#as usual i went overboard and tangented hard in my reply to this but I think it makes sense

[milfygerard]

Something makes me feel bad for Taylor how some Swifties are commited to her getting married and taking it super personally and like getting upset other people have other reads on the situation. I don't think it's as urgent as people. Taylor gets married or not, Taylor gets engaged or not, just wait and see. It's not a personal achievement and Taylor is not less of a successful person not being married and not having kids yet. It feels very misogynistic how eager some fans are to see her engaged, even if it is 'the plan'.

Hello anon I didnt get to last night!

I definitely lean towards this. Taylor is clearly on some level attached to the idea of being a wife and mother, and it could be her future, but the absolute fervor around it, and the idea that its ridiculous or somehow pessimistic or negative to say she may decide not to is extremely frustrating. I do think ppl are being a little harsh, like I saw an anon snap earlier at taylortruther for even mentioning marriage while talking abt the lyrics to midnight rain despite marriage and the idea of being a bride and wife being the core concept explored in the song which felt unfair (and i think anons may still be arguing back n forth over it in her inbox rip). I guess my frustrations come in with

1. the idea of marriage being like a forgone conclusion and

2. the thought that theres something wrong with not thinking that

Logically we all know that marriage is a personal choice that someone makes, but I do think (and I do think this is a present if possibly unintentional theme in taylors music actually) that marriage is discussed on a sort of cultural level as the moment that a woman "grows up" and becomes a real adult and a real Woman rather than a girl. Its a huge point of contention in TTPD, with taylor feeling trapped in this endless adolescence and seeing marriage as a sort of possible escape from that, a ticket into a real adulthood that she has, in her eyes, struggled to break into. This is where that thorny complicated discussion of misogyny at the core of marriage as a concept comes in and where things get very complicated within taylors lyrics as this concept of marriage pulls her in so many directions at once. It obviously appeals to the romantic in her, the idea of one fated true love finding you and your lives being bounded together forever after is one she can't seem to let go of. Theres also the conformist in her, the people pleaser that wants to succeed at being a Normal woman who reaches Normal milestones in life and can connect with other Normal women about Normal things like kids and husbands.

However, theres also the part of taylor that resents being told what to do or what she is (ESPECIALLY from men ESPECIALLY from CONSERVATIVE men who have been weird abt her for forever) and probably chafes against the idea of conforming to what THOSE assholes want, which is obviously that aryan tradwife fantasy of the silent woman who loves her Man and doesn't sing songs about her internal world or her relationship and how if affects her personally. That is an idea she's always chafed against, hell its one of the longest running threads throughout her discography (the pipeline from "back then i swore I was gonna marry him someday but i realized some bigger dreams of mine" to "he wanted a bride I was making my own name" is an interesting one).

Theres also the slightly more cynical point that...well...she is a businesswoman and one who has been fucked over by men in her life on that front many times, now I do assume that any taylor swift marriage would come with the prenup of a lifetime, but theres still the question of if she'd trust anyone enough to put her life in their hands on that level. Heterosexual marriage (to be an annoying feminist for a moment) is kind of the ultimate patriarchal system even as its changed and developed through the years. If taylor gets married, people WILL expect her to step back from her career to have children and they WILL be frustrated if she doesnt. She will be expected to give up far more freedoms and social independence than her partner, she WILL be expected to change how and what she writes, and she likely will not earn the same level of attention and support as she will be seen as a wife and mother first and an artist and businesswoman second. She is not Beyonce, she isnt an untouchable queen, it will affect how she is seen and treated especially if she marries into an NFL family like the Kelces. Taylor will have to navigate an entire new world of misogynistic pitfalls, and no matter what she chooses, she is going to have to give up or lose some part of herself.

I have written far too much and didnt even touch on the sort of false time limit forced onto women vis-a-vis marriage and having children but i need to go drink a gatorade bc my hands feel slightly numb so I'll cut myself off

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

After Christmas With A-Yuan

I want to talk about New Years but when typing it up I realized I really wanted to talk about the day after Christmas too. So I split them up into two separate posts. So I’ll start with the 26th. I went to sleep holding 2 of my favorite people but woke up tragically alone. I could tell I’d been re-tucked into bed with care. I remember the feeling of someone shifting and A-Yuan mumbling and snuggling closer. The press of a kiss against my temple? But I may have been dreaming. All I know is that I woke up alone. 

