#as someone who has lost a lot of friends
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library-fae · 4 months ago
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sometimes we have to sit in the fear and feel it
so what? if they find you annoying that's their problem
ive become so tired of conforming myself to others
im annoying, im obnoxious; i talk to much or not at all, i look all wrong, i don't use the right tone or the right words
but im me
and im going to keep being me
I’m like 99% sure everyone I know actually finds me so fucking annoying
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mourn-and-watch · 5 months ago
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on the one hand, i think merrill should be in datv because lore-wise her arc perfectly intertwines with the narrative of the veilguard (elven history, gods and magic are her thing; not to mention that we're literally going to travel primarily through eluvians), and also perfectly fits the main theme (there is so much in merrill's story that has to do with regret). on the other hand, i think merrill should be in datv because she'd love to hang out with bellara and davrin and also she's always wanted to pet a griffon
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dude-iloveu · 3 months ago
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wouldn't it be nice to obsess over that aromantic man as his own character rather than a part of a ship once in a while? :)
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gaytobymeres · 3 months ago
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Just saw the weirdest most over-stimulating production of marriage of figaro…. I feel like the opera, the music, got lost in the set and costumes and props and background cast who were just kind of there? Doing weird things?
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spaceratprodigy · 9 months ago
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🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉
Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤
I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer ����💕
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main#so much has happened in these past 10 years#I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future#but I did and I do#I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible#I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return#I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself#I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better#I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like#I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of#I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over#I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder#I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive#and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person#I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore#I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly#he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do#god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me#you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you#it's always been you#I fucking love you#more than anything in this universe and the next#forever and always#my art#glad I listened to my first tag lmao
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thepoisonroom · 11 months ago
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btw if i could give one tip to the anxious bitches as one myself it would be to avoid accusing people who care for you of secretly hating you like either it's not true and you made them feel weird and like you think badly of them or it's true and you should just bounce but either way this will accomplish nothing
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brittlebutch · 1 year ago
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honestly Adaine is so good at clarifying/directing Ayda socially that it begins to circle back to a dynamic of like, Ayda saying "i don't know or understand these rules" and Adaine responding "have no fear, I've been carefully studying and manually interfacing with these for years, I will explain:" in a way that to me is so autism4autism
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averlym · 1 year ago
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pleaaase may i have 28 and 29 aramour angst ✨ i crave it
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28: “Move out of my way before I make you.” // 29: “You deserve better.” (prompt list here)
click for better quality!
#the brainrot!!! so strong. anyways. fellas is it gay to confront the woman dating your ex when there's super high tension#anyway!!! highschool(?) modern au where the popular girl/ queen bee is whoever resident king henry is dating.. hm..#oh the tension between someone who used to serve you. now having taken your place. and you knowing the ins and out of that position..#especially that it's not all it's cooked up to be!! lots of thoughts about this au#art-wise i drew these as storyboards before i realised i cant video format well without audio so they're just here in storyboard form#i drew these in sketchy drafts and then in sketchbook then spent 2h lining them digitally bc the scans were yikes. anyways. i lost a frame#somewhere and it was before the “you deserve better” and it was like. “take it from someone who knows#fun fact!! i showed this to multiple irl friends without dialogue as i was drawing it. neither of them know the characters but.