#ask archie

[team-aqua-official]

drinks the fuckijg water

this you?

[yourstrulyis]

He’s clueless, really.

[themarychain]

Saltburn: text post meme 🦌🔪🏰🍷🪽👑

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

[jaylynx1412]

I have a homophobic slur to say

[abiding-by-the-laws-of-color]

Um. Erm. What if I headcanon them as Indonesian. Smiles.

(Bonus sketches of Maxie’s cape/ alternate fit where his coat opens up to look like his ORAS design)

[paracosmicessence]

everytime I see this image I think of shadow ok bye

i see the vision

[b4kuch1n]

simulated earth (it does not matter)

transcript

[catyuy]

Bridgerton time travel to just before season one.

Anthony immediately breaks up with Sienna and starts arraigning things for Kate's family arrival. Before being reminded by his mother and Benedict that he is Viscount Bridgerton first and others can help the Sharma's get settled in England.

Kate tells Mary that they are going to England now and tells Edwina to forget all that she told her about marriage, and she'll help her find a love match. Once she gets married to Anthony, after a decent engagement period, she starts helping Daphne, Lady Danbury and Violet with items that require a lighter touch then her husband's.

Benedict finds Sophie and gets her out of Araminta's clutches. Then he helps Anthony with various legal/financial matters to support all of their family and friends in the future. He also continues his art because he loves it.

Daphne helps Sophie find employment in the meantime and works with her mother to set up other social matters that will help them in the future.

Sophie is using this opportunity to help Posy get away from her mother as well. Lady Danbury eventually offers her room and board as a Governess for her grandson Gareth.

Colin starts to publicly court Penelope. She insists that he still travel and start his journals, and they can have a long engagemnet. He of course brings back gifts for everyone, even people who aren't legally in his family yet. He also takes Albion and Harry under his wing and has them hang out with the rest of the Bridgerton men.

Penelope takes this chance to improve her spy network Whistledown sources. She also makes sure to set up her sister's with their future husbands and warns her mother that her father is in worse trouble then she suspects. She and Eloise bring Madame Delacroix into their spy network inner circle. She uses her new excess funds to help various friends that are or will be in need.

Simon immediately courts Daphne and secretly finances the Sharma's ship passage. Then he gets roped into helping Lady Danbury and her various "charity cases" (she swats him for that).

Lady Danbury does her best for her various family members. Improving her relationship with her brother, arraigning outings with Gareth and the younger Bridgerton siblings. While keeping an eye on her nephews James and Marcus. She also takes every chance to invite Posy but not Araminta or Rosamund over to her house. As do the Bridgertons and eventually the Featheringtons. She also takes an interest in a young Lucy Abernathy.

Eloise does her best to support all of her siblings and their soon to be spouses. Meanwhile she's helping Penelope with her spy network Whistledown. She's also subtly trying to get Cressida to be nicer and convince her to set her hat on Lord Debling when he returns. She also talks about her new penpal Mr. Crane and his love of plants.

Philip Crane makes it look like George and Marina got secretly married before he left for war. That way her children are legitimate, and they don't have to marry. He and Eloise start up a correspondence again.

Francesca Bridgerton worries about choosing between John and Michaela but they both reassure her that they love her and are fine with whatever she chooses. They all spend as much time together as they can knowing John's time is short.

Gregory and Hyacinth are frustrated by being children again but decide to use it to their advantage and get even more info for Whistledown. After, of course, making sure that they have regular outings with Gareth and Lucy. They might have to wait to be married but they are going to be around their loves as much is proper until they are all of age.

Lady Bridgerton is delighted all of her children are in love and working to better the lives of their friends. She works with Daphne on subtly bettering things in the Ton. And is open to meeting with Lord Anderson when he is in town. But she makes sure all of her children are being "proper" before marriage to avoid any scandals. She decides to make Portia an actual friend and help her with her husband wrangling. (she often assigns her sons or her sons in laws to keep an eye on him at various locations). Mary joins them when she comes to town. They all get tipsy at Agatha's on occasion to let off steam.

I'm sure they're all getting up too much more mischief, but I can't think of anything else to add. Or who else they are forcefully adopting helping.

If somehow Queen Charlotte traveled as well, she's getting her sons to marry their wives sooner and letting her children know she loves them. She is spending more time with her granddaughter. She hopes that things will be different but knows her death cannot be changed. She also engages Penelope in a long-distance chess match, with Agatha having go between to inform the other of their next moves. When he's having a good day she's having family meals with George and their family. She still picks her Diamonds but its not as fun when she knows the Bridgertons have the whole Ton rigged now. However, they do know how to get things done and she can appreciate that.