Well not entirely. As he often does, Lan Zhan had placed Suibian on the bed with me. She’s the one that woke me actually. She was snuffling up by my nose, her own twitching against mine as her fur tickled my skin.

“Mmm good morning” I mumbled at her, making her hop around quite excitedly once she realized that meant I was awake. I laughed and sat up carefully to make sure I wouldn’t squash her and beckoned her closer again.

“Do you know where my boys are?” I asked her once she was close enough to pick up. She twitched her nose at me and, of course, didn’t answer. So I told her we should go find them together. (Bunnies don’t usually like to be held from what I’ve experienced. They’ll tolerate it for a while but it makes them nervous. But Suibian never seems to mind so long as I’m the one holding her. Maybe it was because I kept picking her up as she was growing up ((Don’t wanna say when she was a baby because she still IS a baby.)) Oh… maybe she only tolerates it because she’s still so young? Oh I hope she doesn’t grow to fear it. D: I’ll have to make sure she feels extra secure because I love taking her around with me. Anyway. Tangent. You all know to expect it by now)

I swung my legs out of bed and padded out of the bedroom only to be hit by a wall of smells and the sound of kitchen stuff clinking together quietly. I closed the door as silently as I could when I heard A-Yuan giggling and what sounded like Lan Zhan  gently shushing him. I poked my head out of the hall to take a peek and found Lan Zhan was very carefully handing A-Yuan a tray of food that was clearly meant for me.  A-Yuan had almost taken it when he looked up and saw me. He yelped and shoved the tray back at Lan Zhan, who managed to keep 99% of it from spilling, and rushed at me. 

“No Xian-Gege! You’re supposed to be sleeping!!” he said, clearly frustrated that his plans had been ruined. I laughed as he started to physically turn me around and push me back to the bedroom. 

“Oh? But what if I’m not tired anymore?” I asked just to be difficult, resisting him just enough to make him put some effort. The boy went to a nearly 45 degree angle trying to shove me forward. I glanced back to smile at Lan Zhan who had set the tray to rights. He smiled back and I decided to stop teasing A-Yuan who had started to whine a little. 

“Alright! I’m going! I’m going!” I said. I heard A-Yuan telling Lan Zhan to wait a moment before he ushered me back into bed. I set Suibian down on the floor to hop where she wanted (the squirming and teasing was a bit too much excitement for even her, though she didn’t try to escape until she was a safe space from the floor. I trusted Lan Zhan would plop her back in with Bichen which he did so it worked out) and climbed into bed obediently. A-Yuan climbed on next to me so he could kiss my cheek and tuck me in before scurrying off with the order for me not to move. 

Another moment and Lan Zhan and A-Yuan were back in my line of sight, A-Yuan carefully carrying the rather over-laden tray over to me only for Lan Zhan to help place it as I sat up again.

“Good morning, Xian-Gege!” A-Yuan chirped as if he hadn’t just reprimanded me into diving back under the covers. I decided to play my role correctly, which wasn’t too hard because I was honestly feeling very warm by the exchange. 

“Oh! What’s this? Breakfast in bed??? For meeee????”

Okay the look on A-Yuan’s face told me I was over-selling it so I just grinned at him and laughed, opening my arms for a careful hug. I let him go and started to ask if the two of them were planning to join me only to find Lan Zhan had left and was now returning while holding two more trays of food. 

Not nice to flex on a 7 year old, Lan Zhan. Come on now. XD

It took a bit of maneuvering and there were a few very near calls but we managed to get all three of us in bed with the trays of steaming food over our laps. 

Blueberry pancakes and eggs and sausage (for me and A-Yuan anyway), toast and hashbrowns. Complete with orange juice and a glass of water. Entirely too much food that was absolutely completely consumed to the last crumb. 

It was… it was so domestic and.. Warm and… My chest aches with it even now. I want that. I want that forever. It felt like the three of us were a real family! And.. and after what A-Yuan said at his birthday party… Okay that’s for later. We’re doing this in order!

As we worked through the mountain of food I suddenly realized-- When had Lan Zhan gotten a third tray? It was possible that he’d had it but only ever pulled out 2 before but this one didn’t match the others. The tray that was given to A-Yuan was a bit smaller (which was good because we were PUSHIN it with the trays on the bed) and covered in little bunny prints. I tapped on A-Yuan’s tray and asked Lan Zhan when he’d bought it. He replied that he had picked it up this morning since he was out anyway. 

“You… went out already? And came back? And cooked breakfast???” I asked, somehow still surprised even though I KNOW very well by now that he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn. 

He just nodded and smiled at me. “I had to get a few things and I didn’t want to disturb you two.”

I flopped back on the bed with a whine, rambling about how they were spoiling me so rotten and how we should be pampering HIM instead because he’s already gotten so much done that morning and must be tired and blah blah blah. I don’t listen to myself most of the time so I can’t tell you all what I said but you get the jist. 

Lan Zhan smiled. I mean. I know he did even though my arm was dramatically over my eyes. I could feel it in his ‘mn.’ 

“Don’t laugh at meeeeee,” I whined which just made him more amused. A-Yuan patted my knee consolingly and told me I should finish eating before my pancakes got soggy. 

A brilliant lad. Top of his class. Couldn’t be prouder if he was my own son. 

Ahhh dreams. 

Gotta work on one dream at a time. Not gonna compound it right now. 

Once we had finished our feast, I insisted on carrying the trays back to the kitchen and cleaning up since they’d gone through all the work making and delivering breakfast. Lan Zhan got a… complicated look on his face at that and I know where his mind was going. I softened and gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. I hadn’t forgotten our talk from the other day. I wasn’t going to go overboard.  He seemed to understand because he relaxed and nodded at me. 

I only did a basic clean up for the time being, promising to take care of the rest of it later. I think that reassured him further. 

Not gonna lie, part of me really really wanted to reach for the bottle of cleaner again. My fingers twitched a bit but I resisted. I left a bit of mess and went to sit with my boys in the living room. 

Knowing and doing are two different things. And that was admittedly harder than it should have been. But the way Lan Zhan looked at me…. Suddenly it was the easiest thing in the world. 

The three of us digested while watching something ‘family oriented’ on TV which just gave me MORE feels to be shelved for now. It ended up with Lan Zhan shuffling closer to me while A-Yuan somehow draped himself across both our laps. I saw Lan Zhan stroking A-Yuan’s hair out of the corner of my eye and it just melted my heart further. 

After a couple episodes of… whatever we were watching (A-Yuan apparently had been watching this for a while and wanted to keep going so we indulged him. But I have NO idea what the hell it was)

The moment… it was honestly perfect. It had even started to snow outside. I could see the big fat flakes floating lazily down to earth from the large window. I don’t know what we were watching but it wasn’t too obnoxious. I felt Lan Zhan slide his arm around me as he kept petting A-Yuan. The two of them looked about as content as I was. Warm and close and comfortable. 

I.. I really want that moment to be my life. That forever. That is paradise. 

But then, as all good things are wont to do, the moment ended. But it wasn’t a sad ending. It was a new beginning. 

A-Yuan had shifted after his show had ended and looked up at Lan Zhan, asking if it was time yet. I had no idea what he was talking about but Lan Zhan seemed to consider. He looked at his watch, then nodded with a hum. Apparently this was the correct response because A-Yuan whooped and basically just RAN to the kitchen. 

I looked at Lan Zhan, completely confused, but instead of answering my silent question he just smiled and offered his hand to me. Never one to miss THAT opportunity, I took that offered hand and let him lead me to the kitchen where A-Yuan was pulling out… cookie cutters?

“We have to make the batter, first,” he reminded A-Yuan, making the boy pout a bit. “But you can mix the dough” was enough to get him back into his chipper spirits. 

