#at home with sean and bex

[bottomseareef]

Get To Know Your Tav

Saw the template used by @thetavolution but the template was made by @sporeservant

Sean Shanahan | Human | Rogue/Fighter | Urchin | He/Him | 19

What is your Tav’s…

Favorite Weapon: A Bow

Style of Combat: Sneaky of course but also quickly. His target is preferably dead before they know he’s there and feeling no pain. If his target suffers then it was probably on purpose.

Most Prized Possession: His human mother’s red feather that she wore on her cap. Also his red scarf that his tiefling mother made for him when he first went off with his human mother.

Deepest Desire: To be a father. His time with the tiefling kids made him realize that. He wants to adopt someday, maybe Yenna.

Guilty Pleasure: Honestly he likes killing way more than he’d admit he can get pretty sadistic. Granted he only does it to people who truly deserve it but he can still get carried away at times depending on who the person is.

Best-Kept Secret: His middle name. Not because it’s embarrassing but because it’s the name that was given to him by his tiefling mother when she found him as a baby before she knew there was a note with his birth given name in the basket he was abandoned in. Since it was given to him by the woman he considers his true mother he only lets people incredibly close to him call him Alasdair.

Greatest Strength: Charity I’d say. Anything of value he’s ever stolen rarely ever stayed in his hands for long before being given to an urchin, a beggar, or so forth.

Fatal Flaw: No self preservation. He’d gladly die for a good cause.

Favorite Smell: Campfires, Sulfur

Favorite Spell or Cantrip: Speak with Animals. Not that he can do it naturally.

Pet Peeve: Crossbows. Just say you’re bad with a bow.

Bad Habit: Finds it really hard to sleep alone. Grew up always around others so he hates trying to fall asleep in a secluded tent away from people. Don’t know if it counts as a bad habit but whatever.

Hidden Talent: Knows surface level knowledge of playing a lute from his tiefling mother because she’s a bard.

Leisure Activity: Climbing. Mostly buildings from back home. Doesn’t like climbing natural things like mountains or trees.

Favorite Drink: His tiefling mother’s tea specifically.

Comfort Food: Bex’s cookies specifically.

Favorite Person: A lot. His tiefling mother, his human mother, his human “aunts”, his human “cousins”, Karlach as a lover but all the other companions, all the tiefling refugees.

Favored Display of Affection (platonic and/or romantic): Touch and words of affirmation. He didn’t get much affection after going off with his human mother and rarely seeing his tiefling mother so any sort of close touch or affirming word will shock him and he will be replaying the moment in his head over and over. Not that his human mother wasn’t loving or affectionate she just had different ways of affection.

Fondest Childhood Memory: His tiefling mother consoling him as a small child after she helped get some makeshift horns he glued on his head off because he was trying to look like everyone else in the community of tieflings he grew up with.

Edit: I forgot I was gonna tag people so @gith-zeri and @sorcerous-caress if y’all want to

[frenchpuppycormier]

I didn’t know I needed this. These guys are HI-larious. Lana can knife fight, break your arm, and kill people apparently. Also goats. Check it.

[believingispowerfulmagic]

In case you’ve missed it, OUAT cast members Sean Maguire and Rebecca Mader have their own YouTube channel where they interview people from the safety of their homes. So far, they’ve interviewed Jason George, Lana Parrilla, Keith Barry and Robbie Kay. 

I encourage everyone to check it out. They’re hilarious and just will make you feel good. 

And I think we all need that in our lives. 

[parrillanews]

At Home With Sean & Bex: Episode 2 - Lana Parrilla (Full Episode)

[nekoannie-chan]

Sueños inducidos

Pareja: ¡Sorpresa!

Palabras: 1641 palabras

Resumen: Las apariencias engañan, Steve y tú han salido unos cuantos años, sin embargo en una misión todo podría cambiar.

Advertencias: un poco de Smut, nada explicito, maldiciones y malas palabras.

N/A: El mensaje de texto está en negritas y cursiva.

Los recuerdos están en cursivas.

Es mi entrada para Hayley’s 1.5K Writing Challenge con la frase #12:

“No moriré hoy. No se puede decir lo mismo de ti”.

