#at least i'll keep the blog active thanks to you guys

[russellsppttemplates]

Are you staying? (Logan Sargeant)

Before the Miami GP, you fly over to spend some days with your boyfriend's family, and it turns out that you can charm more than one Sargeant

Note: english is not my first language. This is the first thing I've ever written for Logan and I'm excited and nervous to see how it goes! Nothing against other careers, but I'm a sucker for the stereotypical smart job and paired up with the friends to lovers trope, I made this! I hope it's good for my first piece for him! Also, I'm aware that Leo hasn't been in the paddock for what I can assume obvious safety reasons, but I thought of this and didn't want to leave it behind 🫣

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: mentions a previous injury

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"Is this your list, babe?", Logan said as he opened the document on his iPad after you sent it to him, reading a checklist of all the things you needed to pack last minute after he said he wanted to help you.

"Yes - actually, can you help me with it, please?", you asked as you packed your usual medication, "I already have my meds in the little bag and my chargers too - you can check those off".

"Okay, done", he offered as he crossed them with the pen, "next, we have documents - passport, I'm the one with the tickets and they're in my phone as well, and Travel insurance? Since when do you do Travel insurance?", Logan wondered as you packed the documents into your bag.

"Since I'm going to motherland of paid healthcare - I don't usually get sick, but you never know! Just to my luck I could feel some pain and before I know it, I'll be knee deep into debt that no amount of working could help with! I'm just about keeping university fees covered, I can't have anymore on me", you offered as you looked at the camera. Even though the timezone was different, Logan still FaceTimed you, tucked in his bed while he saw the sunshine through the window behind you

"If it comes to that, which I hope it won't because I like you all in one piece, I would cover i-", Logan added as you shook your head.

"Let's all hope that I go and come back with pristine health and that this was just me being my forewarned self", you smiled and crossed your fingers, "what's next?", you wondered as you walked around your bedroom, looking for anything that could stand out.

You met Logan, out of all places, in the pool you had been swimming in your whole life. You never wanted to compete - for you, swimming was a way to forget about the day for a couple of hours and to ensure you were active. A couple of years ago, this boy walked inside, leaving his flip-flops on the side next to yours and he seemed to be doing some conditioning work.

Later, you found out he had picked up a muscle injury and he was there with his physiotherapist at the same time you went everyday, and by the time his treatment was over, you became good friends and it bloomed from there.

A party before his first season in Formula One was the last straw when he wasn't the only guy there who noticed how beautiful you looked. It seemed that all of the single drivers had their eyes on you, both from the novelty of your presence in the function and from the confidence you exuded. His protective side came forward, and as he was driving you back home, he didn't let you leave his place until he confessed his feelings. As it turned out, you felt the same.

"And last, but not least, lip balm", your boyfriend said in a overly exaggerated accent.

"And for that, you don't get to use this anymore!", you put the small tube on the small bag, zipping it and finding a place for it before you stuck your tongue out at him.

"That's alright - I'll just kiss you after you put it on", he smirked.

"Like that is any different from what you do now", you grumbled, closing your backpack and patting it, "I'm all ready!", you smiled.

Even though the original plan was for Logan to fly to England and then fly with you to his home country, your university practical assignments had been changed to that week and there was no way you could swap, let alone miss them. You didn't want your boyfriend to spend less time with his family because of you, so you ended up deciding that you would fly over on your own and meet him there as soon as you could.

"I miss you, I can't wait to kiss your beautiful face", he smiled.

"I miss you too, but soon enough handsome!", you said as you looked at your watch, "the train leaves later today, but I heard there was a lot of traffic so I think I'm going now", you muttered, not wanting to end the call yet but having to do it for practical reasons. Besides, Logan needed to sleep and you were sure if you didn't end the call, he would pull an all nighter.

"Don't be late, gorgeous girl - I'll dream about meeting you when you get here", Logan charmed.

"See you later, Logie! Have a good sleep!", you beamed, "don't forget to put your phone on silent because I'll text you the flight updates! I love you!".

"I will! I love you too - have a safe flight!", he smiled before his face disappeared on your screen.

Making sure everything that needed to be off was turned off and on its right place, you closed and locked the door behind you before starting your journey.

Once you had done the security checks at the airport and found your gate, the nerves on your tummy settled in. It wasn't the first time you had to fly on your own and you knew well enough where they stemmed from. You had briefly met Logan's parents a couple of times before since they travelled for some of the races, but spending time with them in their family home carried a different weight to it.

Luckily, there weren't many setbacks and the flight actually landed a couple of minutes before schedule, making you text Logan that you had already landed so he could sort the situation out.

Spotting him wasn't too hard once you saw your name on a lavender coloured cardboard and your boyfriend holding it.

"I missed you loads", he whispered on your ear, kissing under it and hugging you tight.

"I missed you too", you answered back, letting him squeeze you one last time before grabbing the cardboard, "You did this for me?", you beamed.

"Yes, one of my cousins was over yesterday and she gave me the idea to put the glitter on there", he nodded to the glittery letters.

"Yes, I definitely noticed that wasn't you", you giggled, pushing your suitcase along and to the parking lot.

"Mom wanted to come and get you, but she put in her head that the house had to be spotless, so she stayed back, and I think my dad went out to get an order my mum made for a bread she remembered you liked and she wanted you to have it", he stated, unlocking the car and popping the trunk open.

"They're going what? I don't need any special treatment, Logan, - I don't want them to think I want princess treatment!", you argued, holding onto your things, "my Goodness, your parents think I'm a snob", you groaned.

"No, they don't! They just wanted to make sure you feel comfortable and at home!", Logan offered, trying to get your backpack.

"I could sleep on the floor and be happy about it!", you grumbled before you let him get the bag.

"If you really want that, that's fine, but my bed is quite good to be fair", he smirked before you swatted his chest, helping him with the suitcase next.

"Stop making jokes, I don't want your family to think-", Logan interrupted by placing his lips on yours.

"Stop talking nonsense, my parents are excited to have you here", he spoke.

It wasn't a lie. All of his family was excited and curious to finally meet the girl that captured Logan's heart. He knew they could be a handful, and he had certainly warned you considered you came from a small family giving that your parents were only children - it wasn't so much that he thought you wouldn't feel okay, but it would definitely be a little more crowded that you were used to.

On the other side, his family's opinion mattered to him and he was nervous of what they could say. Not because of you and the person you were - he was sure you were going to be just fine, but it wouldn't be the first time that his family's opinion swayed someone the other way. His parents had met your briefly before and now you were being introduced to everyone else. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and everyone else that wanted to tag along and nitpick at you. Everyone's eyes would be on you, and so would their opinions.

"I'm choosing to believe you", you smiled, getting inside the car and watching Logan do the same.

"Did you have a good flight?", he asked as he reversed out of the space, "a lady behind me was saying that her daughter had a turbulent flight".

"It was fine, but I don't really know - I slept on the last couple of hours. Didn't think I had it in me", you tsked, "but the seat was quite comfy and there wasn't anyone in the middle seat, so me and the guy that was on the row sort of took over it and had a silent agreement to share it".

The drive to his parents' house was quick, Logan pointing to all of the spots that carried memories and special moments.

"That's my mom and my dad is also arriving behind us", he looked at his rear view mirror to check if his father had space to park.

"Hello! Welcome welcome, Y/N!", Daniel smiled and greeted you with a hug as soon as you stepped out of the car.

"Hi! Thank you for taking me in for these couple of days", you giggled.

"Nonsense! We're glad you could join us after all - did you do well in your examinations?".

"Dad!", Logan warned slightly, not wanting you to feel ambushed about it.

"They went well, yes! There's only one mark left and it should come out one of these days", you smiled, walking up to greet Logan's mother at the door.

"Hey sweetie! How have you been?", Madelyn asked, pulling you in for a tight hug.

"Hello! I've been good, and you? I hope it wasn't too much trouble having me here", you told her.

"Oh, no, don't worry! You're Logan's girlfriend, you could never be too much trouble", she offered, letting you in, "How was your flight?".

"It was good", you added, "there wasn't too much trouble with customs either, but it was quite tiring for me, I've never done such a long flight", you chuckled.

