#as of tonigh there's only one alive

[juancarlos-ortiz]

Denial - Juice Ortiz x Reader One Shot

A/N: A quick little one shot for Juicy pants - something sweeter this time! I am still working on Marked for Carnage but my life is a little hectic right now. Fingers crossed, next week the next chapter will be up. Please feel free to request a one shot if you wish! I will write for almost anyone from SOA.

Warnings: alcohol, swearing, mentions of sex (off page), kissing, smoking

Word Count: 1466 words

You bopped your head along to the music as you pulled the bottle opener from your back pocket, popping the tops off the beers in front of you. "Here you go, guys," you said, placing them on the bar in front of Tig and Chibs. "Thank you, sweetheart," Tig tipped his bottle your way whilst Chibs gave you a nod. You moved down the bar, serving members and the sweetbutts that hung off them. You had been working the bar for SAMCRO parties for many months now after your friend had begged you to tag along one night after they were down a person. You reluctantly agreed, having heard stories from other girls you knew were croweaters about how rowdy the parties could be and handsy the guys were. But surprisingly it had been a fun night and any guys that did try to hit on you, actually seemed to take no for an answer.

No, there was only one guy in this building you would want putting his hands on you. And he currently made his way to the bar, his eyes meeting yours and a smirk on his face. "What can I get ya, Juice?" you asked, already knowing his answer as you reached down into the fridge below the bar to grab a beer. "Beer please, beautiful," he winked, causing your skin to prickle with heat. Ignoring him, you popped the top and handed it over. He took a long sip and you watched the column of his throat dip as he swallowed, your blood rushing to your core and heart beginning to thump harder. He put his beer on the bar and smiled, aware of just how much he affected you. Crossing his forearms against the wood he lent in. "Busy tonight, sweetness?" he asked. You rolled your eyes, flicking the dishcloth over your shoulder out to lightly snap his arm. "Always busy, sweetness," you mocked before moving on to fulfill another order.

Juice stayed at the bar, watching as you moved around, taking orders, making people laugh, smoothly moving in between the other girls and the Prospects who were also working. He was playing it cool, but in reality his palms were drenched with sweat and his stomach was alive with butterflies. He could stand and watch you all night long, no croweater or pool game even a lick of competition to you. He felt someone elbow his side. Turning to face Chibs, he nodded in greeting. "A little distracted tonigh', aren't ye Juicy?" his brother asked. Juice just shrugged and had another long sip of his beer. "Been a long week, kinda tired," he lilted, trying unsuccessfully to pull his eyes from you. You passed a straw over to Piney with a laugh and shake of your head before you were heading back over to him, the sway in your hips and crook of your mouth making his pants suddenly tighter.

"You want another one?" you asked, tossing the dishcloth over your shoulder again. "I'll take whatever you want to give me," he prompted, causing your mouth to open. Juice was never usually this flirty at parties. You heard a scoff from a few seats down. "Would you two just hurry up and fuck already?!" Tig challenged, putting a cigarette into his mouth and lighting it. Chibs began to laugh into his drink. You huffed and crossed your arms. "What the hell are you talking about, Tiggy?" you sassed, lifting up their drinks and giving the table a wipe down. "You two," Tig motioned his beer to point between you and Juice. "The undressing with the eyes, the flirting…. It's painful," he blinked slowly. "Just do us all a favour and fuck each other." You let out a short laugh, your nerves setting in. What Tig didn’t know was that you and Juice had already had a roll in the sheets. Many… many… many… rolls in the sheets.

But it wasn't something you had made public purely because it was casual and you didn’t want to be seen as someone that any of the guys could have. Juice had agreed because he was fine with upkeeping his bachelor status with his brothers. You weren't exclusive but you certainly had not been with anyone else. You were unsure about Juice, and honestly you didn’t want to ask, but you were both being careful and it was just a bit of fun. But the last few times it had happened it had felt a little more than casual to you. It always happened at your place, usually after a SAMCRO party. The first few times Juice would usually leave pretty quickly after - which had been fine with you - but now he had made the choice to stay the night and usually for breakfast. Which meant you got to talk more, which in turn meant you got to know him better. And that had sparked some unexpected and intense feelings pretty quickly. You had been ignoring them because it seemed like Juice was on the casual train still and you didn’t want to fuck up what you guys had going.

"There is no undressing with the eyes, and Juice flirts with everyone," you shrugged, holding your hands out to lean against the bar. "Yeah right, and I'm the King of England," Tig rolled his eyes. "Can you believe the denial we're hearing right now?" he asked Chibs. "Ye better make a move soon though, swee'heart," Chibs chimed in. "If you don’t make a claim, someone else will." He and Tig got off their stools and moved over to the chairs where Bobby was lounging with a sweetbutt in his lap. You laughed humourlessly, before turning to move away. A hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. You looked up at Juice. "He was just kidding," he said, a forced smile on his face. You nodded and tried to smile back, shrugging your shoulders. "It's fine, Juice," you tried to step away but he held his grip. "You know there's no one else, right?" he asked, his wide brown eyes searching yours. "So what if there was?" you asked. Juice shook his head, gently pulling your arm so you would step back closer to him.

"I'm telling you, right now, there is no one else," he was dead serious, dragging his hand down your arm to lightly grasp your hand, giving you enough freedom to pull out of his grip if you wanted. "What are you doing, Juice?" you asked, looking over your shoulder to make sure the other girls were getting the drinks served. "You have to have noticed that things have been different," he pondered. "Like, a good kind of different." You swallowed thickly, nodding slowly. "I have but…" you lick your lips, Juice's eyes dropping to track the movement. "I didn’t think you did. Or that it's what you would want to be happening." Juice smiled. "You," he ran his thumb over the tops of your knuckles. "Are the only one I want to be going with. Going home to," he confessed. You blinked rapidly. "Is that ok with you?" he asked. You smiled nervously, narrowing your eyes. "It's definitely ok with me, but are you sure?" you asked apprehensively. He tugged on your hand lightly. "Come here, baby. Stake your claim," he stepped back and gestured towards himself. You chuckled, shaking your head, still unsure if this was real or some kind of cruel joke.

Stepping around the bar, you walked to him nervously. When you were close enough, Juice reached out to grasp your waist, pulling you into him quickly. You laughed, colliding with his chest. Grasping the lapels of his cut you tried to ignore the feeling of surprised eyes on you. "You're sure about this?" you ask again, making Juice sigh. "Positive," he said, squeezing your sides teasingly. "No more sweetbutts," you remind him. "And I know that you have that run clause thing but that shit doesn’t sit right with me either," you admit to him. "Baby," he tilts his head, eyes never leaving yours. "I haven’t been with any sweetbutts for months. Ask the other guys. The first time you dragged me through your front door and threw me down on your bed was it for me. There's been no one else. And won’t be. I don’t give a shit about the run clause." You smiled softly, heart warm with his confession. "Well in that case," you pulled him by his cut to meet you in a searing kiss, smiling at Juice's surprised sigh while his hands moved down to slip into your back pockets. "Atta boy, Juicy!" you heard Tig shout. Bobby cursed as he fished into his pocket, pulling out two $10 notes and handing one each to Tig and Chibs.

[zmayadw]

Evening all :)

Time to continue with the story.

Wishing you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 7

Back at the room, i quickly took another shower, and still wrapped in my towel opened the wardrobe. Hmm, what to weare? I havent really paid attention when i packed before coming to Duskwood, i just threw clothes in my suitcase, i was lucky i took enough clean underweare. I decided for my grey skinny jeans, black straps top, and my favorite green shirt. I loved that shirt, it made my eyes more greener when wearing it. Arround my neck was a descrete silver chain, with a clover pendant that i got from my mom. I was releived when i found out in hospital that i havent lost it when all the shit happened. She gave it to me when i was 10ish or so, telling me it will always bring me luck and keep me safe, and i always did feel safer wearing it, so i rarely took it off. My toughts got interruped by the sound of a message on my phone. It was from Jessy, informing me she and Dan will pick me up in about 15 minutes. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, put on some face powder since i was still a bit paleish. I putted some mascara and my lipgloss on. I grabbed my shoes and my purse. One more quick look at the mirror.I was ready and decided to wait for them outside. I wasnt out for long when Dan steered the car onto motels parking. He left the car and went for the back doors opening them for me. „Wow, Maya, i almost didnt recognize you, all dressed up!“ he grinned at me. „Should i take that as a compliment?“ „Definatly!“ he said, winkig at me, as i sat in the back seat, Jessy turning to me. „You look great!“ she smiled at me. „Thanks!“ i replied, smiling back. „I hope you're hungry.“ „Actually, im starving.“i said with a smile. After days of gloom toughts about all, and well, Jake mostly, seeing him today got me in good mood again.

We parked infront of the Black Swan. Leaving  the car, i turned to Dan saying teasingly  „Last time you got stud up comming here, this time you're here with two beautifull women.“ As i said it, both Jessy and me grabbed Dan, each under one of his arm. „What more can a guy wish for!“ he said, grinning, but added as we neared the entrance „ But, sorry Maya, i'll be going home with just one of you, tho.“ He turned to Jessy, giving her one soft kiss. „Good answer.“ I teased „And dont worry about me, my broken heart will just have to drown its sorrow with some chocolate!“ I tried to sound serious and hurt, but Jessy looked at me, and we both stared laughing. Dan shook his head at us „Man, and Jessy tought i will be pain in the ass when we meet. You two are impossible.“ „Untill you get some whiskey in you.“ i teased, mischievous grin showing on his face. „Exactly!“ he chimed happily, but Jessy was already giving him one of her stern looks. „Dannn..“ she started, but i stod to his defense „Aww, c'mon Jessy, dont be like that. You did promise me you will let Dan of the hook when i get out of the hospital. We are celebrating afer all.“ Now both Dan and me wer looking at her, making the best puppy faces we could. „Oh you two!“ she said, waveing her finger at us. „Fine, just this once! As you said, we are celebrating.“ Dan gave me a high five as a sign of our victory, wich now made Jessy shake her head, adding wit a groan „Oh, im soooo gonna regert this.“ I hugged her, pecking her on the cheek, cherfully saying „We could all use some fun.“ She looked me inquiringly, as we wer seated at our table „What got you in such a good mood?“ „Oh, nothing much“ i said, not realizing my smile widening „I'm just happy to be alive and kicking.“  The restoran was really nice, and quite packed with people, but not too loud, so we could normaly talk. We ordered some food and just had a nice time, talking casualy, eating, drinking, laughing and teasing eachother. Jessy became a really good friend to me in this short time, i was grateful to have her in my life. Both her and Dan. And she and Dan went so well together. He looked tough at the surface, but she calmed that restlesness in him. And she looked happy with him, sincerely happy. At some point, Dan excused himself and went for the toilet. As he left the table, Jessy looked at me, squinting her eyes „Spill it out already!“ I tilted my head on the side „What possibly could you mean?“ „Ohh, dont keep me on edge, Maya!“ she pleaded. „I knew the moment i saw you something was up.Spill it!“ „Fine, fine“ i started, her look getting all curious. „I saw Jake today.“ I said grinning like a little kid. She squileed from excitement, waveing her hands on the side „Talk! Now, before Dan comes back! And dont you dare to leave anything out!“ I chuckled at her. I quickly told her everything that happened, her listening patiently. When i was done, she was smiling from ear to ear, and i guess i did the same. „I told you so!“ she siad, and i burst laughing. „Oh, i had a feeling you might say that.“ „Well, was i wrog?“ she asked, to wich i shook my head in agreement with her. „Then i should say it again: I told you so!“ she said cheerfully. „“All right, all right, lets not get ahead of ourselves“ i started „It was a start, a promising one, but he still cant get over it completly.“ „That may be“ she said „But it wont be long till all will be allright again, you'll see.“ She smiled at me, and let a little squeek of excitement again, and this time i joined her. Dan returned to the table, looking both of us quizzically „What are you two up to now?“ he asked, as he sat back at his chair. We looked at eachother, grinning, and Jessy replied, winking at me „Oh, just talking some girls stuff.“ Dan made a face „You're talking about 'hacker boy', arent you?“ I looked sharply at him „Yes we are, if you must know. And i told you to stop calling him that.“ As i said it, i kicked him at his lower leg under the table, just as he was taking a sip of his beer. „Sorry, sorry“ he said, stedying his glass „Old habbits die hard.“ I stuck my toung at him, and he did the same back. „Stop it you two!“ Jessy hissed at us, and we started giggling. „Well, then“ Dan started to say „If you dont mind, leave that mooshy wooshy stuff for later, when im not arround. I would like to keep my dinner 'in', if you get me.“ He made a gaging gesture, wich made Jessy hit him on the shoulder. „What“ he protested „I'm just being honest here.“ He grinned at her. I smiled „Fine, fine, no more wooshy mooshy talks from now on. But, im in need of that chocolate then, to compensate for it!“ i teased, and Dan just grinned at me „Way ahead of you!“ Now it was my turn to look at him with confusion, when the waiter came to our table bringing three pieces of chocholate cake. I took a bite of mine, Dan asking „So, all good?“ „You're lucky i'm a sucker for chocholate..so, yes, all good.“ I said smiling and taking antoher bite. „Well, since you're in such a good mood, i have a confession to make.“ Jessy was looking at me now, smiling through her teeth, a bit nervous . „Our evening kinda doesnt involve just this dinner.“ „Mhm, go on, talk“ i said „I had a feeling you had something else in plan for me tonigh.“  „Well, its just that everyone was asking me about you..soooo i invited them all to join us for drinks at Aurora later.“ „Kinda tought that might happen.“ I said seriously, and Jessy's mood got down a bit. „But, only if Dan promisess me some karaoke fun.“ Jessy chuckled. „Dear God, is there anything you didnt tell her?“ Dan asked, and she started moving her eyes from one side to the other, gesturing her thinking „Hmm let me see.“ Dans eyes opened wide in wonder. „I might still keep few things to myself.“ She turned to me, winked, and we laughed. Poor Dan took three big gulps of his beer „We better hurry to Aurora, i need something stronger then beer.“

[bubblyani]

Back for Good

(Jim Davis x Reader)

A Jim Davis One Shot

Movie: Harsh Times (2005) by David Ayer

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Alcohol use, Swearing,  Violence and Sexual Content

Word Count: 9k+

Summary: Your spirits are lifted when your older boyfriend Jim Davis returns from the Army for good. As the lovers passionately reunite, you begin to reminisce the first encounter, and the unforgettable event that sealed your fate with Jim, possibly forever.

Author’s Note: One of the fantastic Balehead Accounts on Instagram once posted a photo of Jim Davis with a caption more so along the lines of “…Older boyfriend Jim visiting you at College…”. It was too irresistible to ignore. So this story was born. @tammykelly You are an angel to even show some enthusiasm towards this, even before I started, Thank you for the encouragement ! Hope y’all enjoy!

P.S: If anyone want to be tagged in specific Bale! Character fics please do let me know. And if you wanna be removed from anything NOT BATMAN, please feel free to let me know. I understand completely. 

Three.

It costed three people. Merely three for this nightmare scenario to enter reality.

A tall young man panted fast, his right hand assuming full responsibility for the broken bottle, not to mention the intense bleeding that resulted from it. All the while he stared down at his finished product: a much younger man. He watched the figure groan for his dear life, laying defeated and thoroughly bruised; as a weak stream of blood appeared prominent from his head as well, adding a splash of bright color to the dark and dusty pavement. Only in that moment, realization and bitter reality coupled up to surprise the standing man, with a sucker punch.

Which was transparent enough for the young woman beside them, the witness. Violence, Danger, her trembling heart sensed it all. For that was what his strong aura emitted. However, never did she flinch. Never did her heart consider retracting from him. On the contrary, she was compelled to trust him even further.

