#asking which answers you chose and then which dialogues you got

[tumblezwei]

If I was crazy I would go and make a spreadsheet of which responses people gave to Acheron at the beginning of the story mission and see if that correlates to the different red text responses she gives later down the line.

Because if it hasn't been pointed out to you yet, Acheron has different responses in red text depending on some as of yet undetermined factors. The one you most likely heard of is her differing response to Trailblazer about someone she remembers based on whether you're using Caelus or Stelle. But APPARENTLY, she also has several different responses for each of her red text dialogues which are not based on the gender of Trailblazer. And some of them being complete opposites of one another.

Thankfully I'm not crazy and I wouldn't do that.

[marauder-misprint]

Ahhh congrats of 500!!!

For the dialogue prompts, could I request #52 “what do you want from me?” with any (or all/poly) of the marauders? Maybe some miscommunication tropes and some good old hurt/comfort with a happy ending?

Thank you for the request! This could've been like 1.2k words but I started writing the build-up and I like it too much ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

I don't write for poly so I chose James - Hope you enjoy!

Your death wish

James Potter x reader

3.2k words

cw: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst

It was an extraordinary day when James realized he did not love Lily. He loved the version of her that he created in his head and fantasized about, which was not the real girl. It turned his world upside down. He sat on his bed alone, with the curtains drawn and staring straight ahead. There wasn’t a thought in his head. 

You were sitting with your friends in the common room and after a while, you really noticed that James wasn’t there. At first, you thought maybe he was at a quidditch practice you forgot about or something, but all the other players were around. As was Sirius, so that knocked out detention since one rarely had it while the other didn’t. You turned toward the Marauders.

“Oi, where’s Potter?”

“Dorm? Dunno. Not here,” Sirius answered, staring at the wizards’ chess board in front of him. He slowly reached out and moved one of the pieces.

“He had a thought and it fried his brain,” Remus said.

You looked at Peter, hoping he’d give you a better answer. 

“He’s having an existential crisis and won’t come down,” he said before moving one of his chess pieces. “Checkmate, Padfoot!”

Sirius swore loudly. “Moony, you play him! Sick of losing…” 

You rolled your eyes and looked at the stairs. So James was theoretically up those stairs in possible need of a friend and his closest two were trying to beat the third in chess and failing. You got up and went to their dorm. You stood outside the door for a second before knocking. 

No response.

So you knocked again and called his name. Still no response. When you knocked a third time with another call of his name and no response, you opened the door and entered the room slowly. 

You tried not to gasp at the state of the room. It was like a tornado had come through and instead of cleaning up the wreckage, the boys simply made paths from their beds to the bathroom and the door. But, only one of the beds had its curtains drawn so you approached that one. 

“James,” you sang as you stood next to his bed.

There was a noise that sounded something like a grunt and a groan. You gripped the curtain before realizing the slight risk of opening it.

“Are you at least semi-decent?”

“Mhmm.” 

A response you recognized! You smiled as you threw the curtain open and were met with another grunt-groan. James recoiled into himself at the sudden light. 

“What’s up with you, Potter?” you asked, leaning against the bedpost at the foot of his bed. “Lupin said you had a thought and it fried your brain.” 

Once again, you were met with silence. You sighed as you scanned the room. You didn’t see what you were looking for. You crouched down to look under his bed. There it was: James’ broomstick. You grabbed it. Standing up, you slung it against your shoulder and headed for the door.

“Well, if you don’t mind me borrowing this, just stay in bed,” you said casually.

As soon as you were outside the room, you broke into a run. If James took the bait, you needed your head start. 

For a moment, James didn’t move. It took him a second to get out of his head and process what had just happened. Then, he was swinging his legs on the bed, pulling on his shoes and sprinting after you. 

When you reached the bottom of the stairs and bolted towards the portrait door, Remus said, “She’s mad, that one.”

Peter laughed. “More like a death wish!” 

The thundering footsteps of James and the expression on his face only confirmed the reason for the boys’ comments. It was common knowledge that no one touched James’ broom. You were no exception. 

You didn’t stop running until you heard the faint slam of the portrait and the Fat Lady’s scolding. 

Turning around briefly, you hollered, “Come and get me, Potter!” 

And then you were off again. You kept running until you were outside. Then, you were mounting the broom and kicking off. James was faster than you on foot, but with the advantage of your head start and his broom, there was no way he’d catch you. You flew to the quidditch pitch and did a lap. Then you went to the goal posts. With careful finesse, you jumped to the hoop and perched yourself on it, holding James’ broom across your lap. 

When James made it to the pitch, because where else would you have gone with his broom, he stopped in the locker room and grabbed your broom from storage. He stalked onto the pitch and scanned the air before spotting you in the goal post. 

“I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU!” he yelled.

“Got to catch me first,” you responded with a wicked grin. 

James mounted your broom and kicked off the ground. You only had a few seconds to remount his broom and take off. You led him over the Forbidden Forest. Whenever he got close to catching up with you, you dipped below the canopy. Something about the chase made you cackle, especially when you heard the thwack of a branch hitting James and the following string of swears.

Eventually you came across a small clearing. You slowed down and slid off the broom in a graceful dismount. James didn’t see you stopped and overshot the clearing. Once he circled back and landed, he lunged at you. You were backed up against a tree with his hand gripping your clavicle. 

“What the hell were you thinking!” he growled at you.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face, which only made him angrier. 

“I was thinking that you needed to get out of that pretty little head of yours. See, you’ve gotten out of bed, left your dorm and gotten some fresh air!”

His facial expression softened but his grip stiffened.

“So, what had you down?”

He sighed. “Just a reality check.” He paused. “And now I have to see what’s actually real.” 

Your smile twisted as you looked up at him.

“Your flying skills are real. As is the thrill of a chase,” you told him, earning a dry chuckle from him. “But, uh, Potter, you either gotta slug me or kiss me if you’re going to keep holding me like this.”

His face flushed a brilliant red as he gently let go of your shoulder and took a step back.

“Ah, erm, sorry. You did take my broom though,” he said, stumbling through his words. 

You shrugged. “A means to an end. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“You really think you deserve a thank you for thievery?” he chortled in disbelief.

“Uh, yeah. What’d your other friends do to get you outta your funk?” 

He didn’t answer.

“They were playing chess, Potter. Chess.” You took a step towards James and pressed a finger to his chest. “I took action.” 

“How ‘bout this: I’ll buy you a butterbeer?” 

Your smile grew.

“That’d be great. Shall we go now? Don’t feel like heading back to the castle just yet.” 

He nodded and you swapped brooms with him so you were each riding your own. Madam Rosmerta gave you both a strange look when you entered the Three Broomsticks. While it wasn’t uncommon for students to sneak out of the castle when it wasn’t a Hogsmeade weekend, it was rare for them to enter with brooms. 

Rosmerta was already pouring two mugs of butterbeer when James called out, “Can we put it on my tab?” 

“Only because I know you’re good for it,” she said as she slammed the mugs down in front of you.

James laughed. “You won’t serve me again until it’s paid off, I know, Rosmerta.” 

As you talked and drank your butterbeers, James decided that his friendship with you was real. More real than anything he had with Lily.

---

From that moment, you noticed a shift in James. The biggest change was he stopped asking Lily out, but there were other smaller changes. You grew closer with him and you swore that how he looked at you changed. It was softer, kinder and filled with… admiration? You didn’t tell anyone about this, nor did you tell anyone about the growing feelings you had for him. Whenever you saw him slipping into that funk, you threw whatever was in your hands at him and told him to take a flight. He usually listened. 

Then there was a particularly rough quidditch match against Ravenclaw. Gryffindor lost. The locker room was tense and no one was talking. The rest of the team showered and headed back to the castle in silence. You lingered a little bit after your shower to see if James wanted to walk back with you, but he seemed to be attempting to use all of the water in Hogwarts. You walked back alone and waited for him in the common room. 

When James finally came up, the entire room quieted. He didn’t look at anyone. He stared straight ahead with a blank expression as he marched directly to the stairs. You frowned as you got up to follow him. 

“Still has that death wish, I see,” Sirius muttered while giving the boys a sideways glance.

You were only a few steps behind him, but by the time you reached his dorm, he had already slammed the door shut and was laying face down on his bed horizontally. You carefully took the path to his bed, sitting at the foot of his bed near James’ head. 

“James,” you whispered, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He grunted. “It’s not the end of the world.”

He lifted his head just enough to not muffle his voice. “Love, we lost. We’re not undefeated anymore.”

“So what? Now we have something bigger to train towards. Plus, we still have the best record.” 

He turned his head to look at you. You responded with an unimpressed look.

“Sit up, James. Up, up, up. We are not moping.”

Reluctantly, James rolled onto his side and then sat up, leaning against his headboard while you still sat at the end of his bed. He scooted over before patting the spot next to him. You climbed to the top of the bed. Then, as if reading each other’s minds, you rested your head on his shoulder so he could rest his head on yours. 

“You can be upset we didn’t win. Don’t bring down the entire house with your attitude though,” you told him in a soft voice. “You know younger students look up to you and they see how you handle losses. And, well, monkey see, monkey do.” 

You felt him nod. You sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Then he moved. It was subtle at first with slow, small movements. His hand reached yours and held it. You didn’t move. Your heart started to beat quickly.

“Maybe… maybe I can have one win today then?” he asked, his head still resting on yours.

“Yeah? What would that be?”

He lifted his head and looked down at you.

“Would you want to be my girlfriend?”

---

James did have a win that day and he considered himself to be winning every day since. He laughed at himself for all the time he spent yearning for a fictional Lily when you were there the whole time and you were real. The boys constantly told you that you had a death wish but you both knew that they liked how you affected each other. 

You were heading up to the boys’ dorm to study with James for your 7th year finals. The door was cracked open, voices drifting into the stairwell. 

“I need to, Padfoot. I have to think about the future. I can’t leave Hogwarts and have a girlfriend.” 

“Prongs, I get it. But what if you’re rushing it?” 

“I’m not. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. It’s something I have to do.”

James was speaking with such conviction. You felt like someone sucker punched you. You wouldn’t breathe. You thought James was as in love with you as ever. Everything was going good. Great, even. You were so goddamn happy with him and here he was, talking to Sirius about breaking up with you? You couldn’t walk into that dorm. Instead you turned around with your books hugged to your chest. 

You still had to study for your finals so you went to the library. You found an open spot at the long tables in the middle of the library. Usually, you would have opted for a more secluded table. You hated working in open view, but you knew you had to. If James came looking for you, he wouldn’t dare break up with you in the middle of the library. You were safe for now. 

The afternoon slipped away from you. Your studying wasn’t progressing as well as you had hoped. Your mind drifted back to James every few review questions, every few notecards, every few pages. Rather than memorizing spells and potion ingredients, you questioned every part of your relationship from the past year and a half. Every conversation, confession and shared joke was put under scrutiny. What changed? 

You didn’t leave the library until Madam Pince kicked you out. You didn’t pause to see who was in the common room when you got back to Gryffindor Tower; you went straight to your dorm. You put your books away and got ready for bed silently. 

James was in the common room when you got back. He stood up as soon as he saw you enter the room. He almost called your name, but you were on a mission to disappear. He slumped back into the airchair he had been sitting in. You were supposed to meet up with him to study earlier, or at least he thought you were. He could have sworn you agreed to meet in his dorm hours ago, but apparently you had studied elsewhere without him. 

“Ooo, someone’s in trouble,” Peter teased. 

James glared at him. He assumed Peter was correct but didn’t want to admit that out loud. Not when he had no idea what he could have done to upset you. You always met in his room to study, and if you had made plans to study elsewhere, you would meet in his dorm first and then go study. And certainly, one missed study session wouldn’t piss you off that much. 

But maybe he was wrong. The following days, your demeanor changed. You didn’t touch James as much. You still sat next to him and walked with him and talked to him. But there was something off about it all. He just couldn’t put his finger on why you were acting this way.

“Maybe she’s stressed for finals? I am,” Remus offered at one point.

James shook his head. Stress for finals would be understandable, but you’d talk about it with him. You always talked about your struggles with him. You were a team. 

He was about to lose it when you did everything in your power to avoid being alone with James. You figured that if he could never get you alone, he couldn’t break up with you. You knew that you were only delaying the inevitable, but putting it off was all you could think to do. You would study and pretend like everything was normal, okay, just fine until after finals. Maybe after graduation. Then James could leave you and Hogwarts in his past in one fell swoop. You believed you were doing him a favor. 

When the weekend before finals arrived, you hid yourself in the deepest corner of the library that you could find and built a wall of study materials around you. You had disappeared into the library without anyone seeing you leave and you were certain that no one saw you come back here. Most of all, you needed to really work on your Transfiguration wandwork and you wouldn’t be as productive in the middle of the library. Your secluded corner was what you needed to ensure the grades you seeked. 

“Love, there you are!” James’ cheery voice reached you from behind your pile of books and old assignments. 

“What do you want from me?” you asked, a bit snippy yet your voice was sad. 

In a moment, you had gone from studious bookworm to pitiful mess. Finals were just around the corner. You could not handle a breakup right now. 

James stared at you with wide eyes. He approached you slowly, coming around to your side of the table to crouch beside your chair. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You let out a dry laugh. “I overheard you talking to Sirius. I know what you’re going to do. I just… I can’t handle it before finals.”

Your words hit James like a stack of bricks. He immediately knew which conversation you were talking about, which left him confused and slightly hurt. He ran a hand through his hair before reaching for your hand. Every inch of you was screaming to pull your hand away but you let him hold it. 

“I… I wasn’t going to do it before finals,” he whispered with a frown. “You don’t want to?”

You felt tears beginning to gather in your eyes. How could he be so dense?

“James, I love you. You know I do. Why on earth would I want to break up?”

James suddenly lost his balance and fell onto the floor. You stared at him, gaping as he laid on the ground and didn’t make any move to get up. His head was spinning at what you said, what you thought you overheard. After a moment, he propped himself up with his elbows.

“Who said I was going to break up with you?”

“You did? Said you had to think of the future. You couldn’t leave Hogwarts with a girlfriend.” 

“No. Oh, my love,” James said, quickly standing up and getting close enough to cup your face with his hands. “Is that you’ve been a bit distant?”

You nodded, but your confusion was still evident.

“You must not have heard everything I said. It’s not my future I’m thinking about. It’s our future. I don’t want to leave Hogwarts with a girlfriend, because I want you to be my wife.” He watched your face apprehensively as his words sank in. “I want to ask you to marry me. I was waiting until after finals.” 

“Oh.” 

All of your anger and sadness melted away like it never existed. It was replaced with a lightness. Your entire being felt lighter than it had before. 

“So, I guess, to answer your question. What do I want from you? I want your future. I want your hand. To have and to hold, you know. All that jazz. I want to love you for the rest of my life.” 

You reached up and pulled James down by his shirt collar so that you could kiss him. You hoped that that would answer his technically unasked question because you couldn’t speak. You had too many emotions swirling within you, but the one that stood out the most was your full and complete love and devotion to him. 

[jaellyfishh]

The Corner Where We Met · Part 5

trope: art teacher!azzi x PE teacher!paige

content: miscommunication, HUGE azzi dialogue and mature content towards the end

dc: i was struggling on this one fr. this chapter’s a mix of Azzi and Paige’s POV. i’m planning on dedicating a chapter mostly in Paige’s POV soon. still thinking as i go. feedback is appreciated!

word count: 9.8K

Thursday, fourth period

Paige was whistling her way down Moore’s second floor high school hallways, heading downstairs towards the school’s clinic to bother Kayla during her free period - her usual Thursday activity. Suddenly, she heard someone call for her name.

“Psst, Paige!”

The blonde whipped her head towards the voice to be greeted with a familiar face peeking out the music class’ door.

“‘Ms. Burrell, wassup?” Paige fully turned around and walked slowly towards her.

“We finished up our rehearsal, so my piano’s free,” Rae explained, eliciting raised brows from Paige. “How about I give you a proper lesson instead of just letting you sneak in here to play it when I’m not around?”

”Hey, I did ask permission the first time. And you were there the other time, busy writing your composition or something. So, technically, I wasn’t sneaking around,” Paige raised her arms up in defence.

Rae laughed. “Alright, alright. You gonna take the lesson or not?”

“Mmyeah, why not?” Paige shrugged with an animated frown before stepping into the class.

As Paige took her seat on the long piano stool, Rae nervously sat beside her, her muscles partially tensed when their arms brushed against each other.

“So…anything in particular you wanna learn? Since you already know some chords,” Rae asked, eyes cautiously glancing at Paige, who stared blankly at the piano keys while humming, thinking of a song.

A few seconds passed and a faint smile etched across Paige’s face.

“Elvis Presley. Can’t Help Falling In Love,” the blonde said plainly.

Rae raised her brows, head tilting with amusement. “That’s interesting. I thought you’d pick Yurima’s Kiss The Rain or something like that”.

“That’s too common. I wanna learn this,” Paige said with certainty while facing Rae.

The taller woman felt a warmth grow on her cheeks as Paige looked at her, to which she quickly covered with a chuckle.

“So you chose the most common romantic song?” Rae quizzed.

Paige shrugged again, looking back at the keys. “I dunno, maybe I’m feeling a bit…romantic these days”.