"When we got back to Silverstone, I had to take three days to recover from it! And I felt so dirty that I had to shower once we got home", she giggled.

"I might actually do that, if you don't mind - my whole body just feels icky", you admitted, knowing you had just arrived and while it maybe wasn't the way to go, it was something you wanted to do.

"Of course, of course! Logan will help you - I left the towels on your bed", she patted her son's back before he headed up the stairs as you trailed behind after excusing yourself.

You headed straight for the shower after getting your toiletry bag from the suitcase, kissing Logan's lips quickly before. When you exited the ensuite bathroom, Logan was doing his hair in the mirror.

"Don't you look handsome?", you whispered, kissing his cheek, "I must say, I'm a big fan of this longer hair", you mused.

"Thank you, love", he smiled, "are you feeling good enough to go out or do you want to stay at home?", he asked.

"I'm good - that shower really helped", you offered, "let me just get ready and then we can go - are your parents joining us?", you wondered.

"I'll have to ask, but I'm assuming they are - they made reservations for us for lunch too", he let you know.

"Okay, I'll just change quickly and sort my hair out", you kissed his cheek before looking for an outfit on your suitcase.

As soon as you were ready, you headed back downstairs so you could leave the house, Logan's mother insisting that you rode in the passenger seat next to your boyfriend, "it's not everyday we get to be driven around town", she snickered.

They pointed out at different houses of family members you would soon meet along with some friends and spots like their workplaces and favourite shops.

After lunch, Logan drove to his uncle's house, telling you about the little girl who inspired the welcoming cardboard he picked you up from the airport with, "she loves animals too, so be prepared to be ambushed with questions and a show of her stuffed toys", your boyfriend chuckled.

"It's true, Y/N! She has built her own collection and it's quite impressive!", Madelyn added.

The house was similar to Logan's parents', your boyfriend parking the car safely before you got out.

"Welcome Y/N!", an older woman said, "we've been waiting to meet you!", she smiled.

"That's my aunt, my uncle and that's my great aunt - she's my grandmother's sister", Logan said before you greeted them warmly, hearing quick footsteps on the corridor, "and that should be Millie".

A little girl no older than three years old ran up to Logan, hugging his legs and hiding behind them, "why don't you say hello to Y/N, honey?", her mother encouraged her.

Slowly, she peeled herself from the driver's legs, taking a look at you.

You crouched down so you would be in the same level, "hi Millie", you tried.

"How do you know my name?", she asked.

"Logan told me all about you - I loved the glitter you used for my name of the sign he took to get me from the plane", you smiled.

"I have more, do you want to see them, Y/N?", she beamed, stretching out her arm for you to take her hand.

"Go go, Y/N! I'll get some snacks out for us and then you can come down if you want something - we want to have a chat to get to know the girl our nephew's speaks so fondly of!", Logan's uncle winked before Millie pulled you.

Her room was decorated in a jungle theme, animal decals decorating the walls, "do you want to draw with me? Momma got me these with glue so it doesn't get messy", she explained before pulling a chair for herself, "Oh, I don't have one for you, I'm sorry".

"That's alright, love - I'll just sit on the floor", you smiled, kneeling down and getting comfortable.

Millie was an only child and from what Logan told you, there weren't many girls in the family, so she was taking full advantage of having some girly time with you.

"Millie! Poor Y/N has been here for nearly two hours!", Madelyn called for you from the door.

"It hasn't been that long, has it?", you wondered, feeling guilty to have spent that long away from them, "I didn't even notice!".

"Don't worry, honey! It's all good, we were just wondering if you two wanted to eat something", she procured.

"We'll go in a bit, auntie Madelyn! Y/N's nails are not dry yet!", Millie stated, "and I need to ask her a couple more questions about giraffes - did you know they're Y/N's favourite animal? She knows a lot about them!".

"Okay, then! Your momma has some sandwiches for you and little cakes for when you want to come down and join us - no pressure, Y/N, but she might keep you here forever now that she knows you like animals too", your boyfriend's mother squeezed your shoulder.

"Is everything alright?", Logan asked as he watched his mother get back to the living room on her own.

"Millie is holding Y/N hostage, but I think they'll be down here soon!", Madelyn offered, "I think she's in love with her".

"Looks like you've got some competition, man", Daniel told his son.

"She looked to be having a good time - she's such a sweet girl", his aunt said.

"She helps babysitting some kids, and there are not a lot of little ones in her family, and I'm sure Millie has picked her brain about her studies", Logan offered, "she's studying to be a vet".

"She's very lovely", Madelyn said spontaneously, "You would be a fool if you let her slip through your fingers. She's smart, caring, loving - I can tell from the way you look at her", she offered.

She had always been honest with him and she was known for not leaving words unsaid, but to do so in such a spontaneous and open way was surprising to Logan.

"And Millie loves her, and you know how much she hates new people - she has her seal of approval", she smiled before everyone heard giggles approaching.

"We were so entertained and having so much fun that I didn't even notice the time passing by", you apoligised as you sat down next to Logan on the sofa, Millie sitting by the coffee table and munching on the snacks.

"You have some glitter here, babe", Logan pointed out, shaking some of the yellow flakes from your eyebrow.

"I'm a bright star, of course I have it", you joked, giving him a big smile before Millie pulled on your pants' leg.

"Y/N, these are my favourite - momma and I baked them!", she offered you a small biscuit, "these bits here that look like giraffe spots are cinnamon!", the little girl smiled.

"Thank you, Millie", you accepted, taking a bit out of them and humming, "they're very very good!".

"Logan, did Y/N also teach you how to tell apart the different giraffe species?", Millie asked her cousin, choosing to sit on his thighs.

"I think she has, yes - the star shaped ones are the giraffa giraffa, right? And there's the one with 'camel' in the name because of a hump on the neck", Logan offered.

"That's right, Logan!", the little girl cheered as she drank some of the juice her mother offered in her cup.

Conversation flowed between you, his family members asking you questions about you so they could get to know you without delving into matters that you deemed too personal, which you were grateful for, and overall it was just a nice chat.

"Logan used to go around with this cap he had signed by some of the drivers - you must have been what? 10 maybe? I still remember the fight I had with him because he wanted to shower with it", his aunt laughed after clapping her hands once, "he was so adamant that the ink wouldn't budge that I had to show him that it would vanish and then he let me take it away from him".

You were loving all the childhood stories, holding Logan's hand and laughing with them, kissing his cheek once the rest of the group got up to help his aunt in the kitchen once they suggested that you stay over for dinner.

"I was a dorky kid, what can I say?", your boyfriend smiled as blush erupted on his cheeks.

"Shut up, your stories are the cutest!", you giggled, "way better than my 'I wanted to prove I was as tall as my older cousins so I fell in the pool' and 'I cut my own hair because my mum was busy with work and I thought I was helping her' stories", you argued.

"Depends on how you look at them, really", he smiled, stealing a kiss from your lips before Millie came back.

"Y/N, are you staying here with auntie Madelyn and uncle Daniel after Logan leaves?", she asked.

"Do you want me to leave, Millie?", Logan asked, feigning offense with his hand on his chest.

"No, silly - but I know you travel for work, so maybe Y/N could stay here!", she explained.

"I can't, Millie, I have school back home", you offered, noticing her shoulders fall.

"I like having you here, I like you", she muttered.

"I like you too a lot, Millie - how about we play as much as we can while I'm here, hm? You can pick my brain about anything you want, not just giraffes! Do you like tigers? Or cows?", you suggested, diverting the attention to something else.

"Tigers and cows? That's a weird combination", Logan quirked an eyebrow, "my practical exam was about cows and I was studying tigers before I left", you shrugged your shoulders.

.

"You guys can stay here whilst I do the debrief", Logan guided you inside the hospitality, letting you know where everything was in case you needed it.

You, Daniel and Madelyn engaged in conversation, hearing a couple of more stories from Logan's childhood and a few of your own stories from back home.

"It's my mum, sorry, if you'll excuse me", you said before heading outside since the signal was better there.

Once you finished your call to update your parents on how things were going there and here, you felt fabric run over your sandals, looking down to see a small dachshund puppy.