Y también es mi entrada para The Weird & The Wonderful-Challenge con frase #14:

“La locura de una persona es la realidad de otra persona”

Así como mi entrada para Bex’s 600 Follower Writing Challenge con la frase #3:

“Dos cabezas son mejores que una”

Y mi entrada para Stay safe, Stay home Writing Challenge con la frase #19:

“Francamente, querido. Me importa un bledo.”

No doy ningún permiso para que mis fics sean publicados en otra plataforma o idioma (yo traduzco mi propio trabajo) o el uso de mis gráficos (mis separadores de texto también están incluidos), los cuales hice exclusivamente para mis fics, por favor respeta mi trabajo y no lo robes. Aquí en la plataforma hay personas que hacen separadores de texto para que cualquiera los pueda usar, los míos no son públicos, por favor busca los de dichas personas. La única excepción serían los regalos que he hecho ya que ahora pertenecen a alguien más. Si encuentras alguno de mis trabajos en una plataforma diferente y no es alguna de mis cuentas, por favor avísame. Los reblogs y comentarios están bien.

DISCLAIMER: Los personajes de Marvel no me pertenecen (desafortunadamente), exceptuando por los personajes originales y la historia.

Otros lugares donde publico: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

Si te gusto por favor vota, comenta y rebloguea. 

Te despertaste al sentir la luz del sol que ya se empezaba a colar en la habitación que compartías con Steve, en unos días sería su tercer aniversario, entonces en ese día te pediría matrimonio, ya había planeado todo.

Si alguien le preguntara a Steve como se habían conocido o su historia de amor, podría contarla con lujo de detalles, no olvidaba nada, él creyó que no volvería a encontrar a alguien con quien compartir su vida hasta que te conoció.

—Buenos días muñeca—te saludó al darse cuenta que ya habías despertado.

—Hola—murmuraste.

Steve comenzó a besar tu hombro, sonreíste.

—Estaba pensando…

— ¿En qué?—cuestionaste.

—En lo mucho que te amo—respondió.

—Yo también te amo.

—Eres lo mejor que me ha pasado en la vida—dijo mientras ahora te besaba el cuello.

—Me siento afortunada de tenerte—respondiste.

Continuó besando tu hombro y tu cuello, bajó una mano hasta tu muslo para comenzar a acariciarlo, te volteaste, te pusiste encima de él y acariciaste con una mano su rostro, él seguía acariciando tus muslos, lo besaste y comenzaron a acariciarse subiendo la intensidad hasta que los celulares sonaron interrumpiendo el momento

—Claro, una misión—te quejaste con molestia.

Tenían menos de una hora para llegar a la base y salir hacia la misión.

 Todo está listo

 Sonreíste ante el mensaje que habías recibido, de inmediato guardaste tu celular, la misión únicamente era para Steve y para ti, así que no aparecía nada complicado

— ¿Estás lista?—te preguntó poniéndose a un lado de ti.

—Siempre y ¿tú, amor?  

—Si estás conmigo sí.

Te di un beso y subieron a la nave, no ibas a permitir que los nervios se apoderaran de ti, debías tener todo bajo control como siempre lo habías hecho, no podías cometer ni un solo error.

En cuanto llegaron a la base abandonada donde era la misión decidieron separarse para abarcar más campo y terminar de manera más rápida y efectiva la misión.

—T/N, posición—pidió Steve.

—Llegando al piso superior y ¿la tuya?—preguntaste por el comunicador.

—Sigo revisando la primera habitación—contestó.

De pronto a Steve le pareció escuchar un grito, salió de donde estaba y comenzó a correr hacia donde le habías dicho que estabas.

— ¿T/N? ¿T/N tu estatus? ¿T/N?

Se preocupó al no recibir respuesta alguna, angustiado de lo que te podría haber pasado apuró el paso para llegar de inmediato a tu ubicación, no podía perderte.

En cuanto entró te vio inconsciente y uno de los enemigos te estaba amordazando.

Justo en el momento en el que iba a lanzar su escudo, sintió una aguja en la espalda, su cuerpo dejaba de reaccionar, no podía creerlo, se suponía que eso no era posible, se suponía que él era inmune a ese tipo de cosas gracias al suero.

