#at least my profs are chill but like man i just have no time to relax and it's destroying me a bit lol

[upsidedownsmore]

this computer systems homework is gonna be the death of me like how am i supposed to understand wtf is going on in assembly code when i gotta figure out what anime reference i'm gonna draw for tennotober tonight

[yokiidokii]

How would the gang react to a reader who constantly says sorry ? like for every stupid thing at the end of a sentence due to being Bullied majority of their life . So now I their adulthood it’s just kinda automatic “oop I’m sorry” even when it’s not necessary

My smile is immeasurable- I do this so often you have no idea. I have absolutely been worried about not knowing if I was gonna do the request just right. This is not one of those times. I did have a surprising amount of trouble with it though? Despite it being something I myself do constantly lmao, ah well I hope I did it justice!

Also hi! I was in college so this is so very late and I’m so sorry about that <3 My prof mentally threw me around like a rag doll and I came out with my brain fried.

Warnings: I don't think any? Maybe some general allusions to anxiety just because of the prompt itself? Andre mentions weed but uh- nothing else! Relatively safe<3

Reagan

I feel like she understands, I could see her thinking of it more in a like, a logical sense? Not like she doesn’t understand the more emotional side of it- she’s got her own issues. But in the like “Oh, usually when people do this it means they are scared of what people think and don’t like conflict. I’ll keep that in mind.”

She gets it, and I want to be absolutely clear- I cannot see her being one of those people saying “It’s fine.” Because like, for her it doesn’t feel like it ever really is? But she will be the person to help you feel like, it’s okay that you said it but know that you do not have to. You didn’t do anything wrong.

If you want to tell her the reason why you do this, apologizing and explaining she will feel for you. I mean we’ve seen her school experience, we had one friend and a buncha kids who were way older than you and treated her like shit. Also her father, very much her father.

She won't ever press you or act like you aren't trying harder to get better but she'll make sure in her own way that you know it's all gonna be okay one day.

One day you won't have to think about the past and everything will be okay <3

-

Andre

Andre may or may not have told you about his experiences with his family and how they really affected him.

You have probably also- at least once maybe seen him without drugs and how that can make him.

Long story short he is in no position to judge even if he for some reason wanted to.

Would offer you some weed

He means well and will not pressure you if you say no, though he will totally ask “Are you suuuureee?” because he cannot stress enough the wonders of medical marijuana

Whether or not you take it is up to you, but he will absolutely let you chill either in his office if you're at work or at his house- would come to your house to make sure your comfy if you need it<3

He is a loving man with lots of his own experience in this kind of regard and he will help you no matter what!

He is more than the drug guy though please literally let him be known for more than that he deserves it so any tips he's used to help himself out he will give to you.

A very caring man with his own issues and lots of advice and love to give if you'll have it~

-

Brett

Oh honey, this man? This man understands.

Brett will apologize after you do because both of you think that is is somehow both of your faults.

Though he will undoubtedly let you know in every way he possibly can that it is not your fault in any way and that he loves you.

He would absolutely mention therapy- it helps him! It might help you?

He would absolutely be holding your hand anyway and if you do apologize while it happens, he’ll squeeze it in his own and shoot you a quick “No need to be!” before continuing the conversation. He doesn’t wanna spend the whole time acknowledging it just in case putting too much attention on it in the open would embarrass you or make you feel worse.

But he will be there for you, and he will be listing off things that he’s learned to help him when he can’t stop doing it either.

-

Myc

I can see Myc start by just being a little bit sarcastic. Like he isn’t entirely sure why you do it just yet, but he doesn’t want you to be saying it and thinking that you did something wrong.

He gives those like “Oh yeah? You’re sorry?” and you know that if he had actual eyes, he would be giving you a look of ‘You really wanna do this rn?’.

And he will probably continue to do so even after he knows why.

He isn’t going to treat you differently per se, at least- he acts like he isn’t going to…

But you feel the tentacle that was already wormed around your waist squeeze just a little tighter before you end your sentence to remind you that you didn’t do anything, and you don’t need to apologize. 

I mean he gets it, he got bullied. He ended with a different outcome for himself, but he still understands. It sucks, and even if you don’t want to think about it or you don’t want to constantly feel like life is repeating itself over and over again but sometimes it’s just going to feel that way even if it isn’t.

Though Myc will be there to help you understand and work through all the woes of getting to inside your own head.

-

Gigi

She would raise her brow at it at first.

Hit you with that “Honey you didn’t do anything wrong.” and make sure you know that it’s all okay.

Is teaching you how she ignores her haters constantly, if you say anything about it not being on the same level and you start apologizing again, she is going to lovingly slap you in the face with her words (She would not lay a hand on you ever-)

Comparing yourself gets a “tsk tsk” from her and a long list of all the parts about you she thinks are beyond stellar.

Gigi would be very honest -like the most honest maybe- about whether or not you actually have anything to be sorry about. 

If you do, she’ll accept your apology but try to figure out a way to do it in a way that won’t encourage you to do it when you don’t actually have to.

And when you don’t, she places a hand on her hip and gives you a look, eyebrow raised just lightly in a ‘really?’ sorry of fashion.

She’s not questioning it; she knows it happened. But she’s asking if you really wanna do it, you know that she will no doubt spend her time talking your ear off about not doing this again.

She does it with the upmost amount of love I promise- but like,,

Do you dare question her? I wouldn't

-

Glenn

Okay. I don’t want to say Glenn doesn��t get it at first, but out of all of the people in the gang it feels right to say he might take the longest to adjust and learn how to handle it.

But just because he might not get it at first doesn’t mean he’s rude!!

It’s more of a “What? Why are you saying you're sorry? You didn’t do anything?” Kinda confused-

He’s a confused ol man, forgive him.

Though, he would understand the bullying thing like 100%

He’s no stranger to rude comments or being talked to as if he has no feelings, typical bully behavior even if he wouldn’t talk about it or call them bullies, just,,, assholes?

That and the feelings that come from thinking about those comments is something he understands, and something that he can try and a headspace he will gladly try to help you out of.

[madhattervanessa]

Kill You To Try (Chapter 3)

-

Summary: Weeks go by and eventually, the numbness of grief forces you back to the ranch. You're caught between two chairs.

Warnings: self harm-ish things, isolation

Words: 2109

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A/N: So sorry for the late chapter guys, I'm currently struggling with a uni project that got completely dismissed by my prof and some other life stuff - I might edit this chapter a little next week but I didn't want to leave you guys without anything :)

-

You must have fallen asleep,... again. The porch chair, despite its rotten-looking wood, offers a charming comfort. That, combined with the look out towards the water providing just enough ambient sounds, has continuously proven to make you drift off. 

It's not like you could actively remember the past few weeks.

The dust you had whirled up into the air more than a week ago now has settled again, nestling into the crooks of the wood and the dried lavender you had hung above the window of the kitchen. It had been a measly attempt at smoothing out the musky scent of the settling wood beams and the peaty soil underneath. 

Now that you've grown accustomed to it... the days are flying by. 

Mainly because you keep staring into the water, dozing off, and thinking about where it had all gone wrong. How you ended up here.

The faint gurgle of the water, the occasional hiccup and splash of the gentle stream kissing the mossy, slick stones brings you back and makes you open your eyes again. There's the faint chill biting on your cheeks, a testament to how much time you'd spent on the porch already.

Maybe you should leave the blanket inside when you come out in the morning.

You twist the artfully woven fabric mindlessly in your fingers, back and forth. The loose lint gets scraggly underneath the pressure, the fine fabric strings hooking into each other and balling up.

You frown at it, thinking about the few words you had managed to string together on your laptop since you had moved into the cabin.

A splash makes you look up from your musing. A lazy drift of your eyes, more like, still without coffee and food because the food you got from Gabriel every now and then had run out by now.

Your eyes wander over the river until you spot a brown bear.

Just barely in the first few gleams of the sun, it trudges deeper into the water, uncaring of your presence on the other side of the river.

You should probably take up cooking again.

Give yourself something to do; maybe you should cook something for Gabriel, at least once, in return.

A fish from the stream, perhaps.

You squint against the bright light, the reflections on the water, and find the bear, quite unsuccessfully, snapping at fish swimming past.

It has been a week since you've been down at the ranch.

Your fingers are itching for something to do.

Then again, meeting the judging, worried look from the Senior of the Dutton family has started to lose its appeal. It makes your skin crawl to see the gruff man level such a soft, understanding look at you without much prompting.

-

"Hey, sunshine."

"Hey yourself- you busy?" You set your tote bag with the empty Tupperware down at your usual spot at the kitchen island before glancing at Gabriel. He is chopping away at something, diligently working, even as you lean against the kitchen counter next to him. You watch his arm move, the way he fills the shirt up that he had chosen for today.

"A little. Working on supper preparations." He briefly turns and flashes a charming smile before he continues chopping some zucchini. "How was your week away from the ranch?"

"Insightful. I brought you something for all that food you made me. Just... a favor in return for a favor."

Perfectly cubed pieces of vegetable join the others in the big bowl next to him and you watch as he puts down the knife. When he dries his washed hands on the towel slung over his shoulder, he finally meets your eyes again. 

"That's awfully nice."

"I would have bought you a bottle of something good to drink but I don't really know what you like."

He chuckles with a slight nod before he risks a look towards the kitchen island where you have deposited the filled box.

"What's in it?"

"Special dinner. Didn't have time to make dessert, otherwise, I would have made you some of my homemade cinnamon buns."

"Mh, I've heard good things about those."

"Oh, is that so?"

You nudge him with your elbow before looking over the kitchen countertop more closely - the bowl is a rainbow of colors and you see a box of steak, deep in the mix of paprika orange and streaks of muted greens, a marinade that already looks promising. It's like you can smell the colors.

"Well, maybe we can make those together sometime soon, then." He nudges you back and you chuckle before hopping off the counter again.

"Yeah right. Every cook I know despises baking."

"Yeah because it's like chemistry-"

"-like chemistry", you say at the same time. You grin wolfishly before knocking on the countertop wood, twice.

"Well, I better go out to the barn. Check on the horses."

"Want me to walk you over?"

"What, do you think a wolf will get me?"

"Nah. I just... I could use the fresh air."

"Uhm, sure."

He throws a towel over the cubed veggies.

You don't say much when he follows you outside.

What are you even doing?

"Hardly noticed how nice the weather is today", Gabriel mutters, scratching his beard as you approach the barn. You hum and look out towards the mountains.

"Maybe you need to get out more often."

"Hey, I do get out." He smiles, despite the admonishment. You give him an unbelieving look.

"Yeah, right, Gator", you huff and turn into the barn. He stops right at the border of the first concrete tile and leans up against the wooden door.

"Well if you don't believe me, I'll just have to prove it. You free this weekend?"

You're mute.

What?

He is still staring at you, waiting for an answer, unabashedly waiting out the awkward silence.

"I uhh- I'll have to look into my calendar, I guess."

"When you do, you know where to find me."

You're left with no further explanation, your eyes following Gabriel until he is back at the lodge.

-

You don't know if you want to answer him, today, though. 

You frown and hold your breath as you push your hand deeper into the cow - it lows as you do and you shush it as you carefully press further.

"You look beautiful today, Bones!"

You glare at the young farmhand calling out to you and manage to raise your middle finger at him.

"Aren't those boys happy about summer starting", you grumble. You finally manage to feel the organ you had been looking for. John chuckles, leveling an amused look at the guys working the herd in the other gutter.

"You know how they get."

"Wish they'd get more useful, sometimes", you mutter, still busy mapping out the reproductive system of the cow.

John hums, still leaning onto the metal cage the cow is fixated in, leaving you just enough room so you don’t feel uncomfortable but always close enough to peer over your shoulder.

“So, what’s going on?”

You draw your arm back after another minute with a short murmur to the cow.

“There’s some abnormalities around the ovaries and uterus. I’m going to suggest we keep her in while I do some tests. But most likely she’s going to be useless for breeding, John”, you sigh as you tug your plastic glove off. He notes it down in his notebook, nodding slightly.

You throw your dirty glove into your bucket and move over to the side to draw some blood from the neck of the cow where Rip is standing.

He smiles at you as you take a short moment to pat the cow’s neck.

“Rip!”

His head whips up towards John’s voice, his legs already in motion. He pats your shoulder as he passes you. As you rummage for a needle in your case, you catch him looking at you while he listens to John.

A cheeky smile briefly breaks his serious grimace before he turns away from you again.

You busy yourself withdrawing some blood from the cow's neck, carefully filling up a few more vials that you stash in the cooled box next to your case.

"Alright," you call out as you straighten up, your eyes on the boys in the back. ", send me the next one in, guys! We still have two more left!"

You straighten your head and use your bandana to wipe off some sweat that had built on your forehead and neck.

It takes a few more hours to finish your work, carefully checking over all of the cows that would be used for breeding this year before you do the actual dirty work the next week.

“Got everything?”

You look up from your cooled box of blood vials, your pen hovering over your notebook pages with the cattle numbers. Rip has your travel mug in hand, the light clinking of the metal immediately giving away the contents.