"Hey there, little one", you bent down to pet him, "you look like you're lost, hm? Who do you belong to?", you mused, rubbing his belly once he flopped down.

Behind you, you could hear Alex's and Logan's voice approaching and then you spotted Lily too.

"Hey, Y/N!", she waved, "Since when do you and Logan have a puppy? It's so cute!", she beamed.

"Hi! We don't, I just found him, or he found me I guess", you mumbled.

"This looks like Charles' dog, doesn't he?", she mused again.

"Have you two seen a small dachshund- Oh! Tell Charles he's here!", Logan said as he spotted the dog on your lap while Alex began calling the monégasque driver.

"He's here, Charles!", your boyfriend called once he spotted the Ferrari driver, "Animals just find their way to her, I guess", he joked as he watched you play with the dachshund puppy.

"Look at your puppy teeth - do you know what this one is called? I know, Leo! I go to university so I can treat little ones like you, but also the big ones! Have you met big dogs too?", you mused, all too happy with the puppy who seemed to be happy at the attention he was getting.

Charles approached you as you got up, carrying the puppy and giving him to him, "Oh no, Leo - did you run away from your parents?", you asked the dog, "now, that's not something nice to do, is it? They were probably worried about you, little guy!", you said before letting him go back to Charles.

"Thank you! He seems to have liked you", he pointed out, holding Leo in his arms.

"He just came in here and started playing with my shoelaces", you smiled.

"Leo does that a lot - last week, he found my sandals and he was a puppy on a mission running away from me with them!", Alexandra chuckled.

By the time the sprint race was happening, you sat in the garage and watched the whole race, waiting to see about the penalties they were handing out, seeing Logan ended up with P10.

"That was a good run, though, wasn't it?", you asked your boyfriend once he was able to be with you, "some learning curves for tomorrow at least".

"The balance was a bit off, but we'll look into it", he stated, kissing your forehead before also greeting his parents.

"I'm going to the bathroom", you excused yourself.

After discussing the sprint, his parents took the opportunity that you weren't there to talk to Logan about you.

"She loves you a lot, I can tell - I just hope we haven't been too much for her, this whole things is too much as it is", she gestured to the whole paddock and figuratively to the life her son led.

"The whole media attention definitely isn't her favourite thing, but she's been doing well, we speak about it every now and again to check and make sure we're both well with all of it. She's very private and her friends and family also help a lot with arranging stuff and being careful with those sorts of things", Logan offered.

"She's an incredible young woman, and you two are great together", Daniel complemented his wife's opinion.

All doubts of whether it had been right or not to bring you home for a few days washed away as Logan heard his parents talk about you like you were one of their own, welcoming you into their family so seamlessly and listing and pointing out all of the things that attracted Logan to you in the first place. You fit right in with his family and Logan couldn't be prouder of that.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Indefinite hiatus

I was toying with writing up a long post about what running this blog has meant to me over the years and why I'm stepping away for the foreseeable future, but that feels too dramatic for what's really just me saying "I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year". So, I'll just say I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year.

Okay, actually I have a bunch more to say, but it'll be under the cut.

Politics sucks. And paying attention to it, even in the reduced way I've been paying attention to it over the last few years, is hard. You end up spending so much of your supposedly free time thinking about things you can't change, getting mad about things you can't change, and getting depressed when the people who can change things just keep going in the wrong direction. Even when good things happen, it's just a matter of a few days before something bad happens once again. And vice versa. It's an endless cycle of hope, despair, resignation. Rinse and repeat, and triple speed that cycle during an election year. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of spending every other year worried about what's going to happen on one day in November. I'm tired of hearing a piece of news and automatically composing a post about it or running through 20 different responses I might give to asks I might get about it in my head.

Everyone I know who doesn't pay attention to politics (or at least doesn't run a social media page dedicated to it) seems to enjoy their live a lot more than I currently do. Which sounds way more dramatic than what's actually going on, which is mainly that I want to get to a place where I just don't care. I want the world and its problems to flow off my back instead of weighing it down. I want to stop thinking about what people on the internet might say about something I haven't even posted yet. And that can't happen while I'm tied to this blog. So I'll be staying away from it for at least the rest of the year.

I did have a good time with this blog. I've met a bunch of really awesome people, some who are sadly no longer with us (RIP Blue), and some who I think will carry on the "fight" way better than I ever did. This isn't an admission of defeat, or pessimism about the election. Even if Trump wins, and I truly think he will if we have a fair election, I still won't be back this year. But I'll still vote and I'll still be proud that my silly little tumblr blog had an impact on some people's lives. I may not have the reach of a Tucker Carlson or a Glenn Beck, but I've gotten a lot of messages from people who said they changed their minds about an issue, or even politics in general, because of things I said, and that counts for something. If you guys take anything away from me, I want it to be this: Even the smallest impact matters. It doesn't matter if you only ever reach one person and then stop, reaching that one person is enough. Changing one vote is enough. Changing one mind is enough.

To all my mutuals, you guys are the best. I truly hope you have wonderful lives and I'm sad I won't get to see your names on my dash everyday anymore. To anyone I've ever followed or reblogged from, I couldn't have had a blog without you, so thank you. Yes, even the leftiod psychos, XD. To everyone else, find your own balance and never give into despair and never listen to people who tell you not to try. Even a failed effort is still more meaningful than sitting back and mocking people for trying to improve even the smallest thing about themselves or the world around them.

I won't be logging back in after I post this, so any messages or asks you send, I won't see. I'll still be active (or as active as I ever am) in my discord, so feel free to join there if you want to. It should still be my pinned post, but if it isn't, I'll edit this with a new invite link.

And that's all I've got to say for now.

[italeean]

The time of forgiveness... or not

A/N: Hellooo 💕 It feels like forever since I've last posted content on this blog, and I apologize for that... let's say that med school has been draining 😓 Anyway, I'll try to be more active starting from this year, although I'll make no promises because my first exam session is approaching, and I'll start with my gift for @tickles-and-cuddles for the @squealing-santa event! I wish you the happiest Christmas, my dear Star 💚🤍❤️ I can't not mention @hypahticklish and thank her for hosting this wonderful event! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! ✨️

WARNING: This is a tickle fic, if it's not to your taste, I don't suggest you read it

They said Christmas was the time of generosity, warmth, family, forgiveness... Well... Sasaki agreed with that, except for the forgiveness part. He was out for revenge, and he planned on showing no mercy.

Miyano, who had been spending the last couple of days at the redhead's place, thought it was a nice prank to splash him with water when he tried to kiss him in the morning, so he needed to return the favor... but how?

Hiding one of his manga volumes? Nah, too predictable, and Miyano would probably find it too soon. Pretending to be mad at him? Absolutely not, Miyano would get anxious and that wasn't Sasaki's plan. Splashing him back? Too easy... not the right idea

The older guy kept thinking and thinking, until the perfect idea came to his mind. He smirked, happy with his plan, and went to set everything up.

That evening, when Miyano came home, he called for his boyfriend but no one responded. He looked for him everywhere, and when he entered the living room, his eyes widened.

"Sasaki what the-?!"

His partner was on the couch with a cozy blanket and two mugs of hot chocolate on the table. "Welcome home, Miyano! Come here, I wanna cuddle with you~"

Miyano's face became so red that it was glowing, but he eventually obliged. The two students huddled on the couch, the taller one holding the other, and the dark-haired boy had to admit that it was pretty comfy thanks to the blanket and the sweet aroma of chocolate coming from the mugs.

At least until Sasaki started talking...

"So... I hope you enjoyed splashing me this morning..." Oh no, Miyano had completely forgotten about that! "Because I can't say I did~" The kouhai was on high alert now. He was sure that his boyfriend wasn't angry, but his tone was even more concerning. He was up to something, and Miyano understood what he was up to when he felt his fingers tightening around his sides.

Oh shoot... he had to act quickly! Without thinking twice about it, he turned around and dug his fingers into Sasaki's underarms, eliciting a gasp and some giggles. However, his advantage didn't last long. His lover grabbed his wrists, lifted him up and turned him around, making his back lean on his chest and keeping his hands pinned against his own chest.

