#aspect: madness //
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there was obviously so much happening this episode. however, i don’t see enough people discussing milchick’s scene.
the way he literally is practicing using paper clips and forcing himself to dumb down his language. actually heartbreaking. his hands shaking, his voice breaking.
it’s that moment right before deconstruction of your religion where you can feel it starting to slip through your fingers, so you clench them into fists and double down on your commitment to it because without it, your entire worldview falls apart. and he doesn’t want all his years of service to lumon to have been wasted.
#seth milchick#obviously there’s commentary on the race aspect of this as well#but i don’t feel qualified to speak on that#severance#severance spoilers#mads talks
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If you saw me agreeing with being annoyed about wasted helium in a fictional context and were like "I bet she has some more helium based anger in her life" good news LAPD fucked up a raid on a medical facility they thought was a pot farm and flat out ruined thousands of gallons of the stuff.
#Back in the day the lab I worked in went through the stuff at a hell of a rate#But that was to actually do something at least#It's also fucking humiliating that a SF paper gets to write up our cops being dipshits#I am so fucking mad about both these aspects the wasted helium and that SF gets to laugh at us#I wrote a very very angry email to my city councilor but I do that like twice a week and I don't think he reads them or anything#So I suspect this one will also not move much
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part 1 of IDK where I draw DJ in the silly outfits I put them in on roblox.....
#would you guys be mad at me if I leaned more into the disco aspect of his character than the space aspect be honest#cuz the relevance disco as a genre has to her is actually so brilliant if you think about it#just indulge me for a second ok. put one of those songs on (preferably the first 2)#and ponder with me the cultural relevance that disco had for the queer community (especially the black queer community)#and think about his nostalgic factors in his entire character presentation#the music of course but the aesthetic of his district and the theming of that#now think about how disco was probably such a big part of his belonging in his youth (on top of the space themes of course#since the two are so intertwined)#and how in a way he's living vicariously through that while innovating on his own musical skill (EDM/house)#theres more but anyway#just a taste of my brilliant mind of course#nsr#no straight roads#my art#fanart#no straight roads fanart#nsr fanart#no straight roads art#dj subatomic supernova#nsr art#nsr djss#djss#>Vinyl_City_Records#>Vinyl_City_Records_REF
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My Sanford and Deimos designs, with an analysis of Sanford, Deimos, their dynamic and what they represent to me, and the thoughts behind how I designed them!! It's quite long, but even then I feel as though I'm only scratching the surface of what I think. I skimmed over Dedmos and MC12 for brevity's sake as I genuinely think it would have doubled the already very long preamble. I hope you enjoy it!
A heads up: A lot of my analysis is predicated on personal headcanons of Sanford/Deimos and Madness Combat as a whole. While I like to make my personal interpretations adhere as close to canon as reasonably possible, there are nonetheless elements I will speak about that don’t really “exist” in the series itself. I try to integrate everything that we do see in canon, however, so I hope there is still something worthwhile for you to read in here!
So. There aren’t really friends in Nevada, are there? A broken, splintered world marred by madness and violence that bloodies the very earth. Disparate grunts are forced to calcify and adapt to the harsh landscape, and thus forging social bonds has likely become a risky practice. Who’s to say your ‘allies’ won’t turn on you? With the prospect of death always so close, why be attached to someone you could lose so easily? Living communally or working together is feasible and even wise, but beyond that? I doubt anyone gives a second thought to the personal lives of one another. There’s just not enough “brain space” and “normalness” to reconnect with these mundane ideas.
Furthermore, the existence of S3LF and clones also complicates things further when it comes to individuality and existence. It’s remarkably easy to store and then copy an individual's memories and experiences - the things that arguably define and distinguish a grunt - into any other body. Are you who you say you are? Or were you never someone at all, merely an idea propagated from a file? Are there social or cultural divides between grunts and clones? Could a clone ever hope to experience the fullness of life with such a minuscule, fragile S3LF that they don’t truly ‘own’?