"Well, now I do. When did you have time to make me an iced coffee?”

“Who said I made it”, he just retorts, pushing the cool container into your free hand. You squint at him before taking a sip and noting the last few comments down before you shut the book.

“Well I know damn well that nobody would willingly put oat milk in coffee in this part of the country”, you murmur- you chance a look towards the Dutton house and feel your cheeks flush as you see Gabriel leaning over the sill to wave at you.

Oh. So that’s where the coffee had come from.

You wave back and take another sip before you look back at Rip.

He’s looking out towards the ranch, checking on god knows what- maybe the farmhand busy doing the dirty work of the day.

“Do you need any help moving your stuff up?”

“The blood vial case is a bit heavy but I’ll be fine. After all, that is going on Milton’s back, not mine.” 

“Just askin’. I'm going into town to get groceries. Want to come along?"

"Oh- I am-" you stop and frown. "No, actually, I could use some groceries, now that you mention it."

"I'll pick you up at the cabin, later, then."

"That would be great, thanks, Rip." You lean your head against his shoulder for a brief moment before looking up at him. He is already looking at you - it makes you squirm, that look.

"I'll come pick you up in an hour."

You don't think you've ever seen Rip without at least two pieces of clothing that identify him as a cowboy: It's always a hat, the boots, the belt, and maybe one of the Dutton logos on his shirts.

"Alright."

-

You grin to yourself as you watch a younger man glancing at Rip nervously from the produce aisle. 

You gently squeeze the tomato in your hand before grabbing a few to put in your cart. Rip is frowning at some cucumbers next to you. 

"Stop frowning like that, you're scaring every teenager in the vicinity", you mutter and nudge him before picking one of the cucumbers for yourself.

"Just thinking."

"You want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing important, doll." 

You bite your lip instead of disagreeing. Instead, you focus on picking out some more produce, the faint 2000s summer playlist playing in the background. The AC is already blasting even though summer has barely started - you're almost freezing in your thinned-out sweatshirt. It's blissfully empty around this time in the grocery store- well, as empty as these giant stores can get.

Rip eventually catches up to you in the fruit juice aisle where you swear your teeth are chattering.

"I shouldn't buy this much- I can barely get all of this up to the cabin."

"I'll drive you back, you know that, right?"

He's close. Hovering. You two haven't been this close in months.

You miss the comfort of his hugs.

It's the only thing you can think about as you stare into the overfilled shelf.

"Pick some up so we can have those fancy little cocktails you like to make. Don't play shy about it."

"So what you're saying is you want me to make some cocktails again because you have been missing having those fancy fruity little drinks with me."

He doesn't say anything, just leans so close you can feel the warmth of his breath.

"If you tell on me, I'll tell the greenhorn you have a crush on him."

"Ohhh, I'm shaking in fear."

"Knew it wasn't just the cold."

Rip leans back again and you smile as you pick out a few juice bottles, despite the chill. 

He forces you to take his jacket when you get into the truck again and drives the two of you home.

You spend the next two days hugging yourself, wound up in it as you let your feet dangle into the cool water of the stream.

You do it until you feel your toes go numb. After going inside and warming them up, you do it again, your eyes steadily on the rush and splash of the water, the reflections playing with the lights.

The groceries stay untouched.

-

Taglist: @graniairish

If you would like to be tagged, shoot me a quick message!

Requests are open

[oliviahallwriting]

Chapter 20

Tom woke a few hours later to the echo of shoes on linoleum. His first thought was that he was cold, enough that it was difficult to conjure a second thought, and more so to remember where he was. He blinked a few times, only to discover that the hallway was turning in on itself like a kaleidoscope. Not a kaleidoscope, he thought groggily, since the colors were monochrome, various shades of early morning gray. 

Someone was walking towards him, Tom realized with a start. He tried to sit up. And failed; it was like his nerves had frozen solid. Well, aside from the shivering; his arms and legs were shaking pretty bad. Regardless of who this dude was, it was good that he was awake to find out. Then again, it’d kind of suck to have gone through all that trouble of sleeping in only a coat in fucking mid-January to get dosed by the first guy to walk down the hallway. So Tom tried his damnedest to get off the bench.

The figure down the hall apparently noticed Tom’s efforts to stand and jumped a little before walking towards him. A man, by the looks of him, Tom noticed distantly. A man carrying two large duffel bags, one in each hand.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there,” he said. “Wait, Tom?”

Now Tom noticed that the guy was familiar. Ah, his sister’s boyfriend. Tyrone? No, idiot. Ty. Ty-something.  

“Tyler,” he stated.

“Morning,” Tyler replied. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” The hallway had stopped spinning, at least. Tom leaned against the wall and stood up. His knee crackled from the cold, and his back was stiff and sore.

Tyler, still holding the bags, fumbled for his jacket pocket and held something out to Tom. It took a bit of effort, since he apparently didn’t want to set the heavy-looking duffel bags on the floor.

The motion, innocuous but sudden, sparked something in Tom and he stumbled backward, against the wall. Then he felt a little dumb, since it was only a keyring.

“Geez, you’re jumpy,” Tyler said. “I thought you might want to, you know, open the door, since my hands are full. Lots of glassware in here.”

“You’d be jumpy too, if half the campus was looking for you,” Tom said, and tried one of the keys on the lab door.

“Ah, so I heard,” Tyler said. “What’d you do? Didn’t go to the cops, right?”

“Nah. Picked the wrong time to chat with the prof, I guess.”

Tom glanced away from the door to Tyler, who looked pensive, but not especially confused.

“Maybe Laura tipped her off. I don’t know. She doesn’t know about this place, though.”

“Yep,” Tyler said. “And at least that’s something.”

Tom tried another key, which worked, and opened the third-floor room. It was another science lab, with several counters, sinks, a vent area, and a chalkboard. Unlike the mostly-empty room below that Laura was using, the tables were covered with various chemistry equipment. Ehrlenmeyer flasks, Tom was pleased to remember from the previous semester. Flasks, burets, and test tubes. And, as if the room wasn’t obviously enough in use, there was a coffee station on the professor’s desk, with some coffee pods and mugs. Tom made himself a mug of coffee and took a sip.

Tyler looked horrified. “You didn’t drink from one of those, right?”

“What?”

“I don’t think we rinsed out the precipitate.”

Tom spat out his sip of coffee. “Christ!” he shouted.

Tyler laughed.

“Asshole,” Tom replied. “I can’t believe my sister has such bad taste.”

“And I can’t believe her brother can’t take a joke,” Tyler said. “You need to chill out.”

“Maybe I’d be able to if you let me relax for half a second,” Tom grumbled.

“Fair point,” Tyler said, and, probably to confirm just how fair of a point it was, retreated elsewhere in the room and started to work. It was what Tom would have called “science shit” if it weren’t related to the counteragent, a cause noble enough that he didn’t want to be quite so dismissive.

After several minutes, long enough that Tom had fully consumed his coffee and was starting to daze at the desk, the door opened.

Dr. Florence strode in. 

“This was the earliest I could make it,” he said, to Tyler. “Too bad we couldn’t spend the night! I had the feeling that someone was watching our windows last night. Too many people out.”

His composed appearance was gone. Even his disheveled appearance from the last time Tom had talked to him a few days ago was gone, replaced by an almost-comical level of disarray: a few buttons on his coat undone, at least one connected to the wrong buttonhole, deep eye bags suggesting several days of missed sleep, and hair that hadn’t been washed for at least as long. His expression, though, was one of excitement. His eyes sparkled mischievously as he grabbed a lab coat from a hook on the door and started to chat with Tyler. The chatter became a fast-spoken series of directions, which Tyler replied to and added. Statements like “distill” and “sublimation reaction” filled the space.

“So, should I stay here, or what?” Tom asked, when they looked interruptible. At least neither was cradling a too-full test tube or some shit.

The professor jumped, startled, and then smoothed a few wrinkles from his lab coat, dropping his pen in the process.

“Oh, I didn’t see you,” he said. “Pardon my appearance.”

“It’s a look,” Tom replied automatically, and then cringed a little. Man, Jun’s way of speaking was a little too easy to adopt.

“Speaking of which, the whole campus is after you,” Dr. Florence said. “Seems you don’t have many options, though we should be able to finish a few milliliters of the counteragent in a couple hours. And it only took us since Christmas. I apologize for taking your Saturday from you,” he finished breezily.

“You could’ve told me that this was your hideout,” Tom replied. “Or left me a blanket in the hallway or something.”

“Perhaps the latter,” Dr. Florence agreed. “And I told you then that it wasn’t right to let you know anything, which is a point I still stand by.”

He gave Tom a look, but at this point, there had been too many conversations where people told him not to pursue a lead, and he’d gotten pretty good at ignoring them.

“I didn’t know you were working with him on this,” Tom said, deliberately speaking past the professor to Tyler. “What, was it too hard to make or something?”

“Yeah, dude, I’m like, barely on track to graduate with a bachelor’s. Did you think I, what, isolated the proteins and whatever on my own? I lucked into the initial cure and then wasted almost all of it on your family; you’re welcome for that. And his name’s Michael.”

“Thanks,” Dr. Florence said. “I was curious if he’d ever bother to learn my name.”

Tom ignored the slight. “Well, a couple masters’ students made it on their own. I don’t know. I wasn’t in their class.”

Tyler made a little huffing sound and went back to his work with the professor, presumably to make more of their little wonder drug. Tom considered whether or not to make a second cup of coffee, and came to the conclusion that he wasn’t needed for a while, and that a nap sounded excellent. It wasn’t exactly warm in the lab, considering it was six or seven in the morning, but three people’s body heat plus a few appliances and the cup of coffee he’d already consumed meant the temperature was far more bearable than that of the hallway in which he’d spent the night.

When he woke, a steaming cup of noodles sat on the desk in front of him. Dr. Florence had gone somewhere, but Tyler was still in the lab and looked sheepish.

“I, um, didn’t know if you had lunch on hand,” he said.

“You didn’t spike this, right?”

Tyler gave a guilty little smile. “No, no. That was only, uh, that one a one-and-done thing with the punch.” The noodles were all right. Tom tried to savor them; it wasn’t like he had anything else to do. Part of him wanted to go back to his dorm and play Fists of Mayhem; skill-intensive games could reliably take his mind off of whatever was troubling him. But it wasn’t the time. Hell, he couldn’t justify even leaving this boring-ass lab.

“And I only tested the cure on your family because, like, I knew it was safe to drink,” Tyler said. “And I couldn’t leave it at home. My mom was looking through my drawers and all that.”

Tom took another slurp of his noodles. Tyler looked a little defeated and went back to one of the lab stations before returning with a small spray bottle, like the kind preteen girls used for their body sprays. It was filled with something clear.

“Is that it?” Tom asked.

Tyler nodded and took a deep breath. Great, another monologue.

“Okay, so I was arguing with Mike while you were sleeping. He didn’t think you should have any, because if my, uh, if Cynthia caught you her team could figure out what was in it and change their formula, but I thought you’d been through enough and deserved to at least hang out with your friends and partner, uh, boyfriend, and stuff like that. And this is the only one, since the only other sample, currently in my water bottle, can’t leave this lab. Then we’d really struggle to recreate it. And it’s already been difficult; it took weeks to make even this much. So don’t waste it.”

“Oh, that’s actually pretty nice of you,” Tom replied, and pocketed the spray bottle.

“Yeah, sure. It’s effective immediately, by the way, but you knew that. It also prevents further re-inculcation by an hour. Of course, you could tell the person you give this to to not rock the boat and buy bottled water and groceries and stuff, so maybe they don’t get re-dosed. And you probably wouldn’t want them to be on campus much. Too many command stations.”

“What?”

“Yeah, where she has the audio frequency set up. Those under RAIN don’t follow every command; they have to be mediated through a certain audio trace.”

“The bell, right.” “That’s just the induction. The commands have to be given through a microphone or speaker set to a certain frequency. We’ve been too busy to figure out which one.”

Huh, Tom thought. He supposed that would explain why Matt had been totally immovable from his sentry position the night before; the audio stream must have played with some kind of background pitch. Maybe Jun would know. He was in communications; maybe that was what he studied when it wasn’t the marketplace of ideas or some shit.

“Wait,” he said. “So someone else could figure out what frequency she’s using. How long would that take when this goes public? Or corporate, whatever.”

“I’d give it a week at most,” Tyler said.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s almost like this was the most irresponsible idea anyone’s ever had.”

“Yep.”

“I can’t imagine Cynthia thought any of this through,” Tom said with a sigh. “I mean, if we’re coming up with these kinds of devastating issues, I’d imagine we’re leaving out a few.”

“Probably,” Tyler agreed. “Maybe, to her, it’s worth it.”

“But, like, why? Just money? Kinda fucked up.” Tom paused, and tried to articulate himself. “Honestly, I’d imagine that she’d have been pretty loaded anyway, if she could lead a team or whatever.”

“Yeah,” Tyler said. “I’m with you. I doubt it’s just money.” He glanced away, a bit suddenly, and only to fiddle with a micropipette. 

