#asdfghjkl ANYWAY
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also. have you ever watched/read Scott Pligrim? because the idea of Hal having to fight Bruce’s seven evil exes has been consuming me
Ahem. Yeah. I might like Scott Pilgrim. And while the seven evil exes are fun (and we all know Bruce has enough of them to make it happen) please consider:
#hal jordan#bruce wayne#batlantern#kit.art#asks#Hal having to best the kids in some kind of challenge before they accept him as Bruce's partner is really funny#and i say challenge because in hand to hand without the ring hal is LOSING. with the ring he wins easy but wheres the fun in that#anyways i drew these so fast you really called to me and the fact that i used to draw in the SP style a lot as a teen asdfghjkl
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Hello please look at this collection of very accurate answers from the “quick answers” thing in the cr wiki
These were not written by a human being who has watched this show
#there’s more I swear but these are my favorites#they’re so fucking funny (and incorrect)#no amount of keyboard smashing will accurately represent how I feel about this#critical role#asdfghjkl;#undescribed#anyway fuck ai bullshit
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Another year, another @phandomholidaytruce ✨
Merry crisler @datawyrms ! Hope you like it!! It's also on AO3 with an extra chapter
Something's Wrong with Danny Fenton
The realization that something was seriously wrong was like falling asleep; slowly, and then all at once.
There had been no catalyst, no trigger to speak of.
Miss Jones had been sick and, this late into the school year, they hadn't bothered to provide a replacement. Most of the class hadn't even bothered showing up anyway; with finals so close, they were either asleep of studying.
Cal would have done the same, was it not for the absolute chaos at home. The twins were off school for the summer already, and they made sure to make their presence known to every single resident of the house. Usually starting at 6am. Cal didn't feel like he got to choose whether to stay home or not.
This is how he found himself here, sitting in a mostly empty classroom, gaze unfocused as he soaked in the rare moments of quiet. In front of him lay an opened biology book, as he lied to himself that he was going to use this time to revise ahead of exams. Instead, the sketch of a duck wearing sunglasses was guiltily staring at him from the page margins.
His gaze had wandered to the window, towards the school-yard of Casper High. Today was a rather rare sunny day; it was early summer, but even during the heart of the hottest season there was a never-ending, persistent chill that seemed to choke the entirety of Amity Park.
Cal, of course, knew exactly where it was coming from.
It was a little bit difficult to live around here and not know about the ghosts.
He pushed his glasses up his nose nervously. He didn't have any particular strong feelings about ghosts, really. He had gotten used to them, in a way. But, truth be told, he was not a fan of the spine-chilling coldness that seeped through everything in their presence and lingered after they were gone. The way the town seemed never to be able to escape this coldness anymore bothered him, but there was not much to do other than suck it up.
Which was why rare days like today were a pleasant, welcome surprise to the locals. He could see his classmates lounging around in the grass outside, soaking up the sunlight like starving sunflowers, and it brought a warm feeling in his chest. Cal was always more of a people watcher, standing in the side and absorbing situations rather than getting involved.
He tried to ignore the tense feeling in his spine that made the hair at the back of his neck stand.
Also, he was studying. He looked down at his book and a second duck that had joined the first and was silently judging him, this time wearing a dapper top hat and a little bow-tie.
There was no haunting chill in this classroom. Right. He didn't want to go out and miss the time to relax.
His let his gaze passively wander around the room. There were only four others in there with him, all in different states of mental non-existence. Eleanor and Sally-Anne were sat opposite each other, heads close over the desk as they gossiped, their whispers providing a subtle background noise through the quiet room. Jonathan (the one with the glasses, not the one in the football team) was focused on the book in front of him and Danny, at the back of the class, looked to have fully dissociated, eyes glazed over. Now wasn't that relatable.
