#at least drop a kudos on the fic whose plot you're using if you don't mention it in the author's notes!

[undercat-overdog]

I’ve been thinking recently about all the comment culture discussions and the recent talk around authors’ archive-locking their fic and one of the things that bothers me is how I never really see those discussions centered around the author. The comment conversations are a mix of reasons why readers don’t comment, how to comment, and why comments are good, but I’m not sure I’ve seen something that centers the author as person. Instead it’s the broader community and its desire for “content” that’s centered: comments are good because they keep authors writing (which is, I think, broadly true though people vary in the particulars), but it’s hard to comment (also broadly true, also varies in the particulars), but lack of feedback means some authors stop writing (also also true). The goal seems to be to keep the fic flowing.

And no one is owed comments and no one is owed fic and if it’s harmful to your mental health to comment, or harmful to your mental health to keep your fic online, that’s far more important. Please, don’t take me as saying that you need to comment or that you need to keep making fic available. Reader and/or author, what is best for you comes first; what you are able to do or want to do comes first.

(As for the talk about how authors are bad for archive-locking fic and that they should be shamed and scolded for doing so? No sympathy. I have less than zero patience for that argument. It’s more than fine to feel sad or grieved that you have lost a story you loved or can no longer access it - it is sad! It’s why I download stories now. But an author can do as they wish with their creations; no one is owed fic.)

But none of this gets at the author as person. These discussions seem to return to the personal reasons why a reader wouldn’t comment and how the author as content producer is more likely to write if they get feedback, the goal to get people to comment so fic continues to be produced: put money in the vending machine so you can get a snack. But I think at least some of authorial angst is driven less by comments per se and more by the desire to be recognized and feel seen as people and not fic-producing machines. Authors have anxiety too. Oh, do some of us have anxiety!

To use me as an example, since I’m the only person I truly know: I have almost deleted fic or moved it to an unrevealed collection multiple times because of anxiety that is tied to feels of either not being seen or being seen and intentionally ignored; I almost did so yesterday. It hurts to be ignored, especially when you know that your fic was read and seen but ignored. And that would be one thing - no one’s required to like my work or my friends’ works but to pretend your story is unique when you’re clearly very, very influenced by those works to the point of rewriting dialogue and using the same plot points with the same plot items. It makes me as a person feel ignored and it is currently killing my motivation to write, because at times I am a fainting flower. (To be very clear, my reaction is me, and no one owes me feedback or whatever, or to listen to my navel-gazing.) And I don’t like when my friends and fellow authors are seen then ignored either: that very much makes me angry. But yes, anxiety. It's easy to feel invisible or to feel like you're not worth recognizing.

I do want to note that there are circumstances in which acknowledgement and recognition is owed. If you take direct inspiration from someone’s plot, or rewrite it, that needs to be acknowledged, and it bothers me when it’s not: it feels like being used. Likewise, one place readers do have an obligation to comment, barring extenuating circumstances, is if they are given a gift fic as part of an exchange or event that they signed up for.

So idk. I guess what I’m saying is that I often feel that people don’t see that there’s a person behind the ao3 author’s name and that person’s not recognized. It might be that which stings the most.

(While I used  “author” throughout, this applies to all people in fandom who create and share their works. I am an author, so that’s the perspective I’m speaking from, but there are many creative perspectives that are no less important. And of course, “writer” and “reader” are not exclusive categories and I’d guess that most of the former are also the latter. Likewise “artist” isn’t exclusive, nor “podcaster” or so on.)

One last point: I’m not sure it’s talked about how long it can take to write something? I’d guess that most of my one-shots have taken at least two or three dozen hours to write/edit/post and I’d say I’m probably of average speed (when I’m writing lol). For most authors, writing’s not quick; 5k isn’t dashed off in an afternoon but might take 40+ hours. It’s a labor and for most of us it takes time.