“Tyler?” Tom asked.

“Yeah?” Tyler didn’t meet his eyes.

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“Oh, no, nah,” he stammered. “I just can’t imagine someone would unleash Pandora’s Box without knowing there’s hope on the other side. Right?”

Pretentious bastard.

 “I guess I see what you’re saying,” Tom replied, after a moment. He hadn’t heard that myth in a few years.

“All I’m trying to say is that no one’s motivated only by greed.”

“But then what? She could make basically all of society do whatever she wants. Or just one part of it. She was in hypnotherapy, right? Maybe she’d use it on her clients.”

“Yeah. Listen, Tom?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ll go nuts figuring out why she’s doing what she’s doing. Just, uh, you know. Save your boyfriend and your friends. Above all, don’t get us found out.”

Tom took that as a cue to head for the door. He’d almost escaped the room when Tyler spoke up again.

“Save your boyfriend first. Jun, was it? Don’t let her keep him too long.”

On that note, Tom left.

[iamnikoli]

AY23/24 Sem 1 Module Reviews

This sem is probably the most difficult sem of my degree acads wise. Since I scored much better than expected in Year 1, I could afford to fully focus on core modules that would teach me useful skills related to my major. Hence, I decided to take 4 core modules, namely CS2040, DSA2101, DSA2102 and MA2311, along with GEN2061X. I did slightly underload to give myself more time for CS2040, which has a very high workload. I was also expecting a drop in GPA since most of the modules I took this sem weren't exactly easy or fluff. Nonetheless, I grew much closer to the friends I worked with in the different mods, and it made all the difference to my mental well-being as well as my academic performance.

CS2040

Module Coordinator & Lecturer: Dr Chong Ket Fah

T/A: Gary (tutorial), Chao Ming (lab), Sourabh (lab)

Lecture Topics/Schedule:

Week 1: Course Admin + Intro to Java, Analysis of Algorithms 1 Week 2: Analysis of Algorithms 2, Sorting 1 Week 3: Sorting 2, List ADT 1 (Array List, Linked List, Stack, Queue) Week 4: List ADT 2 Week 5: Map ADT (HashTable) Week 6: Priority Queue ADT (Binary Heap) Week 7: Disjoint Sets ADT (Union Find Disjoint Set), Ordered Map ADT 1 (Binary Search Tree/AVL Tree) Week 8: Ordered Map ADT 2, Graph Intro + Graph DS Week 9: Graph Traversal and Applications 1 Week 10: Graph Traversal and Applications 2, Minimum Spanning Tree  Week 11: Single Source Shortest Path 1 Week 12: Single Source Shortest Path 2, All Pairs Shortest Path Week 13: Revision

Deliverables:

Tutorial attendance/participation - 3% Lab attendance - 2% One-Day Assignments (ODAs) - 1.5% x10 Take Home Assignments (THAs) 1.5% x8 qns, 2 qns per assignment Visualgo Quiz - 4% x2 Midterm - 20% Final Exam - 40%

Other Comments:

Although this module is hard (as you probably already know), I would say I enjoyed it for the most part. First of all, Dr Chong Ket Fah is an amazing lecturer, and he explains things very clearly. This made understanding the difficult concepts a lot easier. Dr Chong is also very nice and understanding towards students, for example, I fell sick one day before a one-day assignment and he extended my ODA deadline to the day after my MC ended which was basically one week later lol. These things might seem insignificant but they are highly appreciated by students (me at least).

There was a lot of content to cover in this module, and frankly, it can sometimes get overwhelming. On paper, there are 3 hours of lectures every week on Zoom exclusively, but Prof Chong often overruns to about 4-5 hours of lecture time a week. Not to worry, the lectures are recorded and you can watch them later. It is paramount that you keep up to pace with the lectures as it's not realistic to cram all of it in reading week, anyway you'll need the lecture content 1-2 weeks later to solve the ODAs and THAs. Also, we're expected to learn Java within the first 2 weeks, as prof does not teach java, he just gave us a learning package/crash course to do on our own. This is very important for students with no Java background like DSA students because we'll be expected to complete all our coding assignments in Java from end of week 2/week 3 onwards.

I attended the tutorial slot by Gary, and Gary is absolutely goated. He is very clear in explaining things, and often talks about potential extensions/modifications to the questions which may come up in the exams. This was very helpful in cultivating the sort of skills and thought process needed in the midterms/finals. Gary is also very chill and dedicated, we can message him on Telegram if we have any questions, and usually the night before the exams, he would stay up all night to answer questions that we had. Where are you gonna find such a dedicated TA HAHAHA please give this man a raise The only not-so-good thing about the tutorials is that the bulk of questions are pseudocode/coming up with algorithm questions, but the majority of questions in the exam are MCQ. I would've liked to see more of the latter in the tutorials as many of us felt unprepared for MCQ-style questions in the exams. From my understanding, the exams used to be a lot heavier in pseudocode questions, which might explain such an emphasis on such questions in the tutorial. If so, the tutorials might need a refresh.

Labs are essentially dedicated to solving ODA questions, and you can ask your lab TAs if you're stuck on either the ODAs or THAs. Apparently, they are also the ones that grade them. For me, I left my whole Friday empty in case I got stuck on an ODA and needed more time to solve it, since you have to complete in 24 hours. I also worked on the problem before my lab slot, like once the assignment opened at 10am. This was to ensure I made full use of my lab TAs expertise during the precious 2 hours if I got stuck, instead of trying to understand the question and come up with a first iteration to solve it. The ODAs in general were not terribly difficult though. As for the lab TAs, most of us preferred to talk to Chao Ming because he was more approachable and helpful. However, we often don't understand each other's algorithm suggestions HAHAHA. On the other hand, Sourabh was very passive. Maybe he was in charge of doing the assignment grading? But my friend asked him questions on telegram and got blue-ticked (I think more than once) so there's that. Oh also, you're required to submit pseudocode before or during the lab which also acts as your lab attendance grade, which is why you should start working on it before the lab because 2 hours to do pseudocode and actually code and debug is very tight.

THAs were more difficult, and I spent about 1-4 days on each question. There were 4 THAs in total, 2 questions in each THA. Discussing algorithms with friends really helps because a lot of these problems are not straightforward and require a good grasp of lecture content along with creativity. Unlike CS1010, your code now has to be efficient and meet the required run-time, otherwise it will not be accepted. Hence, talking to friends to see if there are other more efficient ways of solving the problem is highly efficient on your time needed to solve the THAs. Do note that looking at other people's code is not allowed, as mentioned by the prof so just be careful not to show actual code when discussing. The worst THA though probably has to be the AVL tree one, it was incredibly painful to have to build the AVL tree on your own and do all the rotations. Maybe deforestation isn't so bad after all Nonetheless, you should score full marks for both the ODAs and THAs as most people do after countless tries or discussing algorithms with friends.

Midterms and finals were pretty similar, exams were on Examplify and the bulk of it was MCQ questions, with 2-3 pseudocode/come-up-with-algorithm questions. The midterm tested until hashtables and was apparently harder than finals. As many of you know, Prof Chong sets hard papers so be prepared. Make sure you read the question properly as there's a lot of constraints/things to look out for to get the correct answer. Prof's questions also tend to be very long and confusing so it might take a lot of time and brain-power to understand what's going on in the question. Exams were open-book closed internet, the midterm was 1.5 hours and the final exam was 2 hours. You have to have a good grasp of the various algorithms, how they work, how their time complexities are derived and subsequently in what situations each algorithm works best/worst. I highly recommend working on the pseudocode questions at the end first because they need more time to think and come up with the solution, and if you don't know anything just write something out, and you'll get at least one mark. The MCQs can still be guessed if you run out of time, but try to do them well because they form the bulk of the marks. Do lots of PYPs to get a feel of the MCQ questions and see how the pseudocode questions should be answered. Also, for the pseudocode questions, I observed that writing in paragraphs/essay-style is much better than the usual code style because there's more ambiguity and it's easier for the marker to understand your algorithm's logic compared to code-style which will often be ridden with errors. For finals, prof actually dropped quite a few hints when he was going through the PYPs without answers in Week 13 lectures so do make sure to watch that. My score for the midterm was 58/100 (77th percentile), and the final exam was 75/95 (93rd percentile). Midterm stats 0 39 47 56 95, finals stats 0 41 50 62 91. Finals was originally out of 100, but there was an issue with the time complexity required and getting the correct answer (apparently the solution to solve it in that time complexity results in overcounting) in the last pseudocode questions, so prof re-based it to 5 instead of 10 marks and marked according to the next best algorithm to get the right answer.

Lastly, there were 2 Visualgo quizzes held during lab slots, one in Week 7 and the other in Week 13. Make sure to practise a lot of Visualgo questions in hard mode. I found the week 13 quiz much harder because the later topics were harder, especially MST. As a result, I got 14/15 for it because I got the 2nd best MST question wrong (so saddd). The first quiz was pretty easy though. Most people get full marks for both so.

All in all, I find this module difficult but also rewarding. A lot of the concepts taught are important, for example, I'm working on a project now that makes use of what I learnt in 2040. All the best to those taking it in future sems, rest assured Dr Chong is a very good prof and you're in good hands! Just put in the work and you should stay afloat

TLDR:

High workload, don't overload (in fact try to underload) when taking this mod Leave your Fridays empty to work on the ODAs Learn Java ahead of time if you can to get used to the syntax, don't leave THAs to the last minute because you need time. Discuss with friends to maximise efficiency on coding assignments Do PYPs and understand how each algo works, how the time complexity comes about, when to use what algo Do lots of Visualgo practice for the quizzes

Grades:

Expected grade: A- Actual grade: A

DSA2101

Module Coordinator & Lecturer: Dr Huang Yuting

T/A: Augustine

Lecture Topics:

R programming.

Importing data into R.

Data manipulation with R (Tidyverse)

Principles of data visualization.

Introduction to the grammar of graphics (ggplot2)

Exploring data through visualization.

Deliverables:

Tutorial Attendance - 5% DataCamp assignments - 10% Group project - 15% Midterm - 30% Finals - 40%

Other Comments:

This module has a pretty light workload, and the content is quite straightforward. It's a coding mod about data cleaning and visualisation using R. I thought I would be disadvantaged as I was pre-allocated DSA1101 in Sem 1 last year under Dr Sun, which had little coding emphasis and more stats/math, whereas in Sem 2 Dr Daisy Pham took over and revamped the whole module to essentially be about R coding. However, the first few weeks of lectures were about R coding and it was more than enough time to catch up. Also, it turns out that I'm quite quick at debugging in R, which is a great asset in exams. Dr Huang is a good lecturer in my opinion, she is concise and emphasises on the important things. Lectures are basically her going through slides which show various ways to code using a variety of tools/functions, and often she'll do a live demo to reinforce what was taught in the slides. She encourages us to code alongside her, and for this reason (apart from the fact that lectures are at 8am), I think it's better to watch the recorded lectures as you can pause and try them out yourself before continuing. Prof is also very approachable and quick to reply my emails, even if I ask a barrage of questions.

Tutorials are coding questions for you to try out on your own, and the TA will go through them. Augustine was a good TA, on top of the solutions provided by prof, he would add other methods to get the same result, and he was decent at explaining the code flow and thought process. He also responded to my queries on Telegram for the most part. As for the tutorial questions, I highly recommend trying them out on your own without using chatgpt to debug, because it's good practice for exams.

DataCamp Assignments were 8 x 1.25% online modules/courses? on DataCamp. These are free marks so just make sure you complete them by the deadline. DataCamp honestly isn't very helpful in learning because almost everything is filled in, and they just need you to fill in a few blanks.

The midterm was a 1.5-hour Examplify, open-book but closed internet exam, held in Week 8 at 8am (!!), and this was probably the most difficult part of the course. Most people weren't mentally awake at 8am, and the paper was quite difficult. It is easy to forget a certain function or have syntax errors, and R isn't the easiest language to debug in. It might be tempting to keep working on one part before moving on to the next because each sub-part leads to another, but the grading was very lenient in the sense that even if you miss out on a lot of things, you can still get the bulk of the marks. The key point is to try and complete everything and you should be above the median already. Since you don't have internet access, it is paramount that you do the tutorials as practice without the internet to prepare for the midterm. There were also a lot of small things that tripped people up, such as not being able to read the excel file in R when the excel file is open on your computer, ctrl-c ctrl-v being locked, the question paper on Examplify only taking half of the screen and couldn't be expanded etc. Overall it was a bad experience but luckily the grading was so kind. I got 27.5/30, the median was 21.25/30. Also do note that you have to copy your code from R into Examplify and differences between the R code submitted on Canvas and the Examplify code will be subjected to penalties. However, the Examplify exam does not auto-submit when time is up because there's 15 minutes after the exam to complete all the admin, so make sure your file can knit and all (basically the correct version of your R file) before you copy and paste into Examplify.