Cal sighed. Suddenly the chair felt a bit stiff, his shoulders a bit tense, so he pulled his arms behind his back in a big stretch. He couldn't help the groan that left his lips as he felt his joints pop. Grabbing the back of his chair, he twisted around -first the right side, then the left- to relieve the tension.
The tension, as if to spite him, stayed.
He got up, cringing at the scraping sound his chair made as it slid back, and he could see on the edge of his vision that his movement had caught the attention of the two girls. When he didn't say anything, they returned to their conversation.
Cal went around his desk towards the window and looked outside, once again marveling at the sunshine and trying to ignore the goosebumps travelling down his arms. He did briefly debate the merits of joining the rest of the glass out in the grass once more, but the peace of the quiet classroom was too tempting for his foggy brain. Still, he didn't feel like sitting in a chair for the next forty minutes. Looking around, he spotted a few unattended markers on the teacher's desk, and paused, a thought forming in his mind.
His fingers were itching with misplaced adrenaline, and he figured what the hell.
Pointedly not allowing any awkward embarrassment to brew, he approached the desk, grabbed the black and green markers and approached the blank class whiteboard.
Cal had always liked to draw. His mom said it's because his hands can't sit still (but she liked it, really, especially when he made her custom-made mother's day cards every year). The twins had no opinion about it, until his sister got her first celebrity crush and begged him to draw the poor guy with cat ears.
No ducks with accessories this time.
She later posted it online with a humble brag about how she had 'finished it really quickly, what do you guys think' but, considering she had barely hit double digits in age, Cal had let it pass.
The validation of elementary kids was not in his radar, exactly.
He never followed any particular theme -his illustrations were usually random, without much thought. He liked letting his mind and hand take him wherever, and that often led to either randomness or, as was often the case for his bigger, more planned illustrations, a lot of inspiration from his environment.
Was it a surprise that he had produced so many drawings of ghosts?
As Cal was suddenly, once again, very aware of the subtle chill (not quite a presence, but it existed and it came from somewhere), he figured that one more addition to his ghost collection wouldn't make any difference.
Even if he wasn't used to drawing on a whiteboard, he still felt the long, controlled strokes of the marker come naturally. His preferred style was either completely colorless (which had absolutely nothing to do with his tendency to draw during class, thank you very much) or with minimal color; he knew how to manage negative space to his liking.
He had to admit, the subject he had chosen was pretty perfect for the whiteboard; all high contrast black and whites.
Getting lost in the process was easy for Cal; applying long strokes across the board and thick filling to the black outfit allowed time and tension to pass him by, almost. The hair would be tricky; making sure the black marker was used faintly enough to translate the light, luminous color was a mission, and Cal was nothing if not a perfectionist when it came to his work. All aspects to a drawing needed to come together for a good result, after all.
But for this, the most important part was the eyes.
Cal tightened his grip around the green marker. There could be only one color on this drawing, and it had to be the eyes. Sadly, a green whiteboard marker would never be quite the toxic green that he would have liked, but it was the principle that counted.
As he placed the last detail on the hair, fade enough to be as close to the bright white of the real thing, he uncapped the green marker. There was a sense of gravitas in the movement, the start of the final step to this work.
Or maybe Cal was just pretentious about it, who's to say.
"Wow, Cal, you're so good!"
The sudden voice made Cal jump and, even worse, almost draw a green line straight through the board and the almost finished drawing. He turned around to realize that everyone in the room was staring at him.
Maybe he should've thought this would happen, but he felt the heat on his cheeks rise nonetheless.
It was Sally-Anne who had spoken, turned around on her seat where she was facing Eleanor. Both were smiling. A few desks ahead, Jonathan had abandoned his reading and instead was looking at Cal with interest, head resting on his hand.
Cal avoided all their eyes, fidgeting with the green marker instead "Um, thanks. Just a hobby, no big deal."
Sally-Anne raised her eyebrows. "Are you joking? This is amazing! It's like, the best Phantom art I've ever seen!"