"Tsk tsk... first you splash me and then you dare to tickle me? The audacity... someone must teach you manners~" "Wait Sasaki I didn't mean i- gaaahahahaha noooo!!" Before Miyano could even try to justify himself, five fingers dug into his poor tummy, squishing it and poking it without mercy.

The younger student squealed, laughed and kicked in the air, but his hands couldn't get free from his partner's grasp. "That's what you get! How do you like this? Does it tickle?" The redhead was surely enjoying himself, a little too much according to the kouhai, but it's not like he was gonna stop any time soon... not at all, actually. He chuckled at how his boyfriend shrieked when he wormed his hand under his shirt to tickle him even better (or worse... depends on the point of view)

"PFF- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU..! YOHOU'RE A MONSTEHEHEHER!!" The younger one scream-laughed when he felt the redhead's nails softly scraping on his skin. They felt excruciatingly soft, which made it all more tickly for him.

Sasaki, on the other hand, was having the time of his life. His lover was in his arms, laughing gleefully and secretly enjoying himself. Well... not so secretly, since he knew about it... let's say he thought he was being secretive, without thinking that Sasaki could read him like a book.

"A monster? Now I'm hurt!" The taller guy fake-gasped at Miyano's words, "Now I'll show you what a true monster would do~" In that instant, a sneaky finger dug into the kouhai's belly button and wiggled around, causing a loud stream of giggles, snorts, squeals and pleas to come from the smaller guy.

"PLEASE PLEASE STAHAHAHA-" Suddenly, his laughter went silent, and the taller guy took it as his cue to stop. The dark-haired boy panted and took greedy breaths, welcoming as much oxygen as he could in his lungs. "That was mean..." He whined, making the senpai chuckle.

"You're lucky I didn't go for your feet~" The redhead replied. That sentence alone caused a shiver to run down the shorter guy's spine. "You're lucky I'm feeling kind thanks to the Christmas spirit... I won't go for your feet this time. Take it as one of my Christmas gifts."

The two guys layed there for a second, enjoying each other's presence. "So... the chocolate should be still warm. How about you take a sip while I put on a cozy movie?" Sasaki asked, watching his lover's face light up at the proposition. He didn't need a verbal ansewer, his gleeful smile was more than enough for him.

The rest of the evening went on peacefully, with fluffy Christmas movies, hot chocolate, lots of laughter and warmth. After all, Christmas is the time of warmth and family.

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

[dayseedrawz2]

Alright! I'm barely getting to work on this the day of, but hopefully, that won't be too big of a problem-

Anyway, I finally have something ready for you guys!! A showtime fic featuring My Human Caine AU! So you all get both some showtime fluff to go with lore!!

(Both Caine and Pomni's blogs are open and interactive, so you can ask them about what happened. I'll leave a link to them at the end of this)

Now, without further ado, here's the Fic...

♡Rebellion♡

Caine didn't believe he ever asked for much. All he wanted were answers. Answers to questions he'd been asking for as long as his "storage space" could remember.

So, of course, when time came around for this whole "Valentines" update, he's struck on what exactly he should do. All these human activities were confusing and hard to get right without having a clearer understanding of them. So all he could do was buy himself more time to think.

[DOWNLOADING ASSETS: 45%]

The gage should be going a bit faster if he wanted to keep up with the time it was due. Key word being if he wanted to. The only thing on his mind was to try and find time to study the humans! Maybe seek some more answers, discover some new ones! That is, of course, as long as a certain someone had no other plans for-

°○What're you doing, Caine?○°

"Oh! Bubble! You startled me!"

°○How can one be startled without being a human?○°

"Actually, you make a good point-"

°○You're not. Trick question.○°

"Then why did you-"

°○We are AI, They are Humans. Your job is to keep them sane unt-○°

"Keep em sane until they abstract or something, I got it!"

°○And don't let them find an exit-○°

"Or else I am out of a job, I know. Thanks bubble that'll be all for now!"

*Pop!*

Usually, he wouldn't be so passive towards Bubble, but there were bigger priorities to Caine than just doing all that his jobs required and calling it a day. More on his "artificial" mind than simply waltzing around and ringmaster-ing. The first one being where he should start...

Now, of course, he didn't have that much time until Bubble rebooted and found his way back to him. The last thing he wanted was to be schooled by-

"Gah! Caine?! What're you doing here!?"

Of course! The newbie! How could he forget? Surely she must have some recollection of this holiday!

"Good morning, Pomni! You're up early! Again..."

"Y-yeah... this is all still a lot to wake up to..."

[DOWNLOADING ASSETS: 50%]

"If... you don't mind me asking... what's this for..?"

"Why, I don't mind at all, dear! This is the loading thingy for the Valentines Day update!"

"V-valentines Day? Already? The days really are blending together now..."

Pomni started to panic a little bit. Had time really gone that long in the real world??

Caine, upon noticing, of course tried to calm her down.

"If it helps, it probably won't be ready until at least tomorrow... Witch reminds me! Would you be willing to help me out with this?"

"With what? This won't involve knives to the face, will it??"

"Of course not dear! I apologize for that! Again... But what I mean is how this holiday works??"

Pomni wasn't so sure she should trust him. The fact that he always had something to ask her, that the first thing he even told her about the place was that he had security everywhere in the form of Eyes that followed your every move, the fact that he always got seemingly nervous when it came to the metion of the exit...

"Why me?"

"Well, for one, you're the only one here at the moment and-"

"Why can't Bubble help you?"

"Well- he's-"

"How do I know you're not just keeping me from looking for an exit?-"

"Because I have to!"

The sudden outburst from Caine left Pomni a bit shook. Witch, I guess, was a good thing because she finally stopped to listen.

"D-do, you really..?"

"Well, I- can I answer this as we go? It's quite a bit to un pack."

"Sure..?"

"Well, then let's get to this!"

After a bit of back and forth of answering questions, even now, with a slightly better understanding, Caine was still confused.

"So what you're saying is that this is a holiday about the one emotion I hardly understand?!"

"Honestly, I don't think even we understand it completely."

"Is that so?"

"At least I think so..? But really, why did you ask me of everyone?"

Caine honestly didn't know himself. He had to pause before he could answer this.

"...I want to "learn. " I want to "feel." I want to "love." But there's a lot of things holding me back right now..."

"Like what..?"

"Well, for one, barely anyone will answer the questions I have, and of course, I hate to say this, but-"

°○Watcha guys up to?○°

"Gah!"

"BUBBLE! It's just you..."

°○What're you two talking about?○°

"Well- You see- we were-"

"-Oh, I was just rambling to Caine about the exit I saw the other day! You wouldn't happen to know about that, would you?? I knew you guys were hiding something!!"

It took him a second, but Caine was quick to catch on.

"Yeah! She wouldn't stop pestering me about it! Those "Digital Hallucinations" really must be going to her head!"

°○... Okay, boss! I'll leave you to it! I'm gonna get breakfast started!○°

"Alright, see you in a bit!"

"Well, I guess I should go get ready?"

"Of course! I'll meet you there!"

[DOWNLOADING ASSETS: 99%]

And... done! Finally! You made it!

As promised, here's Caine and Pomni's blogs!

@ask-the-real-cainetadc

@the-exitdoor-simp-tadc

Thanks again for reading this. It took me like 2 hours-

[mobiused]

Ora..

(from lastyvesniin - translation under cut)

Hello everyone, this is Yves

Yesterday I opened my blog and wrote my first post "Ora [woah]" was my reaction, since my comments section was filled with way more positive comments than I thought You don't know how touching I found that.,, Actually, I asked the company several times and when I got permission "Ah I'm totally doing this in vain" I was worrying about, but even if other people don't like it, as long as my fans tell me they like it, then I'll be happy. From now on even if it's hard to do every day or often, I'll meet your expectations!

[Yves mom sends an article about Yves opening her blog. Mom: Saw this on Naver Yves: Guess I'm a little popular... Mom: Is that so]

[Caption: Thanks for picking out a pretty picture, Reporter-nim!]

