#aspen like the tree dowd

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

bernard has been back for one day. baby was made fast

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

tree baby returns. with some bernysus influence. but instead of being a vessel he's like. dionysus decides to go on vacation and has himself be reborn into some new jersey family so he doesn't have to deal with god bullshit for like. 75 years.

this au has some deep lore that will never escape my head.

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

woah tell us about the wood baby you very handsome person

why of course very handsome asker that isn't me in a trench coat

i don't actually have any info about her she's just named Aspen after the tree because of timber. why did i set up this elaborate ruse?

she's got blonde genes from on both sides, but specifically she looks like janet but with huge brown eyes. she's the child of a robin superfan and she will be dressed accordingly.

her other uncles lost rep on the baby privileges

how did they have this bay? you're gonna ask how tim "i tried to clone my bff 99 times" drake got a baby? he's trans. or test tube. idk choose your favorite answer, i know mine.

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

ref under cut

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

their wood baby descends like the princess of neo crystal tokyo

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

okay so tree baby right? Aspen (Like the Tree) Dowd. i have brain worms. but I also have to explain my Bernysus AU for it to make sense.

Basically, y'all know when tim is about to get got and bernard comes in with the whole fam to save him? well, au where bruce took like a whole minute longer to sneak up on bernard because he kept pacing so Batman couldn't do that thing where he just appears all spooky like, and tim is sacrificed.

so while the family is dealing with the cult members, bernard is with tim. but he's not alone.

Dionysus has had an eye on Bernard since he was almost sacrificed himself. he's like "hey, wanna save your boy?" and bernard ius like "yeah" so bernard carves out his own heart, gives it to tim, and now Dionysus lives in bernard's empty chest hole keeping him alive so long as he takes care of his "heart", Tim.

so bernard becomes a little morally dubious because his heart is out on dangerous missions every night and lives off of dog food slop breakfast. he's gotta fight short military manlets, assassin grandpas, and sometimes jason in order to keep him safe and sound.

and then to the tree baby worms.

so tim and bernard experience twink death and have their tree baby.

i love my little shitpost dearly. anyway, this is also a time travel set of brain worms. tim gets got, and bernard is got as a result. Dionysus crawls out of his chest cavity, traumatizing Aspen. he offers her powers to take vengeance on those who destroyed his apartment. and her parents ig.

and so she becomes a little fucked up, a little evil. tension with her grandpa, but at least two of her uncles are like "fuck yeah"

and another very helpful thing is her auntie cassie, who knows plenty about demigod shenanigans. Aspen isn;t really a demigod, but dionysus did live in her dad and she has received his blessing to call upon his powers so. close enough.

cassie, bart and kon are her three powerful uncles. strong uncle, fast uncle and girl uncle.

anyway, they try to mkeep her from going full villain becvause it's in her blood, if anything goes wrong she'll be gun batman somehow.

but really. she just wants her dads back. so she's going to break some time laws and stop her dads from getting got.

i mean. bart's on board. but the people who own the time shenanigans maguffin aren't. thanks to much meddling, they overshoot their destination by quite a bit. back when Bernard was just moving into Tim's murder shack to keep him well fed and safe. before kids was even an idea.

and from there, shenanigans.

[my-gf-timothy-jackson-drake]

they accidentally name their kid after wood and only realize what fools they are when Kon points out that their bradgelina style name is timber and bart is like that's whyh they named their daughter after the long extinct aspen tree wait- and he runs off to fact check and the trees still exist at this point in time so he doesn't know why they named her aspen.

and jason's an elementary school teacher where he inspires kids to go out and make a difference. kill a clown.

had a terrible idea for a timber baby hold on let me cook