansa Stark not Sansa Lannister. And also like, beyond that, again, as I've reread I've noticed a lot re: marriage and hostage-bride situations and one thing I find fascinating (and disturbing) is that these marriages are taken as valid - you can't get them annuled or anything like that, they're not considered less valid simply for being done at the sharp end of a sword. And while Jon is like, wildly progressive for a man in Terros, I do think it's very likely that his ~progressivism~ would manifest not as "Sansa is a child bride and that marriage isn't valid nor is her identity subsumed into a husband's" but more as "Whomever she is married to, Sansa comes before me in the line of succession and I will not usurp her simply for being married to someone who sucks - and if she decides to murder him for hostage-marrying her, well, he deserved it" because "it's fine for a wife to murder her hostage-husband" is something we see said multiple times and especially in the North and amongst the wildlings (but also - Robb says this! I believe Rodrik says this as well in a discussion of Donella Hornwood's marriage to Ramsay! the rule is that the forced marriage is fine but so is a wife murdering that man for forced marrying her! deranged!!). And also like, he's just got so many fucking things on his mind re: his own status as a bastard, the situation at he Wall, and the overreaching war, like, why are we hung up on this lmao, he's stressed and he's about to be murdered omg.
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fic authors self rec! when you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. (if you feel like it, no pressure.) spread the self-love 💞
merci beaucoup for the ask @alltheirdamn 💟
5 self-written recs, here we go!
Halftime Show is the most fun, totally unserious fic, it was probably my favorite to write and I was honestly not sure people would even like it, but I've gotten some good reviews on it. A sequel is in the planning stage.
{you're an escort hired for a private Super Bowl party hosted by a mysterious client and his four friends}
(Joel Miller, Javier Pena, Dave York, Frankie Morales, Marcus Moreno x f!sexworker!reader)
Sweet Summer Peach is evidently my most popular fic, with the most notes on tumblr. Indulgent, naughty, and fun because we all want that old man.
{when your dad's best friend Joel catches you with his younger brother Tommy, it sets off a spark of jealousy that can only be tamed by showing you how a real man treats a woman}
(dbf!Joel Miller x f!virgin!reader)
he's got you on a pedestal, and me in his arms is the most angsty, and has broken quite a few hearts according to the reblog notes. A sequel is being written.
{you've known Francisco "Frankie" Morales your whole lives. Not even his marriage kept you from being in his life and in his bed. Then one fateful weekend everything changes and you have to find the will to give him up}
(fwb!Frankie Morales x f!reader)
I'm gonna be a little unfair here and add my incomplete series fics, because they're my babies and I've put the most thought and work into them than any others. Rest assured, I'm working on their completion every day. Starting with my baby baby:
Cherry, Cherry is the first fic I ever wrote after being inspired by a Neil Diamond song on Spotify one November morning, coupled with my fifth or sixth re-watch of TLOU. And it is a bit of wish fulfillment.
{It's the summer before college and you're sure you have your life figured out.. then you meet your new neighbor, single (hunky) dad Joel Miller...}
(pre-outbreak! AU!Joel Miller x f!reader)
and last but not least:
if love be rough with you, be rough with love was initially going to be a much shorter series, but it developed the more I wrote, and in terms of violence and angst is probably going to be the darkest among my fics. This was inspired by a fic I read on AO3, and I just expanded off it.
{As a nanny for the York family, you develop a crush on the head of the household, Dave York. What starts out as a simple, innocent crush grows to an urgent and violent love}
(Dave York x f!reader)
dividers by @firefly-graphics 👑
#answered asks#ask me anything#self rec#joel miller smut#javier pena smut#dave york smut#frankie morales smut#marcus moreno smut
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I see that you and saltwarrior often have Kai or Cinder call the other “love” as a term of endearment in your writing and I like that. I was curious as to what makes you think they would use that. I also think the idea of them using “love” is totally adorbs, but part of me just doesn’t feel that they would really call the other that, or at least very often. I want to convince myself that they would because seeing their affection displayed in their words is to die for, but from the series, I feel they would mostly just call the other by their name (still sweet nonetheless)
It's because @salt-warrior and I communicate telepathically on kaider fluff 🥰
So here's the thing: we only really see Kaider in the early stages of their relationship. When they are pre-dating and early relationship we don't expect any terms of endearment because they're still getting to know each other. We do see them in more advanced stages of their relationship in SOSN, but their dialogue is fairly limited. So they could very conceivably have nicknames or endearments for each other but it just isn't included there.
Most of mine and Elwin's fics where they call each other by terms of endearment are set at later stages of their relationship--engagement or marriage. So like any couple, they would have cutesy names for each other, but also silly ones based on inside jokes and whatnot. I love the idea of Kai calling Cinder 'Cin' or another variation of her name. I like 'love' or 'my love' because, well, they love each other! They have both lost people enough to know that you shouldn't hold back from reminding your loved ones that you care about them.
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Daniel as a pious young Omega who was sold and is now trapped in an abusive marriage with an Alpha who treats him very poorly. He has never had a Heat, does not know why they are, and has no pups though he’s been wed a year, and his Alpha holds this against him. Daniel prays to the Lord to help him, and meanwhile tries his best to please his Alpha to no avail.
At a party, Alpha Terry, new to town, takes note of Daniel. He is deeply charmed by the sweet, skittish boy, but is displeased to know he is married, young as he is. And more displeased when he sees the bruises Daniel tries to hide. Daniel begs him to not tell, as he doesn’t want any trouble...
A few weeks later, Daniel’s husband is found dead. Terry wastes no time in making Daniel marry him, Omegas having little to no say in such matters. The problem is, the boy remains terrified of him, and of Alphas in general, after what he’s been through, and shys away from Terry’s advances, and even asks him to let him go please, Sir…
Well this got away from me 😬
Long and NSFW!
“What are you doing sweetheart?” Terry asks, as his beloved omega, already trembling, tries to roll to his hands and knees, clearly shaky from trembling so much.
Terry knows what he’s doing - he’s in the proper breeding position - perfectly too.
Daniel tenses, but answers the question. He knows better than to not answer your alpha.
“I thought you would want to take your rights, sir.”
Terry does but, not like this, not why his little one is so scared.
Of Terry.
Of the process.
He needs to see, to understand, that Terry is nothing like his former alpha.
Besides, they haven’t even started.
And up until now, Daniel has been shying away from any of his advances.
Downright flinching if Terry moved too quickly or touched him without some type of pre-warning, and even then he was often stiff, probably accepting the touch as he feared the consequences if he didn’t.
The bruises his former alpha left on him, still visible, even if they are in the last stages of healing. The physical reminders soon to be a bad memory at least.
Although some decorum was required, it’s not like he was an untouched omega.
Problem is, he has been touched, but never in a good way it seems.
If it was up to Terry, they wouldn’t be here, doing this now.
Married yes - he makes no apologies about wanting to have the omega made legally him, and in the eyes of the church, which was important to the omega.
The only reason Terry plans on taking him tonight is due to it being their wedding night and the need to consummate.
Despite not being pure they still have to check to make sure the union has been sanctified and Terry and Daniel have done their duty - Daniel receiving his alpha and Terry filling his omega, as god and the law requires.
There is so much Terry wishes to do.
Terry wants to get this mouth on that pretty omega pussy. See if it tastes as good as it smells and he wants to test him with fingers first - make sure he’s prepared enough to take Terry.
Although the boy is no longer a virgin, which Terry is actually glad for, as it probably helps Terry’s case, he does not want to hurt his little mate.
The boy is much smaller than him and Terry is much larger than the average alpha.
A large hand on a slender hip which easily covers or entirely when he wraps it around, and Terry can feel how tense Daniel is, how he tries to hide the flinch even that gentle touch elicites.
He puts the nightshirt down, covering the little omega.
Terry thinks now, of his mother, and his father.
Her gentle soul and what killed it.
He will never be that man.
Yes, there will be no consummation tonight. Of that there is no doubt.
He will not do such harm to him omega to satiate his own selfish desires. Even if it would be warranted.
Terry gets up, calling on Margaret, who nods as he quietly whispers to her, the both of them glancing over at the omega sitting nervously on the side of the bed.
She lays a hand on Terry’s arm before departing. She too has grown quite found of Daniel.
“We just have to wait,” Terry says, sitting down next to the omega on the bed, only after receiving an answer to his question that it was okay.
“Wait?” Daniel asks, confused.
“An hour, at the least. I have my reputation to keep,” he winks.
It seems like no time at all before there is a small knock on the door.