Rae held her breath, her heart thumping loudly in her chest, a small wave of hope creeping on her mind.

“Ooo, got somebody on your mind?” she asked cautiously, playing it cool.

“Uh… perhaps,” Paige shrugged.

“Anyone that I know?” Rae pressed a little.

“Maybe,” Paige answered with a polite smile. The vague answer making Rae’s heart race, feeling both hopeful and dejected.

But Paige didn’t feel the need to tell anyone else about her and Azzi. To her, it was a mutually exclusive, going nowhere, yet intimately growing relationship - and she’d like to keep it that way. It was comfortable enough.

“O-okay. Well, I’ll show you a beginner’s way to play the song. We’ll start with the right hand first, then practice with the left. Just follow what I’m pressing,” Rae started placing her hands on the keys, Paige following suit.

The familiar tune filled the empty room as the pair continued pressing on the notes in a slow tempo. After a few mistakes and several melodic repetitions later, the fourth period bell rang for lunch, causing the pair to stop, halfway done with the song.

“Wow, Paige, you’re a quick learner,” Rae smiled.

“You’re not too shabby yourself. Dang, now I gotta remember all of it,” Paige laughed while sighing.

Rae chewed on her inner cheeks before an idea popped in her head. “Hey, maybe I could teach you over the weekend? For reinforcement, of course”.

As Rae fiddled with her fingers in anticipation, hoping to score an unofficial date with the gym teacher after school. Paige hummed to think.

“I appreciate it, Rae. But, I’ll have to decline. I made…plans,” Paige smiled sympathetically, partially lying.

Well, the blonde had yet of a plan. She didn’t want to say that she reserves her weekends in case Azzi would be free after school. It wasn’t for anyone else to know, anyways. Fudd had days being on the brink of exhaustion, barely left with free periods ever since taking up the high school’s art classes, which limited the pair’s time to seeing each other at work or after school.

Rae didn’t want to push, but still wanted to take her chances. “I understand. Look, if you have spare time fourth or sixth period tomorrow, we can do our lessons then”

“Aye, I’m free fourth period,” Paige smiled at the schedule’s alignment.

“Then it’s booked,” Rae shrugged with confidence as Paige chuckled.

The blonde exited the class, thanking the music teacher briefly before heading downstairs. As Paige descended the last flight of stairs, her eyes caught a familiar figure walking down the adjacent hall. The two locked eyes, Paige smiling widely as she stepped on the ground floor.

“Hey, stranger,” Paige greeted Azzi, whose eyes wandered to the stairs behind.

“Coming from somewhere?” the shorter woman asked curiously.

“Yeah, just played the piano a bit. The usual. Rae was teaching me,” the blonde breathed out, still smiling at the Azzi.

Azzi’s expression slightly dropped. “Rae taught you?”

Paige tilted her head. “Yeah”.

“T-that’s nice of her,” Azzi stuttered, trying to give a polite smile.

“I know, right? Inês would’ve bit my head off before I even thought about touching her piano,” Paige joked, making Azzi half chuckle. ”Once I get good, you’ll be my first audience”.

Azzi smiled. “Yeah?”

”Mm-hm,” Paige looked at her, almost smitten.

Azzi bit her inner lip, her mind repeatedly asking the one simple question she’s been wanting to know. Then a voice interjected from nowhere.

“Coach B, you stare at yo’ mama with those eyes?” a young boy snickered, while the rest of his group stifled a laugh.

“Stay right there, Michael!” Paige yelled at the high schoolers, who raised their hands pretending to be scared, nonchalantly walking towards the gym. “I’ll have to go, but I’ll see you if I can”.

“Don’t worry about me, go,” Azzi chuckled.

Paige tapped Azzi’s arm lightly before jogging towards the boys, hooking one arm around Michael’s neck and giving him an aggressive noogie.

Azzi half smiled in endearment, watching them walk further away before returning to her own classroom.

“What did I say about minding your own business, man?” Paige scolded as they walked.

“Ow! Sorry, geez! Stop being such a simp then!” the young boy yelled in a whisper.

“A simp? I’m sure Cassy knows all about that, huh?” Paige retorted.

“I dunno what you’re talking about!” Michael turned red in self-defense before his friends made teasing noises to taunt him.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, buddy”.

—

Friday, fourth period

“You’re getting the hang of it now, Paige!” Rae cheered for Paige, who was mastering the first half of the song with both hands already.

“What can I say? I’m a natural,” the blonde responded with a common line.

Rae giggled. “If you can do this, the second part won’t be as hard”.

“I trust you. I have to give you credit for your teaching skills, though. Inês would’ve made me cry,” Paige joked with a grin.

Rae smiled shyly, tucking her hair behind one ear. “You’re pretty charming, Paige, I have to admit.

Paige was caught by surprise, appreciative of the compliment before making another light-hearted joke. “Wow, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever told me today”.

Before Rae could speak further, the bell rang, alerting the pair that it was lunch time.

Azzi ascended the last stair of the second floor before hearing some chatter. For some reason she paused in her steps, peering through the wall’s edge. She caught Paige and Rae leaving the music room, which Fudd assumed was empty when they were inside. Closely observing them, they looked deep in conversation, laughing at each other probably over some lame joke Paige told.

Azzi’s breath hitched, the twist in her stomach returning.

And for the first time in a while, Azzi was reminded of her past, the image of her old self taunting her. She began breathing erratically, stumbling backwards.

Just then, a voice snapped her back to reality.

“Azzi, you going to lunch?” Kayla’s softly voiced as she held Fudd’s lower back, her face slightly concerned.

“Huh? Oh, um…Of course, ha ha” Azzi laughed dryly.

Kayla took notice. “You good?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? C’mon,” Azzi’s sudden change in expression left Kayla unconvinced, but she didn’t press further, unsure of what to suss out.

The friend group were in their usual spot again, in the corner of the room, noisy as usual. The common buzz of teachers chatting was like white noise to Azzi, whose mind went on autopilot. Her reactions to her friends’ conversations were half-hearted as she pretended to listen, her thoughts elsewhere. Paige, who sat beside her, noticed she didn’t get her usual attention from the curly brunette.

“Azzi, try this,” Paige smiled, motioning her fork that held what looked like a honey-garlic glazed salmon.

Usually, the younger woman wouldn’t hesitate to try a bite, but she just stared at the fork, emotionless. “I’m good, P, thanks.”

Paige furrowed her brows slightly, retracting her hand back. Before she could ask her something, KK’s loud voice called for Azzi, asking her to recount some funny story during last year’s field trip.

The blonde let it be, resuming eating and observing the woman beside her, whose emotion was hard to decipher.

Is it me? Or maybe she’s overworked? Or maybe it’s actually me? Paige’s thoughts ran.

After half an hour of empty exchanges between them, the lounge had already emptied out and the pair seemed to be the last to leave the vicinity. Before Azzi walked out without saying a word, Paige tugged on her arm just slightly, trying to catch her before they parted ways.

“Az, what’s wrong?” Paige was straight-forward, looking at her in bold concern.

The younger woman’s eyes scattered, her head turning the other way before looking down, then back up again. “Nothing’s wrong”.

“I don’t believe it,” Paige stated.

“It’s…it’s just work”. Azzi partially lied, unsure of what to say, or rather, afraid to admit her underlying feelings.

Paige sighed sympathetically. “If it’s work, you know I can always help out, right? Show me the assignments. Tell me what to grade, I’ll share the load with y-“

“No, no, it’s not like that. This is just…one of those days, kinda thing,” Azzi trailed, her reasoning vague.

Paige tilted her head in confusion, this angle of Azzi’s behaviour quite new to her. Although the blonde didn’t know what was really going through the brunette’s head, she thought maybe Azzi needed to unwind, take a break from school work, even for a day.

“Come by mine tonight. I’ll cook you something nice,” Paige said quietly with cautious eyes anticipating Azzi’s reaction.

To Azzi, that was the most tempting offer. But, maybe it was luck or unfortunate timing as she had already made plans.

“Thanks, Paige, but Caroline and I made plans over the weekend. We’re leaving tonight for Montgomery, a mini staycation. I figured I needed to unwind”.

Paige half smiled, relieved to know they both knew Azzi needed it.

“That sounds great, you deserve it,” Paige rubbed her arm.

—

Azzi and Caroline spent a good three hours at Montgomery Hotel’s famous bath and spa, the knots in their muscles kneaded out at the massage parlour and their bodies detoxified at the sauna. The pair were now ending their night in a secluded corner of the warm baths, catching up on life.

“Alright, spit it out, you don’t look like yourself,” Caroline couldn’t hold it in. She had hoped her best friend would’ve opened up about something early on, but her patience ran thin.

“I know, I know,” Azzi responded dispirited. “I was really hoping I came over it, but I thought wrong”.

Caroline tilted her head, scooting closer to Azzi.

She continued to ramble on. “It’s about Paige. About what we have. And the flashbacks. And… Rae“.

“Flashbacks? Rae? What?” Caroline looked lost, shaking her head as if to hear better.

“Sorry, I’ll try that again. You know how I told you Paige and I have no label? Well, we never had the chance to properly talk about the ‘rules’. Or, more like, we didn’t really care much about it ‘cause I think we know where we stand. Until Rae, you know the new music teacher, came into the picture. I had my suspicions, but I ignored them at first. Then two days ago, she asked me if Paige was single”

Caroline’s eyes widened. “For real? And what did you say?”

“I said yes. And I also said she wasn’t seeing anyone-“

“Girl, why did you say that?” Caroline asked in a light-hearted manner.

“I know. I realised my mistake then, but I didn’t take it back because when I thought about it, Paige and I never specified if we’re only seeing each other”

Caroline furrowed her brows trying to think. “But Paige isn’t actually seeing anyone else, though, right?”

“Yeah? Maybe? You never really know. Technically, we should be allowed to meet other people until we figure out what we want, right?”

“Azzi, have you seen Paige spend her free time outside of school with anyone else besides you?”

“No”

“Well, do you want her to meet other people?”

“No”

“And do you want to see other people?”

“Not really. I only like Paige”

Caroline remembered the other word Azzi mentioned. “What about the flashbacks?”

“Well…Paige told me she was getting piano lessons from Rae in school- Yeah, I’m hoping it’s not anything like that. I saw them walk out the music room together yesterday, smiling, laughing at each other… I was reminded of how I was treated back then. I guess I didn’t wanna disappoint myself again, so I-“

“You let Paige go”

“It shouldn’t have clouded my judgement, but I couldn’t help it.”

Caroline only frowned sympathetically, rubbing on Azzi’s arm.

“Azzi…I know it’s too much to ask, but why don’t you just tell Paige the truth?”

Azzi shook her head. “Truth about how my ex treated me like shit when we’re not even dating officially? It might be too much on her…”

Caroline sighed. “Isn’t that what’s holding you back from wanting to be in a relationship with her, though?”

“I…” Azzi thought long and hard about it. “I guess so.”

“Then talk to her. Next Monday, tell her after school or something. It’ll be fine. Knowing Paige, she’d drop everything for you”

Azzi nibbled on her lower lip, semi chuckling yet still covered in anxiousness. “Yeah, I’ll see how it goes.”

—

It was a Saturday afternoon when Paige was busy cooking for lunch, when she received a notification from her phone.

Camera Arnold (1)

The blonde halted her activity momentarily to unlock her phone, curious to know what would KK like to annoy her with on a weekend.

KK: Boogers! You free tonight?

Paige sighed, her mind thinking about Azzi and what could’ve been a day shopping for groceries and cooking her food, but is now in her apartment ready to binge watch White Lotus alone.

Paige: Maybe. Why?

KK: Bar Lobo at 8? We’re giving Rae her welcome to Moore moment. Everyone’s coming, minus Caroline and your wife

The blonde chuckled.

Paige: Wife is crazy. But I’m down. See you later bookie!

KK: See ya bookie!

. . .

Paige made her way to Bar Lobo, the breeze of the chilly night hitting parts of her exposed skin. She didn’t wear anything too fancy, just a white crop top and a black leather jacket with wide faded jeans, her infamous boxer shorts revealing just above the pants, and some platform boots. Her hair was down, with light waves, and a no makeup, makeup look on.

As she walked in, she was already greeted with the booming sound of music, a remix of familiar songs playing, the dance floor crowded as usual, and the DJ lighting putting her in a trance. It didn’t take long before she spotted her friends in the rounded booth in the centre, all of them chatting and taking sips of their glass.

“Paige! You made it!” Nika yelled in high spirits.

Paige laughed as she approached them before her eyes locked onto a new face among her usual crowd, who was already staring at her. Rae was sitting in the middle almost tightly squeezed in between Aaliyah and Kayla, purposely compressing her body to make space for herself.

“Y’all realise how much you’re torturing Rae over there?” Paige pointed out with a chuckle, causing the other women to notice.

A chorus of profuse apologies sang before the girls shifted outwards, causing Rae to laugh at the scene.

“Thanks, Paige. You look good, by the way,” Rae commented.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Paige responded coolly before taking her seat at the edge as she was the last to arrive.

Paige started easing her way into the group’s conversation, everyone enjoying each other’s company and the overall atmosphere of the night club, when a certain pair of light brown eyes kept glancing at the blonde over several minutes. Rae was almost blushing and quite nervous, the aura Paige radiated almost too enticing for the teacher. She wanted to get as close to the blonde, hopefully strike up a conversation, maybe flirt a little. Then she quickly thought of an idea.

“Guys, sorry, I need to use the toilet,” Rae interjected.

The ladies were quick to get up, slightly struggling in their movements but had made enough way for Rae to leave.

Just minutes after, she had sauntered back to the booth, her eyes targeting Paige with a level of confidence she hadn’t tapped into before.

As the women saw her, they almost stood up again when Rae stopped them.

“No, no it’s okay! I’ll sit here for now, makes it easier,” she said before the girls scooted a little to make space for Rae at the edge of the booth, now sitting beside Paige.

She noticed the blonde extend her arm across the table to where she had sat previously and returned her drink to her. The kind gesture made Rae’s heart swell, her infatuation for Paige cementing.

“I thought you had plans, Bueckers,” Rae was able to start.

Paige scrunched her nose briefly. “I had to make some changes”.

Rae got excited, perhaps assuming the blonde cancelled for her. She noticed Paige only having a glass of water. “You’re not gonna drink?”

“Uh, I don’t really drink. They’re used to it, I’ll be fine,” the blonde explained with a small smile. “You like the place?”

“I do, it looks fun. Inês told me about this place before, but seeing it in person is kinda cool,” she responded, taking a sip of her glass.

“Guys, I got us more shots! You better drink up!” Kayla yelled as everyone else cheered.

As the waiter came in with a plate full of shots for everyone, except Paige, KK took out her phone to take videos and pictures.

“To Rae Burrell, welcome to Moore!” KK toasted.

As each person downed their shot, KK continued taking pictures, capturing a moment of Rae laughing and leaning towards Paige, who said something about ‘you’re gonna regret that later’ with a wide smile.

After an hour and a half of nonsensical conversations and safe alcohol consumption flew by, the girls soon made their way to the dance floor, encouraged by the intoxication.

“This DJ’s so good!” Rae shouted, her eyes half-lidded and her mind getting lost in the sound, a drink in her hand.

“She is! You never want to leave the dance floor!” Paige yelled back, swaying next to her, enjoying the music.

Just then, the DJ creatively transitioned the song to something slower and sexier, the familiar tune of Muni Long’s Hrs & Hrs started playing. KK was way too excited a row behind them as one of her favourite songs played, picking up her phone to once again video the crowd.

Just then Rae, gathering the confidence from her almost lost inhibitions, turned her head to Paige. The blomde was still swaying by herself in the same motion, mouthing some of the lyrics and slowly bobbing her head.

Rae’s hand moved first before she could think, suddenly touching Paige’s arm to grab her attention. In one swift move, Rae slowly wrapped her arms around Paige’s neck, while carefully holding the drink in her hand.

The blonde froze at first.

Rae didn’t say anything. She just smiled dopily, instinctively inching closer, not wanting to kiss Paige yet, but wanting to feel her body close, relish in her touch.

Paige clenched her jaw, a mix of confusion, guilt and sympathy washed over mind within seconds. Soon enough, she gently grabbed hold of Rae’s arms, carefully detangling them from her neck and putting them back to her sides.

“Rae… I’m seeing someone,” was all the blonde could say, twitching her lips to the side and shoving her hands into the front pockets of her jeans.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” she said faintly enough for the blonde to hear it, a tinge of embarrassment in her tone.

“Not your fault. Don’t feel bad,” Paige shook her head, trying her best to console her.

Soon after, Aaliyah tugged on Rae’s arm when the song transitioned to another R&B classic from Ray J.

“Rae, that’s your song!” Edwards exclaimed giddily, swaying the arms together as they danced away.

Paige just bit her inner cheeks, unsure of what to feel. Amidst her guilt, her mind was already picturing Azzi, her dimpled smile that she loved and her touch that she craved. Paige already misses her, even if it’s been two days.

A couple hours went by when Paige decided to end everyone’s night after being completely wasted. Before the potential of Nika vomiting again, Paige had timely called for some of their Uber. She carefully guided Nika, Kayla and Rae into the car, making sure the driver knew where to go. And then dropped Aaliyah and KK home as they lived the closest to her.

