#at a wedding rn… wishing i was drawing

[neonvioletlight]

violet is violeting

[can-of-w0rmz]

Volume III Chapter IV/V of the original 1818 text of Frankenstein lives in my brain rent free. I need to rant about Clerval’s death or I’ll loose it. (It’s late and I’m exhausted rn so my ass is NOT as coherent and structured as it could be but fuck it we ball)

“He appeared to be a handsome young man, about five and twenty years of age.” MY PRECIOUS BOY

“(…) having brought the body into her house; it was not cold. They put it into a bed, and rubbed it; and Daniel went to the town for an apothecary, but life was quite gone.” HE MIGHTN’T HAVE BEEN DEAD WHEN THEY FOUND HIM BUT IT WAS TOO LATE

“I saw the lifeless form of Henry Clerval stretched before me. I gasped for breath; and, throwing myself on the body, I exclaimed, “Have my murderous machinations deprived you also, my dearest Henry, of life? Two I have already destroyed; other victims await their destiny: but you, Clerval, my friend, my benefactor”——

The human frame could no longer support the agonizing suffering that I endured, and I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions.

A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of death (…)” THE WAY VICTOR REACTS TO AND SPIRALS FROM CLERVAL’S DEATH IS SO MUCH MORE SEVERE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS TO HIM and it’s also an extremely interesting character study to see what happens when the only person he ever really seemed to have a mutual loving and healthy relationship with gets cut out of the picture – Victor’s had his fevers, he’s wallowed, but he always had Clerval to draw him from his wallowing and to nurse him back to health. So what happens when Clerval’s death is the cause of that anguish? THE DRAMA THE ANGST I love these silly little gothic losers to death but watching Frankenstein grieve over the passing of who was pretty much essentially his lover is fascinating to me and it SHOWS how much Frankenstein adores Clerval through the latter’s death. THE MAGNITUDE OF HIS GRIEF IS A TESTAMENT TO THEIR LOVE oml i can’t rn frfr THEYRE SO GAY AND SO GOTHIC I CAN NOT

“Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest?” “I thank you; but all that you mention is nothing to me: on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving.” “(…)surely I should have died on the coffin of Henry.” AGAIN Victor’s absolute grief tearing himself up over it

“As my sickness quitted me, I was absorbed by a gloomy and black melancholy, that nothing could dissipate. The image of Clerval was for ever before me, ghastly and murdered.” “Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry, languishing in death, the dark orbs nearly covered by the lids, and the long black lashes that fringed them.” Again what I said about his grief being a testament to their love bro, REMINISCING ABOUT HIS DEAD LOVER AND HIS BEAUTY EVEN IN DEATH WHILE GRIEVING HIM I CANT BRO

“Ah! my father, do not remain in this wretched country; take me where I may forget myself, my existence, and all the world.” HERE’S THE START OF HIM PUSHING AWAY THE MEMORY AND TRYING TO SUPPRESS IT BECAUSE THE GRIEF IS TOO SEVERE and that is SO interesting for how he shifts his tone with Elizabeth and puts up that fake demeanour of wanting to marry her because he thinks it’ll make HER happy even though both of them describe dreading the wedding, also possibly another argument for the legitimacy of reading Clerval and Frankenstein’s relationship as romantic – in order to forget him, he assigns himself to the role given to him as a child by marrying Elizabeth and gives up whatever he hope he had (possibly discouraged from Clerval being murdered as a response to Victor refusing to finish the Bride and subject her to the same fate as him and Elizabeth to the Creature, a pact made without her knowledge or consent, an arranged marriage. Where has spiting that tradition led him? Where has him standing up to the shroud of his mother’s dying wishes, hanging over him the entire novel thus far, led him, by refusing to force the Bride into an arranged marriage with the Creature, as he was with Elizabeth? To the death of the one man he truly loved. So fuck it, right? He can at least “make his dear cousin happy” and not die spiting the one thing he was meant to do – make his mother proud from beyond the grave by marrying Elizabeth.)

“the wind that blew me from the detested shore of Ireland(…)” sorry my country traumatised you bro (I mentioned to one of my teachers while explaining the plot of Frankenstein to them, as you do, that this chapter takes place in Ireland and the “god damn ok” face was priceless)

“I was deceived by no vision, and that Clerval, my friend and dearest companion, had fallen a victim to me and the monster of my creation. I repassed, in my memory, my whole life; my quiet happiness while residing with my family in Geneva, the death of my mother, and my departure for Ingolstadt. I remembered shuddering at the mad enthusiasm that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous enemy, and I called to mind the night during which he first lived. I was unable to pursue the train of thought; a thousand feelings pressed upon me, and I wept bitterly.” HE’S TRYING SO DESPERATELY TO LEAVE IT BEHIND AND TO REPRESS IT but now he’s left Ireland and he’s no longer feverish, the clarity washes over him and he can’t do anything except just lie there and cry over everything that’s happened AND MY POOR LAD HE CANT EVEN CONTINUE BEYOND THE POINT OF THE CREATURES REANIMATION BECAUSE THOSE FEELINGS PRESS DOWN ON HIM AND CROWD HIM AND OVERWHELM HIM AND HE JUST BREAKS INTO SOBS

And what happens after “the night during which he first lived”?

He’s saved from his own downward spiral by Clerval.

