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althealuisa · 5 years ago

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Trust

BASED ON Doubt by @jinmukangwrites (this is the URL bc I don’t trust Tumblr yet) , one of my favourite authors that brightens my day, every day <3

Go read that first, it’s basically like part one. Please leave a kind comment <3 <3

Just as a disclaimer, I’m not native and I didn’t even check for typos more than once soooooooo... Expect to find a few here and there

I’m tired now and need to go to bed. i wrote this in class the last two days bc I was bored and actually came up with this Idea while not being able to sleep after reading Doubt. Oh well.

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Twilight stood and stretched his hand out to Wild. “Let’s go back. The others are worried.” For a second, Wilds panicked mind told him to run. He didn’t want to go back to the others. He didn’t want to talk to them. He wasn’t ready to tell them yet. He never was ready to begin with.

They wouldn’t want to know anyway.

He grabbed Twis Hand and stood up. “You know that we need to tell them, right?” Twilights voice was wary, as if he was afraid to break something. Wild nodded. Twilight frowned. “I mean now. Like, I mean right now. They will want to know. And, I’m sorry, but they deserve to know” Wild stared at the ground, rolling the words around in his head. “Okay” He hated how sore and tired his voice was.

Twilight turned around and started slowly walking back towards camp, not noticing how Wilds back straightened, how his breathing evened into an forcefully slow and pressed rhythm, how the torment on his face faded into an emotionless mask. This wasn’t the first time he did this, and he guessed it wouldn’t be the last. He followed his predecessor, his steps too stiff and even, his movements too controlled.

Look at you. Do you think they won’t see right through you? This is ridiculous.

They won’t. He caught up to Twilight, walking just a few steps behind him. They moved in silence, the conversation they were to have looming over them. They could hear the others arguing from far away. “I just want to search for them, come on!”, “You can’t just waltz of on your own. Twilight can handle this.” Obviously, Twilight had been right. Wind didn’t seem too happy with just waiting for their return. Although Time seemed more than calm, Wild could hear the slight worry in his voice.

Twilight stepped into the small clearing and all the Links fell silent. “Did you find him?” Time asked concerned. Twilight nodded and continued to walk forwards without a word. His expression had changed into an almost angry stare. He sat down at the fire place and said nothing as Wild stepped out of the woods. “Wild! Are you alright?” Wind shouted, bolting forwards and throwing his arms around Wilds waist, breaking the upright posture he had remained in. Wild froze in place, not moving at all.

Wind let go of him after a few seconds and studied his face worriedly. “Come”, he said, dragging him towards the fire. He obeyed and sat down next to Twilight. The others followed them. The short, uncomfortable silence that fell was broken by Time. “What is going on Wild, what happened?” His voice was sturdy and calm, his features relaxed. Wild didn’t dare to answer. He knew his voice would fail him and he certainly didn’t want to break into tears in front of the others again. None of them noticed how he straightened his back again and raised his chin, but they all recognised how he lifted his hands.

It’s about the TriForce. He signed. Only Time spoke sign apart from him, so he sighed silently and began translating for him. “It is about the TriForce… He doesn’t have it”. He frowned at the last word as Wild lowered his Hands. A silence fell over the group. Wind shifted uncomfortably. “So?” asked Twilight. “What does it matter?”

“Well, it’s a sign Twilight. We all have the TriForce, we know that we are the Hero of our times because the gods gave it to us. How would we…” Warriors stopped himself seeing the look on Wilds Face. The Facade he had kept up had broken quickly. His features were twisted in pain and his eyes now stood out to them as red and puffy. He lifted his hands again.

“That’s not true” Time answered angrily to Wilds movements, but Wild shook his head and continued. “Time what is he saying?” Asked Hyrule worriedly. Time took a deep breath and began to translate Wilds signs. “He is right. It’s not only the TriForce, there is much more like that. I don’t belong with you, which is not true.” anger was shining in Times eyes as he said the last words. Warriors paled. “Wild, no. That’s not what I meant. You are as much of a hero as everyone of us.” Most of the others either nodded or hummed in agreement. Wild shook his head again. Tears were leaking out from his eyes as he signed. You don’t understand.

Look at you. They are lying to you again, trying to get your hopes up. They always have to care for you.

Time repeated him again and Twilight suddenly stood up, his face twisted in anger and sadness.

All because of you.

“How could you even believe for one second that you are not like us?”

Because you aren’t. You failed. So many dead people.

He spoke, his voice crumbling as he formed the words: “Because I am nothing like you.”

You are a failure.

“Why would you think that?” Hyrule asked, his voice soft and understanding. Suddenly Wild just wanted to get away. Panic flooded every inch in his body, his Head screaming at him to run away, to leave the others and to stop bothering them, to leave them behind for their own good and go back to doing what he did before he was a burden to everyone around him.