It was almost 3am when Caroline and Azzi were in their hotel room, the ending credits of the movie rolling, signalling to stop their never-ending gossip session. Azzi and Caroline’s screen lit up showing a notification that KK sent a message to the groupchat.

As the pair unlocked their phones, tons of media from the night were sent, waiting to be downloaded.

“Oh, it’s from the girls tonight. Looks like they’re having fun,” Caroline tiredly commented.

Azzi was silent, scrolling through the pictures knowing Rae would be there. She saw some group selfies and pictures of the food. But what caught her attention the most was Rae and Paige sitting next to each other in the booth in some of the group pictures.

Azzi felt a pang in her chest.

There was that shot KK took of Rae leaning on Paige, both of them laughing as they held their drinks. Then there was one video, it was blurry and quick in motion. The sound of Muni Long’s Hrs & Hrs blasting through Azzi’s phone speakers. It was hard to tell what was going on at first with the amount of bodies in the video, but then she caught it.

Slightly further from the view, she could see Rae wrapping her arms around Paige before the camera turned away.

Her heart shattered.

Azzi locked her phone off and flung it towards the end of her bed before going under the covers, her eyes welling up.

“Azzi?” Caroline was confused. She got up to take Azzi’s phone to unlock it, revealing the video. She replayed it again before she noticed the same thing again.

“Oh, Paige,” Caroline whispered to herself in disappointment before turning her attention to the blanket-covered lump on the bed in front of her.

After Azzi’s last break up, she tends to shut people out when she needs time to think. Then when she had figured it out in her head, she’d pretend to be fine the next day until she’s ready to address it. Or until her breaking point. It was a coping mechanism she developed after her last breakup, sparing no time to wallow in emotions when she’s got a job she cared more about.

Caroline knew this and just let Azzi be for the night, allowing her to rationalise her thoughts and let the sleep take over.

—

Monday, morning assembly

Paige was lightly huffing and puffing as she jogged her way to the gym. She could only blame herself for snoozing her alarm long enough for her to be late. But the blonde couldn’t help it, she was up all night over the weekend thinking about Azzi.

Paige had been ghosted by her the entirety of Sunday when the blonde was curious for an update on the staycation, unable to contain her yearning. But after a whole day of no response and rejected FaceTime calls, Paige could only worry that something might’ve happened.

Paige barely made it on time at the start of the assembly, quickly making her way to the row of teachers and subtly waving her head around to find Azzi. Unluckily, Nika and Aaliyah had already taken their seats beside her, leaving only one empty seat just behind them… right next to Rae.

Oh, great, Paige thought. Not so much in disgust, but more so in nervousness, uncertain of what Rae must be thinking, if she can even remember what happened last night.

Before sitting down, she noticed Azzi glance behind her before whipping her head back to the front, emotionless and stoic.

“Morning,” Rae quietly greeted with her lips pursed.

“Hey,” Paige plainly replied, sighing as she sat down.

As the announcements went on, Rae’s leg kept on bouncing, her thoughts going a mile a minute. Paige noticed immediately, frowning a little.

“Rae, can we talk later?” Paige whispered as she leaned slightly towards her.

The nervous woman stopped bouncing her leg, turning her head to face Paige with a surprised but guilty look. “Yeah, okay”.

As the pair sorted out their arrangements, Azzi was able to eavesdrop the entire conversation, lowering her head and swallowing hard to contain her sadness.

Azzi might have lost faith, that the mistrust she had on people she fought hard to overcome was all for nothing, an effort in vain.

By the end of the assembly, Paige tried to approach Azzi, who was leaving her seat to get to her students.

“Azzi-“

“Breanna! Your mom did your hair today, huh? It’s beautiful. I like the pink beads, it’s my favourite colour,” Azzi smiled widely at the young middle schooler, who beamed brightly at her teacher.

Paige could only stare as the two kept each other close until the end of the hallway, leaving the lone blonde hurt and confused among the scattering crowd. She rubbed her hands on her face, giving herself a moment before shaking her head. With a long sigh, she brought herself to the second floor, to where she needed to meet Rae for the first period.

“Paige. I-I just want to say I’m sorry. Had I known, I wouldn’t have done it. And the alcohol,” Rae rambled on, her face painted in guilt.

“Rae, relax, it’s okay. You didn’t know,” Paige reassured before taking a seat on the chairs, motioning for Rae to sit as well. “I didn’t feel compelled to tell you because…honestly, I didn’t know you saw me that way”.

Rae half smiled before Paige continued.

“I’m seeing Azzi”.

The name piqued the taller woman’s interest, causing her to raise her head, her mind piecing things together.

“I…I knew it,” Rae slightly smiled to herself, a soft sigh escaping her mouth almost in relief. “I had my suspicions, but I didn’t wanna be too invasive at first”.

Paige chuckled in amusement. “Didn’t think we’d be that obvious.”

“Paige, are you kidding me? Dropping her to class every morning? Feeding her your lunch every day? Anyone would think y’all were dating. Heck, I thought y’all were dating,”

Paige grew red, rubbing her forehead in embarrassment. “But because Azzi said you weren’t seeing anyone-“

“Wait. Azzi said that?” Paige asked, puzzled and betrayed.

“Yeah. She said you were single and I should ask you to find out for myself. Great, now I feel like I was set up,” Rae shrugged, leaning on her seat.

Paige furrowed her brows. “There’s something she isn’t telling me. She’s been ghosting me since yesterday and she completely ignored me this morning. I have to get her to talk to me”.

“A good ol’ lovers quarrel, I see,” Rae chuckled.

Paige shook her head at the comment before Rae asked. “Is that why you chose that song to play the piano on?”

A small upward curve formed on Paige’s lips. “Yeah”

Rae pursed her lips. “This feels like a romcom, for real.”

Paige laughed, a small sound of embarrassment escaped her lips. “I wanna finish learning it. I wanna show her. Maybe get a laugh out of her when she sees me mess it up”

“Well, if you can learn quick enough, we won’t have to do more lessons and I won’t have to feel like a homewrecker,” Rae got up, taking a seat on the piano stool waiting for Paige.

—

The blonde seeked an opportunity after lunch again, tugging on Azzi’s wrist before she could leave for fifth period. They stood just by the fridge, Paige waiting for everyone to leave the teacher’s lounge so they could be left alone.

“Azzi, you got a minute?” the blonde let go of her hand. “I’ve been trying to reach out. What’s going on?”

Paige inched closer, trying to ease her way into getting Azzi to talk, get an answer she’s been dying to know. But Azzi stepped back, catching Paige off guard. She could see Azzi’s eyes scan the space behind her, thinking. Then her face grimaced before lowering her head to hide it.

“You enjoyed your weekend?” she asked suddenly.

“Sure…could’ve been better with you,” Paige admitted, a softer tone in her voice.

But Azzi was not buying it. She’s experienced a similar scene before, the outcome not exactly something she wanted to remember.

“I-I have to get back to class,” she croaked before turning her heel and speed walking out the door.

Paige was left alone in the teacher’s lounge, frustrated yet again thinking about Azzi’s recent deflections.

—

It was another school day on a Wednesday and Paige felt like the world was punishing her.

After two days between empty text responses and Azzi purposely dodging any encounter with Paige at school, the blonde was in a hopeless state. She was teaching her gym class in a different head space, forgetting to blow the whistle after the high schoolers had finished their reps with jumping jacks.

“Ms. Bueckers, you need to blow your whistle!” a young voice yelled, the rest of the students groaning.

“Sorry, guys! Alright, everyone let’s line up for a warm up jog!”

“Coach B, we did that already, remember?” a short girl at the front put her hands on her hips as if stating the obvious.

“Right, um, what is it we haven’t done yet, Stella?” Paige tried to ask nonchalantly, not admitting to losing her focus

“We’re supposed to start dodgeball,” the young girl reminded sternly.

Paige nodded with pride. “That’s correct! See, I was just testing you.”

As Stella shook her head in disappointment.

While the kids were busy playing, a student had walked up to Paige after being eliminated.

“‘Sup, Ms. B,” a familiar voice grabbed Paige’s attention.

“Look who it is. Mr. Simp,” Paige teased.

“Haven’t seen you around art class lately. And you look down. Your love life alright?” Michael teased back.

Paige shook her head. “I’m not discussing my business with you, boy”

“C’mon, you’re no fun when you’re sad. Same goes to Ms. Fudd,” the boy replied.

“W-what, she say anything?” Paige grew curious.

“Why don’t you ask her?” the high schooler raised one brow.

“Sure, if you can get her to talk to me fourth period on Friday,” Paige joked sarcastically.

“Alright, bet,” Michael nodded, to which Paige shook her head, not taking him seriously

—

Azzi’s middle school art class was peaceful as usual, the sound of sketching pencils scratching the papers. Leo’s quaint voice called for the teacher in the corner.

“Ms. Fudd, can you help me with this?”

”Mm-hm,” a soulless reaction from Azzi, getting up from her seat to approach the young boy.

“How do you draw the hands like this?” Leo asked while showing his drawing.

The older woman took his pencil and started drawing on the paper. “You got the proportions all wrong, Leo. Make this base shape longer and the fingers shorter, just like this”.

The monotone voice, the absence of an initial positive feedback, and the lack of getting the student involved made Leo worried. It was all uncharacteristic of Azzi’s style of teaching. And the student has noticed it since the beginning of the week.

“Ms. Fudd. Are you alright?” Leo asked. Azzi got taken aback by the question.

“Of course, Leo,” she chuckled, however the young boy wasn’t convinced.

“I haven’t seen Ms. Bueckers around. She do something to you?" The usual bluntless of her student made Azzi half smile.

“Don’t worry about us, Leo,” the woman shook her head.

“I can talk to her for you, if you want,” the boy looked determined.

Azzi lightly laughed. “You have a good head on your shoulders, Leo. But I’ll talk to her…when I’m ready”.

The woman mumbled the last sentence, intelligible enough for Leo to hear.

As the bell rang for lunch and the students started shuffling out of art class, Leo was making his way out before someone tapped his shoulder.

“‘Sup, Leo!”

The younger boy was greeted by a familiar high school student. “Hey, Michael”.

After dapping each other up, Michael was quick to the point.

“Listen, something’s going on between Ms. Fudd and Coach B and it’s just not the same teasing them anymore. So, I’ll be a good person for once and help them out a little. Coach said she can’t get Ms. Fudd to talk to her, so we need to get them to talk. You in?”

“I’m in. Ms. Fudd looks a bit down these day, I don’t like seeing her like that. But Ms. Fudd said she won’t talk to Ms. Bueckers until she’s ready”

“At this rate, they won’t talk at all. C’mon, let’s do it before the week ends. Got any ideas?”

As the pair pondered for a while, Leo twitched his head.

“Maybe get them to a room? A classroom would be difficult,” Leo started off.

“Yeah, yeah. Maybe the janitor’s closet?” Michael thought.

“Too dirty”

“Yeah. Oh, I know, how about the school clinic?”

“You think you can get Nurse Williams to leave?” Leo wondered.

“Li’l Leo, I can get Nurse William to be in on it,” Michael smiled proudly.

Leo shook his head. “Alright, but then how do we get them to come to the clinic at the same time?”

“Easy. Find the day they have both have free periods”

“Ms. Fudd’s only free period is fourth period every Friday. Sometimes she helps me draw on those days”

“Bruh, is this a coincidence? That’s exactly the period I need!”

—

Friday, fourth period

Azzi stood in front a section of the colourful boards of her classroom, replacing the sheets of drawings to newer ones for the new lesson on Pointillism. After sticking the last drawing on, a loud voice erupted from the doorway.

“Ms. Fudd! Leo’s nose started bleeding in math class, he’s in the clinic right now and Nurse Williams said she needs your help!“ Michael panted, his acting spectacular.

Azzi instantly grew worried, making her way out the class and slightly jogging to the clinic nearby.

Meanwhile, at the gym, Paige was busy playing basketball by herself when Leo came bursting through the door.

“Ms. Bueckers! Michael got into a fight in the toilets, he got hurt real bad. Nurse Williams said to come get you!”

Paige threw the basketball away, immediately running out the gym to where the school clinic was.

As the two women saw each other approached the school clinic, they slowed their pace until they were just near enough to talk.

“Michael got into a fi-“

“Leo’s nose started blee-“

They both paused, confused at what the other said before their eyes turned to the closed clinic door beside them. Paige turned to face it, extending her arm to reach the door handle before turning it open.

The clinic was empty except for the bed on the side of the wall that was closed off by the white curtains, indicating that someone might be behind it. As Azzi followed Paige inside, her hands immediately went to the curtains to slide it away, revealing an empty bed.

Before they had time to process, they heard the clinic door shut behind them, the sound of a lock following right after, the pair sensing they were now trapped inside. They heard a couple of youthful giggles and saw shadows of feet emitting from the door’s small open space below.

The two women turned to each other, no words coming out of their mouth at first, except for their breathless panting.

“Michael’s so gonna get it when I see him,” Paige muttered under her breath before taking a seat on the bed.

Azzi just stood there, fiddling with her fingers with her head low.

“Azzi. Sit”

The two words surprised the younger woman. She stared at Paige for a moment before reluctantly taking a seat beside Paige on the bed. It was quiet for a while. The blonde hunched over staring at the ground, her hands clasped together as her arms rested on her lap, just thinking, not knowing what to say first. The brunette was still fiddling with her fingers, also unsure if she should start.

“I miss you,” the blonde spoke up, eyes glued to the ground. Azzi shifted in her seat, her emotions mixed.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” Paige continued, hurt in her tone.

“I”m sorry,” Azzi whispered, her guilt creeping up.

“I’m gonna need more than that,” Paige brought herself to sit up straight, now turning to face Azzi. She could see her eyes slightly watery, biting her lower lips to contain her sadness.

“Paige, I’m sorry for ignoring you. I just…” the brunette paused, trying to formulate a better answer before sounding too distraught. But Paige didn’t have the patience anymore.

“Azzi, no. If you’re just gonna shut me out and leave me in the dark, I at least deserve an explanation right n-“

“If you wanna see other people, I have to be fine with that,” Azzi added, her voice gloomy.

“I- what?”

“Look, if you wanna start seeing Rae, then I don’t wanna be the one to hold you back”

Paige shifted her body closer. “Azzi, there’s nothing going on between me and Rae”.

“Yeah, I thought so at first,” Azzi said soullessly. ”Even after knowing you were getting piano lessons from her. But I still had my doubts. Then the video of you and Rae at Bar Lobo-“

“What video?”

“The video KK sent on the group chat. I saw Rae wrap her arms around you. Y’all were probably making out with each other for all I care”

A pang of guilt hit Paige’s chest. “I never saw the video. I didn’t really read the group chat after that night. But, Azzi, you’re getting it twisted-“

“Don’t tell me I’m getting it twisted when you still talked to her on Monday after assembly,” Azzi took shallow breaths, lowering her head.

Paige just stared at her before taking a deep breath.

“Azzi, you told Rae I wasn’t seeing anyone else. Ever thought about asking me about my own feelings?” Paige started off. Azzi’s breath hitched, her face even more regretful.

“But I’m not entirely wrong,” Azzi trailed, still fiddling with her fingers. Paige bit her inner cheeks before reaching out to grab Azzi’s hands, caressing it as if to console her.

“Well, you are. We never made out at Bar Lobo. Honestly, I was caught off guard myself when she wrapped her arms around me, but I stopped her before she could do anything else. And she apologised for that. Then that Monday morning, I asked if we could talk because I knew she felt bad. She’s still our colleague at Moore, I didn’t want to burn bridges over some miscommunication. I told her, Azzi. I told her I was seeing you”

Azzi’s head lifted, her watery eyes scanning Paige’s face. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Paige gave her a small smile. “And the piano lessons. At first I thought it was just for fun, but then I got inspired. By you”

Azzi’s head tilted in confusion as she watched Paige fetch for her phone. She opened her gallery to show a video of herself in the empty music room sitting by the piano.

“Okay, Azzi, don’t make fun of me if I mess this up, but this is dedicated to you.”

The video proceeded to show Paige nervously pressing every key, the familiar melody in the same slow tempo. Azzi let out a small laugh whenever Paige’s face winced every time she hit the wrong key, a strong feeling of endearment felt through her body.

When the video ended, Paige returned her phone to her pocket before giving Azzi an anticipative stare.

“I’ve never been digitally serenaded like that before,” she smiled weakly.

Paige gave a small shrug. “A special serenade for a special girl”

“I love it…but I’ll have to give it a seven out of ten. You hit the wrong keys way too many times,” Azzi joked with a weak voice.

Paige lazily laughed before leaning forward, touching their heads together as they laughed together, her hands still holding onto Azzi’s.

“I only have eyes for you, Azzi,” Paige breathed out, eyes closed.

The younger woman was left breathless.

“Me too… Sorry, I got insecure. It’s just…something coming back to haunt me,” Azzi trailed off, but Paige squeezed her hands.

“We can talk about it after school, if it’ll give you peace of mind. Come home, I wanna cook you something,” Paige consoled, retracting her head back to fully face the younger woman.

