#at least it’s not called paking or something

[dshlevensverhaal]

Lan Yang dan Islam

Syawal day 3 masih ga ada agenda kemana2 dan masih bener-bener ingin bersiap untuk menghadapi hari Senin dengan matkul statistik yang rasanya aku belum siap untuk menghadapi ujian yang tinggal beberapa pertemuan lagi ini. YaAllah mampukan hamba... :''

Nah, akhirnya kuhabiskan dengan bersih2 dan melakukan hal2 yang mudah nan menyenangkan. Nah pas bebersih tuh inget kalo ada barang yang belom dikasih ke temen2 contohnya gantungan kunci Indo dan oleh2 dari Belanda juga. Akhirnya aku mulai tuh dari Lan Yang sebagai teman yang cukup dekat dan kamarnya juga terjangkau dari kamarku.

Eh main dah tuh ya ngobrol ini itu dari A-Z, ketawa super ngakak pas dia nyoba pelafalan bahasa Indonesiaa yang mood banget dan jadi ningkatin bonding juga. Nah ga berapa lama emang mau udahan tuh mainnya karena belom sholat yak, jadi pas aku blg "I think I have to go coz I wanna pray". Surprisingly, tanpa direkayasa akhirnya jadi nyambung ke cerita tentang Tuhan, ialah Allahu rabbi.

Then dia blg is it your god? And i said yes pray to god in five times a day. And she said, wow i even dont have god and i dont believe it. Teruus aku gali kan tuh, dgn pertanyaan terus who do you think give you such a beautiful life, u can breath and all things you can do now. Dia blg my mother, and i asked who give your mom life then and she said her anchestor. Hingga akhirnya sampai pada di titik, who do you think the first human and who make it? And she said, i think it’s monkey and we as a biologist must believe in knowledge. And I keep asking on her, who made monkeys? She said it’s maybe an alient, and then i asked who made alient, and she said it is out of this world. dann krn udah sampe titik itu akhirnya aku akhiri dengan pencairan suasana sama2 ketawa.

trusss dia nanya suddenly “so do you think there is something who create all things in this world? And i said “yes, i believe it, that’s why i called it’s god who creates all, manages all etc etc”. terusss krn emg takutnya kepanjangan, aku jg ngalihinn ituu krn khwatirnya jd kaku gt kan..

Nah pas udah balik ke kamar.. aku jadi think if i were in her position, how could I believe something yg unseen/ghaib gt ya. if i were not born in this way, would I be the same like her? And surprisingly when i ask her ‘so who do you believe and to whom do you make hope?” She said “i believein myself and only myself can do it”.

daann, yg jadi challengenya aku tuh jd mikir gimana ya cara aku bisa mengemas believe in god ini jadi something yg logical walau mungkin ada satu titik kt emg gabisa pake logic krn itu beyond our logic. Nah yang bikin aku wonder lagi adalah apakah tidak ada sedikit getaran dalam hati kecilnya/fitrahnya tntg something yg mungkin akan muncul ketika dia dalam sautu kesempitan atau hal yg mungkin kl dipikir dr kemampuan manusia itu ga akan bisa dilakukan

Mungkin ini terdengar biasa aja ya, tp aku jd inget salah satu ayat yg bilang kl ya kalo Allah masih biarkan hatinya tertutup ya ga akan pernah dia melihat. Dan semuanya itu emang hak prerogatifnya Allah juga sih ya. Bukan maksud mendakwahi dia tapi I couldnt imagine if I were her and at the same time I also can put my shoes on her dengan level education yg dia miliki, mgkn aku jg ga akan mudah percaya sebegitunya apalagi dengan hal yang unseen and not proven scientifically or even it’s not on my logic..

I mean like… I couldnt imagine if I were her and at the same time I also can put my shoes on her dengan level education yg dia miliki, mgkn aku jg ga akan mudah percaya sebegitunya apalagi dengan hal yang unseen and not proven scientifically or even it’s not on my logic..

lagi lagi, mgkn kalo aku ga dilahirkan yg dari keluarga islam atau at least keluarga beragama ya apapun itu, aku jg ga akan semudah itu percaya untuk something yg unseen or not proven well. Bcs I use my logic and even more I couldnt imagine kayak di cerita yang dalam alquran tntg kaum quraisy yg ga percaya adanya Tuhan ya karena gimana bisa percaya kalo itu unseen gt

dari cerita seharian ini, aku jadi sadar dan feel amazed bgt sama tokoh2 dahulu yg punya eagerness untuk pencarian panjang dan untuk org2 yg terlahir langsung dalam keadaan muslim tuh jd satu plus point tp bisa jg jd hal yg terkesan biasa aja dan ga termaknai dgn baik krn islamnya diwariskan bukan yg bener2 diajarkan dari big why nya. Makanya kl ketemu org yg mau bener2 mempelajari dan mempraktikkan islam dan ngajarin jg ke org lain itu tuh sgt precious krn dengan hingar bingar dunia ini pst itu challenge bgt siih ya.

last, MahaBaik Allah yang menakdirkan aku untuk terlahir di keluarga muslim dan menjadi seorang muslim, sehingga tak ingin kusia-siakan hanya dengan menjadi Islam yang diwariskan tetapi juga agama yang diajarkan dan dipelajari juga secara kaaffah walau mungkin tak sesempurna itu dalam menggalinya tapi at least mengetahui big why memeluk agama Islam.

Semoga Allah kuatkan dan istiqomahkan kita dalam memeluk dan memprakikkan Islam dalam keseharian. Aamiin allahumma aamiin.

[blue-orangeade]

niziu and superm collab stage called joppin’ shakin’

[keyenuta]

PSU: Third Dorm Leader

Name: Morrigan Crowley

Voiced By: Maaya Sakamoto

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Birthday: May 21rst

Starsign: Gemini

Height: 5'11"(180cm)

Eye Color: yellow

Hair Color: Raven black

Homeland: ???

Family: Dire Crowley(Father)

Professional Status:

Dorm: Gaelicia

School Year: Second

Class: 2-C

Occupation: Student, Dorm Leader

Club: Gladiator

Best Subject: Ancient Incantations

Fun Facts:

Dominant Hand: Left

Favorite Food: Black Licorice

Least Favorite Food: Dad's cooking

Dislikes: Being left behind, people who insult her or her father, being underestimated or slighted

Hobbies: Wrestling

Talents: Impersonations

Morrigan Crowley, the blunt and calculative Dorm leader of Gaelicia is a flirtatious and precise student who despite her frightful reputation can be your greatest ally or enemy, just don't cross her or else you may find yourself cursed the rest of your life.

Appearance:

Morrigan is a towering teenage girl with skin as pale as snow, with silky wavy hair as black as a raven. Her hair is rather messy and is usually seen unbrushed. But despite the bangs and hair that casts a shadow on her angular face, her yellow eyes still glow from the darkness. Bringing a chilling sensation with just with a glance, as if she already knows your fate before you do.

And as a side note, wrapped around the crown of her head is a purple headband with golden clasps which bound it. Keeping back some of her hair from completely covering her face. As tucked within them are three black feathers.

Morrigan often has an easy going confident expression on her face. As if everything is a game to her no matter the situation or predicament she finds herself in. Like she knows and controls what will happen.

Morrigan is a very tall, lithe, and curvaceous girl with toned muscles from her love of fighting and general club activities.

Across her pake skin she's usually seen wearing dark purple face paint that arcs all around her face, down her neck and presumably her arms as well.

And usually in her hand or at her back, she wields a black razor sharp spear with purple hues across its glass like appearance. It's the form her stave took when she became dorm leader.

Personality:

Morrigan is a very whimsical and calculative person, often acting very playful or flirtatious with others but just as well, she can be very shrewd. Often hiding meanings behind words, or alluding to something she will do or has planned later on.

But despite her easy going demeanor, she can be rather fight loving, heck even when she was young she had a love of fighting or challenging people. It really gets her blood pumping and her mind snapping to life.

She is a rather cocky person, often seeing many things as a game or simple to be completed. But some flaws that have always been with her have been one, her vengeful nature, if she feels slighted, betrayed, insulted etc, she will often seek revenge or payback with deadly efficiency. Sometimes even warning or messing with people by foreshadowing what she will do.

And for her second flaw, she will hold a grudge for years on end, she will remember every insult, trick, jab, and disrespect you've given to her. And she will plan accordingly. Just thinking and plotting on a fitting punishment.

It's these jagged parts of her personality as well as how menacing and powerful her magic feels that usually keeps people away from her despite how kind and helpful of a person she can be. People often see her as a bad omen without ever really going to meet her themselves. So she often takes it up herself, acting flirtatious, instigating meet ups and slowly crafting friendships. But these sre often few and far between.

And as a fun fact, she took her father's quite to heart a while ago, and she can be a very helpful person, often trying to twist luck in someone's fortune if they ask or need it.

Summary: calculative, vengeful, playful, and helpful

Backstory:

Morrigan in her early days wasn't loved by well anyone, not even her own biological parents loved her. They saw her as a bad luck charm, a curse, and especially when her magic really began forming and leaking out. The weight and chill of it made morrigan seem like death in carnate. So one day, on a trip into town, Morrigan's parents abandoned her. Leaving her alone with no one to help or protect her. So she did the best she could, learning to fight, both with fists and magic alike as no one cared for her.

For the longest time she clawed and fought for life at every day, only being comforted by the crows who guided her. And ultimately she found the biggest crow of all. Dire Crowley, who despite towering over her, age trued to suplex the headmaster and steal his stuff. But thankfully, Crowley calmed the child and adopted her, taking her in as hus daughter. She certainly looked close enough after all, no one would question him too much.

And as Crowley's daughter Morrigan after warming up to the old crow often hanged around him as much as possible. Especially as a child with her getting an even better handling of her magic as she would often shapeshift into a crow and hang out with her papa bird as she calls him. Crowley like you can guess flooded morrigan with love and affection and spent as much time as he could with her as he tried to balance his headmaster duties. But often time due to it, he was at times too busy for certain celebrations and events in her life sadly.

All in all Morrigan had a good childhood after Crowley found her. But over the years thabks to her experiences at a young age Morrigan grew up too fast for her peers. She could at times act the part, but when she wasn't able to this often left her alone. Or if not that, other kids interacted with her in a wary manner. Plus her unnerving magic didn't help matters either. People often said she felt like death, and heck due to it people often messed with her and teased her, and especially so with how her last name and her father had a reputation. People teased her saying her father was horrible at his job, at how he was probably a terrible father too. How could one man possibly lead students into a 100 year losing streak etc. So in a way to kash back out, she developed a vengeful part of herself, often insulting back or making harsh punishments fir ger peers if they disrespected her or her father.

Though I will say, eventually she did gain a best friend/rival/enemy. Both arent even sure after all this time. To make a long story short Morrigan found a friend in Cú Chulainn, who also became her vice dorm head at PSU.

Unique Magic: Weaver of Fate

Anything morrigan touches, she can cast a cure or blessing upon that object or person. Weaving it with large boosts of good fortune or bad fortune. As an example, for bad fortune say she touches a piece of sand, with bad fortune the spot she touched now has a mile deep hole in it when someone walks where she last touched. Now for good fortune, if someone is touched by her for good fortune, if they walk ib the beach they'll be very likely to find potentially a hundred madool or something else of value.

This was born from Morrigan thinking if her past and no longer wanting to be unable to guide her life or fate. She wanted to be the weaver of her own fate no matter what.

Trivia:

She is based on The Morrigan from Celtic mythology

She has gained Crowley's habit of saying things like "for I am so kind/gracious" when she does things for people

This is more a headcannon I have but Crowley's mask is very prescious to him because morrigan made it for him and with the beginning of her unique magic appearing, she blessed it with good luck. And even beyond that addition Crowley always wears the mask as much as he can

Morrigan, can't handle the sun that well for long stretches of time. She will literally call it her age old enemy and give it the bird, sometimes literally if she feels like it

She is the president of the gladiator club, people used to say oh you used your unique magic to win, but morrigan not having any of that, while also taking a page out of her vice heads book, challenged the whole team to a battle one on one. No magic or help.

