#at least let us have her be associated with the music

[rebelspykatie]

Steve’s never had anyone show any genuine interest in the things he likes. Robin rolls her eyes when he brings up sports or silly movies that don’t have a bigger plot or character work. Even though she played soccer, she doesn’t care about it in the same way that Steve cares about basketball or football. 

The kids make fun of everything from his taste in music to his choice in snacks for movie nights. Mike calls him a little housewife for baking one time and he never shows up with cookies again. They’re never intentionally mean spirited, or at least he doesn’t think so. He knows he can give as good as he gets when it comes to catty, sarcastic comments, but he tries to steer clear of personal attacks on someone’s identity these days. He learned that lesson with Jonathan. 

But even before the party came along, it was like that. His parents never stuck around long enough to find out what he was up to, never attending a game or meet, and certainly in the dark about what he might be up to outside of school. Tommy only ever cared about himself and Carol, only following Steve around for clout, popularity by association. If he asked him right now, he’d bet a lot of money that Tommy doesn’t even remember his favorite food or the movie he used to watch when he was sick. There was a point where he thought he could share things with him. Until he realized mid ramble about sports cars that Tommy wasn’t even listening to him. He was staring at Carol and nodding along with a vacant expression. 

So he stopped sharing. Stopped caring if people knew anything about him because they never asked. People always made assumptions about him anyway. The girls he slept with only wanted one thing. The kids were happy to let him chauffeur them around with no questions asked. Robin was the only one he let in, the only one that cared about digging deeper. But, and she never said in so many words, he could tell that she thought his interests were mundane, and clearly not something that sparked any enthusiasm from her. She couldn’t even keep up with the girls he slept with, giving him the same bored stare as Tommy. 

Even now, after a few years, Steve’s reminded that they never would have become friends if not for trauma and the secret inner workings of the Russian’s within Hawkins. He’s lucky to have her, but he doesn’t think she ever would’ve chosen this, chosen him. And that’s fine. He’s used to not being chosen. His parents didn’t choose him when they started leaving him alone at age 12. Tommy and Carol chose each other and the reign of a new king when Steve fell from his throne. Nancy chose Jonathan. 

He doesn’t think he has a lot to offer. 

Well, at least until Eddie comes along. He’s taken by surprise when Eddie asks after the song that’s playing in his car. He’d assumed Eddie only liked metal music, and yeah he pokes fun at the genre of music Steve seems to stick to, begging him to give metal a shot, but he doesn’t say a word about how lame it is. When they’re having a movie night, Eddie notices that Steve gravitates towards coke and brings him one without Steve asking.

After Eddie sees his bedroom, Steve gets a pack of hot wheels for Christmas. Eddie jokes that he should give one to each of the kids as their new ride, since they seem to be ungrateful little twerps. Steve places them right under his posters on his dresser and Eddie grins at them every time he comes over. They lay in bed and pretend to drive them on the ceiling like they’re kids again. It shakes something loose in Steve’s chest. 

Eddie hates sports, but he invites Steve over on Mondays, when Wayne is perched in his chair for football. He quietly works on his campaigns while Steve and Wayne watch the games. Eddie somehow worms his way into Steve’s heart, digging deeper and deeper with each new thing, like he wants to know more. Steve’s history is a minefield, but Eddie expertly navigates through it, leaving who they were behind, building something new together. Steve’s already halfway in love with him before he even realizes that Eddie is something that he likes. 

He expects to freak out a bit more, but who is going to stop him? Who is going to care if he wants to be with this boy? He’s spent so long ignoring parts of himself for others that he wants to cherish this fragile thing, to cradle it in his hands, make sure no one can ruin it for him. When he kisses Eddie, it feels like coming home, like he’s finally found that place he’s been searching for his whole life. It’s a kind of devotion that Steve’s not used to, born of love and not obsession or jealousy or anger. 

He’s not sure he deserves it, but he’ll do everything in his power to keep it.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

What did Andrew Lloyd Webber do to make Patti Lupone upset? Sorry, saw your tags and i was curious

Oh.

Oh honey.

You sweet child.

Anyway, get ready for one of the most infamous showdowns in all musical theatre history, with the guy who writes the straightest musicals on Broadway (derogatory) and the one and only, the matriarch, the queen, two three-time Tony award winner Patti LuPone.

So, Andrew Lloyd Webber was basically kind of a boy genius in his prime - he met his future collaborator Tim Rice when they were 17 and 20 respectively, he wrote his first big hit, Jesus Christ Superstar, at 22, with Tim Rice writing the lyrics. And it was kind of a big deal at the time because the topic was controversial (you know, the Passion with rock music), but also because Broadway wasn't that far off from its golden age and let's just say the music and style were very different from, say, My Fair Lady. Or The Sound of Music. Or Funny Girl. It was basically the Rent/Hamilton of its time. (Yeah, Stephen Sondheim was around at that time, he worked on West Side Story which was revolutionary in of itself, but he's kind of an oddball in this case. You'll understand why later.)

Their real follow up (I'm not counting Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for a variety of reasons) was a little musical called Evita, which you might know mainly because of a song called Don't Cry For Me Argentina. Or at least, your mom has probably heard it once at the very least. It's that song that's oversung from a musical while being out of context along with I Dreamed a Dream for Les Misérables. Or Memory from Cats.

Evita tells the story of Eva Peron, the wife of an Argentinian dictator, who basically screws her way to the top and ends up becoming the mistress of Juan Peron and the most beloved woman in her country through guile and deceit. Yes, I know the historical accuracy is very much debated but I know jackshit about Argentina's history except the bare basics so don't come at me. It was first produced in the West End in London, with Elaine Paige in the role, but because of Equity issues, she couldn't reprise her role for the Broadway production. So a Julliard graduate who was mostly starring in David Mamet plays got the part instead, and that was Patti LuPone.

Patti... did not have a good time during Evita, because the part is basically the kind of score where you can tell the composer is used to writing male parts, but most female singers have a two-octave range (yes, you got Julie Andrews who used to have a three-octave range, and many others, but they're exceptions), so she struggled a lot. That being said, if you listen to live recordings of her, you wouldn't be able to tell, and it got a lot easier later on. But she had this to say:

"Evita was the worst experience of my life. I was screaming my way through a part that could only have been written by a man who hates women. And I had no support from the producers, who wanted a star performance onstage but treated me as an unknown backstage. It was like Beirut, and I fought like a banshee."

This is from Patti's autobiography, which she wrote in 2007 - 8 years after shit with ALW went down. With all that said, she won a Tony Award for Evita, and she pretty much became a musical theatre household name from then on. She played Fantine in Les Misérables, Nancy in Oliver!, Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes. Meanwhile, ALW's next big hits were Cats (I'm not even kidding, Cats was a hit), and, you guessed it, The Phantom of the Opera, which he wrote in part to showcase his then wife Sarah Brightman's triple threat talents.

So, you need to understand before I continue that ALW, from my perspective, has always had a bit of an inferiority complex. He's basically associated to writing these commercially successful musicals that show a big spectacle but aren't ultimately substantial. I'm not sure I entirely agree with that, but I do think that if he didn't have Hal Prince, Maria Bjornson, Charles Hart and Gillian Lynne backing him up for Phantom, it would have probably been a Rocky Horror Picture Show knockoff people would have forgotten about pretty quickly. This is what I mean:

Yep, that was Phantom before any of the people I mentioned above (and Michael Crawford) were really involved.

Remember how I said Stephen Sondheim was an oddball? The thing with him is that his musicals weren't always commercially successful, but in general, in part thanks to being Leonard Bernstein's protégé, he was generally pretty well-respected and it was considered that his work was bringing musicals to a whole other level. Without Sondheim, you wouldn't have Jonathan Larson, and you wouldn't have Lin-Manuel Miranda. I am convinced ALW is resentful of that, and when you stop and think about it for more than 10 seconds, it's so obvious he REALLY wants to be Sondheim or at least command the same level of respect, but that's a story for another day.

So, after Phantom, ALW had other musicals that followed that either got a meh reception or outright flopped. Then there was Sunset Boulevard, which is based on the movie of the same name with Gloria Swanson. Despite all of her griefs for Evita, Patti LuPone agreed to partake in the musical as Norma Desmond, for its production in London, with the promise that she would transfer to Broadway once that production would open. And overall, after a string of flops, Sunset was actually doing pretty well.

HOWEVER. One day, while reading the gossip column of a newspaper, Patti found out that contrary to what she was promised, Glenn Close, who was meanwhile starring as Norma in the Los Angeles production, was to play Norma on Broadway. That was a complete surprise for her since no one on the production team had bothered to tell her it was happening - and keep in mind that for the news to come up the way it did in a gossip column, it probably would have necessitated a delay of a few weeks between the producers and the newspaper, which would have given them plenty of time to break the news to Patti. And Patti kind of needed the leg up because she was pretty bitter that a) Madonna was cast in the Evita adaptation instead of her; b) they actually lowered the key to fit Madonna's voice range, and she still had to expand her own to be able to sing the (lowered) score. And trust me, Patti is mad about it to this day.

So of course, she trashed her dressing room, the cast and crew weren't even mad about it because they were as shocked and angered as she was by the news. Patti sued Andrew Lloyd Webber for breach of contract, namely for 1 MILLION DOLLARS (yup, those are the real numbers), won, used the money she got from the lawsuit to get a swimming pool, which she called (and I SHIT YOU NOT) the Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool. Since then, Webber is dead to her, to the point rumor has it she had part of a building blocked during an event so she could get out of it without coming across Webber, because she hates him so flipping much she doesn't even want to be in the same building as the guy.

(There's also drama that happened with Faye Dunaway who was supposed to replace Glenn Close after she went from Los Angeles to Broadway, except they abruptly closed the show down after Close left, but that's a story for another day)

So with all the bad press, and with ALW forced to pay 1 million dollars for Patti's lawsuit, that led Sunset's productions to close earlier than expected. ALW has stayed around since, with... mitigated output, so to say. The lowest point for a lot of people is Love Never Dies, the sequel to Phantom, which some people love, and that's fine, but it didn't do well with either critics nor fans of the original show, which ALW is EXTREMELY BUTTHURT ABOUT. And like, there are so many stories I could tell about LND alone, but I will share my own crack theory about it, since it does relate to the ask.

Anyway, buckle up.

So. There have been jokes going around for years that the Phantom in LND is basically ALW's self-insert, where he displays to the world that he's totally not over Sarah Brightman leaving him (in part because making Phantom kinda ruined their marriage lmao), despite, you know, having married since. (Aaaaaakward.) So LND basically becomes this really uncomfortable therapy session where a man writes a self-insert musical about how his ex-wife made a big mistake of leaving a sensitive artistic soul such as himself. The characters from Phantom who appear in LND are all more or less unrecognizable as a result, and one who gets it worse (in my humble opinion) is Meg Giry, who was basically Christine's sweet and loyal ballerina friend who basically went into the Phantom's lair on her own to save her friend despite the danger. In LND, she's basically a bitter hag (because ALW hates women, guess Patti was right about that), who really likes the swim and even has a stripping vaudeville number about it, written in universe by the Phantom, no less.

For comparison, here's Don Juan Triumphant (the Phantom's opera in the original):

And here's Bathing Beauty (the vaudeville number):

Yeah, so... do you see why people hate LND already?

And that's not the only thing with Meg! She's also pining for the Phantom to pay attention to her and threatens to drown the Phantom and Christine's secret love child when he makes it clear that he's gonna love Christine for EVA AND EVA.

So, with everything we learned today about ALW, would someone like him view someone like Patti LuPone as some sort of crazy, bitter diva who's obsessed with him for whatever reason? Absolutely. Would he be petty enough to insert Patti LuPone into his self-insert musical, which gave us the version of Meg Giry we got in LND? Of course. Why does Meg love to swim so much and why does she drag Gustave out ostensibly for a swim? Is it a dig at Patti's Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool? Maybe.

I kind of hope we find out one day if that theory is true. And maybe start a kickstarter so Patti can add this painting from the 2004 movie in her collection.

Fun fact: during the process of casting for the 2004 movie adaptation of POTO, ALW allegedly suggested Patti LuPone to play Carlotta... only for Joel Schumacher to have to awkwardly remind him that they were not on speaking terms. The idea was therefore promptly dropped.

[syluscore]

Cameras Pt. 2

~Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader~

Word count combined for both parts one and two: 8277

PART ONE

Content warnings: smut, sexual content, breaking n entering, stalker leon, obsessed leon, dirty talk, degradation, praise, grinding, slapping, spitting, choking, hair pulling, biting, aggressive sex, very brief mention of wanting to slice reader open and climb inside her, lots of begging, blowjob, throat fucking, taking pictures during sex, fingering, p in v sex, creampie

!!!!!!MINORS DNI! GHOSTKENNEDY IS STRICTLY 18+!!!!!!

The water for your shower had been running for a few minutes now, but as you sat on the toilet seat, your mind was elsewhere. Jumbled thoughts and random flashbacks to the past 2 days were consuming you. You’d been home for two hours now and had yet to do anything at all besides think and think. But you had to shower and probably eat something eventually so you opened your phone and connected to your Bluetooth speaker, allowing your brain to get lost in the music. Maybe music could chase the thoughts away, maybe you could have a few minutes of peace.

You stepped underneath the hot water and let out a deep sigh. You let the water wash over your body and focus on the lyrics of the song blaring through the speaker. Slowly washing your body as you swayed to the music. You found yourself mumbling along to the lyrics of the song as you ran shampoo through your hair. All that mattered right now was the music and washing yourself. You’d never taken such a serene fucking shower, but things had gotten weird since what you’d discovered about Leon.

Leon. So much for sweet inner peace. You weren’t any closer to knowing what you were going to do about him. How could you even show your face around the office knowing he’s there? You can’t manage to force yourself to forget about him and trust me when I say you’ve tried. You’ve desperately tried to push the fresh memories to the back of your mind. As time goes on, perhaps you could forget about what happened; or at the very least the memories could become hazy and your brain wouldn’t be plagued with replays of Leon and his cock. How do you forget a cock like that? Now you’re thinking about his cock again. You’re supposed to not be thinking about his cock. Stop thinking about his cock!

You finished washing yourself off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping yourself up snugly in a towel. You wiped the fog off the mirror and stared into your reflection. Why was this happening to you of all people? Maybe it wasn’t you specifically after all. It could just be a thing for Leon. He picks someone to obsess over until he’s bored and then moves onto the next fixation. He definitely knew what he was doing with the obsessive stalker shit. He could eventually move on and then you could move on as well. Now that you know about him, he could lose interest in you. 

God, you really hoped that wasn’t the case. You hope that isn’t the case? Why the fuck would you hope that’s not the case? This isn’t healthy at all. You hate the way the whole situation is making you feel. Well, hate is a very strong word and Leon doesn’t deserve to be associated with such a word. Uncomfortable? Nerve racking? Uneasy, tense, disturbed? You couldn’t think of a word to describe it. Exhilarating? Intoxicating? Maybe you loved it. Maybe a part of you hated it and the other part, a much bigger part, absolutely loved it in every way. Nobody or anything had ever been so devoted to you. Infatuated with you.

You’re one mentally ill human being. You shook the thoughts from your head as you made your way out of the bathroom. Dinner and some good sleep should help clear your mind. Your thoughts could be factory reset by the morning and you’ll be able to go about your day as if everything is normal. Welcome to the state of Denial, you’ve officially entered. Enjoy your stay with us and please come again. You’re losing your mind, you’ve gone mad. 

Upon entering your living room, you came to an abrupt halt. Your heart felt like it almost fell out of your ass and your muscles all tensed up as if preparing for impact. “What the fuck?” you yelled out, “What are you, the fucking cat whisperer?” The man on your couch just chuckled, not even looking up from the book in his hands. One of your cats was cuddled up against his leg and your other cat was on the back of the couch cuddled into his opposing shoulder. “What are you doing here? Is that my book?” you asked Leon.

He shut the book and laid it down on the other cushion on the couch. He looked up at you and replied, “You should really read the next chapter, things are really starting to heat up.” He talked so casually, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. All you could do was stand in place staring at him, eyebrows furrowed together. You didn’t know what to say, what to do, what to make of this situation. “How was your shower?”

You cocked an eyebrow, “Good. What are you doing here?” 

“We have things to discuss,” he motioned for you to come closer to him, but you refused to move. “Come. Here,” he demanded and you shook your head at him.

“You couldn’t knock?”

“Why would I knock when you know I can just come in? Sounds like a waste of time to me.”

“Because you don’t live here! You could be a nice guy and respect boundaries, although it’s obvious you aren’t very good at that,” you shot him a dirty look and all he did was laugh. Comes into your place unannounced, scares the shit out of you, and he has the audacity to laugh at you. You two stared right at each other. An unspoken staring contest taking place between the two of you. You broke eye contact and sighed, slowly making your way over to sit next to him on the couch.

Leon had other plans, quickly darting his arms out to intercept you. He easily maneuvered you to straddle his thighs, causing you to let out an embarrassing shriek. 

“Leon, what the fuck? I’m basically naked! Let me go,” you exclaimed and tried to pull away from him, but he just held onto you tighter. He wrapped his hands around your back and pulled you even closer to him.

“Oh wow, I thought you were fully dressed under your towel. My mistake,” he smirked as you gave him the deadliest stare you could muster with flushed cheeks. “Have you gone all shy on me? But you displayed everything so nicely for me in those photos,” which caused you to avert your eyes away from him, staring at the cushion underneath you.

He grabbed your chin and brought your face back up to his and you couldn’t help but finally take in his appearance. He was wearing a button up shirt with the top few buttons undone, exposing the light hair on his chest. The sleeves were pushed up above his elbows, extenuating his huge biceps. He could wrap that bicep around your throat, slowly drain the life from you and you’d die a happy little content slut.

You brought your eyes back up to meet his, but his eyes were wandering elsewhere. His eyes looked across your exposed collarbones, down your arms, exploring the valley of your exposed thighs on either side of him. His eyes devoured you in a way that sent chills down your spine.

He finally met your gaze and you didn’t give yourself time to think before your right hand was raising up to his cheek, gently rubbing it. “You’re a fucking creep,” you said, your eyes never leaving his. Both your hands tangled up into his dirty blond hair as you continued, “What kind of a person breaks into someone’s house and jerks off with their panties? You’re a freak of nature. They should study people like you. What’s wrong with you?” He ground his hips up into you and you could feel his hard cock rubbing against you.

You pulled his hair as he brought his mouth to your ear, nibbling gently on the lobe. You had to fight back the moan that threatened to spill past your lips. He brought his mouth right up against your ear and spoke, “What kind of slut gets turned on by such behavior, huh?” You slowly start grinding yourself against his jeans, your exposed cunt making contact with his covered cock. You pulled your hands away from him, causing him to pull his mouth away from your ear and lean back so he could look at you.

You don’t know what came over you, but you pulled your dominant hand and slapped him as hard as you could across his face. “Anyone turned on by what you do is fucking deluded,” you told him as his hands pushed your towel up past your hips. His hands gripped so tightly into your hips you knew there’d be marks. You felt like your pelvis might snap in half between the pressure of his hands, but fuck did it make you so uncontrollably wet. 

“What was I supposed to do? The second I laid my eyes on you I couldn’t think of anything fucking else. I was jerking my cock what seemed like every hour for weeks after meeting you. I tried to stay away, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to slice you open, climb inside your body, and fucking live there. But I obviously can’t do that, so I climbed inside your house, surrounding myself with your things, learned everything there was to know about you, so at the very fucking least I could be inside your mind,” he said as you two grinded into each other like your lives depending on it.

He continued, “I watched you install your stupid cameras and do you think I gave a shit? I put on a show for you so that I could overtake your fucking mind like you did mine. I’ve been watching you for so long, I knew you were a depraved, needy whore. I knew if I showed you the truth it’d make your little pussy wet. You were made for me, fuck, just look at you.” He grabbed the back of your hair and yanked your head back. You couldn't contain it anymore, his words working you up more than you could stand.

Whimpers, gasps, pants, moans, sounds you’d never made before in your life were falling from your lips as you continued getting that sweet friction against your weeping cunt. His hand left your hair and pulled your towel completely off, baring you completely before him. He took one of nipples into his mouth and sucked intensely, like he was a dying man and the only thing keeping him alive was his mouth on your body.

As he sucked on your breast, his eyes rose and stared back into yours. This sudden urge came over you and you let saliva pool in your mouth before spitting it out on his cheek. He stopped the assault on your breast and looked at you with a shocked expression on his face, trying to comprehend what you had just done to him. “You disgust me,” you said before he quickly wrapped his hand around your throat, completely cutting off your air. 

Your hand quickly shot up and gripped onto his. You weren’t trying to pull his hand away, oh no, you held his grip tighter. Your reflexes were kicking in, your mouth fell open as your lungs tried to suck in any air they could. Your eyes were rolling into the back of your head, but that didn’t stop you from feeling Leon spit right into your open mouth.

“Fucking look at you taking whatever I’ll give you. You’re a filthy whore and you can’t even help it. You sit here and call me all sorts of names because you love my obsession with you,” he spoke as your face felt on fire and numb at the same time. He let go of your throat and you began to greedily suck in the air you’d been deprived of.

Grabbing you by the shoulders, he pushed you onto the floor on your knees as he stood before you, undoing his belt and jeans letting them fall down until he was just in his boxers before you. Your vision cleared as you looked directly at his hard dick through his briefs. You could see the growing wet spot on them from his precum as he brought his hand to his bulge and started rubbing himself through his underwear. 

You looked up with pleading eyes, hoping he’d understand what you so badly wanted to give him, but understanding is not what you got.

“What is it, baby? Is there something you want? We have to ask for things when we want them, that’s a concept you’re familiar with right? Or are you just a stupid slut who expects me to give her whatever she wants without having to work for it, hmm?” he said, the pace in which he was rubbing himself picking up. You whined, maybe he would give in and just let you take him without having to speak the words out loud. He just stared at you, waiting.

You cleared your throat and forced out the words, “Please, can I please suck your cock? I need to taste you so bad, please. Please sir, please fuck my mouth like you deserve to.” Once the words came out you couldn’t stop them. You needed him so badly, all you could do was helplessly beg. “I’ll be so good, I’ll do whatever you want from me, just please let me take your cock. Let me show you I can be good. Let me show you how well my throat can take it,” you continued begging and almost started drooling as he slowly pulled his underwear down, letting them fall to his ankles.

You looked up at him, asking for permission, “May I, sir?” He ran his hand down your scalp, bringing it down to your cheek and massaging it underneath his palm. He suddenly pulled his hand away before a sharp slap met your cheek that had your brain going foggy. The pain spread through your face, causing your jaw to fall open in a groan. 

Leon took this opportunity to shove his cock into your mouth, your attention grabbed immediately as your lips wrapped around him. You let out a moan as the taste of his precum flooded your mouth. The pain from the slap mixed with his taste had your eyes rolling back into your head as you sucked him in as hard as you could.

Leon’s head fell back in pleasure as a moan of your name fell from his lips. You pulled his cock deeper into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat to spur him on. Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, pumping him while you took his cock as deep as it could go in your throat. The sheer size of his member still blew your mind despite seeing it over camera twice. Nothing could compare to him being right in front of your face.

One of his hands tangled in your hair as the other one fiddled with something behind him. “Hey,” he said, grabbing your attention away from the work you were doing on his cock, “You can say no, okay?” You raised an eyebrow questioningly as you didn’t know what he was trying to say. He pulled up your Polaroid camera and it started coming together in your brain. You whimpered realizing he wanted to take pictures of the two of you together.

The idea rushed feverishly through you and straight down to your cunt. You’d never thought of taking pictures in the act. You both knew you’d taken plenty of pictures alone, but the thought of doing this with Leon and having the pictures for both of you to hold onto? You could feel the arousal pooling down your thighs as you nodded your head once to let him know to please continue. He smiled down at you, “Atta girl. Put on a show for me and I’ll make it worth your while, yeah?” The hand still held in your hair pulled tightly, causing you to close your eyes as you kept up your work on his cock.

You lost yourself in pleasing him. Giving him pleasure gave you pleasure as well. The way his cock stretched your mouth around him was heavenly. He was thrusting into your mouth, pushing himself down your throat. Tears were pouring down your face, but you didn’t want him to stop. You loved feeling like this, loved when your mind went foggy as he used you.

“Look at me,” he suddenly demanded. You looked up and your eyes immediately looked into the camera as he snapped a picture of you. “Fuck, such a good girl. So good for me, your mouth is, fuck, fucking perfect,” he whined out. The sound was pure sex, causing you to moan around his dick.