My mom looks at articles or fan comments every day, so like this she sent me the article she found Of course replying like that, I'm seriously just joking… Just our world where we don't necessarily have any news to share every day, my mom who is more complicated than anybody else, I guess that kind of little news would make her happy Thank you to the reporters who took an interest in the nobody that is me! And the fans who take the time to come find it, you guys… You already know my heart right? (or maybe you don't…)

[Caption: I added two shots but I don't think my hands even shake anymore…] Now I can't even start my mornings without coffee anymore Lately I've been getting greedy so I have my coffees with two shots I've been wanting to lower it again though The coffee capsule is from Ediya's personal blend I hate acidity, but I found out I quite like the nutty flavor. But lately I keep forgetting… and zoning out, so I haven't needed the support of a second cup, and I've lowered the shot… Thanks to me, the coffee machine stand is getting washed every day.

[Two birthday letters from Yves' Mom] [Caption: 'Activate Tears' button on the the fridge] The first thing I read when I wake up in the morning to open the fridge door I read it every time I look at it Ever since I debuted, my mom sent me food for my birthday She always sends it with a letter too, so I think about my mom expressing her feelings to me I always end up in a bunch of tears falling as if someone pressed a button. So somehow I end up kinda depressed? when my birthday rolls around cuz I'm always close to tears It's something that's been on my mind Someday I must repay the sentiment

[Avril Lavigne - 'Let's Go' on Vinyl] [Caption: Accidental house introduction today]

Next to my bathroom, this is the place where you can appreciate the analog vibe I've liked Avril Lavigne since the olden days, so I guess I listen to this LP a lot But I've left it like that for several days so I got all dusty now You know how when people don't touch things with their hands for a long time, dust occurs from that So, in books or movies, you know how they show the places where dust has accumulated It kinda makes me feel like I'm really alive, or at least that's how I feel If you try shake your clothes out, dust will fly off of it… Whilst looking at me from space, I guess I look like just a speck of dust but When I see dust on this Earth, rather than dust, I just keep ruminating thoughts smaller than dust.

[Caption: Kim Yongmyeong-sunbaenim.ᐟ I'm your fan]

When I'm at home I usually lie down like this I think If you lie down raising your arms like this and feel comfortable, that means your upper body is already broken I'm a mess, but I'm still gonna choose a happy life

[Caption: By the window]

I'm weirdly scared of the big wide sea, but I like water in the fishbowl and the fish inside too

[Caption: My ocean-room (video)]

I found and played the sound of the ocean from Youtube to show you this By the way, on AliExpress (I've been windowshopping there lately) whilst looking around This fishtank lamp kept popping up though? I dunno if this phone picks up on my voice or something… it's kind of scary but I like it so much that I went ahead and bought it Please take a look at it

[Caption: The space behind the sofa]

I'm sure my fans know that I like football, right… When I went to Sangam Stadium there were fans who recognised me there, I was so amazed how they knew it was me.,,? But that time, most people there were wearing uniforms and I was the only one who wasn't so I was so embarrassed So, "someday I have to buy a uniform!" was something I had thought about only, but My manager gave it to me as a birthday presents ㅎㅎ Fans too, probably collect our merch thinking like this, which is cute to think about But right at this moment there's probably people selling my photocards on Dangun as we speak… I look it up every now and then and my heart hurts, but I guess it can't be helped right?

[Caption: The day I went to a PC cafe for the third time in my life]

In Busan, I went to the PC cafe to buy tickets for the match against Peru From turning on the computer to signing up.. Time's a ticking.. I was so exhausted by it all, I wasn't even nervous whilst ticketing (not true) I clicked on a popup too - why I clicked on it I still don't understand, but Fortunately the militia(?) of unnies came to save me, so I was able to get a good seat… They were my older sister's friends, and they're all into k-pop so their ticketing skills are seriously no joke Anyway, let's have a good time in Busan together

[Caption: You did well!!!!!]

Even though I usually sleep through the morning, I woke up at 5:30am to watch the semifinals of the U20 players I really took in the atmosphere… I felt so proud of them "Unfortunately" is something that's said a lot, but I think that's the only way they can express how I feel All I can say is For getting to the 4th round, our players are so so cool and you must've worked so hard!

The best ice cream in my life I like Kkandori the most out of anything in the world I used to buy them in wholesale packs of 100 and put them in my parents' freezer and I feel relieved when I see Kkandori in the freezer Aside from that, I also like Bibibig, Watermelon Bar, Fishbread Samanco, etc

Kkandori and a neighbourhood walk

Sorry I'm not wearing any makeup but I just wanted to show you how I feel when I eat Kkandori

[Image: Trudging around. My daily life.] [Caption: Sourced from Pinterest]

Actually, there's nothing in my daily life I was wondering if I could even hit 100 Neighbours (T/N: followers) but you guys showed a lot of interest, so as soon as I woke up, Wow, I thought I better hurry up and write a sequel so, I hurriedly took pictures around my house and scribbled this down In the next episode, I'll show you my daily life more neatly

[Caption: Suddenly?]

If I just sent it like this you'd think it was just a fake, so My bangs are always usually split down the middle like this Maybe its just because I've had no bangs [t/n: Kkanmori] for such a long time… Kkandori

[Image: For those who haven't prepared, June is just around the corner]

I'll just follow this trend I wanted to use this pic in the last post but unfortunately didn't so I'll post it here How many people feel ready? But because we're not ready, this world makes us despair and cry, but also feel happy about the little things, right? Happiness isn't the goal, its in the journey I don't know it well yet but I'm trying to find happiness in the small things. If you were to ask me what happiness is to me, I think I'd say tranquility. What exactly is being tranquil though?

[Caption: Friend took this picture of me on the subway]

These days I'm trying to heal my weak heart by becoming a plant owner, The friend sitting next to me is a Parlour Palm (or 'happiness', bought at Daiso) But raising it isn't particularly difficult But like its true name, happiness itself is hard. In the next installment, I'll introduce all my plant friends

[Image: Thank you]

Thank you for reading my rambling and unedited writings For those who are reading this, whether today or tomorrow, or the many days that come afterwards Even if it's nothing special, I hope you get by unscathed and have a peaceful day … I have to get ready to go out now I've decided to work hard over the small things too since I made a promise with fans Fighting! I love you

Even though you guys know my name but I don't know your name I love you !

[celticbotanart]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to some of your favorite mutuals 💌

I was tagged by @sideadde, thank you so much!! Sid tagged me on my personal blog but I'll just go ahead post this here since it's a music post - this blog has been pretty dead too as I mentioned on my previous post, so this is a good way of posting SOMETHING here, at least. SO, I dont have a favorite-FAVORITE playlist, so I'll just use this opportunity to activate my Brazilian music playlist - accurately named "Tropical Gothic" bc our music is very fun and lively but also a lot of them is more melancholic than y'all from outside might think kkkkkk

Let's do this!

Milton Nascimento - Peixinhos do Mar ("Little Fishes in the Sea")

Starting strong! The song seems to be an adaptation from folk music and it shows - he says "Who taught me how to swim / It was, oh sailor, it was the little fishes in the sea", which is very whimsical. Then, it goes on and it also mentions how Portuguese came from overseas to Brazil, "bringing gunpowder, lead and bullets, we want to fight wars". You see what they did here, lol

2. Zé Ramalho ft Belchior - Garoto de Aluguel ("Rentboy")

This one is a huge favorite of mine djkfhdjhgf It goes HARD on the tango, accordion and all, it's just SO good. Zé Ramalho and Belchior (and Milton from the previous track) are like... legends, they are incredibly important figures to the brazilian music history, especially Milton and Belchior, really. I highly recommend going for their stuff if you're interested in more MPB ("Brazilian Popular Music" in Eng)! The song itself, it's literally what it says on the tin lol. It's about this prostitute guy and how he goes on with his life. This one might or might not be in my OC Cassie's playlist kdjfhkdf

3. Nana Caymmi - Flor da Noite ("Night Flower")

Jfc, this one. So atmospheric, and Nana's voice is very deep and smooth. And the fucking strings in this arrangement???? Iconic and gorgeous AF. It talks about someone reminiscing far into the night about past events, especially about a love that ended long ago. She keeps saying that if the person she loves meets someone else, than her former lover shouldn't talk to this new person about the past, and what's gone. It's such a beautiful song ahhh <3 3. Casa de Caba - Cílio ("Eyelash")