What’s he doing now?

Going on a downward spiral.

Where’s Clerval?

Dead.

“Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum; for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life. Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes, I now took a double dose, and soon slept profoundly. But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me.” And Christ above THIS LINE, not only can he now physically not sleep at night after what happened, but he’s gotten into the habit of drug use over it – which wouldn’t have been too bizarre by Victorian standards, but in the 18th century, laudanum wasn’t administered nearly as liberally and was mostly used for surgery, from what I can find, anyway. Not to mention that fact that he starts double dosing on it as the memories come back to him – his grief starts getting to the point where he’s using drug use in order to cope, but it hardly matters as his torment follows him to sleep.

“We had resolved not to go to London, but to cross the country to Portsmouth, and thence to embark for Havre. I preferred this plan principally because I dreaded to see again those places in which I had enjoyed a few moments of tranquillity with my beloved Clerval. I thought with horror of seeing again those persons whom we had been accustomed to visit together, and who might make inquiries concerning an event, the very remembrance of which made me again feel the pang I endured when I gazed on his lifeless form in the inn at ——.” THIS LINE LIVES IN MY BRAIN. RENT FREE. HOW COULD SHELLEY HAVE CUT THIS OUT OF THE 1831 PUBLICATION THIS IS SO GOLDEN DEAR LORD I ADORE THEM.

“MY BELOVED CLERVAL”

BUT ALSO AGAIN we’ve got Frankenstein trying SO desperately to forget everything, and he knows that he can’t face the people who knew Clerval or he’d break down. And I love the way this version continues on his grief to the next chapter – it’s not done and dropped, its ongoing and it plagues him, and it will plague him as long as he lives. I wonder what would happen if he did go through London, if he did meet those people again. Would things have turned out differently? Would he finally have been given a sense of comfort and clarity through mutual grief, as nobody so far since Henry’s death and for the rest of the book, except the creature, ironically, has grieved for Clerval except for Frankenstein. If he met people who took as fondly to Clerval as he did, at least on meeting him briefly, who would have sympathy towards Victor – would he finally have that space to grieve for him in a healthy way, to be comforted by people who at least vaguely understand a fraction of his anguish?

The way Victor Frankenstein BREAKS after the death of Henry Clerval is one of the most fascinating and endearing parts of the novel that completely lives in my head rent free. He spirals, he becomes ill, he becomes deeply suicidal and depressed, he begins drug misuse – and adaptations have the sheer balls to cut Clerval out of the story altogether.

…..”My beloved Clerval” HELP ME HE ACTUALLY SAID IT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[taegularities]

RIDDD 🎀🖇🩵

are you truly feeling better? ;-; a migraine is the last thing i'd wish upon anyone among list of terrible headaches, bcs i used to have cluster headaches— so i can only guess what's a whole migraine must be like ; please take care of yourself, and rest well :(

i don't know if it would be insensitive to drop the following long message here rn, but you obv have the liberty to ignore it till you feel better or as you wish. this is your domain, after all. love you.

"RUINED" : RAMBLE.

i had to drop the headcanons that's been eating up my mind bc the other day while i was taking my mock tests, my mind kept drifting off to the couple. lol. so here's a list of headcanons i had as a reader, from all the different bits of the story and the things you told us. hehe. these are mostly 'soft moments' as asked by you in that ask ( i wish i could drop the reference links, but i'm on my phone so it's hard to operate dually. however, i shall say which parts inspired what brainrot : they're from your works )

RUINED : BRAINROTS.

inspo : a!oc is the type of person who knows what she wants, her saying : two years of marriage and i still put up with the way you put the toilet paper the wrong way around. lol. her being very organized too bc she doesn't want work to pile up and focuses on her tasks in office. both of thm loving to sing

if she loves her things organized, i can see— during the beginning of their dating life, tae'd come over on a random weekend, only to find a!oc cleaning up, in her most natural state, and the mundane aspect of it would melt him. why? bcos he's the been there, done that sort of person, but not when it comes to these things. the domesticity, i mean. hehe.

also, the fact that she trusted him enough to show that side of her? :') the only reason she wouldn't stress about her look is bc she's adorably engrossed in her work and NEEDS IT DONE AND HE SAW HER IN OTHER STATES TOO 🫠

HELLO, RID. CAN YOU SEE HIM ENTERING HOME TO HER ONE DAY AND A!OC MOUTHING THE LYRICS OF A LOVE SONG TO TAE WHILE DOING MUNDANE THINGS WHILE THE MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BG?

AFTER THAT THEY COMPOSED THEIR OWN SONG OR SMTH IDK U TELL, RID!

inspo : a!oc being adorable-oc in general. her eyes having the purity even in the lewdest moments, her general love and admiration for him, original ruin you devil tango on the phone drabble 😮‍💨 a!oc loving to draw, tae in general loosing his composure around her lol

this one is loosely based on what my friend did once. so we were in a fb video call and she just randomly made a quick sketch of me on doodle. it was beautiful. 😔

since we are talking soft moments mostly, i can literally see him trying to sexually rizz her up on some video call— imagine him going like 'are you touching yourself?' or smth bc her hands are busy 🤣 but homegirl, who misses him sm and can be an adorable vixen, leads him on— only to send a quicksketch of him so beautifully done ( with artist-oc : a!oc touch 🥹 )....and can you imagine his reaction? always 'interpreting him anew' x 'you are an artist to me, okay?'

