#as is the point of this series this fic haunts m dreams
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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 2 years ago
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What Spider Socorro Fic is Melissa Falling Asleep Thinking About? Episode 3:
Today we have another banger I have mentioned before, but last chapter ended on a cliff hanger so it’s living with me far into the night; it’s 12:26am and I have work tomorrow. So let’s talk about Nísoaia by @dinas-bracelet . Listen I’m trying to live my day to day life reading my little Spider fics regardless of my normal fanfic quality standards. But this one not only gaslit me by tricking me into thinking I was just reading a fun little Jeytiri fic and then springing Spider adopted as a baby into the family on me like a dark villain, but I am obsessed with the little moments lingered on in this fic. This fic is mainly Jeytiri but it’s so good guys okay. Most post Avatar (2009) ones I’ve read have skimmed through stuff, but the focus on rebuilding, Jake and Neytiri’s deep bond and the struggles they’re going through, and the kids being so small and so cute means so much to meeee. I am deeply obsessed with all side ocs and Jake having Omaticaya friends and people to hang with, and I cry a little every time baby Neteyam and Spider are having their baby talk conversations that’s just not real words but they’re both like yes of course go on. I just love them sm, let Spider be Neteyam’s older sibling buddy and take some of his burden 2023. I adore the moment with the elder Na’vi women as such foreboding amongst the happiness, and I’m obsessed with any fic that gives me any Mo’at at all but especially Mo’at and Spider. Anyways this is getting long! But I need the next chapter I need to know what happens!! I will die at Jake and Neytiri making Jake’s songcord!! As well!!!
Fair warning there is smut in this fic, if that is not ur taste :)
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allwaswell16 · 1 month ago
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All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in Sept 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup [ @1dmonthlyficroundup ] which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!
Fanfictional Podcast #66 |  ko-fi | fic recs
- Louis / Harry -
🩵 Better is the End by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
(M, 26k, Greek mythology) Louis stands at the entrance to the labyrinth, and knows that this is the end. No one escapes from the labyrinth. No one can defeat the monster inside and make it back out alive.
🩵 Sugar, Sugar by @parmahamlarrie
(E, 25k, sugar daddy Louis) Meeting your soulmate was the most joyous event of one’s life… or at least, it’s supposed to be. Harry, in all of his 25 year old wisdom, was suspicious of the role fate plays in everyone's lives. He'd rather focus his time dating older men he meets off of a sugar baby website.
🩵 Break (Up)? Coming Right Up! by The_Halcyonic_Lachesist / @chai-hat-tea
(M, 14k, breakup) Louis promised Harry that they would always be together, but when Harry's dreams get in the way, will Louis be able to keep his word?
🩵 Like A Miracle by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel
(M, 12k, established relationship) Louis thinks he finally knows what it feels like to be truly nervous now that he has one very important question to ask his boyfriend. Part 4 of Marcel series
🩵 touch me baby, put your lips on mine by @insightfulinsomniac
(E, 12k, pwp) the soft and sweet sex party fic with a dash of dom/sub dynamics and a LOT of public sex.
🩵 Smells Like TEAM Spirit by @persephoneflouwers
(NR, 10k, high school) Punk Louis and quarterback Harry have been secretly dating for years. Feeling overwhelmed by his commitments, Harry suggests a short break, fearing he can't give Louis enough time. As Louis reflects on his vulnerabilities, Harry struggles on the field without him.
🩵 This Ain't Red Wine by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28
(E, 9k, supernatural) the one where Human Louis accidentally finds himself at a Vampire only party which actually turns out to maybe not be the worst thing
🩵 Haunting Beauty by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou
(G, 6k, ghost Louis) It’s 1988. Harry has just finished his first year of teaching English and looks forward to a relaxed break. Louis is a poltergeist and has different plans for Harry’s summer.
🩵 Good-Old Fashioned Lover Boy by not_fitzwilliam / @not-fitzwilliam-darcy
(NR, 5k, omegaverse) When a miscalculated decision leads to an accidental courtship with the sweetest, most gentle alpha, Harry is torn between breaking the alpha's heart and telling the truth. 
🩵 we could be enough by @hellolovers13
(M, 5k, omegaverse) Louis never imagined anyone could love him for who he truly is. Then he meets Harry.
🩵 Only Angel by starryhaze / @starryhaze28
(E, 5k, pwp) the one where Louis is in Japan and stumbles upon a boy wearing angel wings
🩵 this cage was once just fine by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose
(T, 3k, uni) the one where Harry pines for Louis
🩵 A Tight Space by @haztobegood
(T, 2k, shapeshifter curse) Louis startles with a hand to his chest. “What the fuck was that?” “Oh, that’s the cat. I told you Liam found a stray a few days ago. That’s him.” “Are you sure that’s a cat?”
🩵 The Wilds - Timestamps by @jaerie
(E, 2k, omegaverse) The fact of the matter was that they were still bonded. And since they were just like any other bonded pair, Louis really wanted his knot. Part 3 of The Wilds
🩵 we could be the greatest team by 5sexualhomos / @hogwartzlou
(G, 1k, friends to lovers) Imagine your OTP accidentally and unofficially moving in together. Bonus points if they aren't dating at the beginning.
🩵 Singing Like a Bird 'Bout It Now by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird
(G, 1k, meet cute) Dr. Louis Tomlinson is worn to the bone, but only has a few patients left before the end of the day. One of those appointments takes quite a few twists and turns.
🩵 The Ball Guy by @homosociallyyours
(T, 1k, humor) Harry is an unpaid intern on his first film set, and he's pretty excited to see that his number one celebrity crush, Louis Tomlinson, will be a part of the movie. He's on the call sheet for the day, followed by a very odd addition: a ball guy?
🩵 Wordplay 2024 (series) by @kingsofeverything
Nest (G, 100 words) Harry wakes up first. Tight (NR, 100 words) Louis comes home early. Carry (NR, 100 words) Baby bump. Press (E, 100 words) Louis asks for it. Interference (G, 100 words) Bottom of the ninth.
- Rare Pairs -
🩵 circling the truth by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed
(T, 3k, Liam/Louis) Liam Payne has met his soulmate. He knows he has, because he woke up with his power this morning.
