#at first this was supposed to be funny screenshots of like weird positions and stuff like the extra but no its evolved into this

[sea-jello]

i know its a lot of screenshots listen i just like this scene okay peak boyf moment tbh

the one below is 7 im not labeling it cause i really like this shot

extra lol i paused it at the right time

[neolxzr]

Literally a genuine question no ill intent

What do you like about Aira? As much as people are absolutely adamant Akira is projecting (I really don't think he is (I'm not saying Akira is innocent) I just think he's trying to address the prejudiced thoughts the average Japanese person will have on the Ainu) Aira's weird comments and behaviour to Hiiro have been there since day one. And I also think Aira being the one who says all this is because he's supposed to reflect the fans and the average Japanese fan probably isn't that educated on the Ainu + there can be a good few racist enstars fans...

I'm not trying to sound heated about this I'm just coming from a genuine place, what appeal is there in Aira?

Also, as much as the Aira fans are talking about blaming Akira, I feel like there should absolutely be a focus on Hiiro right now considering that comment was... yknow said to him. I just think we should actually be talking about the Amagis considering that comment was intended to discuss the Amagis and their culture and the discrimination they go through.

i had someone ask me a similar question once but not in the context of all thats happening currently so you can read that here if youre inclined

buuuut what made me like aira so much in the first place was honestly that his concept as a character is really funny. i made a post a long while back that went into the funny meta jokes that you could make using aira as a character before i really knew much about enstars at all. having a character in your idol series that loves idols and canonically reads fanfic about them is just a funny concept in general. and as i continued to read more he continued to be funny and annoying and endearing (his little mini interaction with midori comes to mind immediately. there is something wrong with him)

also i tend to gravitate towards characters that give me like. little sibling energy. i love having a favorite little guy to dote on

but afterwards what really drew me to him was the main story!! thermometry specifically comes to mind (ouuugh,,,,). his feature scout stories are also great and so is feather touch! i wont like. go into detail really cause my blog is covered in me talking about aira already

his dynamic with hiiro is one of my favorites too, especially in mainstory. their dynamic isnt JUST aira says shitty things to hiiro and thats it. their relationship develops really far to the point where aira admits that he needs hiiro as much as hiiro needs him. they're young and inexperienced and kind of codependent as they're trying to keep themselves from going under in a sort of cutthroat industry. i think thats really neat. their relationship is really sweet to me and aira is a great tsundere type of character. he regularly is shown to actually like hiiro a lot as mean as he can be to him sometimes i.e. here. and you know the whole holding hands thing (which they also fucked up in the climax story but Whatever)

theres also this. which i think about regularly. the hiiai shipping fuel is vast

and additionally i think aira has some really great relationships with other characters too, alkaloid especially. feather touch develops his relationship with tatsumi a lot and its one of my favorite aira moments. i couldnt find my screenshots for this one but basically aira gives tatsumi his unlocked phone (something VERY important to aira since hes a little screenager) and it shows tatsumi just how much aira trusts him and he realizes how important aira is as a friend to him. being someone with a history like him aira's friendship is sort of new to him and it helps them both grow

he loves his friends so so much and he’s had a positive impact on all of alkaloid. he is its heart after all

but in any case i'm not going to like, defend myself for liking aira. i am aware that the shitty stuff has been there from the start but i've said something similar in the past that was like. aira isn't real and he cannot take accountability for what he says. he's a character written by real people who doesn't have any control over how he acts. so i guess that's why when i think the writers write something i dont think he would do or say in my own personal aira opinion i can sort of brush it off as just bad writing.

and not in the sense that i dont recognize that enstars sucks, because it does. enstars can be terribly racist sometimes and not just when concerning aira, and thats important to talk about (i.e. the orient cards, the king of thieves cards, etc). but at the end of the day the most important thing to recognize is the people and company behind the game as well as the real people who play the game and are affected by it. and not like, the specific characters in the game. cause they didn't actually do anything or feel anything you know

[littoraly-art]

😌 💕 i feel so loved, thank youu

and might I say, you have a Very Big Brain

also 👉👈 Im sorry for the weird ask format bc uh somehow I deleted the original draft but was able to screenshot the ask bc.. long story, ANYWAYS

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A/N: this will be slightly divergent from my previous baby!Lamb fics. (But only because I briefly mentioned Geralt in my last one)

A/N 2.0: im gonna start doing page breaks for my fics bc it'll be easier organization

• General

• Fluff

• Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt

• Wolf Pup Shenanigans

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The first inkling of Eskel's suspicions started with when he set about making Lambert's new poppet.

He was seated on the low wall–the one that bordered the vegetable garden–and were basking in the warmth of the sun that gently tickled their skin. They'd been given an afternoon of free play and Lambert, for one, liked watching for birds so that he could scare them off with lots of yelling, accompanied by the brandishing of a stick. He said it was much more fun than dealing with the other students and definitely much more fun than sitting in the library with Vesemir.

Eskel couldn't blame him.

The older boy was balanced on the wall with his legs tucked into a neat criss-crossed position so that all of his materials could sit in his lap as he worked. He really didn't mind accompanying Lambert out there because he could sew just as well out there as he could anywhere else. Plus, it was fun to listen to the other wolf chatter on about his day.

Said redhead was walking himself along the wall, balancing and doing little pirouettes every so often. And, every so often, Eskel would pipe up, "wrong," causing Lambert to freeze before righting his footing. Oh, and sticking his tongue out at the older boy.

"Can you give the poppet hair?"

Eskel lifted his eyes to watch as Lambert spun yet again before the other boy jumped down and snatched up his stick from where it was laying on the ground.

"Hair? Like.."

"Like the ones in the shops down in Ard Carraigh," Lambert chirped in response, remembering back to the city he'd only ever been through once. He flashed a grin at Eskel as he climbed back up onto the low wall, now with mock sword in hand.

"You know you're not supposed to practice your drills alone."

There was a dramatic sigh and a roll of Lambert's eyes as he began smacking, along the wall with his stick, instead. "So.. Can you give it hair?"

"I.. sure?" Eskel tipped his head to the side in brief consideration and then dropped his eyes back to the item in his hands, returning to his sewing. Watching as the needle swam in and out of the soft linen fabric. Pricking his finger every so often as his tongue lightly poked out between his teeth. "..What color? Red, like yours?" Not that he knew where he'd find that color. They didn't have any dyed yarn that he was allowed to use, that he knew of.

"No. White."

Eskel paused as he lifted his eyes back to watch his friend as the younger boy was now trying to whack the stick against the heavy bough of the half dead tree that stood, gnarled, on the other side of the wall.

"White?"

"Yeah, I want it to be white."

Eskel regarded the other curiously with a tiny little smile before looking back down at his project, yet again. "I don't think we have any white yarn. How about grey or brown?"

Lambert halted in thought, holding his stick above his head with both hands. It only took a moment's consideration before he nodded lightly. "Grey works."

- -

The second instance, that Eskel stumbled upon, seemed to only confirm his suspicions.

Lambert was perched on a rickety bench that sat to the side of the training yard and he was watching raptly as one of older mentors was running Eskel's peer group through a drill that incorporated Aard. Eskel was stood off to the side to observe since he was the most adept at Signs than the rest of his peers. This allowed him to help call out mistakes, when need. And, at the moment, it allowed him the opportunity to look over and see that Lambert was zoned in on one student in particular.

Geralt.

The white haired boy was a mischievous, headstrong thing who had quite the aptitude for the graceful maneuvers of the Wolf School. His chin length, slightly curly hair was held back with a simple brown headband and the item effectively kept his hair out of his face as he twisted about in the drilled sequence.

Lambert had his knees tucked against his chest, arms wrapped 'round them and his chin settled softly on top as he studied the scene in front of him. His wide eyes followed every single movement as he murmured the names of each maneuver, under his breath.

As Eskel was called back into the group, he made a mental note to give the poppet a headband along with the white hair, and he grinned to himself.

Leave it to Geralt to inspire such dazzled eyes and intent focus.

-

Lambert had really come down to the training yard so that he could grab Eskel once he was done for the day. He had a whole list of things he wanted to do before dinner and he absolutely needed Eskel to join him in his plans. It wasn't fun to get up to trouble alone, after all.

He however realized that, as he sat to wait for Eskel, he could just as happily take that time to watch Geralt.

Geralt was the best.

He was strong and fast and funny and stubborn and so very sure of himself and goodness! Just everything that Lambert could ever dream of being.

But, he had never interacted with him before. Oh, no, no. Lambert couldn't risk that. What if Geralt thought he was dumb like the other boys did? What if he thought it was weird that Lambert looked up to him as a role model? He could not risk that.

He wouldn't know what to do if that happened.

So, there he sat, for the entire session. He sat, quiet and respectful, not interrupting so that he wouldn't be asked to leave. (Which definitely had never ever happened before..)

At the end, when all the equipment was being packed up and put away, Lambert jumped up from his spot and began making his way across the yard. He clasped his hands behind him and took steps that had a subtle little skip to them, running over his list of plans in his head.