“I’d like that,” was all Azzi could say before her eyes darted down to Paige’s lips.

It wasn’t hard for Paige to notice before she leaned in, connecting their lips.

It’s been a while since the pair shared a kiss that they yearned so long for. They scooted closer to each other, making it easier for Paige to wrap her arms around Azzi’s lower back. The brunette hummed into the kiss, the softness of Paige’s lips devouring her own, feeling like home. Her hand gripped Paige’s jaw with possession, pressing their mouths together so they could never part, not even for a moment.

After a whole week, how could they not miss each other?

But in the midst of their passionate makeout session, the bell rang for lunch, causing the pair to jolt. And then a knock from the door followed after.

The pair pulled away, scrambling as they pretended to dust something off their clothes before yelling “Come in” towards the door.

“I didn’t cockblock this time, huh,” Kayla peeked her head in, smiling proudly.

The trio laughed before making their way to the teacher’s lounge to join everyone at lunch.

—

Paige’s bedroom door remained locked as muffled sounds of moans and pants barely escaped the room.

Dinner had been eaten an hour ago. They were cuddled up on the common sofa where Azzi was curled up next to Paige, who had her arms wrapped around the younger woman, holding her close. Between the idea of being alone in Paige’s apartment and the neediness for each other’s touch, one thing led to another, and now locked they’ve themselves away from the rest of the world.

“Fuck, Azzi,” Paige moaned as the curly brunette grinded her clit against hers, hovering over Paige as she struggled to keep her grip on Azzi’s waist. She continued moving her hips in a circular motion, causing more air to escape Paige’s mouth. Then Azzi leaned in to kiss her, almost sloppily and swallowing her breaths.

“I need you bad,” Paige whimpered when Azzi traveled her lips to Paige’s neck, leaving a new hickey and sucking on the previous ones.

“Mm, patience,” Azzi sighed on her neck before traveling down Paige’s long torso, giving light kisses on the way.

As soon as she reached Paige’s centre, the blonde gripped Azzi’s head, lifting her hips, so that Azzi’s mouth came in contact. But the curly brunette gently held her waist and lowered it down, trying to get Paige to relax. Then almost immediately, Azzi dipped her mouth into her entrance, her tongue playing around the folds.

“Mmm, just like that,” Paige moaned, the vulnerability in her voice turning Azzi on.

Azzi quickened the pace of her tongue, the erratic movements and wet sounds making Paige shiver. The blonde still had her hands on Azzi’s head, caressing her hair with her thumb, the younger woman feeling more encouraged. Then Azzi slowly inserted two fingers, thrusting it in a semi-fast tempo before enveloping Paige’s entire clit in her mouth at the same time.

The sensation made Paige jerk her hips up, instantly arching her head back into the pillow as she could feel herself climax.

“Azzi, I’m gonna,” she voiced tightly, her hands gripping her head harder.

“Look at me,” Azzi demanded, lifting herself to hover halfway over Paige so she could see her.

Azzi quickened her fingers into her, the sound of Paige’s entrance getting more and more wet. The blonde was struggling to keep her stare on Azzi, her moans starting to get shorter and frequent. Within seconds, Paige reached her climax, a stretched out moan escaping her lips as she came all over Azzi’s hand.

After Paige had relaxed, she had her eyes slightly closed and her eyebrows furrowed. She was recovering with laboured breaths, the sight almost sexy to Azzi. The brunette licked her fingers to taste Paige before straddling her waist again, dipping her head to leave soft kisses on her chest and neck.

The blonde just rested her hands on Azzi’s lower back, enjoying the sensation of her warm mouth on her. Then Azzi shifted so she could lay back on the bed, settling beside Paige and wrapping her hand around her waist.

Paige sighed, rubbing Azzi’s arm while looking at her with hooded eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

Azzi only smiled, her eyes gleaming. Then a soft expression of guilt washed across.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you for that long," she croaked. Paige just continued rubbing her arm whispering ‘it's okay’.

Azzi continued. “Seeing you with someone else. I was scared of going back to my insecure self…when I was with my ex.”

Azzi was hesitant to talk, biting her lip as she let her thoughts run. But Paige lightly wiped her cheek with her finger, to grab her attention.

“Talk to me. I’ll listen," with a soft smile, she reassured.

Azzi sighed. "Her name was Destiny, quite ironic, isn't it?”

A small air escaped through Paige’ nose.

“We were childhood best friends, did a lot together; same school, sleepovers, family dinners. We had similar personalities, the quiet kids in the back. But she definitely changed in high school, started becoming more outgoing, made lots of friends. I struggled on that front, but she still kept me close. In tenth grade was when our relationship began to blur, we started developing feelings for each other, subtle flirting but didn’t do anything more”

Azzi sighed again, thinking of how to say the next bit.

"When she decided to go to UConn for Computer Engineering, she had to convince me to join her. It wasn't even my top college. I actually wanted to go to Rhode Island, they’ve got the best design institute over there… But remember when I told you before that my feelings for her were just mere infatuation? I’ll admit that I was, in fact, in love, at the time. So, I did it. I followed her because I loved her”

Paige just made subtle nods while listening.

"College life. What can I say? Stereotypical as it can get. First year was alright, assignments were doable for me, a bit demanding for her. But we did make a good group of friends; most from hers, some from mine, even met Car through book club. And then there was Amanda, or Mandy, as we called her. She was Des’ classmate, a girl with conviction, spoke with confidence. Polar opposite to me. They studied a lot together, hung out when I was busy. They were getting close, almost too close to my liking. So, I started getting scared. The more weeks passed, the more I felt my chances with Des were disappearing.”

Azzi shook her head now, remembering the next part of her story.

“There was this house party over summer break, some senior of Des. All of us went. And there were so many people, everyone was drunk, I think I went a li’l too ham on the alcohol, too. And then I caught them sitting on the sofa, just chatting, a little touchy, a little flirty. Seeing them together made me feel so upset at myself for pussy’ing out. I dunno what got into me, but I shoved myself onto Des… And I started making out with her.”

Paige raised her brows surprised, Azzi scrunched her nose in disgust.

"Yeah, not my proudest moment. Des was shocked, at first; not expecting this side from me, I didn’t either. But she said she’d been waiting for us to date for a while. And, so, I got the outcome I wanted then. Our first two years together, it was sweet. We did a lot for each other; gifts, dates, you name it. We talked a lot about our future together, too, having a family, buying a house, all that stuff. We invested a lot into our relationship, it was going so good. But at the background of it all was Mandy. Des still kept her close. And I couldn’t say anything, I didn’t want Des to think I was too possessive. I was worried my insecurity would put her off”.

Paige furrowed her brows, subtly shaking her head as if to say Azzi’s feelings were valid.

“Our third year was…something. We were getting a little distant. Des got tied with her assignments, her coursework got more difficult. I had to brush off the fact that day in and day out, Mandy and her were always at the library studying together. I’d even drop by every so often at Des’ dorm to keep her company. Until one day she said not to visit, saying it’ll be too much of a hassle for me. I reassured her it wasn’t, but she was insistent, promised she’ll make time for me, even hang out after studying. Well…I didn’t know her definition of ‘hanging out’ was just sex at my dorm every time she was frustrated. Regardless, I still enjoyed any type of company with her. And we still went out on dates, so she did keep her promise.”

Azzi went silent for a bit to gather herself.

“Then it started getting dry, our dates lacklustre. I had to give her the benefit of the doubt, I knew her major was a difficult one. So, one day I decided to keep her company at her dorm again, even brought her favourite snacks and everything. But when she opened her door, she had this shocked look on her face. When I looked inside, Mandy was there. Nothing out of the ordinary, though, she was sitting on the floor busy with her books. Des reasoned with me that she was there to study, but I was confused…that’s when I started overthinking. Study in a cramped up dorm room? When the library was open 24/7? Is this why she told me not to visit anymore? Things were starting to click for me.”

Paige clenched her jaw, almost knowing what would come next.

“I pondered it for weeks. But between our dry conversations and soulless sex, I finally had the courage to confront Des about it when she came to my room for another ‘hang out’. She told me I was ridiculous, that my judgement was clouded. She said Mandy was just a friend and nothing more, but I wasn’t convinced. I told her to stop hanging out with her if she loved me that much, cared about my feelings. Then, all of a sudden, she got defensive; saying I don’t trust her, that I was too insecure…and have always been. That hurt the most. She knew I wasn’t the most confident person growing up, she knew how much I struggled to overcome that, too. We fought that day, I didn’t talk to her for weeks. But then she came back, showed up with flowers at my dorm saying she’ll spend more time with me and that she’ll stop hanging out with Mandy, I figured she felt bad. So, of course, I forgave her. I was still upset, but I still wanted to trust her. I wanted to overcome that little voice in my head.”

Azzi paused to give Paige a small smile. “You hanging in there?”

Paige chuckled lightly. “Yeah, don’t worry”.

“We’re getting to that part now,” Azzi said before a long sigh.

“For another year, it was the same story. She continued to leave me in the dark without realising, I pretended to be happy. There was no more romantic talk, no more sweet gestures from her. When I’d get upset, she’d continue to gaslight me, saying it’s her major, saying that my insecurities are getting the best of me again and that I needed to trust her. Then to make it up to me, we’d have sex. And it kept happening again, like a vicious cycle. I was beginning to feel so useless. One day, Des made dinner plans for our fourth year anniversary. Of course, I was really excited about it. But when time came ‘round, she wasn’t responsive on text, calling didn’t work either. So, I went to her dorm. Knocked on it, no response…then I heard something through the door. Someone moaning her name. I froze at first. I didn’t want it to be true, but I had to see it for myself”

Paige lifted her hand to caress Azzi’s cheek, giving her a touch of support.

“And there they were. Having sex, on her bed. Books and papers scattered. Apparently, they had been seeing each other since the start of our third year together. I knew I wasn’t being delusional, but I…I just felt more ashamed of myself. I kept asking myself why did I believe I could still trust her all this time? So I just left. She texted me saying it was a mistake, then blabbered on about how Mandy was ‘different’. It was all bullshit. She’d throw all those years down the drain to be with someone who was… a projection of who she wanted to be, maybe someone who was a better version of myself. Because I knew I wasn’t good enough for her, no matter how hard I tried to change. So, I cut her off. She moved to Australia after graduation and I couldn’t care less what happened after. So… there you go.”

It was quiet for a moment. Azzi shifted to have Paige on her hold more properly, staring at her with full attention.

“Honestly, it’s not so much what Des did, but more so what I became when we were dating. I lost my trust in a lot of people since then, it was hard overcoming my low self-esteem and it felt like I had to start all over again. Caroline’s the only one who kept me grounded all those years. She never liked Des from the beginning, kept telling me to leave her. But I never listened.”

Paige gave a half smile. “I…I understand what that’s like. Healing isn’t linear, there’ll always be lapses, but I’m proud of you for working on yourself since then. I’ve never met a person more confident in themselves. You know your worth, Az”.

Azzi hummed, lost in Paige’s blue orbs.

“Thanks…that means a lot. Paige, I…I didn’t think I’d share this part of my life so early on, but…I felt I had to”.

Paige shook her head. “Only if it felt right to you”.

“Yeah, it did. That’s, um, that’s why I wanted to ask you something,” Azzi nibbled on her bottom lips just subtly.

“Sure,” Paige whispered.

“It’s been almost two years and I want to try dating again. Ever since meeting you, you’ve changed my perception on everything I knew about trusting people, loving oneself, caring for others. I guess, all I wanted to ask was…will you be my girlfriend?”

Paige sharply inhaled. She couldn’t think of anything initially. The moment she heard the word ‘girlfriend’, it was like she had been electrocuted. It had been a while for her, too. She’d almost forgotten what it was like to give so much love and commitment to someone. The prospect of that seemed daunting to her, what if things go wrong again? How badly will she take the blame on herself? Just like before, Paige thought.

But one thing was for certain. Azzi made doing that all so easy, so natural. And Paige knew it well. Perhaps the blonde didn’t feel ready all this time because she didn’t meet anyone worth being ready for.

“Yeah. I want to,” Paige smiled, nodding slightly.

Azzi let out a deep breath nervously, almost relieved. “Okay…yeah, okay”.

Paige laughed before rubbing her back. “Happy you’re gonna get full access to me now?”

“Why do you have to say it like that and ruin the moment?” Azzi groaned into her neck.

“It’s not entirely false, though,” Paige pulled herself away so she could get Azzi to look at her.

“Yeah, whatever,” Azzi replied, defeated.

Then Paige grabbed her cheek and leaned forward, giving Azzi a soft peck.

“We’ll take it day by day,” Paige reassured.

This time Azzi gave her a small peck. “I appreciate that”.

They kept each other close as the night was beginning to end, settling in the warmth of their naked bodies. But between heartbeats and soft breaths, their minds raced in the darkness. There was fear as much as there was excitement for what’s to come tomorrow.

[carlyraejepsans]

until recently i was a "havent even touched the game in 8 years, i barely remember the characters" type of ut fan, but i just finished it again and my brain is active again, but im really rusty. i could only think of you to ask, please feel free to ignore if youve answered before or for any reason at all. ill send them by separating, first one is this: since flowey says he "could never get past Asgore if it werent for you" does that tie to the quality of his determination, stats, or gameplay? like is he simply stuck on the "playing" part, no matter what he has equiped or his LV, is he simply unable to manage the turns? im a shitty gamer myself, i can bet sans fight would succeed to stop me from finishing a NoMercy, so is the asgore fight equivalent of that for flowey? so he never got Any "ending" at all, just went around doing what he could, until only thing left was asgore, and reseted? if so, wouldnt that make it basically canon he'd tried a NoMercy and got stumped worse with sans? please tell me your thoughts on floweys time with the power to save and reset

Hi, and welcome back to the game! I was in your exact same position a couple of years ago, so I'm super flattered you're looking at me for information.

Flowey's final kill count before the events of the game is... debatable. More under the cut because this got long.

Of course, like you said, you have lines like the ones after you deal with Asgore for him:

Howdy! It's me, FLOWEY. FLOWEY the FLOWER! I owe you a HUGE thanks. You really did a number on that old fool. Without you, I NEVER could have gotten past him. But now, with YOUR help… He's DEAD. And I'VE got the human SOULS!

There's a pretty straightforward interpretation of this line, and it's the one you brought up: Flowey tried to defeat Asgore but couldn't, and he needed us to weaken him first to achieve his goal. The phrasing doesn't leave much to be contested. However! There's another Flowey line--this time in the geno route, I don't know if you've already gotten to it in your replay--that i feel can offer a slightly different perspective.

You understand, I've done everything this world has to offer. I've read every book. I've burned every book. I've won every game. I've lost every game. I've appeased everyone. I've killed everyone. Sets of numbers… Lines of dialogue… I've seen them all.

If you go with the previous interpretation, you can read this line as Flowey being hyperbolic, or taking some poetic liberty for the sake of rhetorical parallelism. But considering his larger metanarrative role as a mirror and reflection of the completionist player experience, I think it is also completely fair to assume that Flowey HAS, in fact, killed Asgore before. Just like he's killed Sans. Just like he's killed literally everyone who can be killed in the game, either directly or indirectly (see, in our case, Alphys).

This does require a re-framing of the post Asgore fight dialogue, however. Which is... actually not as much of a stretch as you'd expect!

"but now, with your help... he's dead. and i've got the human SOULs." -> i needed your help to kill him.

"but now with your help... he's dead. and i've got the human SOULs." -> i needed your help to get the SOULs, specifically.

It's a subtle difference, but one that gets corroborated, once again, in Flowey's NEW HOME monologue in the geno route.

We don't even need to leave to get them this time. The king has six of them locked away. I've tried hundreds of ways to get him to show me them… But he just won't. I know he'll do it for YOU.

Remember how the SOUL containers are hidden under the floor in front of the Barrier until the moment you and Asgore initiate the battle? There would be no way for Flowey to know where they were stored unless Asgore chose to show them to him.

If you want my personal favorite interpretation, I think it's pretty clear that I lean towards the second option. All while not discarding the idea that Flowey is just a bit of a shit gamer as unrealistic (for all he may trap us in unavoidable attacks over and over, he does get thwarted every single time). He certainly seems more apt in plotting schemes and manipulation than sheer fighting prowess. My preference also remains because, while Flowey IS softlocked out of the ability to "finish the game" until we (the true protagonist) start playing, that is because Undertale doesn't end when we kill Asgore: it ends when we get to the Surface. THAT'S the final objective Flowey wants, and can never achieve on his own in the state of the game before it begins. Whether Asgore is alive or dead is irrelevant.

My preference also comes from Asgore and Flowey's characterizations. We know that Flowey has spent a significant amount of time stalking and resenting and mocking and enjoying Toriel's suffering in the RUINs. He is extremely good at pushing buttons and digging wounds back open. And well, Asgore himself is actively suicidal by the time we get to him, and has been for a while. Think only of the ending where Flowey doesn't kill him, so he kills himself instead. Furthermore, if you look at Undyne's reminiscing during our date in pacifist...

Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight ASGORE. Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn't land a single blow on him!