Trato alzar su brazo para alcanzarte, ya no lo sentía, no podía moverse, no te quería perder, necesitaba hacer todo lo posible para evitar que te hicieran daño.

Steve en un primer intento quiso abrir los ojos sin éxito, notó que estaba atado a una silla quizás, se esforzó más hasta que logró abrirlos, de inmediato te buscó con la mirada, necesitaba asegurarse que estuvieras ahí, tú estabas igualmente amordazada en una silla a lado de él.

— ¿Muñeca?—preguntó temeroso.

—Stevie…

— ¿Estás bien?

—Eso creo, solo no sé, no entiendo que pasó, no puedo zafarme—respondiste confundida.

Escucharon una puerta muy pesada abrirse y pasos, intentaron voltear pero no podían, así que esperaron hasta que la persona estuviera frente a ustedes.

— ¡Vaya hasta que gran Capitán América despertó!—exclamó burlonamente Brock.

—Rumlow

—Creí que esto sería más difícil, pero fue más fácil que quitarle un dulce a un niño—dijo Brock.

Cruzó los brazos quedando frente a ustedes.

—Déjala ir, ella es inocente—pidió Steve.

Brock esbozó una sonrisa de autosuficiencia y volteó a verte, se miraron por unos segundos antes de que abrieras la boca.

—Desátame—le ordenaste.

Brock se acercó a ti, te desató, te levantes, Steve seguía con la mirada todos los movimientos, haría cualquier cosa para salvarte, lo que fuera necesario, Brock y tú se volvieron a ver, sonreíste y lo besaste.

— ¿Qué?—preguntó Steve estupefacto.

Te separaste de Brock y acercaste a Steve agachándote un poco para quedar a la altura de su cara

— ¿Qué significa esto T/N?—preguntó furioso.

— ¡Oh el Capitán América se enamoró de mí!—te burlaste.

—Y quien no si eres encantadora—comentó Brock.

—Veras Stevie hay algo que queremos probar porque tenemos una misión muy importante.

Steve comenzó a forcejear para intentar zafarse.

—Oh no te esfuerces, no lo lograras, nos aseguramos de conseguir el objetivo de nuestra misión, realmente fue algo sencillo aunque tardado—continuó.

Steve se detuvo y te miró fijamente tratando de procesar lo que estaba escuchando.

— ¿Nuestra misión? ¿A qué te refieres?—cuestionó.

—La locura de una persona es la realidad de otra persona.

Te acercaste a su rostro, le diste un beso en la mejilla.

—Hail HYDRA—le susurraste al oído y luego lamiste su lóbulo.

Te separaste y fuiste hasta donde se encontraba Brock.

— ¿Qué?

Steve estaba atónito, no podía creerlo, todo había sido una mentira, había caído en la trampa y nunca sospechó nada.

—Eres patético, no te preocupes HYDRA se encargará de todo—aseguró Brock.

Steve se sentía traicionado, él en verdad te amaba, nunca había esperado que fueras a hacer algo tan bajo como eso.

— ¿En verdad creías que iba a cambiar mi relación con Brock de diez años por estar contigo?

Brock soltó una risita.

—Si me dieron esta misión es porque sabían que podía cumplirla a la perfección—dijiste.

—No lo puedo creer, todo eso era una mentira, creí que eras una buena persona, siempre fuiste tan encantadora.

—Francamente, querido. Me importa un bledo.

—En cuanto salga de aquí los voy a matar—aseguró Steve.

Ignoraron las amenazas que no dejaba de decir Steve, Brock te volvió a ver, te alejaste un poco para ir a la mesa que había en el lugar mientras Rumlow lo vigilaba, tomaste una jeringa que contenía un líquido verde.

—Veras Steve necesitamos estudiarte bien, de hecho de eso me encargue yo así como de la recolección de algunas muestras que serían de utilidad, nuestros científicos las analizaron para poder crear algunas sustancias que el suero de Erskine no pudiese asimilar, después te someterán a otro procedimiento, créeme HYDRA tiene grandes planes para ti.  

—Al final no eres tan inmune ni invencible como te hicieron creer Cap—se burló Brock.

—Todo eso que me solías decir era mentira, ¿verdad?—preguntó Steve, su voz sonaba herida.