That was when he froze, though. He watched, while holding his breath, as Geralt slung his arm around Eskel's neck and the two older boys laughed together about.. well, something. Lambert's eyes were as wide as could be and he brought his hands in front of himself to fidget as he took a couple steps back.

Oh.

The conversation between the two continued on before Eskel spotted Lambert, giving him an easy grin. He then, to Lambert's horror, began to guide Geralt over, arm around his friend's middle as they still chattered.

Once it was confirmed that they were definitely headed towards him, Lambert spooked. He was not ready to meet Geralt. Not like this.

He had an utterly embarrassed expression on his face and fidgeted with his hands more before twisting on his heel and taking off.

Not today.

--

"Lamb?"

Eskel knocked on the door that was already partially open but then he stuck his head into the room, where he spotted a large lump underneath the blanket that was draped over the far bed. The older boy smiled lightly and then slipped inside the room, gently closing the door behind him.

"Are you asleep?"

"Mm.."

"Did I just wake you?"

"..No." The voice that came after a little groan, and the sound of a yawn, said otherwise and Eskel's smile widened.

"Okay, well, sit up because I have something for you," Eskel hummed and then climbed onto the bed, holding the finished poppet in his lap. "'t's gonna to be dinner time soon anyways."

A fiery mop of curls revealed itself from under the covers and Lambert sat up fully, turning to Eskel with a tilt to his head. Questioning. Until he saw tha finished poppet, that is.

"It's done!"

"Yep. Here you go," He laughed as he handed it over. "And it looks enough like Geralt, don't you think?"

Lambert held it at arm's length with a grin before frowning quickly and furrowing his little brows. "It's not.. that's not why–"

"Well, sure it is," Eskel laughed again, good naturedly and then shifted so that he could flop onto his back, laying next to Lambert. "I can see how much you look up to him."

"That's not.."

"Nothing wrong with it, Lamb."

Lambert eyed him for a long moment and then dropped onto his back as well, so that they could lay shoulder to shoulder, as he hugged the poppet to his chest.

"..Do you like it?"

"Yeah, you did a good job," Lambert mumbled and then nudged his elbow into Eskel's side. "Thanks."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they both stared up at the ceiling, where hewn timbers ran from one side to the other. Eskel could practically feel Lambert thinking so he left him to that, knowing the other boy would speak up eventually.

And sure enough, he did.

"You're friends with him?"

"Who?"

He knew who.

"You know who."

"Who?"

"Geralt.." Lambert huffed and whined in annoyance as he kicked his foot against Eskel's leg.

"Oh.. him," Eskel stressed, teasing his friend and earning himself another light kick. "Yeah. I am. We've been friend since before me an' you were friends."

That made Lambert sit up with another huff, this one sounding particularly offended. "What? And you never told me?" He complained loudly.

"I didn't know you wanted to know..!" Eskel responded, laughing as he shook his head. "And how did you not know? We always do stuff together."

"Well–" Lambert frowned and then shoved Eskel's knees that were in a bent position, with his feet flat on the mattress. "I just didn't know!"

"Alright, alright."

Another bout of silence settled and Eskel was grinning to himself as Lambert stared down at his poppet with a look of intense focus. He draped an arm over his face so that his elbow covered his mouth; he really was trying to stop himself from laughing.

"Can I meet him?" The younger trainee said quietly, playing with the arms of the doll.

"Yeah. Go ahead. I think he's probably already down, ready for dinner."

"No!" The redhead shook his head and gave a pout as he looked up and hugged the poppet back against his chest. "You have to introduce me to him."

Eskel quirked a brow and then gave a laugh–one that he quickly apologized for when Lambert whined in offense. "Why?"

"Because.. Because I dunno what I would say," He explained in embarrassment, looking down and Eskel found himself making a sympathetic noise.

"He's just another kid like us. Just say hi."

"No.." He whined more insistently and shook his head. "You have to do it. Please, please, please? Esk, pleeeease?" He pouted more after drawing out the 'long e' sound.

"Ugh, come on." Eskel clambered off the bed and then stood up, snagging his fingers around Lambert's arm.

‐

"Geralt?" Eskel reached out to tap his friend's shoulder, and showed a sunshiny smile immediately as the other boy twisted around on the bench.

"What.. do you need?" He said slowly as he eyed Lambert–who was clutching onto Eskel's hand and partially hiding himself, eyes huge and round once again–curiously with a slight laugh.

"Lamb here wanted to meet you but wasn't sure what to say because he's embarrassed and shy," Eskel explained, to which Lambert immediately argued,

"What? Why would you tell him that? Prick!"

Geralt grinned and pushed himself to his feet as his hands settled on his hips. "He doesn't sound shy."

"Yeah! M'not!" There was a roll of eyes and huff from the youngest of the three as he let go of Eskel's hand. He folded his arms and stomped a foot.

Eskel had a proud smile on his face, having known that that would successfully crack Lambert out of his shell. The redhead was always quick to argue with things like that.

"So, Lamb?"

"Lambert." Said boy lifted his chin in a stubborn way, after correcting the nickname, and sticking out his hand for a handshake.

Geralt and Eskel smiled even more as they exchanged glances.

"Nice to meet you, Lambert," Geralt hummed and clasped the other boy's smaller hand and tilted his head to the side as he laughed. "Want to sit next to me during dinner?"

As his hand was dropped and that invitation extended, Lambert glanced over to Eskel with another wide eyed expression. Eskel simply shrugged with a big smile as he walked away to find his own spot.

He then looked back to Geralt who was gesturing to the bench with a raised brow and Lambert straightened himself up more, eyes bright.

"Would I ever !"

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@persony-pepper @lovelyeskel

Let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

[shirlleycoyle]

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon

Every fictional character you can think of has experienced 9/11 in fanfiction.

A Clone Wars veteran with two lightsabers is on United Airlines Flight 93 and prevents it from crashing. Ron and Hermione get caught up in the chaos as the towers fall. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends watch the attacks unfold on TV from Sunnydale. We have spent 20 years trying to process what happened on 9/11 and its fallout, and that messy process can be tracked through the countless, sad, disturbing, and sometimes very funny fanfiction left across the internet.

Many of the fanfics written in the weeks and months following the 9/11 attacks seemed to directly respond to the news as it happened, processing the tragedy in real-time through the eyes of characters they loved. In the absence of a canon episode where Daria Morgendorffer paid respects to those lost, writing fanfic about these characters also experiencing trauma helped fans cope.

One YuGiOh fanfic published on fanfiction.net in May 2002 could have been ripped exactly from what this writer experienced that Tuesday morning. “It started as a normal day,” user Gijinka Renamon wrote. Yugi and his friends were in school, where their teacher informed them of the attacks and sent everyone home from school.

“After reading people’s 9/11 fics, I decided to write my own, and put a certain character in it. And Yugi and his pals were my first choice,” the author's note reads, explaining the connection they felt to United flight 93 and the World Trade Center attacks. Given that they lived in Pennsylvania, and “it’s close to New York, I felt really sad about it.”

Stitch, a fandom journalist for Teen Vogue, told Motherboard that this reaction to 9/11 is not at all uncommon in fandom.

"Fandom has always been a place that positions nothing as 'off limits,'" she said. "Historical tragedies like the Titanic sinking and atrocities like… all of World War 2 show up regularly across the past 30 years of people creating stories and art about the characters they love. So, on some level, it makes sense that 9/11 and the following 20-year military installation in the Middle East has joined the ranks of things people in different fandoms turn into settings for their fan fiction."

Reactions depicted in a handful of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfics published in the weeks after the attacks ring a little truer to the characters. “Tuesday, 11th September 2001,” written by Anna K, almost echoes the lyrics from “I’ve Got a Theory,” one of the songs in the musical episode that aired in November 2001. “We have seen the apocalypse. We have prevented it. Actually, we’ve prevented quite a few. So we know what they look like,” they write, before taking a darker turn. “They look a lot like…New York today.”

Killing demons and vampires doesn’t phase the Scooby Gang, but when preventable human death is brought into the picture, it’s gut wrenching.

“What am I supposed to do…When I can’t do anything to save the world?” Buffy cries  into Spike’s chest, watching the attacks unfold on TV in a fanfic the author described as being “about feeling numb and helpless.”

In “Blood Drive,” Kirayoshi writes about Buffy and her friends saving a van full of donated blood meant for victims of the attacks from a group of thirsty vampires. One Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic even takes a blindly patriotic turn, where noted lesbian witch Tara McClay helps Xander hang an American flag from the window of the magic shop to make Anya feel better.

Experiencing 9/11 as a young teenager was overwhelming not just because of the loss of life. Almost immediately after the event itself, it was as if the entirety of American culture re-oriented itself towards an overtly jingoistic stance. As we get distance from the attacks, seeing the tone of television and movies from the early 2000s is jarring, and some have gone viral on Twitter. In the world of pop music, mainstream musicians like the Chicks, formerly known as the Dixie Chicks, were blacklisted from the radio while Toby Keith sang about putting a boot up the ass of terrorists. On the Disney Channel, a young Shia Labeouf reading a poem he supposedly wrote about the events. The poem concludes with the line, "it's awesome to be an American citizen."