Depending on how she's feeling in the morning and what she wants to do today she switches her face paints design and color depending on her mood

Morrigan went to PSU mostly because she felt like it was time for her to try leaving the nest so to speak. Though she had to comfort her papa a lot with how emotional he got from pride. His little chick was growing up so fast.

Though when able Morrigan still visits her papa bird, and always as a crow

[crumbsinkeyboard]

Get to Know Me

Well I’m basically an open book, but let me having fun. (I get the question from https://www.stillbeingmolly.com/2019/11/05/100-random-get-to-know-me-questions-tag/)

1.   When was the last time you cried?       3 days ago i found video on instagram about how 2020 had been so far 2.   Do you have kids? If no, how many do you want?       Mau punya anak 3 3.   What’s the first thing you notice about people?       Ramah/Gak 4.   What is your eye color?       Dark brown-is 5.   Scary movie or happy endings?       Happy endings 6.   Favorite smells?       Newborn’s breath, the smell after rain, bau kulit orang abis mandi 7.   What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?       French? 8.   What are your hobbies?       Watching random viedos on youtube, making diy’s, grocery shopping, cuddle 9.   Do you have any pets?       Yes. Mochi and Canti the cats 10. Do you have any siblings?       2 elder brother and sister 11. How tall are you?       153 cm 12. What is the least favorite thing about yourself?       My voice 13. What was your favorite/worst subject in High School?       Fave: Math and English. Least: Chemistry, Physics 14. What is your Favorite drink?       Coffee, any kind of drinks with cheese foam on top of it 15. Favorite Perfume?       Burberry Classic (The imitation one, honestly gatau bau Burberry Classic aslinya gimana? Haha) 16. Favorite memory from childhood?       Perjalanan ke rumah nenek selalu jadi favorit 17. How would you describe your fashion sense?       Anything comfortable. I mostly wear sweater and baggy jeans 18. Tell us one of your bad habits!       Stalking people online. Wkwkwkwk 19. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not?       Yes. I always learn from them 20. Have you ever won a trophy or an award? What was it for?       Award tukang nyapu waktu KKN (sebenernya bukan karena rajin, tapi emang berpasir mulu lantainya, bikin risih ) 21. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?       Main hp, makan-makanan pedes 22. What is the first movie you remember seeing?       Film pertama yang aku tonton di bioskop: Happy Feet 23. What do you like about your home?       My room, my pets, sometimes orang2 yang tinggal 24. One word that describes you?       Clumsy? 25. What’s your favorite quotes?       “You should give a fuck, but save your fucks for things that only matter to you” – Ela Zain, 24tahun. 26. Are you an extrovert or introvert?       I’m an outgoing introvert, if that makes sense. People thought im an extrovert but, no. 27. Are you left or right handed?       Right Handed 28. Do you consider yourself a good cook?       I’m only good at dessert 29. What’s your favorite thing to have for breakfast?       Buttered toast, Coffee. 30. What’s your longest relationship so far?       It lasted 2,5 years 31. What is your biggest fear?       Death of my loved ones 32. What is your biggest regret?       I didn’t put my pet Mandu in a cage 33. What is the most important thing in your life?       Family 34. What is your favorite food?       Sushiiiii 35. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?       Teletubbies and Tom & Jerry 36. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?       100000% avoid 37. What is good about how you are living your life right now?       I don’t depend on anyone, my relationship goes way more healthy than before, I’m happy 38. Who has left the most impact on your life?       My ex 39. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in your life?       Pisang goreng pake sambel 40. Who is the first person you call when something exciting happens?       Boyfriend 41. Who is the first person you call when something horrible happens?       Boyfriend 42. Do you save old greeting cards and letters?       Yessss i loooove letters i save them all even the embarassing ones 43. Do you sleep with the lights on or off?       Kalo sendiri, nyala 44. Do you have a hidden dream that you’ve never shared with anyone?       Yes, im still gonna keep it now 45. What is your most embarrassing moment?       Jatuh ke got karena jalan sambil merem 46. What is something that amazes you?       Museums, nature, woman’s body 47. What is at the top of your bucket list?       Travel around the world 48. What scares you about aging?       I lose my loved ones 49. Would you ever consider living abroad?       Yesssssssss. 50. What book are you reading at the moment?       Still Me by Jojo Moyes

[nurfitriaha]

Commemorating 2 years Working in Government Agency

This month will mark 2 years since I do my very first job in government agency for a long time. The month when I started my adult-life (?), my repetitive activity (?). It sounds like a bad dream I ever had. But, not at all. I look back to the last two years and realized how many things that have changed, for better or worse.

I remember the day before this day, about a weeks before someone (Bu Ibu atasan di kantor lama) told me to start, I waited for several days to be called as an interviewee. It’s not soothing me, a lot. Deg-degan seru euy! 

Sampai pada suatu sore, rasa deg-degan itu menemukan ujungnya. Ibu dan Bapak atasan said Yes. Alhamdulilllaaah. *sujud syukur*

Mulai memasuki kantor awal Mei 2017, tanggal 2 kalau ngga salah ingat. Cukup deg-degan, namanya juga fresh graduate yang sebelumnya cuma proyekan-proyekan bisa kerja bebasss semaunya, lalu berubah jadi kudu lebih patuh dan berhati-hati sama peraturan. Awal masuk, cukup excited, tegang, takut salah, dll dsb. Tapi cukup bersyukur punya atasan yang sangat kooperatif dan mengayomi, pun staf-staf senior yang di situ juga cukup pengertian dan guru yang baik untuk newbie macem aku. Pengisi ruang di bagianku mayoritas lelaki, jadi kudu berhati-hati takutakut kalo salah ngomong atau salah buka obrolan, ngga bisa kerja sama kan repot ntar ke depannya. Meski jadi minim teman perempuan yang bisa diajakin jajan (yg perempuan cuma Ibu atasan dan Ibu staf bagian administrasi, pun sama-sama beda jauh usianya denganku), tapi tak terlalu ku hiraukan karna mas-masnya alhamdulillah nggak baperan kalo soal kerjaan. Beberapa kali salah ngerjain tugas, mereka cukup mengingatkanku dan memahami efek pemula ku, lalu memberi contoh benarnya gimana. Asal aku tidak melakukan kesalahan yang sama berulang kali, ku rasa masih aman. Karna di tempat kerja manapun, orang lain pasti lebih suka sama pegawai yang cepat belajar dan tidak melakukan kesalahan berulang hehehe.

Ah iya sebelumnya, ternyata kalau di kantor tempatku bekerja waktu itu jam kerjanya dimulai jam 7 pagi sampai jam 15.30 untuk Senin-Kamis. Kalau hari Jum’at dimulai jam 6.30 sampai 14.30, Sabtu Minggu nya libur. Jam istirahatnya ternyata ngga kaku-kaku amat kudu jam 12 tet harus istirahat sampai jam 1, enggak, nggak gitu. Istirahatnya bisa di sela-sela 8,5 jam itu. Jadi laporan absen cuma ada laporan kedatangan dan pulang, kan ada tuh kantor yang pas istirahat harus finger print, balik istirahat finger print lagi, trus pulang finger print lagi. Di kantorku waktu itu engga. Itu salah satu negatifnya. Buat ngawasin kalo kalo ada pegawai yang cuman finger print pas dateng trus ngeluyur entah kemana, dan balikbalik udah waktunya pulang, controlling-nya di pimpinan dan CCTV. Tapi, alhamdulillah Bapak Pimpinan di bagianku cukup tegas dan terampil kalo ada pegawai macem itu.

Menyoal tugas di kantor, alhamdulillah masih linier sama jurusan waktu kuliah, jadi ngga harus belajar mulai awal banget, meskipun variannya agak berbeda sedikit. Nggak cukup sampai di situ, kalau jadi pemula di kantor pemerintahan, sudah pasti yang kita kerjakan ngga cuma tugas utama, tapi pasti banyak tugas tambahannya, misal tambahan tugas administrasi kayak bikin undangan, ngerekap kerjaan yang lalu lalu, nyiapkan ruang rapat, nyiapkan absensi, atau misalnya yang lebih substansial kayak nyiapkan materi rapat, mengkaji kebijakan/UU/PP dan sebagainya. Ngga ada keberatan sama sekali, justru ngerjakan hal-hal lain di luar tugas utama jadi obat kebosanan. Oh iya lagi, budaya diskusi juga cukup kental di kantorku. Karena yang kami kerjakan di dunia pemerintahan adalah untuk kepentingan orang banyak, maka diskusi jadi hal yang wajib ketika mengerjakan pekerjaan dengan skala yang besar dan menyangkut banyak orang. Pun ketika misalnya melakukan kesalahan, baiknya terbuka dan jujur ke atasan dengan apapun itu konsekuensinya << sumpah suatu waktu pernah ada salah ke atasan, sampe ndredeg dan takut bangett, tapi berujung lega karna dikomunikasikan.

Ngomentarin orang-orangnya (lagi), selain mas-mas yang alhamdulillah cukup seru diajak kerja sama meskipun karakternya beda-beda, kerja di pemerintahan tuh jadi tau jawaban-jawaban atas segala prasangka dan tebak-tebakan yang selama kuliah menderu di otakku haha. Namanya kantor, isinya manusia dengan background yang beda-beda dan terbentuk menjadi pribadi yang beda-beda pula. Selama kerja, ya sempet juga kadang nyimak atau merhatiin orang lain bekerja atau pas sedang tidak sibuk mereka ngapain, ya sempat juga aku tuh. Trus jadi semakin jelas gambaran kerja di pemerintahan tuh kayak apa. Dari sharing sama yang lain juga jadi tau sejarah dan pengalaman orang-orang pas jadi PNS gimana. Berkalikali ku bilang “oooooooohhhhhhh”. 

Sekali dua kali tiga kali ku dengar banyak yang bilang, “kerja di pemerintahan tuh enak ya nyantai”, jawabannya versiku adalah “tergantung bagiannya dan apa yang harus dikerjain, walau memang secara tenggat waktu menurutku lebih fleksibel dibanding kerja di korporasi macem ibuku yang tiap menit nggetuuu dengan kerjaannya, ga boleh pegang hape, dan baru (agak) selo pas jam istirahat. Kalo di pemerintahan lebih fleksibel kataku”. Tapi agaknya kerja di startup juga lebih fleksibel juga setauku, apalagi kerjanya ngga harus pake kemeja dan fantovel ye kan? hehe seru amat. 

Tapiiii segimanapun itu kerjaan kita, yang penting tuh usahakan kerjakan dengan sebaik mungkin, semelelahkan apapun itu, yang penting juga kudu disiplin sama waktu, karna ending yang indah menunggu di akhir bulan :)).

Soal profesionalitas, kalo di pemerintahan kurasa sangat seimbang antara kehidupan kerja yang butuh profesionalitas dengan tetap mengedepankan unsur-unsur kemanusiaan. Lagi, aku bersyukur banget berada di lingkungan yang orangnya superbbbb baik-baik bangettt, jadi hubungan kerja udah kayak sama keluarga sendiri. So closeeee. Hal yang tidak pernah ku sangka akan ku dapatkan waktu awal memasuki kantor. Sampai sekarang pun hubungan kami semua masih sangat baik. Oiya anyway ini semua tentang kantor lama. 

Tentang semua hal yang aku dapat, di dunia kerja aku juga semakin memahami diriku sendiri bahwa apapun yang terjadi pada diri kita entah di rumah atau di kos, pas di kantor kita tetap harus stay on karna kantor bukan sesuatu yang harus memahami diri kita tapi kita yang harus memahami dunia kantor (mungkin ini yang namanya profesionalitas hehe). 