“You want me to fuck you? You wanna take me into your slutty cunt, huh?” he asked you as you pulled your mouth off his cock sucking in a deep breath.

“Please, please. I want you to fuck me so bad. I want you to use my pussy until you cum, sir,” you were once again pleading for him. You couldn’t find shame within you anymore. Your need heavily outweighed your pride. And knowing he liked you like this? You wanted to give yourself over to him whenever he wanted, however he wanted.

He walked around you, pushing you forward so that your chest was laying on the cushions of your couch, knees still on the floor as he spread them wider before him. You looked back at him just in time to see him take a picture of you bent over for him. After the photo was pushed out of the camera, he brought the device closer to your sopping pussy and took a picture of how wet and needy you were for him. He sat the camera down and started kneading both his hands into your ass cheeks.

Leaning forward he kissed your shoulder as one hand slipped down between your thighs and rubbed your clit gently. He ran his fingers up and down your folds before sinking a finger into your wet heat. You couldn’t help but whine at this point. You were so worked up, you could’ve taken his cock immediately, but you were also too worked up to be able to voice this. He slid another finger in as you let out a long, high pitched moan. 

“Are you ready for me, baby? I need to feel your pussy around my cock,” Leon asked you as you nodded your head as fast as humanly possible. He chuckled at your neediness before slowly pulling his fingers out of you and bringing them to your lips. “Here, be a good girl and clean this up for me,” he could barely finish his statement before you were sucking his fingers clean of your juices. He let out a deep moan as his other hand pulled back and smacked your ass hard. 

He wrapped his hand around his cock and rubbed the tip against your wet hole, causing you to instinctively push yourself back, trying to take his cock. This earned you another smack on your ass. You moaned as you arched your back from the pain. Leon took this opportunity and slammed himself all the way inside of you, which had you unintentionally biting his fingers that were still being held in your mouth. He moaned at the way your teeth dug into his fingers before pulling them out and running his hand down your back.

You turned to look at him, begging, “Please move Leon, I need it so bad. I need you to fuck me, please please please please.” You couldn’t help but move your ass around to get some sort of movement within your pussy. You were so desperate, you couldn’t wait any longer, you needed him to fuck you until you couldn’t remember your own name.

“Shhhhh,” he whispered as he wrapped his hand around your throat, pulling your head back to rest on his peck as your back arched even further for him, “I’ve got you sweet girl.” He finally, finally, started moving and moans were already falling from your lips uncontrollably. “That’s it, you take me so well. Gonna make you feel so good,” Leon praised you. He had completely switched from the degrading way he spoke to you earlier and the praise had you melting beneath his touch. Your walls flutter around his cock in approval.

His pace picked up as he ruthlessly began pounding into you. You were uttering incoherent phrases at him as the pleasure was coursing through every nerve in your body. Leon leaned forward and buried his head in your neck, letting loose the most pornographic moans you’d ever heard. You didn’t know what was giving you more pleasure, the way he was fucking you or the way he sounded.

You pulled your hands from where they were gripping the couch and wrapping them behind you, tangling his hair in your fingers as you pulled his mouth to yours. The kiss was messy and loud, moaning as your tongues clashed together desperately trying to feel every square inch of each other. Leon’s hands released their grip on your thighs and ran them up to your stomach until he reached your breasts, where he rubbed your nipples between his fingers, further driving you crazy.

You felt yourself slowly climbing that mountain, heading towards release, when Leon’s movements suddenly stopped and he pushed your chest back into the couch, pressing you into it with both hands. You were whining and pushing yourself up and down his cock while he held you in place. “That’s it, fuck yourself with my cock. You look so good like this, so fucking needy,” Leon barely formed the words together as he got lost in the sight of you. He rested his hands lazily on his hips, holding himself up as you forcibly fucked back onto his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, please fuck me. I’m so close I need you to fill me up, please,” you begged, wearing yourself out from your movements, hardly able to catch your breath but unrelenting in your need to cum. 

Leon gave into your request, pushing his hands into your back, holding you in place as he ruthlessly fucked into you. He let out a loud moan before speaking, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Cum with me sweet girl. I want to feel you cum around my cock.” You couldn’t formulate a response, but after a few more hard, sloppy thrusts you were screaming Leon’s name and all sorts of profanities as you came. 

After feeling you squeeze his cock so tightly, Leon was cumming deep inside your pussy. Thrusting into you through his orgasm, pushing his cum further inside of you. Your knees gave out beneath you, but Leon was quick to grab your hips and hold you up. He slowly slid his cock out of you, taking in the view of his cum slowly dripping down your thighs. If it was possible, he would’ve cum again at the sight alone. 

He helped you turn over and lay on the floor right beside your couch as he laid down right next to you. You were tightly sandwiched between the couch and coffee table with him, but you didn’t mind. You wanted to be as close to him as possible. You rolled onto your side and threw your leg and arm over him, chin resting on his shoulder. He turned to look at you, catching your lips in a slow, gentle kiss. It was a sharp contrast to how you’d just been moments ago and it would’ve given anyone whiplash, but to you both it made perfect sense. 

Leon pulled away and spoke softly, “There’s only one thing I’m not sure of. Why’d you get the cameras?” You let out an airy laugh and were about to speak when you were interrupted by a loud crash in the kitchen, followed by one of your cats zooming through the living room and into your bedroom away from the noise.

“What the fuck was that?” you yelled, whipping your head towards the kitchen. “That’s why I got the damn cameras! Between the cats, and apparently you, I was beginning to believe I was living with a poltergeist.”

Leon laughed before speaking, “Hey, I’m careful. That’s all on them or the poltergeist.”

~masterlist~

[mymanyfandomramblings]

Any headcanons for toh?

Oooooh. I have several, including an entire section dedicated to my love of the terrible Blight family dynamics. Here we go:

Luz and Gus both love Hamilton. Amity does not love Hamilton, but she tolerates it.

Amity's music taste is either 'the softest, lightest, saddest pop music' or 'heavy metal'. all happy songs on her playlist were added because she associates them with Luz or her friends, not because she listens to them.

Luz is convinced that Elvis is alive somewhere on the Boiling Isles.

All of the Hexsquad are the type to call each other in the middle of the night because an idea occurred to them. it's usually Willow who ends up being called.

Willow has tried--and failed--to understand the hype with either The Good Witch Azura or Cosmic Frontier. She however does know so much lore about both, and is so good at pretending, that her friends have yet to figure out that she doesn't care about their fandoms beyond 'you're really happy talking about it'.

Edric and Emira see Gus as their unofficial little brother

Darius makes Willow's wedding dress, when she gets married.

When Hunter and Willow get married, Gus is a combination of best man/man of honour and Luz is a combination maid of honour/best woman. Amity's just a bridesmaid, but her feelings are unhurt by this.

Hooty writes terrible RPF

Lilith likes Raine just fine but she will not let them know this.

Luz and Gus will corner Hunter at some stage and be like 'listen, we know you like Willow. If you're going to date her you have to treat her like a princess. Spare no expense, leave no stone unturned. when you ask her to Grom you must do a big romantic gesture."

Willow does not like big romantic gestures nearly as much as Luz and Gus do.

Gus helps Luz and Amity plan their big dramatic Gromposals, so that they both ask at the same time, with equally massive fanfare.

Amity is not naturally a big romantic gestures person, but Luz is, so she has adapted to a big romantic gestures person.

Eventually Gus and Luz will figure out that neither Hunter or Willow are 'big romantic gestures' people. it will take too long for them to figure this out.

Camila and Darius are appreciative of each other for raising Hunter. Beyond that, they don't actually mesh all that well. She doesn't understand his dramatics.

Darius is occasionally prone to calling Raine and Eberwolf in the middle of the night to drag them on sidequests.

Back when Lilith was head of the Emperor's Coven, Eda used to go to wherever the coven heads would meet, and she'd sit under the window with a boombox and blast the Boiling Isles equivalent of 'You May Be Right' and 'Everybody Loves Me Baby'. This stopped after Lilith left the Emperor's Coven, but a little while later, Scooter Crane resigned, Raine Whispers ascended to head of the bard coven, and Eda and her boombox returned.

When Hunter starts attending Hexside, he isn't sure what he wants to study, and with the track system being far more flexible--and him being very traumatized and not very well-socialised--Principal Bump lets him have a blank schedule and go to whichever classes whenever. This often ends up with him spending much of the day in Plants, where it's peaceful. or at least he says it's because it's peaceful.

Grimwalker physiology is pretty similar to witch and human physiology, however it has some strange and inexplicable quirks. One of these things is a complete and utter lack of a detectable heartbeat.

Eda and co. would not all have survived high school without Raine there to keep the peace, and rein in the more stupid ideas.

Also, my incessant headcanons about the Blight family:

Odalia's family used to be one of Bonesborough's richest and most eminent families, however either thanks to a bad business deal or a scandal they lost most of their fortune and repute while Odalia was a child, and by the time she started Hexside, she's been living in genteel poverty for years. This has given her high-class trappings, memories of having wealth, and a desperation to regain it.

Darius was the one to originally introduce Odalia and Alador. he eventually regretted this.

Odalia wasn't always a terrible person. She was always unscrupulous, sharp-tongued and a social climber, but she is also capable of genuine pleasantness.

Odalia and Alador once did like each other--or at the very least were attracted to each other originally. This soured over years of an unsuccessful marriage.

They got married very young. Odalia was keen to lock down the last heir to the Blight fortune as soon as possible, and Alador thought she was pretty, and a good business woman.

Everything started falling apart when the twins were born, and properly fell apart when Amity was born.

Odalia's pregnancies have never been easy on her, and she experienced bad bouts of post-partum depression after both.

Alador is most definitely autistic. and also undiagnosed. among the things he finds overstimulating are a) children and b) Odalia when she's in a bad mood.

so when Amity was born and suddenly there was a crying baby, two chaos twins, and a very irritable post-partum Odalia, Alador's response was 'spend as little time in the house as possible.'

This is about when any last love between Odalia and Alador left the marriage.

Back to general headcanons, Edric gets bad asthma attacks

Emira is like a very immature mother to her siblings. they'd be lost without her.

Amity is unambiguously the favourite child. not that this gets her preferential treatment from her parents, but it does foster resentment among her siblings.

it took the twins much too long to figure out that Mittens has other emotional needs beyond 'an ego check'.

Alador just...gives them their inheritance when they asked for it. Amity put hers into saving, Emira uses it to be the hot rich single aunty to her nieces and nephews, and Edric spent his all at once on something like a waterslide for his house.

Edric needs budgeting lessons ASAP. he's not very good at it.

Post-divorce the twins joke incessantly about the fact that their mother is in jail.

That's all I can think of right now.

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

short dress. l Javier Peña

💔 a few ways to break your heart 💔

Summary:  you didn't dress for him

Warnings:  angst, a few bad words, ending a relationship, mentioning sex, drninking

A/N: yep. i did it again. i'll probably regret it in the morning.

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

a few ways to break a heart [masterlist]

This was your evening. This evening where you looked like walking trouble. 

The skimpiest dress wrapped around your body, make-up that made you even more beautiful. You felt eyes on you, and it made the excitement in your veins flow even faster.

His hands were strong, body hard. When he whispered all those sweet and dirty things in your ear, when he told you what he would do to you.

The drink that filled your mouth was sweet. The music made your bodies even closer to each other. He was almost about to touch your lips, finally taste you, when you felt someone else grab you tightly by the waist and move away from him.

"I think you're a little out of control, hermosa."

Javi. Javier Peña . Javier fucking Peña.

You giggled as he led you out of the bar and into the dark street. Even by the door you could hear the longing call of your would-be lover behind you. In one second, Javier turned you around to face him. His dark eyes pierced you to the bone. You knew your dress had an effect on him too.

Everything you wore had an effect on him, because he knew he would soon take it off you. That makeup was sexy too. And it would look even better smudged when he will be fucking you in his bed and you will be screaming his name.

And you smelled like sex. That scent filled his lungs and he would associate it with you for the rest of his life.

"I see you're having fun." he said in a deep voice and you smiled.

"Yeah, I was having fun until you showed up." you stuck out your bottom lip like a child torn from a good toy.

"You said you were going out with your friends from the office." he pointed out and you shrugged. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Are you interrogating me, agent Peña?" you snorted. "You don't really have the right to, do you?"

He frowned. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

It was a moment. You didn't look drunk anymore, there was something in your gaze that sent a cold shiver down his spine. You crossed your arms over your chest, facing him as equals.

"How's Ana doing?" you asked and saw his eyes narrow "She looked pretty good the last time I saw her with you. She changed her hair, right? She looks really good."

There was silence. Even though there were guests partying not far from you, you and Javier were staring at each other. His face showed surprise and confusion. The sight really amused you.

"You thought I wouldn't find out, didn't you?" you added after a moment "I saw you that evening when you had a lot of paperwork. I hope she helped you with that, she's a smart girl."

"She's my informant." Javier spoke up "And it's not what you think, hermosa."

"Oh, I think it's exactly as I think." You smiled as you approached him, your hand gently adjusting his bent shirt collar. "At least have the balls to admit it."

"Hermosa..." he groaned looking at you. "I can explain it."

"Don't bother, honey. I don't care." You shrugged again.

It was true. After seeing him and Ana tenderly embracing in one of the bars, you cried the whole night away. You had no intention of shedding more tears on that asshole. 

You should have never gotten into his bed, you should have never believed his sweet words and gestures.

"There's just one thing I don't understand." Your voice was calm, almost curious. "If you already got into my panties, what was the point of all this show, Javier? I have nothing more to give you."

His hand unexpectedly rested on your cheek and it took all your strength not to snuggle into it, like you always did. The fucking bastard was using every trick.

"Let's go to my place, let's talk," he said quietly. "We should talk, hermosa."

Just a few days ago you would have given in to those doe eyes staring at you with such pleading, you had been doing this for a few long months. But this couldn't be solved like that. You needed a quick cut.

"You can't fix this, Javi. I should have remembered that your dick likes variety, not stability."

"But baby..." he groaned as you pulled away from him.

"Keep it for others." you mumbled and before he could say anything else you turned around and headed home.

You weren't planning on sleeping with that guy. You didn't care about him. You didn't dress up for that. Javier wasn't supposed to see you cry, he was supposed to see you at your best.

And it worked.

redemption : short dress. l Javier Peña

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[fanaticsnail]

I shared this w/ deerling before she’d deactivated. I’m sososo happy for her! she will always be loved n missed! But, I never got to hear her thoughts! And I thought you might humor it too!

I’m not sure if you’re familiar w/ the song Imitadora by Romeo Santos? A week or so ago I was hyper-fixated on it n it made me think about law. Growing up when the Donquixote pirates would have galas and such celebrations, would he watch Rosi dance w/ partners and just praying on his downfall? He needed something, some type of material to tease & embarrass Rosi w/ to get his lick back. But honestly? the only thing he picked up from observing Rosi dance was the way he danced.

I’m not very familiar w/ the correct type of dance that should be associated w/ this song, and anyone please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong! But the most common one I’d found was bachata, which originated in the Dominican Republic. I know you’d already written something in your series for Bachata, but just hear me out!

Law, after watching Rosi dance during celebrations when he was younger, would have to had learn something and picked up the basics at the very least. Now, I raise you this food for thought. Would Law be a good partner? Would he be rusty? Or maybe just outright refuse and dismiss it? Would he be embarrassed? Or would nostalgia wash over him when you offer, take him by the hand and pull him towards the floor? A bit more willing w/ alcohol in his system. Hand on the small of your back, one knee slotted between your thighs your palm falling to the nape of his neck n fingers threaded through the soft wisps of baby hair a bit before his nape n finally falling into the music. Now! Would he experiment w/ all of the fancy dips and twirls he’d remember Rosi do? I like to think he’s more seasoned n cocky even going as far as trying something on the fly!

Sorry for the ramble! I love your writing andhope to see your thoughts if you humor this!!

-��

Hello my love! I have so many thoughts and fics written and coming up for this particular concept. I love the thoughts, 🪼 Anon!

1. Donquixote Rosinante can dance.

This man can absolutely dance. He dances Flamenco, Tango, Salsa, Bachata, Conga, Rumba, Cha Cha: anything that involves hips swinging, feathers flying, legs intertwining, and passion igniting. This is the only time he is absolutely not clumsy. He was also taught the marines waltz while in basic. Donquixote Doflamingo, however, can not. He thought it was a waste of time.

2. Imitadora Romeo Santos

I am not familiar with the song, but now that I've listened to it on repeat a few times, Rosinante dances Bachata to this song. Hips flush against yours, one hand on your lower back while the other is expanded to the side in the hopes you'd take it to spin. Always with a smile on his face, twirling between the rapid brush of drums on the snare, tapping his feet while dragging his toes. He loves it, and makes it known my whispering the lyrics without vocalising them.

3. Bachata

I love Bachata. When my host-sister came back to my country for a visit, she took us all out dancing Bachata on the beach - something that I would love to take up on the regular. It's sultry, romantic, playful, everything you want wrapped in one dance. I see Luffy, Ace and Sabo dancing Bachata - and Rosinante also excels at it.

4. Law and Dancing

Growing up in Flevance, Law's cultural dances would be something similar to the folk dances in Austria and Germany. There is no way he wouldn't grow up learning these dances with Lami. Watching his parents engage in social events, letting loose with their colleagues, some of his happier memories would be watching them in the warmth of each other's embrace and slowly swaying to a waltz. Hearing a 3/4 rhythm beat on the den-den shoots him back to that moment: his parents love for one another swelling his heart and having him yearn for a fragment of the past.

5. Rosinante and Law Dancing

Law would gruffly pout in the corner at these social events, far before Rosinante had bothered to pay him any mind. He hated the events, especially when Doflamingo ordered him to dance with Baby 5 as "an aspect of his training". Once they opened up to one another, baring Corazon's secret mission with the marines, Law paid far more attention to his guardian protector. Watching in earnest as he demonstrated his skills by engaging with partners.

6. Law past the time skip

This man wants to dance. He would never admit it to anyone, but he wants the opportunity to keep a part of his heritage alive and pass on the knowledge of his cultural dances to anyone willing to listen. After Dressrosa, he is far less pent up and full of wrath, and wants to express it through dance. He is so rusty, he forgets a few of the steps, and will need reminding.

7. Law and Sanji

Sanji knows some of these cultural dances. When the Supanova trio catch up and engage in social drinking, firstly: the Victoria Punk crew demonstrate some of their highland jigs, and teach them to Luffy. Luffy, in turn, teaches Killer how to Bachata. Given how large he is in comparison to Luffy - he would opt to teach "Traffy" in response. Law knows these dances, has seen these dances with Corazon, and actually enjoys relearning how to do this dance.

And to repay Luffy, he would offer to teach him a dance from Flevance.

Given how long it's been, he forgets a few steps and slips up with the spins: finding the follow position rather than the lead. With how poorly he seems to remember the steps, Sanji lets out a huff of exasperated cigarettes and opts to "cut in" for Luffy: immediately takes the lead position, and guides Law through the steps flawlessly. Law would become extremely overwhelmed and quite emotional afterwards, having to excuse himself as he takes a moment to remember what was lost to him. After paying his respects to his parents, Lami, and Corazon's memory - he would return and witness Franky attempting to impress Robin with a dance fit for the Cossacks.

8. Dancing with you

After the event with Sanji, you would go and ask the foreign captain if he was feeling alright. You, being the councilor and negotiator for the Straw Hats. Waving away your worries with a flick of his tattooed hand, the music would change into a reminder of the Bachata earlier. Offering to pay you back for checking in on him, he would lead you into a dance immigrating Luffy's earlier twirls and sways.

Demonstrating a particular motion Luffy didn't teach, a twirl that had your back to his chest, hips pressed flush against your ass, and knee slotted between your thighs in the same way Rosinante would catches your breath in your throat.

Feeling a little more bold with his control, he wouldn't let you leave the floor until he was completely satisfied with the way you moved with him. Having cheers from Luffy, and taunts from Kid, would spur him on to keep you in his arms and hum to the music. He remembers his friend, he remembers his parents, he remembers his sister, and he remembers his past through dance.

He also remembers how to flirt. And he enjoys making you blush while he's so close to you. Eyes half-lidded, lips spurring soft praise, speaking his native tongue with a combination of Corazon's to have you squeak out a "thank you" with a hot flush igniting your face.

9. Further notes

I am incredibly grateful you shared these thoughts with deerling. She was such a joy to this fandom and I'm so glad she found her happiness. I have no idea how long this has been in my ask box, considering it had been not working properly for quite a while. Thank you for blessing me with some dance headcanons for the favorites. I love the thoughts, and I hope you enjoy my take on them!

10. I know this isn't a fic, but I thought I'd tag you just in case you wanted to see.

@mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @since-im-already-here @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @sordidmusings @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @the-light-of-star @empirenowmp3 @racfoam @sunflowersatori @carrotsunshine @skullfacedlady @jintaka-hane @thenotsofantasticlifestory

[ihave-atummyache]

tsundere

Stray Kids Imagine

Summary: some tsundere moments with the boys

18+ !! Mature themes and suggestive content

-OT8

6.5k words

Bang Chan:

Before you ever even talked to Chan, you had a preconceived idea of him because of all the rumors surrounding his aura and persona by people who had never actually spoken a word to him.

You thought he was cold, standoffish, kind of scary, and a bit unapproachable, just as everyone else did. However, at a gathering with a few mutual friends, you found yourself with Chan beside the snack table and you could not have been more wrong. He was beyond kind to you and this was the first time you had ever even had a conversation with the handsome man.

All it took was this one conversation for you to absolutely fall head over heels for the man and you quickly exchanged numbers. One thing led to another and here you are, dating the absolute love of your life.

Everyone around the two of you, upon finding out you were seeing each other, were quite confused to say the least. You are known for being swwer and liked by everyone upon first meeting them. To everyone on the outside, you and Chan seemed like polar opposites. They assumed he was the tsundere boyfriend type and had impure thoughts of corrupting your image or other ulterior motives.

They figured he was using you for his own lustful desires and had no intentions of caring for you.

If only they had seen him outside of the environment that the two of you were associated with. You were often seen at parties and other get togethers, hanging out with friends. If they had seen him outside these social settings, they would he shocked.

Standing in line at the coffee shop? His hand was placed in your back pocket. Walking down the road in autumn? He had your hand interlocked with his own and had the bundle stuffed into his hoodie pocket, of course.

One night, he is throwing a party at his house and invites all of your and his friends to the get together. You run out of drinks and snacks much quicker than you initially anticipated and offer to go to the store and grab some more before it gets too late. Chan seems a bit reluctant to let you go which is perceived as possessiveness by the ones looking in, instead it was just concern for you walking alone.

"I don't mind walking with Y/n," your friend speaks up from the couch, a random man clinging on to her that you can only assume she was trying to escape from. "Perfect. Let's go," you reply and she quickly joins you.

"I'll be right back!" You assure to Hyunjin before walking out the door, assuming he would relay the message to you protective and concerned boyfriend. You step out the door and start down the hallway with your friend.

"You just saved me and you don't even know!" your friend grabs your arm and shakes it and you laugh but before you can even respond you feel your phone vibrating in your hand. You look at the screen and see Chan calling.

"Yes?" You answer the phone in a sing-song voice. You hear a little bit of shuffling on the other end and the faint music from the apartment in the background, as well as still being able to hear it since you were only a few steps away from the apartment.

"Baby, you didn't tell me you were leaving. You didn't even give me a goodbye kiss," you can practically hear the pout on Chan's face. You feel a small blush on your face as your shocked friend listens to your 'tsundere' boyfriend on the other end.

"Chris, I haven't even made it down the hall yet," you complain and place a hand on your hip before continuing, "Open the door, you big baby," you continue and turn around to head back towards his apartment. Before you can even take a step, his apartment door is swinging opening.

"One sec," you mumble to your friend and rush back to the apartment door, your sweet puppy dog of a boyfriend waiting for you with a pout on his perfect lips.

"Hi," you smile as you approach him and gently place your hand on the side of his face, bringing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss, slightly longer than a peck, but not long enough to embarrass you.

His hands rest on your lower back and he leans in, placing another quick kiss to your lips before pulling back and rubbing his nose against yours, causing you to scrunch your face.

"Hurry back. I miss you already," he complains and you roll your eyes at his cute clinginess. "Yes sir. I won't be long," you reassure him and pull his hands off your back. He grabs your hand and places a quick kiss to your knuckles before letting you back away from him.

You give your precious boyfriend one more smile before jogging back to your friend, waiting for you with her jaw practically on the ground. “Don't forget those drinks Jisung likes! He said you would know what he's talking about!" You hear him yell behind you and you hold out a thumbs up without turning around.

