#at least Classic Lara looked like she was IN CONTROL

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Breaking my silence

I have defended Survivor Lara against the unbearable Core fans, and I still insist that she is a fine iteration of the character and she has her place in the series...

...but...

I think it's very important that, moving forward, her characterisation returns to her 2006-2008 era iteration.

Keep the new character model (get rid of her disgusting messy hair though) with the realistic proportions and musculature, but other than that:

~Bring back Keeley Hawes as the voice actress. She's been voicing the character the longest but other than that she has also given the definitive performance of the character. She is the perfect embodiment of a seasoned adventurer type of Lara and can give the character a huge array of emotions, from anger, to joy, to sorrow and even fear

~LAU Lara had a more detailed backstory than Core's Lara and a personal stake in her reasoning for adventuring but was still very much actively enjoying what she does. Survivor Lara, so far, has only been tomb raiding as a means to an end and looks visibly tired and traumatised each time. It was perfectly fine in the first Survivor game but this is no longer needed. She's been through hell and back, it's now the best time for her to be cynical, sarcastic, to throw out one liners and jokes and have a powerful demeanour. LAU Lara, even when cornered or outmatched, is still in control of the situation and appears mostly unphased. Relatable, next-door-type-of-girl Lara was not bad, but she also, really, doesn't need to be that 😅 She's been raised as a countess, she owns three manor houses in the English countryside, she's anything but relatable to your average person and that's fine. Playing as characters you can relate with in video games is nice and characters like that are perfectly valid and have a place in gaming, but for a game like Tomb Raider, playing as a sassy, strong, intelligent badass that cracks jokes at the face of danger is, to me personally, much more fun and empowering.

~LAU Lara is the perfect middle ground between Core's Classic Lara and Crystal's survivor Lara, and even the games themselves are kind of in the middle of the classic PS1 formula and the set-piece and combat heavy formula of the latest trilogy. It's the best "return to form" to avoid alienating fans of both eras.

~No more bow. Seriously. This is very important. Lara should have already had her pistols back by Rise. The bow was perfectly fine and made sense in TR13 but was extremely stupid beyond that. I honestly don't even want it as a secondary weapon. Give her back her pistols and have a shotgun, assault rifle and SMGs as alternate weapons. That's all she needs. Keep the jade pendant and the climbing axe(s) for Survivor rep, but the bow needs to go. It doesn't fit. The pants staying instead of shorts and ponytail instead of braid would be fine by me too tbh, but I know Core purists are gonna cry a lot about it so... Yeah...

~Last but not least, remaster LAU with all the extra costumes from the PSP versions of Legend and Anniversary, the extra Wii Croft Manor room from Anniversary, the 360 DLC for Underworld, and the Temple of Osiris model for all three games, which if you didn't know is a mix of Underworld and Rise Lara, so, already Unified Lara. Also add in more classic outfits such as the TR2 Bomber Jacket or TRIII Nevada, maybe even her Rise Syria tanktop outfit too as unlockables.

[miserabull]

A very long meta-analysis on P2 Bad Grief

So, I've gone over every dialogue with this guy a few times, and there is some stuff I've never seen addressed before. This is a mix of analyzing and theory that have been in my head for a while, and I’d love to know if it all also makes sense to other people

The thing about Classic and P2 Grief, is that they are very different characters playing the same role. Who is Bad Grief? A thief, a kingpin of the town's criminal underbelly, and a smuggler working for Big Vlad. In P1, he's also a dangerous murderer who kills people for fun, but denies it, even claims that he kicks people out of his gang for daring to take up knives. Dude lies a lot. In fact, he maintains the lie up until the last route, the Changeling's, and then tries that on her too but ends up confessing. This is my very wordy way of saying that while I kinda agree with people who are like "he's not a violent murderer like P1 Grief", P1 Grief also claimed to not be one up to the last minute. I don't think they are making him a sadistic killer this time, yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's a liar, and that there's a darker secret. The game implies Grief keeps his cards close to his chest and there is more to him several times, like here, when you talk with Lara's reflection

Lara's Reflection: You see, she puts her stock in deeds and not in words. So Stakh was always close to her; for he would hear his heart, and act. A trait you share, Burakh.

Haruspex: And the most taciturn of us all, Bad Grief.

Lara's Reflection: He speaks so much yet does so much more.

or when Artemy confronts him at Aspity's Hospice:

Bad Grief: You heard about Rubin? Know why the Kin wants him dead? He's walkin' around all downcast, doesn't sleep. Says not to ask. Says it's safer like that. What's he done, I wonder? I wanted to ask Sahba, but maybe you know?

Haruspex: You're lying. That's not what you wanted to ask. I can tell.

Bad Grief: If I did lie, I wouldn't tell you the truth now anyway, would I? So back off. 

I'm not gonna go over the blowing-the-train tracks quest now, though I have some thoughts on it/what I think might be his plan there. For now it suffices to say that that whole thing is very odd, that his plan doesn't make sense(yeah, blowing up the tracks is a bad idea for his business. kinda meaningless though if the alternative is being hanged). That is to say, I'm pretty sure there's a hidden agenda there that we're probably only finding out in Changeling route.

So, what I mean is, if you think P2 Grief is harmless, or just a clown, or became a gang leader by accident, then, well. I think honey, you got a big storm comin'

A few more notes on Grief's character, and what I think of what we got so far:

-I believe the reflection(I have some thoughts about the nature of those too, actually lmao) is telling the truth, mostly. He is terrified, he doesn't want Artemy to think badly of him, he never wanted violence. P2 Grief is younger, more sympathetic, and very obviously more scared than his P1 counterpart. I don't think he's out there killing for fun. Still, I think he has a lot of blood on his hands anyway.

-I think his loyalty to his friends is sincere. He's kind of really big on companionship and loyalty, which fits, as a gang member. I really think that he wants to belong, to a gang, to a friend group, somewhere. Artemy mentions he's "always been weird" a couple of times, or stuff like "I knew you'd end up like this." and that thing with Lara's reflection... I think Grief was always a little bit on the margins, even in his own friend group, and that's why he made a place for himself as the leader of the misfits, of the people who don't fit what the town considers to be good society. I gotta get on with this because this is gonna be long enough without me rambling about every single thought and feeling I have about this bastard though

-He doesn't give away Stakh's hideout accidentally because he's goofy and dumb. He mentions more or less where it is like, three times. I think it's obvious that he's practically asking Artemy to go check on him, but he doesn't want to be a snitch, so he plays the fool like "Oooh no I gave you a hint, I sure hope you don't go looking for him now, don't ask me because I’d never tell!!". He's playing the clown, he's not that stupid

Okay, now we're getting to the heart of things. In P1, along with the reveal that he's actually a violent murderer who played another violent murderer(Barley) into taking the fall for his crimes, we get something else: he's working under the patronage and protection of Vlad Olgimsky. In P2, they put a lot more emphasis on that, Grief will tell you about it in the first AND second conversation you have. There is even a certain imagery associated with it... actually, allow me a quick digression here, I wanna go over some motifs around Grief. 

Grief is pretty into clockwork and gears, going by his choice of decoration for his Lair. The town itself is compared to a machine several times, by himself, by Big Vlad, and regarding how the Kains view it. I risk to say that the way Grief sees it is rather different from the Kains, at least at first.  For him it seems to be more of a blunt factory machine, while to the Kains...it means something else, more complex. Grief seems to have glimpsed what that is inside the Cathedral, near the end. That reminds me of something else, in the Diurnal End when Grief talks about how he used to be a clocksmith before, and now he's going to be "another kind of clocksmith", I don't think he's necessarily being literal in either case. Curiously, there's also a Clocksmith inside the Cathedral in Marble Nest...but I'm going off topic again

Bad Grief: Not a keeper of stores, but stories. This town, this great machine, the gears don't turn on their own, no, not till they're slick with secrets. 

But so, webs and puppets. We return to Vlad Olgimsky(old), who uses the metaphor of his “web”. There's also an important character in Grief's journey that is strongly associated with (spider)webs and strings, and that's Aglaya. The most notable time Grief himself refers to it though, I think, it's in the Theatre of Death, if you let him die:

“My path was not called 'The Spider'. No, think wider. It was 'The Silkworm'! The end of a railroad, I pulled strings firm; unaware someone more cunning pulled mine upstairs.”

So about that. He’s referring to the PTB right? Probably, but not only. A theme in Patho is like...these layers of manipulation. I’m gonna pass the mic to P1 Clara and Saburov for a second:

Alexander Saburov: Begin with the Olgimskys. That is the most important sin for me, and the least for him, for it is not his fault. So did Olgimsky protect his illicit trade? Did he benefit from it?

Changeling: He didn't just benefit; he presided over it. Grief was his stooge.

Alexander Saburov: Now then, we shall skip the issue of the barber gang, since it's clear now who their true mastermind was... thanks to your courage, my brave girl.

Changeling: Don't skip it just yet. Barley was as much of a puppet in Grief's hands as Grief himself was for Olgimsky. Everyone has their toys.”

Grief is a puppet in Vlad’s hands both in P1 and P2, as there he says he’s Vlads “eyes and ears” in the warehouses. In the Cathedral, he seems to more or less realize the extent of it, and how it goes against what he always wanted in the first place: to not be trapped by anything. 

Bad Grief: I used to be a thief, yet they made me a storekeeper. And what a perfect fit I made! I got my Warehouse kingdom, and with it, the insides of the Town's great machine. I kept Vlad's riches while havin' all I could dream of. Can't imagine a sweeter life.

Funnily enough, by that time he’s trapped in someone else’s web: Aglaya’s. That seems to be his thing, he thought he was in control and playing everyone, knowing all the secrets and pulling strings. In the end, he’s a Silkworm in the web of bigger fish. I mean, spiders.

Bad Grief: ...Yet they, too, are controlled by someone. Insane to think what kind of teeth you need for that.

But okay. Back to the start, I believe Grief has a lot of blood in his hands even before shit breaks loose. The things he seems to be most afraid of are also… interesting. This ties to his connection to Big Vlad, and the Kin.

Grief’s role in the payroll seems to be as a stool pigeon. He knows where everyone goes, what people are talking about, what they don’t want to become public. And he responds to Big Vlad. What I think is, hm, you know, even after Victoria passed it seems like the Kin and the Bull Enterprise never really defied Olgimsky, or had a leader in any way. Grief, too, seems to enjoy a pretty comfortable life for a gang leader. As an important piece to Vlad, he really doesn’t have that much to fear, since the guy “owns everything” and is very explicit to Artemy about how he can destroy anyone who doesn’t obey him. And probably has done that before. My guess is, Grief kept the machine working right by tattling, so no leadership or enemy to Vlad’s Enterprise could rise. I’d speculate that Vlad possibly paid the favor not only financially, but by maintaining Grief in that position. Basically, I think with Grief’s info, Vlad could eliminate any potential problem. That would mean that maybe without even having to shed blood himself there might be a lot of deaths Grief is responsible for, not to speak of the maintenance of that horrible system in the town. I think the route they are going for here is that Grief is a class traitor.

Why do I say that? Well, first let’s look at Grief’s relationship with the Kin: he’s remarkably close to them for a townie. Geographically, obviously, and also in the sense of living on the margins of society, but he also shares many of their superstitions, and seems to hold Aspity’s opinion in high regard(even calls her Sahba). I find it easy to believe that many of his men are part of the community as well, due to not being welcome in the town. At that time we see him in the Hospice though, and talking with the Kin people there, it’s pretty clear that they are planning some sort of uprising. That it’s imminent. Grief seems to know it. Seems to be absolutely terrified of that too, and to feel betrayed by Vlad.

Bad Grief: It's too late for me, Cub. I've only got one road ahead of me now. Perhaps the outbreak is for the best... Plagues are like fires, people forget old scores. And all hell will break loose here soon.

Haruspex: Any dark prophecies to share? You're the criminal mastermind here, after all.

Bad Grief: No need to prophesize. People fear hunger. Even honest workers will turn their hatchets and hammers to crime. Burglin' houses, lootin' corpses, guttin' each other. They will. Oh, they will.

Haruspex: Not all of them, Grief. Not all.

Bad Grief: The turf's so dry, you don't even need a match-a glare would start a fire. And when the Kin bares its teeth, that's when we'll all dance! They're slow on the start, but oh so fast on the draw! The Master likes them mute and obedient, but apathy makes them that way, not stupidity. They're only obedient till the time comes. And here it comes.

And the people who lose their jobs? They won't be too fond of staying home. They'll find new hobbies, like looking for food, or venting their anger. ...And Fat Vlad shut his facilities down the day before yesterday, didn't he? Crafty... Didn't whisper so much as a single word to me. Do you think he knew?

At the same time he seems to think that he deserves this, and it’s inevitable. “We reap what we sow”, paraphrasing him. He talks a few times about how there’s a vile beast inside each person in the town, about how they are all wretched and everything, including him, which I think might just be a way of coping like “yeah, I sold out, but anyone would do the same if they were in my place”. 