SORRY! I DON'T REMEMBER THE LINES VERBATIM!

inspo : basically, tae's protectiveness towards her, a!oc not liking to depend on people, her caring about his demons and wanting to fight his battles and these intially clashing, smex that melts you. tae : i cried, she crode. we s-crewed. ( no, rid. you never wrote that but its just a lil meme ref 😭 ) old tae and his demons.

this one is also from initial years. i think if she were to ever get injured in any way or had a scar—however minor, he'd still spend hours on those spot/s, kissing & hating himself for not being there when it happened. also, i think if she didn't tell him about such a thing/things bc it's not an issue to her, because he had sm going on according to her and didn't wanna pile on— he'd be upset. can see her making jokes about it since it's nothing to her, and him glaring at her with swimming red eyes ( just like the wedding drabble where he threatened her to never leave him ), and making similar threats to his favorite girl ( mid-lovemaking ) ☹️

you often write that before meeting her, tae's biggest flex in bed was composure. so i can literally see him shortcircuting (even during the roughest rounds), hearing her say the most loving things and her unadultered affection. the holds only bared by his urge to take care of her first like you always say.

also, i think when he first introduced her to his world of ruined tango, he was more concerned about her, than a!oc herself. can see him internally worrying, but she is the type to want it harder and more, anyway, to his constant surprise 😂 no, but seriously. suppose it's waxplay, and he knows what he's doing bc he's a pro, but it's still his a!oc 😭 no matter how much lust and control is swarming around them, his need to smear his affection on/inside her is REAL! ever love someone so much that even being balls deep in them isn't enough bc you wanna consume them whole??? and merge with their soul and being??? that's them, and it was novel for him. right?

and you said he kinda likes giving away control more now? why can i see a!oc, simply like a mini-him in some ways, just loving on every nook and crany of his being, when she first took over charge? 🥹 she must have had sm love to give him 🥹 i mean, in the past giving away control would be all about pleasure, but i think when he gave her that role for the first time, he wasn't expecting getting LOVED ON. CAN U HEAR HER WHISPERING PROMISES AND COMPLIMENTS IN THE PUREST WAYS? ( yk how she said, "well, it's true. i want it' about his 🐓 in such a harmless way? 🫠 ) whole lotsa crying, right? ....right?......RIGHT? 😭 bc it's never enough. not until they breathe. the other. in. AAAAA-

inspo : random ig reel, lol. this girl asked her bf, if her soul were to get switched with her bestfriend's, who would he pick. homeboy replied : i will take you to an exorcist 😂

imagine somebody asking her that question, but the other way around and in tae's presence— can see him tensing up bc hello, ry!jk wassup 🤩🚨 but a!oc will also pull up a "will take him to an exorcist" answer and set his demons free 🕊🕊🕊

inspo : papa!tae and mama-a!oc.

sometimes, i assume their first born is a son, then i settle for a daughter. or maybe an older brother to a lil sister. anyway, daughter is a mini a!oc. teenie tinie version of her 🤏🏻🥹 and he looks like such a girl dad at times, too.

to me—the babygirl has a!oc's eyes, his nose, and a pair of both of their lips combined, but also her father's fullness. why her mama's eyes?

BC DOUBLE HER, DOUBLE THE PEACE IN TAE'S LIFE.

imagine her wrapping that tiny chubby soft hand around his wedding ring instead of the pinky/thumb/index 🫠 he'd definitely be like : both of you women are gonna be the end of me :))))))))))))))))))))

little monet family. 🎐

it's so late at night. i resign 😮‍💨 please, recitfy me as you wish. also i forgot a lot of them, so pardon me 🫂 i couldn't articulate properly. had so much to write and tell but 🕸🕸🕸 love you, rid. thank you.

HI LOVE 🥺 i was feeling better last night and most of today haha but now the headache's coming back :')))) just why :'') it's a pretty horrible pain, but welp. and no worries babe, this isn't insensitive at all??? in fact, this is so fkn sweet?? 😭

yes, she def seems like someone who has her act together. as an office assistant, she's used to working neatly and diligently, so she'd be scolding tae for little things for sure hahaha :') ahhh the domesticity would shoot an arrow into his heart. he's never experienced such a love, you know? so to know somebody's here and his home… must affect him for sure :( they're both kind of an anchor to the other, and prove each other time and time again that they're able to show their true side. NAWH THEIR OWN LOVE SONG THO YES PLS.

the purity even in the filhiest moments is so fucking real. i don't remember if i actually mentioned that, but yes??? she's an angel, so there's some innocence in her eyes no matter what. NOT YOU USING MY QUOTES AGAINST ME IN A SKETCH SITUATION 😭 omg the confession.. you are an artist to me :') she would she would she would!!!

oh, he'd lose his shit if he saw an injury on her :( i remember my ex once crying and rushing to the hospital when i fell in the shower, and i had a lil scar on my chin (still do), and i think tae would feel similar? shedding tears and inspecting her wound and just everything :( he loves his baby and wants not a single scratch on her

omg ofc, he'd never be able to keep his chill with her hahaha no touch is ever enough. needs her melted with him <3

"i think when he gave her that role for the first time, he wasn't expecting getting LOVED ON" BABE YESS!!! 😭 maybe that's why he's so comfortable with her, too, even if he gives away control. he knows she knows what she's doing. also omg the exorcism one 😂 they're both witty so 100%.

hahaha honestly, i can't remember what i said about their firstborn or if i said anything at all, but yeah honestly both is possible!!! a boy whom he loves teaching life, or a girl who he adores with all his heart.. would definitely destroy him, along with oc hahaha that's a bit too much for his lil (big) heart :') little monet family 🥺

i hope you slept well!!! thank you so much for typing this all out??? i can't believe somebody's ready to do this for me or is invested enough in one of my stories to come up with such wholesome and long ass headcanons??? i love you fr 😭 i'm always here if you remember the others. thank you <3

[t00nyah]

What's one of your favorite songs right now?

