#at first tommy think she keeps looking at him because she think hes cute

[mariatesstruther]

okay but a modern au where tommy always takes sarah to the library and gradually falls in love with the pretty head librarian ms. maria

[blindedbystars]

i reached too many tags so im writing the rest of my thoughts here hope you dont mind!

i loved the confrontation between heaven and tommy - like i said its born out of worry and comes from a good place initially but also because she's too unpredictable tommy can't control her the way he can everything else and that's one reason he doesn't like her

but also tommy believes himself cursed and maybe she represents that part of himself tommy is afraid of and her mentioning his son i know she's trying to help him but tommy is so untrusting it won't come across as anything other than a threat

and i know i keep saying this but i do like the little bits and pieces of her backstory she's such an intriguing character im looking forward to reading more about her

"you're here" / "told you id come back" 🥺😭😭 and "please tell me you're not scared of your arthur" this beauty and the beast situation but where they both think they're the beast "you look pretty with blood all on your face" so real girl i hear you

love that they both are same level of crazy for eahcother they want to eat eachother so bad love it

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary:  This is when things seem to get better with the Shelby family —at least with Polly— that a drunk client crosses the line with you at the Garrison. Haunted by his past insecurities and his burning jealousy, Arthur snaps. And he snaps very bad. For the first time since you've met, he reveals the beast he hides inside... And Tommy obviously uses the incident to blame you.

Words: 5k

TW: Angst, Obsessive behavior, extreme jealousy, graphic depiction of violence, murder, lot of blood, canonical violence, witch trial, allusions to smut, allusions to blood!kink, Arthur being an emotional and slightly psychotic mess

Notes:

✞ I don't condone Arthur's behavior. Also, keep in mind that Heaven is certainly a bit twisted too.

✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).

PREVIOUS CHAPTER || Masterlist || NEXT

The sound of your heels hammering the cold pavement of Small Heath echoed in the nocturnal streets as you walked to the Garrison. Even though the expansion of the Shelby Company led the family’s interests away from the pub, they still hold the place dear to their hearts and sometimes they liked gathering there for old times' sake. Especially Arthur. Hence, rather than staying at home, reading in front of the fireplace, and dwelling on Polly’s odd behavior at the last family gathering, you decided to occupy your buzzing mind by surprising Arthur at the pub. A raven flew above your head and cawed, its presence stirring interest in you for he had followed you from the moment you had left your house. As you walked to the Garrison, you took a quick glance at the black bird’s silhouette, which was perched on a roof a few houses away. 

"Silly boy, want to tell me something?" You told to it, amused. The animal, dressed with dark feathers, replied with another caw. You chuckled and kept walking.

The white dress and fur coat you were wearing contrasted so well with the dull night that the few people you passed were not sure what they had just seen. Indeed, the moon's glow reflected its light on your porcelain skin, adorning your frail body with an almost supernatural aura. That was why some of them thought they had caught sight of an angel, just like Arthur did the first time you and he met.

When the dark wooden door of the Garrison opened, its noise overcoming the laughter, chatting, and sounds of glasses clinking against each other, a soft wave of warmth caressed your cold face. You had barely stepped inside when people almost all turned around, many pairs of eyes weighing on you. Curious and dumbstruck gazes looked at you, wondering what such a holy-looking creature was doing here — but you did not really care. Your petrifying aquamarine iris swept the room to become familiar with the place before you headed to the counter behind which you saw Arthur’s tall frame. The man was back to you, talking with his little boss-brother Thomas. Awesome, you thought, little King Shelby is here. Sarcasm filled your head at the mere sight of him. To be true, you were well aware that Thomas was always doing his best to avoid you, but it did not annoy you. Quite the contrary, you were more than satisfied with never seeing him — you still did not come to terms with him trying to strangle you after all. Nevertheless, you leaned over the counter, arms resting on its varnished wooden surface, and parted your juicy lips to speak. 

“Good evening, Mister Shelby. Care to serve me a drink?” 

Arthur’s whole being shivered with delight as soon as he recognized the enchanting and oh-so-peculiar tone of your voice — the same voice that had led him to you one bleak and sleepless night. Shaken to the core by your presence, he forgot about Tommy the moment you had started to speak and turned around to face you, the corner of his lips stretching in a genuine and blissed smile. Each time his steel blue eyes fell on you, it was as if God's grace struck him — even though you were living together. The thrills you gave him never left.

“Good evening, love. What is such a delicious little Angel like you doing here? It’s a bad town for such a pretty face ye know.” He almost cooed with his hoarse voice, his hands on the bar and his eyes sparkling with a teasing gleam.

“Fell from the sky and got lost in these streets, so I just followed the light.” Your fingers grazed the back of his hand and went up its skin, leaving pleasant tingles in their trail, until they reached one of the many rings he was wearing. The simple gesture, barely touching him, lit up a blazing fire in his soul. Thomas looked at Arthur and quickly understood that no matter what he would say or do, he held no power over his older brother anymore, “Evening, Tommy.” You said, finally acknowledging him.

“Thomas. It’s Thomas.” He retorted with a voice as cold as an arctic blizzard that could freeze Hell’s inferno itself. He stubbed out his cigarette in the nearest ashtray and left without any single word, his shadow disappearing in the streets as he left the Garrison, for your sole presence seemed to bother him. Well, at least his opinion about you did not change. However, the lack of peculiar reaction from him reassured you: Polly had not told him what happened to the tea party yet.

“Don’t mind him eh,” 

You did not.

“I should probably give you one hell of a strong drink if you fell from Eden… Miss?”

“Heaven Lavey.” You winked, enjoying his silly way of hitting on you as if it was the first time you met, “A glass of red wine would do the trick… And the barman’s heart.” Your teasing grin widened, unveiling perfect white teeth. Arthur let out a long exhale through his nostrils, enraptured by your whole being. From your smile to your bratty pout, you got him on his knees. Each time he would dive his eyes into yours, his heart would quicken in his chest and dopamine would rush through his veins — who would want to keep taking drugs after tasting you? Not even himself. He was already high enough by your presence in his life and God knew he never wanted to sober up from you.

“As you wish.” He leaned over the counter to lay a tender kiss on your forehead. The way his mustache gently tickled your skin made you chuckle. How sweet he was, not afraid to lavish you with sweetness even in front of other people. Then, he gathered all his strength to pull away from you and take care of your order — which was nearly impossible to do, for you were both attracted to each other like two powerful magnets. But still, he did and then poured the finest red wine the Garrison had in a glass before putting it in front of you. Then, he leaned a second time over the counter to bring his face close to yours again, “as for my heart,” he paused, his eyes abandoning yours to drop on your full lips he watched with utmost desire, “You already snatched it, angel.” 

“You’re incorrigible, Arthur Shelby.” You could not help but laugh when you noticed that, as you spoke, his focus was still fiercely anchored to your lips. The urge he had to devour them was almost palpable, electrifying the air around him. Yet, you resisted the need to kiss him, rather bringing your small hands to his neck to fix his bow tie with indescribable tenderness. The pair of eyes that were watching you since your arrival could not believe that you had managed to tame the brutal Arthur Shelby — how he behaved with you was so different from the way he was with the others it almost scared them, “I hope you like this little surprise.”

“You can’t imagine how much I do.” He purred, grabbing your hands and putting them on his cheeks. How he loved feeling your cold skin against his. You cupped his face, looking right into his fair eyes with a never-ending love, and he instantly melted. His eyelids half-closed, for you had brought peace to his scorching soul again, “Lemme clean a few things and we’ll go back home eh.”

“Take your time. Je t’attends mon amour — I’ll wait for you my love —“

“Yer comfy here?”

“Arthur,” Your eyes rolled, amused.

“Want a cushion to sit on? Want to wait in a quieter room?” 

“That’s okay.”

“Mmm’kay” 

You freed his face from your sweet grip, leaving him lingering for more. When he reopened his eyes he could not hold the little growl that escaped his lips for you had not kissed him. He blinked several times, trying to chase away the charm you had cast on him with your sole presence, and reluctantly left you. Stars still danced in front of his eyes because of your intoxicating beauty — so hypnotizing he struggled to come back to what he was doing before.

Waiting did not bother you. In fact, you preferred to wait for hours here, in the comforting warmth of the pub and its hullabaloo, rather than being left alone with your thoughts in the quietness of your house. Sipping on your red wine, you were minding your own business when a man sat next to you, his body collapsing on the stool as if walking had been quite a struggle for him. Which was probably the case considering he was drunk. Only a few people were still at the Garrison, the others went home stumbling or dragged away by a fellow friend. The suffocating smell of whiskey and sweat that was emanating from the newcomer made you wrinkled your nose.

“Hey doll, all alone by yourself? ”  The man said, bringing the whiskey glass to his chapped lips to gulp what was left in it. You glanced at him and simply nodded, not really wanting to do any kind of conversation, “Your glass is almost empty. Lemme buy you another one.” 

“I really appreciate it but that’s fine.” You answered with a polite smile — but even when doing the bare minimum your angelic traits never failed to captivate your audience. The man noticed your strong accent and saw the opportunity to carry on with the conversation.

“You come from France eh? I fought in France! Bloody hell, still got the mud of this country under my nails!” 

Maybe he talked a little bit too loud, or maybe Arthur’s senses were as sharp as a wolf’s, but the fact remains he immediately raised his eyes from what he was doing to watch over you. His steel blue iris shifted their attention from you only to cast their furious fire on the drunk man that was talking to you. His woman.

“You know, I always thought it was kind of sad that all the people here only link France with the war. This is a beautiful country.” You answered, taking another sip of red wine. Somehow, you allowed yourself to talk with the man. At least time would probably fly faster that way.

“If France’s as beautiful as ya, I’ll rush back to it by tomorrow, doll. The name’s Jim.”

You silently replied to him with a light smile, gently shaking your head at the fella’s attempt to compliment you.

You smiled at Jim — And Arthur broke the glass he was holding in his hand. It had been crushed by the pressure with which he had tightened his grip around it until it shattered into bits. Sharp pieces of glass had pierced Arthur’s flesh, blood dripping from his palm, but the tormenting anger that was building within him was so overwhelming he did not even feel the pain. As seconds passed, his face contorted with rage and his eyes darkened with jealousy.  You. Smiled. At. Him.

That was definitely not okay — the man did not deserve your blissful smile. 

Deafened by the sound of his own heart pounding in his tight chest, Arthur swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat in a vain attempt to keep control. To not let his anger issue show. The rational part of his mind was telling him to keep calm, for he knew you loved him and only him. You had told him plenty of times, after all. And he trusted you, really. But the other part, led by his insecurities and his mental instability, whispered foul insinuations to his ear.

Why would she stay with such a criminal like you? You’re sick. You’re old. You’re broken — and no one loves broken men. 

You’re stupid, far less clever and charming than Tommy. HE is a real man. 

You either scare or repel women. Linda told you. You don’t deserve Heaven. 

Useless. So useless… Broken. Crazy, you’re fucking crazy. She’ll see what you are. A monster. Monster. Monster. 

Arthur’s jaw clenched as his mind spiraled into a never-ending maze of whipping thoughts and insufferable feelings. Self-loathing was becoming too much to bear — so messy it had started to drown him. He felt his sanity slowly slipping through the cracks of his skull and the only thing he could to do make it stop was to break things. And by things he meant Jim. 

“Listen, Jim. I think you should go back home and rest. This is the whiskey talking.” You stated.

“Only if you come home with me, doll.” He ought to say, his grin widening. 

Breathless with rage, Arthur felt the heat pooling in his face. A few drops of sweat beaded on his forehead as he shook his wounded hand to clear his flesh from the shards of glass.

“You really should —“

“Come home with me and I’ll make you beg.” He cut off before you had time to turn his invitation down , bringing his hand on one of your thighs to strengthen his point.

Destructive anger flowed through his veins like lava,  exploding at the moment the man laid a finger upon you. Agile like a wild cat, Arthur jumped over the counter and rushed toward you, his shoulders tensed and his arms swinging as he walked.  Earth shook under his feet, opening the gates of Hell more and more at each of his steps. 

“AL-FUCKING-RIGHT THEN,” He blurted out, standing fiercely behind Jim. Arthur’s thundering voice almost made him jump — and it was enough for him to take his hand off your thigh and turned around to meet the Devil’s eyes. You froze on your stool, astounded by your man’s anger.

His face distorted with both fear and confusion at the sight of Arthur Shelby, green with jealousy and maddened with fury, “What the fookin hell did ya say, pal? WHAT THE FOOK DID YOU SAY TO ME WOMAN?” He roared, blue eyes shining with a threatening glow. At this point, Arthur was almost choking with rage. 

“Oh my God Arthur, I did not know she was your woman. I’m sorry! I really did not —“ Jim could not finish his sentence for Arthur had grabbed him by the neck and dragged him away from you in front of the few last clients' terrified looks.

“You TOUCHED her! You bloody touched her, ME ANGEL. ME HEAVEN. I can’t fucking believe it,” He spat, his words coated with bitter venom. Swirling in the chaotic vortex of his own fury, he did not hear the man’s bargains. And somehow, he did not care. There was nothing he could say to stop him anymore. Jim tried to utter another apology.

He had barely opened his mouth when Arthur’s fist crushed his nose with such a violent blow the sound of broken bones echoed through the Garrison. The man, almost knocked out by the uppercut, crashed on the wooden floor, a jet of blood gushing from his face, “Oi! Thought you fought in France. Come on, bastard! Fight me!” He snarled, teeth bared like a wild animal.

He’s going to kill him. That was what crossed your mind when you came back to your senses, overcoming the shock of seeing Arthur in such a frenzy state. You got up from your stool, “Arthur… Stop it please.” You called him, trying to be as soft as possible not to fan the flames of his anger. 

“I AM NOT GONNA STOP!” He barked, looking at you.

He looked at you 

and you saw the Hell in his eyes.

“Heard how he dared to talk to ye? Ah, you wanted to make me angel beg eh?” Arthur kneeled over the whimpering man, almost straddling his quivering body, to grab him by the collar of his coat, “Yeah that’s what you said right. But trust me, you sonofabitch, I’m the one who’ll make you beg!” He yelled, sending another powerful blast to the man’s face with his fists as sole weapons, adorned with thick silver rings. “BEG, YOU BASTARD!”

“P-please—“

Another disgusting sound of torn flesh and cracking skull filled the room. “By order —“ A third punch. Breaking teeth. Jim spat three of them at your feet. “Of the —“  Fourth. Fifth. His knuckles bruised and split under the strength of his blows but Arthur could not care less. All he wanted was to reduce Jim’s face to an unidentifiable slop of flesh.  “Peaky —“  Dislocated jaw hanging loosely. The horrible sight was accompanied by the cacophony of bloody gurgles. “Fookin — “ Jim had lost count of the punches that rained down on him. All he knew was that his body was giving up. At one point Arthur Shelby had stopped beating him, only to unstrapped the combat knife he kept in his holster, “BLINDERS!” 

“ARTHUR NO!!!”  Running to the scene and falling on your knees, you managed to grab his hands and keep him from stabbing the drunk man, “Don’t do that, please I need you. Please, please stop it.” 

Please.

Your voice, like a light piercing the thick veil of his darkness, snatched him from his murderous craze. Waking up by the smell of blood mixed with your sweet spring-like perfume, Arthur stopped in the midst of what he was doing and realized he was holding a knife above his head, ready to plunge it into a man’s chest. He took a look at you, noticing the shocked expression on your holy face, and all his anger disappeared into a void. His fingers loosened around the knife, which fell on the wooden floor with a metallic noise, “please Arthur, calm down… Call down, Mon amour.” You whispered, begging him with your eyes. Silence fell on the Garrison, as well as in his mind. The maddening voices had stopped and the buzzing hatred had vanished. Arthur left the unconscious man and collapsed in your arms, panting and shaking. Adrenaline made you shiver too, but you gently hugged his frame, one hand stroking his hair, “That’s okay… I’m here …”  You repeated just like a healing chant as a few men grabbed the severely injured victim and took him away from the pub.

“I’m … I’m sorry— Heaven, oh my god —“ Arthur stuttered, slowly realizing what he just did. He buried his face in your breasts, for comfort as well as to hide the blood that had splattered on him. He barely dared to hug your frail body for fear of breaking you.  Sometimes, he swore he had hell in his hands and he did not want to bring you down in the flames with him. 

“Shhhh… Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do it.”  You said with a soothing tone. With divine softness, you ran your fingers through his hair, not minding the blood he smeared on your clothes and bosom, “that’s okay, you’re a good boy..” But as you were trying to chase away your man’s demons, a far too familiar voice echoed in the room.

“What the fuck is this mess?!” Thomas Shelby exclaimed for he had just entered the Garrison, John by his side. His freezing blue eyes looked at you from above.  The king was here and he hated what he saw.

“John, bring Arthur home. Everyone OUT.” 

This was all it took to empty the Garrison from its remaining clients. When John gently put his hand on his older brother’s shoulder, Arthur’s embrace tightened around your tiny silhouette for he did not want to leave you.  “No,” he managed to beg between two heartbreaking sobs. His face still hidden, not daring to look at you for fear of seeing disgust and anger in your eyes, Arthur refused to let you go. Somehow, he was convinced you would not go back home — why would you after what you had just witnessed? “Don’t take me away from her!”  He said, a bit more fiercely, which resulted in John taking a few steps back and looking at you, silently begging you to help him. In the midst of the chaos, only you could bring him back to his senses. A brief sigh escaped from your lips before you gently forced Arthur to look at you.

“Listen, chéri. I need you to go back home and calm down. I’ll be very quick.” 

“No, no, you won’t come back.” 

“ I’ll do,” You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, accidentally smearing more blood on his face doing so, “and when I do, I’ll take care of you alright? I’ll keep you warm and loved.” Punctuating your sentence with affection, you slicked his hair back with a frail but oh-so-loving grin on your face. He finally accepted.

When he left alongside John, your smile vanished and you got up from the floor, legs still slightly shaking. Thomas was still standing in the middle of the pub, towering you with all his height, and looking at you with his cold eyes. His chilling stare followed your movements as you walked to the bar and poured yourself another glass of wine.

“I told you to keep a low profile,” He began. Thomas Shelby’s voice was dressed in an apparent quiet, but something in his tone was threatening — and even though he did not display any sign of emotion, you knew his blood was boiling.

“Oh come on Thomas, all I wanted was to make a surprise to Arthur.” You took a mouthful of wine — the much-needed alcohol calming your anxiety.

Thomas closed his eyes for a few seconds and pinched the bridge of his nose to stop his dawning headache, “ A surprise… I hope you like the result then,” He retorted, before shifting his eyes back to you,

“Listen, I know you don’t like me but — ” 

“He nearly killed someone for you. What the fuck are you doing to my brother, eh?” Tommy slightly tilted his head to the side, a spark of resentment lightening up his icy iris. You remained silent, still not believing Thomas was really blaming you for Arthur’s outburst. Of course, you had not reacted immediately, but the shock had petrified you for a few long minutes — but was it your fault if he had beaten the man? Certainly not. At this point, Tommy was just lashing out at you for all the issues his family was facing. It was far easier than admitting his own flaws and responsibility. Visibly infuriated by your silence,  Tommy walked to you and stopped only a few inches from you, trapping your body between the counter and his own strong frame. He was close — so close your breasts were almost pressed against his chest, “Look me in the eyes when I fucking talk to you, Heaven.” He spat your name with disgust, as if he had just bitten into an apple filled with maggots.

“Get my pretty name out of your mouth,” You looked dagger at him, anger rushing through your veins at such an unwanted proximity. Yet you did not flicker.

“You fucking white Devil,” He hissed through his teeth, his low voice still calm in spite of his blooming hatred, “Are you happy to spread chaos in our life? What do you want from us ey?” He leaned over you, bringing his face closer to yours. With his brows slightly furrowed, Tommy’s sky blue eyes were probing yours, trying to understand the mystery they hid behind their aquamarine wonders, ”What do you want from me?! After Arthur is this me you want to control??” He growled. Your heart raced in your chest — shivers ran down your spine, and goosebumps appeared on your porcelain skin, for his unpredictable behavior was starting to worry you.

“I don’t want anything from you Thomas Shelby. Whether you like it or not I’m being honest with your brother. You know Arthur’s emotional, you can’t blame me for that.  You take away his meds, turn him into a killer, and now you’re surprised he snaps?? How. Fucking. Unbelievable! Do you know what I think? Well, I think you need me to be your scapegoat . You need to blame me for your sins. For everyone’s sins.”

“Fucking burn in hell,” He spat again but could not find something to retort properly. It seemed like the skies gave you the gift of shutting Thomas Shelby's mouth. Instead, one of his hands grabbed you by the neck and forced your face to get closer to his. His breath fanned over your skin, as burning as a dragon’s fire.

“Be careful with the Rule of Three, Thomas. For each spell you cast always returns to you three times stronger.”  You whispered. Then you gathered all your remaining strength to push him away from you, his musky and peculiar perfume almost making your head spin.  Not wanting to stay here any longer — and also longing for a hot shower to wash away the blood from your skin —, you headed to the Garrison’s door. Obviously, Tommy’s eyes followed you but he did not say anything, muted by his resentment. Admittedly, he was torn between the urge to bounce on you and the desire to see you leave. You were about to disappear, the cold breeze of the night jumping at your face and rushing into the pub as you opened the wooden door. But your instincts kicked in. After a few seconds of hesitation, you finally decided to warn little king Shelby.

“By the way..." You looked at Thomas from above your shoulder.

"You should keep an eye on Charles. You really should.” 

He froze. Confused and infuriated.

You left. Hurt and bitter.

When you came back home, you crossed your reflection in the corridor’s mirror.  Your body refused to work anymore and forced you to stop in front of it. Facing your own person was something you hated. With trembling fingers, you brushed the blood stain Arthur had left on one of your cheeks.

Mom! Mom, no!!

I’ll fucking kill you all!!

You clenched your jaw at the memory it triggered, but still, you kept looking at your tainted ivory skin as if you were slowly learning to come to terms with what you did and what you were. Your fingers trailed down your throat until they grazed the top of your bosom, where the blood had accumulated the most. Another painful memory assaulted your mind, replaying the aching, almost inhuman screams of your little sister when her flesh had been eaten alive by the hungry tongues of the pyre’s flames.

Only God knew how you managed to keep your mind from spiraling into the darkest pits of your trauma, but you did — maybe that was because Arthur needed you. That protective instinct was stronger than your own pain. That was why you tricked your body into moving away from the mirror and went upstairs to take a hot shower before joining your man in bed. John had probably managed to convince him to sleep. Or his body had collapsed on the mattress, exhausted by the energy poured in his latest outburst.

As the running water of the shower was filling the bathroom with its regular and soothing noise, you slowly let your white dress slip along your body until it fell on the floor, as well as your lace panties. You stepped over the pile of clothes and, without waiting any longer, you hopped under the shower and welcomed its warm water with utter joy. A sigh of relief escaped from your lips as you tilted your head back, water hugging your body and raining down on your long white mane that cascaded down your lower back. You almost managed to empty your mind when, suddenly, one gentle calloused hand brushed your hip. Jumping in surprise, you turn around and saw that Arthur had joined you under the shower. His hands, arms, and face were still splattered with half-dried blood he had not cleaned. To be true, he had been too busy curling up on the bedroom floor, panicking about at the idea of you leaving him after what you had witnessed.

“You’re here…” His gravel voice said, water falling on his naked body whose millions of freckles drew magnificent constellations on his skin.

“Told you I’d come back.”  

He smiled, softly. His steel blue had stopped avoiding you and was now firmly anchored in yours.

 He took a step toward you.

You stepped back in response until your bare body met the cold shower wall.