Especially when she sensed complete safety in him, above all others.

“Let’s go”

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 (Present)      

The dusky skies appeared just as serene over South Central Los Angeles as anywhere else in the country, filtering over the streets and the neighborhoods. Cruising through in favorable speed, Mike Alonzo finally took his eyes off the road, permitting them to land on the tall, young man sitting beside him on the passenger seat: his best friend, Jim Davis.

His downcast expression was evident, with his tall frame sunken into the seat. He stared right ahead, while he sipped his bottle of beer in his suit. This posture was nothing short of a surprise for Mike to glance upon. If he had squinted his eyes, he swore he could imagine Jim as the rebellious teenager he once was. Only with a new buzz cut. Otherwise, it seemed that nothing had really changed.

Except it had. Older and forced to be responsible, they were facing times considered very harsh. And Jim just had a taste of it.

“Sorry, dude”

Mike began, looking back at the road. Shaking his head with disbelief, Jim sat up in slow motion as his teeth began to grind.

“Man! Fuck…this...shit!!”

Jim drawled with disappointment, enunciating every word whilst holding up a piece of paper, “I’m so done with this cop hate bullshit!” He added, taking another sip of alcohol. Mike nodded:

“Yeah, dawg. Forget about that! ” He smiled, smacking his friend on his shoulder in a playful demeanor, “Hey, Syl is cooking tonight…You wanna join us, bro?”

The possibility of his girlfriend Sylvia agreeing to this, was at an all time low. Mike was well aware. Yet, he was certain it was a question worth posing to his friend in need.

“Nah, man! I got plans”

Hitting the brakes in front of the stop lights, Mike looked at his friend again with surprise, “Yeah?” He inquired, looking quite pleased. Finally flashing a proud smile, Jim nodded:

“Yep! Gonna go see my woman soon…” he answered. Eyes widening seemed appropriate for Mike at that very moment.

“Yo, No shit!” Mike cried out with excitement, finally stepping on the gas, “The chick from UCLA*? You…you still with her?” He inquired.

“Yeah, Homie! ”

“Dawg!…” laughing with sheer amazement, Mike looked at Jim, “I’m impressed…really” he added, proceeding to chuckle, “Look ‘atchu…my boi Jim....going steady with the fine ass college chick…”

“Whoo!” With his soul finally returning to his body,  Jim howled, “Finer than fine, dawg!”

“Hell yeah!”

Given the state of hyped energy that erupted in the car between the two young men, it would be nearly impossible to guess how sombre it was just before. “So…so…” Mike continued, holding on to the wheel as they kept driving, “… where you gon’meet?”

“Well…actually…” Jim looked at him, licking his lips, “….it’s a surprise” he added with a playful smirk. To which Mike could not help but laugh, “What?” Mike paused, “You didn’t tell her you’re back for good?”

Seeing his friend shake his head like a naughty schoolboy forced him to laugh harder, “Ohohoho!! this is gon be one hell of a reunion, dawg” He added with sheer enthusiasm, “But seriously though, she’s a real good one too, bro…” Mike opinionated, as soon as his laughter died down, “ I mean, even Syl liked her”

“Shit! For real?”

“Yeah yeah yeah…” Mike answered immediately,  “And you know Syl, she ain’t easy to please”

Gulping down the remnants of the bottle, Jim exhaled and stared out through the window, “Shit man!” He exclaimed, “I’m really gonna see her again, huh?”

With his tone growing deeper, his eyes began to burn with a flame that could only be categorized as lustful. Sensing the vibe that did not seem so new, Mike chuckled:

“Oh yeah! My homie’s gonna get it tonight! Salud*”

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The buzz, the chatter of young adults was consistent in the hallway outside. It served as background noise when the door of the toilet cubicle burst wide open, spitting a rather young woman out of it with haste. Only then did the mirror managed to identify her: You.

With your hand clutching on to a bra, you let out a relieved sigh. For within a few seconds, your body experienced a new form of liberation. And you managed to savor it on your own in a public ladies washroom. Wearing a soft smile that was easily reflected in the mirror, you stuffed the piece of lingerie into your shoulder handbag.

“Seriously?”

You jumped with a yelp. Being so wrapped around in your own thoughts, you did not even notice Yara, your friend standing there. With her arms folded and eyebrows raised, it was clear that her face was rife with judgement.

“What?” You inquired breathlessly, “Auntie Flo* is about to visit…and the twins were just swelling to …get some parole time” you added with a playful smirk, pointing at your chest with no shame. The curves of your now-freed bosom seemed more visible through your cardigan top, “And fuck! it feels so good” you exclaimed, as you washed your hands. Yara however, scoffed with amusement:

“So you’re saying you were squirming in your seat the whole time to let the puppies out?”

“What? I had to pee too!”

“Well, You could have just left right then!” She insisted with a seeming annoyance, as you grabbed a tissue.

“…and miss Mr. Linney’s Final Notes? Uh uh! No way, bitch!” You waved your index finger with disapproval as you both exited. Students had flooded the hallway by then. Evening lectures at UCLA finally had drawn to a close, and Friday night was about to make its entrance. Youth in all shapes and colors, gathered in bunches all over the campus area, even beside the beautifully lit Royce Hall. Suffice to say, all were relieved to have some time off in the weekend.

“So…you coming, right?”

You looked at Yara upon her casual inquiry with confusion, “For what?”. Scoffing again, this time in disbelief, Yara's eyes widened looking at you: “Dinner?…tonight?”

She stressed, taking a step out of the campus building, “Last week you promised you’ll join me and Chase” with her arms folded and foot tapping on the ground in pure restlessness, she was a clear visual of a loanshark. However, that impatience left her system the moment her eyes fell behind you,“…and speaking of Chase…Baby!”

With her face lit up, her tone grew affectionate as Chase, her boyfriend rushed over to her.

“ ‘sup babe!” The tall, young blonde greeted, pulling his ebony goddess of a girlfriend for a passionate kiss.

Folding your arms, you could not help but avert your eyes. All the while you drew circles with your foot on the ground. Chase and Yara’s relationship certainly was a refreshing one to glimpse upon in the campus premises. You approved of it with sincerity, even when you looked away in awkwardness. It was not on spite. Truthfully, PDA was nothing you disapproved of. You were certainly not envious of the joy they possessed as their lips played with one another, quite similarly to a steamy MTV music video. You merely looked away, for any display of affection was a sheer reminder of him.

It had been months since you last saw him, possibly 6. And constant communication was not exactly convenient for him. Not in his situation. Was he alive and happy? The sheer reminder of gunshots and helicopter whirring forced your heart to race, which was nothing short of new. Granted, you had learnt to ‘compartmentalize’, a term you recently came to knowledge in your psych minor class. Yet, you were young and only human to have those concerns return to haunt you even for a few seconds. The sound of Yara and Chase’s lips smacking urged you to look up. Finally, you thought.

“So?” Yara inquired, casually wiping the smudged lipstick off her face, “You coming?”

Carefree, yet extremely inconsiderate, that was what she exuded. A knot of anxiety formed in your stomach. For oddly enough, the sight of the happy couple managed to drain your energy out tonight. You longed to run away.

“Honestly…” you began with a sigh, “I don’t really feel so good tonigh-”

“¿Qué pasa, guapa?”

   What’s up, gorgeous?  

That voice. That deep, spine tingling tone was a reminder of your mere existence. The tone that tempted every hair in your body to stand at attention. Turning around in a flash, you covered your mouth, shocked to find the person you prayed to see all this time.

“JIM??” You cried out in a muffled tone, “Oh my GOD!!-”

Squealing in pure joy, you sprinted towards Jim Davis before jumping into his arms. Seemingly extremely pleased, Jim let out a hearty laughter. Suddenly the energy you were drained had returned in the form of a shot of adrenaline when he picked you up and spun you around, kissing you without hesitation. And you swore the feel of his lips on yours added a couple of years into your life.

“Wait, you didn’t tell me you were coming back so soon” Breathless, you pointed out when he finally put you down.

“Well, I’m back for good, baby” Jim replied, extending his arms outward with pride. Your eyes widened: “What? You serious?”

“Yep…” he grinned nodding, “Honorably discharged…and all yours”

You sensed his tone morph into a low purr the moment he pulled you close to him. And you would be lying if that did not fill your stomach with butterflies. After ages.

“Umm….”

Yara’s voice emerged. You and Jim turned back, to find her and Chase appearing the most confused, “…you mind telling us who this is…?” She inquired with raised eyebrows.

Finally in realization, you chuckled. For introductions were in order.

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The aromatic scent crept into your nostrils, only to soon disappear out of the lack of attention provided. All the while an uptempo Latin Pop track playing in the background mingled with Yara and Chase’ voices, but unfortunately faded away into mere mumbles. For none of that seemed to be the key focus for you tonight. Not when Jim Davis was around.

Even seated at a crowded Mexican Restaurant, he mattered the most to you. Even when platefuls of delectable Taquitos* were served to the table, your eyes did not leave his irresistible side profile. And when his sense of expertise noticed and his eyes caught your gaze, you were breathless. You wondered if it was the romantic in you surfacing, for all seemed to appear in slow motion. His eyes remained seductive, washing all over you that it was certain your panties might melt and diminish into thin air. Those eyes were truly sorcerous, that your eyes suddenly had lives of their own to the point you could sense their figurative cheeks heat up with heavy blushes. For his eyes, they were proficient in the dirty talk as much as his mouth was. Breathing in his cheap cologne with depth, you suddenly grew aware of his touch, and the fact he had his arm wrapped around your shoulder all this time. Being lost in his eyes was definitely an out-of-body experience.

“Hey!”

Your soul reunited with your frame upon Yara’s call.

“Mmm?” Looking over at the couple sitting across the table, you and Jim were unfazed.

“Aren’t you two gonna eat?” Yara inquired with raised eyebrows while Chase had began to gobble. Her gaze questioned both your sanity. To which you and Jim could not help but chuckle in response. Shaking her head, Yara scoffed:

“It’s so weird…” she began, “…seeing you like this”. Wiping the crumbs off his mouth, Chase joined in with confidence, “Yeah! How did you guys even meet anyways? I mean, no offense but…we never thought she’d be the one…” he stressed, pointing at you, “… to have an older boyfriend who’s a Marine-”

“-Army Ranger” Jim corrected. His gaze and tone was dominant, enough for Chase to wither with intimidation.

“Yeah…” Chase nodded with a gulp, “…what you said…”. You would be lying if you admit you did not enjoy that sight.

“Actually…” you finally began, “We met a year ago” turning to face your boyfriend, “ He was back in LA during his break. We met at a bar”

“Hold up! ” Raising her hand, Yara was wide eyed, “How come I didn’t know about this?”

“Cause this happened a year ago, hun. Calm down” you chuckled, “Actually, this was even before Cin transferred. Hah! you didn’t miss much…Don’t worry” you assured upon seeing Yara’s pout, “It was a small bar, but I loved the Pistos*-I mean…” you paused with a smile, “….the beer there…” Your pause caused Jim to chuckle alongside once again. Safe to say it was a chuckle that encompassed a shared memory. A sweet reminder of your first ever meeting.

“And?…that’s it?” Chase inquired with amusement, with both hands resting on the wooden table, “You both meet at a bar one night and…” he whistled, “…then sparks flew?”

Looking at them both, you could sense the suspicion in their eyes. You longed to answer, however it was not so easy to do so. Pausing, you struggled with a response.

“Absolutely!”

Jim answered for you with nonchalance, while his grip on you tightened. For a split second you both exchanged a gaze of reassurance. And you had never been more relieved. The secret was safe.

“So…”, Turning towards the couple, Jim began, “How did you lovebirds meet then?”

Hesitation was certainly not in Yara’s vocabulary when she offered to speak. Leaving her sight, your eyes darted towards the the chilled beer that Jim placed on the table. You smiled to yourself. They were certainly filled with memories.

Reminiscing your first meeting with Jim Davis, never failed to be exciting every single time. Before Yara ended up in your life, there was Cindy. Noticing your evident sadness due to her surprise transfer to USC*, Cindy was hell bent in comforting you, thus suggesting you join her and her boyfriend Ray for a night out in South Central. You agreed, being desperate enough to spend the final few days with your roommate. Situated at the suburbs, this bar was small, intimate and seemingly inhabited by those who knew Ray, which resulted in a welcoming atmosphere upon arrival. Though the place was mostly filled with gangsters, you did not care for the slightest, when especially you found yourself falling for the unexpected; The beer.

Chilled to perfection, the beer there was unlike any that you had tasted before. And it was certainly a surprise, given they were the usual brands. You could not fathom the refreshing sensation that trickled down your throat with the first sip. That sensation tempted your hips to sway, urged your feet to move in rhythm. All in syncopation with the music that played in the jukebox under the dim lights. Until finally bumping into a man woke you from your intoxication. A man you were fascinated with in an instant:

Jim Luther Davis.

Such a pity that Yara’s gusto-filled story barely reached your ears. For reliving a memory simply seemed sweeter for you. Thus, you continued to do so.

Fortunately, Jim Davis did not end up being a handsome stranger that you simply bumped into, for coincidence had other plans. Especially, when he and Mike Alonzo turned out to be Ray’s mutual older drinking buddies. You were ecstatic. Internally, of course.

With the entire group packed together in the booth table, it was one loud but engaging hangout. Except for you. Somehow you preferred to sit right next to Cindy in silence, being distracted by two things: Beer, and Jim.

Blame the chemicals embedded in your system, for you simply found yourself drawn to him. Truthfully, it did not seem so difficult to begin with. Not when he turned out to be your type in appearance. You found yourself watching him. The manner in which he listened to others with swagger and confidence, the manner in which he held himself ; They all brought a certain air to him. Your attention had pierced through all manner of secrecy that he would occasionally end up catching your gaze. And then you would look away, quick and embarrassed. Though you must admit, it was a game you thoroughly enjoyed playing. But at the same time, you felt idiotic and childish.

“Cat got yo tongue, baby?”

You blinked, looking up. Fabio, one of Ray’s friends threw the query over to your direction, all of the sudden. And with that, the table grew quiet. All the eyes landed on you, except for Jim’s. A surge of embarrassment rushed towards you when awkward silence filled the booth. For you were definitely distracted to the point you did not follow the conversation. With you struggling to form an answer, Fabio snickered:

“Yo Cindy, What’s up with yo friend? She deaf or somethin’?”

“Easy, homie”

Before Cindy could respond, Jim’s quick reply arose. And you swore your eyes caught the sight of his hand ball into a fist as his eyes had grown dark. Oddly enough, that was the comfort you needed right then.

“Don’t mind me, Fabio…” you shrugged with confidence, “I’m just a girl hooked on her Pistos” you said, enunciating the Spanish word before taking another sip. You may have smiled at him, but you knew how much you feigned it. Awkward silence remained intact. But Ray managed to save the night, by changing the topic of conversation. Slightly embarrassed, Fabio shot you a look. All before he leaned towards his friends, muttering some words in Spanish.

“You speak Spanish?”

Jim’s low query made you turn to him.

“N-No…” you answered with nervousness.

“Well…” he began, “…you should” Though his tone was of seriousness, he did not fail to flash you a soft smile that comforted you even further.

Thus, the evening progressed. And you began to notice Jim in much detail. The more you did, you discovered a warmth that seemed to trickle down your heart. For you realized, you would not be able to stop yourself from falling for him. Hard.

You smiled to yourself, relieved Yara still did not know you were drifting away in your head, stuck in a memory.

Unable to stop obsessing over him since that first night, you remembered how you found yourself returning to the same bar the following night, alone.