���Batter…?? Are we making.. Christmas cookies? A bit late for that, isn’t it?”

“Never too late!!” A-Yuan protested. And who am I to argue against that?

“There was a rather good sale on the cutters when I was out so I thought perhaps A-Yuan would enjoy it.”

“You thought right!” A-Yuan chirped happily before asking what ingredients we needed. 

I helped gather the ingredients. Various white powders, eggs, butter, vanilla and so on. With my hands in the rather sorry state they were still in I let them handle putting everything together and mixing it up (safer that way anyway. Even with this, part of me wanted to add a bit of spice to the mix. Sweet and spicy go well together! And I think it’d make an interesting cookie! Maybe I’ll try that on my own some time) but I got to roll it out for cutting. 

And then I discovered that when Lan Zhan saw there was a sale on cookie cutters he had apparently decided to buy one of each. There were tons! Even some repeats because of buying some bulk packages of them as well. But that’s okay! Can never have too many snowmen!

Cutting out the shapes was so much fun! We let A-Yuan pick out most of them but even so. I stepped back and let Lan Zhan put them in the oven though. I’m.. getting better but hot stuff still makes me nervous sometimes. 

Actually it’s really frustrating! It wasn’t even the kitchen where the explosion happened! It was my bed area. They’d intended to get me in my sleep. It really really was only luck that my explosion went off after a delay. It was probably supposed to go off at the same time as the other one and if it had…

I think Lan Zhan noticed my thoughts starting to spiral again because suddenly he was in front of me. He brushed my cheek with his thumb, either wiping off some flour or putting some on. He gently guided me to look at him and smiled even more softly at me. “I’m here,” he said, his voice low and careful. I smiled back and covered his hand with mine. 

“Are you okay, Xian-Gege?” asked my suddenly acquired new ankle weight. I must have looked quite bad because apparently A-Yuan noticed too and latched himself to my leg. He doesn’t do that as much as he used to when he was little (though being with A-Ling seems to bring that out in him again). I reached down to pat his head and smile at him too. 

“I’m fine,” I promised to him, then again to Lan Zhan when I saw him still looking at me. “I promise.”

And I was. The moment had passed as quickly as it had come and suddenly I found I really was okay. I hugged them both and thanked them before asking what we wanted to do while the first batch cooked. 

Lan Zhan pointed out they would only be in the oven for a few minutes which surprised me. I always forget how fast they cook. Blame it on making them SO rarely. And that I don’t cook may be another factor. Hah. Ah well. 

We stood around and chatted while we waited and before I knew it the timer dinged and Lan Zhan was switching them out for the next batch.  I don’t know if A-Yuan or me was more impatient for those cookies to cool, but Lan Zhan said that the frosting would just melt off if we didn’t wait for them to be at least room temperature. 

I pointed out that maybe I wanted a melty snowman he didn’t know. But he gave me a look so I sat on the bar-stool I’d pulled up and pouted sulkily.  A-yuan climbed up onto his own stool and sulked with me.  Lan Zhan was pointedly NOT looking at us which made it really hard to  hold the pout for wanting to giggle instead. A-Yuan and I shared a look and we both almost broke, but I managed to just re-exaggerate my pout and he copied my expression. 

I had just started to implement an old, tried and true method of mine of making a quiet whine noise that very slowly increases in volume when Lan Zhan finally declared that we could decorate them now. With many whoops and hoorays A-Yuan and I set to our task (A-Yuan still on his stool so he could have easier access to the counter. He’s already 7 but still a bit small for his age if I’m honest.) 

The two of us decorated our little hearts out while Lan Zhan stayed in charge of swapping out the cookies in the oven. Eventually, though, he ran out of cookies to cook so I tried my luck at getting him to join us in the decorating. 

He seemed rather reluctant but I’m nothing if not persistent. “Come oooooon, please? I wanna eat a cookie that Lan Zhan made!!” 