Cal blushed even harder. "You're exaggerating, but thanks."
Eleanor gasped "Oh my God, no one better erase this! Quick, I need a picture!" she swiftly pulled out her phone and paused. "Hey Cal, can you like, put a signature somewhere on that? I need to take a pic."
Cal breathed out, muttering 'no problem' and obliged.
A stutter sound came from Eleanor's phone "Awesome! I'll send it to you if you want!"
Cal refused and Eleanor shrugged, sending it to Sally-Anne instead.
Soon everyone went back to what they were previously doing and Cal was happy to be ignored. Walking over to the teacher's desk to put the markers back (and maybe look for an eraser, if Eleanor and Sally-Anne didn't kill him first), he was suddenly aware of that ever-present yet so distant chill and his head snapped up towards the room.
At that moment, he locked eyes with Danny Fenton, and Cal froze.
It was impossible to pinpoint what was wrong exactly, which made things worse. Danny Fenton looked as he usually did; tired, bruised, head resting against his hand and unruly hair falling in his face. Yet there was something just wrong. His pallor was pale, unnervingly so, the bluing bruise against his cheek and graze on his lip contrasting dramatically against his skin. But his gaze was so sharp that Cal was sure that Danny could see right though his skin and into his brain.
It happened slowly, and then all at once.
Worst of all, Cal now knew where that ever so familiar chill came from, and he was almost shocked he didn't recognize it before. The aura of the dead was practically oozing off Danny Fenton.
Time felt like it was slowing down as Cal was locked in by those eyes, a shade of blue so cold it was painful and, for the first time, Cal realized that he was seeing Danny Fenton.
Cal wasn't sure how long he was trapped under that gaze. It felt like eons, but it couldn't have been more than seconds. As he felt his brain melt under the realization that something was frighteningly wrong with one of the people he knew, something happened that shocked him out of his spiraling.
Danny smiled. The faintest, most tired lift of lips, yet it was enough to transform the aura of wrong and that trapping stare, like deciding to let free an animal that was going to become dinner.
Just like that, with a movement so simple, the chill was passive again. Cal smiled back.
Feeling like he was floating, Cal went back to his desk. He took a seat as the bell rang and his classmates soon started filtering in, all of them taking a moment to show various levels of awe towards his drawing.
Throughout it all, Cal kept his head tilted and one eye, watching Danny's reaction. To anyone else, he looked like he had just woken up from a nap, groggy and unfocused. But Cal now knew better. He had realized the wrongness, and knew there was more hidden behind these icy eyes.
He didn't know what, he didn't know how. He didn't know when it had started, or why, but there was one thing Cal was sure of.
There was something very wrong with Danny Fenton.
#I'm not a fic writer so I hope this was ok asdfghjkl#anyway#merry crisis#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp art#danny phantom art#phart#phanart#danny phantom fanfiction#cryptid danny#outsider pov#danny fenton is creepy#phandom christmas truce 2023#Christmas#Fanfiction#Fic gift#Phandom#phantom
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LEMNISK8
you know because like the infinity symbol is called lemniscate and like sk8 the infinity like you know like yeah
#sk8 the infinity#reki kyan#langa hasegawa#lowkey a missed opportunity to draw them skating on the shopping cart#can you tell I didn’t give a crap about rekis shirt like it literally says asdfghjkl#anyway I hope people find this drawing kinda cool and very skrt skrt#the last time I drew them was three years ago apparently LOL
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Spinaraki Week Day 3: Horizon
#spinarakiweek2024#spinaraki#spinneraki#spinarakiweek4#shigaraki tomura#shuichi iguchi#mha spinner#mha fanart#i SOOOO badly wanted to do the inventory theme but alas. not right now.#i've had spinner's sword in every entry so far and that's complete coincidence... fun fact.#mha jbee#i WILL be completing the whole week 😤 that's a promise and a threat#in case it wasn't obvious: horizon but made by spinner/his sword because DAMN IT i'll give them more parallels even tho horikoshi didn't#spinner with half gelled hair is asdfghjkl so pretty#spinner used his sword to chop through some vegetation and has to clean it.... well they all need a bath. (gigantomachia fight era)#currently: late. but fuck it. i'll post now anyway
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"I'm gonna fight you now."