🩵 'Cause What I Want Came True by @lululawrence
(NR, 1k, Louis/Diego Luna) He’d known Diego was attractive, the few photos he had shared on the dating app had made that clear, but there was something about seeing him in person that made him feel… more.
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sohypothetically · 9 months ago
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Let's go back in time, Lovelies, to 2012. I had just mainlined The Hunger Games series for the first time (and the second, then the third) and had never read a fanfic. I barely knew what they were.
So I read my first fic. My First Date with Katniss Everdeen
It was unputdownable. (Is that a word? It should be a word.)
Anyway, I remember reading Mockingjay and being struck by the gap between when Katniss goes back to 12 and when Peeta returns. Where was Peeta? WHERE WAS HE? I became a bit obsessed.
Moving On was born. It's a short 33K fic that attempts to answer this question. Told from Peeta's point of view, the goal was to get the reader up close and personal with the action in the Capitol.
The Blurb: What happens to Peeta while Katniss is awaiting trial at the end of Mockingjay? How does he put himself back together? How does he end up back in District 12? Takes place before the Epilogue. Rating is T. May move to M due to some hijacking memories.
Fanfic.net
Almost immediately after finishing that, I started writing another. Building the Dream was meant to be my own sort of Empire Strikes Back. It's told in third person and it actually covers some of the same events of Moving On.
The Blurb: Dr. Aurelius treats Peeta and brings him back to himself at the end of Mockingjay. How does that happen? What role does President Paylor have in making sure Peeta can become whole without Plutarch using him as a piece in a new game? Rated T due to descriptions of Peeta's treatment by the Capitol post Quarter Quell.
Fanfic.net
If you decide to check them out, let me know!
What I loved about these stories:
They got me started on writing.
They were in-universe, canon. At the time that's what I loved to read.
There's no sex. (more on sex scenes much, much later.)
Both of these are *character first*. That's how I write all of my stuff and it's translated into my originals as well. I want to write characters that I want to read.
I loved Building the Dream because it really helped me develop an older love interest. Also, I'm especially proud of a few of the battle scenes.
What was hard:
I don't read a lot of political stuff, so the politics was hard. I remember talking to @randomnoteforfuturereference for hours over some of the things he thought would happen as a result of the events of Mockingjay.
It's meant to be a trilogy. I never wrote the third installment and that really bothers me.
I don't know why I never put either of these on AO3. I remember getting roasted horribly for a canon description mistake in Moving On, pulling it, correcting it, and then like, curling up and sucking my thumb for days. Clearly, that affected me.
One more thing. I'm pretty sure the third chapter of Building the Dream was right around the time I read Hotel Paper the first time.
It haunted me. Gutted me. I still think about it.
If you haven't read it, you should. Seriously. But be prepared to cry and need some tissues.
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yary-t · 2 years ago
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The Sandman in general (and dreamling in particular) has somehow gotten me to be truly active on Tumblr for the first time in years, to unearth my ao3 account, and to bury myself under a pile of fic ideas. 
List of Dreamling fics I actually managed to finish:
When your breaking point’s all that you have: Hob gets captured by Burgess, a fishbowl breakout ensues (and then a good chunk of the word count is just unwittingly dating), or, as summarized by ao3 user reallyhotgoose, “you look at them and think shall we play it safe? no, you say LET’S MAKE THEM MORE TRAUMATIZED“. Rated M. 
His skin was pale and his eye was odd: attempted human sacrifice culminates in identity reveal. Rated M.
My wildest dreamings could not foresee: vampire!Dream x regular human!Hob. Rated E.
The valley of the night: fairy tale AU, my attempt to write something more artistic. Rated T. Contains COMIC SPOILERS.
Like a hand in a flame: a sequel to the vampire au, from monster hunter!Johanna’s POV. Rated T.
List of Dreamling WIPs in case anyone wants to ask me about any of them thus adding to my motivation to actually work on them  (ordered by how much of the fic I actually have written):
No defense, no escape from the ties that bind: yet another installment in the vampire AU. Rated E.
Putting it together, bit by bit (Or: scenes from that one time Mr. Gadling was put in charge of the school play and dragged his goth not-boyfriend along for the ride, as seen through the eyes of assorted cast members): the multi-chapter outsider POV fic I started writing while working on the beginning of When your breaking point’s all that you have because I needed a break from all the pain and suffering. Pure fluff, more a series of drabbles and scene fragments in chronological sequence than a full story, pre-relationship.
Untitled siren AU: scuba diver!Hob x siren!Dream. Featuring: Dream saving Hob from drowning when he gets nitrogen narcosis while diving alone, Dream sort of becoming Hob’s dive buddy, Hob rescuing Dream from a literal fishbowl.
Thinking they’re alone: fantasy AU, sex worker!Hob x unspecified-magical-being!Dream. [I have it plotted but it requires smut and will be maybe 10~20k words so I’m putting it off]
List of fic ideas not yet promoted to WIPs, aka concepts that I want to read more than write (please send me links if you know fics that match! I haven’t been able to keep up with everything posted):
Untitled ballet AU: dancer!Hob x choreographer!Dream. [I have no plot, just a few ideas that may become a plot. This was originally listed as a WIP but it got demoted; I think in the end I did want to read this idea more than write it because once I did I was no longer invested in this WIP at all. So if you want an AU with this set up may I recommend bartered tendons; battered rhythm]
Untitled 1: and then they were roommates, except Dream is the ghost that came with the cottage in the middle of nowhere Hob (a regular, mortal, human) suddenly inherited. Hob’s lived on the streets, though -- he’s not about to let the fact that it’s haunted drive him away from a perfectly nice house. [I have some random worldbuilding but the entire note is three short paragraphs]
Untitled 2 (tw: dub con): instead of Dream being the one who feels obligated to provide sex, it’s Hob who thinks like this. Hob who offers the use of his body, feeling he owes it for his immortality. Dream who is being offered something he wants, who has no reason to assume it isn’t willingly offered, and so he takes. Hob would do anything for immortality (if it's set early in their acquaintance), for his friend -- to keep his friend (if it's set in the present) [This is literally all I have written on the note for this idea. I wrote it after reading illuminetic’s arguments re: 1489 Hob’s fuckability. Illuminetic wrote an AMAZING fic about Hob fearing that his stranger wants sexual favors. I also want one in which he actually provides them on the mistaken assumption that Dream requires them]
Catch me I’m falling (below there are COMICS SPOILERS; also, tw: mentions of suicide and depression):
Once upon a dream, an ordinary man faced the fates, the kindly ones, the furies with no weapon but his humanity. And he got them to bend--to be satisfied with Dream of the Endless, and to spare Morpheus. His friend, his love.
