#ask la squadra

[chronicallyonline101]

BEST FRIENDS. BEST FRIENDS? BEST FRIENDS. BEST FRIENDS!?!?!? sure. best friends. they were roommates, too, actually.

[ask-prosci]

Gay. Gay faggot. Homo.

That's you, actually. 💛

[jjbabies]

How are the part 5 babies? I hope Giorno and Abbacchio are getting along well ;;

They’re doing just fine together! Abbacchio is in our older group with Bruno, so he doesn’t see Giorno much outside of recess. Of course, he did have a pushing problem…Poor little Giorno was finally learning to sit up when he got shoved backwards. We had to put Abbacchio in time out for that.

Outside of that little incident, the group gets along well. Trish likes to make the boys play with her, but she has a bad habit of hair grabbing. Her tiny fists are impossibly strong!

Our younger half enjoy nap time together by the bookshelf while our older half practice walking on their own! In fact, Risotto’s friend group have a similar split, but most are in the older groups. Pesci is the only one young enough to be in Giorno’s class.

[miumakio]

I HAVE ARRIVED WITH THE GOODS!!! Jjba oc art as promised >:]

These are work in progress pics, if that wasn't apparent, and I'll have the first time I drew them under the cut along with my rambling about them :]

I had to drag these up from the depths of my procreate (these are literally from the beginning of September) I have. NO IDEA why my art style had a weird shift since then, they look entirely different to me.

So ofc, because I ship literally all of my characters, they are ocs who I ship with jjba characters (shocker to nobody)

They're part 5 ocs specifically. Morticia (the woman on the left with the short hair) is a piercer, who shares a shop with Layla (woman on the right with the long hair) a tattoo artist

They both have stands that are semi related to their field of work, but neither are properly named at the moment.

Morticia can manipulate magnetism, so she can either launch metal objects, or pull them towards her (if you're pierced do NOT fight her, homegirl will take them things OUT)

Layla is a tattoo artist, who's stand allows her to manipulate the ink in people's skin. It's painless, and not for fighting, she mostly uses it for jokes or sometimes tattoo removals/cover ups (AKA she completely erases the ink from the skin, or can take the ink already in the person's skin and move it around to fix it however she'd like, but she cannot add ink to the skin with her stand. She does actually have to tattoo people

As for shipping, I did create a really silly little au that they're meant for, same part 5 characters, the lore is simply the mafia isn't a hot mess, Diavolo and Doppio are 2 separate people, everyone's paid well (la squadra isn't broke) and things are relatively peaceful, it's mostly just regular crime activity

SILLY PART, SOULMATES. Because I'm a huge sucker for soul mate tropes, and the concept was really funny to me, it's a soul mate au where whatever tattoo/ink your soul mate has on them shows up on you. Super simple, super basic, makes for funny jokes. I ship Layla with Doppio, simply because I think their dynamic is very cute, and Morticia with Leone and Bruno (you can have more than one soulmate they are BOYFRIENDS YOU CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE)

Some friends of mine also made ocs for this au, but I'm probably just going to speak on mine so I don't risk saying something incorrect about their ocs, but I'm totally open to questions about mine! I'd love to talk about them with other people, or even discuss if anyone else has similar ocs/wants to make something similar (proud supporter of oc x canon ships, I'm all ears about them all of the time)

Thanks for reading! Asks and dms are open as always, love ya!

[icerisotto]

Hi do you think you could write about la squadra and a new teammate who’s quiet and reserved majority of the time but one day they catch them laughing their asses off at one of formaggios really bad stupid jokes?

‹ honestly, i've imagined two scenarios this request: la squadra under diavolo's reign and la squadra under giorno's reign.

‹ it may look inaccurate regarding the gw timeline, but i'm using my headcanon timeline (which can be seen here) in which sorbet and gelato actually died in mid-2000.

‹ with that being said, double scenario!

⌦ warnings: gender-neutral character, mentions of death, mentions of depression, referenced violence, non-canon information, canon events.

➢ scenario one (diavolo).

☆ sorbet and gelato's death impacted the group in every single way it could. it blew their confidence, ruined their already-strained relationship with the boss, and brought shame to their name.

★ as a way to make sure they weren't trying to plot against him again, diavolo assigned a newbie to the team to halt any attempt of betrayal weeks later. a young, reserved and quiet person, enough to unnerve any traitor.