...it's clear Asgore is not only a very strong opponent, but also capable of blocking/dodging attacks. Something he doesn't do during our battle with him, in order to give us a fair fighting chance. Which is also clear suicidal ideation. Now, once again you could use this dialogue to support the opposite thesis that Flowey never managed to kill him. Asgore clearly has past experience in fending off rabid 13yos who want to beat his ass. But he is also in a very fraught mental state as is. Flowey's... well, everything--his mere existence as a concept would be enough to make him want to die. You can't tell me Flowey never drove his father to suicide during his resets (think of Asgore and Alphys' parallels), OR his mother--though I don't think he would be successful in her case (which only makes him hate Toriel more.)

But I would say both options are very good and can both be used to explore their characterization, on their own and in relation to one another.

So while I don't disagree with your comment about the Asgore fight being Flowey's personal Sans fight, I do think Flowey's Sans fight WAS also just... the sans fight lmao. Possibly with easier requirements to face it than us, if you only consider this dialogue of his after several neutral endings in a row

You know. Smiley Trashbag. Say. If I have ONE piece of advice for you... DON'T. Let his brother. Find out ANYTHING about you. He'll... well… Let's just say. He's caused me more than my fair share of resets. Stay away from that guy.

Though it's true that that could both refer to his fight and other shenanigans Sans could have pulled to cause problems on purpose for a time traveler, if he really saw them as a threat that needed dealing with.

does that tie to the quality of his determination, stats, or gameplay? like is he simply stuck on the "playing" part, no matter what he has equiped or his LV, is he simply unable to manage the turns?

I'll leave that to your discretion, actually! Like I already mentioned, it does seem to me that Flowey's specific strengths lie in his ability to manipulate and plot from the shadows, but whether he's naturally good at battles or not, I think the core of what makes him dangerous is the same thing that made us dangerous too. The fact that his mistakes, at the end of the day, do not matter. Flowey can fail and die and try again every single time he wants.

Every other character only needs to mess up once.

When the bored time bending kid with a violent complex has the wheel, it's not a matter of "if" he beats you. It's a matter of when.

Hope that made some kind of sense!

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜

The Game Informer article approximately covered the first 4 hours of the game. [source]

--

Twitter user: "Please please please let me make a feminine shaped body with no chest, begging for non-binary to be something I can present not just a pronoun slap" Saira: "this will be entirely possible with the body sliders!" [source]

--

''the characters you don’t romance WILL romance each other which can showcase different straight and queer relationships.'' [source] (So it's not only Harding/Taash, but more companion-companion pairings will be possible, and these will be diverse? ^^)

--

the game will have Brazilian Portuguese subtitles [source].

the community Council, which had long-term fans of the series on it, also had folks on it who had never played a DA game before [source] (this is good! a good mix)

another detail was that they ranged in age from 20s-40s, unfortunately I can't recall the source for this rn but yea.

"Last names are based on your faction. You can customize your first name, however." [source: the BioWare Discord]

"In-world - Rook is a nickname you're given before the events of the game, and it's what everyone refers to you as. It allows for other characters to refer to you in dialogue without awkwardly having to write around not having a defined title, while still allowing for name customization." Also, in the game, it is explained why we got the nickname Rook in the past. [source: the BioWare Discord]

"There are specific lines and dialogue options for different lineages, as well as different backgrounds, and classes, including at least a handful that are unique to lineage/background combinations. No specifics but we wanted to make sure the game felt reactive to the choices you made in creating your Rook." [source: the BioWare Discord] (lineage as in: human, elf, dwarf, qunari)

A user asked whether elven Rook is Dalish or City. Answer: "It'll depend on your background. As mentioned previously, certain lineages will have variations of that background that go into more detail where appropriate." [source: the BioWare Discord]

"Every faction is, ultimately, made up of people. Some good, some bad, and some trying (and failing) to do their best. So it's fair to say that different people in the world might have a different perspective on how the various factions fit in and what they're trying to do." [source: the BioWare Discord]

"Without getting into spoiler territory - Rook's a hero because they chose to be, not because they were chosen. Your choice of background fills in some of the details - and you get opportunities to define it further - but some things we leave up to you to fill in." [source: the BioWare Discord]

A user asked "In what capacity is the Inquisitor going to return? Can we expect something similar to Hawke’s return in Inquisition?" Answer: "This one you'll just have to wait and see as this is well into serious spoiler territory. But more generally, as I said in the Q&A - the Inquisitor's been part of this story all along, and it would be very strange for them to suddenly fall out of it."

"Much of what would have been abilities or “spells” in the past are now accessed in real-time from the core buttons on the controller! Mana Shield, Mage Beam, Bolts, Magical Blasts, Orb Toss, and Elemental Bomb. Not to mention the elemental types change depending on your weapon. It very much feels like casting spells, but don’t just take my word for it. I’m excited to show more Mage gameplay as we get closer to launch." [source] There will be quick buttons on the keyboard for PC people too. [source]

The Veil Ranger spec can be built around charged ranged attacks, lightning damage, and stagger [source]

Many builds are possible in the game and this is highly variable with gear and companion-set up [source]

At some point this summer, they will be showing more of the skill trees [source]

The music score has variation, flourishes, and great tavern songs [source]

Corinne: "everyone at EA has been incredible in their support for the game and commitment to quality. Hopefully we’ll have a chance to do it [Discord Q&A] again. In the meantime I watch the Discord comments fairly regularly, even if I don’t respond often." [source]

A user asked about cameos of previous characters. "Seeing the surprise appearances for the first time is half the fun! There are some good ones, but I’ll leave the discoveries to you all" [source]

On a post of the table team gathering picture - Corinne: "The moments where you gather the whole team like this are some of my favorites." [source]

When Solas shot Bianca during the prologue during SGF, "Some of the journalists in the live demo audibly gasped!" [source]

In combat there are primers and detonators [source]

Lots of beloved elements from previous DA games inspired the combat of DA:TV [source]

[rpgchoices]

Misdirection (Astarion romance route)

BG3 spoilers

I am obsessed with the misdirection in Astarion's romance. I said it before, I was absolutely tricked too. When you read a text or consume media every line is put there for a reason, it is a waste otherwise. By the party scene you kind of have a certain idea of what Astarion is. You know that he dislikes helping others, you know that he lies, he flirts a lot, he is vain, he is a killer, and he wants power (from the conversations about the tadpoles and Raphael).

At this point, if you chose him as a romance, it could also be that you enjoyed the idea of him being a vampire and all the tropes that come with it.

So when, after the first night together, you can ask him "It felt like you weren't fully there" there had to be a reason. From a writing pov, why was that line added?

As a player, you have to wonder. And by this point in the story it seems like a warning there is little that might convince you that what he answers with is not the truth, mainly because it falls right into the classic stereotypes of this kind of romance. Of course he is a danger, he did not want to lose control, be careful in the future - this is how it would sound to me if I romanced him without spoilers. I know because when I got his sex scene, I reloaded and romanced someone else because this kind of aggressive seduction vampire fantasy was not my thing.

If I had read this line, I would have been sure it was a small hint that romancing Astarion could end up very badly. Another small misdirection that could easily end up as a clue is in their second pre-sex scene together. Astarion is making sure the MC will stay with him, and he is very seductive. The funny thing is that if you choose the "yes" (1st option in the pictures just below) you don't get any other information or clue, but just flirting. You actually get even more of the fantasy, he talks about how he cannot stop thinking about you, he even presses on the word "dangerous", and his mannerism is all business

If instead you ask him to be better he goes on and on about his lines, he directly tells the player that these are all fake, basically. You can even ask him if these lines work on Cazador's targets, and he says "well, they worked on YOU".

So at this point as players we know that the player is being manipulated and teased up till a point. I definitely fell for it by immediately cutting the romance short, and never thinking about it again until I got the strenght potion scene. I got that scene as a friendship one, which has different options.

It is a bit different than the romance, he is much more direct in my opinion. He talks about his body as one of the few assets he has, and he is much more confused about why he was being "too precious" about the potion, he is actually surprised by himself.

And as I said, it is much more direct when he says that he never had a choice before (and he is specifically talking about sex). In the friendship version you can also convince him that he needs to use all of this that he has because he might, to protect himself and get advantage, which at least gives credit to our MC if we do romance him.

(TW!! for SA) In the romance scene instead you never get these options, you CANNOT convince him to keep using his body, and if you try to do so he will break up with you, as he should, he is much more confident.

And regarding the whole misdirection if you have not maximized his approval, you won't get his confession but you will find out the whole of his story after the drow potion scene. That is the scene where he thanks you for respecting his consent. I feel like it is such a monumental and surprising one, definitely not one I expected.

And the options are SO SO TELLING. The one sex option you get in this dialogue is the WRONG one. The game directly tells you that by choosing it you assaulted him and disregarded his consent.

There are instead 5 good options. I checked and they all seem to have the same amount of approval.

They are:

1. Showing him that your feelings are real so he can trust them. 2. Showing him intimacy without sex (hug). 3. Confirming that you want to be with him even with his burdens (he often mentions them in other dialogues, especially when you choose between him and Gale). 4. Saying you can be together without sex. And my favourite: 5. ASKING him what he wants, CARING about what he wants.

So yeah, I admit I absolutely fell for it, I was convinced this would take such a wildly different road. Glad to see it did not.

[dreamer1084]

Natsuyuu Anime S7EP6 VS Manga Vol22 SP.19 & Vol19 Ch.77

Sensei's "tsk" was changed to "hum" Matoba's "おや" was deleted.

Matoba's laughter was deleted.

Matoba's dialogue when explaining the content of the commission was greatly simplified, retaining only the most basic knowledge without details.

Deleted the scene where Natsume was suspicious of "Why did he keep me here?"

Natsume's description of things that the audience can directly see has been deleted as usual. By the way, we cannot see the youkai in anime as clear as in manga.

Anime deleted a lot of monologues and dialogues here explaining why he went to Hakozaki's house.

When they saw the Youkai, they were still outdoors in manga, but they had already entered the house in anime. That's why the dialogue where Beniko thanked them for coming was also deleted.

Anime changed Natsume's straightforward statement about investigating his grandfather here to be more tactful. First, anime moved the dialogue forward, saying that although he didn't know if he had the ability to help, he would look around the house. Then he use "speaking of" to bring in his grandfather's matters.

In terms of dialogue, manga Natsume seemed to be talking to himself, so he later apologized for being rude. In anime Natsume used more questions, thus a more sense of communication.

Youkai hided behind this tower in amine. It is different from the manga in which Beniko answered the phone and left so Natsume could discuss the situation with Sensei.

Anime deleted Natsume thought Matoba sneaked into the house, and Matoba smiled and said he had permission LOL

Deleted scene where he said "かじん(家人) will not be harmed" (The "家人" here in Japanese does not necessarily refer to the family, but may also mean something like a servant. It may be an attempt to ridicule the identity of Sensei. But it may also mean people in this house. )

Manga's Natsume chose not to speak when faced with Matoba's request, and than delivered a monologue to the readers. In anime, he said, "I am (helping you) only for Beniko-san and Sensei."

Deleted Motoba's line "Do you want to hear it? Okay" and Natsume was again speechless.

His dialogue explaining the Youkai was again slightly simplified.

Deleted Motoba's "そうですね" (more like a modal particle for thinking than recognition) Matoba in manga just stared at Natsume, and Natsume asked him unhappily what was going on. Anime included a strong wind that made Natsume close his eyes. At this time, Matoba looked at him thoughtfully.

Anime simplified Matoba's instructions to Natsume into simply telling him to look to the east.

Deleted Nanase said "We meet in a strange place"

Deleted Nanase said, "It's so convenient that Youkai will come close to you when you are here."

The dialogue here was split into Natsume first asking if there was a mirror, Nanase responded that it was part of the spell, and Natsume said that the mirror was broken.

Animation added Natsume says "わかりました"(Got it) And Nanase also said "頼んだぞ"(I am counting on you)

Sensei in anime did not have the arrogant tone from manga, but he clearly complained that "forbidden techniques are really troublesome." Anime Natsume asked "Even Sensei can't exorcise it?"

Deleted the dialogue where Matoba asked Natsume not to tell others and hoped to have a good conversation with him (Because the content was similar to the summary part of the abandoned station later.)

Anime also deleted the sence where Beniko said that she only let them in because Matoba-clan agreed not to charge. She also promised Natsume again that if she discovered anything related to his grandfather, she would inform him.

[dilf-luvr-4evr]

† Discussing Chapter 2

Horseshoe Overlook; Who is Not Without Sin

taken from John 8:1-11, A Woman Caught in Adultery (NLT ver)

links for more detailed reading: dialogue , bible

part of The Aftermath of Genesis series!

Warning! Discussions of Christianity, game spoilers!

Summary: Arthur fetches Reverend Swanson as he stumbles out of camp drunk and found him gambling. Chaos ensues.

I think this one is pretty self explanatory if you have dipped your feet in Christianity.

A Woman Caught in Adultery tells the story of people asking Jesus what to do with Mary Magdalene; an adulteress. According to the law of Moses, such acts are to be punished by stoning.

However, Jesus told them, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!”

Mary Magdalene’s near death experience to me is similar to Swanson beaten up and almost getting killed by the train. And yes, Arthur’s role being Jesus lol and at the same time, just another sinner.

When all who bashed Mary Magdalene left, Jesus asked her, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

To which she answered, “No, Lord.”

“Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

We see the Reverend getting ridiculed by the gamblers as well as people in camp. If you choose to interact with camp folk as you carry Swanson back, you can hear John and Abigail saying things like, “You’re too easy on him, Arthur.” And “You've always had a soft spot for that old fool.”

But even when Swanson himself got his foot stuck and said “It appears to like this place and wants to stay,” Arthur still chose to save him, even almost getting himself killed in the process. Stood with him even though Swanson felt like everything else is against him.

Again, he started crying and said things like “Have I been bad again, Mr. Morgan? I'm sorry. I wish I was different.”

But Arthur just said, “Let’s get you home.”

I guess we can view people at camp and the gamblers as the people who condemned Mary Magdalene. But without many words, Arthur defends the Reverend (“He's a decent feller going through a bad time. Disrespect him again, and you'll find yourself in a bad time too.”).

And I’d like to think that he, out of everyone, understood best that he himself is not without sin. Made clear when he said to the gamblers, “Life is a challenge... to all of us.”

shoutout to @etherealsadchick @arthurmorganist @thedilfdiaries @prettyundeadgirl (thank you for the enthusiasm 🥺🫶🏼!!)

[isat-script-project]

Your amazing work here has inspired me to want to try doing a script project for DQB2 and I was wondering if you had any advice for me?

I'm gonna assume that's some sorta dragon quest game?

Well, ISAT really is a blessing in this regard, because the game is not encrypted at all. Accessing files and all text via rpgmaker MV and VSC is incredibly easy.

okay this got really long i'm putting it under the cut.

But before you get started, there really are some things you need to ask yourself first:

How am I going to get the text from this game?

If your answer is "write it down by hand as I play" then already know that there HAS to be a better way. If you're choosing that method, get yourself emulation, save states, or endless patience, because hooh boy, I've done a little bit of that for a different project (no, I will not elaborate) but save scumming on original hardware to get different dialogue options is agony.

Is there a text dump for your game? Is there a file dump or decomp for your game? Do you have the technical know how to access it? If not, are you confident in your knowledge of the game to accurately identify where all dialogue may occur? If not, are you satisfied missing out on nothing lines and just focusing on the non-optional? Is your game linear enough to not need a closer look at the code to figure out what happens when, as isat does?

2. What's my scope?

Again, do you truly want every line from this game, or just what's "important"? I personally cannot rest until I've exhausted the fucking Menus (which is why there's a script page for those, too) because I'm a completionist with delusions of grandeur, but some people are satisfied transcribing the cutscenes and nothing else (MUCH TO MY ANNOYANCE WHEN I NEED THE OTHER STUFF.... nobody cares about the optional collectible npc dialogue BUT I CARE!!! I CARE!!!!!)

Anyways, what exactly your scope is is gonna significantly influence what your next step looks like.

3. How am I going to present this?

Making the isat script project an individual website mainly came down to how finicky the dialogue in isat is. There's conditionals stacked on conditionals and I wanted a space where I had total control over how to present these factors without influence.

For more linear games, like, say, that time I made all the fewiki scripts for Fire Emblem 6 from chapter 12 onward, it was easy enough to present the scripts on a wiki page just because the game is much more linear, there's less dialogue to begin with, and all conditional text could be nicely divided up into similar groups, like boss dialogue where the condition is just "fight boss with x character".

isat script project would not exist without my fire emblem fixation, fun fact. other fun facts include that as a child i attempted to novelize Mario Party DS by transcribing all story mode text into a booklet by hand, and I did not finish this for reasons that are hopefully obvious.

This is, as you may figure, way easier to do. There is significantly less burden on you to actually understand how a website works - I cannot stress enough that the current state of the script project is only possible thanks to Gold, and without them, we'd still be at all dialogue being formatted as <p><b>Siffrin:</b> Says some text.</p>

For a lot of older games, you can also find whole game scripts being put up into a single document. Tis common on gamefaqs, I've used those plenty. There I believe you're just working with plain ol txt.

The rule is always though look at examples and if they do something cool figure out whether you can copy it. i did not create the website layout myself, i used a base and fiddled with it for a whole weekend until it stopped exploding.