I think that’s what finally convinced him. I’ve noticed, and I do TRY not to take advantage of this too often, but… well he never denies me anything. Like… ever. Not unless he has a really really good reason.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m really good at pouting or if he really just loves to spoil me that much? Maybe both? I mean…. Okay I’m… Since New Years especially I’ve been re-framing how I look at our relationship. And how he reacts to me and how we interact with each other.

I know I know. About time? Look, you can’t blame me for being careful. Okay? Just… ugh. Anyway….

Maybe it’s rose-tinted glasses. Maybe I’m reading way too far into things. Maybe I’m just wrong. But I hope… I hope I’m right. I hope that what I’m seeing is true. I hope…

But we’ll get into that later. 

Lan Zhan helped decorate the rest of the cookies and it went…. About as well as his decorating back at the corn maze had. Bless his talented heart but arts and crafts are definitely a weakness for him.  A weakness that is now snuggly coupled with his shit aim in my heart. The two ‘flaws’ that he has and they just endear him to me even more. How is that fair? Somehow him being bad at things just makes him even MORE perfect? That’s just not fair! 

A-Yuan and I laughed at a particularly hideous angel cookie, but when A-Yuan asked if that angel was supposed to be ME I think we both died a little. (Lan Zhan did not confirm nor deny the identity of the angel cookie but at a glance it did seem to share my morning bed-head hair. And he gave it clothes that were rather dark and tattered as is my preference. But that could just be chalked up to lack of finesse with the piping. The grey sprinkles for eyes did add a bit of suspicion though.)  I mentioned if it was supposed to be me they’d better snap off the wings which made Lan Zhan scowl at me and hold the cookie rather protectively.  I laughed and promised I wouldn’t destroy his hard work and he reluctantly relaxed and went back to his careful decorating. 

Sooner than I would have liked we ran out of cookies to decorate. Though I’m not sure where we’d put them if we had any more. They covered every flat surface in the kitchen while the frosting settled and dried. “Which ones do you want to take home?” Lan Zhan said after a while of gazing fondly at our kingdom of sugar soldiers. That… kinda made my heart sink. Right. Home. A-Yuan was gonna have to go back home. Which was not with us. Wen Ning was going to be picking him up soon.

Should I be concerned with how fast I got used to it? The three of us together in the play-acting of a little family? Probably. 

A-Yuan hopped around the kitchen and considered carefully, picking out some of his favorites to give to the rest of the Wens. He asked me to give a sparkling snowflake to A-Ling which just made me melt. 

Eventually we got all his selections all packed up in tupperware and ready to be taken away. But he came up to me with one last cookie in his hand. It was a christmas tree he’d spent so long carefully decorating. And honestly it was a masterpiece considering he’s all of 7 years old. He’d done his best to color in the star at the top with gold frosting and the branches with green. He’d placed strings of dot sprinkles in alternating colors as garland and shaped sprinkles for the ornaments. He’d even tried to put lines in the frosting at the bottom to make it look like tree bark, though that had melted together into a bit of an un-even lump. But still.  

“I made this one for you, Xian-Gege,” he said with the brightest smile. He said that he was scared when he found out I was hurt but he was so glad that I was okay. He was saying something else but I cut him off when I hugged him so tight, careful not to crumble that precious cookie. 

I still have it. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. Eventually Lan Zhan and I sprayed it with stuff (per instructions seen on the internet) so that we could preserve it and keep it forever. I turned it into an ornament for a christmas tree. I wonder if we can have A-Yuan over next year. I wonder if he’d notice it. 

I was… a bit emotional up until Wen Ning finally showed up to collect his nephew. There was another round of hugs where I told A-Yuan how much I love him and how proud of him I was and then he was gone. 

And it was just me and Lan Zhan. 

I sniffled a little and Lan Zhan carefully took my hand to comfort me. I smiled a watery smile at him before we both went about cleaning up. We nibbled on some of the more unfortunate looking cookies  (which honestly weren’t ALL Lan Zhan’s since I had some failed experiments of my own to add to the ‘reject’ pile) and soon the kitchen was properly spotless. But it still smelled like the cookies, the scent of sugar and vanilla mixing with the sandalwood that usually dominated the home in a mix that was surprisingly pleasant. 