So, you want to be dead? Because every second of you being alive was a burden to someone, a problem in their way. How old where you when you pulled the sword? When your mother was killed because of you?

The image suddenly flashed through his mind, and before he knew it, he was sucked into the memory.

The World was different. Brighter. So colourful. Every little creature strolling by or floating through the air brought joy to his little heart. His father was walking in front of him, a bright smile adorning his features, surrounded by a few more men, all clad in armour bearing the royal crest like him. “Come on my boy! It’s not much further!”

He was right. Only a few minutes later they stood in front of a dense forest. Although he was little, he noticed the uneasiness with which the guards were looking at the fog wavering through the trees.

“The princess and the king are going to be here soon. So, do as I taught you son!” He smiled at him proudly as Link stiffened his back and brought his feet parallel together. They stood to the side as Princess Zelda, barely 6 years old, arrived. Her face seemed too serious, her eyes just too old for her age as though she had seen more than even she herself could comprehend.

Her father walked right behind her, his face more relaxed and happier than you would expect him to be. “Let us begin. As I promised, your Son is allowed to come with us Soren.” The King said and nodded to Links father. The knight nodded and stepped into the fog, tightly holding his sons Hand. “Stay close to me Link.” He drew his sword and walked onwards in a seemingly illogical pattern. The Princess, the King and the knights followed them close behind.

When slowly there appeared, what seemed to be an entrance into a brighter part of the forest, Link had the strange sensation, that it could have been a mistake to follow his father to this place. They stepped through a huge hollow tree trunk and suddenly stood in a brightly lit area. “We have arrived, Sir” Links father said and stood to the side. The Royals walked past them and took the lead further into the forest.

Zelda stopped in front of a big stone pedestal. She looked up at a massive tree right in front of her. “Great Deku tree. Hear our prayers.” Even her voice sounded mature for her age. “We have heard of a prophecy that has told of the return of the great evil, Ganon himself. We seek your advice in this time of need as the gods have proven themselves deaf to our pleas.” She fell silent. A dark chuckle filled the air. “Princess, you have come here without knowing that you have searched in vain.” The Kings shoulders dropped.

“Because what you need has been with you the whole time. As the ancient legend tells, a legendary hero, wielding the sword of evils bane that I have been guarding over the past millenium , and a sacred princess, with the blood of the goddesses have sealed the evil away in the past. You, my dear bear the blood of the goddesses. And the legendary hero is right here with us.” The trees voice sounded almost sad, like he didn’t like what was going on. Links father suddenly paled. He grabbed Links shoulder so strongly, that his knuckles turned white.

“What do you mean?” The king demanded, his voice echoing though the empty forest. “The young boy behind you, he has been chosen by the goddesses. As you know, only the chosen hero himself could pull the sword from its pedestal. Let him try it.” Shocked silence had fallen over the group. The King and his daughter spun around and stared at Link. He was hiding behind his father, panic in his eyes. He didn’t understand all of it, but enough to know that whatever was happening wasn’t good.

“Link.” The King said, his voice sounding almost sorry. “Do as the tree said.” Link didn’t move. “Soren, step away. I am sorry, but if the tree is right…” His father swallowed and stepped aside. Link stared at him, his eyes big and scared. “Do as the king said Link. Like I taught you. Be a good boy…” Soren didn’t look at him as he said those words. Link turned and walked past the King and the princess. Panic was brooding in his stomach.

He could see the sword, its blade buried in the ancient stone. “Pull at it, boy. And don’t let go, whatever happens.” The tree boomed. Link grabbed the hilt, his teeth clenched. He pulled at the handle and suddenly pain fired through his body. He screamed, but he kept pulling, thinking that he might die if he wouldn’t.

He pulled and shouted and screamed, his father screaming something behind him. But Link knew that the tree had been right. Light was erupting from the pedestal and the blade was coming lose. Suddenly, with a loud sound it slipped out of the pedestal. The light died down and the princess shouted something seemingly surprised.

Link sank to his knees, his body shaking and his hands firmly grabbing the hilt of the sword in his hands. He heard faint steps behind him. “Link?” His father asked scared. “He is the chosen hero, Hylian.” The tree said thoughtfully. “I reckon that you will take such actions as to prepare the boy for what is to come. You have loads to do” He continued, directing his words at the King.

Suddenly the scenery changed. Link stood in front of a big door, listening to the argument going on behind it. “He is only five sir! You can not ask something like this of a boy this young! He can barely lift the sword by himself, how is he to already train with it?” He heard his father shout, his voice exhausted but determined. “Soren, this is nothing we can debate about. I can not change his destiny as the gods have chosen him. He will begin his training soon. Travel home and let him say goodbye. He will not return for long. That is an order.”

The scene changed again and Link and his father were approaching the door of their home. His father stopped and looked at his son for a second. “Whatever your sister and Mum say, It doesn’t matter.” He kneeled down. “It is not your fault my son. I know you think that I am sad because of you, but I couldn’t be. I love you boy.” He hugged Link for a second, then stood up. Without another word, he knocked at the door. Nothing was to be heard from inside the house. His father opened the door and stopped the second he entered.

He sank to his knees right behind the doorframe. “What’s going on Father?” Link asked worriedly. As he received no answer, he squeezed himself through the gap between his father and the door frame and then turned. He froze in place. His mothers corpse lay on the floor, a big bloody wound in her chest. His father suddenly jumped to his feet. “Stay back Link.” He snarled without looking at him.

He pulled his sword and walked further into the house. Suddenly, a loud cry sounded and the clanging of metal. Another cry followed and another, suddenly 4 people appearing seemingly out of nowhere. One of them was fighting his father, while the others approached him. They were laughing with glee and raising their strangely curved swords, ready to strike him down. He backed away, his way to the door cut off.

But he didn’t need to worry.

Before they could even touch him, they were dead, his father standing above them panting. “Yiga…” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “How could we forget…” suddenly a small cry was to be heard. His father rushed forward and opened the closet. A brown shadow jumped out and threw its small arms around Link’s father. “Daddy!” the little girl cried, tears streaming down her face. The man kneeled down, hugging her close and trying to comfort her. Link watched from afar, the pained expression on his fathers and sisters faces seemed to clench his heart together.

“I think he’s waking up guys! Wild!” someone shouted as Wild snapped out of his memory. His muscles collapsed beneath him and he tumbled to the ground. Shouting surrounded him that blurred into a confusing mess as he turned to his side and threw up into the grass. His body was trembling, his vision obscured by his tears, his throat seemed to be on fire. He choked as his body was held by two hands, helping him to stay more or less upright. The images of his newly acquired memory were flashing through his mind, confusing him and making his head feel like it exploded. He felt sick, seeing the images of the corpses, but most dominantly guilt seemed to have stuffed his throat.

“Wild calm down!” Twilight shouted, bringing him suddenly back to reality. They helped him sit back up against a tree and tried to hand him a bottle of water. He waved them away as his stuttering breathing started to calm. But the shivering that was rocking his body back and forth only continued on stronger. Time and Twilight had each grabbed one of his shoulders and were holding him tightly. But their firm grip only reminded him of his fathers hand, digging into his back. He choked again, coughing on and on while tears ran down his face. After a few minutes he calmed, his breathing levelling out at least a little bit. “Wild, are you alright?” Time asked seriously. “Yes” Wild choked, His voice hoarse and weak. “You saw one of your memories, didn’t you?” Time asked cautiously, loosening his grip a bit. Wild just nodded in response. “One you knew? Or a new one?“, „A new one”, he answered quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. He could see that the others knew that it couldn’t have been a very pleasant memory. They all looked like they pitied him.

There you go. You finally did it. You managed that they care about you enough to feel sorry for you. And what good did it do?

He lifted his hands and clutched them at his head. The dizziness was confusing him and clouding his mind. “That’s not true”, he whispered quietly. “What do you mean?” asked Hyrule confused. Wild froze. A shadow seemed to go over Times Face. “Wild who were you talking to?” His voice was more than concerned, but he also sounded somehow angry.

“Nobody”, Wild answered carefully, almost scared. Time crouched down, so that he looked into Wilds Face, just a few inches away. “Listen, Wild. You need to let it go. It doesn’t matter how true it sounds, It’s not. Forget it and tell us. Talk to us. We miss you, the way you were before you thought all that nonsense. You are not a burden, you are our friend.” The others looked at Time surprised, but Wild took his hands away from his face and stared at Time, his eyes widened in shock.

“How do you know?” He asked quietly, tears still running down his face. “I knew someone” Time said, looking at him with sadness written all over his features. Wild bit his lip, staring at the ground.

You aren’t strong enough to do this. You are more than just weak. Just give up and let them go.

No, he thought, suddenly determined. They believe in me. I don’t need to protect them. Sometimes… it’s okay to need someone.

“I’m not like you because I failed. I let everyone down. So many people died because of me” he said silently, trying his hardest to keep his voice steady.

What do you expect them to do? To tell you that no one died?

“You didn’t let them down Wild”, Legend said carefully. “You gave your life for them. You did all you could and more. How could anyone tell you that you failed?”

Lies. All lies.

“Sometimes all you have isn’t enough Legend”, he whispered sadly. “So what?” asked Twilight irritated. “After all your torment, after you gave your life, after you saved the kingdom all on your own, without any help, how would anyone still even dare to question what you did? I mean, it was practically the embodiment of heroism if you ask me” Twilight huffed annoyed.