Pernah suatu hari ngerasa pikiran dan badan udah ngga jelas banget, pokonya nggak banget, tapi pas sampe kantor dituntut harus nyetel pikiran dan badan kudu ready sama fokus-fokus yang harus dikerjain di kantor, bukan fokus ke yang lain. Dengan term and condition di atas, alhamdulillah kalo kondisinya kayak gitu, kantor pun jadi sarana refreshing dari segala hal yang mengganggu pikiran waktu di kos/rumah.

2019, Kantor Baru!

Karna satu dan lain hal, perpindahan itu perlu! Pisah sama orang-orang kantor lama yang udah superr nyaman pol itu cukup sedih sih. Tapi perpindahan itu perlu! New office, new challenge. Sebenernya tugasnya ngga beda jauh sama sebelumnya, tapi tanggung jawabnya ku rasa akan lebih besar. Dan barangkali akan lebih sering pusing, mumet, tak karuan, dan bahagia wkwk. 

Peraturan dan lain-lainnya masih sama dengan kantor lama, tapi bedanya kudu menyesuaikan diri lagi dengan orang orang yang beda karakter lagi. Hmm belum banyak yang bisa ditulis tentang kantor baru, jadi sekalian aja nanti pas udah numpuk lama baru sekalian banyak yang bisa ditulis dan dishare. 

Last but not least, for you all who are going to start working in the government agency, startup, corporate or wherever it is (and whatever your expectation on working world is,) Congratulation! You are in for a ride for something big. Which might makes you feel lost, which might makes you feel frustrated as well sometimes, well I think that might applies to every kind of job or career you’re crafting for yourself, but the least I could say is, “you have to be strong.” 

Take your learning time, be patient with yourself in adapting, be respect to others eventhough it’s hard when you’re caught up with yourself, keep a high sense of self-awareness, and check back on yourself frequently in a while so you don’t feel lost. It is ok to not know if you will really like what you’re doing or not, the important thing is to keep going on your own purpose and discovering the core of what you really like and want to do. Things won’t be perfect, but you can control at least half of that portion yourself.

Good Luck!

4 Mei 2019

[havekiddoswilltravel]

A Perfect Day at LEGOLAND Florida with Kids

LEGOLAND® Florida trip report: making the most out of your time at the park.

Disclosure: we were hosted by LEGOLAND® Florida.

I spent a day at LEGOLAND® Florida with 3 of my kids ages (10, 7 and 6) during a recent Disney free trip to the Orlando area. We have traveled to Orlando and all of the Disney parks over fifteen times, as my parents live in the area. This trip was all about enjoying resort amenities and thus I was looking for something new to do with the kids. If your kids are Lego and/or Star Wars fans, you will have a blast. Managing expectations is very important when visiting this park. They are not Disney, nor do they attempt to be. This is actually what our family loved most about our trip to LEGOLAND® Florida . We've been to Disney World and Disney Land and have done that more times than we can count. We didn’t want to experience a copy of Disney, but with Lego instead of Disney characters.

We’re huge Lego fans and were looking to experience LEGOLAND® Florida. Having said that: do your research and plan accordingly, in order to make the most out of your time at this park. Spend time looking at the family guide and determining height requirements for each ride. This will save you from dealing with meltdowns at the park.

Location:

LEGOLAND® Florida is NOT located in Orlando. It’s actually just 45 minutes from the Orlando theme parks or downtown Tampa.

Address: One LEGOLAND Way Winter Haven, FL 33884 

Trip Report:

We left our hotel in Orlando early on a Monday in February and arrived before opening time. Tip: Get there early and secure a close parking spot. If you have someone with mobility needs, pay for preferred covered parking. It will be worth it. Study the map online prior to your visit. I found the paper map to be a bit difficult to follow while in the hot Florida sun, so I was glad that we had spent time online looking at the layout of the park and planning our day.

 Our kids loved the Ninjago ride (much better technology, graphics and execution than the Toy Story at Disney and with no wait time), my 10-year-old loved The Dragon and the lack of wait times at any of the rides. I loved the return on investment and the ability to see and ride everything in one day, stroller parking that is not a nightmare and the MINILAND, USA rocked. The food was actually affordable compared to Disney and they have coffee available throughout the park. They get that parents are their target audience and the park catered to families. We stopped by the LEGOLAND® Florida Hotel just to check it out for a future visit. It looks like a great place for families with young children and any Lego enthusiast. It’s perfectly themed with Legos everywhere and a nice change from the other Orlando amusement parks.

 LEGOLAND® Florida is comprised of 150 – acres offering a variety of themed lands that will be familiar to Lego fans. The park is geared toward children ages 2 – 12, but I can see my Lego loving teenager being impressed by the offerings. As kids who spend hours of their days building with bricks, they were extremely impressed with the time and energy that it would take to put together the creations throughout the park. Our kids absolutely loved their time at LEGOLAND® Florida . They are already asking for us to return and stay at the hotel, but to bring their dad and older sister next time. They are also eagerly anticipating the opening of LEGOLAND New York, which will be opening near us in the 2020. Is LEGOLAND® Florida a worthwhile endeavor while visiting the Orlando area? You must know your kid’s interest prior to making that call. For our bricks loving family, Legoland was a perfect way to spend a sunny Orlando day.

Feedback: our favorite LEGOLAND® Florida Park areas.

Miniland USA

-          This themed area is comprised of miniature versions of destinations that our family has actually traveled to (ex. Daytona International Speedway, Las Vegas, San Francisco, New York City and Washington, DC) and I was very impressed. Our kids are also huge Star Wars fans and thus, we visited this “land” twice during our recent one-day trip.

Ninjago Land

-          My two oldest kids are 2nd degree black belts, I’m a first degree black and the younger two are diligently working toward their black belts. We love all things Asian culture and martial arts and thus, Ninjago Land was our favorite. The Lego Ninjago ride is a 4D ride with a similar concept at Disney’s Toy Story, but with much better execution. We loved it.

The Dragon

-          LEGOLAND® Florida is not known as a thrill ride destination, yet my 10-year-old was ecstatic to be able to ride a roller-coaster with virtually no line, nor a need for fast passes. Riders must be 40 inches tall to ride and some kids must ride with an adult.

MInifigure Trading

-  Guests can purchase or bring LEGO® Minifigures to trade with LEGOLAND® employees throughout the park. Most employees wear at least one Minifigure on their brick badge (name tag) and are happy to trade.

Pin for later:

Pro tips:

-          As aforementioned, I highly recommend that you arrive early. Not only will you score better parking, enjoy the opening of the park ceremony and make the most out of your day, but you’ll get through most of the park before the Florida sun wears you out.

-          Check park hours prior to your visit, as they vary based on the time of year. Also, the water park was not open when we visited in February. So, if that is important to you, make sure to check their operating schedule prior to buying tickets.

-          Check Groupon for discount offers.

-          If you’re a homeschooler, check out their website for information on homeschool rates and dates.  Click here for more details regarding securing homeschool rates prior to your visit. Homeschool  rates are not given at the gate.

-          Spend time online researching the park, reviewing the map and planning your day. I also recommend exploring the park counter clockwise starting at the carousel. Shhh, don’t tell other people this secret. Most folks will explore a park clockwise and thus by going in the opposite direction, we found that most rides had no lines.

-          LEGOLAND® Florida offers affordable food options, but I paked a backpack with snacks and put filtered refillable water bottles in the stroller (make sure to use filtered water bottles, because Florida water tastes awful). Eating on the go allowed us to maximize our time at the park and enjoy all of the rides in one day.

Lodging:

-          Just like Disney and Universal, LEGOLAND® Florida offers the option of staying onsite or nearby. We stayed at an offsite Orlando Resort for this trip, but am already planning a return trip to stay onsite. Lodging options include: The Legoland Resort which is located adjacent to the park and Legoland Beach Retreat which is a few blocks away and can be seen from the main road. In addition to restaurants, pools and perfectly themed Lego rooms, guests also get early access to the park. Be on the lookout for the LEGOLAND® PIRATE ISLAND HOTEL which is scheduled to open in the Spring of 2020.

Military Rates:  U.S. Service Members receive FREE admission to LEGOLAND® Florida Resort & Water Park, no restrictions or blackout dates. This offer is not available online. To redeem this offer, please bring a valid military ID to any LEGOLAND Florida Resort ticket window.

Check out my VLOG from our adventures at LEGOLAND® Florida for more pictures of our day. 

Author: Ruth Mendes of Have Kiddos will Travel

About Ruth: I’m a wife and mami of 4 active and globe-trotting kiddos. I’ve always loved a good adventure and truly believe that it’s possible to travel with kids. Join me, as I share our adventures and inspire you to get out of the house with your kiddos. Whether you’re planning a family vacation, a road trip or a trip of a lifetime to an exotic destination, I’ll share insights, trip reports and information that will inspire you. Check back often to stay up to date on things to do with kids at your next travel destination.

[not-so-important-post]

Post apresiasi untuk orang tua dan semua sahabat2ku yang rajin kasi makan tapi gak aku foto.

All the way from town my dad is always sending me lunch and dinner box just to make sure at least i consume something in a day. I am not saying that broken heart is the end of the world but…this “case” is just…next level.

Thank you to my homies yg gebuk kepala ku pake tas segede gaban yang bilang “makan gak lu anjing gua tampar muka lu ya”

Yang jambak rambutku buat setidaknya minum susu.

Yang tiba2 kirim makan ke kos.

Yang setiap hari selalu chat “UDAH MAKAN NASI BELOM” tapi gak pernah aku bales.

And the never ending “aku go food in” call.

I hope, you will also eat well, live long and happy. No matter how much i hate you for being YOU, but i wish you well.

Justru orang-orang yang gak pernah kebanyakan cincong, gak tinggi omongannya yang nyatanya paling brisik disaat seperti ini, or is it just my love language is never a “i love you so much” and disappear at most of the crucial times.

[rogerjharding]

Essay in the #OurOtherNationalDebt collection in response to the COVID-19 crisis. Full report and responses to it available here: https://www.ourothernationaldebt.com/

FULL TEXT:

The coronavirus has illuminated who is truly indispensable in modern Britain.

While some are confident this will bring about new-found respect and reward for working class people, I’m sceptical. The financial crash also brought the sense that things wouldn’t be the same again, and they weren’t, but not for the reasons we hoped. Working class people rarely fare well during or after economic turmoil and, with the financial crash in the rear-view mirror, many of us know it.

I worry an anger is building in many working class communities about how inequitably the current costs and risks are being shared. Just like the idea ‘we’re all in it together’ after the crash, the idea this crisis is the same for all of us just isn’t ringing true. The disconnect presents fertile ground for polarisation, pessimism and populism to grow.

The pain in communities is raw and real – and it risks being deepened by middle class activists and commentators too readily racing to talk about the ‘opportunities’ this time presents. Working class movements can, however, start to think – carefully, cautiously, compassionately – about the things we can win together if we stick together. The young people at RECLAIM kicked this off with a rapid response campaign to thank #TheIndispensables but we will need to have a medium and long term plan if we’re to make sure Britain’s working class comes out of this time stronger and more united.

Right now, YouGov polling for the Times Red Box suggests that there’s a reasonable degree of togetherness but in a recent report the Collective Psychology Project highlighted that there’s a fairly consistent progression in collective emotional responses to major events. The initial ‘heroic’ phase is met with high altruism and is then followed by a ‘honeymoon’ phase of great togetherness and optimism. However, this relatively quickly gives way to a long ‘disillusionment’ phase marked by increased polarisation, feelings of abandonment and concerns about the limits of the response.

It is hard to say whether we have reached a disillusionment phase of this crisis, but the toll on people’s mental health is already clear. Ipsos Mori polling for Kings College London finds that half of us feel more anxious and depressed and 29% are finding lockdown extremely difficult (or expect to) in the next four weeks (notably rising to 42% for 16-24 year olds).