"Why do you look so shocked?" you approach your friend and she blinks at you a few times before closing her mouth. "Why do I look so shocked?!" she exclaims and grabs you by your shoulders before continuing, "I just found out your tsundere boyfriend is actually the biggest golden retriever boyfriend I have ever seen in my life!" She practically yells and you can't help the laughter that falls from your lips.

Lee Know:

You walk into the waiting room of the venue and see the back of your boyfriend's, Lee Know's, head sitting on a black leather couch. You walk up behind him and scratch his head gently. He leans into your touch, knowing it was you without having to look at you.

You circle the couch and sit next to him, pulling your legs up to sit cross legged. You scoot an inch closer to him and allow your knee to rest on top of his thigh.

"Hi evil bunny," you tease and he rolls his eyes, allowing his hand to find its way to your knee and rubbing shapes absentmindedly as you pull your phone out. It was only the two of you in the room and you were both enjoying the comfortable silence.

Before you could enjoy it too much, however, you hear the familiar loud echo of the rest of his bandmates' voices coming down the hall and towards the room. They boom into the room, singing God knows what and all start to gather in the seats around you.

"Hi, y/n," Han plops himself down on the opposite side of you and lays his head on your shoulder.

"Hi, Hannie," you reply and reach up, patting him gently on the cheek before continuing on your phone. He lets out a deep sigh before finishing his thoughts.

"Can you kill your boyfriend for me?" He speaks up again and you let out a chuckle.

"Yes of course. What did he do this time?" you inquire and lock your phone, placing it down on your lap. "Wow. You agree before even knowing why? Having a tsundere boyfriend must suck more than I realize," Han comments and Minho scoffs beside you.

"He made us practice sooooo late last night and we have a show tonight and I'm beyond tired," Han complains and Minho finally speaks up for the first time since the boys have entered the room, "Han Jisung, I did not make you stay up for an extra three hours playing that stupid game," he replies simply and Han sits up, letting out a dramatic gasp before slouching in the seat and letting his head rest on the back of the couch.

"I don't think he's a tsundere anymore, Hannie hyung. I think y/n broke him," Jeongin speaks up and everyone turns to look at him. He tilts his head towards the two of you and the room all observes your boyfriend rubbing your knee before he stops abruptly, pushing your legs. This causes them to uncross and your feet land back on the ground.

"Hey!" you object but its too late. You have already ruined his tsundere reputation and now he has to be a pouty kitty about it. "I'm not turning soft. She's just so obsessed with me that if I don't give her attention she complains," he insists to the room and you can't help the small giggle that escapes as you unlock your phone again and go straight to your camera roll.

"Unlock your phone, Ji," you turn to him quietly and he obeys, unlocking his phone without asking any questions. He gets an airdrop notification from you and has to cover his mouth to prevent the laugh from escaping when he sees the photo.

It's a picture of Minho laying between your legs, his cheek pressed to your stomach and his arms wrapped around your torso. You lean over to Han and whisper so only he can hear, "But I'm the clingy one right?" you whisper and he lets out a chuckle before leaning over to you and glancing at your phone. You open the album labelled "my evil bunny" and start to scroll through.

He clicks on a mirror picture of the two of you in the full body mirror in a dressing room and Minho had his entire arm wrapped around your leg, his other hand on his phone. You obviously were just trying to take a picture in the dress to probably send to your best friend. You know for a fact he doesn't know this photo exists.

You click the arrow to air drop it to Jisung for blackmail and notice that Seungmin's airdrop was on as well and before you could stop him, Jisung airdropped it to his younger friend who immediately accepts it.

This carries on for a few minutes until all of the members have at least one photo or video of Minho being insanely clingy and sweet to you.

"Okay I can't stand it anymore!" Minho's voice is slightly louder than normal. "What is everyone giggling about?" He demands and throws his hands in the air. Chan is the first one to turn his phone around and show his new lock screen, a picture of his younger member with lipstick kiss marks all over his face and his cheeks and ears blushing like crazy.

His face immediately matches the blush in the photo and he turns his head to you quickly.

"Karma, baby," You stand quickly and run out of the room before he can get his hands on you.

"Y/n-ah!"

Changbin:

You had been extra needy for your boyfriend's attention since yesterday but he wasn't giving you the time of day. He had gotten home the night before from a recording session and apparently he didn't sound as good as he wanted himself to (you assured him he sounded great, as always, but he did not listen). You could tell all morning that something was up with him. This session seemed to really have gotten to him and you wanted to do whatever you could to make him happy.

Which is how you ended up where you are now.

At the gym, sweating your ass off.

You do your last rep and stand up to let Changbin take your place on the bench and do his next set. He replaces the weights you had with the weights that suited him best and lays down to do his own bench press.

You spot him but by spot him, you just kind of stand at his head and stare at his chest and arms on every rep he does, trying your best not to let your wetness seep through your leggings. You bite the inside of your cheek to try to keep yourself sane.

You can't help it! How would everyone else feel if their insanely hot, talented, and appealing boyfriend was working out one of his best assets right in front of their eyes! (changbitties) Especially since you had been so needy for him and he barely even cuddled you all night!

You bite your lip as he re-racks the the bar. He stands silently, unusual for him, and moves to the machine next to you, which is one of your favorite because not only does he look so good doing it, but it also gives you a decent and noticeable bicep pump.

After you complete your first two sets, you can't help but look at yourself in the mirror and pull the headphones off your head. You wave to catch your boyfriends attention before he starts his next set. He pulls his own head phones off as he sits down in the machine seat.

"Baby, look at this pump," You comment and flex in the mirror. You turn and flex again, observing your biceps in the mirror, pressing on the muscle with your other hand.

"Mm," he hums in response and you pout at his response, he didn't even pretend to indulge you. He pulls his headphones back on and you know he doesn't mean it, he's just in the zone and has been in a mood. Still! You can’t help wanting a compliment on your muscles.

"How tsundere of you," You mumble and he stops right before he starts his set, letting out a low chuckle. "I can read your lips sweetheart," He raises his eyebrows at you and you cross your arms over your chest at him, rolling your eyes before sticking your tongue out at him. He smiles at the childish gesture a taps your foot with his own.

"Your pump looks very good, my dear," He says in a sarcastic tone but you shake your head. You don't even want to hear it anymore. The moment has passed so it doesn't have the same effect on you. He finishes his set and pulls his headphones off his head at the same time you pull yours back on and take his spot, pressing play on your music again.

You could see out the corner of your eye that he was talking to you but you ignored him as you completed your own set. After completing your last rep, he pulls your headphones off your head to force you to listen to him.

"Now who is being a tsundere?" he questions and you swat his hand away to pull your headphones back on but he doesn't let go.

"Do you want to go do leg press so I can compliment your glute pump?" he offers and you perk up at this. A small smile gracing your face and he can't help pinching your cheek.

It always gets you excited to do legs and glutes with your boyfriend especially when you're supposed go be doing upper body. Let's be honest, legs and glutes are just so much more fun!

He pulls you to your feet and presses a quick kiss to your lips before placing a hand on your lower back and guiding you in the direction of the other side of the gym.

"Come on," he starts walking towards the leg machines and you follow happily behind him, not before stopping and flexing in the mirror again.

Hyunjin:

You walk into Hyunjin's art room and plop yourself down on the couch, taking note of your boyfriend jumping at the sound of your body making contact with the fabric. He had to be extremely focused to not have even noticed you walk into the room.

You stare at the side of his face for a while. His long hair was pulled back into a bun to prevent it from falling in his face and you let out a sigh. He really is so pretty. You keep staring at him, waiting for him to finally turn and give you his attention but after a few minutes, you cave and talk to him first.

"Whatcha doooooing?" you drawl out and he glances over at you before dipping his brush back into some paint and continuing what he was doing.

"Jinnieeee," you whine out when he doesn't reply to you and you throw your head over the arm of the couch, looking at your long haired boyfriend from a new upside down angle. One you had never seen him from before but he looks stunning nonetheless.

"Babyyyyy," you try again, but to no avail.

"My love, my prince, my favorite person in the whole entire universe who has my entire heart and I can't stand to live without and can make me-"

"What baby! Yes, y/n. What do you need from me??" he interrupts you, annoyance in his tone but he doesn’t look up from the painting he's doing.

"I don't like you ignoring me, Jinnie," you reply in a slightly bratty tone. He lets out a sigh and lets silence linger in the air for a few moments but decides it would be best to yield to you if he had any intentions of finishing what he was doing and not getting completely distracted by you.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He answers your previous question with another question and you roll your eyes.

"I'm boooored," you complain to him and he lets out another sigh. You let your eyes drift to the canvas that he has his brush stroking across. The colors all look a little too familiar.

You sit up, the blood rushing back to your extremities, and look at the incomplete painting a bit more closely. The flowers, the trees, even the clouds in the sky all look familiar before it clicks.

"Are you painting our lunch date we went on?" You inquire and stand up, walking over to your boyfriend who locks his phone as you walk over and you tangle your hand in the hair at the nape of his neck.

"No, ma'am," he replies, dismissively, and leans into your touch slightly. "I guess you did serve a purpose coming in here though. You broke my focus and made me realize how much I have to pee," He stands and walks towards the bathroom. You can't help the curiosity and reach for his phone, unlocking it and it opens right up to the reference picture for the painting.

You had taken pictures on this date and posted them on social media but the photo he had pulled up, this was the first time you had ever seen it. It was a photo of you, your body was facing sideways and your side profile was captured perfectly in the light. You were holding one of the yellow wildflowers in your hand and you had a white one tucked behind your ear.

He had taken a picture of you that you never knew about and your heart flutters at the whole situation. You can't even begin to try to hide the grin that spreads across your face.

He had taken a photo of you and thought it was pretty enough to make into a painting. You felt the back of your eyes burn slightly, the tears wanted to fall so badly at the sweet gesture from your boyfriend.

He always has such interesting ways of showing you his love and affection towards you, but he had never painted you. Sure, he had sketched you hundreds of times but it never made it onto a true canvas and the thought of it makes your heart swell five times.

"Happy?" Hyunjin's voice sounds from behind you. His hand strokes the back of your head, scratching your scalp slightly. You turn to him, his face only a few inches from you. He wanted to be a tsundere boyfriend so bad but he truly is the biggest softie.

"Thank you, my love," You whisper as if someone else is listening to you. His eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"For?" He questions and you lean in pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "For loving me so much," You reply and lean in again to close the gap between the two of you. He really is too cute for his own good.

Han:

In this instance, it appears you would be the tsundere. But it was completely valid! All the cocky asshole does is constantly tease you. You believe that deep down, Han Jisung just truly enjoys getting a rise out of you.

Fortunately for him, and quite unfortunately for you, he knows exactly what buttons to press to really piss. You. Off.

"Do you like me better with black or blonde hair?" Han turns his phone towards you, showing you a poll that a stay had posted of which hair color stays thought looked better on Han. You look up from your phone, blinking at the side by side photos a few times.

"They both suck," You reply before continuing on your phone.

"Well what color was my hair when you fell in love with me?" He speaks up without missing a beat, almost like he was expecting your answer. You let out a groan, letting your head fall back.

"Remind me to never compliment you again." You let out frustratedly. He was enjoying this game of teasing between the two of you far too much for your liking.

In a stupid drunken game a few nights ago, Changbin had asked you who out of the boys you thought was the most physically attractive.

"Oh Jisung, for sure," you answer without hesitation and throw another shot back, causing yelling and hooting to echo among everyone in the room, whether it is because your confession or the shot you just threw back, you have no idea.

"I don't know, princess. Seems like you really have the hots for Sungie, if you ask me," he shrugs, raising his eyebrows at you a few times before kicking his feet up on the coffee table. You roll your eyes at him for what feels like the millionth time just that day.

"Good thing I didn't ask you then, isn't it?" you reply and he laughs. "And don't call me that," you add on. Your heart already races when you're around him so the use of pet names does not help at all.

God, are you a sadist! What is with you enjoying this constant teasing and banter?! You had never been like this with anyone before but something about Han just really got to you, and he knows it.

"You don't like princess? What would you prefer? Baby? Honey? My love? Sweet girl-"

"Jisung stop!" You whine out, covering your ears quickly, feeling your face raise a hundred degrees in temperature. You can only assume you are beet red because of his assault on your heart strings.

You stand quickly, not being able to be in the same room with the man anymore. He had you wrapped right around his finger and you know that he knows it. Cocky bastard.

"Or is it that you like it too much, princess?" He speaks, standing as well to follow you into the kitchen, passing Felix sitting at the dining room table. He had hit the nail on the head but you would never let yourself admit that.

You groan again, throwing your hands in the air in frustration of not being able to get away from the man.

"Stop following me!" You exclaim as you reach the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and he leans against the counter. You glance over at Felix, his back turned to you and he was on his phone but he was likely listening to the two of you.

"I can't help it. You look so pretty from behind, princess," he was really milking this nickname and the effect it had on you was borderline embarrassing. "And this is my house," He continues and you let out an exasperated sigh.

"Bye, asshole," you start to push past him to go some where else, any where else. "Bye, princess," he replies lowly, almost seductively as you walk by him. He doesn't move out of your way and instead lets your body graze against his own, causing flames to ignite in your body and, unknown to you, his as well.

"Can you two just kiss already? Damn! I'm sick of the constant bickering and sexual tension between you two," Felix finally speaks up from his spot at the table, unable to hold it in anymore. "Are you both not sick of constantly pining after each other? It can't possibly be that entertaining," He stands from his spot and walks towards his room, leaving the awkward moment just as quickly as he created it.

You and Jisung just stand there in silence, staring at where Felix was sitting until Jisung clears his throat.

"He might be on to something," He speaks, nonchalantly and you snap your head towards him.

"Han Jisung!"

Felix:

Felix freezes again in the middle of the choreography , your eyes felt like they were boring into his skull, looking all the way at his brain. He groans, removing his hat and running a frustrated hand through his hair before putting the hat back on.

"Y/n, you have to stop looking at me. You're ruining my concentration," You blink up at Felix. He had invited you to come watch him dance for a stage that was coming up and needed an unfiltered and completely honest opinion about his dance.

However, it was not going according to plan. The two of you had been in the practice room for 45 minutes and he has yet to be able to make it through the entire dance without getting distracted by you.

"Isn’t my whole purpose of being here today to look at you though?" You stare up at him from your spot on the floor, your head falling into a tilt and Felix swears he could just melt into a puddle right there.

"Yes but stop looking at me like that," he comments and your eyebrows drop into confusion at your friend. You shake your head slightly, your lips parting.

"Lixie, I don't know what-"

"Never mind. Let me try it from the top again," he interrupts you before you continue and you nod eagerly as he walks back over to the computer to start the track over once again. Only 30 second into the dance though, he can't help his eyes falling to yours, big and glassy.

You were staring up at him so sweetly and he wanted nothing more than to see them water from how good he could make you feel...

But you are just friends so he can't help but turning to tsundere behaviors to try to gaslight himself into not daydreaming about burying himself in you every time he lays his eyes on you.

"Maybe I'm just too pretty," you tease, trying to ease the angry tension that had fallen due to his obvious frustration at not being able to get this dance down.

"It's because your eyes are boring so deep into my skull, I can feel them," he rejects your joking with an impatient tone and you tense up at the energy change. "Maybe it’s you who thinks I'm pretty," He rolls his eyes and turns back to the computer again to restart the music. "You're worse than Stays," he grumbles again as he almost reaches the computer.

You feel a slight pang in your chest at his words. It isn't that they're harsh but they are just so different from the Felix that you know and love and had surely fallen in love with.

"You're right. I do," you speak up right before he start the music and he freezes. You can see the back of his neck and ears gain a pink tint.

"Oh shut up," he replies and you can hear the slight smile in his voice. Bingo, you figured it out. You were making him nervous. You stand from your spot against the mirror and walk over to Felix.

He has in a sleeveless tank top and his shoulders, arms, and sides were basically completely exposed to you. You run your nails down the middle of his back gently, causing goosebumps to form over his shoulders and arms.

You lean in and press a kiss to the back of his exposed shoulder and he lets out a shaky breath before turning to face you. He grabs your wrist, pulling you into his body into a swift motion and you comply, pressing your chest to his. You push him back a step so he is pressed against the desk holding the computer, using your body weight to keep him in place.

You grab the brim of his hat, pulling it off his head and running your fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face. You lean into him, pulling by the back of his neck towards you until your foreheads are resting against each other.

"Can I kiss you?" You ask quietly, trying your best not to break the mood of the room. Instead of answering you, he closes the gap between you and presses his lips to yours. His hands find purchase on your hips as he deepens the kiss.

Your lips fit together like two puzzle pieces and he feels all the tension slowly flow out of his body as his tongue explores your mouth. He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours again.

"Do you want to know why I can't get this choreography right?" his fingers thread through the belt loops on either side of your jeans and you hum in response, prompting him to continue.

"I can't stop imagining how pretty you would look with your eyes filled with tears while I fuck you against the mirror," he breathes out and pulls you in to kiss you again before you even have time to process his words.

Seungmin:

You feel the chills form on your arms as you continue talking to Jeongin on the couch. You love coming and seeing the boys, especially since you have the biggest, fattest, stupidest crush on Kim Seungmin.

But, one thing you do not love about the boys house, is they keep it at a crisp 68° F (20° C), meaning that you were always cold at their house. You had left your sweat shirt in your car and we're too lazy to go all the way down to the parking lot to get it, especially as you and the youngest got into a conversation about a recent movie you had been watching.

"I don't know, Innie! I just really don't think he is that bad of a guy! I kind of understand where he is coming from," you defend the antagonist of the movie and sub consciously pull your arms tighter around yourself as Jeongin replies.

Seungmin enters the room and mutters something about ordering take out and it should be here in a little bit before heading back out the room. A few minutes later he returns and walks over to you on the couch.

"Here, stupid," he mumbles and tosses a piece of black fabric into your lap. You pick it up and look to notice that it is a hoodie of his and you look over at him as he sits in the chair across from you two and pulls out his phone.

"I ordered from that new Chinese restaurant," he pulls up the receipt to the order and tosses his phone, making it land in the cushion between the two of you. Jeongin picks up Seungmin's phone and you pull the black sweatshirt over your head. As soon as you get it on, your sense are overwhelmed with Seungmin and you can't stop the blush that takes over your face.

"Wow. He even got your order right," Jeongin turns the phone to you to show you the receipt to the order and lo and behold, the tsundere Seungmin did know your exact order, down to the sauce.

"Thank you, Minnie. For the sweatshirt and for the food," You smile at him and he makes eye contact with you for a moment before leaning over and taking his phone from the younger's hand.

"It's whatever," he mumbles and grabs his phone to get back on whatever social media he was getting on. "Where is your sweatshirt?" He asks almost disinterestedly. You can't help your smile growing at the fact that he knows you always bring a hoodie to keep you warm at their freezing house.

"Left it in the car and was too lazy to actually go get it," you reply and he hums in response before Jeongin speaks up. "Did you hear us talking about this movie, hyung? What do you think?" He prompts and Seungmin hums again, placing his phone down.

"I agree with Y/n," he replies with a shrug and stands up from his seat.

"That isn't fair! You always agree with her," Jeongin whines and he lets out a chuckle before walking out the front door. You continue your conversation in Seungmin's absence and a few minutes later the front door opens again and Seungmin reenters, placing your keys down on the coffee table in front of you, along with the takeout and your sweatshirt.

"Aw Seungmin! You love me so much," You smile excitedly at him and he rolls his eyes at you, pink creeping up his neck.

"No. I just don't need you ruining my sweatshirt with your girl smell," he 'complains' but makes no effort to make you take the sweatshirt off. Not even hours later when you accidentally fall asleep, your feet resting in Seungmin's lap as you lay across the couch, his finger tips rubbing your calf lightly. 

The other boys were forced to be subject to the movie debate and after the credits start rolling Seungmin speaks up. "That's a good movie. I can't believe I have never seen it before," he comments and Jeongin all but snaps his neck in his direction.

"But you literally said you agreed with y/n's opinion of the movie earlier!" He complains and Han laughs beside the two.

"He is down so bad," Han sing songs as Seungmin blushes, throwing a pillow in his direction. The boys were completly unaware of your rousing state amongst their arguing and you happened to hear Seungmin not denying that he was down bad for you, making your heart pound in your chest.

I.N:

"Innie, baby?" you announce yourself as you walk into the room. He is laying on his stomach on his bed and you can't help yourself from laying down on top of his body, your chest to his back and he grumbles at you, incoherently.

"Get off," he whines and starts wiggling under you with a laugh, trying to push you off of him. You comply and roll off of him, laying next to him on the bed instead.

"Don't be a meanie to me because you can't beat your stupid game," you complain and poke him in the cheek once. He chooses to ignore this statement and instead stays locked in on his game.

His lips tuck inside his mouth in concentration, causing his dimple to appear and you poke his cheek again, this time in his dimple. He leans away from you, letting out an exasperated breath, whether it was at you or his stupid game was unclear.

"Don't touch me," he whines, once again and you fall flat onto your back on the bed, spread eagle, one arm across his back and one leg across his own leg.

"But you're so cute," you try to reason, looking at his dimple and reaching up to poke it again but he leans away from you, letting a whine of your name slip past his lips. He really does get all whiny when you start acting like you actually like him.

"My whiny little baby," you grumble and throw your other arm over your eyes before continuing.

"Hour 757 with my boyfriend not giving me any attention," you pause and peak over at him. You know he is listening to you but he isn't acknowledging you in the slightest, not even sparing you a glance. You decide to continue your theatrics.

"Beginning to feel faint," you throw your arm back over your eyes dramtically, "Losing hearing in my right ear and vision in my left eye," you let out a deep sigh.

"Stop being so dramatic," he grumbles before letting out a cuss, and you hear him dying in the game.

"What was that? Sorry, you have to talk into my other ear. I'm losing hearing in this one," you roll over to your side, your back to Jeongin and let out another exasperated sigh.

You wait to hear the sound of him respawning in the game but instead you feel an arm wrap around your midsection, pulling you flush against his chest.

"So I can't touch you but you can touch me?" You question but smile nonetheless at the attention you are finally receiving. 

"My dramatic little baby," he whispers in your ear, using the same teasing tone you had used when calling him whiny. You smile before reaching back and wrapping your arm around the back of his head, letting your fingers gently rub his scalp.

"One more time? This is still my bad ear," you joke again and he chuckles against the back of your neck. 

"But I'm giving my needy girlfriend attention now. Is she not cured?" He comments and you turn your head to make eye contact with him. You hum, as if you're pondering the question before shaking your head. 

"I think it is going to take way more than one little hug to heal your needy girlfriend from all she has been through in the past 663 hours," you reply with a prompt nod.

"663? I thought it was 757 hours?" He raises his eyebrows at you and you gasp dramatically, "Oh no! It's starting to get to my brain," you smile at your boyfriend who mirrors your grin and you start to drop your arm around him and he lets out a small whine.

"I thought you didn't want me to touch you?" You question and he buries his face into your neck, "Shut up," he grumbles against your neck, before grabbing your arm and placing your hand back into his hair.

"I love you too much," he lets out quietly, careful not to break the comfortable tone of the room. You smile and turn again to face him, his eyes are big and staring at you before they dart down to your lips then back to your own eyes.

"You got a funny way of showing it Yang Jeongin," you cant help teasing him more at his tsundere behaviors.

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖Make it Stick: Pt. 2 The Princess

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Bucky x ofc x Steve

Word Count: 4331

Tags: dark!fic, mob/mafia au, mob!Bucky, mob!Steve, dubcon/noncon, sexual coercion, half-sibling incest, m/f/m, non-con drug use, mentions of torture (non graphic), double penetration, forced tattooing, forced orgasms, enemies to lovers

Summary: When his babygirl—his sweet pea, little one, puppy ... half-sister—is recaptured after her latest attempt at running away, Bucky makes a power play in front of the entire Bratva to remind her exactly who she belongs to.

Dark and smutty content below the break. Consume responsibly. Bucky and Lena’s relationship was partly inspired by that cuckoo half-sibling couple in The Crow 😅

Wait! I haven't read part 1 yet!

Brighton Beach has always belonged to the Mob.

Decades ago, it’d been the Odessa Ukrainians who reigned supreme, but Bucky’s father was a weak man, and once he’d died and Bucky had taken over leadership of the Rusă-Română Bratva at nineteen, things had changed.

In the ensuing eighteen years, he’s not only seen to it that his faction rises to the top, he’s also been ruthless enough to ensure that their dominance is never challenged, his position as the Dragon of Hydra firmly cemented.