So, yeah. What I think is that Grief was a guy that had no power and money, with absolutely no perspective, who due to his very particular skills had an opportunity to climb up and took it(all while still getting to pretend he’s an outlaw, free from the chains of society!). And it’s...very bad. And he knows it’s very bad, and he’s not evil or sadistic, but he’s immature, cowardly, and desperately wants to be in control of his own destiny, and to not be alone, and all that. He’s still Artemy’s childhood buddy, a loyal friend, and someone who never really wanted to cause that much damage. He also knows that what he did is unjustifiable, and that no matter what he truly feels, the damage is done and he’s guilty of horrible shit.

[planetarywho]

Day 7 (Share Your Pride)

Ha! It's adorable that Tumblr thinks I can pick one. I'm bi, sweetie, don't ask me to pick sides.

In any case, here's a shortlist. It took me over 24h to get to this low a number, so be glad it isn't 30 books long. This list is IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER! Most of the books listed are by queer writers.

❤ Amberlough, by Lara Elena Donnely.

This book should be taught in universities. Honestly, anyone who studies WWII, Weimer Germany, or the rise of fascism in general, should read it. It's beautiful speculative fiction, with queer characters that manage to be both incredibly complex while still recognizable as their original archetype. A true masterpiece.

🧡 Wayward Children series, by Seanan McGuire

These books are quality representation at its finest. The first, for example, has an asexual protagonist, a trans love interest, and a wlw best friend, and their identities, like in real life, don't define who they are. The characters are so well written, and the plot grabs you in a way that makes it impossible to put down the book. Every year I choose Every Heart a Doorway as my teenage students' assigned reading, and the discussions after each chapter are awesome.

💛 The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde

Look, this book is a classic for good reason. Wilde is always delightful to read, and somehow managed to write in a way that was both sufficiently sutil to remain in Victorian circles for quite some time, and overt enough for his queerness to be unmistakable. I've been reading The Picture of Dorian Gray every year since I was 12, and it remains my all times favourite book. If you haven't read Wilde yet, get out of Tumblr right now and do so!

💚 Kissing the Witch, by Emma Donoghue

Fairytales are one of the things I love the most. This book is a wlw reimagination of several. Every story recreates a different one, in such a way that they are recognizable but also innovative. Plus, there's a very interesting common thread going through them. Honestly, this one is way too underrated, and deserved a lot more love...

💙 The Girls: Sappho Goes to Hollywood, by Diana McLellan

This book is just so much fun to read. It's the only non-fiction entry on the list, and for good reason: the writing is so entertaining that you can almost forget it's referring to real people. Is the historical ressearch good? Not really. But there's enough verifiable sources to make it not as speculative as you'd expect from a gossip columnist. Finishing this without developing a crush on a least one star from the 1930's is impossible. Also, if you didn't despise the Hays Code before reading this, you will after.

💜 Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett

No list of mine would be complete without a Pratchett book. Through Discworld, PTerry discusses the idea of gender norms many times, with plenty of examples of characters who defy the constraints put upon them by the world (Cheery Littlebottom being the ultimate example). This novel, however, is entirely about women who, for many reasons, put on a male disguise to join an army. The way he treats the nuances in each character's relationship to their gender and its expression are the kind it's hard to find anywhere. Plus, there's a canon lesbian relationship featured, with two women who - gasp! - are not defined only by their sexuality, something of a rarity among male writers. One of my top 3 Discworld books.

🖤 The Drowning Girl, by Caitlín R. Kiernan

Just... So good. Even deciding which genre to classify it as is near impossible: dark fiction? Horror? Fantasy? Mystery? No clue. It follows the perspective of a queer neurodivergent woman, telling the story of the two first times she met someone. The sheer level of details used to make you doubt your perception while reading is amazing. One of the best.

(I would include honorable mentions, but decided not to. Exercising self-control!)

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 66 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 102 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 96 Responses

“Assault” got fantastic reviews from anime watchers, with the majority (93.8%) ranked the episode a 4 or a 5. No one seemed to have negative feelings about the episode this week. 

can't wait for the next

epic

amazing 

BEST

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING ACTION MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 96 Responses

The most favored action moment among anime watchers, at 29.2%, was seeing Eren using Porco’s titan as a nutcracker to defeat Lady Tybur. Following closely behind, at 27.1%, people most enjoyed Armin’s reintroduction as he blew up the harbor with his Colossal atomic blast. 24% most enjoyed seeing Mikasa fillet Porco’s legs, and a small 9.4% felt the most hype when Sasha and Jean helped take the Cart Titan and the Panzer Unit out of the fight. 

armin supremacy

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS MADE YOU FEEL THE MOST EMOTIONAL? 95 Responses

In contrast to the action were the scenes that made us feel some emotions. 25.3% were most emotionally affected at Mikasa’s sorrow watching Eren doing something cruel to another human being. 26.8% felt the most for Armin in this episode as he looks down on the horrific aftermath of his explosion. 12.6% empathized most with Reiner as he made himself wake up despite still wishing to die. The remaining scenes that got people choked up, in order: Finally getting to see Hange again, Porco’s pleas as he’s forced to kill Lara Tybur, Gabi and Falco yelling out for Reiner to save Porco and help them, and Falco pleading with Jean not to kill Pieck. 

Hange <3

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW EERIE DID YOU FIND THIS IMAGE OF THE WAR HAMMER TITAN? 94 Responses

MAPPA drew an eerie shot of the War Hammer Titan near the beginning of the episode as she takes her final blow against Eren. Overall, people seemed to be neutral about the image, though more people found it to be closer to the stuff of nightmares than those who did not.

REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT GABI’S CHARACTER, HER SEIYUU TRULY WENT ALL IN ON HER SCREAMS FOR REINER. ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW BONE CHILLING WAS HER PERFORMANCE? 93 Responses

The majority of anime viewers were taken aback by Gabi’s seiyuu’s performance, with 64.5% ranking it a 4 or 5. A smaller amount (14%) were less impressed by the acting and found the screams more annoying instead. 21.5% were more or less neutral. 

Gaby's scream were... So desperate, so real.... I was chilled to the bones.

SOME FANDOM SPACES SEEM TO BE MORE POSITIVELY RECEPTIVE ABOUT THE CGI IN THIS EPISODE. WHERE DO YOU FALL ON THE SPECTRUM? 94 Responses

Overall, the reception to the CGI this episode has vastly improved over last week. 82% total felt that MAPPA’s use of CGI was a big improvement and that they continue to get better at it. Only 5 people felt more continued disappointment this week.

EREN MENTIONS THAT LARA TYBUR IS CRYSTALLIZED LIKE ANNIE, AND THAT HIS TEETH ARE USELESS AGAINST THAT. DOES THIS MEAN THAT THE SURVEY CORPS HAS TRIED TO HAVE ANNIE EATEN? 93 Responses

In general, respondents didn’t want to make a call either way about whether the Survey Corps has tried to have Annie eaten or not, with 40.9% voting a simple “maybe.” 34.4% believe that Eren’s words insinuated that he has experienced an attempt to eat a crystallized shifter before, while 24.7% feel certain that Annie has been left untouched all this time.

WE SEE EREN TRANSFORM FOR THE THIRD TIME IN A SHORT PERIOD IN THIS EPISODE, A STARK CONTRAST TO THE BEGINNING OF SEASON 3 WHEN HE COULDN’T DO SO WITHOUT HIS TITAN SEVERELY DEPLETING IN STRENGTH. WITH THIS, ALONG WITH HIS ABILITY TO REGENERATE QUICKLY BY HIS OWN WILL, HOW IMPRESSED ARE YOU WITH HIS MUCH IMPROVED ABILITY TO HANDLE HIS TITAN POWER? 92 Responses

Eren has improved vastly in terms of controlling his titan power since the earlier seasons of the anime. 73.9% altogether felt very impressed with his improvement, while 18.5% didn’t think it was any big deal at all.

Eren is such a badass. I am totally proud of him.

ZEKE CRYPTICALLY DECLARED THAT EREN IS “NOT HIS ENEMY.” WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS? 90 Responses

We haven’t had a lot of insight into Zeke’s thoughts and feelings much this season, so hearing him declare Eren as not being his enemy may have taken some by surprise, though he quickly follows this statement up by stating Levi comes first. 34.4% of viewers believe that this was a heartfelt statement and that it has something to do with Zeke telling Eren back in Shiganshina that he was going to save him. 22.2% believe it was a dismissive statement and that Zeke didn’t see Eren as a threat so much as he wanted to deal with getting Levi out of the picture first. 15.6% took this as a signal that Zeke’s loyalties may not be with Marley at all. The remaining respondents have already been spoiled about future plot developments.

WE FINALLY GET TO SEE ARMIN - AND HIS COLOSSAL TITAN! WHICH COLOSSAL TITAN DESIGN DO YOU PREFER? 96 Responses

This episode marks the first time we get to see Armin’s Colossal Titan form, so we asked which design fans prefer between Armin and Bertolt. It came close, though the slight majority think that Armin’s Colossal design is just a bit better than Bertolt’s classic mascot design.

ARMIN ASKS, “ARE THESE THE SIGHTS THAT YOU SAW, BERTOLT?” DO YOU THINK HE HAS SEEN SOME OF BERTOLT’S MEMORIES? 90 Responses

The majority (62.2%) believe Armin’s words prove that he has seen some of Bertolt’s memories over the last few years. 27.8% aren’t sure and simply voted “maybe.” A small 10% feel certain that Armin hasn’t seen any of Bertolt’s memories and can merely only speculate about the horrors Bertolt witnessed as the Colossal Titan.

LEVI TOOK DOWN ZEKE RATHER EASILY. IS ZEKE DEAD? 89 Responses

Just about everyone, aside from those who are already spoiled about future happenings, believe that Zeke went down way too easily for it to be true. 55.1% believe that he has gone completely unscathed from Levi’s attack one way or another. 10.1% believe that he’s at least injured, just not dead. A small handful don’t want to make a call either way and just a tiny sliver of the pie believes that Zeke may actually be dead for real. 

It is a plane

JEAN’S THUNDER SPEAR DOESN’T HIT FALCO AND PIECK. HE QUESTIONS HIMSELF ON WHETHER IT’S BECAUSE OF HIM OR BECAUSE OF THE STEAM PIECK EMITTED. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 89 Responses

We’ve seen Jean struggle to kill another person before, so it’s not surprising to see him struggle with it once again when said person is just a child begging for the carnage to stop. 65.2% of respondents feel that the reason the thunder spear missed was ultimately due to Jean’s hesitation and unwillingness to harm an innocent child. 22.5% believe he had steeled himself to kill Falco but was only thwarted by Pieck’s steam. Some feel unsure about what ultimately affected the outcome, though some write-ins think it’s a combination of both. 

I think it's a combination of both, I think that the steam and his reluctance to kill an innocent child is what caused him to completely miss.

I think both

both

Both?

WHO IS ONYANKOPON? 89 Responses

Hange and Armin were seen in the blimp with a new character named Onyankopon piloting it. But… where did he come from? 43.8% seem to believe that he is someone from another nation that has allied with the Survey Corps. 20.2% suspect that he is originally from Marley but has chosen to switch sides, and only 13.5% think that he’s a Paradis native we’ve never seen before. 

I have no idea!!!

Jesus himself

WHERE DID THE SURVEY CORPS GET THE BLIMP? 89 Responses

Just as much as the new character is a mystery, so is the acquisition of an entire blimp! 30.3% believe that the blimp is something borrowed from an ally nation. 22.5% believe that it is stolen from Marley itself. 15.7% aren’t sure what to speculate, and only 11.2% believe that Paradis managed to figure this one out themselves.

WE SEE EREN’S TITAN SWALLOW THE BLOOD FROM LARA TYBUR. WHAT DO YOU THINK, DID HE SUCCESSFULLY STEAL THE WAR HAMMER TITAN’S POWER? 89 Responses

Nearly half of respondents are confident that Eren succeeded in his task to take the War Hammer Titan from the enemy. 25.8% think he most likely did, but are feeling confused as it’s been previously stated titans only transfer their power via spinal fluid. A small handful suspect there’s a possibility that Porco managed to swallow the necessary component to take the War Hammer instead of letting Eren have it. 

Probably not, the titan that swallowed Eren whole in season 1 didn’t get his powers

%50 eren eat warhammer or %50 porco.

OVERALL, HOW DID IT MAKE YOU FEEL TO SEE EREN DOING SOMETHING SO COLD HEARTED? 90 Responses

Eren as a character has seemed a bit colder since the time skip, so we were curious about how people felt watching him assault Liberio and take out Lara Tybur the way he did. Reception of Eren’s actions is definitely a mixed bag. 27.8% are enjoying this new side of Eren, feeling he’s the “MF’ing GOAT.” 22.2% aren’t really sure how to feel about Eren’s actions yet and may need more context before making a final judgement. 20% just feel sad seeing Eren doing something so horrific, and 16.7% have lost any positive opinion they may have had about Eren at all. 

Love to see Eren being a savage<3

Being given his rationale for his actions makes him a much more compelling character and I appreciate his gray morals more

It made me hate him, the way it felt to watch the Colossal and Armored Titans in Season 1.

Such is life

I think his character development is going in an interesting direction and I'm excited to get a more clear picture of why he's doing this in future episodes

I mean he always seemed to have a steak of evil in him since before. Kid killed people remorselessly, even if it was to save a girl. It was surprising from an audience point of view, but with his character, maybe it shouldn't really be too surprsing.