It is the priest, who once again, speaks to Terry hushed tones, similar to the alpha’s prior conversation while Daniel sits, confused.
Normally this would only happen after - the priest coming in to check between his legs to make sure his alpha’s seed was leaking out of him.
“The donation will be by week’s end,” Terry says as he shows the priest to the door, as they shake hands.
“It is announced sir,” Margaret says, poking her head in several moments after.
“Wonderful. We shall go out and join the guests once again.”
“But alpha we …. I mean the union …. must be ….”
“And it will be, but not tonight.”
“But sir …”
“They think it has, and right now, that is all that matters.”
“Sir I …,” he is a disappointment already.
Terry can smell the boy’s feeling and he looks at him, seeing the downcast eyes, and the way he picks at the hem of his ceremonial nightshirt.
“I wish for you not to concern yourself with this anymore. You,” he takes the little’s head in both hands, “are everything I hoped for a more.”
A kiss to the back of his hand and Terry stands, their hands still interlocked as he pulls Daniel to him.
“Now,” Terry says, placing a quick kiss to the mop of unruly hair covering the dark crown of his head, “to rejoin our party and have fun, you being mine is something that needs to be celebrated indeed.”
—————
The omega had caught his eye instantly - Terry thinking he had never seen any creature as beautiful such as Daniel was that night.
To say he was stunning would be an understatement. To say Terry was instantly smitten even more so.
The ring on a slender finger didn’t give him pause, for it was like anything Terry wanted, a small inconvenience to getting him what he desired.
And he desired Daniel.
He had been so skittish - gasping when Terry had touched his shoulder.
Terry had finally seen the little omega slip his husband’s grasp and head to the punch table where he stood back by himself.
He had only wanted to get the little beauty’s attention to introduce himself, to have him all to himself even if for a short time, until it could be made permanent, but it was a terrified expression on his face as he turned that greeted Terry. It had morphed into something more akin to weary upon seeing it was not the alpha he was expecting, but an alpha nonetheless.
Alphas were dangerous and not to be trusted.
He relaxed though, as Terry introduced himself, Terry making himself as unassuming as possible, speaking lowly to him. He even managed to get the boy to laugh, and if he hadn’t been sure before, that he was the omega’s rightful alpha, he was then.
The boy would be his - be damned any obstacle that stood in his way.
However that same terrified expression had marred the boy’s beautiful face when his husband had found him, looking between the two, grabbing the little omega by the arm roughly, yanking him away.
Terry’s resolve, already set in stone, had hardened further, into diamond.
Terry was enthralled with the omega instantly. His beauty, his scent, his demeanour, the little he had gleaned of the boy’s personality as they talked, and his alpha knew he was made to be his.
Something so precious was not meant to be treated so rough, and he would see to it that Daniel’s husband, this so called alpha, got what he deserved, and that night he has Margaret contacting both his law team and the best PIs in the country, located on the other coast, flown in.
Nothing will be sparred when it comes to his soon to be mate.
What they find is a husband who does not deserve that beautiful boy.
Terry invites them to a dinner, and Daniel is positively radiant but is so quiet, afraid, it seems, to even look up in either of the alpha’s direction.
Halfway through dinner, the other alpha addresses the elephant in the room.
“I know you have your sights set on my omega, Silver, but believe me you, he is useless.”
“Alpha sir, please ….”
“Silence - what have I told you about speaking when not spoken to?”
Daniel looks down now but Terry can see the tears that are already threatening to spill in those wide brown eyes.
“Useless in bed - Frigid thing he is - and can’t even do what he was designed for - he’s not even with pup yet.”
A noise of distress now, from the omega, which cuts through Terry’s alpha, who wishes to do nothing but take the omega in his arms and soothe him.
He would have the boy in his lap, in the finest clothes and jewels, feeding him from his hand, before setting him down on the finest silks to be ravished throughout the night.
Terry is working on having their marriage annulled - unbeknownst to Daniel.
They are close but they advised him to have just a bit more patience and then he could be rid of the alpha forever.
And Terry does have patience, that is, until the alpha backhands the omega at the table, right in front of him.
“Do not any noise. I shan’t warn you again.”
The alpha laid rough hands on what Terry considered his - his MATE of all things.
Terry sees red and that’s even before the alpha continues.
“It’s certainly not my fault I have to spend my time with whores to get what I need.”
He stands so fast the chair hits the floor, breaking, and Daniel flinches at the noise.
Security is in the room in seconds, separating the men, dragging out the man who dares call himself an alpha. Barely moving and leaving a trail of blood, Terry’s hand covered in it.
An alpha would never hurt those weaker than him, especially his mate. No, he is no alpha at all. Terry can hardly call him a man, let alone an alpha.
He looks and does not see Daniel, although he can pick up his scent, nearly overpowered by the stench of fear.
His little love is in the corner, hands around himself, holding his midsection protectively, trying to hide.
Terry approaches slowly, sending out a scent of calm but the little omega whines, a high pitched thing that sends daggers through Terry’s alpha, who only wishes to protect and comfort his now mate.
Although not expected to happen tonight and in this way, he had challenged the alpha and won, laughably easy. Daniel was his rightful prize now.
And the little omega knew it.
“You are safe now. Your husband is gone and he will never hurt you. He will never touch you again.”
“Alphas hurt,” Daniel answers quietly. “It’s what they do.”
You are not better is what he means. Terry hears that loud and clear.
“No,” Terry says firmly but calmly although the little omega flinches anyway, trembling now as he tightens his grip on himself. He does not wish to distress him further, the events of the night, and his time under his husband has clearly taken a toll, but his mate must understand that is not going to happen - will never happen under Terry. “I will never hurt you little one. I promise. You are too precious to me.”
He reaches out now, he can’t stop himself, his omega’s distress too much for his alpha to handle anymore. A hand touches bare skin for the first time and he can feel it.
They both can.
Like a bolt of lightning, a thin thread now connecting them. A lifeline.
“What …. what was that?” Daniel asks, wide eyed. He’s never felt anything like it and he swears he can feel the alpha. He can’t explain it but he feels him, in his mind, faint but there.
“I think you know.” Terry says.
“No … no … it can’t .. I … I am married.”
“You were married,” Terry advises. “You are mine now little one, and he was never your mate.”
He can feel the panic - the fear - within his mate. It would be palpable in the room even if their fledging bond wasn’t there.
“Listen to me very carefully,” Terry watches the thin chest rise and fall, “do not run.”
It would not end well, were the little omega try to run now.
His control is hanging by the barest of threads, ready to snap at any moment.
Daniel seems to sense this and although scared, so much happening so soon, he stands stock still, his omega seeming to trust the alpha in a way he never did his husband, still watching sharply as the larger man slowly approaches though.
The closer Terry gets the stronger the feeling in Daniel’s mind, and it’s almost overwhelming.
Terry reaches out, the little omega swaying, catching him in time.
Lifting him easily into his arms, Terry places a quick kiss to his forehead as he walks them swiftly to the bedroom, holding his little mate close.
Bonding is normally more of a toll on the omega, and the little one clearly has not been taken care of, as an omega should be.
The doctor is fetched and Daniel is checked over, Terry by his side, although when he sees the finger print bruises up the omega’s thin arm it necessitates him having to step out of the room momentarily.
When he knows he is composed enough and will not frighten his love, he goes back in.
Daniel is surprised to feel relief upon seeing the alpha come back in the room. Normally he was happiest when his alpha was as far away as possible.
Why should this be different he thinks.
When the doctor is done, he steps away to talk to Terry, saying Daniel is shaken but fine, maybe a bit overwhelmed by the events and the new bond. Thankfully the swelling in his face should go down in a few days. The cut that sits high on his cheek, courtesy of his former husband tonight should not scar, although Terry will have the best surgeon come into make sure.
The doctor hands Terry several pills - ones to help sleep, one for the swelling in his cheek, and one for the pain.
“I would like to do an exam on him - an omega health exam,” the doctor pitches his voice low. “A year into marriage and no pups could indicate something is wrong.”
Terry listens, although it matters not. The little omega will be his and his alone, regardless of his ability to bear Terry pups. Still, where his health is concerned it is best to make sure it is nothing serious.
Nodding his consent now, the doctor continues.
“In a few days should be fine, once he has calmed some.”
“Margaret will set something up,” Terry confirms.
After that, his handmaiden helps him bathe, stepping into an oversized pajama shirt, clearly the alpha’s, before being brought to the alpha’s bedroom- their bedroom now, he learns.