In a world so completely saturated with this messaging, it is not surprising that fanfic authors started including 9/11 in their work so soon after the event. Even The West Wing had a strange, out of continuity, fanfic-esque episode where the characters reacted to 9/11. In some cases, it made sense that the characters in the stories would be close to or a part of the events themselves.

"For characters like John Watson or Captain America, the idea works to an extent," Stitch told Motherboard. "In the original Sherlock Holmes works and the 2011 BBC series, Watson had just returned from Afghanistan. For Captain America and other Marvel heroes, 9/11 was something that was addressed in-universe in The Amazing Spider-Man volume 2 #36. Technically, 9/11 is 'canon' to the Marvel universe."

In “Early Warning: Terrorism,” a fanfiction for the TV show Early Edition in which a man who mysteriously receives tomorrow's newspaper, predicting the future, avoids jingoism, but tries to precent 9/11 from happening. This fanfic remains unfinished; it’s unclear if the characters successfully prevent 9/11 in this retelling.

Largely in fanfic from the era just after 9/11, when many young authors were trying to emotionally grapple with it, the characters don't re-write or undo the events themselves. It's this emphasis on the reaction to tragedy that colors the fanfiction that features 9/11 going forward.

Although fanfiction authors have been writing about 9/11 consistently since soon after the event, whenever that fanfiction reaches outside of its intended audience, it looks bizarre.

A screenshot of a Naruto 9/11 fanfic on the Tumblr subreddit comes without any context, or even more than two lines and an author's note. It’s impossible to suss out if this falls into the category of sincere fanfic without the rest of the piece or a publication date, but modern-day commenters on the Reddit thread see it as classic Tumblr trash.

Screenshot from r/Tumblr

“Bin Laden/Dick Cheney, enemies to lovers, 10k words, slow burn,” one user joked in the replies, underscoring the weirdness of Naruto being in the Twin Towers by comparing it to a What If story about Cheney and Bin Laden slowly falling deeply in love.

It’s hard to tell how much of the 9/11 fanfic and fanart starting a few years after the attacks is sincere, and how much of it is ironic, and trying to make fun of the very concept of writing fanfiction about 9/11.

A 2007 anime music video (in which various clips, usually from anime, are cut together to music) that combines scenes from The Lion King with Linkin Park’s “Crawling” and clips from George Bush’s speeches immediately after the attacks feels like the perfect example of this. Even the commenters can’t seem to suss out if this person is a troll or not.

There’s no way that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic 9/11 fanart could be serious, right? Especially if the description pays tribute to “some of the nation's most memorable buildings,” and features five of the main characters as child versions of themselves. The comments again are split between users thanking the artist for a thoughtful remembrance post, and people making their own headcanon for why Twilight Sparkle is surreptitiously absent from the scene.

Screengrab via DeviantArt

There’s Phineas and Ferb fanfic that combines a 9/11 tribute concert with flashbacks to Ferb being rescued from the towers as a baby, written on the 10th anniversary of the attacks. It jumps from introspection to lines like, “‘Quiet Perry the Platypus. I’m trying to listen to these kids singing a 9/11 tribute.’”

The author's notes make it more likely that they meant for this to be a tribute piece, but it doesn’t quite make sense until watching a YouTube dramatic reading of it from 2020, fully embracing the absurdity of it all.

“For me, 9/11 is synonymous with war. It completely changed the course of my life," Dreadnought, the author of a Captain America fanfic Baghdad Waltz that sees Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes fall in love over the course of the war on terror, told Motherboard. "It’s the reason I joined the military, and I developed deep connections with people who would go on to deploy to Afghanistan and Iraq. These very much felt like my generation’s wars, perhaps because people I graduated high school with were the youngest folks eligible to serve at the time.”

Dreadnought told Motherboard that although they didn't deploy, their career has kept 9/11 and the trauma from it in their mind. After seeing that people who fantasize about Steve and Bucky getting together seemed particularly interested in reading fanfiction that related to 9/11, they decided to try their hand at it.

"I had to do something with all of that emotionally, and I’m admittedly a bit emotionally avoidant. So I learned through fic that it’s easier for me to process those feelings and the knowledge of all the awful stuff that can happen in war if I can turn it into something creative," Dreadnought said. "Give the feelings to fake people and then have those fake people give the feelings to readers!"

To Dreadnought, who is a queer man, the experience of researching and writing this was more cathartic than they first expected, especially as a way to navigate feelings about masculinity, military culture, and queer identity. But they said the research they did, which included watching footage of first responders at ground zero, was what helped them finally process the event itself.

"It was like a delayed horror, and it was more powerful than I expected it would be." Dreadnought said. "When I was eighteen, I was pretty emotionally divorced from 9/11; I just knew I wanted to do something about it. So coming back to it in my 30s while writing this fic, it was a very different experience. Even the research for this story ended up being an extraordinarily valuable exercise in cognitively and emotionally processing 9/11 and all of its second and third order effects."

Fanfiction that features 9/11 provides an outlet for people who still grapple with the trauma from that day. But Stitch warns that the dynamics of fandom and how it relates to politics can also create fiction that's less respectful and more grotesque.

"With years of distance between the stories written and the original events of 9/11, there seems to be some sort of cushion for fans who choose to use those events as a catalyst for relationships—and Iraq and Afghanistan for settings," Stitch said. "The cushion allows them room to fictionalize real world events that changed the shape of the world as we know it, but it also insulates them from having to think about what they may be putting into the world."

The tendency of turning these events into settings or backgrounds for mostly white, male characters to fall in love has the unintended effect of displacing the effects that the war on terror has had on the world over. Steve and Bucky might fall in love during the war on terror, but they would also be acting as a part of the American military in a war that has been criticized since it started. Fanfic writers in other fandoms have come under fire for using real world tragedy as settings for fic before. In the aftermath of the 2010 Haiti earthquake Supernatural fanfiction about the actors Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki going to the island to do aid became controversial within the fandom. There have also been fics where characters grapple with the death of George Floyd that is written in a way that displaces the event from the broader cultural context of race in America.

"A Captain America story where Steve Rogers is a 'regular' man who joins the US Army and 'fights for our freedom' post-9/11 is unlikely to deal with the war’s effect on locals who are subject to US military intervention," Stitch said. "It’s unlikely to sit with what Captain America has always meant and what a writer is doing by dropping Steve Rogers into a then-ongoing conflict in any capacity."

After enough time, “never forget” can even morph into “but what if it never happened?” A 19k+ word Star Wars alternate universe fanfic asks this question, wondering what would have unfolded if someone with two lightsabers was on United Flight 93. This fic, part of a larger fanfic series with its own Wikia, considers what would have happened if Earth was a military front in the Clone Wars.

In this version of events, a decorated general who served in the Clone Wars is able to take back control of Flight 93 before it crashes, landing safely and preventing even more tragedy from happening that day. In the end, all of the passengers who made harrowing last calls to their loved ones before perishing in a Pennsylvania field survive thanks to the power of the Force, and are awarded medals of honor by President Bush.

Twenty years after the attacks, it’s painful to think about what would have happened if people got to work 15 minutes later, or missed their trains that morning. There weren’t Jedi masters deployed to save people in real life, but for some of the fanfic writers working today, the world of Star Wars might feel just as removed as the world before September 11, 2001.

Fiction serves as a powerful playground for processing cultural events, especially generational trauma. The act isn't neutral though; a decade's worth of fanfiction that takes place on or around 9/11 shows how our own understanding of a traumatic event can shift with time.

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[zetalial]

A look at the old FMA Fangame Bluebird’s illusion

Hey there. One of the more interesting things to come out of the FMA fandom is this fanmade visual novel called Bluebird’s illusion. It was made in October 2004. I’ve recently tried it out so why don’t I share?

It’s based on the FMA manga but was clearly heavily influenced by the anime as well with it’s cute artstyle and much of the music. The manga was of course far from finished at this point and perhaps what drew plenty of attention to this little fanproject was its speculations. (And the impressive art.)

So, the story takes place in a seemingly happy future where Ed has restored his brother’s body and now lives with Al in a lovely house in Central. He still works for the military and has just started a new job as the Fuhrer’s secretary. Mustang is also around, of course.

However all is not well... (Long post by the way).

(I’m going to be spoiling this games plot pretty liberally just for the warning.)

It is called Bluebird’s illusion because the brother’s seeming happiness is just an illusion that cannot last. It is revealed that in order to restore Al’s body, Edward made some sort of deal with the Homunculi. However, his current body isn’t good enough to hold his soul and it’s starting to disappear. Plus the homunculi are still watching in the background.