FALCO MENTIONS THAT PIECK’S BODY CAN’T HEAL FAST ENOUGH. DO YOU THINK SHE’LL MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ALIVE? 89 Responses

Pieck did not have such a good time this episode… Explosive injuries all around. When it comes to her fate in the next episode, a plurality (46.1%) seems to believe she’ll make it out alive, in contrast to 9% who think she’ll perish. Just under a quarter (23.6%) can’t be certain and 21.3% note that they’ve been spoiled already.

WHEN REINER AWAKENS, HIS ARMORED TITAN APPEARS TO TAKE ON A DIFFERENT FORM. THOUGHTS? 93 Responses

Reiner’s so handsome :3 and so is his Titan form this episode. An interesting development! What could it mean? Just under 50% seem to believe it represents how broken his soul is, 19.4% are just like the writer of these text blurbs and think the Titan form is cute. A little over 17% think it’s simply a rather cool structure and finally, a small minority are just yearning for his old form to return.

lol weird combination of reiner and titan i.e. when titan dies he ded

I'm just wondering why it looks so different.

squidward

Handsome squidward lol (I honestly don't have feelings on it either way)

why does it look like that 😭

Meh

Maybe he's weakened? The armors in his arms were also malformed.

DO YOU THINK PORCO WILL DIE NEXT EPISODE? 90 Responses

Porco was not treated well by this episode… Sheesh. Will the next episode do better by him? Well, just under 29% think he won’t die, at least. An equal amount of people believe he will, in fact, perish and were also spoiled about his fate (23.3%). 24.4% simply aren’t sure. Such an even pie chart!

THE NARRATIVE HAS LAID OUT A CLEAR FOUNDATION TO ALLOW THE AUDIENCE TO EMPATHIZE WITH CHARACTERS FROM BOTH SIDES OF THE SPECTRUM. WITH THE DEVELOPMENTS OF THIS ARC, WHICH SIDE OF THE CONFLICT DO YOU FIND YOURSELF EMPATHIZING WITH THE MOST AS A WHOLE? 90 Responses

Sympathy and Empathy for everyone! When it comes to solely empathizing with one half of the cast, the results are rather close! 22.2% find themselves solely (or rather largely) attached to the old Survey Corps, in contrast to 21.1% who happen to solely (or rather largely) be attached to the new-ish Warriors. On the other hand, when mentioning the more “differing” options, 48.9% of responses noted that they find themselves more attached to the SC, while still caring for the Warriors, in contrast to the 7.8% stating the opposite. 

I've grown to love the Warriors throughout this season but watching them get wrecked one by one like that was simply incredible...especially that dumbass Porco, he took the fattest L ever Idk how its possible but every episode gets better than the last one. Bless MAPPA!

Fuck the Warriors

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

It was Fire, finally Levi could take his revenge from zeke

Easily one of the best in the series. Mappa really found their feet with the CGI and it was clearly a mammoth task due to all the different titans and ODM scenes. Everything was so much cleaner this episode. I have not yet been majorly spoiled, so seeing Eren use Porco to kill Lara was literally so energizing, reminded of how I felt when I first watched SnK. Did everything go a little too smoothly for the Survey Corp? Yes. I want to believe our friends will win, but i have my doubts. Im excited to see how this battle will play out because I have know idea where it's heading.

Good god can Eren kill Gabi next she's freaking annoying xD

One of the Panzer Unit's members had  in his cart area thingy.

Gave me what I wanted 

I've never so afraid and sad while watching this series

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 91 Responses

Thank you again to everyone who participated!

[fenharel-archived]

Bless me with your OTP!

i was tagged by @lelibela and @noonvvraith, thank you! :D i’ll tag: @thalasians @bleden-mark @lelianasgf @rkyloren @cataclysmic-shadows @arlathen

Avallac’h & Deithwen - The Witcher

How did they first meet?

Although they had heard about each other before, they didn’t meet until they both qualified to study with the Aen Saevherne. They were both, at least for elven standarts pretty young, and Deithwen approched him while he was outside doing botany sketches, telling him she wanted to work with him and that it would be “beneficial for the both of them if they want to keep up with their tasks” lol. She promptly told him everything that was wrong about his sketches, what he needed to improve on, and that she found out what all the other tasks they had to do that month were. Avallac’h thought she was joking, but he agreed anyway. Imagine two kids, their noses somewhere in the air, way too arrogant (especially for their age) finding someone who actually seems to be able to keep up with the other, shaking their hands à la “hello, fellow nerd” skdjjfhskjdhfksdffgdh

Were they immediately interested / attracted, or did that come later?

No they weren’t interested, not romantically at least. They were “just” Science buddies in their little creep labs for the majority of their time together (~100 years of that before they fell for each other), honestly . Although, they always were drawn to each others minds the sapiosexuals at it again and there was always a part of them who always felt something for the other, they never pursued anything beyond the relationship they already had. Deithwen always thought he was intelligent and charming, but that was just a fact to her, just like it was a fact to him that she was beautiful and capable. It wasn’t until some time after Lara Dorrens death had passed, and they met each other again after a long time of going their own ways, that they saw each other through completely different eyes.

What did they think of each other at first?

Avallac’h thought she was extremely bossy, in fact, it was widely known rumor he heard from a friend at the time that she was extremely bossy and full of herself, and above all: insufferable. And when he first met her he thought: Yep. All true. However, he is way to smart and independent to get bossed around by anyone, and he stayed anyway. No one ever mentioned how capable she was. Or, even though she was impatient and a quick-thinker, how willing to listen and learn. How ambitious and kind and cunning. He respected her for that. Deithwen had watched him for a while before approaching him, she thought he was quite mysterious. He was just Crevan then, but he already lived up to his reputation of “The Fox”, she thought, but the one thing she knew for certain was that he knew what he was doing. Back then all she cared about was knowledge and the elder blood, and she knew they had that in common.

Do they fight often? If so, what is their dynamic like?

They don’t fight often, if at all. Sure, there can be disagreements, but they know each other long enough to know that she isn’t blunt because she wants to hurt him, and that he isn’t mysterious because he doesn’t trust her. Once though, they didn’t talk to each other for a while afterwards, it was nasty. Avallac’h catched her testing his loyality and love to her because she wasn’t sure if he was over Lara. He, after watching this happen for a while, exploded, and she, absolutely not understanding what all this fuss was about, laughed and continued to trample all over his feelings. It was bad, that they didn’t set their home on fire was honestly a surprise to both of them.

What their first kiss is like?

Much more... brazen and passionate than both of them imagined? She waited for him to initiate it, not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but to see if he really wanted her, and then she took over, knocking over wine and food and a paddle of their boat they were on. It was like years and years of pend up emotions washing over them. It took them quite a while for this to happen though, and I’m only talking about the time where they actually courted each other.

Who is the most brutal of the two?

Lmao, I wouldn’t call either of them brutal tbh, at least not in the classical sense? Both of them like the dance, the manipulation, the knive in the back. But Deithwen shows less remorse and can me more hotheaded than Avallac’h tbh, so maybe her.

What would they do if the other was injured in battle?

Panic on the inside, be calm on the outside? Avallac’h already lost someone he loved once, he can’t lose anyone again. And Avallac’h is the only person Deithwen truly loves, and he’s probably the only person that truly loves her, so she’ll set anyone on fire to keep him save.

Who would be most likely to suggest a night of dancing?

Avallac’h...... he’s a romantic at heart

How do their fighting styles complement each other?

They are both strategists, in that sense they are pretty similar. They both like to stand infront of a map and plan, instead of fighting themselves. But when they do, their biggest advantage is that they know each other inside and out, they know what the other is going to do even if they weren’t prepared, so they are still always a step ahead.

Do they want children? Does it frighten them? How many do they want?

It never frightened them, in fact they were incredibly happy when Deithwen found out she was pregnant with their daughter: Elaine. It felt almost like a miracle really, for elves their age getting pregnant at all. Avallac’h always wanted a child, a true sage at heart, he knew his children would be powerful, things changed a bit when he truly fell for Deithwen though, it wasn’t all about the science anymore. Deithwen, although never really dreaming about being a mother, always thought fondly of children. She always liked the idea of passing on everything she had learned and everything she had gained through her successes, like giving it all a deeper meaning.

What happened when they took them home to their families? If their families aren’t in the picture anymore, how do they feel about it?

They are both Sages, respected by everyone, their families couldn’t be happier lmfao. Avallac’h had her family charmed from the beginning beyond that, Deithwen needed a tiny bit more time with his family, they had seen their son heartbroken once, so they were a bit protective at first. lol

How does each person show affection towards the other?

Avallac’h knows all she truly wants is his attention, so that’s exactly what he gives her. He also shows it through acts of services, he has painted her countless of times and he likes to shower her in compliments, and they are never a lie. Deithwen listens, and likes to stroke his hair. Or shower him in gifts. She is also really sensual, at least sensual enough so to be worth mentioning, compared to other Aen Elle their age.

Who cries the most? Who is better at comforting?

They both aren’t criers, both of them being rather private with their true emotions. Avallac’h is generally a bit better at being in control even if they are alone and he is also better at comforting her. He knows by now that she usually just wants to be held, even if it doesn't appear that way. To Deithwen, comforting others was never her strong suit at all and it probably never will be, but she loves him, so she kisses him and strokes his tears away while promising revenge upon whoever or whatever made him upset, because that she knows how to do.

Who is the bigger flirt?

Deithwen. Avallac’h certainly is a flirt, but it’s a bit different with Deithwen, she loves it, she loves the reactions she gets, she loves the way it makes him look at her, she loves whenever she sees that he needs to compose himself because of her and she always uses everything at her disposal.

[positivelyamazonian]

(pt1) I realized Toby Gard wanted Lara to be very hollywood-like. In tr1 Lara was flawless in everything she does. The way she knocks out Larson, overthetop elevator ride, the perfect swan dive when dismounting her bike & always clever with her lines but cuz of tech limitation, it was different back then. This brings me to Legend, who also featured a flawless Lara. Very 'perfect', very 'hollywood'. The only difference was the main focus was Lara herself rather than her adventure and artifacts.

That’s not surprising considering the very first character Toby Gard designed for Tomb Raider wasn’t even a woman, but a male action hero looking like more between Indiana Jones or your regular shooter cowboy. Later he turned this character into a woman, but the concept of a badass action hero remained; and this is a main trope and cliché for any Hollywood-esque plot.

But to be honest it wasn’t just mere show-off on Lara’s character. Toby Gard defined his character as a “babe with brains” defining her in a combination of physical charm and wits, also her lines are so clever and polished and much more meaningful than the void and cliché lines she’s all the time spitting in Legend. Maybe because she didn’t talk that much in the classics, and when she started to talk more, Gard wasn’t anymore there to be found.

To make him justice, tho, I must note that not always Lara acts or looks like a flawless perfect cookie. In the very TR1 she’s outwitted, attacked and disarmed by Natla’s goons and she’s forced to run away and jump to the sea to survive. Later when she makes it to Natla’s goons boat after that perfect swan dive you mention, she’s aware she can’t confront them in that very precise moment and chooses to hide and get some rest in the boat’s cargo zone before even trying to face them. So we have some moments of humanity in this character as well.

Btw I just consulted this article to clarify Gard’s whole role in TR1 - I thought he was just the character designer and animator, but looks like he worked on the FMV too - and I realize whoever wrote this directly LIES when saying

Core gave Gard creative control over the game, although it was clear they wanted to market Lara’s sex appeal, even asking Gard to implement a nude code into the game which he refused to do.[4]

Which is absolutely false since Core Design NEVER wanted to market Lara’s sex appeal and fought directly against Eidos for this, who was the real one wanting to do this; and it was Eidos again which asked in the first place the nude code and it was CORE who refused it. The article cites an interview as source and I’m appalled how people is still lying and spreading misinformation about this. The interview cited as source says exactly:

h0l: Were you amused or appalled at “Nude Raider”? :)

PD: It’s pretty sad. Have you heard the rumour that it was Core that did it? It wouldn’t surprise me in the least. We were actually asked to put something like that in the game by the boss, but flatly refused.

So DESPITE the very interviewed person calls it “a rumour” he doesn’t bother to check up and clarify if this “rumour” and throws the slander at Core, when it was Eidos who did it.

For more information I really advice to read the book L’Histoire de Tomb Raider by Alexandre Serel, who gives pretty detail and unbiased information about the beginnings of Core Design and the people involved in them, particularly Toby Gard and his latter contradictions.

[hayingsang]

What I read last year

Favourite book of 2019 – Robert Fitzgerald’s translation of The Aeneid. I wasn’t prepared for just how exciting this story was. Fantastic from start to end, even when you know what’s going to happen next. I also hugely enjoyed Emily Wilson’s translation of The Odyssey, not least for her excellent introduction and its highlighting of lots of stuff to watch out for (especially all those brutal killings when Odysseus finally makes it home), and Pat Barker’s retelling of the Iliad from the point of view of Briseis, the young woman seized by Achilles to be his bed slave after her city is sacked during the siege of Troy.