It’s quite evident that many facets of Nevada are almost designed to erode humanity, to prevent it from being fostered and nurtured. From anywhere between its harshness to its brutality, to the unintentional cruel designs of the S3LF. It’s a cruel, merciless world that is inhospitable to kindness, friendliness and camaraderie.
That is merely the beginning of why I find Sanford and Deimos so fascinating as characters. Even from MC5.5 alone, they are so incredibly interesting in a setting like this, demonstrating a bond that is practically never shown anywhere else.
In their debut alone, there are multiple instances of them showing mindfulness and awareness of one another. At 0:34, you have Deimos looking back at Sanford for a moment, and again at 1:09, you have the two looking at one another after clearing the room. Then at 1:16 Sanford bandages Deimos’ head while he slices through Agents, and at 1:30 Sanford boosts Deimos up to get the jump on yet more Agents. And throughout the entire episode, Deimos and Sanford almost always fight with their backs to each other, covering their vulnerable spots.
MC5.5 strongly demonstrates how well they work together and how they look out for one another when so far, the series has only shown Hank’s effectiveness on their own. While Hank and Sanford/Deimos are worlds apart in strength and aren’t really meant to be directly compared, it does establish that Sanford and Deimos, together, are a force to be reckoned with.
Then, of course, Madness Combat 6.5 only further builds on these ideas, finally giving Sanford and Deimos their signature appearances. When Sanford is shot in the torso by an Engineer, he is rendered very vulnerable and slow, and this would be the right time to drop any dead weight. A train just rocketed through, and more enemies are undoubtedly around the corner, but Deimos helps Sanford up. He has to watch over Sanford and protect him as he slowly hobbles through rooms and eventually recollects himself enough to keep fighting and patch himself back up. If anything, also a testament to their hardiness and adaptability.
Then the scene in The Rift. It’s silly and the intent of it is to be silly, especially in the context of Madness Combat and how murder-hungry everyone is, but it so wonderfully demonstrates the bantering and lighthearted demeanour between the two. Deimos seems to care about Sanford’s opinion, tossing aside things he disagrees with and happily accepting what he encourages. And Deimos is who gives Sanford his signature glasses, completing the exchange in an honestly quite charming manner.
None of this behaviour is really shown in such a positive light anywhere else in Madness Combat. Maybe Church and Jorge at best, but even then. Sanford and Deimos banter with one another, hang out with each other, say silly things and generally show a level of care and interest in one another that extends beyond just fighting. When Sanford asks Deimos if he can hack them through in MPN, Deimos replies with “Can I hack us through… C'mon, man. How long have you known me?”, a simple yet sweet line that indicates their long-standing familiarity. Then there’s the classic big kielbasa and turkey dog conversation, a very silly exchange and one that Sanford seems rather bewildered by, given by his replies. But note, Sanford never demeans or berates Deimos for his “antics” (aside from Deimos wearing an Engineer mask in MC9, but hey, there was a genuine risk of Sanford potentially shooting him there). Furthermore, it’s probably only meant as a surface-level joke, but thinking of Sanford as a big kielbasa “often” sort of shines a light on how they genuinely think of one another in silly, small ways. When you realise that’s in the context of Nevada, you realise how incredibly remarkable that is.
Further than that, you have an exchange where Deimos asks why the Nexus Core members won’t give up, and is unable to reply when Sanford says, “Would you?” It’s not either of them dismissing questions or blindly following orders. They trust each other's opinions, look to each other when reflecting on matters, and they don’t always have the answers for each other.
And lastly, at the end of MPN, where it’s just the two of them talking about a problem on a scale far larger than them. Just two guys talking about what they think, and what they could do. No world-breaking power or insanity or inhumanity. Just Sanford and Deimos.
So you have a long string of showing the bonds between Sanford and Deimos spanning across several years and a game. Then Madness Combat 9 rolls around and, well, the moment they’re forced to split because the Auditor-enhanced Engineers show up… everything is changed forever.