The game at first is pretty lighthearted with lots of jokes about Ed’s height, about Roy’s avoidance of paperwork, Breda’s fear of dogs etc. and the beginning is honestly pretty boring to play, in my opinion. Yet, it gets darker and in fact this game has no happy endings. 

There are three main endings to this game plus one joke ending. 

The most infamous ending is definitely the Pride!Ed ending. 

Ed gets taken into the basement beneath Central HQ where the Homunculi’s Father awaits to use Ed to fulfill his vision of creating a new, perfect world. This happens in every ending actually. 

The Homunculi’s Father is Hohenheim, by the way. (As I said, it’s following the manga but at the time it was created it was not yet clear that Father and Hohenheim were different people.) He speaks to Ed with a strange amount of fondness, calling him his most beloved son. (Which is quite something when its in front of the other Homunculi. I found this a really interesting dynamic) 

Ed of course tries to resist, even with Hohenheim-Father promising to create a new permanent body for Al. He is held captive in the basement for five days before someone comes to rescue him. In that time he gets pretty abused by Envy but manages to disrupt the Homunculi’s plans some.

In this ending, Roy and Al come to save Ed but things go rather badly. 

Both Roy and Al are defeated and dying (from facing Bradley(AKA Wrath) and Envy) so Ed, in his desperation and heedless of his own wounds, attempts a transmutation to bring them both back. All his efforts bring the basement crushing down and almost no one survives.

Seeing how Ed is not fully dead and the great power he possesses, Hohenheim-Father decides to bring him to life as the Homunculus Pride (A name he has never given to anyone before as he felt he had never had any children worthy to bear the title until now.) 

Ed’s pretty much dead inside however. Pride is a cold, heartless creature who can’t seem to remember who he was. His new life seems to feature following Envy around (the only other Homunculus left.) 

For all the love around Pride!Ed, the game only has this one screenshot, featuring an admittedly really cool design. (I love how he’s got two arms again but only one has a long sleeve). If you search for fanart there’s loads of Pride!Ed with this design. (It’s also rather impressive how this game predicted a Homunculus could be made out of a human as this was before Greedling existed and the method seems pretty similar.)   

So, that was the real downer ending, (Roy dead, Al dead and Ed having lost himself). The other two endings hit closer to bittersweet.

If you go down the Al path in the game, by going home early each day and spending time with Al, you can unlock the Veg!Ed ending.

So, you do things like agreeing to help Al with housework and agree to go out with him on your day off and you deal with the serial killer plotline. (Yeah, that’s a thing, it’s a little weird.)

Anyway, this time when Al and Roy come to rescue Ed from the basement, Al is particularly self-sacrificing. Actually this end kind of reminds me of the end of the anime. I’m sure you can see why.

Envy stabs Al through the chest and so a distraught Ed decides to sacrifice himself to save his brother. He trades his soul for a new body for Al.

Al lives this time, (As does Mustang) and his body is restored permanently. However Ed has given up his soul. He isn’t quite dead - he’s physically alive but unresponsive. Al takes him back to Risembool and continues to talk to and take care of Ed in his vegetative state, hoping his brother will some day respond to him.

But there’s no sign of any recovery.

...

Right, the next ending is known as the Roy end. This is the ending you get if you follow Roy’s storyline.

His storyline also deals with him remembering Hughes, who’s been dead for quite a while. You’ll notice in the picture above that one of the books has one of Hughes’ knives inside. 

In this storyline you are invited to go out with Roy on your day off rather than going alone or with Al. It includes getting in a fight with him at one point.

(They go into a pub and initially Roy orders two alcoholic drinks. Then he corrects himself and orders Ed something non-alcoholic. His first order had been for Hughes.)

Sadly, this ending is bittersweet as well. Al and Roy go into the basement to save Ed but this time Ed can’t save his brother. Alphonse disappears permanently. Ed’s still messed with the homunculi’s plans as he does every time and Roy and Ed manage to get out alive though Ed’s crying.

Ed is extremely broken by the loss of his brother. For the next two weeks Ed locks himself away in his house alone, willing himself to believe his brother isn’t truly gone. Then Roy, who is now the Fuhrer, comes to see Ed. He’s cold as ever, telling Ed that his brother’s gone and that he needs to move on and start living, that Al would want him to be happy.

Ed does start to move on, and continues his life by working under Roy in the military. (For RoyEd shippers this could lead into an angsty relationship between the two in this ending. It’d be a pretty good dynamic.)

So, how about the last ending - the joke ending? It’s called the Tea alchemist ending. In this game, one of Ed’s jobs has been to serve tea every day to the Fuhrer. Yeah.

To get the tea ending you have to go down the King Bradley route. Basically you need to serve tea to him first every day and work overtime every day. On your day off, Bradley should call you and asks you to come into work on your day off. If you agree then Ed gets a permanent position of serving the Fuhrer as the Tea Alchemist and he never gets taken down to the basement. 

(The person patting Ed’s head in the above image is Fuhrer Bradley by the way.) Working overtime every day has Ed get closer to the Fuhrer. 

Ed gets given some cookies made by the Fuhrer’s wife. Another time, Ed falls asleep and looks absolutely adorable on the couch. Another day, Selim calls Ed and they have a friendly chat. Selim says he wishes he could see his father more often. Then the next day, Selim has gone missing and Ed is able to tell them where to find him. King Bradley is very grateful, hence the fatherly pat on the head. Honestly, this might have been the most surprising storyline for me in the game. I didn’t expect anything like it at all (whereas I knew about the dark endings).

So that’s all the endings in this game. The only other thing to mention would be all the fanservice stuff. If you ship Royed, EdAl or Edvy, this game gives you fodder for all these ships. (Or if you don’t ship them then you can just ignore it pretty easily). 

Of all the character designs in the game, Envy’s is probably my favourite to be honest. 

I love how his spiky hair seems to be all wildly different lengths and, well, just everything about his design. He’s as cruel and smug as ever of course. (When I say there’s shipping fodder, there’s no tender moments just typical Envy tormenting Ed and whatever his companionship with Pride is supposed to be.)

Roy is probably the one with the most obvious shipbait. At one point he convinces Ed to wear a dress to disguise himself as a girl. If that sounds random and fanservicey, it certainly is.

(Yes Roy looks that smug for pretty much the entire game.) He and Ed are practically constantly arguing. 

Ed meanwhile, looks incredibly cute throughout the game.

(His pajamas are adorable. It’s has little cartoon Alphonse heads on it)

All versions of human Alphonse tend to look pretty good, I find. And this game does not disappoint in this regarding. For an obvious bit of fanservice, this game gives a particularly random shot of Al in the shower. (Getting that particular event was also kind of annoying and random.)

Yeah, there’s no explanations for some things. 

Oh, this isn’t necessarily fanservice or anything but I thought that Breda’s design looked surprisingly good, of all people. 

It’s the casual open uniform look. Makes him feel big and strong.

Finally there’s also a few outtakes that become available if you complete the right parts in the game. Most of them weren’t much to talk about but I found the one between Wrath!Bradley and Father Hohenheim to be rather funny. 

It’s a silly outtake so it starts with Hohenheim commenting that Wrath is a good and dutiful son to him. Then he notes that Bradley is a father too and asks how Selim is. Wrath replies that Selim is the cutest boy in the world. Hohenheim has to argue though and says that, no, his son Edward is the cutest in the world. This goes on for a bit. Then Mustang (who has been secretly hiding with Alphonse) appears in order to interject that he believes Edward is indeed cuter than Selim. This is a mistake. 

Wrath kills Mustang in anger. And the conclusion is that you should never mess with a father’s pride. 

Gosh, that line has some layers in it. Anime!Bradley actually is Pride ironically enough. And later in the manga it would be revealed that his son Selim is Pride. That hasn’t been revealed yet though and the only Pride in Bluebird’s illusion is in fact Pride!Ed. 

Now, I’m sure Selim is absolutely adorable in this verse but can he really compete with Bluebird’s illusion Edward? 

Heh, so this has become an incredibly long and detailed post that hopefully explains everything there is to know about that old fangame. It was an interesting thing to try out for sure. I’m not sure I’d actually recommend trying it out as it’s a bit slow and I’ve already explained pretty much all the interesting things about it. 

If anyone has any further questions, I’d be happy to try and answer if I can though.

I personally love the headcanon that Hohenheim is in fact Father and I think I would have preferred it if the manga had actually gone that route. If only for the creepy fatherliness he might exhibit towards Edward. The odd love twisted with being evil and wanting to destroy the world would have been amazing in my opinion. Just the sample this game gave me was great.

[femnet]

I was a celebrity's booty call. And I was also another celebrity's “side-chick”. For a while. It's not a good feeling, despite what fanfiction wants you to think. I have a feeling none of them have ever actually experienced what they write about in their stories.

This was all before I started seeing my boyfriend, just to be clear. The first one is a famous TV producer from the United States, and he started following me back in 2011 after I complimented him on how gorgeous his wife was and how lucky he was to be dating someone like her. I was born in 1994, so I was 17 when he started following and talking to me. He started liking a bunch of my tweets, and we'd just have conversations that soon after turned into more than just conversations. 