Once we’d finished cleaning up, Lan Zhan took my hand again and led me to the living room to sit down. “Wait here a moment,” he said. He went off to the other room to get something. I listened to the soft sound of his footsteps and the rustling of paper. He sat next to me again and asked me for my hands. I offered them to him with a questioning stare that he ignored in favor of undoing the wrappings I’d put on earlier to help protect them while we made the cookies. 

One at a time he slowly unwound the length of thin cloth until my poor raw knuckles were exposed. 

I asked him what he was doing, but he only responded by pulling out a bottle of something. It was apparently some sort of ointment or lotion. Something soothing. He poured some into his own palm, rubbing his hands together to warm it up before he gently, oh so gently started to rub it into the skin on my hands. I stung for a moment, though he soothed it quickly by blowing on my hands with care. But after the initial contact the sting faded. It smelled so nice. A bit medicinal but definitely sandalwood. 

Apparently that’s what he’d gone out for. That ointment/lotion/whatever it is. He’d seen how tender my hands were (of course he had) and wanted to give them extra care. He’d apparently had to go across town just to get it. The post-christmas shoppers were already out in full swing gobbling up sales and crowding the streets. 

I… he hates crowds. When we shop we specifically try to go out when there are less people when we can manage it. And dealing with post-holiday crowds. I know for a fact that he’s done his best to avoid that his whole life. And going all the way into town just to get me some hand cream. Just. 

My heart.

I can’t handle it.

Even after the cream had been rubbed in with so much care, he kept holding my hands. Rubbing and massaging the parts where the skin was intact and a little up my wrists. 

Eventually he stopped but I held his hands before he could pull them away so that I could place a kiss in thanks on his knuckles. When I looked up again he was staring at me. So close. So soft. So…. 

I pulled back with a cough that probably did nothing to hide my flaming cheeks and he let me. Was it wishful thinking that made me think I saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes? 

I thanked him for always taking such good care of me. He told me there was no need for thanks between us. 

I smiled at him again and he smiled back. He smiles so much easier now than he used to. At least when it’s just us.  

Does that mean that it’s because of me? Am I helping him smile? I hope so.

[podcastcoach]

Shaping Your Content for Maximum Impact - Niel J. Guilarte

Welcome to episode 563 of the School of Podcasting

Have you ever had a problem with something, and then when you stated your problem out loud the answer came to you as you were saying it? You can use that exercise to help your podcast. I recently read about 80% of the book Out on the Wire: The Storytelling Secrets of the New Masters of Radio by Jessica Abel. Jessica went DEEP INSIDE NPR and the creators of This American Life and took lots of notes and shared them. One strategy they use to shape a story is to say out loud, "I'm doing a story about X, and what is interesting about it is Y. They say it's important to do this out loud to a real person.

Then to shape your story you use this tool, Somebody does something because of ____(their motivation) but _____(a challenge). If you can't answer the but, then ask yourself, "What do I have?"

They have another exercise where their focus setting may be something like. "This happened _______, then this ____, then this ____, and you would #$%&! believe it but ____. And the reason that is interesting to every single person walking on the face of the earth is ______.

This is where I draw the line. Sure we want everyone to like our episode, but that is NOT going to happen. If you try to make a podcast that is interesting to every single person, you will go crazy. Keep in mind these people are telling stories, and stories are powerful, but in certain circumstances, they don't really fit.

For example, Many podcasters want to make money with their podcast (motivation) but only 10% of podcasters get enough downloads to get big named sponsors. Then this guy start a podcast about horses, and you won't believe it but he got a sponsor when he had less than 100 downloads per episode. He added more and more shows and called it a network, and ignored the CPM model brought over by radio, and now he is making a full-time living with his podcast. The reason this is important is dynamic ad insertion is paying very low rates and uninformed podcasters may take those fees because they feel they can't get a sponsor without huge downloads.

If I'm interviewing technology, it may be a piece of technology that eliminates the challenge. Some podcasters have a hard time sharing promotional material with their guests, but podhero.io makes it easy.