Deimos is gone and forced to reckon with his death through Dedmos Adventures, and while he reemerges with the help of Doc, he is no longer the same. Conversely, Sanford has to tag along with Mag Hank as they struggle in Auditor’s Hell, and Sanford ends up on his own in 12. He is pushed to the very limits of what he can endure, visibly frustrated and barely containing increasing intensities of rage. There are no more quiet moments, no more slowing down, no longer someone at your side hyping you up, making you laugh, knowing your hobbies, your history.
Sanford and Deimos were separated, split into life and death. If you consider the real world time, literal years spent apart in the worst places they’ve had to endure yet. But they came back together. Different, changed, but together once more. That final moment in Madness Combat 12, the simple act of Deimos grabbing onto Sanford’s hand before he slips, forms into such a powerful scene that shows that they would defy ANYTHING to find each other again. That their unbreakable bond will help pull each other back from the depths, even paralleling 6.5 with how Deimos helps and protects Sanford after a near-fatal injury. It’s a perfect and very moving representation of their relationship. Their bond is so incredibly remarkable and one-in-a-million and so human. All the mundane things we share with other people in our world are hardly ever seen in Nevada, and for good reason, yet Deimos and Sanford share that with each other.
The fact that Deimos and Sanford exist in a world like Nevada is so truly special. It inspires hope for what can be possible despite harshness and brutality, that there is something worth living for, that you can find strength and meaning in the grand and the mundane.
So! Onto what I currently have mangled together for my headcanoned backstory as to how Sanford and Deimos met, because it helps set the stage and give context to the meaning of some things I’ll talk about later. At some stage, Doc recruits Sanford into his cause in the early years, maybe a year or two after Doc dissents from the AAHW. He’s a very effective and useful member, as Doc often used Sanford to pry information out of grunts using whatever method was possible. Doc pushed for him to use more extreme methods at times, as Doc was still in the early stages of beginning to understand the machinations of this world. He needed any piece of information that he could get, especially if it meant getting one step closer to understanding Hank’s disappearance. Doc saw it as a necessary period in their journey, but Sanford holds a repressed but deep resentment for Doc, because it warped and traumatised him immensely.
It resulted in him becoming extremely tense, paranoid and harshly pushing grunts away. Subsequently, Sanford didn’t get along with anyone else that Doc paired him up with. Putting the trauma aside, Sanford was already a serious and withdrawn individual who disliked banter. Not the most approachable or likeable grunt. Others would quickly lose their patience with him and were more prone to desertion or disobedience. While Doc could ignore it for a while, it gradually worsened as more and more jobs required a second hand, especially when Doc needed information retrieved from computer terminals - a skill Sanford distinctly did not have.
So, recalling someone he briefly knew in the AAHW, Doc got Sanford to round up some dissented AAHW members to assimilate into their ranks. One of these members was Deimos, whom Doc recognised and personally hand-picked to work alongside him to better foster and integrate his hacking skills. Deimos was exceptionally useful for Doc despite having a pretty rocky history in the AAHW, and if anything, Doc was pretty surprised he was still alive. Regardless, Doc paired him up with Sanford after a while, and Sanford did not enjoy it. He found Deimos rather annoying and just another dumbass in a long string of grunts Doc has picked up. Yet Deimos seemed different somehow. His unflinching and incorrigible charm slowly worked its way into Sanford’s mind, especially when he realised he actually enjoyed the guy's company. Deimos showed an interest in the hobbies that Sanford was usually mocked or looked down on for, and while he was a little careless, it felt nice to watch out for someone rather than watch another self-important idiot rush ahead.