We were sexting. He would go on holiday with his wife and three kids and he'd send me a message first thing in the morning to tell me he had a hard-on. When I would tweet about a male celebrity I liked, he'd DM me and say he was jealous of that person for having my attention. Now, mind you, I was a virgin at the time and had absolutely no idea what to reply to any of this, but I humored his behavior and made stuff up. Apparently that worked because our conversations went on until 2015, when I deleted my Twitter. 

I was stupid. I figured it was only texts; we're never gonna meet, right? And of course, that is still true, we never met. But now I know that if he did this with me, the chances that he also did this with other girls behind his wife's back, and maybe more than just sexting, are high. Which is what ultimately really hurts me to think about. He's always been very vocal on his political opinions, on his drug and alcohol abuse, he's a big member of the social justice community, fighting for people's rights, and his tweets really take off a lot of the time. He gets a lot of positive attention. In addition to that, he's also a huge part of the show he produces, so people know him. They like him. Except maybe Republicans.

The second big time (in between were a couple rather meaningless flirts: all of the guys were taken, I was single and figured I had nothing to lose) was with a famous guy from my country, who also happens to play for a national team as well. 

I met him for the first time when I had just moved to the city I live in now. We had a mutual interest for sports, so I told him I was going to see one of his matches and he said he could get me a ticket, which I thought was kind. He asked me before if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. And I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he dodged the question but because in my stupid mind I thought „he would totally tell me if he has a girlfriend“, I figured: that means no then, right?

Before I even saw him play for the first time, I went to his place. I stepped into the apartment and everything in there screamed: girlfriend. Her shoes, pictures of her and his family, pictures of their families together, her jewlery, her toothbrush in the bathroom. I had made it clear to him before that I wasn't looking for anything, but still we ended up making out and I told him there and then „I think you have other plans than I do“. 

We didn't have sex that night, I ended up talking to him about his girlfriend, actually, and made him tell me about her. They lost their virginity to each other, he told me funny stories about her, and so I asked him „then why am I here?“ and he said „it's been three years“, and then said he'd slept with someone the year before. Two years, now three, and he couldn't be faithful to her. 

That really made me realize how disgusting some people are, and the fact that he was one of many men I'd met between 2011 and 2015 was really starting to take a toll on me. I didn't sleep with him, like I said, but I felt some sort of responsibility towards his girlfriend. I didn't have a name and couldn't find any clues through his Facebook or their apartment, so I ended up going home and immediately asking him for another meeting, promising him sex this time. He got me tickets to his game, took me home with him afterwards – to this day I still listen to Style by Taylor Swift and think of him, because that song described that night perfectly – and we got to his place and immediately got down and dirty. I didn't sleep with him, because I had a plan in mind, but we ended up on top of each other, in our clothes, and I was about to take off his pants, but I realized that sleeping with him first and then planting my proof that I had been there wouldn't be right. So I got up and said I wanted to go home. 

I cried because I felt terrible, even though he was the one that should've been feeling like shit for doing this, but he didn't. I felt bad for his girlfriend (now wife), and I felt bad for being in his apartment. I never felt bad about what I did next, though: I had taken a pair of my underwear with me and put it underneath his couch, because I figured if anyone was going to look and clean there, it would've been his girlfriend, right? He didn't seem like the kinda guy who cared about anything and just kept his girl around as a housekeeper, really, who just happened to be gone for the month on an internship while he had me over twice, trying to have sex with me both times and effectively cheat on her. I personally already consider kissing cheating, but I guess that's up for debate.

I don't think she ever found my underwear, or maybe she did but she's too in love with him to think that this meant anything. Maybe she thought it was her own, maybe he convinced her it was hers. We talked for a little bit after that, I was an idiot and actually apologized for not sleeping with him, which is something I wouldn't do now. The last two or three years have really taught me a lot of self-respect, being 25 and having been through all those weird, awkward encounters... it really made me re-think my self-worth and how I let others treat me.

It wasn't really their stardom that got me. They were being nice and „not“ famous to me, that's the point. They were just like me and you and that caught my attention. But I did admire their craft and what they stood for, I had talent crushes, if you will. Having had those experiences with famous men and realizing that they're just awful, trash people, really broke down a barrier for me.

 The celebrities that are supposed to be some sort of role model and be a good influence on the world and young people – and don't even get me started that that isn't their responsibility – can be just as disgusting as your Average Joe. No, it's not that they can be that; they actually are that. I have trouble trusting famous men now. I don't want to be around them on my own, no matter how big or small their fame and success may be. I have been thinking about going to a convention in the UK for two men whose craft I admire, but I'm not sure if I really should. In the back of my mind I can't help but think „if I feel like this, how many thousands of other women have also gone through the same thing“... if not worse. 

I didn't have to sleep with those men but I still felt dirty and weird and just wrong afterwards. I know even if I had ever spoken up about these people, nobody would have believed me. If I didn't have pictures and screenshots I probably wouldn't even believe myself, and this is small scale. This is nothing compared to what other women have to go through with famous people who take advantage of their attention and their crush (or their need for a job) so much more than these men did of me. 

It's a strange world out there. Famous people, your celebrity crush… they're no different and no better than you and me. I've experienced this first hand, in a very unfortunate way that'll stay with me for the rest of my life.

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter 2018 Anime Final Review

Why yes, pretty much all the Spring premieres are done (don’t even remind me haha I’m so far behind) and this is horribly late, I had a busy couple of weeks ;---; and am still struggling to catch up, but here’s my final rundown of this long slow winter! Worst to best, as always.

Dropped

Basilisk Ouka Ninpou Chou: Although I’d said I’d keep watching for the Nobunaga twist, given the onslaught of new stuff for Spring, it’s unsustainable to keep watching something so mediocre I don’t even find anything to say about it. Also Nobunaga hasn’t been mentioned in three episodes.

DUMPSTER FIRE

Darling in the Franxx: So we’re halfway through the show and still feels nothing of importance has happened, except we learned “lesbians are not viable, what a relief” and also KOKORO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE BABIES. The whole Kokoro business is very unsavory because on the one hand the writing is a dick to Walking Fat Joke Futoshi, but on the other hand Futoshi is an entitled Nice Guy who acts like Kokoro has some obligation to return his feelings, so basically everyone sucks lmao. Btw, does anyone know what happened with episode 13? I went to watch it but what I got instead was a Deadman Wonderland episode, complete with the story of Palurdo meeting Lab Experiment-turned-Beast Waifu as children and making a promise that would subsequently be forgotten until they meet again in their teenage years. Jesus, does Womenz are Beastz: The Anime have a single original idea?

How am I supposed to measure my own disinterest and contempt

This basically means I didn’t care for these shows. I don’t hate them but I was aggressively unengaged in them and I can’t really rank them from worst to best because that would imply me having any measurable emotional reaction to them

Violet Evergarden: I don’t think I have much to add about this one that I haven’t said before. Tryhard Sad Anime Girl stories rehashing old clichés with little novelty to them,  with a bonus of a super poorly explained and thought out child super soldier tragic backstory that still has me ?????? The final episode has the addendum of trying to redeem That One Asshole in a “he treats her bad because he’s sad about his brother dying sob sob sob he’s totally not a jerk” and i was very annoyed by that.

Koi wa Ameagari no You ni: It’s complicated to talk about this show. I really liked the first episode, hated the 4-6, then was mostly bored by the rest of it. The whole romance angle was completely dropped in the latter half, but I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing given how tastelessly it was being handled in some moments, or a bad one given how bland everything else was. It felt like Akira’s crush on Kondo turned out to be insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It also felt like Akira was profoundly underdeveloped, and it bothered me because Kondo was developed properly. His character felt more fully realized than hers. Like idk, I just cared so little for the last few episodes and it didn’t feel like Akira’s emotional progression was very connected with the first half of the show. 

Fate/Extra Last Encore: I don’t even have a screenshot. Apparently the reason the show started so late into the season is that it took a long time to produce, and apparently there are two more episodes that will be released at some point in July. But really, what matters is that I have no idea of what this show was trying to accomplish. The characters were a bunch of pieces of cardboard spouting pseudo nihilistic philosophical nonsense and I don’t even know how to describe the plot. It was generic in its Boss of the Week approach but the execution was often very flat. Definitely none of the fun from Apocrypha’s cool characters was to be had in this iteration of the franchise.

Too much iyashikei

This season we had too much iyashikei and I’m burned out. Here are the ones I didn’t hate but also wasn’t super in love with.

Miira no Kaikata: I think this show would’ve worked better as 3-minute vignettes. 20 minutes of it was a bit too much and I struggled to pay attention. I also felt the dragon and MukuMuku had very tangential roles. I don’t have a whole lot to say. It’s cute, if cute is your jam this show is for you. Connie is best smol monster.