Stepping into the venue, you suddenly were aware how unprepared you were. Even while placing an order at the bar counter, you remembered covering your mouth with embarrassment. Was this a mistake?

“Hey Baby! ”

Jumping in your barstool, you sighed with annoyance when you realized it was Fabio sneaking up on you.

“Just…” you feigned a chuckle, “Don’t call me baby, okay?”. Evidently ignorant, Fabio seemed to have chosen to stay. To your dismay. Sporting gold chains on his neck and wrists, Fabio was on a dire attempt to emulate a thriving gangster, when he actually was just another college kid like Ray.

“So, whatcha doing all by yourself, baby? Don’t tell me…you’re here to see yo boi Fabio?”

Keep telling yourself that, you thought. Exhaling in frustration, you maintained a tight smile, “I uh…just waiting for someone” you struggled. Flashing a mischievous smile, Fabio leaned in closer. You prayed he would not notice how your nose scrunched up by his heavy cologne with disgust. And how your body tightened when his eyes scanned you from top to bottom, licking his lips by the sight of your choker and your red, floral short dress.

“Who are we kidding?” He sniggered, “You wanna piece of this, huh? Come o-” “No!” You cut him off, “I’m really…” feigning a chuckle once again, “…waiting for someone…Thanks” you said, extending your hands in defense. Given the reaction of those around you, it may have been a louder response than expected. For Fabio turned red, making it his queue to slither away. You sighed deep. Luck did not seem to get on with you from the moment you stepped in here. Was this a mistake? When you felt a finger tap you on your shoulder, you rolled your eyes and turned around. For you were ready to give Fabio a piece of your mind.

Except, it was not Fabio.

“Hey…”

Jim greeted you, his deep tone announcing his arrival. Standing at an appropriate distance, he stood tall with a hint of swagger. Your body began to finally relax by the sight, especially when your eyes were refreshed by the open plaid shirt worn along with his white vest and baggy pants.

“Hey…” breathless, you began, “Hey!” Confidence finally became you as you repeated with a smile. The bartender caught your attention the moment he placed a chilled bottle of beer on the counter before you.

“Make it two, Hermano* ” Jim said, handing the man some cash. All the sudden, guilt washed over you as you gasped: “Oh I-”

“I got this…” Jim assured, seeing you reach into your bag. Grateful, you nodded, “So…” he began, “Can seem to get enough of them Pistos, hmm?” An inquiry left his lips the moment he received his own bottle. Smiling shyly, you bit the side of your lower lip. The manner in which that word rolled out his tongue caused excitement. Besides, his mouth suddenly seemed more delectable. Oh, his mouth.

“Yeah…” you admitted, “Can’t get enough…and I hope I never will”

You added, gazing directly into his hazel orbs. It simply was a mistake to do so, given how those eyes burnt with curiousity, urging you to blush in return, “And er…” pausing, you looked down, “ I was kinda hoping I’d catch you around” you said, looking up again.

“Yeah?” Jim inquired, genuinely surprised, “Why?”

That was when you froze. He was right, what exactly was your intention of seeing him tonight? Unfathomable on how you gathered courage to blurt that silly line in the first place. What if you dragged yourself all the way here to be rejected? What if there never was a form of enthusiasm from his corner as you hoped? What if this ends up being the story of a silly sophomore college girl, having delusions over an older man?

You chuckled with a nervous tone, “Well I-…” you paused, as your pulse began to grow loud within you, “Sorry…” you muttered, sliding off the stool, “This was just a stupid idea. I should go-”

“Wait!”

You turned upon Jim’s call. Showing his bottle, he shrugged:

“These Pistos aren’t gonna get finished themselves, hmm?” He dared to pose that inquiry with a playful grin. Smiling back involuntarily, you knew you had no comeback for that.

You remembered the chill outside the bar that night. The breeze that caressed your exposed skin of your legs were still fresh in your memory. Gazing at whatever stars your eyes could make out amidst the city lights, you and Jim sipped on the chilled alcohol from the porch. Given the fact there were little to none outside, the evening was unexpectedly intimate.

“Your uh…” clearing your throat, you finally broke the surprisingly comfortable silence, “Your friend not with you tonight?”

“Mike?” Jim inquired, to which you nodded, “Nah! he’s got his hands full” he answered with a smile.

“You guys close?”

“Hell yeah…He’s my homeboy, ya know? Since we were kids”

“Sweet. Must be nice.” You smiled in return, looking back at the sky, “I uh…remember that you serve. Iraq, huh?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Fallujah* ” Jim answered with a nod, looking at you.

“Whoa…” you breathed in wonder. Silence took over once again while your tongue  savored the beverage.

“And you?…UCLA?” Jim spoke before wiping his mouth, “Man! That’s some fancy ass shit right there”

“Yeah well… it ain’t a walk in the park…” you contradicted in a shy tone, forcing him to shoot you a look of concern. To which you chuckled, “I’m on scholarship, I mean…” you added, helping him come to realization, “Hehe yeah…I had to nerd my way into that gig” moving side to side, you could not help but take another sip,“But, I know…what a good thing I got going on. And I know… if I screw it up, then I’m FUCKED” you enunciated the end, which drove him to laughter. You adored how it soothed you somehow.

“Well…” he began, “…whatever fucking takes, right?”

You nodded, “Hell yeah…Here’s to…uh…positive shit! Hah!” You laughed as you both clinked the bottles together. The more alcohol that chose to settle in your system, the bolder you became:

“What’s it like?”

“What?”

You fully turned to him, “Being out there…in Iraq…” you continued, “I mean…I’m guessing you’ve seen some shit…” you inhaled, “you know…shit you can’t forget, right? I mean, shit like that…” you scoffed, “….that shit can fuck…you…up…” at that moment you could not help but find yourself lost in thought.

But Jim’s surprised expression made you pause. You chuckled in embarrassment.

“I’m just…guessing…” you muttered, sipping once again. Perhaps you went a tad bit too far with the blabbering. For your cheeks began to heat up with worry. Until Jim spoke:

“Well…Shit or no shit…Follow orders, that’s what we do” Instead of a frown, Jim replied, taking a huge gulp from his bottle.

“Yeah…I get it” you nodded in a fast pace. Robust, and straightforward, his attitude was to be admired. Funny you found yourself staring at his side profile long enough, his face could easily be compared to that of a statue. Perfect in proportion, your mouth began to dry out. You were attracted to him, shamelessly so.

“I-”, You paused, suppressing a grin, “…never mind”

“What? What is it?” He asked, looking at you. To which you shook your head frantically.

“Nah, it’s really silly…”

“Come on!…tell me” Fully turning, Jim insisted with a smile. His voice had its way of being persuasive. And his voice had its way of tearing your defenses down, or so it seemed. Taking a deep breath, you began:

“I kept thinking about this but…” you paused, “Last night, you said I should learn some Spanish… Why?”

Desperate for more interaction, that was your excuse. Jim responded with a shy chuckle. Certainly was worth it.

“I mean, we just met and you barely knew me…” you continued with a smile, “So…why?” As your question grew more confident, your inner desperation grew strong. Taking his last sip from the bottle, Jim surprised you by taking a step towards you:

“You really wanna know the truth?”

“Try me” , You replied, quickly finishing your own bottle, all without breaking away from his gaze.

And thank goodness you finished it. For you would have surely dropped it. Especially when Jim stood dangerously close to you, causing you to be immediately aware of the muscles between your thighs contracting. Even more so, when his irresistible eyes traveled from your very own all the way to your alcohol stained lips.

“Cause…” he purred, “…you have no fucking clue how sexy you sound”

You both may have chuckled to his line, but that did not mean your pulse did not quicken. Which increased in speed the moment his eyes took hold on yours once again. Seduction, he certainly was proficient in it. And you, were a witness. A witness who suffered from internal combustion of frustration.

You inhaled deep, “Really?” “Yeah…” he breathed in a sultry manner.

Just when you thought no force on earth could break this eye contact, the door burst open. Some men exited. Breaking away, you looked at your watch watch in an instant. You sighed. Real Life was calling you.

“I…I gotta go…” downcast, you muttered with guilt, “Class tomorrow…” adding extra guilt, you knew that excuse certainly did not put you in a good light.

“Lemme drop you then…”

Jim’s nonchalant and nonjudgmental reply urged you to look up with relief. Smiling in agreement, you watched him enter the bar with the empty bottles. And in that very moment, a tingling sensation filled with thrill washed over you, leaving no inch unattended. Butterflies returned to your stomach, fluttering harder than ever before in your life. Were you being hopeful? Could Jim Davis be desiring the same? Goosebumps traveled through you when that tingling sensation returned with much detail. Too much detail to be specific.

Until you realized it was real. And Jim’s hand was directly at fault here.

Blinking back to the present reality, your eyes caught the sight of Jim’s chilled fingers on your leg. They ran over over your inner exposed thigh in circular motion, thus, inciting the tingling sensation. Of course, no wonder the detail was accurate.

Yara and Chase were oblivious to all this, for they were caught up in their own love story as she kept yapping. But that was only the fact Jim kept on such a convincing focused face. He may be ‘listening’ to your friend, but his hand was evidently not. The longer his fingers lingered on your skin, the more you were reminded of him. And the more you began to tingle and sweat in the most unexpected places.

You were young, and unapologetically shameless. 6 months. It was exactly 6 whole months since you were last physically intimate with your boyfriend. And with studies piling up along with the expectation of a scholarship holding sophomore, ‘getting yourself off’ was never an option. Not with a roommate around.

The tingling sensation grew even stronger. And you began to hear your own quickening breath. Jim Davis’ elongated fingers, they spoke of pride. You longed for them to travel to locations far more adventurous and private than your thighs. Especially when they were rife with experience. Truthfully, it was a fact that his hands and his delicious lips and tongue were fluent in your body than your own self. Being pleasure deprived for too long, the mere thought of him ravishing you, aroused you even more. Aroused, and certainly very starved. The kind that food simply could not satisfy.

“...and under the stars…” Yara continued, holding on to Chase with lovestruck eyes, “…he told me he loved m-”

“Excuse me!”

Cutting her off, you cried out as you stood up in an instant.

“What’s up with you?” Chase inquired, whilst Yara looked offended.

“Just I gotta…pee…” you lied, eyes landing on Jim, “…now”

“Okay…” you heard Chase mutter in kind as you left the table, “…TMI, but whatever”

In all fairness, being judged was the least of your concerns. With every speedy step you took, the faster your heart began to beat. Storming into the empty ladies room, you found yourself staring at a mirror once again, with a heaving chest and noticeably flushed cheeks. It was plain to see, you were engulfed in the flames of pure arousal, and the fire needed to be put out.

And when the bathroom door opened up once again, you turned to find the fireman enter. Wearing a serious expression, it was slightly difficult to decipher his thoughts.

“I…” you struggled as Jim strode towards you, “I didn’t know what else to do-” Except he knew. When he attacked you with a passionate kiss.

Jumping into him was reflexive. Wrapping your legs around his waist seemed almost choreographed. Finally resting on the washroom sink, it was quite safe to admit how both of you were very much relieved to be the only occupants in the room. For there was no intention of holding back. Your denim skirt hiked high up, revealing your thighs in completion under the white fluorescent lights as Jim stood between your legs. And they were much cared for, as his hands gingerly rubbed them back and forth while his lips indulged yours with hunger.

“You think they know I lied?”

Breathless, you inquired with innocence. Except you did not receive an instant reply. Not when you found yourself gasping when he pulled your head back by your hair with a growl. With liberated access to your bare neck, Jim celebrated by placing equally starving kisses all over, resulting in your surprising moans.

“You think I fuckin’ care?” He chuckled into your skin, to which you could not help but chuckle back:

“Oh no, you bad boy” you purred in tease.

“Oh yeah, baby girl …” purring back, his reply incited a giggle out of you before he kissed you once again.

“Ay Papi*!” You breathed into his lips before he snatched up yours for good. Surroundings were simply irrelevant the moment the kiss turned intense, as his tongue crashed in like the rude boy he was, and grabbed onto your own tongue in a passionate embrace. They clashed against one another in frenzy, him claiming you as his. As the kiss grew deeper, your moans grew louder. When he pulled away all the sudden, whimpers left your lips with desperation. Teasing you so, Jim took a good look at you:

“¿Como esta tu Español?” He breathed low. And you were pleased that you actually understood.

   How’s your Spanish?  

Pressing himself against you, he began to slowly grind. You grew excited. Listening to Jim Davis speak Spanish was simply erotic in the first place. And since you have been studying it on your own for past few months, you were certainly impatient to show him.

“Yo…” you began, finding the words “…estudio pala-sorry…” with a nervous chuckle, you looked down, “..I know I suck-”

“No no…keep going” Jim insisted with a smile, bringing your chin up for a reassuring kiss, “Now say it again…” he added, maintaining eye contact with ferocity. Taking a deep breath, all the words clearly appeared in your head. Thus, you flashed a mischievous grin:

“…estudiando palabras…muy importantes”

   I am studying…very important words.  

Gasping was all you could do when Jim picked you up, carrying you into the nearest toilet booth. Thankfully with this restaurant being surprisingly hygienic, you did not mind. Life barely was embedded in your legs the moment he put you down, locking the door behind you to push you against it.

“Oh yeah?” He inquired, panting, “¿Cómo cuál?”

   Like what?  

Panting alongside him, you stood up straight, “Por ejemplo…”

   For example…  

Amidst his pants and his impressed expression, you grabbed his hands, placing them over your buttocks. All the while you looked at him with eyes, heavy with lust:

“¡Haz lo que quieras!”

You could not believe how confident you sounded. Smiling with equal lust in his eyes, Jim kissed you in approval, definitely pleased with what he just heard:

   (Do) whatever you want!  

Growling with effect, his animalistic nature was exuded as his hands gripped onto your buttocks with passion. His big, generous hands felt through every cheek with familiarity, as if they just reunited with a long lost friend. But that did not mean he forgot about all the other friends, the rest of your frame that had missed him as well. Moaning with pleasure, you began to unbutton his white shirt during in haste.

You simply adored his hands, for they were as passionate as his Spanish was. As he proceeded to hold on to your hips, your own hands roamed over his torso over his white vest. Except you froze the second his hands landed on your chest. Shaky breaths exited your lips as you shivered by his touch, for your breasts were at its most sensitivity even through your thin cardigan top. Palming them generously, Jim groaned into your lips:

“Fuck! I missed you, Guapa”

“I missed you more, Papi”

Confessing in return, you kissed him once more. Moans of desperation mixed into your kisses the moment his hands dipped inside your cardigan crop top, only to make direct contact with your untethered bosom. You winced involuntarily, even from his touch so gentle. Jim chuckled with seeming victory. And you were not afraid to admit, how you were simply in the palm of his hand.

Usually, during the peak pre-menstruation, you dared not let anyone come close to you, let alone touch you. But when it was Jim Davis, those rules halt by the door. He was a man who could maneuver his touch. However, he certainly was no good boy. Proceeding with his sweet torture during kisses, you were relieved to have a door to keep you balanced. For his long fingers, they flicked, encircled and pulled your now-sensitive nipples, keeping them fully erect and thoroughly visible even through the clothes.

Gripping his vest even tighter, you pressed your thighs together, for intense levels of pleasure and sensitivity crashed within you, akin to an avalanche. In truth, it simply was an overdose, and you could not handle. You were a mere animal trapped in this cage of frustration. But like an animal, you managed to set yourself free. You pushed Jim back with such force, that he ended up sitting on the closed toilet seat behind him. A surprised expression adorned his face when you straddled him in the process. Peeling your cardigan off your torso, you hinted your need for him. Which immediately was motivation for him to unbuckle his pants. However, his eyes did not fail to leave your sight while he did. For his eyes revealed nothing but pure amazement and hunger. He inhaled deep:

“Fuck!” He uttered, while his hand dipped into his hardened manhood.