The Dragon’s Den is one of many businesses under his direct control. It’s a popular club in its own right, located on a busy strip of similar nightlife lining the two hundred block of Neptune Ave., and acting as the unofficial epicenter of Hydra operations.

Extra bouncers have been placed outside tonight to weed out the undesirables, but even with the modified guest list due to the night’s more … illicit activities, it’s still as packed as ever. The downstairs is filled with bodies, booze, and music in no time.

At first glance, it really could be any other night, but look a little further, and the incongruencies are readily apparent. Bucky’s had everything set up in the back, a space no more than ten feet by ten. It’s just a corner, not some stage or grandiose point of focus. It’s not like they have the lights all trained on them or anything dramatic like that. Viewing isn’t mandatory by any means. … But what he’s doing is also right there for anyone who wants to look over and see. And he’s under no illusion that every single soul present doesn't know what’s going on—either because they’re watching it, or because they’re making sure to pointedly not watch it. Tongues have been wagging ever since they'd tied up Gleb and dragged Lena out.

He starts with Gleb, putting all his “tools” within view of the poor bastard but not using much more than his fists and his words. He gets a gut punch in, breaks a finger or two. Kid stuff. Bucky’s never been overly enthusiastic about torture, but you don’t hold control over any faction of organized crime if you can’t at least make yourself comfortable with it. Bucky can appreciate it for what it is, and for the nastier stuff he’s got his specialists. Besides, sheer terror and anticipation can be just as crucial to putting on a good show as anything else. Gleb’s been a crying, sniveling mess since three minutes in, so Bucky’s halfway disgusted and halfway satisfied. Mostly, he’s just discouraged that his little one has been letting such a weak man stick his prick in her. Ugh.

He takes his time, stepping away to have a drink or to chat with someone every once in a while. Bucky usually enjoys his Friday nights lounging and socializing amongst his friends and associates, after all, and he’s not about to sacrifice his entire evening to Gleb.

The Den is Bucky’s home away from home. He even has private quarters above—an amenity he’s taken frequent advantage of after many a night spent overindulging. In his youth, when he’d been new to power and Polina had been nothing but an irrelevant child of his father’s second wife, the luxury accommodations had hosted Bucky’s escapades with dozens of the most beautiful women that Brooklyn had to offer.

But that lifestyle changed once Lena came of age eight years later.

Bucky hasn’t touched another woman—hasn’t wanted to touch another woman—in the decade since, his obsessive love for her often resisted but always returned, despite her token protests. It’s an open secret, considered fodder for gossip amongst the wives. Bucky doesn’t see why anybody should be shocked. He’s always wanted things that he knows are off limits. His little one included.

She’s finally back, and Bucky is more thrilled at that than he is about anything else. Of course Gleb’s betrayal can’t go unaddressed, but Bucky’s working him over more out of obligation than any true recreational interest. He’s got him tied to a pipe. The man is panting and breathing open-mouthed at this point, some of his blood on the plastic sheeting from the fist he’d taken to the nose to start off their evening together. He’s sweating through his undershirt like a pig.

Bucky himself has been naked from the waist up ever since Natasha returned to deliver the requested transfer sheet and blithely remarked that he was “seeping” through his shirt. Normally, aftercare would see her slathering him in ointment and taping bandages over the raw skin, but Nat’s pissed at him and she’s not offering, and he’s pissed at her for being pissed at him, so he’s not asking. He just chucks the shirt when it becomes a lost cause to the blood, plasma and sweat. Whatever. It's hot in here, anyways. And he knows Lena is looking her fill whenever he turns back on her to go focus on Gleb, which is even more satisfying.

It’s because of her that he hasn’t done anything too gruesome. As a rule, Bucky usually leaves the worst of his torturing to those who have a better taste for it (the widows). And while he fully intends to make Gleb hurt before he’s given his very own pair of cement shoes, Bucky still doesn’t want to do anything too traumatizing in front of his main audience.

He walks back over to where Steve has her. He’s been holding her still against his chest, Bucky’s own tie looped around her neck and gripped in Steve’s fist behind her back, his other hand wrapped around her waist to keep her still as she plays her part in the demonstration.

Bucky stands mere inches in front of her and sips his drink, letting his eyes rake over her form. “You haven’t been eating enough, sweet pea. We’ll have to fatten you back up.”

Her lip curls. “You’re such a fucking pervert.”

“Takes one to know one.” He leers at her even longer for the snark, letting his free hand trail lightly along the curve of one silk-covered breast. She’s small. Barefoot like this she barely comes up to his chin. But she’s got a fat ass and a bitty waist that’ve always made Bucky want to do bad things to her, even when they were younger. Lena is blonde like her mother had been, with pale skin and other Nordic traits that set her apart from the darker hues and Slavic features that most of Bucky’s family sport.

How could he ever have been expected to keep his hands off of something so tempting?

She’s beautifully disheveled right now: hair fallen loose from however she had it up before Belova tranqued her and Pietro stuffed her on a jet, body barely kept decent in some slip of a dress that Steve’s put her in, tears already making her mascara run in grey-black tracks down her cheeks. Bucky’s always had a kink for watching pretty girls cry. “You should smile,” he tells her, mocking her by sticking his lip out in a pout. “People’ll think you aren’t having fun. This is your party, after all.”

“What are we celebrating?” she says, her effort at sass somewhat hindered by the waver in her voice. She’s not as brave as she wants him to think she is, but the front she insists on putting up makes Bucky’s heart twinge in fondness. His stubborn puppy.

“We’re celebrating your glorious and long-awaited homecoming, of course,” he coos. “All these nice folks? They showed up just to welcome you back.” He leans in to kiss her cheek, lingering there to whisper right against her skin, “And I missed you too, sweet pea. You got no idea how much.” He feels her shiver before she hisses at him, like a cat. He pulls back and gives her an assessing frown. “You’re so uptight,” he scolds. “Never did know how to let go and have a good time. I’ve always had to help you relax, haven’t I?”

Her pale skin colors beautifully. It takes her a moment to recover, but when she does she tries to hit him where it hurts, simpering a snotty little, “Oh, I don’t know. I was having a pretty good time on your yacht.”

Anger sweeps through Bucky, white hot and thrilling. Little Polina Barnes thinks she’s good at pissing him off. She is, but she’s got no idea how much her brattiness turns him on, too. If she did, she might think twice about opening her smart mouth (and Bucky can’t have that, he’d be so bored). Aside from her new penchant for leaving the flipping country, he’s always kind of enjoyed the thrill of hunting her down and dragging her naughty butt home.

But Belize is taking it too far. His yacht is taking it too far. And letting another man touch her is way beyond too fucking far. Bucky needs to reel his Little one in.

He sets the rim of his glass to her lips, tutting when she only glares up at him. “Don’t be that way, Lena. C’mon, have some. I want to see you loosen up a little.” She just presses her lips tighter together, and Bucky feels his cock thicken in his pants as he imagines using it to pry that prissy mouth wide open. He gives her a knowing smile. “No? Hm.” He finishes off the drink himself and sets it aside. He grabs her face and thumbs roughly over her lower lip, smearing the matte red of her lipstick down onto her chin. “Have it your way, Puppy. Steven?” he says, not looking at the man holding her still. “You’ve got our party favors?”

“In my left pocket,” Steve says, not reaching for them himself because he’s holding Lena’s waist and the tie wrapped around her throat. He’s not choking her, but the pressure on her neck has another effect. Bucky knows a few dirty secrets about his Little one that he’s sure she wishes he didn’t, namely that having a firm grip around her neck gets her wet. Bucky smirks and keeps his eyes on hers as he takes the liberty of reaching around her body and slipping his hand into Steve’s pocket. His fingers find the small shapes and close around them.

“Here we go,” he murmurs, pulling his hand back and holding the items up for Lena to see, chuckling when her face goes slack in shock. Her cheeks darken in a fierce blush and she starts tugging against Steve’s hold with renewed effort. It gets her nowhere of course, and Bucky and Steve share a brief amused look from over her shoulder. Bucky steps closer and pins her between them, hands stroking over her shoulders. “You didn’t think I brought you here just to watch Gleb get his, did you sweetheart? Oh, no.” He shakes his head slowly. “Mm mn. You’re gonna get yours, too.” He puts his lips to her ear and looks in Steve’s eyes while he whispers, “How long do you think before you’re cumming in front of all these people?”

Her struggles intensify, and she tries to head butt Steve behind her, but of course she’s too short for it. She huffs when his grip only tightens and she runs out of steam. “Ugh!”

“Don’t fight it,” Steve tells her, and she sneers back at him.

“Still playing the loyal dog, Steven?”

“Eh, I prefer attack dog. But sure.” He winks at Bucky and bares his teeth in a fake snarl. Bucky laughs. He really does love Steve.

“Ugh! Lemme go, you pathetic dumbass!”

“Hey. Don’t you be mean to Steve. He’s only doing his job.” Bucky puts the smallest of the three party favors in his mouth, letting it sit on his tongue and gripping Lena’s jaw hard to force her to open up for him. He shoves his tongue in, delivering the pill against her will and moaning theatrically to make her even more outraged. He holds her mouth shut after, pinching her nose until she finally capitulates and swallows. Only then does he allow her to have air, tutting in mock sympathy as she regains her breath. “What’s the matter, puppy? What’s got you so worked up, hm? I know it’s not whatshisface back there. Is it just being back home?” He cradles her face and murmurs tenderly, “Did you really think I wouldn’t find you?”

Her face crumples and she sobs a little, the sound hardly audible in the room's loudness, but Bucky couldn’t possibly miss it when he’s this tuned in to her. He kisses her again, this time very gently, letting their lips rest together for a moment afterwards; and he can feel the way she has to fight the urge to lean into it, to seek more. She absolutely despises him, but she has an enduring need for him as well, and she’s never been very good at hiding it.

“Tell me you missed me,” he breathes, his own desire winning out over the game for just a moment. “Please. What’s it gonna hurt to admit it?

“I hate you.”

“Mm. I know, Love, I know.” He brushes his lips against hers. “But you missed me all the same. Missed this.” He lets his hand trail down between her legs, working up underneath the silk of her slip. She whimpers and begs tearfully,

“No! Bucky, don’t.”

"Don't?" His fingers trail over the seam of her panties and he hums knowingly. "Your fancy panties are getting wet, Sweetheart. Did you wear these for me, or for your loverboy back there?"

“People will see!” she hisses.

“So? Let them see. You think anyone's going to step forward and stop me? Hm? Think somebody in this room is going to tell their дракон that he can’t touch what’s his? Because it’s what? Indecent?” He chuckles, thoroughly enjoying her humiliation. “Mm mn. You know that’s not happening, Princess.”

“Don’t. Please. Just … not here. Take me upstairs.”

For a second, Bucky actually pulls back to look at her face. But then he sees what it is she’s uncomfortable about, her pained expression flicking over to Gleb’s bound form behind them. Bucky feels jealous rage shoot through him. He’s always been meaner when he’s jealous. “You don’t want him to see?” he grits, then forces himself to soften his tone. “Oh, no no no. You can’t hide it anymore, puppy. Not from him or anyone else. I know what you like,” he reminds, cruel and quiet. “You know just how well I know.”

He’d bugged her devices starting when she was fifteen. He knows every dirty thing she’s ever watched, from the time she first learned how to touch herself. And his Little one knows this because he’s told her. It’d been the most satisfying moment of his life, when he’d told her that he felt the same way and watched the shock and mortification bloom on her face. That was the day he’d finally made her his—though he’d forced her to admit every single one of her filthy little fantasies out loud before he laid her down and took her virginity.

“I know how you like to feel owned,” he whispers in her ear, thrilling at the hitches it elicits in her breathing. “How you like to feel watched while powerful men touch you. What better way to satisfy those urges than by being taken by the Dragon, right in front of all his men?”

“Please don’t. You can’t.”

“What can’t I do?” he purrs, and she cries softly,

“You can’t, please. Because they know …”

“They know what?” he coaxes, wanting her to say it. He peeks up and looks at Steve from over her shoulder. “Know that you’re my sister?” he whispers. Steve’s eyes darken and Bucky's mouth curls. “Well, that shouldn’t bother you either, puppy. You and I both know your affinity for all those naughty step-sibling videos.” She whines miserably and he hushes her. “Aw, don’t be embarrassed. It’s actually a really popular genre. Number … seven, on Pornhub?” He kisses her cheek. “Right up there with M/F/M threesomes.”

Adorably, her breath catches and she stiffens against Steve’s body, now even more aware of his hulking form behind her.

Bucky hums, pleased. “There’s no need to be ashamed.” He peels her panties to the side and slips the tip of one finger along her lips. She’s not exactly soaked, but she’s not completely dry, either. “Of course, actual brother-sister incest isn’t quite as popular, but we know there’s a niche market for everything, don’t we?” Lena makes an outraged little sound that goes straight to his dick. He leans back enough to watch her expression as he holds up the second of the party favors for her to see. It’s white and thin, less than two inches long, and shaped like an itty bitty torpedo. “Something else to help you loosen up,” he tells her gleefully. “Do you want to take a guess where this one goes?”

She makes an adorable ‘meep’ of a sound and clamps her legs closed over his hand. “Don’t.”

He laughs. “Aw, good guess, little sis’, but not quite.”

“Step-sister,” she corrects shakily. “Bucky ...”

He smiles as he tries to read her, confused and tentative at first, but then growing into something devious. “Oh, I see. You’re honestly embarrassed about that? That people know we grew up together, shared the same house? Mmm." He licks his lips. "That’s not all we shared.”

"Stop it."

He watches her, thrilling in a huge surge of lust mixed with something dark and nasty. “Wow,” he astounds, goading her. “Oh boy. Just think what you’d do if they all knew the truth.”

“Bucky please.”

“Steve knows, you know. I told him forever ago.” He watches her eyes go wide and her body stiffen against Steve’s.

“You … you told …”

“Oh, don’t worry, sweet pea. He thinks it’s hot, too.” Lena looks honestly too shocked for words, and Bucky leans down to give her an absolutely filthy kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth and holding her jaw there for it while, between her legs, he drags the suppository through her moist folds. She squeaks, and he pulls back. He lets her see him handing it to Steve. “Will you do the honors, pal?”

“What?” Lena breathes, lost. The sweet, dumb thing.

Steve keeps hold of the tie wrapped around her neck, but he has to let go of her waist to get at her. Bucky’s able to grab her just as she starts to try and fight it. “Ah ah ah, hold still,” he coos, yanking her wrists down at her sides in an iron grip. He steps even closer, squeezing her between his body and Steve's to subdue her wiggling, pressing his thigh forward between her legs. She freezes when her fighting just puts more pressure on her clit, and Bucky hums, pleased. “Good. Be a good girl now, Lena. We don’t want this to hurt.”

She goes straight back to struggling, and Steve shoots him a peeved look from over her shoulder. Bucky growls and sticks his face in her hair, warning lowly, “You know: there’s a syringe of morphine waiting in the wings for your boy back there.” Lena stills again, and he hums, “That’s right. Now, if you want him to actually get it before I let the widows have at him, then you’d better stop fighting and take what’s coming to you.” She sobs at the corner he’s got her backed into, but she doesn’t go back to fighting them. Bucky keeps her in his firm grip so that Steve can get to work behind her. “And you were wrong, puppy: It doesn’t go in your pussy.”

It’s too late for her to react. By the time her eyes widen in realization, Steve’s hand is already at her backside.

Bucky grinds his thigh forward as her pupils expand from the feeling, the bundle of aphrodisiacs summarily pushed up inside her tight little pucker. “You keep that in, now,” he warns. “You should start feeling it in the next few minutes, then I’ll give you your real consequence.”

She sobs quietly. “I hate you.”

“Old hat, baby.” He steps away from her, leaving Steve to keep her in place. The promise of lessening Gleb’s upcoming pain seems to be motivating her to behave. Bucky walks back over to the pole where he's got the sad sack tied up. Just to scare the crap out of him, he spends a moment tracing all the different tools that’ve been laid out for their use.

“Please,” Gleb begs.

“Shshsh,” Bucky coos, stepping close and cradling his face, intimate. “You fucked my baby sister,” he says. “What did you think was going to happen when I got a hold of you, hm?” Gleb trembles in his bindings and Bucky reaches for the pliers—a classic. Gleb’s eyes all but bug out of his head. “Colectăm mereu,” Bucky purrs in Romanian, reminding him who he’s dealing with. “You stole from the Bratva, son. Now you have to pay the price.”

“Please. I-I’ll do anything!”

He punches him in the gut, then grabs him by the hair and hisses in his face, “You already did everything! Took what belonged to me. Not very smart.”

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

He punches him again. "I sure hope that pussy was worth it.” He smiles while Gleb is trying to regain his breath. “Eh, it probably was. I should know.” Gleb squints in disbelief, and Bucky feels another perverse thrill shoot through him. “What?" he laughs. "Don’t look at me like that. I thought you knew. She didn’t tell you she likes to fuck her brother?”

Gleb’s face screws up. “Stepbrother.”

“You know, I’m getting real tired of that misconception,” Bucky drawls, turning back around to get a look at his Little one’s face. Her head is tipped back against Steve’s shoulder, the drugs working into her system by now. Bucky grins. “I told you I’d get you to loosen up, didn’t I? Big brother knows how to make you relax.” He tosses the pliers aside and saunters slowly back over to her. "I just told Gleb about us,” he says. “But I think it’s about time we make a more public announcement, don’t you, sweet pea?”

Her eyes widen. “Bucky, no.”

He grins wolfishly and spins around. He calls out to get everyone’s attention, and in a few seconds everything has quieted, the room eerily devoid of chatter despite the continuing pulse of the club’s music. Bucky goes over to the bar and demands something to toast with, and a flute of champagne is produced with shocking speed. He turns back to the room. “Thank you all for coming out tonight to help me welcome our beloved Polina back home!”

Some people clap, perhaps expecting some long, heartfelt speech. But Bucky cuts to the chase and says, “I’m sure you all know about she and I.” He waits, amused and sipping the champagne. When the crowd shifts nervously, he waves his hand at them and scoffs. “I mean that’s common knowledge, right? Everybody’s tongues were wagging when my father dumped my mother to marry his whore.”

He gestures back to where Steve is holding Lena, supporting her increasingly drugged little body. “Sweet little Polina was only a few years old, back then. And my dad’s infidelity wasn’t her fault." He shrugs. "So I inherited a bratty little sister. I guess the fact that we were still both kids makes the whole thing even juicer, huh? I know you all talk about it: 'The Dragon likes to fuck his own step-sister'. How scandalous.”

He laughs and walks back over to Lena. He caresses her face, leaning in to give her a dirty kiss with plenty of tongue. The crowd murmurs louder. Bucky pulls back and looks out at the room. “The Bratva wives love a good scandal. Don’t you, ladies?” A few of the wives in the crowd look flustered at being called out. Bucky salutes them with his champagne glass. “Well you’re in for a real treat, my dears. Because little Lena back here isn’t just my step-sister. Oh no.”

(Bucky’s always liked putting on a show, so he’s unfazed when making the actual announcement makes his cock harden further in his pants.)

“You see, dear old Dad was fucking around with his pretty shlyukha for a few years before he finally married her, and you know he even knocked her up.” The room goes absolutely silent, and Bucky feels a sick thrill go through him. “That’s right,” he croons, looking back over his shoulder at the stricken expression on his Little one’s face. “This sweet pea isn’t just my step-sibling: she’s my father’s daughter.”

It takes a surprisingly short amount of time before the crowd goes back to chattering, everybody staring wide eyed—some with disgust, others with excitement over this incredible new thing they have to be outraged over. Bucky shouts at the bartender to hand out champagne to anyone who wants it. He toasts the room. “To Polina!” Only a few dozen people raise their glasses and murmur in response, too shocked to know what to do in light of this revelation. Bucky really doesn’t give a crap. This is just a display of his power, just another way to show them—and her—that he can do whatever the fuck he wants and nobody is going to do a thing to stop him. The room slowly returns to the bustle of before, and Bucky returns to stand in front of his girl. “See puppy?” he taunts, lifting the champagne flute to her mouth. “I told you nobody would care.”

It’s a lie. Everybody cares, of course. But his point has been made. He watches as she willingly drinks the champagne. “Good girl,” he praises, setting the empty glass aside. He cups Lena’s face and gives her a tender kiss. “Now, why don’t we give them a show, huh?”

“Bucky,” she whispers, a plea.

But he can see her body relaxing into Steve’s hold despite her mortification, the drugs softening her up just like Bucky’s been waiting for. He pulls the remaining party favor from his pocket and holds it up for her to see. “Don’t worry,” he coos. “Your punishment isn’t going to hurt nearly as bad as Gleb’s.”

He turns the base of the tiny pocket vibrator on and starts it buzzing. “Now, let’s get you really begging, why don’t we?”

Part 3

Masterlist

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[skzhua]

Caroling to my Heart

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Lee Minho x Female!Reader

Genre: Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Christmas love story, angst, fluff.

Word Count: 14,653

Warnings: Swearing, talks of regrets, mentions of alcohol, heartbreaks.

Summary: Christmas is meant to be spent with your loved ones. Minho stopped loving a long time ago.

A/N: Credits to my boyfriend for the general idea of the plot (story is all me, though)

November nearing its end, Chrismas was approaching quickly. Children playing in the snow, shops filled with decorations to sell for the holidays, sales everywhere for presents shopping, music playing everywhere you go; truly the most wonderful time of the year.

At least, that's what most people think.

Chan has always loved Christmas. He always took it as an opportunity to gather up with his college friends with whom life was always enjoyable. Jeongin had recently gotten a promotion at work which he took very seriously, Hyunjin finally opened his dog rescue center a few years back, Felix was happily getting married in the following spring, Seungmin had finally started to get recognition for his stand up comedy shows, Changbin had entered a production company with Chan, and Jisung was finally seeing someone after not daring to date for years.

And then, there is Minho.

Him and Chan used to be the closest friends ever, and Minho was always the life of the party. He messed around in college, got good grades, made his way up to become a successful lawyer. Overall, things had turned out pretty well for him.

What Minho considered as his biggest accomplishment was his lover. The apple of his eyes, the prettiest woman he had ever laid eyes upon, the sunshine of his life. Y/N was in the same major as him, one of the top students. It started out as a very typical college love story. He was annoying her, she found him funny, they were paired for a project, they got closer, and they got together in a matter of weeks. From that point, life was perfect. They moved out together after college, adopted a ton of cats, went on so many trips outside of the country... they even got engaged.

That was until Minho messed it all up, losing everything he loved the most in one go.

Ding dong.

Jumping at the sound, Minho takes a second to recover and puts the movie he was watching on pause. He checks the clock; it is 7 o'clock in the evening. He wasn't expecting anybody to visit him. Nonetheless, he goes over his front door and looks into the peephole. He isn't surprised to see Chan waiting patiently with a plastic bag in hands. He rolls his eyes in annoyance before letting his friend in, greeting him boringly.

"Hey, Chan," he says before yawning loudly.

The older man looks him up and down, analyzing every bit of his friend's appearance. "Wow, you look like shit."

Minho doesn't answer, giving Chan the death stare instead. "What do you want?"

"Well," he starts while allowing himself to get comfortable on the couch. "Jisung is presenting his new girlfriend to us and because you didn't answer in the group chat, I thought I would check on you."

"Tonight? No, I have to get up early tomorrow."

Chan's shoulders drop as Minho, once again, declines an invitation. "You haven't come to see us in months."

Minho shrugs, visibly not seeing a problem. "I'm just very busy. I have cases coming in all the time and I can't trust my associate to work on them."

"You're overworking yourself, a break would do you some good. Besides, we miss you."

It's not that he doesn't want to see his friends, of course he does. He just knows very well he'll only end up ruining the night by not being the funny guy he used to be.

"I don't know."

Chan takes a nicely ironed shirt out of his plastic bag and puts it on the coffee table in front of him, and stands up to walk to the door. "You're welcomed to drop by if you change your mind. It's at the restaurant we used to go in college."

"Why the shirt?" Minho's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Consider it as an early Christmas gift from me."

After throwing a small smile his way, Chan opens the door and leaves. Minho finds himself alone again, perplexed. He approaches the shirt and scrutinizes it. It's a designer piece which does not surprise him, Chan has always been the kind to go an extra mile for his loved ones. Looking at the clock again, it indicates 7:20 P.M. Does he still have time to go? It would mean he has to shower, get dressed, drive all the way to the restaurant... Right, that specific restaurant.

He will visit his friends, just not tonight.

2 years ago.

Christmas was the most important holiday to Y/N. It brought so much nostalgia to her and she absolutely adored every aspect of it. Baking cookies and go ice skating were part of the many activities she loved doing in December.