THIS!! IS THE HOUR OF MY FAVOURITE MUSICIANS PROPAGANDA

so. so. im a big fan of BLACK DRESSES. they are my favourite band forever. and i love devi mccallion's and ada rook's own music as well!!!!!!!

SHORT ANSWER: every black dresses songs and most of devi mccallion's and ada rook's discography + the ones i mentioned riiight in the end of this post

LONG ANSWER: i CAN'T pick ONE of my favourite songs bc im INSANE about music so im just gonna drop a small list of songs that are literally playing in my head as i type this bc background music is always in my head

i do have to say quite a lot of their songs have explicit language in 'em and are usually very loud if you decide to give them a listen, like i don't doubt that it's not for everyone but just giving a heads up...i love them for making me feel like im not alone in the struggle of not fitting in with this world...plus i love the weird noises and screaming in songs lol!!!

so here's some songs from albums that are in my head rn!!!! (if you want to skip my brainrot i added non-black-dresses-or-rookor-devi music that i enjoy in the end!!!)

- BLACK DRESSES (Album: LAUGHINGFISH)

CAN'T KEEP THE KNOTS OUT DON'T FORGIVE THE WORLD I STILL SEE EVERYTHING NO DAYS OFF

- Ada Rook (Album: UGLY DEATH NO REDEMPTION ANGEL CURSE I LOVE YOU)

TRU U (I WANT TO SAY. in this song. the chorus makes me think of artificer because i have a rain world brainrot but i literally dont know how and what to do with this i just love this song)

COWARD 2 COWARD (honestly PROBABLY one of my MOST favourite songs.....ironically enough) VANISH/DOOM

also i have already mentioned on my blog but Rook's separated from her twin, a dying android arrives on a mysterious island. has a special place in my heart too and also smh vibes rain world to me idk why.... also i have another favourite in Rookie's Bustle - 920LONDON (i love this song and it made me very curious about the comic with the same name i wish i could get it...)

- Devi McCallion . lately been relistening to Fun Fun Fun, an MLP based album she released under aliases of Cats Millionaire! i love her pony songs!!! all of them!!!!!!!!

my FAVOURITE song from this one is def Exclusive Royal Canterlot Wedding Playset bc...thats how i found out about this album and it was the fact that its a chrysalis song made it 100% more special bc its such a fun song i love the allegory

but generally all the songs in this album are rn looping in my head...

also been thinking about I'm So Sorry and the song with same title from it.....it just makes me feel and i can't describe what it makes me feel but i just feel this song

also i really live Receiver!!

anyways sorry this post is so long i just wanted to brainrot about my favourite music bc I'M NOT NORMAL!!!

in addition: if you want to give something i like a listen but dont vibe with what i listed i also listen to Descend by Toby Fox (from Homestuck) on loop (this ost consists of leitmotifs only(im pretty sure???) and im not normal about that), i remember the entirety of June by American Murder Song by heart, i've been drawing an answer for my latest moon clinic ask yesterday with Ocean Breathes Salty by Modest Mouse ON LOOP. it just had THE VIBE of what it has hehe. i also recently found out that i really enjoy electro swing???? ALSO as a bonus: my favourite rain world ost is.............Grumblebum! another one would be The Coast...love the melancholic feeling of it.

[butterfrogmantis]

Wanted to expand on some of the stuff I wrote down on the religion hc post the other day + expand on the Julian stuff + … oh who am I kidding you guys know I’d just snap up any excuse to draw em rn I make no efforts to hide it /lh.

But on a serious note, the human-au specific notes;

1. Tailor develops his first crush on a classmate at the age of 10 on the boy that sat next to him during his Sunday Hebrew School; Noah Rubin. Noah was an intelligent and studious boy, Tailor finds himself coming over quite shy whenever he sees him, and he has a strange fluttery sensation in his stomach if he thinks about him … hm what could this mean?

2. Tailor talks to his synagogue’s Rabbi Levi. A compassionate and genuine man, Tailor felt safer talking to Levi even before his parents.  As expected, it was good call. They had a very genuine conversation that day about being born the way you’re supposed to be. Levi also knew Modiste and Yarner well enough to encourage Tailor to talk to them openly, which of course also goes well :)

3. The textile trio have a teenage talk some years later. All 3 discover none of them are straight and in Weaver’s case, not cis either.

4. Teen!Tailor meets a local sports star Julian Adkins. Julian is a regional champion ice skater, with the costumes to match. He’s confident, charismatic, charming … at least to begin with.