☆ it worked, as la squadra felt too uncomfortable around the newbie to make any other move. some of them even theorized that the newbie was sent to supervise them. naturally, their discomfort turned into hatred very quickly.

★ prosciutto deliberately hated the newbie because of their mysterious personality, even though he tried to keep his cool to preserve his image as the second-in-command. he'd never talk to them aside from missions, and would constantly use training or punishments to take his anger and frustrations on the newcomer.

☆ ghiaccio also openly hated the newbie and believed them to be a spy of the boss. he wasn't afraid of beating the shit out of the newbie if they ever cross his path or boundaries (something extremely easy to do, considering his mood swings). as a fellow, ghiaccio hardly acknowledged the presence of the stranger.

★ pesci is a gentle guy but loyal to his brother. when he realized prosciutto despised the newbie, he automatically avoided being seen talking to them. it didn't mean he was rude or cold like the others: he was willing to welcome the newbie instead of distrusting them over something they had no say in, giving them knitted gifts and food behind the others' backs.

☆ illuso knew how it felt to be hated by his teammates, especially because of his rough start in la squadra. he still decided to ignore the newbie's presence, much like ghiaccio but without the violence part. he simply distrusted them and refused to be friends with them, sometimes walking out of the room or into the mirror world whenever the newbie showed up.

★ risotto welcomed the newbie normally but lacked warmth due to his friends' deaths. he couldn't embrace the newbie as a true part of the team and only stepped up for them in extreme cases. in general, the capo kept his distance from the newbie and barely talked to them outside their working hours.

☆ formaggio was the closest friend of sorbet and gelato, almost a third party of their couple. he was miserable once the lovers died to the point he almost died of depression. a newbie wasn't what he wanted, not in the slightest. at first, he was hesitant and even resented the newcomer, but he soon overcame his grief and returned to his normal self. he's the only one to treat the newbie like a friend.

★ melone was neutral. while he also was very close to sorbet and gelato, he knew it'd be stupid to lash out at someone who was a mere pawn of diavolo's wicked plans. he was skilled enough to detect any malice in someone, so his suspicions died down after a few months. of course, he still kept his distance just for the sake of his friends' feelings.

☆ la squadra started changing their minds after a year went by without any incident. the newbie proved to be a strong-minded person, not giving up or cracking even though they went through many incidents and violent outbursts caused by the team.

★ some of them regretted their behaviors, some didn't. however, they all agreed the newbie wasn't trying to betray the team nor represented any risks, thus being worthy of their trust and decent treatment.

☆ the newbie was always accompanied by formaggio ever since their arrival as he was the only welcoming member of the team. they were extreme opposites: while the newbie barely talked, formaggio kept the mood bright.

★ during a celebration among passione members, everyone gathered at the bar as formaggio told them one of his silly, overused jokes. at that point, 2/3 of the team was drunk.

☆ formaggio's joke was interrupted by a cackle. everyone was surprised to hear the newbie's laughter for the first time, as they always looked neutral 24/7. some of them could recall hearing a similar sound at midnight when walking down the hallways, but who could think the newbie was responsible for that?

★ formaggio bragged about making the newbie show their soft side, happy to be the one to achieve this. pesci and melone laughed, illuso sneered, while prosciutto and ghiaccio were visibly surprised (although they pretended to not care). risotto remained stoic with a hint of a smile, secretly enjoying seeing his friends bonding.

☆ it still took them a lot of time to accept the newbie completely, but they were embraced after a long period. even though la squadra still felt hesitant around the newcomer, the display of humanity eased their minds. finally, they were ready to move on and let go of their grudges.

➢ scenario two (giorno).

☆ la squadra was livid once diavolo died. having a teenager controlling the mafia was concerning at first, but giorno's management deeply pleased them. they got raises and territories, all they ever asked for.

★ however, after cutting their main income (drugs), passione struggled to keep their balance. as a new alternative, giorno split the drug division and sent their members to other teams. that's how la squadra gets a newbie after so long.

☆ at first, prosciutto didn't appreciate the new member. he was stressed enough with five idiots under his belt, so another one was hell. however, he felt less grumpy once he came to realize the newbie was reserved and silent, something he appreciated. generally, he made small talk always related to work.

★ ghiaccio hated the idea since the beginning and vocalized his dissatisfaction very often. again, he'd throw hands if he ever felt disrespected or cornered. he still kept his distance once he realized the newbie was nothing like the others. they looked annoying in his eyes.