#immediately pinpointed exes vibes. and enemies to lovers. and basically homoerotic arguing tension.#remarkably pleased at how that was conveyed (and also amused. i love my friends). anyway if i were to do this again? then i'd draw in the#frames instead of re-doing the sizing after tracing. yikes that was an experience.#anyway!! (x3) anon i hope you enjoy the aramour angst. i hope it has something. i craved it a lot as i was drawing this#six the musical#six the musical fanart#catherine of aragon#jane seymour#also the characterisation was lowkey based off how mean girl seymour is absolutely a thing in the show. some of her lines. savage.#parallels!!! in show the "oh boohoo [..] i DIED'' and attacking aragon.. the rivalry here.. aaaagh#also!! the last line is a slightly paraphrased letter from aragon to her father(?) i think. found it online while looking for how she wrot#because i wanted her to sound more queenly... you also see it in how she's unbothered and rather unimpressed throughout seymour's posturing#the confidence in herself. meanwhile jane is defensive and a bit more prone to being flustered <parallels emotion in show script>#i'm just. very proud of these drawings together. narrative can be so very nice. the last two frames are kinda like a postscript.#sometimes the brainrot really gets you!! alright have a nice day.. comms are open and the fact that no one is taking them up rn feels a bit#sobering. but it's okay! i'm not in a rush.. it's more for the experience. hm. i wonder who wrote yes in the poll though#(can you. tell my ego is a little bruised?) nvm onwards!! eventually i'll get good enough to actually sell my stuff :OOO#oh an addendum: lowkey inspired by all the bathroom girl-on-girl confrontation scenes. one off the top of my head is the one from heathers#but there's quite a lot of those tbh#aramour
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guruguruguruguru · 10 months ago
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the longer i sit with it the more it really gets me how nobody ever really mentions obito and rin before obito's reveal in shippuden. kakashi vaguely mentions his old friends and i think other characters allude to the tragedy of kakashi's past but rin and obito themselves are lost to time. something about that is so fucking haunting and so gutting. you would think it would be a pretty big deal that two kids from the same class died within a year of each other, but the nine tails attack probably wiped so much clean that nobody could really carry the grief... still, when we see their class in flashbacks, we recognise almost everyone else, so... there's something really sad and hopeless about their absence...
there's a lot a LOT to say about it from a lot of different angles and i don't really feel like going into meta posting territory i just have big feelings about it you know? and to me i guess obito encapsulates a lot of the anger. for the people who get left behind and forgotten. and that can mean a lot of things
#two of my classmates died on separate occassions in short span of time in high school and i wont claim that grief because#i didnt know either of them well but i did feel a lot of anger and overwhelming hopelessness. that life keeps relentlessly going on#even when people get left behind#it feels so unfair and so painful... there are so many more aspects to it though as well#like people who are left behind in other ways due to circumstance or class or race or etc etc- often a combination of those factors#and obito as a kid reminds me a lot of a good friend i had when i was little who was late to class every day#because of those outside circumstances#and again someone in high school who i was late WITH every day. because ya#and i feel very big about that. and about rins death as something so fucking preventable#the tragedy also of baby teacher minato who was so so not ready to be in charge of anyone. but. that's something else#anyway i guess i just really feel a connection with that anger and despair#sorru was watching niji and felt fucking insane about it#obito and rin are like two sides of one thing. maybe of one person. of one concept#part of why i'm so so crazy about obito being trans is because i see him as also using rin's memory as a conduit for#his anger and grief about his own lost younger self. hence: baby obito is also a little girl#i think they are best friends. its so important. idk none of this is wider narrative meta#its just my feelings about them in particular#haunting dead girl and the ghost who has to carry on and can't rest
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mukuharakazui · 2 years ago
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i sound like the youngest boomer on earth whenever i say this but it really was a mistake for baby gays to learn about the term fruit. idk what it is about the internet that makes kids see a derogatory term for a marginalized group they’re part of, or even just adjacent to, which they’ve never been targeted with and decide it’s just their new Special Inside Joke Swear Word. some 16 y/o online calling a picture of a celebrity wearing a gaudy sweater fruity or faggy isn’t “reclamation” it’s just parroting homophobia and not funny in the slightest.
speaking among onesself or close friends is one thing but when it gets to the point (and it has) where people are calling real life people they barely (or don’t) know homophobic terms, it doesn’t matter if the person saying it is gay or not.
