#at least more than mal x alina

[mestiza003]

darklina > malina

[kasagia]

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 3❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: You distance yourself from your general. You have a cold war between you. Well... a real cold war in some ways, in which he tries to save you despite his greatest fear... Warning(s): the reader falls into a frozen river, a bit of angst, read at your own risk Word Count: 3,5 k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @budugu ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 4 ~•♤♤♤•~

You were better now. Your fever passed, and you were able to return to your tent. Which you did very reluctantly.

Although you didn't remember much of that first night when he took care of you.

Half of the first day was a blur for you. You didn't remember how you moved from the floor to his bed, with his arms around you as you slept peacefully, hugging into him, but you didn't complain. There was a contractual silence between you about the few days he spent taking care of you.

Afterwards, everything between you two returned to relative normality. You spent your last days in camp searching for the stag, responding to reports and letters from the capital, and preparing for your return.

You already had several plans that you wanted to put into action when you returned to the Little Palace, and you couldn't wait to do it all for Aleksander... especially now, when he had on his mind not only the search for Morozva's stag and the destruction of the fold, but also the king's illness and a possible war with Fjerdans.

Day by day, Ravka was becoming less stable, and he was the only one able to bear the burden of responsibility for this country... you wanted to make it a little easier for him. Especially since you were tormented by the sight of the dark circles under his eyes every day. So you were overseeing chasing after stag... well, you did until a snowstorm came and you had to back off to the capital.

But after talking to Alina that morning, your plans changed drastically.

"He sent Mal away? Well, he must have had a good reason. Anyway, why are you coming to me with this instead of going to him?" you ask, packing your backpack. Alina stands next to your folded tent and nervously plays with the sleeve of her coat.

"I did. He told me to stop worrying about the tracker and focus on my training. Please, you are his second-in-command; you must be able to do something. I... I just wanted to have my friend with me... at least on Christmas."

You sigh, running your hand through your hair. You liked the girl. She wasn't as arrogant as some Grishas, and she knew how to care for others. However, you saw well that, despite the privileges and admiration she received... she was not entirely able to find herself in her new role. Maybe with a tracker by her side, it would be easier for her to process who she is now—a new role assigned to her by the world.

"I'll talk to him. But I don't promise anything. If he insists, nothing will change his mind. He is sometimes more stubborn than a donkey."

Alina gives you a sad smile and nods. She whispers some thanks and walks away, clearly depressed and lost in thought. You frown as you tie your backpack to your horse's saddle.

You go to the general's tent, wondering how to start a conversation with him about the tracker. Inside, you find him talking to Ivan while he was packing to leave. He beckons to you, allowing you to approach them.

"Some of our men have already left. They took the tracker with them, just as you ordered, sir. They won't be back until they manage to find the stag. We should be able to locate it by the end of this year, General."

You look at Ivan in shock. The general always allowed his men to return to their families for the holidays. Only during the greatest crisis did he leave his people in the Little Palace or send them on very important missions. You doubted that finding the stag was that urgent... especially since a snowstorm was about to hit.

"Great. With any luck, he won't distract our Sun Summoner anymore, and the stag will finally fall into our traps. Thank you, Ivan."

Ivan nods and walks away, leaving you two alone. You stared blankly at the report he was holding for a moment. He couldn't have meant it, right? He wouldn't send his men on a dangerous mission for no good reason, certainly not for some stag...

"I don't think it's necessary to send a group of our men hunting the stag now. Especially if a snowstorm is about to hit. They should come back with us, or at least to the nearest town or village. The stag won't get far. Not in this weather."

"I didn't ask for your opinion or conjectures." he replies coldly, not looking at you. You feel like something punched you in the stomach. But you keep your tone of voice equally cold and control your facial expression to stay neutral.

"You asked for me." you see him frown in surprise at your emotionless tone, which he taught you himself. However, you see how his confusion quickly turns into indifference when he holds out a report to you.

"Another transport through the fold was unsuccessful. We lost our entire crew—many good men. Alina's training must be completed as quickly as possible, as must our stag haunting. This is in the best interest of Ravka and all of us. We don't have time for any delays or protests from hysterical orphans."

And so you had your answer. His actions and everything he did revolved around two things. Grishas and the fold. Now... a certain Sun Summoner has joined his list of priorities. His equal. The light of his darkness.

"I understand, general." you say, handing him the report back. "I'll make sure a replacement crew is sent to Kribirsk."

"What is it?" he asks you, surprised at your stoic and distant behavior. You frown, feigning confusion.

"I don't know what you are talking about, sir."

"Y/N..." he interrupts you and walks over to you, leaving the papers he was packing in his chest. He watches you closely, looking for any clue as to why you were acting the way… everyone else did towards him.

"If that's all, I have to go back to my duties."

He stands frozen for a moment, unable to understand why your behaviour changed so suddenly. You don't blame him. It's just a defensive reaction from your stupid heart. You'd rather distance yourself from him than see him so... preoccupied with another woman. A woman who was on his pedestal and who gained his trust and sympathy faster than you or anyone else. Compared to her, you were… nothing in his eyes. It's high time you understood this.

You take his silence as consent for you to leave. You nod at him and turn on your heel to leave his tent. But suddenly, he grabs your wrist tightly.

You sigh, feeling his heart beating faster thanks to the contact of his skin against yours, as he is amplifying your powers. You don't know if he notices that he's using his abilities on you, and if he does, that's the last thing he cares about.

"Y/N. Stop it." his whisper and heartbeat are all you can hear in the darkness of his tent.

"What do you mean, sir?" you ask, somehow keeping your voice from shaking.

You won't allow yourself to be anyone's pushover. Even for the man who unknowingly held your heart in his grasp. If he... cared about her more and wanted her more than anyone... you wouldn't be standing in the way of epic love.

"This. You hadn't called me like that for months."

"My apologises, sir." you say, turning to face him. His dark eyes search yours intently, trying to break through the defensive wall you've put up around yourself. You could never be someone as important to him as Alina was. You would never be at the top of his list in the first place. And once you experienced this momentary treatment from him... you didn't want to settle for anything less. You simply could not. "I won't forget my place anymore, general. Or who you are."

The tension in the room becomes more and more obvious between the two of you. He takes a step towards you. The warmth radiating from him and the familiar scent envelope you and melt your resolute attitude, but only for a moment, because you knew well what you had to do.

"And who am I to you?"

It wasn't an easy question. Certainly not ones for which there is only one answer. And maybe if he had asked it earlier, if he had looked at you with those disarming eyes a few minutes earlier and used that vulnerable tone of his voice a day ago, then you would have told him the truth. You would say how your heart missed him every damn day and how you longed to be worthy of standing by his side. But not now. Not now, when you knew you were doomed to be his second-in-command and nothing more.

"My supervisor. General of the Second Army." you lie smoothly to the most important man in your life.

To the one who saw something more in you. To the one for whom you would give your life without blinking an eye. To the one you gave your feelings to so willingly and quickly, making the whole situation more complicated.

But it wasn't your story or even your man.

That's why you step aside. If not for your own good, then for his. He deserved something better.

"Very well, colonel. That's all." you try your best not to show how hurt you are or how your title sounded filthy and offensive on his lips compared to the tender way he used to say your name.

As you leave, you hang the scarf and gloves he gave you on the nearest chair. If he wanted to treat you like any of his Grishas, then there was nothing wrong with making it even easier for him (or your heart, as you were trying to be mad at him).

After all, it was better to leave sooner rather than get hurt later…

And you didn't need him... did you?

The road to Os Alta is long. Much longer than before. You hang back with Fedyor most of the time. You only talk to Alexander from time to time. Always about the issues of the Second Army or things involving it and nothing else. Your relationship has returned to its cold and distrustful beginnings.

It's better this way.

At least that's what you try to tell yourself every time you see him talking to Alina. But when you see him laughing at some of her jokes, you lose control. A dead bird falls somewhere a few metres away from you and Fedyor.

"Y/N…control yourself. Besides, I warned you." you roll your eyes at him and huff angrily, looking away from the two extraordinary summoners.

"I do not know what you're talking about. Besides, they fit together. And how are things with Ivan?"

"Low blow." he mutters under his breath, obviously irritated by your stubbornness.

"You asked for it."

"Can't you see he misses you? Really?" he asks incredulously, and you just shrug. You adjust your red coat and wrap it more around you. It was getting colder.

"Impossible, we were talking about transporting food and weapons across the fold just an hour ago."

"Yes, and since then, when you brushed him off so coolly and professionally, he's been giving you furtive looks like a beaten puppy."

"Alina will be able to soothe his wounds. You see how she heals his heart that I've battered." you snort mockingly, shifting in the saddle.

"Alina is just trying to convince him to let Mal and the others return to the palace."

"Very good. He does have a soft side to her after all."

"Sometimes I want to punch you in the head for being stubborn, blind to feelings, afraid of being attached to and vulnerable to someone, and not believing in your own worth."

"Fedyor... control yourself." you mimic his tone mockingly.

You don't hear his response. Your attention is drawn to the frozen river in front of you. You fondly remember how you and your siblings used to skate on such rivers and lakes.

And then you see a girl in the middle of the river. In skates, crying, and calling for someone. On the other bank, you see a group of children running away into the forest. The girl tries to move, but suddenly freezes and looks down at the ice.

Fedyor notices you looking at something in the distance. He freezes at what you two see. Out of the corner of your eye, you see realisation dawn on his face as he notices the plan forming in your eyes.

"Y/N... no." he shakes his head, but it's too late. You lead your horse towards the river, separating yourself from the group. Behind you, you hear Fedyor speeding up his horse to get to the general's side.

"Y/N!" the general's scream echoes through the area. You tremble, but you only accelerate your horse, trying to get to the shore as quickly as possible. "Y/N!"

You hear his horse pounding, and the surroundings grow darker with his shadows as he tries to hold you back. But you're too close, and you are not going to stop or let anyone stop you.

"Y/N!"

You're not listening to him. You are only focused on one thing. You jump off your horse and run towards the river. Along the way, you pick up a long stick before stepping onto the ice.

"Y/N, come back here!" he growls after you, knowing full well that if he tried to use the shadows, he might break the ice beneath you.

You ignore him, not even turning your head towards him as you slowly walk towards the child who is trembling, trying her hardest not to break any more ice beneath her. You feel everyone's eyes burning at you, but all you can do is keep going. Slowly. Step by step, listen carefully to every sound the ice beneath you might make.

You stop for a moment, hearing the ice crunch beneath you and struggling to keep your balance on the slippery ice, which is becoming quite fragile the deeper you go.

"Y/N, don't play a damn saint! Y/N!" he shouts at you from the shore. If you were less focused, you would wonder why he didn't follow you and didn't even set foot on the thick ice.

In any other situation, you would be terrified by the tone of his voice as he was shouting at you. In fact, you don't think you can remember him ever sounding so angry, so dreadful, and... so fearful himself at the same time. But now you had a more important mission to accomplish than listening to his voice coming from the shore. You would deal with his anger later... or at least you hoped so.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" you ask the girl once you're close enough. You use your powers to slow down the beating of her heart, which is racing with fear.

She tells you her name. She trembles, scared, as another scream from Kirigan comes from the shore, this time calling for Zoya or some tidemaker.

As the little girl trembles in fear, you see delicate, small circles of fire forming around her hands. Inferni. An inexperienced Inferni in the middle of a fucking, barely frozen river. Excellently.

"It's a lovely name. Don't worry, sweetheart, my friend is a little worried about me. He is just a drama queen. He worries about me more than my own mom. But everything will be fine, right?" you somehow manage to make her chuckle briefly.

"You are Grisha. My brother too. They took him to the palace. I'd like to see him…" you smile at her fondly. You sigh in relief as you see her calm down, the glow of the fire disappearing from her hands.

"I'm sure he's in good hands. And I guess you'll see each other soon. First, let's get you out of here, shall we?" you say, extending a branch towards her to catch it.

She screams as suddenly the ice beneath her breaks with a crack. At the last moment, she grabs a branch, and you pull her towards you and then push her far behind you. You hold your breath as you see the ice beneath you crack dangerously.

"Y/N!"

You ignore him, trying not to look his way. You don't know why. Whether it was to not show him that you were afraid or because you didn't want to have the last memory of him being like this... in a situation like this.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see more and more Grishas gathering at the shore. You see the blue kefta of a tidemaker in the distance.

"Can I help you somehow?" a child's question snaps you out of your mind. You shake your head, smiling at her, to reassure her as much as possible.

"I'll be fine. Just go that way. The ice is the thickest there; with your weight, it shouldn't even creak under you."

The girl nods. You see her taking slow steps and walking towards the shore, where there were other Grishas.

You close your eyes. You calm your breathing and try to shift your body weight. Your slightest movement causes the ice to break slightly beneath you again.

"Y/N! DON'T DARE!"

The ice crumbles more and more beneath you, and you can't help but let out a scream as, despite your attempts to get onto firmer ice, you fall into the chilly, rushing river beneath you. You take a deep breath, knowing full well that any supply of oxygen will soon be worth its weight in gold for you.

Before the cold water envelopes you, you hear his scream echoing on the surface, muffled by the ice.

You feel calm. Despite the situation you are in. The cool water around you makes you feel strange. You don't feel anything. You don't hear anything. You don't think about anything. You are drifting, carried along by the current of water, and you are completely unaware of anything around you.

You have risked your life many times. You have found yourself in difficult situations many times. Other soldiers told how their lives flashed before their eyes as they believed they were seconds away from death. How the moments with their beloveds played in their minds as the only memory they wanted to take to their grave.

But you didn't feel anything.

There was only darkness before your eyes. Shadows. His shadows. Then came the hands, with which he summoned them. Then his muscular, but not excessively so as many men have, figure, his beard, and his face. And eyes. Somehow, all you could think about were his eyes. The disappointed look you got from him a few hours ago. And as the cool water hit your lungs, you couldn't help but think—maybe it was better this way?

But you are not allowed to think any longer.

You feel something strong grab your clothes and pull you out of the water. Subconsciously, you fight against the tight grip on you, choking and coughing. Hands press against your chest. Then something soft and warm is placed on your lips. You feel the air trying to get into your lungs through the water in them. You are turned on your side as you spit and cough out water and some thick liquid.

You register someone's loud, dry, sharp screams, orders being thrown in every direction, and the tramp of feet around you. You hear threats being whispered in your direction, your name screaming several times as you are shaken by the shoulders.

As you take wheezing, painful breaths, your clothes are removed. You shiver with cold, trying to push away the hands on you, but suddenly something holds them in a foreboding grip. You're sure you're shaking like jelly at the Winter Fiesta in the Palace when you're stripped of everything but your underwear. You feel like a doll as you are changed by someone into soft, dry clothes that are much more comfortable than the outfit you had before.

Another layer of clothes is placed on you, and along with the strangely familiar scent, you feel something soft tickle your cheeks. You bury your face in the fur. If you could open your eyes, you would see that it was black, like most of your new clothes. A rough hand wanders under your clothes and pulls your wet underwear off, ripping them and taking them off of you, so now you are wearing completely dry clothes.

You hear the sound of the river much clearer than before. And a few heartbeats. One, especially louder and closer to you than any other. Suddenly, you realise that you are floating above the ground, pressed against something very warm. You snuggle into your new source of warmth, pressing completely against it. The heartbeat speeds up, and you are held tighter and stronger. And before you drift off into the darkness, you hear a soft, warm whisper:

"Stay with me, Y/N. Just stay with me."

You cannot. You allow the darkness to surround you, greeting it with relief as the raging thoughts, deafening sounds, screams, footsteps, and horses around you and other stimuli disappear.

You were just so cold…

[syllvane]

a dwindling, mercurial high- nikolai lantsov x reader

“You could’ve left, with Tolya and Tamar, y’know.” Nikolai said, his words slurring ever so slightly and you looked at him amused.

You couldn’t remember the last time that you had been sober enough to remember him getting plastered.

“I know I could have, silly.”

He smiled at you and you forced yourself to look away from him, looking for anything or anyone out of place.

“Then why did you stay?”

“Someone has to keep you from getting killed.” You said, only half-joking.

It wasn’t a large celebration, only close friends and family of the soon to be monarchs invited to gathering.

Alina was on the other side of the room, nursing a glass of kvas and talking with Zoya and Genya. 

Tolya and Tamar had told Nikolai that they wouldn’t be able to attend, some business with stopping slaver ship. Mal had given no word to Alina.

Hence, the kvas.

“You have so much confidence in me.”

“More confidence than I have in most people.” You replied quickly, taking an opportunity to look at him.

His golden cheeks were flushed red with alcohol and his eyes were focused on you, looking at you like he should’ve been looking at his fiancée.

“You should go socialize with Alina and the others. People might get the wrong impression if you’re talking to the Captain of your guard all night.”

“And what impression would that be?”

That you love me. That I love you. That the most selfish parts of me want you to pick me over the entirety of Ravka.

“I don’t know, that there might be an emergency or something- Nikolai.”

He stood up and cleared his throat loudly, commanding all of the attention in the room.

“My fellow countrymen, I just want all of you to rest assured that there is no emergency going on. My good friend and head of guard thought that us having a conversation might give that impression, so calm your nerves and enjoy the drinks.”

Several chuckles went around the room and conversations slowly resumed as he sat back down, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Are you happy now?” You asked and he looked at you, a smug smile on his face.

“Very. Are you done trying to convince me to talk to other people?”

“Odd way to describe your fiancée, ‘other people’.” You retorted. 

“You could just call her Alina.”

“Or moya tsaritsa.”

He took another sip of his drink, shaking his head.