He and his former husband had separate chambers - a feeling of dread whenever the door would open during the night, his husband looking to have Daniel fulfil his vows.
For now, he doesn’t need to think of that unpleasantness. His new alpha telling him that tomorrow they will pick up whatever of his belongings he wished to keep.
Later that night Daniel wakes up crying out, fighting against the strong hold around him, but he is no match for his alpha.
Nothing would make Terry let go. Not now, not ever.
Despite the confusion, the unfamiliar room and bed, that scent Daniel knows like the back of his hand already has his omega, still caught between sleep and the waking world, calming.
Terry holds him, shushing him, calming him, fingers carding through his hair until Daniel falls back asleep against him.
He doesn’t wake until morning.
——————
Although a bit fearful in the coming days, the little omega seems to cling to Terry - both weary of him and seeing him as a source of protection. A saviour of sorts, even if Daniel doesn’t now yet if he’s only been saved from a fire to land in a frying pan.
He hopes he has not, but he knows what hoping got him last time.
Still, the alpha has been nothing but kind, not laying rough hands on him, or demanding anything else.
“I have something to show you.”
Daniel is taken outside and presented to a large plot of land.
The PI had noted a small garden at the little omega’s former home, which he said was clear was lovingly attended to.
“What is it?”
“Yours to do with as you wish.”
“Mine?”
“To do whatever you like. Whatever pleases you”
“Whatever pleases me?”
“Yes. Whatever pleases you so pleases me.”
“So if I wanted to plant all flowers, just so that it looked nice ….”
“Then I shall make sure you have whatever is needed to make that happen. Whatever flowers you wish to plant.”
“The soil is good,” Daniel says, bending down to run his fingers through it, letting it shift through his fingers.
“We have a gardener as well, and he will be at your disposal to help with whatever you need.”
“That may be good as I will not have much free time and it is a lot of land.” He chews at his lip; his nervous gesture. “It is a most generous gift … are you sure …”
“Nothing is too much for me where you are concerned,” something Terry has been saying to the omega ad nauseam. “Why do you believe you will not have time?” Terry says, when the first part of his mate’s statement catches up to him.
“My other chores and duties,” Daniel responds, equally confused.
He hadn’t brooched the subject with Terry - assuming the alpha would tell him what those were - when he was ready.
Terry frowns. “There are no chores, no other duties.” Besides keeping Terry satisfied, but his little omega is far from ready for that step.
His prior alpha also had money, not nearly as much as Terry, but he was more than well off, but said that now that he had Daniel he could save some money and he was made to do everything - hardly any free time, Daniel explaining as much.
“Your life will now be one of leisure, until the pups come anyway, but even then you will have whatever help you need, so do not worry about that.”
Terry plans for a big family.
While Daniel is well aware Terry plans to marry, once the legalities of his husband and that night are taken care of, this is the first talk of pups.
A sad smell breaks through the happiness he finally managed to scent off Daniel.
“I …. I am broken sir,” he apologies. “I thought you knew I ….”
“You are not broken.”
Daniel looks away and that is something Terry hates, holding his head so he is forced to look at him.
“You had the wrong alpha, sweetheart. That’s all. I guarantee. Trust me.”
“The doctor checked you - run every test. You are in perfect health and very much fertile.”
“But if I cannot give you ….”
The truth is, Daniel wanted pups, more than anything, although, a deep part of him knew he didn’t want them with his husband. And each month when he had his courses, a part of him was sad yes, but a bigger part was glad.
Now though, he’s just sad. For his alpha, for whom he would gladly give pups, and for himself and the kids he now wishes to have with him.
He wonders, what they would look like.
“It matters not,” Terry says and Daniel knows he means it, but he feels no less sad, no less broken.
“I have you and that is all I need.”
While this is true, Terry though will get the job done - his mate will be with pup.
Daniel’s former husband though, puts up a fight; determined to torment Daniel as much as he can. He even tries to challenge Terry again - saying it was not a fair fight.
Terry is more than willing, but the thought sends his little mate into near hysterics - absolutely terrified at the thought of something happening to Terry, of having to go back.
He is inconsolable, not even Terry can calm him.
The sight of red rimmed brown eyes, tear streaks down his face, the gulping breaths is more than Terry can handle.
The body of Daniel’s husband is found not even two days after. They say it was bandits who recognized the alpha had money from the carriage he had been in. It was also a dangerous road; well known for such attacks.
Terry is so gentle and kind that it never crosses Daniel’s mind; the timing of it.
Terry, for his part, says how fortunate the turn of events was.
“It was clearly God’s will. Even he knows you were meant for me.”
The marriage is swiftly planned and arranged within the week of his former husband being laid to rest.
If any tongues wag, Daniel doesn’t hear them. He is always close to Terry’s side, never far from him, so he is mostly shielded as no one would dare speak against Terry.
The little omega is happy to be marrying the alpha, helping Margaret with the plans, but come their wedding day he is a wreck. Not for the marriage itself, but for what he knows awaits him that night upon their marriage bed.
When Terry does not take him though, nor lay rough claiming hands on him, nor does he try to take his liberties in the coming weeks, Daniel starts to feel something he never had with his other husband - desire.
For the first time he is given time, and that turns out to be the key.
While he could never say he didn’t find his alpha attractive - the thought of having to perform those duties again - was not something he looked forward to initially.
Now though, he wonders what it would be like to have his alphas’s hand on his - to feel how soft his lips would be. To feel pleasure, and not pain, at his new alpha’s hands.
——————
Months into their marriage, the little omega decides it is time. His alpha has been so patience and kind - he owes him this at least; his marital rights. Rights he could easily taken by now. Several times over. God knows his former alpha did. Although thankfully, he had visited his chambers less and less, spending more of his time at the omegas pleasure brothels.
Daniel though, also doesn’t want to make his alpha to lose control - he can hear Terry sometimes, in the shower, the familiar noises of pleasure, meaning his alpha must be taking himself in hand as he won’t satiate himself in Daniel, even if he wants to. The alpha surely can’t hold out much longer, and Daniel would rather it be on his terms.
Daniel dresses up in that same ceremonial nightgown from their wedding night - the one they never really got to use. It’s sheer, so absolutely nothing is hidden from his alpha, the loose neck that keeps falling off a shoulder, and the deep neck that has delicate silk twined through it to tie it closed. The nightshirt itself stops just a few inches above his knees.
His courage fails him though, and so he stands just outside the room where Terry is.
The alpha though can sense his little omega is just outside and although he wills Daniel to come in, when he doesn’t, Terry goes to him instead.
Always.
And it’s testament to Terry’s loving patience and the resilience and bravery of his little omega, that he jumps in fright from being startled by the alpha, and not in real fear.
Terry picks the little omega up, spinning him around, making sure he has a good grip on his ass.
Daniel smacks at him playfully.
“I got tired of waiting for you,” Terry says, setting the omega down gently. “You look lovely,” he remarks, placing a kiss to his nose.
“You like it then?!”
Daniel does a cute little turn, showing off for the alpha, his cheeks burning.
Looking at Terry now through lowered lashes, but it’s not a seductive gesture. He is nervous, Terry can tell, the underlaying fear that the alpha will reject him - show him indifference. His former husband was always more quick with criticism than praise.
“This does not lie, my little one.” Terry places Daniel’s hand on his cock and Daniel’s eyes widen.
“You are … quite well endowed,” and Daniel can feel some doubt creep back in. Well endowed and very, very hard.
God it was bad enough with his alpha and he was half the size of Terry.
At least alphas don’t last long, he thinks.
“You will feel nothing but pleasure, I promise,” leaning down to press his forehead to the omega’s. “You were made to fit an alpha …. made to fit me.” A large hand on the side of his face, stroking his cheek. “I will make sure you are more than well prepared to receive me.”
Terry leans down, the omega on his tip toes to meet him half way as their lips meet as he is picked up. Terry walks them through the mansion, their lips never breaking the kiss, expect when Terry whispers, “I will never hurt you. Remember that.”
He is laid out on their bed, his night shirt ruched up around his waist, leaving him bare to his husband as he had forgone underwear.
His alpha seems to approve, his fingers tracing his mound and slit.
Daniel’s eyes dart to his husband’s manhood, clearly hardening in arousal. His alpha definitely likes what he sees.
“Are you sure?!” Terry asks. “There are other things ….”
“Of course,” but Daniel knows the sound of his heart is loud to both of their ears.