Again, like, using an existing structure like a wiki or gamefaqs or just google docs or a spreadsheet is a significantly eased burden. One of my favorite things ever is actually a text dump on github, of all places. For this one, the person putting it up chose to leave all text in as close to original state as possible, doing no trimming of things like character emotes and leaving in all original string titles of every line. This is also incredibly useful, even if it is more difficult to use for your average schmoe! (This has fucking saved me doing wiki stuff for engage. engage text dump i ADORE you)

Do you want to be as accurate to the code as possible, or as accurate to the game? Do you have the time, energy, and skills to make the visual presentation nice? Or do you want to keep it rudimentary to streamline your process?

If you ARE doing something like making your own website, it is crucial that you figure out your visuals early, lest you be like us, and be stuck in Reformatting Hell for several months, because someone figured out how to make a thing prettier and nicer to read, and now you need to update the 100+ pages you've already created.

Reformatting code like that takes just as long as making a page in the first place, by the by, because you're just not getting around copy-pasting everything line by agonizing line.

This stuff takes HOURS. If I went at it alone, I doubt I'd have finished by now, or within the next like, two years. This is a really time consuming hobby, and I love doing it a lot, it scratches my exact fixation itch, but if your game is huge, consider seeing if people would be interested in joining you? I will also say being autistic about your game of choice is also a bonus in the sustainability department.

Many a times there were just no updates (as they are now) cuz I am just. Distracted by something else. Like yes on one hand I'm going to uni now and have less time but it's not really less time if I can still put 17hrs into a new video game in three days.

Stuff like this is ALWAYS a long-term project and you WILL need to take time off from it or else you'll start seeing html in your dreams and get burnout.

STREAMLINE YOUR PROCESS!!! FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THIS WITH AS LITTLE EFFORT AS POSSIBLE!!!! Gold introduced me to Espanso, which is a program that lets you set up keyboard shortcuts to insert phrases, which was a MAAAAAASSIVE time saver in the html department, as it allowed me to just rapid fire paste in all the many html classes we stacked for the presentation of the site. even if you are doing a script on a wiki where everything does look like ['''Siffrin:''' says a thing] you will still be doing yourself a favor if you can shorten that '''Siffrin:''' to just typing :s .

As a side note, I also wanna say like. The popularity of isat script project is a complete outlier. Other game scripts may be used by a maniac like me to overanalyze the plot structure of Sonic 06, but you're very likely not going to see that recognition. I love doing this, because I want these resources to exist for myself. I don't do this for the good of the fandom, but because it is useful to me. I started this because I was writing isat fanfic, and got tired of looking up dialogue on youtube or booting up my own game.

Do I know if anyone found my FE6 scripts useful? No. Do I know if anyone is going through Veyle/Quotes and appreciating that I transcribed all the fucking battle voice clips? No. Do I know if someone appreciates me accurately labelling all voice lines from the ring polishing minigame in engage? Hell no. I don't know, I'm never going to get feedback on that. Those are wiki pages, anyone can edit them, they don't have viewcounts or comments I can look at, and the fandom just isn't as prone to taking screenshots and posting about them line by line as isat.

Isat blew the fuck up on tumblr. I'm not saying you'll get no recognition at all, but if you are relying on external motivators, you are probably going to peter out. There are pages I've worked on for other script things that I've genuienly not touched in two years because I just didn't feel like it, and that's also okay.

TLDR:

Figure out how to get the text you need with the least effort possible (and figure out whether doing that is even possible at all!), figure out what scope you're actually willing to put up with, and present it with the least effort possible, because everything else just isn't sustainable. Streamline streamline streamline. Be prepared to spend hours on this and maybe like find a new favorite podcast to just copy paste text to, because honestly, doing this is also pretty zen.

And most importantly, sparkle on, don't forget to have fun! Even if it seems big and intimidating, you can still make it just a fun side project, and slowly chip away at it over time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and with all the advantages going for isat script project (additional manpower, unencrypted files, easy tools for game examination) it still took over a year to complete.

(loop voice) Don't make the same mistakes I did, okay?

oh, yeah, one last thing, if you're not putting it on a wiki and ARE making your own website, ABSOLUTELY PUT IT ON GITHUB!!!! setting up so any changes to the main branch on github get reflected onto neocities is pretty easy and you only need to do it once, and what this allows is to just have random strangers show up and fix your problems for you. sometimes someone will just show up and fix five bajillion typos and then leave. or they'll stick around and help with more stuff and wowie you have a semblance of a team now.

if you're doing it on a wiki, find like, the wiki discord, if someone is interested in chipping in. if you're doing your own website, put it on github. do it. do it do it do it.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Do you have any dialogue prompts for a person who doesn’t speak much?

In literature, we can find characters who are generally quiet. Some of them are perhaps so because it's innate, whilst others may not speak much due to certain events (e.g., a traumatic experience). Maybe some quotes from these quiet characters could serve as dialogue prompts. Below are just two examples I chose.

In Louisa May Alcott's Little Women, Beth March is known as a quiet, introverted character:

...We’ve each got a dollar...‘I planned to spend mine in new music,’ said Beth, with a little sigh, which no one heard but the hearth brush and kettle holder.

‘I used to be so frightened when it was my turn to sit in the chair with the crown on, and see you all come marching round to give the presents, with a kiss. I liked the things and the kisses, but it was dreadful to have you sit looking at me while I opened the bundles,’ said Beth, who was toasting her face and the bread for tea at the same time.

‘Serves me right for trying to be fine. I wish I’d let my hair alone,’ cried Meg petulantly. ‘So do I, it was so smooth and pretty. But it will soon grow out again,’ said Beth, coming to kiss and comfort the shorn sheep.

‘I saw something I liked this morning, and I meant to tell it at dinner, but I forgot,’ said Beth, putting Jo’s topsy-turvy basket in order as she talked.

‘I like that kind of sermon. It’s the sort Father used to tell us,’ said Beth thoughtfully, putting the needles straight on Jo’s cushion.

‘I wish I’d known that nice girl. Maybe she would have helped me, I’m so stupid,’ said Beth, who stood beside him, listening eagerly.

‘Jo talks about the country where we hope to live sometime—the real country, she means, with pigs and chickens and haymaking. It would be nice, but I wish the beautiful country up there was real, and we could ever go to it,’ said Beth musingly.

...so that is my favorite dream.’ ‘Mine is to stay at home safe with Father and Mother, and help take care of the family,’ said Beth contentedly.

‘If something very pleasant should happen now, we should think it a delightful month,’ said Beth, who took a hopeful view of everything, even November.

‘I don’t see how you dared to do it,’ said Beth in a tone of awe.

‘My head aches and I’m tired, so I thought maybe some of you would go,’ said Beth.

‘I’m so full of happiness, that if Father was only here, I couldn’t hold one drop more,’ said Beth, quite sighing with contentment as Jo carried her off to the study to rest after the excitement, and to refresh herself with some of the delicious grapes the ‘Jungfrau’ had sent her.

In Maya Angelou’s novel-like autobiography I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, the protagonist becomes mostly mute after a traumatic childhood event:

When we still didn’t force ourselves to answer, she asked, “You want me to tell Santa Claus to take these things back?” A wretched feeling of being torn engulfed me. I wanted to scream, “Yes. Tell him to take them back.” But I didn’t move. (An example of internal dialogue)

It occurred to me that she expected a response. The sweet vanilla flavor was still on my tongue and her reading was a wonder in my ears. I had to speak. I said, “Yes, ma’am.” It was the least I could do, but it was the most also.

“What you doing sitting here by yourself, Marguerite?” She didn’t accuse, she asked for information. I said that I was watching the sky. She asked, “What for?” There was obviously no answer to a question like that, so I didn’t make up one.

Stunned but trying to be well mannered, I said, “Hello. My name is Marguerite.”

“What the hell is this?” He hunched himself up on a hip and brushed the pants. His hand showed red in the porch’s cast-off light. “What is this, Marguerite?” I said with a coldness that would have done him proud, “I’ve been cut.”

The lie lumped in my throat and I couldn’t get air. How I despised the man formaking me lie...The tears didn’t soothe my heart as they usually did. I screamed, “Ole, mean, dirty thing, you. Dirty old thing.” Our lawyer brought me off the stand and to my mother’s arms.

Sources: 1 2 3 4

Hope this helps inspire your writing. Do tag me, or send me a link. I'd love to read your work!

More: On Mutism

[yuseirra]

Ch 160 ..let me jot down my stream of consciousness about what I feel, my reading comprehension skills can't be that bad, it'd help if I can sit down and think through a little more.

+ Okay, I'm complete! I understand things much better now!! Upon close examination, This chapter doesn't change anything so dramatically.

IT STILL DOES NOT ANSWER JUST WHAT THE DAD'S MOTIVES ARE, but... the conclusion I have after having reread it thoroughly??

It's that my interpretation of him as a mild guy still stands—it enhances it, even. He's still really kind, which is a pretty surprising conclusion compared to what I felt about it at first glance.

He's.. really kind and considerate. I'm serious. wow.

well, analysis/interpretation below!

I was spoiled about chapter way back sometime last Friday, right? and it was pretty accurate in sense, with it being just some bunch of sentences and that one really creepy panel.. it does help to see the actual art and the expressions that are associated with the dialogues.

Now that I sit down a bit, there are two different interpretations of the same story: Kamiki's testimonies on what's happened (I believe these are all truths. They perfectly match up with how I've interpreted his character all along.) and Aqua's takes on them.

I'm not reading things off the english version btw, so the dialogues may differ.

According to what Kamiki says,

-he considered Ryosuke and Nino as good people and as friends. But they approached him because they were obsessed with Ai, so he didn't know about their true colors.

-so he was able to talk about his breakup with her and talked about whether if he should visit her having children at the hospital where Gorou was. They went and killed Gorou, but Kamiki had no idea about that.

-on the day Ai died, he was still unsure about meeting her because he lacked the courage to see her face (god he's timid) so he asked Ryosuke to give her his bouquet on his behalf

I KEPT SAYING THIS GUY NEVER HAS IT IN HIM TO "SCARE AI!!!!!!!!!" HE LIED IN 154 OUT OF GUILT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT AI AND AQUA WANTED REVENGE ON HIM!!! SEE!!! I'VE BEEN!!! RIGHT!!!! I'VE BEEN!!!!!!!!!!

This was already in the leaks last Fri, I basically felt the same way about these back then

and I got every part of these right except for the part that Kamiki befriended them. I just couldn't picture the people who killed Ai or would actively go hunt their daughter down being his friend..

but seeing how.. much he seems to trust people, he used to be that way as a child, it actually all ties so nicely together.

I predicted that it was Nino and Ryosuke who went to the hospital and killed Gorou.

I predicted that Kamiki just wanted to send the bouquet to congratulate Ai but he couldn't go because he was nervous/sad from the phone call. I said that ever since I started drawing hikaai fanarts, you would have seen me going on and on about that, I drew them with this as the base!!!! The guy Ai chose wouldn't do such a thing as trying to get back at her!!! See??

I couldn't be more right!!! I am a prophet!! I should trust myself!!!! why am I so unsure of myself, really. I really, really did get everything right.

These must be all true. He's not lying about any of this. I've been analyzing this guy very very thoroughly so I know what I'm talking about.

I guess what's confused me was the latter bits, since Fri and even after I see the full images.

Kamiki smiles and says he never wanted to hurt anyone<this is really how I view him as well, this guy can't hurt people out of his own will...

However, Aqua dismisses Kamiki's statements as lies on the spot, and accuses him of having been unable to protect his own daughter. That he's been intentionally manipulated people to get what he wants. That would involve him causing people to kill each other without dirtying his hands.

Upon hearing Aqua stating "You wanted to kill your own daughter", Kamiki makes this really eerie smile (I kind of wish this is redrawn hshsh.. it looks like he's a demon spawn from hell, but this could REALLY be him being distressed yet AGAIN. this guy SMILES when he's that way. That's his coping mechanism. It's kind of hard to stare at that expression but that smile certainly ISN'T a happy one like the one we saw in 159. This is a really confusing habit he has. People are going to take him the wrong way but; sadly, it's become a habit of his...)

The scenes then shifts to visions of him manipulating nino and Ryosuke into doing what they've done with a smile. If this is really what's happened, then he IS someone pretty evil-

but now that I read it over I think that's just based on Aqua's interpretations about the guy.

Is what's being portrayed in those pages ACTUALLY how he is? Just yesterday, I theorized that Kamiki loves his children and has been doing whatever he's been doing for his children. I did have my reasons for making that claim.

We still don't know what his motives are!! Aqua doesn't state anything about why Kamiki would do such a thing if he's done so. Does he know anything about this??? Just what reason would make it.. enough to have someone kill the love of their life and their very daughter? What good would it do for Kamiki? For one thing, does he have ANY good reason to kill Ai at all? For having felt betrayed?? Then why wait out that long????? Killing their daughter? After having her live for, how long now? how old are they now? 15?? 16? Why now? Why would he??

The important thing would be just WHY he'd be doing all those things if he's really been so, so WHAT IS IT AQUA?? WHAT??

Forgot to mention this but in the beginning of the chapter, we have kamiki saying, Hm, but what did I do? Did I "stab someone?" did I "push someone off a cliff?" I never "did" "anything".

Then we have Nino going "Kamiki-san didn't do anything. He just talked about Ai. He talked about her so we(her and Ryosuke) wouldn't forget about her. That was enough to make us break."

OH come on. COME ON. HUH. I feel like he's never told them anything bad about Ai, he probably let out how much he loved and misses her, because he thought they were her fan and coworkers as a fellow member, I bet he was happy to befriend people who knew about Ai because they share a common interest together. With it being his favorite person in the world even while he was dumped.

What a stupid reason, Nino. You brought everything upon yourself. I can see that now.

I do think.. kamiki has some sort of power that causes people to grow insane or act out, that could have had some influence on ryosuke and nino in a way...

but again, why would he try to kill his lover and his daughter even if he can use it with his own accord??? Even if he's using those powers now?? Would he use it to do those respective things?

Even if he has those, that shouldn't be all there is to it. According to Kamiki, they were already obsessed with Ai when they approached him and YEAH! Makes sense?? They came to him first, probably already aware that he was Ai's lover?? He isn't responsible for them hoarding those kinds of feelings!!

Coming to think of it, I find it really strange that he still hung with nino being the complete wreck she is. Oh wait, I guess he still could. Ryosuke killed Ai and Nino doesn't seem to have played a part with that. Nino was there with Ryosuke when Gorou died but she's not the one who's pushed him off a cliff. Ryosuke's the really...horrible one. He had a pretty gf like nino JUST WHY. Then again, nino was obsessed w Ai too so they were a match. I guess Kamiki hanged with Nino thinking she's just another victim who wants Ai back or whatever. He still hangs with her when she says that are super creepy like she can't forgive Ruby if she surpasses Ai though.. Perhaps he's really bad at letting people go.. OH, YEAH. He was always pretty attached to people as a child. Okay, I got that part cleared up on my own. Stream of consciousness is like this. It can happen.

Continuing on!! Aqua says Kamiki is a "despicable, selfish liar, worse than a murderer". Even Kamiki can't smile hearing that. If he ISN'T one, then that'd hurt.

Well, he responds again, saying:

"Ah, yes. You're the same way as I am. You share those same eyes I have. The type of eyes that grant the power to persuade others into believing you. The eyes that grant you charisma, befitting that of a star." Then we see a panel with Ai, "The eyes of liars, that fool, and make others submit to you"

he must be thinking of what Ai's told him when she talked to him about having the same eyes. (CH 140)

"You've been inciting people just like I have, right? Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?"

"It must have felt good to use your talents to impact the lives of others, right?"

I'm not sure if this is a taunt/mockery or just him stating the facts as a liar/a black star user himself.

If he's thinking about Ai... then it can be the latter. She approached him saying "they are the same". He could be thinking about that.

Actually, he's strangely calm. His emotions are a bit hard to read on this one, I'd say it actually feels collected compared to what he's heard.

This could actually be sympathy or empathy...

I didn't take it that way when I first encountered it, so I felt.. Kamiki could be lashing out a bit but no. That doesn't seem to be it.

Hey, he really never gets angry. He actually looks a bit sad depending on how you look at it, I think he may be feeling a sense of guilt in that particular panel where he says "Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?", the one where he glances down,

just like how he talked to Aqua in 152, "It's a lie, isn't it? it's because they're important that you keep your distance from them. why would you go that far to bottle yourself up?"

This guy understands his son really well. In fact, I think he may be trying to say, "we're the same=I understand the way you are, we're on the same track" the way Ai's done for him. That's what was his salvation.

Aqua does not take this well.

He says yeah, we're both terrible beings, but Ruby is "different".

Oh, and the rest.. what's stood out to me is the panel where Aqua goes,

"sending love to the one who desires for love" as he describes what Ruby is doing. Kamiki shows up in that panel.. This is what Ai wanted to do for him.

and there's a panel that comes up that shows Ai with the twins that follows right after saying:

"it's the eyes of the one who desires to love someone"

This is really sad. I think that page actually indicates Ai desired to love him while he desired to be loved from Ai. That happened both ways. It was a nice page.

Yeah, and Aqua points his knife to his dad like a toy gun saying

"You must disappear right here and now, for Ruby's sake."