“I don’t get it, you liked Alina when you first met her, on the Volkvolny.”

You wished more than anything that Tolya and Tamar were here, or that you could at least drink.

“I do like her. You're the one who hasn’t spoken to her all night.”

“And would you rather that I go over to her and play the part of the adoring husband? That I hold her closely and whisper in her ear?” He taunted and you scoffed, looking anywhere but him. He grabbed your hand. “I’d rather be here as well.”

You looked at your intertwined hands, unable to focus on much beyond how his skin felt on yours, suddenly glad that Tolya and Tamar weren’t here, painfully aware of how fast your heart was beating.

He let go of your hand, standing up again.

“Well, friends, I think I’ve had enough revelry for tonight- please, continue to indulge yourself. As difficult as it might be, the party must go on.” He said, winking at his guests, all of whom smiled at him kindly.

He turned towards the door and started walking.

You signaled the other guards of Nikolai’s to move, glancing over the room once more to see Alina looking at you.

She smiled at you warmly and you did your best to return it, still thinking about how his skin felt on yours.

You turned around, following Nikolai out and when you and the other guards on duty arrived to his chambers, Nikolai motioned for you to follow him inside.

The doors closed.

“You’re the one that I love, you know.” He said, pouring himself another drink. You watched the liquid slosh into the glass cup, watched as he took a sip. “If that’s what marriage was about, it would be you I would marry.”

You stayed completely still.

“Nik-”

“I love you. I love you, and I’m sorry that it took so long for me to say it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” You asked miserably, and he looked at you, taking a step closer.

“Why did you stay?” He asked softly and you shook your head. “Please. It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask of you.”

You closed your eyes- you didn’t know when tears started streaming down your face.

“Because I love you.” You said as if it was the worst thing in the entire world. “I love you and as much as I hate everything about this, you’re still in my life. And I will take whatever life I can get with you.”

You opened your eyes and he looked at you sorrowfully, his hand hovering over your cheek as if to caress it, to wipe the tears away, before it dropped back to his side.

He closed his eyes and took a step away from you.

“I’m sorry.” He said, his voice barely a whisper. “I should get to sleep.”

You nodded professionally, as if tears weren’t actively streaming down your face, taking a step away from him and turning.

“Right, moy tsar. You have a big day coming up, you need all the rest you can get.” He flinched at the title- not that you noticed, facing away from him. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” He said hoarsely.

[euphoniumpets]

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM | CHAPTER ONE

Prompt: ''As long as I can rememer, I've been protecting Alina, it's always Alina who I will protect,'' You told him, looking at Nikolai. ''But who will protect you?''

Warnings: violence.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. 

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! Reader

Tag list: @lyria-skyfall @khaleesihavilliard @shine101 @waddlingwanderer @clqudias @ducks118

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - epilogue

A/N: you know the drill. chapters will be published once in a week, same goes for no mourners and no funerals.

You felt like you were drowning.

Then, like in a flashback, you saw Alina's face. It took you long enough to realize you were back in the Fold, where it all started from the beginning. 

You heard a voice appear in your mind, and you couldn't recognize who. Was it Alina? Was it Mal? ''Y/N..'' The voice spoke, and before you knew it, the visions of the white stag flashed through your mind before it shifted to the sea whip and then back to Mal.

You frowned. Why were the visions showing you, Mal? ''Y/N..'' You heard the voice again. 

''Y/N!''

With a startling wake, you opened your eyes, bracing yourself on either of your hands as you blinked rapidly. Your breath comes in short, raspy, and gasps, and you feel like you can't breathe, and everything's just a blur. All you know that you know is that you're scared: more than just scared; terrified, every muscle in your body is tense with terror, but it slowly began to calm itself when you realize where you were.

Of course. You were back at the ship where the three of you had left off. You turned around as you were met with concerning looks from Mal and Alina. ''I'm fine,'' You responded, trying to brush it off, not wanting to worry more about you.

It has always been like that. You knew that you could take care of yourself and the only thing on your mind was to protect Alina and Mal. Sometimes, you would forget to take care of yourself.

''Another nightmare?'' Mal questioned. He recognized the familiar look on your face. You nodded slightly. It has always been like that when you were children. You would dream nightmares, at least that is what you would tell yourself. That they were nightmares. Only a dream.

But something deep inside of you knew the truth that they weren't dreams, they were something that you couldn't describe. ''Don't worry, all we have to worry is about finding the other amplifiers,'' You told them with a smile. However, Alina and Mal knew you, they could read you like a book since the smile didn't reach your eyes.

''And then take down the Fold,'' Mal added a comforting smile. ‘’I wouldn’t be so sure about that,’’ Alina spoke with a frown on her face. The two of you turned to look at her with concern on your faces.

‘’What do you mean?’’ You questioned. ‘’It’s about the nightmares?’’ You questioned her. ‘’Is it the same one you showed us before?’’ Mal asked and grabbed the notebook, flipping through the pages as you saw a village and the Fold growing. ‘’Worse,’’ Alina answered. ‘’Tell me again,’’ Alina spoke and looked at you and Mal. Mal and you shared a look. ‘’Kirigan is dead,’’ You told her. 

‘’I saw the Volcra take him, no one survived,’’ Mal added and looked at her. ‘’I keep seeing the Fold growing, sometimes a little, sometimes in a surge, I don’t know what it means,’’ Alina murmured and looked down. ‘’Let’s think about what’s next,’’ Mal replied and grabbed her hand in comfort. 

‘’Approaching Weddle Harbor!’’ You heard one of the men exclaim loudly at the ship. 

‘’This is the first time we’ve ever left Ravka,’’ Mal said, looking out at the sea. ‘’You both haven’t had a good meal or good sleep in about two weeks, and we’re going to change that soon,’’ Mal told you as you smiled at him. Alina walked over to Mal, and the two of them watched the city as the boat was getting closer to the docks. You smiled, looking at the pair in front of you.

You sometimes wondered what it felt like. To have someone to care about you and wondered if you would ever find love like the one kind that Mal and Alina had. 

-

The three of you walked through the checkpoint with the false identity that Kaz had made for you. You just hoped that he made a good enough so they would let you inside of the country. ‘’So, we go by my plan,’’ Alina spoke with a low voice. ‘’We find the Sea Whip, that’s why we’re here, one amplifier might not be enough, so, I’ll get two,’’ Alina said and you looked at her as you three kept walking in the line. 

‘’Alina,’’ You murmured. ‘’We don’t know the risks if we try this,’’ You told her and looked at her with a concerned expression. ‘’She’s right, no Grisha has ever done it before, not even a Saint,’’ Mal replied next to her. ‘’No one’s ever torn down the Fold before either,’’ Alina remarked, as you gave her a look. ‘’You’ve got a point, cheers to our first attempts,’’ You commented and shrugged your shoulders. Mal rolled his eyes as he turned to face Alina and you. 

‘’I know you can do it someday, you will get there, I just-’’ Mal trailed off. ‘’Don’t want to see it kill you in the process, okay?’’ Mal filled in and looked at her and began to walk closer. You rolled your eyes toward them. Sometimes it was a struggle to be the third wheeling between your sister and your best friend. ‘’Hot stones?’’ Alina questioned. 

‘’Alright, let’s go love birds, whatever this is, it’s beginning to suffocate me,’’ You commented as Alina chuckled. ‘’Don’t worry sis, you will find someone one day,’’ Alina replied with a teasing smile. ‘’Over my dead body,’’ You remarked, giving her a look before you heard a woman saying: ‘’Ravkan Refugees, this line please,’’ 

You frowned. Refugees? You, Mal, and Alina shared a concerned look. ‘’Wait here,’’ You told them, giving Alina a stern look. ‘’Y/N-’’ Alina began to protest but you were already making your way to a woman in the line. ‘’Excuse me, what happened? The war?’’ You asked her. 

‘’The Fold, it moved overnight,’’ She replied as you recognized a solemn look on her face. 

‘’Swallowed half our village,’’ She responded as a growing pit formed in your stomach. ‘’It keeps growing,’’ The woman said before she walked away. You stood there, frozen, and realized the nightmares that Alina had was coming true. You turned around and looked at Mal and Alina and wondered, what if your nightmares were about to go real too? ‘’They’re not nightmares, Allie,’’ You told her, the nickname that you used to call her when you were children as fear began to slowly creep into your body. 

‘’It’s really happening,’’ The line began to move again. ‘’So, we find the Sea Whip, you two check the library, I’ll ask the fishermen when they return from their haul,’’ Mal told you. 

‘’Next,’’ You heard as you two arrived at the checkpoint and gave your identities to the man in front of you. He looked at the papers. ‘’Where are you from?’’ He asked. 

‘’Ketterdam,’’ 

-

You sighed, flipping through the pages of the book you currently were holding as you looked for the clues for the Sea Whip. You thought it would be an easy task to do but then again, all the stories you had read about it were nothing more than a myth. 

But then again, people thought the sun summoner was a myth. ‘’I have found nothing for the last couple of hours, nothing,’’ You remarked as you approached Alina by the table as she was surrounded by the maps and books. ‘’We will find it, you need to have patience,’’ Alina chuckled towards your eagerness. 

‘’I know, but we don’t have much time,’’ You responded with a sigh as a dark-skinned woman approached you with a kind smile. ‘’Have you found the maps you needed?’’ She asked and looked at Alina. ‘’Do you have any, uhm, nautical maps that are older?’’ Alina asked. ‘’Back as far as you can,’’

The woman nodded as the two of you followed after her through the library. You looked at the woman as she opened the cabinet with her Grisha powers. You looked at her with a surprised expression. ‘’You’re a Durast?’’ You asked her with wide eyes. 

‘’Oh,’’ She spoke and looked at the two of you. ‘’Zemeni does not use such narrow terms,’’ She replied as you looked at her with a sheepish smile. ‘’Sorry,’’ You apologized. ‘’It’s fine, my dear,’’ She chuckled and looked at you kindly. 

‘’We’re all Zowa, blessed,’’ She explained. ‘’Oh, that’s lovely,’’ Alina remarked. ‘’Being Grisha is a wonderful thing, a beautiful thing, but we’re lucky to be safe here in Novyi Zem,’’ She told you. ‘’I feel for the Ravkan Grisha, may their Saints watch over them,’’ She commented before walking away. 

You and Alina gave each other looks before she walked over to the cabinet and grabbed one of the maps. ‘’She was a living saint,’’ You heard one of the people murmur next to you. ‘’And the reason I lost my Katina,’’ You turned to look at Alina and you knew that she heard what they said. 

‘’Don’t listen to them, they don’t know the truth,’’ you told her as she sighed. ‘’If only they knew,’’ Alina muttered. ‘’But they will know soon enough, as soon we find the amplifiers, the world is going to know your name,’’ You assured her with a smile and she gave you a look. 

‘’Sankta Alina,’’ You teased her, making her chuckle and shake her head. You saw something and grabbed the newspaper where you saw Kirigian and Alina. Alina and you looked at each other worriedly before you two decided to pack your things and leave before something escalated and people knew that the sun summoner was there. 

Without you looking where you were going, you accidentally bumped into a woman as the newspaper fell on the floor. ‘’Oh,’’ You exclaimed. ‘’Here let me help you,’’ The woman replied and before she looked up, she looked at Alina next to you. 

‘’It’s the sun summoner!’’ She shouted and before you knew it, the two of you ran out of the library.

-

let me know what you thought! reblogging always helps and the tag list are still open! please, check your settings because, the people that are in italics are the ones i cannot tag!

[heliads]

Oh! maybe an alina starkov x fem!reader?? it doesn't have to be a big deal, just one where alina and reader enjoy an afternoon together after the end of ruin and rising, thinking about when they came to be together and how much it was all worth it. maybe reader is a healer so she can take care better of the orphanage kids

anything for my favorite saint

masterlist

When you close your eyes, you can still see the ghosts. Hear them, too. They scream more than they speak. Most of the friends you’ve ever had ended up dead before they really got a chance to live. Is that their fault for not trying hard enough to make it through the war, or is it your fault for surviving when they didn’t?

They’ll be gone when you wake up. You’re vaguely aware of this, but not enough to force yourself out of the nightmare now. After all, where else would you see all of the people you’ve lost? When you dream, you dream of how they died, but sometimes you see older memories too, back when everything was still a little bit alright and they could smile more than they didn’t.

The nightmare ends soon enough. Your eyes fly open, your heart beating fast in your chest as you look around. You force yourself to follow your normal nighttime routing before your panic grows uncontrollable. Look around you– familiar four walls, sturdy ceiling. This is not the Little Palace, this is not the duke’s orphanage at Keramzin. Not the old one, at least.

This is the place that has become your home once again. You are here because the war is over. Once the Darkling died and the Shadow Fold fell, Alina Starkov offered you a chance to rebuild, one place at a time. The orphanage was her first choice, and it was yours as well. She gave Mal Oretsev the same chance, but he hadn’t yet seen his fill of the world. You have no idea where he is now; Kerch, perhaps, or some other distant corner of Ravka or another nation, but he’s happy, at least, and you’ve long since learned that matters more than anything else.

The new orphanage is yours and Alina’s, then. That’s the way it was at the start. Alina showed up first, then you, then Mal. You left it first, though. Before the Grisha tester came around to Keramzin, before she saw something in you that she shouldn’t have, you had almost liked it there, as much as any orphan could love a cold hall that was never quite warm enough to be home.

All good things come to an end, though, even the times that are only half-good. Suddenly, you had gone from spending your days and nights attached to Alina by the hip to being completely separated from her. They took you away from Keramzin to learn the Grisha arts in Os Alta, and they say you did not stop weeping for the friend you lost for a month, at least.

Alina confessed to you later that she thought you would have forgotten her at the Little Palace. You were only at the orphanage at Keramzin for such a short time, and Os Alta had far more marvels than little girls in dark halls could ever offer you.

This, you have told her on several occasions, could not be further than the truth. You never lost sight of your best friend, not when they dressed you in Corporalnik red and trained you to be a Healer, not when the years flew by and people started thinking that you’d always been in Os Alta and never anywhere else.

You certainly didn’t forget her when she showed up years later, lost in rumors that she might be the Sun Saint come to save you all. You had flown into her arms the second you were able, and you saw it in her eyes even then, how the fear left her in a flash. Alina knew she would be safe so long as you were with her. No harm could come to either of you if you were together again.

This only ended up being half true. Harm and danger have gotten to know both of you quite well indeed, but you survived the war. Now, you’re back to the way it was again– Alina without her powers, you still with yours, and both of you returning to Keramzin to start the orphanage up again after the Darkling had razed it.

You had never intended to return. They told you that you were capable of amazing things, that you were destined for big crowds with shiny trappings. Miracles only come to the powerful, and a quiet afterlife isn’t encouraged in Os Alta. They had managed to persuade you that you were only so good as your gifts, and you believed them.

You believed them, then it destroyed you piece by piece, and the world took it upon itself to fix that. And so you find a girl, and you let her into your heart enough to convince you to leave your entire world behind. You learn what love is, you learn that love shouldn’t be dependent on what you can achieve as a Grisha but you, only you. You help her create an orphanage. You care for the children who wander your way. It is a life, and it is a good one. Sometimes, you think it’s better than you deserve. You let the girl assure you otherwise.

And now? Now, you’re happy. You watch the sun rise and fall over the hills, and you remember watching Alina summon the sunlight for the first time. It had been marvelous, and she had looked over her shoulder for you the second she did it. It was you and her, forever and always. Even when neither of you were Grisha. Even when you both were. Even now, when you are but she isn’t.

Alina says she doesn’t miss her powers, but you’ve seen the way she watches you when you’re healing kids in the medical wing. For someone who claims she’s perfectly happy to remain human, her eyes linger on how your hands flex and move whenever you use your Corporalnik abilities. At her sides, her fingers always twitch, as if remembering how to call forth a power that no longer answers to her.

You want to offer the use of your abilities, to see if you can heal her enough to potentially give her back the capacity of summoning sunlight again. You think she wants to ask too at times, but both of you are too afraid to imply that there is something broken in her that is fixed in you, and so the quiet ones stay silent for now, at least.

The ceiling over your head feels a little too low, too controlling, so you dress quickly, slipping out of your room under the dim light of dawn. Most of the kids won’t be awake for another few hours, so you won’t have to worry about disturbing them. They’re well behaved kids anyway. They know what it’s like to lose a home, so they’re not that inclined to mess up this one with a few bad choices.

You slip out the back door and into the stands of wild grass. Every time you walk into this meadow, you almost think it’s a dream. You saw it often enough whenever you closed your eyes back at the Little Palace that actually being able to return has never quite been able to seem like anything other than an impossibility.

It has changed since you were a child, obviously. Most of the grass burned away when the Darkling destroyed the orphanage, and it’s slow in coming back. The trees have been blighted, but they’re getting better. We are all getting better.

You take a few steps more then pause, cocking your head to the side as you register the sound of heartbeats emanating from the ground a few paces away. You follow the beating until you come to a stop in front of a young woman lying on her back in the grass. Her eyes are closed, but she still smiles when she says, “I knew you’d find me out here.”

You smile back and take a seat on the ground next to her. “It’s your favorite spot, Alina. Where else would I look?”

Alina cracks open her eyelids enough to glance up at you. “Consider me overly nostalgic, then. Can you blame me? It’s quiet out here.”

You chuckle softly. “I know. I remember it being louder, though. Maybe there were more birds or something.”

“Or maybe we weren’t out here at dawn. We slept in more often when we were small,” Alina retorts.

There’s a silent despair in those words. You could sleep more when you were little because you had far less to fear. The only people you had lost were your parents. Now you have buried far more than just two people, and your sleep suffers accordingly.