Your pulse quickened, fascinated by the way Arthur looked. He had something in his eyes — a mix of limerence and pure madness who, combined with the crimson stains on his face, made your legs weak. His breath was slow but yours soon became erratic, even though he had barely touched you yet. 

“You ain’t scared, love? Please, tell me you ain’t scared of your Arthur…” He said, his lower lip trembling as his body perfectly interlocked with yours. A small growl escaped from his throat at the intoxicating sensation of yours curves pressed against his skin. But despite his inextinguible desire, he still looked at you with hesitation and genuine guilt — his puppy eyes would surely break anyone’s heart.

“No, I’m not scared,” You replied, not shifting your gaze from him. The corner of your juicy and honey lips stretched in a small grin, “You…” You paused, bringing one hand to his stained cheek, “you look pretty with blood all over your face.”  

Arthur’s eyes lightened with both surprise and ravaging desire, for you had witnessed the beast’s violence but still thought he was attractive. A twisted wave of arousal shook you to the core when he bared his teeth in a vaguely dangerous but oh-so-seductive smirk.

“Oh bloody hell, angel…” Not finishing his sentence, his lips captured yours in a fury kiss for he could not wait any longer. The need to possess you, to feel you, was too devastatingly strong to resist. At first, his lustful kiss surprised you, and even though you burnt for him l, a part of you felt it was wrong to feel this kind of twisted attraction. Last thing Arthur needed was someone encouraging his violence — but your brain soon shut down at the thought he did it for you. Only you. Your arms locked up around his neck to deepen the waltz of your tongues, sending fireworks in your loins. It was far than enough to turn Arthur on who, all of sudden, lifted you from the ground as if you weighted nothing.

You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, already suffocating with the hungry way he devoured your mouth and the shower’s steam accumulating around you.

As water rained down on your two intertwined bodies, it washed away the blood from your skins. The tainted liquid disappeared down the drain, leaving pale red stains on the bathtub's immaculate marble. 

You kissed him harder. Rougher. Until his flesh dived into yours in an explosion of pleasure and shooting stars.

For you had seen the Hell in his eyes, and loved it anyway. 

Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

Each chapter of this series can be read as stand-alones but I advise you to read everything if you want a better understanding of details.

Tagging those who might be interested: @areyenotfondofmelobster @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08

[hairmetal666]

After the Russians, Steve learns three important things about himself:

Robin is the best friend he's ever had; the uncontested other half of his heart. His soulmate, the platonic love of his life, his missing puzzle piece.

He's not in love with Nancy anymore. It's really saying something that hearing those words come out of his mouth is the shock of his life. Once the drugs wear off, though, he realizes they were absolutely true. A surprising win for the Russian truth serum

Her bathroom confession...he sits with it for days. Not--not because she's a lesbian, of course not, but because. Well, Robin knows herself in a way he's never allowed himself to. And he thinks that maybe maybe he likes boys in the same way. That he always has, but never let himself acknowledge it, the way his eyes wanted to catch in the locker room, the drunken, fumbling touches between him and Tommy.

The last one...he's not sure, is the thing. How can he be sure? Like, in his mind, his imagination, he's very into it, but what if it's different in real life? And how can he even find out? He tells, Robin, of course he does, and they go to Indy, right, to a bookstore and she throws a few zines at him and he sneaks some porn (he's definitely into the porn), but that's not--it's not practical experience. And he's not ready to go to one of the bars, for sure, so he doesn't--like what's he supposed to do?

It's around this time in his bisexual spiral that the kids start hanging out with Eddie Munson, that he starts thinking about Eddie Munson. He always noticed the long, dark curls and the bright, brown eyes; the slender cut of his waist; the wry slant of his mouth as he shouted insults at the jocks; the glinting silver of the rings on his fingers--fingers that were long and callused, fingers that could grip around Steve's--

Nope, he's not going there. Even though, a little voice in his head says, he cares for Steve's kids and maybe he's not good at school but he's smart and he's also so pretty, with his pale skin and his big eyes--

No. He doesn't have a crush on Eddie Munson. Absolutely not.

And when he picks up the kids from their little dnd club and sees Munson standing against his van, he doesn't feel an electric zing in his chest, the first stirring of butterflies in his stomach; that would be crazy. They hardly know each other. It goes like this every time, and he's almost able to believe he doesn't care.

Until Eddie trips over the threshold of Family Video, stumbling on an untied bootlace and gangling his way through the front doors. The clatter catches both Robin and Steve's attention.

"Welcome to Family Video," Robin says. Steve stares.

"Uhh." Eddie's eyes flit between them, his face getting redder by the second.

Fuck, he's so cute and Steve's saying--without thinking about it, he's saying--"let me help you find a movie, man."

"Yea--sure, yeah." Eddie's hands are stuffed in the tight pocket of his jeans.

Steve takes a few steps down the closest aisle. "So, what--uh, what are you looking for?"

"Horror? Nothing in particular."

They make their way to the horror section, and it's like some insane, deeply horny demon takes over. He starts grabbing movies off the shelf, no rhyme or reason, doesn't even know what most of them are.

Eddie's staring at him with wide eyes and a raised eyebrow, and Steve just keeps grabbing tapes, is sort of doing a running commentary on titles and tag lines, and he can't stop, why can't he stop? it's like smoke is coming out of his ears. Robin is watching him from the counter with her mouth hanging open, gummy worm dangling down her chin.

"You know," Eddie grabs something from the shelf, "I think I'll just do Friday the 13th again. Can't go wrong."

And he leaves Steve standing there with half the horror section collected in his arms. He stays there while Eddie pays, face burning. It's been--well, a really long time since he's struck out so hard, and he wasn't even really trying.

As Eddie's walking out the door, his sad pile of movies shifts, then tumbles to the floor.

"You have a crush on Eddie Munson." Robin accuses.

"No!" He ducks down to collect the tapes, hoping to hide the crimson of his face.

"You do." She points an accusatory finger in his direction. "I haven't seen you this pathetic since Scoops."

"It's nothing."

"You know," she crouches down with him, "you could just, like. Try to hang out with him."

"After that? Are you kidding? I'm surprised you don't already have a new You Rule/You Suck board going."

"Oh, I do, it's up front." She jumps to her feet. "But still. You should try. And you have an easy in with the kids."

He glares at her in response, starts re-shelving all the dumb movies, and then they get busy, so the topic is dropped. He thinks about it thought. He thinks about it and he--

Instead of waiting in the car for the kids to get done at Hellfire the next time, he goes in.

[pinkie-quinns]

rocker eddie/actor steve | exes to ?? | fame au p2 | p1 p3 p4 p5 interlude p6

The picture itself is not incriminating.

In the five years since Eddie’s wet dog apology they have been cordial to each other. Eddie seemed to have finally grown up. Finally got the hint. He doesn’t bug Steve after that night. He stays in his lane.

After a few years it’s a nod at a charity event. A half-smile at the town’s trendy new restaurant. A card when Steve gets an Emmy nod for his HBO series. Steve tries to not mind it. Tries to not let it get under his skin. He doesn’t send Eddie anything when he gets his Grammy.

LA is a small town. Eddie moved back once he finished his first tour. Steve does his best to keep his circle separate but LA is a small town. He nearly ends up at Eddie’s 30th after his coworker tries to drag him to some “rager in Loz Feliz.”

Sometimes, after another break up leaves him feeling shit-all, Steve drives past their dingy old place in West Hollywood. Tries to picture the version of the story where Eddie wasn’t eaten by his monster ego. Lets himself imagine them happy. Lets himself cry over it again. Like it happened yesterday instead of a decade ago.

But then he blinks and it’s been twelve years and yeah, maybe he hasn’t felt home like he did with Eddie, maybe no one else has fit him quite so right. But maybe he was just young and everything felt bigger then.

He feels weirdly at peace about it all. It’s not forgiveness, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to stomach that, but it is acceptance. It took a long time to scar but it's finally just a faded pink line. He’s happy.

And then the photo starts to circulate.

The picture itself is not incriminating.

It’s their old WeHo apartment. Eddie’s hopped on the grimy kitchen counter, acoustic guitar in hand. He’s smiling at Steve and Steve is leaned against the wall and he’s smiling back. And it’s Them. And Steve thinks they’ve never looked so young.

He doesn’t know who took the photo. Maybe Robin or Nancy or Jon. They visited a lot in that first year.

He doesn’t know how it ended up digitized, posted to a random pop culture subreddit.

What he does know is that he and Eddie have never publicly acknowledged each other.

The internet treats the picture like a cute little chachki in the first few days. A buzzpop factoid #67. It’s “Did you know Tommy Lee Jones and Al Gore were college roommates?”

But then news outlets were picking it up. And Eddie was halfway through promoting his third album.

They’re dead lucky the picture is not incriminating.

Steve’s still not technically out– he’s had quiet relationships with men but his team preferred a starlet on his arm at the carpets.

Eddie’s out the way a rockstar is. He’d fuck anything as long as it made him a pervert.

Their teams move fast.

The official story is that they’d both moved to LA to pursue their careers. They roomed together because they knew each other from their small town. Then Steve booked his show and Eddie moved to London and they lost touch.

Eddie repeats it on talk show after talk show. He lies and says they’re still friendly now, but their schedules keep them both so busy. They haven’t caught up in a while. He goes wistful when he says it. Steve tries not to feel downright bitter. It does quiet the chatter down.

In November, his manager tells him he’s presenting at the Golden Globes. The studio had asked him specifically, still under contract to promote their animated movie. He agrees cause he needs eyes on the tiny indie he'd finally gotten made.

In December, he finds out who he’s presenting with.

Steve throws a fit. It’s uncharacteristic. It’s not at all in line with the nice-guy persona he’s spent years cultivating. But they’ve managed to get this far without him actually having to talk to the guy. He doesn’t ever want to have to talk to Eddie Munson again.

His manager lures him off the ledge. It’s too late to change the line-up. He's put in years of work to get his movie made. She reminds him that it’s Hollywood. Everyone has to deal with this shit. Not worth blowing it all up because he can’t handle 30 minutes with his ex.

So Steve plays nice but Eddie skips out on rehearsal. Of fucking course. Twelve years and he’s still so predictable.

Steve reads the teleprompter next to a random PA and decides then and there to say Fuck Healing. He did that. And now he’s being punished. Again. He’s fucking pissed.

He’s pissed that the photo got out. He’s pissed at whoever leaked it. He’s pissed enough to convince himself it was Eddie. He’s pissed Eddie’s shouldering his way back into his life even if it wasn’t him.

And yeah, he’s still fucking pissed that Eddie left in the first place.

Steve first sees him on the carpet. It’s from a distance, and he’s determined to keep it that way for as long as possible. He wishes Eddie dashed for the real thing too, but he knows his ego couldn’t take the blow. Eddie Munson loves attention too much.

Eddie looks great, cause he’s a celebrity & it’s a 10-person job to make him look great.

Eddie looks great cause he’s always looked great. Even when his hair was all frizz and his hygiene habits were questionable at best. And Steve hates him but his dick has never gotten the memo.

Steve deals with it by drinking a lot. It’s the Globes! He sits at his table and smiles and they give him alcohol and he drinks it. It’s stupid and it’s reckless and it’s the only thing that’s gonna get him through this torture. So he picks at his ugly velvet suit and he drinks.

The wranglers grab them 20 minutes before they’re set to present. It’s earlier than usual but Munson’s been known to dash.

They’re sitting on opposite couches in the green room. Eddie’s vibrating. Leg jittering nonstop. Steve’s starting to feel woozy. They’re not talking.

After five minutes, Eddie clicks his tongue and gets up. “Gonna take a leak.” His wrangler starts after him. “Follow me and I cut off your dick.”

Steve looks at the kid, weighing tearily whether his job was more important than his penis, “I’ll- I'll make sure he’s back on time.”

Steve stumbles riled down the hall, opens the door with a slam, “You leak the photo, Munson?”

Eddie’s already washing his hands. Steve catches his reflection in the mirror. He looks weirdly hurt.

“Steve,” Eddie says his name so... sad, “C’mon, man. I- I wouldn’t do that.”

Steve laughs cold, puts his hands in his suit pockets. “Sure, yeah, man. You’d just disappear for seven years. Come back with some horseshit apology because you finally got what you wanted. Cause your ego could finally handle being around me. But sure. You wouldn’t do that.”

Eddie steps back into the wall, looks at Steve with those watery brown eyes. They’re framed by crows feet now. “Steve, I–”

Steve boxes him in, makes it so he can’t slip away this time, “You know there was a week there where I thought you'd fucking died.”

He feels like a live wire. He feels every awful thing he’s felt for a dozen years bubble to the surface.

“Mike Wheeler told me where you went. Mike. Wheeler. I thought you were dead in a ditch, you asshole. Thought I’d lost you forever. But no. You just skipped town– Skipped town because I loved you and you fucking hated me.”

He doesn’t know when grabbed a fist into Eddie’s shirt. He wants to tear it. It’s probably insured.

“Stevie,” Eddie’s blubbering. Their faces are close enough that Steve can see his lip quivering. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.”

Now Steve really wants to laugh. Baby. It’s such garbage. Total bullshit.

“I wish you’d died. It would’ve hurt less.” He says it dry, with his big wide movie-star smile. Then he spits, bullseye on Eddie’s cheek, “I fucking hate you.”

It’s so strange to see Eddie up close after all this time. He’s blurry in the memories but so vivid here, so harsh. Makeup cracking into nicotine wrinkles. Different. A mask of the person Steve knew.

He breathes, “I know.”

----

Eddie's tongue still tastes the same.

[callmelittlebuttercup]

Man Up - One Shot

Pairing: Jackson!Joel x f!Reader

Summary: After hearing from his brother, maria, and Ellie that Joel likes you, you confront him and tell him that he needs to “man up”.

Warnings: Fluff!! Menacing!Joel, use of problematic language, Joel and reader are emotionally stunted, rom-com type flirtiness, Joel is "happy" and all of the Ellie stuff never happened and they're living happily ever after because I said so! :))))))