I don't think Aqua's actually up to stabbing him, actually? If he's pointing the knife at him like that, I think it's more like he's warning him to stay out of their way forever, scram, or just go die off on his own.

Both of his eyes are white, he's not going to kill him with his own hands, rather, he's going to make him go away.

So I don't think next chapter would start on a fierce note? Kamiki does not seem like a guy that gets agitated so easily. He STILL never once got angry in this chapter as well. He's still pretty sweet to his son. I'm not being biased on this, the way he talks has always been really soft. If this were to be an anime, you'd hear how he'd talk and see whether if he has thorns in them but I don't think it's that way at least, I think he's trying to be understanding??

This guy is soft. He will not put up a fight. I don't know, he may jump off that bridge and try to die maybe. If that's what his son wants? Move out of the way? He doesn't seem.. angry about it all. He's not even protesting.

In the end, the only thing that got proven in this chapter was that Kamiki DID NOT DO ANYTHING IN A PHYSICAL SENSE, AND HE DIDN'T TRY TO SCARE AI.

the fact about him manipulating people and lying to get his way, I think there's low chance of it being applied for Ruby and Ai's case.

I think he really didn't have a clue Nino would attack Ruby? If he's considered her as a friend?

what are the basis of Aqua picturing him that way? He must really hate his dad. There is no way he could have seen such things happen. Unless Tsukuyomi told him about it?? there is no proof that it's what's actually been taken place. Kamiki could have incited people, or influenced others, yeah, but I don't think he did anything to Ai or his daughter. Again, I think he loves his family. Why wouldn't he??

Until things get cleared up more, I???? I ACTUALLY?? think Kamiki's taking it in a really calm manner despite all the things he's being accused of??

This is very long, but that is all for now!!

Oh, this was worth revisiting and analyzing. There's a lot more I see when I scrutinize it like this!!

[scapegoated-if]

i have been debating myself over the last couple of days about if i should send you a rant about the if or not, but i've seen quite a few people do it already and you've been pretty nice to them, so!

i've got to start by talking about the mc. like many people i was pretty hesitant about the gender-locked & race-locked thing (you must be tired of reading this by now lol), but i read your answers to previous asks and, yeah, i get it. i guess we're all so used to colorblind and genderblind ifs, in which those stuff change a couple of segments of the story at most (which is fair, since social justice isn't really a main topic for most ifs), that it's kind of a shock to find an author that cares so much about the accuracy aspect of the if. and it's refreshing, honestly! at least in scapegoated's case, because we can see very clearly why is the mc a white european woman. i also kind of love how you chose which countries she can be from and decided to give them little special options that make mc feel so... real (like the option to be able to having lent the book to leon)

also, i adore her. i really, truly, absolutely do. it's only been the prologue but?? she's THE moment. her making the director of the movie audition for HER?? iconic. i love her dialogue options and replayed the demo so many times (literally lost count) just to pick a different one each time. teasing!mc is my favorite!! and, god, i just love it when i'm reading an if and the mc is immediately my favorite character. i've read way too many stories in which the ROs were more interesting, or it took me a while to warm up to the mc, but scapegoated's mc got me hooked from the beginning. i just KNOW everyone who met her in the 60s and got to live until the 2010s/2020s got some anecdotes of her being a bad bitch and tell them on talk shows and interviews and shit, and get the youngsters longing for a time when she was alive. i knowww she's a fashion icon! even if she doesn't care about her appearance it'd be considered a fashion statement (isn't that lowkey the whole point of grunge?) and she'd be all over pinterest, tumblr and shit. like i'm sorry for the ramble but i cannot imagine her as anything other than a timeless icon. and i'm right

i'm also figuring that if she's killed by a crazed-fan-turned-serial-killer (or serial killer who just happens to be a crazed fan?) at 24, for a mistake she did not commit, she'd also be faded to become one of those tragic figures of talented, beautiful young women the world still mourns even decades after their deaths, such as marilyn monroe or sharon tate. i know i'm getting a bit ahead of myself, but i can't help thinking about it, and it's so heartbreaking i just might make a save with the sole intention of killing the mc, lol (there are survival skills stats so i'm assuming mc can be killed, right?). i still love you girl, just thinking about those documentaries and "fix-it" tarantino movies!

i actually intended to talk about the other characters who were already introduced and about the if itself (a 60s-rockstar-hollywood-hippie-slasher-romance if, with dialogue so good i actually believe the author knows what they're doing? i might just die), but i think this is already getting long enough and it's already late enough where i live, so i just wanted to say i love your writing and i looove scapegoated already! might still send an ask talking about other characters tbh

I love reading all your rants! I'm just enthralled that there are people out there equally as passionate as me about my writing. It really touches my heart!

I'm really glad the MC's icon status is coming across. I'm even glad that any of you feel like this has the late '60s-70s vibe, because I was so conscious of being deliberate with everything I wrote. It just feels so rewarding to be understood and seen by you, so truly thank you.

Where deaths are concerned, I can neither confirm nor deny!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the other characters and the IF itself, so if you ever find yourself needing to vent, my inbox is always there! Thank you for reaching out!

Stay groovy!

[illululusion]

I have not been normal about nerdy prudes must die since it came out so it seems its time for me to write my analysis of 'the summoning'.

I will put a cut down here because holy shit i did not think i was this normal about them this is long. also spoilers for nerdy prudes must die!

Now the summoning is what I would consider the climax of the show.* The scene answers the big questions of the show. Not by just stating the answer like the mayor does, it shows us. it also shows us the oh so beloved oh moment of Steph knowing she loves Peter.

The scene also uses some form of chekov's gun multiple times.

We've been told that the school was built at what used to be a black altar. this scene shows what such a black altar allows someone to do. especially in combination with the book.

A literal chekov's gun, the gun Grace stole and then Steph got is heavily implied to be used. (finally)

As i've stated before the love situation. We knew Steph and Peter had something going for them but this only confirms it.

THE PHONE! Steph thinks her phone is the thing she cherishes most, which is not a big stretch, we've seen her be willing to suffer injury to protect her phone. (a lovely little detail)

they setup Grace using the book against dirty dudes.

I may be missing something whoops but yeah,

now the scène itself has a lovely buildup. First the three are in very low energy summoning the lords in black. The frightened energy is just seeping out of them, you know this is their last resort. Then the lords in black appear, from a pure darkness, with a high energy slightly discordant song (the piano and the guitar clash a slight bit). This stands in contrast with the slow piano music under the teens throughout the scene. Within this song the lords in black seem unsurprised by the situation, they seem elated even. They also clearly state they are not forces of good at most they can be considered gray ("us spawn of the Black and White") however the other pieces of lyrics are very much against that assumption.

Let's look at some of the dialogue a bit more closely why not? I wont be looking at all of the dialogue because thats a bit too insane even for me.

"Out of the depths of Hell and back" Us spawn of the Black and White" "Cover our souls with robes of black" "And take up the arms of night"

This seems to me even like they chose to be in the black, they are from hell they're from the night.

"Nibbleline wants his sacrifice And Wiggly wants his wrath We dance around the pentagram And take all our kingdoms back"

The previous shows intent: sacrifice, wrath, getting what they deserve.

"You summon us once you summon us twice, You gamble it on a roll of the dice"

Now this is what predicts Grace's dirty dudes must die. it also seems to imply that Steph's father among others used the book foolishly, the chance of victory seemed to outweigh the risks.

"The devil has won it can't be undone The book has all but closed on your life"

Shows that the lords know the teens are in no position to bargain. They know theyre above them.

Wiggly: Don't be so formal, Stephie. We're all paly-wals here. I mean, look at us. We even hold court in your own tongue and form. Go Nighthawks! (Lords in Black laughing) Pokey: Our true forms would melt your minds. WIggly: Don't frighten them, Pokey, you nasty boy.

This is what we'll see more in this scene wiggly is the medium between the will of the lords in black and the teens. An interesting detail. This also seems to be Wiggly trying to make the teens be less guarded. THeyre showing some sort of "goodwill", like "hey we could easily kill you but we're throwing you a rock let's see what can happen.". Additionally, this also shows them being more powerful than the teens again.

"The Lords in Black will help you yes You stupid silly girl Why help you with the Jagerman When we can help the world!"

Once again a show of power, why even ask for help they're already there just show them what you can give them. They have got all the time for anything, theyre more powerfull than just stopping that jagerman.

"Steph: What about a bargain? We'll give you whatever you want. Just get rid of Jagerman!"

A show that the teens have no other choice. THe fact they have heard the lords in black say theyre from hell doesn't matter anymore. They're at a low point.

"Whatever we want we want we want Whatever we want we get Whatever you want you want you want Forever in our debt"

no other way to say this other than: "you fucked up kids"

Wiggly: "Oh, you'll hardly miss it. We just want what you cherish most."

hmmm understatements are fun. I love these paradoxical statements.

Wiggly: One of you must give up the thing you treasure above all else. Pokey: Do it, or die!

Once again a lovely power statement, though that's not what I found interesting. The interesting part about this is that they only ask for ONE of them fo give up what they cherish most. They could ask for way more, they've made that clear. So why ask for only one thing?

"We don't give a shit about your phone"

This is the one moment I feel like the lords in black loose their composure. My hypothesis? they don't like people lying to themselves when something is very clear.

"The Lords in Black the Lords in Black call us"

The chorus sing the lords in black call us, WHO ARE THE CHORUS I NEED TO KNOW.

"Out of the depths of hell and back Us spawn of the black and white Cover our souls with robes of black And take up the arms of night You summon us once you summon us twice You gamble it on a roll of the dice La la la la la la la la la la The devil has won it can't be undone The book has all but closed on your life"

JUSt one thing: A lovely circular closure to the scene.

OKAY thats the dialogue wooooo (theres more to be said about it probably but also I just My brain want to get to the next part.)

Okay Okay okay okay now for the fun part!

The lovely staging and costume and its so wonderfull.

So in the above image we can see the lords in black as well as the teens. As i've stated before the lords in black like to make a show in power and the dynamics are very much powerless vs. allpowerfull.

Now what the positioning on the stage does is show this contrast as well. The lords in black are all over the stage standing, moving, dancing. High energy high standing. This while the teens are sitting on the floor, all together, they're as small as they can be in this setting. This shows how little power they have at this point.

The lighting as well as the costumes adds a lot as well:

See the teens here? no special lighting aside from the effects of the lords. This is in incredible contrast with the lords. colourful and bright. This is similarly the case with their costumes, the teens all have quite plain clothes, nothing special for a costume definitely, we do have the more unique clothing to define each character** but that falls away once you look at the lords:

Wiggly: bright green light (so much fun green isnt used in stage lighting often i am in love), Green clothing, a suit with glossy pants a crown and of course the wiggly doll in the back.

Nibbly: SO PINk, but also fleshy pink somehow. the lighting isnt as obvious but it is still pink. here the sparkes return. The giant lolly. just the giant lolly.

Blinky: Interesting choice to have the face as obscured as it is. once again i cant say the lighting is very obvious but it is there. The purple orange colour contrast makes them stand out. when in comparison to the others his costume isnt as showy.

Tinky: HOLY SHIT THE EYESHADOW. which isnt visible because.... yes the lighting! yellow lighting! the outfit isn't as sparkly but because it is the brightest outfit of them all I doubt that would have been neccesary. It keeps the balance. I am also Biassed I love this getup.

Pokey: once again: LIGHTING! blue! but also, Pokey I feel is the least obvious lord in black in the scene, the positioning on the side of the stage across from Tinky the yellow and blue contrast how fun. especially as Wiggly (green) is in the middle. just so good.

I just wanted to add some more because look at how wiggly is so much higher in this scene, he needs to look down on the teens, but doesn't do that often, not even bothered to look at them wow. Also quick note wiggly seems the most bothered by the summoning, wonder why.

And whenever all of the lords are singing with their discordant choreography, the lighting goes all disco and far brighter. A great detail to show they're individuals but are similar. see how the light is not green here? yeah that happens whenever all of the lords are speaking.

All in all I think Nerdy prudes must die is now in my top three favourite starkid shows. and I will be using the lords in black as inspiration in the play I'm in currently as well because this is exactly the type of thing we were looking for. and also I am not going to be able to think about anything but this show for ages.

I highly encourage anyone to give their opinions or whatever they noticed because I need it I would love to hear them. GO NIGHTHAWKS!

1* Now this comes at a relatively late time in the (already very long) show. At the 2 hour point we've been following our dear cast for around 4/5ths of the show. Now keep in mind this is doesn't matter much, but I think it's interesting that they chose to have the climax at this point. The play being as long as it is means they had to have been very confident in their ability to keep the viewers attention and especially with the slow buildup.

2** OH MY GOODNESS I JUST REALISED HOW WELL STEPH AND PETER's PALLETTES WORK TOGETHER. like theyre both earth tones. the green and brown fit together so well, and then you also have the patterns, different but still similar enough to not clash.

[johnny-depplyloveyou]

[Spoilers] Methods to check Gale's true attitude towards godhood to prevent his “Sneaky God” ending (with a full list of dialogue options that determines his human/god ending)

Several people mentioned that they are playing on console and therefore can't check his flag status in my last post about using console commands to avoid his sneaky god ending(it is where you reject his proposal of ascending together in the boat scene, although he acted convinced but will then leave you and ascend to godhood alone), after searching through dialogue files, I found that it's actually possible for all players to check which ending he'll get after you have done his act 3 scenes(book scene, meeting Elminster, meeting Mystra, boat ride scene), but that involves killing him, which is not optimal :((...

So here's how you do it: first, send him to camp, enter turn-based mode, use your party members to kill him in one turn, switch back to your avatar and cast "Speak with Dead" on him, and ask him: "What were you trying to achieve?", if his answer is "Seeking... Karsus' power... failed..." then he's going to ascend at the end of the game, if it's any other answer, he'll remain human. Now revive him or load a save before this event!

You'll need to redo his Act 3 scenes if you got the Karsus answer, and if you want to know which dialogue options you need to choose to ensure he's convinced, I gathered a list of options you need to pick or avoid under the cut. If you really don’t want to kill him, you could load a save right after his act 3 scenes and view dialogue history to count options you chose with each flag and figure out which ending you’ll get.

If you are playing on PC, you have progressed too far in the game and don't want to redo the entire Act 3 when you find out about this, or you just want to see other endings of him with your character without replaying the game, here are some console commands for you to alter his ending using Norbyte's BG3 Script Extender’s console([X]this is an old version with a config file that enables the console, it will automatically update once you start the game, or you need to manually edit the JSON file if you download the latest version from the first link). These codes should still work during the scene when you defeat the Netherbrain before his part starts.

To get the normal human ending, copy and paste the text below in the console repeatedly until it returns a 0

Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_RejectedBeMyGodProposal_de72eaa6-c6f4-014c-b1a2-213c243c1dba", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("ORI_Gale_State_AcceptedBeMyGodProposal_3d452ca4-14e6-176a-88ad-47d0ef8271d3", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_WantsSurrenderCrown_4f748986-27db-df27-bd9d-115c101ab015", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_Event_PushAwayFromCrown_303eeb6d-22cb-4832-a186-f366a4a6eacc", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) print(GetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_SwayedTowardsCrown_76150a10-511d-4eeb-b263-46994bab0b48", GetHostCharacter()))

To get the normal god ending, copy and paste the text below in the console repeatedly until it returns a 1

Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_AcceptedBeMyGodProposal_3d452ca4-14e6-176a-88ad-47d0ef8271d3", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("ORI_Gale_State_RejectedBeMyGodProposal_de72eaa6-c6f4-014c-b1a2-213c243c1dba", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_WantsSurrenderCrown_4f748986-27db-df27-bd9d-115c101ab015", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_Event_PushTowardsCrown_96fad101-7c29-495c-91d3-3645b30c2bab", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) print(GetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_SwayedTowardsCrown_76150a10-511d-4eeb-b263-46994bab0b48", GetHostCharacter()))

To get the sneaky human ending, copy and paste the text below in the console repeatedly until it returns a 0

Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_AcceptedBeMyGodProposal_3d452ca4-14e6-176a-88ad-47d0ef8271d3", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("ORI_Gale_State_RejectedBeMyGodProposal_de72eaa6-c6f4-014c-b1a2-213c243c1dba", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_WantsSurrenderCrown_4f748986-27db-df27-bd9d-115c101ab015", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_Event_PushAwayFromCrown_303eeb6d-22cb-4832-a186-f366a4a6eacc", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) print(GetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_SwayedTowardsCrown_76150a10-511d-4eeb-b263-46994bab0b48", GetHostCharacter()))

To get the sneaky god ending, copy and paste the text below in the console repeatedly until it returns a 1

Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_RejectedBeMyGodProposal_de72eaa6-c6f4-014c-b1a2-213c243c1dba", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("ORI_Gale_State_AcceptedBeMyGodProposal_3d452ca4-14e6-176a-88ad-47d0ef8271d3", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.ClearFlag("LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_WantsSurrenderCrown_4f748986-27db-df27-bd9d-115c101ab015", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) Osi.SetFlag("ORI_Gale_Event_PushTowardsCrown_96fad101-7c29-495c-91d3-3645b30c2bab", GetHostCharacter(), 1, 1) print(GetFlag("ORI_Gale_State_SwayedTowardsCrown_76150a10-511d-4eeb-b263-46994bab0b48", GetHostCharacter()))

If you wish to do this on other characters, change their flags etc., this list of all the uuids of items, character tags and flags in the game could be useful, and you could look into datamined dialogue files from this post by @roksik-dnd to find which flag you need to look to get things done.