That time has passed, though. There will be no more conflict, not for either of you. Not if you have your way with it.

“Still,” you whisper, “it’s a nice place.”

Alina hums in agreement. “We used to come out here all the time, didn’t we? You and me and Mal.”

Obnoxiously, your mood sours at the mention of Mal. He was your friend too, but you always liked Alina more, and you always feared that she would in turn prefer his company. You certainly heard enough rumors of Alina’s boy back home when she first came to the Little Palace. You had assumed those rumors were false when she chose to live at the orphanage with you instead of him, but your insecurities always choose to argue that whenever you think of him.

You sigh. “Mal wasn’t the only one in that meadow, you know.”

Alina sits up on her elbows, tilting her head back so she can stare at the brightening sky. “I know. Sometimes it was just us.”

You keep your eyes focused on the grass in front of you. “To me, it was just us.”

“It was the same for me,” Alina replies. 

You risk a peek her way and realize that she’s smiling. It’s the same soft smile she always wears with you, the one that tells you that she’s finally let her guard down. She never quite had it with Mal, but she had it with you. Always with you. There’s a reason for that, you know. There’s a reason for that, if you care enough to look.

And when have you not cared enough about Alina? She was your sun to orbit ever since the very first day you arrived at Keramzin. You have needed her every day of your life, and now you have her now, you have her forever. If you do not use the time you have, it will be wasted, and you have lost enough years to blood and bone to frivolously use up any more.

“I love you,” you say suddenly.

Alina goes quiet. At last, she looks at you, and says, “I love you too. I always have.”

“I know,” you tell her, “I know.”

You do. You know everything about Alina. And, the reason you stayed with her, the reason you left the rest of the Grisha to come home with her, the knowledge that she loved you just as much as you loved her, even if neither of you had properly addressed it. There was no reason to say such an obvious truth, not then. Still, it’s nice to hear it now.

Alina reaches through the struggling grass to take your hand. She passes her thumb over your knuckles as if to say:  here are your hands, which have cost lives and given them back, which have fought in wars and won them, and I want them anyway. There is no part of you that Alina does not want, even the quiet voices and the dark, looming memories. All of it is beautiful to her. It could be naive, or it could just be the love of someone who has known you all your life and understands enough to want to keep you in hers.

You can hear the distant sounds of the children starting to wake, how the laughter and voices begin to trickle out of the windows and doors. The sun rises on a new day, a good day, and you breathe in the gentle heat of the morning. There is much to do, but that is not a bad thing. Not at all.

requested by @cassiecrown, i hope you enjoy!

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @gods-fools-heroes, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @story-scribbler, @eclliipsed, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy, @budugu, @aoi-targaryen

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter X - Red as a Ruby

Chapter Summary: You see Genya for the first time since she's tried to escape. It causes you to argue again with Aleksander, which leads to a surprising revelation. Kirigan has another one after he finally confronts Alina after the events in the Fold. What else? Oh, you find a lead on a cure for the Darkling.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky, Alina Starkov/Mal Oretsev

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Ivan, Fruzsi, Genya, Baghra, Vladim Gulav, Fedyor Kaminsky, Alina Starkov, Mal Oretsev

Word Count: 4144

A/N: This chapter contains some plot and dialogues from episodes four, five and six of season two. Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089794820/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089794836/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089794968/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798500/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

After changing into fresh clothes, you hurry to the workshop. You try not to think about what happened last night. Because while you're happy with what happened, the fact Aleksander didn't say he loves you is worrying you. You can't get it out of your mind.

You enter the workshop and immediately feel a ping in your heart. Not seeing David here pains you. Now it's just Vladim here, Baghra and-

Morozova's journal falls from your hands and hits the floor with a thud. You stare at Genya in a cage with shock. You walk slowly toward her. She's sitting on the floor, chained, so she has to raise her head to look you in the eyes. You barely manage not to gasp at her face. It's covered with scars. Black scars. Same as the ones on your back. But since there are no Volcras here…

'This is how he treats those that were loyal to him,' Baghra speaks up. 'Do you think he would treat you any different if you were in her place?'

Genya looks down. Ashamed. She's ashamed. Because she-

Your look hardens. The cages hiss. Baghra and Genya have to move away from them because they become hot to the touch. They look at you with surprise.

'Excuse me,' you say, turn on your heel and march away. A moment later you burst into Aleksander's room. Besides him Fruzsi, Ivan and a few others are here. They all look at you.

'Get out,' you say harshly. Grisha take one look at your face and hurry away. Kirigan raises his eyebrows at that.

'Is everyone more afraid of you than me now?' he asks and looks at a report in his hands.

'For some reason they believe I'm your second in command,' you explain. Aleksander smiles slightly.

'I'm glad I didn't have to spell it out for them,' he says. 'Now, what brings you here?'

'Genya,' you spat. Kirigan freezes. He sighs after a second.

'What about her?' he asks. You look at him with disbelief.

'What did you do to her?' you ask.

'I didn't do anything to her,' Aleksander denies. You grit your teeth. You have enough of his half-truths.

'Let me rephrase it,' you say. 'What did your nichevo'ya did on your order?'

'Stopped her from running away,' Aleksander answers. You scoff.

'You hurt her,' you say. 'And she- Why? Why, Aleksander?'

'She's a traitor and a useful lesson for others who might consider crossing me,' Kirigan answers, finally looking up at you. He stares at you calmly. You shake your head.

'She served you loyally since she was a child, endured years of abuse on your orders, and you reduce her… to an example?' you ask.

'What else was I supposed to do?' Kirigan asks, narrowing his eyes. 'Let her go?'

'Yes,' you answer after a minute. 'After everything she's done for you, you should have let her go.'

'So she could join our enemies and tell them our secrets?' General scoffs. 'I don't think so.'

'Then you shouldn't have hurt her like this at least! You can't lead by fear alone, Aleksander. You used to know that. You inspired other Grisha. Helped them. Cared for them. And now? I'm not surprised Genya and David wanted to leave. They didn't see the kind of man they used to admire. And what you did to Genya proves they were right.'

'Maybe this is who I'm really am. Did you think of that?'

'No, it's not. I know it's not. It's a part of you, yes. But the man we used to know is still inside you. Just buried. You have to bring him to the surface. For all our sakes. And you can start with releasing Genya. And Baghra. Let them go. Show everyone you're still that compassionate man.'

'And made them think I'm weak? I think not.'

He stares at you coldly. But his fists are clenched. He's as much angry as you are. You glare at each other for a moment.

'Then maybe I should do it,' you finally say and turn on your heel.

'[Y/N], don't you dare!' Aleksander says and rushes after you. He grabs your elbow… and suddenly nichevo springs between you two, forcing him to back away in fright. You both stare with shock at the creature that is growling at Kirigan and hovering over him.

It hits you after a minute. General created it to save you from Volcras. To keep you safe. And while he is their creator and they're bound to protect him… their primary objective is still to save you. Even from Kirigan himself.

For a moment you feel the power you've gained from it. You could do so much with nichevo'ya at your command. And judging by the terrified look Aleksander gives you, he's well aware of it as well. It causes you to let go of that thought. Of power.

'I'm going to free them and let them go,' you say quietly but sternly. 'End of discussion.'

You turn and march away. Nichevo disappears. Kirigan touches his chest, terrified about what it means.

You enter the workshop a few minutes later. Vladim is not here. Good, because you don't want to explain this to him. You simply march to the cages and open them with your powers. Two women stare at you in shock, which only becomes bigger after you release them from their bonds.

'He… he's letting us go?' Genya asks with disbelief. You look at her.

'I am,' you correct her and take a step back. 'Now go. Quickly.'

Baghra and Genya hesitantly leave their cages. Once out, the Tailor throws her arms around your neck and hugs you. You embrace her back.

'Come with us,' she whispers in your ear. 'Run away with us.'

'I can't,' you answer softly. You pull away.

'He will hurt you for this,' Genya says. You smile slightly.

'He can't,' you deny. Women frown at you. You motion at the door.

'Go,' you hurry them. The Tailor walks to the door. Baghra looks at you sadly.

'He doesn't deserve your loyalty,' she says.

'Maybe not,' you agree. 'But he's all I have. I have… no one.'

Baghra shakes her head at you. She squeezes your hand and follows Genya.

'Thank you,' the Tailor says at the door. You nod at her and you watch the two women disappear. You hug yourself and sigh. You can't help but wonder… have you just made a mistake?

*

You're working at the workshop. Only Vladim is here with you. He keeps sending you nervous glances. What you've done is already being discussed around the mansion. Yet no one dares to confront you about it.

At some point, Aleksander enters the room. He stares at you but you don't even look up from Morozova's journal. He puts his hands behind his back.

'Leave us,' he orders Vladim, his voice emotionless. The Alkemi wastes no time and hurries out of the room, not keen to be in the middle of it. But he joins others who are listening in outside the door.

Kirigan walks slowly toward you. You still ignore him. Even when he's right in front of you. It's funny. That's exactly how you met. He was standing in front of your table and you were ignoring him. Only then Fedyor was with him as well. You feel a ping of sadness. You have no idea where the Heartrender is. It is even more painful for Ivan, of course.

'When we first met, I had no idea you would be this important to me,' Aleksander, who's also been thinking about your first meeting, says. The words cause you to look up in surprise. You two just argued and he says that? He smiles slightly, satisfied to get your attention.

'Which is why I hate to be at odds with you,' he adds. You eye him warily. You sigh after a moment and look away.

'I hate it, too,' you agree. 'And I… I'd go into the fire for you. For the last weeks I've crossed the line of my morality. But what you did to Genya, who's been so loyal to you and tried to leave because she couldn't cross the line… that was too much for me.'

'I understand that,' Kirigan says, nodding. 'You've already done so many things against your beliefs. I appreciate that. And I'm sorry you have to do this. But… you were right about Genya. I shouldn't have done that to her. Not after all she's suffered for me.'

You look at him, baffled. You don't think he's ever admitted to be wrong. And with what!

'You've always been my peace,' Aleksander says, caressing your cheek. 'Every decision I make after talking about it with you is a right one. And now… I'm falling more and more into the darkness inside me. You're the one who's pulling me away, reminding me who I really am.'

He presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes. After a second of surprise, you close yours as well, relaxing.

'You are the part of me that I will always need,' Kirigan whispers, his voice a bit shaky. 'And after our argument… I was afraid you may have enough. And leave me. I don't know what would happen to me if you left.'

'Good think I'm not planning to go, then,' you say and cup his face, both of you opening your eyes. 'I promise to always be by your side. Or under you. Or on top.'

Aleksander laughs. You grin. You love to make him do that so much.

'I'd love to test that now,' he murmurs, leaning to your face. 'But I'm afraid it would be too much to everyone outside the door.'

'Yes, that's true,' you agree. 'Can I get a kiss, though?'

Instead of answering, he cups your face and kisses you. You sigh and answer the kiss hungrily. Saints, how you adore kissing him. It was so worth the wait. But it ends much too soon to your disappointment.

'I should go,' Aleksander whispers. 'Before I'll have you on that table.'

'I wouldn't mind,' you assure him. Kirigan looks at you darkly and forces himself to pull away.

'Maybe another time,' he promises and clears his throat. 'So… we're good.'

You nod. He smiles at you, relieved, and kisses you one last time. Then, he turns and leaves. Everyone outside pretends they've been just walking past. When Aleksander leaves, they look inside and are relieved to see you smiling.

Some time later, you get a wonderful news. Thanks to Prince Vasily inviting his 'noble' friends to an engagement party of his brother, Nikolay, and Alina (something you believe to be a sham), you now know where they all are hiding.

You're to stay behind. You want to go, but Ivan and Aleksander convince you that while you can protect yourself and they wouldn't have survived without you in the Fold, you're still not much of a fighter. Seeing their point, you agree to wait, albeit nervously.

You're relieved when they finally come back. But Kirigan just stops to briefly to kiss your cheek as a greeting, and shuts himself in his room. You look at Ivan with raised eyebrows.

'I take not everything went as he wanted?' you guess.

'We did manage to kill the King and Prince Vasily,' Ivan answers, causing you to look at him with wide eyes. 'But Prince Nikolay, Starkov and others have escaped. But there's also other small success.'

Just then a familiar face joins you from outside. You brighten up.

'Fedyor!' you say and crash your friend in a hug. He chuckles and embraces you back.

'It's good to see you alive and well, too, [Y/N],' he says and pulls away. You frown, seeing a hint of sadness and fear in his eyes.

'You weren't a prisoner, were you?' you ask quietly. Fedyor shakes his head slightly and glances at Ivan. You understand. Like you, he's here for the person he loves. You share a knowing look.

'[Y/N],' Fruzsi says, joining you. 'I'd like to give report to General.'

'You don't need my permission for it,' you say, puzzled. Ivan sighs.

'You're second in command, meaning you should be there as well,' he explains.

'Oh! Right, let's go,' you say and turn to the door. You knock on it.

'General,' Fruzsi calls.

'What?' you hear a sharp response. You two exchange a look and enter with two Heartrenders.

'Our scouts found no sign of the Sun Summoner, nor Prince Nikolai's group,' Fruzsi reports.

'So keep looking,' Aleksander says, not turning to you. He pours himself a drink. The four of you exchange a look.

'Sir, we've nearly rid Ravka of the Royal line and have Prince Nikolai on the run,' Ivan says. 'We'd diminish him further by shifting our efforts towards dismantling what is left of the First Army and their encampments.'

'It would be the more strategic move,' Fedyor agrees.

'Except that the Little Prince and his caravan are with my Sun Summoner,' Kirigan says, finally turning to you, and you hear nichevo snarling, then see them forming behind him. 'Alina Starkov is worth more than any army. So at the risk of sounding repetitive... find her.'

Fruzsi, Ivan and Fedyor glance nervously at the nichevo. They leave. You stare calmly at the creature. It seems to become smaller under your gaze. You turn to follow others.

'[Y/N], wait, please,' Aleksander stops you. You wait for Fedyor to close the door. The moment he does, you feel a hand grabbing yours.

'I only need Alina's power now,' Kirigan says, squeezing your hand. 'Please, believe me. That's all that is about.'

'I trust you,' you say and look at him to give him a sad smile. 'But I can't help feeling insecure when you talk about her.'

Aleksander cups your cheek and looks you in the eyes sincerely. You lean into his touch.

'You're the one I want by my side,' he says. 'I swear. And I promise to spend as much time as I need to help you beat your insecurities. Because you're the one thing I have left. I… I talked with Alina. She said that I didn't want her to destroy the Fold because that's the last thing I had left. She's wrong. I have you to lose as well. But I won't. I swear this to you.'

He leans down and gives you a kiss. You melt into it. When you pull away, you're both panting.

'Spend the night with me?' Aleksander asks. You nod and take a step back. You stare at each other for a moment longer, then you leave his chambers. And your heart does feel a bit lighter.

Later, you're working in the workshop, alone this time, when you hear it. A scream. Aleksander's scream. You freeze, at first, but then you bolt to his chambers. You don't see anyone on the corridors, probably no one else have heard it. You burst in and freeze again, surprised and very confused.

Kirigan's engulfed in his shadows. He looks as if someone is forcing his right hand down. But then he suddenly raises, but as if fighting with someone over it, and then it almost seems as if he is pushing someone away from him. The shadows disappear. He stands in place, panting and shaking.

'Aleksander?' you ask hesitantly. His eyes snap to you. He takes a step forward but then collapses. You thrust yourself to him and manage to slow down his sudden fall.

'[Y/N]…' he gasps. He grabs your kefta, holds on to it, and buries his face in your neck.

'You… only you… only you… I'm sorry…' he babbles. 'I'm so sorry… only you… all I have… you…'

You sit on the ground, stunned. You understand nothing of it. But you hold Aleksander close to yourself and comfort him. You want to be his shelter as he has been yours. He calms down after a moment and tells you what happened.

There's a connection between him and Alina. He's been showing himself to her as a projection. A moment ago, she's done the same for the first time. She tried to make him believe she starts to understand what he's been telling her, but in reality, she tried to destroy that bond, by removing the fragment of the Stag from his hand. She failed. He pushed her away.

'I didn't trust her,' he says, his look haunted. 'Nor fell for her flirt. You're the one I want. But still… it made me understand she will never willingly join our cause.'

You squeeze his arm comfortingly. You know how much he wanted her to join you, understand you. Finally realising that she doesn't agree with his methods… it really has hurt him.

A few minutes later Fruzsi, Ivan and Fedyor walk in. Aleksander has called for them. Now he's sitting by his desk, his back to them, with you having a hand on his shoulder.

'General?' Ivan asks.

'Take down the First Army encampments,' Kirigan orders. They're surprised by this change of heart. But also pleased (well, maybe beside Fedyor).

'Understood,' Fruzsi says, satisfied. 'We will refocus our efforts.'

'And what of the Sun Summoner?' Fedyor asks, his expression grim.

'The whole world will hear it… when I make her scream,' Aleksander answers through gritted teeth, while putting his hand on yours that is on his shoulder. You eye it. It looks worse because of Alina. Earlier you've wondered about- But no. You're ready to do anything to save him. Even something you've ben conflicted about before. But not anymore. Because you can't lose him either.

*

Thanks to Morozova's journal, you've found your way to his old workshop. You haven't told anyone about your plans, but you did leave a note explaining them on the bed. You doubt anyone would read it, though. You suspect they will panic and start looking for you frantically. Well, you did inform them in a way. The only way that guaranteed no one would stop you.