Working class people are already experiencing greater threats to their jobs (as reported by the Resolution Foundation), living in more densely populated areas (as covered here by the FT), not having enough space at home (as reported by the JRF), not having as much access to decent green spaces (as reported by CABE), having poorer lung health due to being more likely be exposed to air pollution (as reported by Asthma UK), being more likely to have underlying health conditions (as reported by the King’s Fund), finding it harder to get online or have enough devices for everyone at home (as reported by the Sutton Trust), having less ability to home school (also reported by the Sutton Trust), having less access to affordable food (as reported by the Food Foundation), being less able to access cheap credit (as reported by the Centre for Social Justice) and low paid workers are disproportionally represented in the key worker jobs that expose them and families to increased risk (as reported by the IFS).

Put even more starkly, Office of National Statistics data shows that living in the poorest neighbourhoods means you're twice as likely to die from the coronavirus as people living in the richest ones.

Strangely, I’m not sure that horrific reality is the thing likely to generate the most anger. Having a shorter life due to your postcode was already the pre-coronavirus reality. Instead it’s often the subtle, more visible things that anger people more.

Who is (not) in the room always shows in a crisis

Being working class often makes you acutely aware of the little ways people unconsciously reveal they’re better off. Despite us now being physically separate, social media, video calls and simply how we talk about our lockdown experience is giving people greater insight into ‘how the other half lives’. People won’t easily forget their sneak-peek into the bigger, nicer, greener space of others doing less essential work or making fewer sacrifices.

This moment also tells us a lot about who makes decisions and what informs them. There’s one example that features frequently in discussions at RECLAIM. In early March, during the government’s new daily press conference, ministers and scientists provided guidance on what to do if you suspect someone in your home has the virus. It encouraged those self-isolating ‘to use a separate bathroom’ if possible. This obviously isn’t bad guidance, but the assumption this was more important to cover than how, for example, you deal with isolating in an already-overcrowded home, is telling. I similarly doubt the need for guidance – then flouted in at least one notable case – on whether you can use your second home will be forgotten either.

Some working class people will also be asking themselves why it is that old unemployment and housing benefit rates (the improvements noted in Ashwin Kumar’s essay) aren’t good enough now that it isn’t just them who need to claim them.

This sore created by the coronavirus is only likely to increase when our divides are further exposed by the lockdown easing. People will spot that middle class professionals are more able to continue to work from home and that middle class young people are benefiting from more home-schooling and tutoring (as reported by the Sutton Trust). The young people we support at RECLAIM already often flagged the state of their high street and related areas as top of their list of local economic concerns. Boarded up shops and ever-decreasing visitors are visible signs of something not being right, and sadly many high streets will look a lot worse when the lockdown ends.

In this context it’s not surprising that people hanker for the past. While activists on Twitter enjoy sharing slogans about how ‘we can’t return to normal, because normal was the problem’, much of the British public have been enjoying nostalgia. Recent research from Thinkbox, the TV marketing body, reveals a lockdown surge in the number of us watching old TV, with Last of the Summer Wine and Only Fools and Horses repeats doing especially well. Spotify has seen something similar, with increased subscriber use of ‘throwback’ playlists.

Part of why we get comfort from the past is that we see it through rose-tinted glasses. Comparisons (many unhelpful) are regularly drawn between this crisis and WW2. Our national mind’s eye view of the end of the war is the street celebrations of VE day. Many hope for something similar at the end of this period. What we don’t tend to reflect on is the disillusionment and anger many people felt soon after 1945.

While some people cautiously but thankfully dreamt of us building back better, many just wanted done with Britain. David Kynaston’s Austerity Britain notes that in spring 1948, just weeks before the creation of the NHS, a Gallup poll found that 42% of people wanted to emigrate (up from 19% in 1945). We also tend to ignore the post-war resurgence of antisemitism on the streets of our cities, showing that hatred and division can quickly re-emerge.

Turning anger into accountability

It’s hard to know what the exact dividing lines will be this time, but in crises there are always those who encourage working class people to fear one another. White people encouraged to fear people of colour, working people in towns and villages told to be wary of those in cities, southerners to suspect northerners and vice versa, and longer-standing residents urged to fear more recent arrivals. As Kitty Usher notes in her essay, one new split in this crisis might be those furloughed and those not.

We face a double threat here – populists on the right exploiting divisions and some on the left being parasitic on people’s pain. There are some who get excited by a crisis, despite all the human misery, because they see this as a necessary price for change. It’s often not even subtle: at one recent webinar for organisers I heard a left activist happily tell people ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m really excited by all this’. Those don’t feel likely to be the words of someone who spends a lot of time truly listening to working class people.  

We need to get past the anger and turn it into a drive for real accountability. The list of policy, societal and business responses needed to do justice to those leaning into risk or having to get by with even less is huge. This collection covers a good number of starting points on wages, job security (see Andrew Pakes’ essay), the strength of our social security (see Ashwin Kumar’s essay), housing (see Rachael Orr’s essay), our approach to immigration (see Satbir Singh’s essay) and much more. This will all be vitally important to honouring the country’s other national debt, but so will ensuring working class people have a permanent seat around the country’s top tables, regardless of which party is in power and whether we are facing good times or bad.

We need much more direct involvement of working class people in the decisions that affect our lives, starting with specific youth assemblies as part of the national commission outlined in the introduction to this collection. At every layer of society – not just in the professions, business and politics but in charities and funders too – we need class inclusion to be a core equality concern.

There is a very real risk an unrepresentative charity sector becomes more distant from the country when the register of which organisations survive is taken (as noted on race by Charity So White). As work we supported young people on last year showed, the current approach of some charities inadvertently alienates young working class people. If organisations in any sector want to build back better they will need to look as much at their own practice as the changes they demand in others. At RECLAIM we’re reshaping our work and are pleased to see a growing number of organisations work with us and the young working class people we support to go on co-discovery processes to work out the specific changes needed in their field.

Finally, we all need to get better at explicitly calling out those that sow division amongst working class communities. Emerging research from the US shows this is the best framing approach to counter hateful populism. This approach means campaigners on economic issues getting more comfortable explicitly talking about race and immigration, rather than always hoping to pivot away from them. This also means helping everyone to feel included by being explicit about how policy ideas deliver for working class people whether white, black or brown, a more recent arrival or someone whose family has been here for generations. Most importantly, to be successful this requires campaigners getting as busy delivering better communication messages to the unconverted as they can be debating how best to fine tune them with the choir.

That we owe working class people is so beyond question it unites the Guardian, Telegraph and FT. This situation is also changing so quickly that it’s hard to know what exact prescription of proposals will do their contribution and sacrifice justice. The only way to know for sure is to have working class people round the table when it’s decided. This should be a central legacy of this crisis, the idea that essential workers are essential voices. Working class people more than have the talent, strength and ideas to finally steer the country they so obviously drive. It’s time for all of us to make it happen.  

Roger Harding is Chief Executive of RECLAIM, the Manchester-based charity powering young working class people to change the country today and lead it tomorrow. He is a trustee of Victim Support.

@Roger_Harding

[farkive]

Love Language

“Knowing your love language can be one of the single most important things in a relationship" --Robin R. Milhausen, PhD, Associate Chair, Department of Family Relations and Applied Nutrition, University of Guelph.

randomly read an article and i found this quote. i suddenly think: “whats my love language? and how to know my love language?”. the answer is I DONT KNOW.  the article said that "Without this knowledge you can miss that your partner is being loving and caring”. aku gak tau kenapa aku gak tau dan aku tiba-tiba merasa bodoh karena baru tau kalau ini hal yang penting dalam sebuah hubungan. AAAAAAA WANNA SCREAM OUT LOUD but i knew it had no effect at all, then i start by thinking about whats makes me feel most loved and cared for, how i like to give and receive love, and so on.

anyway, in the article said that there are at least 5 love language FYI, which are;

1. Words of Affirmation, means expressions of care and affection. contohnya kayak pujian “kamu cantik deh hari ini”, “aku suka kamu pake baju ini keliatan ganteng banget”, “sayang makasih ya” and so on. atau kalimat motivasi, kayak “semangat ya sayang aku yakin kamu pasti bisa”, atau kalimat sehari-hari kayak “selamat pagi sayang or selamat tidur sayang” anything deh yang expressing your love.

2. Gifts, this one means a gift that makes you feel loved, noticed, and appreciated. kaya flowers, chocolate, book, or anything.

3. Acts of Service, such as doing something helpful or kind for your partner. for examples tawaran diantar atau jemput (its doesnt mean kang ojek ya, tp karna showing perhatian ajaa), atau bahkan kayak bantuin project, dll deh yang showing your effort to make your partner happy.

4. Quality Time, kayak spending time together, bisa jalan-jalan, makan malem, dll. atau kalau yang LDR mungkin quality timenya via online aja haha telponan atau vcall misalnya.

5. Physical Touch. its not always about a sex but an expression of love, such as holding hands, hugs or kiss.

AND BACK TO MY QUESTION BEFORE........ whats my love language? well, i dont really love words of affrimation tbh. gak tau kenapa kayak aneh aja hehe mungkin karna gak terbiasa kali yaa (but it doesnt mean aku gak suka yaa, tetep aja kl pasangan showing his word of love ya aku happy!), cuma mungkin aku lebih suka poin lain kayak quality time. looks very romantic i think. spending time with your love, sharing each others, kayak i dont have to showing my love by word, but spending much time with you means I LOVE YOU. in my case, i mean Long Distance Relationship, spending time via call means I CARING YOU A LOT AND I LOOOOOOOVE YOU SO MUCH. hehehe feelin so happy we can talking a lot, knowing each others, sharing thoughts, or even gossip. ah jadi kangen:(

dan masih ada satu poin lagi. i dont know why i choose gift as my love language after quality time. maybe because i dont know what about physical touch (HAHAHA HONESTLY NEVER DOING THIS THINGS, dont know if i feel it later). i feel like giving a gift is matters for me. kayak penting banget untuk kasih sesuatu ke orang yang aku sayang. i doesnt mean to define love as a material object, but i love giving. bawaannya seneng aja kalo kasih sesuatu ke orang yang aku sayang. sedikit cerita, didnt mean anything, tapi ada beberapa waktu aku ngerasa pengen bgt kasih sesuatu yang dia suka. aku bingung banget, dari mulai parfum, dompet , dll (sering random jalan di mall liat barang2 cowo yang lucu ingetnya doi). waktu itu terlintas dia suka buku dan lucky me, i know what book he’s looking for. aku cari di banyak toko buku lokal tp gak ada, then i finally found it on international bookstore di salah satu kampus. HAHAHA FYI aku sampe cari di BINUS. jauh bgt:( di mall2 waktu itu entah kenapa selalu belum ada. i can feel my effort and its mean I LOVE YOU and am happy doing this. but the sad part is, our relationship must end before i can give it to him, before i showing how much i love him. HEHEHE. masih ada beberapa kisah lagi sih, tapi kayaknya gak usah dibahas lagi. but things that must highlighted here is “gift’ not always about materil but an effort to showing that u love your love.

dan review dari tulisan ini adalah penting untuk kita tahu sebenernya love language kita dan pasangan kita tuh apasih. kita juga ngga bisa memaksa pasangan untuk melakukan hal yang hanya kita suka. maksudnya pasti pasangan kita punya love languangenya sendiri kan, jadi ya adaptasi aja. kenali love language masing-masing agar kita sama-sama merasa saling sayang dan disayangi.

#mari kita sudahi karna lama-lama kayaknya jadi curhatan wkwkwkwkkw

#alasan menulis ini karena tiba2 teringat betapa bodohnya aku dulu sering ngerasa aneh when he saying love word tapi akhirnya aku malah nyesel karna kangen, nyesel karna belum sempet giving this kind of love. bye. yolo!