“Yeah, that’s right Papi…” you breathed, maintaining the ironclad gaze. All the while you permitted his hand to feel the intense dampness of your opening, “Fuck me!”

And thus, public decency went flying out the window the moment the lovers fully united. The manner in which his hands rested on your bare back; whilst you moved upwards and downwards in syncopation to his thrusts, it drove you wild. The manner in which his generous and erect shaft felt so familiar inside of your tight walls, was too intoxicating as always. His mutual desperation and hunger translated well, as his lips savored on your swollen and sensitive bosom as if they were treasured food rations. Tingles were divided into million branches, impacting every form of stimuli in your system. But even in the midst of these endless waves of pleasure, that certain question from Chase yet lingered in your mind:

  “And?…that’s it? You both meet at a bar one night and…then sparks flew?” “Absolutely!”  

For in truth, it was not just a night of drinking and playful flirting that caused this relationship to blossom. And just like that, You could not help but recall further.

And peek into the moment that remained stored in the deepest corner of your mind. In the form of a secret.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

With arms folded, you kept on waiting. Long enough for the chill outside to grow stronger. Long enough for you to begin pacing nervously. Even long enough for several men to exit the bar during. Given its cabin exterior, it became more and more evident that this was more of an old fashioned bar. You sighed. Jim was certainly taking a little bit too long inside.

Paranoia knocked on your heart’s door, forcing you to welcome it inside with reluctance. Thus, several questions began to occupy your thinking space. Was there trouble inside? A possible Bar Fight? You shook your head, for you were surely being delusional. Or worse, was this a part of his plan all along? The player type to ditch you for someone else? Perhaps with someone better looking that he just met. Envy formed in your heart towards a woman that possibly may not even exist. Your stomach turned in a merciless fashion. When the door opened again, a surge of hope grew in you. Could it finally be Jim?

Except it was not.

“Baby! You still around huh?”

Fabio said, in a pleased tone, exiting the bar. Clicking your tongue in an involuntary fashion, you turned away with frustration. For he was the last person you hoped to lay eyes upon.

“Hey-Wha-What’s the matter?” Fabio cried, “Can’t look at a friend?” Whilst he tapped you on the shoulder repeatedly. Alcohol was strong in his presence. And the fact he stood uncomfortably close certainly turned your stomach even more.

“Well, technically you’re not my friend” With a forced smile, you turned to him, “You’re Ray’s friend, OKAY? ” a snappy tone exited your lips. And for a split second, there was genuine offense painted in Fabio’s face.

“Just tryna be nice, jeez!” He muttered low, with arms lifted. Coming one’s senses, you finally drew in deep breath while letting your arms loose.

“I…I’m sorry, dude”  you said, in a soft tone, staring the droopy eyed young man. Being Cindy’s friend, your last intention was to cause friction Ray and his friends. Your tone seemed to have been convincing enough, for Fabio flashed a soft smile in return:

“It’s okay…” he replied, to which you were relieved.

But that relief was short lived. Especially when Fabio leaned forward with puckered up lips in an instant, forcing you to gasp.

“What the hell, man?” You inquired, pushing him back with aggression.

“Ah come on, baby…” he drawled, chuckling in a playful manner, “Just one kiss…I mean, look at you! You still waiting out here. For who? I know… you really came here for me” with open arms, he went in for an embrace. Scoffing, you pushed him back again. That was when your pulse quickened again. To the point you hoped to flee.

“That’s it! I’m leaving! ”

You snapped, darting away from the entrance. The concern of leaving Jim behind or finding a cab did not seem problematic anymore, for all you needed was to get away. However, a painful cry left your lips when you felt your hair being pulled back. Your eyes widened. It was an angry Fabio.

“Ugh! Why you being such a Puta* right now, huh?” He said through gritted teeth, pulling you closer “Oh wait I forgot…” he snickered, “….you don’t understand Spanish, right bitch?” turning you to him. The alcohol had certainly rendered him more maniacal than ever.

“Don’t’ be a jerk, Fabio…” You cried, as you began to swing desperate punches towards his direction. But your defenses were lowered and moot, the moment he grabbed you tight by the wrists. You gasped, “..let… me… go! HELP! ”.

However, despite your cries, no one came to your aid.

This feeling, certainly was the ‘stuff of nightmares’. This feeling, had haunted you every now and again in imagination. To have it form into reality, was worse. No matter the force you exerted to free yourself, it seemed moot. For Fabio had the upper hand with his strength. And you were overpowered with intimidation. With the heartbeat increased in record speed, your heart was on the verge of exploding with fear. For the first time, you feared for your life. You despised the fact there was no one around, the fact this bar was on the outskirts. Almost close to tears, You heavily despised the fact you may be getting hurt in more ways than one tonight.

Until you heard a bottle shatter. Loud.

Glass fragments dripped from Fabio’s head as he cried out with immense pain. His grip on you loosened before he dropped down to the ground. Only for you to find Jim Davis standing behind him, with with a bottle broken in hand, and sheer rage in his eyes.

Rolling over, Fabio caught the sight of the man, “Jim??” He groaned, “What the hell, man? Why you helping this bitch-ARGH!”

A kick in the stomach was Jim’s choice in response, which incited more cries from the fool.

“THE FUCK YOU TOUCH HER FOR, HUH?” Jim yelled, his loud voice piercing through the tension like high pressured flames. However, the question seemed rhetoric, when he continued to kick Fabio, aggression growing more and more evident, “FUCKING…ASS…HOLE!” With tightened fists, he enunciated with each kick, “MOTHERFUCKE-”

“JIM!!!!”

You cried in an instant. And that very moment was when he finally froze. That fateful moment, you watched his face change, for his expression was clear as day. As if a wave of realization washed over him. As if bitter reality surprised him with a sucker punch.

All the while he stared down at his finished product: Fabio. He watched the the young man groan for his dear life, laying defeated and thoroughly bruised; all the while a weak stream of blood appeared prominent from his head and his mouth, adding a splash of bright color to the dark and dusty pavement.

Which was transparent enough for you, the witness.

You regretted being frozen with shock. If it only was for you to control. Thankfully a shred of it reached when you finally mustered the strength to call for him out from a potential murder. Violence, Danger, your trembling heart sensed it all. All from Jim. For that was what his strong aura emitted. However, despite your shock, never did you flinch. Never did your heart consider retracting from him or running away.

On the contrary, you were compelled to trust him even further. Especially when you sensed complete safety in him, above all others.

“Let’s go…”

You found yourself uttering those words, as you took his hand in urgency. Pulling him with haste, you both fled from the scene. Adrenaline coursing through the veins whilst running away, leaving a wounded man laying in his own mess before anyone could find out.

You remembered how Jim drove. Quiet, but focused. He drove and drove, until the bar disappeared from your sight. He drove to the point you both found yourselves ending up at a remote beach. And finally, time had returned to its normal pace once again.

Calming sounds of the ocean waves filled your ears, while the sight of the foamy waters barely were visible in the darkness. You watched Jim slowly take his hands from the wheel, rubbing his face. Your eyes widened, when you noticed his hand bleeding slightly. Perhaps from the broken bottle. You longed to speak, however no voice was present. Pushing the seat back, Jim slowly crawled over to the back of the car. Silence overpowered for too long, which urged you to clear your throat and speak:

“A…Are you ok-”

“You’re right, you know…”

You paused, upon hearing Jim’s interruption. Looking back from the front passenger seat, you found light finally shining on his face. Much to your sadness, cracks formed in your heart by the sight of his expression. Especially when silent tears streamed down his chiseled face. As if his mask of bravery was stripped away. Or even melted.

“You’re right…shit’s been crazy over there…” he chuckled with sadness, “…worse, shit’s crazy over here too…” he said, pointing at his own head.

Joining him in the backseat, you took the bandana off your head without hesitation.

“The thing’s I’ve seen…” he continued in mid-whisper, “The shit I had to do. The shit I wanted to do. It’s fucked up…so fucked up”.

It was unfathomable. Witnessing emotions of Jim Davis on variant scale in one single night, including him unveiling his vulnerability, you did not know where to begin processing. Simultaneously, those cracks in your heart, they could not help but form deeper to the point you ached inside. For a second, you were filled with an overwhelming desire for this misery in his heart to disappear. You longed for him to smile again. You froze. Were you tasting a slice of pure affection? Perhaps even, love? For him?

“It’s too fucked up…I’M fucked up-”

“Hey…hey…”

Your voice cracked when you finally began, leaning towards him, “Shhhh…It’s okay…” you said in comfort, while rubbing his forearm, “…its okay…I’m here” you said, as you occupied yourself with tending to his bleeding hand as a coping mechanism. The bleeding that he did not even notice.

With his hand on yours, the heart did feel heavier in comparison. As if his hand was magnetically powerful enough to keep you nearby. Thus, forming an attraction. Not the type that stirred the loins, but merely the kind that longed for you to wail on behalf of him. The kind to carry the pain for him. As if you did not wish to carry on another minute of your life, without knowing he would be well. And you would be lying if you did not want to show him that.

Your trembling hand reached out for his surprised face, turning it towards you with patience. The deep breath you took, it occupied your lungs in completion. Butterflies exploded in your stomach , causing a riot before you moved close. Close enough to feel his breath on your face. And close enough to press your lips on both his cheeks.

You tasted his salty tears, that stained his face. Pressing your own lips together, you hoped you could share his pain this way. Your eyes were smart, urging your voice to take a breather, whilst they gazed at his lips. Those lips that turned you greedy the moment you saw first laid eyes on them. And his trembling breaths of despair were enough for you to finally dispose of any form of hesitation.

For you finally moved to kiss him ever so gently on the lips.

With your kiss, you were there for him, in spite of it all. In spite of the violence and the tears. And the moment you instantly felt Jim kiss you back, you knew you were hopelessly his.

All the sudden, a dose of sweetness was infused with the salty kisses, weakening the flavor of the beer that lingered in his mouth. Selfishly, the need for comfort vanished. For all you needed was him. In every possible manner. Safe to say, Jim wholeheartedly agreed.

A sudden injection of passion entered your systems, setting your bodies in its entirety, in flames. Which also included the loins. Powerful enough for you to straddle him, powerful enough for Jim to flip you down to hover over you. And certainly powerful enough for the both of you to make love.

You treasured it all. The manner in which his fingers were precise, hooking on to your panties to gingerly peel them out of your frame. The manner in which his eyes gazed upon your own, then traveling all the way south to take in the sight of your now exposed opening, that dripped with wetness, blushing in its own means and begging him to explore it. Thus, it was to be expected, when you welcomed him inside you effortlessly. As if it had waited for him all your life.

Even for the first time, Jim was fast, and was rough. Yet surprisingly, you did not care. You knew where it originated. And it seemed most apt.

While he moved in body, he fled in heart. Away from the horrors, away from the pain. This resulted from his need for a distraction. Amidst the syncopated moans that filled the car, you cupped his face. Looking right into his hazel orbs, you witnessed his need. His need for a distraction. And at the peak of climax, you witnessed his desperation. His desperation, that urged you to never him go.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

         (Present)      

“I failed the test…”

Jim uttered low, capturing your attention. With your face buried in his neck, you heard it louder than ever. Tilting your head, you sat up straight to face him, confusion taking over. After reaching climax following a session of passionate and exciting love-making in a restaurant toilet booth, there you both were in recovery. Never did you expect him to break the silence with a statement such as this.

“What do you mean?” You inquired in a half whisper.

“The Psych test…” Jim elaborated, while you proceeded to put your cardigan top back on,  “…for the LAPD gig” sighing, he was downcast “I failed that shit…”

“No….” You breathed. The disappoint that was rife in his tone, somehow pierced through your heart. Thus, ushering in a wave of sadness that came crashing in, “Baby, I’m so sorry…” you said as you embraced him tight. To your surprise, Jim held you tightly in his arms in return. For when he buried his face on the crook of your neck and remained in silence for a mere few seconds, it was evident that was what he was required of. A rush of butteries attacked as you gently cupped his face.  You loved this man, and your heart was the witness.

“Fuck the cops if the they can’t relate” you said through gritted teeth, before kissing both his cheeks, “Fuck ‘em! Cause something better is comin’ ” you added with a soft smile, while your thumb ran over his upper lip, “We just gotta ...keep our heads straight”

To your relief, Jim seemed amused, “Speaking from experience?”

You smiled with pride, “You could say that…”

Both of you chuckled. “The point is…” you continued with a deep sigh, and huge smile, “I’m glad you’re back for good, baby”

Except for his own smile, it vanished right then. And in turn, his eyes watered and they shone, reflecting nothing but desperation and vulnerability. You took pride in being the one to witness it, just as you did that fateful night a few months back. Stroking your head with both hands, his forehead gently touched yours:

“¡Eres mia!” He breathed deep.

   You’re mine!  

How dare he? Expanding with immense warmth and impatience, it did not take long for your heart to gain rapid pace, as it was your very first time.

“¡Si, para siempre!”  You answered with confidence. For it was simply the truth.

   Yes, Forever! 

——————————————————

Index

UCLA : The University of California, Los Angeles Salud: Spanish term for “Cheers!” Guapa: Spanish term for Beautiful, Gorgeous Taquitos: A Mexican Food Dish Pisto: Mexican slang. A general term for an alcoholic beverage (usually beer) USC: University of Southern California Fallujah: A city in Iraq Papi: Spanish Term for Daddy Puta: Derogatory Spanish term for bitch, whore

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[ajokeformur-ray]

In your arms do I feel alive // J x Reader // after-sex cuddles.

Summary: After sex do you want a cuddle. J grumps and groans like the Drama Queen(tm) he is, but he secretly rather likes knowing just how much you love and need him.

NSFW THEMES WITHIN; protected penetrative sex alluded to, knife play + corresponding blood mentions. Aftercare is the main focus of this piece.

For @jokershyena​ - I’m sleepy and period-crampy and it’s only 8 PM so it’s too early to sleep lmao so I’m writing this to try to stay awake. I hope you like it, love! ^^

Word count: 1, 155.

Safe. Warm. Protected. Home. Loved.

These are just a few of the words which run through your mind when you so much as think about J. He is your soulmate, your one, and there is no one else for you. How could there be? J sees you for all that you are, all that you have been and all that you will be, and there’s nothing and no one he is more protective of than you.

It is during moments like these in which his devotion and loyalty to you is most obvious.

J stands from the bed with a weary sigh, his back muscles flexing impressively with every movement he makes. Hypnotised are you unable to look away from him as with quiet padding footsteps does J leave the room without a backward glance. He isn’t at all bothered by his own nudity, and you take the opportunity to watch him without a shred of shame; J watches you, so why can’t you do the same?

You whine, resisting the urge to pout. You are a definite cuddle bug and rarely does J allow you that luxury. You often feel like you have to earn these quiet moments with J during which his arms stay firmly wrapped around you, your head resting on his chest, his heartbeat in your ear, but the truth is that J just enjoys taking you to the point of begging for something which he was already planning on doing. 

So unsettling is his reputation, so dark was his past and so unforgiving are the vicious rumours that circulated about Gotham, all of which pertained to his apparent lack of humanity, his lack of emotion and of compassion, empathy and similar experiences, that J needs to be needed, but only by you. He can take the stares, the glares, the crude comments, the cold treatments, the assumption that he is a monster from the entire city, but from you will he only accept tender, loving touches. You are owned by each other in equal measures; J is yours and you are J’s and every citizen in Gotham knows about it. Your identity remains largely a secret for your own well being and protection, however. 