BEFORE YOU READ: I do not condone telling ANYONE of any gender to “man up” because I know it is a hurtful and dehumanizing term. However, in this context, both the reader and Joel are extremely emotionally stunted and the reader is only using the term to get a rise out of Joel (which is still toxic, but is anything with Joel Miller ever going to be non-toxic? Let’s be real with ourselves LOL.) With that being said, keep in mind this is fiction, it is being said “for the plot”, and I do not condone the use of this language towards anyone else. I love you guys and enjoy!  

~~~~~~

“He’s into you. You really can’t see it?” Maria asked as she watched you finish washing your hands in the bathroom of the Tipsy Bison. “I don’t know, Maria. It’s been so long since someone’s been ‘into me’ or I’ve been ‘into someone’... It’s also just so confusing. Plus it’s fucking Joel Miller. The guy hates everyone.” You lamented. ���Everyone but you!” Ellie chimed in as she opened the door to her stall and joined you at the sink. “See?” Maria said, gesturing towards Ellie, “Even the person who’s known him the longest says so.” You rolled your eyes.  “Well, she’s not even supposed to be here. It’s a bar and she’s 16 years old.” You pointed out. The three of you laughed as you took Ellie into a playful headlock. “But she’s cute so I made an exception.” Maria chuckled. You and Ellie broke away from each other, smiling. “For fear of embarrassment, I’ve been trying to let him make the first move.” You said, leaning against the sink. “Maybe he’s doing the same.” Maria suggested. “Guess we’ll never know.” You sighed dramatically and moved to exit the bathroom. The two of them followed behind you. “What is there to lose?” Ellie questioned. “My patrol partner, my… friend?” You answered smartly. “But the world has already ended, girl, I think that’s enough of a reason to say fuck it and just ask him out. I had to make the first move with Tommy.” Maria paused and then continued, “The Millers are all rough and tumble, until it comes to feelings, then they run away with their tail between their legs.” Ellie laughed, “That’s for sure.” Soon enough, you guys neared the table that you three and the two brothers had taken for yourselves, you whispered under your breath, “Well, he needs to man up.” 

Joel locked eyes with you as you approached and quickly slid over in the booth to make room for you. You clocked this and filed it in the “evidence that Joel likes me” file in your brain, and proceeded to sit down next to him. The four of you drank and talked while Ellie played pool with Dina. Every so often you’d hear a playful argument break out between the two and you’d catch sight of Joel’s smile. He was happy Ellie had a friend, and so were you. 

After you downed the last of your drink, you sat up from your slump in the booth and grabbed your coat. “Well, I think I’m gonna turn in. Gotta be up tomorrow for patrol.” You said as you stood at the end of the table awkwardly. “Do you want us to walk you home?” Tommy asked, gesturing to him and Maria. “Joel will, right Joel?” Ellie asked with a mischievous glint in her eye. Joel cleared his throat and shot Ellie a look, “Who will take your sorry ass home then?” He asked. “We will,” Maria chimed in, “I don’t mind doin’ a switch off.” This time you shot her a look. You were tipsy and on the brink of getting a headache and the last thing you wanted to do was force a conversation with a brick wall named Joel Miller. Though much to your surprise, he stood up and began to shepherd you out of the bar. “See you guys later!” You called back to the group. “Get home safe!” Maria called. “Don’t do anythin’ I wouldn’t do!” Tommy called. You caught sight of Ellie making kissy faces at you and you promptly stuck your tongue out at her. Joel caught sight of you and said, “Don’t make faces at my kid.” You saw the half smile on his face and chuckled. “Your kid’s making faces at me.” You said drunkenly. 

Joel pushed the door open and you practically stumbled out into the chilling winter air. The sun had set long ago, leaving only the thousands of stars to contrast against the pitch black sky. You hadn’t realized that you’d stopped to stare until Joel broke your focus, “You comin’ or what?” He asked impatiently. “Yeah,” you said groggily, “Sorry.” You hurried to catch up and matched his stride. “God… I’m drunk.” You sighed, mostly to yourself. “I know.” Joel mumbled. “Y’know I can walk myself home.” You said defensively. “You just said it yourself, you’re drunk. Not safe.” He argued. “Yeah well at least if I was by myself there’d be better conversation.” You joked. “Ah, so you’re a belligerent, mumbling drunk.” He said, keeping his proud gaze on the streets ahead. “At least I’m the same exact person but just a little more talkative when I’m drunk like you.” You argued. “Shut up.” He chuffed, a small smile crinkled his eyes. You nudged your shoulder into his arm, sending him a few steps to the side, “You shut up.” 

He rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face disappeared when you arrived at the steps of your house. He followed you up and waited patiently as you fumbled in your pockets for your keys. “Want coffee or anythin’?” You asked. He thought for a moment, then nodded, “Sure. Could use some for the walk home.” Once you practically busted the door open, the two of you walked to your kitchen and Joel perched himself on a stool at the counter as he watched you sloppily make a pot of coffee. “I’m glad Ellie met Dina. She seems real happy since hanging out with her.” You said, attempting to break through the awkward silence. Joel nodded, “She’s a good friend. They compete a lot in school which helps with her uh… performance or whatever.” You nodded and handed him the steaming mug. 

After the two of you sipped your coffees and talked about practically nothing in small spurts between silence, Joel placed his mug in the sink and picked his coat up off of the chair before sliding it over his shoulders. You watched as he made his way to the door, and  you nodded in agreement when he said “I should head home. I’ll see you in the mornin’ for patrols.” But something burned inside you. Something you could only guess was impatience. You decided that now, the time where you had some liquid courage warming your stomach and caffeine pumping through your veins, would be as good a time as any to get an answer out of Joel. 

“When are you gonna man up?” You blurted just before Joel could place his hand on the doorknob. He whirled around angrily. “Excuse me?” He sneered. There was no going back now, so you crossed your arms over your chest and repeated yourself, slower this time. “When are you going to man up?” He stared at you in disbelief for a moment and you watched as his eyes studied you, waiting for you to take back your words. “Man up?” He scoffed. “Yeah.” You confirmed anxiously. Your heart jumped to your throat as he began to walk back towards you  slowly. “Man up… and what?” He asked as he backed you against the wall, causing you to nearly lose your footing. You looked above your head at the veins pulsing in his forearm which was now planted against the wall. His face was inches from yours and you could smell the whiskey you’d shared on his breath. You gulped, “And- and admit you like me.” Your stomach dropped when he let out a dead eyed laugh. “Like you? What- is this middle school? We whisperin’ about crushes now?” He mocked. Embarrassment filled your chest and all you wanted to do was push him away, run up stairs and wrap yourself in the covers of your bed. “Fuck,” you said under your breath, “just forget it. Fuck.” You pressed your hands against his chest and tried to push him off, but he wasn’t budging. “‘Course I like you.” he finally said and pressed your arms down in an attempt to get you to stop pushing him away. You locked eyes with him again, “What?” You blurted. You were confused from being pushed in so many directions that you didn’t know what to think at this point. “I ain’t the best with words… but I’ve been tryin’ to show you.” He whispered. 

His soft stare was healing every wound that had been inflicted by his sharp one earlier.  Your breath caught in your throat as he leaned down to press his lips to yours. A feeling of tv static coursed through your veins. From the top of your neck, down through your fingertips and toes. Adrenaline caused your hands to start shaking, but Joel grabbed them and pushed them around his neck before he wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing further into the kiss. When he pulled away, your foreheads pressed together. “That man enough for you?” He asked, a small smirk twisting the corner of his lips upward. You smiled lightly and played with a tuft of hair at the base of his skull before tugging it lightly. “Congratulations, Mr. Miller. You’ve officially grown a pair.” You teased before pulling him into you for an even deeper kiss. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: Hiiii! I hope you enjoyed this little rom-com-esque vibe. As always, thank you for reading and please comment below to be on the tag-list or with any requests! <3

Taglist: @ashleyfilm @pastelpinkflowerlife @orcasoul

[hiddenzev]

Second Confession: Part 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: She finally confesses her feelings to Joel

Chapter Warnings - Angst, One-sided love, Unrequited Love, Idiots in Love, (let me know if i missed anything)

WC: 4.2k

series masterlist , AO3

A/N: Damn guys, I didn't expect a lot of people to like this story. Thank you for all the likes and comments!! Anyway, please excuse my poor writing :(( I'm trying my best. There might be a few mistakes I've missed. I really wanted to make it so angsty but i'm lacking it sadly. Hope you guys enjoy this next part tho. :)

The rising sun is up painting the sky with beautiful rosy hue this morning. Compared to the beautiful morning, you didn’t get to have a good sleep. You were tossing and turning in your bed overthinking about today. It’s your first patrol with Joel and there’s some many thoughts running through your head playing out how it may go. You make your way, noticing that Joel must have left his house already as you pass by his house.

As you reach the ranch, you notice that Joel is checking the horse while Tommy is by his side saying something to him. Maria is standing further away with another horse which you believe to be in your care for patrols.

Maria notices you and calls you out. Both men turn to look at your form coming closer. Joel takes a quick glance at you before returning his attention back to his horse. You exchange greetings with Maria before walking over to the men.

“Morning!” You greet them.

“Morning. How are you feeling?” Tommy asks you.

“Not bad.” you lied. You’re used to doing patrols but this time it’s different because of a certain man.

“I’ve told this guy to look out for you out there, not that I think you’re not capable of taking care of yourself,” Tommy rambles on beside Joel.

“That’s fine. I get it Tommy,” You gave him a small smile.

“We’re just looking out for you because you’re our friend and this guy has a certain reputation of him y’know.” Tommy says without any care that his brother is next to him listening to what he says.

You nod and cautiously glance at Joel who has his back on you. You pick up your courage to talk to him.

“Hi Joel.” trying to hide the slight tremble in your voice to sound normal.

Joel turns slowly before stepping closer to you. Your eyes are on him the entire time. It’s insane how you are lost in his honey brown eyes that you are seeing up close for the first time since you’ve known him. You can’t help but hold your breath when he bend down slightly to look you in the eyes.

“You better not slow me down. Don’t think that just because you’re good friends with Tommy and Ellie, I will go easy on you,” he pause, “because I won’t.”

You stare at him for a few seconds before you speak, “Didn’t tell you to go easy on me.” You said in a calm voice. You are not that affected by what he said because you knew his grumpy ass is annoyed with you joining him for patrols.

His eyes widen slightly with a certain glint in his eyes. You find it cute seeing him flustered. Not wanting to break into a smile, you turn to go to your horse by Maria.

“You ready to go?” Maria asks you.

“Yup all good,” you say while inspecting your horse.

“What did you say to him? He seems pissed off,” Maria eyes Joel “Can’t stop looking over here.”

You shrug your shoulders while stroking the horse’s neck.

“You know how he is,” you smile affectionately at the horse.

“You’re sure you gonna be ok with him out there?”

“Yes I’m sure, Maria. You know me.” You reassure her.

They know that you mostly keep to yourself and mind your own business most of the time. You’re more of an observer than anything else. You try not to be socially awkward but you can’t help it sometimes. However, you don’t take any shit from anyone. You will stand up for yourself if anyone disrespect you or your loved ones. You’re not a pushover, you can be stubborn sometimes and you know exactly what you want.

Both you and Joel mount the horses and make your way to the gates with Joel leading the way. You exchange a few words with Tommy and Maria before getting out of there.

It was silent the whole time with Joel in the woods. The man didn’t even make a sound, not even a sigh. Instead, the sounds you can hear are the soft rustling of leaves when the calm morning breeze hits them, the faint chirps of the birds, the crunch of leaves and twigs below you and more of the subtle, soothing sounds of the nature.

You try to focus on checking your surroundings but your gaze will always land on Joel’s broad back in front of you. You openly observe him from behind, looking at every one of his curls that you wish you could touch. You wish to caress his head slowly, taking your time to really feel him on your fingertips. Oh you so badly wish to press your body against his back, wrap your arms around his torso and take in his scent. You can only wonder how it would feel.

You close your eyes for a few seconds to will yourself to not think about him this way.p right now. The silence from him kills you. You try to break the silence by striking a conversation.

“The weather’s good this morning, don’t you think?”

No response from him, prompting you to keep talking.

“Don’t you feel guilty appreciating something simple like the weather during a world like this?”

He is still staying silent.

“Do you love music?”

This time, he turn his head slowly to look at you with a hard glare before opening his mouth.

“Do you ever stop talking?” He said it sarcastically.

“Geez, I only asked 3 questions man.” You muttered under your breath looking away from him.

“What?” His eyes you narrowly after seeing you mumbling to yourself.

You look at him again with a forced smile.

“Nothing. I’ll keep quiet.”

He turn his body around, giving his horse a gentle nudge to quicken its pace.

The rest of the patrol with Joel is just him telling you off a couple times when he catches you not being alert enough. You can’t complain because it’s your fault for not focusing on the task, getting distracted in your own thoughts of your partner right there.

You don’t actually mind his attitude out here because him calling out your mistakes only means that he cares about your safety. Even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit. Compared to his approach on other things, he teaches you some tips in a gentler way.

Patrol duty isn’t your favourite because you hate the risk of being out here but there isn’t any choice when there is only a limited amount of manpower for this dangerous duty. You have worked with a couple of people over the years for patrol and weirdly you feel the safest with Joel and it’s only your first day with him.

The patrol shift ends the same way as it started. Masked with the heavy air of stillness with Joel Miller. You’re assuming that he’s using this patrol to probably feel you out to see your skills and make sure you’re strong enough to be his partner. You on the other hand, were busy checking him out with any opportunity that you can. It’s embarrassing at this point.

After the shift handover with the next patrollers, the horses are return to the ranch to be taken care of. Joel went off first after giving you a slight nod. You stay awhile back to be with the horses. You strangely feel proud seeing that he acknowledges you this time. Him giving you not even the bare minimum of manners and you’re out here having your heart flutters over it. Damn. He really have you wrapped around his little finger and he doesn’t even know it.

You heard footsteps behind you as you look emptily at the horses feeding themselves.

“Hey!” Ellie exclaim.

“Hey,” you say with a tired smile on your face.

“Where’s Joel?”

“You just missed him. He left a couple minutes ago,”

“How’s your first patrol with him?” A sly smile on her face that you didn’t catch as you look away from her.

“Unexpectedly, not bad,”

“See! I told you that you can stand his ‘grumpy old man’ attitude!” She smile knowingly.

“What evidence do you have to say that?” Your eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“Intuition,” she winks at you.

“Yeah, right.” You rolled your eyes and slowly make your way out of the ranch. Ellie follows behind you closely before getting next to you. She keeps looking at you with a mischievous grin on her face. You put your arms over her shoulders pulling her in and jokingly put her in a headlock. She giggles loudly and that make you laugh as well.

You have been on a couple of patrols with Joel after that. He is not as tense as the first patrol and have been more open than before. Well, slightly but that is still something. Like you have expected, he’s someone who is just misunderstood. You like that you get to see different sides of him through the patrols.

As time goes on, you try to figure out the right time to tell him your feelings that are only getting stronger. There were some opportunities when there were only the two of you alone that you still couldn’t take.

To be honest, you plan to give him a little gift. Before the outbreak, you love to collect random little stuffs that you find cute or interesting. You still do that after the outbreak while you are out finding supplies.

There is this one guitar pick in your collection that has a design that you find cute but corny at the same time and you want to give it to him. You’re sure he’s not going to be amused with it but you do want to see his reaction to seeing it.

You did hear from Ellie one time that Joel likes to do some wood carvings and that recently he’s starting to do wood carvings of chess pieces. Ellie doesn’t know what chess is. She only know that it is a board game from what Joel had said and she is looking forward to learn it after he finish working on it.

With that information, you secretly start to practice carving chess pieces from wood that you can find or attain from someone in the community. You have finished one perfect piece of a horse. The horse piece is the most difficult one to do as it has more complicated details unlike the rest of the pieces. You hope that at least this would open his heart a little bit more for you.All you need to do is to get a chance to be alone with him and just go for it.

You’re in the tipsy bison, alone, conflicted with how you’re going to go about this. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you turn to look over it to see Tommy smiling softly at you. He slides into the chair opposite you with his drink.

“Hey, everything alright?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t they?” You tried to give a convincing smile.

“How long have we known each other, huh? I know when there’s something bothering you. You know you can tell me anything right?”

You look down on your hands, don’t know whether to confide in him about Joel.

“Is it Joel?”

You raise your head looking at him with wide eyes, shocked by what he said. Too stunned to speak, you just look at him with your mouth slightly parted.

“I’ve been noticing some things and let me hold your hand telling you this,” he reaches out to hold one of your hands, “it’s kinda obvious,”

“Really?” You ask him softly.

“It is to me since we’re close and I’m actually a little hurt that you didn’t tell me. I thought I’m your closest friend here,” he jokingly put his hand over his heart.

“I didn’t tell anyone especially not you since you’re his brother. I don’t know how you would feel about that y’know. Just thought it was just a silly little crush that would go away after a short period of time but here I am,” you tell the truth.

“How long?”

“Ever since he’s been here,” you softly said, avoiding looking at him, shy about your year long crush on his brother.

“Damn, should have told me. I could help you out a lil bit,”

“How? I think you would have made it worse.” you chuckle at him.

He laughed out loud. You're glad that Tommy doesn't find any problem with your crush on his big brother.

"Are you gonna tell him? cause damn girl, a year is crazyyyyy" He sips on his drink.

"That's the problem, Tommy. I don't know how to and you know him better than I do. He ain't gonna be nice about it,"

"True. He's stubborn and is an asshole most of the time but he do have a good heart somewhere inside him. I know that. I'll help you and maybe after all this time, you're the one that could crack him."

Since then, Tommy has been creating chances for you to be alone with Joel. Getting the both of you alone at the end of breakfast, putting the both of you in other duties together, excusing himself when there’s only the three of you in the bar, etc. Tommy doing all of this only makes it so obvious to the both of you on his intention and it makes it more awkward to be around Joel.

During the time when you are stuck with him, you did try to break the ice more but he’s still the same cold and distant Joel. Not wanting to stay with you much longer, he would try to get away as fast as possible avoiding as much interaction with you.

Ellie caught you and Tommy talking one time at your back porch. You were telling Tommy to not interfere anymore because it’s getting awkward with Joel and Tommy were insisting on inviting everyone for dinner at his house at the end of the week. Both of you were so caught up in the conversation that you didn’t realise Ellie came looking for you.

“Come on, it’s just a dinner. We’ve had some dinner nights at my house before,” Tommy persuading you.

“Yeah but now you’re going to have something up your sleeves to push me and Joel together or something. I don’t know. It’s awkward man!”

“What’s so awkward?” Ellie’s voice startled you and Tommy. She came out from the side of the house and slowly made her way to stand between where you and Tommy were sitting.

Tommy and you just looked at each other, don’t know what to say to Ellie.

“If it’s about you and Joel, I already knew that.” she shrugged her shoulders sitting on your porch’s steps.

Still on edge, you and Tommy did not say anything.

“I have eyes, I see how you look at him. In fact, you ALWAYS look at him,” she chuckled looking at your shocked expression.

“Okay, that’s enough,” you told her to stop talking, feeling shy that your friends have been suspecting your feelings for Joel all this time.

“You look at him like he’s the most beautiful person in this world,” she imitated a vomiting motion after saying that.

“Ellie!” you hid your face with both of your hands while Tommy and Ellie laughed at you.

“With your big mouth, I can’t believe you never said anything to me about it,” you continued after their laugh subsided.

“I wasn’t exactly sure and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you give her a small comforting smile. “So are you gonna tell him?”

“Most likely,”

“What do you think he’s gonna say?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s gonna like it. No matter what the outcome is, what really matters is he knows that at least there’s one more person in this world that actually cares about him.” you sigh heavily.

The three of you said your goodbyes that night after Tommy and Ellie gave you some encouragement about the whole situation.

Dinner at Tommy’s is like the calm before the storm. Joel is seated between you and Ellie. Maria who is sitting across you is talking with Tommy about their plans to decorate their extra room for their baby. You’re excited for them. You feel a little envious as you don’t think you will ever find a love like that in this apocalypse. You have always dreamed of starting a family. Right now, it is just a faraway dream that you could never hope to come to reality.

Your legs keep shaking nervously under the table. You’re always nervous around Joel but sitting beside him for this long is just making it worse. Additionally, you have the gift that you prepared for him in the side pocket of your cargo pants. After adding a letter to the two little gifts, you wrapped it up in a small nice paper packaging that you can find. Ever since then, you carried it around with you, don’t know when you will find the right time.

Picking at your food mindlessly, you feel a big strong hand on your right thigh. You immediately stop shaking and look down to your thigh. It’s none other than the man himself. You shift your gaze to him seeing that he’s already looking at you. He leans in a slightly and whispers,

“Stop it.” he immediately removes his hand and continues to eat his food right after telling you off.

Speechless, you force food down your throat as if it will get rid of his lingering touch on your thigh. You’re more aware of your legs now and you try your best to not shake your legs subconsciously. Although a part of you wishes to do it so that you can feel his hand on your thigh again.

You didn’t talk much for the rest of the dinner, distracted by what had happened. Tommy tries to make eye contact with you a couple times to signal something to you. You avoid looking at him so that he takes the hint to stop whatever kind of ideas in his head right now.

Dinner ended in a peaceful way thankfully. There were some dinners before that ended with some arguments usually between Joel and Ellie or Tommy and Joel. On those dinners, you just look on and try not to interfere at all unless it gets too far.

Ellie has already went off to find her friends for movie night. Tommy and Maria are slowly cleaning things up while you and Joel try to help them a little bit. They insist that they don't need any help from you guys and thank the both of you for coming to dinner.

That's how you ended up in this situation where you and Joel are walking back home together. As usual, there wasn't much talking. The conversation died after you talked about how great dinner was and he agreed. You didn't walk long before both of you reach the front of his house first.

"G'nite." he clears his throat before saying softly under his breath. Not waiting for your reply, he turns to walk to his front door.

"Sorry about earlier." you quickly said. You meant that you were sorry about shaking your legs that it bothered him.

He stops walking halfway to his front door and turns to you.

"It's fine. Didn't mean to touch you. It was bothering me. Sorry." his eyes were on you for a few seconds at first before darting anywhere else other than you. He walks away to his front door. You don't know overcame you. Maybe you're just riding the good energy from tonight, you take a few steps closer to him and calls him.

"Umm, Joel," you call him.

He stops before putting his house key in. He turns back around not saying anything. He’s waiting for you to continue what you have to say. You walk to the front of his steps nervously.

“I want to tell you something.” You look up eyeing his movements. He sighs before making his way down the steps to stand in front of you. You awkwardly stands there for a moment before remembering his gift. You take it out and hand it over to him.

“This is for you. Thought you might like it,” you look at him inspecting the small wrapped gift in his hands.

“What is it?” he looks at you with his brows knitted in confusion.

“Well you have to open it to find out,” you put your hands in your front pockets to hide your fists that are clenching due to the tension.

“Why? Why are you giving me this?” he looks at you with unwavering eyes. You look down at your shoes to avoid looking in his eyes that make it seem as if he could read whatever is on your mind. Your voice is stuck in your throat with the words that you want to say are on the tip of your tongue.

“What do you want from me? Do you need something in return for this?” He asks thinking that the gift is some kind of a trade deal.

“No. Nothing like that.” You shake your head looking at the gift in his hands.

“Then what?”

Your brain is running in full speed, contemplating if this is the right moment to confess to him. You’re swaying from side to side, eyes darting everywhere except the brown eyes in front of you.

“I don’t have the time for this,” he sighs heavily turning his body to walk back to the door.

“I like you,” you blurt it out quickly, panicking that you just said those words out loud to him.

“What?” he turns back to you in a flash, not believing what you had just said.

You pause for a moment to calm yourself down and gather your thoughts. You take a deep breath before speaking.

“I like you, Joel. I don’t know exactly when or how but gradually, my mind has been flooding with thoughts of you ever since you came here. I’ve known you for a year now and these feelings are not going away at all. I thought it’s time for me to let it all out before it’s too late. I don’t want to regret not telling you that I do care about you. More than you know. I know you may think this is silly and I don’t expect anything from you-“

“You’re right. Don’t expect anything from me.” He interrupts you with a harden look in his eyes now.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking but let me clarify it again for you,” he closes the gap between the two of you and look straight into your eyes. You can’t help but to tilt your head up more, not able to tear your eyes away from him.

“There’s nothing between us. It never will be anything other than you being Tommy’s friend or Ellie’s friend to me. I’m just tolerating you for their sake. Without them, you’re just another person in Jackson that I don’t give a fuck about.” you lower your gaze to his chest. You predicted that he is going to be worked up about this but hearing that he actually doesn’t care about you kinda hurt your feelings a little.

“Wake up, darling. We’re in the apocalypse and you’re out here telling me about your little crush on me. This is stupid. I thought you’re better than this. I already have a lot on my plate to be dealing with this bullshit.” he sighs, raising his head to look at the dark sky.

All kinds of emotions are running through you. You knew this would happen. You knew that he will criticise you for it but you still did it. You thought that you could take it but your sensitive little heart betrayed you. Why are you sad for even disappointing him?