Don’t believe their lies, they are trying to blind you.

“There are so many differences between all of you and me. Different people and villages, even languages in my time. Heck, even the monsters are different!” Wild shouted frustrated throwing his arms around in the air. “We are all different, that’s just the way it is”, said Time slowly.

Distractions. Empty promises. Empty words. Don’t listen to them.

“I think”, Sky started nervously, “That we all feel guilty at some point or another. That we could have stopped the evil earlier. Saved more lives. But the truth is, we couldn’t have. All of us did our best. And although we just don’t seem to understand that, it’s the truth”, he smiled.

NONSENSE!

“I… I think you are right”, Wild slowly nodded. “I’m sorry guys. For all the drama.” He looked down.

THIS WON’T FIX IT!

“Don’t be. We all need that kind of episode sometimes”, Four shrugged. He smiled. “Must be a part of the spirit of courage. You will be very brave but also immensely dramatic when you feel bad. Too bad for you.” The heroes laughed and even Wild managed a smile, a real, genuine smile.

THEY ARE right. I should trust them more.

He felt like a big stone had suddenly been removed from his head. He breathed in slowly.

“I just don’t want to annoy you”, Wild said carefully, but still happily. Time put a hand on his shoulder.

“You couldn’t. We are family, Wild.”

#linked universe #hero of the wild #hero of twilight #hero of time #doubt #trust #go check jin out #as if not everyone that would probably read this is from there anyway #legend of zelda #fanfic #hero of the four sword #hero of warriors #hero of legend #hero of the winds #hero of hyrule #hero of the sky #lw #what am i even doing

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dontyouhearmehowling · 5 years ago

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oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

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ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

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ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

#mine #l #answered #dont rb #i dont think anyone will but this is personal and i dont want to risk it getting out #i wanna have this bc i love telling people this story and next time someone asks i’ll just send them this post

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fayn3ko · 6 years ago

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1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 17, 36, 50, 59, 80, 95, 100 thanks 💫

Oooh, so many, I thank you, anon! 💜✨

1. The meaning behind my url:

It´s the result of a 12 year old girl liking anime lmao first I had ‘Yuki Tiger’ but I wanted something else - I like Fay from Tsubasa Chronicles, and cats. YEAH. I want to drop the ‘neko’, but only Fay is too short for me and I didn´t think of something else, yet ;;

2. A picture of me:

I don´t like posting pictures of me really much but here we go 💦

3. How many tattoos I have and what they are:

Sorry, I don´t jave any! Maybe I want to get some in future, maybe, but I´m really not sure because I couldn´t choose just one lmao

6. Favorite band:

Rammstein aw yeah 💜

9. Tattoos I want:

If I would like to get myself some, I would probably take the Rammstein symbol, maybe some quotes from their songs, symbols and quotes from games and movies I really like and just simple little things

17. A fact about my life:

Mhm, I was always a really, really quiet kid - my mother told me we seldom screamed or were loud as babies - and I can sit there for hours just saying nothing. I guess that wasn´t pleasant for others, I still have problems talking to people (especially strangers) and people sometimes ask me If I am sad.

36. Have you ever had a crush?

Nope, really not. I wonder when it will happen … and if 👀

50. Have you ever seen someone die?

Not yet, thank god. I fear the day I will …

59. Have you ever been lonely?

Oh yeah I felt so, even if you live with your sister in the same room for 19 years. Often I feel misunderstood or think that people don´t like me anymore because of little things. I felt very lonely after a shitty job interview, sitting alone in a empty rail station and crying while waiting for the train. I guess everyone does from time to time, many people have it worse than me.

80. Have you ever sang in the shower?

YEAH, but only when I knew nobody is at home bc I don´t want them to hear it, I can´t sing lmao

95. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

Oh god, yes, often. I laugh a lot, that can happen fast with good friends or a funny video

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows:

Jesus, let me think … my sisters should know everything, Uh. Maybe my fear for the future, I really don´t know what to do as education/job and it really scares me. 😨

#personal #meee #thank you anon! :))

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superfluouskeys · 7 years ago

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11, 16, 19, ,20, 21, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27, 30, 35, 48, and lastly 42 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

OMG HI ANONYMOUS FRIEND THANK YOU FOR INDULGING MEEEE

A H E M

11: Something you miss?

I dunno, the naivete of feeling like I knew wtf I was doing at any given time hahaha.

16: Favorite Quote?

I’m gonna be a total nerd and choose this one bc it was the first that came to mind: “As much, or as little as you need. No one tells you how to mourn. When someone says, move on, you take their hand, and say, my choice.” --Aveline Vallen; Dragon Age II

I CRY EVERY TIME OKAY I’M CRYING NOW.