5.Yeah that smooth personality didn’t last long. Julian’s true personality comes out once he thinks he has Tailor on the hook. Selfish, manipulative, egotistical … Julian was only really after some fashionable clothes and a warm body for free. By the time Tailor got the sense to leave him it had already done some damage to both his optimism and his graduate programme, which he dropped out of due to having to see Julian on campus so much.

6. Adult!Tailor takes up his cousin’s offer to come and be their business partner in a little start up village they’ve heard about in Europe. The town could do with some clothes makers and the three think it would be an excellent start-over. Tailor thinks this might be a good opportunity to make some new friends at the very least … the villagers seem nice :)  

7. Several months after his wedding, Tailor Nudell-Cotter wrote a letter to Rabbi Levi. It mostly wished him well but also thanked him for being the first person he spoke to all those years ago, and reassured him that Tailor was truly happy where and who he was with now. He received a letter back a couple of weeks later that was genuinely proud of him. Tailor keeps the letter in his nightstand. He still looks at it sometimes.

Tailor, Spinner, Weaver (named but not design) and Farmer (c) The Smurfs

Noah, Levi and Julian are mine

[aintnowaybruhgtfo]

the best part C.S

fluff, making out, brief nudity

a/n: my second fic!! it's a small little story i was in a fluffy mood so i'm writing one of the most romantic things in my opinion. this is like my dream lmfao.

orange chris

pink y/n

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4:37 am

today was the day i have dreamed of since i was a little girl. no not my wedding but i have always wanted to go on a sunrise date with my dream boyfriend. i'm glad to say i'm finally fulfilling this with chris.

i put on my- i mean chris's favorite dark green hoodie ,that was oversized on me,on with nothing but a black bra under, along with my grey sweatpants and my sneakers. i put on my glasses knowing i didn't have the energy to put on contacts this early in the morning. i grabbed my car keys and flipped my hood over my hair to hide the fact i didn't style it.

hey ml im omw to ur house rn

should be there in about 4 mins💞

i'm up and ready baby i'll be waiting outside for u❤️

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before i went to chris's house, i picked up a chocolate donut for him and a strawberry for me along with two iced coffees. i put on me and chris shared playlist. playing my favorite song, the best part by daniel ceaser. it reminded me of chris so much.

i pulled into the driveway and he almost immediately jumped in the passenger seat.

"hello my sweet boy!"

"hi my love! you got me my favorite!"

"only the best for my baby"

"oh nice sweat shirt where did you get it"

"it's so comfy you can't blame me"

"well it looks better on you anyway"

i could tell he just woke up because his voice was still groggy. he was rubbing his eyes trying to wake up. he was wearing nike grey sweats with a purple hoodie. we shared a quick kiss as i ran my fingers through his hair. one of my favorite things about him is how he lets me play with his hair. i remember he used to be sensitive about his hair and didn't let anyone touch it. we continued to sing our favorite song by daniel ceaser.

--------------------------------------------

we arrive to our spot. he asked me out here, he apologized to me here, he took pictures of us that are currently his wallpaper here. it was a very special place to us. it was still a bit dark out as we were waiting for the sunrise. we brought blankets and cuddled up in them. i brought my speaker and continued to play our playlist. we got our drinks and donuts and shared them together.

"have i told you this is my dream date"

"only 5 times "

"stopp! you don't understand how much this means to me."

"i couldn't be happier to share it with you."

chris grazes my thigh with one hand drawing little shapes. the other hand he was stroking my cheek.

"I just wanted to say thank you"

"anything for you."

he pulls me into a kiss. his soft fruity flavored lips gently press against mine. little moans escaping my mouth. I explained to him earlier that i didn't want this to be to sexual so i knew he would just keep this at making out. i run my hands through his hair,while in passionate kissed we whisper "i love you " back and forth to each other as we slowly catch our breath. i pull my sweatshirt over my head exposing my black bra.

"i thought we weren't"

"we aren't. i'm just hot"

he left one hand caressing my cheek and the other placing his hand on my almost exposed breast.

"i can feel your heart beat"

"it gets like this whenever around you. wow you don't realize the impact you have on me do you"

"i guess i don't, but you do know you make my heart beat faster whenever i see you."

"really?"

"yeah, your the most amazing person i've ever met and i'm so glad i'm spending my life with you."

happy tears start to flood my eyes as i pull him in for another kiss with chris. he pulls me in to cuddle as we watch the sunrise and get into more conversation. i wish i could spend the rest of my life with him.

--------------------------------------------

the sunrise was the most beautiful i've seen. we took more amazing photos. we drove back to chris's house and took a nap together.

[fanaticsnail]

Omg, the anon who drove from Sweden to Turkey, I just know you are not okay. Sending hugs your way.🫂🫂🫂

Um, what was your dad thinking? Seriously, a train or myb a plane would have been better. This is just hellish for the mind.

At least I hope you are going out to sea in Turkey to enjoy the beach while I'm cooped up here in the A/C.

To the ❤️❤️ anon, I love you, I hope you have fun on your vacation. Everyone is going on vacation, while I can only go to the city pools 😭😭 I'm gonna make the blog, no worries.

I'll make myself a silly lil header for the blog.

I wish I could draw it rn but I'm at work and can't, gotta wait till I get home😭 I want the header to be Doffy holding the sign reading Physics of One Piece while Luffy sits atop the board. I actually already have a chibi Doffy I drew for myself but I can use him for numerous things like holding a sign, so now I just have to get home and draw chibi Luffy 😊 if not, I'll just make it with chibi Doffy only.