☆ pesci felt excited by the arrival of a new friend, that is until they met. serious people scared him, so he started avoiding the newbie much like he did with risotto, illuso, and ghiaccio in the past. prosciutto and risotto's serious face was enough for him, he didn't need anyone else scaring him (even if not on purpose). it took him a while to get used to their personality.

★ illuso didn't care much. he felt a little pissed about the disruption of their team dynamic at first but quickly overcame it once the newbie proved to be a decent asset instead of a crybaby or loser. in general, he didn't initiate any dialogue and felt relieved the newbie was reserved.

☆ risotto was secretly happy about the newbie's personality. from the hardheaded (illuso and prosciutto) to the silly (formaggio), weird (melone), coward (pesci), and violent (ghiaccio) members, every entry on the team was probation to the capo. he almost knelt and thanked god once he met the newbie, appreciating their reserved behavior. in general, the capo treated them like he'd treat the others.

★ once formaggio met the newbie, his new goal was to make them crack. he wanted to be friends with them and share nice moments. it became a full goal of his, and he'd spend 100% of his time chasing the newcomer everywhere they went while trying to squeeze a single smile out of them.

☆ melone, much like formaggio, became intrigued with the newbie's cold facade. he and personal space were enemies. he wanted to decode every inch of the newcomer's personality, often asking them personal questions to no avail. he cherished every nugget of information he got.

★ by the second or third month, everyone got used to the newbie's presence. some of them still felt hesitant around them but had some respect. pesci, melone and formaggio were the ones who actively befriended the newbie, even though they were stiff and quiet.

☆ somehow, the newbie accepted an invitation to play poker with la squadra after formaggio begged on his knees for them to join the game. even prosciutto got forced to participate by risotto.

★ a few empty bottles later, the game got serious and the bets started. melone had lost a bet and had to remove his shirt, revealing a so-then-hidden tattoo. it looked botched and silly. as formaggio made a nasty joke about it, the newbie snorted.

☆ all eyes were on them, as everyone felt genuinely surprised to see the newbie laughing so hard over such a silly joke. it was the first time they ever saw their teeth. tears of joy slid down their face, mostly because of how intoxicated they were.

★ even though they agreed not to make the newbie feel ashamed about that incident nor comment on it later, la squadra felt more comfortable about befriending them after realizing they only needed a little hand to be likable.

[aliensandanxiety]

oooo but what if la squadra were the mermen

maybe they could be caecilia-type merfolk so they'd be La SQUID-ra lol (and would fit Risotto since risotto nero is squid ink)

I mean this is also a tempting idea haha!

At the minute the characters I defo want as mermen are Caesar, Mikitaka, Kakyoin, Jonathan and the Pillar Men 🤔

Oh and Foo is a no brainer 😂

Bruno was tempting as a merman that just kind of hangs out and gives guidance to his crew. Mermaid dad.

[ask-sorlato]

Hello People!!

Been thinking about starting one of these for awhile and I finally found the courage so I'm starting an ask blog/fresh blog all together! Been wanting to for ages and I've also been inspired from my other favourite jjba ask blogs out here so I decided to join!

Anyways, without further ado, here are some rules and possible notes about this blog

As there isn't much canon of Sorbet and Gelato in the show like at all, this will be primarily headcanon based (I'll list some at the bottom)

I will accept some nsfw/spicy given that they are not too extreme (they are gay Italians, some spiciness is to be expected after all)

If I don't answer an ask straight away or at all, it's because I'm either busy with college stuff, burnt out, or the less likely option is that I may be uncomfortable with the ask (rule above this one)

No hate, otherwise Sorbet will set Gelato on you

Be nice pleaseee

Extra note before the Headcanons is that this will be set post-events of golden wind in an au where the La Squadra live and so do Sorbet and Gelato (I will further elaborate in the Headcanons)

And here are my Headcanons for them!