19: Loud music or soft?

Depends on my mood/general self. Sometimes either one can kinda irritate me actually hahaha--like too loud is obvious but if the music is too soft and just kind of a distant murmur I’m like turN IT UP OR TURN IT OFF???? I’m an irritable sunflower everyone is surprised.

20: Where do you go when you're sad?

To bed? Hahaha depends on the kind of sad. If it’s like a violent immediate circumstantial sad I’ll usually shut myself away to deal with it. If it’s a more drawn-out problem I take a lot of long walks. I used to try to be around people whose presences I found comforting, but that coping strategy has never ended particularly well.

21: How long does it take you to shower?

I like to take a lot of short showers usually--sometimes just in and out in a couple of minutes bc it’s refreshing hahaha. Seldom more than 15 mins or so though.

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

I am The Most Lazy Human in the morning, so I try to make life as easy as possible so I won’t be a slovenly disaster person. If I’m preparing for something special maybe half an hour, but usually ten minutes tops.

24: Turn on?

Being nice to me??? Being tall and smirking????? I don’t know hahaha no one whose name wasn’t Joan Ferguson has turned me on in months what who said that.

wait i forgot an Incident that statement was kind of a lie

send me suggestive photos on snapchat i guess is the addition from said incident i’m the worst okay good evening back into the mist i dissolve

25: Turn off?

Saying something really deliberately uninformed as though it’s common knowledge, responding to the conversation as though you haven’t been paying attention, saying something negative about my favourite fictional characters, telling me how to run my life in any way.

26: The reason I joined Tumblr?

Uhm I used to make nerdy posts about like interesting new words I’d learned or stuff I was studying for class. Please dear god don’t go digging for them.

27: Fears?

There are a lot of things I’m not super fond of dealing with (bugs, people yelling, rejection, etc.), but I try not to harbour any overarching fears if I can help it. The fear of chronic illness does plague me from time to time though.

30: Meaning behind your url

You know how people sometimes have keys and they don’t know what they’re for but they don’t get rid of them bc what if they’re for something? They’re superfluous keys.

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

A GRADE A HIGH QUALITY HUMAN THE BEST YOU WILL FIND A GEM A TREASURE PUTS UP WITH MY BULLSHIT WHICH WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER DO THAT SHE’S BEAUTY SHE’S GRACE SHE’S @misslestrange274

48: Last prank call you remember doing?

Never done anything like that sorry I’m boring and I don’t like talking on the phone for any reason hahahaha.

42: What color underwear are you wearing?

THE GRAND FINALE uhm I had to check actually my bra is lime green and my underwear are like blue and pink polka dots. I like fun underwear colours what can I say?

TMI Fun Thing!!!

#personal #Anonymous #exciting tag for answered asks

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larryrickard · 5 years ago

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lets get personal.

i know this is supposed to be an ask meme but i’m fucking bored & no one ever sends me them, so. also i’m kinda pissy rn unfortunately so forgive pls some of my answers lol