Most exciting book – Eve Babitz’s Slow Days, Fast Company, her 1977 account of life in early 1970s Los Angeles. Also perhaps the most “masterly” book I’ve read in a long time – in my experience, most writing involves the writer getting it out there, usually using techniques they’ve built up over time; through SDFC’s collection of tales I felt I was reading what Babitz had decided was most appropriate for her readers to know. Extraordinary control. Loved it.

I would pair that with Patti Smith’s Just Kids, about her and Robert Mapplethorpe making themselves into artists in the very late 1960s/early 1970s New York – which feels like the total opposite of Babitz, ie Smith telling it how it was. Not particularly caring for her music – I loathed Horses as a 16-year-old – I was surprised how much I enjoyed/learned from her account of her life after she left home, struggling first to get by, then to make art, all as part of what was clearly a very special relationship.

Lara Alcock’s Mathematics Rebooted was my biggest learning experience – a wonderful journey through the elements of mathematics, beginning each chapter with something basic then taking it up past the point where most non-mathematician readers would fall off to something beyond. Every chapter I both learned something and found out what there was yet to learn.

As in 2018, I read four books in Chinese. Actually, two in “standard” Chinese and two in Cantonese. The Cantonese ones were a treat – a translation of The Little Prince and 香港語文: 聽陳蕾士嘅秘密, a collection of 20 Chinese essays and one Chinese poem translated into Cantonese. Who says it’s not a language of its own? Not the four writers who did the translations. The two others, a collection of essays from the early to mid 2000s by Chan Koonchung and a book-format edition of Being Hong Kong about various Hong Kong things (City Hall at 50, some food stuff, some Cantonese opera stuff, etc) were also worthwhile. Neither quite merit being translated into English, but both give a flavour of the things that exercise people in Hong Kong (or Chan’s case, of the things which exercised them in the early 2000s – a much more gentle set of concerns than those that bother them now).

Among the novels, Manjushree Thapa’s The Tutor of History was a standout. Set in the 1990s Nepal, it pulled off an astonishing feat of describing from scratch a society which most of us will never know. Sheila Heti’s Motherhood, a meditation mostly about whether to have a child or not, was also excellent in catching the feel of a person at a very specific and important juncture of her life.

Timothy Morton was an important discovery, especially Humankind. He tackles the question of what does it mean to be living now – in the Anthropocene, at a time when human beings are destroying many other living things and doing huge damage to much non-living stuff and comes up with some new answers – that maybe we have to take ourselves both more seriously and see ourselves as of rather less importance than we might like to think, especially when it comes to all those other living and non-things and stuff. Kind of practical in a bizarre way.

Walter Scheidel’s The Great Leveler and Francis Fukuyama’s Political Order and Political Decay are two tremendous overviews of where our societies have come from. Scheidel’s argument that throughout history, peace and economic growth have always led to ever-widening inequality poses a big challenge to the world. Fukuyama’s suggestion, continuing from The Origins of Political Order, that countries should build institutions before adding democracy points to another conclusion that merits serious thought.

Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit was my motivational book of the year. I would imagine it would be useful for anyone who has to come up with ideas and carry them through to completion.

Finally, Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish’s Siblings Without Rivalry is a terrific book about what to do when your children say they want each other to die. Like the one other great book about raising children I’ve read – Ross Gree’s The Explosive Child – it’s not about what you should get your children to do, it’s about what you should do. Gree’s single greatest point – one I think I took to heart – is that when there’s one angry person in the room, try not to make it two. Faber & Mazlish’s is don’t try to solve the problem yourself, just try and get those children to say (or even better write down) what’s bothering them about their brother/sister. Once that’s out in the open, they may even figure out what to do about it themselves. We tried it and – trust me – it worked.

The complete list

JR McNeill & Peter Engelke, The Great Acceleration

Frank Pieke, Knowing China

Daniel Pink, A Whole New Mind

Susan Cain, Quiet

Ray Dalio, Principles

Lara Alcock, Mathematics Rebooted

Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost

Leo Goodstadt, A City Mismanaged

Timothy Morton, Being Ecological

Pat Barker, The Ghost Road

Martin Rees, Our Final Hour

Tyler Cowen, Stubborn Attachments

Timothy Morton, The Ecological Thought

Manjushree Thapa, The Tutor of History

John McPhee, Draft No. 4

Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, Siblings Without Rivalry

Dante, The Divine Comedy

Lionel Shriver, We Need to Talk About Kevin

Joyce Carol Oates, Carthage

Zadie Smith, White Teeth

Xi Xi, My City

Eve Babitz, Slow Days, Fast Company

Various, Being HK

Nigel Collett, A Death in Hong Kong

Xi Xi, A Girl Like Me

Virgil, The Aeneid

James Scott, Against the Grain

Karl Popper, All Life Is Problem Solving

Ursula Le Guin, The Tombs of Atuan

Ursula Le Guin, No Time to Spare

Twyla Tharp, The Creative Habit

Franklin Foer, World Without Mind

Ursula Le Guin, The Left Hand of Darkness

Confucius/Simon Leys, The Analects of Confucius

Sheila Heti, Motherhood

Bill Burnett & Dave Evans, Designing Your Life

Ian Stewart, Nature’s Numbers

Mike Michalowicz, Clockwork

Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch

Matthew Walker, Why We Sleep

Rebecca Solnit, Hope in the Dark

Philip K Dick, Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said

Peter Adamson, Classical Philosophy

Machiavelli, The Prince

Mary Clarke & Clement Crisp, How to Enjoy Ballet

Cas Mudde & Cristóbal Rovira Kaltwasser, Populism

Charles Lindblom, The Market System

AL Kennedy, Looking for the Possible Dance

Mario Vargas Llosa, The Bad Girl

Shen Fu, Six Records of a Floating Life

Han Kang, The Vegetarian

Mikel Dunham, Buddha’s Warriors

Yoko Ogawa, Hotel Iris

Elaine Feinstein, It Goes With the Territory

Homer/Emily Wilson, The Odyssey

Richard McGregor, Xi Jinping: The Backlash

Shiona Airlie, Scottish Mandarin

Jeannette Ng, Under the Pendulum Sky

Otessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

陳冠中, 我這一代香港人

Muriel Spark, Reality and Dreams

Muriel Spark, The Driver’s Seat

Mary Beard, Women and Power

Lauren Groff, Fates and Furies

Carlo Rovelli, Seven Brief Lessons on Physics

Anne Carson, The Beauty of the Husband

Francis Fukuyama, Political Order and Political Decay

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, 小王子 (The Little Prince in Cantonese)

Pat Barker, The Silence of the Girls

Joan Didion, The Last Thing He Wanted

Walter Scheidel, The Great Leveler

Shoshana Zuboff, The Age of Surveillance Capitalism

Hannah Arendt, Eichmann in Jerusalem

Svetlana Alexievich, The Unwomanly Face of War

Marguerite Duras, Blue Eyes, Black Hair

Karl Polanyi, The Great Transformation

Chuang Tsu, The Book of Chuang Tsu

Cathleen Schine, The Weissmans of Westport

Patti Smith, Just Kids

Timothy Morton, Humankind

Various, 香港語文: 聽陳蕾士嘅秘密

Edna O’Brien, Time and Tide

[psychedelicsaber]

So I just binged through most of your blog, because I love neglecting my adult responsibilities. I wanted to ask, what's your opinion on Legend timeline Lara? To me she's like a more fleshed out classic Lara (I dislike the family issues part of her tho). She's efficent, elegant. While classic Lara is a borderline villain in the games, murdering her way through anything to get what she wants (which is fun but actually scary). In short, I can imagine having tea with Legend Lara and not be scared.

I tend to ramble too much as well, don’t worry about it~ ;)

First off thank you for spending your adult time to browse my messy blog :D

Second off, I don’t know if it’s fair to judge something I haven’t played…well at least not finish it anyway. Played Legend for about half an hour and I just couldn’t bring myself to continue any further because reasons. I really did try to like it but it was just not for me. Same thing happened when I was playing Anniversary but I do like the ambience. I did finished Underworld and to my knowledge, was known as the worse of the trilogy to most people but oddly enough the one I enjoyed the most out of the three.

My opinion on LAUra, hmm that’s a tough one. I haven’t thought about it in a while. She’s efficient. Sure, she’s always geared up for any situation, I agree. She’s elegant, umm I’d say that’s more subjective. (In a technical sense) Her movements are rather wonky to me, especially the way she runs/walks and how spastic the animations are. She’s agile and acrobatic especially in Underworld which I happily welcome the practical move sets but how they sped up the animations that made her less ‘elegant’.

Legend Lara specifically, they made her into somewhat of a hollywood character rather than a comic book character like she was in the classics, if that makes sense.

In terms of character, I find it very odd that she would lose control of herself and start screaming her head off at her ‘friend’ while pointing a loaded gun at her.

WHERE!!! *BANG* IS!!! *BANG* MY!! *BANG* MOTHEEEERR??!!!!

Completely out of character. Throughout the game she was calm, making snarky remarks about things happening around her and such, all of the sudden. BAAAMMM!!! WHERE ME MUM AT????!!!!?!?!!?

They wanted the players to sympathize with Lara by putting these traumatic events as her driven force to justify what she does to make her more 'human’ as opposed to just pure unfiltered ’shooting everything in the face while jumping 10 feet into the air without a care in the world’ fun. At the end of the day they tried to make Legend Lara look like a hero, a Legend! as the title says which was weird because I always see Lara as more of an anti-hero who loves to steal things…it’s in the name 'raiding tombs’ lol. Her alternate title would probably be Grave Digger haha.

Granted classic Lara was murdering her way to get what she wanted but isn’t Legend Lara too? I mean, she massacred hundreds of human enemies. HUMAN BEINGS!!! and she wants to talk about her feelings? Come on. Don’t be like that. I get that she was traumatized in Anniversary but like this is the problem I have with trying to humanize a character that murders everything on a daily basis. It was a major problem in the 2013 reboot series as well.

To be frank, I’m sort of indifferent towards LAUra, even Underworld Lara was rather unlikable. She went from okay in Legend to 'meh’ in Anniversary to 'wow what a bitch she is’ in Underworld. I honestly enjoy Underworld because it’s the closest thing to the classic tomb raider in terms of gameplay but Lara, she was just mean and have anger issues. Now I’m not saying classic Lara was in a zen state at all times but she was portrayed as 'IDGAF’ in a humourous way which was part of her charm. Crystal Dynamics solely depended on serious and overly dramatic tone. You gotta have some comedic relief sometimes which sadly the humour decline from Legend to Underworld.

I don’t know if that answers your question or not but that’s my opinion on the LAU trilogy Lara. All of the three felt differently but I can say this, LAUra is a vengeful person…and determined for sure.

I didn’t think of Lara as much when I played the classics back when I was a kid. Even now I hardly think of her when I replay the game. Most of the time it’s usually just me tagging along with Lara and her adventure while she does her thing (even if I’m the one controlling her every moves). I didn’t really have to indulge myself in her feelings and sobbing facial expressions to be in her world, that’s why atmosphere in gameplay exists. Unfortunately for me, they turned the spotlight from gameplay to the main character and made everything else pretty much a white noise.

…yes Reyes. It’s her story after all…

tldr; What’s my opinion on LAUra - I’m generally neutral about it. It’s whatever.

[everydayanth]

22 July Film...

So I watched the Netflix movie last night, and I have a few thoughts.  

Warning: This turned into a personal rant with some anthropology-thoughts thrown in. TL;DR: I think this is an important example of the kinds of stories we need, and the debate about the representation of the terrorist on-screen as an ethical one seems to me a moot point.

Second warning: SPOILERS (kinda, vague ones)

I would love to see the Norwegian Utøya - 22 Juli (U- July 22) and do a better comparison of the perspectives. Both films were released in 2018, one by Norwegian director Erik Poppe, the other by English director Paul Greengrass. But that’s for later... after I’ve recovered a bit lol.  

Culture is an interesting thing, and so many of the critiques and comparisons of these films involve the ethical question of portraying a terror event and a terrorist him/herself as a story, or on screen at all. 

This was interesting to me, because the intended audiences for each film seemed to be so diverse, one was telling the world of the event, while the other (I have not seen it, so I can’t confirm) seems to be giving Norway an art piece preserving and telling the story of the event to the people who know it and need little context - cultural or otherwise. 

Terror and disaster are culture shaping and defining. How we respond, how we react, the consequences and the way we tell the story, they are all revealing. And how/why we portray them to ourselves and as outsiders is also revealing.

If this film did one thing perfectly, in my opinion, it was the portrayal of PTSD and the sudden and immediate flashbacks, often sounds, that don’t go away, the isolation and exhaustion that they cause, and the feeling that vulnerability is a weakness you can’t afford. I’m speaking from experience that I’m not ready to elaborate on here, those things are powerful and extremely misunderstood and misrepresented in American culture. PTSD is often used as a MacGuffin, a simple plot device that causes chaos or explains some rash and nonsensical choice, and is often reserved for stories about soldiers returning from war (thanks Hemingway), but sorely left out of conversations about rape, or abuse, or bombings, or terror attacks or any other trauma we go through (then again... so is the representation of those stories). 