This is not that story.
This is the aftermath of that story.
Morpheus, no longer Dream, cast into a silence as fatalistic as that of his glass cage, with no hope of ever escaping it. Caged into a flesh that is human, if not truly mortal. Bereft of his function, his purpose.
Aka the epic Hob trying to support Dream through navigating humanity while still struggling with his depression fic I am in no way shape or form qualified to write. A retired!Dream fic in which being freed of his burden doesn’t solve his problems, but makes them worse. Hob struggles with guilt that he didn’t see what Dream was doing, fear that he’ll try again, anger at Dream for being willing to just abandon him, anger at himself for being angry at Dream. [the sheer amount of research I’d have to do to sill maybe mess it up somehow is dauting. I mean, should I even call it depression? Idk, I’d have to read up on it]
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ghoste-catte · 3 years ago
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I usually avoid unfinished works like the plague because they may stop at a random unsatisfying moment but at this point I am dying of starvation. Can you reccomend any good unfinished gaalee fics? Ongoing ones or abandoned works. Thank you in advance! :3
Oh, anon. You have innocently stumbled across the intersection of my obsessions like a fawn into the open mouth of a bear trap.
That being said, GaaLee? Stories cut agonizingly short?? Do I have some recommendations for you!!
This is gonna get long as hell, so let me slap it behind a cut.
Okay, let me start off with a couple of GaaLee powerhouses. You have probably come across their stories before:
Luna_Lee: A good chunk of @sagemoderocklee's works are WIPs, so if you're looking for something to get invested in and then cry about when it's not quite done, they're definitely your person. Come here for politics-heavy AUs, worldbuilding, and descriptions so lush you'll want to eat them, specifically:
Thirteen Strokes (Canonverse, slow burn, drama, intrigue, and falling in love, 2/13, 25k)
The Art of Love (Canon divergence, slow burn, politics, worldbuilding, and travel, 12/26, 135k)
It Eats Your Heart (Horror, haunted house, psychodrama, trauma, 1/6, 6.7k)
Whazzername: I recommend anything by Whazz for your fun and fluffy feels needs, but for WIPs, I specifically suggest:
A Golden Opportunity (Olympics AU!, modern AU, family drama, pining from a distance, 1/?, 3k)
Love's Revenge (Pirate AU, mistaken identities, worldbuilding, 2/?, 8.5k)
Fools Rush In series (Canonverse, surrogacy, baby Metal, falling in love and first times; Part 1 complete, 9/9, 29k; Part 2 incomplete, 5/9, 25k)
EgregiousDerp: @egregiousderp is another always-recommend, particularly if you like intensive worldbuilding, chaotic!horny Gaara and lawful!horny Lee, complicated relationships, and characterizations that aren't where the rest of fanon goes but feel so right. Specifically, I'd suggest:
Things You Said series (Canonverse, Neji lives, cultural notes, idiots in love, Parts 1 & 2 compete, 1/1 & 1/1, 18k & 17k; Part 3 not posted)
Word and Deed (Soulmarks AU, nontraditional soulmates, post-Boruto, old men in love, 4/?, 19k)
HEROES COME BACK!!! (A RUMBLEBIRDS remix) (Magic AU, worldbuilding, humor, 2/?, 12k)
Okay, having set aside the regular players, let's dig into the hidden gems of the pairing:
Years and Years by @requirings (Illustrated!, fic outline, canonverse, slow burn, falling in love, firsts, 14/?, 32k)
A Memory of Sand and Silence by @snailcronomycota (Silent Hill AU, horror, atmospheric, 2/?, 13k)
The Moss by @sodii and @m-jeevas (Illustrated!, '90s AU, substance use and addiction, mental health, lots of smut, 18/?, 211k)
Brunch by rayo (@lizardyeast) (Modern AU, recluse Gaara, Shukaku as a chihuahua, chaotic roommate Naruto, 4/?, 19k)
Recklessness and Other Spaces by Virlatta (Post-canon/Pre-Boruto, dystopian, shinobi system critique, Naruto-critical, angst, 14/?, 28k)
Catharsis by sepiacigarettes (Arranged marriage AU, slow burn, Suna worldbuilding, also SNS, 22/?, 50k)
Risen from Ash by @bushierbrows (Canon divergence, anti-war, shinobi system critique, 2/?, 19k)
EUNOIA series by YumKiwiDelicious (Lost memories, dreams, I honestly don't want to spoil this one just READ IT, Part 1 complete, 12/12, 50k; Part 2+ not posted)
Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (plants, canon divergence, one-shots, 3/10, 6.8k)
Beneath the Mask by LilacNoctua (@lilac-writes) and Almost_sad (@flightlessdevotee) (Illustrated!, Victorian AU, masquerades, fleeing the law, 3/6, 14k)
Odd One by ManaBanana (@missdetache) (Gaara being a whole freak, canonverse, humor, 3/?, 8k)
Properties of Emergence series by Myrddinembreis (Canon-adjacent, worldbuilding, lush descriptions, beautiful language, Parts 1 & 2 complete, 1/1 & 2/2, 29k & 30k; Part 3+ not posted)
Mirotic by thejammys (College AU, slow burn, photographer!Gaara, track star!Lee, 9/25, 50k)
Antinomy by GooseAndGold (Blank Period, soul bonds, dreamsharing, 4/?, 14k)
Pressure Point by BaffledFox (Canonverse, mission fic, kidnapping, high stakes, 3/?, 14k)
Triple Time by @gidget-goes (Magic AU, Fantasy AU, djinn, worldbuilding, visual language galore, 2/5, 10k)
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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years ago
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Sirius Black Masterlist by Heloise Daphne Brightmore
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Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists 
All the fics are in alphabetical order, for the newest fics, please head to Recently Posted.
If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. <3
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Sirius Black imagines/blurbs
[A] Alive [0.3k words]
Sirius gets injured and regardless of his reassuring touch, you find it hard to process that he’s alright.
[U] Unbroken promise [0.9k words]
Sirius promises a breath-taking date, only to leave you waiting. When Remus arrives, your heart realises before your brain does that something might not be right.
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Sirius Black one shots
[A] A haunted night [1.7k words]
Sirius has been battling with his nightmares, but he decides to fight them alone, fearing to share his weaknesses with you. That is until you can't stand his pained whimpers echoing across the corridor anymore.
Absurd ideas [4.7k words]
Sirius’ jealousy causes a misunderstanding which inevitably ends up with him getting worked up and everyone else being confused. Most of all you, when you realise he thinks he knows what you feel, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth.
All your fault [1.9k words]
Sirius’ boredom causes you to end up in detention. Or so you think, but he has a different perspective on the events and you clearly can’t find the golden middle.
Alone? Together! [1.5k words]
The war has taken a toll on everyone and Sirius finds himself useless whilst hiding at Grimmauld Place. His own thoughts are eating him up, wanting to be reckless, but not daring to lose those he loves. When you arrive to sooth his worries, your strength reassures him that he is not alone, that whatever happens, you can face it together.
An unrefusable offer [3.2k words]
Sirius has been trying to get you to go out with him for the longest of time, but you can’t accept his interest in you. Will his cunning little plan change your mind at Lily and James’ wedding or will it end in a disaster?
[B] Be my (fake) girlfriend [4.8k words]
Sirius is fed up of girls throwing themselves at him, so he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, but you seem to enjoy the fake relationship more than you were supposed to.
Best Christmas Present [3.1k words]
Sirius goes back to you after he has escaped Azkaban. But when he finds you with a son, he wants nothing but to escape the heartbreak, not even listening to your explanation.
Beyond Friendship [8.3k words]
To get back at your good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend, you ask Sirius to help you out and pretend to be your new boyfriend, which seems to agitate your ex just as you expected. However, you couldn't have anticipated how Sirius’ infuriating presence could actually turn out to be not only fun, but almost essential.
Bitter Past [3.8k words]
Sirius has been relentlessly asking you out on dates, when you finally agreed, but in your mind it’s all about revenge.
Bundle of joy [1.4k words]
Part of the series What they call home, but can be read separately. When you realise there’s a little baby growing in your belly, it terrifies you. Both you and Sirius had a rough childhood and now that there’s a new life inside you, your ability to raise a child concerns you, especially as you’re in the middle of a war.
Busted [4k words] [18+]
You and Sirius have always been close, but in the last year you have been even more involved with each other. However you didn’t want others to know about it, so you kept it a secret. Up until you both made a mistake.
[C] Christmas lie [1.8k words]
Your relationship with your parents has never been a good one, therefore they plan to spend Christmas without you. But you don’t want Sirius to spend it with you either, knowing he would have a better time with his friends. So you decide to lie.
Cookies [1.6k words]
You always loved to bake, so spending time in Hogwarts’ kitchen has become a daily activity of yours. This time however Sirius joins you and he has other ideas beside tasting your delicious cookies.
Crimes of jealousy [3.8k words]
Sirius becomes jealous when he hears that you agreed to go on a date with a fellow Gryffindor and he decides to do something about it.
Cuddles [1.1k words]
Sirius and you are cuddled up in a bed, enjoying a warm, sunny morning with a couple of sweet confessions.
[D] Damned words [2k words]
Friends. And a bit more of the benefits. That's what you and Sirius were to each other. Until he uttered those damned words maybe in the heat of the moment, maybe as a result of the amount of alcohol he consumed. Either way, you should have escaped.
Degrading feelings [1.8k words]
James thinks his friendship is more important than your relationship with Sirius so you and Lily decide to take revenge
Distant friend [3.8k words]
When rumours start about you and your housemate, Sirius decides to keep a distance from you, which you do not take well.
Do you mind? [1.9k words]
You think you know better what Sirius would say and when you actually do, Sirius ends up speechless. However, what you don’t know is what Sirius would do.
Don’t play games with me! [2.5k words]
Having a crush on Sirius was as normal as the sun coming up every day, but as a friend of his, you tried to keep it a secret. But then James decides to get involved and corners you in an uncomfortable conversation.
[F] Fear of prejudice [2.2k words]
You didn’t find being a barista a particularly attractive career, but when Sirius takes on the role, it stirs up some unexpected feelings inside you. However the reason behind your newfound interest isn’t in his occupation, but something that you dare not to voice, ashamed of your sinful thoughts.
Feelings [1.2k words]
You have been having all sorts of feelings, causing your head to become a mess. Sirius, being a sweet boyfriend stays by your side.
Fluffy supporter [2k words]
You have been in need of a support animal since first year, but unfortunately your puppy couldn’t accompany you at the start of year. Padfoot comes along to help you out, without you knowing that the dog is actually your boyfriend.
[G] Gentle Seduction [3.5k words]
You are more than aware of Sirius’ feelings towards you, but he doesn’t seem to want to take the first step. You decide to force him to realise he has no other options.
Go on a date with me! [3.6k words]
You have had enough of craving for Sirius’ attention so you decide to take the first step. Things however might not turn out to be so great.
[I] I missed you [1k words]
Sirius is missing you, his girlfriend, and James finds the situation rather entertaining. It seems James and you are on the same wavelength when it comes to Sirius being a love-sick puppy.
Interest in you [3.2k words]
You have been interested in Sirius for years, but you didn’t want to date him. It has been bugging him to no end, leaving you annoyed.
[M] Make me [3k words]
Sirius is unable to shut up and you are at a tipping point. Even after being kindly asked to shut up for a mere second, Sirius doesn’t take your request seriously.
Memories of a Pensieve [3.4k words]
Your friends have been tired of you and Sirius dancing around each other so they show you what they see on a daily basis to convince you.
Misunderstood feelings [4.1k words]
Being Sirius Black’s girlfriend had its pros and cons, but unfortunately you could only see what was missing recently.
[N] Not so perfect [1.6k words]
Sirius is the perfect son. Captain of his quidditch team, Headboy of Slytherin, dashingly handsome with perfect grades and proud parents. Expect that he has fallen for a Muggleborn Gryffindor.
[R] Relying on [2.5k words]
You are not sure if you can rely on your friends anymore, the continuous bullying and harassment, the mean words playing in your head over and over again, almost pushing you too far from them. [Platonic]
[S] Second chance [2.4k words]
Sirius has been distant and rude, eventually breaking your friendship. He is angry, you are hurt, both of you pulling away even further. That is until James and Remus decide to meddle.
Space that he already had [5.3k words]
Your boyfriend, Sirius has been more distant than ever and he doesn’t even realise it even when you confront him.
[T] Teacher’s pet [5.3k words]
Sirius being your teacher meant he was someone you could never have. You are struggling with your feelings and how ethically wrong what you feel is, even though he is only 5 years older.
Truth behind the Polyjuice [2.3k words] 
The marauders decide to take your love life into their hands, but things turn out badly, leaving you full of anger towards them.
Truth or Dare [4.5k words]
You and your friends are bored so you start playing a little Truth or Dare, but it doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Or does it?
[U] Unexpected expectancy [3.4k words]
You and Sirius have never talked about having a family on your own. When you become pregnant, you panic and don’t know what to do.
Unforeseen mission [5.8k words]
You have always thought Sirius cheated on you back in Hogwarts, so you avoided him. But then Dumbledore decides to send you on a mission together and you accidentally agree.
Unprotected experience [3.1k words]
A couple of nights of fun left you sick and vulnerable. When you finally realise the cause of your sickness, you do not know what to do.
[Y] Your decision, yours only [1.7k words]
Sirius is having trouble with his family and you are trying to be there for him.
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Sirius Black headcanons
[M] Movie genres [0.2k words]
What movie genres Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter like.
[P] Pets they brought to Hogwarts [0.4k words]
What kind of pets Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Regulus Black brought to Hogwarts in their first year. 
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Sirius Black mini series 
[F] Facade pt. 1|2 [1.1k words] Facade pt. 2|2 [1.1k words]
You have been silently suffering pretending to be someone else, but noone can see the real you.
[H] Hot stuff pt. 1|2 [6k words] Hot stuff pt. 2|2 [4.2k words]
University is causing you a great deal of stress, you are couped up in your room, having your own cave. That is until your friends decide they have had enough and drag you away from your studies for a night out. But when your eyes meet a familiar face, one that you thought you would never see again, you find yourself once again captured by him, the reasonable part of your brain betraying you.
[L] Like a dream pt. 1|2 [3.4k words] Like a dream pt. 2|2 [2.9k words]
Sirius and you were supposed to be enemies, but your crush on him might not be as unrequited as you thought.
Lesson from a Prefect pt. 1|2 [4.6k words] Lesson from a Prefect pt. 2|2 [4.4k words]
Being a prefect meant you didn’t have a good relationship with the Marauders. However Sirius takes an interest in you after you give him a piece of your mind. You are tricked into going on a date with Sirius and you are dreading every moment of it, but he turns out to be more than a lost because.
Love in the Order pt. 1|2 [3.3k words] Love in the Order pt. 2|2 [3.3k words]
Finally finishing your mission you return to the Order’s headquarter as per Dumbledore’s request, where you run into Sirius Black, the man you have been craving to see. Feeling the happiness of being reunited doesn’t last long, you have to part ways with Sirius to attend to another dangerous mission, but things don’t turn out the way you have planned.
[T] Teach me how to kiss pt. 1|2 [3.7k words] Teach me how to kiss pt. 2|2 [3.7k words]
You have asked your crush out on a date, but you never dated before. You ask your best friend, Sirius to teach you on the physical part of dating, which he reluctantly agrees to. You realise that you have caught feelings for him, but knowing he would never return your feelings is beyond painful. 
[U] Useless warning pt. 1|2 [3.9k words] Useless warning pt. 2|2 [3.5k words] 
Sirius is one of your best friends who happens to be dating Marlene. She isn’t particularly a good friend of yours, but you do get along. She agrees to go out with Sirius, all the while she is aware of your feelings. Things get complicated as you are unable to keep your feelings to yourself anymore.
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Sirius Black series
[W] What they call home [14.3k words]
You’re in need of protection and Albus is ready to give it to you after years of help you have been providing the Order with. However your presence is not welcomed, especially by Sirius Black himself as you already have history behind you. However Sirius agrees to the wizard’s wishes, which forces you to be trapped in the same household. [Completed]
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© All rights reserved ® in regards to my characters, their behaviours and personality. I, however do not own the rights to the gifs and photos presented in the chapters, unless stated otherwise and any of the characters and story line matching the original script by J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.
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1K notes · View notes
inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago
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Hey Steph, got any good old (maybe new?) bedsharing fics for a fanfic obsessed lurker?
Thanks 😘
Hey Nonny!!
Hahha! I actually just did a list recently of my old ones, but I just double-checked my offline lists and I actually DO have some fics on my next Bed Sharing list, so GUESS WHAT? Your ask is the one to start the next Bed Sharing one, LOL.
As usual, if anyone has any they’d like to add, especially if they’re brand new fics, let us know! <3
BEDSHARING Pt. 5
See also:
The Speckled Blonde / BedSharing
BedSharing Pt. 2 and Insecure Sherlock
Bed Sharing Pt. 3
Bed Sharing Pt. 4
Bed Sharing “Just Happens”
Soft. Happy. Content. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 223 w., 1 Ch. || Sleepy Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Spooning, Morning After, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock reflects on his state of mind.
And When The Night Is Over by Simply Isnt On (K, 329 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Platonic Bed Sharing / Not Slash) – Sherlock and John sleep together.
I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
Sleep Tonight by Jenn1984 (T, 1,220 w, 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Bed Sharing, Worried Sherlock, Sick John, Hugs/Cuddles, Touch Neediness) – Fingers begin prying open his jacket looking for a wound and John would really like to swat at them. No, he's not hit anywhere, he's just damn sick.- John Watson has a fever.
Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
Here to Stay by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 1,574 w., 1 Ch. || Post Reunion, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Headache, Bed Sharing, Care Taker Sherlock, Hand Holding, Fluff) – On Sherlock's first day home, John wakes with a migraine.
The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.
Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It's because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.
Human Body Pillow by Lunavere (K, 4,122 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Sleepy Johnlock, Bed Sharing) – A story about the five times John fell asleep on Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock fell asleep on him.
The Myth by AGirloftheSouth (M, 4,329 w., 1 Ch || Sex Toys / Anal Beads, PWP, Romance, Bottom John, Prostate Stimulation) – Sherlock believes something to be a myth. John proves him wrong.
When We Sleep by PrincessNala (K+, 6,660 w., 1 Ch || Post-TGG,  Alternating POV, Bed Sharing, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort, Hugs) – Sherlock needed to feel every beat of his heart, every rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It was the only way to completely assure himself that John was alive and right there next to him, and not dead, no, never dead…
To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.
There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”
Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst With Happy Ending, Sherlock is Called Freak, John’s Penance, Voyeurism, Doctor/Caretaker John, Guilty John, Detox, Fingering, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Slight Non-Con Turns Enthusiastic Consent, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world's only consulting detective will be on his own once again...or will he?
The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names, Panic Attack) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.
A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.
Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.
Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...
Insanity in the Middle by DotyTakeThisDown (E, 28,010 w., 8 Ch. || Equestrian Sports AU || Alternate First Meeting, POV John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Clueless Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Passionate Kisses, Hand Holding, Caught Making Out, Bed Sharing, Spooning, Blow Job) – John is a world-class eventing rider with a gold medal and several four-star wins to his credit, but he's never won at Rolex. Sherlock is an up-and-coming rider taking the sport by storm.
A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.
Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...
A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.
Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...
Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love,  Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.
Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."
Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.
Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?
Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?
Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  
The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series
Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest
The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball
Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.
Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.
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im-auntie-social · 3 years ago
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JB exchange recs part 3: now with themes!
(see part 1 for disclaimers/justifications and an uncategorized list of a few fics that seemed like they were written specifically for me, only one of which actually was)
(see part 2 for some angst, as well as some warm fluff)
I don’t know about you but I like grouping things and seeing patterns where there really aren’t any. And I saw a lot of probably-nonexistent patterns in the @jaime-brienne-fic-exchange fic offerings! For instance...
Vaguely WWII/postwar-flavored: however long the night, the dawn will break again (M, 3.6k) has Jaime and Brienne as ships passing in the night... ships with history. Coming Home from Lonely Places (T, 4k) declared war ON MY EMOTIONS as rival spies Jaime and Brienne come into contact at different points in the war(s).
A heaping helping of Cersei: I enjoy a good not-totally-crazy-and portrayal of Cersei, I’ll admit it. On the fun side, Cersei survives but is doomed to live as Aunt Celia (N, 2.6k) (also featuring a lot of good, practical women who don’t put up witih Jaime’s shit either). On the gothic side, I won’t give away what’s up with the Lannister siblings in the atmospheric-as-hell Half-Life (T, 19k) but it’s great. And on the deep-character-analysis side, I adore how in the dark, I thought I saw you (T, 17k) progresses in POV from Jaime, to Cersei, to Brienne.
Dream time: Technically I could list Those Who Favor Fire (T, 9k) under the space AUs, but the awesomely weird and dreamlike effects the mysterious planet has on our heroes is the best part of it. More on-the-nose for this section is To Sleep, Perchance to Dream (T, 3k) which has Jaime and Brienne sharing a strange liminal space in their dreams, even though they don’t know each other in real life. Both of these just nail the weirdness of dream logic and the outside-of-reality feel.
G-g-g-ghoooooosts: In a post-book Casterly Rock, Brienne is bothered by supernatural shenanigans In the Hall of Ghosts (N, 6k). From the post-show category, A Different Choice (T, 3.7k) has a particular spirit offering post-bricks Jaime a second chance. And in the modern AU Haunted (T, 19.k), Jaime is driven out of his apartment by what he swears is a ghost, forcing Brienne to let him sleep on her couch.
Food as a love language: Companion (T, 9k) explores Jaime and Brienne’s canon relationship through food-focused vignettes, which is a fantastic idea and extremely well-executed. The hot gold hush of noon (T, 1.5k) has Brienne taking Jaime through the Australian outback on a foraging trip, doing extraordinary character work in such a small space.
And then, two of my favorite tropes/themes/flavors:
Fun With Pantheons: I adore a good mythology. The Girl who had Two Gods (T, 4.4k, Jaime/Brienne/Arthur Dayne) is a beautiful story of Brienne being born at an inconvenient moment and getting assigned some lesser-known deities to be her patrons. The Jaime-Arthur dynamic is absolutely wonderful, and the absolute softness of Brienne being incorporated into it just made me melt. On the other hand, Brienne gets to be the deity in come in with the rain (T, 2.3k)-- in fact, as the goddess of Spring she’s the only one who responds to young Jaime’s prayers after he fails to kill Aerys’s pyromancers in time to stop King’s Landing from going up in flames. She wasn’t supposed to do that, and he’s, you know, a kingslayer, so they go on the run together. I loved minor-goddess Brienne standing up to the Seven (and the Seven themselves are really well done), and this one has I one of my favorite Happily Ever Afters.
Modern + Magic: Aw yeah, that’s the good stuff. On the shorter side, I love the deft way The Girl Who Painted Lions (T, 2.2k, and gifted to the same person as The Girl who had Two Gods, which doesn’t *for sure* mean they have the same author but it’s a fair bet) weaves the magic system into the story of Jaime and Brienne meeting, separating, and reconnecting (and something about Jaime being able to cast protection wards just makes me feel so warm inside). And I know I’m not the first to bring it up but electric boogaloo (T, 11k) is such a masterclass in worldbuilding, connecting the magic system and types to the factions and families from canon in a way that is absolutely perfect. And it takes place at a series of annual masquerade balls! And Brienne’s mask is made of lightning. Swoon.
So there you have it, an incomplete list of what I enjoyed over the last three weeks (god has it only been three? what even is time?). Hopefully more to come when I actually finish all the reading! And thanks, all possible thanks to the exchange mods-- @slipsthrufingers, @firesign23, @nire-the-mithridatist, and @samirant --who worked tirelessly and over many time zones to make all of this possible. And who also let me-- invited me to, even-- play in the sandbox of exchange data! (oh you can bet there’s some infographics incoming this weekend, just you wait....) (that’s a threat)
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vesperlionheart · 5 years ago
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Vesper’s Quarantine ‘Finished’ Reading List
If you’re stuck indoors and feeling anxious sometimes the best thing is to drown your brain in distractions until you’re able to function again. Thus, I’ve put together a list of Sakura centric stories to entertain you. There’s a lot of shameless self promo here, fair warning, but it’s my blog and my blogpost so that’s where we’re gonna start.  Some of my favorite fic are ones still being updated but this list includes only stories marked as [complete]. 
[Finished personal fic]
Obelisk: Kingdom of Man By: VesperChan 'She could swear she smelt sulfur when she exhaled. Nothing good ever came from boys who smelled like sulfur.' An ancient Egyptian curse and a world of dreams opens Sakura up to a life devoid of safety. In the darkness her nightmares bow themselves to her. In the morning they feast on her heart. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Beasts By: VesperChan One Kingdom down, three to go. Carrying the scars on her heart, Sakura must brave the dreams again as this time, there are more sinister things then men waiting for her when she goes to sleep. The wolves have come to feast and her body will know their teeth. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Monsters By: VesperChan More than halfway through the curse, Sakura's nightmares hold nothing back as fangs and spells seek to drag her down and bury her with the dead. Monsters have come at least to feast on what is left of her bones and devour her wounded heart. Beyond the scars and bloodshed, her soul is beginning to fade under the dim lights of another enchanted speakeasy and ruby eyes. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Gods By: VesperChan Entering the final kingdom, Sakura stands atop a castle of sand to face down the gods who first orchestrated the curse and began the bloody tradition of collecting human souls in a little black obelisk. Gladiators, Egyptian gods, and blood thirsty pharaohs paint a vivid picture on the inside of her mind as she sleeps, dreams, and struggles once again. AU SakuraMany Total word count for Obelisk series: 565,292 (just over half a million words)
RED KING By: VesperChan In the wild country where it never snows but always freezes, the Red King marches his armies against the White Tsar. That is why Sakura is swept away from the lonely streets and the empty barracks into a car with a bastard prince and a promise of redemption, but if only she can face the demons that chased her in the first place and be what the king needs in his war. SakuraCentric 
Touken Revolution by Vesperchan (rated E)  Sakura, a sword smith, is nearly killed for what she really is: a sage, one who can animate weapons into warriors and give bodies to the souls she hears inside swords. Now a refugee in the land of Kiri she's building an army because it's her only hope for survival and maybe even happiness. SakuraKiri Sakura centric
Things We Lost in the Fire By: VesperChan Years later, living alone in the woods with half a dozen dogs, questionable reading material, and crippling non-attachment issues, Sakura realizes she has turned into her teacher. Agebent Sakura Sensei ShiSaku
Jealous gods by Vesperchan When a coup takes the lives of the king and the rest of the royal family, Sakura, the sole surviver, escapes to the edge of the world with Kakashi to strike a bargain with an old god. Her worship in exchange for his power. She's warned he's a dark and jealous god, but that's not enough to sway her. ItaSaku Kakasaku darkItachi AU
Lindworm & the Tam Lin Love a Changling by Vesperchan Sakura travels as a curse breaker across the land, doing what she can to put some peace back into the world. She doesn't think much of it when she breaks the curse on a lesser dragon or a fae knight, but maybe she should have. MadaSaku, HashiSaku Poly
A Confluence of Stars by Vesperchan (my WitcherAU) With the war over between two princedoms, Sakura, a sniper, returns home to celebrate Confluence with her grandmother, the local Story Keeper. She had expected it to be nothing more than just another celebration when the star rivers overlapped and the poor people partied. But, along with the rest of the world, Sakura soon realizes that Confluence did more than just give people a reason to celebrate. A wicked new world filled with monsters and magic straight from Baba's tales spills into theirs, and Sakura is forced to turn to her rifle and her stories to make sense of it. Sakuracentric 
Sugarplum by Vesperchan "They will use you up, and love you all the while, until there is nothing left of the girl you used to be." Sakura had been a chosen one, once upon a time, but that was years ago, and all the magic has left her. Still, the world calls her back and she has a new role in supporting the next girl savior many years her junior. ItaSakuSaso
Stag by Vesperchan  He was a wizard with a tower and a set of rules he should never break. Sakura was a girl with just a bit of budding magic he decides he can't ignore. Some things were made to be broken. TobiSaku 
[Finished general fic list]
Hollow Point by Sariasprincy @sariasprincy​ Arms dealing is her trade, but young and in a man's world, it takes a criminal mastermind to play with the big dogs without getting bit. TobiSaku/ItaSaku. Crime!AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.
Where it Happened also by @sariasprincy​e He was the new head of Cardio and her new boss, and though she thought him a little full of himself, it seemed there was more to the famed Uchiha Itachi than he led on. Not that she could claim her life was that uncomplicated as well. ItaSaku. Modern AU. Grey's Anatomy AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.
Nightmare in Red by @sariasprincy​ Haruno Sakura used to think the eyes were the windows to the soul, but after witnessing the horrors of the Sharingan firsthand, she's convinced they are the doors. ItaSaku. Nonmass. Rated T
Blurred Lines  by @sariasprincy​He was an international criminal. She was a federal agent. And she wanted nothing more than to arrest him - or shoot him - if only he would stop providing her leads to more desirable criminals first. MadaSaku. Rated T.
The Man in Black  A man in black haunts her hospital. But what does he want and why is it that Sakura is the only one that can see him? ItaSaku. Modern Myth AU. Death AU
The Choices We Make by @sariasprincy​He was the Head of the Uchiha Clan and she the fearless discipline of the Hokage, but how the hell was she supposed to find the strength to tell him she was pregnant? MadaSaku. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.
halcyon days by jaylene @thefreckledone​ Sakura sees dead people. Well, two dead people to be exact. Everything changes. Sakura-centric. Indra/Sakura/Ashura. 
hands like houses by @thefreckledone Sakura finds herself trapped in the past and discovers a new family along the way, however unwilling she may be. Time travel. Fix-it fic. Sakura-centric.
Borage by @thefreckledone Sakura is in search for answers. What she finds doesn't please her.
Forest Fire by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. Sasu x Saku x Ita. A small spark can launch a forest fire.