#succ speaks#also i thought people were only like this online but being at a lac. people really just do this to people they know irl.#like they actually just say things. having to listen to a girl call ross gay 'fruity' in a poetry class and then like a week later...#...a guy who i was kinda friends with but also hung out with a total of like 5 times decided yeah sure i can call the group chat faggots#just......wow. people really live like this. and not even 8th grade gsa attendees who are still learning. young adults in the workforce.#i also think this sort of faux solidarity is why this same demographic desperately tries to express personal parallels to experiences...#...they have never gone through and/or cannot possibly go through. something about slowly losing the ability to listen and needing to talk.#<- also sorry to sound like a psych major but egocentric approaches to social media has done irreversible damage to so many young ppl...#...but at the same time we (young ppl on social media) are to blame because social media platforms are egocentric by design.#being invested in onesself isn't a cause of shitheadedry but a lot of people have really just gotten so dismissive of others it's insane.#also idk pretend i made a solid link between this and The Lost Art Of The Sincere Apology And Taking Accountability#this is just me parroting a convo i had w some friends at lunch 2day btw. posting it online bc someone probably needs to see this.#<- AS IN. ppl have definitely thought the same thing and need to see it articulated not that someone needs to feel called out by it#feeling called out by this would be like. a personal problem to sort out
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jasontoddenthusiastt · 1 year ago
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‘The point is not “is bftc good Jason characterization”’
Actually the point can be anything that the op of the post wants it to be. Oh you mean that is not your point. Um …. Cool. Nobody asked.
#*​provides canon proof of Jason absolutely traumatizing teens in canon*#/s#*the whopping two instances are titans tower and the Mia Dearden incident*#both of which happened around the same time as uth. effectively making Jason approximately … eighteen or nineteen.#while Mia was 17 and Tim was like 16. wow how could this seasoned old man be so cruel to these literal babies#this is coming from someone who cares deeply about how different authors’ visions for bruce can turn him into a male power fantasy#but according to this person that's technically all fanon because the authors are fans of Batman who write him how they want#<- a needlessly complicated way of saying it doesn’t matter that almost every writer has written Batman as a cop symbol#because they don’t agree with those authors’ visions it’s just bad characterization#not consistency#anyway back to how any Jason fan who doesn't ascribe to your flawless interpretation of these iffy events is actually missing the point#mhm okay ignored winick showing Jason desperately saving children like three times in lost days#and other authors later wrote him being good with kids too#oh but even if he had the same trait in post crisis and n52 these characterizations are actually irreconcilable because they said so#kelseethe#for someone who seemingly cares so much about numbers and patterns#they tend to skip a lot of important panels in their ‘analyses’#like the panels in batman 650 where Jason mentioned the thousands joker killed and the friends he's crippled#and the lost days panels of him being upset about joker going on to hurt more families and fathers and sons#all this to claim Jason’s ultimatum in utrh was entirely self-centered#I guess it just goes to show how much evidence you have to ignore/disregard to come to the conclusion that Jason is a bad person#but yeah your vision is the be all & end all and anyone who thinks otherwise isn’t ~normal~
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thetangibleghost · 15 days ago
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I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.
#this also may have been a separate dream#i was in this big aquarium swimming and walking around. it was like. you could swim in a lot of the exhibit and interact with the animals#i had some sort of mission and i also found a baby seal who i picked up and was carrying around as i wandered around#eventually i ended up in this little nook that had one of the adult seals/walrusess? so i let the baby go but the adult was not into it and#i heard someone day something like “aw he still has hope”#theres this kid that works at the aquarium and i tell him to come with me for some reason. its around this time i realize this is some movie#the kids boss is like “next time you leave your post you gotta dive out”#and im worried a bit allready sbout him leavin his post with the adult walrus up there.#then suddenly the glass starts breaking everywhere. like one crack then the whole aquarium starts falling apart#and the kid seems a bit worried.#as were all evacuating i decide that its my fault. because the walrus must have been ramming the glass while the kid wasnt watching.#i remember thinking about how this was a movie or something and feeling really dumv#then yhe dream was over snd there was s recap??? in like drawing form and it showed the main character (me) putting a bomb in the center of#the aquarium in some sort of well or something. so. i guess it really was completely my fault in a different way than i thought#then later im at some sort of party or something and then i leave the party for another party or something? and i feel really bad sn#and socially innept the entire time. the person who i think i reconize we start talking and theyre like the first person whos nice to me#and were talking about following eachother on Instagram? or somth#while their scrolling i see a video eith one of my old friends and shes on the news? the headline is like “me and cathy snd the murder#victim...“ or something. and im like ”hey thats my friend“ and the person just shuts their phone off.#any ways so this person lets me hitch a ride with them back to the original party. they get out of the uber super early but its the right#house and the tell the driver that hes lost and the DRIVER gets out. so im like oh i guess this is their car??#and so they drive up to the drive way and three more people start getting in the car and theyre like putting stuff in the trunk#and talking about where to sit and i just start giggling.#and im still trying to participate like i offer to sit in the middle. theres already someone sitting at the front but he gets out and#everytime someone says anything i start giggling??? and like its sunny and everyone is very attractive in a way that o just found so funny#and then eventually two of then run over to this like panel dash board yhing that on a wall outside and like messing with it opening the#glove box and stuff and i just wake up#and immediately upon waking. well first i was like “teehee. i woke up from giggling” then i thought about it and i was like “oh. i was#take the front seat :(#dream log
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wolfisland · 9 months ago
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honestly one of my least favourite things about online spaces centered around cluster b personality disorders is that they almost treat the disorders as an in joke. like its never quite anti recovery rhetoric but a lot of the times it feels like it becomes this thing where something harmful gets spurred on as a personality trait to nurture rather than a symptom to keep an eye on. freaks me the fuck out.