Deimos further garnered Sanford’s interest when he learned a bit more about his insecurities and doubts, learning that clones exist. Sanford has questioned his existence in certain ways, regarding his own blood-stained hands with conflicted contempt and satisfaction, but this? Deimos telling Sanford that he isn’t sure that he’s alive, that he’s actually a ‘person’? That he’s lost, scared, clueless, alone? Sanford’s never cared for much before, living in this half-dissociated, emotionally distant state, but something stirs when he tries and kind of fails to comfort Deimos in that moment. He… cares. For something. For someone. A cold fortress that Sanford has built for so long, slowly opening itself to the idea of wanting someone. The pain and trauma remain, and it will never go away, but there is a new reason to get up in the morning. To look forward to something.
From that day on, an understanding began to form between the two, bringing them closer and closer together. To the point that Deimos starts glimpsing the cracks in Sanford’s facade, worming his way in closer and closer, chasing the rare smile and laugh that Deimos can elicit from him. Sanford is the first time he’s ever felt stability, kindness, patience, acknowledgement. But he realises it's not just that, it's not just chasing something to fulfill something he’s always wanted but never got, it’s because he likes Sanford. Roaming the wastelands of Nevada alongside Sanford has given him joy like he’s never known. Knowing that Sanford has got his back, and that Deimos can help, and truly mean something… It’s like something clicked one day.
Summarising/simplifying it, Sanford is like stability. Serious, steadfast, put-together and a leader. The trauma of doing what had to be done and hating yourself for it. For the kindness you could have had. The peace you lost or perhaps never knew. Forced to adapt and harden yourself, but the stress never truly went away. The fear and worry you have for your loved ones. The paranoia of losing them, witnessing the mortality of those dearest to you. But finding love and joy again in the people around you, letting someone touch the part of you that you swore you’d never let be hurt again. And you feel kindness and love and joy in the silly things again, thanks to Deimos.
With Deimos, it’s smiling despite how the world has hurt you, set you up to fail. The vices you adapt to cope, but there remains a desire to do better, to be better. The yearning to be something more, to be someone else, but you can only ever be the best version of yourself. Wanting to be loved and yet not loving yourself, neglecting your body and mind. But having someone so patient and steadfast in their love for you just makes you feel so thankful. I’m sorry I relapsed again. Do you still love me? And Sanford does. He always will. The passion and joy you hold close to your heart, that you will never let anyone take away from you, living carefree and silly.
Okay! Now to the actual. Design talk, jesus christ. Let’s begin with the general shape language of the two and how they’re specifically designed to contrast and complement one another.
Deimos is comprised of rounder shapes, is on the smaller/shorter side compared to Sanford, and is a little scruffier and messier in appearance. He’s lean but not skinny, well-defined in the legs and in generally decent shape considering his lifestyle (a lot of snacks). This is paired against Sanford’s much broader and larger stature, sporting well-muscled arms and the repetition of more rounded square shapes. He’s tidy, well-groomed and maintains his body and scars very well. While I didn’t push their poses too hard here, they also further establish and contrast their personalities. Deimos has a more open and overconfident pose while Sanford stands a little more rigid and alert, and is the only character to be looking to the right rather than the left.
Sanford has heavy-set, thick eyebrows that help convey a stern seriousness to him, but when his expression looks gentle and warm, they accentuate a certain charming quality that I think he has. While his face can look grave and even frightening, Sanford can also look quite gentle and sweet, and I think the eyebrows really help with that.
Sanford has a lot more scars because he’s been employed and working for Doc a fair bit longer than Deimos, and he ends up fighting hand-to-hand more often than him. Deimos is longer range, handles hacking/communications and is usually doing more runner-esque jobs. He sometimes trips and scuffles, especially because his bag is so heavy, hence why he’s got all those little bandages on him. I like to think Sanford is the one who patches him up.
I ended up not integrating every scar into their designs because a lot of them are incurred around MC9, which is sort of like the “cutting off point” for when shit goes south. Deimos becomes Rockmos, and Sanford becomes owww my eyes! So it doesn’t make a ton of sense to have them, so I only kept the ones from before MC9. Besides the stab wound on Sanford’s torso, I just liked how that one looked.