The group project was a report where we had to come out with 3 different plots using ggplot to investigate a meaningful question from one of the datasets given. We were allowed to choose our group members regardless of tutorial slot, so be sure to take this mod with friends!! My group did San Francisco Rentals, which a lot of people avoided because there were a lot of observations and variables/columns, but it turned out to be quite easy as we only had to select a few columns to work with. I had other friends who did the Lego dataset which seemed easy at first glance, but turned out to be a nightmare because you had to join a lot of different tables together to get the data you wanted. Unfortunately, I don't know why my group underperformed, I only got 12.5/15, and I assume a lot of people would get 13-15 out of 15 (stats were not released). Anyways just make sure you don't leave the project to the last minute because it can be quite tedious to code and have to write the report.

Finals were a lot easier than midterms. The format was Examplify open-book, closed-internet 2-hour exam, consisting of 25 marks of MCQ/fill-in-the-blank questions and 15 marks of coding. The coding this time around was much simpler, and possibly because we're more experienced by then. The MCQ questions were very easy, and if you were unsure of anything (eg. the definition of tidy data), you could just Ctrl-F. Hence, I recommend collating the lecture slides into one document to more efficiently Ctrl-F. This also helps for the coding questions, as there was 1 data-cleaning and 2 ggplot questions, and if you're unsure of which ggplot function to plot the graph, there's a summary on the lecture slides, alongside an example of the syntax to come up with the plot. Hence, I finished the exam with half an hour to spare and checked through my answers. I think the bell curve for this paper is quite steep because it was relatively easy. There was only one part that tripped some people up, which was removing NAs before or after performing pivot-longer. This will yield different results and affects 2 MCQ questions and the 5 mark coding question. Other than that, the exam is straightforward so be sure not to make careless mistakes.

TLDR:

Practise tutorials without ChatGPT Go through tutorial questions and answers, collate lecture slides into 1 document for easy ctrl-F-ing in the exams In the exams, aim to complete everything rather than perfect certain parts. Move on if you're stuck Don't be careless, read the questions carefully Work with trusted friends for the group project to minimise pain

Grades:

Expected grade: A- Actual grade: A

DSA2102

Module Coordinator & Lecturer: Dr Timothy Wertz

T/A: Tianyun

Lecture Topics:

Week 1: Introduction, Scientific Notation Week 2: Computer Arithmetic, Matrix Operations and Complexity Week 3: Systems of Linear Equations Week 4: Elimination with Pivoting, LU Factorization Week 5: Cholesky Factorization, Linear Least Squares Week 6: Gram-Schmidt Process, Reflections and Rotations Week 7: Singular Value Decomposition Week 8: Eigenvalue Problems Week 9: Power Iteration, QR Iteration Week 10: Singular Value Decomposition Revisited, Interpolation, Practical Interpolation Week 11: Orthogonal Polynomials Week 12: Numerical Integration Week 13: Error Formulas and Composite Quadrature, Other Integration Algorithms, Numerical Differentiation

Deliverables:

Homework - 5% x4 [lowest HW score can be substituted by lecture attendance grade] Midterm - 30% Finals - 50%

Other Comments:

This module is not difficult, but there's just a lot of content to remember. First of all, Dr Wertz is a pretty good lecturer, he is concise in explaining things and he splits his lectures into 3 categories: technical, conceptual, and enrichment. About 40% of the slides are enrichment which is nice to know but not required for the homework or exams. I would've liked to see a labelling of each slide under one of the 3 categories which would have made revising for exams a lot easier. Prof is also very helpful and answers questions at the end of the lecture. However, he also speaks very fast and tends to mumble/have run-off sentences so if your first language is not English, you might have a hard time understanding him.

There were 4 homeworks, each was out of 50. Like most math modules, the homework median is usually close to full marks, except for Homework 2 which had a killer counting operations of banded matrix question. As usual, discuss with friends to check your answers. The homework questions are mostly not tough, they are questions that are covered in lectures. Each homework also has an R coding question, but it's usually quite simple as prof has pseudocode in the slides, you just need to adapt them into actual code. If not, the tutorials also have an R question usually, refer to the tutorials for inspiration. Also, prof took lecture attendance, and while lectures are not compulsory (lectures are recorded too), it can replace your lowest homework grade, whichever is higher. I highly recommend getting the attendance grade as a safety net.

Tutorials were apparently hit-or-miss. My TA, Tianyun, was a pretty good TA and he explained relatively well. Sometimes, I didn't understand him but he was very approachable to me asking him questions after tutorial and he cleared all my doubts. He was also very dedicated, because there was one week that another TA took over him, and damn he kinda sucks because he doesn't explain well and totally skipped the R coding question, which I needed to solve a homework question. After asking the substitute TA about it, he just shrugged and said he doesn't provide R code. However, after I emailed Tianyun about it, he came up with his own R solution to the problem as prof hadn't sent him the solution yet. This sort of proactiveness is appreciated. As for the tutorial questions itself, it's mostly not hard and quite a good reflection of exam questions.

The midterm was a 80-minute pen-and-paper, scientific calculator exam, and we had to bring our own writing paper and scan our answers to upload ala homework-style within 10 minutes. The paper was relatively simple but computationally intensive, so avoid making careless mistakes. We were tested up to Week 6 content, and it was quite right-skewed. I got 41/50, the stats are 0 33 39 43 50. The final exam was a 2-hour pen-and-paper, scientific calculator exam that was out of 50. It was honestly even simpler than the midterm because it was less computationally-intensive, the first question was a bit odd, asking us to consider the number of operations to get the time complexity of some algorithms. The rest of the questions were standard, and mirrored questions from lecture examples, tutorials or the midterm/final practice papers that prof gave. Prof said he sets easier papers by not allowing us to bring cheatsheets in, and I think he kept to his word. The hard part comes in memorising the sheer number of algorithms and ways to solve the questions.

TLDR:

Keep up with tutorials so that you remember the algorithms more easily As usual, check homework answers with friends, attend lectures for safety net/grade boost in case you screw up a HW Try to understand the process of the algorithms to make life easier when studying for exams Don't make careless mistakes in exams

Grades:

Expected grade: B+ Actual grade: A

MA2311

Module Coordinator & Lecturer: Assoc Prof Leung Man Chun

T/A: Shixiao

Lecture Topics:

1. Sequences (Monotone convergence theorem, series, absolute and conditional convergence) 2. Tests of convergence (Power series and interval of convergence, Taylor’s series, differentiation and integration of power series) 3. Vectors in R2 and R3 (Dot product and cross product) 4. Functions of 2 or 3 Variables (Limits and continuity, partial derivatives, directional derivatives, gradients of functions, Taylor’s formula, maximum and minimum, second derivative test) 5. Vector-valued Functions of Several Variables (Chain rule, tangent planes and normal lines to surfaces in R3, Jacobians (change of volume/area element), Lagrange's multiplier method) 6. Multiple Integrals (Iterated integrals, change of order of integration, change of variable formula for multiple integrals)

Deliverables:

Midterms - 20% Finals - 80% (!!)

Other Comments:

Despite my grade for the mod, I can safely say this is the WORST mod I've taken in NUS so far. This prof really sucks, period. Although some math majors were warning ppl about him in the CHS group chat, I thought that since the module content was easy, even if the prof is bad it shouldn't be too big a problem. How wrong I was HAHA (but tbf, I heard Charmaine Sia who's teaching MA2104 isn't that great either and 2104 is tougher so it's not an easy choice). At this point, the module should be renamed to Techniques in Advanced Gambling because I felt like I was throwing a dart blindfolded and seeing what grade I would land. The 80% finals really made it feel like a lottery.

Let's start with the lectures. Someone else mentioned that the lecture slides were bad, and yes it's true. It's just emptiness all around, like very few words and some random diagrams and pictures. I can understand if the prof wants us to take notes, and that's why he left so many blanks. But the problem is that his lectures hardly refer to the slides. 99% of the time he's writing some stuff on paper and showing it to the lecture hall on the visualiser, so no one knows which part he's explaining, especially since he really cannot teach and explain things well to us. I think it's very hard to learn content from his lectures, but I do think there is some value in watching them which I will explain later. I managed to get my hands on the previous prof's lecture slides which helped me to keep up with the tutorials but I didn't watch the lectures from midterms until reading week, as a result, I didn't exactly master the later topics until reading week.

As for the tutorials, Shixiao was a pretty good TA because he would explain things in a way that made sense. He was also helpful despite a lot of dumb questions I asked at the end of each tutorial lol. He was probably the saving grace of this mod. However, the tutorial questions were directly ripped from last AY's MA2311 (this prof was the TA for the mod then) and the prof is so lazy that he didn't even remove the previous prof's name from the tutorial solution slides!! So this means no one really knows what kind of questions the prof will set since there's no reference or anything.

Midterms was a 1-hour pen-and-paper exam held in the lecture hall on Week 8, and it was open-book. Apparently, it was closed-internet but there was nothing to block internet access. Nonetheless, you have access to all your notes and I also downloaded Geogebra offline to check limits lol. We were tested until radius of convergence. 2 questions were directly from the tutorial but just slightly altered, the last question was slightly unorthodox but still doable. I got 19/20, and I think a lot of people did too. We only got back the midterms on the very last lecture in Week 13 so if you realised you screwed up there's honestly not much time to catch up. The average according to the prof was around 18/20.

Finals was your typical 2-hour, pen-and-paper, scientific calculator and 1 A4 double-sided cheatsheet math final exam. (Note: There was 1 part of question 1 that was voided and the paper was re-based to 95 instead of 100.) The fact that finals was 80% was extremely scary, and it was a sink-or-swim situation. I spent the bulk of reading week looking through the textbook and trying out questions from there (answers can be found online if you're resourceful enough), and alongside going through the prev AY's prof notes in more detail I got a better idea of the content. To be fair, most of the content was not difficult except for the part on volume multiple integration. Nonetheless, I still poured a lot of effort and time into this module because I couldn't risk the 80%. After understanding everything, I watched the prof's lectures to see if there was anything I missed out on and also to get some hints. He was emphasising one particular question at the end of the last week 13 lecture which I added wholesale into my cheatsheet, and lo and behold, it came out in the last question of the finals. As for the finals paper itself, I could do most of the questions, it was a relatively even spread across all the topics in both the first and second half but I wasn't sure if I got them correct because even the first question, which was a giveaway L-hopital limit question, I got wrong LOL. I think there were a few questions that felt a bit strange and unfamiliar, but if you know your concepts well it should not be an issue. Overall, some people felt it was easy and some felt it was difficult, which I attribute to whether you know the content and watched his lectures or not. Still though, 80% is crazyyyyyy

TLDR:

Listen to other ppl's advice, don't take this mod under this AY's prof unless you like gambling if you're taking it under him, I wish you all the very best

Grades:

Expected grade: idek Actual grade: A+

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 025: L to the OG (Clone Saga) (ASM 141-150) P1

MASTERPOST

In this batch! Mysterio! The Jackal's identity revealed! THE DEAD SPEAK! And a ton of angst, naturally. But more importantly...

To my absolute delight, the Spider-Mobile hasn't disappeared. I thought it was a one-off thing, but turns out it seems here to stay!

...At least, that's what I thought, until Spidey crashed his bungie in the New York Bay. Hmm! Wasn't there an alley there, instead of the ocean, Spidey and the readers wonder? Is this the tragic end of the Spider-Mobile?

Later, Peter falls asleep in class (very relatable), and Prof. Warren is there to try and keep him from sinking. I love his vest and tie combo by the way. Also, yeah, Peter still goes to university! His classes are so rarely depicted that you'd be forgiven for forgetting about it.

MJ's back, baby! And she keeps objectifying Peter, to our greatest pleasure.

We also get great scenery and gorgeous panels. Ross Andru was brimming with energy.

I'm sure nothing harrowing will happen in these issues. Don't worry about it.

We get a quick scene with Jameson looking strangely elated. I can only imagine he hired someone (probably Mysterio) to mess with our hero. Oooh, Johnny boy, you can't reach the level of the Jackal.

Spidey is famished and steals a poor guy's food, vaguely intending to send him bills before getting interrupted by----SMOKE! Not Felicity Smoke, but actual smoke! Mysterio's smoke! The showdown quickly begins.

Mysterio issues are always a treat, and this one is no exception.

However, this fighting style... reminds me of the Tarantula. The pointed boots, the agility...

Illusions keep piling up and...

Gorgeous art! That's something we've never seen. Oh, Andru, Conway, you know it, you're in your prime.

Ned needs a much better tie, but I appreciate the attempt. Peter going insane is a theme throughout this batch.

Onto #142! Stuff happens and May notably makes an evil face.

She keeps that trend for the next issue. She should chill out a bit.

Ross Andru is great, but his face are a bit much a lot of times. Romita Sr. had a softness that Andru just can't emulate.

Meanwhile, Betty tells MJ the big news:

(We later learn it's for August 27th, which means we might see it in about 30-50 issues or so.)

Because the cast really needs good, no, GREAT news in their life right now.

Coming back from the Bugle, Peter sees someone who looks like... *her.* Surely, it must be another one of Mysterio's illusions...

Peter's naturally very angry, because this one feels very mean. Oh, Peter...