It was so hard for me to watch, and I had to fast forward through a few parts, I didn’t sleep because of my own triggers and whatnot, but looking at it from what I would consider an “average” perspective, of people who haven’t witnessed or experienced something so traumatic, it puts viewers in a position they are forced to empathize with. And I think that is a valuable and powerful cultural perspective. 

How did human empathy get tied in with a connotation of weakness? This film challenges that cultural assumption, it asks us to consider: how did emotion and fear become synonymous with coward? How did we twist the world so that victims become responsible and personal forgiveness is a sin?

Maybe I pulled more questions from the film because of my personal experience, relating or overcoming my own challenges - it was something of a challenge to push play and it sat on pause for nearly an hour after the first 20 minutes. The film doesn’t give you answers, but it does seem to provide a safe place for asking questions as our primary protagonist, Viljar, learns to cope. We, the audience, are, if we allow ourselves to be, challenged with an unspoken question: have you chosen to live? Have you chosen hope? Or are you angry all the time, are you defeated and nihilistic, are you passive and apathetic, do you want to ignore and run away and hide in fear? Have you taken steps forward to face your life and made a conscious decision to live it lately?

And that was hard for me to hear because it’s what I’ve been working on, on living consciously and making choices consciously and forming thoughts and opinions and understanding my own values, and not living in my head where everyone else is more right, more valid, more everything; where I dismiss myself and my experiences because of what they are. I’m still working on coming to terms with a lot of things, Jake divides it between acknowledgement, acceptance, and growth or adaption. 

I’ve acknowledged the things that happened, [SPOILERS] and I think that’s what Viljar does on the snowmobile. I’ve accepted the things that happened as beyond my control, I think that’s what Viljar does by deciding to appear in court, what his father does by encouraging him, and what his mother does by... well, personally I think she does this when he tells her to win the campaign for mayor, she decides then to carry on and try her best to reassure them and fight with her boys, not for them (the younger brother could have used a bit more character, but I get it). And then, for me, I’m struggling with the adaption, and we see Viljar struggle, constantly: physically, emotionally, mentally, it is his speech that tells us the truth - he is going to keep struggling, but he is ready to adapt to that, to grow from it, to choose to be vulnerable and depend on his friends and family, to reach out to them and to try, to understand himself and how this event has impacted him so that he can continue to live a life he values. 

This is where I, and I think a lot of people, get stuck, and why I think this film had to feature the terrorist, though I do understand the ethical fears of giving a terrorist a platform by featuring them. But this was a real event, and by giving the guy a face and a story, we see how it juxtaposes Viljar’s growth, how the terrorist did not grow or learn from his fears or struggles, how he isolated himself and what that intentional ignorance does to a person. If we do not grow from our trauma, if we do not adapt to the ways it has impacted us, like in Viljar’s speech, how he acknowledges that he pulled away from his family and friends, he avoided Lara’s calls for weeks, but he’s ready to understand that he is different now, and that’s okay.

We tend to leave this out of our stories in America, and probably other places as well. We end with the happily ever after when the physical body is saved and we rarely go into details about the mental or emotional journey that is yet to start. We can perceive it in films, we can write tumblr posts about Tony Stark’s PTSD and Steve Rogers’ issues, we can transpose ourselves onto these characters, which makes them so universal, but we do not see them specifically address or combat these problems. We do not see Captain America lamenting a world he knew or the confusion and trauma that would result from such a drastic transition, we do not see the Hulk’s loss of identity plague him as anything more than a good one-liner (okay, this one is a bit more debatable). These are good films, and they have limitations they have to work with - source material, fandoms, broader story archs, time limits, etc. But the mental health journey is nearly always left to subtext at best. 

Of course we struggle to understand our mental health in context in America, our stories don’t remind us of the importance of responsible emotion, of the pains of growing that last our whole lives, they don’t tell us about our changing identities as adults, or give us the tools to cope or find help after trauma. There are always exceptions, obviously, but collectively, they seem few and far between. But when they do happen, they stick around for a long time, like Christmas classics It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th St. that look at adult growth and development from the primary struggle. Then there are your intentional dives into mental health, diversity, and trauma like, A Beautiful Mind, Good Will Hunting, Rain Man, Room, Charlie Bartlett (a personal favorite, oh, also Gran Torino imo), even The Breakfast Club. 

I think we want stories that teach us how other people get through trauma, so we can learn from them, see ourselves reflected, and grow and adapt to our new identities after something has happened to us. We want to deal with difficult subjects, but to do that, we’re going to have to start talking about personal ethics and consumer responsibility more and more. We can’t dismiss that as classroom conversation or over-analysis or invalid. We’re going to make bad stories, and we’re going to mess up, but at least there will be more variety and we won’t just be repeating the same shallow stories that end as soon as the physical person is in a physical or economically stable place, occasionally a romantically stable one too. 

To encourage directors to look at mental health and tell new stories, we have to support them when they do. We have to watch and then discuss. We can’t just write it off as inherently right or wrong, because our worldviews are so different. People like that terrorist exist in the world, and ignoring it and not representing that social fear in our media does not even attempt to acknowledge the problem. Trauma hurts us and we’re often told to put some pretty tape around our cracked and broken selves and make do. We teeter through life fearing exposure, anxious, depressed, hidden, and we just keep cutting ourselves on all our jagged pieces. 

But films like this say it’s okay to be broken, it’s okay for Lara and his brother to feel the same as Viljar, even if they weren’t shot, it’s okay for them to face their fears in different ways and to be patient and understanding with themselves as they fit all those cracks back together and learn what they can do to glue them and sand them and make themselves whole again. It’s okay for the parents to struggle, to feel inadequate, terrified, and consumed by guilt and fear, and then to grow and gather strength from their own children and learn to be stronger together. 

We have this independent mindset, that to overcome by yourself is stronger, the lone wolf is the awesome badass, but we know, even our stories know, that we require teams. Even the Avengers need each other (getting into Civil War territory here lol). Our YA masterpieces teach us about the power of friendship and teamwork in developing our identities and overcoming pain and trauma. But we still walk around jaded and in pain, we don’t know how to talk or listen to each other, and we get frustrated and angry when others begin to talk about their vulnerabilities. 

But work like this, it gives us an opportunity to understand what we might not have the experience to relate to, it gives us the ability to be empathetic to something we may not be able to completely comprehend. It tells us that it’s okay to hurt, and it shows us that we can still grow, if we so choose, and that the choice we make is what we control. And we get so overwhelmed by our choices these days, there are so many, and yet so few. I think it’s hard for us to remember to choose to grow and reflect and redefine ourselves at all, hard to find the time to even consider our options. But it’s the most important choice we make every day. It defines who we are and we spend so much of our lives ignoring it or building a protective wall around it. 

This was not a perfect film, but it offered perspective in-context and I think it did justice to the trauma, and the resilience and growth required to overcome it, to choose to have hope. And I don’t think it could have done that without also showing us how easy it is to give up and assume we are right, like the terrorist, to assume we know best and can fix the world ourselves with our own walls firmly planted between us and our own identities. 

This film needed an antithesis to prove it’s point, for the same reason The Silence of the Lambs requires a Hannibal Lecter (and, like the greatly respected Anthony Hopkins, the actor, Anders Danielsen Lie, who played the terrorist, is an accomplished and greatly respected Norwegian actor, and that seemed important to me; this was not an opportunity for a new actor, this was an experienced artist telling the dark side of the story). 

We need filmmakers and story tellers to break rules so that we can all adapt and grow as a society. We need to start telling our stories and stop repeating our own folktales and bedtime stories over and over again. They lead us to sweet dreams, but they forget to help us learn how to stay asleep, and how to wake up, determined to live each day. 

We do not need to simply exist, and while existential crises are frickin’ impossible (there’s that personal experience again), and seem to be a massive current social problem, maybe they are not the cause of our lack-of-hope endings and false identities and fake happiness, but rather the result of a society that doesn’t allow itself to be broken, and therefore doesn’t allow itself to grow. 

You’re allowed to fail. You’re allowed to be wrong. You’re allowed to mess up and make mistakes and hurt the people you love. You’re allowed to be hurt and vulnerable in your life. 

And when you’re allowed to be these things, you’re allowed to be forgiven and grow from them, instead of hoarding all your broken pieces where they cut you over and over, or only revealing them to anonymous Tumblr netizens. You are not a static object, you are not made of stone that can only be cutaway, you are human, and flesh grows back. You can grow back. And I try to tell myself these things every day, to step into the world knowing it will hurt, but that I will grow back. 

Viljar has a hard time facing Lara, he doesn’t call her back, but when he meets her before the trial, she forgives him, and because of that allowance to grow, she is able to be persistent and keep being his friend, and he is able to be vulnerable and strong, which translates into his acceptance of help. We need art to tell us that it’s okay to be human, and to stop comparing us to these things that are supposed to be better than us - aliens, superpowers, mutants, super-spies, the wealthy elite, etc. 

And I think we need to focus on more than just romantic relationships, we need parents and friends and siblings and teachers and idols and well, more diverse romances; our stories reflect our values, and if this were a “Hollywood film,” I don’t think it would have done the story justice or let its audience come to its own conclusions. What does that say about us? Do we not give ourselves enough credit? Or do we intentionally misinterpret art that challenges our perceptions of reality, like trauma and relationships and other personal ethics because we find it offensive? Can we even hold others accountable for what offends us? Is there a line there involving accuracy and representation and culture, or is it all subjective?

I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking about all this while I spent all night and morning not-sleeping. So I thought I’d just get it out there where it can float for a while. I thought it was a good film, because it was a good story, and it was a good story because it focused on that elusive symptom of trauma, that nihilistic existential identity that refuses to reform. And because that is the story I am living right now, that is the story I needed to hear. Because we are social learners, like all primates, and if Viljar can choose to live and be vulnerable and strong, then maybe I can do it too. 

This turned into a personal rant more than a review... whoops. But I don’t have context enough to compare the film, I think I would have to see the Norwegian-made one (though the cast and setting were still Norwegian in this one), to really compare, and look at what happened in real life, how the world reacted to that event, and basically do a full lit-review to get an understanding of whether this film was accurate or if its portrayal was “good.” But then I would have to define good, and we all know where that will lead. 

So in my opinion, we need more stories about tragedy that don’t end with the acceptance of others, but the acceptance, acknowledgement, and reformation of self. And this movie followed that whole story, or at least, I think it did, and I appreciate it for that. 

[themadnessthatis]

So, Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness...

Warning, this is going to be a long-ass post, mostly me rambling about how TR6 was a game with good concepts but shitty execution. Expect a bit of non-linear ranting.

I have some serious Opinions™ on this game, now having finished it (which was a quasi-Herculean feat in of itself from fighting against the game the whole time, but more on that in a bit).

When I first got this game, eyes full of wonder and amazement, I was like “aw yeah, a new Tomb Raider for a new generation of consoles!”. Having only played it for a bit my opinion quickly soured, and the game was never played after having fallen down a hole and dying in the Parisian sewers. All I said to myself at the time was “wow, this game is shit,never playing this again :| .”

Which I didn’t, until recently.

Fast forward a bit, and a friend of mine lends me her PC copies of Tomb Raider 2-through-6 (sadly no copy of TR1  :’[ ), which I sat down and played, all while eyeing up the box containing AoD with animosity. Boy did I regret saying I wouldn’t mind if she lent me that one as well.

But after going through the other games with various degrees of ease, from the “wow it’s over already?” of Chronicles to the “Will it never end?” of TR3 (which I personally rate as the worst of the “old school” Tomb Raiders. Just....fuck that game, the best part of it is the credits, but I digress.), we were left with just one more game; Angel of Darkness, sitting there, almost expectantly.

“Well, it’s been a while, maybe I was just bad at the game, and it’s actually alright?” I said as I set about installing it, ready to give the game the benefit of the doubt.

Well the fact that controller setup was a pain in the arse should’ve been a dead giveaway that something was up. Though is was nowhere near as infuriating as Chronicles, which required a fucking JoyToKey configuration to get it to work smoothly, otherwise jumps would result in Lara just careening off to the side every.fucking.time.)

Actually, when you first play AoD, the controls are really the first thing you’ll pick up on. I.E: they’re the worst. Really they’re the biggest flaw of this whole game, and if they weren’t as clunky and gods-awful as they are, AoD might’ve been a much better experience. Lara controls like a fucking Mark IV from 1917; turns, speed, everything. It’s such a jarring shift from the previous installments that it really takes some time getting used to, and could be a reall deal-breaker. Also Lara no longer runs like she used to, more like a slow jog, only gaining the ability to sprint later in the game (you know, the thing she could do at the very beginning of TR3, 4 and 5? Like she has to learn how to use her legs, after all of her previous escapades?!). Jumping also seems to have undergone some hideous transformation; from somewhat fluid sequences to an absolutely jerky mess of a mechanic, not helped by Lara needing some space to build up momentum (from walk to jog). Like the only time she handles almost smoothly is when she’s swimming (which thank fuck no longer has her getting stuck on the walls and floor like she did in previous games.).

When you’re not busy fighting against the controls and some of the early Capcom-esque fixed camera angles, you might be able to notice some of the changes to the TR formula, for better or for worse.