[monicagellest]

Para sa susunod na babaeng mamahalin n’ya, Hi. Di pa kita kilala pero ayoko na sa’yo. Maging honest na tayo, di pwede maging friends ang past at present. Sana mabasa mo ‘to. Guide mo rin ‘to, ikaw din naman makikinabang dito. Una sa lahat, favorite n’ya si Thor at Guardians of the Galaxy. Oh ano? Gusto mo din ba yan? Kung hindi, gustuhin mo. Before, di ko gusto GOTG kasi inantok talaga ako nung pinanood ko yan kaso syempre mahal ko yang taong yan kaya ginusto ko na din. Ako, favorite ko si Iron Man at kung may gusto kang gustuhin sa Avengers, wag si Iron Man, respeto naman. Nasa’yo na nga s’ya pa din ba naman si Iron Man? Magtira ka naman para sakin. Nanjan naman si Hulk, si Black Widow (favorite ko din to), Captain America (pati eto) at si Hawkeye. Asarin mo s’ya na sa Thor pinaka-weak na Avengers. Kulitin mo. Ewan ko kung hanggang ngayon nanonood pa din s’ya nung horror na series, pero pagdating ng gabi tinitigil n’ya na yun kasi takot din yan eh nagpapakain pa ng aso yan tuwing gabi, takutin mo s’ya, asarin mo. Mahal na mahal n’ya yung Mama n’ya. Jan ka mas maf-fall sakanya. Ang laki ng respeto sa nanay n’ya. Kini-kiss n’ya pa din yun hanggang ngayon. Mama’s boy yan. So pag legal na kayo sa family n’ya, i-try mo lahat para i-close nanay n’ya. Sabi n’ya mabait naman daw Mama n’ya, muka naman eh, kasi tignan mo s’ya mabait din. Yung pinsan n’ya, si Jewel? Yun paborito n’yang playmate. Di ako mahilig sa bata pero isa si Jewel sa mga gusto kong babies. Maldita daw yan parang ako. So kung sabihin n’ya sa future na ka-ugali mo si Jewel, wag ka maniwala. Ako unang pinagsabihan n’yan. Oo, mainggit ka talaga sakin. Paborito n’ya, champorado at kare-kare. Favorite ko din yang dalawang yan. Feeling ko nga sobrang compatible namin eh. S’ya nagturo sakin magluto ng champorado. Hehehe. Kaya pag kakain kayo sa future ng champorado, isipin mo ako. “Ay favorite nila ni Kate ‘to.” Oh edi ngayon di ka na makakain ng champorado kasi ako maiisip mo? Hahahahhahaha! Tapos pag kakain yan ng avocado, di sya mahilig dun sa mismong shake, yung mismong fruit lang tapos lagyan mong sugar. Parang Lolo ko lang. Dami namin similarities ‘no? Pag galit ka sakanya, sabihin mo dahilan. Wag yung di mo na lang kakausapin. Maging mature ka. Pag gusto mo lambingin, yakapin mo lang s’ya. Alam n’ya na yun. Ang bango n’yan sobra. Dadaan lang yan sa harap amoy na amoy mo na. Siguro kung maliit ka, pag niyakap mo s’ya, maf-feel mo yung heartbeat n’ya. Sarap sa feeling. Hahaha. Tapos pag may laro yan, try mo yung best mong manood sa mga games n’ya. Laking part mo dun. Sobrang galing nyan mag-basketball at volleyball. I-cheer mo lang sya matalo manalo. Pero shempre mas kelangan ka n'ya pag talo sila (which is madalang mangyari, sure win pag nandun sya) basta ipa-feel mo na nanjan ka lang para sakanya. Pag nakaka-shoot sya, tumayo ka, pumalakpak ka, sumigaw ka. "Ang galing mo, love!" Pero tangina naman, wag naman love itawag mo sakanya. Akin yan eh. Baby na lang or babe, bae, hon. Basta wag love. Sa umaga, hirap yan gumising. So pag nahawakan mo cellphone nya ang gawin mo mag-set ka ng alarm nya, 30 minutes ahead para may time pa sya makapag-muni muni. Laging late kasi yan eh. Pero masipag naman magaral yan. Im-motivate ka talaga mag-review and all. One time, nataasan pa nyan ako sa exam. Pucha, kahiya eh. Eto pa!!! Pinilit ko sya palitan dp nya, tas inaasar ko sya ng fuckboy sya dun pero di talaga. Sobrang pogi lang talaga nya hahahahhahah. Sarap sabihan ng "Mine!!!!!!" Tapos ngayon isisigaw ko na "yours!!!!!" #iyakakoih Sobrang laki ng respeto nyan sayo. Pag binigyan ka ng rosary bracelet, that's the real deal. Nung binigyan ako n'yan dati, feeling ko engagement ring na eh  Wala na yung nga ganun ko ngayon, napigtal na lahat. Kaya pag bibigyan ka n'ya nun, be thankful and make sure na iingatan mo. Dati, gabi na ko nakauwi, nasa bahay na sya nun ah, hinatid pa talaga ako. Eh kaya ko naman na sarili ko. Oh tamo? Mahal na mahal ako n'yan. Feeling ko nga walang makakapantay sakin. Angas eh no? Feeling ko lang naman. Sya minsan naghuhugas ng pinggan nila, wag mo sya tutulugan ah. Hintayin mo kasi feeling ko nagmamadali yan para lang makabalik agad sa messenger. Nah. Sabihin mo "take your time." Tapos eto ah, dati talaga, nak-korny-han ako pag kunyare video call tas natulugan. Totoo pala yun. Makakatulog ka pala talaga. Hindi dahil sa mga kwento n'ya, kasi parehas na kayong pagod nun eh. Intindihin mo sya kasi sya din ang pinaka-maintindihing taong kilala ko. Sobrang haba ng pasensya. Sobrang ma-respeto. Pag minahal ka n'ya, mahal na mahal. Pero pag tapos na s'ya sayo. Tapos na. Wala ka ng babalikan. Kaya wag mo sayangin tangina naman. Deserve ng taong yan mahalin eh. Pag aalis ka, lagi kang papayagan nyan. Basta update mo lang sya. Sana wala kang bisyo, di ka nagy-yosi or nagiinom kasi hello mahiya ka naman, sya nga ni-tanduay ice di nainom eh. Eh ako naman minsan lang nainom, pag may party. Jan kami nagumpisa mag-away, kasi feeling ko wala syang tiwala. Tas kelan ko lang na-realize kaya pala sya ganun kasi gusto nya mapabuti ako. Shempre that time sarado utak ko. Gusto ko walwal kung walwal. Tanga eh. Alam mo ba, never naging issue samin ang selos. Kasi yan, malaki tiwala nyan sayo pag tungkol sa lalaki. At ako, ganun din. Oo, magagandahan yan sa mga short-haired na babae pero that's it. One time, nakakita ako ng Mika Reyes vibe na babae, pinicturan ko pa yun tas sinend ko sakanya (at may something kami nun ah) gusto ko lang makita nya kasi alam ko naman di n'ya ko pagpapalit. Ako may sobrang ka-close akong friend, feeling ko di din naman sakanya issue yun. Basta never naging issue sainyo yang babae at lalaki. Tsaka, wag mo na hingin password n'ya sa fb. Handa naman nya ibigay pero wag na. Hayaan mo na may privacy pa din kayo. Ako kaya ko lang hiningi password nyan kasi inaaway sya nung jowa ng friend namin. Basta wag mo hingin password nya. Tapos eto, eto yung hindi ko nagawa na sana ginawa ko. Mag-picture ka ng madaming madami pag kasama mo sya. Magselfie kayo ng selfie. Wala akong pake kung mapuno yang memory ng cellphone mo, basta punuin mo yan ng muka nyo puñemas. Kahit panget ka dun, go lang. Ikaw pa din naman pinaka-maganda sa paningin nya. Tapos once in a while, magpost ka sa twitter ng photos n'yo. Wag araw-araw ah. Kaaduwa yun. Gawin mong header. Or icon. Pag naglalakad kayo, hawakan mo kamay nya or yung damit nya sa likod parang nawawalang bata. I think yun talaga ang pinaka-sweet sa lahat. At alam mo, feeling ko clingy sya, ako kasi gusto ko pag kaming dalawa lang, dun lang ako clingy hindi dahil kinakahiya ko sya, kundi dahil gusto ko na parang maging precious moment namin yun. Tsaka daming chismo at chismosa sa paligid no. Alam mo ba dati napaso yan ng plantsa nung baby sya, di sya umiyak  Ganun ata sya ka-manhid at ka-strong, charot! TSAKA NAMO KA CRUSH NAMIN SI IZA CALZADO AH!!! Humanap ka ng ibang ic-crush nyo. Crush na crush namin yan!!!!!  Alam mo, girl, aaminin ko naman. Mas pinili ko yung panandaliang tao kesa sa pang-forever. Kahit kami nung present ko that time, may time na gusto ko sya kausapin kasi dati, edi naglalakad kami ni guy # 2, tas tumawag nanay nya, alam mo yung binigyan ako ni guy # 2 ng sign na "shhhh, manahimik ka muna, nanay ko natawag" WTF. Na-offend ako. Naisip ko s'ya bigla kasi edi ba nga gabi na, tumawag mommy nya, sabi nasan na daw sya, sabi nya "hinahatid ko lang si Kate." WOOOOH PAKSHET!!!! Kinilig ako nun. Tsaka s'ya lang yung taong kwinento ko sa tita ko na yung tita ko walang sinabi na negative. Kaya ikaw, pag dumating yung time na na-meet ka na n'ya, na pinaramdam n'ya na mahal ka na n'ya, wag mo sayangin. Kasi tangina, sinayang ko yan eh. Gago ako. Wag mo na ko tularan. Alagaan mo sya. Ibigay mo lahat ng pagmamahal na meron ka, cheesy no? Pero totoo yan. Kasi ganun sya sayo. Wala na syang ititira sa sarili nya kasi ganun ka nya ka-mahal. Hindi lang yan boyfriend material, husband material pa. Tinanong ako ng friend ko, sino daw yung greatest love ko, walang isip-isip, sya talaga. Kasi sya yung binabalik-balikan ko. Kasama na sya sa sistema ko. Part na sya ng pagkatao ko. Sinasabi ko sayo ngayon pa lang na walang papantay sakanya. Kahit kayo na, may times na ic-chat ko pa din yan. Hayaan mo na, kahit replyan naman ako nyan ikaw pa din mahal nyan pag nagkataon. Oo, wala ka pa sa buhay nya pero ang totoo inggit na inggit na ko sayo. Inggit na inggit ako kasi mapupunta sya sayo. Wag mo syang hayaang mawala sayo ha. Kasi tanga ka pag ginawa mo yun. Kung may ibibigay pa sakin si Lord na itama lahat, gagawin ko talaga. Pero alam mo, ayaw na din kasi nya. Pagod na yung tao kaya siguro okay na din na ganto. At least sa next na dadating sa buhay ko, bibigyan ko na ng importance. Mahal na mahal ko yan. Hahayaan ko na syang maging masaya. Kahit di na ko part ng kasiyahan nya. Last na tong blog na to na magiging tungkol sakanya.