#Da? ddy. exactly#HE TALKS YOU THROUGH IT I KNOW HE DOES#provided he never shuts up anyway#all the jokes all the giggling#i need him carnally#just#ASDFGHJKL that was the one moment he'd sounded like a threat during the entire run of the movie#an actual formidable worthy Threat against wolverine of all mutants#because you don't make a move or breathe one ill word on Deadpool's loved ones and not deserve a punch to the face#one of the quickest self-healing self-regenerating motherfuckers in twenty years. and Wade Wilson makes him bleed.#wade are you flirting with me bitch#what the fuck are we#i know what we should be. we should be in bed together because goddamn#he counts down i know it#WHO SAID THAT#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#poolverine#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine honda odyssey#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#eliza rewatches#you two gonna fuck or fight?
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ryan's adventures in bookbinding
i feel confident to share my creations now that i have been bookbinding for several months, so here's one of my recent books that im very proud of
fic: let the world have its way with you by @shitouttabuck
inside artwork: by @bucksketch (and used only with their permission)
cover design: created by me
this fic is most beloved to me. roadtrip fics are a particular weakness of mine and nina wrote a phenomenal, moving, sweet, funny, sexy buddie roadtrip and i can hardly ever stop thinking about it. they write both buck and eddie so spectacularly well and examine their traumas and healing so beautifully and i just love this fic with everything in me
#pls ignore the mess in the background asdfghjkl#photo taking is not a great skill of mine and these are the best i can do i promise it looks better in person#anyways this fic owns my heart (just like nina does) so go give it a read and show it some love#bookbinding#fic rec#buddie fic#buddie book#ry creates#my stuff#nina tag#buddie#911#buddie fic rec
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Heathcliff E.G.O - Default | Corrosion
#posting him on my birthday as a treat for myself ... he is my favorite Sinner after all ~#honestly I feel all his E.G.O is lovely--but I'm also incredibly biased /lh#the weakest from a meta perspective seems to be Holiday ... but he sure does look cute--and I'm proud of that gif's loop asdfhjkl#gosh ... having them all side by side has me hard pressed to pick a favorite ... but I think it has to be either AEDD or Fell Bullet#Telepole is quite dear to me as well because that E.G.O is what really solidified my love for Heathcliff--the two nickels effect /lh#^ my main Ruina fave also has an E.G.O based off a wolf Abnormality#I CAN say the AEDD Corrosion is my favorite--followed by Ya Sunyata and Binds--but that's for the other post asdfghjkl#anyway uhm ... I love Heathcliff a normal amount /lie#... putting my tag for him on this ... being very brave ...#lcb heathcliff#heathcliff limbus company#limbus company#lcb#project moon#Extermination of Geometrical Organ#r: remind my heart to beat 💢#Over the (Project) Moon 🌙#blood tw#tw blood#scattered pages
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motivation hit INSANELY hard after the last art post XP
ngl i had no idea yall would like that so much,,,,
anywaysss say hello to charles, everybody :D
#thsc#the henry stickmin collection#charles calvin#ibis paint x#once again!! i think ive gotten better tho#argh im going to self destruct from sheer joy#10 9 8 7 6- BOOM#asdfghjkl#anyways heres my fav boi charles B)
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I watched the alice by heart musical yesterday and then frantically doodled these screenshots I took because?? 😳😳
#alice by heart#abh#alice spencer#fanart#don’t be fooled it’s not a wlw musical. I guess the caterpillar is just Like That#kim blanck did not have to go so hard but I’m here for it#there was also a scene where she trailed her fingers through alice’s hair when she walked away#which. ASDFGHJKL you know#anyway. I am crying over the musical so maybe go listen to it lol
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An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability
Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.