This was also the first year she had to spend it away from her family. She didn't regret choosing to study so far away from home but it hurt nonetheless. It would be difficult and Minho knew that.

Y/N had to work an extra shift that night if she wanted the day of Christmas Eve off. It was ridiculous, she thought. As if the restaurant really needed her to stay so late. Coming home, Y/N was so glad to finally be able to relax as she climbed up the stairs.

Meanwhile, Minho was waiting excitedly at the front door of their shared apartment. He made sure the gingerbread cookies were all ready to be assembled to construct a house, checked if the Christmas lights were working fine, and put a playlist of Y/N's favourite holiday songs on his speaker.

"Soonie!" he yelled frantically at his cat as he saw him get on the counter. "You don't want to ruin your mama's night, do you?"

He picked him up and brought it close to his body, petting his head lovingly. Needless to say, this couldn't be a cuter sight to have when Y/N walked in.

"Hey, my two favourite boys," she chuckled at them before taking in how well-decorated the home was. "Min, did you set up all this?"

Her boyfriend put his pet down before bringing her into his arms. "I did. You've been feeling off recently, I thought it'd be a good idea to cheer you up. And since Christmas is next week, why not decorate cookies for the occasion?"

"You made gingerbread cookies?!"

Y/N's eyes lit up from seeing the baked goods and she rushed to go sit at the counter. Minho smiled at himself, proud he had managed to lit up her inner light just a little.

"Thank Felix for these."

"Well, thank you Felix."

Present.

Minho remembers every night she came home from that workplace. He always tried to make her feel better each time, Y/N despised working so late but she somehow always stayed positive.

How much he misses her.

Minho gasps for air, sweat all over his body. He had another nightmare, nothing unusual. What is odd is the phone ringing nonstop at this hour of the day; 4 o'clock. Who in their right mind would call someone so early?

"What?"

The person on the other side of line doesn't respond, Minho can only hear them breathe unsteadily.

"Hello?"

"Minho," Jisung finally speaks. "Sorry to bother you this early."

"It's 4:00 A.M."

"I know, I know. Just, I'm getting worried about you and I can't call you tomorrow –well, today–  or you'll say you're busy with work as always. You're not okay and I think you could use a friend."

Although not wrong, his statement fueled Minho with annoyance and frustration. He doesn't need help, or anyone for that matter.

"Minho?" Jisung speaks up again as he doesn't get a response.

"Good night, Jisung," he simply says with the intention of hanging up.

"Wait!" he hurries to stop him. "If you don't want to talk for your own sake, at least do it for mine. Not just mine, the other guys' too."

Sure, Minho hates talking about his feelings. Still, he's not a monster and cares a lot about his friends nonetheless. Feeling a bit obligated, he agrees.

"So, uhm, who's your new girlfriend?" he asks, getting uncomfortable already.

"She's a friend of Jeongin. Remember that girl he worked with in college? Well, that's her. She's so nice, I wonder why Jeongin hadn't introduced me to her sooner. She kind of reminds me of..." he trails off but stops himself before stepping out of line.

"I'm happy for you two. I'm sorry I couldn't come."

Jisung lets out a huff. "Thank you but I know you could have, you just didn't want to."

"That's not-"

"Don't lie, Minho," he cuts him off. "You didn't come because of her, am I right? Because of Y/N again?"

Minho can feel his heart tighten while his friends keeps going at it, insisting on speaking about her. He doesn't want to, is it so hard to understand?

"Let's not talk about her."

"That's the problem, Minho. You never want to open up about it."

"She left. What is there more to say?"

"How you're coping with all, how we can help-"

"The only thing you can do to help is leave me alone. I'm doing just fine. Talking was a bad idea, I should go back to bed."

"Min..." Jisung says in a desperate voice.

"Good night."

As he hangs up, he can sense it might have gone too far. Regardless, he discards his phone on his nightstand and buries his body in his bedsheets. He hears meowing coming from the entrance of his room. A second later, his cat Dori jumps on the mattress to come and lay next to him. Minho reluctantly cuddles the cat back, his last one he got with Y/N. Dori is technically her baby but she left so suddenly that Minho had no other choice but to keep him.

"Where are your brothers?" he whispers affectionately to the ball of fur who replies with some more purring. "Are Soonie and Doongie sleeping too?"

Chan is probably the only one able to get Minho out of his house, especially during Christmas time. Maybe it is guilt or shame that he feels, but Minho hasn't been so great ever since he had his early chitchat with Jisung. Shopping for presents wasn't what he had in mind when he thought of making up for it but Chan insisted it would be a good idea.

"Look," he says while pointing at the pig plush on the top of the pile. "It looks like Changbin."

Minho shrugs. "I guess it does."

"What about this?"

He looks boringly at the shirt Chan is showing. Yeah, maybe he should have done something else to make the most of his day off. A good meal at home seems so much more appealing to him.

"Come on," Chan encourages him. "Enjoy a bit."

"I am enjoying, look," Minho tries to convince him with a forced smile.

"Hmm, maybe it's time to go to the food court and take a break."

Dragging his friend behind, Chan moves from restaurant to restaurant in search of a meal for his lunch. After a while of debating internally, he settles for a hamburger. As for Minho, rice with pork seems to be tasty enough. They sit at a table and start to eat in silence. Minho looks around the place, watching people chat and laugh. He sees one couple in particular and they remind him too much of Y/N. Adverting his gaze from this spot, he focuses back on his food before speaking.

"I was thinking of buying a new hoodie for Jisung."

Chan is surprised his friend is even conversing with him but smiles. "A hoodie? Doesn't he have plenty of them already?"

"He does but he sent me a picture of one specifically the other day."

"Then you should buy it for him. Have you heard from him, by the way?"

Minho gulps. "No."

Although suspicious, Chan doesn't push it. They quickly finish their lunch and decide to head towards a clothing store to find Jisung's present. At a certain point, they unconsciously part ways as they look at different pieces of clothing. Minho would look for Chan but he has the hoodie to find. Chan is fine on his own anyway, he tells himself. He goes to the right section and begins to browse through each item. He frowns as he inspects them, not convinced these would be appropriate for his friend.

"Minho?"

He freezes in place. Has he gone crazy or has he just heard Y/N's voice?

"Minho," she says again.

Finally turning around, he is somewhat relieved that it isn't his former girlfriend, but her sister. "Deena," he greets her politely.

"It's been a while, wow. How have you been?" she asks cheerfully, too much in his opinion.

"Nothing much."

She seems taken aback by the short length of his answer. Minho used to be the nicest man she knows. Of course, she doesn't know the full story about what happened. Nonetheless, she still considers Minho as family. So seeing him so lifeless in front of her is quite a shocker.

"I'm in a bit of a rush but we should go grab coffee soon and catch up," she suggests but from the look on Minho's face, she knows she shouldn't have.

"I'm pretty busy."

"Alright," she answers, uneasy. "I'll see you around then."

"Yeah."

Without adding anything, he resumes to looking through the hoodies. Deena eventually leaves and Minho feels like he can breathe again.

He has nothing against his former "sister-in-law" but seeing her so unexpectedly is not something he has prepared himself for. He will go grab a coffee with her when he feels ready to.

Chan comes back a few minutes after with a couple of black shirts and an oversized pair of jeans he picked for Jeongin. As they wait to pay for their things, Minho can feel that Chan has something to say. It wasn't an abnormal occurrence but this time feels like it's eating him inside.

"What is it?"

Chan hesitates for a second. "It was Deena, right?"

He hums. "Yes."

"I'm running out of ways to tell you appropriately but you need to get your shit together. The girl did nothing to you and she seemed to be on the verge of crying when she left the store."

Minho rolls his eyes, like always. "What do you want me to do? Run after her and apologize? I didn't do anything."

"Exactly. Dude, everyone around you is getting sick of your way of dealing with what happened. Sure, your feelings are valid. This doesn't mean you have to inflict your pain onto us. We only want to help," Chan responds, not realizing his tone is increasing more and more.

"Always wanting to play the good savior, uh?" Minho scoffs. "In front of strangers too? Look, I don't need you to tell me how to be. You're not my dad or anything."

"I took you under my wing in college, of course I'm still looking out for you."

"That was back then. I don't need your pity anymore."

Chan's jaw clenches as the two men stare right into the eye. The cashier awkwardly calls for them to proceed to payment which breaks their staring contest. They hurry to pay before storming out of the mall, both of them fuming with anger. The moment they get into Chan's car, the latter explodes.

"This has lasted long enough. How long has it been now? A year?"

"Eleven months," Minho corrects.

"Whatever, same difference. My point is that it might be time for you to move on or at least stop being such a pain in the ass."

Minho's eyebrows raise as he lets out a chuckle. "I didn't know such strong words could come out of your mouth."

"Minho," Chan says in a warning tone.

"So what if I'm not as easygoing as before? You don't understand how it feels anyway."

"Help me understand, then!"

"You just wouldn't!"

He surprised himself by yelling so harshly. The hint of regret creeps up but he tries to hide it by looking away. They both know this is the end of this conversation, neither want to continue anyway. Chan starts the car and the ride home can't be any worse. The tension is so heavy, he swears he feels his body crushing.

Still in silence, he drops Minho off in front of his apartment complex and drives away. Face blank, Minho goes in his building and lazily enters the elevator. It's like he's in a daze, not fully aware of himself. Before he knows it, he's back home sitting at his counter with three cats waiting patiently in front of him as they expect him to fill their bowls with food. But he remains still and stares at nothing in particular. Has he gone too far this time?

In all of the people he knows, Chan is the last one he would have thought to snap at him so harshly. Most importantly, he never thought he'd yell at him for no reason. For the first time in a while, Minho allows one single tear drop from his eye.

Christmas has come. Well, almost. Work has been the same and no contact have been made with anyone for the last week or so. The lack of human interaction felt both good and bad, but mostly aching.

Every day is the same, Minho realizes. Waking up, eating a very mediocre peanut butter toast with coffee, scrolling through his feed on social medias, getting dressed, going to work, bossing his ass off in return of a less than decent pay, coming back home, eating, washing up, going to bed, sleeping, only to do the same all over again the next day.

In a way, he loves not having to think about planning things out. On the other hand, his life is becoming more and more dull with less of a purpose. Why is he alive for if it's only to do the same task over and over again?

For a change, Minho decides to start a Christmas film instead of rotating watches of the same five movies. A mistake he does is not reading the synopsis before pushing play on the remote. He settles comfortably on his couch while Soonie and Doongie cuddle next to him. Dori is somewhere nearby, playing with a piece of paper Minho had dropped on the floor earlier that week.

At first, the show is boring he thinks. The more the story develops, however, the more he sees the resemblance between himself and the protagonist. The movie is A Christmas Carol, one Y/N once had begged him to watch with her. Scrooge is very unlikable, there is no denying in that. But Minho tries to ignore the similarities he shares with him and keeps on watching the screen in silence. At some point, it simply became impossible to ignore the tightness in his chest. In an abrupt move, he turns the TV off, picks up his two cats, and heads to bed.

Christmas is so near, he thinks as he is watching his alarm clock getting closer to midnight. He really does his best to not make a big deal out of it but his mind can't stop having these images of Y/N, his friends, Christmas... everything. He can't escape pain, no matter what.

Thankfully, Dori comes in his room to join the other felines which distracts him for a second, just long enough so he can finally fall asleep.

The clock indicates 11:55 P.M. when Minho is in a deep sleep and the only sounds that can be heard throughout the whole flat are the appliances running and the cats snoring. Maybe some snores are coming from the man himself but they are faint. Slowly, Doongie wakes up. He wiggles around to find a new comfortable position but fails and falls off the bed. Luckily, cats always land on their feet. He was going to hop back on the bed but a weird sound catches his attention. It sounds like a bell. Curious, he comes out of the room in attempt to find where it comes from. But nothing. Or maybe there is something.

A faint light can be perceived from the bottom of the front door. The cat carefully gets closer, lowering his body. In a single snap, something flies right from under the door and moving straight into Minho's room which scares Doongie well enough to go hide in his cat tree and let out a cry.

This immediately wakes Minho up as his instinctive cat dad senses take over but it is soon replaced with an unsettling feeling as he sees the bright light in front of him. He squints as it almost blinds him but he wants to know what it is. He can feel his heartbeat increase by the second as the source of light gets closer and closer. Holding his breath, he shut his eyes closed and moves his head away from whatever that is. Until he hears a sigh too familiar to his liking.

He dares to open his eyes and his shoulders drop at the sight. "Chan?"

It's not exactly Chan, it is more of a ghost-like version of him. He wears a very formal suit with his hair styled with gel and his body is translucent, making Minho very skeptical. This is a dream, he thinks. Chan is very much alive and very much not in his apartment. Certainly not after the events of the other day.

"I see you didn't even reach out to me."

Minho frowns and looks around the room as if to make sure he really is speaking to him. "What do you mean?"

Chan chuckles, his voice sounding more like an echo. "After our fight, dumbass! Come on, you weren't going to leave things as it is until Christmas."

He checks his alarm clock quickly. "Well, it is Christmas."

"In five minutes," Chan smirks at him. "I know the past few months have been hard on you."

"Great, even my subconscious is trying to fix me," he whispers to himself, loud enough that the ghost-like figure hears it.

"As in a dream?" Minho nods to the question only for Chan to laugh some more. "You're funny. Anyway, I'm not here for fun. I'm here to help you."

"You tried that already," Minho grumbles in an annoyed voice but receives a shook of the head as an answer.

"My human self tried, I haven't tried yet. You see, I only appear if I'm really needed and your case is a pretty severe one."

Minho tries to protest but is quickly shushed.

"Look, this is a night shift on Christmas Eve, I don't want this any more than you do so let's do it quickly. I'll send you three spirits tonight before it hits midnight. They'll guide you through your entire life and help you make the right choice. Got it?"

"Midnight is in five minutes."

"I know."

"But-"

"You'll understand," Chan cuts him off. "As for now, bon voyage."

Not even conscious that he had been awake —or dreaming— Minho hears a snap of fingers before opening his eyes widely and gasping for air as he wakes up. He is still somewhat confused, but rather glad this was simply a dream. He can feel that the sweat has gone through his pyjamas and makes a face out of disgust.

Quickly, he eats breakfast and freshens up before leaving for work. Yes, he is working on Christmas day. This might be the only way he can get distracted from everything going wrong in his life.

As he approches his work building, he notices a young man. He looks awfully similar to Jeongin but not quite. Curiosity gets the best of him, however, and Minho instinctively walks up to the man. He takes a moment to scan his appearance: he's shorter than Jeongin, has light golden hair and wears loose white streetwear clothing. He also takes notes on the grey of his eyes.

"Lee Minho!" he says cheerfully before Minho could let out a single word.

The man jumps in surprise. "Jeongin?"

He shakes his head as a no and smiles brightly. "No, my name is P."

"P..." Minho repeats slowly, slightly confused.

"Shall we go in?"

He doesn't wait for an answer as he begins to walk and Minho automatically follows him into his building, assuming this boy might be a new worker in his firm. They hop onto the elevator together and P pushes the button to level 7. As Minho is about to look for his own floor, he notices something odd. The building has 26 levels. So why the hell are the numbers going up to 30? He slowly turns to come face to face with the younger man who keeps a wide smile on his face, fear creeping in.

"Who are you?" he dares to ask.

"I told you, I'm P!" the boy repeats with an even bigger grin, almost creepy. "Short for Past."

Oh. Oh no. It all suddenly clicks in Minho's head. Either this is a dream occuring because of the movie he had watched before going to bed or this is his own story of A Christmas Carol. He pinches the side of his arm, hoping he would be back in his room but it only results to him hissing in pain.

"Do you remember your Christmas when you were seven years old?" Minho can only glare at him but P doesn't seem to care. "This might refresh your memories."

The doors of the elevator open right after and not only are they not in his workplace anymore but the setting is exactly as he remembers it from his childhood. They are right on the street of his parents' home. The street is empty, understandably so because of the light snow falling down and the cold weather. It is early in the morning and his childhood home looks much smaller than he remembers, and in a much poorer state.

P walks out first before turning around, encouraging Minho to follow. "Can they see me?"

"No."

The answer satifies Minho and he finally steps out of the elevator, letting himself get led by this Jeongin look-alike. He wonders why this specific time was chosen in all of his years of life. He ponders the idea of asking P but it soon vanishes when he spots his younger self coming out of the house with his parents observing him in a loving way. A knot forms in his belly. He hasn't talked to his parents since Y/N left. Are they doing okay? Maybe he should have called a few times at least.

"Can we bring one home?" younger Minho asks his mom, eyes full of hope.

"Do you want a kitten as your Christmas gift?" his mother asks and the child happily nods. "We'll go see the cats and I'll think about it, okay?"

Satisfied enough, he skips down the street while humming a Christmas song. Oddly enough, it is Y/N's favourite: Winter Wonderland.

Minho watches his former self with nostalgia. He remembers the moment perfectly. This was the first time he ever owned a cat after begging his mother to get one years after years. He had named her Nala, which he thought was very clever at the time.

"Can we follow them?"

P takes his hand, much to Minho's surprise, and they begin to float just slightly above ground and fly right to where his past self is. He doesn't question the spirit about how this works and resumes to watching himself coo at the cats. For a brief moment, his eyes advert from the scene and land on his parents. But there is something catching his attention. He sees his father emptying his wallet as well as his mom before they give it to the worker. His breath gets heavier as he looks back and forth from them to himself.

"Is this why my mother stopped going out for tea with her friends? And why my father couldn't take my mother out for dates? They used to argue so much about it..." Minho almost whispers.

"Parents make great sacrifices for their children," P says longingly.

"Why didn't they tell me?"

P shrugs. "Probably because you were a literal child but also because they didn't want you to feel bad."

"My grandmother would have helped us in an instant if she knew."

P shrugs again. "They didn't want help."

He easily catches on why the ghost brought him at this exact moment. Just in time, Minho gets a hold of himself and says in incoherent words that he won't fall for P's tricks. The latter isn't nearly fazed by this statement and he takes the man's hand to bring him back to the elevator in a quick flying trip.

After the door closes, Minho is relieved that he can finally go back home. That is until P pushes the button for level 18 which earns a frown from Minho.

"Aren't we done?"

"No, you have other things left to see before I send you back. Well, a few more years to see."

"And me at 18 years old was an important year?"

P sends him a knowing look but he acts clueless, as if he doesn't know what happened back then although it's painfully obvious he does. Denial is the best way to cope, isn't it?

The doors open to the hallway of his college dorm he used to share with Chan. He can instantly recognize the said-man and Changbin joking around before they walk in his dorm. Without waiting for P, Minho follows and freezes when he stumbles upon Y/N. This moment was merely over two months into their relationship but he could tell he already knew she was his everything at that time.

Y/N greets the two boys and encourages them to put their wrapped presents under the mini Christmas tree she had insisted on making to display in his small living room. Meanwhile, a nearly adult Minho is unwrapping takeout as he watches the scene with a huge smile.

"What took you two so long?" he asks, walking towards the group with the food in hands.

"Chan's fault," Changbin immediately accuses, earning a stare from the older man.

"Not true."

"I'm not the one who lost Hyunjin's present."

Hyunjin's eyes lit up. "You got me a present?"

A small smirk appears on Chan's face. "I got all of you a present."

"Even me?"

Minho's heart tightens. He still struggles to listen to your voice and because you were there physically in front of him, it pains him so much more.

"Even you."

"Can we open them?" Felix asks, eyes lighting up.

"After eating," younger Minho says in a stern voice. "Otherwise, you'll get your dirty ass hands on the gifts, or on anything for that matter."

Y/N glances at Jisung with a knowing smirk that his friend returns, something he hadn't caught onto back then. She still hastens to give Minho a hand with all of the food dishes, not forgetting to give a napkin to each person. He knows he can be a bit peculiar with keeping his place tidy and he never wanted Y/N to feel pressured with that. Still, it visibly seemed to have been a common issue she and Jisung had with him.

"Y/N, I thought you were supposed to go back home for the holidays," Seungmin tells with food already being chewed in his mouth.

"I was," she confirms. "Minho and I determined we wanted to spend our first Christmas together and, sorry, but I rather be here than with my aunts. They were going to be all over me about not knowing what I want to do with life, I can spare myself from it."

The whole group lets out a laugh as they go on with their feast before discussing all sorts of things. Hyunjin and Chan are in the corner laughing their asses off, much to Minho's dismay who is keeping a close look at his white carpet. Hyunjin has always been clumsy and this wouldn't be the first time he spills something.

Present Minho watches it all, fully aware of what is about to happen. He never regretted getting mad at his friend for a small spoil but this kind of behaviour is one of the many that contributed to his separation. He sees what P is trying to do by showing him this.

"I get the point, can we go?"

P chuckles. "After you know what."

In shame, he observes from the corner of the eye himself exploding at Hyunjin for staining the carpet, Chan nagging at him for doing so, the boys uncomfortably watching the scene as they back away from him... and he catches a glimpse of Y/N getting the necessities to get rid of the sauce stain, not even complaining.

"I think we're good here," he tries again to convince P.

He receives a playful smirk from the spirit. "Are you sure?"

Minho groans but, nonetheless, nods. "Please."

P is quick to grab his hand and fly right back into the elevator, doors shutting behind them. He does give Minho a minute or two to recuperate from the sight before pushing the button 24. Minho's eyes are stuck on the lit up number and gulps, feeling suddenly hotter. That was last year.

"Don't you have another Christmas to show me before..." he trails off.

He is met with no answer and has to settle for the tranquility of the metal box going up. Anxiety keeps letting itself known through his body the more the number rises. Finally, after what felt like eternity to him, the ding sound signals that they have reached the level.

"You might want to prepare yourself for this one."

Minho huffs and glares at the ghost as to tell him "no shit". The doors slide open and they are already in his apartment. At least, P was kind enough to spare him from reliving what triggered the actual argument.

His cats are all doing their thing as normally. All seems out of the ordinary until he feels footsteps through the ground. He takes a deep breath in and watches Y/N barge into the place, hair messy and tears streaming down her face. The guilt pit down in his stomach when he sees himself step inside after you, throwing his scarf carelessly on a chair.

"Are you going to talk at least?" he asks, looking down at Y/N who scoffs at her boyfriend's question.

How dare he is the one demanding explanations from her?

"Are you going to talk about it?" she questions back, crossing her arms on her chest.

"Oh, come on, I didn't do anything."

"Telling everyone you want to call off the engagement is something."

P hisses in a disapproving way. "Man, you outdid yourself with this one."

"Shut up."

Y/N still waits for Minho to speak up but nothing comes out of his mouth other than his unsteady breathing. In a swift manner, she walks behind the counter and fills their cats' bowls in the meantime of waiting still for her lover to say something. But the man stays where he is, observing his surroundings in awkwardness.

"Minho," she finally calls out.

"I didn't call off the engagement."

"Really? Saying getting married is bullshit isn't telling everyone you don't want to marry me?"

"It's not like that. I meant it's not a necessity for us to know we love each other."

"You don't get that marriages can mean something other than that, it's so much more."

"It's an excuse to spend thousands of dollars on things that will last a day or two at most."

Y/N buried her face in her hands as she let out a groan. "You've always been like this."

"Realistic?"

"No, a grumpy old man. You can't see the beauty in anything."

Minho smirks for a second. "I see beauty in you."

"Don't try with your sweet words, Lee Minho," she says, raising a finger up at him. "You know exactly what I mean. I can give you so many examples. Firstly, you never buy me anything on Valentine's day because it's a marketing holiday. Then, you want every single aspect to be perfect and at their exact place although life isn't like this. And finally, you just see the negative everywhere, always pointing out what is wrong. What happened to my sweet Minho who would smile at the slightest thing?"

He remains quiet as he sits on one of the dining table's chairs. Not knowing what to do next, Y/N copies his actions and gets seated in front of him. They don't dare to look at each other just yet but Minho most definitely wants to. His ego too big, he doesn't budge.

"Minho, please," she begged.

"Alright, it's enough."

P lets out a huff. "The action barely started."

Clenching his jaw, he doesn't insist more and settles on looking at the ground while the scene he had been trying to forget about for almost a year was happening right in front of him. Minho hates it, his heart is bleeding in pain.

"I've grown, maybe that's something you should consider doing as well," he hears himself say.

Curiosity gets the best of him and he can't contain himself from looking at her, he never knew how she had reacted to his words. The view he has in front of his eyes makes his heart shatter in an instant. He swears he can see her soul leave her body just now. Had he really done this to her?

"What- Min, I-" she tries to speak, but struggles.

"Y/N, we want different things now."