[threebooksoneplot]

what draws you both to jalice/makes you so feral about them as a ship?

you should know we had an entire meeting in order to answer this ask. no this could NOT have been an email (unlike new moon) 🤭

Secretary G took notes. they are as follows (read the bolded parts for a tl;dr)

we kind of see it as though jalice got the traits that edbella weren’t allowed to have, either due to their status as protagonists or because smeyer's mormon background causes her to view these qualities as too sinful/negative for her wholesome Waiting Until Marriage main couple. (examples: alice's materialistic, "shallow," hyperfeminine qualities, her character flaws (especially her manipulativeness), and jasper's aura and history of fucked up violence closer to what you'd find in traditional vampire stories/horror/adult gothics/books not written by a mormon author)

in terms of how much screentime the non-main-love-triangle canon couples get, their relationship is kiiiinda given the next-most weight to edbella’s (examples: jasper's extreme overprotectiveness, the New Moon chapter 19 moment where alice prioritizes jasper and bella is like “yeah I get it, I would do the same.”) basically smeyer gives jalice's relationship a lot of the qualities she finds romantic/ideal, (and which are either similarly romantic to us or entertainingly toxic/a good source of drama), presumably because alice is like her 4th-favorite character after the main love triangle and she wants nice things for her

we both really love how, superficially, as presented in the books, jasper and alice seem to have this almost “courtly love” that smeyer has described as "spiritual." yet when you look closer, their relationship has so many darker undertones—the deep codependency bordering on obsessiveness (mutual, but especially the way it manifests on jasper's end—"I will kill this random teen girl who witnessed edward's jean valjean moment™ because any means are justifiable when the ends are Protecting Alice"), the dark sides of both of their powers, the idea that jasper is only a cullen and/or only a vegetarian for alice's sake, etc. hell, even the fact that they're the only Cullen couple who we know had (gasp) premarital sex 😏 (I mean we assume rosemmett did too, but alas, they don't have that hilarious "carlisle convinced jasper and alice to get married" quote from smeyer)

partially summarized: "jasper’s general desperate willingness to sell everyone to satan for one corn chip if it keeps alice safe (carlisle: I know this and I love you)"

we're forever smug that the movies gave us even more jalice screentime (especially remarkable in such a protagonist-centric universe), including jasper being in the same grade as alice/bella/edward, and the extra jalice kisses in Eclipse and BD 🥺

what we wrote down as the “who’s protecting whom" phenomenon, as coined by G in this old ask. (shannon: "jasper is the toddler you've given the PS2 controller that's not plugged in")

we also like the characters individually. jasper is for the girlies with competency kinks—a stoic caretaker who speaks little and mostly expresses himself via acts of service. we also both love the way in which he needs protection from his own uncontrolled violence (slipping up and killing humans, suffering the pain and fear he inflicts, etc.) he is, in the words of our beloved @liceparade, the "line cook trauma boyfriend"

“It’s hot when there’s a fictional violent man who wet babygirl 😌” —shannon

and alice, unlike bella, genuinely loves being spoiled and bossing people around. she's brat-coded, she's confident and secure in who she is, her god complex ("I'm close enough [to omniscient]") causes fascinating conflict, bella eats drywall from sheer horniness at her merest movement, she dresses like a slut in the Mormon YA Novels and yet somehow escapes authorial condemnation, she has a sickass gothic heroine backstory, she's "annoying," aro started a whole war over her (eat shit helen of troy 🖕), she spaces out in public and has to be led around by jasper, she's one of the most powerful vampires in the world, she's in high school getting a C+ on her precalc test 💅🏻

it's appealing that smeyer frequently puts alice in the center of the series' various conflicts (james' singer and "one that got away," the accidental cause of all the drama at the end of new moon, one of aro's secret True motives for starting the conflict in BD.) this is mostly as a consequence of smeyer using alice as a plot device and/or deus ex machina, but it is in fact interesting

is alice jasper's morality chain? we love pondering this question via fic, meta, etc (especially because...alice ain't exactly a model of ethical behavior herself)

together, the two of them exhibit lots of classic tropes. they're grumpy x sunshine, chatty x silent, opposites attract, etc. to say nothing of that height difference 🥵

we love the yin/yang symbolism of a character with a horrific past paired with a character with NO memory of her past, who is focused on the future and all about potential. not to invoke an ancient phrase but POETIC CINEMA

the next note just says “POTENTIAL in general.” I assume we meant how all of the above stuff creates potential for interesting stories, conflicts, metas, art, fic, etc

G has brought this up in the past, but we love the irony of jasper, a character whose chief desire is to be left in peace, being soul-alteringly in love with the one character who will always be a giant glaring target through no fault of her own. hilarious

[rainbowpufflez]

Giovanni homophobia arc™️

[team-aqua-official]

Yes boss show that land who’s in charge!

[yourstrulyis]

ASKS ARE OPEN!!!

[eddiepeaches]

I’d love to see Archie showing off a snake she caught to her proud dad (Stede) and her scared dad (Ed)!

love this concept anon!! I love archie I love snakes

[flightyalrighty]

Wait the Archie comics aren’t bad?

[forbescaroline]

235 FAVORITE SHIPS OF ALL TIME (ranked by my followers) 88. archie andrews and betty cooper - riverdale

[dreammeiser]

My theory is that Archie’s an actual prince, he’s wearing a crown on his head as a child, Dream along is said to be the largest town in the “old kingdom”, which means there’s likely royalty and a ruler and there once was a leader but they hasn’t had one in a while, Archie’s said to be from “The Wonder void” and Earl was brought in to keep an eye on him and he’s a Jester, (which is often associated with royalty and are known for being quite intelligent despite their appearance and playful act and sometimes hird as entertainment or babysitters for royalty).

What if Archie’s the ruler but ran away?

You've pretty much nailed it-- there's some details that are different, but there were hints in his design, title, abilities, and even who his best friend is, that indicated that he's not who he says he is. :o)

The question is, what, or who, is he running from? Why did he have to abandon his position? Who is he, really? ';o)