As long as their marriage is not consummated, it is not true in the eyes of the church. He can’t stand the thought of being separated from Terry even if he knows that Terry would never allow that to happen.
“I wish .. I wish for you to fill me - to make me yours,” Daniel says, a hand on the alpha’s chest. To do my duty as god intended, he thinks to himself.
“Spread your legs for me then, darling.”
He does, even if it is with some help from Terry , the alpha’s hands on his inner knees, smoothing up his thighs, his thumbs gentle spreading his omegan folds, hiding away his most special place.
Terry hums as he traces a featherlight finger over him.
“Just as pretty here as everywhere else.”
The alpha covers him now, and he doesn’t feel panicked, not like he normally would.
Kissing down Daniel’s neck, over the nightshirt, before his lips hit the bare skin of a taunt tummy, right below where it is ruched up around his waist. Terry can feel Daniel trembling with both nerves and anticipation under his mouth as he continues down and down and down.
And Daniel is curious now, what his alpha plans to do.
Below his belly button.
His tongue swirling around it.
Lower still.
And then.
Then.
Daniel shouts.
His fingers grip the sheets.
His alpha’s mouth on his most intimate place.
He tries to close his legs - the sensation that went through him unlike anything he’s ever felt before.
Terry stops, although his hands on his inner thighs keeps him open as he looks up - taking in the shocked look at the omegas face.
“Sweetheart?!”
A thin chest heaving, mouth open, soft breath through moist pink lips, and Terry can see the white knuckles grasp on the bedsheet.
“He never .., I’ve never had …. he would say it was beneath an alpha to ….”
“Oh,” Terry chuckles, “you are going to have a hard time indeed, getting my mouth off this pretty little pussy, baby.”
A quick flick of his tongue against the omega’s clearly aroused clit, the scent of slick.
“Tastes just as good as I knew it would,” he gathers some on his fingers, licking off the contents as he puts it in his mouth.
“An alpha can’t … it is beneath you …”
A hand on his face, holding him steady, firm so he knows Terry is serious, but not cruel in his grasp.
“Can’t? Am I not your husband?”
“Of course,” he whimpers, squeezing his legs at the tone. His former husband it would make it blood run cold but Terry, it does the opposite, his blood on fire. Desire coursing though him.
Terry is his husband - and Daniel could not be happier about that.
“Your alpha?”
“Of course,” Daniel moans, the alpha smirking as he notices his little omega squeezing himself, scenting the arousal, hearing the slick as it practically pours out.
“Then You are mine to do with as I wish, are you not? And if I wish to put my mouth on you here, or,” he tips his face up, “anywhere else for that matter, then I shall. So if I want to, and I do baby, then I will eat this gorgeous pussy of yours until I am satisfied, and that is not for you to decide, is it little one?”
“No, alpha,” and the slick is coating his thighs, his thighs slipping as he presses them together, desperately turned on.
“Besides, look how wet it’s making you,” a finger slides in. “Your cunt is so desperate for something inside it, to fill it where it aches. This will benefit me. You need to get nice and wet and open so I can be inside you. That,” Terry says, withdrawing his wet finger to rub at his omega clit, “is how I wish to find my release.”
Those pink lips and soft open mouth of his are inviting too, but that will come later. After Terry has claimed his omega as his. Filled his cunt with cum, and his belly with his baby.
Face buried in the omega’s pussy now, as the alpha takes his pleasure, the whimpering noises and wet gasps music to his ears as Daniel humps his cunt against his mouth.
“That’s it,” Terry praises, pulling back to blow on the slick skin - wet with the alpha’s saliva and his own juices.
Before he knows it, he’s on his husband’s face, grinding down, large hand on his ass helping him as he practically rides his husband’s face, his hand buried in Terry’s hair as his hips seem to move on their own accord. Such an act may be new to Daniel but his body seems to know what to do.
He comes on a scream, slick covering his husband and he squirms, trying to get away, the pleasure mounting again before it seems to fully recede, but he’s not allowed, the alpha tighetning his grip as he gets another orgasm out of the omega.
Already Daniel has come more than he did in the entire time of his former marriage.
He’s wetter than he’s ever been and has never been more aroused.
Flush high on his cheeks that disappears down to his chest, his brown nipples hard in arousal, his pink cunt shiny, his skin a sheen of sweat.
The blunt, thick head of his husband’s cock and he plays with the omega’s still twitching cunt, rubbing the smooth head up and down his slit, playing with his omega clit, half exposed in arousal.
“Let me see your pretty little pearl, sweetheart.”
Terry shows what he wants Daniel to do - exposing the hard bud fully by pulling back the protective hood.
Daniel’s finger’s replacing Terry’s - so he’s exposing himself.
The head of his husband’s cock rubbing against it, his thighs shaking.
Slick is everywhere ….. another orgasm mounting. Daniel has to let go of himself to grip the sheets - Terry rubbing at his clit with the pad of his thumb - two fingers fucking in wetly until he comes; this time squirting everywhere … the stains on the bed testament to how hard his alpha made him come.
He doesn’t even notice Terry lining up, pressing the flared head of his cock in.
Slowly but surely filling him where his little omega is empty; desperate and aching, his body craving being fucked open by his alpha’s fat cock.
They’re face to face - which normally his former alpha would take him to behind - always in the proper breeding position. Which Daniel preferred, even if he didn’t want pups with him, but to not to have to look at his alpha suited him, but now here, with Terry, he knows this is his favourite. Looking at his handsome alpha, feeling nothing but love and desire, seeing that over and desire reflected back tenfold on his alpha’s face; like mirrors of each other. Breathing the same air, blunt nails taking down Terry’s back, eyes rolling up as each inch slowly opens him.
It’s a lot - and there is a bit of discomfort - the massive stretch of it - his former alpha was nowhere near this big but oddly it would actually hurt with him … more so than it does now …. he would simply spread Daniel’s legs and take him - and while it’s been awhile since he’e been taken his body knows what to do to accommodate his new alpha, even if he is quite large. He is also loose and more than relaxed from his orgasms, Terry’s mouth and fingers inside him, testing how pliant and ready his body was to accept the alpha inside, to open up for him.
“I won’t last long sweetheart - not this time.”
Next time, he’ll take the omega until he’s begging Terry to come, but now, right now, this is to finally claim his omega - finally fill him as he’s been desperate to do since laying eyes on him.
Right now the delicious stretch of the omega’s pussy around his cock as he pushed in for the first time; finally being inside the right embrace of his love’s body - how good it feels to finally have him - how the little omega opens under him, wild for it - it’s too much, even for an alpha with Terry’s control.
But then his little treasure moans out brokenly into his ear, “no please alpha sir don’t stop … feels so good,” his legs pressing tighter against Terry’s side.
Daniel had foolishly thought this was what he wanted, for Terry to be like his former husband and not last, but now, knowing what it’s Iike with Terry, how good it feels, how good it should always feel, he knows he was wrong.
If his former husband had even a half of Terry’s skill, he wouldn’t have called Daniel frigid, or needed to force anything.
His alpha, Terry, his rightful alpha all along, inside him, surrounding him, is not only the best thing he’s felt, but it feels right, deep down in his bones.
A sweet little plea like that, from kiss swollen lips, Terry is helpless but to obey.
Still, he is a man, a man with needs. Needs he has been waiting months to fulfil. Everything about his omega is a siren song, and he desperately wants to relief inside his tight, little body, his omega cunt so wet and warm. So perfect.
“Fuck, you’re prefect, baby. So fucking tight for me. Want to be bred so bad, don’t you? I can feel how desperate you are to be fucked fat. Your body is so fucking tight around me … I can feel it trying to squeeze the cum out of me …. made to be bred weren’t you?”
The omega whines, batting the alpha’s hand away when he rubs at his clit,
“Shhhhh, one more baby you can do that …. Want to feel you come around me …. How tight you’ll get for me.”
He does, helpless to do anything but, and then his husband grabs his hips, his fingers digging in, the skin white and pink around them, surely bruises will take their place come tomorrow, as with one last thrust, his alpha spends himself inside him.
Once he starts, it seems like he doesn’t stop. Daniel swears he sees a bump in his lower belly that was not there before, his husband fills him with so much of his seed.
“Going to look so gorgeous fucked fat,” his alpha tells him, as he finally finishes coming, pulling free only then, after every least drop is out of him into his omega as nature intended.
There is an ache - of being well used that Daniel thinks he’s already addicted to.
He may be a bit sore tomorrow but in time his body will come to know the intimate memory and taking his husband will be easier and easier.