Hakumei to Mikochi: Another cute show that gains extra points for its somewhat unique setting, beautiful color palette and picture book aesthetic and because the two main girls are great characters. I particularly liked the first and last episodes. It’s a relaxing, fun little show

Sanrio Danshi: The harbinger of feminism made into a toy commercial, while not quite iyashikei, is still a slice of life that just occassionally indulged in too much melodrama. It was nonetheless a fun little thing that managed to turn cynical consumerism into a positive message for boys: it’s okay to like non-traditionally-masculine things. One of the details I liked most was that none of the boys had to give up on their previous groups of friends even after “coming out”, Kouta’s friends and Shuu’s team were supportive of them and even participated in their dumbass musical play. Some may even read this show as a not-so-subtle allegory on homosexuality and while I don’t think this was Sanrio’s intent (their intent is to broaden their market, plain and simple) the fact that it works so well with that reading is honestly great. I had very minimal expectations for this show and I’m happy it turned out better than those.

Classicaloid 2: Classicaloid isn’t quite iyashikei either but it fits in the “didn’t love it, didn’t hate it” category. I’m a huge fan of season one, but unfortunately a big part of S2 failed to capture the magic. I think most of it was restored in the second cour, specially with brilliant episodes such as the one where Dovo-chan becomes a super-realistic painting of himself, and the last three episodes really captured what made Classicaloid great. I’ve really come to love this cast, so I wouldn’t complain if we got more seasons (please do Vivaldi!!!)

Shonen is a Good Genre, Actually

Shonen as a genre/demographic is much reviled for its repetitive clichés and childish stories, but I think we live at a time in which we can have well-executed shonen anime that, although falling for the same old clichés, have enough heart and sincerity that makes them enjoyable. This part also isn’t necessarily ranked, since my favorite one will change depending on which day you ask me

Nanatsu no Taizai: Imashime no Fukkatsu: As I have mentioned before, this second season seems to be the polar opposite of the first one’s rapid pace. It’s been a while since I read the manga, but I feel like it took a lot less to get to the mid-season cutoff point there than this anime would lead you to believe, especially the training part felt excruciatingly long. NanaTai has other various flaws including its 1000% not funny harrassment jokes and the dumb introduction of quantified “power levels” (why Suzuki), but characters like Diane, King and Ban give the show a unique flavor. And I’m not even gonna pretend to be unbiased, I just love everything involving Ban, even the weird and questionable choice of bringing Elaine back. I’m excited that we’re finally approaching Escanor’s arrival.

Yowapeda Glory Road: I also forgot to grab a screenshot lmao. Yowapeda is a very particular beast, and with its episode count already in the hundreds, it’s not something I’d reccommend unless you’re super into dragged out ridiculous sports anime. This second season of Onoda’s second year has not been without its flaws either, starting with the, imho absurd persistence in making Sohoku look like underdogs even though they’re reigning champions. It’s made a lot of the first two days of the Interhigh feel a lot grimmer than this cheerful show ought to. Kaburagi is still an insufferable character, and the fact that he drags the team down doesn’t help him either, and I just wish the writers would let Best Boy Teshima win anything. I hope the second day ends on a lighter note, because the gloom and doom is making this a less enjoyable watch than it should be

Mahoutsukai no Yome: I feel a little better about this one knowing the final was anime-original, but at the same time I’m beyond livid with how it was wrapped up. I loved the second half of the series because of how well-written and emotional Chise’s growth was, and everything up to her embracing of Cartaphilus’s curse was a beautiful display of her strength and will to live. What I’m not here for is that asspull wedding whatever that makes no sense in the context of the previous events, especially because after the fact, Elias’s attempt to kill Stella is swept under the rug. This could’ve been my favorite show of the season without that bullshit ending and while I don’t regret watching it, it leaves me with a sad feeling of what could have been

Best of the season

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens: It had a slow start, but with its endearing cast and well-developed character relationships, HTR won me over, especially the last quarter. The animation was veeery barebones, but Lin and Bamba’s charisma and their organically developed relationship carried the show to be one of the most enjoyable of the season. I also really appreciate the fact that the series includes a gay couple with an adopted daughter and that Lin’s crossdressing is never used as a joke or treated as a character flaw or a “phase”. I love stories about found families and I’d love to see more of this gang fighting crime and doing shady business in their city of assassins.

Garo: Vanishing Line: This iteration of Garo had a somewhat slow start, but boy did it pick up steam in the second half. The action was great -the final fight against King had some incredible stylistic choices, the characters’ journeys felt complete and very human and the story was interesting and different enough from other Garo to not feel repetitive, yet with enough Garoisms that made it feel connected to everything else. Like I said, I love stories about found families, so the way Sophie found a home with Gina, Luke and Sword by the end was very touching. Watching Sophie’s journey has been a treat, and I’m immensely happy that this wasn’t a Guren no Tsuki disaster, but was more in line with the excellence of Honoo no Kokuin.

Gakuen Babysitters: This was the huge surprise of the season for me, I almost expected it to be pretty dull. Instead it turned out to be super cute and extremely heartwarming. It had a couple of duds here and there, mostly the not-actually-a-pedophile joke character and the early love triangle skits, but the former disappeared and the latter was vastly improved in the second half of the show. I wish Ryuichi’s grief had been dealt with a bit more, but I think what they did show was very well executed and empathetic. And the portrayal of the kids felt very realistic, including both children’s most adorable and most obnoxious behaviors. KIRIN IS BEST GIRL

Card Captor Sakura Clear Card arc: I have expressed some complaints and dissatisfactions with this sequel all through the season. Mostly in regards to the new cards and how the old ones seem to have been forgotten (also the lazy designs of the new cards). In spite of that, Sakura hasn’t lost any of its heart in these 20 years, the characters are still the kids we grew up with. It is an overwhelmingly cheerful and positive show, from Sakura and Syaoran’s shyly developing relationship, to the hopefulness of Sakura’s magic and just the simple day to day life of Sakura and her friends. In spite of all its flaws, Sakura is still my favorite show of the season and I’m happy we get to spend one more season with these characters. Just please give me more Yue??? 

Ooooof, finally I’m done with this! PLEASE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THE 20+ SHOWS I’M SAMPLING FOR SPRING AHAHAHAHA. There’s too much anime. Anime must be stopped, immediately. Don’t hesitate to send me your thoughts about the winter season, even if it seems I’m losing my mind a little Dx TOO MUCH ANIME

[laurenpandora]

ScoobyNatural

So, I loved this episode. Honestly one of the best episodes ever. I know it's had mixed reviews from some people who really dislike Scooby Doo but the rest of us loved it and I really think they did a fantastic job with this. The animation was so good, the characters look like them, and although their movements are a lot more cartoonish it's still believably them which I'm really happy about. I've been hyped for this episode for weeks and honestly it was worth the wait.

So this episode starts and we're launched straight into the episode with no recaps or 'previously' scenes. Which is jarring enough in itself, but we're also launched straight into the middle of a fight scene. This kinda messed with my head a little as SPN doesn't usually start with them already in the middle of a case, fighting the monster. The next confusing thing is the fact that they seem to be fighting a human-sized plush dinosaur in the middle of a store. Bit weird but we go with it. Dean commenting that "killing Barney" was pretty satisfying made me laugh.

The store owner offers them something from the store to say thankyou and of course Sam is very humble and refused, but Dean can't miss an opportunity like that. "Take it easy, she's delicate" They carry out a large TV and of course Dean personifies the thing, calling it a 'she' which is what he also does with his car so we can tell he's already quite attached to the Television.

"Be like Elsa. Let it go." Sometimes Dean's references show a very different side to him. He wants Sam to drop the case because 'it's over' but Sam obviously knows something is wrong about it. Dean distracts Sam though because he's so excited to show him what he's been doing with one of the rooms in the bunker.

"The Dean cave.. or.. Fortress of Deanitude.." That's actually kind of adorable. He's so happy about it and I love that. Dean being at home in the bunker is my jam. He never had a home for so long, sleeping in the car and cheap motels and living on the road for years, and now that they have the bunker, and he can decorate, and make it his, he gets almost domestic and this is just so good for him. The rare happy Dean moments seem to be increasing and that is so beautiful.

He makes a big show of turning on the TV, and something isn't right. It sparks purple and they're both confused. Dean actually tilts his head and I'm instantly reminded of Castiel. I wonder if Dean picked that up from him?

Then they're both sucked into the TV.

They freak out because they're suddenly animated, and they do it in such a cartoonish way both at the same time saying "you're a cartoon! I'm a cartoon!" it's very funny.

"Maybe this is an angel thing. Or the trickster." "No, he's dead." "Or is he?" No! He's not! It's almost like they know. Dean even said it really ominously. This makes me so happy. Dean calls out Sam for being confused about the car getting there, like as if everything else about this is just mildly weird, but the car being there is just not possible.. XD

They drive to a Malt Shop - I have no idea what one of those is - and see the Mystery Machine, which is how they figure out they're in Scooby Doo. Then we get the ScoobyNatural title scene, which seems pretty late on in the episode but I guess it wouldn't have made sense to have it at the beginning.