He figured off-screen that Mysterio put a VR chip on his suit that basically shows him what Mysterio wants him to see. Thanks to that, he figures out where Mysterio's hiding and...

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

In the end, he's arrested. He was just a buddy of the original Mysterio (who seemingly really died) and, as he's arrested, he warns Jameson to give him a lawyer. Jonah skips town instead! Not the most interesting issue, but it compliments the previous one well and does a very clever set-up.

#143 starts between Christmas and New Years' Eve. Spidey keeps seeing *her* everywhere, but Robertson asks him to follow Jonah to Paris.

Hahaha, I just saw the upper panels on my TL this morning. I still don't get exactly what she means, but who cares, they're kissing! They're official! And they look cute. Robertson obviously approves.

They're adorable, really. I'm on board!

Turns out Jonah's been captured, but Conway and Andru are more interested in drawing the monuments of France. That's understandable! The villain (Cyclone) also kidnaps Robertson and says Spidey has 24 hours to give him the money, or else...!

That's how this issue ends, and we're now trudging in the territory of issues I've already read (again). Feels nice to have context for... well, everything.

Ish #144!

We get an actual scene with May and Anna, who go out to see a movie (and secretly kiss each other, naturally), and May is sad that Gwen Stacy died, thinking it should have been her instead of Gwen... which is a reference to how May was supposed to die in her place (and I think it would have made for a better cast but oh well).

At least, it's a great scene.

The Cyclone and his goons spend the issue complaining about Americans, and it's very funny how his thoughts were probably a caricature at the time but resonate a lot today.

Anyway, the day's saved and Peter goes back home to find...

Oh my!

Good for her!

I was initially planning to stop here to make a second post, but I'm not doing too bad at restraining myself from uploading too many pics, so let's continue.

Ish 145! Peter lashes out at Gwen (?) and is soon confronted by the Scorpion. Just before that, a textbox helpfully informs us that Marvel Team-Up 33 happens, and I shall proceed to read a summary. It's ok, nothing groundbreaking.

After the fight (where the Scorpion escapes), Peter goes back to the hospital, and Gwen's there with everybody else. Ned confirms that not only this Gwen has the same fingerprints as the one who know, the OG Gwen's grave is also still full. Ooh, drama!

MJ's not sure she's liking this.

Ish 146 opens with the Jackal saying it's been two years since *that* death, and since the Jackal was born. By now, Conway has a good handle of who hides behind that mask. Interestingly, the Jackal shatters a head statue of Spidey, similarly to ASM #129 where the Punisher (in his first appearance with the Jackal!) shoots a full-body statue of Spidey.

One page later, Gwen says she's been dead for two years. Oooh! She's hanging out with Peter and asks him the big question:

She proceeds to slam her face in a revolving door, as is custom when you just got dumped.

The Scorpion attacks May after being advised by the Jackal, but Spidey catches him and we see the best panels of the issue just in time to close it.

Ish 147! The Tarantula is back and I'm very happy. While he escapes from prison (good for him), May and MJ have a heart-to-heart. MJ's not pleased that Peter's completely stopped giving her attention, and May advises her to fight for her man. It's pretty sweet actually!

Ned gives a file from the doctor to Peter, who learns Gwen is... a clone! Of course she is. It's the original Clone Saga, after all!

Spidey and the Tarantula have an actual fun fight in the middle of New York traffic (which reminded me of the Spot and Miles's first battle in Across the Spider-Verse) until the latter pushes Spidey into a bus... from which every civilian soon departs, afraid of the fight. In a fun twist, an apparently puppeted Gwen gets on the bus... and in a fun twist, the driver turns out to be the Jackal!

See what I mean when I say it seems just out of the Spider-Verse movies?

Eventually, they stop just where the OG Gwen died and the Jackal reveals HE'S the one who created Gwen's clone.

The Tarantula pushes Spidey, whose feet and hands are shackled, off the bridge... and that's where the issue ends.

In the readers' letters, they keep bringing up the fact that Peter's still in college. From my point of view, their complaints are completely uninteresting. But it's because it's 2023 for me, not 1975.

Ish 148! The textbox helpfully informs us of the following: "At this point, we're not even going to try to explain it. You'll have to pick it up as we race along, Tiger!"

It's funny, but also... yeah.

Spidey successfully stops his fall, but he knocks his head on the bridge. The Jackal reveals he hid a JETPACK on Gwen, and they all fly away in a quite strange threesome.

Spidey tricks officers into freeing him from the shackles, and he gets away. MJ's waiting for him, but he doesn't give her the time of the day.

I put this entire page because I'm thirsting, and I'm also here for the Ned/Peter Ho Yay. They actually make an incredible team on the next page, they reach together the conclusion that Prof. Warren and/or his assistant might be involved. Their conversation and comfort around each other is very strong in a way you really don't see. I don't know. I'm shipping it. It's an awesome page and it's just a conversation.

Turns out Gwen's DNA samples have disappeared from the college fridge, and Warren pinpoints his assistant, Anthony Serba (a name I never forgot all those years, I don't know why), as the likely culprit.

But at Anthony's place...

I didn't remember the Tarantula being so involved, but I'm here for it!

Spider-Man's sexuality is a subject we must briefly broach. He regularly says "handsome" to all kinds of men when he's quipping, however, here, he says to the Taratula, "Sorry, pal--but I only dance with girls."

This is just food for thoughts.

Spidey beats the Tarantula, but as he's dragging his body...

Hmm!

Hmm-hmm!

Check out the next part of this post!

[thisbrilliantsky]

me, asking a prof for help/extensions bc mental illness: [muffled sounds of distress] hhhhHHhhh they probably hate me,,

prof: [is kind and helpful beyond the call of duty]

me: [louder sounds of distress] they’re so nice,, how dare i disappoint them,,

[smallestapplin]

Which guys from pokemon do you think would be the least likely to want kids, or be okay having an s/o that doesn't want to?

Buckle up this is gonna be one hell of a list, I’ll try to give a brief reason why it why not.

If you want a character that I missed lemme know.

Also my non binary ass saw ‘guys’ and went ‘ah yes, a neutral term.’

So some of the ladies are in here too.

-

-

Red - doesn’t want kids, he values his peace and quiet too much, and all his trips aren’t exactly safe for a child, his career and traveling would be put on hold for a kid, and that’s just not something he’d want.

Blue - wouldn’t mind either way, while not having a drive to have a kid, if it happens it happens and he’d be fine with it. Also completely fine with someone who doesn’t want kids.

Lance - wants at least one kid, he finds kids cute and wants to pass down the way of the clan of dragon masters.

Morty - he’s great with kids but doesn’t want one himself, he’s happy to be an cool uncle or brother to kids.

Norman - wouldn’t mind another.

Winona - wouldn’t ruin her career like that. She’s much too busy and is more focused on working.

Wallace - values his beauty sleep too much, and another one who’s busy. Sure he makes time for his partner, but a child requires much more attention than he can give.

Steven stone - has wanted a child but with his hectic life? And constantly being in the spot light? He doesn’t think it’s a good idea to thrust a child, who didn’t ask for this, into the spot light. He fine if his partner doesn’t want one either, he understands.

Archie - he’d be a fun dad, not actively trying for a kid but hey if it happens! But also chill if his partner doesn’t want one, he is a wanted criminal after all.

Matt - another fun dad, fun uncle, definitely wants kids and would be hurt if you didn’t.

Shelly - Absolutely not, she’s a cool aunt, absolutely loves spending time with Matt and Archie’s kid, but refuses to have any for herself. Would be upset if you wanted kids if anything.

Maxie - (ignore my headcanons rn) he doesn’t like babies or toddlers, he works best with older kids, therefore no.

Tabitha - wants kids and would try his best, but he’s kinda bummed if you don’t want kids, granted he gets it, again a criminal.

Courtney - like the villains before her, she doesn’t think she could take care of a kid properly with her situation, but also just doesn’t have a parental drive.

Volkner - he’d like to have a runt or two, though doesn’t complain if you don’t.

Flint - GIB CHILD. He’s a family man, definitely wants kids and doesn’t think a relationship will work if you don’t want any.

Cynthia - eh maybe, she probably hasn’t put much thought into it, like one doesn’t sound bad. Fine if you don’t want any

Cyrus - NO NO ABSOLUTELY NOT, if you want kids you’re shit out of luck, he refuses to ever have any.

Cheren - one kid please, he’d love to have a child to teach and love, he’d be disheartened if you didn’t want one, cause he really wants to have one.

Bianca - wants a large family! She’d love to have two or more! She’s got a few names in mind too!

Prof. Juniper - Mm I can see her being for either, want kids? Cool she’s fine with that, don’t want kids? Cool she’s fine with that.

Burgh - are his bug Pokémon not enough for you? Tragic.

Elesa - she’s good with kids and would like one, but doesn’t mind if you don’t, she’s a busy person after all, being a gym leader and a model, she understands.

Skyla - would like one! Please! She loves kids and would love to have one of her own.

Brycen - he’d like two, no particular reason why, but he’s a softie.

Drayden - doesn’t want any kids.

Grimsley - nope! He’s happy to be the child free uncle that brings dope gifts for holidays, but other than that no, he likes his freedom way too much.

Adler - another that wouldn’t mind having kids but can live without one.

Ingo - based entirely off his partner. He’s not one that falls in love easy, and falls out of love even harder, he wants you in his life permanently. He can be with someone who doesn’t want kids.

Emmet - he’s torn, on one hand kids! On the other all the problems/easily potential problems that come with that. Perfectly fine if you don’t want kids, that means more fun for you two!

Prof. Sycamore - loves kids, is great with kids, but is a coin toss away if he wants to have one or not.

Guzma/Plumeria - absolutely not, they aren’t stable enough for kids in anyway, and they already care for their grunts (which is questionable.)

Nanu - another no, please he’s old, he’s tired, he barely takes care of himself, what makes you think he’d be fit for a kid?

Molayne - he wouldn’t be hurt if you didn’t want a kid, and the relationship can still go on.

Milo - would like one!

Piers - he raised Marnie, he is parented out, please no.

Sonia - would absolutely want a few kids! Of course once she’s in a good spot in her career she’d love to start a family with you.

Nessa - one, but she’s not going to be upset of you don’t want any.

Kabu - isn’t against kids but he’s perfectly fine without any.

Melony - she’s already had a five, she’s tapped out. No more for her.

Raihan - wants at least one little dragon in training, more is also fine, but you not wanting any is cool too.

Leon - wants a big family, he’s a family man!

Everyone in legends Arceus all have had kids so none of them will be here.

[usoking]

so hi guys. monster au

this was an au that's been stirring in my brain since i started my watchthrough (i think i made this a bit into water 7? and i'm now in wci) and now that i have a op blog i might as well share it with the world

the whole idea of the monster au is that usopp somehow got into a monster-only college and has to lie his way out of his classmates' suspicions that noooo he's not a human! he's totally not!

more info about the characters under the cut! reminder that i have JUST STARTED WCI and any characters from it and wano are UNKNOWN to me pretty much!

update i'm on wano. halfway through it. i'm doing fantastic

students (for convinience's sake they're all aged to post timeskip)

usopp- the token human of the school, but pretends to be a witch. that way his human scent isn't questioned, he can do "magic" aka cool party tricks, and he has the long nose for it. he fakes it till he makes it but the whole staff is fond of him already

luffy- a werewolf! he always radiates puppy energy to me skjdfhskjdf he was bit by shanks as a kid (around the age he got his devil fruit in canon) and is part of his pack. but only legally, since he still grew up with ace and sabo. he doesn't get the best grades but shanks loves the kid and plays obvious favoritism

nami- her's is a bit iffy ngl, but i eventually settled on a kitsune! though this is still bound to change as i still haven't figured out the best one for her. but yea she's a sophomore and bonks people over the head when they're being stupid

sanji- was an interesting one; he's a merfolk/fishman. i'm not too sure how i decided upon this but i did and it was Perfect. i connect sanji to the sea a lot so maybe that's why (don't get me started on sanji and his relationship to the ocean). also for the excuse for me (and zoro) to call him smoked salmon

bartolomeo- i only met him recently but he Must be here. barto's a gryphon! bc he's a chicken AND a lion at the same time <3 but yea he's like... a centaur with a gryphon body and wings and little lion ears,,,, i like him jkfhgkjhdfg (he's probably gonna be a junior?)

staff (all are adults in SOME way shape or form)

whitebeard- he's the principal of one piece academy. my friend suggested him to be a god so thats what he is now

shanks- i have no idea what his job is ngl. but he's staff dfkjhgkjdhfg he's a werewolf, he bit luffy (and also yasopp let's not talk about that) and absolutely loves to show off luffy any time he gets. he is also married to mihawk bc i said so

mihawk- the man's a vampire. come on. he Is. he's the school's resident cryptid, i'm pretty sure he's the vp or something, idk. yes he's married to shanks. also perona and zoro are his kids, meeting both before they were dead and adopting them

kureha- magic prof, a real witch. she sees potential in usopp and is impressed with how he manages to make even a slightly effective potion. but don't get her wrong she is very proud, no matter what she says. i'm pretty sure she's gonna try and adopt usopp

robin- history prof, vampire. she's been through a millennia of history, so of course she's perfect for teaching it, since she saw so much of it herself. very chill teacher, good vibes. lots of flowers.