When it came to designing their clothes (or well, designing my take on them; this time I’ve not really added anything that didn’t already exist for either of them) my main philosophy was that Sanford was more practical and uniform-esque in his attire, whereas Deimos is more sloppy but radiates a lot more individuality.
Everything that Sanford wears has a specific purpose, from the belts on his pants acting as anchor points for his hook to the bandolier on his chest and his thick, heavy combat boots. The only real “personal” details are his bandanna (which I use to accentuate his expressions), his teashades (which were more or less given to him “by” Deimos), and his hook (which is a weapon, but nonetheless one he seems attached to/is a recurring tool for him). As well as the tattoo on his back, but I’ll touch on that later. When it all comes together, it illustrates Sanford as someone who is prepared and capable, but very serious and with few personal touches.
Conversely, Deimos is covered with various bits and pieces that are personal to him, whether modified by himself or simply worn in a particular style to reflect what he likes. Smaller examples of this are his uneven socks and his untucked shirt that has a few stains and rips.
His shoes were directly based on the live-action design, as I think this is a fantastic portrayal of Deimos’ personality. From the little artistic doodles to the likely bored number markings, to the silly labels distinguishing the right shoe from the left shoe. The cigarette at the heel with the clusters of grunts and Jeb feels oddly endearing, like Deimos was inspired by a moment in MPN and wanted to draw it. The fire drawn along the base of the shoe is adorable, and the EAT IT at the front with BYE BYE at the back is so wonderfully vindictive and mischievous it’s amazing.
And the star of the show, at least to me, is Deimos’ radio backpack. One thing I think I could have done better is add more charms onto it, but I’m sure I can add a ton more down the line when I get some ideas, cus annoyingly I don’t have too many. I always imagine the bag as going clink clink clink whenever he walks, and I dunno, it's cute and I think Deimos would cram as much as possible onto his bag to reflect both his interests and so he doesn’t get bored.
Regardless, the backpack is like his lifeline of usefulness to SQ, but leaving it the way it was when Doc gave it to him was so lame. Deimos wanted to give it his personal flair, attach pieces of his life to it, make it truly “his.” Many of the little buttons and stitches were done by him and reflect members of the SQ, like the smiley on Hank’s shirt and the fishing lure for Sanford. Where’s Doc, then? Well, I would like to think I can design something specific for him on Deimos’ bag, but he actually helped with the big patch on the backside of the backpack. If you look closely, it has the same stitch markings as the ones on Doc’s jacket. Deimos really struggled with getting it on, and Doc came over like, you made this? And Deimos replies with a stilted, uneasy “yeah.” When Doc hands the bag back to him, he goes, “It’s pretty funny. Not bad.” and I like to think rare praise from Doc makes him feel warm.
Krinkels has said Sanford’s tattoo doesn’t have a specific meaning, and I would like to give it one, but I haven’t gotten any ideas yet. Despite that, Deimos’ tattoo actually does, although it's not super complex or deep. I personally enjoy the headcanon that clones are coded with a tattoo-like marking that usually appears on the neck, but sometimes can appear on arms or legs. But Deimos didn’t want Sanford to remove or draw over it entirely; instead, he retained it as a reminder of who he was and how he wouldn’t hide from that reality, but he would move forward from it. To that point, the arrow underneath. To fly forward, guided by the sturdy bowstring, carefree and unbound by the wind. And the red bolt? Well, that’s a personal detail I’m a little shy about explaining, but I at least think it adds a nice little accent of colour.
Smaller notes:
Deimos’ thumb gradient is darker because he specifically lights his thumb more than any other digit. I think he could light other digits, but it takes more effort and focus. He generally thinks doing a thumbs up is funnier, and it’s easier to light a cig that way.
The multiple bullet scars on Deimos’ stomach are meant to parallel his injuries in MC9, but they’re not the same for the reasons I mentioned earlier. This similarly applies to a scar that Sanford has on his right hand, referencing when he was shot in MC9.