Either that or Chopper & Luffy together from a manga panel with some edits. Ugh, I love both ideas.

- physics anon

Love is in the air between physics anon, ♡♡ anon, 💕 anon and humanities anon. It will be a July wedding. You're all invited. Chef-husband will cater, I am more than happy to play violin at your nuptials.

A chibi Doffy? A CHIBI DOFFY? Can I see??? That header image is so cute!! I also love both ideas, but I am more Doffy leaning of late -> but then there's Chopper being a cutie 🤌

I get you on the desire to draw and being at work 🥹. It's just painful. The only reason I'm going on a small holiday is because my family live in the party capital of my country and I miss them dearly.

[ihopesocomic]

THERE'S SO MUCH I WANNA SAY ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER BUT..

THE POSE IN THE LAST PANEL, JUST LIKE CLEVER, THE MIRRORING?????????????????

Also I like how despite Edge's manipulative speech he DOES see potential in Hopeful. And yes Jasper's a fool :D. Granted, good thing she didn't get swayed, but I like that you seem to have stuck with that with him from what you've previously said on the blog regarding how he'd see her. Let's see how he'll react to her being mentally strong as well. (Honestly I am on the edge (lol) of my seat to know what happens next.)

God and this is such a good debut to Edge's pride. It's so uncanny to see how "different" he looks when he's smiling and all dad-like like that even when talking like some professional business, since his pride might as well be in a way, like a white-furred Simba compared to his first appearance (and obviously the fact that he's evil and not above killing others *Still sobbing over Quiet amd Clever and now whatever emotions Adamant is going through rn aaaaa* and might as well be the equivalent to a Lion mafia boss, but still, it's weird in a good way and you nailed it). I almost wanna punch that face lol. But y'all have certainly made him charming in this chapter, Imma make it a double punch with both fists in that case. You have officially made him more likable for me than he already has been, I'll always appreciate when Word of God turns into canon. Like... god I hate him but I love him already now too as a character just from this chapter, why'd y'all do this to me? xD

And omg I love Bright already, she's so childish it's honestly kinda cute even if it's to the point of immaturity. I had such a different image of her before this but now... now she seems like she'll be a fun character to see play out in the comic and is so fricking precious. I need more of her now. I wanna see how bad she can be too. Evil(?) lesbians are so damn fun to write because I've done it before because my friend's was the same simple archetype (ofc that wasn't all to it but, it's the jist) hah.

Fade... aaaaaa, others have said more about him than I can but aaaaa. The way he looked at Hopeful, what's on his mind? Hope doesn't know her lil' sis was originally gonna be wedded off to him certainly, that must be so awkward now that I think about it. He don't like this scenario one bit. Though saying anything while Edge is talking might as well be like going into the bosses/principles/etc. office knowing they're your parent at the same time and it just makes things even more unpleasant than they already are.

This got long oops sorry..

ALSO STORM???? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YA? DEFINITELY ALIVE BECAUSE YOU NEED TO BE IN THIS STORY FOREVER BUT GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AAAAAA.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT BEING LONG, it takes me a billion years to read, but its a fun billion years LOL

YES I'm so happy people liked Hope mirroring Clever haha it was a great idea presented by RJ.

Edge, while he did horrible things, does present a good case to Hope. Despite her experiences with her father and mother, she wants a pride, like many lions do, and he was able to lean into that.

And yea drawing him smiling and fatherlike was difficult, especially because I wanted to make him more vain with his expressions /but that wouldn't work/ because he's being completely honest here LOL He's not trying to trick Hope. He means what he's saying, and a villain that keeps their promises is pretty scary in my opinion. I wish I could've had Vanish and co do more, but they'll be doing more next time.

Once again I'm thrilled Bright made an impression on people. I like writing evil? lesbians too LOL Its so much fun. She is quite immature, but that'll present itself more later. I can't wait to show more of her.

And yea Fade is stuck in a hard place because his dad is actually good to him, but he's definitely hearing and seeing some things he didn't sign up for. He'll need to discuss a change in his contract.

AND STORM CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW, TRY AGAIN LATER!!

Thank you so much for your notes, I absolutely loved it LOL - Cat

[throwaway-yandere]

ansy, i match you with facess!ayato. you're welcome. /hj

honestly i am so bad at matchmaking people so i just default to someone's favorite characters. so in this case i am matching you up with dain.

no, listen.

he's so soggy for you it's giving us secondhand embarrassment. probably calls you 'light of my life' or 'my brightest star' in khaenri'ahn despite knowing that you write cannibalism and all these awesome fucked up shits (/aff).

20/10 would die for you. would also give you the heads of your enemies on a silver platter but he knows you're bad with gifts so he refrains from doing it. in exchange, he will make sure that all cockroaches that comes within five hundred meters of you will be thoroughly decimated ala raiden shogun style. L

he absolutely adores your drawings and writings, if he had a house he would totally frame them and put them up his bedroom walls. alas, the man is homeless. it's okay though, he's an expert at camping and his chest makes for a pretty comfy pillow. not as big as al haitham's but then again man i built like a brick house feeble scholar my ass-

his secret talent is reading your handwriting and he's proud of it. carries you everywhere at any time of the day as soon as he sees you sweat. man. he's so whipped. go get your man and go live happily ever after with him. don't forget to invite me to the wedding 👍🏻

- ✾

he's so soggy for you it's giving us secondhand embarrassment. probably calls you 'light of my life' or 'my brightest star' in khaenri'ahn despite knowing that you write cannibalism and all these awesome fucked up shits (/aff).