You pass a room with two coffins and enter the workshop. Your eyes light up at all the notebooks, journals, papers, writings on the walls… You immediately start looking through everything, hoping to find a cure for Aleksander. You're so focused on it, you only notice that you're not alone, when someone gasps.

You look up, alarmed. You stiffen, seeing stunned Alina, Mal and Baghra. But Starkov's look quickly hardens.

'Where is he?' she demands. You blink.

'I want to ask "who", but I feel you mean Aleksander,' you say. 'Well, he's not here.'

'Then how did you enter here?' Mal asks, puzzled. You look down, nervous.

'I… may have stolen a bit of his blood,' you admit guiltily. You almost feel Baghra's gaze on you.

'You've deciphered it,' she guesses. 'Morozova's journal.'

You're silent for a moment. You sigh and look at them.

'Some of it,' you confirm. 'I still don't understand most of it. But I did understood how to enter this workshop.

'And how did you find this place?' Baghra asks, putting their lantern away. Your gaze falls on a basket full of rare metals in the corner. The Shadow Summoner scoffs.

'Of course,' she says. 'He always bragged about his booty. Very rare. Rare enough for you to feel it if you knew more or less where to look for it.'

'But why did you come without him?' Alina asks. 'Surely, he would like to find out where to look for the Firebird.'

'I'm not here to find a clue about that amplifier,' you say, frowning. 'You can have it, for all I care. Hells, you can tear down the Fold and I wouldn't be bothered.'

Alina and Mal stare at you, surprised. Baghra just assesses you calmly. They start to talk quietly with each other. You ignore them. You only focus on them again, when Baghra says:

'Follow me. You, stay. Start sorting through his journals for any mention of the Firebird.'

She leaves and Mal follows her. Alina glances at you, then runs after them. But she returns after a moment. She eyes you warily and starts doing what you are.

'Why are you here, then?' she asks. 'If not for the Firebird?'

'Find a way to save him,' you answer. 'How are David and Genya?'

'Fine,' Alina answers after a moment, surprised, but then gets angry. 'If after what Kirigan did to Genya she can be fine.'

'For your information, we argued about it after I saw what he did,' you say, rolling your eyes. Alina is silent for a moment.

'Baghra and Genya did mention you're the one who let them out,' she admits. 'Which is why I don't understand why you're still on his side. Why after everything he's done, everyone he's killed, what he did to Genya-'

'He regrets it,' you interrupt her. 'He agreed he shouldn't have done that to her. Not after all she did for him.'

Alina stares at you, shocked. Your look softens.

'He's not as evil as you make him to be,' you say quietly and return to your search.

'You have a good heart, [Y/N],' Starkov says after a beat. 'You felt for me, when he tore me away from Mal and talked with him on my behalf. You are not someone who would commit horrors that all of Aleksander's follower do.'

'Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two different things,' you say flatly. Alina scoffs.

'You don't need to,' she insists, annoyed. 'If you'd stayed that day on the skiff, you'd be welcomed in the Spinning Wheel. Among other Grisha. Because they are. Nikolay is going to be the King now. He believes we can live together. He can make Ravka whole.'

You chuckle, amused at her naïve dreams. You don't think this country can ever be mended. It's too late for that. Not that you care.

'So can Aleksander,' you say.

'With terror and murder?' Starkov scoffs. 'He won't rule for long. You know it. You know fear is not enough. So, why are you-'

'Damn it, Alina, how many times?' you snap. 'I'm in love with him! That's why I don't hesitate to bend my morals. And don't you dare judging me for this, because I'm pretty sure you'd bend yours for Mal.'

'But does he love you back?' Starkov asks, her voice low. 'Or does he even know you're here?'

You stiffen and your heart skips a beat. Because he still hasn't said it. You clench your jaw.

'Not unless he read a note I left,' you answer, skimming through a journal in your hands. You freeze a second later. Your eyes quickly scan the words on the pages. Your heart skips a beat again.

'Alina!' you hear Mal's panicked voice at that exact moment. You and Starkov look at each other, surprised.

'Okay, maybe he read it after all,' you say, surprised, and snap the journal shut. 'How about we save Mal? You care for him and I'd hate to see what you're capable of if he's hurt. Or dead.'

You both hurry outside. You stop dead in your tracks. Mal is on the ground. Baghra is standing in front of him, preparing a Cut. Facing them is Aleksander, desperately trying to stop his nichevo'ya from attacking his mother. One is holding him back and the other is about to throw itself on Baghra.

'No!' Alina screams, already summoning light.

'Stop!' you shout at the same time, panicked. And just like that, the nichevo that was about to attack Baghra… stops. Everyone stares in stunned silence, as it turns its head toward you. You shake your head. Both nichevo'ya disappear.

Baghra, Alina and Mal stare at you in shock. You use their confusion and hurry to Kirigan. You grab his shoulder and drag him toward the horses.

'Come on, we've got what we needed,' you urge him.

'Indeed,' Aleksander says, his eyes on Mal. The tracker gulps, staring back. Kirigan smiles slightly and follows you to the horses. You mount them quickly. You glance at Alina. You share a sad look, both of you regretting that you're on the opposite sides. She wants to say something, but you already ride away with Aleksander.

'What was that?' Mal asks, turning to Baghra. 'Why it listened to her, while it didn't listen to Kirigan?'

Baghra is silent. In her mind she replays the last time she saw you.

'He will hurt you for this.'

'He can't.'

'That's why he let us go,' Baghra whispers, understanding slowly. Mal and Alina look at her, confused. Old woman chuckles.

'A bit more time… and it won't be Aleksander calling all the shots,' she says and sighs sadly. 'But the question is, whether we have that much time.'

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Every comment makes my day!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/134444428

[naushtheaspiringauthor]

~Child Of The Storm~

Nikolai Lantsov x OC

Image by - @brokendreamtale2

Warnings- none😼

A/N- Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

Taglist- @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @sirisuorionblack @nadeleine123n

Ch-25 ~The Mad Captain~

Anaya rushed to the side of the railing and looked down at the land far away, "This is pure madness!" She yelled louder than she'd anticipated.

"This is impossible!" She heard Alina speak in a similar tone

“When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable.” Sturmhond responded, grinning. He truly looked like a lunatic.

“Where did this thing come from?” Alina shouted up to Sturmhond.

“I designed her. I built her. And I crashed a few prototypes.”

Anaya started pacing around the ship. She'd always dreamed of flying as a child, but it was really just a foolish dream, one she'd never expected to come true. Her heartbeat grew faster, "Okay um, maybe dying from falling off the sky isn't such a bad way to go out" she wavered her arms. 

"Don't worry darling, this ship won't crash, at least that's what I hope" the mad boy nodded. His words weren't helping in the slightest.

Mal leaned over the lip of the cockpit, trying to get a better view of the gigantic guns positioned at the foremost points of the hulls. “Those guns,” he spoke. “They have multiple barrels.”

“And they’re gravity fed. No need to stop to reload. They fire two hundred rounds per minute.” Sturmhond responded

“That’s—”

“Impossible? The only problem is overheating, but it isn’t so bad on this model. I have a Zemeni gunsmith trying to work out the flaws. Barbaric little bastards, but they know their way around a gun. The aft seats rotate so you can shoot from any angle.” The bastard began showing off at the worst possible hour

“And fire down on the enemy,” Mal shouted. “If Ravka had a fleet of these—”

“Quite an advantage, no? But the First and Second Armies would have to work together.”

Anaya suddenly saw a bright light shining off the port bow, great lighthouse at Alkhem Bay. They were close. She could see the gleaming towers of Os Kervo harbour.

But the madman didn't went towards it. She assumed they’d set down somewhere offshore.

But soon the lighthouse beam disappeared from her sight. Just what was this boy intending to do?

The cold winds crashed with Anaya's body, making her quiver. She managed to peer down again, but they were no longer near normal land.

“Sturmhond!” Alina suddenly shouted in panic. “What are you doing?”

“You said you were taking us to Os Kervo—” Mal yelled.

“I said I was taking you to meet my client.”

“Forget that,” Alina wailed. “Where are we going to land?”

“Not to worry,” said Sturmhond. “I have a lovely little lake in mind.”

“How little?” she squeaked.

Mal climbed out of the cockpit in haste, his face burning with fury. “Mal, sit down!” Alina ordered

“You lying, thieving—” he charged towards the boy

“I’d stay where you are. I don’t think you want to be jostling around when we enter the Fold.” Sturmhond remained eerily calm

Mal froze.

The bastard began to whistle that same off-key tune.

You can’t be serious,” Alina said.

“Not on a regular basis, no,” said Sturmhond. “There’s a rifle secured beneath your seat, Oretsev. You may want to grab it. Just in case.”

“You can’t take this thing into the Fold!” Mal bellowed.

“Why not? From what I understand, I’m traveling with the one person who can guarantee safe passage.”

“Maybe I’ll just let the volcra have you and your crew for a late-night snack!” Alina spoke with immense rage

Sturmhond kept one hand on the wheel and consulted his timepiece. “More of an early breakfast. We really are behind schedule. Besides, it’s a long way down. Even for a Sun Summoner.”

Anaya began to pace around again, much rapidly this time. "He really is going to throw us offboard and feed us to the volcra!" Anaya screamed in panic, her breath trembling. She had a nervous smile plastered over her face that looked quite concerning, "I was right" she whispered

“Saints,” Alina swore.

They stars hung in the dark blue sky, the moonlight gleamed behind them. But ahead, there was nothing. The crazy bastard was actually going to drive them into the fold

“Gunners, at your stations,” he called. “Squallers, hold steady.”

“Sturmhond, I’m going to kill you!” Alina shouted. “Turn this thing around right now!”

“Wish I could oblige. I’m afraid if you want to kill me, you’ll just have to wait until we land. Ready?”

“No!” Alina shrieked.

But the next moment, they were in darkness. The blanket of the dark abyss covered the skies. There was an eery silence around them, they were inside the fold.

Alina braced her feet against the deck and threw up her hands in a hurry, casting a wide golden swath of sunlight around the Hummingbird.

“They’re coming, listen.” Mal spoke

Over the rush of the wind, they could heard a cry echo through the Fold, and then the steady beating of volcra wings. They’d found them quickly, drawn by the smell of human prey. Their wings beat the air around the circle of light Alina had created, . 

Anaya rushed to a side of the cockpit and picked up a rifle, bracing herself for whatever was to come their way.

Alina spread her arms, allowing the light to gleam brighter, driving them back.

“No,” Sturmhond spoke. “Bring them closer.”

“What? Why?” she asked. The boy was really craving to pet his tamed beasts.

“They hunt us,” he said, raising his voice so everyone could hear him. “Maybe it’s time we hunted them.”

“Pull back the light,” Sturmhond told Alina.

“He’s out of his mind,” she said to Mal. “Tell him he’s out of his mind.”

But he hesitated. “Well...”

“Well what?” she asked, incredulously. “In case you’ve forgotten, one of those things tried to eat you!”

He shrugged “Maybe that’s why I’d like to see what those guns can do.”

Anaya blew out an exasperated breath, the privateer had driven everyone mad.

“Just for a moment,” pressed Sturmhond. “Indulge me.”

The crew was waiting. Tolya and Tamar were hunched over the protruding barrels of their guns. They looked like leather-backed insects. Tamar gestured Anaya to come over. So she quietly put the rifle back and went towards on of the guns , it seemed to be reserved for her. "We need you here" Tamar spoke. Anaya nodded and took her position

Mal lifted his rifle to his shoulder.

The circle of light contracted, shrinking around the ship.

The Volcra began to shriek in excitement.

"All the way!" the mad captain commanded.

[adamnablelittledevil]

@probablynottola thank you for tagging me! I love this games and also love Ted Lasso! I almost used it here, but thought the answers would be too repetitive so went with something different hehe.

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better

@black-market-wd4o, @voiddusk, @kaokhss, @ellavrena, @jaypentaghast, @andy4yippee, @unhinged-nonsense, @gayboymolloy, @hearfrost, @waterghoulcalamity

P.S. As I edited this on my drafts, some of the blogs I'd successfully tagged got unmarked and I don't know why? So I'm keeping it anyway in case it does show up on the notifications or people see it on their dash and want to play. No pressure tho. ^^ x

I choose:

Interview With the Vampire.

Stranger Things.

Shadow and Bone (going with the books because I'm not caught up on the show, but I did love season 1!).

The first character you loved:

Lestat, but things shifted pretty quickly to Louis, Claudia, Armand, Louis again and so on... But I guess he was the first because I wish I had his confidence.

El.

Alina.

The character you relate to most:

I relate to a lot of things with all of them, the least would be Daniel, but I still have one or two things in common with him. It's hard to say, but I think Claudia is a safe choice. She's definitely one of them and could definitely be the very first.

Will.

It depends, but Alina or Genya.

The character you'd slap:

ALL OF THEM except Claudia.

Lonnie. Would happily kill him with my bare hands.

The Darkling. Would happily give him the slowest, loneliest and most painful death in the world tbh.

Three favorite characters in order of preference:

Like I said, at this point it really depends on the episode. Sometimes I don't know who to choose even on one scene with just two people. Things are that balanced for me, which is a testimony of how mind-blowing the acting and writing are on this show. It's so satisfying to not be able to choose because all the options are amazing, I hope that never changes.

Will, El, Mike.

Alina = Mal, Genya.

A character you liked at first but don't like anymore:

Santiago. I hate him as a person, love him as a character, cheered when he died and applaud Ben Daniels for his amazing work. All reactions can and do coexist in me.

The only one I can think about is One? I mean, he is supposed to be the character you root against because of spoilery reasons, but I did like him at first. And I did see that plot twist coming from miles away. And it was still one of my favorite scenes from all time anyway because it was that powerful to see. Emmy material. And while I root against him, I still love him as a character. Wow. Such an upgrade in that category of specific type of characters. I love it.

I don't think there's one? Now that I'm thinking about it, I believe this story actually didn't have any traitors or characters that frustrated me? I started and finished the books loving/hating the same people, the only ones that I changed my opinion about grew on me after their development, never the other way around. Unless I'm forgetting something.

A character you did not like at first but now do:

Armand. It was more of a neutral opinion than dislike or hate. There wasn't much to know about him on season 1, but now... I'm obsessed. Assad is a wonderful actor, he stole the scene several times and gave me some of my favorite moments in the history of television.

Steve. I think the writers didn't know what to do with him at first, so he behaved in bad ways that really don't make sense with the person he turned out to be. It wasn't even like "wow, what a great character development", because he has absolute no signs of that guy anymore. It just feels like a totally different character at this point, but in a good way. He's my favorite among the teenage characters.

Zoya.

Three OTPs:

So I don't have OTPs that easily, it depends a lot on the writing, chemistry and the characters having a good amount of screen time for a pairing to get on OTP level for me. But here we go:

OTP

SHIP that has potential to become otp depending on future development

Ship I like and I root for, but some things are still missing for me OR there's probably not enough time left for it to become a full otp at this point

LOUSTAT? Okay, these two I'm not sure if they are a ship or straight-up OTP to me, I'm still figuring it out, but they're my favorite so far. Also, the church scene and the hug are my top 3 of favorite scenes on the show and some of my favorite on anything I've ever watched. I think Loustat will go down in history not only as one of the biggest pairings on TV shows, but also as the only one that fully explored all the depths of a relationship and even the depths of existence for the characters as individuals. The good, the bad, the ugly, the complicated. There's nothing else out there with that caliber of writing, chemistry, details and layers. At least not so far. And I'm in for it. ARMANDIEL, I need more time, but I'm invested. I haven't read the books, but everything I hear about Devil Minion sounds so compelling. And that scene with young Daniel is the other scene from my IWTV top 3. It's one of my favorite scenes ever as well. The chemistry was out-of-this-world and I hope they develop their dynamic on both timelines. LESMAND, I need more and I'm incredibly invested too. Everything about them on the books just sounds so insane. That scene they had alone, the chemistry was fantastic and so hypnotizing... They could be as explosive as Loustat, but in a totally different way if the writers want. I'll probably still root for the endgame ships, because that's what they'll spend more time with anyway, but I could accept any, each and everything they give me because the chemistry between all the duos is that incredible. Even Loumand, that sank pretty fast in the narrative, I loved their flirty and courtship phase so much. I'd also accept a large polyamorous ship if they gave me, but we know those vampires would kill each other and themselves because they can't really share lol. But I'm just enjoying the ride and having a great time.

BYLER, Jancy, Elmax.

MALINA, Genya x David, Nadia x Tamar (tbh that's the only other ship I remember/think that exists on the books and I'm neutral, but Nadia is AWESOME and I love her).

[galwithalibrarycard]

Tagged by @sonseulsoleil (thanks Charlie! Can’t wait to read more of your Heartstopper fics and see what you write for LOTR!) and by @monstrous-femme (I was gonna tag you in this, but you beat me to it!)

< Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics, then tag ten people! If you’ve written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway. <

(From most to least recently posted on my AO3, so these are circa 2022 and 2021.)

1. plausible deniability (Beadick, Lolilo)

Beatrice Duke does not sneak into other people's empty flats, and certainly not to make out with her ex-boyfriend. She doesn't even have an ex-boyfriend! That is, not anymore.

What she does have is Ben, and that feels like a miracle, after they’d all but fallen apart under months of missed texts and truncated video calls and so many hours between them. As it turns out, though, even long-distance had proven less painful than actively staying away from each other has been.

2. diamonds (Satine/Nini, Moulin Rouge the Musical, rated M)

Nini is beautiful, and sensuous, and makes Satine’s blood boil. She’s the only person at the Rouge who isn’t intimidated by the mystique of the Sparkling Diamond. The only one brave enough to smack her on the ass on her way offstage or criticize her to her face when Satine drops a note or flubs a dance step, rare though that is. She challenges her.