Perhaps the most noticeable is Lara’s equipment; gone are her iconic (not Ubisoft iconic, mind you) pistols with unlimited ammo. In their place Lara can collect a plethora of new pistols, including a very nice taser. Though this is moot when Lara eventually loses all of her acquired weapons, as she is wont to do if TR1, 2 and 3 are anything to go by. You also get the classic shotgun and two SMGs. Though tbh, and this might just be me, but don’t all of the weapons in this game feel like the do the same amount of damage?

One thing that was a nice touch was the inventory revamp. The ring-like setup from previous TRs is gone, and now each type of item (health, weapons and puzzle clues) have their own inventory sections, making it less of an eyesore than the cluttered messes of the previous game’s inventories. Speaking of health, the repertoire of healing items has been increased, with various items granting various degrees of health restoration, which is nice, no more wasting medikits (though i do not understand how a chocolate bar could heal a person, but whatever, video game logic, i guess.). The puzzle clues section does get kinda cluttered though, as Lara doesn’t seem to want to get rid of anything she picks up, even if she no longer needs it, so her pockets are basically just full of security cards and bits of paper until the end of the game like JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK JUST DUMP THAT SHIT IN A BIN, LARA!”.

On the subject of puzzles, it’s great that that is an element that has carried over to AoD nicely, unlike some of the more modern titles (looking at you, Tomb Raider 2013). The Hall of Seasons was a great example of this, and is very reminiscent of the St Francis’ Folly from the original games, what with its God-themed rooms. Granted that there were other “puzzles” that were a little too obvious, like “push table to find mixture to kill giant plant”. But overall,  the puzzle side of Tomb Raider is definitely there. Although, there are no secrets to find (but after TR3 and 4′s “And your reward is FLARES” bullshit, I’m okay with that).

So, what about the story? To be perfectly honest, it’s as about as normal as a Tomb Raider story line can be: Secret sect looking for paintings so they can resurrect an ancient race of human/angel hybrids that was destroyed back in biblical times except not all of them, and Lara gets involved b/c they killed Von Croy and she was framed for it... Look, it’s certainly not as far-fetched as “Italian mafia dude looking for magic Chinese knife that turns people into dragons instead of corpses when stabbed with it.” (Love you, TR2, but what even...), or whatever the hell was going on in TR3 with its magical ancient Polynesian artifacts and “rapid evolution”, but it’s out there.

Mechanics wise, there have been some changes that are quite nice in concept, but are failed by poor execution (a running theme for this game). The grip meter is a new thing, and is influenced by Lara’s upper body strength (like how her jumping/sprinting and door-kicking are affected by her lower body strength), like a sort of RPG attribute. These body strength factors are a nice tough and could’ve been a plus in a good game, but here the attributes are given out at arbitrary moments throughout the game and feel forced, like at one moment Lara must gain an upper body strength upgrade by just shunting a pile of boxes around for no real reason. When you couple this with the sluggish momentum-based “running”, it’s almost like the developers were trying to go for a more “realistic” feel but didn’t really know how to go about it.

There’s also a certain Bioware-esque dialogue tree that pops up from time to time in the game. While it’s a nice touch, the fact that there’s no real change to the outcome (bar 3 exceptions) kind of makes the interactions pointless.

Going past the mechanics, the game itself (at least on PC), is a glitchy, buggy mess that would crash for no reason. Textures are missing, walls vanish in some of Kurtis’ (a boring, bland secondary character we get to play as, and I’ll get to him in a second.) levels for no reason, not to mention that one level can be skipped entirely thanks to a bug where Lara just has to roll into a fucking wall. Also, not certain if it’s more an exploit than it is a bug, but it’s kinda of an anticlimax that the last two bosses can be cheesed by just commando-crawling under their projectiles. The greatest menaces to humanity, outdone by toddler maneuvers .

Now, onto Kurtis...Kurtis is a member of an organisation dedicated to stomping out evil, particularly sorcery and alchemy (thus pitting him against the big baddie, Eckhardt, who looks like he just got done trying to audition for the part of Auron from Final Fantasy). He’s supposed to come across as some sort of bad boy with magical powers, but honestly he’s a boring, ugly, fucking Broody McGravelvoice with no personality. You get to play as him for all of 3 (or was it 4?) levels, and boy oh boy, you will hat him throughout all of them. Somehow, and I didn’t know it was possible, somehow he controls WORSE than Lara. He moves like he’s got a broom up his arse and jumps like he’s on the fucking moon. His levels feel like they were  some De-mastered edition of Until Dawn, full of enemies that serve no purpose other than to drain you of resources, and are capped off with the worst boss fight ever, thanks to twitchy auto-aim and Kurtis’ shoddy controls. Like fucking Mark Williard at  the end of TR3 was more feasible than this cavalcade of bullshit. Also the first time he meets Lara in the Louvre, the cut-scene is just so unsettling and creepy, she should’ve just beat his arse into the tiled floor there and then. I seriously hope he’s dead.

And the ending... What a bloody disappointment; Lara wanders off into a dark passage after killing the bigger bad, and then...nothing. No credits, no “the end” screen, the game just shits you back onto the “Press Start” screen.

But in the end, after all was said and done, I think my opinion of AoD has shifted somewhat. I don’t hate it like I thought I did, I’m just, I dunno, disappointed...This game had so many good ideas that were handled so poorly, and it certainly wasn’t helped that, at least on the PC version, it was a glitch-fest and the controls were piss-poor. And as a final insult? Jiggle physics. I’m not fucking kidding like Core Design  couldn’t iron out the bugs and do something about the arse-backwards controls, but they gotta make sure dem jiggly titties are in there? -_-’ Fucking hell what a dumpster fire of a game. Like I want to like it but the fuck-headedness of it all just, just no. 

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Lara Croft's Biography

This is my attempt at consolidating Core Design's two biographies for Lara Croft as well as Crystal Dynamics' revised version for Legend into one, cohesive background story that includes all key events from her past adventures. Certain elements of the first nine games and their backstories are bound to be included in the new, unified timeline so any Reboot fans that are not as familiar with Classic Lara may find this interesting to read :) Hope you like it!

Name: Lara Croft

Nationality: British

Date of Birth: 14 February 1968

Birthplace: Wimbledon, London

Marital Status: Single

Blood Group: AB-

Height: 1,75m

Weight: 58 kg

Hair Colour: Brunnette

Eye Colour: Brown

Distinguishing Features: 9mm Handguns

Bio

Lady Lara Croft is an 11th generation Countess. The Croft family was granted the title and rights to Abbingdon, Surrey by King Edward VI in 1547. The Croft Estates are comprised of three separate manor houses, two of which are maintained by the National Trust, and the third is home to Lady Croft.

Lady Croft herself has suffered several personal tragedies, including the deaths of both parents on separate occasions before she came of age. Reputably an accredited genius and Olympic-standard gymnast, Lady Croft is the focus of wild speculation and intense debate in both the scientific and political communities in addition to the popular press. Idealized and vilified in equal measure, she is perhaps one of the most fascinating and enigmatic figures of our time.

Lara Croft was born in Surrey's Parkside hospital on the 14th of February in 1968 to Lady Amelia Croft and the notorious archeologist Lord Richard Croft, the late Earl of Abbingdon. She was raised to be an aristocrat from birth, and had lived in luxury and security aloof from the world at large. Between the ages of three and six, she attended the Abbingdon Girls School, where it quickly became clear that she was an exceptionally gifted child.

At the age of nine she survived a plane crash in the Himalayas that took the life of her mother. In perhaps the first story of her prodigious indomitability, she somehow survived a solo ten-day trek across the Himalayan mountains, one of the most hostile environments on the planet. The story goes that when she arrived in Katmandu she went to the nearest bar and made a polite telephone call to her father asking if it would be convenient for him to come and pick her up.

For six years following the plane crash, Lara rarely left her father's side, traveling around the world from one archeological dig site to another. During this period she was ostensibly given a standard education from private tutors, but it would probably be more accurate to say she was her father's full time apprentice.

When Lara was fifteen, her father went missing in Cambodia. Extensive searches by the authorities and Lara herself turned up human remains that could not definitively be identified. Since Lord Croft's body was not officially recovered, Lara could not directly inherit the Croft title and Lara was thrust into a bitter family feud over control of the Abbingdon estates with her uncle Lord Errol Croft. Lara eventually won the legal battle, and took possession of her inheritance but at the cost of a deep rift in the Croft family that left her estranged from her living relatives.

At 16 she began studying at Gordonstoun, one of Britain's most prominent boarding schools where she discovered the mountains of Scotland. One day Lara came across a copy of National Geographic on the hall table. The front cover featured a familiar name - Professor Werner Von Croy. A respected archaeologist, Von Croy had once lectured at Lara's school to pupils & parents alike.

The experience had a profound effect on Lara, triggering a desire for travel to remote locations in search of adventure. In some ways Von Croy had become an inspirational figure for Lara. As Lara read further, she learned that Von Croy was currently preparing for an archaeological tour across Asia, culminating in a potential new discovery to be made in Cambodia. Unable to pass up this opportunity, she walked over to the desk & penned a letter to Von Croy. She Introduced herself and offered financial assistance in exchange for her place on the expedition. Von Croy's reply assured her that the territories were friendly and that he had ample experience to look after both his & Lara's well being.

Lara's company as an assistant would be welcome, as was the offer of such a generous cheque. He remembered Lara from his lecture - her incessant yet insightful questions had made quite an impression upon him. And so it was agreed that Lara would accompany Von Croy for the duration of the tour.

At 21, while in college, she was part of a team of aspiring archaeologists in charge of a dig in Paraiso, Peru. Her closest friends, Amanda Evert, aspiring anthropologist, and Anaya Imanu, engineer, among them. They were attempting to break through the tomb of the Queen of Tiwanaku. The expedition was cut short however, as a tragic accident led to the deaths of most of Lara's friends and colleagues, including Amanda, with Lara and Anaya emerging from the dig as the only two known survivors.

Lara probably should have died there, as most did, instead she learned how to depend on her wits to stay alive in hostile conditions a world away from her sheltered upbringing. Her experiences had had a profound effect on her and in that process transformed herself as well. Her Peruvian odyssey was both miraculous and enlightening, as the young woman not only survived, but gained a perspective on herself and the world that made her past appear shallow and naive. Out of the darkness of her ordeal, she saw her future reflected in a different light.

She felt profoundly that there was more for her in this life than the coddled existence that had become her numbing habit. Unable to stand the suffocating atmosphere of upper-class British society any longer, she realized that she was only truly alive when she was travelling alone. Over the eight following years she acquired an intimate knowledge of ancient civilizations across the globe. Despite this drastic life change, Lara still retains the essence of her upbringing - most notably with her polite, upper-class accent. She turned to writing to fund her trips.

While in England, Lara lives in a mansion in Surrey which she inherited many years ago. At one time she saw little use in it but now realises that, if nothing else, it is at least handy for storing all the artifacts she has acquired on her travels. She has also had a custom-built assault course constructed in the grounds for training purposes.

Lady Lara Croft has already eclipsed her father's career; as of this writing she is credited with the discovery of some fifteen archeological sites of international significance. These sites are still yielding new and exciting insights to the past on an ongoing basis. No one can deny Lady Croft's incredible contribution to the field of archeology, however she is not without her detractors.

Lara's methods have been frequently called into question by government officials and other practicing archeologists. She has been described variously as anything from cavalier to downright irresponsible. Some scholars have suggested that her notorious lack of documentation and brute force methodology have contaminated countless sites and done more harm than good. There have even been (unsubstantiated) allegations that Lara actually takes items from these sites before informing the international community of their locations, and that she is nothing more than a glorified treasure hunter.

Despite the tabloid press's infatuation with her, Lara Croft guards her privacy with complete determination. She has never granted an interview nor made any personal comment to any of the rumors associated with her, preferring to express herself through brief formal statements given by the family solicitors, Hardgraves and Moore.

Predictably there have been a number of unofficial biographies printed about the young Countess, that attribute wild and fantastic feats to her exploits, ranging from the discovery of living dinosaurs in the Congo to infiltrating the infamous Area 51 in Nevada. The official line from the Croft Estate to these works is simply that "...these books are utter rot: disgraceful, trashy works of total fiction."

Nevertheless if you even make a cursory search on the Internet for the Unexplained, the Mysterious and the Downright Unbelievable, time and again you will find Lara Croft's name appearing. She appears to be a hero to conspiracy theorists and alternate history aficionados alike.

It seems the further you dig into Lady Croft's life, the more bewildering and mysterious she becomes. Perhaps like the archeological sites she discovers, we have only scratched the surface of this incredible woman and the complex and inscrutable secrets buried deep within her.

Lara Croft became the seeker of truths, both large and small, and in that pursuit she continues to this day.

Employment

Lara doesn't consider tomb raiding as a job, merely a way of life - although she has been known to uncover archeological artifacts on commission. To fund her radical lifestyle, Lara writes travel books. Titles so far have included 'A Tyrannosaurus is Jawing at My Head' and 'Slaying Bigfoot'. Her common complaint though is that she doesn't have enough time to put pen to paper.