J cackles loud enough for you to hear him from where you lay in the bed, your core oversensitive and your body aching in the best of ways. You had been so well loved tonight that you are currently on the very precipice of sleep. Various marks litter your body, which have been left by J’s muscular, hot pink tongue, his teeth and his lips as he had sucked, kissed and nibbled his way around your body. The heat of his sinful tongue was contrasted by the cool metal of the knife which he dragged tantalisingly slowly over your skin. He didn’t cut you deeply, just enough to nick the surface of your skin, and as he had drove into you again and again, his hips snapping against yours, he had bitten into the curve of your shoulder to muffle his throaty groans.

Before you can fully count all the ways in which you have been marked this night, J’s back. “Ta-da! Did ya’ miss me, doll?”

You groan, making grabby hands at your chaotic clown with a sleepy smile. “Yeah, lots! You gonna’ cuddle me, J? You promised!”

“Yeah, yeah,” J shakes his head at you, his deft hands tracing around your neck, your chest, your stomach, thighs... he’s not being sensual or even sexual in this moment. Instead are you being meticulously checked over; J’s intense chocolate eyes fixed solely on your face. Any wince, any brief flash of your being uncomfortable, and he’ll go and get the first aid box. This wasn’t especially rough sex; it was fairly vanilla compared to some of your other escapades, but your safety and health is incredibly important. “Such an impatient brat, aren’t ya’?”

You hum, pressing your body into J’s hands. You want cuddles, and you want them now. “Yeah, but I’m your brat.” 

A noise made from the back of J’s throat is your only answer as with a damp washcloth does J’s hand dip between your thighs, almost clinically wiping you over. 

“Ya’ okay, doll? Didn’t hurt you too bad, did I?”

You shake your head. “You might if you don’t cuddle me, you coward.”

J clicks his tongue as he dumps the used washcloth on the floor; he’ll deal with it later. Maybe. “You’re needy tonight.” With an emphasis on the ‘t’ does he display his true amusement, mirth in his eyes.

“I’m needy every night!” Your false indignant tone makes J cackle, his shoulders quaking as he unceremoniously and gracelessly jumps over your body smoothly to get to the other side of the bed. Your body bounces with his every movements as J makes a show of getting comfortable before he opens his arms and looks at you expectantly. 

“Well? I’m a man of my word, Y/N. Ya’ want cuddles, don’t’cha?”

The biggest, purest smile on your face makes J’s mouth go dry and he licks his lips; your eyes catching the movement. Memories of what that tongue had just been doing to you made the apex of your thighs twinge and you imperceptibly shift your hips as you scoot over to rest your head on J’s chest, the steady rise and fall of his chest already lulling you further into sleep as his heartbeat pounds in your ear; he’s not as unaffected as he seems and you smile, pursing your lips to press a kiss to the space over his heart.

Strong arms encircle you and a muscular leg slips between your own as J pulls you so close to him that you’re pressed chest to chest, your heads sharing the same pillow. A large, hot hand, a heater is your clown, rests on your lower back and the other rubs soothingly up and down your back in firm motions. Smeared painted lips press a lingering kiss to your forehead and so strongly are his full lips pressed to your skin that you can still feel the imprint of them for moments after he has pulled away with an over-exaggerated “mwah!”.

Your eyes drift closed and you nuzzle into J, hearing him hum in the back of his throat as he, too, shuts his eyes. You’re the only one who can encourage J to lower his guard just enough to at least rest, and the knowledge that he trusts you this much makes you giggle into J’s bare chest, causing a huff of laughter to shake your human pillow.

“That tickles, Y/N.”

“Sorry.” You aren’t.

“Liar.”

You sigh in comfort and burrow yourself in as much of J as you can. Finally, finally, do you slip into sleep in much the same way as one slips into a hot bath; slowly, and then all at once.

Safe. Warm. Protected. Home. Loved.

Destructive raccoon boii™ @nothing-but-a-comedy @jokershyena   @anyatheladyclown   @mijachula   @joker-daddy    @rinbyo    @imightaswellnotexistatall    @vladtoly    @joker-is-my-hero    @liz-rdwitch   @enigmaticandunstable        @ledgerskitten    @tsukiakarinobara    @germansarechill      @ezziesworld

[batfamily14]

Jason!Hades x Reader!Persephone part 2 : It’s a Date.

An: As Zeus preys after young Persephone, Hades takes up Althea’s offer and hides her in the underworld. Things grow tense as the polar opposite meet but soon they both find themselves helplessly falling for another.

Tags: @sarcasmismyfirstlove @loxbbg @champagnesugamama

As the week went on Jason carved y/n throne from the marble walls. Decorating the seat with soft satin pillows, crested with several jewels and decorative dark tulles around the arms , black for elegance, provided from the underworld.

Once it was ready, y/n sat upon it nuzzling down into the throne as if she had always belonged.

“Don’t you think this place is a bit dull.” She waved her hand gesturing the walls. “At home my mother let me grow vines of flowers until they filled the room and reached the ceiling.” She smiles gently .

“Don’t they bore you?” She asks.

Hades studies the pale vacant walls from his throne . He tilts his head in thought. “They do.” He admits. “But, I have no time to tend to them, if you like you could change them how you see fit.” Y/n hands gleams from her powers as she bubbles with anticipations. Jason chuckles at the young girl’s response. Y/n rested her head in her hand, smiling at him. “I think I could be much of help.” Her eyes shimmer with mischief. “Maybe I could also help judge the mortal souls.” Jason scoffs at the idea and surprisingly y/n laughs at his expression.

———————————————

During y/n free time she explores Jasons' palace , her favorite place is the library where he keeps his favorite books written by the shades. His favorite he recalls was ‘pride and prejudice’.

He promises her a walk through the Elysian Fields when he’s free. While waiting she comes to the great hall, staying with him quietly as he sits in judgement, the three judges of the Underworld beside him to help do his bidding. As ruler of the underworld Jason had to judge the shades when the passed. They begin a final judgment . “My lord,” Rhadamanthus said. “We need your services to help decide a shade’s fate.”

“Send them in,” Jason spoke.“Your name, shade?” he said flickering his finger to the spirit who began to form the shell of the body it once had.

“ Arthur, my lord,” the shade answers, and then bowed to Persephone. “My lady, your beauty reminds me of a woman I once loved.”

Persephone face soften as she smiles. “What was her name?”

“Harlequin.” The Shade smiles in an almost predatory way.

“My lord, the cruelty I’ve committed can’t be measured , I admit , but you see I am not in my own control ,many voices are connected in my mind.” The shade began.

“ You speak of doing such acts but out of your control?” Persephone responds.

The shade snarls at the goddess and darts quickly up to her. “I wouldn’t say I didn’t enjoy the misery they brought me, It’s like one big joke and I’m the punchline.” He whispers. “Oh, my lady, I sometimes wondered if the gods were the ones who started it. My tragedy for their comedy. ” Persephone glances at Hades, petrified and unsettled from the shade. Hades rose and knocked the shade to his knees. “Persephone is my guest, you shall respect her.” He pushes the shade back to where it stood before. Arthur tumbles over and lands roughly, the sound of it echoes through the halls. His dark eyes twinkle with glee. “When alive i savored my victims, constantly playing and toying with them. Even in death their souls more mine than yours. Do what you must unseen one.” He says gesturing to hades. “I know it’s all apart of your godly plans.” Persephone turns back to Hades. “My lord?” She says softly. When he turns to her his face left no trace of mercy, nothing but the anger in his reddening eyes, that were rigid and cold. “Shade.” Hades said voice dropping dangerously. “Your evilness is your own bidding. The cruelty in you rots through your very soul. You may have escaped wrath on Gaea but you will not here.”The shade let out a howl of wicked laughter. Making Hades more tense.

“Lady, y/n, leave to the foyer.” Hades demand.

Without question y/n slips away as she hears the pained screams of Arthur.

——————————————-

Y/n pov

It was raining again. It had rained nearly all week since I’ve arrived.

The underworld didn’t feel dark and evil, just cold and gloomy.

Now we sit in the foyer watching the downpour, I dare not bring up the events from earlier. Hades smokes a cigar silently.

It’s late , so instead of his usual business attire he wears a dark red robe hanging loosely around his figure. If mother saw me like this with man, she’d be ashamed.

“Don’t you just hate the rain.” He says aloud, blowing a puff of smoke in the air.

“No.” I said quietly. He looks at me questioning. “Rain means rebirth to the shades, it signifies growth.” I respond.

Jason snorts, “Nothing grows in the underworld.” Even though he laughed he didn’t seem amused. His shoulders were slump and his eyes heavy.

“I think tonigh I’ll go to bed earlier.” He announces. I only nod in agreement when I see the red glare still in his eyes. As he walks away trails of burned ash leave marks in the ground where he once stood.

“Goodnight, my lord.” I say, staring at the darken marks.

—————————————-

As days passed I found it easier to breathe, and I began to lower my guard but only slightly. A god housing a nymph? It didn’t seem like a likely outcome in my favor, but I’ll admit my time was with him has been most pleasant, I try to ignore the last trial and stay away from anymore . Today I took up his offer and gathered bluets and lotus on the great hall walls. I caught Hades admiring them before he left to feed Cerberus. He seemed satisfied by their beauty.

“You admire my flowers .” I say when I find him in his library . The faint smile on his lips was almost a comforting sight. “I do.” He chuckles . “Althea told me your mother wanted you to harvest spring. I think after today you’ll do a great job”

———

Jason POV

She looks defeated when I bring up Demeter and I mentally kick myself. She takes in a few deep breaths. “Well, yes but I know what she thinks of my abilities.” She mumbles. “ I knows she feels indifferent to them. I always let her down.”

“Y/n?” Jason calls. She turns to look at me her eyes glassy with tears. “What I saw today in the great hall was the most spectacular sight of nature I’ve seen in years.” I tell her. Her eyes widen glowing pure gold. “Really?” She gasps. “Your mother has her usual ways of doing things, it’s always been straight to the point. But, there’s a change with you. Nature is what it’s supposed be. Savage and unpredictable. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve witnessed in years.” She smiles, cheeks flushed golden. “Thank you , Hades.” She says, walking away.

“No, thank you, y/n. Please call me , Jason.” She looks back at me puzzle. “Ja-jason.” She says aloud trying out the mortal name. Rolling the letters on her tongue. “It was the name I used on Gaea.”

She smiles again. “Of course,.... Jason.”

“Also,” I call to her again. “Are you still willing to accompany me to Elysian Fields this evening.” Her smile was like a burst of happiness, much ironically like flowers in the springtime.

“Yes, Jason. It’s a date.”

[baekuaena]

Shadows

Zoe and Baekhyun have known each other since they were childs. Brother and sister, best friends, lovers. Shadows

Destiny is not etched in stone. Fate doesn't exist.

And sometimes the shadow must be set free

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You are sitting on this comfortable chair, made of red velvet and wood. In any other occasion, you would take some time to appreciate the caress of velvet on your skin and how the cushion you are sitting on seems to conform to the shape of your body; But your muscles are tense and your mind is only concentrated on one idea.

You glance nervously to your left. He is standing by the window, his arms to the sides, staring at you as if he is waiting for you to say something, but it would be too risky to talk to him right now.

-        Do you know why you are here?

You turn your head toward the doctor. He is quite old, in his fifties as the wrinkles on the corner of his eyes can attest. His hair is white, and his eyes are light blue, like the color of a blue lagoon on which the sun is mirrored on a hot day of summer. His entire person seems to have been through some bleaching process that wiped every bright color out of him. He looks like a living ghost.

-        My mother asked me to come to this appointment, Doctor, you answer vaguely.

-        Do you know why? The doctor insists.

You look to your left again. He is smiling at you and, in his crescent eyes, you can read love and support. He mouths “I love you” slowly and distinctly and you feel your heart getting warmer in your chest.

You are not alone in this.

-        I do not know Doctor, you lie.  

----------------------------------------------------

Little Zoe is playing on the playground. There is this big sandpit, but it has been raining for a week and her mother forbid her to go in it. Instead of digging into the sand, she has set her eyes on the swings and is now moving her legs backward and forward in order to move a bit. Sadly, she is a little thing, and the wind is blowing. Despite all the efforts she puts in, she does not swing much.

-        Mom! Please push me!

Her mom is reading a book, sitting on a bench. As usual when she reads, Zoe’s voice doesn’t distract her from her reading and the little girl sighs. She hopes her mother will find her a dad someday and that the two of them will give her a little sister or a little brother so that she would have a playmate at last.  

-        Do you want me to push you?

Zoe jumps out of the swing with fright and turns over quickly, ready to defend herself like her mother has taught her.

It is with her two hands raised in front of her face in a defensive position and fright into her green eyes that she meets Baekhyun for the first time.

Zoe and Baekhyun are eight.

---------------------------------------------------

-        As you probably already know, I have been talking with your mother. You know she is genuinely concerned about you.

You roll your eyes. When will that old hag finally let you go and let you live your life on your own?

-        To be honest Doctor, I’m only here to please my mother. I don’t really know what she has told you but I’m a hundred percent sure that everything is fine with me. I should apologize for wasting your time.

You smile and behind the frowning doctor, he raises his thumb into the air in sign of encouragement.

The doctor writes something down on his papers and you sigh. Outside, the sun is shining. You and Baekhyun should be having a picnic by now and not being trapped in this rathole.

-        She told me you have a friend, the doctor says. I think she mentioned his name. Does the name Baekhyun ring any bell?

----------------------------------------------------

Zoe is in mathematics class. She hates maths. Everybody hate maths, why do they need to know about stupid Pythagoras and Thales; the men have been dead for centuries.

The teacher is rambling on and Zoe is not paying any attention. Three tables away from her, Baekhyun is half asleep, his hand supporting his head, but he is placed in such a way that the teacher can’t tell if he is asleep or studying ardently.

You little sh-, she thinks

She grabs the handmade peashooter she has made from a ballpoint pen and hasten to insert a tiny ball of paper in it. From the way Baekhyun’s head is turned, she is sure she can hit him in the eye and wake him up. She approaches the peashooter to her lips, takes a deep breath and blows.

The insult that comes out of Baekhyun’s mouth when the paper ball hits him is covered by the school bell ringing and Zoe laughs out loud.

-        The fuck you’re doing Zoe, grouches Baekhyun as they both meet outside of the class. You know that the peashooter wasn’t supposed to be used on you or me!

He rubs his right eye and moan in pain.

-        Did I really hurt you?

Zoe is not laughing anymore. She just wanted to wake her best friend up because she was bored, not make him a one-eyed man.

Baekhyun is still rubbing his eye and Zoe can’t tell yet but he’s smiling.

-        No you didn’t, you idiot, Baekhyun exclaims suddenly as he opens his arms and imprisons his friend with them.

He passes one arm around her neck and rubs the top her head with his fist. She screams, outraged by the little game of her friend and yells at him to let her go. He laughs.

Zoe and Baekhyun are thirteen.

----------------------------------------------------

-        Zoe, do you know who I am? Do you recognize me?

You frown. The doctor is looking at you as if you were some kind of freak.

-        I’ve never seen you before, how the hell am I supposed to recognize you?

The doctor writes something down on his papers again. The friction of the fountain pen on the paper is the only sound in this cold wooden room. Why do doctors always have wooden rooms to receive patients? It doesn’t feel warm or comfortable, it just feels intimidating.

By the window, Baekhyun finally moves and places himself just behind the doctor to read over his shoulder. From the look on his face, you are guessing that what the doctor is writing is not a delightful novel and your heart is tightening into your chest.

-        Zoe, if you don’t remember me, do you remember Baekhyun?

-        What an odd question, of course I do.