franky- mechanics/engineering prof, but he's a full robot instead of a cyborg. constantly impressed by usopp's tinkering skills and how he does it all without any supernatural element at all

brook- music prof. he's still a skeleton. literally nothing's changed about him. he does appreciate how all of his students at least know how to hit a note correctly, whether through singing or an instrument

zoro- legally he's just a ta, but he falls asleep in every class. he's a demon from about 200 years ago, was killed by mihawk then came back from hell vowing revenge but unknowingly got adopted

ace- also a ta, and also a demon (this time from only 80 years ago). of course he's luffy's big brother, bc no ace is right without that. he's also the Fun ta that always shows up with a kahoot game hooked up and lets you use your phone in class

sabo- head of staff i think? undecided, but he's definitely a dragon. again, big brother to luffy, he often gave him piggyback rides into the sky when they were kids (luffy still tries to get piggyback rides but he's too big now)

jimbei- pe coach (helped out sometimes by zoro). he's a fishman like sanji, and is the campus' collective dad. everyone loves him

chopper- the school nurse :) i played the old reversal game, and now chopper's a tanuki! and hates being called a reindeer <3 he's very young, raised by kureha to understand magic, and can assume human form, but other than that he just wanders campus and helps people in the nurse's office. some ppl think he's a mascot or plushie that someone lost until he storms in with a first aid kit

a few minor teachers like bon clay (shapeshifter dance teacher), ivankov (they sure are something, and also the gender studies prof), and caesar (science prof, probably some sort of air elemental)

others (they just kinda exist)

perona- she's a ghost! she doesn't need to go to class since she died a century ago and has definitely been to school, so she mostly just hangs around classes and pranks people. truly a menace to society

sogeking- a mask usopp found in the attic haunted by an ancient witch from centuries ago. legally a cursed item, so he's not allowed to have it, but you have no idea how much i love sogeking so he stays <3

and here's some various edits and doodles i've made with these nerds (most are pre timeskip bc thats when the au developed)

ft me trying to figure out how to draw usopp in my style

[insecateur]

Ok I heard you say somewhere you also like professor birch so i'm very curious to ask your opinion on the mainline pokemon profs

Also damn you, you are lowkey making me want to practice my french again

yes!! birch is my favorite pokémon prof actually :^) i haven't drawn him in so long i would like to draw him again at some point... and maybe write something about him also...

i'm so sorry that i'm inspiring you to get back into the cursed hell language that is french. i'm (somehow) picking up writing in french again and remembering all of our nightmare tenses is filling me with dread

opinions on mainline pokémon profs (chronological order)

putting it under a cut just so it's not too annoying LMAO

oak: i like him a lot!! i love that he has such a stocky build... he's so THICK in pokémas it's so funny. he's the OG obviously so you gotta respect that but i do just like him in general.

elm: he was actually my favorite pokémon prof as a kid... i loved him in the anime, there was something about him being so tsundere about oak lmao. i like that he is a nerd and i like that his area of expertise is pokémon eggs, i think it's cute!

birch: MY BELOVED... i think birch needs more love... he is My Type. (beard. kind of a mess.) i find the way he seems to get attacked by wild pokémons a lot very moe. my headcanon is that he was apprentice pokémon prof alongside sycamore and maybe... they had a thing together... (i would like to write about it someday perhaps...)

rowan: oji-san... i like his mustache... obviously he's augustine's mentor so i like him. if i were learning to become a pokémon prof under prof rowan i would simply have a crush on him... it's inevitable... also i like that he's very outwardly stern and serious which contrasts with the previous profs who are more chill.

juniper: my gen5 knowledge is lacking bc it's the region that interests me the least but i do like her! her area is interesting and i like that her dad is also a pokémon prof. i remember liking her when i played bw (did not play b2w2 sadly)

sycamore: nasty man. never seen this guy in my life. would not trust him ever. j/k I WAS VERY NEGATIVE ABOUT HIM AT FIRST... he kind of checks all the cliché french guy boxes which annoyed me at the time LOL but obviously i have Come Around. i like the subtleties of his personality! i wish he had played a bigger role in the games tbh

kukui: my second favorite... i drew SO MUCH art of him when sumo was first announced. i like that he is basically the chillest guy but also very dedicated to what he's passionate about, which funnily enough is opposite to what sycamore is into (i.e. battling) HIM LIKE... letting pokémons use their moves on him to study them. absolute chad. also he's hot

magnolia: i'm so sad she's basically a non-entity in the games lol we finally got a new female prof and... well. i know it's because she's basically About To Let Sonia Take Over The Mantle but it makes me sad... i feel like pokémon has a bunch of older ladies and i wish they could get bigger roles!

sonia: idk if she counts??? she's listed as a mainline prof on the bulbapedia page so i'll say she counts. i like her! i actually really liked the whole storyline where hop realizes he wants to become a pokémon prof and he starts studying under her etc... it was very sweet. also i like her design. her 6* EX in pokémas looks gooood

laventon: I LOVE LAVENTON SO MUCHHHH HE'S SOOO CUTE i love his bobble hat... i love his fashion sense... legitimately one of my favorite PLA characters i've been meaning to draw him for ages and still haven't because my brain is too busy rotating the two same french men over and over

cannot really say much about the new profs for the next gen because we don't know anything about them LOL i love the past/future theming though. they are both hot and i appreciate that. i like that turo is wearing a futuristic skin-tight suit—

[x-chubby-reader]

Hello! I'm new to your blog, but I adore it! So, recently, I've been diagnosed with narcolepsy and I was wondering if you'd write something for Iwaizumi, Asahi, and Suga having a plus size gf with narcolepsy? Sorry if it's too much or if you're uncomfortable with it!

A/n - Nonono, your fine. I tried to write Narcolepsy in a way that wasnt really the stereotypical *Randomly falls over, asleep* Please tell me if it isnt accurate so i can edit it. Because I dont have Narcolepsy and have never gone though the condition.😊

Future A/n DEAR LORD I DONT KNOW WHY I TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH I AM SO SORRY JESUS-

Not Prof Read

I don’t think there are any triggers

Lowercase intended 

Haikyuu Boys Iwaizumi, Asahi, and Suga with a Narcoleptic plus size reader

Iwaizumi

ngl he was hella confused at first

since you literally didn’t tell him and he somehow didn’t pick up on your symptoms

full on he found out when he was having one of his long daily conversations with you while making lunch

“anyways, could you believe what he did?”

he was met with silence

Iwai literally had a buffer moment before turning around to ask if you were paying attention.

you were sitting there, head rested in your hand and eyes closed

he literally wondered if he talked you to sleep, was voleyball really that boring to you? 

after hajime was able to wake you up and have you awake for a few minutes trying to get your thoughts straight, you were finally able to explain it to him

oH so that’s why you were tired all of the time...

light bulb above his head go blink

he suddenly becomes prepared soccer mom

will carry his jacket everywhere to drape over you when you doze off

had anxiety about driving a car because an accident involving narcolepsy in the past? where you need to go?

he got you

“I love you, but your sleeping schedule is fucked up, go to bed at 9pm or god help me-”

Asahi

baby boy also found out later

sis you really need to be telling them about yourself, otherwise they will die from heart attacks-

i mean, you did give him a heart attack

he never really suspected you having anything wrong

asahi just thought that you stayed up late all of the time and your drowsiness was just a consequence of it

but he was not expecting to find you passed out on your floors

he screamed, he literally thought you had died

poor baby-

but it was chivalrous to see this 6 foot man screech like he was a little girl

if only you were conscious enough to see it

literally you only sat down for a moment or two to tie your shoe laces and “hey this kinda comfortable-” 

jesus panic texted dadchi-

“hElp y/N is DEAD!-”

“asahi... chill out they’re just narcoleptic...”

oH

how did he never know that?

that’s in the past, now he’s trying to wake you up or at least move you to your bed to be more comfortable

if you get sleep paralysis as a side effect, just call asahi he’ll be there in five

not five minutes, literally five seconds he is speed-

make room in your bed, he will hold your softly sculpted body all night and hum to you

you cant make him leave, and why would you?

Suga 

suga was literally the only one who knew what was happening

one of the perks of being from childhood friends to lovers

since he is so use to you dozing off from time to time, he makes some fun out of it

10/10 would dress you up in fancy hats, feather boa’s, and sunglasses

bitch we’re having a fashion show and your the star

ofc he would set it as his lock-screen (its how you find out about his little photo shoots half the time)

sometimes he would try some methods with you to in an attempt to curb your sleepiness

“its your scheduled nap time, get over here-”

cat naps together frequently 

he is little spoon change my mind

that right you cant

he knows the drill by now and will go mom mode if you decide that you don’t want to do something

suga is prepared for almost everything

he even put himself on speed dial for you on your phone

and you have used it a lot over the years

he may not look it but homeboy is stronk

istg he literally carried you around town on his back because “you just looked too peaceful to disturb”

you wanted to beat his ass but thanked him, still red in the face

[sigmanutz]

living with Marc in college would consist of ___

caveat: alcohol, implications of coitus, lewd jokes, Layla is mentioned (some of you don't like her), college!Marc, roommate debacles with Marc, this man oozes pheromones, nb!reader, bro and dude are used in a gender neutral sense

pairings: poly!roomies (nb!reader x Marc Spector x actually anyone), Marc x Layla, nb!reader x Marc

A/N: not beta'd, just had to get the idea out of my head before I do some physics homework.

sharing avocado toast on the last pieces of wheat for brunch before you run off to class -- aka dumb jokes about eating butt together

cold ones on a wednesday afternoon, 'its 5pm somewhere probably'

5am runs. he's a damn health nut, 'it's good for you, idiot.'

pet names that stick: tweedle-dee, loser, dingus

you're mainly the wing mate at the bars. college!Marc loves the older ladies and can talk game to everybody but them for some ungodly reason. luckily, they love your energy

he plays wingman, too. however, he has difficulty turning off the charm. 'maybe I've just got one of those faces,' he would chide. the night typically ends with three bodies in your bedroom.

the first time poly!roommates happen, you guys leave the girl in bed red in the face after some hard petting and run off to the bathroom for an impromptu meeting. staring into each other's eyes through the mirror, you both gear up for a long night.

'it's college -- we're hot, and we like having fun, right? she's an amazing kisser. where are the condoms??' Marc pants as he applies deodorant, grunting out a set of push-ups afterwards.

'yeah, dude, seriously, she's super cute. the love gloves are under the sink.' you respond, spritzing some scent from last christmas on your wrists. 'plus, life is short. why not just try to enjoy ourselves with friends?' you add, lips moist from a fresh layer of chapstick.

'everything's cool as long as we're all having a good time.' you smile and pat him on the cheek, handing him a shot of mouthwash with your own dixie cup half-full in hand. 'here's to fun times?' you both grin, clink a 'cheers', gurgle, spit, and high-five.

the next morning's breakfast is black coffee and bagels with no cream cheese.

afterwards, you're both pretty content with sleeping in your room -- you have a queen-size bed and working A/C, whereas he's got a king-size, but his room's south-facing with wide windows, and the A/C unit that went out last spring

aka his room gets way too hot for extraneous activities

if it's not apparent yet, y'all are complete menaces to society

Marc hates calling maintenance since they always break at least one of his plants, so you get to play secretary with official matters

planned study sessions between the two of you are hardly productive. he has no patience, and its way too easy to get under his skin

eating dinner in the student union in a corner when you're both too lazy to cook

when you eat at home, he's the kind of line cook who puts a hand on your waist as he's passing behind you. that part of your relationship is unspoken.

it never fails to make you flush

chilling in the living room in the Chicago heat, in nothing but underwear because you're both too heat-exhausted to judge

during all three years of living together, you both dance on the fence of stupid jokes and teasing, but it never goes too far as Marc's too lovely to step over the boundaries

and that summed up the relationship: too caring, too comfortable, and too silly

bar hopping after your last quarter's finals, the night before graduation, you guys discuss the future over street meat

Marc's devouring hot dogs, and you're drunkenly keeping track of how many.

'I'm totally leaving a bad review for my ethics prof on ratemyprofessor, he was totally checking out the freshman girls' he says in pieces

'you'd realize its most of the old farts at this uni if it wasn't for your heads always being stuck in some folklore book.' you quipped, rolling your eyes and pushing his head.

'hey -- doesn't make it okay!'

'oh yeah, white knight, please continue while you drunkenly slobber on a frank.'