As well as uncovering many notorious archeological sites - including the Atlantean pyramid and the last resting place of the dagger of Xian, Lara has found fame in other areas - she has driven the dangerous Alaskan Highway from Tierra del Fuego in South America in record time (although this was later denounced by the Guinness Book of Records due to her "reckless driving") and she hit the headlines again when she hunted out and killed Bigfoot in North America.

Sports

Not much of a team player. Discovered rock climbing while at Gordonstoun and used to set off into the hills alone during netball practice. Also took up shooting as an extra-curricular activity but was instantly banned for showing "too keen an interest'. However, the strength that climbing gave her fingers was to become useful when she started pulling triggers for real.

Music

Lara was brought up to appreciate classical music but having been a guest on U2's Popmart tour, has since become a fan of their music. She has also been introduced to the sounds of Nine inch Nails by her Aunty and considers it "good easy listening". Finds trance music, in general, good for training.

Food

Despite being a proficient cook from her days at finishing school and having sampled most of the exotic delicacies of the world, Lara usually opts for beans on toast when at home.

Hobbies

Any challenging sports. Has a particular interest in experimenting with different, often extreme forms of transport. Has also once admitted to stitching a kind of Bayeaux tapestry of her own adventures while at home.

Ambition

With her unique physical abilities, Lara is certain of being able to break many world athletic records and so sees no challenge in this herself. Her main ambitions still lie in the undefined world of tombs and the past. She has also however, developed a personal regard for Brian Blessed's attempts to climb Everest. If he never succeeds, she is determined to piggy-back him up there.

Heroes

All the great ancient figures who respected themselves enough to design such intricate tombs to be buried in. "Nobody goes to trouble like that anymore..."

Fears

Her Aunty's Corgi which has bitten her on several occasions - about which, for once, there is little she can do.

Lucky Charm

Any gun at hand.

[power-rings-infinity-blog]

There were way too many ideas that went into this one story that I’m surprised it remained coherent let alone entertaining. We hadn’t done a long form parody of a Sonic game in a while and almost never even mentioned SA2 even in passing. Lara-Su fighting King Shadow was rather satisfying except for the very end when she seemingly froze him in time for all eternity. (You just know he’s been turned into a birdbath or is collecting dust in the palace basement.) If chaos control can affect time flows like that why not try to alter Shadow’s past instead?

But we didn’t want to turn this into an episode of Quantum Leap--we like our Sonic characters broken, thank you very much--and we needed the pace to remain snappy so we had enough schedule left to fit in our Christmas arc, so the alteration had to be immediately apparent and mostly silly.

Rule 63 to the rescue!

Then, when we were going over the major plot points of the game’s story, it stood out to us just how OP Shadow really was and how the entire game could have been over and the planet destroyed in a fraction of the time if Shadow just didn’t dick around with his posturing and edgelord bullshit.

Additional commentary on What Fourth Wall? follows:

I know that fans of Sonic Adventure 2 and fans of Amy in particular really liked her speech to Shadow but as I said complained about in 2006, you can’t really change someone’s mind that easily with a dramatic appeal to morality. At least, not as fast as it happened in the game. Maybe if Amy had made that speech closer to the middle, give Shadow something to think about, something to make him look at the unfolding situation differently as it’s happening then he can start to really think about his choices. But a few words right at the end after Shadow was inches away from fulfilling the motivation he’d had up to that point just made his character development hit a brick wall. I know, SA2 had story problems, big surprise.

Additional commentary on You Know You Saw This Coming follows:

We also really hoped that Shadow-chan would be well received since there was no way we wouldn’t want to immediately incorporate her into the growing Power Rings cast. And it succeeded! It also made us ponder about just getting rid of Shadow Classic, but we ultimately chickened out.

House of S was originally published between 13-11-2006 to 2-12-2006.

[tombraider-of-coredesign]

Alright, let's do this. "And yet, the character has often been portrayed as a sex object" Often according to... who? Overly-dramatic social justice warriors? For her clothes? Because if you ask me, wearing tank tops and shorts is perfectly natural for a woman, especially one with a great body shape like Lara Croft used to be. I see women wearing outfits like classic Lara did every single day, darn even I wear very similar "revealing" outfits, that doesn't make me any less credible just for showing a bit more skin. We are not talking about going around butt naked or other exaggerated situations, this never happened once if we have to be completely honest. Not even the renders MADE BY EIDOS showed questionable body parts, and bunch of them were incredibly sultry and sexy. Not to mention... last time I checked, a sex object is a woman that exist only in relation to a man for his personal satisfaction. Have you ever seen classic Lara flirting with her enemies to get an artifact or being overpowered by a man in any of the classic games? The closer we got to something like this is when she's occasionally knocked down for story purposes only to wake up in another setting (mostly a prison). Stop. And that makes perfect sense in relation to gameplay. Other than that (but it doesn't even count IMO) she is always in FULL control of herself, no matter what. No object, neither sexual nor any other kind. "Fifteen years later, we’re finally reaching an era when women can be both empowered onscreen and wear an outfit someone could actually run/climb/jump in." Didn't know you can't run and jump while wearing tops and short pants? Geez, you learn something new every day :D "The original animated Croft from 1996 was designed for heterosexual men—or, perhaps more accurately, hormonal teenage boys. (Just Google “Lara Croft sexy” if you don’t believe me.)" Could you also please google Tomb Raider pRon (we know what I mean) or search the Lara croft and tomb raider tag on tumblr? What do you say? There's a lot of extreme pRon scenes featuring rebooted Lara? Precisely. If you know how to use google, use it properly at least. Maybe the sheer fact that human beings tend to sexualize the things they like no matter the way they dress is a concept too elaborated and complex to grasp. "Say the name Lara Croft, and the first thing that likely pops into your head are her gigantic breasts and total lack of a supportive bra." Sorry, the first thing that comes to mind is how independent, brave, strong, witty, determined and adventurous she is. Missed that part? "In Lara Croft 2, the animated character—which looks nothing like a human being because it was 1997—is about to get into the shower when she says flirtatiously, “Don’t you think you’ve seen enough?” Ick." Ahhh interesting that the article mentions this. Because THIS specific scene was a subtle joke made for those "ho rny teens" who kept requesting an official nude Raider patch to CORE Design, so they thought about showing the fact that Lara is more than just a bunch of sexy polygons for the male pleasure directly in the game, with a cutscene that implies to look away because that's nothing more to see there. Again, if journalist actually did research before jumping to inaccurate conclusions, that would be infinitely better for everyone. Also, it's called Tomb Raider 2. "Shockingly, giving Croft a more athletic physique did not send gamers fleeing. In fact, it boosted the game’s sales, with over 1 million games reportedly flying off the shelves in just 48 hours" Sorry, but you are incredibly delusional if you truly believe the game sold that well just for Lara Croft's body proportions. It sold well and was critically acclaimed because it caters to what the masses want nowadays: an action-packed third person adventure full of explosions and set pieces. "But it’s not just Croft’s body, it’s her clothes: Poor Lara often traipses around the arctic without a jacket because a proper puffy coat would cover up her curves." When did she go to the artic without a jacket on? Enlighten me. The closer we got to reaching ridiculous way of dressing according to the weather is Tibet in TR2. But she wore a heavy jacket there, so I have no clue what this article is talking about. Remember TR chronicles too? Russia? I do. Because I played the games before spewing nonsense around. "she even got to wear cargo pants instead of shorts in the 2015 iteration" WOW, what a conquer. A respectable woman that lives up to her gender's name always wears long pants because showing legs is SHAMEFUL. y'all, young ladies who like to wear shorts because you feel comfortable in it or make you feel sexy, you should be ashamed of yourself. Yes, that's exactly what the article is teaching, and it's more sexist than any of the revealing clothes Lara ever wore. "You can be taken seriously only if you dress properly" so that's what pseudo-feminist stand for these days? How am I not surprised. "Of course, we ogle our male action heroes too, from that James Bond beach scene to a shirtless Thor. But filmmakers often imbue these men with the sort of power and intelligence female characters in action movies are rarely afforded." Wait, did we switch topic? Because we are now talking about films. Or is this a way to imply that classic Lara had no brain or qualities other than her big breasts? Because in that case, please go and educate yourselves on the matter. You couldn't be more wrong and misinformed. Power and intelligence are respectively the second and third name of classic Lara. On a side note... isn't it funny that the article was written by a woman? This adds the bonus +disgusting x100.

[codeforsomethinggay]

can i ask why you didn't like rise of the tomb raider? not arguing, just curious! (if you don't mind, cause i'm interested in your opinion)

I don’t mind at all! Actually, thanks for asking, because I love to rant ;).

i think my biggest issue with Rise comes from an inherent difference in what i was expecting and wanting from a tr 2013 sequel, and what the Rise people actually wanted to make. I think the people behind Rise wanted to make a classic tomb raider game, but Modern and open world (which, just personally, are strikes 1 and 2 for me, since i don’t particularly care for classic tomb raider or open world games). What I (and I think most of the fandom) was wanting and expecting was … well, an actual sequel for tr 2013. 

And yeah, mechanically, Rise succeeds in that. The platforming and playstyle is essentially the same with a few fun new tricks (tho I would argue that the controls are a little screwy and the ai finicky in this one (i was stuck on one platforming puzzle for around 40 minutes because lara just wouldn’t grab the exact part of a platform the game apparently wanted her to, though i can’t say if this is more a problem between xbox/playstation, as this remains the only xbox game i’ve played)) and the light crafting system and sandbox of tr 2013 is hugely expanded (again, a personal pet peeve, but also a strange decision for a tomb raider game and kind of a transparent attempt at modernization bandwagoning. hell, apparently even god of war is crafting/open world now). Combat is improved. I don’t really have an  issue with any of that. The play is by far the best thing about Rise. And that’s really my problem.

It just doesn’t feel like an actual continuation of the story told and characters molded in tr 2013. And a huge fucking part of that is that of the four survivors of the Endurance, only two appear in this game. And one of those two is Jonah. Now, I like Jonah. If Reyes and especially Sam actually had any sort of presence in Rise, I would appreciate his presence as well. But, and really this is the biggest thing, they don’t. The first game was, frankly, just as much about Sam as it was Lara. The official, canon comics make it very clear Sam’s story isn’t close to finished. Yet, Rise mentions Sam a total of one (1) time, and that single mention doesn’t even jive with comics canon (which it really should, as the comics are really doing the heavy lifting story and character wise). And Jonah just straight up does not have the narrative or emotional connection to Lara that both Reyes and Sam do. 

Anyway, Jonah aside, the other survivor of that horrific trauma is Lara. But, honestly, you wouldn’t know it. The teaser those gifs came from showed us what we thought was a deeply traumatized, suffering, ill woman who doesn’t know what to do or how to be after she Survived. Not long after this perception was largely known and accepted, someone on the Rise team (and i can’t remember exactly who) straight up said they were surprised at this interpretation, and that the teaser was supposed to show how impatient Lara was to Get Back Out There and Discover. And I guess that’s the crux of the problem. That latter interpretation is the one present in Rise. Despite this pretty explicitly going against both tr 2013 and the comics. And despite the fact that that interpretation is fucking boring. It’s boring, disappointing, and just so fucking common. 

Actually, now that I read all that back, I think the Rise team and I had at least one problem in common: the comics. As I said, I think the story and character is far more present in the comics than the actual game itself. And this is also my problem with games like dragon age: inquisition and final fantasy 15 and blizzard: You cannot (or should not, I suppose, since they definitely do) rely on outside media that most of the players are not going to consume to make sense of (or, in the case of Rise, straight up tell) the story for you! Jonah’s arc exists just in the comics (again, unlike Reyes and Sam, who went through actual arcs in the original game). Lara’s emotions and tr 2013 personality and relationships exist just in the comics. Trinity, the main bad guys, are really only introduced in the comics. Sam pretty much just exists in the comics. The big problem I have here is that Rise relies on the comics for things like investment in Jonah’s character, Lara’s character development, and explaining Trinity. And then the game completely disregards the comics when it comes to Sam and overarching plot. 

The comics and game just don’t know how to coexist. The game doesn’t want to tell the story the comics are telling, and the comic has to contort itself to serve the game. I mean, the arc leading up to Rise was all about Himiko taking over Sam and Lara being there for her! And then, out of fucking nowhere, to justify why Lara would go on this ~adventure without Sam, they throw Sam in jail and have Lara ~realize she was just using Sam as an excuse to not go.Really, the plot of Rise should have been the some of the Ana + trinity stuff combined with the Choice and Sacrifice (trinity experiments on Sam, bring Himiko out, Himiko goes on a rampage throughout europe and collects followers). arc in the comic. Now that is a game I would have loved. A direct follow up to tr 2013 that wasn’t a retread, involves the original big bad with the new one, an interesting concept, a continuation of the comics that doesn’t make having read them necessary, and giving both Lara and the audience immediate emotional investment. Ah, but now I’m getting into what should have happened instead of what did.