I removed the front belt from Deimos’ backpack because I liked his shirt and coat being unobstructed, and it let me properly show the drawstrings. I also liked the idea that he can remove the heavy bag in dire situations. While Doc probably thinks the tech inside Deimos’ backpack is more valuable, perhaps it has a self-destruct function that Deimos can remotely activate. Retrieving someone from the Other Place is also probably more resource-demanding and time-consuming anyway. I might change it, but for now, I like this version.
I quite like mist-lightning-snap’s paw and claw headcanons for grunts, so I applied the same principle to Deimos. As to Sanford? Who knows… maybe those black nails can pop out into claws?
#madness combat#_myart#_text#madness combat sanford#madness combat deimos#i think i could have spent more time on some aspects but i've been working on this for much longer than what i'm used to#my brain needs a palette cleanser but i'm really glad i got this completed and that it mostly summarises my current thoughts#arghh im die okay thank you for reading you are awesome
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Suguru Geto would love a clumsy partner- especially Yandere!Suguru- not because he wants you to trip or anything.
No, he likes to guide you through crowded places. His hand will settle on the small of your back or he will hold your hand as you two walk through the streets of Tokyo.
It means a lot to him to have you trust him enough to let him guide you. Suguru feels needed when you let him take the lead. He backs off if you want him to but it makes him melt to see you trusting him.
Suguru loves it when you lean on him.
#he also likes the protective aspect of it#this is self indulgent#I am not even going to deny that#jjk x reader#jjk#geto x reader#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#blue’s mad ramblings
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I think at some point durin post canon darry comes to the realization. Jesus fuck. Pony actually DOESNT know I love him. he's been just assumin the kid knows that. that he could never actually think darry doesn't love him. n then in that hospital. he's holdin his baby brother shakin in his arms n he realizes. my god. he doesn't know. at the same time his kid brother is burrowed into his shirt n thinkin. Jesus christ. how could I have not known.
#i think he becomes a lot more intentional about TELLIN him#pony i love you#in every aspect of their lives he has to make sure he never forgets again#first thing in the mornin#n before bed#when hes mad enough to spit nails#n when he feels sick with all that love#he cant let him think that theres ever anythin in darrys heart but love that tears at him every day#sigh#my boys#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis#darry curtis
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the way the yj team encouraged Shauna to be violent has massive effects on her character. She’s forced into a violent role for so much of their time in the wilderness that it ends up becoming a coping mechanism. They all are surprised when she (who they appointed as butcher, after her best friend died while pregnant) turns to violence but they actually encouraged her behaviour.
For example: when her baby died Lottie tells Shauna to “let it all out, we need you.” And let’s Shauna beat the shit out of her. It teaches Shauna (who was already In an incredibly fragile mental state) that the way to subside her pain is to hurt others.
They unintentionally force her into this violent, gruesome role that she eventually starts to enjoy since it’s her only outlet.
in some ways I think she misses Jackie so much because Jackie was the last person to treat her like a person and not an animal. When shaunas anxious or upset Jackies first instinct is reassurance and playful teasing. Which sometimes causes the situation to become worse but also allows Shauna to relax. she isn’t offered gentle reassurance or companionship after Jackie dies. The closest she gets it’s taissa, who was struggling with her own problems, but ends up inadvertently making Shauna feel alone and scared.
They expect her to carry out all these gruesome acts (butchering Javi, Attempting to Kill Nat during the first hunt, etc.) and don’t stop to wonder how this effects her because she DOES end up enjoying it.
