#asking for friend

[noirapocalypto]

What does mermaid peen look like?

[ladysnows]

whose going to hold sara's flower crown while she beats the crap outta someone?

[loveable-sea-lemon]

has anyone written autistic vegas yet...

[t4tadrienette]

After how many failed job interviews you start to give up on finding a job and accept you're gonna live under a bridge

[scoups4lyfe]

Welcome to the Show -BD PPT Part 10

Again, I have ADHD and BD and can agree that yes, My ADHD symptoms sucked extra hard when added to the early BD onset.

The below entry shows (1) binge-eating and (2) OCD intrusive-esque thoughts.

[Journal entry]

October 1st, 2022

Sabbath, 3:24 PM

Last night I went to bed at about 6:00 AM. Today I woke at 2:30-ish. 

The first thing I noticed when I got out of bed was (1) I was very tired, (2) my neck hurt just a bit, so I slept on it wrong—not badly enough though—because it doesn’t hurt at all now, praise the lord; (3) hungry. 

There was a hunger about me. 

I remembered how last night like a desperate man I scavenged through our kitchen. I think it’s the mania making me hungry, because I just felt this overwhelming need to eat something. 

The caramel was gone, as was the jam, so I had taken an apple we got on wednesday that we bought from a farmer lol, and now it was all I had. So I ate about half of it. 

These honey crisp apples taste really good. I kind of chided myself for indulging in one though, because my stomach was burning pain—like scabs inside my gut, or internal bleeding—and I had trouble with even the idea of consuming any kind of solid food. My dad brought home instant mashed potatoes because of this. So, what in the world was I doing at 4:00 in the morning??? Eating an apple when I know solid food isn't going to go down well? (Doesn’t matter cause I ate it anyway, lmao.) 

But I was still hungry—so I ate old taco bell beef-corn tortilla hard shell—tacos that sat on the stove. (That can’t be a healthy dietary choice LOL.) After I finished one of them, I went back to my room, I don’t know to do what, probably waste time on youtube or with editing screenshots from Donbrothers episode 19, and man my stomach took to that taco like gasoline to fire. 

Almost immediately I regretted making that choice. 

But then an hour later I went back to the leftover taco bell, and had some of the dorito taco (not all of it), just maybe ⅓ or half. [Then I fvcked around and went to bed maybe a few hours later.] 

Today is sabbath—so y’know—I’m supposed to be resting. And I AM. 

Comma, space, however—

Well. There are just things that I want to do. I’ve gathered my sketchbook, [insert a bunch of writing journals and reference books] and also my pencil case. 

(LMAO.) 

Ngl though, the fact that it’s 4:00 PM had the burning—lightning-ous—feeling, back inside my stomach. I had it before I even started this journal entry, and I still have it now. Like my mind—or more aptly, my fvcking stupid-a$$ intrusive thoughts (Kyle <3) —  just kept repeating:

 “ah, the day is over, you didn’t do anything, the day is over, you didn’t do anything, the day is basically already finished and what are you doing? Sitting here on the couch knowing that you will never be able to do any of the things that you want to do, because the day is over and you’ve already done nothing. You’ve done it again. The only thing it seems you **are** able to do—  nothing. Isn’t that funny? Now you’ll have to try again on Sunday, and inevitably fail again. The day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over  the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over the day is over

 the day is over—” 

ENOUGH! 

And whenever I look at the clock, or think about the time, or even just see the shadows in the curtains, my thoughts do it all over again—and again—and again. 

Then I can feel the breath in my throat, and all the energy inside my stomach just is everywhere. Anxiety. 

(Not a great feeling lmao.) 

So yeah—I’ll try and come back here before I go to bed ( I mean, don’t count on it LOL), and so ….yeah. I got nothing else to really say rn other than, uh, see you later? (Lordt.) 

[entry end]

The above entry I think does a good job at showing binge-eating. It’s super easy for people with BD to end up with an eating disorder.

I fvcking fainted in college because I slept during the cafeteria hours so I was surviving on like…vending machine m&ms. Not to mention when I get in those depressive periods I can go full days without eating because I either can’t get out of bed or the idea of eating makes me nauseous.

And then there will be days where I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and almost like sleep-walk in a daze to the kitchen and eat whatever I can get my hands on no matter how sh*tty and unappetizing it is.

Anyways—all this to say that BD comes with extra baggage of mental illness 😵‍💫🤤🥴🤕👻👾👾👾👾👽🙀😮‍💨🫠.

Still cannot stop laughing at the youtube comment LOL.

"Wow! Bipolar people are human too!" Like yeah, who would've thought

🤪

Just goes to show how powerful and prevalent stigma is for mental illness -- but esp. for BD.

Hopefully this info helps get rid of that stigma >:/

....༼ง’̀-‘́༽ง

༼ง’̀-‘́༽ง mfer

If someone tells you they’re Bipolar, that can be a very real and very big thing. That means they trust you. So writing it off as, “that doesn’t matter to me” comes off as insensitive because it matters to US, bro. It fvcking matters to us.

