#asdfghjkl ANYWAY

[lanternbats]

also. have you ever watched/read Scott Pligrim? because the idea of Hal having to fight Bruce’s seven evil exes has been consuming me

Ahem. Yeah. I might like Scott Pilgrim. And while the seven evil exes are fun (and we all know Bruce has enough of them to make it happen) please consider:

[steampunk-raven]

Hello please look at this collection of very accurate answers from the “quick answers” thing in the cr wiki

These were not written by a human being who has watched this show

[charmzero]

LEMNISK8

you know because like the infinity symbol is called lemniscate and like sk8 the infinity like you know like yeah

[jamiethebeeart]

Spinaraki Week Day 3: Horizon

[brainrotcharacters]

"I'm gonna fight you now."

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

ryan's adventures in bookbinding

i feel confident to share my creations now that i have been bookbinding for several months, so here's one of my recent books that im very proud of

fic: let the world have its way with you by @shitouttabuck

inside artwork: by @bucksketch (and used only with their permission)

cover design: created by me

this fic is most beloved to me. roadtrip fics are a particular weakness of mine and nina wrote a phenomenal, moving, sweet, funny, sexy buddie roadtrip and i can hardly ever stop thinking about it. they write both buck and eddie so spectacularly well and examine their traumas and healing so beautifully and i just love this fic with everything in me

[lemomix]

motivation hit INSANELY hard after the last art post XP

ngl i had no idea yall would like that so much,,,,

anywaysss say hello to charles, everybody :D

[red-moon-at-night]

An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability

Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.

I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.

Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives. 

So, without further ado... let’s get into this!

Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!

Disability: some brief (important) historical context

It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.

For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing. 

I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.

Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:

“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization  compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”

— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126

This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.

SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.

Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.

The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?

Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters

Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!

Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater. 

The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.

Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.

What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:

I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.

You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.

I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:

Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone. 

This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.

Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):

Anyways, onto the next point:

Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?

So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.

I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.

The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.

For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society. 

This is his means of escape from drowning.

However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:

The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier. 

There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention. 

Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?

Oh, right. 

Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.

That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:

The Necklace

So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).

I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:

Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.

But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.

There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.

Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.

His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.

Speaking of that...

So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award

This fucking fish tank.

Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.

From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.

For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.

These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.

Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.

They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.

For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...

This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.

How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.

There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:

Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”

Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.

So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.

I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?

(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)

So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:

This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.

We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:

I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...

He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.

Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?

That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.

One Last Observation

I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.

His clothing here:

Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.

But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.

This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.

As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.

The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.

I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.

[averlym]

i have been thinking about this lyric all day 

[blueesnow]

(3/6) Hijirikawa Masato's Private Story [Utapri Live Emotion]

Ch 1: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 6 with Masato)

-Shining Agency Dorm's Living Room- Masato: Oh, Nanami. What a coincidence. Are you on your day off today? Haruka: Yeah, I came here to return the materials that I borrowed before. Are you also on your day off too, Hijirikawa-san? Masato: Yeah. Since the wheather looks nice I thought I'd go outside today. I'm thinking of going to those events at the park. Masato: If you're okay with it, do you want to go with me? I've heard there were also markets and music events too. Haruka: Wow…that looks so fun! I want to go. Masato: Thank you. I've had a feeling you would say that. Well then, let's head out. -Park- Masato: Paintings and lacquerware, clothing and accessories…there were also food and beverage stall too. It seems like there's a lot of stalls being set up here. Haruka: There also seems to be a lot of handmade stalls too. Oh, look at that! There are a lot of cute accesories lined up. Masato: Oh, I think it might be a good idea as a gift for my little sister. If you don't mind can you tell me which one are you interested in? (choices) <How about cookies?> Haruka: Hmm… how about icing cookies? Not only does it look pretty, but it also looks delicious too. Masato: Indeed, these cookies were made with so much attention on the details. Look, there's even a pattern on the edge of it. Masato: Look at how delicate it is. As if it was painted with a paintbrush. How beautiful… <Accessory might be a good idea> Haruka: Beaded accessories are beautiful in my opinion! Look, something like this. It's cute isn't it. Masato: Accessory, huh. Certainly these color seems to be her favorite. Masato: I'm not that knowledgeable about fashion, so your opinion might helped. (back to story) Masato: However all of them are so fascinating, I'm troubled which one to choose… Haruka: Why don't we take a look around a bit more while we're here. Oh, how about that stall over there? Masato: Hm, that's…!