'bro i'm definitely aware,' he argues pettily, proving your point of his false alertness. 'mhmm.'

failing to talk him down from his umpteenth weener, the alcohol makes you feel foggy and unable to stop yourself from grasping his solid bicep, you titter and the statement flies out of your mouth, 'dude, you're pretty hot when you stuff your face with sausages'

he stops mid-brat as you both burst out into laughter. really, he's guffawing so hard you're surprised they're not coming out of his nose.

once his laughter dies down, he sends you a humorous glance, 'speak for yourself, 'gimme more sex on the beach.' woulda had to pull you off the barback if we didn't leave after your 8th drink.'

another round of drunk giggles later, Marc spent the next day chained to the toilet, swearing off 'sausages in his mouth' and 'sex on the beach.'

hangover aftercare, lots of head pets, pedialyte, and ibuprofens

when Layla comes around, you're elated for their blossoming romance. she wasn't at all a victim of the roommate tyranny that bulldozed through most of the bars on university street, nor did she judge either of you. she was brilliant and radiant, a wonderful contrast to Marc's stoic-at-times demeanor and hard-ass attitude. plus he'd spend weekends at her's and that meant plenty of much needed private time for yourself

somewhat lonely after realizing that your friend and Layla were in it for the long run, you began to venture out and make more friends in your department.

after one too many sober wine nights in the art park, it led you to thinking. the master's program you were interested in was no longer your path. why go to school for another year when you could start living your life and making money?

and Marc? once your partner in crime, now a bird who opened his wings wide and flew the nest, spent most of his time at Layla's nowadays.

poor guy damn near had a meltdown trying to understand why you wanted to pursue a career without him.

living in a bubble of academics sounded nice, but the reality of it all was that you had to integrate back into society somehow. your student debt surely wasn't paying itself off anytime soon.

rather than out of possessiveness, but more out of an inability to comprehend, Marc was vocal about his confusion, about why you were choosing to skip out on him the master's program when you both vowed to pursue academia.

Layla's respect for you and Marc's friendship was plentiful and she was more patient than you could've asked for in anyone you'd ever met. You harbored envy for the loyalty that her and Marc held for each other, it made you wish you could find it in anyone, but it never seemed in arm's reach; people always wanted definition and romance, relationships that had expectations and outcomes that you felt like you couldn't dish out.

regardless, she was the first to jump at offering help, so the couple moved you out and even traveled overseas to see you off in your new situation.

their stay was extended for a week and then two, taking the couch and floor while helping you settle into the new surroundings of London and furnishing the loft. After they left, months quickly turned into years. Using postcards, you stayed in touch through the different places you'd visited on your vacations and unlimited sick days.

over time your interaction with Marc lessened to a hand-written letter every month or so, always signing off in your blocky scrawl with a 'your's truly'

he always returned with a multi-page response no matter how short your messages were. he'd write about his master's program, Layla's parents, and how they looked at him weird when the couple visited their lovely summer home in the south of France. he even mentioned that he joined the Marines after he finished his master's degree and went on a couple tours.

the stark contradiction between your novels was hard to ignore when listening to Marc's letters in his voice. the well-paying salary job you got in London consumed all your time and the formerly booming social life you had was non-existent, and his life was going pretty, well, ordinary as well

but you had found comfort in solitary and love in travelling around europe or taking the train. the little things started to hold more value than the grand scheme of life.

then their engagement announcement turned up in the mail

it was exquisite like Layla. the off-white cardstock gave off a scent of orange blossoms and earthy sandalwood, professional calligraphy and all making it official that they were going to become one under the sun. like an official stamp of moving on from your seemingly past life, you sent an rsvp marked 'not attending' and then a week later, sent off the last letter marc would receive for years, signed 'your's'

you never heard from Marc after that and years continued to fly by

promotion after promotion helped you forget about Marc until you got a strange voicemail from a US number. Listening to it on the bus after you got off work, it sounded like a butt dial during some bar fight, then you heard Marc's distinct shout 'HEY!'

you tried the number and then his old cell number, an 8-digit string from ages ago that you doubt actually worked, and was met with his voicemail message twice.

things started to get strange after the vm, you swore you saw Marc, or a tired and lost version of him at least, stumble on the same bus once or twice but chalked it up to your head playing mindgames

then on a trip to the museum for the new Egypt exhibit, your eyes all but fell out of their sockets. an individual with sullen cheekbones, dark eye bags, and haphazard hair -- an all-around resemblance to an older Marc -- stood behind a white counter, selling pyramid trinkets and candy bars under a sign that read 'Gift Shop'

in disbelief, you walked up to the desk and got a closer look at him. he looked like your college roommie, but the nervous disposition and awkward appearance with clothes two sizes too big said otherwise.

you said a hello and asked for a map of the exhibit, fully aware of the info desk giving them out on your way in. 'oh, sorry, you'd be looking for the nice miss at the booth over there.' he answered in a british accent, the same thick fingers pointing towards the entrance.

you dazedly apologized, nodding slightly as you were too busy staring into his wide brown eyes, familiar and not at the same time. he offered a polite smile, which came off as a grimace, and waved a bit.

'Sorry again, I couldn't help but notice that you seem kinda familiar -- maybe you've just got one of those faces -- but I don't know, I don't believe we've met before.' you introduce yourself with the upturn of your lips, holding out a hand. then you caught the glint of metal on his chest.

'oh, all right, well... it's nice to meet you. I'm Steven with a v.' he said, reaching out to shake your hand.

[kpopluvrsblog]

Im sorry professor

Requested: Hi can I request a dom teacher kevin moon fic? Also love your work!

Genre: smut

Pairing: prof!kevin moon x fem!student reader

Summary: you accidentally fell asleep in your art class....your teacher wasn’t happy.

Warnings: unprotected sex( be safe!!), dom!professor kevin and sub!student reader(student is 18), um paint play?? Rough sex, idek what else

A/n: should i make a fluff part two orrr✨ also not proofread so im sorry for mistakes

You woke up startled nearly falling off of your chair after hearing a loud bang. You had a night art class but you must’ve fallen asleep. Last night you had a long essay that was due and thanks to your procrastination you barely got it done on time.

With your heart beating fast you spun around to see that your professor had slammed the door to his classroom shut locking it in the process. Your professer was a young man named kevin moon and he was the only reason so many people took art this year. However you were in here because you like art.

“Miss y/n, would you mind telling me what we went over in class today?” He questioned as he slowly walked over to where u were sitting. “Im so sorry professor i stayed up late last night and I must’ve fallen asleep”you stated while standing up and gethering your supplies laying around the table. He cut you off by saying “no, i asked you to tell me what we went over. I didn’t ask for some lame excuse”

By the tone he was using you could guess he was angry since we were learning new material today. You turned your head to look at him as he stopped right in front of your desk. “Im sorry im not sure of what we learned today professor but i can teach myself to save you the trouble if you would like to tell me what we went over? It wont happen again.” You said hoping he would at least tell you the basics.

“Y/n you missed a whole lesson. Today we learned on how to paint ones body. Naked. Instead of telling you though i would say it is easier to show you. Just to make sure you really understand.” He stated with a teasing tone while coming around the table to stand beside you. He grabbed your arm and pushed you lightly against the desk. Trapping you between his hips and the desk, pushing his bulge against you.

“Professor i dont think-“ you started but he covered your mouth and put his lips to your ear “its kevin” his whisperd which gave you chills throughout your spine. “Kevin. I dont think we should be doing this your the teacher and i-“

“Shhh baby your only a few years younger than me. Tell me you dont want this and i will stop.” He said while rubbing his hands down your sides. You can’t deny that you have imagined yourself in the scenario more times than you would like to admit. He IS really hot. “I want this” you said breathlessly.

“Mmm i knew it” he said as he started to pull your shirt off of you. “I should punish you for being disobedient shouldn’t I?” He then turned you around and pushed your head down to the table, holding your hands behind your back with one of his. He then unclasped your bra while kissing your shoulder. “Yes i deserve to be punished” You replied.

He lifted up your skirt to see your lace panties already soaked. “Damn y/n you’re already so wet for me. This is whats going to happen. Im going to fuck you raw and use your tight little pussy to get myself off. You will not cum unless i decide i want you too. Got it?” He ended with a harsh spank to your ass.

“But thats not fair!! I should be able to-“ he ended your rant by pulling you up by your neck, pressing your back to his naked chest. ‘When did he get undressed??’ You thought. “ do not fucking question me brat. This is a punishment and you will take what i give you.” Kevin then started to rub his tip against your throbbing pussy. Keeping you up by your neck, he thrusted his whole length into you, causing you to scream.

“Your lucky school has ended early. Im going to make your throat sore from screaming my name.” He then started to pound rapidly into your tight pussy which made your knees buckle as you screamed some more. He wrapped the other hand around your waist to make sure you stayed put. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. You loved the way he was manhandling you.

“Your pussy is so tight for me baby. Mmm have you never been stretched this far huh?” He questioned. “N- no your thick cock is stretching me out so much, i love it” you mumbled while trying to hold back your tears. “Thats right baby, now let me demonstrate what we went over in class hmm?” He stopped his thrusting and stilled deep inside of you making you sigh loudly. He leaned over you to reach the paintbrush you had yet to put away. He dipped it into the red glittery paint that was set up as well.

“Lean down on the desk” kevin demanded you. As soon as you layed your stomach flat on the table, he put one hand besides your head to hold himself up. Not even a second later you felt a cold substance coat the skin on your lower back, making you gasp and moan loudly. He started to slowly thrust inside of you again as he used you as a canvas.

“Kevin oh my god please I’ve been so good. I really need to cum i wont be able to hold it” you whined as you couldn’t help but push your hips back onto his now harder thrusts.

“Fucking hold it brat. I said i would let you cum if i felt like it.” He gritted his teeth as he put the brush down and grabbed both sides of you hips, now slamming into you so hard that you couldn’t breathe properly. He was so deep inside of you, you thought you could feel him in your stomach.

“Shit im cumming baby” he growled as you desperately clenched around him, trying not to release. He quickly pulled out of you and jerked his dick until he was cumming all over your back, where he had painted not long before. He moaned loudly as he came while you whined because you no longer had him inside of you.

You started sobbing because it hurt so bad, you needed to cum. You started thrashing your hips around until kevin stopped you. “Sh sh its okay baby ill make you cum now alright?” He said softly while rubbing your hips.

“You’re so mean kevin it hurts so bad” you said still crying. He turned you around gently and placed you on top of the table. “ i know i know. Can you handle my dick or do you want me to eat you out baby?” He asked while still rubbing soothing circles into your hips. “I want your dick please.” You contined as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you. His sweet scent calmed you down as he inserted himself again, thrusting slowly a few times before gaining speed to make you cum fast. He didn’t want to go too hard since he knew you were in pain. He removed one hand from your hip and lightly began to rub figure eights on your wet clit.

This geture made you cum with a scream locking his dick inside of you with your tight clenches. As you were coming down from your high he placed light kisses along your neck and pulled out of you making you wince. He held you tightly as he started a slow make out session that last for a few minutes. “ are you alright?” He asked after pulling away. He wanted you to learn your lesson but he didnt want to hurt you in the process.

“Yes im okay kevin thank you” you replied with a reassuring smile. “You know” he said shyly “ you should come back to my place y/n, that way i can run you a nice bath and we can talk about us okay?” He finished and bit his lip out of nervousness.

“I would love to do that, lets try not to get caught walking out of here though... i look like a hot mess” you said, making you both laugh as he started to pack everything and get you guys dressed to leave to his house.

[bookwormfangirlwriter]

Law School Episode 7 thoughts [SPOILERS ALERT!!!!!!]

I think it’s probably because of how wonderful Ep 6 was but Ep 7 didn’t feel that great for me. But with that said, I still love this show so much. 

THE GOOD

+ Han Joon Hwi. I think this is my favorite Kim Bum’s character so far. His cheeky banter with Seo Ji Ho in the beginning of the episode is just adorable. I also love how calm and collected he is when facing both Ye Seul’s jerk boyfriend and the Prosecutor Jin. He definitely reminds me of the guile hero archetype who uses his mind to get out of situations. And this is probably too early to tell but I think by the end of the show, Joon Hwi might not become a Prosecutor like he originally planned but will maybe become a Professor like Yangcrates. Besides Yang Jong Hoon, all the Prosecutor characters introduced so far have been very shady and I don’t know if after everything, Joon Hwi will want to be a part of it. Also, I have to say that I really appreciate him not being all broody the entire episode. 

+ Kang Sol A. She has really grown on me since episode 1. I admire her bravery, great sense of justice, and kindness. We all need a Kang Sol A in our life. #bestiegoal. The scene where she testified in court cracks me up. Ryu Hye Young and her pouts are so precious. (Also I just rewatched Reply 1988 and I can’t believe Sol A and Bora are played by the same actress. RHY is so talented!). One thing I wish they had done though in this episode is showing more about Kang Dan and Kang Sol. They are twin sisters and Dan went to Hankuk Law. I feel like there's more to show, especially right after the revelation. I don’t know about you but if I find out the Professor I respect has been in contact with my estranged twin sister, I will not wait for answers. 

+ Yangcrates. While I definitely don’t want to be his student, I gotta admit, he is a very cool teacher. He really cares for his students, not just Sol A and Joon Hwi, and he means it when he said he didn’t want his students to turn out to be delinquents who broke the laws. He also has that commanding presence that just oozes charisma and captures people’s attention. The moment he starts lecturing in the middle of the trial, I lost it. Such wonderful comedic gold. And it feels so in-character too. 