it could be because growing up i was pretty familiar with cluster b spaces and i lost a couple of friendships due to it becoming this whole "i have this disorder now i have to knowingly indulge the more harmful and dangerous symptoms im supposed to be treating to really prove i have this disorder!" thing.
like babes i still believe youre borderline, you dont need to go full tilt maintaining a numbered and ranked list of the people most important to you and assigning a fp role to someone who frankly is not responsible for your stability.
#i lost a friend yeeeeaaaars ago like almost 10 years ago now#who discovered npd and started using it as a justification for treating us like shit and seeing us as lesser#which was so fucking crazy to me as someone whos pretty fucking certain they have npd#bc if anything its made me a hell of a lot more aware of how i treat people around me#because like theres a lot worse things i can be than arrogant and self obsessed. but i dont wanna be arrogant and self obsessed AND cruel#like i fell victim to the borderline personality trait shit as a kid hardcore#and didnt realise i was probably comorbid npd til literally last year so i dodged that#but literally the reason i didnt realise it was probably also npd is because of how people dehumanize people w npd#like most of my exposure to npd in my own life has been absolute fucking menaces#but so has bpd. the people with bpd who have remained part of my life have always been people w bpd who keep an eye on their behaviour#bc no personality disorder makes you evil but not monitoring your symptoms does almost always make you irresponsible#like its very weird seeing people in my life react wildly differently to the discovery or diagnosis#like i just have 0 energy for people who get a diagnosis and just use it to excuse their treatment of others#and this comes from someone who was The borderline menace at age 16#i think realising i probably have npd has made me a lot more aware of my own ego among other things#and ive had enough therapy for bpd to feel comfortable navigating most of the npd stuff rn without an official dx yet#bc id say ive already been trying to curb certain behaviour for years now without realising it could be linked to smth in particular#its just a new explanation. but i dont think its an excuse#i hope that ex friend is dealing with his shit better now. i still think hes a dick but he was a struggling teenager so all i can do is like#hope hes grown up and doing better mentally and has better friends. bc god knows our friend group was pretty unhealthy#txt
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ghostzzy · 11 months ago
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i do think death is bullshit unfortunately
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monty-glasses-roxy · 3 months ago
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Ah fuck it whatever
There's something I love about the new Consequences AU and how it compares to the AUs and music it's come from.
Where things like Roxy's old kingdom being destroyed and her being almost drowned as a baby are metaphorical, there's a lot of things that strangely aren't. Roxy specifically denying the gods and the powers that be is something she does in most of my interpretations of her. The gods in most situations, isn't a spooky green rabbit, it's the people in the Fazbear boardroom making the world's worst decisions ever. To the animatronics, they are the gods. There's no higher authority than them, and they can have them destroyed without ever having met them, at just a moment's notice, for seemingly no reason.
Bonnie once believing in the gods and turning against them works like it does for most of the animatronics too. Even just questioning Fazbear isn't something many of them have been able to do, but all of them will eventually learn to. The more they learn through Roxy, despite what they might have known before, the more they realise what kind of company they've been forced to be a part of.