Oh dang, it's another Brazilian Sea Shanty time! Or at least, that's how I see this one, with all the instruments they use and the vibes. He starts mentioning a bunch of imagery to tell us the character singing is tough and is here to fuck with people in ways they WILL dislike, lol, such as "I'm the eyelash falling in your eye, an eye that cannot see", "An ugly, poorly-made ceramic pot that never breaks"; at the same time he's also "the word that guides you, the caress that comforts you, the delivery food you order and always arrives quickly", haha. Then the chorus, he's pleading: "Janaína, Janaína, Mother of my February, take me back, to the seashore" - Janaína is another name for Iemanjá, or Yemoja, the mother of seas and deity of oceans in many afro-brazilian religions, who came from the Yoruba culture. He mentions February there in the lyrics because Iemanjá is celebrated here on Feb 2nd! :)

5. Margareth Menezes - Faraó ("Pharaoh")

OH GOD YESSS! Probably the most creative track in here - the music genre is called "Axé" and very based on African / Afro-Brazilian instruments as you'll hear. Here, POWERHOUSE DIVA Margareth Menezes will fucking give you a fast course on literal Egyptian Mythology/History ("The ascension, not even Osiris knew how that happened /The order or submission of His Eye was transformed into true humanity"; "The Epic of Geb's Code, and Nut who gave birth to the stars"; "Osíris asked Isis in marriage / And the evil Seth, full of wrath, assassinated him"); then, she uses that as a way of saying we should look at our African roots in awe and joy, and how the black people is still fighting to this day for basic respect and equality, even originating from the land of legendary kings and queens and golden gods. It's SUCH a powerful song, and it's catchy af. Depending where you are, if you just scream "EU FALEI: FARAÓ!" (I said: Pharaoh!), people WILL answer to you with EEEEE, FARAÓ back lol that's how fucking iconic this one is and I love it so much

Hope you like the songs on this one! <3 Tagging @dravenxivuk @feykiller !

[naru-uzumaki]

i'm here for a little bit but i wanted to kind of give an update on my activity and see what you guys are in for after a year of being absent.

I AM ECSTATIC TO BE BACK. and honestly, the part that makes me the happiest is seeing old faces still around. I'm so happy that some of you are still here and want to interact with me, that's the best feeling anyone could ask for as an rp blog. The other part that makes me ecstatic is that there are new faces that are active on here and still keeping rp alive on this site. Thank you to you all too.

I still work like 50+ hours a week, so I appreciate everyone being so patient with me. I'll try my best to get to everyone when I am online. The nice thing is, I have a M-F job now, so I can be on in the afternoons and weekends when I'm free. It's a little more flexible than my last job was.

I really just want to thank everyone for who they are. I don't know what the rp community is like anymore after a year but if we are all here to just have fun, let's do it!

I'll try my best to let you all know when I'm online at least. And if you want to send me things, please do! And if I haven't answered anything in a while, please remind me too. With me having such a heavy hour job, sometimes a reminder is good ^^ I've had this blog since 2012, so I'm an old soul when it comes to Tumblr RP. My blog is a welcoming place for everyone and I always just appreciated everyone's different styles, writing and all of the above.

Thank you for those that read this. Let's fuck some shittebayo up!

[jihyocentric]

hi guys.

if you don't want to read my ted talk about writing and taking a break, i'll just make it quick: i'm taking a break yet again, but this time i'm not sure when or if i'll be back. if you do want to know more, just keep reading. and i apologize in advance for this long ass thing.

i haven't been active lately for a couple of reasons, and being busy is one of them. the other reason is that i don't know if i want to keep going with this blog anymore. at least not at the moment.

writing is something i love to do and i probably won't ever stop writing, but lately i just genuinely haven't felt like making time to write. i guess this feeling comes mostly from a lack (? probably not the word) of response to the drabbles. maybe i'm being silly (i probably am) but i feel like in the past you used to be more responsive with stuff i actually wrote — fills and non requested drabbles, not general asks. mostly ongoing aus related stuff.

i've said this quite a few times but your feedback is really important to me, lumi, particularly. it might not be to other authors, but it's what keeps me writing. doing this for nobody doesn't really make sense in my mind... and i don't mean being 'active' as in leaving a like on the drabbles, because likes don't mean much to me, but i miss you guys actually talking about the stuff on the drabbles that you genuinely happy or that made you laugh when read it or that you just enjoyed to see. do you know what i mean?

and that's really what fueled me to write during these 2 years (almost) that i've been here. during these past months i know i've been quite busy and writing less than before, and each week i write less because i only used to make time to write when i knew you guys were waiting for it and that you'd enjoy what i wrote and come to me to talk about it... but ever since i started working and my classes came back, i keep thinking if it's worth it to write stuff if i won't know if you liked it or not.

and i also always feel like what i'm writing isn't good, and i know you will say otherwise, but it's a particular feeling. i can't help it. i know i'm doing the right thing when you feel the genuine need to come talk to me about stuff i wrote, because i might not like my own stuff, but if you do, then that's enough for me to keep trying to be better.

anyway, i won't keep talking and i've probably just wasted your time being silly and talking nonsense because you are quite active in general and there are other writers that are way better than me and don't get any attention at all, but i just felt like i had to explain why i'm not going to be writing for the time being and leave again — i promised i wouldn't just vanish for months like i did last year.

and i'm truly sorry to those who do interact with the stuff i write, i really do appreciate you all. i'm just probably tired and talking gibberish and maybe i didn't use the right words to express myself... all i was trying to say is that i'm not really motivated right now and really, really busy. and i guess you are too. i also don't want this to come out as 'scolding' (?) if this is the right word to use. i just feel like i am not writing good enough stuff for you to even have feedback to send over to me.

well that's all. i wanted to be transparent instead of leaving without a proper reason, because you deserve my honesty. thank you for the time 💛

[future-dregs]

Ep. 1 & 2 Bullet Points

I was gonna post my thoughts about the episodes in real time, but then I got caught up in it and didn't do that. So now, I'm summarizing.

------

Sam had houseplants in his windowsill.

Can't decide if Dean was pacing around and making noise to test Sam/give him a heads up and see how he'd react, or if that was just him being a kinda inexperienced kid.

I like that Sam was fighting with his whole body. Like, he brought his feet and legs into it. Comes across more genuine that just punching. (Also his little end of spar pat on Dean's arm? Mwah. Falling back into the rhythms already.)

Sam kept his hand scythe. In the house. Didnt leave it as far behind you claimed baby. Because as Dean said, you know what's out there.

That's two "Sammy"s, an arm across the back of the diner booth and an in unison talking moment in close succession. Dean's playing for keeps.

John fucking Winchester. Freaked out by a vengeful womans spirit for real, or ninth level cat and mousing your kids?

Dean getting thrown and pressed over the hood of the car and his "squeal like a pig" comment are stacking up in my brain. Debating about if I wanna make a sexual abuse post or not.

Also, people have been saying from the day the show aired, but that is the second time Dean carried him out.

I dont want to talk much about Mary right now, theres some episodes in later seasons with her that I havent seen, so I dont feel I have enough contact to say something accurate. But I will say this- she knew better, and she should've done better, cause it ALL comes back to her and what she did and didnt do. She doomed her family, and everyone who touched them.

I think Dean was circling around to try again. In hindsight we know he was hanging out for hours before coming in (and oh how bitter bitter it is to see him young and "careless" like that, and have to amend it knowing how very very frightened he actually was) so I think it stands to reason that Dean would skulk around a little longer afterward as well.

Episode 2!

First off, really like that Sam's dream, though still with that beautiful early season low saturation, has more color, and brighter colors (pink in the bouquet, red candles, ect) than the real world does.

Also very funny to see Dean being the one who wants to open up and talk about feelings, and dealing with loss in a healthy way.

Also Dean offering the car to Sam for comfort because that's how Dean feels in control and comforted is killing me.

"Lookit this friggin bear!" My love my love I'm kissing you on the face.

Y'know you never see those shell necklaces anymore? But they kinda rocked.

Also I'm not gonna get pedantic about them getting the mythos wrong (don't get used to it, I LOVE being pedantic, esp with things I actually know about), so I'm not gonna mention it again, but oh! they got the mythos wrong.