“Take this back.” He shoves your gift to your front, waiting for you to take it from him.

Your hands still in your pockets, you stayed still. You feel so embarrassed that you cannot move your body.

“Fine. Whatever.” he drops the gift right in front of your feet and walk to his door.

You hear keys jingling before the door opens and not long after that the door slam shut. You’re frozen in your place still staring at the gift below you. The images of the past year runs through your head. The amount of time spent thinking about him, wondering if he’s okay or not, secretly listening to him playing guitar and to you making the effort to gift him something he would like. All the little things amounted to this at the end.

Suddenly, you feel the anger rise inside of you. You feel so stupid. Why of all people, it must be Joel that you have feelings for? You feel angry at yourself for feeling this way. You don’t even blame Joel because he’s right. This isn’t the time to be occupied with stupid little feelings.

With jaws clenched, you pick up the wrapped gift and throws it hard against his front door. Fuck this. You don’t care what he’s going to say. You walk off angrily with long strides back to your house. In your head, you think that at least you said your feelings for him truthfully. It’s done and dusted. Time for you to move on from him.

next part

Thank you for reading this chapter! The next update probably will be in a week or so, hopefully!

Taglist: @greenwitchfromthewoods @rebeccawinters @cuteanimalmama

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Be still, my foolish heart.

Pairing/Au: Soft single dad!Joel Miller x Curvy f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 8816 (I know, I’m sorry 💀)

Rating: +18, MDNI, NSFW

Summary: A meet cute at the clinic where you work leads to finding the best date you could ask for… our one and only Joel Miller.

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, meet cute, a little bit of a slow burn, reader is curvy, has breasts and vagina and wears a dress, apart from that no other specific description is given, age gap (reader is 35, Joel is 46), Joel is a single dad and he is soft (what can I say, I’m a sucker for a soft Joel okay), reader doesn’t trust Joel immediately and she thinks he might be dangerous (he’s not, he’s cutest), Sarah is alive and well and she’s mentioned multiple times, mention of Tommy, Joel is a contractor, unprotected p in v (wrap it up IRL, folks!), pussy pronouns, mention of use of oral contraceptives (reader is on the pill), fingering (f receiving), oral (m and f receiving), dirty talks, elderly people being fragile and sick, slight mention of Joel’s prescriptions including antidepressant (game Joel took it so I put it in there), I know that prescribing medicine doesn't exactly work like that in America (not even in Italy for that matter) but allow me a poetic license (😂), reader has insecurities about her body, mention of bullying and previous toxic relationships that reader has been subjected to, internal reader’s voice inserts, pet names (pretty lady, good girl, honey, sunshine, baby, babe, angel), squirting (not specifically mentioned but still), Joel is feral and reader too.

I don't think I forgot anything but if I notice it I'll add it right away.

I made a mood board for the first time in my life, I know it's not great but I tried 💀 English is not my first language so please be gentle (I also have Covid at the moment… yeah, it’s 2024 and I caught it for the third time, lucky me), I hope there aren't too many mistakes, no beta so it's all my fault LOL, no proofreading. Title is an Hozier quote. Of course, because I love this man.

Oh sh*t, here’s what I was forgetting: the mirror scene is inspired by Polin (yep, it was a great scene ❤️) but I think I personalized and changed it enough to make it just Joel and reader's, at least I hope.

(Reader works in a clinic because I do this job so yes, she has this thing in common with me besides being curvy. Every time I write a curvy reader is so personal to me)

I might write something else about these two if you like, I really love this pairing and I hope I’m not the only one, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks to anyone who will read this 💐

Archive tags : @pedrostories

You are at your desk, absorbed in an email you are writing to a patient who is asking for prescriptions for medicines. The clinic is empty and quiet and this doesn’t happen often so you’re trying to keep up with emails and messages and phone calls that you have received in the last hour.

Suddenly the door opens and a man enters the clinic, at first you don't even look at him, you just say "Good morning" and continue typing.

He clears his throat and says “good morning” and stops in front of you, on the other side of the desk. He’s clearly waiting for you to shift your attention to him so you turn and look at him. For a moment you’re speechless. He’s a gorgeous man.

Tall and broad, dark hair slightly streaked with silver, strong aquiline nose, beard and mustache framing a pair of plump lips, perfectly designed jawline and neck.

Stunning.

You didn’t expect anyone like this ‘cause really, the doctor you work for has hundreds of elderly patients or families with children and you have never been interested in married men, you don’t even look at them but anyway, you never saw a single person that was attractive to you in this place before.

You smile politely as you ask “do you need anything?” and you want to sink into your seat because you don't even have makeup on and you're wearing the first things you found in the closet this morning. An old pair of jeans and a black top.

“Yes please, I need some prescriptions. I just changed doctor because my previous one is now retired. I always sent an email to his secretary but this is the first time I've asked for my prescriptions here so I thought I'd stop by in person especially since I was in the area. I’m working in the building next door”

Bingo.

That’s why you never saw him.

You quickly look at his hand on the desk for a ring and it’s not there.

His hands are gorgeous though, big strong working and experienced hands.

“Sure, can you tell me your name please?” you ask trying to keep your tone professional while being excited to know more about him.

“Joel Miller” he says and you find the way his tongue rolls up to pronounce the r at the end so delicious it’s almost embarrassing.

For a moment you're almost afraid he might hear your thoughts.

You turn back to the computer typing in his name and a moment later his medical records appear.

46 years old, born in late September, he lives in Austin. You look at his prescriptions and notice a reflux medication, another for high blood pressure, and an antidepressant.

Oh.

What happened to him?

“Well, Mister Miller, what do you need today?”

“You don’t have to call me Mister Miller, even if you’re younger than me I think?”

You look down in bewilderment, not expecting much familiarity from him since it���s the first time you’ve seen him but you answer anyway “Yes, actually. I’m 35”

“So you can call me Joel” he says with a smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth and hopeful eyes of someone who asks not to make him feel old.

“Of course I can” you hurry to answer “So… Joel, what do you need today?”

He gives you a grateful look and replies, “I don’t remember what it’s called but… my medicine for high blood pressure.”

“Oh yes, this one” you nod and proceed to prepare it, “just a moment, Mr Miller… uhm I meant Joel, I need to get the doctor to sign it,” you tell him as the printer gurgles, spitting out the prescription paper.

You stand up from your chair, feeling your legs a little unsteady, and once you’re in front of him his height impresses you even more. He’s imposing, you’re a curvy girl and yet you feel so tiny in front of him.

You notice that he looks you up and down and seems pleased, his eyes reflecting an approval that makes you very satisfied.

You move quickly to the doctor's office, enter apologizing and have him sign the prescription. When you leave you find him standing in front of your desk waiting, he looks at you again and you notice a certain sparkle in his eyes.

"Here you go" you say and hand him the prescription.

You feel his fingers lightly brush yours and a shiver of pleasure runs down your spine.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you, “you are very kind.”

“No problem, have a good day,” and you approach the desk to sit down again. You see him hesitate for a moment, as if he wanted to add something.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask curiously and a part of you really hopes that he will ask you for your phone number or if you want to go get a drink after work.

“Oh no, no thanks, see you next time”

His gaze drops to the floor as he says this, as if he's embarrassed, which you like because it feels like you're not the only one in the room who's been pleasantly shaken up by this encounter.

He puts his hand on the door handle and turns once more, smiling shyly.

You smile back feeling a sense of tenderness so premature that you wonder if you're losing your mind.

You go back to work but all you think about is him, you want to know more.

You enter his name again in the search bar and reopen his folder. Joel Miller. You wonder who he really is and what he does but apart from his pathologies and his date of birth you don't find much else about him. His address is there but you certainly won't use it for unorthodox purposes such as accidentally ending up in his neighborhood, you would pass for a stalker as well as a very unprofessional secretary.

Nothing stops you from noticing that he lives in a very quiet residential neighborhood though.

Will he be married? There are men who do not wear a wedding ring so it might not be safe to rely only on the fact of not having seen it.

You hesitate a bit before doing so because you already feel awkward enough for someone you've only seen once but in the end you type his address in the search bar to see if other people who live with him in the same house appear, usually families tend to have the same doctor for convenience.

You hold your breath as you stare at the white screen waiting and after a few seconds a result appears.

Sarah Miller.

“There I knew it, he’s married” you think, huffing and shrugging, but then you look better and realize that this Sarah is 14 years old. “So… he has a daughter”

No one else showed up in the results so you assume he is not married but he may have been and then got divorced. Unless his wife chose another doctor but that seems very strange to you.

You contemplate trying to Google his name but then decide it's best to wait until you get home, you can't use the work computer for personal stuff.

You sigh and go back to your work, completing your search just a second before the doctor comes out and asks you if you have any urgent messages.

Today everything is strangely quiet though, even if you wasted time looking for information on Joel you finish all the work, not without thinking about him at least once an hour. You feel silly, you shouldn’t have any kind of thought about someone you don’t know and with whom you have only exchanged a few words, the fact that he seemed interested and that he was about to ask something while he was about to leave could also be false projections that you have made in your head. And yet…once home, after taking a shower and putting on clean pajamas, you throw yourself on the sofa nibbling on a sandwich and open your laptop.

You open Google and type his name and the first result that comes up is “Miller - construction company”

It could be him, now that you think about it he mentioned he was working on the building next door which is in fact under construction.

You scroll down to the bottom of the page where the owners are listed and you see two names, Joel and Tommy Miller. You assume that Tommy is his brother. You go back to the Google page for a moment and check if there are any namesakes but no one else in the city has the same name. And just like that, you know what he does.

You don’t think you can do anything with this information, you live in a new apartment and everything is in perfect working order so you just have to wait. Before leaving he said “see you next time”, so now you find yourself wondering when the next time will be. Probably in a month, when he will need a new prescription.

Such a long time. But maybe this will help you, you tell yourself. It's just a passing thing, you tell yourself. You can't be so foolish as to project your fantasies onto him. You decide that this is okay, you'll just get over it.

_____________________

After a week you almost got Joel out of your mind. You worked quietly, met the usual old people who came to the clinic to be examined, no sign of him. You'd be lying if you didn't think about it anymore but you stopped yourself from doing something foolish like contacting him for a fake construction job to try to meet him.

You are preparing some prescriptions when the doctor comes out of the office and asks if you could please take some medicine to the home of a very elderly patient. It is something you usually do not do but the caregiver cannot leave her alone and her son is away for work all week so she had no choice but asking you to do that. It will take up extra time because you will have to go to the pharmacy and then to her house, the doctor offers to pay you overtime but you know the lady and say that it is not a problem, you can do it without compensation.

Of course you can do that for Rose.

When she was better and could move around quite independently you often talked when she came to the clinic, she immediately took a liking to you and treated you like a niece, she would bring you gifts, vegetables from her garden, other times sweets cooked by her.

She is a dear lady, you are happy to be able to do her a favor.

At 5:00 you leave the office and head to the pharmacy, pick up her prescriptions, and get back in the car to drive to her neighborhood.

Rose lives in a nice street with many rather large houses, well-kept gardens and white picket fences.

You knock on the door and Georgia, the caregiver hired by Rose's family to assist her, opens it.

You already know her, she has accompanied Rose to the clinic many times but lately her health has worsened a lot and she can no longer leave the house.

“Hi, Georgia! I I brought Rose’s medicines”

“Hey! How long has it been since we saw each other? Come in!” She says with a big smile.

Georgia is a very sweet person and a great professional, she has taken great care of Rose all these years. She is a qualified nurse and the granddaughter of a long time friend of Rose. Georgia had moved to Texas from Arkansas to attend college and since then she had always lived at her grandmother's house, who lived a few miles from Rose's house.

She took the job because she loved her and when her grandmother passed away Rose was very close to her.

Georgia offers you a coffee and some chocolate cookies she has prepared, which you gladly accept.

You chat a little while Rose is resting and then when it's time to wake her up to take her evening medicine you accompany Georgia to her room to say goodbye to Rose.

She is lying motionless in a bed, now forced to ask Georgia for help with everything, she is almost 85 years old now and you are so sorry to see her like this. Until a few years ago she was an energetic, witty woman, with lots of hobbies, she loved reading, gardening, cooking and going to the movies. Now she was a ghost of herself. And the worst thing was probably that her mind was still working, so she realized what was happening to her and this made her even sadder and more helpless. Her body did not respond, while her mind understood everything.

She recognizes you right away and greets you so sweetly with her now faint voice. It breaks your heart to see her like this.

She asks you for a hug and you put your arms around her little shoulders, holding her gently. She's always been good to you, she doesn't deserve this.

You leave the room, wiping away a tear, without letting Rose see you, and say goodbye to Georgia, promising to come back and visit them soon.

You stand in the driveway feeling helpless for a moment, you would like to do so much more. Some patients have become like an extended family to you, you have known them for years and seeing some of them fold in on themselves, increasingly frail and elderly is so bad.

You look up and see a black pickup truck driving down the road. There’s a man in it and he looks familiar. He pulls into the driveway two houses down and gets out. And oh, shit.

It’s Joel.

Joel Miller.

He lives in the same neighborhood as Rose and you didn’t even registered that in your mind before.

You don't know what to do, whether to get in the car and drive away pretending nothing happened or take the opportunity and go say hello to him.

It seems silly to say hello to someone you've only seen once, no matter how attractive they are. You walk to your car, rummaging through your bag for your keys.

You're about to curse because never once do you find something in your bag, it doesn't even matter what it is. Big bag? You find nothing. Small bag? You find nothing either.

Your eyes move for a moment to the asphalt and you see two boots approaching, you look up again and you see two legs wrapped in dark jeans streaked with paint and of course to those legs is attached the rest of Joel Miller's wonderful body.

Your eyes widen and you watch him stop in front of you, beautiful as a God. Even more beautiful than the first time you saw him.

“Hi! I saw you across the street and I was pretty sure it was you. I almost made a fool of myself, but hey, I was right!”

You lose your words, it's as if they've slipped out of your brain and melted at your feet.

At least you solved a dilemma, he greeted you first.

“Hi” you say shyly.

This doesn't make you any less nervous, you were trying to sneak out of this neighborhood unnoticed and you could say that he ruined everything and you don't know him well enough to know whether to be grateful or keep running away pretending to be very busy.

He has a daughter, a respectable job, a brother, lives in a nice neighborhood, and seems to lead a regular life. Is that enough to trust these days? Probably not.

This dude can be anyone, a serial killer, a criminal, a drug dealer, a thief, whatever.

How do you know he doesn't sleep with a gun on his nightstand or keep dead bodies in his basement?

Trust no one, is something you learned from a very early age and you always stood by it, safety first.

Have you been wanting to see him again for a whole week? Yes.

Did you just realize that you know nothing and that you might be risking something? This too.

“Can I ask why you’re here?” He asks, running his hand through his curls in a way that drives you instantly wild.

God, why is he so gorgeous, this doesn’t help at all.

You can always run to Rose and call the police if he suggests something strange and you’re in the middle of the street in broad daylight so you decide to take the risk and say the truth

“I came to deliver medicines to a lady who lives here” you reply, acting like he doesn’t have any kind of effect on you.

“Oh, so this is something you do? I didn’t know that”

“No, not regularly. I actually did it because it’s Rose, you know. She’s an adorable old lady”

He nods as if he knows exactly what you're talking about and actually says, "Sure, Rose. I know her. She used to babysit my daughter many years ago."

Okay, those are some great credentials. So maybe you can trust Joel Miller? Isn't he a lunatic homicidal? Maybe not.

Obviously you pretend you don’t know anything about Sarah and ask, “Oh really? You have a daughter?” raising your voice in surprise for a better result.

“Yeah I do. She's 14 years old and she's already giving me a hard time, she’s so smart and responsible that she’s basically parenting me” he shrugs while a little smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. You can see in his eyes how proud he is of her.

You giggle “well, she sounds so cool, I do love a tough girl.”

“Oh, she’s definitely your girl then”

You smile and think that after all, yes, Joel probably doesn't have any horrible skeletons in his closet.

And again he falls silent and looks uncertain and embarrassed, he lowers his eyes and then asks you, “You know, I’m going to be working in the building next to where you work for a little while longer, so I was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee with me sometime?”

It’s like every word is bouncing around in your head as you think about what to say. Would you like to get to know him better? The answer in the end is, “Yes, I would like to, thank you” you feel your face heat up as you say it.

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he looks at you, he seems nervous, excited but above all happy.

“I’m glad you accepted. So…what do you think about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I have lunch break from 12 to 2, is 1 okay for you?”

You see his face light up “sure that’s fine. See you tomorrow then”

For a moment he raises his arm as if he wants to come closer and touch you, but then he immediately lets it slide down his side.

Gentleman, you note in your head.

It is not yet the time for such confidence, but secretly you hope that it will come soon.

You say goodbye to him and get back in the car and you see him waving at you in the rearview mirror.

“God, Joel Miller, I already know you’re going to be a threat for me. In the best sense of the word.”

_________________________

In the weeks that follow, you and Joel share a lot of coffees. Every day he waits for you outside the clinic at 1:00 sharp, you go to the corner café and chat for an hour before returning to work. He tells you a lot of things about himself and his life which you adore listening about.

He also confides in you that he was in therapy and had to use antidepressants for a period of time, when Sarah's mother abandoned them. You completely understand.

And the more you talk to him the more you get convinced that he’s a great person, you don’t have any doubt about that.

He never fails to compliment you, on your clothes, on your hair, on your eyes, on your nail polish.

He laughingly admits that the compliment about the nail polish was Sarah’s suggestion. “Dad, she told me, girls like it when you notice details.”

You laugh out loud and nod. “She’s right. And you’re right, too, you have a very smart daughter.”

He shrugs “I know,” and then adds. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone, I don’t even remember how to do it anymore.” You lean slightly across the table and whisper. “Well, I think you’re doing great.” And it’s true. You feel spoiled like a queen.

He gives you a mischievous smile “oh yeah?”

“Yes, definitely” And you want to kiss him right there, in that crowded café.

Yet a voice inside you still can’t understand how someone like him, who could have all the women he wants, is inviting you, a curvy girl.

You shouldn’t, but you still have those latent insecurities from when you were 15 and boys in your class made fun of you. Somewhere inside you there is still that fragile and wounded teenager who thinks it’s impossible that someone could truly love you. Or even just desire you.

And you hate it, because Joel has done nothing but show you how much he enjoys spending time with you. And his compliments have always sounded sincere, his eyes are, they send you a reassuring image, full of admiration. He seems truly interested in you.

You're still in this internal monologue where you curse yourself for being like this when he asks you, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

Oh. He did it. He took the next step.

With your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth unable to help but curl into a smile you answer “yes!” a little too loudly.

You put a hand over your mouth as he looks at you amused “well, I’m glad you’re so excited about the idea. Should I pick you up at 8?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect” you reply, quietly this time but with a little firecracker in your chest that keeps banging where your heart is.

You finish your coffee and go out and he asks for your address which he writes down on his phone. You try to say that there is no need for him to bother but he insists on picking you up.

“Do you like Italian food?”

“I love it”

“Good, see you tonight” and this time his hand wraps around your arm and squeezes lightly as he leans down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You return to the clinic feeling like you're walking on clouds.

You come home after working as hard as you can while still feeling anxious and completely unsure of what to wear. You know you didn't do anything wrong and that's a relief because you certainly can't mess up your patients' medications.

You jump in the shower, mentally going over everything in your closet. You decide to exclude any black dress because no, simply no. It's a special day and you want to wear a color. Maybe the green dress? No, green doesn't suit you, you don't even know why you bought it. Maybe the red one? But that one is very low-cut and you've rarely felt good enough to wear it. Maybe the blue one? The blue one is low-cut, but not too low-cut, it hugs you in the right way, it doesn't highlight what you don't want. Yes, maybe it's the right choice.

You hum in the shower as you wash your hair, satisfied with your decision.

You come out feeling invincible. Joel Miller has asked you to dinner. It’s been years since anyone has asked you out. You didn’t like the ones who did, and God only knows how much you miss good sex. Someone who touches you just right. Someone who makes you sigh and whimper and feel alive in his arms.

Someone who kisses you and leaves you breathless and doesn't hesitate to make you feel simply amazing as he goes down between your thighs.

Joel seems to have all the makings and miraculously seems eager to give you exactly that.

You slip into the dress and look at yourself in the mirror. You like the image it reflects. To hell with those stupid kids who always gave you shit and made you feel horrible.

You're going out to dinner with Joel Miller tonight.

Joel fucking Miller who in the high school categorization is the equivalent of the football quarterback.

The High School Prom King.

God, that makes you feel so good.

He rings the doorbell at 8:00 sharp, just as you’ve finished putting on your favorite lipstick. You take a deep breath as you go to open the door, placing your hand on the handle, and mentally preparing yourself for what you’ll find on the other side.

Finally you open it and he’s perfect. He looks like a painting framed by your door.

You stifle a scream with all your strength and say “hello” to him in a high pitched voice.

Goddamn you.

He doesn't even seem to notice. “So, miss, are you ready?”

“Sure, thank you.”

You grab your bag from the hall table and walk out with him. He takes your hand as he walks you to his pick up truck, opens the door and helps you get in.

Once in the driver's seat he turns to you and says "you look incredible tonight"

And you're about to say that after all you could skip dinner, who cares, instead you could go to your room and fuck. But you decide to behave as well as him, this man has a daughter to take care of and it seems like he's not looking for a one night stand judging by how many coffees he's offered you and how much he's put in to get to know you, so much so that by the second time he could order for you with his eyes closed, so you just say “you too” with the biggest smile widening on your face.

And oh, it's so true. He left aside the flannel shirts and the worn jeans and with them he was already the most attractive man who had ever caught your eye.

He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a beige shirt that hugs his strong biceps. You can glimpse his soft tummy as he drives, the last button before his belt tightening in a delicious way, his meaty thighs wrapped in those jeans are mouth watering.

The work he does makes him muscular in all the right places.

The car stops in front of the restaurant and he opens the door for you again. He lets you enter the restaurant first, he addresses the waitress politely and they place you at the best table in the restaurant. You are impressed, he did all this for you.

The evening passes pleasantly, you talk a lot and chat about everything, by now there is a familiarity between you that you have built over the weeks, you feel safe and comfortable with him. Finally. After so many failed and wrong relationships you feel like you have found someone right. Joel is not ashamed of you, he doesn't try to change you, he doesn't comment on your weight, he is truly a breath of fresh air.

And you see the way he looks at you, enraptured. His eyes sparkle as he talks to you and listens to you. He listens to what you have to say and never makes inappropriate comments.

You both have a sense of humor and you like that, you manage not to take yourself too seriously and laugh together. Which is hot. Extremely hot. Every time you see that dimple on his cheek pop up, your knees buckle and your heart melts. He’s so adorable.

You also like the fact that he talks to you about Sarah, it makes you feel involved in his life, it seems like he doesn't try to keep you separate from it.

“Sarah is at a sleepover at one of her friends. So…would you like to stay over tonight?” he says it looking you straight in the eye and you already know what it means.

It’s the night.

The big night.

After all, you felt it and put on your favorite lingerie.

“Sure I want to,” you reply, taking his hand across the table and squeezing it. His hands big and strong…you can’t wait to feel them all over your body.

He insists on paying the bill despite your protests, you walk out of the restaurant and toward the truck when Joel grabs your waist and presses you against the door. He’s an inch from your lips, you can feel his warm breath on your skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What if I say no?” you tease him with a mischievous smile.

His body is completely on top of yours and the truth is that you can already feel your panties getting wet.

“I would quit, but it wouldn’t be easy so I hope you’ll reconsider”

You giggle “okay” and you feel his hands tighten on your hips.

He presses his lips against yours and it's a sloppy, needy kiss, urgent, all spit and tongue.

It leaves you breathless and you wonder what he will do in bed if this is the effect he has on you with just one kiss.

In fact you are touching each other really for the first time, in these weeks you have imagined many times his lips, their taste, their softness, their warmth. Now you know that he exceeds all your expectations.