Your intro Can Make or Break Your Podcast

This is from the Book Ted Talk by Chris Anderson

Zak Ebrahim did a TED Talk, and he originally was going to start his talk with this paragraph:

I was born in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania in 1983 to a loving American Mother and an Egyptian Father who tried their best to create a happy childhood for me. It wasn't until I was seven years old that our family dynamic started to change. My father exposed me to a side if Islam that few people (including the majority of Muslims) get to see but in fact when people take the time to interact with one another it doesn't take long to realize that for the most part, we all want the same things out of life

The folks at TED brainstormed and help him come up with this opening Paragraph:

On November 5th 1990 a man named El Sayyid Nosair walked into a hotel in Manhattan and assassinated Rabbi Meir Kahanethe leader of the Jewish Defense league. Nosair was found not guilty of the murder, but while serving time on lesser charges he and other men started planning attacks on a dozen New York City landmarks including tunnels, synagogues, and the united Nations Headquarters. Thankfully those plans were foiled by an FBI informant. Sadly the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center was not. Nosair would eventually be convicted for his involvement in the plot. El Sayyid Nosair is my father.

The audience was riveted See video https://youtu.be/lyR-K2CZIHQ

Leave Out Stuff That You Don't Need

Here is an example from the TED Talks book byChris Anderson(also available on Audible)

Once, when I was eight years old, my father took me fishing. We were in a tiny boat, five miles from shore, when a massive storm blew in. Dad put a life jacket on me and whispered in my ear, "Do you trust me, son?" I nodded. He threw me overboard. [pause] I kid you not. Just tossed me over! I hit the water and bobbed up to the surface, gasping for breath. It was shockingly cold. The waves were terrifying. Monstrous. Then . . . Dad dived in after me. We watched in horror as our little boat flipped and sank. But he was holding me the whole time, telling me it was going to be OK. Fifteen minutes later, the Coast Guard helicopter arrived. It turned out that Dad knew the boat was damaged and was going to sink, and he had called them with our exact location. He guessed it was better to chuck me in the open sea than risk getting trapped when the boat flipped. And that is how I learned the true meaning of the word trust.

EXAMPLE 2: SAME STORY WITH TOO MUCH DETAIL AND NO EMOTION

I learned trust from my father when I was eight years old and we got caught in a storm while out fishing for mackerel. We failed to catch a single one before the storm hit. Dad knew the boat was going to sink, because it was one of those Saturn brand inflatable boats, which are usually pretty strong, but this one had been punctured once and Dad thought it might happen again. In any case, the storm was too big for an inflatable boat and it was already leaking. So he called the Coast Guard rescue service, who, back then, were available 24/7, unlike today. He told them our location, and then, to avoid the risk of getting trapped underwater, he put a life jacket on me and threw me overboard before jumping in himself. We then waited for the Coast Guard to come and, sure enough, 15 minutes later the helicopter showed up—I think it was a Sikorsky MH-60 Jayhawk— and we were fine.

The first version is a story of trust and emotion. The second version has tangents left and right and is filled with information that doesn't back up the main story. If we "X Y" this,  My Dad and I went fishing, but he threw me overboard. And this is interesting as we all need to learn how to trust people. The second version doesn't even bring up the key sentence for me, "Do you trust me son?"

In the book Secrets of Dynamic Communications: Prepare with Focus, Deliver with Clarity, Speak with Power author Ken Davis states, "To make it as clear and powerful as possible, it is necessary to know exactly what you want to accomplish and then keep only material that will contribute to the objective." He also states, If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. Another strategy is that if you just throw enough things at your audience, one of them is bound to have an impact.

Niel J. Guilarte Editor of The Messengers: a Podcast Documentary

Niel who is the editor the The Messengers: a Podcast Documentary as well as the host of All Things Post, and the owner of Wildstyle Media, and star of his YouTube Channel shares some of the non-traditional items he has shot video to get experience and talk about the steps of assembling your story.