As it happens later on his husband has him again - and again and again - Daniel willing and happily opening himself to his husband’s desire.
This time he is face down ass up - in the proper breeding position as Terry pounds in behind him.
“Feel how deep I am?! Feel me putting our child in you?!”
Too caught up in the heat of his alpha’s words cause to be sad - the reality is it won’t - but for now, he can pretend.
In the coming weeks he realizes now how much control his husband, had in fact, been exercising - he is taken multiple times through the day - not just at night upon their marital bed - it seems he is safe nowhere, although he doesn’t feel in danger.
Quite the opposite.
Also, he will admit to teasing his husband somewhat as well …. To spectacular results.
So spectacular that a month after their first joining Daniel falls ill with what he assumes is a stomach bug, although it only comes in the afternoon.
Foods he loved now also make him nauseas immediately upon smelling them.
The doctor is fetched and Daniel sits dumbfounded, in total disbelief, with his alpha’s hand on his slightly swollen stomach - as they are told that Daniel is to give his alpha a pup after all.
He is beyond happy - he had wanted a pup more than anything - especially with Terry and his alpha had made it happen.
As he promised.
Their little miracle, Danielle takes to calling it.
Although, when he quickly finds himself with child shortly after their first one, and again after that and after that, being successfully bred multiple times in succession well, he has to admit.
Terry was right - all along about all of it - he was with the wrong man.
#ask#I got an ask 🤩#I need a puritan verse#cobra kai#daniel larusso#karate kid#terry silver#silverusso#silverrusso
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new hampshire: it's what's new, and dead irish writers?
New Hampshire: It's What's New: Once upon a time there was a girl who'd write thousands of words based on a single line spoken by one of her favorite characters. Spoiler alert: I'm that girl, that girl's me! Lol! So, the title obviously comes from the silly slogan we see in the flashback in "Bartlet for America" while Jed's still the governor of NH. The plot is relatively simple, Jed and Abbey are having dinner after a long, busy day and he tells her that Leo wants him to run for president. And they make a deal.
Have a snippet:
“New Hampshire. It’s what’s new.” “New Hampshire, it’s what’s new?” Abbey repeated. “Sure, because it’s 1632.” Jed laughed. “My aids came up with a new slogan that’s gonna earn us 367 million dollars in revenue. In snowmobiling.” “And ‘Live Free or Die’ is gonna earn us only 350 million dollars in revenue?” Abbey asked drily.
The Dead Irish Writers Missing/Drinking scene: I posted a couple of snippets from this fic on the server (reason #235081 why you should join us, just sayin') but it's just a plotless, little, self-indulgent fic with the rest of the scene where CJ, Donna and Amy get drunk with the First Lady.
Le snippet:
“Amy wants to write a book about me. You know who also wrote a book about me, CJ?” “F. Scott Fitzgerald?” CJ suggested. Amy giggled. Abbey looked from CJ to Amy and back to CJ over the rim of her glass. “No, Danny,” she said. “Who’s Danny?” Amy reached for the bottle to fill her glass. “Danny Concannon.” “Danny Concannon?” Donna asked, and held her glass towards Amy who filled it with wine. “Danny Concannon?” Amy echoed. “A reporter—” CJ started. “CJ’s crush,” Abbey chorused with her. CJ glared at Abbey, or at least the look she directed her way was as nasty as she dared to use on the boss’s wife. Abbey grinned. “Danny Concannon is a reporter who worked for The Washington Post—” “—and whom our CJ had a crush on.” Abbey finished, with a special emphasis on the word ‘whom’. Jed wasn’t the only person in their marriage who could torture people with the rules of prescriptive grammar. Jackass. “CJ has a crush on Danny!” Amy drawled in a voice that reminded Abbey of her daughters in various stages of their teen and pre-teen years.
Thank you, friend! 💜💜💜💜💜
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Elvis Presley’s History Of On Tour Shows Performances, Concets, History, Today On The 28th November In 1976 He Played At The Cow Palace Arena In San Francisco In CA.
Elvis Presley The Cow Palace, San Francisco, Ca 8.30pm Show Performance Concert November 28, 1976 Rare Live Candid Photos Of This Show Performance Concert By Australian Fan Club President Wayne Hawthorne Of The Elvis Presley Fan Club Of Victoria in Australia.
Wayne Hawthorne The President Of The Elvis Presley Fan Club Of Victoria Australia 🇦🇺
A Review Of The Cow Palace Concert At San Francisco Arena On The 28th Of November In 1976 Also Of Meeting Elvis Presley Linda Thompson And The Fat Controller The Manager Colonel Parker Himself.
Wayne Hawthorne, President of Elvis Presley Fan Club of Victoria recalls the time he met Colonel Parker, Elvis Presley and Linda Thompson in concert...
Although it only seems like yesterday this time 25 years ago that I was in San Francisco for Elvis Presley concert of November 28, 1976 at the Cow Palace.
I had been to the US a number of times without catching an Elvis Presley concert but this time thankfully (as only 32 months later sadly he would be gone dead) I was not going to miss out.
Thanks to local member Hedy Drissen and Cow Palace manager, John Root we has scored front row seats which was an unbelievable bonus. The prelims are a blur as nobody paid much attention - Elvis Presley was the only topic of conversation!
Despite what many books say, Colonel Parker was very much in attendance and keeping an eye on everything. In fact, it was our club T-shirt that drew his attention and I had the pleasure of talking with him. Despite the many reports to the contrary I found him to be very amicable and openly frank and honest in his comments.
As for Elvis Presley travelling to Australia (there had been rumours in the local Australian rags) he gave a straightforward 'NO!'.
He was totally honest in saying the '...the money was not in Australia' and that if Elvis Presley toured in this region it would be to Japan. He further stated that Elvis Presley was not interested really in overseas tours.. except maybe for Germany which was on the cards for 1978 as Elvis Presley wished to thank the German people for their hospitality during his Army days there.
We (meaning Wayne Hawthorn and his first wife, Gina) had the pleasure of talking to a very beautiful and friendly lady in Linda Thompson, who was seated next to us front row!
'Marriage?' was the immediate question asked Gina blurted out which that offered a very quick '... awh not really on,' response from Linda. Ironically, it was that very night that Linda Thompson and Elvis Presley ended their relationship.
You may read many different dates in many different books regarding this but only Linda's brother Sam Thompson seems to have got it correct in his book.
There certainly was no the slightest hint of what was to come. For during the concert Linda walked the couple of paces over to Elvis Presley and asked for his scarf which she then gave to Gina (a cherished moment for her at the time'
Elvis Presley was in exceptional form that night. Despite rumour of ill health, he appeared vibrant, suntanned and fit.
The first thing that struck us were his piercing blue eyes. I'm sure each and every one of the 17 odd thousand people, whether front wow or in the bleachers, felt he was looking straight at them. Combined with an infectious smile his presence was awesome to say the least.
Elvis Presley went through some 23 songs and proved he still had that magical recipe that could whip audiences into frenzy. This was no Vegas crowd. On no less than six occasions there was a stampede towards the stage consisting mainly of the younger female brigade.
Teddy Bear and Love Letters were two of the songs that drew such a response but it was the suggestiveness of Fever that drove them wild.
With slow pelvic movements, wicked smile and caresses of the stand-up mike more reminiscent of the 50's Elvis Presley had them eating out of his hands.
Fever the crowd rushed Fever! a pelvic thrust - the crowd rushes again and so it went on.
Those poor security guards should have bee paid ten-fold just for that one song!
Throughout it was obvious that Elvis Presley just loved every second of the 'tease'. One could just hear him thinking '...here I am 20 years later and I've still got 'em goin' crazy!.'. Yes sure he surely did!
Elvis Presley late called for his guitar '...just to prove he could play' and strummed his way through fantastic renditions of Blue Christmas and That's All Right.
All too soon - it was all over!
Many of the crowd seemed too stunned to move. Elvis Presley had hit them like us like a thunderbolt that night!
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Hello Steph! I was wondering if you have some Johnlock song fics? It doesn't matter what kind of song heheh
thanks and remember to take care of yourself, Hug! 💖
Hey Nonny!
Ahhh, I get asked this a few times! I never have anything really significant though, LOL, at least not in the "classic song fic" sense from MY early fandom days ("song fics" used to be fics written with the lyrics to the song inspiring each section of a fic, now I think it just means "fics inspired by whole songs"). Here are the ones I know of, from my knowledge and from the above linked tag :)
EDIT: I did a tag search on my offline lists, because I should stop being so lazy, so here you are, now I have a list! :D Thank you!!