Sorbet is 33 and Gelato is 32

Sorbet can cook and Gelato is banished from the kitchen unless under TIGHT supervision

Gelato used to be in the army

Sorbet is really good with guns

Gelato is really good with knives

They are married (ofc)

Instead of dying, they managed to escape Cioccolata and Secco after having been captured on a complete whim, though not completely unscathed (they were both traumatised+left with a few scars)

Gelato is an unhinged, feral little-

Sorbet is the rational half of their dynamic

After Don Giorno defeated the boss and took over, they settled down (still kept in contact with La Squadra though, they are familia after all)

Speaking of which, they treat them all like their children with a few exceptions (I.e. Risotto, Prosciutto)

Sorbet is 6'0" and Gelato is 5'8"

These Headcanons will be updated with time. Anyways, hope you all enjoy! (:

(mod- @bustingitdownautismstyle)

[ask-la-squadra]

hey la squadra members rank yourself on a list from least to most gay (gelato and sorbet excluded because they’d stomp everyone)

after much discussion we have come to a conclusion, were all queer in some way but i think this does it from least to most

Illuso

Formaggio

Pesci

Risotto

Melone

Prosciutto

Ghiaccio

-Risotto Nero

[ask-squadra]

Can I put my balls in your jaws?

hey can i borrow ur balls i promise I'll give them back in one piece i promise i only need them temporarily. no i promise it isn't for babyface i promise don't even worry about it don't even worry about it -mel

[twiixr4kidz]

i have a criminal amount of la squadra headcanons in my drafts rn................................................. you guys have no idea what's coming.

[bucciarati-answers]

Did La Squadra survive?

"Well... yes. La Squadra survived. And, sometimes, my team has to work with them...

Last time, I had to work with this weird Melone guy. At first we were getting along, but then, he told me there was a little rumour around Passione that I could be a woman. And he also asked if I ever thought about getting pregnant or being a mother."

"It was WEIRD. The worst part was when he asked if 'I would ever be interested in carrying his kids for educational purpose'. That got me so angry and confused I zipped his mouth for the whole mission."

[dumb-teambucciarati-headcanons]

Stands interacting with La squadra

THANKFUL DEAD or grateful or whatever

Formaggio: very scared of the thankful dead, he doesn’t want to lose his “good looks”. The thankful dead likes to pull pranks on him by aging him when he isn’t expecting it.

Illuso: since he has a mirror stand, he looks in the mirror a lot. So when he first met prosciutto and didn’t know what his stand was, he nearly panicked when he looked in the mirror and saw that he had aged many years. That was the thankful dead’s way of introducing himself. Illuso doesn’t mess with prosciutto.

Pesci: he thinks it’s such a cool stand (because it’s his big bros)! He gets nervous when he uses it because he is usually his big bros partner out on missions. The thankful dead does it’s best to look out for Pesci.

Melone: melone is a big fan of how it ages people to death, being as crazy as he is …

Ghiaccio: is immune to the thankful dead and will forever rub it in prosciuttos face. He will say things like “I think your stand would actually make me look younger, that’s how immune I am to it.”

Risotto: thinks the stands name is edgy as fuck, and mentions that whenever the thankful dead is mentioned. Wouldn’t mind being aged to death because that’s really cool and his joints already hurt anyways. The thankful dead willingly poses for edgy goth photo shoots with Risotto.

Sorbet and gelato: one time they got hit with its aging power and they were both like “wow, you are still so attractive when you are old, at least I know we will grow old together and still be in love!” And a bunch of other mushy stuff couples say.

[ask-prosci]

Prosciutto Ask Blog. I guess.

Hello. :) You guys would know me under Prosciutto, but feel free to call me Prosci or Pros. Either or is fine.

This is a system ask-blog. Better yet, a way for me to have the opportunity to share my stories with people and cope with the realities of being here.

Reblogs are better than likes. This is just how Tumblr works considering there is no algorithm here.

cx

Blog Rules and Boundaries Below

This blog was inspired by both @bucciarati-answers and @inquirepannacottafugo.

Not all replies will be answered with art, but I'll try my best to keep up with it.

Answers may or may not be muddled with source memories.

Send whatever you want to send. I don't believe in a TMI.

If I am uncomfortable with an ask though I will ignore and delete it. If there are repeated asks that make me uncomfortable from the same person then you will be blocked.

With that being said just try to act with kindness. Please.

No bigotry, sexism, homophobia/transphobia, misogyny, anything of that nature.

I hate that this has to be added, but do not dehumanize me. It's okay to joke from time to time about some aspects of myself, but don't go as far as to say you will "yurify" me or recklessly make jokes about my death. I'm a very real person with very real feelings like the rest of you and this type of talk with someone you do not know is disrespectful.

Don't expect sunshine and rainbows from me. I was born a bitch and I plan on staying that way.

I'll most likely answer asks that have more substance to them. The more you give me to work with the more you will get in return. :)

Thank you for reading. I'm excited to see what everyone asks.

With that, I'll update this introduction post periodically. If you want to get more personal content from the system as a whole, head over to @thecavesystem. We reblog stuff there that's in relation to our source material or we share our funny little thoughts.