3. a single thread of gold (Malina, Shadow & Bone, Modern AU)

She walks into the restaurant and there he is, at the table in the corner with his hands in his pockets and his long legs crossed lazily. Mal has his gaze trained on the couple in the center of the room, a blond boy in a too-fancy suit and a dark-haired girl in a blue cocktail dress. Mal and Alina are supposed to be watching for a signal, in case their friend Zoya wants them to bail her out of the blind date they’d set her up on.

4. what happens in group chat (Meg Winter & Beadick, Lolilo, post-canon texting fic)

Meg Winter’s Phone

Group Chat with: Bea babe, Bendy-dick

Meg: hey are you guys coming to my Oscars party next month? Tryna plan ahead

Bea babe: you’re having a party?!

Meg: duh, I’m an entertainment journalist I have to celebrate the Oscars Bea babe: nice, we’ll save the date then

Meg: speaking of save the dates���

Bea babe: shut up

5. with pure and piercing certainty (Malina, Shadow and Bone, winter fete canon divergence)

The shadow general has cold, cold eyes. As Kirigan sneers at him, those eyes fill Mal with a mortal fear, because this man has had Alina in his power for months. A man with eyes like that- he could have done anything to her, to make her serve him, to keep her from writing, all these months. There will be no waiting for an escort or a summons. Mal needs to find Alina now.

6. you keep me up at night (Offspring (TV), Nina x Zara, rated E)

Nina Proudman’s mouth goes dry. She’s lying in her bed, and in front of her is Zara Perkich, clad only in a lacy black g-string and a positively dirty smirk.

“Like what you see?” she asks, knowing the answer by the dilation of Nina’s pupils and her sudden inability to produce words.

7. on the doorstep (Beadick, Lolilo, Bea is in on the rules for matchmaking reasons)

“It’s 9:45, Benedick, you’re being ridiculous!” Beatrice snaps, her fingers curled around the doorframe so he can’t shut her out. It’s only been a day, and she’s already done with this tent business.

“I’m sorry, it’s the rules-” Ben starts, going pink with embarrassment.

8. in every universe (Beadick, NMTD/Lolilo)

i. Game of Thrones

“We’d be so dead in this universe,” Ben points out as the GoT credits roll. “We’d still find each other first, of course, and you’d try to seize the throne at some point for sure.”

9. Short Shorts and Knee-Highs (Beadick, NMTD/Lolilo, post-canon)

Beatrice finds her boyfriend lounging on the little loveseat in their hotel room, his head propped up on one couch arm. Ben is channel surfing with the tv volume off, clearly lost in the kind of enjoyable boredom you only experience on holiday. His body is too long for the shitty little hotel couch, legs dangling over the edge of the far armrest. He looks up and smiles as she walks in.

10. A Shower of Sparks (Malina, Shadow and Bone)

From the moment she lays eyes on Mal in the woods, Alina feels that she can breathe again.

Being in the Little Palace was like stuffing herself into a smaller and smaller box every day, despite the good friends she’d made there and the rush of using her powers. She shoves aside the shame of having been fooled and toyed with; there’s no time for that now. Now she’s free, under the open sky, with her favorite person in the world by her side again. With her powers released and her hand in Mal’s, she feels better than she has in a long time, maybe ever.

I tag: @nbshrubberry @miz-chase and anyone else who sees this, writes fic, and feels like sharing their work! :)

[minetteskvareninova]

Darkling girlies said that the narrative villainizes Darkling unnecessarily, while failing to hold the royal family accountable. I think there are shades of grey in this debate, but yeah. My main problem is the implication that Darkling is somehow responsible for the awakened anti-grisha bigotry in Ravka, and that him murdering Ravkan soldiers to stop the genocide they restarted against his people is somehow wrong, which... NO. FUCK NO. AND FUCK YOU FOR EVEN SUGGESTING IT. Now, am I saying Darkling did nothing wrong? Obviously not, again, the dude nuked a city with horrible dark magic. But aside from that big, obvious thing, he did nothing wrong. There are suggestions that he’s planning a genocide against the non-grisha, which is obviously bad, but like. He’s not THE big bad in this situation. That’s very obviously Vasily and the Fjerdans. Let me put it this way. In the X-Men movies, Magneto was the bad guy, but also, the narrative was very clear on the fact that there are people who deserve their comeuppance much more than him - like the evil senator from I think the second movie? The point is, there were still villains with actual screen time who represented the oppression that made Magneto do what he was doing, and they had to be defeated too. I am not opposed to Nikolai as the Big Good of the story on principle, but the fact that the story refuses to deal with the fact that his family are the bad guys drives me up to wall. Like, there’s some really juicy narrative stuff just laying right there in front of the writers. Nikolai should be furious! He should hate his family for what they are doing! He, Mal and Alina should approve of Darkling freeing the grisha, if of nothing else he’s doing! Even more, there should be the grisha who hate the non-grisha just like him, who would absolutely go along with his genocidal ideology, because they are just as scared and angry as him! Before Alina defeats him with the help of the macguffins, she and Nikolai should do their best to defeat him politically and militarily, to fight not just him, but the grisha that follow him and his ideology! This is supposed to be a series for adults, or at least people older than the fucking Harry Potter audience! (Even then, I’d argue that Harry Potter actually handled the political side of Voldemort’s reign better, and it had its big bad take charge of the country by just straight up using mind control on the prime minister.)

[1islessthan3books]

My thoughts after watching Season 2 of Shadow and Bone

SPOILERS for books and series!!

- I hate where they left Mal and Alina. I MUCH prefered the book version. (And also I don't like that Alina brought Mal back and then let him go. And didn't tell him.)

- I also don't like the Matthias situation, but I guess that it isn't really worse than in canon

- Because I heard that series are more like "fanfiction" about the books, I hope that David won't die. TBH I thought his death was really pointless. I didn't really get why he couldn't go with Genya in hiding.

- I liked the addition of the Ohval and the story with the blade! (I think it was quite smart to bring up another living saint. I am quite sure they have big plans for Zoya - the bee at scene of burning the Darkling was a nice detail 😁) also it brought a lot of action and some Jesper x Wylan moments. And the hallucinations where really nice addition IMO

- I watched it with my boyfriend and he could predict all the big "suprises" that I was really looking forward 🤣 (as far as I can remember). Which was kind a annoying (to me at least)

- I liked that Inej already got the ship 😁 but I don't like that I have the feeling that they are trying to get up the Tolya x Inej... but I guess it would add some interesting scenes. (As long as Kaz and Inej are together at the end...)

- I think that they made some really *interesting* choices about Mal and Alina (and Nikolai) and I am not sure how they will fix them (if they even want/intend to 😅)

- I would say that without the last episode I really liked the choices that they made (at least right now I dont remember any choice in episodes 1-7 that I hated) So I guess that last episode was made with S3 in the mind and that maybe they had marketing porpuse. That might pay off. But right now I still don't like them.

[greensaplinggrace]

I feel like you are the only person on here that likes the Darkling AND Mal (also Darklina and Malina) and is respectful about it. I love them both and have been trying to find more people that do too. so I was wondering if you knew any accounts that like them both? thx! ❤️

Hi nonny! I really appreciate this ask, and I tried to find some blogs that fit the criteria. Unfortunately, the SaB fandom is pretty divided, and finding people more accepting of both sides is pretty difficult. I was actually going to make a post myself asking for blogs to follow that ship both or that treat both characters well because I’ve run into much the same problem. Currently, I’m actually following a lot of anti blogs that post content for their preferred ships/characters, and I just have the anti tags blacklisted. It’s still kind of depressing to see that kind of stuff pop up so much even when it’s blacklisted, but it’s manageable. Anybody who doesn’t tag their anti shit immediately gets blocked because they’re assholes, so I end up at least following people who are respectful of others in the fandom, which is good enough for me in the end.

I’m also not too sure if you want blogs that are neutral, blogs that post both, blogs that defend Aleksander but still like Mal, or something else. In general, any big gif-making blog is going to be a good bet, as they’re oftentimes more invested in simply creating content than creating anti content. Anything else and it gets slightly complicated, but here are some blogs I could find.

@inejz-ghafa is an amazing gifmaker for anything to do with sab

@eivor-basim is a mindblowing darklina gifmaker

@jesperfahxey has made stellar gifs for many of the characters, all of which I love, and actively reblogs Malina and other sab content

@kazbrekkor is a phenomenal editor and gifmaker who posts and reblogs tons for every character, including a lot for Malina and Darklina

@peraltastarkov reblogs for every character and is super respectful, very nice, and her sab edits are stunning

@cherylblossom, whose gifs are to die for, especially her Malina ones, and who reblogs tons of Darklina stuff as well

@dearemma‘s Darklina gifs own my entire soul, no lie

@flaythleann is a splendid Darklina writer and they reblog great content for all of the characters

@finnismyoriginalsin is a multifandom blog that reblogs a lot of Darkling and Darklina content

@crow-summoner is great too. they reblog tons of Crows content as well as Darklina content and they’re very cool about Mal

@mal-zoya is such a good ot3 blog for Malarklina!! and they’re a super fan of Mal, so there’s tons of content for him as well as Malina

@rey-of-luke, who also ships the ot3 and who posts about Malina and  Darklina!

@sanktyastag has the funniest tags in the world and ships both Malarklina and Darklina. they also make these brilliant quote edits that will absolutely blow you away

@sturmmhond is another amazing blog that loves them both and has some spectacular posts about all of the characters on their blog

@brightburner, mostly Darklina but also Malina, very awesome, one of my favorite sab blogs

@strawberrieswing is an all Mal blog, but she’s super respectful, super fun, and her edits are absolutely amazing

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head! Sorry if it’s not enough or not what you’re looking for. I really understand where you’re coming from lol, so I hope I helped out at least a bit. The blogs above are at least respectful of what they don't actively post about, and I like them all quite a bit! To be honest there are probably more that I know of too but just can't think of at the moment, so I'll probably reblog this with another list when I have the time.

I’ll also use this post to shoutout though, anybody who likes both Mal and Aleksander and even ships both Malina and Darklina, PLEASE RESPOND and I will absolutely follow. I’ve legitimately been scouring the fandom for blogs that aren’t full of anti stuff lol.

[kasagia]

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 2❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: December. Everyone in the Little and Grand Palaces is excited about the upcoming holidays. Only the Black General seems rather... depressed. Like every year when these holidays are coming closer. Maybe this year, since you've been promoted to his second-in-command, you can make the general's holidays a little more enjoyable? And you're not doing it because you're in love with him and you want to see him finally careless happy... not even a little bit. Written with sounds of: Chemtrails over the country club - Lana Del Rey Word Count: 3,5 k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @budugu ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 1 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 3 ~•♤♤♤•~

Sneeze. You blow your nose into your handkerchief as quietly as you can and go back to writing. Another sneeze. You watch the tent flap out of the corner of your eye, ready for his return at any moment.

You caught a cold. Probably because you fell into a snowdrift with him and had… a moment there. You'd probably rather avoid all this. At least your heart wouldn't beat stupidly every time you were in his presence. And the stuffy nose and scratchy throat were just an irritating addition to your misery.

You sneeze loudly just as you hear his heavy-booted footsteps entering his tent. You mentally curse and close your eyes. You hear him brush the snow off his clothes before he stands still as he notices you. His burning gaze on your back almost makes you feel a little warmer.

"I'd like to say that I have right, but you look so poorly that even Ivan wouldn't have the heart to tell you that. Explain to me, in the name of the saints, what you are doing here instead of warming yourself by the fire wrapped in a blanket, preferably with a healer who will help you get out of this?" he asks, crossing his arms and wrinkling his nose at the pile of used tissues next to you.

"We ungrouped. Zoya took everyone with her except Fedyor, Mal, and Alina and went on looking for the stag." you grumble, pulling your coat tighter around you. "Besides, I haven't finished these papers."

"Why the hell did the tracker stay here instead of going with them?"

You shrug. "I guess he doesn't get along with Zoya. He said the stag got scared and found a hiding place to wait out the worst of the snow. He says we'll try again in a week, when it will stop snowing a little bit. I'm not surprised. If I were him, I'd also rather go back to the castle than chase the stag in the beginning of the raw winter."

"If you were him, we would have had a stag's bones in the Little Palace long ago, ready to be used when Alina mastered her powers. Besides, the boy distracts her. Not only does he delay our hunting, he also delays her training and doesn't let her use her full potential."

Jealousy settles unpleasantly inside you, digging a hole in your stomach. You should get used to it. Eventually, he and Alina will end up together one day and make a great couple. Sun and shadows. Light and darkness. Day and night. And other poetic shit like that. They were soulmates. One of a kind. No one could deny it.

"Maybe you're not as good a teacher as Baghra after all?" you say teasingly, trying to enjoy all the attention he was still showing you... at least until he realises that Alina is… extraordinary and is much more worthy of the position by his side. As his second-in-command, right hand, or… even someone much more, you could ever be to him.

"And you against me? My own deputy?" he snorts and walks over to the fire in the centre of the tent. You see the smirk stretch across his lips, and it instantly warms you, even before he even lights the fire.

"Baghra is specific, to say the least, but she is great at what she does. I don't know many people who would ever lose control of their powers after training with her."

"Believe me, I know such people…" he says thoughtfully. He stops lighting the fire and stares at the tinder in his hands. You feel the tension in his muscles and the quickening of his heartbeat as another of his memories comes flooding back to him.

Your heart clenches with grief and sympathy as you see his eyes darken under the heavy flashback. Without thinking, you walk up to him and take the tinder from his hand to light the fire yourself.

"When I was little, my brothers liked to camp in the forest and in the fields. We played soldiers who go to war and have to spend the night with only a sleeping bag and a tent. We had to find the rest ourselves. Our mother had a heart attack more than once when we returned late in the afternoon, dirty, freezing, and starving, but with such big smiles on her face that she didn't even shout at us. She left it to her father." you laughed as the first flames engulfed the logs in the fire.

"What happened to them?"

You're shaking. At first, you don't want to answer his question, but when you look up and see his gaze fixed on you, those dark eyes, so interested in you, you just... melt. Your heart is too weak to let this moment of his attention slip through your fingers.

"Fjerdans. They attacked my village and killed my parents. My siblings and I went to live with our grandparents, and a year later we were tested for Grishas. Only I was. They kicked me out of the house so quickly that I didn't even have time to pack. They did it themselves. My youngest brother took pity on me enough to put his stuffed animal in my bag. As a keepsake. We write to each other. I actually only keep in touch with him. But it's always better than being alone."

"You are not alone." he says it quickly, before he can even process your words, and places his hand on your shoulder, stroking it tenderly. "You... will never be alone, Y/N." he says with such confidence and tone of voice as if it was a promise he would never break.

He looked at you many times, but now. You feel something new in his gaze. A certain kind of tenderness, understanding, need for protection. And you bask in this feeling, as if in the glow of the warmest fire. The fire next to you isn't half as warm as his gaze on you and the touch you feel on your skin even under the layers of clothes you're wearing.

"I... I know." you whisper, hypnotized by the deep gaze of his dark eyes. "I have Fedyor, Genya, David, Alina. You. I found myself a new family. Maybe it's better to be nobody's daughter."

"No one will hurt you like your own family will." he sighs, nodding.

The crackle of burning wood is the only thing that can be heard in the silence that has fallen between you. His hand gradually moves from your shoulder to your neck, where he strokes your cold skin with his thumb, making you shiver.

"You're cold. We should warm you up. Where are your gloves and scarf?" he asks, shaking off the moment between you.

You feel him tense again and go to his bed to grab a black fur blanket and wrap it around you. You blush slightly, enveloped in his warmth and scent. You thank all the saints that he can't hear your heart beating fast… unless he felt your pulse when he caressed your neck with his thumb. Then you are fucked up.

"I left it in my tent. I was in a hurry to get here. I wanted to finish the paperwork as quickly as I could so as not to infect you." he laughs at your words and you frown, not knowing what's so funny.

"I don't get sick, milaya. Get some sleep. Maybe the tracker is skilled enough to track down an animal for dinner. I'll come back with some soup for you. Rest. General's order. I need my deputy to be fully healthy and ready to fulfil her duties. I believe the king will want to call a council as soon as we return."

He throws a pillow at you, which you catch, and he walks out of the tent, leaving you shocked and a little puzzled next to the fire. You immediately feel warmer, and the runny nose bothers you a little less as you allow yourself to lie down. Wrapped in its warmth and scent, you fall asleep ridiculously quickly. Your dreams are filled with him... warming you up in a completely different, more pleasant way.

You don't know how much time passes. You wake up feeling a little better. You look around the tent in a daze, remembering how you got here. The fire still burns, still warming you, but not like a warm blanket and coat. Their black, dark colour clearly indicates their owner.

The smell of something delicious fills your nostrils. Your mouth waters as you look at the huge bowl of warm soup.

"Why is it not a wonder for me that the only thing that can wake you up is food?" you hear his amused voice. You turn towards him. He is sitting at his desk; a candle is lit as he writes something. He lifts his head for a moment and gives you a quick glance. "Eat. You'll feel better."

You take the bowl, and after the first spoonful, you groan at the taste of the soup. "How come this is good? Our supply of spices is long gone; how did you season it?"

He can't help but laugh. He puts down his pen and leans back in his chair, looking at you, curled up in his blankets and coat by the fire. A strange feeling warms him from the inside, seeing you so... at home with him, and if it weren't for your wheezing and red nose, he would have no qualms about enjoying the sight. But he knew you were only here because you were sick, and his care was helpful. No one would willingly stay with him. No one has ever done this...