The doctor writes something again and you stretch your neck to read some of it, in vain.

-        Who is Baekhyun then?

Behind the doctor, Baekhyun looks up and stares at you. You blush slightly. You have confessed to Baekhyun years ago but having to do it again all of a sudden because of the doctor pressuring you is not that easy.  Nevertheless, the words come out of your mouth without you really thinking about them beforehand.

-        He is the love of my life and my soulmate.

----------------------------------------------------

It is a Saturday afternoon and Zoe and Baekhyun are walking on the coastal path. The sea is calm, the wind is playing gently with their hair and some seagulls are flying in the sky.

-        There, says Baekhyun while pointing to a dirt road. Follow me.

Zoe is a little nervous but the excitation she feels surpasses her apprehensions.

-        You’re sure we’re not gonna get caught? She asked while going deeper into the dirt path.

The tall grasses are whipping her cheeks and one tickles her nose. She sneezes and Baekhyun turns around.

-        You’re not a baby anymore Zoe, he says while imprisoning her head between his hands. We are sixteen now, you need to act like an adult!

Usually she would have made a face or spit on his face as a joke, but his eyes buried into hers are making her fuzzy, her legs are weak, and her heart skipped a beat.

Baekhyun and Zoe have been best friends for years now. They don’t have any squad like the other kids, they’re not invited to birthday parties or class gatherings. They only have each other and they have never needed a third person.

Zoe and Baekhyun. Baekhyun and Zoe. Each other's shadows.

But lately, Baekhyun is different. He is taller, his jawline is showing, his shoulders are broader and his arms stronger. The other day when they went to the beach, Zoe noticed Baekhyun’s body for the very first time while he was running to the sea. His back is muscular now and so are his abbs.

-        Let me go, grunts Zoe.

The two of them continue their way into the tall grass and finally reach an area clear of any plants.

-        We can sit there!

Baekhyun sits cross-legged and looks up at Zoe, still standing up.

-        What are you doing, wuss, sit down! Do you have the lighter?

Zoe sits next to her friend and hands over the lighter to him . Baekhyun seizes it, smiling, before taking the cigarette they stole from Baekhyun’s father out of his pocket. He puts the cigarette in his mouth and Zoe’s gaze lingers over his pink wave-shaped lips.

She thinks it would be nice to kiss them.

---------------------------------------------------

Baekhyun is smiling at you now.

-        I love you too, he says.

You know the doctor can’t hear the voice of your beloved, so you just remain quiet. You will talk to Baekhyun once you are out of this consulting room. You can’t wait to kiss him, to feel his breath on your skin and his warmth surrounding you. This room is cold and unwelcoming.

-        Your mother says she often hears you talking to Baekhyun? Continues the doctor. Is it true?

You deny it. No good would come from saying the truth, the doctor would just think you are crazy and send you to the mental hospital.

-        So you know that Baekhyun is no longer with us?

You chuckle. Nothing they can say could change the only fact that will always remain true as long as you will be alive. Baekhyun is your shadow. You are his shadow.

They will never be able to understand. 

---------------------------------------------------

It’s prom night. Zoe is eighteen.

She is wearing a long red dress and high heels that hurt her feet. She tied her hair into a complicated bun and some strands of hair are stuck into her earrings.

She is not used to be dressed like this. She never wears heels, she prefers sneakers, and she thinks dresses are not as comfortable as the old pair of jeans she always wears.

But tonight is prom night. Tonight, Baekhyun is taking her to prom and she can’t wait to see him all dressed up in his suit.

It is 7pm. The doorbell rings.

Zoe is sitting on a chair in the kitchen and she doesn’t stand up right away. She is nervous and her head aches a little. Tonight, is the big night. Tonight, she is going to confess to Baekhyun. Tonight, she is going to tell him that she is in love with him.

Tonight, she wants to finally taste these lips she has been dreaming about for two years.

The doorbell rings again and she finally opens the door.

-        Hello Darling, says Baekhyun in a weird British accent.

Perched on her high heels, Zoe loses her balance for half a second. He has never looked more handsome. His dark hair, usually done coconut style, are styled and revealing his forehead. His white shirt fits closely to his chest and Zoe can easily guess the pectorals underneath.

When Baekhyun’s eye fall on Zoe, they open wide and his jaw drops.

They face themselves for a couple of seconds without exchanging any words. Outside, the night has fallen, and they can hear the kids playing from the playground. The same playground where they met each other for the first time ten years ago.

-        You are breathtaking, Baekhyun whispers .

His voice is so low Zoe is not sure if he is speaking to her or to himself., but the compliment warms her heart and she feels like she could take wings.

-        Do you want to drink something? She asked shyly.

Her hands are moisty, and her heart is racing into her chest, echoing into her ears. She would not be surprised if Baekhyun could hear it as well.

-        No it’s ok.

Baekhyun clears his throat, finally taking his eyes off Zoe. He seems agitated.

“No it’s ok”. 

Those are the last words Zoe will ever hear from Baekhyun’s living mouth. 

They go into the car together, both of them awkward for the other look astonishing and they both can’t think straight anymore.

---------------------------------------------------

Zoe was in love with Baekhyun since she was sixteen. Baekhyun realized he was in love with her best friend when she opened that door and appeared looking like a princess in that long red dress.

Prom night was written in their history. This night was supposed to be their first dance, their first awkward smiles, their first kiss.

Zoe knew she has met the one she would share her life with. She knew Baekhyun was her soulmate.

Somehow, they both knew it from the moment they met in the playground.

They would have shared a beautiful life together. Baekhyun wanted two kids, she would have given them to him. She wanted to be a writer; she would have written novels for kids. He wanted to be a lawyer; he would have been the best lawyer of the State.

Even destiny can be changed. Even what seems to be etched in stone can be erased. Fate doesn’t exist.

Unless fate is that green car and this old drunk man that collided with Baekhyun’s car.

Unless fate is that green car and this old drunk man that broke eleven bones in Zoe’s body.

Unless fate is that green car and this old drunk man that took Baekhyun’s life.

---------------------------------------------------

There is a tear on Baekhyun’s cheek, and you can’t understand why. He smiles, but you can tell from the look in his eyes that his heart is aching.

-        Zoe, the doctor sighs… I need you to come back to reality now….

You frown. Baekhyun wipes the tear out of his face.

The doctor opens a drawer of his desk and gets a piece of paper out of it. He puts it in front of you.

The page is damaged and crinkles as if someone’s tears fell on it. You come closer to it, intrigued as you recognize your own handwriting.

-        What is this? you ask.

The doctor stands up. He seems sad somehow.

-        You should read this… This is a letter you wrote in this office a week ago, in front of me. You made me promise to show it to you if your delirium comes back…. I don’t have any other choice.

Without any further explanation, he leaves the room.

-        What the fuck is going on?

You look at Baekhyun, searching for any kind of explanation. He is silently crying, and you feel like your heart is falling into an abyss.

-        Baekhyun, what’s going on?

He avoids the desk and gets closer to you. You don’t really know why but your throat is choked up and some tears are already spilling down your cheeks.

He kneels down next to you and take your hand in his. The warmth of his skin reassures you for a moment, but the expression of sadness on his face just makes you want to run away forever.

-        It’s going to be ok my love, he murmurs.

He kisses you slowly on the lips. Your kiss is wet and salty from all the tears and the taste of iodine reminds you of the beach Baekhyun and you used to go to as teenagers.

-        Read the letter baby, he says while caressing your cheeks.

You are afraid. You don’t know what is on that paper, but you are aware that it contains a horrible truth you don’t want to know.

Or maybe deep inside you, you already know.

Your hands are shaking when you take the paper. This is your handwriting indeed.

And as the reading goes, you realize the paper crinkles from the tears you shed on it a week ago.

---------------------------------------------------

Hello Zoe

This is Zoe. Your lucid self.

If you read this, it is because doctor Zelner’s treatment didn’t work, and your delirium has come back. I am so sorry for you. I am so sorry for myself for failing on doing better.

I am sure you remember the car accident. The one when you were eighteen and heading to the prom with Baekhyun. Your knee still hurts when it’s raining outside.

On that day, Baekhyun died.

I don’t know how deep in your delirium you are. Sometimes, you know that Baekhyun is just a ghost and you are just convinced he came back to live by your side forever as a spirit. Sometimes, you don’t remember his death and think you two are married and have kids. One day, you tried to drive them to school and scared a poor teacher.

You tried to cope in your own way. You are still trying.

I know how painful it is. I know you love him. I know you miss him. I know it because I love and miss him too.

Please Zoe, you have to let him go. It’s been twenty years. He has been gone for twenty years…

I think he loved us. He never had the chance to told us but I’m certain he did. He has been a brother and a best friend to us. He would have been a boyfriend, a husband and a father if life wasn’t that cruel.

You will always love him, but you have to let him go.

You are not his shadow anymore. Don’t let him be yours.

I love you Zoe. Take care of us.

And be brave.

[swearronchanel]

9.05

 🎶Do re mi fa so time for me to talk my nonsense..🎶

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE TONIGHT AND SO AM I I!! even tho it’s actually 3pm here LMAO *SINGS* LETSSS START FROM THE VERY BEGININNGGGGG

I’m so ready for the sound of music content LESS GOO

wow just kidding it’s starting off so sad😭

“there are moments when life seems to pause” felt that

I’m glad to see Sister MJ is there with Sister J tho 😭

“They gave all they had, all that they were.”

Tim!! He’s so grown omg

really Patrick? eat a damn pancake

“I love Julie Andrews” WHO DOESNT?? QUEEN!

LMAO Phyllis 😂 but even Phyllis stans!

OMG Sister Mj skipping, so pure I love her 😂

Violet should just rig the raffle we know Sister Mj deserves to go ! She wants it so badly

LMAOO “I’ll pin an I.O.U”

SISTER MONICA JOAN ILL TAKE YOU TO THE MOVIES DAMN IT!

We better hear what Sister Frances has to say about the movie

“I demand that you acknowledge it” me to the ctm writers about the sound of music for the last 4 years 😂😂 tbh me to the writers about EVERYTHING

“Frivolous and inappropriate” ugh Sister J pull the stick out your ass you know God purposely blessed the world with Dame Julie Andrews, also how can you hurt Sister MJ like that?

Aww no words from Cyril

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” STOP I WILL CRY

Judy Parfait is literally a gem, I want to hug her

Oof Cheryl that hurt

“You’re taking them to see an escalator?” LMFAO MS HIGGINS IS A SUBTLE SAVAGE

oh no what’s wrong with mrs calthorpe

Sister Hilda giving a class to fathers? Love to see it😂 give her more screen time though

LOOK AT YOUNG JULIE ON THE COVER😭😍 bow down to the TRUE queen of england

A DR SPOCK BOOK! WHERE’S SHELAGH ? 😂 also remember the Rugrats version? Dr Lipshitz LMAO

“The jungle drum’s been banging” 😂😂 word travels fast on the mean streets of poplar

Why is she bleeding??

This guy is so nervous 😂 it’s cute though

Sister Hilda can’t stand crying in public? She obviously didn’t go to university bc my bitch ass can cry ANYWHERE now LMAO 😅🔫

Val’s dress? Cute

A NONNATUS HOUSE TRIP PLS

Trixie looks great as always! Also can’t believe they mentioned her God mother in Portofino! You know how people disappear from their lives *cough cough Trixie’s brother for example*

Aye the Den is my favorite bar too 😂😂

Phyllis is annoyed but still giving him a chance, what a brick

Sister Frances is such a recycled Sister Winnifred and it’s a shame, make her more unique

Val knows how tough ladies had to be/still are

Aww the dad is crying, how sweet🥺

Tickety boo and marvelous! WHERE in the world is MRS CHUMMY NOAKES?! I Miss her rip, Miranda Hart is funny af

ugh this so so heartbreaking😭

“Nurse Turner” 🥺 that was cute

SISTER MJ WANTS THIS SO BAD LMAO GIVE IT TO HER VIOLET!!

Now Sister Frances will take over and they’ll warm up to her, like one of the earlier Jenny storylines I remember from season 1 right?

Is it the strawberry or angel mark? whatever people call it

omg grace’s mom, I’m legit gonna cry this one hurts

poor grace is going to wear herself thin, sister Frances help out

get out omg she better not stick her head in the oven

“How you’re invisible...” 😭 damn that hurt

backstory unlocked for sister Hilda ✅  give us more now

“Doris day as another, que sera, sera” LOVE TO HEAR THAT FROM PHYLLIS UGH give me lessons only through pop culture lol

SISTER J and SISTER B PARALLELS

HOLY SHIT SHE TOOK OFF THE HABIT AND WHIMPLE I DIDNT EXPECT THIS?!

SISTER MJ NOTICED HER

SISTER JULIENNE WENT TO SEE THE MOVIE I CAN NOT RIGHT NOW THIS IS AMAZING

“Have you lost May and Angela?” I LOVE MS HIGGINS LMAO

Tim is only back just to play babysitter again LMAO

But Shelagh and Patrick are going to see their counter parts soon MARIA AND GEORG WE LOVE

SHelagh just tell him COME HOME!

Oh no Grace!! 😭

The Turners having a TV dinner who would’ve thought LMAO lean cuisine baby

Angela speaks AGAIN wheww that’s still shocking. The girls are so adorable though

Trixie’s right don’t dismiss some vanity! But shes so much more that though UGH

Sister MJ found a new owl😭

Sister Hilda is for sure underrated

Even though Trixie is my fav and was hardly in this episode: dare I say this has been the best ep this season??  

“What makes night within us may leave stars” wow

OF COURSE THE FILM RESONATED WITH YOU GUYS !!! DUHHH

“Your voice touched my soul” GET TF OUT THE TURNERS ARE NEVER ROMANTIC THIS IS SWEET AS FUCK

NO BUT SERIOUSLY THEY ARE SEXLESS?!

“We’ll always have Columbia road” STOP OMG

that literally made me love the Turners again, TBH I was over them for the last few seasons but as of right now I’m back on the damn bandwagon beep beep bitches

SISTER J IS GONNA USE THAT MONEY AND TAKE THE WHOLE HOUSE TO SEE THE SOUND OF MUSIC

“Closest thing to edelweiss” Patrick should’ve broke out into song but no offense he was right he isn’t Christopher Plummer 😂😛

THIS IS THE PUREST THING

ALSO THE GIRLS LOOK GREAT

“The world shifts around us and we shape ourselves to fit. Imperfect and beautiful...” 💖

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Constangreen (+ Cassie) - sugar rush.

(I have bad writer’s block today so I’m gonna try my best with this and then go bake cookies with a new recipe. So this is a fitting prompt for my current situation)

When John and Gary stumbled across the cult trying to summon a demon, both had hoped to get through it with as little bloodshed as possible. Unfortunately, by the time they had sent the demon back to hell, the only survivor was the eight year old girl who had been intended as the host. They could have called the police, but John wanted to make sure this girl, Cassie, got to her next living relatives safely. Now, Gary and him were just trying to get her to a grandmother that they didn’t even was alive or not.

Traveling together had been easy for them, but having a young girl with them changing things. They had to make sure Cassie was getting enough to eat after being starved in the cult and could sleep and that she didn’t get too bored. A sketchbook and pencils Gary had picked up from a small hobby shop solved the last one easy. But they didn’t think about normal childhood experiences until they pulled into a new city and saw people walking around in Halloween costumes.

“It’s Halloween already?” Gary exclaimed as they drove past an entourage of Disney villains. “Should have brought my costume with me.”

Cassie’s hands were pressed against the window of car, eyes agape. “How come they’re dressed up?”

John frowned. “It’s Halloween.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t know what-” Gary began before stopping. “Your parents never took you to other houses trick-or-treating for candy?”