Dean fanboying over the Scooby Gang is so childlike.. but then he's instantly after Daphne which I find a bit creepy. I know it's a cartoon, and I know that it's all meant to be fairly innocent, Dean has been a fan of this show since he was a child, but it's still weird to me. Canonically Daphne is in her late teens. Dean Winchester is in his late 30s. That's a little weird to me. But since his Daphne crush probably started when he was a child himself, and the characters are just animations.. I'll let it go for now I guess.

"I dunno. Cas is kinda like a talking dog" Dean compares their lives hunting to Scooby Doo and it's kinda cute. He sees the characters as 'role models' which is kinda funny because the Winchesters have literally saved the world so many times, and the Scooby Gang.. not so much. He even seems quite nervous to meet them.

Scooby is apparently the heir to a fortune left to him by an 'Old southern Colonel'. Please tell me this was an intentional reference to Asmodeus? Even Dean called the guy 'Evil Colonel Sanders' earlier this season, and we've all been calling him that since before then, so this can't be a coincidence, right?

"There are no words in this newspaper, Dean" This really got me. One of my favourite things ever is when cartoon characters point out stuff like this. Even though obviously Sam and Dean do know theyre in a cartoon, the 4th wall breaks like this still make me laugh. Dean decides they have to play along because he assumes it's like the Changing Channels episode and they have to 'play their part'. Honestly a lot of us were hoping that Gabriel had something to do with this episode, but I guess we're waiting for the next episode to see him again.

The part where Dean eats the giant sandwich actually reminds me of Changing Channels:

Dean really dislikes Fred and I'm guessing it's because he's jealous of him? Not just the FredxDaphne thing but his, and I quote: "perfect hair, his can-do attitude, that stupid ascot". The way Dean talks, he's so needlessly angry at Fred just for being Fred, he either low key wishes he was more like that, or he's got some weird crush on Fred too?  I wont read too much into that right now. I did notice though, that as they speed off racing the mystery machine, there is a large sign that just says 'LUBE'. I'm sure that's just a completely innocent background image but what can I say, my mind is often in the gutter.

So they get to the house and yes the late Colonel is actually called Colonel Sanders, which Sam and Dean both notice, but I think it was more as a 'thats kinda stupid' reaction than anything. "Spend a night in a haunted house for a million dollars? That can't be legal." Trust Sam to think of it that way, but he's got a point. But then, it is a classic movie trope. Velma points out that 'things like this happen all the time' because obviously in cartoons, in her universe, they do.

Dean doesn't want to tell them that they're in a cartoon, they're innocent and pure and he wants them to stay that way (despite flirting with Daphne, ahem) which seems like a good plan until crap starts getting real. "Oh Dean. Boys and girls don't sleep in the same room, silly." Yep, Dean is right, the Scooby Gang are definitely innocent and pure. Daphne calls out Velma for being interested in Sam, which I thought was a bit of an unexpected development but kinda funny.

Then one of the background characters is killed.

"Jinkies" "Jeepers" "Zoinks" "Ruh Roh" "Son of a bitch." This really got me, just all the Scooby catchphrases and then Deans which is just so wildly different.

"We should look for evidence. Like fingerprints. Or fluids." This sentence is where it starts to get a little uncomfortable. It's a little like watching the first 'Don't hug me I'm scared' episode. It's slowly pushing the boundary of not so happy and innocent. They're still so chipper though, someone has just died and they're all like 'ooh a mystery'. That's not normal, guys.

Then they see an ominous figure at the window in a trenchcoat and I think we're supposed to think it's the ghost but everyone I watched this with already knew it was gonna be Castiel. "Castiel? It sounds like a great italian pizza place." I'm dying. Actually dying of laughter. Poor Cas.

Cas explains how he got there and we get a scene where he's at the bunker talking about getting the fruit of life. He didn't check they were there before launching into his story about the fruit, which is good because it means we get to hear about it. Apparently he had to make a deal with some Djinns and he may have technically married their Queen?  This particular scene was hilarious and was what sparked the tweet from Rachel Miner that I posted the screenshot of the other day.

"Killer stuffed dinosaur?" "Uh I didn't mean a real..." "It's a book we're writing. Yeah. About Killer stuffed Dinosaurs. It's called-" "The Killer Stuffed Dinosaur..In Love." The hell kinda books has Cas been reading? I hope someone writes this book though. SPN Fandom, don't let us down. I would do it but I can't write. Which you can probably tell from my posts..

They try to fight the ghost but quickly realise that it's definitely not a person in a costume. Velma's levels of denial are almost impressive.

Then they find a chopped up guy and it gets pretty disgusting. "That's not good." Really, Fred? Really? "Do they always just.. walk away from dead bodies? or?" Sam is the cynical commentary I didn't know I needed for this episode, I love it. Also Fred cockblocking Dean at every turn is magical.

"Wonderful. I once led armies and now I'm paired with a scruffy philistine and a talking dog." Sassy Castiel is my favourite. <3 Velma is still insistent that the ghost is just an 'unscrupulous real estate developer' or something similar, even when Sam tries to explain the truth. I know I'd have trouble believing in ghosts in her position, but the stubborness is quite painful. Dean tries again to flirt with Daphne by asking what she looks for in a guy, and she basically just describes Fred which is hilarious. Dean notices a book "The one that isn't painted into the background of the car- hm - library" and there's that cartoon 4th wall again. Pointing out how the important props are always so obvious in cartoons. They fall down the secret passage and Dean is trying to get handsy with Daphne in the dark. Yeah ok Dean that's definitely creepy, stop it.

Now we've got the obligatory Scooby Doo running about the house scene, complete with music and doors and popping out of vases. And Scrappy Doo randomly even though he wasn’t even there. Fantastic. Love it.

"We have to stop this ghost" "We almost did. Dean had him by the thigh" "He what?" I don't even know what to say about this so I'm just gonna leave it here.

Scooby and Shaggy falling off the building, being saved by Cas with his coat as a parachute is possibly the best part of this entire episode. This was the point where I started wondering if Castiel still has his angel powers inside the cartoon. Shaggy gets badly hurt which just doesn't happen in Scooby Doo episodes, as pointed out angrily by Shaggy: "I have jumped out of a biplane in a museum and was fine!".

This I guess is the final straw and they decide to tell the gang the truth. Which seems like a good plan on the surface but then they all start having a mass existential crisis. "We've been stopping real estate developers when we could have been hunting dracula? Are you kidding me? My life is meaningless!" "If there are ghosts.. that means theres an afterlife! Heaven! Hell! Am I going to Hell?!" ..Daphne, what did you do?

"Scooby Gang does not have nervous breakdowns." Yeah you tell them Dean.. Like, you just ruined their lives, ripped apart their entire concept of reality, and they're all scared teenagers but yes lets tell them to pull themselves together. He does make a damned good motivational speech though. He tells them how they're heroes and honestly, even I felt better after this speech.

"We can help. We have to." "F**king right you can." Dean swore. And they bleeped him. This doesn't even happen in regular Supernatural episodes. Like holy crap. I think I heard somewhere that the F word wasn't in the script but when Jensen said it they just left it in? I've been watching convention videos on youtube so it was probably at Paleyfest or something?

Their weird rube-goldberg style trap for the ghost is.. inventive? The salt and the coconuts and the soap and the washing machine.. They send Shaggy, Scooby and Castiel to sneak around the house and the animation of them sneaking is just gold..

I cannot imagine Cas walking like this and that just makes the whole thing funnier. And of course the three of them end up in the washing machine instead of the ghost. Because Cartoon logic. "Freds traps never work" of course they have a plan B which seems to be some kind of glowing salt circle. I wish salt circles were that pretty in real life. It's kinda sparkling.

The ghost turns out to be a child, who is being controlled by the pawn shop owners friend, Jay. When they go back in the other room the Scooby Gang are freaking out, yelling about shotguns and traps and panicking about the ghost, so the boys decide they need to get the kid to fix the episode. "Kill it with fire!" is not something I ever thought I'd hear from Daphne.

Sam seems to be in pain trying to tell Velma she was right. Which is understandable, as she's been so smug about him believing in ghosts for the whole episode. It's gotta be difficult to tell her she's right when she isn't.

They finally get to do the whole pulling the mask off part, completing the episode, and Castiel sneakily fixes Shaggys arm, which I guess answers the angel powers question I had earlier. Everything is back to how it should be.

They say goodbye to the gang and Cas saying goodbye to Scooby and Shaggy is so beautiful but so funny at the same time. Velma kisses Sam, which is weird af and then she wanders off talking about his shoulders... I don't even know what to make of that.

"That was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. And that includes the Cartwright twins." "What did you do with the Cartwright twins?" For gods sake do not ask, Cas. Sam doesn't want to know either.