He's calmer now, his lips fit perfectly between yours, he gently nibbles your lower lip and continues to lick inside your mouth.

He’s divine.

Utterly divine.

His hands run up and down your hips and he's about to lift your dress and grab your thigh when you stop him. “Joel…”

He looks at you with bated breath and eyes begging for mercy. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Not here…please, take me home” you whisper and he sighs “okay”

You don't even know how you managed to stop but you want your first time to be just for the two of you, you don't want to risk prying eyes or voices shouting obscene comments getting in the way.

You're already nervous enough that he'll see you naked for the first time.

He makes you get back in the pick up and gets into the driver's seat, while he fastens his seat belt you cast an eye at his crotch and you realize he’s semi-hard.

While he's driving, you put your hand on his thigh, because he has to know how much you want him.

You squeeze gently and hear him grunt “Babe…don’t do it, I won’t make it home.” and you giggle.

His low, raspy voice drives you crazy, and for a moment while you're stopped at the traffic light you consider sliding down your seat and straddling him but no, just no, wrecking his car on your first date wouldn't be the best way to end it.

You take a deep breath, leaving your hand quietly on his leg, but you want… oh you want so much to move it up and reach his bulge and stroke it over his pants.

When he pulls up in his driveway in the cab of his pickup truck there's an electricity between you that could power a small village, you feel it fluctuating in the air.

He quickly unbuckles his belt and leans over you to unbuckle yours, not without kissing you. “Let's go, pretty lady, I feel like I can’t wait a minute longer”

You get out and run to the door, he nervously searches for his keys in his pockets and opens it. You don't even have time to look around, it's the first time you enter his house but you only see it fleetingly because he takes your hand and immediately drag you to the bedroom.

There’s a chest of drawers in one corner and a wardrobe, both made of dark wood, probably made by him.

In the center of the room there is a large bed with a headboard of the same wood, the walls are a beautiful cerulean blue, there are three paintings hanging above the bed.

The bed has beige sheets and a light beige duvet with white stripes.

It’s a very manly cozy room, he makes you sit on the bed and you feel how comfortable it is, it's like him, warm and soft.

He starts undressing in front of you, he takes off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans without taking his eyes off you, he seems hypnotized by you.

You suddenly feel like there's an emptiness in the pit of your stomach, you wonder if you're ready to make yourself so vulnerable in front of him.

Oh fuck, where did this come from now? Why? You were so happy just a second ago.

It was easy in public places, you were able to use irony and your defense tactics.

Now there’s just the two of you and you wanted that, you insisted for that and yet you feel exposed now.

You know it's right, your insecurities right now aren't from Joel. Joel makes you feel safe.

It's you, it's just you.

Joel notices your hesitation, comes closer and caresses your face then he gently takes your chin and raises your gaze towards his

“Are you okay?”

“Yes” you reply in a small voice.

“If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, darling.”

Your voice cracks a little as you reply “no, oh no, Joel I want it”

“So what’s wrong? Talk to me, you can trust me, you know?” He slips his hand into your hair and caresses you gently, looking you intensely in the eyes.

It's so stupid, all night you've felt hungry and lustful for him and now… you're afraid that seeing you naked he might think he made a mistake.

“I…” you try to say. You know that he at least deserves sincerity from you “I… I’m ashamed”

Joel's eyes widen and a completely confused expression appears on his face “about what?”

He really doesn't seem to understand and it makes you feel a little frustrated

“About my body, about the fact that I'm not thin, I have stretch marks and many other defects and you will see them” you say it all in one breath feeling silly.

“Oh babe…no. Listen to me carefully: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You don't have to be afraid to undress in front of me, I'm sure that whatever is under your clothes is wonderful and deserves to be worshipped. I really like you. I'm not saying this just because I want to have sex. You’re beautiful, honey”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you fight them back with all your strength “you could have anyone you want”

“I want you. I want you if you let me” his voice is firm, his fingers caress your jaw until they reach your lips and brush them gently.

“Do you trust me?”

Sure, why shouldn’t I. He’s never given me a reason not to. you say to yourself.

“Yes” you whisper

“I want nothing more than to make you feel good and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I know”

“And you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I don’t want to make you regret this”

He is sincere. He is absolutely sincere and you can clearly see it in his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay” you smile

“And by the way…your curves make me absolutely feral” he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Yeah?” you say with a hint of surprise

“Sure. Would you let me prove it to you?” his hand is on your shoulder now and lingers on the strap of your dress.

“Yes, please Joel… yes”

Damn insecurities, they were about to make you lose the best man you've ever met.

And now you feel impatient again and want his hands everywhere.

Now you notice his broad chest, the freckles scattered across his skin, the happy trail of hair that ends up hidden by his jeans.

Now you can enjoy the view of his muscular shoulders and strong neck and you can't wait to taste his skin under your tongue.

His hands move slowly over you, he slides the straps of your dress and reveals your bra.

“Get up,” he says, “I want to show you something.”

You look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Come with me” he takes your hand and makes you get out of bed.

He takes you to a full-length mirror in a corner of his room “Sarah made me buy this because she says I have to look at myself before I leave the house. She says I make terrible combinations when I get dressed. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and wear my shirt inside out or something like that." he says smiling and shaking his head.

You giggle and the confidential tone with which he speaks to you makes you feel special.

“Well I don't know if it's the mirror's merit but you did a good job tonight” you joke.

You are in front of the mirror and he is behind you “look at yourself”

You become serious again and observe yourself.

“Look how beautiful you are” he says in his deep and slightly hoarse voice“can I?” he asks placing his hands on the clasp of your bra. You nod.

He takes off your bra and drops it on the floor. You look at that woman in the mirror, you look at her skin and the roundness of her breasts and her hard nipples and then you look into his eyes and you see nothing but admiration “God, your breasts are amazing” you hear him say “can I touch them?” and you nod again “yes, please Joel”

He traces the outline with his fingers and then cups his hands and fills them with your tits.

You don't miss the moan of pleasure that he tries to stifle in his throat “they are so soft” he squeezes them delicately “mmm baby, they feel amazing in my hands”

He takes your nipples between his fingers and tugs on them slightly “and these? Look how sexy they are, I bet they would be delicious in my mouth”

You feel your skin heat up and your head spin, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation of his hands playing with yours hard buds and his words go straight to your cunt. He’s so good at this.

“Open your eyes, honey” he whispers in your ear “don't stop looking at yourself”

His hands leave your breasts and for a moment you want to take them and put them back there but you let him. He slides your dress down your hips, until you're left in your underwear in front of the mirror.

“You’re stunning” he punctuates every syllable on your skin making you tremble “absolutely gorgeous”

His hand slides over your stomach and your belly that always makes you feel insecure “Is that what worries you?” he asks as if he can read inside you “that you don't have a flat stomach? Honey, your tummy is amazing.”

He squeezes it and it seems incredible to you how delicate his big hands can be “It's full and delicious and sweet and I can't wait to bite into it”

You squirm, leaning over his broad chest “Oh my god” you moan

He caresses your hips with both hands, supporting you “and these… they feel welcoming and warm and mmm baby, so sensual. Can you see it? They fit my hands so perfectly”

You look at yourself and you've never felt this way.

Guided by his words you finally see yourself beautiful and desirable.

He slips his fingers under the edge of your panties “Can I?”

“Yes” you say in a breath

He slowly slides them off, revealing your pussy “Jesus.” He mutter “look at her. Look how perfect she is”

He just touches your mound and you feel hypnotized, his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body, it’s all too much.

“Oh baby… I love that you left that little strip of hair”

You can't hold back anymore and you whine “touch me Joel, I want more”

His voice vibrates on your soft skin again “Tell me what you want, in detail” He bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulder “I want to hear”

“Oh god… I want… I want your fingers inside me, stretching me just right” you babble “I want to feel full”

His fingers slide between your folds “God baby you’re soaking wet. It’s all for me?”

You squirm under his touch nodding repeatedly, you feel desperately needy and hungry.

“Yes. Please Joel”

“Please what, baby?” He ask maliciously

“Make me yours, make me all yours”

“Can you see how beautiful you are now?”

“Yes” you nod “yeah. Don’t make me wait any longer. I need you, Joel”

You can swear that right now you feel really beautiful and also the luckiest woman in the world.

“Oh, you're getting impatient now… I like that” he says in a hushed tone.

He's still behind you and holding you close, he's still wearing his jeans but you can feel his hard cock pressing against your ass.

You look small in his arms, he surrounds you completely.

He brings you back to the bed and makes you lie down, you are completely naked and yet you no longer feel ashamed and inadequate.

He takes off his jeans, remaining in a pair of black boxers.

At the sight of his erection poking out against the fabric you lick your lips in anticipation.

He lies on top of you, his eyes on yours, looking at you intently “You’re perfect, honey” and then his mouth crash into your neck, kissing and licking everything he can, he takes your skin between his lips sucking and biting like he was starving for you.

“Your skin is like velvet and you smell so good, fuck”

And you whimper and cry and clasp your hands on his shoulder digging your nails in them and you feel like you don’t need anything else in this life.

He lowers himself on your body, grazing at your skin with his lips, lingering for a while on your nipples and mumbling at how good they are.

“I love touching you with my mouth, tasting your curves against my lips” until he reaches your tummy giving sloppy kisses at it and then he bites it. His teeth are attentive and gentle but at the same time eager, like he wants to taste your whole being.

And then he come to your mound and traces your thin strip of hair with his tongue and you buck your hips and move one of your hands through his curls and you plead “more, Joel, please”

He grunts at you when you tug his hair and you look at him with the most miserable begging eyes you can pull out “You want it so bad, babe? Want me to eat you out?”

You mewl a yes and he smirk “want to come on my tongue?”

You nod again “yes”

He places himself between your thighs “God, she seems made for this. So sweet scented and pretty. I bet she tastes so good”

And in an instant he dives into your pussy and his nose bumps your clit as his tongue begins to lick you up and down, delving your folds and making your hips jerk.

Your legs are wrapped around his back and his hand is on your tummy holding you in place “god, you look so beautiful like that, my precious angel, all spread and ravenous for me” every word vibrates on your clit and make you moan loudly. It’s like a demon took possession of your body, an insatiable and aching demon that wants nothing but pleasure.

He nudges at your entrance with his tongue and you cry again for more “your fingers, Joel, please, give them to me”

He pushes two fingers inside your soaking wet hole, they enter just easily and he curls them up inside you reaching for your sweetest spot.

“fuck, yes” you howl “god they feel so good, they feel so fucking good, Joel”

“I know baby, I know, you’re taking them so perfectly”

He continues to swirl his tongue over your clit as he pump his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace when you can’t hold your moans anymore and you’re so loud you almost fear his neighbors can hear you “God, Joel, I’m coming - I’m - coming ah- god you’re incr- ah” you’re totally babbling trying to get a complete sentence out of your mouth and you can’t, you just can’t because he’s too much and you never felt that good before.

“Soak my fingers, babe, soak my face, give it all to me”

Your pussy clench around his fingers and you feel breathless as your orgasm washes all over you, his dirty talk made you over the edge.

You whine his name as you come, again and again and he doesn’t stop lapping at you until you’re calm.

He lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around you, you bury your head in the crook of his neck and sigh, “Oh, Joel.”

His hand sits on your ass squeezing gently “Such a good girl for me. I can’t believe you almost called yourself out from this”

You playfully pinch one his nipples “don’t make a fool of me”

“I would never” he says, kissing your hair “I’m just saying that you’re too good to not be taken care of. Your body deserves to feel passion and lust and all of that”

“On that note… there’s something else I’d like to do” you look at him maliciously

“What, baby?”

“I would love to… uhm… fuck, I would love to give you head”

He tilt his head “excuse me miss? Watch your mouth!” You giggle hiding your face in his chest and he laugh, and then he goes serious and ask “You sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, I know” and you raise your face to kiss the lovely bald patch in his beard and you move to his ear and you whisper “I really want that though”

“As you please, sunshine”

You cup his bulge in his boxer and stroke it gently over the fabric “someone else here needs to be taken care of too”

He grunts “yeah, baby, keep going like that”

“Actually… I can make it even better” and you move from his side getting on your knees on the bed and then sitting on your heels as you keep stroking him.

You lower his boxer and his cock spring free, he’s already hard as rock. You lick your lips “delicious” and he looks at you mischievously “I guess you can be naughtier than I thought, baby”

You smirk back at him, lowering yourself on his groin and kissing the tip of his cock, just the tip, gently as a feather.

You giggle and pull back as he bucks up his hips to your mouth “so impatient, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… I didn’t have anyone giving me head in a very long time”

You open your eyes wide “I don't believe it”

“I swear” he says in a lower hoarse tone “I didn’t… I had some one night stand here and there but nothing serious, you know, I needed to be focused on Sarah and my work. so everything was quick and meaningless”

You can’t imagine Joel having meaningless sex with anybody, he’s so respectful and attentive with you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Joel Miller, do you mean to make me believe that all the women in the neighborhood aren’t in love with you?”

“Oh Rose loves me for sure” and you laugh “but about the others… I don’t know, some of them tried a couple of times but I always rejected them. I told you, I didn’t have time for complications”

“Then why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Sarah threatened to sign me up for Tinder if I didn't find someone. And then I met you”

You giggle “so you went out with me to be safe from Tinder”

“At first, maybe. But now you know that it's not just that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

What he just did speaks volumes about how much he likes you.

And you’re even more convinced now.

You lower your head and lick the tip again swirling your tongue around it and he moans.

You slide your tongue flat along his length and wrap your hand around the base. It's big, bigger than you expected but you don't feel intimidated.

“Oh baby, you’re so good to me, what have I done to deserve such a perfect girl?”

He gasps when you took all you can of his cock in your mouth, feeling his length sliding over your tongue and his musky taste invading your palate, you whine beginning to suck like you’re desperate, stroking the rest of it with your fingers.

It doesn’t take too much before you start feeling him throbbing between your lips, he’s right on the edge as you suck and lick and kiss him like the most delicious lollipop you’ve ever had.

He pants loudly bucking his hips “Baby I’m almost - AH- almost there”

You make his cock pop out of your mouth “finish inside me, then”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m on the pill” you nod straddling his crotch and positioning his cock at your entrance.

You slowly lower yourself feeling the tip force its way into your hole and you moan with every inch that pushes its way inside you.

You stay still for a moment feeling his cock fill you up completely.

He says nothing but he looks you in the eyes and the brown of his pupils has become incredibly dark.

Eventually you start moving on top of him, placing your hands on his chest, your pussy making lewd sounds and your tits bouncing, he takes them in his hands squeezing them as he sinks into you, deeper and deeper and harder and harder.

You’re basically riding him and you've never felt so wild and free, your insecurities just disappeared clouded by your pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous like this, look at the way your hips move, it’s so fucking amazing”

You throw yourself onto his chest as you feel his seed paint your walls, you take his mouth with yours stifling his moans that echo inside you.

He slides a hand between you, searching for your clit, and his calloused fingers begin to move over it. You end the kiss to look into his eyes, “don’t stop” he whispers “come for me baby.”

Your head feels light and your vision blurs as you feel your orgasm building up from the depths of your tummy, your pussy clenching and squeezing his cock.

You gush all over him like never before, making a mess of his crotch and the sheets underneath, crying his name so hard.

You rest your head next to his, inhaling the smell of tobacco, wood and the sweat of his neck, and you laugh, you laugh joyfully, “God,” and he does the same, wrapping his arms around you and caressing your back “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I'm sorry”

He holds you tighter “you don't have to be sorry, darling, it was wonderful”

“I made such a mess” you murmur

“So what? Nothing that laundry can’t fix. And I’m good at laundry, you know?”

He kisses your forehead and stroke your cheek “I haven't felt this good in ages”

“Yeah, me too” you kiss him wrapping one your leg around his.

You both stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, kissing every now and then suddenly it hits you and you say, “Do you know who we owe all this to?”

“No, I don’t honey, to whom?” he asks confused.

“Rose” you say “Think about it, if I hadn't brought her medicines that day we wouldn't be here now."

“That’s true. I think we should go visit her and bring her a nice present.”

“Yes. She will love the story of how we met.”

You kiss him again and think about what gift could match this. Probably none, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Hey Bartender

Summary: Reader thinks it's just another shift of bartending but instead meets a drunk golden retriever that sets her up with his best friend.

TW/CW: Eddie Diaz x Reader, Get Together

Requested?: No 

Word Count: 4,087

A/N: I realized I always write reader as a fellow firefighter and wanted to try my hand at not doing that lol. You know I just had to add a drop of angst in there lmao. Anyways, hope you enjoy the read! Much love to all! Requests are Open!

--- Your POV --- 

    It's another Saturday night, and I'm expecting just as many jackasses as usual... Let me tell you, bartending pays well but damn does it suck ass. If I had a nickel for every time a douche bag hit on me, I wouldn't need to bartend, I could just live on my own private island. If I had a dollar for every decent man that ever hit on me, I'd be living on the streets if it weren’t for my weekly paychecks.  

    I drop my bag in the back office and head to the bar, throwing my hair up into a messy bun on the way. When I round the corner of the hallway out into the main area, I can see my coworkers Tiana and Grayson struggling to keep up. I slide through the swinging door with ease and begin taking orders. Soon, the chaos has died down some and I'm able to send Tiana home.  

    A rowdy bunch of college guys, that I see often, come in as she leaves. I raise my voice, "Hey! Don't come in here acting a fool, y'all know better." They sarcastically salute me or wave dramatically before making their way to their favorite table in the corner.  

    A tall, older, and muscular guy takes a seat on the stool in front of me, "You must be the boss lady around here," he states pointing back toward the college kids. 

    I scoff, "Might as well be but no. Our boss tends to only show up when it's slow. What can I get ya?" 

    The man laughs, "Two Jack and Coke, please." 

    I nod and turn around to reach for the Jack Daniels but find it exactly where I had repeatedly told Grayson not to put it, on the top shelf. Placing my hands on my hips, I turn toward my coworker, "Hey, dickhead!" He looks up immediately but I only point in the direction of the bottle I need. He grins with a laugh as he approaches me, grabs the bottle, and passes it down to me. As he returns to the customer, he was helping I gripe, "I swear you only do that to piss me off." 

    He looks at me, still wearing that stupid grin, "Yup, sure do!" 

    I roll my eyes and proceed to finish making my customer's Jack and Coke. When I set the glasses down in front of him, he admits, "If he wasn't making my gaydar go off, I'd be concerned." 

    I laugh, "Yes, Grayson is gay. He's basically my annoying little brother that enjoys making my life difficult." 

    The man laughs, "I'm Tommy," he points behind him, "The one waving his arms around like a crazy person is my lovely boyfriend, Evan." 

    I watch Evan animatedly tell his story for a beat before responding, "I'm (Y/N). What on earth is he talking about?" 

    Tommy shakes his head, "I don't really know. I love listening to him speak, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I zone out because I'm too focused on how pretty he is." 

    This makes me laugh extra hard, "I could see that." 

    Tommy pulls far more than enough cash out of his wallet to pay for the drinks and hands it to me, "Keep the change. See you around, (Y/N)." 

    I nod and watch him leave before jumping because Grayson speaks right in my ear, "He was cute!" 

    I shake my head, "He's gay and taken." 

    Grayson pouts, "Damn... A loss for us both I guess." I laugh and start cleaning up around the bar. 

    Sometime later, I notice something suspicious out of the corner of my eye. There's a gruff looking man leaning far too close to a girl who looks at least half his age. At first glance, I wouldn't even be sure she's old enough to drink but considering they card everyone at the door, she's at least 21 and this man looks to be in his late 40s or early 50s. She is very obviously uncomfortable and from the way her eyes dart around I can tell she's looking for an escape route. 

    I place my hand on Grayson's shoulder, still keeping an eye on her, "I'll be right back." He follows my line of sight and nods in understanding. As I pass the cooler on my way to her, I blindly grab a bottle of water. I step beside her, opposite the man, and place my hand on her shoulder and the water on the table in front of her, "Here's that water you ordered, sweetie." 

    "Aw, I just brought you a drink, Baby. You haven't even touched it yet. You don't need that water, do ya?" the subtleties his voice makes my skin crawl. 

    She avoids eye contact with him as she opens the water and takes a sip before looking me dead in the eyes, "Thank you. Could you point me to the bathroom, please?" 

    I nod, "Sure, I'll walk you there." She hops down from her stool and I put myself between her and the man.  

    I point in the direction we need to go but as she starts that way, the man grabs my right arm, "I think I can handle walking her to the bathroom. Besides, your coworker looks pretty busy over there." 

    I turn slowly to face him. I look down at where his hand is clamped around my right bicep and then back at his face, "I suggest you remove your hand from my body before I remove it from yours." By now everyone in the bar is zeroed in on us. I even notice Tommy, Evan, and a couple of their friends get up from their table. 

    His grip tightens, "I said," spits flecks across my face as he speaks through gritted teeth and with a menacing smile, "I can show her to the bathroom." 

    I wipe my face with my left hand, "Last chance, pal. You have three seconds." I give him a few seconds as promised before using my right hand to remove his hand from my arm, twisting it outwards with a small crack. Anger now replacing the smile on his face, he lunges at me but I drive the palm of my left hand straight into his nose.  

    He doubles over in pain, holding his nose as blood leaks through his fingers, "You bitch!" 

    I glare down at him, "That shit doesn't fly in my bar," I point to the bouncers, snap my fingers, and point down at the piece of shit at my feet. Already on standby, they immediately make their way through the crowd to collect him. I turn to check on the girl and escort her to the bathroom. 

--- Third Person POV --- 

    Bobby and Athena meet the bouncers at the puddle of filth who is still writhing in pain, "My husband is just gonna make sure he doesn't need a stop at the hospital on his way to the police station," she says, as she flashes her badge. The bouncers take a step back to let Bobby work. Athena turns to speak to (Y/N) but finds her already heading toward the bathrooms with the girl.  

    Bobby stands and wipes his hands on a napkin, "Alright, Athena, to the slammer. As far as I can tell she just broke it. No serious damage."  

    Athena nods and looks toward the door where two officers enter. When they approach her, she explains what happened and gives them instructions. A few feet away, Buck leans toward Tommy, "I wonder where she learned to do that." 

    Wondering the same thing, Eddie looks over as Tommy answers, "She had an Army Sergeant's insignia tattooed on her wrist." 

    Eddie nods, "That'll do it." 

    Buck looks toward the bathrooms, "A badass, former Army Sergeant, who can take down a man twice her size...," he looks at Eddie, whose eyes are locked in the same direction, "You should get her number." Eddie rolls his eyes and soon the three are ushered back to the table by Athena and Bobby. 

--- Your POV --- 

    As we arrive at the bathrooms, I wait with the girl in silence. When the door opens and another lady exits, she moves to enter before looking back at me, "Thank you." 

    I nod, "I'll be at the bar if you need me." She nods before entering the bathroom. I make my way back towards the bar and as soon as I round the corner, the college boys in the corner start whooping and hollering. The rest of the bar erupts to join them. I quickly return to the bar, grinning and shaking my head.  

    When the commotion dies down, one of the college kids loudly slurs out, "That, ladies and gentlemen, is why we don't fuck with (Y/N)." Many in the bar laugh before returning to their friends and drinks. Not too long later, I watch the girl meet a few friends at the door and make their way to a table. She smiles at me as she passes. I smile back. 

    I take and make a few more orders before letting Grayson know I'm taking a few minutes for a smoke break. After what feels like too short of a break, I'm checking notifications on my phone when I pass Grayson who grabs my shirt. I look at him in confusion, "What?" 

    He nods toward the other end of the bar where Evan is sat blowing bubbles into a fresh Jack and Coke, "said he wanted to ask you something." 

    Still bewildered, I make my way over to Evan, "What's up, Buttercup?" 

    He snaps his head up from his drink and grins at me before slurring out, "I was wondering if I could have your number," and is quick to add, "b-but not for me! I have a hot pilot boyfriend," the grin on his face gets even bigger, "I'm gonna give it to my friend Eddie who's been staring at you all night," he thinks for a split second, "He also seemed very disappointed when he saw you leave a little bit ago."  

    I laugh but before I can say a single word he goes on, "I came up here and asked your coworker if you were done for the night but he said you were just on break so I waited until you came back." He keeps rambling on and on as I grab a sticky note pad and pen from under the counter. I jot my name and number down. Normally, I wouldn't do this but these Evan and Tommy dudes seem decent so I figure their friend Eddie can't be too bad.  

    Evan is still going when I remove the note and press the sticky side to his forehead. He stops abruptly mid word, "Sweet! I'm Buck by the way." With that, it seems our conversation has come to an end as he gets up and returns to his table, not even removing the sticky note. 

--- Third Person POV --- 

    Hen giggles, “I think the golden has retrieved something.” 

    Tommy follows her line of sight and notices Buck stumbling back toward the table with something attached to his forehead; question already locked and loaded for when he's in earshot, "Whatcha got there?" Buck stops and attempts to pose heroically which makes everyone giggle. Tommy reaches up with one hand to remove the note and pats the bench beside him with the other, prompting Buck to plop down and lay his head on Tommy's shoulder. Realizing what his boyfriend has done, he looks over to Eddie, "I believe this is for you," and hands him the note. 