I was watching a podcast where the speaker (who had Bipolar) was talking about their experience where they met this guy that seriously did not believe Bipolar was a real actual thing and thought those people needed to “get over themselves.” Which infuriates me to the SEVENTH degree. It’s also wild asf, but again.

Y’all don’t know SHXT when it comes to Bipolar

For those still asking this question:

tldr; y'all don't know SHXT about Bipolar. x2

"Y'all" including mental health professionals and doctors 🤪

naw fr though.

Normally I would be like "yeah, whatever" but using that as an adj can get tricky ESPECIALLY if you start using it to describe a person because then you might spread unintentional bias and misinformation onto others.

"Oh --Vegas is bipolar?" No. He is NOT bipolar.

Don't. fvcking. Use. That. ADJECTIVE!!!

So, Werewolves = Bipolar in a nutshell

(Let me explain lmao.) 

Werewolves have 2 sides to themselves — the human side, which is mainly present and in control, and the beast — which comes out every moon cycle or so, raises all sorts of hell, and then disappears. Always leaving the human counterpoint to deal with the aftermath. 

Humans that turn into werewolves prepare for full moons — often going into isolation so as to not hurt their loved ones, or irreparably damage their life, and the lives of those around them. 

With a good support system, a werewolf can live a normal life (mostly), where their other-self isn’t always wrecking havoc. For people with Bipolar, it’s the same. We are not always werewolves. We are often human. Our illness is cyclical — it will always have a new cycle, and it cannot be cured. When we have an “episode” — though no two bipolar people are the same; how we act, think, feel, and what we do can change. We are not separate from “the beast,” however. Both sides are very much the same person. Though they can be drastically — drastically —  different.  

In his interview with Rolling Stone, Ian stated (about one of the songs on his album): 

“— On “Miss Understood,” it’s a character’s diary entry where she fell in love with Ian but she kinda fell in love with MITO, too. It comes from personal experience; I want to date when I’m Ian, but there was one moment where she liked the darkness in me, which was weird because it’s like, “You don’t really know what this brings.” But she stuck around, and it was hard to be me in front of her. There was a sense of inferiority, for sure, because I know how different I am between my states, but also I was very cautious not to give my all in that [down] state because I’m not wanting to hurt someone mentally. So I’d just seclude myself. A lot of the songs in this album hit on this note.”

For the moon, Bipolar episodes are (as previously stated, perhaps multiple times) cyclical. They run in cycles — over and over and over again. The days come and go, but then there will always be that transition into a full moon, just as how the entire moon will also eventually completely disappear from sight during a New Moon. (Plus the connection / belief popular culture has with the superstition that a Full Moon brings madness with it / lunacy.) 

So we’ve finally come to the end of this PPT series…genuinely hoped this was enlightening to anyone it happened to come across.

If you have any other questions feel free to comment or dm me. 🥳

PREV

Journal Entries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

PPT Essay Extras: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7] , [8], [9]

Visual Clips (Depressive Episodes): (1), (2)

[jinxedwood]

Okay, so, I'm writing a HotD fic at the moment and it's such a weird experience for me because I'm writing an AU and I've never written one before. Sure, I've done the alternative timeline thing (tweak one thing and watch storylines fracture and work out differently - Battle Lines was that kind of story) but this is a straight up AU, in which I transfer all the characters from a magical medieval land to the modern world, and make them all Mafia characters.

This is a lot of WORK dudes.

And yes, I'm writing Daemon/Rhaenyra because I'm trash apparently.

It's kind of a family to almost lovers to enemies to frenemies to lovers thing, because I'm going to drag out the angst until the last possible moment. Because I'm mean.

(and I'm also doing waaaay too much research on mafia hierarchies, etc. I hope Special Branch don't have an alert hotline in Google)

[saint-soap]

???????????????? ????? ??????????

[thelaurenshippen]

watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[sweevi]

Should I watch Hazbin Hotel on Prime

[elliesbelle]

emily gwen, the creator of the sunset lesbian flag that we’ve come to commonly use, still continues to live in poverty.

multi-billion dollar companies have used their design and made profit from it, and yet they have not seen a cent for their creation.

i’ve been friends with emily for years, and i have not once seen them be financially stable the entire time. i’ve seen them homeless, unemployed, starving. right now, they need our help more than ever.

please consider donating to emily’s ko-fi, especially if you’ve used their design to create something and profited from it.

[goldiipond]

Top 5 women?

bro i can't even top one woman ha ha h[two drums and a cymbal fall from the ceiling killing me instantly

[kottkrig]

People liking your personal OCs is still such a crazy feeling, I've been doing this for years and ppl asking about them still fills my entire heart with warmth and idk how to handle it

You enjoy this fictional guy I made up for fun?? Whose only content is random artwork or writing made by me and a handful of other artists at most? They have no show/book/game with a large fandom, it's just one person with an art blog?? I love u

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

everyone say in the tags what their current custom discord status is

[derangedorange]

I hope he views fanart like this

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead