#as much as i'd like to say i wasnt in love w him . i listened to this song multiple times a day

[saviorkink]

wahhhh wahhhhh wahhh ive been in love with her for ages and i cant seem to get it right i fell in love with her in stages my whole life i had a dream where we had kids you would cook id do the nappies

[liverpool-enjoyer]

footballers as taylor swift songs

requested by my swiftie in Christ @yudgefudge!! thank you luv <3

leo: you're on your own, kid. ive been associating him w this song way before i knew that everyone else was doing the same lmao. it rlly does encompass his entire journey, from humble beginnings n jus being a little kid playing for fun (from sprinkler splashes/to fireplace ashes), to being the best in the world n all the struggles that come with it (i search the party.../just to learn that my dreams arent rare). the man gave his blood sweat n tears like hed be saved by a the "perfect kiss" which here is a metaphor for the wc obviously. n ohmygosh "everything you lose is a step you take"!!!! BRUH???!?!?! every line, from "i didnt chose this town (ie paris)/i dream of getting out/theres just one who could make me stay", to "the jokes werent funny, i took the money/my friends from home dont know what to say" are all SO leo coded.

ney: anti-hero. i ADORE him n theres a lot of people that like him. but theres also a lot of people who like not liking him. hes one of the best in the world, and as great as that is, he has, unjustifiably so, garnered a significant amount of haters (its me, hi, im the problem, its me/at tea time, everybody agrees). hes rlly endured a ton of it throughout the years, but keeps going (pierced through the heart/but never killed). after facing so much backlash, youd probly worry about the people that still support you and how much longer you can hold on to that (one day i'll watch as youre leaving/and life will lose all its meaning). also, hes a rich person. which makes the bridge pretty relatable for him but like in a funny way.

gavi: nothing new. this one is more based off my inner musings than actual like evidence. i have no idea whats going on this lil dudes head. but i know that IF i were in his position, i'd relate to this song a FUCK TON. its basically a song abt being in the spotlight, n being the shiny young thing that has peoples attention. but what happens when thats not true anymore? (Lord, what will become of me/once ive lost my novelty?) what happens in a few years when an even younger prodigy comes around n impresses everyone? (are we only biding time 'til i lose your attention?/and someone else lights up the room?/people love an ingénue). im not gonna write down the whole birdge but its basically abt the inevitably of meeting your replacement. the song basically asks: "will you still want me/when im nothing new?" he seems like a happy dude who probly doesnt think abt this stuff, but if i were a famous promising young soccer player, this stuff would definitely weigh on my mind.

muller: the story of us. Lord forgive my mullendowski heart. i tried to think of a song that would fit jus him n leave shipping out of it but,,, yeah it wasnt happening. in my mind theyre a package deal. anywho the song's about being around someone youre still in love with after youve broken up (now im standing alone in a crowded room/and we're not speaking and im dying to know/is it killing you like its killing me). ik theyre on good terms n all but in my mindbrain i imagine him them being in the same place for the first time since lewy left him bayern and poor thomas jus "nervously pulling at my clothes/and trying to look busy." and my gosh "but you held your pride like you shouldve held me"??? the AUDACITY. i can go off about this whole song tbh. oh n also even tho speak nows a country album this song is kinda,,, rock/punk-ish kinda??? which is to say, its very loud. much like a certain someone. fun fact i almost put seven for him bc of "before i learned civility/i used to scream ferociously/anytime i wanted" but i figured one line wasnt enough for me to put the whole song.

mbappe: evermore. this is a brooding song. a depression song. so i can definitely see this as a post 2022 world cup final song for him. it actually relates to a sports loss very well. (i used to listen to this song n think a oikawa from haikyuu,,, heh). if theres one thing abt mbappe its that hes dedicated. i can see him "replay(ing) my footsteps on each stepping stone/trying to find the one where i went wrong," yknow, jus thinking abt the final over n over. very "i rewind the tape but all it does is pause/on the very moment all was lost." but at the end of it all, hes young, hes talented, n has more world cups ahead of him. ie: "i had a feeling so peculiar/this pain wouldnt be for/evermore."

klopp: dear reader. this whole song is just advice. its taylor dishing out advice to her fans, most of whom are younger than her. kloppo loves his players, he wants to give them good advice that applies not only on the pitch, but off it as well. (dear reader/bend when you can, snap when you have to/dear reader/you dont have to answer, just cause they asked you) however its no secret that our lovely manager can be pretty hard on himself. so its possible that while he gives advice to those he loves, he feels like hes not worthy of giving it (you wouldnt take my word for it/if you knew who was talking).

again, everything stated is speculation, fueled entirely by my delusional lil mindbrain. as i dont know these ppl.

[falsehopesidkanymore]

Tired. Just a vent. 7-7-24

All I can say is the way he constantly talks to me when we argue should've been a clear sign to stay away for good. I was ready to heal, it had been 2 months down and no contact, from being together for 11years and going through our bs, this was the longest we had not contact each other. And today, he had reminded me of the reason why I didn't want to contact him at all, I should not have answered his call, I should've had him blocked, but my dumbass always had this hope that he is still the same Chris I met in the beginning of our relationship. All he had to do was say the words I wanted to hear, "I miss you, I still love you etc." and with that, I found myself talking to him again, ready to try and start again for the millionth time.

This day was supposed to be a good day, we were leaving his moms place to get breakfast, he said "Who got breakfast this time, me or you?", I felt bad because he got food the last times, but I knew where I was at money wise, I recently quit my job and my new job dont start til August, I knew id have to work more uber eats and instacart delivery today just to make enough for my upcoming bills, if I was working it would be a different story and for sure I'd get us food, I always offer when I have money, but this time I suggested him and said "I think your richer than me right now", he agreed to get breakfast but said something along the lines of "how, when i been buying the food" to which I replied, "its because I got $600 monthly credit card bills on top that my other bills", we got in his car and he said "idk why you never listen to me" and suggested again that I file for bankruptcy, but I told him I already looked into it and decided to not take that route for reasons like: my car will get taken away, my credit will be bad for a couple years, itll be hard for me to get an apartment for a couple years etc., he said he can sell his car to me, and that the years will pass and its better to settle my debts, but I told him again that I already decided, and I dont want his car, I cant even drive stick, he called me picky, and kept insisting and giving me reasons as to why I should file bankruptcy.

I asked if we can just not talk about it anymore, he told me "im not the one who brought it up", I replied and said "you did actually" and he said "no, your gaslighting me right now", and I said "nope, you are the one who brought it up and is the one actually doing the gaslighting, I did mention my $600 monthly debt and you brought up the bankruptcy suggestion", he said im not making sense and was getting frustrated and I continued to try to make it make sense for him to understand it but he told me to "shut the fuck up already", and now at this point we are both mad at each other driving towards Mcdonalds, I told him to at least acknowledge it then ill be done with it bec its not right he tell me im gaslighting him when its actually reversed.

He kept saying that I should just shut the fuck up already and told me that im annoying, we were already at Mcdonalds drive thru at this point and I was so irritated at how he is speaking to me and told him i dont want anything anymore, & ofc I wasnt about to listen to his "STFUs", I made it clear that he should not tell me to stfu and that if he does im not listening and that I could speak when I want and that he needs to acknowledge that he called me a gaslighter when he was the one gaslighting me, he replied and told me that im too much, and im annoying and a bitch and that I really should just stfu, and I responded saying the same thing again, that no, thats not gonna work on me, im not going to shut up, he got his food and we drove out of mcdonalds.

I told him im done, were done and im not gonna take the disrespect again, he replied sarcastically "OooOohhh OoooOOkaAAaayy" as if to say im bluffing or that im just saying it and will still stick around (which I dont blame him for thinking this way bec its true, im always still around whenever he calls after our bs, my dumbass always has false hope), in response I said "im am done, fck this already, im just gonna go fuck someone else", I know it was wrong of me to say, but at the moment of anger and wanting him to see that I am serious, thats what came out my mouth, he called me a hoe and told me to go spread my legs and be a hoe, I told him that its actually him that is the real hoe when it comes to the opposite sex, I just say im gonna do things but he does the real action, brining up that everytime we break up he seeks validation of other women so quickly, finding out recently how quickly he downloaded Tinder again and even subscribed again and paid for the "tinder gold package", he said he never fucked anyone, but I told him that im not dumb and regardless if you didnt, thats what tinder is for, setting up a plan to eventually do it, I havent fucked anyone other than my ex at Saipan & in Hawaii so far its just him even after all our issues, and for him to call me a hoe when he does all this so quickly everytime we are apart pissed me off, so I told him "its you who is worse and is actually a hoe" , he responded "men cant be hoes, only women, were just hoe-makers", I was just mindblown at this point that this is really his mindset and I should've already known, he is an adrew tate fan, im stupid to think that 2 months is really gonna change a person, I expressed how fucked up that is to say and he continued to tell me to stfu and that all this started bec im broke and telling me to go home already.

We parked by my car at his moms house, I got out his car and told him he shouldn't be talking to me like that, went in my car, and started to drive away, as I passed by Mcdonalds I realized I left my weed with him, I felt so stressed and needed to burn, I turned around and called him, he answered with a "WHAT", I told him im going back to grab my weed from him, he told me "well good luck getting it back" and that i should ask a new guy to get me weed, I told him I just want it back, im stressed and it is mines from my uncle, he said "good luck im not home anymore" but as I turn in his street he was just leaving so I drove in front of his car to block him, but he went around me and drove off, we were still on the phone at this point and I said "wow, really" and he said yeah wow, and started to continue to say alot of toxic things so I hung up on him and just turned around and followed him tailing behind him, he wasnt stopping so I honked couple of times and saw he was blinking into the gas station, so I did the same and thought "finally, hes just going to give me my weed back", but boy was I wrong, what did I really expect, this is Chris.

He got out his car and proceeded to the gas pump, I got out as well, walked up to him and asked him if I can get my weed back, he said no and continued to ignore eye contact while inputting his card in the gas pump, so I checked his doors but they were locked, I kept asking him if he can just give it back and he kept saying no, I told him id leave him alone if he just gives it back, still he said no, out of frustration I became louder, asking the same question if he can just give me back my stuff, a guy in a moped came by us and asked if all was ok, Chris said yeah, and the guy said something along the lines of "u sure, i been hearing alot about girls asking for their things back" and Chris said "why your gonna do something about it?" and they guy was about to step off his moped and Chris put his phone down, but I stepped in between them and told Chris to just give me my stuff, he ignored me and still and told the guy something along the lines of that he grew up in nalo, oluolu st., as if to represent or as if that will be him appear tough, anyways at this point he went to sit in his car and I didnt see where the other guy went, but I stood by his door asking the same thing, and he told me no still, and said "you see what your causing", he drove off with his door still open bec I was standing by it and told me he going home and drove off, so i drove off as well to go to his place, but ofc he wasnt even home.

I parked on his street, thinking if i should just wait there or just go home already, he then texts me that im "fucking crazy" and that he "cannot believe I did all that for a nug" and that im "a fucking trip & acting like a kid", he proceeded to say he didnt give it back bec he didnt want me to leave (even tho he verbally said "go home") and that he just wanted to talk like adults (even tho how he was speaking to me was not how adults speak to each other), I responded and told him all he is saying is literally a projection of himself, its childish to hold someone stuff and keep it from them when they are asking for it back, and he shouldve just told me he wants to talk instead of calling me names, I told him im at his street and I just want my weed back, he told me he is at the other gas station bec i guess its my fault that he wasnt able to put gas at the other gas station we were at, he told me if i want my weed back id have to drive to him, I told him that im not trying to take Pali hwy back to town and that he needs to meet me at his street bec thats where he said he'd be, still he kept urging me to drive to him and that hes not doing me any favors after all that and that hes only gonna wait for me for a couple minutes, I told him I already followed him around and he drove off 2 times and its not fair and that he should be the one to bring it, and that if not I may need to turn to his family for help.

I stayed parked on his street and eventually after a couple mins I see his car pull in, he rolled up next to my car and handed me my weed back and drove off.

I am so damn tired of this, I was in the middle of healing and Idk why he had to text me and call me saying he misses me and wants to be with me, idk why I answered his call, I should've had him blocked, but now here I am, going through the same bs. & Chris being Chris, will most likely be seeking another girl for validation & supply while spreading his side of the story probably saying I am drama and toxic, in his eyes, he has no faults and is always the victim and sane one, and now I will have to start all over my healing journey. God, please give me the strength, im sorry Ive asked this a million times but you need to give me more strength than you normally do, you should know me, im weak & always hoping. I dont wanna be weak anymore, I wanna be strong and be good and whole on my own.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Izuna would be fucking insufferable actually. Like, he was proven right on virtually every level— Hashirama betrayed Madara w a literal backstab, Tobirama proved he could and would fuck over the Uchiha even in death, the village in general was the downfall of the Uchiha.

Even his brothers pipe dream of "creating a safe for the children" (which he never really got that invested in or believed could become real) is proven wrong w the village and its record of fucking Mr. 6 year old chunin Kakashi and 11 year old ANBU itachi over there.

Nice going on your dream Madara, Izuna fucking TOLD YOU it wasn't gonna work

I don't think Izuna would especially care ab child soldiers, he was one himself and he turned out fiiiine. He will however not just give up on the opportunity to just really rub that salt into the wound of Madara and Hashirama's fucking failure of a dream

Izuna kind of sucks as a guy actually, like, he's good enough for warring states standards person wise— but "warring states standard shinobi" and "modern day standard shinobi" are two very, very different things. There was not much room for mercy or kindness from the era Izuna was from, nor teamwork, and Izuna is used to either being in charge or being directly opposed with little inbetween. I'd say Izuna is out here living his best life but he's really not and is super fucking mad ab everything actually, which just makes him worse.

He's on a trip first to find his brother and find out wtf happened— then when he learns exactly what happened, on a trip to beat the ass of everyone he can get his fucking hands on

@getyourmindrightson

Izuna is out for fucking BLOOD!! Madara, when he catches you Madara—

No but thats literally how it'd go tho. Madara is like omg,, my baby brother,, my sweet baby brother I missed you so much I did all of this for you,, and Izuna is screaming DID I FUCKING ASK YOU TO DO ANY OF THIS !!! DID I FUCKING ASK !!!!! I REMEMBER ASKING FOR SOMETHING BUT IT SURE AS HELL WASNT THIS !!!!!!!!!!

Madara, preaching to a crowd he's basically forcing to listen to him at gunpoint: "my precious little brother was so kind,, he loved the arts, he loved to dance, he shouldn't have been forced to fight, he should have been able to live in peace. Instead he was cut down so ruthlessly, an end he never deserved,,"

And behind him a visibly deranged, activley on fire Izuna is goading Tobirama into one last battle to the death so he can quote, "rip your lungs out through his throat like I should have done the first time"

(Madara is next)

@eularin

Izuna totally wins actually, idk what else happens or changes but the fic ends with Izuna refusing to go back to the pure lands.

"And now we can finally put your poor, tired soul to rest—"

lmao no he's here to stay sorry. Get fucked. He's gonna go hang out with Sasuke and the rest of team Taka and maybe figure out wtf Orochimaru is doing. Fuck you, fuck your village, fuck your Hokage, Izuna is OUT. You'll see him when you see him.

Sasuke is very happy w him staying, they can disown their shitty older brothers and have eachother as brothers instead. Sasuke can go on his quest for redemption or whatever and say it's smthn he has to do alone but Izuna straight up does not give a SHIT, sorry Sasuke he's coming with. Hey let's stop at the theater in the next village! Izuna's missed out on decades of new shows, he has a lot of stuff to catch up on.

But yeah, everyone else can get put to rest or whatever but Izuna is here to stay. Big fuckin boohoo for the majority of ninja society, he's gonna terrorize so many people. There is no escaping him.

Naruto canon ends, final battle is over, everyone's happy and sHIT WHAT IS HE STILL DOING HERE

Fic where, in practicing to get edo tensei right, Orochimaru uses Izuna as a test subject and tries to substitute DNA to make it work, using Suigetsu's bc like it's extra flexible or whatever bc shape change

Edo tensei mermaid Izuna locked in a tube somewhere in Oro's lab,,

He's SO mad about it and has literally no information ab what's going on at all bc hes locked in a fucking tube !!

Bonus points if Orochimaru doesn't even specifically know who he is

They unearthed him w the rest of the founders on a whim but bc no one really requested him specifically, the body just kinda sat there and eventually got mixed in w the rest of the Uchiha corpses, till Orochimaru requests an Uchiha corpse and they shrug and send him over

He still has Madara's eyes too (left alone either by oversight / or bc they decided not to pull them before he got mixed in w the other bodies, who had by then already gotten scooped of their eyes so they assumed he'd already been harvested)

Ok but like. No one even tells him what happened/where he is/that madara made the village. Why would anyone?? The only one Izuna sees regularly is Orochimaru, and he doesn't know those facts would matter??

Izuna doesn't even know what Konoha IS, he isn't gonna recognize the name

From Izuna's perspective, he died in his bed and then BOOM. Tank time.

Orochimaru might tell him it's been some years since his death (thinking he died in the massacre) and even if Izuna doesn't believe him bc like, enemy, enemy territory, he sure as fuck probably won't be thinking "Ah yes it's been decades since my death and my brother went against my dying wishes to make that village"

Tho he might get nervous and start picking up those cues when he sees the tech

Oro mentions offhand that the Uchiha were all killed and Izuna immediatley assumes the Senju won the war and loses it

He'd figure it out eventually obviously (probably after being set free, most likley by Sasuke w Suigetsu) But he'd also probably keep that to himself, bc like, enemy territory n stuff

Mermaid shapeshifter Izuna terrorizes the shinobi world,, Sasuke doesn't know what he just unleashed.

Ok actually but like. Suigetsu's shape-shifting but bc Izuna has a fire chalra nature, make it liquid fire shape-shifting. Fuckin, fire mermaid Izuna. He has an awful time retaining his form and actually for the first chunk of time, him being in that tube is genuinley just for the best. He keeps turning into liquid fire with no real solid body and can't put himself back together for hours.

Izuna hears his brother is still alive and running Akatsuki and is so down to clown till he realizes THATS NOT HIS FUCKING BROTHER HOW DARE YOU USE HIS NAME

Anyways oh my god Izuna on team Taka,,

He and Sasuke would be SUCH a dynamic actually, they look alike so much?? Sasuke doesn't recognize him but he's clearly a close relation, so there's some mystery there. Sasuke is like super shaken by finding a member of his clan and Izuna, by that point aware that apparently the rest of his clan is dead, is sticking to him like GLUE. Sasuke is bitchy little brother coded and Izuna understands this is probably karma bc he is also bitchy little brother coded

They probably clash a lot, especially bc both are expecting to be in charge here, but ultimately I think they'd get along better than Sasuke does most people, and there's also that bonus vulnerability of like. Izuna is an older Uchiha boy who's trying to brother him (with a noticeably different brother-ing style to Itachi too) and Sasuke has been alone for so, so long.

Sasuke accidentally calls him nii-san then promptly has several break downs about it

Suigetsu and Izuna either get along ALARMINGLY well or they hate eachother. I think I wanna go with the first bc it sounds more fun. They couldn't talk to eachother in the tanks but they could still see eachother, so maybe they kind of developed some sort of code to communicate?

They are "cause problems on purpose" friends. They're also "wdym I can't kill him???" *looks of genuine confusion* buddies. They're giving Sasuke the biggest headache actually, someone stop them. If you leave them to "take care" of a problem, there will be carnage.

Also, like, Izuna literally has Suigetsu's DNA in him. That's a thing.

Mmm maybe some complex thoughts ab how Izuna has effectively become a bloodline thief against his will (the ULTIMATE taboo for shinobi from his era) and he's like, actually fucked up about it.

Running joke where they refer to each other as cousins, could be funny. They argue over who's the bastard child (it's Izuna obviously but he won't just take that title lying down)

Izuna is like, in his 20s, and Karin is around 16 or 17 at this time I think?? She definatley has a bit of a crush on him (which helps take the edge off Sasuke) but like, he's not acknowledging that beyond patting her on the head. She'll get over it eventually. (Sasuke hides behind Izuna when Karin is trying to flirt w him and Izuna absoloutley laughs at them both)

Izuna is actually really impressed w Karin's sensing abilities specifically. I think he'd be a bit on edge around her at first, bc Uzumaki -> Senju ally. But he'd quickly assume she's a deserter (he has no idea the Uzumaki are pretty much wiped out rip) and becomes cautiously chill after a minute or two (also when he first escapes, he REALLY doesn't have the luxury to pick and choose his allies. He's instantly attached to Sasuke and cautiously fond of Suigetsu, and Karin seems to have Sasuke's trust at least, so he'll keep an eye on it but otherwise trust Sasuke's judgment)

Izuna and Karin besties arc where they paint eachothers nails is a must. I love the take that Izuna is really into fashion n stuff and he and Karin should like, trade hair tips or smthn. Karin knows modern soap brands where as Izuna bought his soaps from clan vendors who no longer fucking exist, so like, it's definatley helpful.

Karin is the only one of them to have any real hint of where tf Izuna came from (tho even she doesn't have the full details) it'd be cool if she was the one to figure out more details ab his general mystery— maybe something about her chakra sensing gives her a hint as to how old he really is?? Or she finds the paper trail that hints towards the bodies being mixed up???? Idk but she deserves to have an "aha!" moment

Also Izuna's medical knowledge/standards are NOT up to modern and Karin is so mad about it, she's giving him hella lessons on first aid n shit and he's very, very interested in all this free medical knowledge

I know the least about Jugo so bear with me on this one pls— I think Izuna would find Jugo to be pretty fascinating as a person actually. He enjoys tentatively poking him with sticks, and comes to genuinley like him as a person (when he's calm) pretty quickly

Also cats love Izuna so he gets bonus points from Jugo bc of that, they can bond while petting Izuna's contracted cats or smthn idk

Yeah I really don't know much ab Jugo so that's all I have to offer sorry

Ok let's backtrack a bit, back to Orochimaru ->

Fun scene towards the very start of the fic, where Izuna still has no fucking clue what's going on, but recognizes Orochimaru as a member of the Orochi clan. He says as much, and Orochimaru has to pause.

No one's mentioned his clan to him in years. They haven't been relevant in Konoha since Orochimaru was born— even before that, they were barley relevant. Izuna should not know who they are.

(The only reason he does know is bc they had a neutral to positive relationship w the Uchiha back in the warring era, and Izuna had visited them once before)

Immediatley, Orochimaru is squinting at this guy. He's giving Danzo a ring asking who exactly he got sent over, but Danzo doesn't actually have anything to offer him??? The paperwork is a mess and there were a LOT of Uchiha. He's not registered as a shinobi tho.

Hmmmm.... ok.

Orochimaru is suddenly aware there's some kind of mystery here now, which is dangerous for Izuna. Izuna is, again, in enemy territory, and he's able to pick up on the fact that Orochimaru doesn't actually know who he is. This ofc means that HE sure as hell won't be telling him.

Maybe he bares his teeth and sarcastically says he's the second coming of Uchiha Madara (not even that big of a lie when u think ab it)

Pivoting time ->

Izuna is listed in the data books as like, being equally as talented as Madara and I think we should talk ab that more actually

I love Tobirama but he really did get him by surprise

Izuna just got cocky and taken by surprise!!

HE DIDNT EVEN GET COCKY HE JUST LOGICALLY DIDNT EXPECT TOBIRAMA TO FUCKING INVENT TELEPORTATION

Then he went down in the history books both in canon and out of it as the weakest of the 4, that's so tragic

Izuna gets mermaid edo tenseid and (once people know who he is) everyone is like "Ok well at least he's uhh. The weakest of the 4 right?? I mean tobirama killed him when they were like only 19/20 so we'll probably be fine???"

Then he just fucking bodies them all bc hes a nightmare actually AND on whatever special test trial edo tensei steroids they gave him

Izuna is fueled on rage and spite and he's full up on both

Imagine he gets the full story of everything that happened while he was dead too, like.

Ok so Madara goes against his EXPRESS dying wishes and makes his village. (what the fuck!!) Then backs out (yay!!) but in an awful way that effectively fucks over the entire clan for years to come (nii-san what the FUCK)

Then gets literally backstabbed by Hashirama (HE FUCKING TOLD YOU!!! WHAT DID HE FUCKING SAY!!!!!)

Then the Uchiha seem to thrive and like. Ok. He's still mad about it, but at least something... kind of nice came out of it.

THEN BOTH THE VILLAGE AND MADARA'S(?????) SCHEMES KILL THEIR ENTIRE CLAN

Izuna is SO mad at literally everyone, holy shit. The only one safe from his rage is Hikaku, god rest his poor, poor soul

Actually, I think it'd be funny if Izuna was like, indescribably extra awful mad at everyone— but then is like. Normal mad amounts at Tobirama, who was a bitch but at least didn't seem to carry on a personal fucking vendetta against the Uchiha like EVERYONE ELSE INCLUDING FUCKING MADARA FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON

Izuna is going like, "FUCK you, FUCK you, OH, EXTRA FUCK YOU—" then squints at Tobirama and goes "...fuck you." Then goes back to screaming

To be clear, Tobirama absolutely contributed to the end of the Uchiha, but like. A) it'd be funny, and B) at least his seemed slightly less on purpose than literally everyone else

There's also I think a difference of like. Izuna never expected Tobirama to suddenly turn around and be pro Uchiha

Where as everyone else (again, including his brother!!) Was like. A genuine betrayal

Tobirama fucking over the clan was never a surprise

He never pretended to be on their side (like Hashirama lowkey did)

Tobirama vs Izuna but it's them getting to relive their rivalry where as Izuna vs literally anyone else is emotionally charged as hell and filled with demented screaming

Leaving it there for now, I might actually try to write this one but who tf knows

[jeonjcngkook]

what are things that you would love to see from each member while they do their own stuff? songs, collabs, genres, visuals? what kind of performances would you like to see from them?

oh this is a great question !!!

ill start w namjoon — id love to see him go back ever so slightly to the gritty side of his rap like what joke and do you was, but maybe just not as provocative because i understand he's mellowed out alot since then lmao. but with how much emotions he displayed during festa around the kpop / idol industry, i think he has a hell of a lot to say. i think he'll definitely release an album in the next 1-2 years, a mix of sounds like an advanced moodchild sound to something with more of an oomf. collabs for namjoon, i recon he'd stay local and get a female korean singer in there somewhere.

seokjin — it sounds bad but I don't see an album for jin coming anytime soon??? i do see maybe an appearance or two on some tv shows and they dont necessarily have to be kdramas. i could see him as a panalist on comedy shows or a special guest on a cooking show? in terms of music, maybe he would do a few osts but i dont see full albums

jimin — again, i dont see him rushing an album out any time soon regardless of how much one may be worked out. if he does come out with one then id expect slower songs within the pop category with plenty of tenor range in vocals to show off and display his ability to hit higher notes. for collabs, probably none. but he could use prod. suga on a track

yoongi — listen if d2 isnt out by the end of the year then i will throw myself off this very hypothetical bridge into the sea. this is gonna be a big year or so for yoongi and judging by his schedule, we're going to be seeing SO much of him. he has his producing work, he has his album... god can you just think of an album sized d1 jgzjfsfjstjs hot!!!! as for collabs, he's very unpredictable and could go in any direction. but don't expect any sope collabs..

hobi — honestly, i was not expecting lollapalooza to happen at all. i feel like lolla wont be the last festival for him. maybe for this year definitely since coachella, reading & leeds, glastonbury just to name a few have pasted but next year i think he'll make many more appearances. of course his album this year too. I'd like to see something from him like tear in terms of sound but i think im reaching for the stars there

taehyung — expect sexy 60s influenced rnb pop songs with a few collabs in there. id say artists like jon batiste & giveon are super likely to feature. I'd love to see taehyung do an ep of covers from his favourite artists???? an ep of covers from ray charles, frank sinatra, buddy holly, ella fitzgerald would be kgdjsjfsjt ggggod yesssss. im very excited to see which direction he could go, how he'll mix the use of his baritone vocal range with his ability to hit those high notes! we all know he has it in hin

jungkook — the charlie collab was expected. this soon? i wasnt expecting that. it just makes sense that its with charlie too. you can tell that there is a level of support and appreciation from both parties and there has been for years. regardless of what your opinion is on the latter. i dont think this will be the end of jungkook featuring on tracks.. yes bts are already popular on their own but teaming with charlie is opening up a whole new demographic of fans who listen to songs that aren't korean so it'll generate a lot of popularity around jungkook as a soloist. in terms of his album, i dont see it being this year or if it is, it'll be close to the end of the year / early next year. i dont think he would have any collabs, just to keep the focus solely on him. i would love to see him use rock influenced beats and breakdowns. something a little heavier, different etc. there is a japanese band called one ok rock, if you listen to them, that kind of rock / pop rock infused deliciousness hehe.

this was a lot of fun to answer 🫂

[tastyykpop]

𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒-Part 1

Pairings: yandere mafia leader!baekhyun x reader

Genre: suggestive, smut in later chapters, angst probs, fluff here and there but its very lowkey

《teaser next》

Warnings: kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, baeks kinda crazy, pet names, master kink, spanking (he literally spanks her once), choking (not in a kinky way), mentions of blood and murder

Word count: 4.9k

Tag list: @wooya1224 @geniusloey tell me if you want to be tagged!!

⚠️ this is purely fictional and not how I imagine baekhyun to actually act. If you feel like you're in a situation like this please run and report it. I do not support this behavior.

How long has it been? 3 or 5 days? Maybe even a week. You didnt know nor did you care. But why would you? You've gave up caring ever since your boyfriend, Sungho was murdered right in front of you, but you couldn't even see who the murderer was which drove you insane.

Tears and blood stained your pretty skin that night, so much agony and rage ran through your veins. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and scream until you passed out. But its been days since you've gotten a proper good night's sleep and it was eating you away ever so slowly. Everytime you closed your eyes, you remembered that dreadful day, Sungho's screams, the terror on his beautiful face, his lifeless bloody body. What did he do to deserve death? Why did it have to be him?

"Y/n! Y/n, its been four days please come out of your room!" It was the familiar voice of your mother and her knocking that brought you back to reality. She was almost begging, she hasn't seen you since you locked yourself away that night so you couldnt blame her for being worried, but you were fine. "I'm coming in."

She pushed your door open to see you cuddling your blanket with no emotion on your face. You looked at her with barely any care and rolled over, facing away from her.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, "You know y/n, we'll get to the bottom of this and have them put behind bars. It's gonna be ok-"

"No its not," you rasped from not using your voice in so long, "I dont even know what the murderer looked like, how can we put them behind bars!?" There was a small pause, she knew finding them wasnt likely which hurt you like hell, but she was still trying her best to comfort you.

"...At least come out of your room, everyone's worried." Your mother pleaded and though you really didnt want to move, you didnt want to upset or worry anyone any further so you got up.

With a smile, she did the same and led you downstairs to where you dad and sister were. They tensed when they saw you, but nonetheless smiled sadly, thanking the heavens you were okay.

"You look horrible..." your sister, Haeun, commented making you cringe. It wasnt like she was wrong, you spent four days not taking a shower and sitting in the same clothes so of course you looked bad, who wouldn't.

You excused yourself and went into the kitchen grabbing the first thing you saw, a bottle of vodka. Now it wasnt the best drink you could've had, but you decided to drink away your pain and suffering since you couldnt take the heart ache any longer.

"Shes doing it again." Your mother whispered but you heard her clear as day. "Shouldnt we stop her?"

"What for? She won't listen and she's traumatized. There's nothing much we could do right now." Your dad spoke with sadness watching as you took a quick swig from the substance.

Normally, you're not one to drink vodka but now it felt good, maybe too good. The more you drank it, the less pain you were in. It could last forever, you thought, but nothing lasts forever.

As you poured yourself another drink, you started wondering about Sungho again. If there were an afterlife, was he happy there? Would he be watching over you, making sure you were happy and healthy?If only it were that simple.

Though you and him were starting to drift off a bit, you still cared and loved him and now you're starting to take everything you guys went through for granted. Its what you get.

Standing up, you left the kitchen a bit dizzy from only drinking alcohol and having nothing else in your system and went back upstairs to take a shower. You decided after drinking, you wanted to go to the club you always go to. Normally, you didnt go on a Thursday, but you thought since you haven't been out in a while that it would be good to leave and breathe in the fresh air.

You took a fairly quick shower and your hair and makeup didnt take long either. Finally stopping to look at yourself in the mirror, your saw how pale and tired you were. Almost lifeless. You figured that once you finally have a good time, it would all go away and you'd be happy again.

"Where are you going?" You jumped at the voice of Haeun who appeared out of nowhere.

"To the club." You stated nonchalantly,

Haeun frowned, "Thats not a good idea, all you'll do is drink until you pass out. And there's always weirdos waiting for their turn with someone vulnerable like that."

A smile formed on your face trying to lighten up the mood a bit, "Ill be fine. I promise nothing bad will happen."

Haeun sighed, almost sounding like a bratty child who didn't get their way because she knew she wouldn't change your mind no matter how hard she tried. It sucked to have a stubborn sibling like yourself.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the sight of Baekhyuns scheduled flirting session. The girl was dressed in barely anything and he could tell she was probably Baekhyuns new toy for the night as he started getting handsy with her. But Sehun could see how Baekhyuns eyes weren't always looking at her. Instead, they sometimes searched passed the girl in hopes to find something else. He knew what, actually who he was searching for so he never asked or mentioned it.

He remembered you perfectly. Your calm and sleeping figure laying peacefully on your boyfriends chest. It was a shame he had to wake you up while he killed the man. And it was a shame to see such a pretty girl cry and scream with such fright in her eyes.

But Sehun didn't feel that bad, he did what he was supposed to do with only a little remorse.

"Sehun," Baekhyun called, the younger lifted his head waiting for him to continue, "Are you sure you didn't hurt my little toy the other day?"

Sehun scoffed, "If I did, I'd be dead by now, hyung."

The man chuckled sadistically , "She hasn't been here in a while," Baekhyun looked up from the girl and turned to Sehun, "Its only safe to ask."

"Hyung, I told you before that shes probably scared." Sehun face palmed when Baekhyun glared at him.

"A little red shouldnt effect someone that bad."

"I kil-" Sehun stopped what he was about to say, forgetting about the girl straddling Baekhyuns lap and cleared his throat, "Shes not used to stuff like that, Baek."

He didn't care about what Sehun said and ignored the youngests pointless blabbering, returning his attention back the girl only for a short amount of time until something caught his attention.

You walked in his club with confidence and beauty not giving any staring man the time of day and took your usual seat at the bar. After ordering your drink, you put your head in your arms and Baekhyun grinned.

Now was his chance, there's no way anyone will get in his way and there was no way he'd let this chance go.

"Stay here." Baekhyun said to Sehun, pushing the girl off him as he stood up. She almost pulled him back but he gave her such a terrifying death glare that made her stop.

"Theres no way youre actually gonna go talk to her...right?" Sehun questioned a bit shocked that Baekhyun was actually going to you after so long.

"Of course I am, I'll be back." With that, Baekhyun walked away from the two with only one thing on his mind: you.

He waltzed with a smirk of pure evil. What would he do? Only God knew, but he couldnt help himself when he saw your pretty face.

All eyes watched Baekhyun stop next to you, astonished that he went to talk to a girl and not the other way around, "Excuse me sweetheart," You popped your head up in the direction Baekhyun spoke, he took a seat next to you with an almost comforting smile when he saw your red cheeks, "But are you okay."

You wanted to spill everything that happened so bad because you needed to get it out, but you didnt know the man and neither did he know you so all you could do was nod, "Im fine."

Baekhyun knew behind your lying eyes was someone in pain and searching for a person to hold, but he couldnt do anything just yet and tried loosening you up to him so he could do what he wanted to do in the first place.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything." He smiled that charismatic smile of his, "I'm easy to talk to."

It was believable for the most part and you laughed a bit, the first laugh you actually had since that tragic night, "You seem like a sweet talker," you smirked causing Baekhyun to chuckle, "Whats the catch?"

"There is no catch, I just wanted to know if youre okay. And besides, I could tell you've been crying." He pointed to your tear stained cheeks and you mentally cursed yourself for unintentionally crying just a few moments ago.

"Oh.."

"Dont worry," He chuckled, "Whatever it is im sure you'll get over it." Baekhyun almost failed to hide his sinful smug as you frowned and covered it quickly with a swig of your drink.

But something inside was eating you away about what happened, you needed to let out your emotions and you started caring less and less that he was a stranger. Then again, what if you scared him away? What will happen next?

"At least tell me your name first," You blushed and shyly looked over at him who had an expecting glint in his eyes, "Then maybe ill tell you why I'm so upset."

Baekhyun stretched his hand out in front of him and you gently shook it. Damn he had a strong grip, "My names Byun Baekhyun and you?" He asked as if he didnt know who you were.

"Y/n L/n." You beamed, wondering why his name was so familiar. "So uh- my story..." Fumbling with the drink in your hands, you sighed heavily, "Long story short, my boyfriend was...murdered in front of me." You mumbled the last bit, but you didnt need to repeat yourself as Baekhyun already knew every single detail of that night thanks to Sehun.

Placing a soft hand on your shoulder he whispered with fake sympathy, "I understand now why you're so upset," Liar, "I feel terrible," No he doesn't.

He wiped a stray tear that had slipped down your cheeks and sent you a solemn look.

"I-its in the past i guess." You muttered, "I can't change a thing about it."

Damn right you couldnt. Even if there were some form of time travel, Baekhyun wouldn't dare let you try and change the past because that would mean you weren't entirely his. But since there isn't anything like that, Baekhyun has nothing to worry about except figuring out how to bring you back with him.

"Would you like a glass of water, y/n?" Baekhyun asked quickly as a thought popped into his head. You nodded your head slowly and Baekhyun called over the bartender. You werent really paying attention to him ordering the water and just let your mind slip to the sound of the music and looked around the room, tapping your fingers to the beat, but you stopped when you felt a pair of sharp eyes watching you from somewhere. You looked here and there before stopping on a man that was a about a few inches taller than Baekhyun. He had a eerie grin on his face when you noticed him, then he winked.

Chills went down your spine and you spun yourself around in your chair facing forwards causing Baekhyun to raise an eyebrow but he didnt question it.

"Heres the water." He handed the drink over and you thanked him before taking a sip. It tasted a bit weird but not all water tasted the same, though it was slightly dry for water.

"So tell me about yourself, y/n." Baekhyun checked his watch, all he needed was fifteen minutes then you were all his. "You seem like an interesting person." He looked up and smiled.

"Well," You thought about what was possibly interesting enough to tell him, "Im in my second year of college!" A smile crossed your lips.

"Oh really? Where do you go?" Baekhyun did seem interested to know some parts of your life. Somehow, you caught his attention like that. Thats why Sehun was a surprised when he finally made his move with you.

"Seoul of Performing Arts." You beamed. It was the happiest moment in your life when you got accepted and all of your family members, extended and close, celebrated your acceptance, "My boyfriend, Sungho, went there too."

He just about rolled his eyes but replaced it with a nod and a fake warm smile. If you knew him better, you'd know that smile was only him clenching his jaw in anger.

"How cute." The glint in his eyes proved he was lying and maybe you were too stupid or innocent to notice when you took another sip of water.

He watched and wished his plan could go faster, he was excited to have fun with his pretty little toy and he couldnt wait any longer.

"What about you?" You raised a brow. There was still something in your gut that made you feel like you knew him. And you still wondered why. Was he someone famous in the city? Maybe you've heard your friends mention him here and there? What was it about him that was so familiar?

"You'll know soon enough kitten." You frowned at the pet name as he pat your head like you were a small child yet you chose to ignore it.

It was a bit outlandish and made you more skeptical to know who he was.

"Thats not very reassuring, Baekhyun." Your quirked.

"Why tell you when I can just show you?" He leaned in, mocking your now pouty lips and chuckled, "The drugs should be setting in by now."

You lifted your head up with wide eyes, "Wait what?" Did you hear him right? Did he say what you thought he said? "What do you mean drugs!?" You said with awestruck as your heart raced in fear. You hoped to god he was just joking

The man before you smirked that unpleasant smirk of his, almost like the guy you saw before and you started panicking more, knowing he wasn't kidding. You tried to get up and run but you felt so woozy in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the sudden pain in your stomach that made you want to throw up. What was Baekhyuns plan? Why did he do this!? You thought at least one thing could go right tonight and maybe you could have fun, but you were wrong. So so wrong.

Trying to leave the club building, you knew you wouldn't make it but you still wanted to attempt an escape. It didn't have to be like this. Each step made it harder to move and your eyes started drooping. It was too late for you.

Already collapsed on the ground, people gasped and stared at your almost lifeless body as Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, "She tried, ill give her that." He walked over and crouched down next to you, moving the hair out of your pale face, "But not hard enough."

In an instant, your body was thrown over the man's shoulder. No one commented on anything that happened in fear that they could be next. It was impossible to say that they felt bad either, they were just glad it didn't happen to themselves.

"Sehun," He called out to the younger male but Sehun was already ahead of him, "You drive." He tossed him the keys.

With a nod they both walked out, you on Baekyuns shoulder as he took you to the expensive car. Gently, he placed you down in backseat, putting your seatbelt on for you, and climbed in on the other side to sit next to you.

"All this just for a girl." Sehun shook his head but needless to say he still smirked, "Youre loosing yourself, hyung." The car sparked and drove off into the night, no cops came searching. They knew better. And neither was there news of your kidnapping, the city stayed quiet.

Sure once your parents realized you were gone they'd start freaking out, but would they dare mess with Baekhyun? Would anyone actually try to mess with him? The mafia could easily answer that with an optimistic no. Remember, Baekhyun had power. No one is going to stop him.

"How long will she be out for?" Sehun asked.

Baekhyun shrugged, "Like an hour or two." He was excited for your life with him now, he knew you were finally his after a year of watching you come and go in his club, plus the small stalking he did when he wanted to see you, and he could only smile. No one can get in between him and your love anymore. "Shes gonna love it when she gets home!"

Sehun chuckled at Baekhyuns almost child like enthusiam and started, "She seems a bit innocent," he paused, looking back at your passed out body in the mirror before returning back to the road, "Normally women don't look off into space when someone's buying them a drink."

"Maybe she's a bit slow, but she wouldn't be here with me if that didn't happen."

The candle flickered in the dark as you awoke on a strange bed. You're head was pounding a bit as you tried looking around at your unfamiliar surroundings. What happened? Was your first thought and you started questioning where you were too. You knew something wasn't right but you couldn't understand why.

You tried getting up only to be locked in place by restraints on your wrists. They were only silk but they were tied tight enough to keep you still. Tilting your head in confusion, you heard foot steps coming towards the door and stopping for a mere few seconds before the door handle twisted.

You anticipated what was going to happen, you didnt even know what was going on in the first place, but you remembered the man standing in front of you.

"B-Baekhyun..?"

"Hey, kitten." That sinister smile was plastered on his face. You were sure it held more meanings then just one.

"Where a-am i?"

He almost cooed at your curiosity but composed himself, "At my mansion, where you'll be staying from now on."

There was a moment where you had to think, interestingly enough what Baekhyun said didnt even frighten you in the slightest, but then again you were high off the drug.

"C-Can you u-untie my hands please?" Your voice was soft and quiet, Baekhyun noticed you werent fully aware of your surroundings and complied, untying the silk from your wrists.

Your eyes were a little dilated when you looked at him. He was gorgeous, you had to give him that, though you wanted to remember why something wasn't sitting right with him. "Baekhyun?"

He looked up with a hum.

"Who...are y-you to me?" You squinted your eyes at the man who sat on the bed next to you, drawing small shapes on your thigh in a sort of loving manner.

"Your boyfriend, y/n."

Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

"I have a boyfriend..?" You muttered and asked more to yourself than to him, but he snickered, knowing way more than you did.

"Kitten you drank too much, go back to sleep." He lied and pushed your shoulders down so you were flat against the mattress.

"I-i did?" You whined when Baekhyun kissed your cheek. He always wanted to kiss more than your cheek, he couldnt bring himself to do that unless you were fully conscious for him.

"Yes baby girl, so get some sleep."

You grumbled, "I-Im not t-tired."

Baekhyun sighed, "Then what would the pretty girl like to do?"

You perked up on the mattress and grinned, "Im hungry!"

"Youre hungry?" Baekhyun repeated with a smile at your small childlike energy and you nodded back, "I can ask someone to make you something if you'd like."

"Please!"

He stood up, waiting for you to do the same but since you weren't very awake, you stumbled a bit.

Baekhyun settled with carrying you to the mansions kitchen, awing at your cuteness the whole time. It was a bit of a walk but luckily you were light.

Sitting you down, Baekhyun walked off, finding someone to cook for you. In your state, you felt a bit lonely, only knowing Baekhyun and not your surroundings, it made you feel a bit lost. It shocked you too how you didnt remember Baekhyun being your boyfriend, you started question the relationship between the two of you more.

"Princess i got you your favorite dish!" He walked in with a plate of jjajangmyeon and set it down in front of you.

Your mouth was watering and you were ready to dig in before wondering, "H-How do you know m-my favorite dish?"

Baekhyun hesitated at the question before clearing his throat and spoke with a raised brow, "We're dating y/n, why wouldn't I know what you like?"

"Uh yeah..right...." you dug in, your mind was starting to clear up a bit, not enough for you to fully remember anything though. But the more you thought, the more consciousness you regained.

Baekhyun watched as you gobbled down the meal with full satisfaction. This wouldn't be the first time he's watched you and neither would it be the last. He liked knowing you were eating well and were healthy so he was proud.

"I-im done!"

"Good girl. Now wait for me to come back so we can go to bed, okay?" You nodded and sat patiently as he took your plate and waited for your boyfriend to come back.

A few moments later, Baekhyun still was no where to be seen and your mind was slowly coming back, "N-no...wait." mumbling to yourself, you figured it out in just mere seconds and remembered that your boyfriend was brutally murdered four days ago in front of you. After four days you went to the bar to drink away the anguish and met someone, that someone was Byun Baekhyun. After thirty or so minutes of talking to him, you were drugged when you werent paying attention and passed out minutes later. Now you were here at Baekhyuns mansion, lied to and kidnapped. "Oh fuck."

The chair scraped against the floor and you wasted no time running to your hopeful freedom.

But you weren't a lucky person. Oh no you weren't. You were tossed and pushed against the door you were about to open by someone much bigger. He was the same guy you saw at the bar and his smirk was nothing different. Cynical and frightening.

The man stepped closer to you before putting one hand next to your head and whispered, "Are you playing a cat and mouse game with hyung now? How cute." Standing tall, he grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to where you came. You groaned and tried fighting back, but there was no use, he wasn't going to let go until after he practically threw you into Baekhyuns arms.

You were about to scream at Baekhyun and the no name man until Baekhyun covered your mouth with his hand, "Say something and you'll regret it." He growled into your ear as you shook and fought.

You hummed against him and tried biting his hand and punching his side, but he was like a man of steel and let it happen, only raising his brow like he wanted to hurt you, but didnt.

"Sehun, tell Chanyeol to lock all the doors for the next week or so 'til she learns how to behave."

The man nodded and ran off leaving you two alone. Fear was one way to describe it and the look Baekhyun gave you didnt help.

"Now kitten why would you go and do some shit like that? Are you asking to be punished?" He took his hand off your mouth to let you speak. Baekhyuns aura was much different than earlier. The nice guy was gone and you were left with a man who could kill you with just one look.

You stopped hitting him and screamed viciously, "Fuck you! You're fucking insane!"

"Now now princess," he pressed a hand to your throat, wrapping it tighter and tighter until you felt the oxygen leave your lungs, "It seems as if you're asking for a punishment."

"I-if you...s-so dare to-touch..any other p-part of my body, i-ill....kill you..." You whimpered, grabbing his wrist in attempts to pull him off but Baekhyun was relentless, keeping his grasp tight and painful.

"Stop struggling, you're only making this harder for yourself."

There were two options now, either listen to Baekhyun or fight until you passed out again.

"Princess." His voice held a warning tone and you hesitantly stopped and moments later he loosened his grip, you knew there would be marks by tomorrow, "We are going to bed now. Don't try to run, I have this place guarded up and if you do somehow make it out, be prepared because I will find you and beat your ass until you can't sit for a month. Understand?"

Your stomach did flips and not in a good way, you were scared, "Y-yes."

"Can you say 'yes master'?" His voice went higher as he said the last part to mimic yours.

You sighed, positive if you didnt comply then you'd be here all night, "Yes m-master..."

"Good girl." He kissed your cheek and you almost smacked him in disgust but tried not to act aggressive towards him. You wanted to leave, not be punished by whatever he had in mind. "Call me that from now on."

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you to the room you were just in, now that you took a good look, it was a pretty room. There was a red sofa against the wall and some other matching chairs plus a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall facing the bed. You had to admit, he had good taste but he was still insane.

As you sat down on the bed, Baekhyun reached into his draw to pull out a t-shirt and handed it to you with a wide smile, but you raised a brow at the fabric.

"No pants?" You asked.

Baekhyun chuckled, "What for?"

"Because of creeps like you." You grumbled and snatched the shirt that dangled in front of your face before storming off into the connected bathroom. Inside, you could hear Baekhyuns annoying laugh and ignored it, changing into the surprisingly very oversized shirt that went down to your mid thigh.

Taking the clothes you wore earlier, you went back into the room where Baekhyun laid peacefully on the bed, waiting for you.

He only had his boxers on which made you groan in anger and decided to not lay on the bed and instead on the couch near it.

"Princess, what are you doing?" He perched himself on his elbows, watching you throw your clothes on the ground then take the folded blanket on the couch and wrap yourself with it as you laid down.

"Going to sleep, master." You stated coldly with a glare.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Get over here." He said, voice low and laced with dominance but you remained still, closing your eyes and pretending as if you were asleep. "Y/n." He warned but there was no reply.

"Thats it." You heard him get up and march to where you laid. Baekhyun picked you up and you yelped at the sudden intrusion and were thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking his back got you nowhere as he threw you down on the bed, pinning both your hands down and hovered over you with a killing look, "Next time you don't listen, ill bend you over my knee."

"Youre all talk, no action." In an instant you were flipped over and a hand landed straight on your bare ass, leaving you shocked and mouth agape.

"Are you sure, kitten? Would you like me to spank you again?"

"N-no."

"No what?"

"N-no master.."

Baekhyun slowly let you go and laid beside you, still a bit irrated. "Now go to sleep."

You couldnt. Not with the lingering fear of what could happen next. Plus, not with his arm wrapped around your waist with a somewhat tight hold. You were just too scared to let your gaurd down. Why shouldn't you be scared though? What if he took advantage of your sleeping body and did something terrible.

There was no way you could get rest now. You could now count this as your fifth day without proper sleep.

[linhdorr]

LINH hi i love ur theme so much

ok so like my brother is joining like a summer camp at school for football and i was just thinking about that and about this friend i had who actually named me my name here 'kansha'. we like used to go to tuition together since grade 1 and we did till grade 5. like a bunch of other kids used to go w us too but we were the only constant ones and we were really good friends and he loved football and DC movies and this rock band im forgetting so much and he'd said he'd join a sports college in 11th and become a football player and make india proud and i used to say to him i'd be a journalist and cover his matches and make him famous.

and i was just like. thats such a full circle moment right. in a perfect world i'd be becoming a journalist and he'd be becoming a football player and his mother wouldn't be sick and i wouldn't place so much of my self worth on marks. i wonder if hes actually going to be a football player. i wonder if his brother is nicer to him now. i want to tell him ive been making a conscious effort to be nice to my brother because his brother wasnt nice to him and i used to get so mad because of it. my old best friend from that school who i still text sometimes told me shes friends with him now. i want to ask her if he remembers me. i wonder if/when she mentions talking to me he gets as jealous of her as i do. i wonder if he would say hi to me now. i wonder if he would make fun of me before tests for getting anxious like he used to.

im just like. we really are just the people we've met right. like we sometimes love people and things because of the people we've previously loved who loved those things. idk if that makes sense but i hope it does. point is. i was happy when i realised that my brother who goes to my old school likes football because it was kind of like oh my god. thats the same team my old friend played for.

idk im just like. talking for the heck of it now. i love u. hope ur so so so happy u deserve it so much ok and we all know that even if u dont believe it. i think of u when i listen to pancakes for dinner by lizzie mcapline because it reminds me of u. LOVE u

AHHH LONG ASKS MY BELIVED FROM MY BELOVED DOVE 🕊

so firstly I hope your brother has fun at his camp and tell him to carry bug spray and pee safe spray .....and you are soo right when you said that we are the people we have met....you're brother going to summer camp for football reminded you of your friend who also played foot ball and the promises that you made to each other......I will hope with all my heart that you both meet and he gets to be happy doing what he loves and you get to be happy and do what you love...

It's nice to go to sleep knowing that one day you might do the things you love and me happy and be around the people you are because really us humans do reflect the people we love and add on things that belong to us and try to build the best versions of ourselves ....maybe one day I'll make a film or write a book who knows .....maybe one day you'll be the head editor of some big magazine and have your own big office and maybe one day your friend will be able to become a star football player and make his people proud ....

I really really wish you wake up to your favorite weather , have seamless internet the whole day ....get love and kindness from the world because you deserve it .....I hope you find happiness and endless laughter and joy and I hope you can find hope in humanity and the earth....ILYSM !!!

[charbored]

I'd say my life's pretty average.

I am a [closeted to everyone irl] pan & demi trans guy. I live in Sweden and I go to school.

My family is me, mom, dad and my brother.

I yap. A LOT. Especially on here, Ill say almost anything that crosses my mind.

I like to watch things [mostly queer things], youtube, listen to music, be on tumblr, bike, draw, ect. I absolutely suck at drawing things without a reference tho lol.

[EDIT] I have played the violin for 7 ish years and started playing drums a half year ago.

I LOOVEE Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel and BRCU, on-and-off obsessing over Heartstopper sometimes, but rn my brain really wont let "It's a Sin" go, I just watched it yesterday so it'll probably stay on my mind for a while lol.

I have never been to therapy or anything like that [my parents would never let me, because "there's nothing WRONG with our sweet girl" -_-] but I have spent quite a lot of time researching mental health things because I feel like I need to know whats going on w me, I have ADHD, BPD, probably anxiety [i think i might be some kind of system too but idk if i really am]. I've previously been struggling with an ED but I know what to do about it now/how to recognize signs of it so i dont relapse.

Sooo, onto my ~✨️life story✨️~ [WARNING: YAP, VERY LONG YAPPING]

When I was in elementary school I was sort of a popular kid, but not in a good way, I was friends with 2 different groups who hated eachother to death and they kept pressuring me to pick a side, my 8-year old self didnt handle that so well lol but ngl it was kinda nice to be a little more carefree.

On to 10-year old me switching schools, and doing a complete 180. Quietest kid youve seen, doesn't talk to anyone, just hangs around, zero friends whatsoever. Noone talked to me, I felt very excluded. That was probably the time I started distracting myself with whatever I could to not let myself think about what was troubling me [still do that], and lying to my family and everyone around me that I'm fine, really [ALSO still do that].

I didn't have any friends for a few years after that so when this one guy wanted to be with me I was overjoyed, I saw him like a savior, like the only one that mattered. I became sort of friends with his whole friend group, but we didnt really know each other, I was mainly focused on TheGuy.

We were "best friends", but it was so exhausting. He created drama with everyone all the time, and I had to be on his side, no matter if it was wrong or right. He had to be my 1st priority, but I wasnt his. I ended up getting depressed [again, got depressed 1rst time when I was lonely] and developed an ED during a period when it was all just too much.

I got better and started hanging out more with other friends and kind of quickly realized that TheGuy was an asshole, I just didnt know it wasn't supposed to be like that :/. Me and him slowly drifted apart since he switched schools. He wouldnt stop talking shit about my one of my best friends so I talked to him less and less.

I ended up cutting him off for good when I found out he was homophobic, transphobic, racist and nazi 💀💀💀 he can go fuck himself

Now my core irl friend group is me and 3 friends that I love so fucking much I genuinely cant explain it and theyre all so amazing and kind and funny. I can be myself [almost. not really ready to tell them some stuff but im very sure theyd be nothing but supportive] around them and since that + acknowledging that I'm queer I've been starting to get a little more carefree again, not really giving a shit of what ppl think about me.

Im still scared to come out because the rest of the ppl in my grade are pretty homophobic/transphobic and the only "openly" queer kids have either switched schools or study from home :/ I'm not even sure my parents would support me, theyre both leftist and "supportive" but give of really mixed signals.

My mom will see me borrow Heartstopper books from the library and talk about how she heard about it from some fans online of *band that is supportive af/maybe probably queer*, and is on tumblr because of said band, looking only at posts from their very queer fanbase. She was with me when i bought a rainbow pride pin.

At the same time she WILL NOT say gay or pride or queer or whatever. And she will walk past me watching a cooking show with a famous trans girl and talk about her using he/him and masculine terms, talking only about whether or not she has done *gasp* t h e s u r g e r i e s -_-

I am kinda hopeful about it tho, especially today when I saw some new kid like 2 years younger or something at school today with pan pins on their bag, and a few others with rainbow ones. I wish Ill gain the courage to do that soon.

Im probably gonna go in theater or art in a year, I've been pretty much burnt out for a few years and wouldnt stand doing something I hate, but I have not came up with any good ideas on how to tell my family that yet.

This is really long Im sorry I kind of intended for it to be shorter but whatever lol lets leave it like this

Tagggsss [no pressure ofc :3]

@mlpandwinxfairypony @stagbel @spookky-aint-spooky @worldsbiggestnerd101

@mushroom-girl89 @oversensitiveandoffputting @crowclubkaz @snackypie

@ anyone who wants to do this <3

Another Picrew Tag game because we can't have too many!

Link

Use this Picrew and talk about your life! (Don't feel pressured to do either tho! <3)

So.. I have a pretty normal life to be frank,

Well as normal of a life a girl with dyslexia and ADHD can have in school, which is bullied, feeling guilt for not being able to do anything sometimes, feeling afraid to tell others about your diagnosis, etc..

I was lucky enough to get a diagnosis, but I do fit most majorities where I'm from, I'm Asian (Indian, but I feel afraid to say that because people may confuse me for being Amarican-Indian/Native American), and Cis, and middle / upper class.

[My mum's a Psychologist and Dad's a founder of a small business that sells diamonds to jewelers]

I'm unsure if I have all the help I need, but I'm mostly good! Still struggle with doing anything related to school/work/whatever at home lol.

I've not told anyone other than my mum about my sexuality, but I don't really need to as I'm young enough to not have others wondering about why I've not tried dating yet, and I usually show attraction to men (Tho questioning if I just had a Lesbian phase of if I'm M-Spec, unsure if i ID as Heteroqueer or Bi), tho there was a rumor in my school that I was lesbian since I was when I was like ~10, and I didn't bother refuting it when I became older

I've recently developed a Hyperfixation on Helluva Boss, since I was forced by my YT recomendation page to learn about Hazbin Hotel, and I wanted to learn about the free spinoff I knew I could watch. Then promptly became obsessed.

Thankfully despite being bullied when I was younger, I still love myself, although when my teachers did say 'They were wrong but you actually need to work on X' because they didn't know I was Neurodivergent, it did affect my self confidence a bit, so now I take medication to help with my ADHD..

I honestly don't remember what past me wanted me to write, so sorry past me if I forgot to type anything you wanted me too

So ya, sorry for yapping, you don't have to lol, just like talking about my life, especially since this one is the first of the chain, sorry if it's a bother

@blitzosicedcoffee @blitzvo @samualjennings @amethystoceandespiser @blitzs-largest-horsiest-dildo @speakofthedebbie @toomuchdivergentformyneuro @imbatman27 and anyone else who wants to join!

(Update: Fixed tags)

[myheroaizawashota]

I'd totally die if you could write aizawa x reader something really wholesome. Like the reader confessing their love and saying that he is a good man And it ending in cuddles and just some fluff stuff. (Sorry if it's not very specific/sucks)

[Ugh I actually LIVE for this kind of thing so, aha no shame in asking for it lol. Honestly just thinking about writing this one made me tear up and gag becusse it’s disgusting how much love I can actually write about this man...(plus I think sometimes aizawa needs to hear these things from time to time) ]

Your heart pounded in your chest as the heels of your shoes clicked with each step you took down the halls of U.A. Normally you didn’t feel such a jittering in your chest when walking around the building, but today was a little different. This would be the first time since the USJ incident you’d be seeing Aizawa. It was crazy to think that stubborn emotionally detached grump of a man made your heart accelerate this much just in anticipation. Shouta wasn’t typically the kind of man one warmed up to. He was distant and the brunt force of his words could be taken as some by vicious and cruel, even uncaring....but you saw another man behind that facade. You knew there was a caring, more kind nature to him that not many were blessed with the knowledge of.

That’s why when you had heard about the attack on the USJ, it broke your heart to pieces to know what had gone down. The more in-depth details of the incident had been kept on low and low as per requested by the principal, but from the details you had gathered from your fellow colleagues Aizawa among was one of the few severely hurt. You didn’t know much of his condition, all you knew was that he had went down fighting for the safety of his students.

You could just remember when Yamada first told you the details of the fight. Your body stood there numb as a laugh shook through your chest. Though you were laughing, tears had began to gush from your the ducts of your eyes, the laughter becoming sobs as your viciously rubbed the ball of your palm into your eyes “that sounds like Shouta...” You couldn’t hold yourself together in that moment. While you wanted to be mad and upset, your body’s natural reflex was to laugh. As much as the man would complain about his students, and complain about their irrational tendencies and over enthusiastic voices, you knew he cared for them as if they were his own children.

You shook your head, clearing the thought from your mind as approached closer to his class room. You had texted him earlier to make sure it was fine you were stopping by. You knew being out for a day or two after the incident really pushed his lesson plans back a bit, and you didn’t want to get in the way and cause any further detrimental effects on his students learning. Even though he has responded with a very ambiguous consent, you still couldn’t help but maybe think you should just come back another time. What did you really plan to say to the man? Sorry you got your ass kicked, but I’m glad your okay.

You stopped in front of the door of classroom 1-A hand hovering on the door knob as you debated over weither or not knock first. Your brain always tended to go a bit goofy when you were around Shouta...it was sad to say the least. Yamada would constantly jab jokes at the soft spots you held for the solemn teacher of the first year hero students. Often times he’d just chant very juvenile things whenever Aizawa was in an ears shot, though for Yamada, an ears shot could be half way across the building. “Y/LN AND AIZAWA SITTING IN A TREE-“ “if you so much as finish that sentence I swear your a dead man walking” “Oooooh relax, im just joshing you around y/n! Besides killing me doesn’t seem very plus ultra of you.”

It wasnt just apparent to Yamada however, apparent most of the staff knew you held an unusual fondness for Aizawa. Some thought it was sweet you were able to find something to love about the other, most thought you were just wasting your time. It was sad just how obvious you were about your feelings and yet it seemed as if the other still couldn’t pick up on your feelings. With a trembling hand, you took a step back from the door hoping to escape unnoticed...but that ship was soon to sail. As you moved to turn around, your heart clenched as you heard his voice on the other side of the door, almost sounding agitated with your indecisiveness. “Are you coming in or not? When you said you’d stop by I didn’t think it would be just to stare at my door.”

Wildly your heart began to thrash around your chest in panic as you tried to formulate a response, any response, though the best you could muster up was the strength to crack the door open. With a heavy chest you pushed the door just enough to slither into the room, eyes freezing as you fixated on his body....you’d never seen him look so...vulnerable. You couldn’t help when the tears began to freely stream down your cheeks as you moved closer into the room. “Aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes, huh?” You couldn’t help the soft smile that tugged at the corners of your lips as your eyes made contact with his body. You weren’t happy to see him like this, not in the slightest, but for some reason you couldn’t help but smile. Maybe it was the knowledge of seeing him alive or maybe the fact that you always smiled when you were anxious, and especially when you were around him.

The sound of your tears settled in the under tones of your voice, but if anyone could pick up on them, of course it would have to be him. “Why are you crying?” He asked in his typically monotone voice, you immediately becoming self conscious of your actions.

Frantically your hands began to wipe at your face sniffling softly as you gave a nervous laugh “how do you know if I’m crying or not you jerk...you can’t even see my face”

His body stiffened in his chair, and simultaneously you began to feel worse. “I can hear it in your voice y/n...plus I can still see past my bandages. It wouldn’t be very practical if I couldn’t now would it...”

You couldn’t help but snort after his retort, you moving closer to your friend sitting yourself on the edge of his desk. “I’m sorry...it’s just...when i was told what happened, I didn’t think to prepare myself to see you in this bad of shape. I knew the injuries you sustained were pretty bad but....” you paused your hand trembling as you moved to push the bangs that fell in his face just far enough back to clear the view of his eyes . “I-I didn’t think it’d be this bad” you whimper the tears once more falling. The smile you’d been holding onto dropped at the same time your hand did, your body shaking as you cried. The sight of him like this hurt your heart and you couldn’t bare to look at him.

This time, it wasn’t as subtle that you were crying. He may not have shown it but most certainly he didn’t care to hear you in so much agony. “I asked you before and you didn’t answer me, I’m going to ask you again. This time please answer me.” His tone was a bit more pressing, the edge in it making you flinch backwards. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you, it was just...he sounded so aggravated with you, and that wasn’t what you wanted at all. “Why are you crying Y/N”

It took a minute for you to answer the question...honestly you didn’t know how to at first. The only thing you could think to do was ramble, ramble endlessly and quickly. “B-because...I was so worried for you Shouta! When Yamada told me what happened, I just couldn’t help myself. I cried uncontrollably like a giant toddler... I was so scared that the last time i saw you would be the last time i saw you.” Your words were coming out uneven as you frantically sobbed, your body shaking. “You’re always so quick to think logically in every situation, but how come in the one situation you should have been the most logical about, you decided to act like a giant bone head!”

Aizawa was taken aback by your tone, his body language changing as he listened to you sob. If you could only see his face under those bandages you’d see the grimace spreading across his lips. It pained him to see you so upset....he wanted to interject but before he could you were already back to spouting nonsense his way. “I know you had students to defend and i know you’re not the type of person to just stand by when the stakes are high, but you could have died out there! And I wouldn’t have been able to tell you any of the things I’ve been so afraid to say!” You your sobs mixing in with laughter. “I w-wouldn’t have gotten the chance to tell you how much you infuriate me sometimes when you act like you don’t know I care about you! I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to tell you that I adore the way your lips pull into a pout when you fall asleep while your grading papers in the lounge! I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to tell you that I love the feeling I get when I’m standing next to you and you casually let your pinky brush against mine and act like it was an accident, even though I swear every time you do it I can see you smiling.”

You were a nonstop mechine of tears and nonsense in this moment. The whole reason you were so devistaed by the entire thing was because you loved this man, and the thought of your entire world being ripped away from you without giving you the chance to even let him know he was your world ate away at you. You worked to steady your breathing as you moved to rub your face into your elbow, also attempting to muffle the sobs that were coming out far to quickly for you to stop. “I-it’s selfish of me to worry about all the things I wouldn’t have been able to say to you over the safety of your students, but what was I going to do if you would have died out there before I was able to tell you how much I love you Shouta.”

There was a silence in the air as you both sat there. Neither of you knew what to say in this moment and it was evident. You just sat there mortified, that this was how you finally confessed your feelings to the other, and that he had no response towards any of it. Finally it came time that one of you broke the thick silence that settled between you two. “You talk to much...” shouta responded standing to his feet. Your heart broken into pieces as he said those four words, crushing the hopes that their would be just a minor bit of reciprocation to your feelings. Your head hung as you whimpered out the remainder of your tears. “I was going to say all of that in under five words.” He hummed.

Your head whipped around, watching as the other gently wiggled his arm free of their sling, you cringing as he hissed out in pain. “What are you doing you silly man? You’re going to hurt yourself...” you sniffled.

With a low grunt his arm dangled, he struggling to rest it against yours. You couldn’t see his hands through the casts, but you knew exactly what he was doing. The edge of his bandages gently carcasses your pinky, as he let out a sigh. It was different then most of his other sighs, this one sounded relieved. Rubbing your eyes you watched as he let his head rest against yours, nuzzling himself as close as he could without causing himself any more physical pain. “I guess since you went first I’ll have to sum this up in under six words then...I love you too y/n.”

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #9 !! 💗💐🎀

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ a summary of july 2022! moving into august ☀️✨🌷 ⊹ɞ

hellwo diary ( ^ω^ ) !!! is been 🐝 such a long time since im write… 📝 but a lot hav happen, good n bad ): is figure i should tell u dwiary, cos i wanna tell u all my progress despite high n low. so here i go, diary! ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) 💕

tw vent // vent regression // sorta big talk abt relationships + tw trauma

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

so diary, how u doin love? 💗 is been long time since im wrote but im figure that im want to tackle my ocd n get back into writing diary log again. becos my ocd make me feel like doing this is a chore, even though i do really really like writing da logs (is just getting started and having da motivates dats difficult )): ) /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

im havent wrote a diary logs sinc june, so m should talks about my summer vacation 🏖 n how is been so far, yes?! :3 yes.

right now im listening to dance of the moonlight jellies from stardew valley cos dat soundtrack reallllyyy help w sleepins. :D it makin me all smol n sleepy jus by listening to it hehe >_< my eyes half shut while writing this eeek

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

so les go back in time. da last time dat i wrote a diary log was june 14th, n m finish school'd at june 26th! i tink. only ting is, im had a few extra days becos >_< im really struggle 2 finish my art projects 🎨 . in dat time, i half-way finished painting my clay sculpture and finished my ferris wheel glass mosaic. the art projeckt im da proud of da most however, is my assemblage that i finished back in april or may ish. 🖌

---- the talk of my assemblage sculpture involves tw: toxicity, abuse, punching bag/blame-shift, break ups ----

my idea for my assemblage was that id make it out of book pages, tissue paper, newspaper, ribbons, and construction paper, along with my poems.

the assemblage is in the shape of a bouquet, and i made paper roses with the book pages from thrifted hardcover books. (tw: trauma) the two hardcover books i picked were second life by s.j watson, and the tale of the body thief by anne rice. the reason why i chose both of those books was I. because of the cool covers! and II. because of the titles. second life made sense to me when i thought more and more about who the bouquet was dedicated to, and the tale of the body thief has a more metaphorical sense of how i felt.

when talking with him, it was a long distance relationship. offline, id have a different, reserved life, a quiet individual, shy; but filled with knowledge. online, when i talked to him, id become bubbly, feisty, expressive, i wasnt shy. and in another sense, a second life; is a beginning, a new, and rebirth. have you ever wanted to restart your life and perhaps be a different person? i planned to move to where he lived and start a new there. to have a chance to re-meet myself.

the title 'the tale of the body thief' is how i sort of felt, in that relationship. eye-candy. a pretty figure. when i left, it was like a part of me left with him; one that i'd never redeem or get back, and partly, what i'm still trying to find. when people tear you down so much, its hard to look at certain parts of your body, appearance of personality and not have their perspective stained on it.

i was beautiful but i was tainted. and he in my eyes, would always stay as beautiful as possible. nothing could ever rupture his beauty or change how id think, because in my eyes, he was mine and he was the one for me. despite all the compromising i had to do, the pain i went through and the tears i shed, back then, i whole-heartedly believed that he would be my end game.

nevertheless, i was glad that my mind was changed from his actions. when he took out his anger on me for something that wasn't my fault, (such as him using a slur he couldn't reclaim and then, saying that the joke was that people take things 'out of context' ; as in me, taking what he said and 'switching it up',) and blamed it on me, and said that i was being overly-sensitive, i knew it was time to go. it's like when you use to love someone for their sensitivity, but then that same vulnerability and emotional-touch becomes something you fall out of love with, and thats what i figured with him. his rash and passive-aggressive reactions to me showed that he wasn't good intentioned, or at least, as much as he appeared to be, and i hated being a punching bag. i always spoke that being a punching bag was the one thing i hated the most, and he just took out his pain on me. would you take out pain on someone you loved? no, you wouldn't. why would you ever want to do that?

i was glad that i stood up for myself and tried to shed some light on his pain while still keeping my ground, to drop him and leave him in the dust. however, throughout july, i definitely talked to him a few times because i thought that he would be the only one comfortable about my age-regression. this definitely wasn't a good mix because i got ticked by 7 things he did and somethings he said about my stuffie (how frickin' dare u.), and it was a impulsive decision to try and stop talking to him once i realized that these 'amends' that he spoke of weren't in my favour. they weren't catered to me as i wished. so he's out of my life completely now, and definitely for the better.

quite simply, it wasn't as picture perfect in my mind as i wanted it to be. there were times in july where big me would walk outside late at night on the road, recklessly, and in the brink of tears, trying to call somebody --- him --- in hopes that he'd answer and listen to me vent. that ended quite quickly, but ill never forget screaming, laying down at the park's field, staring at the sky, looking at all of the pretty, twinkling stars and and crying, revealing to him traumas that i now, deeply regret telling, as i dont think he should've known those things. i think that someone else who's much more emotionally mature and supportive, would be someone to turn to. someone i trusted.

i named the assemblage 'everything i didn't say', because the poems revealed my perspective. how it felt in my eyes to be mistreated. when he was apologising profusely to me, we talked about his perspective a lot, and he revealed his one conflict ; which was him being jealous of me. this was.. absolutely crazy to me. though i understood it. he however, didn't understand my side. didn't see what it felt, really, in my words, to be at the wraith of his venom.

the assemblage is a bouquet because bouquets can be given for - almost any occasion. a sympathy gift, a romantic gesture, a platonic bit of sweetness, something you give to your mother or father or anyone, bouquets are the way to go. mine is a departure gift. my last wits and fights.

its a refreshing start to have him completely out of my life. <3

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here are some notable things that happened during + after june 14th! ✨

june 14th: i found a hello kitty greeting card at the bwookstore and bought m'self a custom starbucks drink !!

june 16th: i wore one of my faveeee outfits, my white corsety top n my black aerie leggings, and a funny ting happen in art class. basickly, da ceiling cavin' in cos of a plumbing leak but is was super funny n gross at da same time cos ewwieeee plumbing but funni have put down garbage bin on the tables n stuff. m also had a not so good lunch dat day but i gots photo of it n it look sorta funny. 3 granola bar, a fibre one and oreos cos i forgo pack.

june 18th: m got reeces pieces blizzard from dq!! omnumnum :3, i made a pancake moodboooarrd 2!

june 19th: i made maself pancake at 10pm n it was supa dupa delicious, m did my makeup for eyes n really felt suppa pwretty !

june 20th: m had yummy dinner of chickin nugget w mayo (m fave kind of sauce) n a big ol salad dat was deliciousss. m also made letters to all of my internship employees becos im was departing.

june 21st: last day o' school. m wore my black aerie legging, black crop tee n brough a lil baggie w da letters in dem. on june 21st m also bought maself this beauuutwiful pink dress dat made me feel soooo confident n prwetty in.

june 23rd: instructional support day for ma school, did schoolworks of m art stuff. talked to a classmate who im din think would talk 2 me >_< june 23rd m also went to supermarket n bought a bunnnch of pink stuff!! :D n yum yum yummy swiss roll mmm.

june 24th: m last day of doing instructionals!!! school o' out!!!

june 26th: wasnt feelin so good m went on walk )): saw pretty neighbourhood doe!!! ((:

june 29th: went to da mall allllll by meself n felt so pretty n so confident n so happy on my own. <3 m got compliment crazy by strangers but felt so in my own skin ^-^. m went on bus home 2!!!

july 2nd: m had yummy chicken nugget n a big mac for dinner whic is kindaaa rare so i was really happi :D m also fall alseepi on couch w my cat roscoe <3

july 8th: went to oceans grocery store! got lots o delicious snackies <3 like these fish chocolate wafer thingys mmm, basically a wafer in da shape of a fish w like aero ish chocolate inside, n it was only $1.5 ish!!

july 11th ?: talked to one friend briefly cos i had an all-nighter n they did too hehe

july 12th: completely glowed up, did leg workout, went for a morning walk, yoga, n then later in the day m took a lottta photos of m w my bear blacky :D lov him.

july 17th: went to east side marios w my sister n mom for my sisters grad!

july 19th: my online package came in!!! for all my pink stuff :O m got a pink themeed lanyard w a cute gold heart metal keychain thingy, a turtleneck white ruched hello kitty dress, press on nails, a white lace tank top, two new phone cases, some stuffs for my makeup, 2 makeup bags (one clear w gold zipper n the other pink!!!) a pink scrunchie n pink socks, necklaces n rings, and a pink cosmetic mirror to attach to my lanyard! i tink around dis time m' also met a new friend (Y) n he was really nice n comforting n he made me feel cared for! from july 19 ish to now, m had hungout w him a lil bit <3 but day later felt anxious on whether first new friend (Y) hated me T_T due to m social anxiety

july 22: went to chatime for some ywummy boba twee! m got my faveee drink. dis my go-to, is the matcha strawberry latte with grass jelly, 100% sugar, normal ice n a size regular <3 yum yum yum! wuv it. m also watched light year w ma one friend (Y) n he din mind dat i had blankie or dat i thought light year was originally lightning mcqueen hehe, he comfort me when i started crying cos stuff in the movie, n he headpat m' n we took da ''to infinity beyond'' tingy n do it now wheneve we say bye bye to each-other! <3

july 25th: went 2 grocery storeee for m smol snackrun for chippies n popcorn cos popcorn m' faveeee n saw my middle school teacher <_&lt; ahhhhhh eek

july 27th: felt really unappreciated in my home ))): was a really sad day w anxiety.

july 29th: got shawarma take out n it was wooohh DELICIOUS!!! om nom nom! but very same night m felt very sad ))):

july 30th - 31st: felt really sad again ): so went to childhood playground 4 primary school n sat on benches n sang for a lil bit

from august 1st to august 8th? 'm had my moon n it was very stressful and anxiety inducing ):

august 5th: m went to hangout w my friend, went kinda weird becos one friend wasnt 'really' dere, but da other friend was so indulged in conversation w/ me and it made me feel so included and happy! we went to this pho place, chatime (i din get boba dis time doe), value village and this antique place w/ a bunch of cool stuffs. m got this pink y2k heart baby tee from the kid section and it felt amazing to buy it! i also felt like a barbie wearing my whole pink outfit n i got a bunch of compliments!

august 6th: had a super pretty outfit 4 the symnpthony thing i going to, m was wearing this really pretty white corset-y top, black slack/trousers (like aritiza agency pant), my nude heels, n a black blazer!!! m loved the symphony n got tons of nightlife skyscraper/building photos on the way home n was really happy n had lots of fun, and also had maccas! 'm had junior chicken ^_^

august 7th: went on a snack run w my sister n bought sum bananas

'm tink that this diary log is getting reallllyy long omg, but 'm gonna write my aug 10, 11, and 12th log! my summer has been.. w a lot of up and down tbh S: n quite lonely, but now dat im got new friends, m began to talk n open up to old friends again in hopes to try and conquer my ocd (cos it makes it extra difficult w friendships )): rocd wise) if u spent ur time rweading all of dis, thank u so muchh. <3 please hav good rest of ur day or night or aftanoon! :D

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx

[jamiedodgerart]

if you're happy to tell us, i'd love to head more about ur inquisitor :00!! his debates with dorian sound fun

:DDD yeah sure! soz this is late

pica’s 1/6 of an inch tall

(im kidding. his name was originally a pun, but not a typography one - he’s a rehash of an old oc i had way back in the day, who was based off a magpie. hes actually on the short side for a dwarf, i want to say around 4′3″)

he was a lyrium smuggler before the inquisition, and specifically was the front man who sold it. he’s a champion liar and man of many faces, and knows how to disappear in plain sight (which is easy if you’re a dwarf and most law enforcement on the surface are humans. to a human guard dwarves all look the same and theyre too short to really get a good look at their faces). he had a pretty transient lifestyle- he didn’t get tied down, didn’t get too attached to anyone or anything, had pretty few posessions. he was 26 (or the dwarf equivalent of 26. hows dwarf aging work in dragon age anyway) when the carta got him to spy at the conclave, and you know how that went

look ok. the first half of his career as inquisitor was just. wingin’ it. no one really knew what the fuck he was supposed to be doing, least of all him, so he just pretended he knew what he was doing till, i wanna say the end of into the abyss. after talking to mal hawke some he learned that, hey, everyone’s always winging it, and also that his decisions kind of really mattered. (and that those decisions he makes can. kill people) for the first time in his life, he realizes hes actually important, and what he does changes things on the large scale

so after that, he got to thinking. the world kinda sucks. and it sucked before the war. and the leaders of thedas are really not doing all that much about it, except trying to kick each other in the nuts while their enemies are weak and completely forgetting that politics Cannot Survive as a practice if theres no farmers able to make food for diplomats to eat. so, orlais, if your farmland is all gunched up with battlefields, then you need to fix that, don’t you. but the inquisition is really, really good at providing stability! it’s good at establishing patrols, safe trade routes, providing local employment, and is a fairly reliable consumer of local goods. so pica capitalized on that, and quietly spread inquisition presence all over southern thedas. this led to immense inquisition influence, with very little fanfare.

you can guess why the rulers of thedas tried to get rid of him as soon after corypheus was taken care of as possible. they branded him a tyrant and like. ok. they werent like. super far off. bc at this point he was kinda trying to see how much of the world he could take over before anyone noticed/tried to stop him and also figured he could do like, a way better job at leading it than the current rulers could. and he wasnt beholden to anyone either (not like empress celene! elected to her throne by… uhhhhhhhhhhh divine providence or something. i mean shes doing an ok job but like i didnt vote for her) so if he really really wanted to he could go full dragon reborn

ive got off topic but point is he figures humans have had their go and they fucked it up, so it’s a dwarf’s turn and he’s going to put the world back together himself. (ps hey bioware can we have some dwarf stuff in the next game. im js. weve had a whole load of elf nonsense and its nice and all but dwarfs had a cool ancient society too yknow)

after trespasser he elects to keep the inquisition around, because he worked hard to make this glue keeping the bits of thedas stuck together and he’ll be damned if he’ll let solarse and his minions screw it up. but it gets nerfed heavily and hes pissed about it

he romanced cassandra! i really like their relationship- they look to each other for moral guidance. pica knows he can get flighty and relies on her to keep him in line, and always asks her for advice when he sees her in the courtyard. he usually doesn’t follow it but he feels it’s important to have her perspective on things

they disagree on a lot of stuff (like he made celene and briala co-leaders but she was in favor of gaspard) but he trusts her judgement, and supported her in becoming the divine

he’s a little weird about religion, specifically relating to the stone. the surfacer part of him that hates caves is like pff hippie garbage, but the bit that’s generations old and wants to belong to a larger whole of a culture is Super Into It. cole said he felt the stone’s presence around pica one time and externally he didnt react but internally he was yelling WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK I LIVED IN SUCH PEACEFUL IGNORANCE I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAAAAAT and after the mythal thing hes like fuck believe what you want. whatever floats your boat. we live in a world where nugs have little people hands so if it comforts you to know a god did that then live your truth

re mages he figures theres a way better way for them to fit into society than the circle. its dumb. they can LIFT THINGS WITH THEIR MINDS. USE THAT FOR BUILDING. they can HEAL WOUNDS WITH THEIR MINDS. THEY CAN TALK TO SPIRITS AND SHIT THEY CAN PROBABLY FLY WHY ARENT WE USING THIS THEY’RE WASTED IN TOWERS LEARNING TO SHOOT FIREBALLS OR WHATEVER people who fear magic are cowards. chantry more like sham-try. 

hes big on research and development. he sent samson to dagna for research and in the au where mal lives he sent anders to her too. cos. like. dude COEXISTS WITH A SPIRIT. thats cool as SHIT how does it WORK. 

(im gonna make a post abt the mal lives au soon. its good)

hes largely responsible but he has also impulse bought at least three stuffed dragons. also, if the textiles technology were available, hed have dragon jammies. it’s the little things in life.

he collects notes he’s found talking about him and hangs them up by his desk. his favorite is the one samson wrote calling him a damnable rogue. he says hes doing things right, if he’s making people mad

hes trans! im not sure how thatd be regarded in dwarf society, in undergrounders i doubt it’d be very acceptable given their emphasis on reproduction, but house cadash has been on the surface for generations and has probably adopted more liberal views on lgbt stuff. either way hes not very open about it, and it’s really easy to pass when he’s around humans (i get the feeling dwarves and humans look for different things, when they’re trying to guess gender. for example hes got some beard scrub, which in human terms means male but in dwarven terms probably either means very young male or unkempt female) (the added implication to this is that varric might keep his beard to stubble so he looks younger) he met krem and had an instant Trans Solidarity moment, which also comes with the Trans Fear that the person Knows that you’re trans and could out you. it’s a weird kind of trust and for me feels like that one performance art piece with the people holding the bow and arrow. anyway hes cool w krem but doesnt talk to him all that much. theyve got pretty different interests.

his best friends are probs cole and dorian! he’s very curious, and likes to hear different perspectives on things. he and dorian often play chess and discuss all sorts of stuff. they end up yelling a lot because they both want to talk but the other started saying something before they were done with their point, which they started saying before the other was done with their point, and so on. he doesnt get very far in the slavery argument until hawke starts chillin at skyhold more regularly and can adequately school him on the state of tevinter slavery (fuck i gotta make a post about that. mal’s had a lot of development since i last talked about him)

he listens very seriously to cole’s observations. he can really appreciate the input of someone who watches so much more than speaks, and heartily supported his ventures in becoming more human.

he also gets along very well with josephine and likes to trick her into taking days off. hes also always down to chat w dagna and scout harding! and varric, of course. it’s always nice to talk to someone without having to crane his neck up at them all the time

(this is the reason he doesnt usually spend time w bull. hes just too tall and its uncomfortable knowing your face is at your friend’s dick height while ur trying to discuss battle strategy)

uhh trivia, at one point i thought i’d fucked up cassandra’s romance by not flirting with her enough so i meant to go for dorian’s instead, bc while i had wanted to romance cass since uhh i dunno one of my mutuals first reblogged a picture of her, i underestimated how charming and cool of a guy dorian ended up being. so in canon i say pica had a crush on both of them for a little while

its late and i think i got mostly everything so enjooooooy

as a parting gift, this is him