Know who your audience is

Take inventory of what you have

Come up with the story, the message you want to share

Follow your gut

Don't be afraid to start over, or get a different set of ear/eyes

In the same way that you don't take your car to the dentist to get it fixed, Niel thinks business people should stop editing their show and pass that off to editors to help them tell their story. Niel uses Dropbox to swap files back and forth with his clients as well as Frame.io

One of the common mistakes that podcasters make that Niel has to edit out is letting their guest go on weird tangents in the interview that end up on the chopping floor.

Check out Niels awesome videos (his wedding videos are awesome) at www.wildstylemedia.net and his podcast All Things Post (about Post Production) at www.allthingspost.net

What is the Smallest Amount You Would Take From a Sponsor for One Episode?

If I could do this again I would. I was looking for a number like "16" not a range of an EPISODE (not a month) after 30 days. So look at an episode from 30 days ago and tell me how many downloads it has. Then when I asked what was the least amount, I'm not sure I was clear enough to say PER EPISODE. So I would call this survey a wash. I thank all 37 people who replied.

Are you interested in making money from your podcast?

89.2% Said Yes. 10.8% said no.

How Many Downloads Do You Get Per Episode After 30 days, and what is the smallest amount of money you would take from an Advertiser.

7 Respondents had 100 downloads or less, and they said they would take anywhere from $5-$500. The people close to 100 downloads per episode were looking for $25-35.

3 Respondents got between 101-200 downloads. Two were not interested in making money, and the third wants at least $10.

3 Respondents had between 201-300 downloads and said they would take $5, $10.

1 Respondent had between 300-400 downloads said they were highly relevant and would take $500.

1 Respondent had between 401 -500 downloads said they would take $200

1 Respondent said they had 600 downloads per episode and would take a minimum of $10

1 Respondent said they had 800 downloads per episode and would take a minimum of $150

1 Respondent said they had 900 downloads per episode and would take a minimum of $50 for advertisers but on Patreon I will mention a fans business for $25

1 Respondent said they had 1000 downloads per episode and are getting (currently) $50

1 Respondent said they had 1000 downloads per episode and would take $225

1 Respondent said they had 1250 downloads per episode and would take $50

1 Respondent said they had 2000 downloads per episode and would take $50

1 Respondent said they had 2400 downloads per episode and would take $20

2 Respondents said they had 2500 downloads per episode and would take $25. The other is getting $100

1 Respondent said they had 3000 downloads per episode and would take $50

2 Respondent said they had 4000 downloads per episode and one is  getting $250, the other wants $300

1 Respondent said they had 4673 downloads per episode and will take $1 per second (30-second ad, $30)

People Who Said They Have Sponsor

1 Person had 50 downloads an episode and is getting $250 ( I would think this has to be a month or a typo) 1 Person had 1000 downloads an episode and is getting $50 ($50/cpm) 1 Person had 2500 downloads an episode and is getting $1o0 ($40/cpm) 1 Person had 4000 downloads an episode and is getting $250 ($62.5/cpm) 1 Person had 4763 downloads an episode and is getting $1/sec (one spot $30) ($6.29/cpm) 1 Person had 10000 downloads an episode and is getting $55  ($5.5/cpm) 1 Person had 50000 downloads an episode and is getting $125  ($2.5/cpm)

Next Month's Poll:

Have you ever started a podcast? (Yes or No) If no, what is holding you back?

Are you still producing that show? (Yes or No)

If Yes: What are the name of the show and the web address? Why do you podcast?

If No: What was the name of your show? Why did you walk away from podcasting?

Go to www.schoolofpodcasting.com/contact. If you use email, please put 468 in the subject line.

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Mentioned in This Episode

Out on the Wire: The Storytelling Secrets of the New Masters of Radio

TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking (available on Audible)

Secrets of Dynamic Communications: Prepare with Focus, Deliver with Clarity, Speak with Power

The Messengers Documentary DVD

www.wildstylemedia.net

www.allthingspost.net

Dropbox

Frame.io

Glenn the Geek Episode 1 of (Horse Radio Network)

Son of a Terrorist  TED Talk

Start Your Podcast at the School of Podcasting

  Check out this episode!