    Confused, Eddie takes the paper and reads it before looking at Buck with a facial expression that reads, "Seriously?" 

    Buck grins proudly as Maddie nudges Eddie, "You so should text her." 

    Chimney grins, "Or if you're man enough you can call her." Eddie glares at him, very clearly annoyed. He looks down at the paper in his hands and thinks for a few seconds before nudging Tommy and Buck out of the booth. He ignores the excited gasps and "ooo"s that break out behind him and makes his way to the bar. 

--- Your POV --- 

    I look up from the beer I'm pouring and notice one of Tommy and Buck's friends heading my direction. I top the beer off and hand it to the college kid in front of me just as the newcomer takes a seat to my left. He's staring straight ahead and hasn't said a word. 

    I wipe my hands off on a towel and grab a glass before crossing the short distance between us, "You're either a whiskey guy or a fruity cocktail guy. What'll it be?" 

    He smiles and tilts his head as he looks at me, "Whiskey, please." 

    I nod and turn around, aiming to grab the bottle of Jack I left on the other counter but find it has mysteriously moved back up to the top shelf. I whip my head in Grayson's direction but his back is turned to me. Placing my hands on my hips I glare up at the bottle. "Do you need me to-" Eddie tries to ask but instead I step up onto a shelf under the counter and climb up to stand on the granite, promptly procuring the bottle, "Guess not," I hear Eddie chuckle behind me as I scrunch up the towel on my shoulder and throw it at Grayson.  

    It nails him right in the back of the head, although not all very hard. He turns around grinning until he notices me still standing on the counter. An expression of fear almost crosses his features before he speaks, "Rodney will have your ass for standing on his counter," a teasing hint of humor in his tone. 

    I flip him off, "Rodney can suck a dick. I'd say you should too but you'd enjoy it too much," I punctuate my sentence by jumping down from the counter. Grayson doubles over in laughter as I turn back to my customer, who is also laughing his ass off. 

    As I pour the whiskey, I ask, "So, are you the Eddie that Buck mentioned?" 

    He looks back at the table where his friends are very clearly pretending to not be watching, minus Buck who is staring at us with his chin in his hands. He looks down at his whiskey, "Yeah," and takes a sip. 

    I tilt my head at him, "You don't seem too thrilled." 

    He makes eye contact with me, "To be honest, my heart is racing a mile a minute. I'm not like wasted or anything but uh," he looks back at the table and then at his glass, "I've got enough liquor in my system right now that when Chimney challenged that I wouldn't call you, I was like, 'Oh yeah? Watch this,'" he looks up at me again, "So, here I am with no clue what to say and possibly making a fool of myself." 

    I can't help but laugh, "I've had plenty of men make fools of themselves in front of me. I promise, you sir, are not one of them." 

    He smiles at this and is quiet for a few beats before asking, "Would it- would it be okay if I called you?" 

    I give him an "are you serious?" look, "Eddie, if it wasn't okay for you to call me, I wouldn't have given Buck my number." I swear I see him blush as he looks down at his glass again, nodding. I hear a customer call my name and grimace, "Give me a sec." He nods so I move to serve the customer and when I return to where Eddie was seated, he's back at the table with his friends. He's left cash on a napkin that has a note scribbled on it: 

I'll call you tomorrow when I can actually form coherent sentences :) - Eddie P.S. Keep the change! 

    I smile softly to myself and look up toward their table to find him already looking my way. I wave and he returns the wave before I slip the napkin into my back pocket and move on to take some more orders on Grayson's end of the bar. 

    The next morning, or rather the next afternoon, when I roll out of bed I immediately reach for my phone. I find a text from an unknown number: 

This is Tommy from the bar. Just in case Eddie loses the sticky note, I added your number into his phone. Figured I'd shoot you a text so you have his :) 

    I smile and lay my phone back down on the side table. My excited anticipation dwindles quickly as hours turn into days of not hearing from Eddie. I'm beginning to think he was just drunk that night and wasn't actually interested. One afternoon, as I'm getting ready for work, I glance at my phone for the millionth time hoping to see something from Eddie. No such luck... I open up the text conversation and my fingers hover over the keyboard trying to decide what to say. This isn't the first time I've done this in the past few days. Once again, I finally give up and shove my phone back in my pocket. I head to work with a pit in my stomach and disappointment heavy in my chest. 

    That evening, Grayson and all of my regulars notice how down I am and a few even try to cheer me up or be an ear to listen, including Grayson who hasn't stopped pestering me about it every chance he gets. "So, did things not work out with Lover Boy?" I brush him off and start wiping down the bar. "Come on, (Y/N). Talk to me," he sighs, "I know I'm a dick sometimes but I do care about you and I don't like seeing you so upset." 

    I take a deep breath as I toss the dirty towel into the laundry bin, "He never called. Never even texted either. And it's not because he lost my number, Tommy saved it into his phone for him." I can't hide the disappointment and hurt in my tone. 

    "Are you serious? Dude was absolutely entranced by you but doesn't bother to contact you?" Grayson asks, dumbfounded. 

    I shrug, heading for the cellar door, "I'm gonna restock. Holler if you need me." 

    He lets me go and as the door shuts behind me, I feel tears prickle against my eyes. Why am I about to cry over some dude I've only met once and only shared a few sentences with? Frustrated, I wipe my eyes and grab a few bottles that I know we need. Half way up the stairs, tears threaten to spill again. Sighing in defeat, I descend back down, place the bottles on a table, and drop to the floor against the wall with my head in my hands. This shit is why I don't let myself get hung up on guys anymore. The tears are flowing freely when I hear the cellar door open, "(Y/N)?"  

    Grayson sounds worried so I answer, "Yeah?" but my voice comes out weak and shaky.  

    I hear his footsteps descend the stairs rapidly before he drops to the floor beside me, "Hey, you okay?" 

    I look up from my hands and make eye contact, "I thought this one was different. I let myself hope. Now look at me, crying on the floor of a dusty ass cellar." 

    Grayson rubs my back comfortingly, "It's okay to cry, (Y/N)." 

    I drop my head back in my hands, "No it's not, not over a man I don't even know. I'm an independent woman who don't need no man. I shouldn't be this heart broken." 

    "First of all, yes, it's still okay to cry. Second, you may be independent but everyone needs somebody to love," Grayson says softly. 

    From the top of the stairs, a voice rings out, "Hey Grayson, quite a few people wanting drinks up here." 

    "We'll be up in a minute," he answers before pulling my face to look at him, "Get up, dust yourself off, and let's go have a good time, okay?" 

    I sigh deeply, "Okay," and wipe my tears. On our way up, I grab the bottles I had set down earlier and by the time we reach the top of the stairs, I've promised myself I won't shed another tear over this man unless he earns it. 

    Later that evening, I'm wiping down the bar again after a rush. In my peripheral, I notice someone take a seat and toss the towel away to tend to them. When I finally look over, my heart starts racing. It's Eddie. He's staring at his hands where he interlocked them on the bar top. I look around, hoping to pass him off to Grayson but find him helping other customers. I take a deep breath before smoothing out my shirt and walking over to Eddie. 

    "What can I get for you?" I ask, attempting to keep my tone friendly and even but it still shakes the slightest bit. His head shoots up and he makes direct eye contact with me. There's something in his eyes that makes me tilt my head. 

    He breaks eye contact and breaths deeply, looking back to his hands, "Listen, I- I'm sorry. I know I haven't called or texted. I tried to several times but I didn't know what to say. Buck says I was overthinking it too much but... I don't know, I just- I didn't wanna fuck it up." 

    A small smile touches my lips but I squash down the hope that's trying to breach the surface, "Eddie, a hello would've been sufficient." 

    He looks up at me and grimaces, "That's what Tommy said but I didn't wanna sound so- so casual I guess?" 

    Bewilderment replaces my smile, "What?" 

    He hesitates a second, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I didn't want to sound so uninterested when you're all I've been able to think about for days. I also didn't want to sound too interested and scare you off... Which I may have just done anyways," he shakes his head in embarrassment as he looks back down at the bar top. 

    The grin on my face kind of hurts as I tuck my finger under his chin and lift it. His eyes have a touch of worry in them when they lock with mine, "I almost texted you several times too but didn't for the same exact reason." For some reason, I let myself get a little vulnerable, "I may or may not have cried a few hours ago because I was so disappointed that I didn't hear from you..." 

    I pull away as shock etches across his features, "I'm so sorry." 

    I shrug, "Forgiven, as long as you take me out on a date at some point and remember that my number exists in your phone." 

    He grins, nodding, "I will. When are you off work this week?" 

    I look up at the ceiling trying to remember, "All day Wednesday and Sunday and then until 3pm every other day." 

    When I look back at him, he smiles, "How does coffee sound Wednesday morning? 10am?" 

    I mirror his expression, "Sounds great!" 

    I can barely contain my excitement over the next few days and wake up before my alarm even goes off Wednesday morning after tossing and turning all night. I jolt up in bed, checking my phone in a panic, thinking I've slept through my alarm going off. Relief courses through my veins when I realize there's still an hour until it will. Excitement quickly floods that relief out of my system and I hop out of bed with a spring in my step. 

    Sometime later, as I enter the small outdoor café early but too excited to wait, I see Eddie threading his fingers through his hair at a table, having beat me there. I smile brightly and approach his table. He stands as soon as he sees me, pulls out my chair for me, and motions to the coffee in front of it, “I wasn’t sure how you like your coffee but if it’s wrong just let me know and I can order you something else.”  

    I giggle, take a sip and grin, “It’s perfect,” and as I look at him sitting across from me, knee bouncing and fingers fidgeting with his coffee cup I can’t help but think he’s perfect too. 

More 911

Main Masterlist

[bleedingoptimism]

Eddie is pacing, going to Tarja’s room and back to the kitchen where she’s sitting with a smile puffing her cute freckled cheeks and kicking her little feet back and forth.

He checks she has everything she needs, clothes, pajamas, scrunchies, and her drawing book. He makes sure he packed her Toothless toothbrush and her plushie. She’s been on a ‘How To Train Your Dragon’ phase for a while now.

He’s not usually that nervous about her leaving to stay at her father’s for the week.

But she’s not usually this excited either.

See, her asshole of a father, has a new boyfriend, and apparently, he’s amazing and Tarja loves him. And she can't wait to spend more time with him. 

And Eddie, he’s kind of curious and not jealous. At all. Really. He’s just curious about him, he just can’t understand how his asshole of an ex can be dating someone that’s supposedly nice, funny, and caring. Someone who talks to his kid when she’s upset, picks her up from school on time, and spends time playing around with her outside when she gets the jitters.

Tommy, his ex, is an awful person. He was the worst thing that happened to him and Eddie would’ve loved to never see him again, he just happens to also be attached to be best thing that ever happened to him, his daughter.

A one-night stand that asked him for marriage after he knocked him up, (because his father forced him to, but Eddie found that out on the divorce) that Eddie had only agreed to marry because he was scared he wouldn't be able to afford to take care of a kid alone.

He filed for a divorce so quickly after, that it was almost an annulment. Thankfully, Tommy wasn’t as bad of a parent as he was a husband, determined to be better than his own old man. So Eddie had no problem sharing custody with him. They agreed on a visitation schedule without issues and they have been civil for the last six years.

And then Tommy got a new boyfriend. And Tarja loves him. And Eddie is not jealous. He’s not.

He’s just nervous because he’s coming to pick her up and he’s going to meet him for the first time and finally see what all the fuzz is about.

The doorbell rings and Eddie checks the time and grumbles when he sees he’s pleasantly on time. Tarja jumps off the stool and runs to the entrance, “Steve!” she screams excitedly as she opens the front door.

And Eddie stands there with a little backpack that is also shaped like Toothless as the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life kneels in front of his daughter and hugs her close.

“Hello, little dragon! I missed you!” he greets her and Eddie does not notice how beautiful and melodic his voice is while Steve holds Tarja’s shoulders as she jumps up and down excitedly telling him everything she’s got planned for them to do with a soft smile on his face.

And then Steve looks up and Eddie sees the warmth in his pretty brown-green eyes and he feels like he just missed a step going down the stairs. He smiles dumbly back at him as Steve gets up with Tarja sitting on his waist and extends a hand to him,

“Hi! You must be Eddie! I’ve heard so much about you!” Eddie shakes his hand and gets stuck thinking about how soft they are instead of answering so Steve keeps talking, “Only good things!” he says nervously and Eddie shakes his head and stops thinking about the two moles on Steve’s left cheek and smiles back.

“It’s nice to finally meet you! Tarja won't stop talking about you” He says and hopes it doesn't come out a little bitter.

Steve smiles bashfully and pokes Tarja’s tummy, “Yeah, she’s a little chatterbox isn’t she? I heard she got that from you” he quips.

Eddie frowns about to jokingly act offended but Steve’s eyes go huge and he blushes, “Oh! No I meant that as a good thing! I love it, I love her, I mean-” he stammers and Tarja giggles at his nervousness and Eddie melts a little.

After they exchange information, just in case, Eddie needs to remind himself, and Eddie gives Steve Tarja’s backpack there’s not much more to say so he hugs her kid and kisses her goodbye.

Steve picks her up again, “C'mon let's go,” he tells her and then purses his lips a little, “Tommy is probably waiting” he sighs warily, and oh, that’s interesting.

He waves Eddie goodbye wiggling his fingers cutely and Eddie waves back and closes the door and frowns at it,

“Man… why couldn’t I have Tarja with Steve?” 

👉 next part

☕🥐💕?

[stellarspecter]

STWG daily prompt 8/2/24: hanahaki

wc: 737 | pairing: pre-steddie, platonic stobin | read on ao3

this takes place in a world with chronic hanahaki! so it doesn't kill you, it just makes you kind of sick for a bit until it becomes requited or you get over them. most people end up getting it at least once in their lives.

“Got a crush, dingus?”

Steve stares at the retreating back of Eddie Munson, jingling through the aisles as he juggles his car keys and his stack of newly-rented movies. “...You can't prove anything.”

Robin snorts. “The fact that you need to say that is proof enough.”

“No, it's not,” Steve pouts. Is he really so obvious?

“It literally is.” Robin rolls her eyes. “What's so special about him anyway? He's a drug dealer who looks like a wet rat. I didn't think that was your type.”

Steve sighs. “It's… not,” he concedes. “I think my type is passionate nerdy brunettes.”

Robin wrinkles her nose. “Ew.”

“He's not ugly or anything!” Steve cries. “He's cute. His hair could use some work, but his eyes are��� so brown. And his lips…”

“Don't say so pink,” Robin groans.

Steve clears his throat instead of laughing. “Well, they are very pink.”

“Showstopping. Unexpected. Incredible. Who could have seen this coming,” she deadpans.

“Okay, so I'm not a poet or anything,” Steve gripes, “but I'm not wrong, either. There's just something about him…” He trails off, thinking about Eddie's smile, the way his eyes sparkle when he gets to talk about his music, the little flourishes he adds to every movement. Everything about him is captivating to Steve, and he just can't get his mind off of him.

“Ugh,” he hears Robin groan over his thoughts. “I'm not gonna stop hearing about Munson for a while, am I?”

“Not if you keep hanging arou—” He's cut off by a vicious cough. He keeps trying to clear his throat, but something's stuck in it and he can't get it out. Maybe part of his bagel from breakfast? Gross.

He keeps coughing, a concerning rattle that doesn't cease until he spits a few petals on the counter.

He and Robin stare at them in silence.

“Looks like he's not going away anytime soon,” Steve says weakly. His head thunks down on the counter, just inches away from the spit-soaked petals.

“I cannot fucking believe, out of all the people on this earth, you have hanahaki for Munson. Munson. Threepeat senior drug dealer Eddie Munson.”

Steve stays folded over, mentally going over every interaction he's had with him, because hanahaki? Really? 

But he's always fallen easily, hasn't he? It's not like it's his first time with it. He'd gotten it almost every year since seventh grade, infatuated with classmate after classmate. Tommy and Carol always made fun of him for it, but he couldn't help how he loved.

He just didn't expect this time to be Eddie Munson.

“Like I said,” he starts, peeling himself off the counter to meet eyes with Robin, “I think he's cute.”

She just scoffs. “You know I'm never gonna stop making fun of you for this, right? This is literally so embarrassing for you.”

“You know, I thought I'd end up getting hanahaki for you,” he casually tells her.

She gasps, her mind immediately taken off of Munson. “No!”

“Yeah,” he confirms with a sheepish smile. “I didn't, I think cause we got kidnapped before I got too serious about it. But I really expected you to be my hanahaki crush for that year.”

She's silent for a moment. “You know, I can't decide if that's endearing or concerning.”

“Decide on endearing, please,” he says, and she snaps her fingers.

“Done. Now, back to Munson.” 

Steve lays back down and despairs that the topic change didn’t distract her well enough. “Do we have to?”

“If you’re gonna get over your case of hanahaki, then yes,” she tells him.

“If I ignore it for long enough it goes away,” he mumbles.

“Or if you ask him out, it’s either requited and it goes away or he rejects you and it goes away.” Robin’s too smart for her own good, Steve thinks. He doesn’t think she’s even had hanahaki yet. “You know I’m right, dingus.”

“Why do you have to be so good at logic?” he grumbles, but turns to peek at her anyways.

She rolls her eyes and gets her arms under his armpits, hauling him upright. “Get it together, dingus, we’ve gotta figure out our plan to woo Munson and cure your hanahaki. You with me?”

“I’m with you,” Steve says. He presses his hands over his eyes hard for one, two, three seconds, then takes a deep breath and meets Robin’s gaze. “Okay. Let’s get these flowers gone.”

dividers by saradika-graphics!

[roxxie-spirt]

As I said in my last post, I was going to draw laurances all hot n bothered but I also just wanted an excuse to draw void!laurmau because DAWG THEYRE KINDA CUTE 😭😭 Void!aph n Laurances dynamic was so cute and funny like UGH AND THE FACT LAURANCE PROTECTS HER AS IF SHES HIS OWN APHMAU LIKE BRO LOVES AND PROTECTS HER IN ANY UNIVERSE I love Laurances character as much as any aphblr user , that’s all, I love my son anywho lemme keep talking about void paradox the series I wish continued.

I loved the mini series it was a nice break from the post Jess was making at the time ( a lot of myst content ) but also it was just super cool?? Seeing the mod mod world again I do wish she brought back Reese n marsh just cause I loved those two brothers as a kid but not the point. It was just super cool seeing an MCD character in modern times?? Especially with an Aphmau who didn’t know ANYTHING of this character like if it was mystreet Aphmau she would’ve made fun or poked at Laurance since she knew him but this Aphmau hadn’t a clue who he was?? Which omg opened to so much character for Laurance n void! Aphmau!! It didn’t show Casanova Laurance it just showed a guard who thought void!Aph was his and even after the fact he wanted to stay by her , ALSO JUST I KNOW I KEEP BRINGING IT UP BUT THEIR DYNAMICSSS AHHH ITS SO FUNNY !! Laurance being the more serious one out of the two is so unlike him especially where his character development was at?? Ok imma get to some lil hc(?)

Btw! I did draw the two slightly in different styles more of line work n shading IM NOT BEING INCONSISTENT IM BEING SPIDER-MAN

Laurance n void!aph explored eachothers bodies laurance still thinks it was a dream and so when he kisses MCD! Aph he says that was his first kiss, it was in fact not

I’d like to think void!Aph doesn’t just forget about Laurance , but she does look back at the weird medieval guard who kept her safe for those few knights a lot and often chats to Tommy about him

Void Aphmau does talk to Laurance about MCD!Aphmau and she out right tells him to take his chance on her, ofc Laurance tells her he’s waiting for Garroth to tell his feelings but void Aphmau laughs at him straight up and teases if he even likes her if he’s waiting for another man to confess. Laurances get fed up with her comment but he does think about that comment a lot even though he knows she knows nothing about his life .

Laurance when he talks to Tommy can’t help but see Malachi weirdly enough

Laurance out of habit moves void Aphmaus hair out of her face as he does to MCD Aphmau but voidaph is purposely outing her hair in her face

Once when Laurance was watching over void Aph as she slept he lightly grazed his hand on her cheek where MCD!aphmaus mark would be. Tommy called him out for being weird

ok that’s all bye 😇😇

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Preoutbreak: Sarah is in college and brings home a friend Joel is secretly attracted to.]

Smut, big age gap

“Don’t you worry, baby girl, you keep those pretty eyes on me, no one’s gonna see us.”

A few months into your freshman year in college you became friends with a girl named Sarah. She was sweet, funny and you both had many things in common. It was finally your first break after months of exams and papers and so you two planned to have a fun night out. Sarah had planned for you to go over her house that evening for dinner just so her father could meet who she would be hanging out with. She warned you about how her father would be asking many questions as any typical father would.

That night Sarah first introduced you to her uncle Tommy, he was friendly just as she had described him to be. Her father, Joel soon came out of his room meeting you all in the kitchen.

“There he is” Sarah spoke playfully greeting her father before turning to you.

“This is who I’ve been telling you about, please don’t scare her off” she whispered to him not noticing the way his eyes lightened up the second they landed on you.

“Nice to meet you, Mr.Miller” you smiled politely.

“Please hun, you can call me Joel” he stretched his hand out to you. Your eyes equally lighting up at the sight of him, you didn’t expect to be so attracted to him.

“You two studying the same thing?”

“Yes” Sarah quickly interjected.

“Just call me when the pizzas here” she quickly pulled you into her room as Joel and Tommy both watched you until you she closed the door.

“She’s cute” Tommy shrugged making Joel look back at him.

“College girls now huh?” Joel responded sarcastically before taking a sip of his beer and walking away. The only thing was, Joel thought you were cute too, hell he thought you were beautiful but he wouldn’t admit it.

“Pizzas here!” Joel called out to the room as you both came out laughing together.

“I want in on the joke” Joel said as he opened up the box of pizza.

“Sorry, dad you wouldn’t get it you’re the past the fourty mark” Sarah teased.

“Hahaha” Joel tone was playful before taking a bite of his pizza.

You sat across from Joel as you ate, you could see his eyes on you.

“So, what’s this party you lady’s are going to?” You looked at Sarah waiting for her to answer.

“It’s a club-“

“A club” Joel raised his brows.

Joel wasn’t used to his daughter partying much, in his eyes she was still his little girl.

“Yes dad a club, you know where women my age like to go and have some fun” Joel cleared his throat a little uncomfortable with the thought just because he knew what was out there. His eyes landed on you making your heart begin to race.

“Do you drink, hun?”

“Dad we’re twenty not fifteen!” Sarah interjected making Tommy chuckle.

“Sorry about that, my brother can be a little-“

“Overprotective” Sarah continued.

“It’s ok, my parents would be the same if they were still alive” your comment catching both men off guard.

“Oh it’s fine, it was when I was a baby. I don’t remember” a slight awkward chuckle escaped your lips followed by silence.

“I’m sorry, darlin’” Joel eventually spoke with sincerity.

You smiled at him and sighed.

“Well this pizza is delicious” you changed the topic quickly as they all agreed.

The next day you and Sarah planned to meet at her job and leave from there until she learned her shift was changed last minute. Sarah would be leaving work later than you and realized she forgot a pair of heels to change into. Last minute she asked if you could pass by her job to pick up her house keys in order to get her shoes for her. It was already eight o’ clock and you were dressed ready to go thinking she would be out earlier.

“Don’t worry, no one’s home you can just walk in and grab my black heels in the closet then we’ll go once I’m off the clock.” She explained over the phone as you pulled up in front of her house.

Once you hung up you entered her house and quietly walked towards her bedroom when you suddenly heard the bathroom door open before you could reach her door. You gasped to see Joel walk out of a steamed room with only a towel around his waste.

“Mr.Miller-oh my gosh-“ you froze unable to move as your eyes wandered down his wet chest before you caught yourself.

“I’m so sorry, I thought no one was here” you quickly looked away as he stood caught off guard himself. In a panic not knowing what to do with yourself, you didn’t notice the way he was looking at you. A black mini dress that flattered your curves, a touch of cleavage giving a peak at your plump breasts, Joel cleared his throat quickly looking away.

“Is there something you need?” He asked covering up his reaction with an irritated tone.

“I’m sorry, Sarah asked me to come by and pick up her black heels for her because she’s coming out of work later, I-“

“Well go on,” he cut you off just trying to get you away from his view before you could notice how hard he was about to be. Quickly running to her bedroom your heart raced as you checked her closet and didn’t find no damn shoes.

“Dammit, Sarah!” You whispered just hoping to finally leave from there. On your knees you checked under her bed not knowing Joel stood at the door way with the very heels you were looking for.

“Come on” you whispered reaching farther into her bed giving Joel the perfect view of your ass cheeks slightly peeking through beneath your dress. Joel stood still silently taking the sight before him, if you were someone else he would’ve taken you in the hall in that very moment….but you were his daughters friend…hell you were only twenty years old.

“Shit” you whispered as you stood up when the sudden sound of Joel’s voice made you jump.

“Looking for these?” You turned to him to still find him with his wet hair slick back, your lips parting but you couldn’t find the words to say.

“Sweetheart” he tilted his head dangling the shoes off his fingers.

“Oh-um yes” you walked towards him silently taking the shoes off his hand as he took a quick glimpse at your cleavage before you could notice. His damp skin glistening from the light in the hall, the two of you trying your hardest to keep your eyes off each other…to keep your hands off each other.

“I better go” you smiled nervously as he nodded still at the doorway. Slowly you slid by him, your breast accidentally brushing up past his arm as you practically ran to the door. Joel stood in silent watching as you walked out and closed the door shut.

“Oh my god” you whispered as you rushed starting your car and driving off as fast as you could.

“You ok?” Sarah asked as she sat in the passenger seat rushing to put on her heels.

“Yeah why?”

“I don’t know..you look weird” she looked at you with a raised brow.

“No I’m fine, let’s just get going”

“Ok, you’re sleeping over my place tonight right?” She asked as she put on her seatbelt.

“What?” You almost jumped at the question.

“Remember? You said you’d sleep at my place after? Girl what’s wrong with you? You definitely need a drink.” She chuckled before you pulled off into the road.

The whole night out dancing you enjoyed yourself yet you couldn’t stop thinking about Joel. You were anxious to see him that night, a part of you wanting to while the other half of you wanted to hide away from embarrassment. Sarah ended up drinking a little more than you did to a point where she began to stumble.

“My fathers….gonna kill me” she slurred.

“Don’t worry, lets eat something and get you home.” By the end of the night you had drank so little that you sobered up in time. Sarah was mumbling away things that you couldn’t understand as she walked beside you before getting into the car.

“Are you feeling a little better?” You asked Sarah twenty minutes into the drive.

“Yes, I just want to shower and get into bed” she sighed. Once arriving Sarah seemed to be a little more steady on her feet thankfully, quietly walking beside you she looked through her window to see Joel on the couch.