As usual, feel free to add your own, friends!
And thank you for your kind words :)
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SONG FICS
See Also:
Moulin Rouge AU (Mine)
Song Fics (Alexx's List)
BOOKMARKS
Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, 5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music
Engaged by lifeonmars (NR, 3,146 w., 1 Ch. || Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Holmes Family, Song Fic) – Sherlock did not believe in marriage, but he wanted to be married. He found this something of a surprise. Part 2 of Damage
Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series
Sunday Evening 6 p.m. by Silvergirl (E, 30,712 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF / TEH Divergence, Grief / Mourning / Stages of Grief, Mutual Pining, Dreams, Reunion, Love Confessions, First Kiss / Time, Alternating First Person POV, Smart John, BAMF Boys, Emotional Love Making, Song Fic, Referenced Suicide, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Sleepy Sherlock, Blow Job, Villain Mary) – Six months after Sherlock jumped, he learns that John is dedicating songs to him on a requests-only radio programme. Is John just working through grief? Or is he—communicating? Fixes the hell out of S3 by pre-empting it altogether. Remember, as TAB told us, John is Pretty Damn Smart.
The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) –Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse
MARKED FOR LATER
To John - love SH , how me met by Tha_shipper_Burning_void (NR, 315 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Angst, Song Fic) – John nor Sherlock knew of each other – Sherlock rich and John poor – but John believe someone was out there for him.
Satisfied by VTsuion (G, 1,067 w., 1 Ch. || ACD Canon || Watson’s Wedding, Toasting, Song Fic, Past Relationship, POV Sherlock) – Watson is getting married, but he will never be satisfied. Holmes will never be satisfied.
All Along There Was Some Invisible String (Tying You To Me) by Biana_Amberly_Vacker (G, 1,145 w., 1 Ch.. || Fantasy AU || Bullying, Holmes Family, Autistic Mycroft, Family Dynamics, Angst, Song Fic) – Mycroft is alone. He decides to make himself a brother. Out of wood.
Clarity by tea_and_violins (M, 1,606 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Angst, Reunion, Song Fic, Slash) – A one shot/song fic inspired by Clarity by Zedd ft. Foxes. Have a listen before or during :)
(They Tell You) Wake Up, Go Put On Your Makeup, This Is Just A Phase You’re Gonna Outgrow by Biana_Amberly_Vacker (T, 1,738 w., 1 Ch. || Trans Sherlock, Song Fic, Transphobia, Self-Harm, Hurt No Comfort) – Sherlock was always a boy. Even in his traitorous body. This is a story, throughout a childhood, of a boy who everyone thought was a girl.
Take me to Baker Street by MorganeUK (G, 2,087 w., 1 Ch. || Adult Ballet AU || Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Doctor John, Song Fic, Pre-Slash) – I always loved Sergei Polunin interpretation of Take me to the church so I decided to write a version where Sherlock is a ballet dancer in serious need of a doctor…
The Very Thought of You by reveling_in_mayhem (T, 2,386 w., 1 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Song Fic, Kitchen Dancing, First Kiss, Fluff) – John and Sherlock have danced before. For a case and for a wedding. But they've never danced like this. So why is John reaching out his hand for Sherlock's now?
Body Language by CeruleanDarkangelis (T, 2,706 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Dancing, Song Fic, POV First Person John, Voyeurism, Dirty Dancing, Clubbing) – There is a language to dancing; a call-and-response from one body to another. Even with the poncy kind of dancing I knew he was versed in, the kind that requires classes and counting and rules, there is communication between bodies. Watching him now, I’m more than pleased to discover that he understands my dialect as well. Part 1 of the Without Words series
Jukebox by standbygo (T, 3,990 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Music, Singing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Humour) – After the music halls of Sherlock's mind palace get damaged by accident, John learns that Sherlock never forgets a song. Even the ones he'd rather forget. But the random singalong brings some unexpected benefits.
Blame it on My Youth by standbygo (M, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, First Kiss, Declarations of Love, Song Fic) – “Courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It’s knowing that you’re afraid, and doing what you need to do anyway.” Sherlock and John are retired, but receive an unexpected client. Part 10 of the November 2014 Song Challenge series
Lights On by SosoHolmesWatson (T, 4,396 w., 1 Ch || Post-S4, First Kiss, Pining Idiots, Angst with Happy Ending, Song Fic, Love Confessions, Dev. Rel., Emotional Repression, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock and John are living together again but things between them are far from okay. John is out of his depth until a song brings the needed epiphany. Part 2 of the Made of Music
Rumbos Secretos by Ceibos (T, 5,991 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock || Argentinian Spanish, First Kiss, POV John, Internalized Homophobia, Song Fic, Military, Autism Spectrum) – AU en el que Sherlock y John son dos jovenes alumnos de la UBA en los 90´s o Sherlock ayuda a John a estudiar para su parcial de anatomía y pasan cosas.
Dirty by standbygo (E, 5,093 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, PWP, Dirty Dancing, Romance, Smut and Fluff) – “Yeah, I actually learned how to dance like that, like in the film. I was quite the hit at parties while the craze lasted. Some of Harry’s friends called me Johnny Castle, after the character. Or Swayze.” “Swayze? What kind of word is that?” John did not reply, but gazed at Sherlock, his lips pressed together but still smiling. After a moment, he stood and held out his hand to Sherlock. “Dance with me,” John said.
Take Me To Church by Daziechane (M, 6,370 w., 1 Ch. || Ballet, Song Fic, First Kiss / Time) – John’s days blurred. It didn’t even bother him anymore, that he wasn’t onstage. At least, that’s what he told himself every time he clocked in for another shift. Sherlock’s days blurred. It didn’t even bother him anymore, that he wasn’t onstage. At least, that’s what he told himself every time he stepped into 221B.
Burn by EmilyisSOgay (T, 7,481 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Universe || Jazz Singer John, Alternate First Meeting, First Kiss, Everyone is Gay, Love at First Sight, Falling in Love, Flirty John, Song Fic, Romance, Sexual Tension, Sherlock POV, Sherlock in Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fluff) – John is a seductive jazz singer at small London club. And Sherlock gets a special birthday performance that sets his Mind Palace ablaze.
You Are The Reason by ICanDoThisAllDayy (G, 9,432 w. || Post-TSo3, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Letters, Bisexual John, Song Fic, Heavy Angst) – When Sherlock leaves the envelope for John and Mary at their wedding, he forgets to take out another piece of paper from it - the paper on which he poured his heart out while preparing the Best Man's Speech at 221B Baker Street. He intended to burn the piece right after he finished writing, but he was too exhausted from the emotions and accidentally slipped it amongst his composition for the Waltz. As things work out, somebody reads his letter. That somebody is John Watson. Part 2 of Songs-inspired fic(let)s
A Very Sherlock Musical by flawedamythyst (T, 11,980 w., 1 Ch. || Musical AU || No S3 Compliant {more tags to be added after reading}) – So, you know how musicals are set in a world where people just burst into song every five minutes, and everyone around them automatically knows to join in with the tune and choreography? This fic is set in that world. John finds it extremely frustrating that Sherlock won't sing their theme song with him.
This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.
A Case of Identity – The Musical by shamelessmash (E, 83,147 w., 15 Ch. || 1950′s Hollywood AU || Musical, Case Fic, Undercover as an Actor, Dancing, Happy Ending, Kidnapping, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Writer/Director John, Slow Burn / Romance) – A mysterious death on set causes chaos in Stamford productions latest movie. With the premiere date left unchanged, they must find a new lead actor and reshoot an entire movie in two months. Sherlock Holmes goes undercover as a lead actor in a Musical: a juggling act to solve a murder while singing, dancing and charming his way through 1950s Hollywood. The last thing he expected was to fall in love with the screenwriter along the way. Or as I like to call it: the case where Sherlock finally gets to dance. Based off this prompt.
To the Sticking Place by blueink3 (E, 121,973 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Musical Theatre AU || Showmance, Friends to Lovers, Bickering, UST / RST, Fluff, Virgin Sherlock, BAMF John, New York City / Broadway) – Renowned Shakespearean actor Sherlock Holmes has finally burned all of his bridges in the theatre industry save for his constant director, Greg Lestrade. John Watson has made a name for himself in the musical theatre circuit, but age and injury are working against him. Can they reinvent themselves for an all-male Macbeth without killing one another? Part 1 of the Screw Your Courage series
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Yes, I do
(Written for @p3akishinjiweek day 8: Free day)
Alternate universe - modern: no powers, Marriage, Anxiety, Male/Female friendship
It's happening: soon, Akihiko and Shinjiro will be married. Too bad that they're both an anxious mess. This calls for a solution.