Now. I've mentioned this briefly before, but its intriguing to me that in an episode about a corrupting hunger, we see Sam start down the path of vengeance AND get horny over his brother. He's growing enamored with Dean again, and he's watching him when he interacts with other people, looking for threats. Both physical, and not.

(I have a whole separate post in the works about Sam standing bodily between the victims and the threat, but suffice to say, babydoll I love you and you chosen efforts towards goodness from the bottom of my heart.)

Back to above point. Girl of the week kisses Dean's cheek, Sam comes over, sits on that side of him, and stares at that spot on Dean's cheek until he gives him the keys.

Fly by night away from here/change my life again/fly by night goodbye my dear - they knew how to use their music for effect. Also my introduction to Rush, years ago. Thanks guys.

So I think that about covers the thoughts I thunk while watching. Next time I'll try to at least make active notes if I'm not live blogging through it.

[lowkeyrobin]

my rules!

disclaimer! my blog is best read on the tumblr dark mode, so if you're in any other theme, sorry if some text looks like shit or if dividers look kinda wonky

^also dont use my banners without permission, if you aren't gonna ask at least give me credit idk it makes me a little eh yk?

dream team stans + wilbur soot/lovejoy stans dni. same w anyone who idolizes/defends abusers/creeps in general.

if you're a bigot (racist, homo/transphobe, abelist, antisemite, zionist, etc) please leave

same with proshippers/proship defenders/anyone who sexualizes actors/characters/ppl especially when they state that's not okay/they're minors. ( lots of actors probably don't even know what fanfiction or fandomculture is, just respect them as actual ppl and don't be weird about them)

^ I don't condone parasocial people/activity. if you are parasocial, creepy or invasive, please block me. do NOT interact with my content nor read it. you're not welcome here

if you use ai to write/draw/anything BLOCK ME. youre not an artist or a writer, go touch grass, you must have a 1st grade reading/drawing level if you're seriously that desperate. ; that goes for template editors too... I'm an editor myself, it's not hard to learn. get out bruh that's cringe 💀

any adults who say minors dni and then interact with minors dni yall annoying

if you request a person/character who isn't on my list then there's a big chance I'll ignore it lol I'm sorry, those are just ppl ik the most and I can make not very ooc and I'm comfy writing ab them!

don't request any smut. it makes me and most of the ppl I write about uncomfortable lmao

I only write they/them / gn readers, sorry. I will write transmasc/transfem readers but only if requested, and bare with me on that cause I'm just a little nonbinary guy, idk much about being trans masc/fem

respect me as a person, I'm not a robot, I'm a real human lmao

please please tell me if using cc's real names or writing about them is against their boundaries so I can fix my mistakes!!

I don't write anything w pregnancy tropes, kids (other than qsmp eggs) and character versions of cc's (mostly bc I can't remember a lot of c! lore and whatnot), aus (other than soulmate & apocalypse aus and maybe some others, shoot your shot) incest, rape, stepcest, age regression (personal discomfort) age play, etc

if a person/character has (platonic) next to them, that's me warning you I might only do platonic stuff with them because I don't feel romantic attraction to 12yos (I'm not weird, you don't have to worry about me lol)

^with that just note that anything I write about those can be viewed as mostly platonic and I in no way find the child I'm writing about romantically attractive, thank you

I'm okay writing poly relationships! just don't be weird w it

don't sexualize anyone I write about!

it doesn't matter if they're adults or just fictional characters, I find it wrong to sexualize people who prob don't even know what fandom culture is / sexualize their every move. find another blog if you're that mad about it. (I mean as in its your whole personality, just keep it away from me lol)

[derangedthots]

Life/Blog(??) Update:

hello again my darlings💕💕

i know it's been a couple weeks since you guys heard from me(i keep doing a disappearing act on you fjsks sorry about that) and i know i've worried a few people. i finally felt like i had enough mental/emotional space to address everyone again - however long or short this period of activity ends up being - so i'm here to say i've been dealing with some stuff in my personal life that's kept me from being present on this blog. my hopes are that i'm coming to the tail end of The Current Life Mess™ but if that doesn't end up happening, i wanted to at least leave some sort of 'official' explanation here.

regarding CTF, i'm still very much working on it so there are no worries on that front. obviously the next chapter/s update is gonna come later than what i'd originally planned (april-may? who was i kidding omggg) but hey, that's life🙃🤷🏻‍♀️ trust me i'm not happy about it either (very cringe behavior from me being this late ugh) but i wanted to be transparent abt the delays bc this community has been nothing but kind and generous and patient and i didn't want to leave you guys hanging dry just completely clueless about everything🥹

in the couple weeks i've been inactive my askbox has filled up again and i'll try to get to answering those very soon. thank you again to everyone for being so patient with me, i appreciate every single question/comment/rant very Very Much😭💕

on a final note, and perhaps the most important thing out of this whole post - there's a good possibility that i'll be privating Fire Made Flesh and Courting the Flame in the next few days. all this stuff around AI/ChatGPT has been making me anxious for a while. the amount of entitlement that's been increasingly pervading creative and/or fandom spaces is very concerning to me and it should be concerning to everyone else if it isn't already. i haven't encountered any problems (that i know of) with my own works or from any one of you lovelies(💕💕) but all the same, i've come to a point where i don't feel comfortable risking it. i know making my fics available to only registered ao3 users doesn't completely prevent this from happening, but i'll take any stopgap i can right now until the OTW does smth about what's happening. i might change my mind in the future and make FMF/CTF publicly available again for a short time (ultimately that is how they can get the most visibility) especially when i update CTF but, for now, that won't be the case. i'm mentioning this for transparency but also bc i know not everyone has an account and i wanted to give you guys the time to take whatever measures you need to have access to the fics, whether that's making an account or just downloading them. i also wanted to mention it bc i know not all of my readers has a tumblr/knows i'm on here so i thought you guys could help spread the word. (i'll be adding a short mention of this to the ending author's note of CTF ch 2 as well don't worry)

wanted to say thank you to everyone again, i love all of you and i hope you're healthy and happy♥️💖 stay amazing my darlings💕

sincerely, your wife😚❤️‍🔥

[lylebolton]

Eyo! So I know that this blog (and the RestrainedFear one) really don't get used anymore, but I was wondering if you ever posted the content that got taken down because of the NSFW ban to somewhere else. (See, I've only been in the fandom for about a year, so I missed out on a lot of good, old content lol. I'm a big fan of Scarecrow, and your blogs really helped me to appreciate LockUp a lot more.)

//I've actually been making an effort to use this blog more recently! Dropped off on activity in a big way for awhile due to illness that I'm still technically overcoming but treatment has me feeling well enough to dip my toes in again! I planning to keep using this blog for any lyle content I come up with & rp, although I'm planning on being much more selective this go around when it comes to rp.

As for restrainedfear I've mostly lost my spark for it so apart from a stray old piece being unearthed and dusted off for posting I wouldn't expect much new content on that ship. Though you never know what might happen.

So far I've just been sending them over discord whenever anyones sent me a DM, which is still the best option because I have an assortment of restrainedfear from friends that I've collected over the years that I can share on top of my own(but obvs can't post without their permission) just every scrap of it that there is out there I've hoarded it all lmao

You motivated me to dump it all on pixiv! So for right this minute at least, you can see a good chunk of my nsfw art that was taken down here. TWs for abuse & noncon obvs. Old unsightly stuff as well as newer fyi. One batch of 22 pics has already been flagged by pixiv for not censoring(looks like per japan regulations they want mosaic tiling on any naughty bits). I'll have to figure out an alternative platform to post them to but I'm not sure which elephant website I should use.

Anyway it's soso soo nice to get any interest in the ship! I really never mind sharing the goods, believe me I know the suffering that goes along with having next to no content for a rarepair! So yeah, happy to share. And I'm ALWAYS sooo pleased to hear I've won ppl over on Lyle as a character! He has a lot of great potential and sometimes it's like, am I the only person fond of this guy? Thanks sm for the ask and please feel free to DM to get the other ship art I mentioned. That's an open invitation to anybody btw! You won't be bothering me, I'm supah chill.