“Great, he was probably waiting up for me. He’s on the couch watching a movie” your heart sunk not expecting to see him the moment you walked through the door.

Joel looked over hearing the door unlock and watched as you both quietly walked in.

“Wasn’t expecting you two back for another hour” he leaned forward as he noticed you struggled to look him in the eye.

“Hi Mr.Miller” you whispered before finally looking up at him, the two of you locking eyes for just a moment.

“Hey dad, we’re just exhausted. Gonna head to my room, we’ll talk in the morning.” Sarah spoke with a groggy voice as Joel stood up and watched you both walk past him. His eyes couldn’t help but look at your back side when you suddenly looked back at him and caught him checking you out. He quickly looked up yet didn’t say a word, what could he say? Looking away you walked into Sarah’s room and closed the door.

“My uncles probably knocked out already, I’m sure my dads gonna sleep now that I’m home. If you don’t mind I’m gonna shower I reek of tequila.” You laughed and began to take off your make up. You could hear Joel saying goodnight to Sarah as she walked to the bathroom, the sound of Joel’s bedroom door closing before she started her shower.

With a sigh you changed into your oversized shirt still thinking about how Joel looked at you today. Maybe it was all in your imagination, why would your friends father look at you this way?

Sarah warned you she would take a while in the shower and you could feel your stomach rumbling for something small having barely eaten that day. Hesitantly you opened the door to a dark living room and no one around. Tip towing into the kitchen you turned on a small lamp searching for something to eat when you found some chocolate chip cookies.

“Yes” you whispered taking a bite into one with a satisfied sigh. Joel silently made his way out of his room and found you in the kitchen with your back to him. Once again he found himself with the beautiful view of your legs, Joel couldn’t understand this attraction he couldn’t ignore. He knew it was wrong to look at you this way but he found it harder and harder to stop himself.

“Enjoying that cookie huh?” Joels voice made you jump as you turned to find him leaning on the door way with his arms crossed. He wore a navy blue shirt with grey sweat pants that you of course noticed traced the print of his manhood perfectly.

“I didn’t hear you come out, I thought everyone was asleep”

“I’m sorry, darlin’ did I scare you?” He stood up straight and began to walk towards you.

“No, not at all. I just-“ you became distracted with the way he was looking at you listening carefully to what you had to say.

“Look about today, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were home and-“

“Mhm” he nodded as he continued walking towards you to a point that you began to back up.

“If I would’ve known that you were going to walk out like that-“ you noticed Joel cornered you back against the kitchen counter, his body close enough to where you had no where to go.

“Mr.Miller…” you whispered noticing his eyes wandered to your lips.

“Mhm” he looked back up with eyes that you found to be so dreamy you could melt. It was as if he didn’t notice how close he was to you or maybe he did and he didn’t care.

“I um…” you found yourself at a loss for words when he slowly and unexpectedly placed his index finger under your chin angling your face towards him leaning in and kissing you. In that moment you felt something explode within you, your body feeling as if it was lifted up off the ground before you slowly pulled back.

“Mr.Miller..Sarah-“

“I know” he interrupted in a husky voice.

“This isn’t right” you whispered.

“I know” before you could say another word he leaned in again kissing you passionately..this time you didn’t stop him. His hands held your waist and he kissed you more eagerly, a trail of kisses leading to your neck, he felt your body sink against his.

“What are we doing?” You whispered but he didn’t say a word, his lips covering yours when you felt his erection poking against your pelvis. Joel couldn’t control himself any longer, he pushed his pants far enough where his cock was exposed and lifted up one of your legs. The head of his cock brushing against your soaked underwear, he could feel the heat from your pussy calling for him. Joel looked down at you as he pulled your underwear to the side, allowing him to enter. You held your breath at the first feel of his cock beginning to enter you, grabbing onto his shirt tightly. With a crease between his brow Joel kept his eyes on you feeling how aroused you were as he fully entered with a quick thrust.

“Mr-Mr.Miller..” you gasped feeling how big he was inside you. He didn’t say a word, slowly thrusting into a rythm that made you drip down his cock. His eyes never left yours as he fucked you, he knew he shouldn’t have been doing this but it felt so fucking good. You could hear Sarah still in the shower, you couldn’t believe what you were doing. How the hell did you end up having sex standing up with your friends father in the kitchen.

Joel held your leg up leaning his face now against your neck as his breathing grew heavier. Your eyes rolling back with your fingers through his curls, you moaned with him beginning to thrust harder.

“Fuck” he lifted his head as sweat built up making his curls stick to his forehead.

“That feels so good” you whispered breathlessly looking up at him as if you were begging for more.

“It do, don’t it?” He grunted before leaning in to kiss you again. He moved faster as your nails dug into his shoulder blades with each deep stroke.

He caught you looking over his shoulder afraid Tommy would come out at any point.

“Don’t you worry, baby girl, you keep those pretty eyes on me, no one’s gonna see us” he panted.

You nodded trusting his word.

Joel continued to push harder almost making you lose your balance on one foot. You gasped but he held you in place not letting you move.

“I got you, darlin’ you’re not going anywhere” he assured you. You moaned feeling his balls slap against you when an unexpected squeal left your lips as he abruptly pulled out and came hard.

“Fuck” his cum dripping down his hand onto the floor. You gasped leaning back onto the counter as you watched him finish off when the sound of the water being shut off distracted you.

“Shit, she’s coming out-“

“Fuck” Joel still out of breath rushed cleaning up as you ran to the room with your heart racing. Minutes later Sarah entered to find you pretending to be half asleep in bed.

“Sorry I took long” she sighed.

“It’s ok” you sat up wanting to rush to the bathroom.

“Just gonna wash up quick and get back to bed” she nodded and lay back in her bed ready to fall asleep.

That night you and Joel couldn’t sleep, awake in your own beds thinking about what you had just done. Joel had never done anything like this before, not with a friend of his daughters.

What the hell would Sarah think?

Then Joel thought about what must’ve been going through your head. Here you were cornered by a man twice your age and seduced, the last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable in any way.

The next morning you and Sarah came out to find Tommy had made eveyone a big breakfast. Joel sat at the table as you sat next to Sarah.

You couldn’t look up, your face down staring into your plate the whole time while Joel couldn’t help but glance at you any chance he could get.

“So how was your night ladies?” Tommy asked making you look up.

Oh your night was just great, an unexpected quickie with your friends father but that’s all. You couldn’t help but think sarcastically to yourself.

“It was fun just never drinking tequila again” Sarah chuckled.

“How about you” Tommy asked you but you weren’t paying attention.

“Hey” Sarah nudged you catching your attention.

“What was it, sorry” You smiled awkwardly at Tommy.

“I asked how was your night, how’d you like tequila?”

“Oh no, I barely drank” Joel looked at you as he ate his eggs.

“Oh so she’s a good girl, maybe you can learn a thing or two from her, Sarah” Tommy teased.

“Uncle Tommy, you shouldn’t talk” she teased back.

“Alright alright, got me there” Joel noticed your mind wander off again as Sarah and Tommy laughed together.

“Hey, you’re off today right?” Sarah looked at you.

“If you want we can do our nails, I got some new colors in my room and-“

“I um-sorry, I can’t. I have to go, I have um-I have somewhere to be” Sarah noticed how strangely you sounded but didn’t question anything in that moment.

“Ok another time is fine” she shrugged.

Joel felt guilty noticing how you were acting and was trying to find a way to speak to you without anyone knowing. As Tommy stayed busy on the phone in his room and Sarah watched a movie in hers, Joel caught you on your way out.

“Hey” he walked towards you by the door before you could open it.

“You alright?” He looked down at you in concern as you looked down at the floor.

“I’m fine”

“Listen, hun I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I shouldn’t have-“

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I wanted it as much as you did, Mr.Miller” you looked up at him, your words surprising him.

“That’s why I need to leave…I can’t do this. You’re my friends father and-it felt so good but-“

“But what-“

“I have to go” you quickly walked out not being able to say much more. Joel watched you get in your car wondering if he would see you around again…hoping he would…

[pacifymebby]

Hi! I was wondering if you can do a HC of the peaky blinders men having a lover who sings, like they sing so beautifully, and they like sing privately to the boys like love songs to them or a song they made up while slow dancing with them in a room (omfg that would be cute!) Thanks!! Hope your day goes well!! 💜

Aw this is so sweet <3

Warnings: nsfw in some places

Tommy

🌿He heard you singing before he heard you speaking. He was stood behind you in the queue at the bakery and you were singing to yourself under your breath.

🌿Even though you were only singing quietly he could already tell you were a good singer, that he'd like to hear you singing properly.

🌿 So he leant down and spoke quietly to you, "sing a little louder love, shame to waste such a pretty song by keeping it to yourself..."

🌿 Naturally you hushed up pretty sharpish, turning with a little gasp, a blush flourishing on your cheeks. You even apologised upon seeing who it was you'd disturbed with your little song...

🌿But he just chuckles and asks you again, "No I mean it, I you have a lovely voice, I'd like to hear a little more..."

🌿Then you're really blushing because this is Tommy Shelby you're talking to and he's asking you to sing for him in the middle of the bakery, and no one refuses him when he asks for something...

🌿 So you do, because you have to. You're trembling with nerves when you begin to sing a little louder, and you feel the eyes of other people in the shop watching you. You know that impromptu singing isn't exactly normal for a Thursday morning...

🌿 But its Tommys eyes on you that are doing the most damage. He's watching you so intensely.

🌿And when you finish your song, trailing off because your nerves have caught up to you and you feel ridiculous - which you tell him - he just takes your hands, tells you you're shaking, and then tells you again that your voice is beautiful.

🌿He pays for your shopping as a thank you and you expect never to see him again however that isnt the case and you seem to see him more often than ever. Its like he's searching you out...

🌿And he is... After hearing you sing for the first time he's obsessed with you, he thinks you've the most pure and angelic voice... It soothed him, calmed him when he needed to be brought back down to earth and he's determined to get close to you, have you all to himself.

🌿And naturally Tommy gets what he wants, he always does. He goes to the bakery at least once a day, always vague about why he's there, never lying about it because he isn't embarrassed or ashamed of that kind of thing. His determination has always been a strong point.

🌿 "In here a lot lately Tommy, and you don't have a sweet tooth in you..." "No, no you're right Sammy I don't... I'm just looking for someone, figure they do have a sweet tooth," shoots the baker boy a knowing half smile, like they're sharing an in joke, because he knows that being friendly with this lad will get him the information he wants.

🌿"Comes in first thing Saturday mornin and first thing Mondays too, sometimes shes in on a Wednesday for bread flour..."

🌿 So the next Saturday morning he's there bright and early and he finds himself in the queue behind you again, but today you know hes there and youre shy and embarassed remembering what happened last time... So you're not singing.

🌿And Tommys very dissapointed. "Quiet this morning little bird," he muses quietly, leaning down behind you, talking right beside your ear, making you jump and blush when you turn around startled by him. He enjoys seeing you startled and made shy by him, if he's being honest he really likes the sight of that, but he apoligises to you anyway, ever the gentlemen and he just like that he tells you he needs someone for a job, he needs a singer... See his little boy has these terrible nightmares since his mother died and well, he needs someone to come and sing to him at night, help him sleep.

🌿"The money'd be good I promise, don't sound like a real job I know but it'd pay like a real job... Better than a real job..."

🌿And how can you refuse when a man tells you his motherless little one isn't sleeping. So you don't even think about the money, completely taken in by Tommys little white lime. Because its Tommy who needs singing to, Tommy who's getting those horrid nightmares...

🌿You start visiting every couple of days, in the evenings for an hour or two, singing littlw Charlie to sleep whilst his father sits over his crib, stroking his hair. You realise that this must be a side to him Tommy doesnt let anyone else see. You start to see him as someone with vulnerabilities, with a tender side, capable of love. Something you've always been told Thomas Shelby is incapable of.

🌿And as time passes you start to realise that it isn't Charlie who struggles to sleep, that its Tommy. And so as time passes you start staying later, pretending you cant tell Charlie's settled, singing until Tommy has fallen asleep too. Sometimes you're there all night singing and then falling asleep ib your chair at the end of Charlies bed, because its too late to walk home alone.

🌿Things between you and Tommy took a long time to blossom but by the time they did you already felt like you knew him so well.

🌿Tommy is the one who brings your confidence out, always telling you how beautiful your voice is, how lovely it is to hear you sing. How you should be singing for people all the time. Before Tommy you didn't really sing for other people but now he's built you up to a place where you're not affraid to sing for others. In fact you often enjoy it.

🌿The night he kissed you for the first time it was late, Charlie had drifted to sleep and you were doing your usual, pretending not to have noticed, keeping up your singing until Tommy drifted off too.

🌿But Tommy had been watching you, tormented by these increasingly affectionate thoughts he'd been having whenever you were around. And he decided to do something that night.

🌿"y/n love, c'mere," he said, he looked sleepy and you were tired too, "Cmon come here, Charlies asleep and you look so lovely tonight, let me dance with you?"

🌿You were shocked but you were secretly thrilled because over the weeks you'd been visiting little Charlie you'd found yourself growing increasingly soft on Tommy. Perhaps it was that tender side you'd been seeing, that no one else saw, but he made you feel all kinds of happy whenever he was around. Everything felt sweeter, warmer, better.

🌿And although you were still shy when his serious eyes fixed on you and you felt him studying you, you had to admit that it thrilled you to be the center of his attention. And lately youd been wondering how it would feel to be held by him. To have him stroke your hair from your face. To have him look at you with that intensity, but from close up instead of from the otherside of the room.

🌿So you did as he asked and you crossed the bedroom floor to him. You gave him your hands and he held your fingers delicately. And when he stood up his hands moved to your waist, smoothing down the fabric of your dress gently, holding your hips.

🌿You didn't know what to do with your hands so he placed them for you, one on his shoulder, one palm flat against his chest.

🌿"Now," he said, "we need music..." he gave you a teasing, knowing smirk, "sing me something sweet angel, somet as sweet as you eh?"

🌿The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife but it was good tension. The atmosphere close and warm, the two of you gentle and sleepy and soft with one another. You felt so shy you has to close your eyes when you began to sing your favourite slow song, one which was really an old scottish lullaby but which could be danced to slowly too.

🌿"Good girl," Tommy lets out a little sigh, kissing your forehead, beginning to dance you slowly, rocking you. When his lips brush your cheek you open your eyes, look up at him like a doe in the headlights. You've thought about what it would be like to be kissed by him too but this is nothing like anything you could have ever imagined.

🌿Him telling you your songs beautiful as he leans in to kiss you on the lips, your mouths meeting and the two of you suddenly realising that this was something you should have done much much sooner.

🌿And when the kiss deepened and the two of you felt the moment heating up, the swell of need for him, and his for you, almost catching you both by surprise, he lifted you up off your feet and carried you to his bedroom.

🌿Now naturally, you'd stopped singing, your mouth a little occupied... However as he dips to kiss your neck, your collar bones and your chest, as he begins to undress you carefully, delicately, he asks you not to stop singing.

🌿"Keep singing angel," he murmurs to you between kisses, and he keeps repeating himself, even when youre undressing him, even when hes lifted you up off your feet and your legs are wrapped around him. Even as he slips into your for the first time, taking it slow and gentle, yoir voice shaking, your melody interrupted by your breath catching in your throat as he pushed into you slowly...

🌿He'll sing to you too sometimes and he has a far lovelier voice than you imagined he would. His voice is low and just a little rusty/misty sounding. It has that sweet woody tone to it. He'll sing to you when you're sad or scared.

Alfie

🐻 Alfie didn't know you could sing for a long time. It was something which, he'd always imagined you probably could do, because your low voice was always so sweet and resonant even when you spoke, but when he overhears you singing he has to say, he's surprised.

🐻And it niggles at him too, he's almost a little annoyed you've never sang to him, you don't even sing around him, not even in the evenings when he's got the wireless on.

🐻 He probably gets a bit grumpy about it as if he thinks youve been keeping your beautiful singing a secret from him on purpose.

🐻 But in reality you're just shy, and you don't think you do have a beautiful singing voice. You definitely don't think its beautiful enough to warrant singing for other people as if you believe yourself to be something special...

🐻 But Alfie stands just the otherside of the kitchen doorway listening to you sing as you kneed your bread dough. Thinks your voice is the most enchanting sound he's ever heard and he loves it.

🐻 Pretends not to like it, just to tease you, he comes into the kitchen behind you, grumbling and chuntering away. "Now whats all this racket then, whats all this... This noise bloody awful noise right keepin me awake..." but he can't keep his trick up for very long at all, not when you look mortified, wide eyes and imediately apologising over and over.

🐻He has to laugh, he can't believe you believe him for a start. But he feels guilty for teasing you and immediately opens his arms up to you, hugs you and kisses your cheek.

🐻"I'm only teasing zieskiet, obviously I'm only teasing you... As a matter of fact yeah, your little song you were singing just now, well, as a matter of fact my dear that was the most beautiful little song my fussy old ears, have ever been fuckin blessed to hear..."

🐻 Alfie thinks your voice is so inspiring, and he's a lover of music himself, a lover of the arts, he always tells you you should be singing on stages, in operas, for an audience with the knowledge, the cultured palette to appreciate you.

🐻You're his muse when he starts writing his opera, in fact your voice alone is half the reason he has for trying to write it in the first place. He wants to write an opera fittinf of youe glorious voice. But whenever he asks you to sing for him, whenever he asks you to inspire him, you just get shy and you try to hide away.

🐻And you always tease him to, reminding him, "I thought my singing was just a bloody great racket..." you'll refuse to sing for him just to watch him get grumpy and grumbly and then you'll giggle and sing for him running your fingers through his hair or his beards.

🐻 And you'll sing little love songs, tell him you wrote them for him and he'll get a little embarassed. "Don't know what you're wasting your time writing songs about me for zieskiet... Just an old man..." "My old man..."

🐻 He writes arias for you to sing and tries to get you to sing for other people but you won't do it. Your voice is something you trust only Alfie with, and he grows comfortable with that, begins to feel like he wouldn't want it any other way. Your voice is this precious secret that you share, something so precious you'll only give it to him.

🐻 Calls for you to come sit in his lap when its late and hes just come home from the office or that late night business that always sees him come home with blood on his hands. He sits himself down at the kitchen table or in his big armchair by the fire and he calls for you to come to him.

🐻 "Zieskiet my precious angel come sit down with your old man, it's been a fuckin godless day and he's tired..." and you go to him, let him pull you down into his lap, let him bundle you up in his arms, kiss you and growl into your neck. Running his hands over your waist, squeezing you possesively.

🐻 Holds your face in his hands and looks up at you, into your eyes with his own, which are so cold and steely for everyone but you. For you theyre molten, soft and dark and full of adoration.

🐻 "Sing me a song zieskiet, one with a sad little story right? One where the hero dies somet tragic yeah... Will you do that for your old man yeah, sing him a nice fuckin tragedy?"

🐻 Because he's a strange eccentric he will absolutely send Ollie or someone running half way across the city to find you having been told its an emergency, a serious fuckin emergency.

🐻 And when you get to the office Alfies just frowning, "Ah zieskiet, poppet thank the heavens you are here... Finally..." "What is it Alf, whats the matter?" "Ive tuned in and out of this bloody wireless yeah, and I've searched this whole bloody box of records yeah, ain't any fuckin music anywhere to be found..."

🐻 He really scared you half to death, had you running across the city with Ollie, just so you could sing him his favourite song.

Arthur

🍂 You've never really thought of yourself as particularly musically gifted and you don't really think your voice is anything special, however you love to sing and sing all the time. You adore music, you use it for emotional regulation, you hate to sit in silence. You hum when youre nervous, when you're happy, when you're sad you listen to sad songs and you sing along and pretend that your pain is just as bad as the pain of the man singing about his dead love.

🍂 And its something Arthurs always loved about you. How you're always singing, how you brighten a room with your good mood and your happy humming. How when things get tense and the kids need soothing and distracting, you're there to sooth them with a little song.

🍂 You teach Johns kids and Charlie and Ruby little songs, nursery rhymes, or songs to learn the alphabet and how to count. Songs to learn the days and the months. Arthur loves how you have a song for everything.

🍂 Its just something that makes you so different from everyone else in his life. You're so sweet and goodhearted and you're never too serious and your singing puts him at ease. He loves to listen to you and it always leaves him feeling warm and good inside when you sing.

🍂 When hes stressed out he'll ask you to sing for him and thats the only time you ever feel self concious, when he asks you to sing just for him and you can tell that hes depending on you for something. Then you question whether you're really good enough at singing... Because you know he'll actually be listening and expecting to hear something beautiful.

🍂 He likes to share a bath with you, share some wine, share some snow and then have you sing whilst you massage his shoulders. Loves when you wash his hair and sing for him, when you sing soft and low and sweetly in his ear, just for him. It makes him feel so safe and pure.

🍂 You sing to him to calm him when he's struggling to come down from one of those raging adrenaline rushes triggered by his PTSD. When hes having flashbacks you sing to him and hold his hand, kiss his temple. It helps to keep him grounded, helps him to stay on this plain in this reality instead of getting lost in a bad memory.

🍂You sing to him when youre cleaning his wounds, when youre washing other men's blood from his hands, scrubbing his nails and singing soothing little songs to calm him, to let him know you still love him, still think he deserves to be sung to. To be treated like a human.

🍂 He has favourite songs he'll ask for. And sometimes if youre singing and he doesn't feel like the kids are grateful enough that you sing to them he'll tell them to hush up and listen to you, "Dont know how lucky you are gettin to hear your aunty y/n sing for you like that, other kids would kill to have someone so beautiful singin to them!"

🍂Actually can get grumpy if he doesn't think other people appreciate your singing enough.

John

🌼 Is such a git and teases you relentless about your singing because you sing to yourself all the time.

🌼 "eh up that crazy lass from Watery Lanes singin to herself again, what a looney..." he's only joking but he doesn't know when a jokes stopped being funny, or that hes taking the joke too far.

🌼 Doesn't realise you think he's being serious or at least means it a little bit when he says its embarassing the way you wander round singing to yourself all the time, "whole of Birminghams gonna think you're losing the plot flower, gonna think you've gone nuts..."

🌼 So after awhile his jokes get to you and you take his thoughtless teasing to heart. You stop singing, or you try anyway. Its an old habbit and it dies hard and slow, so slow that John doesn't notice how you're singing less and less, or how sometimes you'll be singing to yourself but you'll stop just as he walks into a room.

🌼 Basically he's oblivious to the damage hes done until its too late and you really have stopped singing completely. Now you don't even really sing to yourself and its his fault...

🌼 Then one day he realises how quiet it is, how quiet you are and he gets upset, suddenly really worried for you.

🌼 "Y/N lass whats going on eh? You're upset or somets happened? Am not stupid I can tell..." but he is stupid, hes a stupid fuckin dinlow because even now he doesnt realise whats really the matter. When you tell him nothing is wrong, that everythings fine he argues back and says

🌼 "No, nah somethings not right flower, you don't sing anymore or anything, you're so quiet..."

🌼 You look at him, a little bit confused, a little bit wounded. "Thought you didn't like my singin...why do you care if I don't sing anymore?" you sound more sullen than you think you do and suddenly John knows exactly why you've stopped singing and he feels like such a fucking idiot.

🌼 "Oh bloody hell," he sighs, getting annoyed with himself for being an idiot. "Fuck sake, I'm sorry love..."

🌼 Tells you that he loves your singing and always has, that its one of his favourite things about you and thats the whole reason he used to tease you for it. Because he loves it so much he just thought that it was obvious he was only teasing.

🌼 So then he has to chip away at you the other direction, teasing you until you're singing for him again. Because obviously John isnt going to learn the error of his daft, boyish ways.

🌼 And finally you relent and give in and sing a little love song for him which has you both blushing.

🌼 His favourite thing which he used to love watching was how you'd gather all the wains up in your bed with you at night and if a story wasn't working to send them all off to sleep, you'd sing lullabyes for them.

🌼 He liked climbing into bed with you and the children and getting cosy, one big happy family, all huggled up together whilst you sang for them.

🌼 When one of the wains starts singing and copying you, singing with you sometimes John is overwhelmed with pride and he loves it. Loves you for teaching his littlens something he could never have taught them himself.

🌼Will get jealous if its been a long day and all he wants is to spend a little alone time with his girl, but he can't get anywhere near you because the kids want you to sing for them. He'll end up packing them all off to bed with the promise of one last song and then when finally its just you and him he'll tease you, singing your song back to you, making fun until youre giggling and blushing and actually getting quite wound up by him.

🌼 Then hes all kisses and grabbing you, pulling you close, singing and kissing you all over until youre laughing too much to fight him anymore.

Bonnie

🍀Has always loved to listen to music, ever since he was a little boy. And because you grew up together travelling around, hes always known you could sing. Always loved listening to you sing.

🍀Once when you were a little girl one of the older lads teased you about your singing voice telling you to shut up, telling you it wasnt cool to sing, it was cool to know how to hunt and do manly things. And little Bonnie threw a rock at him, "You shut up dinlow!"

🍀He didn't win that fight and in fact he got into a fair bit of bother for throwing that rock at one of the Boswell boys. A lot of trouble actually, more than it was worth as far as youre concerned.

🍀You didn't stop singing, you were a smart girl and you knew that most of the time the boys that said mean things to you were only doing it because they were daft and didn't know how to speak to girls. Had to be mean because they were scared of pretty lassies.

🍀Thats what Bonnie always told you anyway.