01: 6 of the songs you listen to most?: idk. mostly i listen to everything on random anymore, and only in my car. the only song i’ve listened to on repeat recently has been ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga. 02: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: speaking of which, lady gaga. 03: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.: the only book near me would be all the books, as in my bookshelf. unless you count my kindle, in which case there would be no line 17 because of the font size. sorry. 04: What do you think about most?: idk. whatever my current obsession is i guess. 05: What does your latest text message from someone else say?: “And you don't have to cook it”. 06: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?: with. i don’t like being naked and don’t understand those who do. also i get cold. 07: What’s your strangest talent?: i don’t have talents. 08: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence): are soft and beautiful. meh, have to earn my trust. 09: Ever had a poem or song written about you?: a song, yes. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?: a very long time. it’s not a thing i ever do lol. 11: Do you have any strange phobias?: i don’t think so. my phobias are pretty standard. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?: when i was a kid, yeah. plenty. once my parents had to hold me down and tweeze a chewed up wad of juicy fruit out of my nose. i fucking love the smell of that gum. three year old me may have been stupid but, hey. i was being economical. also i blame it on my parents for, you know, giving a fucking toddler some gum. 13: What’s your religion?: don’t have one. former christian, which is gross. don’t indoctrinate children, please and thanks. 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?: walking to or from my car. that’s about it. :/ 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: behind. no one deserves to see my face. rip to everyone who sees me in person on a regular basis. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?: jars of clay, jimmy eat world, the elms. 17: What was the last lie you told?: that i’m not in debt lmao. the only time i’ve lied to my psychiatrist :/ 18: Do you believe in karma?: no but sometimes i wish i did. so many people deserve their comeuppance. 19: What does your URL mean?: doesn’t really mean anything, he’s a character from the flash. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?: all sorts of things? and idk. 21: Who is your celebrity crush?: lady gaga, angelina jolie, carlos valdes, idk if shane madej is a ‘celebrity’ but him, brie larson, michael sheen... idk, i don’t really have “crushes” but those are the first ppl to come to mind. 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?: nope. and no thank you. 23: How do you vent your anger?: lol. 24: Do you have a collection of anything?: funko pops? but not seriously. i mean. i have a lot of them bc i love a lot of characters and there are some pretty fuckin dope funkos. but it’s not my goal in life to have a huge collection or anything. at least i can say i have less than a hundred of them lol. (less than 75.) 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: ew, neither. but if i had to choose, phone. bc, you know. my face. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?: lmfao no. i mean, i’m better than the person i used to be, that’s for sure. (see: indoctrinated as a child, including your typical conservative bullshit like racism for starters.) 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: so many. i have misophonia. and people chewing + mouth sounds is definitely a big one. love? idk??? music? rain? my cat’s cute lil meow? 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?: what if my thyroid issues were discovered earlier on instead of a year or more after they started. my childhood doctor was Not Great. it took her two weeks to figure out i had a sinus infection. i was in the fourth grade. still bitter about both of those. 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: no, ghosts aren’t real. aliens yes. not the stereotypical ones, but in a “given the size of the universe it’s literally impossible that we’re the only life out there” way. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.: right, the cat. left, air. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?: nothing? it’s my house/room, so to me it smells like nothing. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?: uh... i’ve no idea? 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?: west, obviously. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?: no such thing as ‘opposite’ gender. of a different gender, though? lady gaga. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?: who the fucking fuck knows. literally know one knows, though tbh. they just think they do. 36: Define Art.: lmfao how would i know. i don’t have a creative bone in my body so i should be the last person to comment on the subject. 37: Do you believe in luck?: nope. i hope it’s obvious by now that i don’t believe in fictional things. 38: What’s the weather like right now?: cool. cloudy. typical oregon winter weather. i want rain tho :( 39: What time is it?: 3:04am. 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?: yes. and yes, several times. three. two totaled cars. the last one is the only one that was actually my fault, though. driving too close after it rained. don’t do it, folks. 41: What was the last book you read?: the diviners by libba bray. currently reading a short history of nuclear folly by rudolph herzog. fascinating, but kind of depressing af. 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?: no. 43: Do you have any nicknames?: hal (to a very select few bc 99% of the time i hate it, so fuck you if you call me this without permission), hals, hallie bird, hallie strawberry. 44: What was the last film you saw?: i honestly don’t know. haven’t done a whole lot of movie watching lately. maybe the fall (2006). (please watch this movie, it’s so gorgeous and lovely.) 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: i’ve never had a serious injury. well. i take that back, i guess. in my first car accident i was stopped and rear-ended at like, 40mph. so i’ve had back issues since i was 18. usually it’s fine but sometimes it’s bad and sometimes i can set it off really easily. idk if that counts as “serious”, though. lots of people have back problems. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?: i don’t think so? 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?: i guess buzzfeed unsolved and watcher. and ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga lol. good omens, as usual. 48: What’s your sexual orientation?: asexual. 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?: yes. thankfully only a few (that i know of, anyway). 50: Do you believe in magic?: no. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?: yuuup. they deserve it. 52: What is your astrological sign?: taurus. 53: Do you save money or spend it?: spend it :|| every paycheck i tell myself i’ll be better at saving it, but............ 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?: preordered chromatica by lady gaga. 55: Love or lust?: if i had to choose, love. lust and all that stuff is gross. 56: In a relationship?: nope. shocker, i know. (this is sarcasm. it is no shocker to anyone as to why i’m single.) 57: How many relationships have you had?: just the one. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?: nope. 59: Where were you yesterday?: work on my day off for a staff meeting, and then my psychiatrists’ office. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?: a few things, yes. 61: Are you wearing socks right now?: yes. almost always. 62: What’s your favourite animal?: cats, then birds. mice are p adorable, too. i miss having them. i haven’t had mice since middle school or early high school i think :( i’d love more but my current cat would definitely try to eat them... same with a bird. i’ll probably never have a bird :( 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?: be sarcastic and love stupid puns and bad jokes? 64: Where is your best friend?: one is in ohio and the other is in massachusetts. 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.: no idea lol. i haven’t been on here much recently, and i’m never caught up anyway. and i don’t usually pay attention to who is posting/reblogging. 66: What is your heritage?: mostly german. the rest is other typical white stuff that i can’t remember. some irish? either way idc. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?: uh, rewatching some buzzfeed unsolved for the 100th time? and playing with my tamagotchi? 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?: he doesn’t exist so idc. 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?: nope. also, Nice™. 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?: incredibly doubtful. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?: go to work. i love my job way too much. i’d probably try to get someone’s attention if there was anyone around, and/or call animal services. (there are no canals around here anyway and i don’t walk to work and ain’t gonna.) 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?: who tf knows, i hate this shit. i’d really rather not think about it bc it stresses me out. i probably wouldn’t tell very many people tho. try to find someone to take my cat :( i sure as shit wouldn’t leave her to my parents :( and i wouldn’t want to leave her in a shelter. she’s already done that once and it makes me too sad. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.: trust. you can’t have love without trust, though... 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?: ‘sweetness’ by jimmy eat world, ‘fade to grey’ by jars of clay, ‘thunderhead’ by the elms, ‘bad romance’ and ‘g*psy’ by lady gaga (latter is... i hate the name but the song is so fucking catchy, ugh), ‘torn’ by natalie imbruglia, ‘bring it all back’ by s club 7, ‘... baby one more time’ by britney spears, ‘where’s the love’ by hanson, ‘who do you think you are’ by the spice girls, ‘as long as you love me’ and ‘everybody (backstreet’s back)’ by the backstreet boys, ‘black balloon’ by goo goo dolls, ‘spark’ by tori amos, ‘last beautiful girl’ by matchbox twenty, ‘push it’ by garbage, ‘i want you’ by savage garden, ‘minority’ and ‘she’ and ‘basket case’ and ‘macy’s day parade’ by green day... how’s that lol. 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?: not giving out that kind of personal information lmao. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?: i wouldn’t know. 77: How can I win your heart?: you probably can’t. idk anyway. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?: sure, but lack of insanity is a better way to go. don’t perpetuate the bullshit notion that you need to be suffering to create Great Art™. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?: idk. i haven’t made very many. 80: What size shoes do you wear?: 10 in women’s. 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?: i’m going to be cremated and you probably should be, too. just don’t get embalmed, k? 82: What is your favourite word?: fuck. 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.: ‘alone’ by heart. 84: What is a saying you say a lot?: idk. someone who spends time around me irl would have to tell me. 85: What’s the last song you listened to?: ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga on repeat. 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?: blue. then green, and in no particular order, black, grey, purple. 87: What is your current desktop picture?: it’s boring, just the default mac catalina background lol. i was having issues choosing a background and was getting way too fucking picky, so i just said ‘fuck it’ and have been using this one for months. 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?: donald trump. 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: idk? how much in debt i am? lmao. 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?: assume i’m having a night terror or am hallucinating. and be scared. 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?: hopefully teleportation. 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?: maybe when i met carlos valdes & got a picture with him. he’s super sweet, is living sunshine, and gives amazing hugs. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?: so many :/ idek where to start tbh. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?: i’m sex-repulsed so no thank you. also, gross question. get a life. 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?: new zealand. 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?: yes, my cousin bc he murdered my dad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?: no. 98: Ever been on a plane?: many times. 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?: indigenous people aren’t history, they still exist. shut the fuck up and listen to them. build a time machine to go back in time and prevent colonisers. just straight-up kill them, we deserve it.