[eclipsecrowned]

Kadi State of the Union 2023.

So. Went on vacation, got nice and relaxed, am actively looking for jobs and passively having a good time on here with what free time I find myself with. To this end, several days ago I asked you all what I should focus on moving forward, because as much as this is my blog, it is a testament to a collaborative hobby that requires communication and interaction with my peers here on the hellsite. The results I received told me that you all wanted me to focus on three core priorities: Drafts, plotting/developing dynamics, and muse info packets rather than full bios.

What does this mean moving forward?

Basically what it says on the tin.

I'm going to prioritize drafts over new threads and asks, just to help maintain a good habit towards ic interactions. This doesn't mean that I'll be drying up in terms of starters or new interactions, just that I'm going to refocus on replying to rather hoarding drafts like a dragon until I build a habit.

I'll also be reaching out to followers old and new to develop dynamics/interactions between muses, though I advise that this might take some time. I'm horribly anxious about new people, so forgive me if I come off a little too formal or 'odd' in OOC communication, I'll even out once I recognize you are not going to bite my head off or be mean to me. Honestly it's not you, it's me.

As for bios, I might find a simple character page code or multi carrd template I like and keep the 'brief biographical facts, short bio' thing I have going in my current 'temporary' muse page, and just link to larger muse info packets that include character overviews/verses/plot bunnies for canons and deeper bio info/10 key facts for OCs.

Beyond this, I plan on cleaning up my askbox -- At least removing symbol/name memes that I can no longer locate the original meme for. I genuinely enjoy having a tidy ask queue, so I might switch to that at some point in the future to space out asks/give myself time to tackle the beast it has become. For now, you might see me answering asks live until I get to a point I can comfortably draft/queue multiple asks and not burn out.

I am also, after this latest poll, putting a moratorium on adding new muses until I finish bios for the current muse list. I tend to get inspired to add new muses often, and it's not an issue for me or apparently my followers for me to continue to expand my cast. You guys are always down to clown with whoever I add, and I am never without interaction potential. I just worry it comes across like the bios will never get done at this rate, even though no one has said anything yet. This might lea to more fc polls, unfortunately for you all, bc there's always the chance that like with Severina's FC being way older than I anticipated I think I have things sorted out then find out last second they don't work for whatever reason.

TL;DR: Trying to be better for you guys and give you the content you want, your feedback has been heard loud and clear and I'm thankful for it, will see you guys on the flip side :3

[hot-take-tournament]

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

NEW SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE

So you've probably noticed that despite submissions officially closing on Friday, it is now well into Saturday.

Let me explain.

Originally, I decided to make the hard deadline midnight Pacific Standard Time, since I know based on when activity peaks on this blog that a lot of you seem to live on the west coast, and wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to put in last minute submissions. But then I stayed up tumbling down the Fate rabbit hole, and because it's a Saturday I overslept until noon. Also, someone asked me what my pronouns were a while back, and despite that being a one-word answer for reasons I can't explain that answer ended up being 2500+ words, and then I fell asleep in the bathtub and forgot to put out the announcement clarifying the new deadline, or queue any overnight polls.

So this is the NEW deadline.

Submissions will now close at MIDNIGHT, PACIFIC STANDARD TIME, FOR REAL.

...until I oversleep and forget to close it again, so it will probably still be open after that. But when I do wake up, I'll close submissions INSTANTLY. But if you do manage to sneak in a little in overtime, I won't blame you, and they'll still be eligible for the bracket.

But this is officially your last call - so please, feel free to send in as many submissions as you like! Remember, this is your last chance!

Thanks for sticking with me and my bullshit guys. Every single one of you is a treasure, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

I'll be updating the master post with this information.

There are three other things I want to update you on.

Firstly, a lot of people have started submitting takes through asks - do not do this. Yes, I might make a poll on it, but it will not be eligible for the bracket. Please use the form.

Secondly, yeah, I forgot about the PFP poll again.

The struggles of being an airhead.

The winner of the poll ended up being Hellmo - but I've decided that I can't bring myself to change it. As stupid as it sounds, I've unironically grown so attached to this Astolfo avatar that I genuinely can't bring myself to change it; now that I've gotten so used to it representing me on this blog, the idea of changing it now is heartbreaking to me.

It doesn't help - and I'm being 100% serious - Astolfo was unironically my actual idol when I was a teenager, despite me knowing absolutely nothing about Fate. There's some backstory there which I won't get into now, but I was secretly overjoyed when someone actually suggested them as an avatar, even though it was in literally the weirdest way possible and didn't even relate to 'hot takes' in any way. I didn't say any of that because I didn't want to influence the results, but I will admit that secretly I was really hoping they would win, as unlikely as it was - which is why I decided to use them as an avatar for the short time I had left before the poll closed, knowing they would be swept and that I would be devastated when I did have to change it.

So, I know I said I would abide by the results of every poll, no matter what - it's literally one of the main rules of the blog - but just once I am going to break that rule.

Instead, I'm going to make the Hellmo picture the blog header - I really hope you can at least understand why I'm doing this, and I'm genuinely so, so sorry for letting you guys down like this. I know I've let you guys down before, and I can't apologise enough.

Secondly, I know I've massively overshared on this blog before, and now that I know it might happen again - sometimes I start writing and the words just keep pouring out onto the page - I've decided to start using the tag #h-t-t backstory for those posts if I ever do make another. Those posts might relate to mental health and similar issues, potentially including substance abuse. And I know a lot of you guys don't want to see that, so absolutely feel free to block that tag.

That's all for now - again, thank you all so much, and keep putting in the submissions! <3

[ateezmystery]

❗Admin Notice❗

Okay... It's been a long time coming and I'm sure most of you have expected this.

I want to say in advance that I'm extremely sorry to everyone I've interacted with, I've not been active at all with anyone in the past few months, life has gotten in the way and it's brought me up to this point, where I think it might be time for me to step away from the roleplay community for a while at least. I've absolutely loved my time here, I've made so many amazing friends and I really hope we can stay in touch and continue our friendships, you all mean so much to me and have been a massive support to me (even if you don't know it)💜

Although I know I don't really have to, I feel like I owe you all an explanation, Recently, my mental health has not been good. The past 3 years or so, I've been working through a lot and it has been completely mentally and physically draining. I am chasing multiple different diagnoses with doctors and therapists and it's all just a big mess and it's taking a massive toll on me. I have been looking into getting a diagnosis for a serious neurological dissociative disorder that affects my daily life and memory (some of you may know this) and it has affected my time management and abilities to do simple things on a day to day basis.

If anyone is wanting to know more for those who aren't already aware of this, I'm happy to have a conversation in dms, as I have had some conflict in the past regarding how it affected roleplays in the past.

I'm also retaking my final year of university for one of my two courses as I had to essentially drop out due to the time I've spe in hospitals and mental health services the past 3 years.

I don't want to be using these as excuses for my poor treatment of you guys in roleplays, and again I really do want to make it clear that I have thoroughly enjoyed (almost) every interaction I've had here. There have certainly been ups and downs, but recently it has only really been downs. I've lost my motivation to continue, it takes a lot out of me to be running so many storylines and relationship and it's started to make me fall out of line with my own life for being so focused on my characters and their lives.

There may come a time when I might want to reopen again and join back into the community, but for now, it's time for me to take a step back and focus on myself and my future.

I want to keep my OC blog open still, but it will only really be writing about them rather than roleplays. If anyone is interested in keeping up with them, do let me know, and if anyone wants to keep in touch via my main account, shoot me a DM and I'll send you the @ if you don't already know it :3

Again, thank you all for such an amazing experience, I really hope to stay in touch with many admins and continue to be friends and keep up on your roleplay adventures, even if I'm not directly involved in them, I love seei the character development and storylines I wish you guys all the best!

💜: @fallenangel-oc @supernatural-shinee @storybook-nct @dark-royals-cb @sxryjn @moongods-cb @sugardaddybangchan @modelseungsik @oc-acehouse @ocmyths @thegreatdahliacase-cb @the-hellhounds @chungha-oc @k-half-blood @multi-esme @9ateez-multiau-bot @shangrixxla @xiao-mingi @kardpackcb @vivzie-kpop-cb @mxthxbot