She chokes out on her tears, the ones that she finally lets stream down her face since she had been containing them. She hated crying, especially with Minho.

"No, we want the same things," she affirms, her voice breaking. "You've just become too obnoxious and focused on your career that you don't see it anymore."

"You think I'm the obnoxious one? Y/N, have you seen yourself?" Minho asks in a loud voice as he gets up from his chair. "You're so full of bullshit with your positivity and ignorance towards actual problems, it makes me sick. Take the cat, for example. We don't have space for a third one but yet, here is Dori who can't even behave properly. And your Christmas decoration is taking too much space too."

"This is about space now?"

"Yes, I need space! And I'm sorry I cancelled our last date but I just can't deal with you right now. You're in the way and I can't work and- Fuck, I don't know how to tell you but we can't keep on going like this."

Her breathing is becoming more unsteady while the tears are still flooding out of her eyes. Present Minho approches her and tries to put a hand on her shoulder, but it goes through. Right, he forgot. He is not really there.

"I didn't want to call off our engagement. But maybe I do now."

Slowly, she gets up and walks towards their shared bedroom which leaves a perplexed and helpless Minho standing alone in the middle of his dining room. He hears unknown noises and hesitates on whether he should go to you or wait. But again, his ego takes over and he stays right where he is.

Soon later, only a couple of minutes, he sees Y/N walk out of the bedroom with one bag and two suitcases full of her belongings. His face dropped immediately.

"You're leaving?" he asks, desperate. No answer. "For how long?" Still silent. "Y/N, please, I know we can figure it out."

Her lower lip quivers as she sobs some more, trying her best to ignore the man in front of her. She dares to walk towards their front door, not acknowledging her lover for one second.

"My love, please," Minho tries once more.

And just like that, she walks out, door shutting quietly behind her.

"We've seen enough."

P is about to say no when he catches Minho's watery eyes. He taps himself on the back mentally, he didn't think he would break down so fast. Taking him by the forearm, he leads him towards the elevator. The doors slide shut rather fast, which Minho is thankful for. In a careful move, P presses the ground floor button and the elevator goes down.

Once arrived, the doors reveal Minho's bedroom. It looks the same as it did the night before. Minho takes notes on that, it means his night is far from being over.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep."

"You will," P reassures. "I'll leave you alone, now. It was my pleasure being your guide for tonight."

As the two men exchange a small smile, more as a form of respect, P begins to glow, brighter and brighter. So much that Minho can't even look at him anymore and is blinded. He tried to look away but even then with his eyes closed, the light goes through.

Suddenly, there's nothing.

The morning is brighter than he thought it would be. He swears he saw on the news the day prior that Christmas day was going to be gloomy. The blue sky with the sun shining is definitely a pleasant surprise.

Enough with admiring the weather, Minho finishes rapidly his coffee, grabs his briefcase, and heads out to work. As he walks towards his building, he can't help but think of his dream from last night. He did expect dreaming of Y/N but not having to relive the day she left so vividly.

As he is about to cross the road, he feels his body collide with someone which is soon followed with the feeling of burnt. He curses out loud and is considering telling the other person off. Only, it is someone he hasn't seen in a while and who has a face he definitely recognizes.

"Hyunjin?"

The man cocks his head to the side and frowns. "Are you Mr. Lee?"

Minho, as equally confused, nods. "You don't recognize me?"

The Hyunjin look-alike seems to take notice of his whereabouts and clears his throat. "I apologize, sir. This is my first year working as a guiding spirit. Shall we start over? Hi, my name is P."

Suddenly, Minho has flashbacks of his encounter with the boy of the same name. Was he still in the dream? Or was the Chan spirit saying the truth? He feels a lump growing inside of his throat as the P man in question goes on about himself.

"I'm sincerely sorry about the coffee I spilled, let me fix this," he says before splashing Minho's figure with gold dust. The stain instantly disappears. "Now, where was I..? Oh, right! I'm P, short for Present. I was assigned to you to review your Christmas of this year."

At this point, Minho doesn't have it in him to protest. Without saying a word, he walks in the building as P follows him behind. This one spirit is much giddier than the previous one. The moment he steps in the elevator, he does nothing but look around nervously. It is with a heavy sigh that Minho empresses himself to push the button next to 25.

"I thought I forgot something, thanks," P laughs nervously, receiving a glare in return.

The ride up is quiet and awkward but when the doors open, they both step out in sync and walk along the trail of snow. The Christmas market is an event that the real Hyunjin takes part in each year. He always contributed with an animal rescue center to help them give puppies up for adoption.

This year is especially important to him, it is the first time he does it with his own dog rescue shelter. For the occasion, a few of the boys promised him they would come by to encourage him. Including Minho.

Far from the distance, Minho sees Felix and Seungmin arguing about whatever while Chan greets warmly their friend who has just finished setting his booth up.

"Guys, come look at the doggies," he calls the younger men who rush to pet the furry creatures.

"I'd call this one Seungmin," Felix jokes as he picks up a baby labrador.

Hyunjin laughs at the comment. "Her name is Daisy."

"Not very original," Felix allows himself to point out to which Hyunjin chuckles again.

His laughs trails off while he looks around, brows furrowed. "Didn't Minho say he'd come too?"

Chan sighs heavily, giving one of the poodles some scratches. "I called him but he didn't answer. Plus, we had an argument last time I saw him so I don't think he'll come."

"About Y/N again?" Seungmin asks and Chan nods. "The number of times I told her to talk it out with him, she really should call him. The guy is getting on my nerves."

Minho's heart stops for a moment. Not only because he finally knows what his friend thinks of him but also because he apparently has been in contact with Y/N, without his knowledge. He thought all of his friends haven't heard from you since.

"I told her too but what can I say? They're both stubborn," Felix shrugs. "I thought of stopping by her place today to see how she's doing but Minho would kill me if he discovers."

"Oh, please. He'd kill you if you even mention her name."

The four men share a sad laugh before changing topics. Hyunjin is careful with each dog as he introduces them one by one. All of it becomes a blur for Minho, he doesn't know if he wants to leave now or listen more to it. As much as it hurts him, he can't help but be curious.

"Did you know this?" he finally says, turning his body towards P.

"I did read it on the report paper before meeting you but, hey, I don't know you all," he responds with his hands up in defense. "We can go see her if you want."

Minho ponders for a moment. Was he ready to face her once again?

"No. Not yet."

"As you wish. Your friends are having a party tonight if you didn't know. We have to see that."

"I know, yeah."

P takes his hand as they float away all the way to Changbin's house. Before setting foot on the ground, he can already see all of his friends with Felix's fiancé, Chan's wife and Jisung's new girlfriend. Everyone is there. Except him.

He carefully approaches the group inside the living room where the girls are busy putting the presents under the Christmas tree. What takes him aback the most is seeing a tall and beautiful woman coming down the stairs before placing a kiss on Changbin's cheek. Since when is he seeing someone? It takes everyone a few minutes to settle down and serve themselves drinks. Once everyone is sat, they hold their glasses up for a toast.

"Who wants to do the honours?" Jeongin asks and Jisung immediately gets up.

"Merry Christmas, guys! Thank you for this year and thank you to Changbin for hosting the dinner tonight," he says, bopping his head towards him. "And let's have a moment for our Minho. He might not be here but he's in our heart. Let's hope he can get back on the right track next year."

There is a pause in the room, everybody suddenly feeling a wave of guilt and sadness. They know they've done everything for their friend, but they still feel like they should have tried harder.

Minho, this time, doesn't try to contain his cries. He walks up Jisung and smiles, just a little.

"Thanks, Hannie," he whispers.

"To Minho," he cheers, holding his drink higher.

"To Minho."

P lets out a cough, grabbing Minho's attention. "Not to be a mood breaker but I think you should see Y/N."

"What do you mean?"

"See what she is doing at this exact moment."

He surprisingly agrees with no hesitation and they both float away to another neighbourhood of the city. One Minho isn't too familiar with. This must be why she chose to move there, somewhere she knew she wouldn't encounter Minho. They float down at the apartment's balcony and Minho can see her right away through the window.

"You can go through walls," P informs and he does as told.

He's surprised to see her alone with her sister. She used to be a social butterfly, he wonders what happened. Deena sets the table while humming to Christmas music and Y/N finishes up with cutting the ham. It's not as Christmas-y as it should be, it's rather sad. The atmosphere is sad.

"Need help with that?" Deena offers.

"I'm good, thanks," Y/N answers as she brings the dishes on the table.

She looks paler than he remembers, maybe because of the lighting. Her hair is longer and she seems to have dyed it brown. She's also much skinnier.

"Thank you for cooking," Deena smiles warmly at her.

"It's nothing," she smiled back and begins to serve herself a plate. "I would have definitely given a piece of ham to the cats if they were here."

Deena shakes her head. "How many times did I tell you that I can go get them back?"

Y/N shakes her head too and sighs. "He loves them as much as I do, maybe even more. Who knows how he would survive without them."

"He's not really surviving, if you want my opinion. You should have seen him at the mall the other day."

Y/N shrugs while playing with her potatoes. "He's coping in his own way."

Her sister lets out a groan, desperate. "Jeez, you two are so sad to see, it's depressing."

Well, if Minho wanted to be sure Y/N is still struggling with getting over their separation, he has his answer right there.

"I'll be fine and so will he. Besides, it's not like we lost everything. I still have you and he has the boys."

Deena deadpans at her and then points at her ring finger. Minho looks at it more attentively and allows himself to gasp quietly. Y/N still has the ring, the one he proposed to her with. After what he said to her, she still wears it?

She is quick to pull her hand off the table and cover it with her sleeve. "It's a pretty ring."

"It means more to you than that and you know it."

"He didn't want to get married and it's alright. We grew apart and it is what it is. Can we talk about something else now?" she says in annoyance.

"Y/N, Felix, when he called-"

"Stop," she cuts her off. "Felix doesn't know what happened. He doesn't understand."

"Okay, I'll stop. But just so you know, this is doing no good to anybody, especially the two of you."

Minho can't hear any more of it. In a second, he turns around and goes back to the balcony which indicates to P that the visit is over. The ghost throws some of his golden dust in the air and the elevator magically appears next to them. They step inside and press the button to the ground floor.

As it goes down, Minho is looking away from the spirit, he has a certain pride to maintain. P hesitates but decides to put his hand on the man's shoulder.

"Can I just say? In my whole year of working, this might be the only case where I really empathized with my client."

Minho moves his hand away from him and grumbles something under his breath. P doesn't hear it properly but it goes along the lines of "I don't need empathy, don't act like you care".

When they get to his room, the spirit is quick to take a leave, leaving Minho alone in his cold room. At least he has his cats. He has them because of Y/N's kind heart knew he needs them.

At least, maybe she still cares a little.

The formula is the same this morning. So much that Minho knows he isn't going to work and is still trapped in this weird loop of exploring his life. He doesn't bother dressing properly nor bringing what he needs for his job. He doesn't even change his cats' water.

The moment he walks in his workplace, it doesn't even take him a second to spot the ghost of his future. It's Jisung this time. Well, not him exactly.

"Hello, my name is-"

"F, I suppose? For future?"

The spirit, stunned, slowly nods. "Usually, people are happy to see me."

"I had a long night, buddy. Just show me what you have to show me and I can move on with my life."

F doesn't argue with him and he leads him to the elevator when he presses the button 30 right away. "We'll do the quick version since you're in such a rush. I would have gone through 26 beforehand but-"

"What happens next year?" Minho interrupts him.

"No, you want this to be quick. I respect that. It's Christmas anyway, I can make an exception."

"What happens next year?" he repeats.

F smiles knowingly before glancing at the button 26. Minho, hesitantly, goes ahead to press it himself to which the ghost responds with a satisfied smirk. Before he knows it, they already reached the level.

As the doors open, Minho soon recognizes Jeongin's penthouse. Looks like that year's Christmas is settled to be at his place. Jeongin is alone with Changbin as they seem to be preparing food and drinks for the guests they are expecting. It is soon confirmed when Jisung walks in without knocking, alongside with his girlfriend. In the following minutes, each of his friends, sometimes with a significant lover, come inside and the party gets louder and merrier. However, after Hyunjin arrived, it dawns on him that his future version himself won't take part on that year's dinner.

Just like the previous year.

After chatting some more about what they are up to in their lives (nothing much other than Felix getting married but everyone knows as they attended the ceremony), Changbin calls everyone for dinner and they sit around Jeongin's dinner table.

"Can I make the toast this year?" Jisung asks, earning looks from his friends.

"You did last year, I say our host of the night does it," Seungmin suggests and they all seem to agree.

So, a bit uncomfortable still, Jeongin gets up with his glass of wine in hands. "Thank you for another year of our usual Christmas party. I'm really glad all of you were able to come. Of course, we still have a thought for our Minho who won't be joining us, yet again, tonight." The guests exchange glances in agreement and let the youngest continue. "Merry Christmas and let's enjoy our meal!"

They cling their glasses together, wishing a merry Christmas to one another, and don't lose another second to attack their plates. Although it pains him to not see himself enjoy the feast with them, Minho is somewhat happy. At least, they still have each other.

"Why couldn't he make it, anyway?" Chan asks around the table, looking at anybody who might have the answer.

The only person to answer is, unsurprisingly, Jisung. "The last time I saw him was in September and he said he had some issues with the cats. I don't know if he was making up excuses but he seemed to be alright."

"It was a miracle he even showed up for my wedding," Felix scoffs, making Minho huff. "An even bigger miracle was that he didn't make a scene when he saw Y/N there."

"They left together, no?"

What Seungmin just said gives him some kind of hope. Wanting to be sure he would hear every detail, he gets closer to his friend who continues to speak on the matter.

"I know they drank a lot but has someone seen what they were doing?"

"He was cuddly," Jisung answers. "No, clingy as hell. Poor Y/N who had to drive him home."

"They could have made up then?" Chan questions and Jisung nods.

"But we all know him, he missed his chance to fix things again."

"I really thought inviting both of them would have put an end to their mishaps," Felix sighs, discouraged. "I'll send Minho a message later."

"We could call him all together?" Chan suggests but by the reactions of everybody, this is not an option.

Just like that, they change subject and continue to discuss cheerfully about everything and anything. F gives a sad smile to the man, who watches the scene feeling beaten. There must have something really wrong with him that his closest friends wouldn't even wish him a merry Christmas.

"Where am I while all of this is happening?" he asks the ghost.

Carefully, he is transported away from the penthouse and directly to his apartment. The moment he takes in the sight of his place, he sees how nothing much changed in a year. Everything is still where it was during the present year.

His hair is longer, he notices. Not only that but he grew a bit of a beard, a choice he questions a little. His cats are still doing their thing, none of them appear to be sick. What particularly catches his attention is the glass filled with a bright yellow liquor that is set next to him as he scrolls down through his feed on his tablet.

Is he drinking? He does have a few occasions where he'll consume alcohol but a glass full of whiskey is new.

Soonie jumps on the counter and, unlike what Minho would automatically do as of right now, his future self pushes the cat off. He gasps in horror and runs to catch his pet. Only, he did forget he isn't actually there and that things pass through his body. Fortunately, Soonie is fine.

"I should text her, at least," he hears himself say.

The man he sees is far from being remotely close to what he is. Hair messy, tie loosened and a beer belly growing; he wonders what caused him to let himself reach this point.

Future Minho opens his e-mail app and clicks on New Message. He is quick to find Y/N's e-mail address, which real Minho takes as a sign he must have done the same more than once in the last year. He tries to read what he is typing but the amount of typos is quite overwhelming. Despite that, he manages to make out a somewhat coherent note.

___

Hey,

I know I should probably not be writing this but it is Christmas today so, merry Christmas. Remember how we used to go out with the others and play stupid games until late? Then, we'd come home and I'd make you a hot chocolate before going to be? You remember all of that, don't you?

I miss it, and I miss you. I know I said I'll stop writing but you broke my heart, Y/N. How can I forget and ignore what happened? You left so suddenly for no reason. I should be furious, maybe I am. No, I know I am. I still can't help myself but longing for you.

Have a jolly holiday, even if it's without me,

Min xox

___

"Wow, that's pathetic," Minho breathes out after reading. He turns to face F and frowns. "That's a year from now?"

"Precisely."

"No, it can't be. I'm alright, I moved on."

F visibly tries to contain himself from speaking on that, but he can't. "You're one oblivious man."

"I am okay!"

F scoffs. "Sure. Now, shall we visit you at 30 years old? It's Christmas and I have others plans after this."

Minho keeps finding it ridiculous how these ghosts continue to act as if they are actual people. He's still dreaming, why would he bother imagining spirits with personalities?

He is soon led to the actual elevator of his apartment building where F presses the button quickly. Once the level reached, the doors open to a beautiful wedding reception, leaving Minho confused. He does not know anybody other than Felix, who is supposedly already married by then, who is engaged.

The two men walk around the room, recognizing a few faces, and Minho finally spots himself sitting with his friends. At least he isn't alone, he tells himself. He goes straight ahead to observe the scene where he is obviously bored and sick of being there. He does notice how his appearance seem much better than before with gel in his hair and a tuxedo well ironed on.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Chan asks him in a concerned voice.

"Stop with that, I'd leave if I wasn't fine," Minho rolls his eyes.

"You haven't spoken to her, though."

"You really are good at observing, Chan," Minho responds in a mocking way and the older man simply sighs.

Suddenly, the entirety of the room begins to cheer loudly and clap. Minho tries to follow their gaze to find out who they were waiting for. After moving around to see through the dozens of head, he finally spots her. And him.

Y/N. It's her wedding. And she invited him of all people?

His brain short-circuits and he feels his heart pounding faster and faster. He can't think properly anymore, the only thing he can vividly see is her. How she smiles at every single person who congratulates her. How she clings onto this man as if her life depended on it. But most importantly, he sees how her smile just gets sadder when her eyes stop on him.

He knows time stops for the two of them before they walk towards each other. He knows so many things are still left unsaid. Gaining back his consciousness, he follows himself to watch what is about to happen.

She hugs him, a bit awkwardly. "I didn't think you'd come. Thank you."

"Congratulations," Minho says, retracting from the hug as fast as he can. "You two make a fine couple."

"Thanks," she chuckles. "Look, Min-" she starts but Minho shakes his head.

"Don't, it's okay. Enjoy your day."

Grateful, she sends him one last smile and moves to thank other guests. Chan, at this point, can do nothing else but pat his friend's shoulder. Surprisingly, Minho doesn't budge. He does, however, let one single drop fall from his eye.

"That's it?" he exclaims, now looking at F. "I'm not even trying? I just gave up? What even happened between then and that moment?"

"I've shown you plenty, you can figure it out by yourself," F says calmly and then begins to walk back to the metal box.

Minho, refusing this as an answer, runs to join him hastily. "Who's this guy, anyway?"

"Does it really matter? You two are not together anymore."

"Yes, if it can help me to prevent this."

"So you don't want her to be happy?" F perks an eyebrow making Minho groan in frustration.

"I'm asking you what I need to do to change this. It can't be like this. I'm the one who's supposed to marry her."

F smirks as they walk in the elevator, presses the button to the ground floor and finally looks at the man. "You know what has to be done, you're just afraid."

"Of what?"

"Oh, please. Stop with the act. How has the last year really been like for you?"

Minho gulps, already feeling himself choke up. "I-" he starts. "It's been hell."

F nods. "What else?"

"Y/N was right, as she always is... I'm the one who lost myself with time. I did want to marry her and I did not think she was obnoxious. Certainly not..."

He starts to cry, heavily this time. There is no more hiding or denying, he just said it all out loud. Regrets and pain, that's what's been eating him. He sobs as everything finally hits him so brutally. He lost Y/N for good. Or he will lose her for good if he keeps acting the way he does.

And his friends, the only people who stick with him through everything. The ones he keeps pushing away in fear of himself.

"You're home," the spirit says, interrupting the moment.

Minho doesn't hesitate to crash into his bed and sob some more. Even if F wanted to leave so badly, he doesn't think he should just yet. Cursing at himself, he comes to sit on the bed and pats the back of the broken man.

"It's alright, let it all out. You've had a rough night."

Minho hiccups and sniffles before glaring at the ghost. "No shit."

"You know, I think you can fix this."

Minho shrugs. "I've been horrible to everyone."

"You acknowledge it, that's a start. From there, only you can decide how things will be." F looks at his watch for a second and gasps. "I'm late for my next human! Good luck with everything."

Minho doesn't watch him leave. He is still crying but he has no more energy. He desperately wants to wake up, but mostly, he wants to see Y/N.

Minho doesn't wake up until the later morning. With the dream he just had, the sleep deprived guy seriously needed more than eight hours of resting. He does miss out work but, honestly, is not bothered the slightest. In fact, he is grateful he won't be working today.

After feeding Soonie, Doongie and Dori, he determines he should catch up on the gifts he planned on offering to his friends. Walking to his home office, he pulls out the wrapping paper he hadn't touched in a while and begins to wrap each and every single one of the presents he bought. He is definitely happy to have made some purchases the day he went shopping with Chan.

The task does grow tiring and boring after a while. To keep himself motivated, he plugs in his speaker to play some music and hums alongside the lyrics. He hasn't done that for a long time. As he is about to skip the current song playing on his playlist, his solo karaoke session is interrupted by a call coming in.

Not bothering to look at the contact, he answers happily. "Merry Christmas, you joined Lee Minho. How can I help you?"

The other side of the line is silent but he can hear that there is someone. Frowning, he repeats himself to encourage the person to talk.

"Minho, it's Changbin."

"Oh, hey! How are you doing? I was about to call you to ask what you wanted me to bring for tonight."

He senses that his friend is quite taken aback and he smiles proudly to himself.

"You're coming?"

"Unless I wasn't invited-"

"No, no," Changbin cuts him. "You're always welcomed, you know that. I'd just expected you to say you have work or something."

"I was supposed to clock in but I didn't feel like going to the office. Oh, by the way, can I ask a favor from you?"

"Uh, yeah, go ahead..." Changbin replies, skeptical.

"I know you're still in contact with Y/N."

Changbin, on his side, freezes. "How did you- Min, I swear we all wanted to tell you-"

"I'm not mad. I just wanted to know if you could possibly invite her and Deena for dinner, please? Don't tell them I'll be there, though."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, I want it to be a surprise."

He doesn't say anything for a minute, processing what is happening. "Then, I'll invite them and say you aren't coming."

"Good! See you tonight! And tell your girlfriend I'm excited to meet her!"

He doesn't let Changbin question him on how he learned about his girlfriend and hangs up. Resuming to his activity, he stops when he sees Soonie playing with wrapping paper. Filming him, he coos at him before giving him loving scratches.

"I won't ever hurt you, I promise," he tell his cat, recalling what happened in his dream.

When he has finished with wrapping his gifts, he goes to his closet to find an appropriate attire for the night. For the last year, he hadn't wore anything other than work clothes and sweats. The nice shirt Y/N once bought him catches his attention. The dark green buttoned blouse seem to be a perfect match for his black clean pants. He changes fast and does not forget to add a few pieces of jewelry to finish his look.

He is all set to go. But one look at himself in the mirror at his entrance stops him for a moment. It suddenly clicks that he is a couple hours away from seeing Y/N again, for real this time. Although terrified, he has found some peace with it from the events of the previous night. He wants to make things right.

And one thing he can do just now is call his parents, the ones he has been ignoring for a year. He did expect his mother to cry but certainly not his father. Both incite him to come to his hometown in the following days and he can't refuse the invite. Not when they are begging with their puppy eyes.

"I'll come for New Year's, does it sounds okay?"

His mother nods vigorously through the screen of his phone. "Will Y/N be coming with you?"

He might have left out that he isn't with her anymore. Seeing the look on his parents' faces, he does not have the heart to tell them yet. Instead, he goes with a safe answer.

"I'll see with her if she can clear her schedule, but no promise."

"Tell her she's always welcomed here whenever. Merry Christmas, son!" his father wishes him adoringly.

He smiles, feeling suddenly nostalgic. "Merry Christmas to you two!"

And he hangs up.

Before going to Changbin's place, he doesn't forget to stop at the Christmas market to pay his friend, Hyunjin, a visit. Mentally preparing himself to face a pissed off Chan, he strolls between the booths and stops at a few of them. Some are selling soaps, a lot of them in fact. Others sell clothes they crocheted themselves and a few offer samples of their baked goods.

A few minutes later, Hyunjin's golden locks are easily found from afar. Minho also spots Chan, Seungmin and Felix. He has a heavy case of déjà-vu when he sees the four of them discuss with frowns on their faces.

Discreetly, he walks towards his friends who don't take knowledge of his presence yet. That is until he arrives right behind Felix.

"-stopping by her place today to see how she's doing but Minho would kill me if he discovers," the man is telling the others, oblivious that Minho is hearing everything.

Seungmin gulps and nods his head towards him but Felix cluelessly frowns. Hyunjin does the same which finally makes him turn around and come face to face with Minho. His eyes grow twice their sizes and his mouth opens slightly in shock.

"Hi, Yongbok," Minho says, unbothered. "Cute puppies you got, Hwang."

Hyunjin smiles, thankful. "Do you want to pet one? I've got this chihuahua that looks like Kkami."

He doesn't have the time to answer when a small dog is suddenly placed in his arms. With no complaint, he pets the puppy affectionately. The four men look at him, rather confused, and say nothing. They simply have no idea on how to react to this.

"Minho, what I said about Y/N- She- Uh... We-" Felix stammers out his words but Minho interrupts him.

"I know and it's all good. She is your friend too, I can't be mad at her for wanting to keep you all around."

"I see you've made some thinking," Chan finally speaks up, eyes stern.

"You can say that... I'm sorry about the other day, you were right. I shouldn't have shut you out of my life," he admits, much to his own surprise.

"Apology accepted," Chan grins. "A little birdie told me you asked Changbin to invite Y/N and Deena for dinner."

Seungmin's eyes lit up. "So you changed your mind? You'll come?"

Minho huffs. "I never said I wouldn't come."

Hyunjin sneers. "I know someone who'll be ecstatic about that."

The girl paces the floor nervously, biting her nails as she waits for her sister to arrive. Even if Changbin assured to her that her ex-fiancé wouldn't be attending the party, she can't help but feel like he will find out. She already feels guilty for keeping contact with his friends, who knows how he would react if he learns she went to celebrate Christmas with them.

As Deena finally walks in the apartment, she lets out a heavy sigh of relief. "Finally!"

Her sister rolls her eyes. "It took me barely five minutes to get here."

"Still," she chuckles sheepishly. "Thank you for coming with me."

"What would you do without me?" she exclaims dramatically. "For real, it's very nice for them to invite you. Especially after last year. Plus, it's better than our sappy sister date night."

Y/N lets out a small laugh but resumes automatically to biting down her lower lip in nervousness. Deena notices it but doesn't comment on it. Instead, she rushes her to leave, saying they will be late otherwise.

In the car, Y/N can't wait any longer. She has worries and needs to let them out or she'll go mad.

"What if Minho ends up showing up?"

Deena gives her a look but answers nonetheless. "He won't. And if he does, he'll have to suck it up and be an adult about you being there."

"Do you think he'll get mad when he discoverd that I still talked with the guys?"

"Y/N, for fuck's sake, it's not your problem to deal with! He's the one being a little bitch. Besides, you're not with him anymore."

"It doesn't mean I want to hurt him... and..."

She doesn't complete her sentence since she knows Deena must have understood right away. Y/N is still hopelessly in love with Minho. As much as she believes that leaving was the right thing to do, there were so many instances where she tried to convince herself that he'd change if she goes back to him.

She knows, deep down, she might be right on that.

"I can't believe you're actually here with actual presents!" Jisung almost yells as he brings his friend into a warm hug.

Hyunjin scoffs. "Let the man breathe! See, Min? I told you."

Minho taps Jisung's back a few times as to tell him to let go but he refuses, tightening the embrace. Jeongin is the one to break them apart to be the next in line to hug Minho. Everyone is baffled by his change of heart but they look past it and are simply grateful to have gotten their friend back.

"So? Is she coming?" Minho asks Changbin once he greeted everybody one by one.

"She confirmed she is."

Chan frowns and takes him by the shoulders. "Are you sure you want to talk to her?"

"Things were left unsaid, I need to clear this out once and for all."

Ding dong.

Oh. Now things are getting a bit too real, and panic begins to settle throughout his entire body. With once glance exchanged with Chan, it somehow reassures him. Still with his heart beating fast, he retreats himself behind the group as Changbin goes ahead to open the door.

She looks just like he remembers, stunning. There is, however, a hint of something he can't quite understand. She is paler and shyer. Past that, she is the same. While hugging everyone with her bright smile on her face, she shines. Minho is not too sure if he wants to ruin her brightness by letting his presence known. Looking around nervously, we wonders if this was a bad idea after all.

Before he can escape, he hears his name being called from afar; Jisung. Cursing at him mentally, Minho steps aside from behind Hyunjin and waves, embarrassed.

To no one's surprise, there is a moment of awkwardness settled in the room. While Minho is too ashamed to look back at her, Y/N can't rip her gaze away from him. She can't believe he is actually there. She has to make a mental note for later to smack Changbin for lying to her.

The moment is interrupted by Deena, thankfully. "Hey, Minho! I didn't think you'd be here."

"Hi Deena," he replies in a small voice.

This seems to be enough for the others to resume to their thing: Changbin taking his guests' coats to the other room while his girlfriend offers drinks, Deena putting the presents under the Christmas tree, Chan's wife and Felix's girlfriend sitting in a corner to discuss... Y/N, however, does not budge. Not until everyone leaves the entrance, revealing Minho standing in front of her.

"You dyed your hair?" he finally says, more or less to break the weird tension between the two.

She chuckles and runs her fingers through her longs brown locks. "I did, I thought a change might be good."

He nods as he puts his hands in his pockets, rocking his body back and forth. Now what? He knows he wants to talk about the obvious, but how?

"You're wearing that shirt," she points out with a smile. "It fits you well."

"Thank you. Your dress is cute."

"Thanks. I haven't wore this in a while."

"In a dress or not, you're cute either way."

She blushes. It's not as bad as she thought, they can at least do small talk. Still, this is far from being what she was used to with him. It suddenly snaps in her mind how much she missed him.

"I'll go get a drink, you're welcomed to come along," she offers which makes Minho smile.

Changbin's girlfriend makes no complaint when Minho asks her to make a specific drink, one Y/N would always get when they were together. It does not get unnoticed by the latter and she is amazed he remembers such details even after not speaking to each other for a whole entire year.

"You seem to be doing good," he comments once they get a hold of their alcoholic drinks.

"I'm not too bad. I joined a new law firm and, hopefully, they'll let me work on a case on my own."

It pains him to know she is still struggling with work, this was never an issue for him. "One day, someone will recognize your competence."

"Easy for you to say. I've heard you climbed status and have your own office?"

"Which one of the boys told you that?"

By the look on her face, he has managed to surprise her. "So you know."

He takes a sip of his glass and shrugs. "It did hurt a little that nobody told me but it's alright. You needed them as much as I did."

Her eyes soften. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm the jerk here. I pushed you away to the point you left and after you did, I was so close to losing all of my friends. You did nothing wrong."

She moves her head to the side, unsure on how to react. "We both made mistakes."

He scoffs. "Maybe, but you have to admit I did things way worse than you."

"It's alright, we're okay now. It wasn't meant to be."

His heart tightens and he scoffs once more. "What if it was?"

"Minho-"

"No, Y/N, listen to me for this one. Please." The gleam in his eyes convinces her and she nods for him to continue. "I don't know exactly what happened, it might be work, but I lost myself at some point. I never thought weddings were bullshit, not once in my life. My dream the moment I met you was to put a ring on your finger."

Minho stops himself and gives a scan around to make sure nobody is watching. He is thankful when he realizes his friends are busy with watching a funny video on Felix's phone. With no hesitation, he takes Y/N's hand and moves her sleeve up to reveal her engagement ring, still beautifully worn on her finger. Embarrassed, she is quick to retract her hand back in hiding. How did he know if she has been hiding it as soon as she saw him?

"And I think you might still want that."

Her eyes get watery when she forces herself to stare back at him. "This year has been... a lot. I was not ready to remove it just yet and, I guess I just got used to wearing it."

Although tempted to correct her as he know the truth, Minho does not insist any more. Instead, he sends her a look that says he understands. Almost as if it was planned, Chan calls everyone in the living room to open the presents and to, as they do every year, make a toast.

It takes a few minutes until everyone is sat and silent but once they seem good to go, Chan nods his head at Minho. "Why don't you do the honours this year, Min?"

"Oh, um..."

"I think it won't be appropriate if it is anybody else other than you," Seungmin adds to which the others seem to agree on.

Reluctantly, he gets up from his seat and clears his throat. "First of all, I'd like to apologize for the way I've been acting. I was going through a lot and I shouldn't have imposed it on you, I'm sorry. Second of all, thank you all for sticking by my side although I was a total asshole."

"Heck yeah, you are," he hears Changbin jokingly respond.

"Something else I want to mention," he continues, ignoring his friend, "is how much regret I've felt this year. Y/N?"

All eyes move to her figure by the mention of her name. She looks at Minho, feeling a bit intimidated, but smiles to let him know she wants him to go on.

"I've never loved anyone else more than I have with you. I am aware things were not ideal but you brought the best out of me. I'm sorry I had to be the one ruining this for us. I love you still and I can only wish you the best from now on." He gives the others a last glance before raising his glass. "Thank you Changbin for hosting this year's party, and merry Christmas!"

Even though the entire room cheers and applauds in response to Minho's sweet speech, Y/N is not mentally there anymore. Her mind going wild, she can't think straight other than what Minho has said. She undeniably still loves him, more than she'd like to admit. But is she ready to let him in again?

"Hey," Deena calls her out, shaking her away from her thoughts. "You might want to figure some things out with lover boy."

Her face grows red. "You think so?"

"He just left outside to go for a walk but I'm sure he isn't too far yet. Go join him."

"I don't know..."

"Y/N, stop being in denial. You still love him, he still loves you, he obviously wants you back... Just go get him already."

Slightly intimidated by her sister, she doesn't need to be told twice to go grab her coat and boots, and walk out the door. She expected for him to be at least further away on the street but it is definitely a surprise to see him sitting down on the porch. His back facing her, she quietly approaches him and sits beside him.

There is a moment of quietness before he finally looks at her. "It's snowing."

She chuckles. "Thank you for the info, Mr. Obvious."

They share a laugh and both go back to watching the snowflakes fall. It's calm and peaceful, Minho loves it. It painfully reminds him of many occurrences where they'd watch outside the window for no reason on snow days.

"That was a good speech you just made."

He smirks. "I know."

His playful demeanor is something she doesn't remember seeing in the last moments of their relationship. It feels nice to see him back, as himself.

"What you said earlier, did you mean it?"

He frowns. "The part about regrets? Yeah, I mean, I was an ass and it didn't help me getting better so... I just know I want to fix it."

She shakes her head. "Not just that. The part about still loving me."

He moves his eyes from the snow to her own and she looks at him expectedly. She is so pure, he hates himself from even thinking he had hurt her. Carefully, he takes her hands in his and sets himself just a bit closer to her while still giving her space. He feels the sweat on his forehead, waiting for either getting rejected or getting the love of his life back. Either way, he has to say it. He's been putting it off for too long.

"I meant every word I said, I still and will always love you. How can I not? You're sensitive, smart, beautiful, and so caring. You always put me before yourself. So far, you were ready to give up your cats so I could have them because you knew I needed them."

"Minho-"

"No, you don't get to interrupt me until I'm finally done saying what I have to say. Y/N, never once did I think you were obnoxious. You see beauty in everything, something I'm incapable of doing and that's what bugged me. It bothered me how you are so perfect while I am not even close to be as loving as you are."

She scoffs with a knowing smile pending on her lips. "Now, I'll have to cut you here. You don't see yourself how I see you, Minho. Why do you think I fell in love with you in the first place? You have your own little ways of showing affection, each cuter than the other. I don't mind the rest because I know you do love me."

"I hurt you," he argues sadly.

"And I forgive you, just as long as you don't do it again," she grins, tightening her grasp on his hands.

Minho raises an eyebrow in confusion. "You forgive me... As in-"

"Don't make me say it, I have my own pride too."

Minho wipes away his tears he hadn't realized were starting to fall on his face and doesn't lose another second to bring her close to him and crash his lips onto hers. They're just like he remembered and maybe better, sweet and soft. At that point, both of them are crying. Only this time, it's not because they are hurting. So many feelings are said through the kiss and not a single one is coming from pain. It's sereine and warm, Minho can feel his whole body get lighter.

"Fuck, I missed you so much," he says when they break away, holding her close to his chest. "I'm never letting you go again."

"You better," she chuckles through a sniff.

The door behind them opens wide with more than seven pairs of eyes on them. Minho blushes while Y/N hides herself in the crook of his neck.

"So we good? Everything is sorted out? Please, the food is ready and I'm starving," Jisung complains, receiving a smack from Changbin.

"You're not starving and let them have their moment!"

Jeongin sighs. "I think the moment was already ruined.

The couple, who are still sitting, explode in laughter before getting up and joining their friends in the warmth of their home where Changbin's girlfriend has selected a nice Christmas playlist to complete the ambiance. Music Minho recognizes to be Y/N's favourites. A coincidence? Probably but he likes to believe it isn't.

While the boys congratulate him for being back together with his love, Minho looks outside through the window one last time. He isn't too sure if what he sees is right but four figures seem to look at him proudly.

While nobody is watching, he mouthes a "thank you" before the silhouettes fade away in the wind.

Minho still doesn't know to this day if what happened that night was real or not. One thing for sure is he can't be any more thankful for these spirits. Most importantly, he is finally in a happy place.

taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @taetertotsv | @luvscrazy | @lethallyprotected | @foxinnie8 | @jisuperboard | @jihanlovic | @soobin-chois | @jinxwhore28 | @purplelandsworld | @yeojoongiee | @smugrogerina | @jaehyunicecream | @urmomlikeslinotoo | @syprosight | @thesassy-mia | @chaotic-world-of-the-j | @heartsforlevi | @miyakoa | @seungincore | @skzsilentcryy

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[ara-line]

Some myth busting about Israel's Eurovision participation

Do note that I use countries here when referring to participation. The term broadcasters would be more accurate since a national broadcaster chooses the entrant and the broadcaster is a member of the European Broadcasting Union, the organization behind Eurovision. But a lot of people use the term countries instead of broadcasters, hence why I'm using that word as well.

Myth 1. "Israel isn't even in Europe"

Well, any country that's part of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU), which Israel, Azerbaijan, Armenia, and Georgia are members of, can participate. Same goes for associate members like Australia, hence why Australia is allowed to participate. Lebanon and Morocco could also participate but choose not to because of Israel. In fact, Morocco's only participation was when Israel wasn't participating in the contest, and Lebanon planned to participate but didn't because of Israel's participation. There are rumours going around that this is also the case for Tunisia and Qatar.

Myth 2. "Eurovision banned Russia but not Israel."

Not completely true. Russia was initially going to participate in the 2022 contest, but several countries protested against Russia's participation and threatened to withdraw if Russia was allowed to participate, thus leading to them being kicked out. We will come back to this point about several countries threatening to leave.

Myth 3. "A lot of the artists speaking out about Israel could actually just withdraw from the contest to make a real statement."

You do realize the EBU actually will fine countries if they withdraw too late without good reason? I'm pretty sure a lot of these countries have contracts in place for their contestants, and since the contest is set to take place in mid May, withdrawing would mean possibly being blacklisted from the music industry and losing out on more opportunities. Not for being pro Palestine, but because they backed out on a contract they signed and left the many, many people who work behind the scenes high and dry on really short notice.

Technically not a myth but worth mentioning: 4. "Israel should be kicked out because her presence is a security risk."

Where do we even begin with this? If a country like Sweden, where the contest is being hosted, isn't able to protect its contestants from terrorist attacks, they shouldn't be hosting. It's that simple. I doubt anyone would've said this if Russia was allowed to participate in 2022.

Myth 5. "Eurovision lets Israel pinkwash its crimes."

@pauvrecamille really summed up how a lot of the discourse around pinkwashing can be boiled down to "country I hate gives their gays more rights than one I like." We could talk about how the only transgender winner is from Israel herself.

And if there is a case to be made for pinkwashing in Eurovision, I would argue that it applies more to Russia and Azerbaijan than it does to Israel. At least Israelis can criticize their government and not fear being arrested.

Speaking of Azerbaijan:

Myth 6. "If even one country withdraws from the contest, then that will send a statement to the contest."

Not true. Armenia withdrew from the 2021 contest because of the war with Azerbaijan, while Azerbaijan was allowed to participate in the contest. This is even after we already know they've cheated twice in the contest, on top of the human rights violations. And we could talk about how so many were forcibly displaced because of Azerbaijan hosting the competition in 2012.

We can also talk about how Ukraine withdrew from the contest in 2015 because of Russia's invasion. Russia was still allowed to participate and went on to place second that year.

In 2008, Russia invaded Georgia and in 2009, the Georgian entry was called "We Don't Wanna Put In" which contained veiled references to Putin's invasion. Because Russia was hosting the contest that year, the EBU tried to get Georgia to change their song. Georgia refused and ended up withdrawing.

Remember what I said about several countries threatening to withdraw if Russia was allowed to participate in 2022? It took a total of 10 countries expressing their concerns about Russia's participation and three or four threatening to withdraw if Russia was allowed to actually get the EBU to reverse course on their decision. So there's that.

EDIT: Myth 7: "People wouldn't be bullying the artists for participating in the contest if the EBU kicked Israel out."

Why am I even surprised this is a talking point?

Edit: Myth 8: "Eurovision is treating Israel differently because of the whole lyrics change situation."

I've seen this on both sides, and this is not true. I've mentioned Georgia earlier, but I also want to mention Armenia's 2015 entry, originally called Don't Deny. It was changed to Face the Shadow and allowed to compete. It's reportedly about the Armenian genocide. The point is, stuff like this happens all the time. In 2021, in the midst of protests and lack of freedom, Belarus sent a pro government band with a song containing veiled lyrics threatening to subjugate the protestors. The EBU allowed them to submit another song but ultimately, Belarus was kicked out after they still failed to follow the rules.

So no, this is not out of the norm. At least from what I know. I'm more than happy to edit this section out if I have been proven wrong. God knows I've edited this post many, many times.

Final thoughts:

A lot of the people who are all high and mighty about boycotting Eurovision would absolutely not be doing that if it was Russia participating. They certainly didn't when Azerbaijan did in 2021.

A lot of the misinformation around Eurovision this year can be chalked up to antisemitism and not understanding how contracts work. I think it's also really performative and virtue signaling at best. Yes, it's true that the postcards(clips for the broadcast while preparing for the next performer) for the 2019 contest, held in Israel, where filmed in disputed territories.

Actually, let's talk about the postcards.

You see, KAN, the Israeli broadcaster, chose not to film the postcards in territories like the West Bank. And they were criticized for it by the right wing Israeli government. So there is a true fact about something bad the Israeli government did that you can criticize them for.

Now back to the topic at hand.

Yes, it's true that Israel's lyrics were changed so they could go ahead and participate this year. It's just that now, it's really difficult to have a sane conversation about Israel in general. It's difficult to have a sane conversation about antisemitism with some people. Take this post here trying to combat antisemitism only to end up having to fight Islamophobia. Put a big F in the chat for the OP of that post, yikes.

If no one got called anti LGBT when the World Cup was held in Qatar and people still watched, I don't see why people who choose to watch Eurovision this year should be called pro genocide.

Last but not least, I want to end this on a more positive note, so this year's contest is looking really good. No one's completely sure who will take the win this year, but right now the song with the most bets to win the contest is Switzerland. It's not like 2023, where we all knew who was going to win weeks before the actual contest. So I'm interested in the outcome this year. You guys are more than welcome to throw in your own opinions on this year's caliber of songs if you want.

[sunder-the-gold]

I don't think anyone who wants to play only Black cards in [Magic: The Gathering] is a bad person, or that anyone who wants to play only White cards is a good person.

I'm going to repeat something that a lot of people probably didn't read about my last, long post about the White and Black Colors of Magic: The Gathering.

====

Back when video game studios weren't terrified of offending anyone, they used to provide "Morality Paths" in their games.

No one lied to you about which path was Evil, or at least Anti-Heroic.

To deny that the Pacifist Route of Undertale was Good and that the Genocide Route was Evil would be to insult your intelligence and rob both paths of any meaning.

HOWEVER, if anyone tried to argue that only "Evil People" wanted to play as evil characters, everyone knew not to take that person seriously.

I don't think that there's anything wrong with someone who only ever wants to play with Black cards.

I only think there's something wrong with a person when they try to tell me: "The Color Black has nothing to do with Evil, and the Color White isn't actually Good".

If someone tells me pepper isn't spicy and salt isn't salty, it only reveals how tasteless they are.

====

Bad people can like playing nothing but White cards because of White's wholesome aesthetics. For the same reason that bad people can like beautiful sunsets, lovely music, sugary sweets, and being trusted and praised by the people around them.

Real people who want to deny that they have any character flaws, or bigoted opinions, or any capacity to do harm or evil will surround themselves with wholesome, clean, cutesy iconography and symbols and associations. This is called "Virtue Signaling".

The most toxic people in the world have the most vested interest in appearing harmless.

Before Harry Potter became a dirty word on the internet, people could rightfully reference Dolores Umbridge, the cruel, petty, paranoid, hateful monster who tried to convince herself and everyone that she was nothing but sweetness and light and righteous.

As a person, Dolores Umbridge would play nothing but White cards and would clutch her pearls to see anyone playing Black cards. She would pretend to faint if she so much as touched a Black card.

Which is funny, because if a fictional character like her were accurately represented as a Magic card, she would be pure Black. She may not have been Dark Lord levels of ambitious, but no one who was pure White could have "inventing instruments of torture" as a HOBBY, let alone take delight in making other people suffer, or pledging allegiance to an actual Dark Lord as soon as he replaces the legitimate government as the ruling power of the land.

Because while Magic HAS to choose Colors that accurately reflect fictional characters, real people can choose Colors that have nothing to do with their personalities at all.

Be honest: In terms of real personalities, Blue must be over-represented in the Magic: The Gathering player-base compared to Red. How many impulsive, athletic 'dude-bros' would rather learn the rules, collect the cards, construct the decks, and sit down to play this game... instead of going outside to touch grass and kick balls around? Or at least playing a video game like Call of Duty.

By the same token, if only bad people played Black cards, almost no one would play Black at all.

Good people can like Black's horror aesthetics for the same reason good people can like Halloween, horror stories, and slasher movies. It can be fun to play the villain!

Games are safe ways to explore our darker fantasies because we're not causing real harm to real people. It's all make-believe.

But it's a Red Flag when someone says, "Actually, the villain is the hero."

Not in the sense that the villain is the protagonist, or the protagonist is an anti-hero fighting a worse person, or the protagonist only looks like a monster, or the protagonist is actually a hero being framed as a villain by an actual villain.

I mean in the sense of, "I think Pennywise the Clown, the child-eating boogieman, is an ally to everything I want to see happen in the world."

Or, "I think the mass-murdering psychopath is a decent fellow as long as he only murders people with a skin complexion I don't like, or if she only kills men."

Or, "Morality is subjective or a lie, there is no truth but power, and there is no inherent, sacred value to all human lives."

[aimzicr]

I always associated the Three Ladies of Castle Dracula in my mind as ‘Brides of Dracula’ because pop-culture osmosis and/or adults around me specifically referencing Hammer Films, even if that isn’t accurate to the text. 

Still, with Dracula being a representation of inversions of the ‘natural order’, we have here a ‘til death do us part’ in which he’s Still Single but he hasn’t let go of his other possessions. He’s a warlord, boyar, master of all, and they’re part of what he owns. He doesn’t just treat employees and guests as property to do with as he wishes, but also the women he apparently once loved. Love and possession are apparently the same thing to him. Messed up.

Given the descriptions of the women, two of them seem to be at least locals, or of the same cultural background as Dracula himself (he did go into great excited detail about his history and his empire before, and the strength of his people, so it wouldn’t be that odd for him to be wife-shopping in the European region he conquered). 

On the other hand, we have a woman described in a more Victorian style of beauty, and Jonathan has a ‘dreamy fear’ that he kind of recognises this third woman, the blonde woman. What if he does recognise her, from posters from music halls or theatres that he would have seen as a child? What if this third bride is a famous Englishwoman? An actress or performer who went missing on some tour decades ago? Hence the odd recognition he can’t place - she was a celebrity, and her pictures were around, but a young Jonathan would have no association with her because she was just before his time.

But Dracula had to get the idea to take over London (and then England) from somewhere. What if his new foreign bride wouldn’t stop talking about The Empire Where The Sun Never Sets, and possessive, obsessive Dracula went ‘I want that, too’?