I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.
Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives.
So, without further ado... let’s get into this!
Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!
Disability: some brief (important) historical context
It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.
For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing.
I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.
Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:
“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”
— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126
This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.
SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.
Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.
The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?
Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters
Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!
Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater.
The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.
Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.
What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:
I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.
You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.
I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:
Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone.
This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.
Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):
Anyways, onto the next point:
Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?
So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.
I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.
The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.
For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society.
This is his means of escape from drowning.
However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:
The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier.
There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention.
Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?
Oh, right.
Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.
That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:
The Necklace
So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).
I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:
Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.
But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.
There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.
Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.
His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.
Speaking of that...
So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award
This fucking fish tank.
Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.
From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.
For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.
These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.
Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.
They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.
For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...
This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.
How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.
There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:
Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”
Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.
So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.
I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?
(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)
So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:
This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.
We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:
I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...
He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.
Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?
That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.
One Last Observation
I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.
His clothing here:
Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.
But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.
This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.
As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.
The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.
I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.
#milgram#haruka sakurai#analysis#weakness#all-knowing and all-agony#symbolism#disability#*drops this onto the fandom like a ton of bricks* hi i'm new here pleasure to meet u#oh man I finally finished it... this is a very (and I mean a VERY) long post asdfghjkl#I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though! I got most of the things I wanted to say and point out down#believe it or not there was actually MORE I could've said but I think tumblr may have crashed on me if I did that lmao#particularly to do with Weakness as I focused more on AK&AA here. but anyways#I love how morally grey everyone is in this series! It makes for some really fun analysis!#it's so so nice seeing a disabled character in such a position too and not just 'is a cinnamon roll' or 'the devil reincarnate' yknow#I debated leaving in the real-world history stuff but I think it sets the tone of my analysis pretty well and shows the importance of--#--haruka's disability not as a justification of his actions but as a vital backdrop to his environment and struggles
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i have been thinking about this lyric all day