Cassie shook her head. “We weren’t allowed to have candy. “

“Even before your parents took you to the cult?”

She nodded. “People came to the house in costumes sometimes. Mama shouted at them and tried to curse them.”

Gary exchanged a look with John, and he nodded back. Something had to be done about it.

“Halloween’s a holiday here,” Gary explained. “It’s really interesting how it started. You see, there was this old legend that-“

“Maybe give her the basics, love,” John suggested, making Gary redden and Cassie smile a little.

“Right, so Halloween is now a day where kids dress up in costumes and go from house to house in their neighborhood. They ring the doorbell, say “Trick or Treat!”, and then get some candy. By the end of the night, they have a ton of candy and usually eat a lot of it and have a sugar rush.”

“Sugar rush?”

“When you have too much sugar and run all over the place,” supplied John. “What a crap cult, they wouldn’t let you have Halloween.”

That made Cassie smile a little again. “It sounds like fun. Can we do it?”

The fact that she had grown to trust them this much since they’d rescued him still took John’s breath away. She had been angry and silent when they first recsued her but clingy. Now, in the span of a few days, she was smiling more with them and actually talking. John had tried not to get attached and warned Gary the same since they were trying to get her back to her grandmother (who may or may not still be alive), but times like this made it hard. He was not a kid person, but Cassie wasn’t an ordinary kid anymore.

“John’s the one in charge of distance,” Gary answered Cassie’s question. “You’d have to ask him if we have time.”

“And I think we can stop here for the day,” John told them. “We’ve been traveling for days. A break won’t be so bad, and I’m sure your grandmother will still be there if we’re a day late.”

The reminder that Cassie wasn’t going to be with them forever potentially hung over Gary and Cassie’s heads as their smiles dropped a little, but then Gary asked Cassie what she wanted to dress up as. He started rambling off dozens of suggestions that he had somehow already thought of. Cassie seemed to already have her idea in mind.

“I want to be John,” she decided, pointing at him. “He’s cool.”

“Yeah, he is,” Gary grinned. “You know, I think we can make you a mini John Constantine in time for tonigh when we go trick or treating.”

“Can I get a sugar rush?”

“I think you’ll be okay without one,” Gary told her. “Don’t want ruin your first candy experience with too much. Plus, sometimes you throw up after a sugar rush.”

“Ew.”

John snickered. There had to be a Green family story behind that tidbit Gary had just dropped on her.

A few hours later, they had managed to get Cassie dressed as John to the best of their ability and a short visit to a superstore. They’d gotten her a long sleeved white shirt and put John’s necktie around her. John had also given her his coat that Gary had found a way to pin up so it didn’t drag. Cassie had also gotten a plastic pumpkin for her candy and was holding a Ken doll in a suit that they’d bought after Cassie had insisted “If I’m John, I need a Gary!”.

“Ready to trick or treat?” Gary asked as they headed to the first house.

Cassie nodded. She watched a group of kids go up to the house, get their candy, and then leave. Once they were gone, she broke away from John and Gary in a run towards the house.

“They grow up so fast,” Gary tried to joke, but somehow it fell flat. They’d really gotten too attached to Cassie.

Halfway up the path, Cassie turned around. “Can you guys come with me?”

John nodded and headed up to her with Gary in tow.

If her grandmother was still alive, then she better give Cassie the life she deserved after all the shit she’d gone through.

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Hii love!! How are you?? Hope you had a great time at yesterday's dinner. Yes, i still have a month of exams. And a lot of essays and assigments that i dont want to do. But hopefully i'll be free soon. Nop. I didnt see that. Which one was it? Crying in the club? I remember seeing that song in the track list at the beginning of the tour. But i havent seen anything else. (1)

Hi, love!! Finally I get to answer you. I’ll try to make it “short”, jajja, but I talk too much, so, no promises here, jajjaja.Yeah, we had a good time. We bought some pizzas 🍕 (lol, Honey 🍯 senses when I’m writing you, and he comes to lay on my 😌). I told them if they wanted to watch Dunkirk, they told me they rather no, jajajaj. But, well 🤷🏻‍♀️, their lost. A day more, is a day less. Soon you’ll be free, and will forget about the stress.Oh, I think it’s that song, yes. I didn’t knew he was covering it on his tour. He also sang a Sting one, too. 😩😩 I didn’t know it, what a fake fan 😅.

Yes. I think i started wearing them when i was 7. I’ve been wearing glasses for more than half of my life now. They are part of me and people dont recognise me without them. Kind of sad if you ask me. But it is what it is. Is the surgery that expensive? I havent even looked that up bcs getting surgery it’s just a dream at this moment, i dont need reality to discourage me (2)

Well, if it’s of some relief, I’ve wearing them for almost three years, only, and even my family see something weird in my face when I don’t have them on, so 🤷🏻‍♀️. Well, when my mom look it up, it was around 3000€. But I think my friend told me last year that it was around 1800€, I think. So, yes, it’s very expensive, but all the people I know who have had it are very happy with it.

Yes. I know. I get that it’s easier to give them the ipad and all of that, but i dont think that’s really good for them mainly bcs they dont get the attention they need. But well, parenting is something very personal, and technology also has its perks. Maybe nowadays kids learn in a different way, but it’s still learning. I guess it’s the same as when Game Boy and so came out. That was supposed to “pervert” us all, but i think we ended up being just fine. Mostly. (3)

Oh, yeah, well used, technology is the best. But sometimes parents just give their children their phones so they don’t bother them, and that’s not good for kids. Like when they’re waiting at the doctor. I actually hear a psychologist saying that that teaches kids that to be relaxed they need a phone. And it’s a way to conditioning them. Like when a dog does something well and you give it a treat. And then the dog does that thing, so you have to give it another treat. But, yes, like you said, parenting is something very personal, and I think it parents reflects what they had/hadn’t from their parents on their kids.

Ohh! I havent thought about that. Yes yes. I hope they are not recognisable then. Do you know if there'a any project for Nialls show? Like the rainbow flag they did for Fire Away in Amsterdam (was it Amsterdam?). I havent heard about one. JAJAJAJAJA. Of course buying a bigger house is the easy option. Of course😂. I’d take a pic of the door, but then i dont know how i would send it?? An anti or a het? Please no. Never. I have eyes and i know how to use them. And so does she (4)

Oh, I haven’t looked for projects yet. I always remember to look it up when I’m driving, bc is when I’m hearing Niall’s album, lol, but then I get home or work and I forget 🙄. I’ll look it up, and let you know. I’ve thought on bringing those big balloons that have a cord at one end? (I’ll try to find a pic, so you see them) and throw them to the crowd at some point and people can play hitting them, you know (we did that at my sister wedding and we had a lot of fun, I think here it would be funnier). But I’ll see. I’m very shy, so, even if I bring them, I’ll probably keep them in my bag, lmao.I think you can submit pics on anon. Just log off, search my blog, and submit it. You have to put an email, that can be anónimo@anonimo.com, jajja.

Your dad also knows their names? My parents barely know that One Direction exist. They only remember it as the opposite to good music. “This is music, not like that direction you like"😤😒 Jajajajajaja. Dont be so hard on you all. I’m sure there will be a lot of people of your age. You are not old!! (Yes, they are young babies. But mostly, they are lucky babies. Only 16 and already living their best life). (5)

Well, it would be too hard for my family to not know them, lol. All the people that has any contact with me, knows that I like them, lmao. My dad doesn’t like English music in general, so he isn’t a big fan (of me, listening their music 24/7, oops). Well, I’ll let you know after the concert, jajajajaj, of how much old people I see. The good thing is that it’s a small crowd, so less people judging 😅. And yes, they’re very lucky!! but if they can, good for them. I got to see Andy&Lucas when I was 16, 🤣🤣🤣🤣, almost the same, jajaja.

Only two weeks!! It’s around the corner!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 Yes. I should have bought a ticket for myself. But i’m not that sad. I’ll go another time. And also, the timing of the concert id disastrous because i start exams that week and going there + the show would mean 2 days less to study. And less time to study = more stress and crying. I’ve resigned myself to the idea. Next time. (6)

Yeah, I always look for the good point on everything too,jajaja. Also, that you have to see them next time they come, is the perfect excuse for them to come back again,jajajajaj. But you’re right. And it’s not just those two days you wouldn’t study. It’s the week before and after, thinking about the concert and getting distracted. Thinks come the way they do for a reason. So just think that studios are first. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

He tried to catch a duck? 😂😂😂 Nooo. Videos for cats? What are those? I know about cats’ videos (i love them. They are so cute), but not about videos for cats. What do they show? Oh, dont worry!! Notifications dont bother me. They dont make any sound. They are just there. And i only get one, no matter how many posts you reblog. (7)

Yes!! Cats are so funny. I laugh so much with them. If you search on YouTube “videos para Gatos” you’ll a lot, jajajaja. They’re just a cartoon mouse running and hiding, and cats try to catch it. Boring for humans, funny for cats.Ah, that’s good then,jajaja, because I was afraid you’d get 1837453 notfs, jajajaja.

Aaaargh. I’m trying to think something because I dont want to give you my name. It’s nothing personal. I swear. I’m just a very private person. That’s why i dont have SM and that stuff. But also, i cant think of a nickname bcs i dont have many, and i think my sister follows your blog and if she sees it there, that would be strange😂🤷. I dont knooow. I know names are not a big deal, but. I’m just shy. I’ll think about something and then i’ll tell, if you dont mind. (8)

WHAT??? Your sister follows me?? Oh my god!! This is so weird!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣I hope she isn’t reading this then, so you don’t get discovered. Now more than ever I have to try to put everything under the cut,jajajajja. Don’t worry about the name, that’s why I didn’t want to ask you. I was thinking something like flower anon (I don’t know why I call you flower i my head,jajja), or something like that. Or just smiley anon. I didn’t mean your actual name, of course. I’m very shy like that too (I know, hard to believe), and  I always talk on anon to people. Don’t worry. Ah!! And don’t worry about thinking a name at all. If you’re comfortable with the notifications, keep with it. I just thought that if you were searching in my blog that tag anon, it would be easier for you to have your own tag, with your own things,jejejeje. But whatever you think is better, seriously.

8 months? So young!! She just discovered her hands?😂 Glasses are the first target, but i bet she’s going to go after your hair next. All did was laugh? I would have cried for sure. Omg you are brave! I love kids, but i wouldnt have known what to do. “Well, if you could tell me what is a girl/boy toy” 📢 📢📢📢 Say it louder Soraya!! I love saying remarks like that. Some people get so angry and i’m like ???? Chill and think about what i just said pls, it’s all true.(9)

Aaaawwwww, I was with her today too, she’s so cuteeeee. And yes, she goes for my hair too, but that’s my fault, really, because I tickle her with it, so she just plays with it. And I was with my cousin yesterday too!!! You’d have to see him. He has a “problem” in his brain, so he doesn’t develop normally. Doctors even thought he had autism (I don’t know the correct way to say it in English, bc I think they use a different verb, but you get it) for some time, because he behaved like that. Anyway, he has photographic memory, and also when he learns something, he doesn’t forget (he’s just 4). Well, yesterday, he just taught me in English the weeks days, months of the year, numbers till 20 and the weather. All of that singing it and pointing to his black board (the tv) like he was a teacher. He’s just amazing. He has learn how to read some words all on his own… and he can recognize written words since he was 2. He learn my car plaque before than me… I love him so much. ☺️. (Did I have a point with this story???? I just love to talk about him, sorry, jajaja)Hey, look, I do t usually say good things about me, but I’ll say one. I think I’m good on how I treat people at work. Like I know how to read them, and if I can joke with them or not. And I talk a lot with people, even if I don’t know them,jajaja. Well, when someone says something like that (a toy for a girl; can you make a candy cake, but it’s for a boy so nothing pink, please…) soy la persona más seca que te puedas imaginar 😒 (I don’t know how to say that in English). Like, no, lol, what will it do to him to it something pink? It’s just mean it taste like strawberry 🙄🙄🙄. I can’t I can’t.

Today i did a survey for a friend who is studying to be a teacher, and it was… wrong The aim of the survey was good, but the ways… the first question was “¿Q opinas al respecto de que existan orientaciones sexuales distintas a la heterosexual?” & also “¿como d normal t resulta q un niño juegue con muñecas?”. That’s wrongly put. Like, u are not asking what people thinks about sexuality. U are assuming that hetero is cool, and then u are asking about the nonhetero ones. And that annoyed me. 10

Yeah, that way of asking is wrong. Even more because is a written question, so you can’t catalogue the way the person asked is answering. But I sometimes ask question the wrong way so people shows they true colors, y'know? Like I ask in a way that it looks like I’m thinking the wrong way (gay things are wrong) and when they answer as if I were right… bye. But, again, that can be done in s face to face conversations. That survey was wrong yes, because they didn’t ask how you see that a boy play with a gun (which is worst that playing with a doll or a kitchenette…). But also, who wrote that survey? Your friend? Did you tell them what you thought about the way it was written? Did they listen to you??

Well, I reached the end!! Jajajja, I had to put my iPad to charge. Why do I talk so much??? We have this joke at the shop, with a woman (she’s also my sister neighbor), and she talks a lot A LOT!! So much, that my sister sometimes has to close the shop and walk with her to their flats… jajajaa. Well, I always say: ja! yo la doy conversación. Cuando se cansa de hablar, la saco otro tema!! That’s how much I talk,🤣🤣🤣🤣. I think is because I spend so much time alone at home, without opening my mouth (only to talk to my cats), that when I start talking with someone, I don’t know how to stop,jajajja. But I’ll stop… NOW! Bye!! 😚😚

[dax-micro]

A series of 9 screenshots from Reddit.

Image 1 ambidextrose5: They're dropping like flies in our ICU. 20- and 30- years-olds on vent ant 99% of them unvaccinated. Even had a patient's family member bring in a letter from a "lawyer" demanding that the doc give the patient ivermectin. Reply from QuittingSideways: I would make a complaint to your state bar association—they regulate the behavior of lawyers like out state boards of nursing do. COVID-19 is not going to be cured by our knowledgeable friends in the malpractice and general complaint making business which is the law. If they want to weigh in on what nurses and doctors do they should go to school and get the license required. They should also have to have extensive inpatient training. That would shut them up.

Image 2 Alwayssunnyinarizona: The anti-masker in Texas who's about to come off vent had been using ivermectin. And by "about to come off," I don't mean "on hisway home."

Image 3 DaiLo4Lyfe: I had a covid patient on Friday, I gowned up to go into his room to give his meds. He was laying there purposely trying to make my job harder. He was coughing in my face (I have N95, regular mask, and face shield) and I asked him to wear his mask and he asked me "why?". I said it is to protect you and myself, he said "no I don't want to, you are probably vaccinated so you will be fine". I tried to stay professional and not let my emotions show. Right when I was about to leave he asked to be unhooked from the IVs to use the bathroom, I had to stay in that room to wait for him to finish so I don't have to gown up again to go in. Not only that, I caught a family member try to sneak into his room without proper PPE to give him food. I had to stop her immediately to give her proper PPE, she got angry with me saying we are blowing this out of proportion. I sometimes question myself if I really need this job, cause it makes me hate people LOL

Image 4 jroocifer: I am in med surf we just had one who was intubated in January. He was tube feed and A+Ox0-1, bedrest, and dies in misery a week ago. But at least the family was able to was $1 million tax payer dollars on the process and never visit him. So yeah, that's the best case scenario.