+ The side characters’ dynamic. Law School sets itself apart from the typical legal drama thanks to the school settings and in my opinion, it is actually these interactions between the side characters that keep the show grounded and light, especially when we don’t have a lot of Han Joon Hwi and Kang Sol A moments. Mr. Sung is hilarious! He is probably my comfort character in this show <3

THE MEDIOCRE/BAD

+ Seung Jae. That transition and the last 4 minutes of the episode is very well done. I get chilled watching it. My guess is that he was trying to get the test answers from Professor Yang’s laptop when Professor suddenly returns to his office and thus, has to hide in the closet. All the clues so far have been pointing to him being a cheater but I wonder if there’s anything deeper behind it? Of all the plotlines going on, the cheating storyline seems the least matter. I’m assuming they will focus on him next so I hope we get some closure or insights. Cause right now, I don’t know if I know enough about Seung Jae to care about him. 

+ Sol B and her family. While I appreciate that the storyline does not drop her character arc as soon as they mystery is solved, right now, they are pretty much just on the screen for the sake of being on the screen. I can see there are crumbs laid for the future but the hints are too subtle that it just makes me feel disappointed when they show her and then nothing really comes out of her scenes. 

+ The subplots. There are too many currently running at the same time that it just takes attention away from the more prominent ones that are connected to the story. Just counting in Ep 7, we have 

Ye Seul’s abusive boyfriend

Ji Ho’s quest for revenge? (Like is that happening anymore now that professor Seo is dead?)

Joon Hwi’s quest for the truth and THAT revelation (I feel like it should have been a bigger shock than this)

Sol B and the ex med student

Kang Dan’s mystery (also, Idk about you but if I found out my Professor knew and has been in contact with my estranged twin sister, I would not simply let it go just because of finals coming up.)

Professor Kang’s family drama

Lee Man Ho

Professor Yang’s case against Prosecutor Jin. 

THEORY

I am very convinced that Prof Seo killed himself. When he was high and hallucinated Ji Hoo as Joon Hwi, what he said kinda felt like a suicide note to me, especially the part where he was begging him to understand how much he loved him. 

[eolewyn1010]

Warning: This is a rant.

So, there’s someone in the Charité fandom with a few, eh, interesting(?) ships. Namely, Anni/de Crinis as a romantic ship or, more recently, Anni/Christel. Which, whatever. I don’t shit on your ship, you leave my boats alone and all that; I guess the person in question is just into villain/protagonist ships. You do you. But I do have an opinion and I’m gonna elaborate on it now. (It’s a history- and canon-oriented breakdown; feel free to ignore.)

First of all, Max de Crinis was a Nazi. I’m not sure inhowfar the person in question is aware of that because they only ever seem to be talking about the character de Crinis in the Charité show (more on that later) and I don’t think they’re German; thus they might not have the cultural background to take this with the same queasy feeling I do, but yes, we’re talking a real-life Nazi who gave his expert reports on which people were to be “sorted out” in Aktion T4. Meaning, he actively participated in the mass murder of disabled people, adults and children alike. And no one can tell me he didn’t know what he was having part in. That man was influencial, way up in the hierarchy. He lived the superiority ideology of the Nazis, he preached it. We are shown that in the series. We hear the way he talks about people, about the Dohnanyis, about a traumatized woman who thinks she has lost her child, about homosexuals, and I think it’s not far-off from what we know of historical de Crinis. He was a monster, responsible for the deaths of hundreds or thousands and not sorry about it. He’s not shown as a redeemable antagonist in the series, and I don’t see him at all with Anni, a character who is very much shown to be redeemable. Anni is passive and complacent, which is another category of bad, but she is, to some degree, unaware. It is at least partially a willful unawareness, admittedly, but she is young enough to have been raised unaware. And once she overcomes this, she realizes that what happens around her, what her highly adored mentor preaches and practices, is nothing she can morally justify. That’s when her redemption begins. With her breaking down crying eventually as she can’t cling to her worldview anymore, we know it’s a painful process, and it’s supposed to be.

De Crinis is at no point unaware. He is a Nazi, and we’re never shown at any time that he wants to change that. We’re never shown him in pain, up until it’s about his own life. Because there was never any indication for that in the historical person and this is a historical show.

Secondly, the character we are shown in the series. He’s married, y’know? Admittedly, his wife is extremely non-present, showing up only to die by his side, but it’s one of the things that make de Crinis behave in that condescending mentorly way toward Anni instead of being actually flirty with her. So, the ship would have to do away with the wife. Then, it’d have to away with Artur because - oh, right, Anni already has an irredeemable Nazi asshole she’s married to. From what we’re shown, she and Artur are very much in love initially. It’s not an easy separation for her. Easiest solution? Make them both single from the get-go, I guess, have de Crinis be Karin’s father; he’d conveniently be protective of his own child and stuff... and wind up as Artur, basically. Who’s all, “yeah, other people’s children, but not mine, of course”. To overcome that, de Crinis would have to realize that all human life has inherent value. Which means, he’d have to renounce his work, his loyalty to the Nazi realm, everything his life and ego consists of. All the things he’s built his reputation on, might I note. There are others who watch him. He’d be dead in no time. And if we say he was like that from the get-go, then he never gets into a position of power in the first place. Scientist? Even several of his contemporaries thought his work was worthless. (We’re shown that in series-canon, too, with Sauerbruch and Jung grinning at his self-adulation.) His hostility with the Dohnanyis / Bonhoeffers? Wouldn’t be there; he’d be fighting for their cause. His psychological torture and persecution of Martin and Otto? Why would he hunt down homosexuals if he had internalized that all human life has value and Nazi ideology is wrong?

There would be nothing left of his character. What point is there in shipping Anni with de Crinis when the latter isn’t de Crinis anymore? Just make a new character then? 

Third, his points of redemption potential? ...there are none. His favorism of Anni? Based on her being a good little sheep who looks up at him with her wide, Aryan eyes and admires him. His soft spot for kids, shown in his disgust with Magda Goebbels’ planned murder of her children? He’s appalled that the virtuous paragon of the Nazi model family is shredding yet another bit of his pretty, pretty worldview; that’s all. He doesn’t give a shit about children. He doesn’t try to stop her or talk her out if it. He tells her where she can get poison to go through with it. When Anni mentions that “Karin has been evacuated”, he doesn’t even blink. And he knows what “evacuating” means for a disabled child. He doesn’t care. He has the point of view of Nurse Käthe, of Prof. Bessau: That child’s no good; make new ones. His taking flight, knowing that he has committed crimes he will be prosecuted for? Yeah - but he doesn’t seem to suffer from it. When Anni acknowledges herself as guilty, she breaks down and lashes out, realizing what she might have been and was capable of. De Crinis? Takes flight. He’s not a bit shaken, not a bit surprised by what he has been up to. He has always known that what he participated in is wrong; he just didn’t care so long as there were no consequences for him personally. The one and only thing that made de Crinis watch-worthy in the series is that Lukas Miko is a damn fine actor who gives one hell of a chilling performance. That doesn’t make his character any less of a piece of shit, nor does it diminish my urge to go take a shower after the de Crinis scenes. I wouldn’t mind watching Miko play a de Crinis anthithesis, but that definitely wouldn’t be de Crinis.

To make this ship work, there are exactly two possibilities: Give up all of de Crinis’ character - or roll with him being the evil bastard that he is and that we are shown he is, and give up all of Anni’s character. That’s it. Just... don’t act like there’s canonically anything good about de Crinis.

Same goes for the Anni/Christel ship, btw. “Everything is the same, but Christel is not in love with Otto but with Anni”. That... means nothing is the same. It means everything changes thoroughly. Christel was always the only real threat for Otto and Martin - if she isn’t, there’s not much for them to fear in their own ranks. They’re careful; they wouldn’t have been found out without a denunciation. Means, they don’t get arrested, Otto doesn’t have to save Martin, Otto goes out to war, Otto dies before the war is over because those last months of battling were desperate and ugly (even more so than the earlier, I mean). So, we’d get a new gay at the cost of killing another? Eh. A Nazi accepting homosexuality, coming to terms with herself as an adversary of her own creeds and abandoning Nazi ideology to Do The Right Thing is not “missing dramatic content”, either. It’s Anni’s arc. And it’s a character arc that Christel, with the way she’s written, with “too much compassion is a sign of weakness”, is not capable of.

The scenario doesn’t only include Christel accepting herself as a lesbian; it also includes her helping Anni with Karin. Which brings us back to the same problem as with de Crinis: She’d have to abandon everything she’s convinced of. Accept the value of all human life. And I think her definition of a “worthy life” is even narrower than that of de Crinis; that’s why he recruits her in the first place: Because Christel is a very passionate Nazi. Much more so than de Crinis. She has a backbone, he’s an opportunistic chickenshit. He takes flight. She fights. To the very last second, she clings to her idea of the Nazi realm. When she breaks down, it isn’t for realizing that what she believes in is wrong; it is because what she believes in is lost. That’s one of the things that make me be more shaken with her than with de Crinis, even more in awe of Frida-Lovisa Hamann than of Lukas Miko: Christel never knows that she’s in the wrong. Like Anni, she’s young enough to have been raised unaware, and different than Anni, she very decidedly declines the chance to break out of this. If she’d been brought to court for her deeds, she wouldn’t have been able to defend herself, and she wouldn’t have denied anything, because in her worldview, she never did anything wrong. Realizing that would be, again, an extremely painful process and, again, it wouldn’t leave anything of her character. Why would she go on a date with Otto and propose to him? Why would she tattle on little Emil? On Hans von Dohnanyi? On Martin? Why would she be in conflict with the Sauerbruchs? Why would she lead Volkssturm kids into the hospital if she wants to protect Anni? Why are there any conflicts at all instead of all of the Charité staff being morally upright and good and a united front against the Nazis?

They aren’t. There’s a story being told, and if they’d change out these chilling, well-written antagonists for lukewarm knock-off protagonists, they’d have to make up new antagonists to make any of the story work. It’s a historical series, dealing with living amidst Nazis; inside this framework, the characters won’t function as theirselves if their core values are flipped.

Conclusion? There’s only one legit ship in there, and it’s de Crinis/Christel. I can totally see that; it’d leave both their characters intact. He could rush back to tragically die by her side - BAM, there you’ve got your Nazi-apologetic drama. Or make it Magda Goebbels/Christel, if one wants to go for psycho lesbians. Personally, I don’t care much for finding a happy end for obvious Nazis that were written as Nazis and have absolutely nothing that would turn them away from being Nazis. And I don’t see Anni being either’s romantic partner. Why on earth would she want to? Isn’t Artur punishment enough?

[entities-of-posts]

*A letter has been left at the Archivist’s door. It is neatly addressed to the Archivist in what looks like a fountain pen. The semder is a person named Prof. Cecil Frederick* Hello Archivist. A friend of mine told me that you would be able to assist me. Recently I have had several strange happenings occur in my life and and needless to say they disturbed me greatly. They started last week. I had just finished grading papers at my office when there was a knock at my door. It was one of my students. His name was Peter. He was holding package. He handed it over and said it was for me and that I should open it immediately. Then he left. I opened it. At the time I didn't notice how strangely he was acting. I didn't see the blank look on his face, or the slight robotic movements. I didn't know that Peter Cummings had been reported missing by his roommate the day before. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. There were two things in the box, a note and a book. The note read:

"That you may come to Know yourself better."

Signed,

        The Antiquarian

I had and still have no idea who the Antiquarian is or why they would send me a book, but I don't think it was random for some reason. Of course I could be giving myself too much credit in thinking that someone would go to such drastic measures to target me, but I also can't bring myself to think that it could have been anyone else. The book was titled "The Life and Times of Cecil Frederick" and if I'm being completely honest I don't know why that in itself didn't terrify me to my very core. I am not a brave man Archivist and normally something like this would have me running to the police, but somehow I was able to remain completely calm. When I opened the book there appeared to have been an inscription on the cover at some point, but it had either been removed or faded away by the time I received it. The contents of the book were...fascinating, but in a horrifyingly familiar way. It was my life. My entire life. Every single moment of my existence was printed and categorised neatly on those pages right up until it came to the present. When it described the moments leading up to and including when I opened the book, I felt a chill go through me. It stopped when I caught up with the present, but I knew that the second I closed it there would be new text that told what I did next. The past was one thing. It was an interesting and beautiful thing to have a tool that told of your past. But the present? I went home in a bit of a frenzy. I am rather ashamed to admit that I allowed myself to become quite paranoid in the days that followed and it is possible that that paranoia was merited, for not three days later I received another package. This time there was no note, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was the same person. This time it was...well, an eye. Not a real eye, mind you, it was made of glass, but it certainly looked real enough. It moved too. I could feel it following me when my back was turned. I can still feel it following me. Nowhere feels safe anymore. I was hoping you might at least be able to offer some advice on what I should do if nothing else.

       Sincerely,

                   Cecil Frederick

👁👁

I am afraid you have come to quite the wrong place for that :)

👁👁