You'll need to choose more options with "PushAwayFromCrown" than "PushTowardsCrown" for his human ending to work, for his god ending, you should choose equal or more amount of "PushTowardsCrown" than "PushAwayFromCrown". You do not need to choose every possible option or ask him to seek Mystra's forgiveness to get his human ending. u/airydandelion explained this mechanism in detail in their reddit post, you should check it out if you want to understand how this works!

Dialogue options with the "PushAwayFromCrown" flag

In the discussion after you give him The Annals of Karsus

Romanced with Player

That crown is an abomination, Gale. I don't need a private conversation to understand that.

Not romanced version

I thought you were past this kind of temptation, Gale. You know exactly where such over-reaching leads.

Or to destroy the next wizard who attempts it. The attempt would kill you as it killed Karsus.

(after choosing "This is no ordinary artifact, Gale. Do this and you'd challenge the gods themselves.") Wallowing in the dirt? Is that what our time together has meant to you?

(Mystra is Player's deity) What you're suggesting is blasphemy. You'd be wise to banish these notions from your head. ['Gale -1']

(after choosing "Gale - I'm urging you to drop this. This Crown cannot be reforged." ['Gale -1'])You're still destined for greatness, Gale. But you won't find it chasing Karsus' shadow.

 (after choosing "Gale - I'm urging you to drop this. This Crown cannot be reforged." ['Gale -1'])Don't give up yet. There will be an answer - it just isn't the Crown.

(after choosing "Gale - I'm urging you to drop this. This Crown cannot be reforged." ['Gale -1'])You're deluded, Gale. The crown is clearly dangerous, as is pursuing it.

In Stormshore Tabernacle before meeting Mystra

Seek her forgiveness, Gale. It might be your only hope of curing the orb.

After meeting Mystra

if SwayedTowardsCrown=true (n(PushTowardsCrown)>=n(PushAwayFromCrown))

No, Gale. This all sounds far too dangerous - Karsus' magic must be destroyed.

if SwayedTowardsCrown=false (n(PushTowardsCrown)<n(PushAwayFromCrown))

(after choosing"Is that what you want?")  We're going to cure you - I promise. ['Gale 2']

(after choosing"Is that what you want?") You're a great man, Gale. With or without the orb. ['Gale 2']

(after choosing"Is that what you want?") A better incarnation of you, I hope. Not the impulsive wreck who unleashed the orb in the first place. ['Gale -2']

(after choosing"Is that what you want?") And what then? What will you do?

(after choosing "Sod redemption. With the Karsite Weave and the Crown, you could be a god.") You'd be more of a fool for chasing godhood. Take up Mystra's offer - it's the best way.

Boat scene

(Gale has not met Mystra in Stormshore Tabernacle) So much power will only prove dangerous. You should forget it.

(after choosing "I feel the same. Whatever you need of me, consider it done.") Wait. Perhaps I'm being too hasty... and perhaps you're overreaching.

(after choosing "I love you. But for the man that you are. Not the god you'd pretend to be.") Stop his protests with a kiss.

(after choosing any options other than "I feel the same. Whatever you need of me, consider it done." or "I love you. But for the man that you are. Not the god you'd pretend to be.", then ) You're already everything I need you to be.

Dialogue options with the "PushTowardsCrown" flag

In the discussion after you give him The Annals of Karsus

 You're a convincing man, Gale. The crown sounds promising. ['Gale 5']

(Shadowheart origin Dark Justicar route) Mystra is no friend of the Dark Lady. If you can dethrone her, you have my support. ['Gale 5']

(Player is a wizard) The pursuit of knowledge and power is in our nature. There's no question - you must do this. ['Gale 5']

In Stormshore Tabernacle before meeting Mystra

Make her squirm. Tell her the Crown will be ours soon enough.

After meeting Mystra

if SwayedTowardsCrown=true (n(PushTowardsCrown)>=n(PushAwayFromCrown))

Of course. ['Gale 1']

We're usually inclined to agree on moral matters. That's good enough for me. ['Gale 1']

Morals be damned - this is an incredible opportunity. You must take it. ['Gale 1']

I'm right beside you. Time to make you a god.

if SwayedTowardsCrown=false (n(PushTowardsCrown)<n(PushAwayFromCrown))

(after choosing "When you put it like that, it sounds rather easy...") I thought you were more ambitious than this, Gale. Why settle for mortality when immortality is on the table? ['Gale 2']

(after choosing "Sod redemption. With the Karsite Weave and the Crown, you could be a god.") You're right. This opportunity is too good to pass up. We need to get you that Crown.

Boat scene

(Gale has not met Mystra in Stormshore Tabernacle) I'm here to support you, no matter what you want. ['Gale 10']

(after choosing "I feel the same. Whatever you need of me, consider it done.") Kiss him.

(after choosing "I feel the same. Whatever you need of me, consider it done.")(Karlach origin without the second heart upgrade) You know I would if I could. But I'll sit with you as long as you'll have me.

(after choosing "I love you. But for the man that you are. Not the god you'd pretend to be.")You're right. We should not deny ourselves such a gift. The crown must be ours.

[tree1138]

Astarion Contradictions and Breakups

Major spoilers for Astarion’s personal quest, The Dark Urge questline, and game endings. 

When I was trying out different paths for how Astarion reacts to the Dark Urge questline something that stood out to me was the wide difference in responses Astarion has, as well as the way he contradicts himself. This essay started as a way of trying to explain “why does Ascendant Astarion tell you to take over the world when he immediately becomes a thrall” from a Watsonian (in-universe explanation) vs a Doylist (out-of-universe explanation) and wound up being a focused on; why does Ascendant!Astarion react so differently to when you break up? 

There are 4 opportunities to break up with Ascendant!Astarion; 1) refuse to become his thrall immediately after the ritual you breakup and have a follow up conversation the next morning, 2) become his thrall and break up with him whenever before killing the Eldar brain, 3) break up with him on the dockside convo at the beginning of the ending, 4) in the last scene with him say you want to break up at which point he doesn’t let you: “You're mine remember? The tadpole is gone, which means your future is mine to decide. How lucky you are that I chose you as my consort. Chose you to help me take Baldur’s gate, then sit by my side as I rule it. There’s no backing out now - we’ll be together forever. I can promise you that…”.  

Comparing breakup conversations with Spawn!Astarion after killing Cazador, Ascendant!Astarion responds with so much more spitefulness and defensive anger across the board, even at Spawn!Astarions most angry (breaking up with him in the literal last conversation) it doesn't match the anger and cruelty in senario 1. To me it reads as him wanting to make the player character just as hurt and upset as he is after a very emotional day and the lines get really nasty:

He then won’t say anything but “why the hells are you bothering me now” until you do 3 long rests which stands out considering if you break up in any other non ending scenario he’ll talk to you pleasantly afterwards. 

That conversation days afterwards is really interesting where his “goal” is to get you to agree to be partners in crime together, and in doing so is the most honest he gets about how a romantic relationship would have been unhealthy:

In regards to love It's really interesting what Astarion will say about love during the conversation where he asks you to become his spawn:

If the pc expresses insecurity about being a spawn he’ll reassure them and say he loves them, in a way that deliberately parallels his Act 1 seduction conversation down to the way that he starts with a degrading pet-name “what can I do for my dearest pet” vs “here’s my little treat with their cheeks all flushed”.

Just like the seduction scene he wants the pc on his side and attached to him, but if you push back on him during this conversation its clear he no longer believes in love just power exchanges:

If the player stays together with Ascendant!Astarion a dialogue option is that he’s seem distant since the ritual, and he’ll imply it's due to his new powers but he does that looking to the up and right that others have mentioned he does when he lies. What makes more sense and is better character writings is the Watsonian answer of: killing all your siblings and 7,000 others (including people Astarion regretted victimizing and then had to look in the eye and condemn to death) will fuck a person up. He knows his hands are bloody so he has to believe he got everything he wanted, and he did really want this because if you leave it up to him he will chose to do the ritual vs just killing Cazador.  

I think Astarion has to believe he is better (which in his view means more powerful) than his past self as part of believing the sacrifice was worth it. In scenario 2 he’ll say this if you bring up his past self:

What’s a lot more interesting is if you bring up his past self in the morning after conversation of scenario 1 he’s genuinely shocked and caught off guard:

What I found interesting was Astarion talks in the same way about how the ritual was worth it and the cool new powers he’ll totally get as he does advocating for endings that are bad for him. If you become the Absolute leader Astarion becomes a thrall just like all the other companions whether you do it on your own or in Bhaal’s name. For all his talk about Bhaal’s army being “an unsurpassable dowry” and how he’ll command it, he can’t do jack shit if the player defies Bhaal and then either kills themselves or becomes fully possessed by Bhaal.The Doylist answer is Larian games just have a very limited amount of endings and the characters are forever stuck at lvl 12 , the more interesting Watsonian answer is Astarian is lying/exaggerating out of ignorance or because he really doesn’t have a clue of what to do next and is trying to cover for that.

The whole ritual plotline is very obviously Astarion continuing the cycle of abuse vs helping others, the abuse Cazador inflicted was akin to the abuse he suffered from Vellioth, down to Astarion commenting that Cazador’s rules came from Vellioth. It's also clear that Ascendant!Astarion has processed none of his trauma re: Cazador, after the ritual he says “I will not think about him. I don’t want to even say his name” and he shouts at you to be silent if you mention Cazador when you break up in scenario 2. I personally think Astarion sees you staying with him as a spawn degrading because he was degraded and abused when he was a spawn based on a line he has if the pc is cursed to go mad with The Dark Urge, where he relates too much to the character.

I think the DnD rules of absolute morality that vampires are extremely evil is a boring answer to why Ascendant!Astarion becomes possessive and controlling, especially since Larian has pushed against that theme throughout the game. Yes Astarion has an Act 1 line about how vampires don't turn spawn into full vampires because they don't share power, in my opinion that line falls flat when considering will have kind and supportive dialogue to the player in a number of other Act 3 quests. Whether the its the Watsonian answer that Larian wasn’t going to rewrite large chunks of dialogue when there are Act 3 quests with no companion reactions or the Doylist answer that he is just extremely possessive and has attachment issues about the threat of you leaving him is an interesting dilemma.

In regards to scenario 4 it's a fucking huge contrast to Astarion's whole character arc about learning to trust and being around someone who respects his boundaries and consent, where here doesn't respect the player's boundaries or consent. It's such a contrast to scenario 3 that happens right before it where Astarion says "We have served our respective purposes, we're free to go wherever we wish" and doesn't mind you breaking up with him as if your relationship was a strategic alliance. It's also the clearest contrast from his pre-ritual dialogue of "we're a team. If I become all powerful, then we become all powerful" because he's taken away all power from the player. The Ascendant romance is not subtle with most of the romance specific dialogue being themed around an extremely toxic D/s relationship where the Narrator explicitly says he’ll see you as degrading himself by being with him as a spawn which feels like it was added to remove any ambiguity about what Astarion feels.  From the way he says “on your knees” before he turns the player character, the way he calls you “bad boy/girl” if you fail the check to see his thoughts, and that infamous line about sitting naked on his lap.

Between the heavy message of power corrupts and how the rest of his ending dialogue is about how his evil future plans will be so fun, it's a clear callback to an act 1 conversation:

tldr: I don't think that corruption is as fun or as freeing as you thought Astarion, but he doesn't have to confront that fact if you're "lovers forever, until the world falls down"

[ali11125]

god i really should post something here before my blog disappears into obscurity

um um um

KING OF SOPH FLUFF WIP

before you ask: no i have not proof read this, yes i wrote this about 2 months ago and havent read it since, no i will never finish it cause its a shitty plot in an au i don't give 2 shits about, yes nothing makes sense because i was probably high when i wrote this, no i dont even remember what happens, no this is not a testament to my general writting style i was trying something different and it failed, please let this flop, yes this entire thing is "he would not fucking say that" but also im new to fandoms/fanfic writing, can you tell im nervous to post this?

CW: none

Word Count: 1,062

The snow as it hits the ground

The gentle snowfall in the Kingdom of Skill was never something surprising, yet to Brent it was always a nice welcome to the day. While the cold was never his favorite, he could never deny the elegance a fresh coating of snow brought to the kingdom. Or perhaps he favored the way snowflakes gently whisked to the ground, or maybe it was the found memories he had with his family before-

A gentle knock stopped him from finishing that thought. Slowly, he rose from his perch at the window sill, and walked over to answer the door who's knocking never stopped. He pressed his hand against the door as he opened, making sure to do it as slowly as possible–it had become a habit to do so for whatever reason. Well he knew the reason, he just didn’t want to admit it.

As soon as he saw it to be Sophist, he opened the door fully, a warm smile crossing his face without his command to. He knew Sophist was never fond of the snow, if anything he actively hated the cold. Though anytime he pressed for answers all he got was “some shit in my past,” which just had to be as vague as possible. Before Brent could truly question it Sophist welcomed himself into Brent’s room, plopping himself on his bed as the complaints came in immediately. “Bro why does it have to be snowing, now I can’t get anything done.” The annoyance in his tone was undeniable, though maybe a bit of sarcasm was sprinkled in.

Brent gave a slight chuckle at the absurdity of it. “It’s literally only like two inches, it's not even that bad.” Sopshit chose not to take the easy jab at the lude joke Brent set him up for, instead responding to the comment with an answer he knew Brent already learned, “Well I can’t go to my observatory cause its snowing, plus its like super cold in there, and you know I don’t like the cold.” 

“You’re living in the Kingdom of Skill, it snows like every week.”

“Doesn’t mean I like it,” he replied, a bit too sly.

Brent sighed. He was getting nowhere with this. He walked over to his bed, taking a seat behind Sophist letting his head rest on his lap as Brent ran his hand through his hair. A comforting silence filled the room. Brent never minded these moments, he actually found them quite comforting. It was a warm reminder it wasn’t just those snippets of dialogues he fell for. It was the person behind those. A slight blush brushed his cheeks.

He could tell Sophist didn’t think the exact same. He nervously scratched at his wrist, eyes never quite landing in one spot as they jumped around the ceiling, sometimes stealing a little glance at Brent as he still stroked his hair, though that never lasted for more than a moment. 

Brent finally let Sophist out of his misery, killing the silence with a question he asked countless times before, “Why do you hate the snow so much?” Finally his eyes landed on Brent, staring at him blankly–maybe he was looking for something, or maybe it just took him a second to process the question–before snapping back to his fidgety state and answering the question, “Told ya some shit that happened, like, ten years ago.”

“What happened?” Brent’s eyes never left his own hands, them running through Sophist’s hair must have been the most interesting things. Sophist’s nails dug deeper into his skin, his mind seemingly unaware of the stim. His eyes never held still for more than a few moments, constantly glancing at Brent’s expression now definitely trying to find something. The silence, this time, made both uneasy. Brent interjecting, deciding to give Sophist an out this time, “-that is if you’re comfortable to share. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Oh how badly he wanted Sophist to tell him, yet he gave a reassuring sympathetic look instead of conveying it. He would never force his boyfriend to confess something he wasn’t ready to. (..Right?)

“I don’t know it was just,” He struggled to find the right word. He looked a bit more directly at Brent–at least he was making an effort. His eyes were never allowed to hold eye contact with his boyfriend for longer than a split second. “-It was just something. I don’t think I can explain it.” 

Brent hummed for a second before remembering he should actually say something, finally shifting his gaze to give a simple smile at Sophist as he spoke, “It’s ok, you can tell me whenever you’re ready.”

Both slipped back into the makeshift routine they so quickly fell into this position, neither truly wanting this moment to end, but both wanted something slightly more. 

Brent let the moment linger for a bit longer before readying himself. He let his hands slip out of Sophist hair–he so badly didn’t want to– and leaned back a bit, using his now free hands to brace himself. Sophist finally looked at Brent for longer than a few moments, trying to read what was on his mind. 

Brent finally spoke up, “Look listen we don’t have to if you don’t want to, but do you want to go outside, just for like, 15 minutes? Just me and you in the castle garden.” Sophist definitely wasn’t expecting that. His eyes immediately looked to the sheets surrounding him, this time tightening his grip on his wrist. 

The words came out of his mouth before he could tell them to not, “Um sure.” Fuck what was he getting himself into? Welp he was in too deep now. “But only for the 15 minutes.” 

Brent immediately perked up, his eyes scanning over Sophist’s face, surprised this stubborn ass man was actually agreeing to it. “Wait really?”

“Eh fuck it really don’t care right now,” Sophsit sat up as he tried to act not terrified. He stood up grabbing his hat and cap he hung at Brent’s chair when he first came in. “Now stop just sitting there before I take it back,” fake confidence was covering the statement, he just hoped Brent wouldn’t notice. Brent took the hint and, seemingly in a rush, jumped out of his bed to grab his own cape, joining Sophist by his side as the two walked outside.