HEISIWOEOWI HELP THAT'S VERY CUTE– and also i feel like he'd be like "yeah, I've seen enough of this world that the cannibalism thing didn't bother me." HDHSJWOW–

"it's giving us secondhand embarrassment–" HDJSKS HELP–

The way you described this made me wish he was real even more 😔. I just want dain to eradicate all the cockroaches in the world is that too much to ask for.

(my genshin signature is ""feeble scholar" yEAh RiGht" rn so I agree, mfer alhaitham stop capping.)

His secret talent is reading your handwriting and he's proud of it

*sobs even more*

Help.

Don't make me fall harder for this man. I can't marry him 😭😭😭–

Ansy feels soft and will now shut down in 3... 2... 1...

[dapper-shipping-forever]

Hi I hope this isn't like... weird but I see you've got little invitations made for a wedding with Vash and I was just curious, are you going to/did you do like an actual event on this blog for that for followers to engage with? And if so how do you plan to do that? I hope this doesn't come off rude or anything I'm just curious of how that will work in terms of like... people being guests at the wedding

Hi there ! This isn't rude 🌸

I haven't yet done an event, but I am going to. Actually, rn I'm deciding what date I want to. As for the specifics of like what it's gonna consist of, I'm not sure rn. I've never done an f/o wedding. Usually I see people just make something and perhaps share a Playlist, I'm gonna do similar. I am gonna write and draw stuff for it and all that. However I do kinda want to make it somewhat interactive if people wish to actually participate. Maybe a little takeover. Also thinking of encouraging people to tag me in like an outfit or something their s/i and f/o would wear to attend, whether or not they're from T.rigun also. Something cute basically !

[prozac-shaped-urn]

once again i wrote ~2,500 words in ~5 hours with intermittent social media breaks and youtube video searches and *ahem* ~research~

the muses have been kind to me the last couple nights. i wish this will continue but i know it won't.

the downside to what's happening rn is that these scenes don't have a home yet. i have no idea where the fic is going from where it currently stands, and i hate it so i'll likely redo most of what i have so far. especially the romangerri smut because that's a big draw.

i may end up writing this whole thing and then doing a wed/sun post schedule which i have NEVER done before. but there's a first time for everything i guess.

[tethered-heartstrings]

I have too many fic idea and I can't start any of them *cry*

I don't know what to do so uhm, I'm sharing one with you if you don't mind :3

~What if Will Graham is a famous painter but he has this some sort of tendency to like, imagine or create a horrifiying gorey art (like murder or like those crime scene wed see at the NBC Hannibal) and sometimes, use blood (not human blood... Yet :) to draw his artwork.

And then there's Hannibal, who's of course, a therapist who'd apparently assigned as Will's therapist. Is he a cannibal? a serial killer? I don't know, I haven't thought about this yet :°

Basically the whole story is just about how Hannibal corrupt Will into murder. That's all I guess~

Also sorry if it's not understandable, I only have 2 and a half braincells rn so... yeah

Also wish you luck for your finals :D

I know that feeling! The idea part of it and sharing it with friends and mutuals is very exciting. I also have soooo many ideas, but actually opening up a document and *starting* it is hard.

and no worries, I understood it and don't mind you sharing at all! I think it is a really neat idea and I hope you are able to find the time and energy to execute it!

[rainbowgothdisaster]

For the artist asks, 2, 11 & 18 :3

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

in no particular order:

pokesona, the stars are falling (not posted, will be posted with this years redraw), jewel's house, sleeping jewel, jewel's bedroom (also an extra bcuz i really like it but couldn't find the compressed file to put here: be back soon screen)

i have a lot of fun drawing my pokesona, it was drawn completely using vector lines which was unbelievably enlightening

the stars are falling was first drawn back in 2020 and has become a way for me to compare how my art has developed over the years. 2020 only featured Jason (he/him), 2021 only had Zero (ey/em), and 2022 includes the former two plus Cleo (she/her, but shes bigender and also goes by Liam he/him), 2023 will include Jason and Ambe (she/her). its a way for me to basically do a benchmark test on my composition and anatomy and colours and shading. i always have a lot of fun drawing it and sometimes making whole new brushes. important note: this one was actually submitted to an art contest, sadly i lost but it was actually my first time since elementary putting my art out with the intent to be judged.

jewel's house was my first time drawing and designing a house and finding different places to incorporate hearts was literally so much fun.

sleeping jewel is just super cute and jewel's bunny hoodie is my favourite thing ever. i have it on my phone and could stare at it for hours.

jewel's bedroom is ALSO a redraw. i enjoyed trying to fit so many things in it, i enjoyed sketching, i enjoyed lining, i enjoyed colouring. though this is actually my least fav of the 5 bcuz i fully believe the idea that your art is only as good as its weakest point. that's not to say its bad or that everyone will approach it as critically as possible. not even to say that everything needs to be perfect. but when i was rendering it, i didn't want to shade. so i took a funky brush and just rushed thru shading. in fact you can see that when watching the speedpaint, i just kinda scribbled the shading. HOWEVER that doesnt take away from the fact i think the rest of it is really well done. i think i did well on the bed in particular and the fact that i stylized a real bed that we own and my actual childhood bed that i would die to get back (we owned two, mine was lost when mum and dad had to abandon my childhood home bcuz of shitty roommates and a shitty landlord) i enjoyed drawing my actual stuffed animals and my actual lolita dress. it like actually has sentimental value bcuz of all of that i just wish i did it better.