"I haven't lived in a palace all my life, Y/N. I know how to take care of myself in all circumstances."

"How bad will it be if I say this is better than what you feed us in the Little Palace?" you ask, wolfing down the soup. Somehow he can't help but giggle. The heat inside him continues to grow… maybe you were able to infect him after all?

"Do not get used to it. This special treatment ends when you stop making sounds with your nose with every breath you take. Besides, you snore, colonel." he says it with complete seriousness, but even he isn't strong enough to hide the mischievous smirk that appears on his lips as he watches the growing outrage and embarrassment on your face.

"I am not!" you say it indignantly and throw his pillow at him.

He catches it gracefully with a smirk and throws it next to you, far enough away that you can't reach for it without moving. You moan, but don't change your position. You're too blissfully warm to do that.

"Move up. You can't be in one position all the time. You'll get stiff."

"Won't you massage me, general?" you ask flirtatiously. Your behaviour surprises both you and him, but for some reason, your filter is off. You say what you think, and you don't hold anything back... you also feel very hot, which is both pleasant and a bit bothersome.

"Do not cross the border. I'm not your nurse."

"Shame." you say briefly and put the bowl aside. He watches you carefully, noticing that your movements are a little less coordinated.

He walks over to you. He places his hand on your forehead and frowns. "You're burning. We should take these layers off of you."

"As much as some women would like you to undress them, right now it's not something I want."

"Y/N." he speaks to you calmly and gently, like to a child. "You have a fever. You can't be too warm, or it will only make things worse. I'll bring you some water, and when I come back I want to see you out of this cocoon."

"And who are you, my father?" you huff, crossing your arms and tightening your grip on the blanket.

"No. I am much more. I am... your general. So do what I say."

You roll your eyes at him. Your defiant attitude would have done all kinds of... inappropriate things to him if it weren't for the fact that his main concern right now was your health. That's why he doesn't play and argue with you any longer. He takes you into his arms in one confident, sweeping movement. You squeal in shock, clinging to him, afraid he'll drop you. The blanket and coat fall off you, leaving you only in your red kefta.

"No! It's cold!" you struggle with him in his arms.

He allows you to fight him enough to stand on the ground on your own two feet, but you're still trapped in his grip. You probably would have struggled with him for a while longer (until you had completely exhausted your energy), but you both froze in place when you heard a soft grunt coming from the entrance to his tent.

"Um... general?" Fedyor looks at the two of you confused. "I have that medicines you asked about." you frown at the fact that he sent him to the village to get medicine for you. "Mal also went with the list to Ivan. They will be here with a healer the day after tomorrow at the latest."

"Good, Fedyor. Well done. Leave these medications and get out of here. You are letting the cold in." he says, clearing his throat. Fedyor smiles at his reaction, clearly hearing his rapid heartbeat.

"Yes, sir." He puts the medicines on the table. "I would wish you a speedy recovery, Y/N, but under these conditions, I don't think it's really necessary. Good night." he says this and runs away from there, no longer exposing himself to the general's angry look.

He doesn't stay mad for very long. His thoughts of punishing Fedyor for his insolence quickly disappear when he hears your coughing. He looks at you tenderly and leads you to his bed.

"Here." he whispers and hands you a glass with some strange brown liquid in it.

"Aleksander, I can't drink alcohol in this state." you grumble and snuggle into his quilt, trying to create a cocoon of warmth around you again.

But he won't let you. Which is met with great protest from you.

He grabs your arms and moves you so you're leaning against the headboard of his bed, sitting down, handing you a glass, and glaring at you as he sits across from you, watching you closely. He would make you shiver if the fever didn't already make you tremble.

"Drink it. That's herb. It will help." you look at the glass warily. "What's wrong again?"

"Herbs are bitter. I don't want to drink it." you say angrily and put the glass with that damned thing on the nightstand.

"Your general is ordering you to do it. Drink." he says firmly, pushing the glass to your mouth. You purse your lips, glaring at him defiantly, at which he sighs.

If you were anyone else, he would have abandoned you a long time ago. He would leave you alone to maybe die, and he wouldn't think twice about you.

But you were his Y/N.

It changed everything. And he was terrified about how far he would go for you. There were no things he wouldn't do on your behalf—for your happiness, for your safety—only for seeing that disarming smile that lit up his centuries-worn, dark soul.

"Y/N." he whispers softly, stroking your hair. At the same time, he checks your temperature with his hand.

He frowns and presses a kiss on your forehead, cupping your cheeks with both hands. The glass is long forgotten on the nightstand as he presses his lips against your skin.

He would moan at the feeling of your silky, soft skin if you didn't have a huge fever. He found himself wishing you were warm for a completely different reason than the fever.

"Milaya, you are very sick. Drink the medicine for me, okay?" he asks gently, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs as he looks at you carefully. You're still shaking. You're not sure from what, as you silently nod, still staring at his dark eyes.

He breathes a sigh of relief when you sip the medicine from the glass he holds for you without protest. He makes sure you drink it all before he gets out of bed. You instinctively grab his hand, and his heart sinks when he sees pure fear in your eyes.

"Don't go. Don't leave me alone." you whisper, your eyes staring at him so pleadingly that what else can he do but comply with your request?

He swallows and is surprised himself at how quickly he's at your side again, this time holding you in his arms, close to his chest. The idea of bringing you a cold cloth to cover your forehead flies from his mind the moment you snuggle into him for warmth. He feels like a stupid young boy again when he realises that, in another state, you wouldn't seek his closeness. He pushes away these thoughts, trying to make you as comfortable as possible as he runs his hand through your hair and brushes away the beads of sweat from your forehead.

"You're the best nurse or healer I've ever had." you whisper. Your head on his chest, eyes closed as you float with the rhythm of the breaths he takes. And seeing you in such a vulnerable state makes something break inside him.

"I haven't done this for a long time. Look after someone. I was the one who mainly took care of my sister. Our mother didn't want anything to do with her, and neither of us knew our father... so she only had me. People looked at us askance; the kids treated her like an outcast, so she was left to play with her older brother, a teenager who had no idea how to play with or take care of a six-year-old child, and a girl at that. But there was nothing I wouldn't do to make this little one happy. To give her what I didn't have… at least in a small way. Consequently, I can weave wreaths, braid braids, and other strange hairstyles; sew clothes for dolls; and make them. I played the prince on a white horse with her more times than I could count or be willing to admit."

"Black one suits you more." you comment, making him laugh quietly. "What happened to her?" you ask, opening your eyes and shifting your gaze to him.

He sighs heavily, pausing for a moment from stroking your hair as memories come back to him. And you can see in his eyes how much pain it brings him. You remember the words he said during one of your late-night conversations, when you were up late working on your reports.

The past is a wound that cannot be healed.

"She trusted the wrong people. Now she doesn't let anyone close... not even me."

"I turst you. With my life..." You wish you could hear his thoughts the moment he freezes at your words. "We all do." you add, still conscious enough not to completely pour out your heart to him. He pulls you closer to him, continuing to run his hand through your hair and press a cool cloth to your forehead.

"Thank you, Y/N." he whispers, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

A few months ago, he would have cursed himself for letting you get so deep under his skin... Now he can't help but want more. He hates to admit it, but his mother was right.

Men are greedy creatures.

But how could he not want you more? Not to want everything you can offer him when it was you who awakened in him human feelings that he had been hiding from the world for a very long time? When could he be JUST Aleksander with you?

He checks your body temperature again by pressing his hand gently against your forehead, cheek and neck. He hums satisfied, feeling you cooler and your temperature closer to normal.

"You are cozy." you mumble as he is checking on you and you rest your head on his shoulder, hugging him tighter. There is a strange sound buzzing in your ears.

"Cozy?" he asks, amused, knowing full well that in other people's eyes he was anything but comfortable or cozy. And there you were, cuddling up to him like he was your favourite stuffed toy, feeling safe enough to fall asleep in his arms.

"Yhm..." you murmur, burying your face in his neck to sigh in his scent. "You are the best pillow in the whole world."

You hear the pounding in your head more clearly as your nose presses against his pulse point in his neck. You find this very irritating. If you were a little more aware, you would have realised that it was his heartbeat that was making it difficult for you to fall asleep. What you also don't realise is that you are using your powers on him and calming him down, causing you both to fall asleep.

The tickle on your forehead from something very soft and warm is the last thing you feel before you fall asleep. And he only had time to remove his lips from your skin before you unconsciously forced him to fall asleep, cuddled up against you.

[readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure]

An Unexpected Taste of Love: Chapter Ten

Pairing: Darkling x Female Reader

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: You are a servant at the Grand Palace, but when a threat to the Second Army’s General leads to the King assigning him a taster, you are forced into a new role that just may be the starting point for a whole new journey.    

Author’s note: I haven’t read the books but there may be a couple of small references to them that I have picked up from other sources (other fics, the grishaverse wiki, etc). Other than that, this fic is solely based on the TV show version of the Darkling.

Warnings: Near death experience, The Darkling is his own warning

Additional chapter note: Here we are, the last chapter. And I think it is the longest one yet. Thank you all so much for your support, it has really meant a lot.

———————————————————

< Chapter Nine | Masterlist

The rest of the skiff ride to Novokribirsk was eerie to say the least. The Fold had not been kind to the land it had inhabited, and everywhere you looked there was destruction and imprints of death. After passing the third derelict skiff, you decided to stop looking.

‘Do you think we’ll be able to retrieve any bodies?’ you asked Aleksander, who had come to stand beside you along with Alina and Mal.

‘I doubt the volcra left us any,’ he said, his mood sombre now that the initial celebrations had worn down.

‘We should at least look,’ said Alina.

Aleksander nodded but didn’t say anything more. In fact, no one said anything at all until Zoya announced you were approaching Novokribirsk. The destruction was less obvious now that you were closer to the city, and you felt the mood of the skiff lighten, helped by the sounds of celebrating you could already hear coming from the city.

As you got closer, you could see that the “docks” were lined with people. Some had even ventured into the sand that had once signified the start of the Fold, though they hurried back at the sight of the skiff.

You moved to the edge of the deck to get a better look at the city as the skiff came into dock. It looked much like the ones in East Ravka, but never had you imagined you would see this side of the Fold, so you still took it all in with interest.

The others followed you, and as soon as Alina came into view, a hush fell over the crowd waiting for you. Then, one by one, people started kneeling, their whispers of “Sankta Alina” reaching your ears. Not everyone kneeled, though. General Zlatan was still standing at the head of the welcoming party, looking furious.

Suddenly a shot rang out, and Alina made a pained grunt as a bullet hit her kefta. The material was bulletproof, and she did little more than stumble backwards at the impact, but the reaction to the assassination attempt was immediate. Both Mal and Aleksander all but dragged her away from the edge and out of harm’s way as the people on the ground cried out in anger.

Aleksander called your name, telling you to get down, but you ignored his warnings. They weren’t necessary. The people of Novokribirsk were already swarming on their general, who still had his gun in his hand. You couldn’t look away as he was dragged away by soldiers and civilians alike.

Aleksander appeared by your side, seemingly stunned at the peoples’ reaction.

‘I guess that’s the West Ravka situation sorted, then,’ you said. You doubted Zlatan would have many followers after that stunt.

The corners of Aleksander’s mouth twitched upwards. ‘I guess it is.’

----

To your disappointment, you only stayed in Novokribirsk for a few hours, but you understood the need to get back. The destruction of the Fold meant that new war strategies would need to be made and new trade routes were open for consideration. There was no time to waste.

And then of course there was Aleksander’s plan for the royal family. A plan that had already been set in motion, it seemed. When you arrived back at the Little Palace, it was to the news that the King had been “taken ill” and that the Healers had been unable to cure him. He had lived just long enough to hear of the Fold’s destruction and write a self-congratulatory statement about it, which the Apparat would add to the public notice of his death.

You knew that the Queen and Prince Vasily would meet the same end soon; they had already been confined to their chambers under the guise of confining the contagion. You felt a little guilty over their fates, particularly that of the prince, whose only crime was being his father’s son… but that was a guilt you were willing to live with. The royal line and their entitled oppression were the real reason Ravka was collapsing, the Fold had just made it harder to see. New blood was needed if the country was ever to thrive again, and you had no doubt that Aleksander could make that happen. Despite what he had almost done, you knew that he only had Ravka’s best interests in mind.

He would make a good king.

As you predicted, others agreed. You had barely been back at the Little Palace two minutes before the Apparat was requesting Aleksander take on the position of temporary ruler whilst Prince Vasily “recovered”. A position Aleksander graciously accepted.

Appeased, the Apparat agreed to meet him at the Grand Palace, leaving Aleksander to bark orders at the surrounding Grisha, informing them of all the things that needed to be done. After the crowd dispersed, Alina went to go find Nadia, Mal trailing after her, which left you and Aleksander alone at last.

‘I’ve had a room prepared for you,’ he said, throwing you for a second. You hadn’t been sure what you had expected him to say, but it certainly hadn’t been that.

‘Lead the way,’ you said once you had recovered your wits. You figured that this was your chance to talk about what this all meant for the future, for Ravka... and for you.

You needed to know where you stood.

Unfortunately, you seemed fated to always be left waiting for answers. As soon as you had reached the door to your new room, Genya appeared, ready to whisk Aleksander away to deal with all the important matters that needed dealing with.

Aleksander let out a weary sigh and turned to face you. ‘We’ll talk once everything has calmed down,’ he promised with an apologetic frown.

And then he was gone.

You watched as he and Genya rounded the corner, already deep in conversation, and then let your shoulders slump in disappointment. You had no idea how long it would be until everything “calmed down”, but with both his duties as general and now the King’s duties as well, he’d be very busy for the next few days at least.

After one last forlorn look down the hall Aleksander had left from, you turned and entered your new room.

You immediately stopped short. Your new room was one of the more luxurious guest rooms, usually reserved only for visitors of money and status.

Exploring a little, you discovered that you had your own bathtub and even a whole new wardrobe. Your own belongings, such as they were, had also been brought there and were sitting on the very big and comfortable looking bed.

Now you were even more uncertain of your future. This was definitely not the room of a servant.

----

You were right about waiting to be able to properly talk to Aleksander, but surprisingly, you still got to see him. The day after returning to the Little Palace, government officials from West Ravka arrived to discuss uniting the country and making use of the land the Fold had previously made off-limits.

Apparently, this was a discussion Aleksander wanted your opinion on. And not just a private opinion; not long after lunch, Ivan showed up at your door, summoning you to join the official meeting.

At first you thought he meant you were needed for your usual tasting duties – you knew Alina was at the meeting – but when you went to fetch your white servant uniform, Ivan practically ripped it from your hands.

‘The General has requested you wear your kefta.’

You could tell by his disgruntled expression that he still did not think you were worthy of Aleksander’s attentions, but you had become quite used to ignoring Ivan at this point. He hadn’t outright insulted you since the day Alina had started her training, so you figured you could live with his near permanent scowl.

After getting dressed into something that you hoped would be suitable for a government meeting, you donned your kefta and followed Ivan to the Grand Palace.

The meeting was already well underway by the time you got there, and it barely even paused at your arrival. The only acknowledgement you got was a nod each from Alina and Mal, and a small but welcoming smile from Aleksander.

For a while, you merely listened to everyone else, wanting to get a feel for the conversation before contributing to it. When you finally did contribute, your suggestions were met with the same respect as all the others had been, and it hit you that none of the other officials in the room knew who you were. Even the ones from East Ravka didn’t recognise you as a servant.

You were more than happy for them to remain ignorant of that fact, lest they suddenly changed their minds about your ideas.

----

Requests for your opinion and advice didn’t stop after that first meeting, and in the coming days, you found yourself in a sort of unofficial consultant role. It was not a role you had ever imagined for yourself, but you found you quite liked it. It put all your years of reading to good use and gave you the opportunity to get out of the palace and see what problems Ravka was facing firsthand. You were way out of your depth with war strategies, so you kept to domestic issues, using your commoner status to get a reliable opinion on the struggles of the less privileged.

For the time being, it was all just research for policies to put forward later. The war had already turned in Ravka’s favour, but it had yet to be won, which meant that it was still getting priority.

You hoped that wouldn’t be the case for too much longer.

----

Six days after the King’s death, news broke that Queen Tatiana and Prince Vasily had succumbed to the same illness, and with no one left to take the throne by birthright, the people of Ravka started voicing their own opinions on who their next ruler should be. As you predicted, Aleksander’s name was one that was being shouted the loudest, second only to Alina’s.

Naturally, there were some who were against him, whether it be out of fear, mistrust, or just plain prejudice, but they seemed to be in minority.

You were confident that Aleksander would be the new Tsar of Ravka by the week’s end.

----

The coronation was a simple affair. The war was on the brink of ending, and despite becoming Tsar, Aleksander refused to abandon his duties as general. He was not one to sit on a throne and do nothing while his people were dying - a stance that earned him much favour with said people.

You smiled proudly as you watched the ceremony from the sidelines. And when the crown was finally placed on Aleksander’s head, you were the first to kneel. Your eyes caught his as you lifted your head a little, and you smiled wider.

After the ceremony, Aleksander was surrounded by lords who wished to offer their congratulations and do some ass-kissing to ensure they kept their titles, so after a few minutes of standing around awkwardly, you decided to return to your rooms. You were unsurprised to find that the Little Palace was in full celebration, and you had to dodge more than one person with an unsteady drink in their hand.