Image 5 "I might just quit" [Rant] (no screenname): I get to my shift this morning for my Neuro step down. I have 7 patients, 2 restraints, a screamer and hardcore withdrawal and a Covie patient. I just can't with this shit anymore. If I survive today that will be a miracle. Wish me luck. It's just unsafe. And here's the kicker, the joint commission was here yesterday so they staffed us well but as soon as they are gone, they fuck us over. This is unsafe madness.

Image 6 "Covid from a NICU perspective" [Discussion] (no screenname): Tonight at 2000, we will admit our 6th baby born to an unvaccinated, Covid mom on ECMO. I'm currently caring for a 26wk premie who's mom passed away last night after the family removed life support. He never met his mom- she survived on ECMO for 23 days before suffering arrest and brain damage. They have 2 other kids at home. Tonigh's delivery will be a 28 weeker. Mom as heen on ECMO for 2 weeks and they haven't been able to get her stats above 70% for 2 days so it's time to take baby before we lose them both. They told Dad to expect Mom to survive for a day or so after delivery. This will be our 6th baby that will never meet their mom since Covid started. We always hear moms say they worry about what the shot will to do baby, but they never consider not getting the shot will to do baby. I'm not sure how much more I can handle.

Image 7 Relevant_Solution297: I'm an ICU doctor. If you're unvaccinated and end up on a VENT- I don't care if your 20 or 60, obese or not - you"re not leaving the ICU alive. Let that sink in. And then go get vaccinated.

jgalol: The only one I had who made it was actually vaccinated. They were intubated for only 3 days—unheard of for Covid—and was outta the hospital a few days after that. I didn't tell them how "lucky" they were to be vaccinated because I'd never seen a Covid come to pulm stepdown without a fresh as trach... no vaccine and they woulda died a bad bad death. I didn't think a freshly extubated person needed to hear that, lol.

Image 8 mellowella I'll let you know soon. I have two unvaxed, intubated patients for the last week. One is 82 and was a DNR until family convinced him otherwise. Tubed him last night. The other is 64, his whole family has covid, including his pregnant dauther. All unvaxed. [That next pair or sentences is highlighted] I'm tired of answering these phone calls from family looking for a glimmer of hope or a sign that they are getting better. They aren't.

Image 9 RankledCat: A year ago I truly believed that people would take the pandemic seriously when they saw their friends and family members personally suffering from it. I was naively optimistic and so very wrong.

Reddit’s nursing forum makes for some pretty grim reading.

[everwunder]

i want to-no, i HAVE TO depict this scene.

A villain and a hero, the opposing sides decided since the beginning of their time. It was one big ball, with glitters and shines all over the room, chandelier hung so brightly, and people were noisy with empty gossips. Of course, it was an empty, long hall that stretch as far as you can see. BUt alas, they could only see each other with a not-so-coincidence meeting there. Neither of them were surprised nor caught of guard. They were as calm as they be, even tho they were infront of what world told them as someone who they absolutely have to get rid of.

“You still love to stare as long as you were allowed”

“Why do i need a permission to stare? Moreover, at a life’s own enigma, at that?”

“And a confusing word, or label, as always.”

“Why? Do you prefer our clashing guts where others are just dumbly watching us like a fun spectacle?”

“Maybe i do have one, one single common thing with you which is also what should be the common knowledge, but yeah people are dumb”

“If people are dumb, why would you bother yourself to preserve those damned dumbness?”

“Unfortunately i have a strong sense of keeping people alive, my dearest. Valuing life above external dumb shits. Of course except the elites of capitalism, i hate them too.”

“Well do you hate me then? I happened to be /your/ villain and an elite of that capitalism, i suppose.”

“I thought we’ve talked about this. Hate is a strong word that i directed toward ego-blinded, dumb, greedy people. You are /my/ villain, but i never consider this a hatred.”

“What is it then?”

“...”

“What are you trying to say, my dear hero?”

“W both know feeling is irrational and complicated and hard to convey in word. But my obligation and morality are separate things from those. No matter how my feeling is, even when i don’t actually hate you, i’m a loyal human being, my dear villain.”

“I know, Thats sense of responsibility which i understand and not understand at the same time. A confusing and paradoxical matter, but still part of you which equally paradoxical, i suppose.”

“But well then, should we play something, just tonigh, my dear villain”

The villain is intrigued.

“Oh, what kind is it, hero?”

“Lets play pretend, like those of children. I will pretend i don’t have any of those obligations, i will create a bubble where my interaction with will solely based on my personal intuition, ego, feeling, irrationality, and all. And you, just pretend to whatever you want to be.”

“ Interesting, hero. Well then, may I pretend to be just all of me, my real being?”

“Pretender of real being? Sounds not sound.”

“Well then, maybe I shall not call you hero, my person.”

“Well then, i shall ask you to ask me for a dance, my beloved stranger. The music is all ears now.”

“true, we are practically stranger, my person. But this string is undeniable, don’t you think?

“I have no idea what you are talking about, stranger. Just ask me to waltz already,”

“My person is of no patience. Well then my liege, if you permit, may i hold your hand with this dirty one of mine?”

“With all the world’s pleasure.”

“Then I shall dance with you with transcedental pleasure.”

“You can be funny if you try, i see.”

“As you said, I try, my person.”

“I’ve been curious how would it feel to hold these hands. They are cold, as expected. But immensely warm after seconds.”

“That’s human biology, my person.”

“Would it be hard to; listen a nice description about You?”

“I see an effort. I shall thank you then.”

“...”

“...”

“I..initially admitted, aren’t I?”

“As clear as the sky, my person”

“I’ve longed for this.”

“Either do I, maybe even longer. The first time You stare into my eyes, I couldn’t see anything else. You were imprinted infinitely, even in my nightmares.”

“The pull was really strong, i too, could not imagine to be actually, helplessly drown in someone. As i was designated to never live for myself and could not truly enjoy what they call ‘companion’.”

“What am i for you?”

“You are my ocean, which i drown in with no sigh to stop. BUt your ocean is like your hand. Exactly the same. They are really warm now.”

“If you want to know, please allow me to explain about you. You are like a stranger which has lost their way in the mountain but the we both are lost in that dreaded mountain and try to finding way together. But then we never found the way and chose to stay together till whatever time stopped us to do so. That unfortunate situation are one that unite us, yet what make us crumble, yet what make us, us. What make us only stoppable by time.”

“That was oddly full of detail”

“I know, right?”

“So, what are we goin to do, i the end of all this?

“If we’re talking about end, means either you or I die.”

“Exactly”

“Well its simple for me. I kill you, but there’s no continuation of story for me. My endings are either dead or killed You.”

“Almost the same, but maybe if i kill you first then i would be a day longer here to make sure there’s no more single superior hero. No more life only for others.”

“Well then its decided.”

“What is?”

“The end of our story would be us, the one who ended our story would be us.”

“More or less, dearest.”

“My person, my dearest person, being ended by You or beuing the end of our story is such an immesurable honor and love i believe would last for many lifetimes. I shall meet you in another life after this.”

“I hope our lifetimes forward would show mercy and give more times even just one more second, my villain”

“So long for the last battle”

“So long for the last battle”

[starcitysirens]

[fic] A Wednesday Evening in Late June

Title: A Wednesday Evening in Late June. Pairing: Sara Lance/ Rip Hunter Rating: PG Word Count: 1800 Summary: Reaction fic for 3x01. Six weeks after Rip disbands the Legends, Sara runs into him at a bar. Inspired by Sara's line in 3x01 about running into one of Rip's agents and stealing his entrance badge. This is a scenario where that agent is actually Rip himself. Notes: I'm sure writing a variation of this is required for every writer in the fandom. I couldn't resist. Special thanks to @teruel-a-witch for being my sounding board for this.

{read on ao3}

A Wednesday evening in late June, 2017, the shittiest bar in Star City. Beer-sticky counters and cracked peanut shells on the floor. A man sitting at the bar. In his clean, bureaucrat suit, he stands out as a thing that doesn’t belong.

An anachronism.

She’d recognized the back of his head as soon as she walked into the bar. That ridiculous haircut. The sell-out suit. It’s not enough for him that he took her ship, her job, her city, now he’s gotta show up in her bar, too. But she’ll be damned if she lets him keep it.

She mentally unfurls her laundry list of grievances, fully intending to make him hear every one of them. There's no magic time portal that can save his smug ass from her wrath this time. So she takes the empty seat to his right (and isn’t that ironic) and waits for him to notice her. When he turns, he looks at her through red-rimmed, tired eyes and there's no surprise there, just the somber, heavy resignation she's used to seeing him carry. Disappointment tempers her ire down to irritation.

He’s already drunk.

Back up. Rewind:

Around six o’clock on a Wednesday evening in late June, 2017, a man walks into a bar.

The place, a dive bar at street level with three apartments upstairs, smells like cheap booze and cigarettes. Four or five men, middle aged, are drinking at the bar. They are probably construction or maintenance workers, blue-collared, unlike the man who’s just walked in. But like him, they seek to drown themselves in cheap, bitter drink to postpone arriving home alone to face the scary emptiness. He flags the bartender, orders a scotch, and keep them coming, he says.

Tonight, he intends to forget.

Fast forward, three, four hours. A woman walks into a bar. She is angry and he is already drunk.

It’s been six weeks, but the sight of him still boils her blood, the betrayal burning like a fresh wound, and she wonders if he will ever stop getting under her skin.

It’s been six weeks, but really, it's been five long and lonely years and the sight of her, so alive in her anger, still leaves him dumb.

“Miss Lance,” he says. Her name feels heavy on his liquor soaked tongue. Yet inescapable.

“Rip,” she answers, intentionally despoiling him of any of his titles, bringing him down to her lowly civilian level. If looks could kill he’d fall over dead on the spot.

The air between them hums with all the things they haven't said. Their silence, negative space. If one squints just so her anger transforms into hurt, his dismissiveness into longing.

In front of them, on the TV above the bar, a teary woman talks to a reporter about the mystery blonde woman who saved her from an attacker. That woman is a hero, she says.

His lips quirk up in a sloppy smirk.

“Gee, I wonder who that was.”

“Screw you,” she says, resenting the sarcasm in his voice.

“Ah, there she is.” She’d managed to make it a whole three minutes without cursing him. He's impressed.

“ Was that something else I was supposed to give up on your decree? What do you want from me?”

“Well, you have to admit, you're not exactly being very subtle, miss Lance.”

Of course it would be about that.

“Are you afraid I might save the wrong person and upset your new friends at the Bureau? Are you afraid you might have to come after me?”

“They’re not my friends,” he slurs into his glass.

He figured it out eventually. That’s where he’d gone wrong with them, the Legends. He’d kept them at arm’s length when he thought of them as only tools in his arsenal against Vandal Savage. (Not her, though, she'd always managed to get under his skin.) And then, after, when willful duty bound them together, he watched them all grow closer, but the circle of friendship had been closed to him. No one to blame but himself really. He can't fault them. He'd never let them in.

He'd tried to let her in.

And she, well she’d thought they were friends, once. He'd seen the worst of her and he hadn't been afraid. He saved her life. He gave her purpose, he'd said I believe in you and the memory of it still steals the breath from her. But then he’d stabbed her in the back. She’d let him go that day because she thought he needed to find himself. That, she understood. But she thinks about the man who emerged from that portal in Los Angeles, standing tall and proud like she'd never seen him before and she wonders if they'd broken something in him when they broke time. If the real Rip is out there somewhere displaced in time. She’d gone to the ends of time trying to save him before, she'd do it again if it meant fixing this.

“I missed you, miss Lance.” He wouldn't be saying that if he were sober but he's waited five years to see her again and it doesn't matter that he's not supposed to be saying things like that.

“You don’t get to say that. Shut up,” she says. How dare he? How dare he say that when he’d been the one to walk away? And why does she care? Why does she allow him to continue to hurt her?

Why does she still crave his validation?

“How can you can sit here and tell me you missed me after what you did? To me?”

He flinches away from the volcanic heat of her hurt. He hadn't lied when he’d praised her leadership, hadn't faked his belief in her. Only, he'd looked around and found no room for him by her side. And so he walked away. How was he supposed to know things would unravel the way they did?

“I didn't do anything to you.” Liar. “This is so much bigger than your feelings, Sara. I’m trying to fix things.”

“What does that mean? Fix what?”

He doesn’t answer, he's said too much already. He swallows down his response with what's left in his glass. He feels the world tilt and sway around him.

He's too drunk to fight and she's too sober to keep it going. She's had enough of his secrets.

“I'm taking you home,” she says. “Where's your place?”

“That's classified.”

Sara huffs, resigned, “My place it is, then.”

Sara's place is small, just a studio with only the bare essentials: a bed, a table, two chairs. It feels like he takes up too much space just by standing there. She can't breathe.

What's she going to do with him now that he's here?

He’s here, in her space, unsteady on his feet, his eyes heavy and fixed on her face, his cold hand on her neck, thumb to the butterfly flutter of her pulse. He’d snuffed that out once. It still haunts him.

“I’m so sorry, Sara,” he says, slightly pressing his thumb down. “You died. I had to let you.”

Phantom pains stab in Sara’s side. She remembers how cold she’d been lying on the snow, blood pouring out of the wound he'd made on her body. His hand on her neck feels suddenly disquieting. But he goes on ...

“And your sister she was…”

Her heart seizes, her breath falters as she realizes what he’s talking about.

Three arrows to her chest. A tumble off a roof. Knowledge of a thing cannot impede it. He knows this, perhaps better than anyone.

“I wanted to tell her I understood because I’d also held my dead love in my arms that way. But I couldn’t. So, I lay flowers on your grave. Gardenias and rain lilies. And I would look at that date on the gravestone and remind myself it wasn’t forever. That your death had an expiration date and I would save you.”

He touches his forehead against hers, his scotch laden breath on her face.

“I changed time for you.”

“And you let her die.”

He’d killed her, too, and she forgave him, because she held herself responsible for his trauma. But for Laurel? She calls on that old rage just to get through tonight, Sara, just get through tonight. She pulls and pulls on the thread but the anger slips away from her grasp. How can she hold onto it when he’s staring at her with liquor hazed wet eyes, looking, for a moment, like the man who’d once absolved her and declared himself the monster instead?

Her own uncomfortable revelations threaten to come forth. She holds her tongue instead of saying: I used to hold your compass to my chest, hoping it would lead me to you. And I blame myself for what the Legion did to you. What's the point of baring herself to him? In the morning, he'll be gone again and it'll be as if this never happened.

The morning will take all truth from them.

“Sara,” he whispers, her name on his lips like benediction. “Please, forgive me my unworthiness.”

He might as well render her amnesiac with a flash of his machine.

She sets him down at the foot of her bed. She strips him of his suit jacket, letting him take care of the shirt buttons. She pushes his oxford shirt off his shoulders until he’s left in an undershirt and lets herself look, without the guilt this time.

It's been five—no, nearly seven—years and he is not a man in mourning anymore. And she could reach out and lay her hands upon the pale skin of his freckled shoulders, push him back and take them to that yet uncharted place between reverence and wrath. But she doesn’t because if he were to circle gentle hands around her wrists to stop her, she thinks she just might pierce the world with the steel of her hurt.

Come here, he says, curling on her bed like he's done it many times before. Like he belongs there. She takes off her boots and her jeans and settles on the bed beside him.

The narrow space between them might as well be a chasm.

“Someday, Sara,” he says, before he closes his eyes.

How perfectly mistimed their timing.

He reaches out toward her chest, and she holds her breath. His palm flattens over the space between her breasts, where her heart beats strong and steady.

Five years. And one of them with her dead.

Her hand curls over his.

In the morning, she’ll reclaim the anger and remind herself of the dangers of confusing energy with possibility. But for tonight, with his hand on her heart, she’ll embrace the sadness and let herself sink under the weight of what could have been.