Also, when the women come across Jonathan sleeping, the agreement of who to kiss him first is very quick. ‘Yours is the right’. What if she gets first dibs not because she’s Dracula’s current favourite or best or strongest wife/consort, but because Jonathan is her fellow Englishman? That she misses home so much, and her homesickness has been tainted by her vampirism that she just needs a little taste of home, no matter what that means? And her ‘sisters’ recognise that, and give her the right to kiss first, before they drain him dry?

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Pretty in pink

Another reason why I always knew Clairmy was never gonna be endgame.

This piece of meta has been sitting in my drafts for months. Since I watched S2 for the first time, back in January. After yesterday's teaser, I thought I just might dust it off and hang it out to dry in the sun, so here it is and actually, this is much better timing because I get to supplement it with more and newer meta I came up with later on.

So, the second I heard the first few tunes of the soundtrack I just knew.

The Bear | Pop | 02x05

Storer wasn't subtle.

I just knew that C was gonna end up with someone else, or just letting him go, and when I heard Carmy saying these words:

and they rang soooo untrue and unhinged and even forced or coaxed coming from him and in that context, so OOC, etc... I took it as all the confirmation I needed to firmly stand my anti-clairmy ground even before I got to know her.

It was obvious to me that that was not Carmen Berzatto talking, but The Bear Jr., the kid in HS who grew up isolated and under Michael's shadow.

He was coming from a place of complete and utter stuckness, a stagnant position he regressed to, the second his frustrated HS sweetheart won this battle:

He wasn't necessarily lying when he said he liked her, at least not consciously:

But the TENSE was the problem. He said "I like you so much" when it was the HS stuttery kid the one talking, the one who wished SHE talked to him more, so he didn't have to because he was too shy. He should have said liked if he was being honest with himself and her.

He should have told her something along the lines of: "I had a crush on you in HS, and when you came onto me, I choked. This is so not the right timing for me to do this because I'm tied up with the restaurant, and I just... instead of telling you all of that, I took the easy and cowardly way out and gave you the wrong number. Sorry."

BTW, that's a pattern he will have to outgrow because of Syd if he doesn't wanna lose her. He will have to start telling the woman he loves in proper timing how he feels and why and do the chasing if he must because Syd, unlike C, is NOT A CHASER, she's a walker (pattern she will have to outgrow herself too, as I mentioned → here). No more room for the shy kid, he's gonna have to man up in S4.

After delivering those lines that to me were OOC and plain blatant, he turned into Logan to fit in the party and in C's life (or make her fit into his, whatever).

So, my point is that when I heard the Pretty in Pink soundtrack I immediately drew these parallels:

Duckie is Carmy and Andy is the C person. IDGAF who was gonna play Blane, I assumed that character was gonna be introduced to us later in the series, or not at all. But Andie and Duckie do not end up together because they are not right for each other even though they grew up together. They are just not right for each other because coming from the same place doesn't determine shit in life, the choices you make do. In the movie, they didn't choose each other. PerioT. That was a hell of a musical foreshadowing and I thank the sadist for it because the second I associated that musical piece of data with ep 01x03 I was like: “OK, how much more obvious can you be, Storer? Really? Try harder, please.”

Because why would he give Molly Ringwald such important lines in S1 if Pretty in Pink was not a huge lead we needed to follow in S2 when the same plot of one of her biggest hits made a cameo on the show, right?

So, anyway... I always knew these 2 were endgame:

Waayyyy before Syd said it. Actually, Syd didn't say it bc we don't know who she was talking about, it was STORER who did that in the teaser, HE IS THE ONE WHO SYNCS UP THE MUSIC WITH THE FRAMES OR SIGNS OFF ON WHAT THE EDITORS SYNC UP AS PER HIS REQUEST AND HE'S THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHO ARE ENDGAME ON HIS SHOW. So it's Storer who yesterday told us Pretty in Pink doesn't get the guy, which was pretty obvious, if you ask me :)

Bonus track: Syd is his redemption plot. Syd is his endgame, sure, but first, he has to grow up to be the man he can be as opposed to the bear he is. I always said his whole redemption arc is Kierkegaardian:

And he even looks like him, c'mon!

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[velvetcloxds]

Monique at this point idk what associates with dilf!derek cuz he basically is now with Eli so😆 would you be up for something like Der picking you up from a night out all drunk and he’s all sweet and patient with you?

TIPSY | D.H.

word count: 1k

warnings: reader being a lightweight, mentions alcohol consumption- I included your idea of reader meeting eli as well, fem!reader, age gap

Derek was surprised, to say the least when you told him you were going out for some drinks with Malia, for many reasons but the biggest was the fact that he knew without a doubt that you were a lightweight and in comparison to Malia who quite literally couldn't get drunk, he knew the night wouldn't be ending all that well for you. So, when Malia called saying you refused to let her drive you to her place because you insisted that Derek pick you up, he wasn't surprised and didn't waste much time driving over to the bar to get you.

He heard Malia lovingly reprimanding you before he even turned the corner to see you sat on the curb, twiddling your feet to the beat of the music streaming out from the bar, looking a lovely mess as you hummed along. He couldn't help a small grin at the sight of you, already expecting a rough ride home when you jumped up and stumbled, caught by a very frustrated yet not any less caring Malia who was just as happy as you were when he stopped in front of you.

"Bear," you cooed, excitement earning a little hiccup from you as you reached for him, his arms ready to catch you as you hugged him, hands snaking around his torso as you brushed your face up and down his shirt, unintentionally mimicking a cat, delighted by the fact that he came.

"Hi, honey," he purred right back, a warm hand resting on your lower back as he shook his head, knowing the use of the pet name would keep your dazed mind busy long enough for him to turn his attention to his cousin watching the whole scene play out. "You were supposed to watch her," he reminded her and looked down at you, eyes fighting to stay open as you brought a hand up to fiddle with the zipper of his jacket. "How much did she have to drink?"

"Not enough to have her this drunk," Malia argued and she was right, you'd have defended her if you were more yourself, you truly only had a few cocktails, maybe a few more than you should've but definitely not enough to have you pushing a little past tipsy. "She only had a few of those sweet drinks, she clearly just can't hold her liquor."

"Okay, thank you for calling me and for staying with her, I'll take her to my place," you were happy with that, looking up at him with big eyes and your chin on his shirt as he brushed some smudged mascara from the side of your eye. "You like the sound of that?" he teased and when your smile grew he simply had to kiss your nose, it's boyfriend taxes for having to witness such cuteness without warning.

"Is Eli home?" now, were you sober that question would not have made you excited, were you sober you'd have been completely terrified to officially meet Eli for the first time in this state. You'd heard all about him and him about you, greeted each other over voice notes, or waved at him over facetime before he headed to school, but never the big deal first meeting.

"He is," you gasped, and pulled away, wiping at your face, then softer than a second ago you brought a hand up to wipe at his as well, fixing his beard and nodding when you approved of your work.

"Now we look pretty," you explained and turned to Malia who had assumed you'd forgotten that she was there, to begin with. "Do you want to come to meet Eli too?"

"I think we've had enough Malia time tonight, don't you?" Derek was already searching for his keys in his pocket, a little nod telling Malia that he owes her for looking out for you, the girl giving you a quick side-hug and pretending to ignore you very loudly saying goodbye to her.

It was a mission getting you into the car, you insisted on walking yourself and failing horribly at the act, you'd never really mastered walking in heels sober let alone a little drunk but Derek humored you. However, when you were trying to buckle yourself in with shaky hands and pouted lips he decided to step in.

"You all settled in?" he asked, looking around to make sure you were comfortable, a stray jacket he'd left in the car already propped behind your head and legs folded rather uncomfortably under you.

"Almost," you breathed and he raised a brow at you, curious about what you needed, trying to think of something to use in case you were feeling sick but you simply pouted your lips more, lifting a red-painted finger to point at your lips. "A kiss," you demanded and he would be cruel to make you wait, he wanted to cave instantly, but of course, he didn't.

"You want a kiss?" his hand was still on your stomach from where he held you back to buckle you up and he was happy for that because it gave you an excuse to touch him, both hands gripping his as you nodded. "Alright, since you asked so nicely," and he didn't make you wait any longer, brushing a quick kiss onto your impatient lips.

"Okay, now you can take me home," he laughed lightly at that, squeezing your hand before closing the door and walking around to the other side of the car. You took hold of Derek's hand again as soon as the car started, twisting yourself so you could watch him, the smile not leaving your lips as he drove, not even when you started falling asleep.

Derek carried you into the house, trying to be quiet in the living room but it wasn't much use when he bumped a lamp with your legs, cursing under his breath when the light in the hallway turned on a few seconds later, a tired and confused Eli stumbling into the room.

"Dad?" he was barely awake, looking around for context clues until his eyes landed on you, fast asleep in his dad's arms, snoring lightly and Derek quickly reminded the boy to be quiet. "Is that Y/n?" he asked, much softer this time, with many more questions on the tip of his tongue after his dad nodded. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine, I'm going to get her into bed and then I'll explain," and that's what he did, cooing softly when you moved around after he tucked you in, mumbling incoherently but cuddling further into his pillow, entirely unphased by your surroundings now that you were surrounded entirely by his scent.

"You have a girl in your bed," Eli noted from behind the kitchen counter, a smirk on his face as he took a long sip from his glass, the now empty jug of orange juice standing next to his fisted hand.

"I've never done that before," Derek replied, looking back to make sure he closed the door before joining his son in the kitchen. "I didn't want it to happen like this, I know she didn't either. We had a plan and I was supposed to talk to you about it first."

"It's fine, dad," he sighed, and Derek was surprised to see the smile on his lips, the boy looking rather smug from where he stood. "It's not like it's just some girl, it's Y/n," he stated very lightly, and he'd never say it out loud, but it was annoyingly obvious how much happier his dad was since meeting you and it was even more obvious how much he cared for you. "Your Y/n," he added and Derek wasn't sure his heart could be filled with so much pride because of such a simple sentence but he was wrong, very wrong.

"You'll love her," Derek beamed, in thought really, trying to figure out how to make the next morning as perfect as possible, for you and for Eli. "She's so special, Eli, you'll love her."

"I'm sure I will," he agreed and they shared a light laugh, them having a heart-to-heart was a foreign concept in the Hale house, foreign but entirely welcome. "So should I bring up her being drunk at breakfast?"

"Not if you enjoy living," and Eli knew the man was not kidding.

[savingsallow]

What's in my MC's bag? 🎒

— Let's go raid, my MC, Valentine Black's bag.

thank you @dom1re for the tag! ❤️‍🔥

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

Valentine Black 🌙

School Bag: Medium-sized leather backpack with silver accents

This bag was gifted to her by her late mother for her to utilize once she studies at Hogwarts.

If one looks closely, her initials (V.E.B) are engraved on the bag alongside her middle name Esther. This is because her mother used to call her Esther instead of Val. Also, never address her by her middle name since it will make her melancholic and nostalgic as she associates that with the memory of her mother.

Before I forget, this bag has an extension charm because this kid carries a LOT of things.

What's in it?

Journal - This was a gift from her best friend from the Muggle boarding school she attended before Hogwarts. Val would write down her daily observations and reflections here. She cherishes this journal so much that sometimes she pretends it is her way of communicating with her late best friend. Additionally, she made this journal enchanted later on so that no one would read her entries. Instead, the viewer will just see Val's random doodles and the words are invisible.

Notes - This kid loves to take down notes, especially from her favorite subjects like Potions, Arithmancy, and Astronomy. Although, I wouldn't say that her notes are always organized. Most of the time, it's a pile of mess, but she somehow manages to navigate her notes easily.

Fountain Pen and Inkwells - Despite having an unholy amount of stock of these, Val usually carries a pair and calls it a day.

Leather notebooks - Val owns two of these. One for her potion ideas, and another for her astronomical observations (especially the phases of the Moon).

Perfume - She always brings her favorite floral and woody perfume with her. Val is lowkey obsessed with perfumes.

Thunderbrew Potions - She says it's better to be prepared XD There's always at least 5 of these inside her bag.

Books - Val loves to borrow books from the library. It doesn't matter if it's counted on her library card or not (hi, restricted section 😁) but if it piques her interest, you bet she will borrow it.

Letters - She won't admit it, but she writes a lot of letters, and they're mostly unsent, mind you. The unsent letters are usually love letters that she decided not to send at the last minute since her mind dismissed them as something irrational.

[Bonus: from an AU (to be released soon 👀)]

Music Box - Val carries a music box that was given to her by a childhood friend, Callan Gaunt ( @girl-named-matty ), whom she had forgotten the name and face through time. Little did she know that they'd meet again in Hogwarts.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

— thank you for reading all of this! 🫂❤️‍🔥

[dangan-stuck]

We're here, dammit. This is DanganStuck, and these are the V3 character casts!

SPOILER ALERT. This whole thing contains major spoilers for V3! 

So, this all started when we found a dead body in the Lab… 

Sorry, it’s an inside joke!

Hello, I guess? I don’t know what I’m doing, but here I am, telling you about the Danganronpa x Homestuck AU crossover.

I’m developing this project (?) with [ @happy6machine , @julia-bunncat ] and with the help of some other cool guys as a support team. Lots of headcanon material has accumulated, and progress in the development of the au has simply... stalled, and I thought I’d try to share it >_< because I haven’t seen anyone else doing something like this so extensively!

I’ll start with V3 (my current fandom fixation) and castes, I guess!! The choice for some characters was pretty obvious and straightforward (ex: olive cast for Ryoma and Tenko, purple for Kokichi, indigo for Gonta and etc.), others were more unusual options (violet for Kaito, whaat?), but I swear I have an explanation behind them :Ъ

But first, I’d like to make a small remark: We hadn’t set a specific lore for the whole thing. Sometimes we experimented with transforming characters into trolls during gameplay to see how it would work, leaving the game plot, killings, interactions and so on untouched. Other times, we made up certain plot snippets and events as if they all lived on Alternia. Occasionally, we’ve stayed in the session area (which we’ll discuss further), prescribing classpects, castes, quadrants, and so forth—all these options were considered.

Now back to the castes, let's go in order:

• Himiko is the weakest, slowest, and laziest member of the V3 cast. She isn't very bright, or at least she's too caught up in fantasies. She's also, well, red. I didn't see the point in making up something special for her, so I just put her in the rust caste. It also makes the dynamic between her and some of the other characters very intriguing, which I'll discuss later. Her desire to perform tricks can be interpreted as 'service/entertainment for the people', literally a jester for the public, which suits the lower castes. But what are the tricks? Well, rust and psychic powers, right? :D So Himiko has psychic powers, though not very powerful ones... And still calls it magic, of course.

• Kaede was a… difficult case. OK, my excuse: I wanted to include a representative of every caste (except Fuchsia) at least once, and Kaede got caught in the hot seat. But she's bronze for more than just that reason!  There's a joke that I'll tell you about some other time, because I want to hold its punch for a while. As it is, we're hooked on the scene in the first chapter where Kaede immediately falls on her knees in front of Miu (instinct of subordination??). Also, the music is associated with birds, and all animals are associated with the bronze caste. Of course, Kaede is extremely... feisty and enthusiastic for such a caste, but luckily she has many highblood friends—including Kaito, who stood up for her in-game, and if they were trolls, it would work perfectly ;)

• /heavy sigh/ Keebo.

I originally drew this art [link] when my friends and I were just starting to get through V3, and I just liked the sort of black dynamic between the three of them. I didn't think much about the castes at the time, but ironically they haven't changed.

There are some problems with Keebo, because he's obviously a robot, and I want to keep him as a robot in this AU. The most realistic option is that Keebo is a prototype for a new kind of drone to be used on spaceships. After all, he is an advanced AI imitating a troll, so it makes sense to give him some blood color. Gold blood is often associated with the "trolls are used as batteries on ships” theme, and Keebo was literally created to maintain ships. It's... a bit of a stretch, really, but that's all we have for now. I think the lore will be expanded upon in the future.

• Korekiyo. Giving him gold blood was sort of a joke at first, playing on the fact that Korekiyo, like Sollux, has a point that grants him duality—his sister. However, as we fleshed out the lore, the choice felt increasingly fitting. I'll be writing separate posts, probably more than one, to outline his lore because, folks, this is FIRE. I never particularly liked Kork in the game, but now- hell, I LOVE him. Have pity on the poor boi; he's suffered a lot.

• Ryoma and Tenko. Since they both get the olive caste on the same principle, I will combine them. Guys, It's literally a catboy and a catgirl; what other questions could there be?

Okay, technically, Tenko also receives olive blood because she is combative and strong, which are characteristics of this caste. She generally looks like a cat herself ([EN] we’re referring to her fangs and headband with ears in the beta design, her collar with the bell and some of her facial expressions on the sprites), and her temper matches her caste. I'm not sure how to adapt her hatred of men to Homestuck... yet. Maybe she'll hate highbloods instead? That's something to think about.

Ryoma, for his part, with his whole cat theme (his Lusus is a cat, of course), the resemblance of cat ears on his hat, and his tendency to stare into space—he's a good fit too. And despite his small size, he is quite strong.

• Maki. And that's where the problems and doubts begin to unfold. We were deciding whether to make her olive or maybe jade, given her backstory. After all, she disguises herself as a caretaker in canon, and you wouldn't expect a girl from an orphanage to turn out to be a professional assassin. On the other hand, you might expect that from an olive caste troll. Actually, there are indeed olive assassins. But several factors convinced me to give her this particular caste:

- Maki herself is like a wild cat. Her killer stare, mouth shape, quick reactions, strength, agility, grace.

- raising jade trolls as ''assassins'' sounds not only ideologically dubious (after all, the jade caste has a special place in troll society), but also illogical. Jade's killing instinct is probably suppressed, otherwise there would be complete bloodbath in the brooding caves, they wouldn't get along with each other, they wouldn't be able to take care of wigglers.

- yeah, we've sort of canonised Maki being raised by a group of trolls to be an assassin. And raising an olive for that purpose is a perfectly reasonable idea, given their natural abilities.

- the idea for the jade caste came from the fact that children are attracted to Maki. However, Maki gets surprised by this fact every time. She calls it silly, paradoxical, and strange. Well, it wouldn't be strange at all if wigglers were attracted to a jade blood troll; that's natural. But the fact that they are attracted to an olive one should come as a surprise, even to Maki herself.

• Kirumi. Wasn’t overthinking it. The caste is given to her at the same time because of the method of exclusion (others don't really fit) and because of her calmness, composure, and desire to care for others. Kirumi can also be very, very dangerous, just like the jades in canon ;)

• Rantaro. Anybody ordered male jade? I love them personally, despite knowing they're very rare. Well, that choice is pretty obvious: Rantaro is filled with the desire to care for and protect his younger siblings. Where else could he end up but in the jade caste? He's also just a handsome guy with the cutest face, and he's GREEN, dammit! I made my choice immediately. And there's already a story about him! It's small, but we're definitely going to expand it.

• Shuichi. Do I have to explain anything??? Well, in case someone doesn't know, teal caste and detective work are two sides of the same (hee hee) coin, there was simply no other way.

• Angie. Blue caste. Uuuh, yeah, the elimination method again, I suppose? At first, I considered gold blood to maintain the original palette, but Angie has a blue caste psycho vibe to me. Damn, she's brainwashed half the class at some point! What else could it be but minor mind control? Also, Angie is quite bossy, feels at ease, and has the markings of a dominant personality (oh, the Love Hotel scene...). Blue caste suits her.

• Tsumugi. So, okay, given all her statements about her being "plain" and "nonexistent," it would seem that she should have been given low blood. But listen to this: she BULLIES MIU!

...okay, this might not be entirely obvious, but Tsumugi often makes all sorts of sarcastic comments about the other characters, most of which you can only notice if you replay V3 with knowledge of the plot. Her tweaks towards Miu are more noticeable, though, and considering that Miu herself is an indigo blood, it goes down well. Tsumugi is high-blooded enough to tease the indigo troll, saying things like, "Hey, why is it that as soon as someone starts talking back to you, you immediately turn into such a wimp?" She's also high-blooded enough to ignore Kaede when she tries to talk to her at the beginning of the game. Her blue caste might be the reason the killing game worked out at all, considering how many mistakes Tsumugi made. Who knows, maybe she also created Flashback Lights with her psychic powers...

And... eh. I confess. I wanted to keep her in blue colors, in addition to all the above reasons, so I didn't really consider any other castes.

• Miu. Indigo caste, wow! Well, considering her behavior and the fact that no one had ever punched her through the entire game, it’s CLEARLY obvious. Only a high-blooded troll, a really high-blooded troll, could afford to be so rude to those much lower down. The funny thing is that she targeted low and mid-bloods more often: Kaede, Shuichi, sometimes Himiko, Korekiyo, and Keebo. She didn’t bother, or almost didn’t, with Gonta, Kaito, and even COOPERATED with Kokichi—as if she had to, as if she were afraid of crossing the paths of those above her in caste. Also, Miu said she liked it when Kaede and Shuichi knelt before her...

You might ask—why not purple caste? Still, Miu’s strange behavior is a bit like that of a purple-blooded schizo, isn't it? Well... Firstly, there's nothing to suggest that Miu belongs to this weird purple cult. Secondly, Miu’s odd behavior when someone insults her gives us an interesting, almost Equius-like, God forgive me, “I'm superior to you, but I want to obey; it's SO WRONG but so arousing” conflict.

• Gonta. There was no reason to even try. I did have a stray thought, due to Gonta's nature and his connection to bugs, to place him in the bronze caste, but...no. Given his immense power and his lack of insanity like that of the purple-blooded trolls, you can't put him anywhere other than the indigo caste. Plus, he's from a noble family himself. And this ALSO creates a cool dynamic and adds interesting lore aspects to Homestuck!Gonta that I like VERY much and will definitely cover in other posts!!!!

• Kokichi. Oooh reeeally, who'd have thought? Of course he's purple-blooded! It's not that simple, though. Kokichi is definitely not a crazy purple cultist like most members of the purple caste. We are going to be talking about that separately, and believe me, I will give this guy a lot of lore, because I freaking love him. There isn't much else to say–no other blood color suits him better.

• AND HERE WE ARE: VIOLET-BLOODED KAITO, WAT???? Okay, let me explain!

1. I have a headcanon that violet-bloods are not as obsessed with the hemospectrum as land trolls. This is due to the fact that they are mostly isolated, living in the sea. In that environment, there are only fuchsia caste above them, and no one below them Occasionally, rare purple-bloods get caught on the shores, but EVEN then, their status isn't significantly lower. They don't live in a society where lower-bloods are constantly stigmatized and killed for no reason. They simply don't have any possibilities to "grow" those oppressive, rigid attitudes. Eridan shows this well: no matter how much he talks about hating land dwellers, he always interacts with other trolls on almost equal footing—for example, by hitting on everyone and asking Karkat for advice.

2. Kaito has strong leadership skills and a desire to guide, mentor, and support others. He stands up for Kaede, takes Shuichi under his wing, and protects Maki. This demonstrates the attitude of a strong leader willing to take responsibility. It seems very reasonable for an intelligent, thoughtful violet who knows that he is in a position of authority and must be relied upon. He can't afford to appear weak. No wonder he hasn't told anyone about his illness...

3. He conquered the sea... AND CAME TO LAND!!! All these stories about Kaito in Homestuck could become TRUE if he really is a troll with access to EVERYTHING. Fight a pirate king? Hell yeah! And he WANTS to go into space! Maybe not to enslave worlds, but to get off the planet and pilot a ship—why not? He has nothing to fear, unlike many other trolls, as he'd literally be in charge, with only the Empress above him. But back to his travels: tired of his life at sea, Kaito could just go and explore the land, and nothing can stop him. No other troll but a sea troll could afford to do that (although land trolls shouldn't go to sea).

4. Kaito is daring. And combative. He is pretty much the only one in the class who has no problem expressing his displeasure to Kokichi (a purple blood!) regularly and hitting him. Kaito is generally capable of aggression (I shudder to think how Shuichi must have felt when he was punched—minus another protagonist?) and emotion, which is also characteristic of the highblood. Even when he tries to stop Kokichi at the end, he's probably the only one who can do so after Gonta and Miu was killed.

5. COLOUR SCHEME. Let's just leave him with a beautiful violet. Especially as a highblood, he has every right to dress up. Even a star coat :з

Aaand yeah that's it! It has been a bit of a journey, hasn't it? Gosh, I'm really embarrassed. If you made it to the end, I love you guys so much!!!! I hope you enjoyed it!!! I'll develop this thread if there's minimal feedback and people are interested. And, uh, if you have any questions or anything, go for it. Questions help develop this whole thing.

TRANSLATION PREPARED BY MY FAVORITE WONDERFUL FRIENDS SUNSHINES I LOVE YOU WITHOUT YOU THIS WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU <33333