To my Love, If ever na mabasa mo to, (at alam kong malabo kasi piling tao lang naman may alam ng tumblr ko) thank you sa lahat ng memories. Thank you mapa-good or bad. Simula grade 9, nanjan ka na para sakin. Nasaktan ako sa sinabi mong "wala namang nagtatagal kay Kate eh" which is totoo naman. Alam kong pagod ka na, Love, gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na sana pag dumating na yung totoong babaeng magmamahal sayo, hanapin mo yung handa ibigay sayo lahat. Kasi nung una, di ko kaya eh. Lagi ako may tinitira para sa sarili ko. Pero ikaw? Napaka-selfless mong tao. Puro yung taong nasa paligid mo lang iniisip mo, mismong sarili mo yung hinuhuli mo. Kahit anong mangyari, lagi ko naman to sinasabi sa mga friends ko, at sa lahat, na kahit anong mangyari, ikaw yung taong parte na ng pagkatao ko. Di ka mapapalitan ng kahit sino. I love you, Love  Stay happy. Nakikita ko pag-grow mo as a person. Nakikita ko na sobrang saya mo na talaga. Minsan gusto na lang kita yakapin pero ang weird nun diba? Hahahhahaha. Alagaan mo sarili mo, di tulad ng ginawa ko sayo. Hinayaan kita. Sorry, Love. Di na kita guguluhin. I love & miss you soooo much pero sabi mo nga tama na. Siguro babalik na lang tayo pag sobrang okay na tao as a grown man/woman. Sa future. Thank you sa lahat, my Love.

[syasjournal]

400 facts about me, yang gaberfaedah

karena bosen, jadinya bikin ginian deh. ini dapet dari sini

1. Name: aisya alifia putri 2. Nickname(s): aisya,  3. Birthday: 24 feb 4. That makes you (age): 14 y.o.  5. Where were you born (city): bandung 6. Location right now (planet ): bumi lah pake nanya jir 7. Shoe size: 37~38 8. How many piercings?: 2 (telinga kanan sama kiri)  9. Tattoos?: engga ada 10. When you wake up you're: gorgeous  11. When your about to sleep you're: ngantuk 12. Zodiac sign: pisces 13. Chinese sign: kambing 14. Righty or Lefty: righty 15. Innie or Outie: ini paan maksudnya 16. School: smp 5 bandung Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: indonesia 18. Hair colour: item:) 20. Weight: rubah rubah sih tapi sekarang (11/07/2017) 38kg 21. Height: haha gausah nanya lah pokoknya antara 100 cm - 200 cm 22. Braces? engga 23. Glasses? iya tapi jaran dipake hehe Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? gaada, sedih ya 25. If so, who? pengennya sih yang 11/12 sama mark gt 26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? haha iya, lah 27. Who has a crush on you? mana iang tau 28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? iya aku eprnah berasa selingkuh dari exo:” 29. Who was your first kiss: ortu lah 30. Who was your last kiss: recorder 31. Are you a virgin? haha iya lah anjir 32. Ever had a threesome before? pertanyaan macam apa ini :” 33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: engga 34. Have you ever been in love? maybe 35. Broken any hearts? haha iya lah 36. Got your heart broken?  hmmm-mm 37. Ever liked a friend? IYA 38. What happened? haha it doesnt work:) Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in? gatau 40. How many were serious enough to count: 1 41. Who were those serious ones: exo (keudabelas-keduabelasnya) 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: --- 44. What happened: gadapapa  45. Best boy/girlfriend: gaada 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: gaada 47. Ever been kissed: engga 48. Who do you want back: mantan (kris, luhan, tao)  49. Who do you regret: kurang greget ngodenya 50. Why?: jadi weh gasempet Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: tahu diri - maudy ayunda 52. Movie: crazy little thing called love, jenny juno, 4th period mystery, pandora, miracle in cell no. 7, taegukgi, my way, ini gabisa milih satu sih 53. Food: mi, pasta, kwatiau 54. Drink: lemon tea, teh manis 55. Store: gramedia 56. Television show: kalo indonesia sarah sechan, 86, wib, sama ini talkshow.  kalo korea knowing brother, hello counselor, weekly idol 57. Holiday: waktu ke kareumbi HAHA 58. Book: gatau partikel mungkin? sama perahu kertas 59. Ice cream: gaada sih 60. Sweets: oppa HAHA 61. Crisps:  pringles 62. Type of music: ballad 63. Artist: gatau >< 64. Word: njir 65. Time of day: pas tidur  66. Dressing: gaada 67. Alcoholic drink: haha gaada lah 68. Colour(s): item, item, item, abu,  69. Piece of clothing: ???? 70. Character: ???? 71. Smell: - 72. Shampoo: gaada njir galeas bgtt  73. Soap: “-- 74. Smiley:  - 75. Board game: - 76. Sport: gaada 77. Number: 2 78. Quote: gatau 79. Animal: gasuka binatang sih, tapi kucing lucu  80. Actor: jo in sung. park bo gum 82. Vegetable:wortel 83. Fruit: semangka 84. Place to be: dihati kamyu 85. Thing in your room: laptop 86. Gum: gaterlalu suka sih 87. Shape: ath lah yg gini ditanyain 88. Country: korea, indonesia 89. Mall: mtc HAHA 90. Car : gaada yang aku favorit in sih 91. Boy's name: dilan, jingga (kalo dipanggil “jing”), keenan, nata 92. Girl's name: kugy, niki >< 93. Family member: gatau 94. Restaurant: gatau juga 95. Movie place: blitz ya yang pasti, ada pengalaman kurang menyenangkan sama 21 atau XXI terutama sama mba agnez yang robekin tiket 96. Person to go to the movies with: inginnya mah sama kamu 97. Noise: ??? 98. Brand of shoe : sama aja sih semua jg  99. Brand of clothing: sama kyk atas 100. Body part of a chicken: paha bawah (tetep cuma dimakan tepungnya doang kl kfc sm mcd) 101. Swear word: sumveh 102. Month: feb, jun 103. Possession: gatau 104. Team: tim apa? 105. Season: musim ujan 106. Radio station: paramuda, prambos 107. Magazine: ga ada 108. Favourite grade: ??? 109. Least favourite grade: ???  110. Teacher: gatau 111. Least favourite teacher: gatau 112. Subject: gaada 113. Subject to talk about: gatau Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: gamau ah ntar ngeledekin  115. Who's your dad?: sama kyk atas 116. Any step-parents?: gaada /hamdallah/ 117. Any brothers?: dafa 118. Any Sisters?: kim sae ron (kita kembar) 120. Coolest: meee 121. Loudest: meee 122. Best relative: dafa 123. Worse relative:dafa jg 124. Do you get along with your parents? iya, tapi aku punya banyak rahasia  yang gak mama papa tau 125. With your siblings? deket, tapi dia gatau rahasia aku sih 126. Does anyone understand you? iyalah aku kan pake bahasa indoneisa HAHA 127. Do you have any pets? ada  128. If so, what kind and name? kucin, jenis boneka, namanya adadeeeeh 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: gataulah ah pusyheeengggzz Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? gak nih di rmh hahaha, canda, iyalah 132. Did you drop out? ga

133. Your current GPA:  gpa apaan dah

134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: buy 135. ABC's?: ??? 136. Favorite class: gaada 137. Play any sports at school?: ga 138. Are you popular? ga 139. Favourite memory: banaykZZZzzzZ 140. Most humiliating moment:banyak jir 141. Most funniest moment: banyakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkz 142. Most scared moment: pas mau ulangan/ di tes Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: ew 146. Dog: kadang lucu kadang serem 147. Christina Aguilera: suaranya mirip suara aing 148. Ricky Martin: siapa lg 149. 50 cent: gaada harga nya kalo rupiah 150. Poop: maneh 151. Beach: pantai 152. Desert: pudding 153. Water: aqua 154. Osama: bin laden 155. Love: HAHA 156. Your little brother: ter nyebelin   157. Butt: kebagi dua gt 158. Clowns: berkilau 159. Wonder:? 16o. Brown: es krim 161. Banana: kuning bgt 162. Sex: njir geleh 163. Parents: everything 164. Homosexuals: rada jijik sih, tapi tetep aja mereka manusa, jadi mereka tetep berhak dihargain 165. God: diatas segalanya Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: yes ofc 167. Heaven: iya 168. Devil: iya 169. Hell: iya 170: Boogy man: jir aing search srem jir, tapi ga percaya sih 171. Closet Monsters: gaaa haha 172. Fortune tellings: ga 173. Magic:  ga 174. Love at first sight: gatau 175. Ghosts: iya 176. Voo-doo dolls: ngapain percaya anjir  177. Reincarnation: gaaaaaaaaaaa 178. Yourself: maybe? Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: no 180. Do drugs: no 181. Drink alcohol: no “drink water, not alcohol” -joshua hong  182. Cuss: kadang 183. Sing in the shower: ga  184. Like school: hahha NOOO 185. Want to get married: iyalah :( 186. Type with all of your fingers: no 187. Think you're attractive: enggak juga sih 188. Drink and drive: no 189. Snore: no 190. Sleep walk: no  191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: b aja  Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: no 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: no  194. Told that person how you felt: maksudnya? kayak nembak gt? atau gmn? 195. Been arrested:.ga 196. Gone to jail or juve: noo 197. Skateboarded:.no 198. Skinny dipped: hah? 199. Rock climbed: yas 200. Killed someone: ga 201. Watched porn: ga haha, mimi peri sama mordelente termasuk ga sih? 202. Gone on a road trip: ga 203. Went out of the country: yep  204. Talked back to an adult: iya :( 205. Broken a law:.gatau 206. Got pulled over: ???? 208: Cried to get out of trouble: ya 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: ya 210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: HAHHA GAK LAH 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: GA 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: bwum pernah 213. Moon someone: hah bulan seseorang?  214. Shop-lifted: ? 215. Worked at McDonald's: ga 216. Eaten a dog: gaaaa haraaam 217. Give money to a homeless person: pernah  218. Glued your hand to yourself:  ya 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: ?????????????? WTF  220. Had a one night stand: GA ANJR 221. Smoked: GA 222. Done drugs: GA 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: ga 224. Slap someone for being stupid: ga 225. Had cyber sex: hah? engga lah, gimana maksudnya, di donlot apa gmn sih? 226. Wish you were the opposite sex:  ga hrs brsyukur #ea 227. Caught someone doing something: iya, cule 228. Played a game that removes clothing: hah? GK LH 229. Cried during a movie: iyaaa): 230. Cried over someone: haha begonya iya 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: ga 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: oppa :( 233. Ran away from home: ga 234. Cheated on a test: haha gausah ditanya Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: ga makasih 236. Sky dive: gaa 237. Swim with dolphins: ga  238. Steal a friend's bf or gf:gaaa  239. Try to be the opposite sex: bole sih  240. Lie to the police: haha 241. Run from the police: haha 242. Lie to your parents:sering 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: gaa 244. Be an exotic dancer:GA JIR 245. NQ- Kill the president: ga Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: iya 247. Loud: gajuga sih menurut aku ma 248. Nice: ga 249: Outgoing: ga 250: Quiet: gajuga 251. Mean: iya deh keknya 252. Emotional: gajuga 253. Sensitive: gajuga 254. Gay: hahhaha gak lah jjir 255. Strong:.YEAAA 256. Weak: nooooo 257. Caring: gajuga hehe 258. Dangerous: iya, senggol bacok ya 259. Crazy: aku annggap aku adalah orang terwaras 260. Spontaneous: iyA 261. Funny: ga 262. Sweet: ga 263. Sharing:.mungkin? 264. Responsible: gatau 265. Trustworthy: ya mayan lah 266. Open-minded: ya mayan 267. Creative: gajuga sih 268. Cute:.haha ga lah 269. Slick:  mksd? 270. Smart: ga 271. Dumb: gajuga 272. Evil: gaa:) 273. Ghetto: ???? 274. Classy:  ga 275. Photogenic: ga banget 276. Dependable: gaterlalu 277. Greedy: menurutku sih engga 278. Ugly: gajuga haha 279. Messy: iya 280. Neat: kadang 281. Perverted: ggaaa 282. Silly: mayan 283. A B****:  nooooooooo 284. A Good Listener: mayan gatau juga sih 285. A Fighter: YEAAA I AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!! 286. A Party Animal: ?? 287. A Game Freak: GA 288. A Computer Freak: mayan  Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: balum tau 290. Dream house: layak, dan ada kamunya /jijik/ 291. Husband/Wife: kmuuuuu 292. Kids: ingin punya anak 4 293. Names: nama siapa 294. Pets: ga 295. Car: apa aja sih asal maju, muat, naegen, lucu, bagus 296. Age you would want to get married: 23~25 gamau tua tua amat 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: ??? 298. Honeymoon: kmana aja boleh kok Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friend: ada beberapa 300. Known the longest: olla 301. Craziest: semua:( 302. Loudest: semua 303. Shyest: pada gatau malu sih hehe 304. Best hair: gatau 305. Best eyes: gatagatauu 306. Best body: gatau 307. Most Athletic: gatau 308. Hot-Tempered: gatau 309. Most impatient: gatau 310. Shortest:  gatau 311. Tallest: gatau 312. Skinniest: gatau 313. Best singer: gatau 314. Funniest: gatau 315. Can always make you laugh: gatau 316. Wish you talked to more: gatau 317. Wish you saw more:  gatau 318. Who drives you insane after a while: gatau 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: gatau 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level':  gatau 321. Whose always been there when you need them: gatau 322. Who is like your family: semua:) 323. How many friends do you have?: gatau   324. How many are really close? gatau Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: rumput laut 326. Thing you drank: tek manis 327. Thing you wore: baju 328. Thing you did:  nonton drakor 329. Place you went: paskal 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed:telinga 331. Person you saw: mama 332. Person you hugged: mama 333. Person you kissed:gaada 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: ? 335. Person you talked to online: gatau 336. Person you talked to on the phone: papa 337. Song you heard: highlight - calling you 338. Show you saw: knowing brother 339. Time you fought with your parents: gatau  340. Time you fought with a friend: gatau 341. Words you said: lupa Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: engga lagi makan  344. What are you drinking: ga lagi minum 345. What are you thinking: kamu 346. What are you wearing: pakaian lengkap 347. What are you doing: ngetik 349. Hair:masih banyak, warnnaya masih item,  350. Mood: b aja 351. Listening to gaada: 352. Talking to anyone: engga 353. Watching anything: ngga Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: no 355. Are you a carnivore: no 356. Are you heterosexual: apa itu teh 357. Do you like penguins: yes 358. Do you write poetry: no, cma suka copy/reblog 359. Do you see stupid people: maksud? 360. You + Me: YAS 361. Do you like the Osbournes: gatau 362. Can you see flying pigs: bisa aja sih kan ada mata 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: iyaaaaaaaaa 364. Are you from Afghanistan: ga, ini random bgt sumpah 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: gatau benget nya yang mn jg 366. Are you a zombie: iya, YA ENGGA LAH 367. Am i annoying you: iya bnyk bgt jir pertanyaannya 368. Do you bite your nails: kadang 369. Can you cross your eyes: hah? 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: kadang 371. Have you touched someone's private part: kayaknya engga Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: winter 373. Spring or Autumn: spring 374. Shakira or Britney: davichi 375. MTV or VH1: mtv 376. Black or White: black 377. Yellow or Pink: pink 378. Football or Basketball:sama aja  379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mobile phone 380. Pen or Pencil: pen 381. Cold or Hot: cold 382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercings 383. Inside or Outside: inside 384. Weed or Alcohol: ga dua duanya 385. Coke or Pepsi: coke 386. Tape or Glue: tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: mcd  Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: bagus 389. About boy bands: my fav 390. About suicide: kebegoan yang hqq 391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: LO NGEZLIN 392. About teen pregnancy: astagfirullah 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: gatau ath 394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: gatau:( 395. About gay men: hi Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: ada 397. Current weather right now: gatau 398. Current time:  0.43 399. Any shout outs: ? 400. Last thoughts : gaada

AKHIRNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[alfabetketujuh]

A Monster Calls

Gue kelewatan nonton film ini di bioskop dan kemarinan baru donlot karna nunggu versi bagusnya dulu. Ceritanya tentang Conor yang ga bisa terima tentang keadaan ibunya yang sakit. Tiap treatment ga bikin ibunya lebih baik, tapi Conor yakin bahwa ibunya makin parah dulu baru membaik. Sampe akhirnya ada monster from a yew tree. He always comes at 12:07. He tells 3 tales and say the 4th tale will come from Conor. The truth of Conor O'Malley. Nonton ini bikin gue pause tiap 15 menit. Tarik nafas. Kipas kipas. Baru lanjutin lagi. Dan salahnya gue adalah pas nonton di rumah kepotong, akhirnya lanjutin setengah jam di kantor sambil makan siang. Conor O'Malley, i feel you. Selama bokap gue sakit, gue ga ambil banyak peran dalam ambil keputusan harus berobat apa. Mostly nyokap gue juga ngikut aja bokap gue maunya berobat apa atau gimana. We do believe in whatever he chose. Dari dirawat di rumah sakit, rebus teh benalu, pijit refleksi, terapi listrik, obat obat rebus apapun you name it yang sekali beli bisa 2,5 juta dan cuma diminum maksimal 4 kali sama bokap gue. Karna bokap kerja di Palu, seringnya gue bertugas ngirim obat dari Tangerang. Hampir tiap dua minggu sekali. Obat yang gue kirim cuma obat penghilang rasa sakit. Bokap gue sudah ketergantungan. Sehari bisa tiga kali pakai. Padahal waktu pertama kali pakai, sehari cuma satu. Obatnya pun bukan tablet, tapi suppositori, yang harus dimasukkan dari lubang pup. Jadi yang selalu bantu adalah nyokap gue. It was wednesday afternoon when she sent me a message. She asked me to go to Palu on Friday with my lil brother. I asked what happened and she said nothing. To be honest, i didn't think any of bad things but I just thought that we could go there sooner. Why friday if we can make it on thursday? So i called her. My mom didn't answer. It was mbak oh-i'm-sorry-i-forgot-your-name. She said "Ibu lagi nyuapin Bapak jadi ngga bisa angkat telfon" oh you seriously think that i'm gonna buy it? That was when i knew something has gone wrong. On thursday night, me and my lil brother landed. My dad's coworker picked us up. He told stories from where it all went wrong. I was wondering "why the hell do you tell us this?" I mean, seriously, you come to see your sick dad and someone except your mom tells you what happened with your dad before you see him is the least expected thing. My lil brother and i entered the room and see him in a condition where you wish you never see it. He can barely breath. Gue cuma bisa bantu minum dengan netesin dari sedotan. Dia juga berkali kali mau nyopot alat bantu pernapasannya, tapi gue kekeuh balikin lagi. I didn't knew what was he thinking. Gue cuma ngusap ngusap aja sampe akhirnya capek terus gue tidur di kursi tempat penunggu. Rumah sakit di Palu, mau vip, bagusan rumah sakit sini kelas dua. Sampe pagi, napasnya sudah satu satu. But never ever crossed my mind that his time has come. Sampe akhirnya bokap menggigil, gue manggil nyokap yang lagi di depan kamar, dan dia bilang "Gapapa ya, itu memang prosesnya, makin turun kondisinya." Gue ga protes. Gue diem aja. The heck memang prosesnya? Tapi akhirnya nyokap masuk kamar lagi dan nungguin. Gue tetep ga kepikiran apa apa. Gue masih beranggapan ya ini memang karna sakit jadi begini. Ntar juga sembuh lagi kayak yang udah udah. Ntar juga gue kirim obat lagi. Nyokap nyetelin channel tv yang live dari mekah. Ada yang ngaji. Kayaknya habis pada solat subuh di sana. Gue masih tiduran aja di kursi panjang. Karna masih pagi, gue ketiduran. Sebentar banget karna gue kaget tiba tiba ada kakek kakek. Pake sorban pake tongkat. Udah tua. Ngagetin gue gitu. Dia kayak setengah bentak gue. Akhirnya gue kebangun deg degan. Pas kebangun nyokap gue manggil nyuruh ngedeket ke bokap. Gue mendekat. Bokap masih napas satu satu. Sudah susah sekali. Ade gue di kamar mandi. Entah kenapa, gue ngomong sama diri gue sendiri, ya sudah kalau memang sudah waktunya, Geoda ikhlas. I guess just a minute after that, my mom asked me if i could find his heartbeat because she couldn't. She said i was screaming. I didn't recall. My lil brother come out of the bathroom just to find me and my mom were crying, he entered the bathroom again. Until now, i never told anyone. Not even my mom. It was 8 months ago and i just had the urge to write this down. Conor gave me the strength. He couldn't accept his mom's illness, or the fact that it was his mom's time. The 4th tale was Conor's final story. However he will face his mom's death. He needed to be saved. Not his mom. Well, Conor, i dont know what else to say.

[1softjks]

so like, let me talk for a while, even tho i know not much people will notce, but.. there's something that idols would probably appreciate more than anything from their fans, and it's called respect and privacy. i mean, i do get it's cute to see your idols on the street, walking around the city or at another idol group concert, but they came there as themselves, to have fun, to rest, to wind down and gain strength to be secluded from the world again more than they should be. and like, they do a freaking lot to please our asses off and shit, being out there in public and constantly updating their sns profiles, getting rid of their last privacy aspects in life and y'all still think its cute to get a photo of an idol when he's trying to get a lil bit for himself/herself from his/her paked schedule. they do a lot for us, fans, more than they even should be doing, and I understand it's how entertainment industry works, they get stripped off their personal life in order to succeed and get supporters, but they still are human beings, they still need their time for themselves and they still need that respect and understanding from fans. pushing cameras into their faces, snaping photos and recording videos when it's not very suitable for it, pushing their around in airport and stuff - it's not what respect and love looks like. so, since they do a lot more than they should for their fans, we should give them as much as they're giving us, so let's start with appreciation towards their free time, let's start with love, and last but not least, let's start with respect not only for your fav idol group and their life, but also let's respect groups we're not really fond off, too, since they're working extremely hard and super intense, too. just, let's be kind for each other.

[ssnsnsb]

an open letter to my abuser

even though you wanted what was "best" for me, it appeared as though you were trying to control me because you were controlling everyone's perception of "us" which is something non-existent in the first place. i kept on calling you out regarding that matter, i kept on setting my boundaries with you, and i'm always the one adjusting. i knew all along that you were trying to guilt trip me but i always let it pass because i'm really trying hard to become a nice person but you've overdone it. you blamed me for your drama and all. at isa pa yan si mark eh. kung anu-ano pinagsasabi. pareho lang kayo lmao. sinasabi ko na lang na kasalanan ko at nagguilty ako (kahit hindi talaga) para mapagaan yung situation for you kasi honestly may pake naman ako sayo nun. pero di mo nagets. kahit sa twitter dinala mo yung pang vverbal abuse mo at pangguilt trip mo sakin and sinasadya mo talaga. tbh nandidiri ako sa fact na you'd go down THAT low. di mo rin nagets na pinilit ko lang yung sarili ko to have "sex" with you because you were guilt-tripping me so much to the point na di ko na alam kung ano ba dapat ibigay ko para lang matapos na. tbh i dont even consider that "sex". di yun kasama sa count ko because feeling ko i raped myself for you. it wasnt pleasurable for me and sobrang ramdam ko na you only see me (and women in general) as an object and to top it off, pinagmayabang mo pa talaga. ano ako, trophy? object? di ako tao para sayo, noh? talk about "nice" guy. pinagmayabang mo yung super super pinaka bad "sexual" experience sa buhay ko hahaha. pinaparinggan mo pa ko sa twitter nun na "nice guys finish last" lmao nakakarindi tbh. at hirap akong sabihin sayo lahat ng to kasi baka masaktan ka. i literally think na feeling mo sayo umiikot sayo yung mundo kasi ngangawa ngawa ka porket di mo makuha gusto mo. seems like sanay na sanay ka na you always have it your way eh. honestly yung ineexpect kong reply mo dito (kung magrereply ka man) is sakin mo na naman sisisihin lahat pero wala na ko pake. at least i got my message across kung di mo pa rin gets then i got no problem anymore. for me lahat ng nangyari wasnt a "long time" ago because ito yung long term effect ng damage e. alam ko naman na may share din ako ng kasalanan pero damn, i didnt really think you'd go down that low, man. all along gusto ko lang naman maging better pero why does it seem like gustong gusto mo akong pabagsakin? nung time na sobrang hung up ko pa kay m parang ako pa yung masamang tao? tapos apparently nagpaalam ka pala sakanya kung pwedeng "ikaw naman" lmaoooo sobrang puta lang. wala kayong respeto enough para kausapin ako ng maayos. tapos kung anu ano pa sinasabi mo behind my back. tapos sakin mo sisisihin kasi you have no sense of accountability. sobrang baliw mo wala ka na sa tamang wisyo.

anyway good luck na lang sa mga girls na makakasalamuha mo pero sana magbago ka na :) and if ibabalik mo lang sakin tong phrase na to i want you to know that i am no longer the person you thought you knew. i was vulnerable and stupid that time. stupid enough to trust someone like you. i have a better circle of friends now so yep. sana sayo na lang din:)

[hushyanaa]

Feb 29, 2020

Sabi ni mama samin ni Kato, lumayas na kami. Kasi di nya kami napapakinabangan. Na dapat by this age, napapakinabangan na kami. True. Pero I'm trying. We're trying. Gustong gusto ko na rin gawin yun. Pero ano? Nganga, di pa ko graduate eh hahaha bobo e anong magagawa natin? Always silang nauuna sa lahat ng pangarap ko. Hanggang pangarap na lang ata talaga sya.