—Caíste tan fácilmente en la historia de que yo era una chica débil y necesitaba que el Gran Capitán América me protegiera—te mofaste.

—Perra me las vas a pagar, los voy a matar—amenazó Steve.

—No moriré hoy. No se puede decir lo mismo de ti

—Me voy a vengar, te haré pagar T/N.

—No, no lo harás, no recordarás nada de esto.

—Claro, te mandaron a ti porque no creyeron que Rumlow fuera suficiente.

Iba a cambiar de estrategia, si lograba que Rumlow se acercara a él, entonces podría desarmarlo y escapar, no quería herirte, te llevaría como rehén y haría que confesaras todo.

—Dos cabezas son mejores que una.

Habían contemplado la posibilidad, así que Brock no se movió de su lugar, te acercaste a Steve y le inyectaste el contenido de la jeringa, Steve se retorció, la sensación era peor que cuando le inyectaron el suero, sentía como si sus venas ardieran en fuego.

— ¿Cuánto tardará en hacer efecto?—cuestionó Brock.

—Me dijeron que en una persona normal quince minutos, en él cinco—respondiste.

— ¿Te dijeron efectos tiene eso que le inyectaste?

—Recordará todas las cosas de las que se siente culpable en toda su vida como si volviera a estar ahí, presenciándolas.

—Wow, eres la mejor.

—Lo sé.

Se besaron de nuevo, comenzó a acariciarte la espalda, sabias que en cuanto tuvieran tiempo él te daría tu recompensa, ahora solo tenían que observar el comportamiento que él empezaba a mostrar, ya que parecía que el líquido comenzaba a hacerle efecto.

Steve estaba sudando como si tuviera fiebre, su respiración comenzó a acelerarse, cerró fuertemente sus ojos, en su mente un cúmulo de imágenes comenzaban a aparecer, dolía, sentía mucho dolor.

 Recodaba a su madre moribunda en el hospital, los meses anteriores a enfermarse había estado trabajando más tiempo para poder comprar sus medicamentos y todo lo que él necesitaba, si él no hubiera sido tan débil, si no le hubiera dicho que quería ir a la universidad, ella no hubiese tenido que esforzarse más, era su culpa que se hubiera enfermado de tuberculosis y estuviera muerta.

Veía a Bucky caer del tren de nuevo, era su culpa que su mejor amigo, debía haber hecho algo más para evitar que él tuviese ese fatídico destino, sentía que había traicionado a la única persona que estuvo ahí apoyándolo después de haber perdido a su madre.

Podía ver cada uno de los rostros de las personas que no había podido salvar a lo largo de los años, debió haber hecho algo más.

— ¿Cuánto tardarán en llegar nuestros agentes?—le preguntaste a Brock.

—Media hora.

— ¿Si cumplieras lo que me prometiste?—inquiriste fingiendo una voz dulce.

—Primero necesitamos que lo conviertan en el Capitán HYDRA, luego en cuanto haya la oportunidad tendremos el trío que tanto quieres—te aseguró.

—Por eso te amo—le dijiste.

—No, me amas porque soy el mejor—te corrigió.

Los dos rieron.

— ¿Crees que debería haberle dicho de su amiguito?

—Mejor que se entere después, te aseguro que al tener a los dos súper soldados de nuestro lado, HYDRA dominará el mundo.

Sentaron a ver el espectáculo que ofrecía en lo que esperaban a que le estaba equipo llegará.

Ninguna misión había sido tan fácil anteriormente.

[ellaenchanting]

Day 30 Kink

The thing where you fall a little bit in love with your characters and imagine what it would be like to hang out with them. I make no apologies about how self-indulgent this is. Credit and love to @spiralturquoise for the idea of getting all of my characters together at a con.

It was almost impossible to schedule a group dinner at a hypnocon. Between scenes and presenting and going to classes, it was a minor miracle that any group of people managed to meet up. 

Ella couldn’t quite believe she had somehow made this work. She looked out from her dinner, surveying her friends group.