(Prequel of this fic.)
(AO3 link)
(Fic under the cut)
Today is the day: Akihiko and Shinjiro will get married. It’s been a long time coming but finally, they’re here.
Considering how long they’ve waited for it and how close they are, surely neither of them will suffer from any kind of pre-marriage anxiety, and even more surely they’ll go through the preparations with a clear head and nerves of steel, right?
Right?
Mitsuru is starting to lose her patience, Akihiko can tell that much.
“Akihiko, I swear, if you unfasten your tie again, I will tie you to a chair until the ceremony begins,” she threatens, after adjusting his tie for what feels like the umpteenth time.
He feels bad for her: she did a great job organizing this whole wedding – she offered to do it – and now she has to deal with him at stage ten anxiety – if he could, he’d stop it.
Fuck, he can’t breathe again.
He wants to throw his whole tie away, but he knows that if he does, Mitsuru will truly have his head.
At least she notices his uneasiness, and she goes to hold his shoulders in a comforting manner. Akihiko would ask her for a hug, but that might be too much for her.
“I’m dying. Mitsuru, I think I’m dying,” he says instead.
Her grip on his shoulders tightens.
“Akihiko Sanada, you will get a grip on yourself,” she commands, with a tone that he’s more than familiar with. She demands extreme obedience, and despite the anxiety and confusion inside his brain, Akihiko still does his best to obey her.
He takes a deep breath.
“Sorry, I’m nervous,” he says, then, sending Mitsuru the best smile he can muster, which comes out quite uncertain, though she returns it.
“It is normal to be nervous in this situation, but there’s something else, isn’t it?”
Of course, Mitsuru would know there’s more to this than a simple pre-marriage nervousness; nothing slips past her.
There’s something, in Akihiko’s mind, a small irrational fear that, by verbalizing what he’s thinking, he’ll make it become real, but he pushes it aside in favor of confiding in his friend. She’ll surely have something wise to say, like always.
“I’m…” Now that he’s actually saying it, he finds himself hesitating, but he pushes through. “I’m afraid I’m forcing him to do it.”
Mitsuru doesn’t say anything, but she does raise an eyebrow at him, inviting him to go on. The problem is finding the right words, which isn’t something Akihiko’s great at.
“I mean, I’ve been pushy, haven’t I?” he begins, “So, huh… I don’t know! What if he’s going along with it just to shut me up?”
He looks down. Huh, he hadn’t even realized he’s been clenching his fists; he does feel tense after all. He tries to relax, but it’s not an easy feat.
“Or… What if he’s tired of me nagging? What if he realizes he doesn’t want this?”
“You’re afraid of him running away,” Mitsuru concludes for him.
All Akihiko can do is nodding, though he is grateful that she stepped in, sparing him from having to draw the conclusion by himself.
For just a moment, Mitsuru remains silent, surely pondering how to best approach the subject. It’s still long enough for Akihiko to regret saying anything in the first place.
This whole thing is stupid anyway. What kind of partner he is, having doubts like that? Terrible, terrible, terrible…
“I understand why you’d feel insecure, considering Shinjiro’s past actions, and as I said, it is normal to be nervous before such a big occasion,” Mitsuru comes to the rescue again, though Akihiko might’ve spoken too soon, because she continues. “I don’t think I can ease all your doubts, but I know someone who might…”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
A small smile spreads over Mitsuru’s lips.
“If Shinjiro were here, what do you think he’d say?”
“What would he say?”
Oh, that’s easy for him: he’s known Shinjiro for long enough to be able to predict such a thing.
“He’d call me an idiot, first of all, because he always does. And then he’d say there’s no way in hell he’d be going through this ‘bullshit’ if he didn’t really want to.” Even just thinking about it makes him chuckle, though his expression soon turns sad. “Though he’d say that he understands my doubts, and then he’d say something self-deprecating, like that he doesn’t even deserve this second chance I’m giving him.”
“And what would you have said, in this scenario?” Mitsuru asks.
“I’d tell him that he’s the idiot!” Akihiko’s exclaims, immediately. “Sure, he’s been an asshole, but that’s in the past! He’s grown so much since then, and I’m so proud of the man he’s become! I’m lucky he’s even considering being my husband!”
Mitsuru lets him go.
“That’s settled, then, nes pas?”
What’s set—Ah. Akihiko understands what she was doing now. Okay, not bad, Kirijo, not bad. He won’t even comment on how smug she looks right now.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” he concedes then.
It’s weird, but after this small conversation in his head, he does feel better and, especially, he does stand behind what he said to the imaginary Shinji, every single word.
“Marvelous, then we can proceed with… What is it now?” She can tell there’s something else that is bugging Akihiko now. Thankfully, it’s nothing serious.
“Can I… get a hug?” he asks, in fact, slowly spreading his arms as an invitation. In the end, he's asked for one anyway.
Hugging isn’t something Mitsuru usually does, but… Oh well, she supposes she can make an exception for such an occasion.
“Alright, you can get one hug,” she mutters, before Akihiko engulfs her in his arms.
Since they’ve become friends, she’s always been there for him, through the thick and thin; even during the worst moments of his life, she was there for him, helping him pick up the pieces. He can’t even begin to describe how grateful he is to her.
“Mitsuru, thank you, for everything.”
“Ow! Watch out!” Shinjiro exclaims, in a completely different room, a grimace on his face.
He’s answered by a giggle.
“Don’t be such a baby, I’m just tying your hair,” Kotone replies.
Damned Kirijo and damned her mandatory “tied hair” policy. It’s to “give him a more dignified air”, but why does she get to decide how they have to present themselves anyway? It’s not like this is her wedding!
Just to make things worse, Kotone’s decided that she wants to help – because being maid of honor wasn’t enough for her apparently – as if he’s unable to tie his hair back himself, which has led to their current state. He supposes it’s also his fault for not being able to say no to her, something she’s well aware and keeps getting advantage of.
Oh well, as long as it works out in the end, he doesn’t care.
“Done!” Kotone exclaims, eventually. She sounds so proud of herself, for something so small…
She redirects Shinjiro to the mirror, the same that he’s made sure to avoid looking at as much as possible since he’s stepped into this room. “Look at you! Such a handsome gentleman~”
What Shinjiro sees is, well, himself, or better, a way fancier version of himself, clean shaved and with his hair tied in a small ponytail. It’s hard to think of his reflection as himself, especially with the black suit he’s wearing; they’ve decided to do things western style, and of course, when choosing the colors of their suits, he suggested for Aki to be the one wearing white – so that he can look like the perfect knight in shining armor that he is, though of course he didn’t actually say that.
“I don’t know about handsome…” he mutters, then, looking away. Kotone’s judgement can’t be trusted, not when she admitted to having had crushes on pretty much everyone from their friend group, which means that her opinion isn’t exactly objective here.
“I’m sure your future husband will love it,” she replies, which such confidence that, if she said that she’s gotten that information directly by reading Aki’s mind, he’d believe her.
She’s put quite the emphasis on the word “husband”, and it gets him flustered even just thinking about it.
Yeah, soon he and Aki will be husbands.
… Husbands, right.
Kotone must’ve noticed the way his expression darkens, because she asks:
“Shinjiro… Is something wrong?”
Ah, shit, he’s been caught.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” he lies, though he doesn’t even know why he does, since he knows already that she’s not going to believe him. It’s just to save face, at this point – he has to put a bit of a fight when she tries to psychoanalyze him.
“Oh, come on! Now’s not the time for that!” she pouts, in fact. The little demon, she knows he’s weak for that shit…
He sighs. “Just nervous, I guess.”
“Nervous? Well, I’d say that’s normal,” Kotone starts to muse. “Anything could happen: a tsunami, an earthquake, we could be abducted by aliens—”
Another sigh. “You know that’s not it…”
“What is it, then?”
“It’s…” Oh yeah, he walked right into that, huh? Either she’s become too good at making him talk, or he’s gotten softer. He doesn’t know which one is worse.
Oh well, might as well getting it out of his chest now. It’s not like Kotone’s going to let it go anyway.
“What if he suddenly realizes that he’s tired of putting up with me? What if after all I’ve made him go through, he decides I’m not worth it anymore? I mean, c’mon, Kotone, you know I’ve been a piece of shit to him for such a long time…”
All the fights, their breakups… Akihiko’s been through it all, has seen the worst of him. Eventually, his patience has to run out, right? What if it happens now?