#love how dlyh can be interpreted so many ways! see also: HE doesn't wanna bang you#thinking also about how i keep drawing araleyn with the dynamic of unstoppable force (anne) meets immovable object (catherine)#a unprompted araleyn post? wow asdfghjkl they. them. royal historical au with homoerotic undertones in which the mistress works the other#way around is all i'm saying. wlw supremacy.#the fine line between seeing these as proper historical figures versus characters. i'm calling it an au and calling it a day#considering the other AUs out there. i'll deal#this is fine! :>#i apologise for the poor visibility it is 2am i am making poor lighting choices. cathy parr hours fr#anyways. goodnight#six the musical#six the musical fanart#catherine of aragon#anne boleyn#aralyn#araleyn#i like the shading best in the third panel. but also the fourth panel is cool bc dark and shadowy and quiet yknow?? only issue is they don't#match with each other which breaks the flow >:/#*goes insane* hahaha. anyways does this count as pg13 for some reason it feels like the most spicy thing on the blog idk adsfghgjjl /////#i've drawn aralyn side profile in this exact up down configuration twice and if i had a nickel i'd have two nickels which isnt much but it-#not to be on the straight side of bi on main (not quite main. sideblog?) but i feel like i might be projecting emotional repression onto ara#mutual crushing rn and. i'm adamant about not wanting a rship but like this guy straight up says 'i'm okay with you leading me on' ??????#the dubious morality of it all help lmao. i'm planning to just wait it out *thumbs-up emoji*#anyway that's enough anonymous on-the-internet tea about the irl side of life! enjoy the blorbos
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(3/6) Hijirikawa Masato's Private Story [Utapri Live Emotion]
Ch 1: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 6 with Masato)
-Shining Agency Dorm's Living Room- Masato: Oh, Nanami. What a coincidence. Are you on your day off today? Haruka: Yeah, I came here to return the materials that I borrowed before. Are you also on your day off too, Hijirikawa-san? Masato: Yeah. Since the wheather looks nice I thought I'd go outside today. I'm thinking of going to those events at the park. Masato: If you're okay with it, do you want to go with me? I've heard there were also markets and music events too. Haruka: Wow…that looks so fun! I want to go. Masato: Thank you. I've had a feeling you would say that. Well then, let's head out. -Park- Masato: Paintings and lacquerware, clothing and accessories…there were also food and beverage stall too. It seems like there's a lot of stalls being set up here. Haruka: There also seems to be a lot of handmade stalls too. Oh, look at that! There are a lot of cute accesories lined up. Masato: Oh, I think it might be a good idea as a gift for my little sister. If you don't mind can you tell me which one are you interested in? (choices) <How about cookies?> Haruka: Hmm… how about icing cookies? Not only does it look pretty, but it also looks delicious too. Masato: Indeed, these cookies were made with so much attention on the details. Look, there's even a pattern on the edge of it. Masato: Look at how delicate it is. As if it was painted with a paintbrush. How beautiful… <Accessory might be a good idea> Haruka: Beaded accessories are beautiful in my opinion! Look, something like this. It's cute isn't it. Masato: Accessory, huh. Certainly these color seems to be her favorite. Masato: I'm not that knowledgeable about fashion, so your opinion might helped. (back to story) Masato: However all of them are so fascinating, I'm troubled which one to choose… Haruka: Why don't we take a look around a bit more while we're here. Oh, how about that stall over there? Masato: Hm, that's…!
Ch 2: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 11 with Masato)
-Park- Haruka: It's an amigurumi*, aren't they all cute? Masato: They look very well made. There's the rabbit one, a bear… Oh, they also have an owl too. Masato: Alright I've decided, let's go for an amigurumi for her next present. I think it might be a good idea if I could also make a hat or other accessories that goes along well with it. Haruka: Wow, that's so lovely! I'm sure your little sister will be very happy. Masato: It's all thanks to you for finding it for me. I'm very grateful. Haruka: Oh no, I didn't do much… Eh, a cheering sound? You can also hear the sound of instruments too! Masato: Looks like they're holding a concert on that special stage next door. Let's go and check it out. - Masato: Oh they're actually a band consisting of students from a nearby school. It seems they're also selling CDs of their original songs too. Masato: Although their singing and performance is a bit rough around the edges, but you can definitely feel no hesitation on the messages they're trying to convey. There's something in it that resonates within your heart. Haruka: Yes, the way they play feels like they can't help but just enjoy themselves in music. Somehow it reminds me of us back then. Masato: Perhaps the teachers and seniors felt the same way too when they saw us back at the academy. Masato: Although we were still technically and mentally inexperienced, we all had strong aspirations born out of our love for music. Haruka: That's right… It's because I met Hijirikawa-san and everyone that I'm here right now. Masato: I felt the same way too. Maybe their performance here could actually change someone's future too. Masato: …As a matter of fact, I've also had a fateful encounter too that changed my whole life a long time ago.
*: Amigurumi (編みぐるみ) is a Japanese art form that involves crocheting or knitting small, stuffed, yarn creatures or objects.
Ch 3: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 21 with Masato)
-Park- Haruka: Hijirikawa-san's fateful encounter…? Masato: Yeah. It happened back from before I entered the academy, and you could say that it was an encounter that can be considered a turning point in my life. Masato: If it weren't for that miraculous day, there's probably no chance of me choosing an entertainment industry as my path. Masato: It was all thanks to that person that I am now able to move forward without any hesitation. Masato: And then, if I could become an idol who shines bright someday, I might be able to return the favor to them. Haruka: Hijirikawa-san… Masato: Though I wonder if the current me now is even worthy of being such a bright example as of that… Haruka: Hijirikawa-san is already shining bright. So much that just staring at you would blind my eyes away. Masato: …Thanks, Nanami. Hearing your words gives me a lot of confidence. Haruka: Likewise, thank you for letting me listen to that wonderful story. Haruka: Once again I was reminded that I, too, want to bring the music that I love to as many people as possible. Masato: You're right. I also want to deliver more of my feelings through music too. Masato: I will have to work even more harder so that I can perform a sound that will change even fate. Haruka: Fufu, I will use the inspiration I received here today in my songwriting as soon as I return home. Masato: I'm glad that this is worth your time. Let's go out together again just like this sometime.