Brandon, Scott, and Belinda were all huddled together, locked in what seemed like an intense conversation. They were all in their 50s and kind of the elder statesmen of the community. They were some of the people that had welcomed her when she joined several years ago. Belinda specifically had given her tips on doing hypnosis as a domme and she had long conversations with Scott about bottoming vs submission. Right now, Belinda was discretely stroking her husband Ray’s back in a soothing way (he sometimes got anxious around groups) while Aiden was curling up against Scott. Scott has confided in Ella earlier that Aiden has shyly come to them before con about a possible threesome to explore his guy- attracted side. They looked really cozy right now. She hoped it had gone well.

Bre was gushing excitedly about her mistress Janine (who had unfortunately had to stay home this time) and bragging about just how brainwashed she was feeling lately. Deidre was listening in, excitedly. She nodded her head and asked lots of questions about how that level of control felt. Destiny and Maria were also chiming in to the conversation, talking about their experience with memory play. They swapped tips on trying to do a high level of control safely.

Other Bri (Bri with an “i” Ella thought) was huddled together with Lex, Fatima, and Bex. They were discussing the trans, genderqueer, and gender non-normative meetup they had planned earlier in con. They had all met through mutual friends at a previous convention and decided to work together to raise awareness about these identites in the community. Today’s event hadn’t been focused on that, though. It was more a way for people to find each other and get to know each other socially. Apparently it had been really successful. Ella had already heard good things.

Ginger and Lila appeared to have ganged up on Sean, teasing him by taking sips of his drink and booping his nose while he was distracted by the other. They were clearly flirting in the Way of Their People, the brats. Sean might actually have his hands full this time.

Maybe. But Ella doubted it.

Summer was surrounded by her fiancé Jenna as well as a delighted crowd of Andrew, May, and Alison. She was excitedly retelling the story of Jenna’s proposal earlier this year. She showed off her engagement ring. (Apparently it matched her collar.)

Chris and Mark were holding hands in the corner. Mark occasionally stole a kiss. Chris was also holding hands with Liliana, although she was ignoring him and seemed more focused on another conversation.

Cirie, Lilliana, and Amy were all gathered around a new girl Jiyeon. She had just turned 18 a few months ago and had managed to find her first hypnocon. She was in high school and apparently had a few-months-younger partner who was still underaged. Ella worried about her- kink cons were intense places for everyone, but especially for 18 year olds. Fortunately, Cirie, Lilliana, and Amy had met her early in the con and seemed to be dedicating themselves to making sure she had a good and safe time. Amy seemed especially invested. That made sense- she was only a few years older than Jiyeon and had been at the receiving end of some “cute Asian girl” harassment herself at her first convention. Ella was glad Jiyeon had been adopted in this way. No one would fuck with any of these women, but especially not with Amy. Not after what she'd managed to pull a few years ago.

Jiyeon seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. She’d be fine.

Adrian was talking with Ella earlier but had been called away on concom business.  So it went. Ella was used to being temporarily on her own at these and things. She considered jumping into one of the other conversations, but right now she was content to sit on the outside and observe. She was happy that everyone could get together at least once a year to catch up. It felt wholesome and connecting. Ultimately, she really just  liked her friends- and she especially loved hearing all of their stories.

--------------------

Character guide:

Brandon and Scott- Stage

Belinda and Ray- Smell

Aiden and Fatima- Babble

Bre and Janine- Base Character

Deidre- Machine

Destiny and Maria- Underwear

Bri and Alison-  Colors

Lex, Ginger, and Adrian- Mistaken

Bex and May- Summon

Lila and Sean- Poison

Summer and Jenna- Business

Andrew- Fighting

Chris, Mark, Cirie, and Lilliana-  Abduction

Amy- Ooze

Jiyeon- Neighbor

I’ll post the full list of stories tomorrow if anyone wants to catch up. As always, if you’ve enjoyed, I welcome feedback as well as any and all tips on Ko-fi! Also- I  would love to answer any asks you have about any of these characters or any of my Hypnovember stories. My inbox is open!

[laufeyswann]

I just got back home after OperationCon and it was so good! Everyone was lovely and it was very well organized. Colin was his usual handsome, dorky self and all the cast was just brilliant! Sean was wonderful and Bex was just so cute with her little bump!!!And being in a Sean/Colin sandwich was fab! I had the best day and I’m so glad I had this opportunity :’)

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Follower Ficmas: Day 23

For @doctoranon

Preferred Character: Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers

Prompt: Being caught singing and dancing along with the radio n the kitchen and when you notice your being watched you pause then just shrug, carry on and make them join you? + “You look beautiful” kisses: just a soft press of lips to the temple, resting them there for a moment, then smiling down and telling them as much.