🍀Now you're much older and Bonnie is your boy, your champion, and you still sing all the time. You sing to the wains when you're helping to look after them. You sing when you're doing your chores, doing the washing in the stream, preparing the meat when the lads come back from hunting.

🍀You often sing around the fire in the evening when the men get their instruments out and some of the others dance with their wives and children. You'll sing at funerals too, when everyone needs a sad song to fill the silence whilst you watch the flames burning and the remember those who have passed.

🍀Sometimes Bonnie watches you with the youngens, when youre singing your lullabies to the babies, rocking them to sleep... He can't help but imagine you singing to his babies one day. Sometimes watching you singing with the children gets him in the mind that he wants to give you children sooner rather than later.

🍀Has definitely told you this too, he isn't shy about it. Will kiss your cheek and your neck, nibble your ear and then say something about how he's gonna have you singing lullabies to babies of your own in no time at all.

🍀He's a superstitious lad, has his pre fight routines... And the most important is that you come to his changing room, that just you and him get at least a minute or two alone for you to sing his lucky song to him whilst you wrap his hands up. He'll close his eyes and focus on your voice, how pure and pretty it is, he'll slow his breathing, get himself in the zone and then he'll kiss your cheek, give you one of his cheeky over confident winks, and off he goes to fight like a champion yet again.

🍀Teases you, says one day you'll be singing folk songs about bonnie Bonnie Gold champion of the world.

🍀 Fond of a post fuck lullaby, loves to hold you in his arms and listen to one of your sweet little songs. Loves to feel the vibration of your voice in his chest when you're resting on top of him.

🍀 He thinks of your singing when hes scared. He doesnt really get scared so easily, he enjoys most of the work he does for the blinders, doesn't really mind the killing, he's always been very laidback about those sorts of things, always been very calm. But sometimes when he's in a dangerous situation and he's realising quite how dangerous what he's doing is, when he realises he might not get out of a place alive, he remembers one of your songs, pictures you singing in a field or by the fire or with the wains, or how sometimes you sing just for him in the middle of the night, and the thought calms him.

🍀When he's injured after a fight, or after a blinder job that went wrong, and he can see that you're scared by the sorry state of him, he'll force you an easy smile and ask you to sing for him. Partly because he knows it'll give you something to focus on instead of powerlessly worrying, and partly because he'll take any excuse to hear that gorgeous voice of yours. "Pretty as bird song in the morning dove, thats how your singin sounds...."

🍀 Bonnie can definitely sing and he definitely sings for you, little lullabys and sad ancient folk songs with mysterious stories threaded into them. He'll lie with you under a tree at the edge of misty moorlands and sing to you a little irish lament about a girl who went wandering into the mist to find her lover never to return again. He'll tell you she haunts the moores and then he'll tease you when he scares you with his little ghost songs.

Isaiah

🐀You're the life of a party when you sing down the Garrison and Isaiah is always glad to be able to see you dancing and singing spreading joy, stirring high spirits.

🐀He's also pretty pleased because it was him who told the Shelbys to hire you as a barmaid, told them you were a wonderful singer and that you'd have the place buzzing and busy all night.

🐀And its true, you have the power to pick exactly the right song and get every man up to the bar or dancing with his lass or remembering times gone by. You're a real crowd pleaser thats for sure and Isaiah is very proud to have found you. Always tells Tommy "you owe me for that Tommy, my girls the main reason this place stays open..."

🐀But Isaiah has a jealous streak and he doesn't like watching the way the other men at the Garrison admire you. Hates to see other men falling in love with his lass, falling for your voice and the pretty songs you sing, the bright light which seems to radiate from you when you smile through the notes of a happy song.

🐀So he spends half the night planning how he'll get you alone, soothing his jealousy with thoughts of what he'll do when he finally gets you alone and he can tease you and touch you, kiss you all he likes without feeling jealous eyes on him.

🐀Taking you into the private booth and locking the little door so that its just you and him and you can't be disturbed. You getting flustered because he's just stolen you from the floor and you're supposed to be working.

🐀"Saiah whatre you doing, theres pints to pull! You'll get me in trouble..." "Nah love, ain't gettin in any trouble if you're with me, am a blinder aren't I..." winking at you being cheeky, teasing you and pulling you into his lap, holding you there one hand on your hip, one holding your chin and stearing you to loom at him.

🐀"Sing me a song love, one thats just for me..." he says giving you a needy little stare, his eyes fixed on yours, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. He enjoys seeing you blush, seeing you get a little shy. That shy smile so beautiful. "Sing us a song thats just for me and promise you'll never sing it for anyone else yeah.."

🐀So you do, and you promise you'll never sing it for anyone else, so it becomes your song. When you get married its the song you share your first dance to.

🐀At home, and only when no one else is with you he'll join in your songs and dance you around the kitchen or the bedroom, only interrupting your melody when he can't keep his lips from your lips any longer.

🐀You can tell his jealousy and how possesive he is over you and you love it, and you want him to know that you love it and you love him, so you write him little love songs and laments and you sing them for him in that private booth at the Garrison or in bed when the house is quiet and the streets outside are hushed by the late late night sky.

🐀He LOVES your little love songs and he can't even begin to express the effect they have on him. Hearing the words you wrote for him, hearing a whole song inspired by him... Its incredible and it stokes his ego but it also makes him feel so loved...

🐀Theres also probably something precious to Isaiah about the fact that you admire him and think hes good enough to be the subject of a song because obviously racism is aggressively prevalent in 1920s birmingham and he spends a lot of time very aware that if it wasnt for his peaky cap and even despite his peaky cap, there are many who would think him unworthy even of acknowledgement. So the fact that the love of his life is writing pretty little songs about how much they adore him, how handsome he is, how he makes their whole world turn... Well, he feels very proud and very honored and touched and he never quite knows how to express it.

🐀Tries to write you one too but it ends up being a silly little ditty that ends with something dirty that makes you blush and laugh and climb straight into bed with him.

Michael

☘️ There are many parts of himself Michael keeps secret. All the things he thinks people might think him a "soft lad" for.

☘️ One of these is that he can sing beautifully. His adopted mother used to play piano and have him and his brother sing hymns from church.

☘️His mother knows he can sing too, she makes him sing for her when she's worried, when the voices of the dead are too loud or painful to listen to. When shes unwell and suffering. Michael will sing for her but he'll be sullen and embarassed and he'll berrate her for even asking it of him.

☘️ The other hidden secret is that he loves to be sung to sleep. He loves to lie with you, him between your legs, your thighs wrapped around his waist, his head resting on your belly as you comb your fingers through his hair and sing him a soft soothing melody.

☘️Probably because he has mummy issues. He loves to be spoiled and taken care of like that, to be treated gently.

☘️After the Changretta hit on him, when he's in the hospital, you visit him every day, you're so worried about him but he's got glad to have his "little songbird" with him to sing for him and keep him from killing himself from the boredom of being cooped up like that.

☘️He asks you to sing songs for him whilst you change his bandages and wash his wounds. He likes the distraction from the pain and he tells you you have a healing voice. Tells you its a gift, that you were a gift sent to him from some higher power.

☘️If you want to sing professionally, which michael will definitely encourage, he will pull the strings to get you singing in tge fanciest hotels, to have you climb the ladder to stardom. Partially because he wants to see you happy and will do anything to keep you happy, but also partially because it feeds his ego and makes him feel powerful to have a famous girlfriend, one who is admired by so many for her beautiful voice. You're a real star, shining bright, and you're all his. No one elses.

☘️He keeps his own talent hidden from you for a long long time because he's worried you'll think him less of a man, worried you'll think he's soft. But one day, the day your father dies, you're so distraught, exhausted from all your grief, and michael wants to help you so he holds you in his arms and strokes your hair, rocks you gently and sings you to sleep.

☘️He doesnt think youll remember, thinks you'll have forgotten it because you were in such a state, but you remember how beautifully he sang and when you ask him about it he gets so self concious and blushes and tries to deny it.

☘️ "Must have been imagining it sweetheart I can't sing..."

☘️You beg him to sing to him again, and again and again...

☘️And finally he gives in, says that if you'll sing him a song he will join in. And you sound really lovely together and you can't keep the smiles off your faces.

☘️When you have children michael sings them these lowly lullabies and you love to fall asleep holding the baby in your arms, the both of you lulled to sleep by daddy.

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT ; you ride a bike

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language

I love passenger princessing my mom on her trike so here's this

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's absolutely mortified to get on the back with you at first

you convince him to just ride him around the neighborhood nice and slow and he over time gets used to it because you suggest going short distances on it rather than taking a bus and stuff

he grows on it though

his helmet has some stickers on it, one literally says tommyinnit.store in bold font 💀💀💀

either holds on the sidebars thatre there for him to hold or around your waist

he finds the wind against him therapeutic

the butterflies when you turn around and ask if he's okay, especially when it's dark and cold

constantly snapping jack, freddie & tubbo pictures of him on your bike/riding around with you/where you go

posts a lot of pictures on his Instagram

most of them are you & the scenery

"do you wanna learn how to drive a bike?"

"no???"

he unironically loves shouting at shit drivers who cut you off or try to get you killed

"WATCH IT ASSHOLE! YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED, USE A BLINKER NEXT TIME!"

loves going over bridges

if he has somewhere to be after a ride, he'll gladly show up with his hair a mess and ass hurting since you need to put a few more pounds of air in his seat LMAO

"okay, so-"

"Tommy, why are you limping?"

RANBOO

he's 50/50 on being scared and wanting to get on with you

they man up and just do it after lots of reassuring

so many pictures lmao

litters his helmet with stickers and white marker doodles

has a sticker of the boober particle + one that just says ranboo.fashion in comic sans

he finds the air against him very therapeutic

loves going down backroads and finding new restaurants

always taking pictures, mostly of you

loves wearing his R800 jacket cause it keeps him warm + free promo

makes "I'll jump off rn" jokes

likes spreading his arms out like an eagle and will yell over the engine LMAO

loves bumps even though they'll hurt immediately after

FREDDIE BADLINU

you ask if he wants to come and he shrugs with a yeah

his first ride was at night so he got to enjoy all the lights and night life

takes a bunch of pictures and videos and sends them to Bill or Tommy

changes his insta bio to "my biker partners passenger prince" + bonus points if that's how he softlaunches your relationship

convinces you to go through a drive thru

eating lunch in the sun was a 10/10, will do it again

takes some cute pictures at stops/lights where he's leaning onto you a bit and he holds the phone in front of you to get both of you

wears dumbass hoodies/jackets w the dumb shit on the back to make ppl look at him weird or smile a bit

he'll show up to Tommy's live show (part of the bit) with messy hair and come on stage and tommy will look at him confused

Freddie asks him what's wrong and tommy just points and circles around his hair and the crowd laughs

"I was with my partner"

cue the laughing

"wait what?" Tommy laughs

"we were riding around the city before we got here, sorry"

NIKI NIHACHU

she thinks it's so cool, trust me

but like Tommy, she's very nervous to get on at first

you take her for a little ride around a parking lot and she's like "Okay I liked that let's actually go now"

her helmet has all sorts of stickers on it, but they're placed to look cool

there's a snake hide looking one down the middle and some cool patterned ones on the sides

she loves the wind in her hair and the feeling of being free

loves taking pictures of the scenery and even using you as a model

loves posting those pictures online for her fans to see

her editor fans always edit the pictures you two take together when you're out and about and whatnot it's so cool

you custom made her a leather jacket that fit her aesthetic

and she's super attached to it

she'll change her insta bio to "that one biker chicks girlfriend" LMAO

she spoils you like you're the one with the large social media platform its adorable

ALEX QUACKITY

"SINCE WHEN THE HELL DID YOU RIDE A BIKE???"

he thinks it's really badass tho

he'll gladly jump on with you

he's honestly scared after getting on but loses the fear pretty quickly

lovesss holding his arms out like a bird it's so fun to him

constantly asking you to tighten his helmet LMFAO

he finds it really entertaining in general

although if he's not wearing a full face covering helmet and wearing one of the head covering ones, you'll have to listen to his wailing later

his hair isn't long enough to completely pull back and the wind obviously tangles it up bad

so you gotta sit him down and try and carefully like de-matte his hair

he loves taking pictures and posting them tho, especially ones of you LMAO

sometimes he'll go the extra mile to give it a corny caption too

you change his insta bio to "passenger prince of the year"

always feels a little special and giggly when you ask if he's okay, especially when it's getting darker and much colder

"I told you to just wear the-"

"I know! please just do it for me! it hurts!"

"either grow your hair out or wear the other, lex"

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 1

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, light angst, cursing, no use of y/n, no description of reader (see note below), smallish age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000) (small for this fandom, anyway) (the smut comes later, y'all, we're just getting started here) a/n: Well, here we go! This is part 1. This fic is completely finished. It’s a 5+1 and for some of the 5 parts I’ll post them together (on Sundays) and for some I’ll post them separately (on Sundays and Wednesdays) just due to length. Obviously I'm posting this one early (lol). I’ll tell you whatever the schedule is for the different parts. I've paid a lot of attention to the reader's description in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. word count: 1724 (for this part) series main post & chapter list | series playlist (w/ plot-related mix) ao3 | chapter 2

Chapter 1: Meet Cute

Jackson, Early Winter, 2023

You’ve been heading northwest from somewhere in Kansas, thinking you’ve never bothered going out this way, even Before, so why not? It’s been months since you saw another person. You’re not even sure the last time you spoke out loud. 

You blame the lengthy isolation for how easily they get the jump on you. 

It's just after dawn when you're rudely awakened - at first, you’re not sure why, but a second kick to your hip sends you scrambling to sit up in your sleeping bag, which is tangled around your legs. Looking around as you struggle, you realize you’re surrounded by people on foot and on horseback. Every single one of them is pointing a gun at you. You glance to the side and realize your backpack along with anything possibly useful inside of it has been kicked away from you. The woman who kicked you has a steely look in her eye that reminds you, in your half awake state, of the last boss you had Before. 

“State your business.” As she speaks you notice the two men closest to her start to fan out a bit, but you don’t dare look away from her.

“I’m just passing through, I’ve been looking for a good place to spend the winter.”

Or, that’s what you would have said, if not for the voice from your past shouting your name in shock just as you open your mouth. “No goddamn way, is that really you?”

You think you must be hallucinating, because everyone you knew Before is dead, but then Tommy fucking Miller pushes his way in front of the woman who spoke. For a moment you can’t do more than stare at each other — him with his gun hanging limply in his right hand, you with your legs still tangled in your godforsaken sleeping bag. Then you launch into motion and start to kick it away as you find your voice. It comes out shaky. Or maybe you’re shaking all over.

“Tommy? But — you’re alive? Where the hell have you been? Wait, are Joel and—“

Tommy cuts you off as he pulls you to your feet and into a tight hug. “Holy shit, we thought you were dead. Holy fucking shit.”

“We? Tommy wait, are they—“

Tommy pulls back, keeping hold of your shoulders as he looks you in the eye. He’s grinning, his eyes wandering all over your face. “He’s alive, sunshine. Or he was when he came through here about a month ago. We’re expecting them back in the spring.”

You can feel your heart racing and your whole body feels hot and tingly. You’re overwhelmed. You didn’t think you could still feel hope like this. It’s terrifying, but you have to know. “He’s- Them? They’re both alive? Sarah?”

You know the answer before he even says anything. Tommy’s face falls, his eyes drop from yours, and you feel it like a sucker punch, as bad as it was the first time around. Your knees give out even though this is what you’ve known, or tried to convince yourself must be true, for 20 years. Tommy falls gently with you to the ground.

Your baby girl. “Oh god, Sarah. And Joel, he must have been—“

“Yeah, sunshine. He thought he lost you both. It wasn’t… well. It wasn’t good.” 

You’re starting to feel numb. You have no idea what your face is doing right now, but judging by Tommy’s, it isn’t pretty. 10 minutes ago you were alone in the apocalypse, and suddenly you’re face-to-face with your almost-brother-in-law and you know, without a doubt, that your fiancé hasn’t been dead this whole time. Is this shock? It’s been 20 years since you felt a shock like this. Since you felt anything like this. 

“Tommy, I… I need to sit down.”

“Well, you are sitting down, sunshine. But get up, gather your stuff. You can come to town with us. Stay as long as you’d like.” You nod, unsteady, and Tommy guides you carefully towards what must be his horse. 

The day passes in a daze. You think you might actually be hallucinating, or still back in your sleeping bag, dreaming, because a whole, functional town? A commune, and a house they’re just going to let you have as your own? A real community? With your only remaining family, miraculously alive? It’s impossible. You float through the rest of the day and find yourself sitting on a bed in a house with indoor plumbing that somehow belongs to you, having just eaten real food in the company of the family you thought you lost 20 years ago.

You give up and go to sleep. (What else are you going to do?)

...

As you settle into life in Jackson, the knowledge that you might see Joel — your Joel, any day now — never leaves your thoughts. It’s like a drum beat at the back of your mind that only repeats his name, marking time every hour of every day. You don’t know how you’ll prepare yourself for it. How could you? You haven’t seen him in 20 years. Anything could be different. You can so easily picture him with a daughter, but it’s Sarah in your mind, not Ellie, who Tommy has told you a bit about. Every time you open those old wounds that you’ve done your best to bury it hurts like the first time. Would he still want you? Still know you? Do you still know him? Would Ellie like you? You can’t imagine not knowing Joel, or Joel not knowing you, but it’s been 20 years and people change. You’ve changed, after all. Some days you barely recognize yourself. 

You express these fears to Tommy once, but he only laughs and says his brother may be stupid but he’s not stupid enough not to want you. It’s reassuring and rude, so, exactly like Tommy. At least some things never change.

The day Joel Miller walks back into Jackson you happen to be standing on the road near the gates, talking to Tommy, and you swear he spots you in less than 5 seconds. It’s like you can’t help but look to each other first, even when you don’t know the other is alive, even when you haven’t seen each other in 20 years. You’d know the shape of him anywhere and your eyes have never stopped looking for it, never stopped catching on a set of shoulders, a cocked hip, a tilted head, only to be disappointed when it faded like a mirage. When the person in front of you didn’t fit the hole he left behind. It hurt every time. Maybe it’s been the same for him. 

Joel looks like he’s seen a ghost, and you have no idea what expression is on your face, but the moment you lock eyes all you see is the moment you first met, almost 24 years ago, like a film negative laid on top of what’s really in front of you. He’s older, of course, but so are you, and he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

He steps towards you and whispers your name like a prayer.

Joel fucking Miller. 

Austin, Summer 2000

It was a Saturday morning in late summer, so not yet the hottest part of the day, but not comfortable, either. Your belongings were steadily moving from the truck to your new rental house under your somewhat careful supervision when movement from the house next door caught your eye. You looked up just as one of the guys from the moving company almost dropped your nightstand off the back of the truck, distracting you from the sight of a young girl, maybe about 10, rocketing out of the house next door and down her front steps. She was wearing a bright green soccer uniform.

By the time your nightstand had been righted and you looked back towards your neighbors’ house, she’d made her way to the bushes between your driveways, standing on her tiptoes and taking in all of the commotion. She met your eye and grinned. You grinned back as she called, “Hi, new neighbor!” 

You walked over, stopping on the other side of the bush to introduce yourself. “Hi there, neighbor.” 

It didn’t seem possible, but she grinned even wider. “I’m Sarah, that’s my dad.”

You looked up, realizing there was a man coming down their steps towards the two of you — the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life. He was tall, with broad shoulders and the look of a man who spent a lot of time in the sun, tan lines peeking out of his shirt sleeves. His brown curls were a bit messy and his shoulders and strong arms drew your eye like a magnet. You caught yourself giving him a quick once over and felt your face start to warm, embarrassed, but when you met his eyes again you caught him doing the same to you. You realized you were both caught and you smiled, introducing yourself. 

“Nice to meet you, darlin’. Joel Miller, and I think you’ve met Sarah.” You felt your face turn hot at the endearment but you knew he probably didn’t mean anything by it. Southern hospitality and all. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

You’d opened your mouth to respond when you were rudely interrupted by a crashing noise from the moving truck behind you, and you whirled around to see a box on its side on the ground that definitely should not have been. You glanced back at your neighbors as you excused yourself. “It’s great to meet you! Sorry, I need to see what that was.”

They shooed you along before you could even finish your sentence, reassuring you that they understood. “Let me know if anything broke, darlin,’ I’m pretty handy, could probably fix it. It’d be my pleasure.” He smiled at you a bit, just on one side, edging towards a smirk, and you did your best not to stare at his mouth. “Deal,” you agreed, grinning. Both you and Joel seemed unable to draw your eyes away from each other. You were stuck, pinned in place under his gaze until Sarah tugged on his arm and dragged him towards their truck. “Dad, we’re gonna be late!”

The view from the back was just as nice as the front. 

...

a/n: ch 2 is up!

taglist: @morgaussy

[fandoms-in-law]

Ophelia's Son: What Will Grow?

Summary: The kids test what plants grow on Steve's head and a couple of old friends discover his new flowers.

Follows on from Ophelia's Son and Smoking

/\

“Here’s some sunflowers for my Sunflower.” Eddie called, letting himself and the kids that had bugged him for a lift into Steve’s house.

It took a moment for Steve to come to greet them, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “So they told you about wanting to test what grows?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes we did. And we’ve got plenty of other flowers and plants to try as well.” Max agreed, holding her arms out, full of plants and behind her the rest of the kids had them too, except for Dustin who held a notebook and was currently looking over Lucas’s offering of plants.

Steve looked over at them all, hands going to his hips and clearly judging them. “How big do you think my head is? Those are not all going to fit today.” He stated, eyes narrowing when Dustin flipped back a few pages, clearly ready to explain some plan he had, “Eddie’s sunflowers get first priority.”

“That doesn’t make sense! They’re huge! They should go last so we can get as many smaller plants tested as we like.” Dustin immediately argued.

“Eddie, please will you add as many sunflowers as you like?” Steve asked sweetly, turning away from the kids and kneeling so Eddie could add them more easily.

Eddie grinned at him, sticking his tongue out at the chorus of protests the action received. “Thanks Darling. I hope they do grow. They suit you more than daisies.”

“I hope so too.” Steve smiled, although he knew he was probably going to be kneeling or sat on the floor for the rest of the day as Dustin tried to insist on how the kids plants were added while the rest jostled together to ensure all of there are done.

Steve had already decided that no matter what grew he would be forcing Dustin and Max to weed his head later, after deciding which ones that grew could stay.

/\

“The hell is going on with your head, Harrington?” The call had Steve turning from where he’d been reshelving some videos.

Family Video had been mostly quiet that day so he hadn’t worried about going back to the counter after Robin had greeted the last person to come in, but now he saw Carol and Tommy staring at him in confusion. “I think flower crowns are fantastic, don’t you?” He said, certain it was something to do with the plants growing that shocked them.

Carol’s eyebrows shot up, “Sure, they can be cute, but that disaster of a combination? Daisies and sunflowers could work but dandelions? Mint? That looks like fucking parsley. You must have more sense of landscaping than to combine those. It looks like a disaster.” She reached to his hair and was pushing flowers around as she spoke. “Who insulted you by giving you this crown?”

Behind them he could hear Robin start laughing, and smirked back at them, “It was a bit of an experiment. We’re sorting out a better looking crown for next time.”

“Let’s help with that then.” Tommy decided, reaching past Carol to yank at some of the plants.

The action caused Steve’s hand to shoot up, straight past them, and he hummed, wondering if there was a flower that pulling would lead to him punching someone. “They took root. Best not to yank them out unless I want them gone. I said we’re planning a better looking one already.”

Carol blinked rapidly at him, while Tommy scoffed, “You’re that empty headed? I know you were too dumb for college but seriously? Your head is just good for hair and flowers?”

“None of that’s accurate, you know that?” Steve kept his tone mild, partly because it would annoy Tommy more, but mostly to appear as if he was trying to keep their interaction pleasant. “Also, I think you both need to wash your hands like right now.”

“Why?” Carol’s tone was derisive but curious too. “And I’ve only heard gossip of some Addams freaks or their cousins managing what you’re claiming those plants have done.”

Steve shrugged. “There’s some poisons growing in there. I know Dustin mentioned foxglove and belladonna so just to avoid poisoning yourselves when you eat it’s better to wash your hands soon.” He didn’t react to the comment about the Addams family. As curious as he might be over how she’d heard rumours about them he wasn’t in the mood to listen to the level of scorn they would likely be shared with.

Tommy froze, eyes narrowed at Steve’s head for a moment before turning, “Fuck you Harrington. You should have led with wearing poisons.” He called, not waiting to see if Carol followed him as he left.

“If you are somehow connected to the Addams’s, I want to know how their tea is made. It’s meant to be good for smooth skin.” She demanded.

“Haven’t asked, wouldn’t know. Go wash your hands.” Steve dismissed with a cold smile.

She did so with a huff, and Robin was soon to come over, ruffling his flowers. “That’s a lie, right? About the poisons.”

“Yes. El, Max and Dustin had brought them but I insisted on no handling of poisons without gloves and they hadn’t brought those. I think they’ve got plans for a second experiment including them though.” He sighed, frustrated at having his head further messed up by uglier plants. “At least the foxglove has decent flowers, I guess.”