You didn’t mind, though. It was nice to see everyone so joyful. You considered joining in the celebrations – you could see Sonja in the corner, so there was at least one person who would make you feel welcome – but it seemed that the emotional turmoil of the last couple of weeks had finally caught up with you, and you just wanted to be alone with your thoughts.

Now that Aleksander was king, all the questions you had been ignoring seemed to rise to the surface all at once, almost drowning you. Questions about the future and just what you meant to Aleksander raced through your mind at rapid pace. He had said that he had wanted to start something with you after your kiss, but did he still feel the same? Or had he moved on in the months since?

He and Alina had been spending a lot of time together again. And sure, you knew it was because she was helping with the war efforts, refusing to be a pawn any longer, but it still reminded you of watching their courtship. Aleksander had claimed it had all been a manipulation, but you weren’t so sure there weren’t real feelings there too. He and Alina were both strong and powerful Grisha who would not wither and age. You wouldn’t be surprised if they reconciled and grew even closer than before.

Like called to like, after all.

Perhaps it would be best, you thought, self-pityingly. Alina was already a fine saint; no doubt she would make a fine queen as well. And while you didn’t seem to be a servant anymore, you were still a commoner. Your chances of a happy ending had already been slim when Aleksander was merely a general; now that he was Tsar, they were next to none.

You were so lost in thought that you almost walked straight past your room, and you had to do a quick double-back. Maybe a nice bath would make you feel better, you thought as you opened your door. You had been given some lavender oils that were sure to help clear your head.

That pleasant thought vanished in an instant.

Your room wasn’t stripped bare, the furnishings that were there when you moved in were still present, but it had a look of obvious vacancy, as if you hadn’t spent the last week or two living in it. The bed was freshly made, and your various knickknacks and clothes were no longer where you left them. A quick sweep of the wardrobe and drawers confirmed that all your belongings were in fact gone.

Where were they? Had you been robbed?

Panic had just started to set in when Mina walked into the room, stopping short at the sight of you.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, genuinely confused, which just confused you in turn.

‘This is my room,’ you said, trying not to get teary eyed. You hadn’t collected many belongings over the years, but the ones you did have were cherished. ‘Mina, where are my things?’

‘In your new room,’ she said, still looking at you oddly. ‘The General- Sorry, the King said that your things were to be moved to the Grand Palace. Did he not tell you?’

You shook your head, wiping your eyes and feeling silly. Of course you hadn’t been robbed. What kind of robbers made the bed?

‘I didn’t get a chance to talk to him at the coronation,’ you said. ‘He must have been going to tell me then.’

Mina hummed in agreement. ‘Well, come on. I’d better show you to your new room.’

You smiled gratefully and followed her out. She was silent as you walked, which you appreciated. You couldn’t shake the fear that she was leading you back to your old room in the Grand Palace’s servants’ quarters, back to your old life.

No, you told yourself. Aleksander wouldn’t send you back just as you were getting a taste of what you could be. It just wouldn’t make sense for you to stay at the Little Palace now that he would be in the Grand Palace, that was all. You weren’t part of the Second Army, despite the kefta you wore. You were an advisor… kind of. And they always resided in the Grand Palace.

That had to be it. Right?

When you got to the Grand Palace, Mina led you in the opposite direction to the servant’s quarters, and you breathed a sigh of relief. You hadn’t totally convinced yourself with your internal peptalk.

No peptalk could have prepared you for the room she did lead you to, however. You stared at the door, mouth open, before turning to Mina.

‘But this is the Queen’s old room,’ you said. Sure, she had been in the ground a few days now and so the room was technically free to be used… but you knew for a fact that it was one of the best rooms in the whole palace. And you knew that it had an adjoining door to the King’s rooms.

Surely there must have been a mistake.

Mina merely smirked, and you got the impression there was something you were missing. ‘Now it’s yours,’ she said.

With a nod of the head from Mina, you took a deep breath and opened the door. The room was even better than you remembered. You had been inside a few times over the years to help the Queen with various things, and you had always hated her choice in décor… but now it was like all the things you had disliked had been stripped away and replaced with something more to your own tastes. The bed sheets and curtains were all of dark silky material – not a frill in sight – and deep mahogany bookshelves lined the walls, already half filled.

It reminded you a bit of Aleksander’s rooms at the Little Palace, to be honest.

You spotted your own small book collection on the shelf nearest to the wardrobe, and you rushed over to check they were all there. You didn’t even hear Mina leave. Nor did you hear the door open and close as someone else came in.

Satisfied none of your books were missing, you opened the wardrobe warily. You almost gasped at what was inside. One side contained the clothes from your old wardrobe at the Little Palace, but the other side was full of dresses that you could never imagine yourself getting a chance to wear. You knew there would probably be balls and galas and whatnot held at the palace from time to time, but you had never seen any of King Pyotr’s advisors wear anything so extravagant. These were more suited for a-

‘Do you like them?’

The voice coming from behind you, though familiar, made you startle, and you dropped the hem of the satiny black and silver dress you had been admiring. It only took a second for you to calm yourself, however, and you turned to face your guest.

‘Moi tsar,’ you said with a deep bow and a wide smile.

Aleksander smiled too, obviously proud of himself. ‘Well?’ he asked, nodding to the dresses behind you.

You looked over your shoulder at them, biting your lip. ‘They’re beautiful,’ you said. ‘But you shouldn’t have. I don’t need’– you gestured to the room around you –‘all this.’

‘But I wanted to give it you,’ said Aleksander simply as he started walking around the room as if inspecting it. ‘Though I did intend to give you a little more warning. Mina said it gave you a bit of a shock.’

‘It did.’ You weren’t going to deny it. ‘But I know you didn’t mean to blindside me with it. I shouldn’t have left the coronation so early.’

‘Why did you leave?’

You shrugged. ‘It started to feel a little awkward and I didn’t think you would miss me. If I’d known you wanted to talk to me, I would have stayed. I’m sorry.’

Aleksander gave you a peculiar look before shaking his head and walking back to you. ‘I’m the one who should be sorry. And I think we are long overdue for that talk.’

You nodded, your throat suddenly too dry to speak. You had been waiting for this moment for days – weeks, even – but now that it was here, you found yourself incredibly nervous. What if you didn’t like what he had to say?

‘I suppose I should start off by apologising,’ said Aleksander. You stayed silent, letting him speak. ‘When I came back with Alina, I didn’t want to hurt you, but I couldn’t risk distancing myself from her in any way. Her trusting me, relying on me… it was crucial to my plan.’

‘So you distanced me instead.’

Aleksander turned his head away and nodded, looking shameful. ‘I had hoped you’d forgive me. Once everything was over.’

The fact that your first thought was that you would always forgive him just proved how deep you were in with him. Love was indeed blind, it seemed.

‘What about now?’ you asked. While the past still hurt, you were more interested in your future.

He looked back to you, eyes earnest. ‘I still want your forgiveness.’

You shook your head. ‘No, I know that. You wouldn’t have changed your plans otherwise. I meant what else do you want from me now?’

‘You’ve forgiven me?’ he asked. He hid it well, but you could hear the hope in his voice.

You smiled softly. ‘I never really blamed you. Not for choosing Alina over me, anyway. And everything I would have had trouble accepting, you never went through with. But if you really need to hear it, then yes, I forgive you.’

For a few moments, he stared at you, not saying anything. You had just enough time to start worrying about what was going through his mind when he snapped out of it.

‘Be my queen,’ he said suddenly.

This time it was your turn to stare in silence.

‘What?’ you asked once you had found your voice again. Surely you had heard wrong.

‘Be my queen,’ he repeated, this time more deliberate. He stepped forward and took your hands in his. ‘Rule by my side. Grisha and Otkazat'sya together. We can show the world that we are not so different, just like you said.’

Your shoulders dropped at his explanation, and you reluctantly untangled your hands from his. You wanted to be able to stand by his side more than anything, but you couldn’t do it if it was just for appearances sake. You doubted your heart could take it.

‘I don’t want to be your queen,’ you said, softly. ‘I want to be your everything. So, if you’re only asking for political favour, you’ll have to find someone else to play house with.’ You made to take a step backwards, but suddenly Aleksander’s hands were cupping your cheeks, pulling you to him. The kiss was all-consuming, desperate, and you couldn’t help but return it, clutching at his arms as if they were a lifeline.

‘You already are my everything,’ he whispered when he pulled back enough to look you in the eyes. His thumb brushed a stray tear that had dropped to your cheek. ‘Pretending otherwise these past few months has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my very long life. I hated every second of it, and I hated that you had to witness it.’

‘That’s why you told the King you didn’t need me,’ you said in the same soft whisper. ‘To send me away.’

He nodded and sighed as he leant his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. ‘I thought you’d be better off away from me. At least until I was ready to tell you everything. I thought he’d send you back to the Grand Palace where you could move on with your life.’

You let out a breath of humourless laughter. ‘I don’t think there was going to be any moving on. You made quite an impression.’

‘So did you.’

You could feel more tears pricking at your eyes as you finally let yourself believe what he was saying. He still wanted you, still cared about you. He had never stopped.

Aleksander pulled his head away from yours, just a little, seemingly reluctant to let you go. He skimmed his hands down your arms and entwined your fingers with his once more. ‘Be my queen,’ he requested again. ‘If you don’t want a crown, we don’t have to make it official. We don’t even have to tell anyone. Just… be mine.’

Your answer was another impassioned kiss, and you felt Aleksander smile against your lips. ‘Is that a yes?’ he asked once you had managed to pull yourself away from each other again.

You nodded. ‘I’ve always been yours.’

You didn’t think you’d ever seen Aleksander look so happy. ‘And the crown?’ he asked. ‘Do you want that, too?’

You took a moment to think about it. You couldn’t deny that the thought was terrifying, but with Aleksander by your side, you were sure you could handle anything.

‘I am yours,’ you repeated before a wide smile slowly spread across your face. ‘Now let’s show the world that you are mine.’

Aleksander was all too happy to oblige.

[caprica99]

Shadow and Bone rant, because I need it

Shadow and Bone has some incredible potential, both the books and the show, but neither actually lives up to it.

Alina could have been interesting. Cartographer is a rare profession for fictional characters, but in the books/show she's just a beginner (at 17/20 it's understandable). Make her at least 25 with 9 years of experience in the army, give her a promotion with subordinates she's responsible for and you would get a more interesting character who saw some serious shit in the army, acts like a soldier, and knows responsibility. (And maybe wants to stop the war at all cost, utilizing the Fold maybe.*wink, wink*)

It bothered me that we never saw her using cartography this profession that makes her unique for reaching her goals. In the show, she has dreams about the stag. It would have been interesting to see HER figuring out the whereabouts of the stag by using the stag's surroundings like mountains, specific types of trees, topography, etc. Work smarter, not harder.

Diana Bishop suffers from the same passiveness in the first book of the All Souls trilogy, but she actively uses her science historian background and those passages are the most interesting parts of her POV. Alina's interest in drawing and geography would give her a unique personality, and made her relatable to many (see ADoW and history nerds). Many YA heroines have a specific and useful skillset: Katniss-archery, Clary Fray-drawing, etc. Sadly, her entire personality is running away with Mal.

Mal's character feels pointless to me. The story depicts an oppressed minority group with special powers, and their struggles in the world, the heroine and the antagonist are both part of the said minority group, and he's constantly shown to be a bigot against the Grisha, so what makes him so important to the plot? His tracking skills? Give the job to a no-name tracker and I wouldn't miss him.

At least the show made him more likable, but Archie and Jessie still lack romantic chemistry. However his chemistry with his friends Mikhail and Dubrov was spot on, I really liked it. They showed life as a simple otkazat'sya soldier on the front, and their death was painful to watch. I thought that his friend's death would make a bigger impact on Mal, him wanting to get revenge on the fjerdans and end the war at all cost, and saying that maybe Kirigan's plan actually makes sense would make an interesting narrative. (They are at war dammit, there's no black and white only grey.)

Mal and Alina don't act like soldiers in a war-torn country, they act like American teenagers, and it's annoying. The General and Ivan are the only ones who act as soldiers in a 3 front war. When the villain shows the most responsibility in your story you should rewrite your heroes completely, or make the villain your hero.

The show is better than the books. It's a rare phenomenon but it is something everyone agrees upon. To me, the first book reads like a draft the author forgot to expand. The worldbuilding, the Grisha, and the characters were a perfect base to an original fantasy universe, but it all falls flat. The show made it richer by introducing multiple POVs and giving the actors more leeway (Ben Barnes ladies and gentlemen). But in the end, they had to stick to the books.

This is incredibly confusing to me because we have numerous fanfictions about Alina staying at the Little Palace, embracing her Grisha side, helping the Darkling because his plan makes sense, or changing his plan by coming up with a better one, or having dark!Alina etc... Clearly, this is what book fans wanted: giving Alina agency, make her realize that she had to work with the Darkling because she's Grisha too and they have the same goals but have different methods, let her be Professor X to Alexander's Magneto, ending the corrupt and incompetent Lantsov line, anything would have been better than taking Baghra's words at face value and running off.

Change I like: the whole West-Ravka storyline, it made the General decision understandable. Zlatan sold Grisha to the fjerdans, wanted to kill Alina and his actions could have led to a civil war, Kirigan only acted as a general of his time (not 21 century guys, we are talking about the unforgiving 19 century) and besides we only see the destruction of Zlatans army (BTW they were ready to kill everyone on the skiff) and not the whole city.

Change I don't like: making Alina half Shu. I'm not completely against it, but it was poorly executed. The racism Alina faces overshadows the Grisha-hate, rather than complementing it. Alina acts like being half Shu is somehow worse than being Grisha, eventough there are literal Holocausts going on against Grisha in two neighbouring countries, slavery in another, and the show never addresses it. This is the biggest problem with her character, she never embraces being Grisha, sides with the muggles, and makes her mission to kill the only person who stands between Grisha and persecution.

Would have been good: the show could have made little 5 minute scenes depicting the plight of Grisha in other countries. Either at the beginning or the end of every episode.

Episode 2: the Ice Court

Episode 3: the Shu concentration camps with the experimenting

Episode 4: slavery in Kerch

Episode 5: the Wandering Isle with consuming grisha blood

Episode 6: the Demon in the Woods storyline

Episode 7: Luda+Aleksander

And now... The Darkling/ Aleksander Morozov/ General Kirigan: the most interesting character in the entire series.

In the first half of SaB he was depicted as every soldier's dream general. Sitting and eating with his men, fighting side by side with them, constantly checking on his troops while other generals prefer to attend court. But in the second half, he transforms into a Mustache Twirling Villain TM and makes rather OOC decisions throughout the trilogy. He could have been a generic villain from the start, but why make him then a compelling character with understandable motivations?

In the books, I understood his motivations, but in the show, he was completely right. His backstory shows that he tried peaceful tactics but those never worked out. The only thing that worked against his enemies was power and violence. The price of hesitance was Luda's life (I'm willing to bet they were married). The Fold was actually a mistake born from desperation. He spent centuries in hiding, seeing his people persecuted. Even with the Little Palace and the Second Army Grisha are considered second-class citizens, they can't hold properties. He has to walk the fine line between usefulness and being a threat. He has to bow to incompetent Kings who don't give a shit about the state of the country. If Alina had to go through so much how would she end up? Because it's a miracle that Aleksander still has it in him to fight for the Grisha.

Many bring up Nikolai Lantsov as the Darklings foil ( or Diet Darkling as @ambitious-witch calls him) to show there is an alternative to Aleksander, but it's wrong. Because Nikolai was never part of an oppressed minority group, never had to fear centuries of persecution, he's an actual prince, it's easy to not be radicalized with his background.

Bonus: If Bardugo wanted to create a fictional world with tsarist Russia as a base, the least she could have done is to open a Wikipedia page or a dictionary for the correct names and terms. Starkov is a man's name: Alina Starkova is the correct form. Ilya Morozov, Aleksander Morozov, and Baghra Morozova would be the correct forms.

EDIT: They could have shown the building of the Little Palace and the start of the Second Army. I wanted to see the normal life at the Little Palace before Alina came along, little Grisha enjoying their powers, their reaction if the Darkling comes to see their training (I headcanon he visits the lessons at least once a year), the other teachers, and their reaction to Alina. Alina in canon is good with kids, maybe if she had spent time with little Grisha, she could have embraced her powers sooner. Having met with foreigners (Fjerdan, or Shu) and hearing their gruesome accounts of the foreign treatment of the Grisha would made her willing to fight for their future.

[shawty-writes-a-little]

Leave

One shot

Request: ( @aleksanderwh0r3 ) hi!! okay so i have an idea/request: so the reader was in a relationship with the darkling until Alina comes and she keeps getting brushed off and the reader gets fed up and decides to leave the little palace and requests she gets stationed near kribrisk or like she goes to ketterdam (what ever you want lol) and Kirigan finds the letter and realizes what he lost it’s gonna be an angsty fic lol

Word count: 4k+ 💀

Darkling x reader

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST (fluff in the end)

Note: Ok so I write on my phone because I’m not allowed my laptop except for school so ignore typos, English isn’t my first language and I havent read the books so yeah it’s a tragedy and I am the cringest person alive

—

It had been weeks since Alina arrived at the little palace. The infamous sun summoner. Everyone was in awe to her powers, some more than others. The general. It was impossible to even believe that a living sun summoner was present right there, someone who was just a myth. Someone who was just thought of in day dreams of a better future. Y/n herself had a great amount of admiration for Alina. She was the one who warmed her up to the little palace, new surroundings, new people. Alina wasn’t just the sun summoner to her but they had become great friends in less than no time.