You waited for your boys in the apartment you shared in Brooklyn. They were currently away on a mission and you were home all by your lonesome. Even though you missed them a lot, it gave you time to do things around the place that you couldn’t while they were around. One of those things cleaning the kitchen while also singing and dancing along to the radio on full blast.

“Thought I’d end up with Sean, but he wasn’t a match! Wrote some songs about Ricky, now I listen and laugh!” you sang obnoxiously loud as wiped down the counters with a sponge. So caught up in your cleaning and the music, you didn’t realize that your boys had come home. 

Steve and Bucky trudged through the door, pausing as they realize that music is playing rather loudly in the apartment. 

“Doll?” Bucky hollers, but with the loud music, his voice is drowned out.

Steve looks at Bucky, who gives him a shrug, and proceeds to walk further into the apartment. They approach the kitchen to see that your back is facing them. You’re wearing a t-shirt and some sleep shorts. Your hair is tied up and out of the way. Your hips sway back and forth as you sing:

One taught me love

One taught me patience

And one taught me pa-AH!

You scream as you see Bucky and Steve standing at the threshold of the kitchen watching you. You hold a hand to your heart, trying to ease its rapid beating, “Holy fucking Jesus Christ! When did you two get here?!”

Steve chuckled as he moved to lower down your music, “If you weren’t playing this so loud, you would’ve heard us come in and call you.”

You give him a shrug, “Sorry. I was in the zone! Anyway, wanna join in on this singing and dancing session?”

Bucky shook his head, “As much as we’d like to, Bex, we’re pretty beat. We kinda just wanted to shower and hit the hay.”

You pouted at him, “But you just got hooome! Spend time with meee!” you whined, latching yourself onto Bucky’s arm.

He leaned in, kissing your head, “Next time, sweetheart. Or, you could finish up and shower with us? And we can all nap together?” 

You purse your lips, thinking over his proposition. You look back at the kitchen and then back at the boys. You throw the rag into the sink, “I was pretty much done anyways!” you take their hands and drag them along to the bathroom for a shower. 

___________________________________

Steve and Bucky stood on either side of you in the bathroom. You were brushing out your damp hair and they were brushing your teeth. When Steve was finished, he went to wait for you two in bed. Bucky decided to hang back and watch as you brush your hair. 

You glanced to your left to see him leaning against the counter watching you, “What?”

Bucky leaned in, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to your temple. He murmured, “You’re beautiful.”

You couldn’t help but scoff, “Buck, I look like a wet dog right now.”

“A very beautiful wet dog,” he said with a smirk.

You lightly slapped him on the chest, “Dork.”

He laughed, “What? It’s true! Stevie!” he hollered for his boyfriend.

“Yeah?” Steve replied.

“Isn’t our girl beautiful?”

“The most beautiful girl in the world!” 

Bucky smiled at you, “See? It’s true ‘cause Captain America doesn’t lie.”

You snort, “We both know that’s not true.” 

He gave a shrug and pecked your lips, “Don’t matter. You’re so beautiful and we love you.” He pulled away and headed to the door, “Don’t take too long, Bex. Don’t wanna fall asleep without you in our arms.”

You saluted to him, “Got it, Sarge,” and went back to finishing getting ready for bed. A small smile remained on your face because you felt so loved by your boys and you loved them. A lot. 

[haptureratch]

Today has been a day of magic.