Anyway. Lumayas nga ako ahahaha. Pero nasa dorm lang naman ako. Ngayon iniisip ko pano ko to papanindigan. Kasi saan naman ako kukuha ng pera para mabuhay dito? Okay lang din naman, kasi ayoko na mabuhay. Para saan pa? Pabigat lang naman ako. Kanina nung nasa byahe, gusto kong mapahamak. Tipong mamamatay na ko. Wala na akong pake. Kaso pag sineswerte ka nga naman. Ligtas pa ko nakadating hahaha.

Gets ko naman. Pagod na rin sila talaga. Ilang taon na nila kami binubuhay tapos hanggang ngayon nakadepende pa rin kami sa kanila. Bakit pa ksi ako nabuhay in the first place. No one wanted me to be here. Kuya Marvin, siguro dapat ikaw na lang nabuhay at ako yung namatay. Kasi baka mas maging proud sila mama sayo. Baka mas maayos buhay ng pamilya natin ngayon. Kuya, isunod mo na ako. Sunduin mo na ako. Ang sakit na eh. Ang hirap na.

Naisip ko ngayon lang, may burol pa pota. Gastos na naman. Hanggang sa huli gastos pa rin???? Tangina wala na talaga akong nadulot na maganda. Pag namatay ako at nababasa nyo na to, Kuya, Bobok, ate Gladys, wag na kayo uwi ha. Please? Please. Last wish ko to. Kahit eto lang sundin nyo. Alam ko naman maggrieve kayo somehow. Okay lang sakin, I swear. Mas magagalit ako pag umuwi kayo. Ipon money!!! Sayang pera.

Kuya, yung kasal intindihin mo. Sorry di ko ata mawitness. I always miss you and your kasungitan!!! Lalo na dati nung tinuturuan mo ko sa math hmf, lagi ako paiyak na e. Hahaha. Miss ko na din yung kulit mo pag lasing ka ahahaha parang timang e. I always worry kasi you live alone dyan. Kahit I know na sanay ka na pero, I know how sad it feels na wala kang uuwian dyan. Dapat ako yung susunod dyan eh, hehe. I love you Kuya! Take care lagi ha? Ate Anna, ikaw na bahala kay Kuya ha hehe. Ikaw lang nagpapaamo dyan hahaha I love you! Ingat ka din lagi sa flights mo!

Bobok, sila Gon at Matthan ha. Alamin mo kung ano talaga gusto nila and support them. Always. Ingat din kayo dyan lagi. Alam ko din namimiss mo lagi sila mama. Ahhaha. Remembered the time na nagkadengue ako, tapos sa bahay lang ako nakaswero instead sa ospital kasi andun ka naman para imonitor ako. One time bago ka pumasok, kukunan mo ko ng dugo tapos naaawa ka na sakin kasi puro pasa na yung kamay ko, ayaw ko na magpakuha ng dugo nun pero dahil ikaw naman kukuha, go lang hehe. Rapsi ng may kapatid na nurse!!! I love you!!!!

Mama, Papa, wala kayong kasalanan. Akin to lahat. Ako may mali lahat. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way. Sounds immature pero ang bigat kasi. Pero!! Di kayo nagkulang. You gave me more than all the support and love I needed. Sobra sobra nabigay nyo. You both are the reason bat ko to nilalaban. I wanted to make you proud! 6 children, with different professions. You've worked really hard!! It's now time to lay low. Don't stress yourselves too much. Ha? Take care of your health. You have to see all your apo! I love you!!

Tita, thank you sa pag aalaga mo samin. Ang lalaki na namin pero inaalagaan mo pa rin kami kahit dapat ikaw na ung inaalagaan namin. Tita, isa ka rin sa reason bat ko gusto magpagawa ng bagong bahay. Para may sarili ka na kwarto! Magandang kitchen and cr hehe. Tsaka gusto ko rin maghire ng isa pang kasama dyan kasi nakakapagod kaya kami alagaan!! I always love all the food you cooked for us! Take care of your health tita!!! I love you tita!

Ate, you've sacrificed so much for the whole family. Lahat kami pinaaral mo. Kaya sorry ate, kasi sana may family ka na ngayon na sarili kung hindi dahil samin. Thank you for choosing to stay with mama at papa. Mahirap kasi nasanay ka may pera ka lagi na madaaami hehe pero at least Printing will continue dahil baka sayo yan ipamana hehehe. Thank you ate for still calling me "baby" :((( pag naririnig ko yan from you, i get to feel na ako pa rin baby satin magkakapatid plus!! You alwayssss spoil me pa rin. Tsaka ikaw rin!! Take care of your health na ha! I love you ate!

Porpie, sorry!! Dapat kasal ka na din ngayon kaso sabi mo hintayin muna ako makagraduate hehe antagal pa bago mangyari yun naunahan ka tuloy ni kuya. Thank you for always making our family happy!! I've always admired your humor!! And tbh, idk pero always felt intimidated sayo :( i still love you so much doe! Tsaka alam mo ba you're my role model hehehe. May something kasi sayo na super likeable, even your students love you! Ganon ka kaamazing hahaha. Dont ever chaaange!!

Tato, lumayas ka na kasi dati e kaya ako na lang. hahaha thank you pinakilala mo na si Steph!! Been waiting for that for a long time already hayz. Ayun nga, sabi satin ni mama, di ba tayo naiinggit kasi yung ibang kaedad natin nagwowork na. Ako di talaga kasi di p naman ako graduate hahaha pero i know you have plans. And maybe you just don't want to tell it to us kasi ewan ganon ka talaga eh hahaah magugulat na lang kami one day hired ka na. Hintayin ko yung araw na yun. Kahit wala na ko. And yung exam!! If you want to take it again, go! You can try and try and try again. It's okay. We trust and believe you. When everyone else is telling you bad things, remember na never ako madidisappoint. I know how that feels e! So anyway yun nga, habang wala ka pa work, bawasan mo na pabalang sagot kay mama at papa. Hmf. Apakainit lagi ulo. Yoko na haba na nito chix ka ba? Sayo pinakamahaba. I love youuu! Ingat ka lagi magdrive!

Machie, my 2nd mom! Kahit andami mong ginawa, di pa rin nagbago tingin ko sayo! Pero please tama na haaaa. Thank you for taking care of me, always. Hanggang ngayon. When I need something, willing ka lagi to do it for me. I always loved your ampalaya and adobo! I love you Machie! Thank you for everything! Di ka rin nawala sa pangarap ko machie.

Kuya Pat, galingan mo sa college ha? Wag na magbulakbol! Galingan mo lagi pati sa ML! Bawas na din pagiging tabag tamo ako pinalayas. Si papa epi at ate mards nagttrabaho maigi para makapagtapos kayo pareho kaya mag-ayos na ha! Wag mo muna sila bigyan ng apo. Hahaha thank you kuya Pat for trusting me, sa lahat ng kwento mo. Always know na may nakikinig sayo and may magguide sayo. Tsaka alagaan mo rin si ate Ashley! Harsh mo lagi e. I love you kuya Pat!

[nicegirlintown]

I don’t what happened to me this day. so weird. so random.

dimulai dari pagi hari, gue tiba-tiba dihampiri semacam ‘misionaris’ (kalo kata kodok sih), dan ujung-ujungnya kita banyak ngobrol tentang love dari sudut pandang agama. Doi dari bible, gue dari quran. 

konklusinya, gue bisa mempertahankan iman gue dengan baik haha! dan agak bangga sih karena mereka memuji bahwa english gue sounded so polish. 

Alhamdulillah.

tapi tetep aja random, dan gue ga mau lagi di-approach gituan. Emang, gue keliatan butuh direction to live a better life ya? hahaha

terus, sore gitu abis bangun tidur gue di WA oleh cowok stranger dari tantan (I know, that is so alay. Gue yang iseng juga nyesel kok) dan impulsively dia ngajak jalan lah, nongkrong lah. apalah.

seperti hal nya agenda weekend, gue milih stay di kosan sambil gabut karena sungguh itu sebuah privelege. Tapii, mungkin dia merasa di-ignore dengan jawaban gue yang irit dan selalu menolak, doi sebel kali ya.

terus dia bilang pamit, maaf ganggu. Yaudah, gue dadahin kan. 

EH, gue dikatain. dibilang gembrot, sombong, mending cantik. pake app cuma buat tebar pesona sama pamer pernah ke luar negeri.

terus gue dikasih tai, disuruh modar.

yang gue inget doi umurnya juga udah ga bocah, udah kerja, lulusan uni yang lumayan bernama lah di kota ini. dan dia tampak biasa aja.

tapi bisa ya seorang cowok se-impulsif dan sebaper itu? mana ngomongnya dirty banget kalau pake perumpamaan. trash.

gue jadi takut doi ADHD gitu, men. jadi, gue block aja doi. 

orang kayak gitu, ternyata makin di-ignored makin agresif ya.

and he started to call me. hih, serem abis. 

gue pas chat sama dia di awal-awal juga dah punya instinct that there is something wrong with him. Tapi gue mencoba tetep nice, kali aja feeling gue salah.

eh, malah gue di body shaming cuma karena gue ga bereaksi seperti yang dia inginkan.

Amit-amit ya Allah, jauhkan lah Dina dari orang-orang zhalim dan ingin menjahati. 

Sabtu ini absurd deh pokoknya! Jangan deh terulang lagi, amin!

Apa karena jumat was too good to be true? makanya sabtunya jadi zonk hahaha!

yaudah lah, fokus sama orang yang memang real, din! yang baik, yang not taking you for the granted. 

remember that now you have a really nice boss, he is really nice! like, super nice! and smart, and a family man, and healthy, and not smoking, and appreciate you well, and listen to you, and not underestimate you! what else you’re asking for?

and now you have a crush that might be out of your league (again!), but at least, he is very kind. he is so close that you can see him every day. you can talk to him and call his name. you can smile at him and he smiles back at you. you can ask him to go to starbucks together. 

remember? you:

getting a free coffee from him in the morning

you and him, waiting for coffee in starbucks (just both of you!)

he (the only one who) laughed when your clothes got tangled

he approached you first when we all gather for dinner meeting

you touched his hand with so much intention and he didn’t bother

you realised how thick his eyeborw and how pink his lips, and you got shy without the reason

just remember the happy things, dina! don’t focus on something unimportant like those scammers or trashy guy.