Anyway, some smaller things: Jacob. Everything about him. The typical, boring messiah. The fact that he’s an ancient Syrian but is still white (like, his daughter is a fucking redhead). The fact that Lara cares more about him than the woman who is essentially her stepmother, and the audience is expected to as well.Which brings me to Ana! What a waste of a charcter. And the fact that she was killed post credits? Jesus.Plus Sofia, whose name I actually had to look up she’s such a nonentity. The treatment of men and woman in Rise is … bad. Especially following a game that has the tagline “a survivor is born” in which 3/4s of those survivors are women.

In the end, how I ultimately feel about Rise will depend on if we actually get an end to the trilogy, and how it’s handled. If we don’t or it’s handled poorly, I could end up seriously hating Rise for for being a poor ending/starting a downward spiral; or i could end up really appreciating it more! If we do get a final game and it’s satisfying, I’ll probably just resent Rise for wasting a game in a trilogy, and for making the lead so ooc and obscenely, disgustingly selfish.

…Sooo that was long and like, hopefully not preachy lol. Thanks for asking/sorry for this essay. 

[titan-wolfdog]

Carol’s makeup (warning for Cap Marvel spoilers)

,seeing all these people defending the Russo’s brothers decision to slap classically/socially-assigned feminine makeup on Carol Danvers and saying anyone who criticizes it is ‘’mysoginistic’’ is absolutely baffling to me like, Im going to put it in the way as an 18 years old who has NEVER worn makeup in her entire life.

Imagine this, being a tiny 10-12 years old wee girl, having had hormone issues and suffering from early acne, u already had been told to and seen your equally old girl classmates putting on makeup and straightening their hairs from that age and on, you kept seeing them do this over and over, you were told you should do the same, your 2 years younger female cousin was already trying it on, why weren’t you?

You are bombarded with the women of your life, some even being past their 70s, doing their makeup even if their pulses were shaky with the old age and their sight wasn’t the best, they still said ‘’no but i have to put on makeup’’.

And you grow up, you never put on makeup, you never did not once, not even when you promised your friends they’d be able to do that at your graduation, not even if you were going to a special event, not even in your quinceañeras or sweet sixteen for the gringas, not once. 

And while of this is going on, you’re learning on feminism, and the choice of women. You see women like Natasha Romanoff, like Catwoman, like pre-reboot Lara Croft, like 2003-2005 Elektra; femme fatales whose best weapons weren’t their fists, their weaponry, but their tiny smirks with their red-tainted lips and the slightly raised eyebrow. 

These makeup styles, these tight clothes, the perfect eyebrows, not even breaking a sweat even in the face of an impromptu ALIEN INVASION, this is the sort of thing you’re only looking at because in those big screens and the small screens at home, there is no other type of woman. You know well this is not the actresses’ faults, nor the characters, the characters dont control how they’re written, the actresses are just doing their jobs, but it impacts on you, that this is how heroines and superheroines always look.

But then you’re growing even older, and you start to see women like Rey from Star Wars, like Aloy from HZD, like post reboot Lara Croft, like Zarya/Moira/Brigitte from Overwatch, like Jessica Jones, like tiny lil Laura Kinney from the Logan movie; they are all just as strong, they are not seen through their beauty or how pretty they can look, they are WILD, and full of justified rage and pride, Laura Kinney being the tiny one she is way more insane than her genetic father, Rey always fights in the most rudimentary way she knows but like hell that stops her,  Lara and Aloy and the three OW girls look absolutely nothing like you’re used to but their feminity is still visible, even when they’re sporting big muscles or toned abs or no socially-accepted feminine physical traits WITHOUT diminishing their presence as women.

And when girls like Harley Quinn sport makeup? It’s the total opposite, it’s what we’re told not to do when wearing it: don’t wear too much makeup or you’ll look ugly. But they’re not ugly at all, girls like Harley are not made out to show that such a thing is told to be ugly nor have I even heard a peep from someone saying they’re ugly, incredibly sexualized yes but that is another side of the subject.

And then comes Captain Marvel, and you see this raw uncontained energy, you see how her hair bothers her in fights bc it’s long, you see it all become messy as fuck when she crashes into the Blockbuster, you see the way she screams at the Skrull without restricting a single muscle in her face, and you know what else you see? No eyeshadow, no tainted wine-red lipstick, no blush on her cheeks, nothing at all. She’s comfortable in herself, she’s comfortable without makeup, and that does not take away her beauty, and more important, she is constantly fighting, constantly getting shit beat up all around, running, punching, among all that, in front of an attack incoming, who would have time to put on makeup, it of course doesn’t make sense, and that’s fine! She doesn’t have to wear makeup, at no point she is obligated as a character to do so, or to even fix her hair often, thank god her helmet does that for her!

And then comes the Avengers: Endgame trailer, and you’re waiting on her to show up, the woman everyone is looking for, the salvation of Earth, a fight to save half of the universe, not just one galaxy, but ALL THE GALAXIES ABOVE AND BEYOND... and you see this

You can see her lips a good shade of wine-red, probably matte lipstick, a clear blush on her cheeks, pink blush, perfect eyebrows, and possibly some eyeshadow, not eyeliner, but eyeshadow. Of course you think ‘’why a woman who has spent over a decade fighting a space war, probably wrecking ships on the go, trying to do the right thing, would take the time to pick up makeup, something she probably doesn’t use at all, would know how to apply all of this, pick up the tightest clothing she could even if she took the most comfy looking jacket when she left, in front of what could be the world as WE know? This doesn’t even feel like the same characters, sure you know it’s.. her, but in contrast to this: 

It doesn’t even begin to feel like her, and you have a slight bit of hope because everywhere you look, the posters, the middle credits scene where she shows up, she is sporting practically the same look, only that her hair seems to have grown, which is fine, it’s expected when you spend like 23 years up there in space with no hair stylist.

But why does she suddenly not feel the same, like you’re not getting the same vibe from her? How would she even know to put on makeup? Did she learn it from the Skrulls? But none of the female Skrulls even have to wear makeup, they simply don’t, there is no reason for someone like Nat to pick her over and go ‘’okay but it’s the end of the world so we gotta slap some makeup on you’’ when they’re ALL trying to think an strategy up for defeating this raisin who currently has uhh ALL THE STONES WHO CONTAIN THE POWER OF THE EVERY ASPECT OF THE UNIVERSE AND LIFE??

Ah, right, because if she keeps looking like the latter, everyone will start calling her bitchy even more than she already is, so ‘’let’s put makeup on her so she doesn’t look too threatening, on this character who in what’s probably 23 years has not worn a single bit of makeup, has not been shown to come back to Earth and wear makeup, has more than once and throughout her life picked comfortability over the hassle of putting on makeup and tight clothes, yes what a sound decision’’.

When you wear too much makeup, when you wear nothing of makeup, even when it’s expected of you when you’re a woman to find the ‘’balance’’ so you don’t look either ‘‘bitchy’’ or ‘‘crazy’’, so you look ‘‘appealing’’, that is the power of choice, and if you choose to wear makeup, that is because you can and you want to, but remember it is expected of us, women, to put on the right amount of makeup all the time, and having a woman, a superheroine, who didnt sport a bit of makeup, suddenly sporting the classic femme fatale look, should at least tell you that ‘‘this cannot be a sound decison at all considering everything taken into account’’. It is not mysoginistic to criticize Carol’s sudden makeup, makeup is NOT reserved for women only so stop saying ‘‘it’s mysoginistic to criticize Carol for wearing makeup’’.

Oh and before anyone says:

[catch-e-poley]

Myanmar

It’s worth the wait guys, BIG update incoming. Our whole trip around Myanmar is documented above in another sweet video which is in no way cheesy or produced with basic video editing skills. Enjoy, share, subscribe, like, dislike, troll or completely ignore. Split below by GC & EC, because Greg doesn’t want people thinking he’s writing things like OMG and literally. GC

First stop Mandalay. Have you all heard to Robbie song ‘Road to Mandalay’? No? Just me then - I listened to it at least three times on plane, it’s a classic. Anyway, Mandalay is the second biggest city in Myanmar so I was expecting, well a city… don’t get me wrong it was great, but it looked like a village. For one, there were a few cows and secondly, the place didn’t even have street lamps. Culture shock.

We took our first bus to Bagan after two nights in the city that sleeps (once the sun goes down). We stayed in our first hostel hoping to meet some travelling friends. Once we arrived though we experienced something I had yet to come across - a massive bunch of ‘’Brag-lers’’. These are the people who sit in hostels swapping authentic stories of their time on “the road” and essentially playing travelling top trumps‘‘well I once camped out under the stars in the Gaza Strip, ya’’. These particular Brag-lers were telling people about their recent trip to Afghanistan. Greg was desperate to tell them about Gary’s 30th birthday down Butlins but I was too hungry and it was way past feeding time.

The next day it was time for our first real adventure. I’d signed us up to a 7am tour around the temples… the only thing was this tour was on e-bike not foot. So pre 7am I had nearly found my way into the trunk of a tree and was getting ready to make a complete fool out of myself in front of new possible travelling pals. Luckily, I wasn’t the only novice/ incompetent driver, and the uneasy-ness got me some new people to talk to.

I tell you what, I felt like bloody Lara Croft (pics don’t do me justice, but ask Greg). We were whipping around like tomb raiders. It’s incredible, 2000 temples just there for you to explore.

After more exploring it was time for more adventure - this time on foot. How hard is trekking after all eh? It’s just walking. Ha…. little did I know.

It was time to take our first night bus to Kalaw. I’d never taken a night bus before and was a little nervous as I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew is these things do not have toilets so it could all go Pete Tong…. We were waiting at the bus station when I felt this pang in my tummy. Just nerves I thought. The bus came and Greg hurried me on… as I sat down the movement happened and I was desperate. I started sweating. In my head “these buses don’t have loos” was spinning around and I thought this was it. I was going to shit myself on a bus, two weeks in…. Luckily the bus station had an insect infested loo with my name on it. It was dangerously close to another classic Catchpole poo story.

So here we were in Kalaw about to embark on near enough 20 kilometres a day. As I work in miles I presumed this would be a lovely walk stopping for drinks and snacks until we reached our beds for the night. Our guide was also called WinWin - we couldn’t bloody lose. We walked, and we walked and we walked. Bloody hell we walked for ages, and not just up hills or mountains, across rivers as well. A good night’s sleep was on the horizon.

Would you classify a good night’s sleep as a. A place on a hard wooden floor, b. in a barn that rattled so much when the wind blew you were continuously woken up or c. above a smelly buffalo? Yeh, well we got all three. Talk about lucky. Oh and there was no running water either.

The second day was pretty similar, although to top it off it was raining. Boy oh boy do I love trekking. The rain not only soaked us, it made walking downhill so much more fun. As you can imagine I spent a lot of the time making use of my big bum to cushion various falls.

In all seriousness though, taking in the countryside and WinWin’s cooking, made this a great experience. One we said we would do again after several beers and gins.

We were rewarded with Inle Lake at the end. This two night stay consisted of massages, sleep, a winery and two fantastic meals at the only Indian restaurant ever dedicated to Eminem. We met Stan. EC

When we left Inle Lake we asked our hostel the best way to get to Ngpalli (a resort on the west coast). “Why would you want to go there? It’s torrential, not sure you can even get a bus there”. Me and Emma have a habit of visiting places when there’s a monsoon happening. It’s the best time to see a country and really understand it, yah…nothing to do with our lack of organisational skills.

Anyway, determined not to let a bit of rain put us off we decided to crack on and get a 20 hour journey (5 taxis/coaches) to seaside town Ngwe Saung (just south of Ngpalli). When we got there it felt like we’d arrived in a ghost town,with most hotels, shops and restaurants all boarded up (see hotel pic). Turns out the town basically shuts down in the month of June to prepare for a torrential onslaught. There was no sign of Vodka RedBull buckets, stalls selling anklets or elephant travelling pants. We’d have to find another way to get by.

When we were shown our room, the guy at the hostel proudly boasted that we had access to 24 hour electricity. In only two weeks we had become such travellers we were now going so far off the beaten track that literally nobody else was there, not even the locals. Aside from a handful of fisherman, we essentially had a 5km stretch of coastline to ourselves (too much sauce). One day we hired a bike out and took it across a local “ferry” to a deserted stretch of coast where you can drive along. Three days of bare zen. However, the KFC right outside our next hostel in Yangon was an essential requirement when booking. Zen’s great and all that but nang chicken is where you can also find inner peace.

Always looking for different ways to get scammed as tourists we decided to get our palms read in Yangon. Our con man palm reader suggested that I have a temper I need to control and that I would need a kidney operation in my 30s. After studying Emma’s palms for a few moments he proclaimed that Emma enjoyed music, dancing and alcohol. The first two were fine but she should limit the latter. Maybe this guy had special powers after all. Or perhaps I look like and angry man who needs the toilet and Emma looks like your typical “white girl wasted” foreigner. Shablam.

Yangon isn’t that pretty, but what it lacks in any genuine attraction it makes up for in wackiness. A temple full of snakes fed popcorn by monks, a museum about drug taking (with scary junky manikins) and an abandoned amusement park…See wicked mash up video above for more.

So now we’re off to Chiang Mai, Myanmar has been amazing. Oh and it’s pronounced “me-ah-mah”. Oh, and can you guys stop calling it Burma, that’s really culturally insensitive, next stop Rhodesia. Political banter. GC