Ch 2: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 11 with Masato)

-Park- Haruka: It's an amigurumi*, aren't they all cute? Masato: They look very well made. There's the rabbit one, a bear… Oh, they also have an owl too. Masato: Alright I've decided, let's go for an amigurumi for her next present. I think it might be a good idea if I could also make a hat or other accessories that goes along well with it. Haruka: Wow, that's so lovely! I'm sure your little sister will be very happy. Masato: It's all thanks to you for finding it for me. I'm very grateful. Haruka: Oh no, I didn't do much… Eh, a cheering sound? You can also hear the sound of instruments too! Masato: Looks like they're holding a concert on that special stage next door. Let's go and check it out. - Masato: Oh they're actually a band consisting of students from a nearby school. It seems they're also selling CDs of their original songs too. Masato: Although their singing and performance is a bit rough around the edges, but you can definitely feel no hesitation on the messages they're trying to convey. There's something in it that resonates within your heart. Haruka: Yes, the way they play feels like they can't help but just enjoy themselves in music. Somehow it reminds me of us back then. Masato: Perhaps the teachers and seniors felt the same way too when they saw us back at the academy. Masato: Although we were still technically and mentally inexperienced, we all had strong aspirations born out of our love for music. Haruka: That's right… It's because I met Hijirikawa-san and everyone that I'm here right now. Masato: I felt the same way too. Maybe their performance here could actually change someone's future too. Masato: …As a matter of fact, I've also had a fateful encounter too that changed my whole life a long time ago.

*: Amigurumi (編みぐるみ) is a Japanese art form that involves crocheting or knitting small, stuffed, yarn creatures or objects.

Ch 3: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 21 with Masato)

-Park- Haruka: Hijirikawa-san's fateful encounter…? Masato: Yeah. It happened back from before I entered the academy, and you could say that it was an encounter that can be considered a turning point in my life. Masato: If it weren't for that miraculous day, there's probably no chance of me choosing an entertainment industry as my path. Masato: It was all thanks to that person that I am now able to move forward without any hesitation. Masato: And then, if I could become an idol who shines bright someday, I might be able to return the favor to them. Haruka: Hijirikawa-san… Masato: Though I wonder if the current me now is even worthy of being such a bright example as of that… Haruka: Hijirikawa-san is already shining bright. So much that just staring at you would blind my eyes away. Masato: …Thanks, Nanami. Hearing your words gives me a lot of confidence. Haruka: Likewise, thank you for letting me listen to that wonderful story. Haruka: Once again I was reminded that I, too, want to bring the music that I love to as many people as possible. Masato: You're right. I also want to deliver more of my feelings through music too. Masato: I will have to work even more harder so that I can perform a sound that will change even fate. Haruka: Fufu, I will use the inspiration I received here today in my songwriting as soon as I return home. Masato: I'm glad that this is worth your time. Let's go out together again just like this sometime.

Ch 4: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 31 with Masato)

Ch 5: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 41 with Masato)

Ch 6: (unlocked if you reached intimacy lvl 51 with Masato)

[arthrobug]

Holy fuck it's the Mistah Rayman the Legend woah

He's so totally fun to draw and I can't wait to see if he's going to just be a major red herring and be the sweetest lil' guy ever, the most dastardly guy that's 100% going to shoot someone in the face in existence, is just being threatened into submission by Eden, is being puppeteered/brainwashed by something or other, WHATEVA it's going to be so cool anyway cuz it's THE RAYMAN

[neorukixart]

Digimon Survive Week 2023 Day One: Red Spider Lilies

Something for @surviveweek but with my own twist using the Sakuyamon Warrior Mode I designed specifically for Miyuki because I’m in the “Miyuki just wanted to be a normal girl” squad and thought she could be more “feral” instead of going the Miko road :3c

To be honest, I was just going to do this illust for being self indulgent but once I saw the prompt for day 1 decided to use it for it instead :D

[lavender-temult]

Sunset

[cheesy09]

[CN] Upcoming Kiro Date Preview

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for content that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

The world will witness my eternal glory.

From now on, there will be no separation between us.

🌟 Kiro's Fateful Date Blurb

The sun forgives every sin;

The stars will tell everyone their secrets;

And the moon only sighs;

Those who think they can do anything,

Wait for the day when the sun will never come again,

You will see your truest self in the darkness.

P.S. The live 2D version of this card's evolution commissioned by Papergames really gives one the impression that this date will end in tragedy 😭 It's got sad music, Kiro crying and everything. And the blurb for this date does not help either. Ngl, I live for this angst, but man... my emotions might not be able to survive this.

In case anyone is curious, you can watch the live 2D version here: link

What Kiro says is "Don't forget me. You're not allowed to ever forget me." 😭

[oddsconvert]

Where does August get his blood? If he drinks from Lucas, then where did he get it before?

He does drink from Lucas in our current timeline! With Lucas' consent, of course! And just a little from his wrist, definitely not his neck.

Before Lucas though, I think August paid a pretty penny for some ethically sourced blood packets ;) I imagine bags of blood probably shipped from overseas where vampire and human relationships are a taddddd less tetchy, and maybe there is some volunteer blood-donors for vamps! 🥰

[idaten-jump]

I said I would write a Makoto x Gabu fanfic and then promised to make fanart, so then I thought hey... why not combine them both and make a Makoto x Gabu fanart?

So I hereby present to you art of my nonexistent fic (?) with teenage Makoto and Gabu in high school.

I'm not sure when I'll manage to finish the fic, if ever, but at least we got the ball rolling and things went far enough to get this fanart of the target ship so I hope we're good.