#me

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bfknj · 7 years ago

Text

tags masterpost (?)

I was tagged in a few tag games over the past few days and instead of posting them all separately I decided to just put them all on one! If I tagged you feel free to do any or all of these (including people who tagged me!!) As always, don’t feel any pressure to do any, I just think these are fun and wanted to share :)

- - - - 11 questions tag - - - -

Rules: 1. Make sure to post the rules!! 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people

these questions are from @moonmyun !! michaela you had me stRUGGLIN OKAY YOUR QUESTIONS WERE HARD but ily still bless you for the tag you angel :”)

1 who is your bias group? why?

BANGTAN SONYEONDAN AKA MEME SQUAD !!!!!!! honestly they just make me so beyond happy wow holly nobody ever says that about their favs ur original a LOOOT of music is centered around love these days and not to say bts doesn’t do that with a lot of their music but they also tackle a lot of societal issues and I really respect them for that. From 21st century girls w politics, spring day mv and the ferry sinking, suicide in the I need u mv and many other things I feel like they take risks for the sake of portraying what they hold true to their hearts/morals not necessarily what will sell best and I can’t name many other groups who do that as well :( also my boys cute af I love those dweebs IM SO WHIPPED HAH

2 which kpop video do you find the most aesthetically pleasing?

this is hard :(( idk my number one but I really like seventeen hip hop unit’s check in, red velvet’s one of these nights, ladies code’s galaxy, kim lip of loona’s eclipse and crush’s fall ! they don't all match my aesthetic but I feel like they match the songs really well!!! watch them okay 3/5 of them are hELLA UNDERRATED bye