#yellowjackets#shauna shipman#this isn’t even Shauna glazing I just think this is what happened#Trust you should know that I’m the first person to get mad at shaunas actions in the show#But I find it interesting to see her motivations#As many don’t see her as a character with motivations#Just someone who enjoys senseless violence#Which in some aspects is true#But I like to focus on why she enjoys violence#Many complain about her personality jump between s2 and s3 but that was always where her character was going to go#FYI: taissa was trying her best to be there for Shauna I do not blame her it’s just an example#Taissa and shaunas friendship was very dear to me#This post is s2 centric kind of#I’m not really blaming the team either#They were all in a very difficult situation#lottie matthews#jackie taylor#taissa turner
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Have you ever considered solaxl yuri :3?
i like the way you think…
#guilty gear#sol badguy#axl low#solaxl#freezy answers#art#suggestive#when you see a beautiful butch lesbian but it’s just sol badg— oh shit#i can’t even lie i thought of femaxls tanline before any other aspect of her design LOL#making these designs was pretty fun :]#‘chief… would you be mad if i hypothetically shagged a really hot girl version of you’#‘what.’
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super late night doodle, shoulder started protesting so this is as far as i'll go for now 😩
good night
#transformers#maccadam#transformers one#tf one#megatron#rkgk#wip#⋘ 『 ─ noms' art; 』 ⋙#i'm a little mad at myself because i actually like the tiny chibi(?) thumbnail version more than the actual drawing 🙃#she don't look too bad despite my first time drawing tf one megs so i'm somewhat proud of that aspect at least
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He’s like the worlds shittiest Madonna to me
#shoutout to that one piece of historical text that was ‘Prussia is a sort of hermaphrodite’#like okay wooork you weird freak of a military with a nation#shit a slightly more unstable Ludwig would have displayed in his room after his beloved brothermother dies#hws prussia#hetalia fanart#hetalia#gilbert beilschmidt#i was told that I should tag my actual stuff in the first five -w-#I have too many things to say… or2#honestly half the stuff I draw is shit an unstable Ludwig would have commissioned to decorate the halls of his sprawling lonely manner with#the yearning for his brothermother in a cute Freudian way#I love psychological horror so that aspect of him is so interesting to me#I wanna dissect them both <3#Gil deserves to have statues made of him but none of them should be in any way masculine#but statues made in his honor the same way they portray a goddess of fertility#or like Nike that would be badass too#digital art#my art#this is my first time doing holographic coloring#i like it :)#mother of pearl for a mother#he looks like he’s doing the just right meme 👌#if I gave this thing a base it’s guaranteed that Lud would be curled up on it sobbing on really bad nights#like in a mad Victor Frankenstein tortured poet way#with lightning and thunder and fluttering shadows from long curtains in the background
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I am glad vat7k never became a thing because a) Disney sucks balls b) shit would’ve been SO cishet due to its proximity to a major Disney franchise and c) the fanon is so much fun.
However, it would be funny if it did exist so that I could ignore it the same way I do tts canon.
But like, the fandom doesn’t really do Nuru justice (I’m guilty of this too) and I know FOR A FACT that Disney would be worse about it. Also, I’m deathly afraid of how anything interesting about Varian would have likely been ignored for the sake of keeping this shit sanitized.
Basically, I have zero desire to see a pg, squeaky clean, marketable vat7k. Therefore, I am quite pleased that the concept and characters were just thrown to the fandom as a little treat.
And if you do want pg clean vat7k, that exists too! But I can be held no higher than the exploratory shit that a lot of us get up to.
Essentially, fandom free for all = cool. Making vat7k canon = most likely increased discourse over what headcanons and interpretations are valid as if we don’t already have enough of that.