And Roxy's attitude towards these gods is always the same. She won't pretend to be nice to people she knows don't care about her. She won't put any extra effort into maintaining social etiquette if there's no point, if there's nothing for her to gain from it. Fazbear CEOs and board members have hurt her so much already, she doesn't give a flying shit about them, she's not wasting her time on them unless she absolutely has to. In this universe, the same can be said about the gods. She doesn't care for them and they don't care about her, so why bother? They've told like six people to assassinate her already, why would she choose to listen to them?
Roxy's relationship with the Minis and DJ? That's the same as it is across the board with most of the AUs I have. The attempt on Roxy's life when she's barely been born is shown differently in the new AU, but is still the same concept. Some things have been shifted around, such as the specific motivations, but not by a lot. I suppose Bonnie's dad in this fills the roll of Vanessa if Vanessa was also actually Mimic? He doesn't have an exact match here in terms of scale, but the comparisons are there.
The whole kingdom being destroyed, Roxy finding out that that's where she originally came from, that she was the newborn prince with a wholeass family she's never known, all lines up so well with everything else too. The pizzeria, scrapped storage, the old attractions there before her racetrack, it's all gone and she knew nothing about it. She's once again found out the truth in possibly the worst way imagineable, and she doesn't know what to do with this information, but honestly, who would?
The biggest difference there is that in this new AU, Roxy has the choice of what to do. In what's basically canon to the game, Roxy doesn't have that choice and likely never will. Where she's had to sacrifice her Raceway and Salon, sacrifice the vast majority of her life and her purpose for the safety of everyone around her, in this universe, she can choose not to. She sacrifices certainty this time, something she can regain as time goes on but in any other universe, there is never any certainty to get back. There will always be a Mimic threat and she can't get any of her old life back until it's dead and gone. She has to pay a price to keep Mimic contained, and while the Afton/Glitchtrap gods scramble to convince her otherwise, the Roxy in this new AU does have the choice whether she pays it or not.
But she will always still have to deal with the consequences of those with power. Every single time. And every single time so far, her entire existence is the consequence for them. Her life overall has not been the result of her own choices, but rather, the choices of people that never cared about her to begin with...
At least in this new universe she has a good childhood to fall back on and a cool ass horsie. And can actually do something about this shit. She can't normally do that :(
#not sure if that means she's winning or not hmm#fnaf security breach#consequence of the gods au#I should shorten that to just#consequences au#I guess#also yeah roxy can't normally do literally anything about... well anything really???#she can keep a lid on the situation but she doesn't have a choice. she HAS to make the sacrifice or people could die#and that sucks! she deserves better! and this time there's no blame to for her to carry only the burden of tragedy#which has maybe like... halfed the weight fazbear puts on her? maybe?#she's not okay is what I'm saying#though that's probably pretty obvious given the uhh#everything#this au is just super interesting to me it has a lot of parallels to other stuff and I like to give her a stick to beat people with#this time she can rally her friends with bonnie's help to drag the king to the fucking stocks#I just think there's maybe no greater punishment for a king like this than the humiliation pushed on the lowest class pick-pockets#cause the thing is. what she's chosen to do by not killing him is like breaking the cycle of revenge#but it's not mercy for him. she doesn't want his blood on her paws he's not worth it#him just. not being worth the effort of murder is incredibly offensive to him. he's the king god damn whadda hell#but he's never going to be sure for the rest of his life#he's going to have to live with the entire kingdom and every other kingdom knowing exactly what he did be it by afton's will or not#he has regretted it all this WAS pushed on him by these gods but finding out someone survived? that someone is on their way to get him?#it's a relief. it's finally over. he doesn't have to do this anymore... and then she just doesn't give that to him.#death was his salvation that was his freedom and she denies him that. she makes him live.#not without consequence of course but compared to the release of his execution these consequences are barbaric#they cut him like a knife by letting the local schoolkids throw tomatoes at his face#he still has to rule knowing that any moment roxy could change her mind and come back to finish the job.#or another survivor will do it for her. if I decide roxy gets a sister along with mangle and the old foxy?#then he's wondering where the OTHER one is. where is she? Roxy isn't who he'd expected to reach him at all she's dead#but surprise! she's not! he has lost the coin toss! she is the worst option of the two! by far!
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gilgamesh-enjoyer · 7 months ago
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