They're all back in the real world and Dean has to smash his TV open. I kinda wonder if he couldn't have just taken it apart to get the knife out? I guess that would have taken time but it seems to me that would have been the better option? He could maybe even have just tipped it upside down? Seeing as it was just dropped into a hole in the top of the TV. Maybe I'm overthinking it. Maybe I'm just upset about breaking electronics. Either way, they set the spirit free, and it's super emotional.

They go to confront the 'bad man' as the kid called him and Dean is wearing an Ascot scarf thing over his jacket and plaid shirt getup. It clashes badly and does not suit him at all to be honest. They expose Jay for what he's been doing, but of course no one but them is going to believe it, so they also have some convenient tax evasion dirt on him so that the police can take him in.

"Velma was right. It was a shady real estate developer after all." That is such a twist ending. That's hilarious.

Then the guy says the 'meddling kids' line, even though Sam, Dean and Castiel are not kids? They're grown men. Bit confusing but I guess it had to be done? Dean doing the impression of Scooby Doo was a little cringey though. "Dean. You're not a talking dog." That.

He's right that red is his colour. But the ascot is not a good look.

This was a really fun episode and I really enjoyed it. I rewatched it to write this post and I am half tempted to watch it a third time already... Very impressed.

[nothowitsupposedtobe]

Dear Hannah

I dont understand you. It is really hard for me to hang out with you because I just dont know what to think of you. For one part I want to be there for you. You are stressed of your current situation with the teamleader position, uni and so much more. You are in kind of a deep hole right now and I want to try to help you with just being there for you. You seemed to like it to just sit down and have a drink and talk. Its relaxing. And you say you like me. Thats nice. But at the same time you seem to hate me? We were coworkers and then I quit but I am still employed because of my overtime I need to get payed. I also help out at work if really needed. Now you are in charge of a lot of things because you need the money. There is also Flippa that wasnt even employed anymore and you never said something about that he should leave the work whatsapp group. Then he found another job and left by himself. Since then you kept making comments about what I am still doing in this group and stuff. You always made it seem like it was a joke but lets be real. Everyone knew you meant it. And so I left too. I mean why not. I understand this. But what confuses me is you texting me right after about why I just left and that it was just meant to be funny. I shrugged it off because what am I supposed to do? The teamleader said I should leave so I left. No questions asked. I told her if she really wants me back in this group just put me back. She never did or answered me on this message. And then I get a screenshot from another coworker from the group chat where Hannah and some others were jokingly crying about me leaving. Thats okay too I mean we are kind of like a family. But then I get another screenshot. Its a privat chat between Hannah and this other coworker named Kati. Kati asked Hannah what this was and told her to put me back in the group. Hannah just said that I was annoying and needed to leave because I dont work there anymore so I should leave. She never said anything to flippa. I shrugged this also off because I hate stress and I mean Hannah made her point to me. What am I supposed to do? I thought I made sure to only write usefull stuff in the group and only reply when I was not undermining an important message but maybe I was wrong. I just think its hard to hear.

But this isnt the only thing. When we are alone everything is cool. When we are in a group she seemed to hate me. Everything I do is weird and stuff. I mean like yes its again funny but sometimes it is so obviously that she just thinks I am annoying and it hurts! Dont tell me I am cool when we are alone but then destroy me when we are in a group. And I am not the only one who realized this exact thing. There is another person who thinks the same things about Hannah. I just think in Hannahs eyes we are not on her and the others level and she wants us to know but at the same time doesnt want to be the asshole. It just hurts. Just yesterday was a really little thing that happened but we were in the middle of a city. In the evening. And there was a cat. I already know I am weird and loud and kind of hyperactive so I really try to stop me from beeing too weird like screaming "THER IS A CAT!" when there is a cat. So I ignored the cat. But then two minutes later someone else screams the exact same thing and Hannah and some more started stalking the cat because she is cute and stuff. The only thing running through my head was "If I had said that I would get this annoyed funny look from Hannah and some comment that would underline how much of a weirdo I am. And it is just a cat." Its sad to not be able to time travel to test this exact thing. Its just hurtfull. Sometime Hannah seems to not realize how much she talks me down. She just does it. The even more sad part is that to few people seem to care. Like there is this other person who I said is experiencing the same thing. And yesterday another person also seemed to see this in this exact situation. But at the end everyone else doesnt seem to care because they just laught about the 'joke' Hannah wraps these comments in. I am so close to ening this friendshit. I am all about cutting out toxic people even when this would be my first time I actively do something insteadd of just slowly cutting the contact. But first I should talk about this with her.

I would like to think that this is all just because she is in an depressive and stressfull part of her life.

[astroellipse]

it’s tiiiiiiiiiimmmmeeeee

I started writing one of these earlier but scrapped it to close firefox while my internet was shitting itself, as if that has literally ever helped in the past. Cannot for the life of me remember what but this was hours ago so wtv.

I started leveling dancer today. Initially it was just so I could use an outfit I’d put together and I swore to myself that I wouldn’t actually level it right now. AST and SMN are nearly to 80, I’m supposed to be working on my DRG relic weapon too... but... man it is so fun to play. Also very pretty. My brain feels like much playing it it’s just pressing e then r then e then r the occasionally shift+e or shift+r and maybe throw a q or two in there after that. Or c and v for aoe. The point is it’s mind numbingly simple, barely anything to weave in but some defensive stuff, my one buff every once in a while, I get to do a little dance occasionally pressing the pretty glowing buttons.

Hm... I should take a picture. Oh! Of my new DRG glam too, though I don’t have a weapon picked out for either of them yet. DRG is going to use one of the relic weapons, which will take a bit and... I’ll probably settle on a dungeon weapon for DNC. Or perhaps the exarchic one, if I can afford it. Some of them look cool, others not so. But every time I see one of them my mind spits out the words “cum crystals” at me which I think I got from watching some streamer or other. A combination of Jabronimike and hearing, oddly enough, several streamers make jokes about JO crystals. It’s been embedded in my head since I first saw them, also the crystal wall in Amh Ahraeng. Cursed. I wonder if I can even enter gpose while in queue?

Okay I can. But I’ll do that later. I’m still weirdly self conscious.

It does make me kinda mad now when I don’t get comms... I find that with DNC I’m in a position to save people’s asses with my shield and heal, and I have the know-how of these dungeons to do it well, but do I get recognition for it? Well... occasionally. And then there are other times when all 3 party members without even giving a customary tyfp, and I assume without giving out any comms whatsoever. Complete nonsense, Unbelievably rude. Why does make me so angry when people don’t respond with the common courtesies... at least in that last one I did I did get a comm but still no wave back or anything in parting. Weird it’s happened so many times tonight.

It really is funny the amount of looks Doran gets. Especially since... those are just the people making a show of having their characters heads turn towards him. I don’t really ever go that far though I will stop in my tracks to oggle pretty people, or literally any midlanders that don’t use the Ardbert face. It’s easy enough to stand off behind or to the side and swing your camera around after all. I like the attention, alright? That I made a hyur guy that looks at least sort of interesting. Also that I am projecting onto him increasingly now. I think I decided not long after making him that Doran would be nonbinary, using he/they to go with Secret’s she/they... which I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned. Secret was gnc, but with Doran I took it a step further, as I’ve explained having figured out how to make outfits, and also unabashedly using popular casual market items now.

wtf the dancer questline is great..... EVIL DANCE SPIRITS? what is even happening. I love the instructor lady and how Doran and Ranaa shared those looks of confusion. Also they accidentally have the same hair and wear the same shirt (when Ranaa’s in casual wear) I swear I didn’t know what she looked like before making the outfit. Nashmeira might actually be the first midlander woman I like in this game????

The fantasy racism still sucks ass though why does the game treat the Duskwights so bad. They weren’t doing anything wrong but getting possessed by a dancing evil spirit orb they literally didn’t hurt anyone or do anything. Why should they turn them over to authorities???? Everyone’s all, oh those trouble making Duskwights, surely meaning to harm us and cause a ruckus and all. Always thieving and pillaging and whatever the fuck else as if I haven’t seen both the archer and lancer questlines. that one dude was driven to thievery and eventually madness and what might as well have been suicide because of gridania’s systematic racism and thus inability to find work or create a stable life. like. they were explicit about this. i fucking hate these writers sometimes they’re so dismissive, in this and other things including a more recently addressed controversy which i will not get into at the moment.

Hm yes that makes complete sense. Collective dread from war manifests in aether and results in people dancing for some reason. What the fuck game? I thought this was gonna be something cool but this is stupid. ??? Causing them to trample kids and tearing off their own limbs????? Who wrote this shit what. It. Didn’t afflict a single soul in Eorzea before now because literally not a single soul had the time to dwell on what had happened. I take back whatever positive thing I said before this is fucking terrible.

oh jesus CHRIST why didn’t i get a screenshot of that. there was a lookalike of the twins’ dad called “Disowning Father” he bolted away as soon as he teleported in however. super unfortunate. the reveal was recent enough that he was still a sprout scholar getting started.

too tired to keep writing just going to run bardam’s mettle until i pass out. i love this dungeon so much.