-Prosciutto

[la-principessa-della-squadra]

Hi princesa♡ it's been a while! how are you handling stuff?:) hope everything's going well 🩵

Hey Queen~🌟

Thank you so much for asking and sorry for the late reply!

Tengo botta! I'm keeping myself really BUSY so I haven't find the time to answer all the requests I've received!

I feel a little unispired these days! :(

I don't want to let down any La Squadra fan but writing while pretending to be 7 different people starts driving me nuts...

I don't want to publish low quality stuff...

I'm sorry :(

Btw,I hope everything is going well for you,my 👑!

-La Principessa della Squadra

[ask-cioccolata-and-secco]

hey choke oh latte and sec tho what’s ur opinions on the la squadra members????

“Hm. I see them as pathetic little wastes of life.. How dare they go behind the bosses back like that?!”

“I… I don’t really have any personal issues with them. I do a-agree that they shouldn’t have betrayed the boss…”

[squadrah]

So you had two asks about La Squadra being toddlers, but what about them being old/older men? Maybe in their 40-50's or as senile old people. And my mind ain't exactly wondering there, but what do you think they'd be like as dilfs?

I managed to find an old post where I was asked what they would be like as old man: here it is! You also reminded me that I had once written about them as parents in general, and I could have sworn I published it, but I ended up finding it at last in my drafts, so I'll make sure to queue it after publishing this ask!

That just leaves the question at the end, ehe... I will try to do these from the perspective of a young adult, probably a friend of their child(ren), while they themselves are in their forties and fifties.

Risotto: His sheer size and deep voice are already enough to set the butterflies aflutter, so the way he wears sleeveless shirts and dirty overalls at home is almost too much. He is best observed in the garage where he enjoys quietly working with power tools, and nobody can look at his work table without imagining him sweeping off the clutter to make room for them instead...

Formaggio: He ages so gracefully he looks like he could still be in his thirties, but the way he cracks open a cold one while giving clever responses and showing at least basic knowledge of just about any topic introduced hints at decades of experience in a variety of areas. Whenever he playfully manhandles his spouse in the kitchen, guests cannot help but chug their own cold beverages in vain.

Prosciutto: Never seen without his signature dress shirts and crisp trousers, and when he's around, the temperature always drops enough that all unnecessarily noise and frolic dies down. Most agree they would not want to live with him as their father, the bar is just too high in that respect, but nobody would mind him in a hotel chair with a bourbon in his hand and ordering them to get to work...

Pesci: At first he seems nothing special, especially because he's not much respected by his children, but as soon as he easily lifts something that he ought to struggle with at his size, and tells you how much he think it weighs by touch, the magic begins, and those who have gone on fishing trips with him on the weekend and watched him reel in that big bass are now smitten for life.

Ghiaccio: Whenever you meet him, he's either preparing to go for a run or has just returned from it all sweaty and glistening, and no real decrease of stamina to show for it. Going to the gym with him is a rite of passage; he will explain every machine and challenge you to various feats of endurance. Spotting is obligatory, and many hit the showers afterwards in greater frustration than they began.

Melone: That one anon ask of "your dad looks gnc af" sums him up perfectly, he is so impeccably and unabashedly A Look and An Icon that all his various issues are easily buried in a tidal wave of gender envy and lust. His children are so confident and well-educated when it comes to sex that their friends can only imagine what a wealth of experience could be gained from the fountain head.

Illuso: He always lets his luscious long hair down at home, physically and metaphorically, and exudes such minor soap opera antagonist vibes that his heckling his children and spouse come off as almost entertaining, a good example of how much people forgive to a pretty face and a nice tall figure. He's not above teasing his guests either, and you will either hate him for it or want to kiss him.

Sorbet: He's not conventionally attractive and seems to love his plants more than his children, but he has a certain Addams Family aesthetic about him that carries his dry wit and odd ways perfectly, especially when he's trimming his bonsai or is outside gardening in the shade in special gloves and up to his neck in dirt. You are welcome to indulge his obscure opera obsession, but watch out.

Gelato: That one extremely friendly dad that claps you on the shoulder and shoves a drink into your hand as soon as (and even before) you hit drinking age, and is always two seconds away from hugging you and kissing you on both cheeks in a fit of camaraderie and general mirth. Watching him grill sausages and cook in a big outdoor cauldron permanently changes your brain chemistry.