Also Kay and Anna don’t really have any interest in making it anymore so why are some of yall still pushing
#varian and the seven kingdoms#vat7k#just some ramblings#feel free to disagree but I’m not budging#if any gnc aspects of the fandom bother you I suggest you touch some fucking grass#if dress Varian makes you mad go take a walk outside#if any transness in the fandom bothers you stfu#if you hate Varigo block the tag and me and any other Varigo blogs
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like I do think we need to acknowledge that being asexual can suck. I'm proud to be queer and I'm happy for everyone whose experience is different but for me, specifically, being asexual sucks. If I had the choice, I would change this about myself. The ways in which it affects my life are frustrating and upsetting to me and it's not just a question of accepting myself or 'coming to terms with' who I am, it is a very real impact on my interactions and relationships with other people, my existence in my community, and what the rest of my life will look like. I think it's important to talk about this not only in the context of the very real discrimination and exclusion that asexuals experience as a consequence of acephobia but also just the frustration of having so many choices and experiences taken away from you just because of your orientation
#dottie rambles#vent post#like it sucks!!!#it's hard to accept that there is this whole huge aspect of human and interpersonal experience that you just don't get to have#and depending of where you fall on the spectrum and your personal experience of asexuality#this will be different for many people and that's okay#obviously i am not mad at people who do not feel this way#but for me it is still very hard and only seems to get harder#the more i learn about myself and who i am and what i want
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30 years went by and I still thought about you
#madness combat#_myart#madness combat oc#oc: zero#2bdamned#vaguely embarrassed but its fine ahaha (walking in circles)#i don't really want to exaggerate and misrepresent the yearning aspect as being like. too overly romantic cus its like...#idk complicated to explain. several layers of feelings going into this and its not straightforwardly “romantic love” its#familiarity. comfort. closeness. where both parties don't expect it to be. where they think it shouldn't be. but they both realise in their#own degrees of perception that they want it but shouldn't have it. but they come back to each other anyway and these feelings brush past#again and again. on top of more complex layers of handler/operative and mortal/Strange Concept Thing and their history with the loop#and hank.
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ok well i might be up to something. really hate how dramatic the title is but it needs something lmao
i promise ill put like a glossary or something on this one. So if it mysteriously also takes off (it won't) i won't get one billion questions (but i won't because it's not a funny little game this time and way more actually geared toward ocs lol)
#red rambles#weaponmaker and toolmaker are like. when you have a problem whats your approach#it could also be described as 'guy with a hammer' vs 'guy with a multitool'#or 'guy who gets mad at problems loudly until they give up' vs 'guy who can solve puzzles'#whereas only sees friends and only sees enemies is. well. are you paranoid. are you overly trusting. are you in the middle#i dont like how narrow all the sliders are but thats the aspect ratio i have#also theyre not even sliders.#i prolly should put something a bit more extreme for the opposite of center of the world#but its hard finding something that fits in the space that also works#wordingwise that is#but its like. center of the world is Im The Only Person Ever#the opposite of that is Everyones Persons Idiot Lets Get You Some Fruit#and 'everyone' is too long to fit.#so it curtails me.
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I'm actually quite mad they showed us everyone finding out except for Eddie. Like. Please, Bobby is just as important to him as the rest of them. Bobby has been there for him and understood him in things that nobody else has. He was there with Shannon. He was there throughout season 5. He was there with the Chris in Texas stuff. Bobby is just as important to Eddie as any of them, maybe even more than some of them. And we didn't even get a glimpse of him finding out.
#but we saw Tommy#that isn't the point of this post but I am kinda mad about us seeing him (in an episode where he's still basically a plot device)#and not eddie#Ik we'll see at least some aspect of it next week#I'm sure of it#But I will be writing my own fic where he finds out because I cannot let that stand#Eddie diaz#911 spoilers#bobby nash#evan buckley#buddie#I will be writing. a lot. in the next two weeks about this#911 8x15#911#911 abc
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my turn making my friends watch smth and it was wakfu (said sounding scared to death), so heres a yugo ig
#for context my friends are not judging me- im just scared theyre not gonna care abt it ig. this show is so important to me but its also#not for like two people in their twenties#“why didnt yugo being proficient in cooking show up more?” my friend asks#THATS WHAT THE HCS ARE FOR!! PLS UNDERSTAND!!!#but also ankama What#also ankama WHY#core of wakfu? awesome. some aspects of it are um. they exist#anyways heres yugo#wakfu#wakfu yugo#wakfu spoilers#wakfu season 2#wakfu season 1#believe it or not im STILL mad they didnt make his wings as expressive as his hat made them out to be
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