I woke feeling very tired, having worked four of the last five days. (Including the shift where I stayed until after 10pm to watch the OLT after setting up CRRT and handing off to Gian.) Still, off to FIT I went because we must keep going. Sean worked my calves and glutes hard. Harder than I would have pushed myself, of course. There was a moment where I could have thrown up. All the blood being pulled from my gut to feed the lower half of my body, much more than half of all my muscle combined. (Just like my patient from the other day....except she had a calcified SMA and much more excruciating GI problems.) Knowing that leg day would stress my system more and leave me very sweaty, I brought clothes to change into so I could get to the library straight from the gym. Forgot a bra. Dammit. I ran over to TJMaxx just around the corner and found what is actually a really nice bra that fits well....score. Anyway, new bra on and protein smoothie (from my gym) in hand, I make my way to my community service obligation. Again, very tired. Extremely worn. Cannot hide it from my face. Really wanted to just eat a good meal and sleep. But I went because we must keep going. I got absorbed in my work for 3 hours. The last passed not too slowly. I got to enjoy a few moments of the empty, ecstatically quiet library while the doors were still closed to the public and the staff was in a meeting in their break room. And apparently I’ve been finding an exponentially greater number of books, etc. on their missing list than they ever do. “A lot of those were on hold for customers.” I savored the knowledge that I was helping people outside of the hospital. 2pm. Done. Time for solid food. Man am I tired....

I decide to finally see what Central Market was all about. It was a fucking madhouse. 3/10, would recommend for the aesthetic. Can get just as good pre-made protein for much less elsewhere but their salads looked good as hell. I get me a wad of a turkey pesto sandwich with red peppers on sourdough, some of the damn su’sh I’d been craving, and some cinnamon raisin oatmeal bites I’ve had in our breakroom before or at Mohammad’s or something. So good. I snap a pic of a BEAUTIFUL collection of big blooming roses*. They even had a faint scent. Store flowers never do these days. Or maybe they never did. Okay, okay, time to go now. Gotta get back and get on all this studying now that we’re to my days off....

I get home. I had a thought of “we’re on the right track” or “we’re balanced and we keep persevering” something like that. I was weary but dutiful. This is my life. I have to do this all so that I can prove I am good enough for med school my  next go around.

I do my dishes, which had been sitting in the sink uncomfortably long. So, so tired. I’ll relax in a bath for an hour and then get into studying. I debate which CBD bath bomb to try. I was contemplating strength of the product and scent mixtures with my Lush stash. I decided on a 100mg Powermint from Bath By Bex with half a Bling Crosby. I almost didn’t choose that special combo.

In the bath I am analyzing my body’s reaction to the CBD, trying to tell if my first time was just placebo effect. Yeah, it’s doing something. (Maybe more placebo.) I had my book--The Art of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo--on the rug and was intending to finish the last 30 pages. But I picked up my phone. Checked the notifications. Refreshed my email. Another from Theresa Silva. I’m accepted to UTMB.

I cry. My throat tightens. I choke. I hyperventilate. I LOSE MY FUCKING SHIT, OK. Middle fingers to everyone who didn’t support me. Bliss to me. I did it.

I called Mom. Then Dad. Dad was so giddy about it. I could hear him smiling through the phone; he may even have had a few tears in his eyes. Mom was more professional about it, but she was in clinic. (As she was hanging up the phone I could hear her start to say, “My daughter....” Surprised, happy tone.)

I had believed so strongly since I didn’t get match that I was going to go through the whole thing again. MCAT, essays, application, dogging people for letters, figuring out how to answer questions in the right way, interviews all over the country this time. Another year older. It’ll be okay. This is another year of money in the bank. Another year of dayshift experience and seeing how the attendings round on patients. But those damn residents were getting to me. So much doubt, not so much in myself but in the path I wanted. I think that hurt more than the self-doubt did. It took away my reason for living. But we must keep going. And I’ll try one more time even though I’m losing soul-steam for this. Maybe I can have adventures in the PNW as a travel nurse until I settle for CRNA or AGACNP.

It wasn’t until I was listening to Fall Out Boy that it sank in and I started believing it. If I can live through this, I can do anything. FUCK YEAH. Cloud 9 starting pouring through me as I stepped outside to run some errands to “Youth” by Glass Animals. Sunshine and smiles.

Fly Feel your mother at your side Don't you know you got my eyes I'll make you fly You'll be happy all the time I know you can make it right

I felt complete. I’m a future doctor. I walked around knowing that I have begun the rest of my life. The pieces fit. The only things that will change are my age and expertise. I am who I want to be and I will do what I want to do. I am made for this and I am actualizing my destiny. I am beginning what I have wanted to start for so long. This thing I have been wishing and working so hard for is now mine. I am me.