11. favourite comment you've ever received on your work?

uhhhh so like i dont usually recieve comments on my work aside from my family's "wow i could never do that" soooo well go with the comment you left on my bunny hoodie design bcuz as far as i can remember iirc it was the first time id gotten a nice comment about my fashion designs and i was really happy someone liked it bcuz im like super nervous about my silly fashion doodles :)

18. do you have any larger projects you'd like to pursue? like comics, shortfilm, a series, etc?

yes! id like House Of Misfits to be a cartoon, tho the show would probably be lighter than the short stories bcuz i don't imagine i could explore Amber's backstory on screen. im making a proof-of-concept website which is technically online and more than 70% unfinished.

i also have a coming-of-age novel i need to do research for called Saftey Blanket about a hijabi girl named Aminah in her senior year of highschool (if i made it a series wed get to see her twin siblings realize they're trans which would be fun but rn they are but lil babbies), id like to make a children's cartoon and a visual novel but i don't currently have any ideas for either.

btw despite the fact that i am an animator, i don't want to animate a show. i want to run a show. i don't actually enjoy animations longer than maybe 10 seconds.

i have a side project based around the album A Constant State Of Ohio by Lincoln that would be a very personal project around self image while having multiple personality disorders (and other problems), but i cannot for the life of me make an animatic. there's lots of ideas like this jostling in my brain, like a stop-motion animation of Through The Roof n Underground by Gogol Bordello, where i just simply cannot which i am fine with.

then theres the fact i do actually want to sew my fashion designs, at least that bunny hoodie if nothing else, and i cannot get my hands on any fabric despite owning a sewing machine

[mildcicada]

Things get worse before they get better

[jejciu]

There's like 10 days left until my bday and my parents haven't asked me what do I want yet and usually they do and since I've mentioned wanting a tablet so badly so many times now I.... Kinda wonder if they don't ask bc they already know what they r gonna get me... Like God ik i only have like half the money needed and I need 1k PLN more and its a lottttt but god...im just really.... Really really hoping....

[outrunningthedark]

I get that LS is getting extra priority from Tim because they share slot with a notable competition, but when LS gets promotional stills 1-2 weeks after start of production and has 2 episode titles registered already, it just feels disheartening. Tim is probably banking on the fandom's loyal if not "intense" nature and/or Buddie's will-they-won't-they (regardless of whether anyone view this as queerbaiting or not, their dynamic is still one of the show's main draws in fandom spaces at the very least. Am I overestimating their popularity? Highly likely) and the frustration, in a way, is a sign that fandom still cares, but Tim should realize sooner that he can't hold on to that as OG's lifeline forever. Given how this season's lack of concrete things to show other than a few stills and demo reels makes the team working behind look even more incompetent than usual, the frustration may turn into apathy real quick.

Sometimes I wished FOX never made the decision to create the first spin-off (Sorry LS fans lurking here) even though they gave us GraceJudd, Marjan, Paul, Nancy, Carlos, and Mateo. It's better to just focus on one show rather than splitting attention between multiple shows with divided outcome, but business is business.

Sorry for the long and rant-ish ask, Tina.

Nothing wrong with a rant! I welcome them! I'm willing to bet that *some* of Tim's LS push rn has been influenced by s3's ratings. It started off strong and then had weeks that were...embarrassing, lbr. Had the show been able to hold its own re: a ~5 million average just like OG, he may not have felt like his full attention is still needed even though there is ALSO a co-showrunner over there. (Let that sink in for a minute. LS has a co-showrunner and Tim is showing us he has less faith in that staff. Eep.) Your message touches on something I said a little bit ago, which is that (IMO) Tim & co. (and even FOX!) are banking on the general public to continue tuning in since 9-1-1 is part of a genre that is still extremely popular (see: the FBIs, NCIS + spinoffs, One Chicago, L&O). Sure, 4-to-5 million isn't close to the final tallies the other programs get on the night they air, but it's been the only first responder drama to watch at that time, and the key demo (18-49) is higher than the others for whatever reason(s). As for Tim getting the green light on a spinoff...I think it's a case of he and the network hoping to "strike while the iron is hot". LS was ordered in May 2019, shortly after s2 of OG concluded. In s2, the key demo never went below 1.00 (s5, by contrast, never got there), and the average viewers were well over 5 million, sometimes over six million, for all but one episode - you can view the totals here. The assumption was (probably) that the OG fan base would latch onto a new series because it's the same concept, just a different setting. And different characters. (Like..."They'll watch it because it's about firefighters and the police. Everything else is extra.") It's only been three seasons, but the shine seems to have worn off rather quickly. We're gonna find out what Tim's plan is to garner interest again. A Tarlos wedding is a good start, I think. There can never be enough happy LGBTQ+ rep for the community!