Fucking hell, he did his best to ignore this fear of his, but now that he’s vocalized it, he can’t stop thinking about it!
He can easily picture it: Aki, walking down the aisle with an uncertain look on his face; Aki, unable to say his vows; Aki admitting that he can’t do it; Aki running away…
“What would he say, Shinjiro?”
“Huh?”
That catches him off guard, but Kotone remains unfazed, simply repeating her question.
“If Akihiko were here and heard you, what would he say?”
What’s shocking, to him, is how easily he can come up with an answer: he can perfectly picture Aki in front of him, instead of Kotone; he’d have a frown on his face, after hearing his words, but he’d keep a gentle – but firm – voice as he’d reply…
“He’d say that I’m being a dumbass, doubting him like that, and…” a sigh, “… a bigger dumbass for talking about myself like this. If he didn’t think I didn’t deserve it, he wouldn’t have gone this far in the first place, so I should stop being a scaredy-cat and get on with it.”
Kotone smiles, looking satisfied, while Shinjiro is still grappling with the fact that those words have left his mouth. It’s not that he doubts the veracity of what he said – he knows that’s how Aki would act – but… he said it so easily, without a moment of hesitation, though if that’s simply because it’s Kotone who asked, or if it’s because it was a question about Aki, he doesn’t know.
He receives a small pat on his cheek for his trouble.
“Great!” Kotone exclaims. “Then you’d better do what Akihiko said, right?”
Nevermind that he never actually said that, but Shinjiro knows better than to argue with her insane logic – it never worked and it never will.
He sighs.
Oh well, he supposes he’ll have to do what Aki said, then.
It’s with a clearer – and definitely more serene mind – that Akihiko and Shinjiro keep going through the preparations, though there isn’t much else to be done, except, well, getting married.
When Shinjiro watches Akihiko walking down the aisle – fuck he’s beautiful – he can’t help but to be hit by doubt again: is this truly what’s best for them? Is this truly what’s best for Aki?
As fast as those doubts come, however, they soon go away once Akihiko stands at his side. How can they not, when Aki looks so happy? Shinjiro’s sure some of that excitement must be showing on his face as well, because when he finally gets the courage to look at him, he seems surprised – yeah, yeah, Shinjiro showing emotions for once? Unbelievable.
The truth is that Akihiko too was still having his doubts, but just like it happened with Shinjiro, his too are soon forgotten: this is the happiest Shinji has ever looked; there’s no way he’d feel like this if he was being forced, right? Right.
If it were for them, they'd skip the ceremony altogether to go directly to the part where they’re married – oh, Akihiko is going to be so annoying with the “husbands” thing now.
They even barely go along with the ceremonial procedure, too lost in each other, too… euphoric. They can barely think, when all that occupies their mind is the knowledge that this is really happening, that this is something both of them want, that it’s an important step, one that has a lot of weight, but that they’re both willing to take.
Going along with the procedure does become a little bit difficult when you’re barely paying attention to it, but nobody seems to mind, less than anyone the grooms themselves, who wouldn’t change this for anything in the world, even if Akihiko fumbles his vows and has to restart, voice barely audible, and Shinjiro looks so tense for the effort he’s putting behind not shedding even a single tear that he might break at any moment now; sure, sometimes they have to be prompted to speak, sure, they might say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but it’s still all perfect.
Despite the doubts and tribulations, saying “I do” comes as easy as breathing.
#P3akishinjiweek#akishinji#akihiko sanada#shinjiro aragaki#mitsuru kirijo#shiomi kotone#my fics#mine
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Rambling thoughts while rewatching Episode 4x12 “Swipe Left”
Carlos tells TK he is putting too much pressure on this – but says that after listing out his whole ass tea box
Lol – it’s supposed to be fun
My research had told me that the Rabbi would most likely want Carlos to convert.
My 42 years on this planet told me that Tom would be a douchey religious dude that thinks any and all queers are going to hell – I have quite literally heard it my entire life
No wonder that I am so repulsed by organized religion (I don’t care what you practice – just don’t put your beliefs on me.)
I do agree with the Rabbi on not listening to outside forces
TK thought that when Carlos told him that he was married – it was the last of the “difficult conversations”.
Like I said before – If your partner says there is a gaping chasm – there is one.
When can we stop using comas for why we don’t communicate? There have been 26 episodes since the last coma. Just fucking talk.
Or making the secret wife jokes – Each time – TK’s face has NOT been amused – but ha ha funny fucking joke. Please keep joking about the lie you kept from me for our whole relationship.
Carlos’ tone is very dismissive in the kitchen – I get that he likes to avoid things, but that was really trying to avoid it. Not just about the kids thing – but about TK telling him that he feels a rift growing due to their lack of communication on the subject.
I really strongly dislike Mitch Geralds, his wife too but he is just so instantly punchable.
He is lucky he met the 126 post Owen’s punching people stage
He reminds me of a creepy dude that I know – appearance and personality.
High quality manure for a low-quality couple
I love that they brought him in for her love interest.
She really is/was the only one not currently coupled off
I feel like Marjan has had the most consistent storyline this season.
I love the pre-dating training sessions
“How many princes did you kiss babe?” Mateo – I love you – never change
Also – so valid of Nancy to just move on with her dating tutorial as if he hadn’t spoken.
So, is Owen’s safe word rutabaga?
Not sure who was more enamored with the cheating cheater who cheats, but I think it might have been Owen – Marj didn’t go on a fried chicken bender
No fucking thank you on 8 kids – also especially not with that super douche. However – at least he is up front with his preferred spawn count.
I love that she asked on how they would feel about her working after marriage – For her – that is such a huge part of who she is.
“In a teahouse?”
Are people still that nuts about Harry Potter? I know that they had to movies & the stupid game that is/coming out, but are people still as into it as that dude was?
So, do we think he really does dog rescue crowd sourcing or did he just google image a dog with deformities for compassion points?
How many days passed in this episode? There were 4 dates in one day, right?
So the training was 1-2 days (I am guessing based on clothing) they probably started the training sessions that shift – so that would be day 1, then day 2 was with Tarlos.
Then the dates – all 4 in one day makes sense – but would it really be that easy to set all 4 up with a 1-day notice?
Plus the officiant day before the shift
Then the shift where they commiserate over dating issues
Leading into the pregnant lady rescue
Then Tarlos talk to their parents – another day (Could be the same day as the shift of commiseration)
Then the next day when they talk at the end
So at least a week total?
This talk in the bunk room makes me very happy that I haven’t had to date since 2007.
Dating rules are fucking stupid and I LOVE NANCY for that.
“You sure you’ve never dated before?” – Mateo
She is so cute though when he texts her – but not as cute as she is with Yusef.
At first, I thought that they set her up with the guys and chaperoned for the one they set up – until Owen fell in love & Mateo made a new friend.
I feel like working the desk in a no-tell motel would be both fascinating and sad as fuck.
I guess Judd had the day off
I do like the parent talks
“Avoid? I don’t avoid.” says Carlos Avoid & Deflect Reyes
This is among the best advice that Owen has given throughout the series
I like that throughout the episode neither of them doubts the love of or for the other.
The only irritating thing for me was Andrea telling Carlos it wasn’t true when he told her that he had only had a relationship with Gabriel until 2 years ago. – That isn’t for her to decide or determine. I would love to get to explore that a bit more – but with Gabriel
I do think that my spec fic was pretty right in the big ways (other than the very self-indulgent venue burning).
I like that we got a confirmation that Paul & Asha are together
Babe - you could have bought a cat – it would be a pet you could pet & wouldn’t cause too many nightmares.
Also – I don’t love that impression either, but I love that they are comfortable being dorks together.
The closing scene in this is the growth I needed to see in Carlos. This was him actually speaking, something that he was truly worried about (he even said as much to his mother in why he hadn’t talked about it before), but doing it anyway. Telling TK that he didn’t want kids, may not ever want them. He knew that TK might not be ok with it, but he still did it.
Through the episode, it felt to me that TK was trying to come to terms with his life picture changing, leading him to the conclusion that, for him, being with Carlos is the more important part of the picture, and he was ok with that. It just took time and thinking.
Lets hope that Carlos can continue having the hard talks instead of deflecting from them.
#ramblingthoughts#911 lone star season 4#911 lone star spoilers#episode 4x12 thoughts#tarlos#tk strand#carlos reyes#marjan marwani
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