Ch 4: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 31 with Masato)
Ch 5: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 41 with Masato)
Ch 6: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 51 with Masato)
#utapri#live emotion#Hijirikawa Masato#i'll be updating this as soon as i unlock another chapter#please correct me if my wording somehow not understandable as im not that fluent on both jp/en#Mai got mentioned! Mai got mentioned!#Oh my god#If you didn't know she also got mentioned by Masato too when Eiji's asking him for his advice cuz he's a big brother in the main story#and they've shown us how Masato got a message from her too it's so cute#Anyway I'm happy to know she got mentioned once again in Masa's private story#hopefully just maybe we can see her sometime in the future chapters too ;;w;;#asdfghjkl I miss Mai so much
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Holy fuck it's the Mistah Rayman the Legend woah
He's so totally fun to draw and I can't wait to see if he's going to just be a major red herring and be the sweetest lil' guy ever, the most dastardly guy that's 100% going to shoot someone in the face in existence, is just being threatened into submission by Eden, is being puppeteered/brainwashed by something or other, WHATEVA it's going to be so cool anyway cuz it's THE RAYMAN
#anyway I'm super hungry and it's 10:50 ima go eat somethin#captain lazerhawk blood dragon#captain lazerhawk#rayman#rayman captain lazerhawk#art#bugbrain#arthrobug#by the way that watch is just something I searched up#it apparently is an apple watch that came out in 1995 and guess what else came out in 1995 yeahhhhh#the first rayman gameee lmao#I LOVE THIS GUY SO MUCH I CAN'T DESCRIBE IT HE IS SORT OF MY CHILDHOOD#anyway sorry utmv people just give me a bit to obsess over something new after over a decade of not obsessing over anything else asdfghjkl#the theories before the show is even out makes me even more feral RAHHHHH
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Digimon Survive Week 2023 Day One: Red Spider Lilies
Something for @surviveweek but with my own twist using the Sakuyamon Warrior Mode I designed specifically for Miyuki because I’m in the “Miyuki just wanted to be a normal girl” squad and thought she could be more “feral” instead of going the Miko road :3c
To be honest, I was just going to do this illust for being self indulgent but once I saw the prompt for day 1 decided to use it for it instead :D
#digimon#digimon survive week#survive week#digimon survive#digimon survive spoilers#minase miyuki#sakuyamon#miyuki minase#using the spoilers tag just for precaution#but I don't think there is a big spoiler here XD#anyway I'm still very weak for them ;w;#and I'll do my best to contribute to the rest of the week but with them uwu#I love my other children but for now I only have the energy to focus on something 'small'#also because I'm an idiot I added this to my ko fi shop for you to purchase the printable file too :3#I swear I hold survive very dear to my heart asdfghjkl#haven't changed my Miyuki icon over my main blog and twitter xD#might change them for this Miyuki I drew tho idk#ok bye
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Sunset
#this series gets more and more shippy as it goes on asdfghjkl#tbf i regularly used to hold hands and gaze into the sunset with my entirely platonic friends. so. DEFINITELY not necessarily shippy#anyways#happy put imogen and otohan in a box friday saturday everyone!#and for organization purposes:#happy put imogen and otohan in a box friday everyone!#critical role#my art#otohan thull#imogen temult#undescribed
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