The general’s feelings towards Alina seemed obscure. Well to y/n it did. They were couple, him and y/n. They had been one for two years ever since y/n came to the little place after running away from home. Y/n found her home in alecksandar. He was the closest thing she ever felt to comfort or someone she could rely on. Y/n fell first and Alecksandar fell harder. He too felt different around y/n. After all those years of being the general he felt the Alecksandar inside of him when he was around her. Not a day would go by he wouldn’t think of her as people think of the moon. He simply just adored her that much. So did y/n. They would playfully argue on that quite a lot.

But recently things had changed, he would come late to their shared chambers at night and leave early before y/n woke up. They wouldn’t even get time to spend together or talk moreover he wouldn’t make time to spend with her. Y/n didnt mind that, for a few times at least. She has always been understanding of him that’s one of the things he loved about her. But that didn’t mean she didn’t have doubts herself. For the first few weeks y/n found Alina’s company truly joyful. They had some great laughs together she got to know about Alina’s life, where she grew up, how she grew up, her friend Mal she had a lot of stories about. Y/n told her she wished that one day Alina would tell mal stories about her and y/n.

But it was all the calm before the chaos. Soon Alecksandar started accompanying Alina. He told y/n not to tag along with them when he was with Alina which she found really strange but trusted Alecksandar and not for once her mind even had any different thoughts. Which was until these things became a routine. Alecksandar would take Alina riding, spend nights with her chatting, take her to their spot. He barely even acknowledged y/n’s existence. When they were alone for once which wasn’t even what alecksandar planned y/n knew his schedule and barged into the war room during evening to talk to him about how she felt.

“Are you for real y/n? How can you possibly imply that?” He replied to her with an annoyed huff when y/n brought it up.

“I’m not implying anything Alecksandar I’m just simply saying if you were to spend some time with me or at least let me in on what you’re on about with Alina.” Y/n said with a calm tone.

“Oh my extreme apologies—if you can’t already tell I’ve been busy y/n. I’ve a sun summoner on my hands-don’t you think it would rather help if you ought to be supportive?” Alecksandar said with a flat voice and an unironic apology. Y/n felt un heard but she didn’t mean to take the matter further clearly he wasn’t in the mood to listen. This happened several times all of the times he brushed it off sometimes making it clear he’s annoyed with it. Each time y/n would tell herself she still trusts him, he’s the general, he’s busy. But she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep lying to herself or how she actually felt and trying telling that to Alecksandar would only make it worse each time.

There wasn’t much she could take as every moment felt like being stabbed constantly and having to act it didn’t affect her. See him laughing with Alina, empty bedside every night, lonely dinners it’s too much until someone reaches their point. Y/n had reached hers. Alecksandar didn’t seem to care she was present or not. Y/n couldn’t bare that everyday she wanted to leave. Get away. As fas as she can-away from Os altas, little palace, him. All she ever wanted was to be accepted she was a joyful soul who never loathed anything-she used to live and love in superlatives despite spending most of her life feeling like a burden because she was a grisha, her family never approved of her, the small town she grew up in saw her has a disease who could make the other kids like her she was banned from going to school with the others. Her family too saw her as a disappointment for something that wasn’t even under her own control. She taught herself to read and write. Left home at a young age and never looked back. With extreme hustles she got to the little palace and never once felt alone. Training with everyone like herself, not looked down to when she walked in the halls and of course alecksandar. Well up until now. Her spirit was crushed, she was the young y/n back home who was neglected constantly until it reached to an extent to make her run away. Leave. That’s what she felt like doing again.She didn’t mean be loud about it or too sneaky either. She decided to write a note to Alecksandar...like she did the night she ran from her home.

With tear filled in her eyes she wrote...

Alecksandar, you’ve been the light of my

life ever since I left home. Every happy

memory I’ve had and want to hold onto is

the ones I have with you. But I can’t go

back to living a life of being cold

shouldered again. Hope Alina brings you

the happiness I never could.

—wishing you all the fortune

in the wars to come. Y/n.

She folded that note and placed it on the bed. With one last glance back their room she walked away, from their room, the palace but most importantly him.

It took a whole day for alecksandar to realise y/n’s absence. She wasn’t seen at the corridors the whole day nobody spoke about her to him either. Finally in the evening he went to the chambers to find nothing but a not on the bed. Strange. He thought. He read her note. Again and again trying to make sense of the words as he was utterly shocked to believe what he read was true. Was she really gone? Did she just leave like that, leave him? He sat on the edge of the bed trying to maintain his balance as he let that sink in. After a while he was rather annoyed and furious than glum. How could she leave over something that small?

After a week of searching and tracking Ivan found where y/n had been. The whole time alecksandar was worried as well as pissed over the face that y/n bolted away from little palace.

“Miss y/n was found in kribrisk.” Ivan told him in late evening.

“Kribrisk? What’s she doing that far away?”

He asked confused.

“We don’t know sir.”

“Alright then-we ride of kribrisk forthwith.” He said getting up as Ivan left to prepare a wagon for their ride.

—

The whole ride Alecksandar’s kept thinking about what he’d say, what he’d ask. In his silent self consideration he didn’t realise when they reached.

“Miss y/n is to be two storeys up.” Ivan said stepping out right beside him pointing to the floors of a building at the edge of a bustling alley, which is now silent given it is almost midnight.

“You stay here.” Alecksandar ordered as he walked into the building, climbing the damp flight of stairs to y/n’s floor.

Reaching outside of her he took a deep breath and gave two gentle knocks on the door.

Y/n was still awake. Wide awake in fact. She was alarmed hearing a knock on the door at this hour of the night. She wasn’t sure who could it be? Wether to open or not? Before she could decide that there was another knock. She stood up fixing her night gown and swiftly grabbed a knife out of the apple placed on the table. She held the knife cautiously pointed towards the door before opening it.

Y/n was shocked seeing alecksandar after opening the door she forgot to put down the knife that still pointed to him.

“Alecksandar?” She asked with a confused expression still with the knife in the air pointed to him.

He placed the tip of his finger on the knife softly moving it below, with a slight huff to her attempt of tackling someone with a knife. “Y/n.” He greeted with an awkward nod stepping inside while y/n was still in disbelief why he’d visited. She turned back to put the knife back on the table mostly to not face him.

“A kitchen knife? Really-“ alecksandar chuckled slightly “You do realise that you can light whoever might’ve been behind that door on fire if you wanted to right?” He continued jokingly.

Y/n didn’t seem to appreciate that joke. Neither his presence. “I was sleeping-“

“You don’t look like you were.” He interrupted her in a light voice as though nothing happened between them.

“What do you want? Why are you here?” Y/n said with an irritated expression wanting to get him to leave soon enough.

“I’m wounded.” Alecksandar replied still not in a serious manner.

“Have you come to gloat in the dead of the night?” She responded unafraid of provoking him.

“I’ve come to take you back y/n.” He spoke glancing around the place she had been living in. Y/n’s books all over the place, messy bed with the sheets showing he must’ve been twisting and turning while sleeping, her unfolded clothes forming a pile on the edge of the room, unfinished sketches spread across the table. Back at little palace their shared chambers were just like that when she was with him. Things weren’t the same without her he missed that, her. The room felt three times empty without her.

“I’m not coming back-I don’t want to.” This time y/n was unsure about his reaction, she turned her back on him pretending to go through a random book placed in front of her just to avoid him.

“What do you mean you’re not coming back?” he paused taking a deep sigh causing y/n to be more afraid not to face him. “What are you going to do here?”

“Whatever does it matter.” she responded in a calm tone.

He tried his best not to raise his voice “Do not face away from me-look at me and reply and yes it does matter to me.”

She turned back facing him “Why? Because I’m one of the general’s grishas?”

“It’s more than that-you know it’s more than that.” He said putting emphasis on you.

“Not anymore it’s not, didn’t you read the note I left you?” her heart ached saying those words as she tried her best not to make her voice sound protesting or weak either.

“All—all this because I didn't have the time to entertain your insecurities.” He chuckled dryly running his fingers through his hair out of annoyance.

“Entrain my insecurities?” Y/n paused “Name the last time we had dinner together-no—name the last time we had a conversation that didn’t involve war strategies or Alina.”

“All of the times you’ve had even the slightest doubt about me and Alina because I’ve been busy I reassured you! But you-you are the one who left without saying anything.”

“I was the one who left? Me alecksandar? Every time I came to you talk you just swayed me away into believing that was I was a jealous-obsessive fool—But no-I was the only one trying in our relationship until you made me reach to an extent where I gave up the hopes of finding back the Alecksandar lost inside of the general.” She tried holding back tears as her voice got high pitched.

“If you could just once-stop acting ridiculously and think with your head!” He said furiously slamming his hands on the edge of the table.

Y/n flinched at the sudden loudness in his voice and a thud, making it vulnerable for her to keep arguing without bursting into tears. “D-do not raise your voice at me.” She said softly looking into nothingness on the floor not meeting his eyes.

Sighing heavily he began “Now if you’re done with this charade-can we leave for os alta?”

“I told you I’m not coming back. I won’t.” She wanted to sound firm though her sentence came out like a whisper not so unafraid of his reaction now.

“Y/n—“ he began with a rough tone before she interrupted her.

“No-I can’t—go back to watching you laugh with her each day, garden walks, rides with her, taking her to our spot—whats it going to stop at? I can’t bring myself back into that misery that I ran away from years ago.”

Alecksandar fell silent. He didn’t want to meet her gaze. He gulped in at another silent moment still unable to bring himself to respond to her.

“What?” Y/n asked confused given his reaction 2 minutes ago he’s strangely quite now.

“While you were gone-w-we kissed.” His voice came out strained. Y/n stood in disbelief blinking at him unsure what to feel. She had already let go off him was she supposed to feel sad? Was she supposed to feel angry that they had kissed while she wasn’t even gone a fortnight. “She kissed me, I pulled away—it wasn’t her fault truly-“

he continued in a calm voice though every atom in his body didnt want him to let y/n know of that but his consciousness got the best of him.

“Of course it isn’t her fault!” She cut him off not holding back tears, she didn’t even have control over them anymore. “Sh-shes just as naive as I am!” Y/n said in between sobs softening his look towards her.

“Y/n-“ he began taking a step towards her. “It’s di—“

Y/n took a step backwards shaking her head as tears rushed down her eyes. “Don’t”

“It doesn’t have to be like this.” He said softly as a single drop of tear started forming into his eye.

“Well it is.”

“I realised what I’d lost when I was with her.” he cupped her cheeks trying to get her to look into at him. “I pulled away-I didn’t want that.”

“I don’t know if I can believe anything you say anymore.” Y/n said shakily.

Alecksandar was yet again silent just looking at her watching his hopes of winning her back flow away. Y/n gently placed her hands on top of his swaying it away from her face and looked up at him with teary eyes.

Alecksandar replied with an awkward shake of head. Before he could say anything y/n spoke up “Leave.”

He was shocked to hear that but he didn’t show it, he was aware it would come to this. But it hurt because he didn’t want it to come to this, he didn’t want to leave. Leave her. But he managed to hide his grief on it. He nodded with this eyes flickering everywhere in the room. “If that’s what you want.” Alecksandar said in a hushed tone.

Y/n simply stood there expression less, putting an act that his actions no longer affect her when her heart had broken into a million pieces by now.

He turned away quick and left not looking back. Y/n closed the door behind him as soon as he left and turned back to look at her room feeling every emotion at once. Her room was empty. Once again.

—

Ivan was confused seeing the general come back alone but his good instincts chose not to ask him about it judging from his body language.

On his way back he kept thinking about everything y/n said, everything he said, everything happened. His thoughts kept circling around how it was over like that, y/n still meant so much to him but he shattered their perfect snow globe of a relationship. Alecksandar blamed y/n for leaving till now, he found her heartless when he got to know that she had left as though she didn’t care about him that she’d overreacted over a misconception. But now he was certain about the mistakes, his mistakes.

He ran his hand through the pocket of his Kefta taking out the letter she had left him. He remembered the letter distinctly. He had read it several times he knew every word yet he wanted to read it again. The last thing from y/n, probably the last thing ever.

He read her letter again he felt every word this time, what mind-state she would’ve written it in.

Alecksandar, you’ve been the light of my

life ever since I left home. Every happy

memory I’ve had and want to hold onto is

the ones I have with you. But I can’t go

back to living a life of being cold shoul-

again. I hope Alina brings you the

happiness I never could.

Cursing himself silently blaming himself for being the one who put her there in the first place. He was stuck after the word “again” what point of her life was she referring to going back to again? His thoughts spiralled trying to figure out what she meant there. Then it struck him. She meant before arriving to little palace. Y/n had told him about her childhood, the town she grew up in, her family who never considered her as one of their own for something she had no control over. He knew that. He knew he was the only one she had ever called her own. He knew she wouldn’t have expected to be neglected from him. Anyone but him. Y/n never opened up about her past much, she wouldn’t bring it up anytime either trying to escape from it. And she had escaped from it. Alecksandar had been her escape her “home” and he was aware of that.

Thinking back to it, he hadn’t just teared their relationship he had smashed her hopes being loved after leaving home. He had to make it right. He couldn’t just leave y/n to blame herself until she’d heal of what he put her through, he cared more than that. “Turn around.” He spoke firmly to the wagon-driver. The driver was confused they were barely by the outskirts yet. “We’re going back, turn around.” His voice was louder and more eager this time. Ivan gave a nudge to the driver to turn around without sparring a moment knowing the general’s temper.

—

This time Ivan didn’t even gesture to go with him, knowing his answer already and Alecksandar was fast enough to get out of the wagon rushing up the flight of stair even before Ivan could do so.

Reaching to y/n’s floor felt like an eternity to alecksandar. Finally getting there his head of filled with ways he would apologise. He had knocked several time by then. No reply. He could see the dim lights of a rusted bulb hanging from the damp ceiling were still on, on his way up. Figuring y/n didn’t go back to sleep. “Y/n?” He said softly through the locked door. Y/n didn't reply yet again. “Y/n?” he knocked on the door again.

“Go away” a silent voice almost as of a weeping animal came from the other side of the door.

“Y/n i-it’s me, open the door please.” he responded knowing y/n was right behind the door since when she responded her voice seemed to be close.

Y/n hadn’t moved her position ever since alecksandar left. She was crying, sitting on the floor leaning to the door with her hands hugging her knees. It took her a moment to reply through her sobs. “I—told you to go away!” She said frustrated breaking down into tears again.

“I know-I know—just open up once..please Y/n.”

Y/n stood up this time to open the door. She didn’t want to, but she meant to get over with this facade soon. She brushed the tears off her face only to open the door and see his face again resulting in fresh tears dropping uncontrollably.

He was pleased to see her. Same didn't go for her. Looking at y/n crying made him want to throw her arms around her and keep them there until she stopped. And he did. He stepped forward opening his arms as y/n protested for him to stay back. He hovered his hands around her as she kept making useless attempts of punching his chest to push him away.

“Y/n-y/n-little dove-y/n-shh-“ he cooed her name gripping her hands trying to calm her.

She didn’t look at him, didnt want to look at him. She broke into more tears without saying anything and this time he pulled her in close towards him. Closing his eyes for a moment as it felt nice to be around her again. He felt nice to be around her. Y/n didnt hug him back, couldn’t moreover as his large biceps didn’t let her make her way through his back. She gripped to his kefta by his chest giving up on pushing him away as much as she wanted to she couldn’t. With her cries being muffled as she buried her face in the hug he rubbed his hands through the back trying to calm her. Alecksandar wanted this to last forever. He didn’t even want to think about pulling away from her.

Finally y/n made an attempt to break the hug. She wasn’t sure what to say? Why he had come? Before she’d say anything he gripped her wrists gently taking her to the chair in the corner by the table side. He sat her there without saying a word.

Y/n was confused she looked up at him to find him on his knees close enough that his face was almost by her lap. Alecksandar brushed off the last of her tears. Still in silence.

Y/n sniffled drifting away his hand from her face. “Why are you back?”

“For you.” He said without hesitation.

“I would really like for you to not play any games right now.” Y/n said with a dry huff.

“I’m not playing any games with you.” He took her hands in his and looked into her bloodshot eyes “I’ve been horrible to you-and when I came here I was just the same thinking you’re the one in fault, I was upset the days your were gone—“

“Yeah you looked like it.” She interrupted.

“Ah-“ he chuckled slickly. “I deserved that. But when we were headed back I kept thinking about you, I never wanted things to come to this I truly didn’t. Y/n like you said in your letter, you are the light of my life-only you could say such a thing about the shadow summoner. These last few weeks I’ve been the worst to you and I realise that-I’ve felt that all the days you were gone. Our chamber still has so many of your things yet it feels the emptiest one in the whole palace. I—I feel empty, you’re not in it. I don’t want that not one another day-i dont want to wake up and not see you smile, see you laugh at your own silly jokes, tell me about the book you’re reading without sparing any details-it’s been the seventh hell without you. After everything I’ve done you’ve never once held anything against me. I know what you’ve been through and after all that I put you through that I feel terrible about that-Just come back-I will make it up to you, you have my word I will make it up to you—and I understand if you choose not to but I love you y/n, ever since the day I saw you—I coul—“

Y/n leaned in and placed her lips on top of his. He smiled widely into the kiss shortly before kissing her back raising above his knees to look at her.

“I take that as you’re coming back?” He asked in a calm voice.

“Yes! And about earlier I love you too my love.”

Alecksandar grinned widely before kissing her again.

_________

AAAAA HII sorry this took me so look I was procrastinating please lmk in the comments if you like it :))))

Note 2.0- Btw I feel like I write too much angst for someone who hasn’t had a heartbreak to relate to Taylor swift’s songs🧍‍♂️

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