Later I realized that bubble bar had the note I sent to myself about med school. I had forgotten about it when I ran the bath. Oh, the magic. And at Lush? (Of course I flipping ended up at Lush.) They gave me Rosie*. (ASIDE FROM BEING INCREDIBLY SWEET AND KIND AND GENEROUS AND AMAZING) So meta. So fucking meta. The stars align, folks.

I was always looking for all of this connection and symbolism in a relationship. A magical, ethereal soulmate. Nah. It’s me. It’s in me. It’s all me.

[freifraufischer]

Do you think there's a chance Bex will become a regular again for s8? Im so curious about her story and cursed persona, and her relationship with Roni and how she fits into everything.

Sorry, I meant s7, not s8...

I have no idea honestly.  

So I asked my friend at Another Network/Another Studio(tm) to game out if she could or why they would let her go and then reup her again and their thoughts amounted to a bit of network politics and a bit of budget weirdness.  Sometimes shows are just told to cut X number of cast members in late seasons and the network doesn’t care who or how or even if they cut expensive ones versus non expensive ones.  So it could have been an edict from on high that if they wanted to hire so many new regulars they had to cut a particular number of them.

Another option would have been to keep her reappearance somewhat of a surprise (the GA wont be seeing the publicity about it) and not having her in almost half the season would be a way to make it a big deal for the at home viewer when she enters the story again in 8 or 9.  

There are also recurring contracts that pay as much as and are effectively regular contracts.  Basically you get a recurring contract plus a fairly hefty non-compete clause that means you can’t take other work but they’re going to pay you to be available to them.  Sean for example in season 4 would have been on a non compete recurring contract.  Kane and Reynolds this year are certainly.

They can all have options for a regular pick up too which is another thing.

Another thing to know since we’re talking about contracts and these people...

There is such a thing as a zombie contract.  An actor may be tied to a project that is otherwise dead (say a pilot that wasn’t picked up but that the producers are still trying to shop around or a development deal that is going nowhere ...) and t that existing contract means they can’t sign a regular contract until the zombie one’s term ends.  Some people just let the actors out but others will just wait for the contract to end.  

Mekia Cox’s promotion the last day in August is almost certainly the result of a zombie contract where she couldn’t be a regular until it ended.  The timing at the last day of August is a big flag to say so.

I’m almost certain that’s what’s going on with Kane too.  Perhaps something from Reign or something from another project.  Because all of them were cast in June they’d have lingering stuff from the pilot season in last winter to deal with.

So the long and the short of it is that ... Bex may get promoted, or she may not but she may be getting paid the same amount as if she was.  This all might have been a game with the suits at ABC or it may be a game with the GA that we just don’t see because we have a lot more information than the average viewer.

And the Bonus is that I think Kane should be treated like a regular for now by the fandom because she will walk if they’re not tying her down.

[charmingturkeysandwich]

Anyone want to go to OUAT Con in Toronto?

I have a fundraiser AND I now can’t get off work, so I’m looking for someone who might want my Gold pass & a photo op. The photo op was for two people who are sadly no longer going... but Creation has stated that when you get there you’ll get vouchers for other photo ops and I believe it will add up to more than the value of just the one that isn’t happening anymore. So really it’s a win!

I’m so bummed I can’t go because I loooooove Karen David (she was my Isabella before she was my Jasmine) and Sean seems like just the coolest dude. But alas I am not able to make the trip [so many tears].

Please contact me if you’d like to buy my ticket! It’s fourth row center(ish) and I’d like to know that it’s going to a good home <3

Remember that Lana, Sean, Bex, Emilie, Jared, Beverly, Karen, Gil and many more will be there and are super excited to see all of us fangirls and fanboys!

[katmtan]

Do you think the pictures of Ginny means she filmed yesterday on the last day of filming. Do you think Josh did. So do you think they went home on Saturday and then came back for Tuesday. Really confused. I thought they were done. Thanks

Yea! Security told a friend at the party that Gosh were done? Maybe something changed last minute? I rem Bex did an interview at Sean's event and she did say she was also supposed to film Mon/tues but ended up not needing to?

[cluttermind]

I just watched the latest At Home With Sean and Bex and IM STILL YELLING ABOUT IT WOW EXCELLENT