3 if you could instantly learn one choreography, what would you pick?

something by either gfriend or bts?? love whisper or not today or blood sweat tears?? OOOH or red flavor by rv!! tbh though I’m really skinny so my limbs look weird af with a lot of dances rip

4 who do you look up to as a role model (in the kpop community or not)?

there’s no person in particular that really sticks out but I will say I’ve always admired jungkook, and really all trainees for that matter, who leave their families to start training really young because its a process thats hard physically, emotionally and mentally for late teen/early twenties trainees but there’s sO many kids who enter in their pre-teens and idk how they survive also I realized this doesn’t answer your question at all I'm sorry its 1:28 AM I’m just waiting for the DNA mv to drop

5 whose concert would you go to if you could and why?

DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 !!!!! THEY INVENTED LIVE SHOWS DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS or shoot maybe dean or crush or heize?? I LOVE TOO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE also I would say bts but although there are countless amazing beautiful armys there are def some crazy scary ones that are known to be horrible at concerts so

6 if you could pick one idol to be best friends with, who would it be and why?

OK YALL IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT IN MY DAILY LIFE SO S/H TO MICHAELA FOR ASKING ILY either boo seungkwan or ahn heeyeon!! I feel like hani would be so fun to have girl time with bc I feel like we’re really similar in some ways ?? IDK I LOVE HER bUT overall I’d say boo seungkwan because istg we are 100000000% the same person only he has a weenie ok just trust me I am boo and boo is me

7 would you want to be a part of a kpop group if you had the opportunity to be?

I’d absolutely love to be in the entertainment industry and I think the staging, costuming, group dynamics and publicity (variety shows, fan service/interations) in the kpop industry are all really cool but I honestly don't think I have the mental strength to do it lmao idols go through so much and I don’t think I could handle it regardless of how much I enjoy singing/dancing/performing etc.

8 what languages do you speak, and which do you want to learn?

english and some spanish??? I understand a lot because quite a bit of my family speaks it but my conversational skills have gone downhill recently because I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to practice :( with that said, I’d like to be fluent in spanish and - BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME READ IT ALL OK - I’d like to learn korean BECAUSE!!!!! when I was little before I moved I would go to a farmers market by my house and a lot of the older ladies there spoke korean and little holly though it sounded so pretty and I always wanted to chat w them ok THATS WHY I’m not a creepy koreaboo this has been a thing since before I even knew what a kpop was ok bye

9 what song cheers you up when you’re sad?

fire by bts bc I get hella turnt to that song its a pROBLEM also jackpot by block b, baby/puss in boots by astro, chained up by vixx, not today/bst by bts, knock knock by twice, i think I love you by sonamoo THE LIST GOES ON I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST OK

10 what things do you associate with your bias?

dimples!! pretty hands, closing one eye in selcas, ootds, happiness so cheesy ik sORRY, ryan, studying, awkward dancing, open mouth laughs, second hand embarrassment, sentimental rants

11 what’s your favourite thing to do in your free time?

cry over namjoon tbh I’m one of those people who is constantly listening to music so I’m always doing that and singing along regardless of if its free time or not HAH then I really like reading and catching up on my youtube subscriptions

my questions!

what is your dream job?

favorite book of all time?

what is your current fashion like and what is your dream fashion?

if your best friend was cloned, how would you know which one of the two was your best friend?

what song got you into kpop?

which idol do you think is most similar to you?

favorite kpop lyrics?

if given the opportunity to collaborate with any group/soloist of your choice, who would you choose and why?

what is your favorite physical and character trait of your ult?

which underrated groups/soloists do you believe deserve more recognition? any song recs?

do you read fanfics? if so, what are your favorites?

- - - - song title game - - - -

I was tagged by @kihani, your song choices were 12/10

rules: spell you your url with kpop songs and tag ten people! (all of these happen to by song recs too so listen nd be happy friends)

mysterious - hello venus

i think i love you? - sonamoo (a fav ok listen pls)

life in color - beenzino

knock - knk

jelly - hotshot

only u - daze

out of sorts - vixx

night rather than day - exid

she’s a baby - zico

- - - - get to know me tag! - - - -

1ST RULE: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true. tagged by @sleepysugarmoon, thank you friend!! APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller I wear glasses (or contact lenses) I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages I have made a new friend in the past year

tagging some mutuals bc ily and why do you even follow me I'm a wreck tbh OK i tag: @kihani, @21jd, @lapatronakim, @94seulqi, @gayoongi, @springdqy, @medina-kim, @15minss, @je0n, @cottontae, @taebaeul, @booty-baekery, @lalisl, @babekhyun, @voidpjm and anyone else who wants to try any or all of these!!

#i love tags yayayay #don't feel like you have to do it!!#tags

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