Forest Fire II by Moor @kendochick-moor Sequel to "Forest Fire". University AU. Sasu X Saku X Ita. After Sasuke inexplicably broke up with her when he leaves for Oto, Sakura throws herself into her school and social life. Friends like Ino, and surprisingly Itachi, are there to help her along the way. Meanwhile another threat, in the form of unbalanced Uchiha Madara, stalks her, ever nearer.
Tipsy series by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. MadaSaku. The 1-5 part  of the "5 Drunkfics" prompts.  (Rated 'M' for language & themes)
Akatsuki Sakura AU by moor  DeiSaku, ItaSaku. Konoha-verse AU. Akatsuki Sakura AU. Raised by Uchiha Madara as part of the Akatsuki, Sakura is sent to infiltrate Konoha's ranks. Things become complicated when she is promoted to a team with one of Konoha's most well-respected ANBU captains, Uchiha Itachi.
Soulmates by Moor - KakaSaku. Age-swap AU. Based on the "Soulmates" prompt from the October 2015 tumblr KakaSaku fest. Kakashi has a reputation as an enfant terrible; at least, until Sakura sensei takes him under her wing. Rated M for later chapters.
Fancy Footwork by silverfootsteps @silverfootstepswrites For Sakura, there's always been dreary days of schoolwork and unreliable people. Who knew a clumsy womanizer, an accidental pervert, a soft-hearted glutton, and an incredibly sexy virgin would light her life up like this? A friendship founded on dancing and the strange threat that tied them all together: "Fiji". AU
Equinox by silverfootsteps Sakura is half-siren, half-human, and 100% unprepared for what waits for her when she moves to a little seaside town. A place where calling someone a monster always receives the answer: "….well, duh". Monster AU. Multisaku.
Lullaby by Silverfootsteps Sakura is part-siren, part-human, and learning how to deal with a nest of lovable dorks. But nothing seems impossible in the sleepy little town of Old Pines, where magic hangs heavy in the air and a certain werewolf has learned to stop pissing everywhere. Sort of. Sequel to Equinox. Monster AU. Polysaku af.
Butterfly by silverfootsteps After winning her first and only Olympic gold, Haruno Sakura shocks the world by announcing her retirement from skating. When she returns to her little hometown of Konoha, she finds that not much has changed. The same old temples, the same old persimmon trees. Resigned to a quiet life, she settles in for what she hopes will be an uneventful retirement. Skating AU. Itasaku.
Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.
Vertigo by Cynchick Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.
An Indispensable Assistant by TayMor Professional. Intelligent. Intuitive. Haruno Sakura is the assistant every boss wants. She is smart, she is capable, and she is experienced. Operating with her own hard and fast rules, Sakura has one, very important personal rule. Never fall in love with your boss. However, being indispensable to Uchiha Itachi will put that rule under heavy duress. AU. 
The Third Chance by TayMor reviewsJust because he died didn't mean he got to stay dead. The Rikudo Sennin reincarnates Uchiha Madara as his 26 year old self and he begins his third life broken, humiliated and full of despair. But things change as Madara finds himself competing against Sasuke for the attention of Konoha's favorite medic... MadaSakuSasu Set after the final battle and during the blank period.
Rainy Days by Wynth It took her a while before Sakura was convinced that she was once again in her twelve year old body, but by that time it was too late. •Time-Travel / AU•
Consequences of Saving a Life by BelleDayNight reviewsAt the end of the war, Neji is revived by Sakura. She has saved his life, now she is responsible for it. The Hyuga clan leader covets the power that Naruto and Sakura could bring the clan with unions with Hinata and Neji. Can they survive the politics of the noble clan? Naruto trains with Sasuke and Hanabi for CPE while Sakura and Neji embark on a mission together for the Daimyo.
Take It or Leave It by kc-archive  Akatsuki & Sakura. After a moment of shock, Sakura realized that two fully grown, fully naked men were sitting squished uncomfortably together in her bathtub. (dubcon warning)
Till Death Due Us Apart  by SpeedDemon315​ Ever since he was gone, she never was the same. The world was warm and cheery while she was cold and dreary. She thought there was no hope left for her…or was there? Oneshot, character death [SasorixSakura]
Bringing Back What's Dead by SpeedDemon315  Sequel to Till Death Due Us Apart. She made a promise to herself to discover a way to revive him and have him finally see his son. What happens when your greatest enemy from the past is the only one who can grant your fondest wish? SakuraxSasori
Time Flies Like An Arrow by katlou303 Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's a four-year-old civilian having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.
Uneasy coexistence by DeGlace One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right.
The Art of War by leafygirl  Entry for the LJ Kakasaku AU contest. Sakura gets stuck following her teacher after a bet with her friends. But his mysterious life is nothing she ever expected.
Vespertine by Cynchick  Two enemies strike a bargain to save what they both hold dear. He will reveal a truth that shakes her beliefs, drawing her into a web of lies and betrayal. She will offer the redemption for which he never hoped and show him how to be human again. ItaSaku.
Caught and Set Loose by Celtic Oak AU. On a mission, Sakura and her companions find themselves in the custody of the wildest clan of the East Province. Forced to accept their hospitality and a redheaded escort, the medic must make the best of her situation, wherever it leads her. GaaSaku. 
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harrysgloves · 4 years ago
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Trouble (chapter 3)
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>>>Catch up with master list here!<<<
word count: 1.1k
story summary: You’re nothing but trouble and Harry can’t help the fact that he wants a taste.
warnings: Language // Mentions of past smut
chapter summary: DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL
a/n: Well it’s official! After much debate and me writing like 7 chapters we got ourselves another series! Yay! Also, this is the shortest chapter so far... this fic as a mind of it’s own at this point.
>>><<<
You crashed with a groan onto the pink fluffy comforter on Rose's bed. The soft material you had gifted her for her birthday breaking your fall with a thump. Burying your face into the fabric as you whined.
You felt like you were going absolutely mad. It had been 4 days and you hadn't been able to get that British fucker out of your mind for longer than 20 minutes. Those memorizing eyes haunting your dreams at night.
The night after you two hooked up, you laid in bed staring at your ceiling as the world snoozed on so easily. Your mind, on the other hand, was a shit show of memories of him flashing through your brain.
The way his touch sent shots of lightning through you. It was like you could almost still feel his touch lingering on your skin.
The way he smelled so sweet and musky as he laid over top of you, hips rolling against you in waves, making you lose your damn mind.
Maybe this would be normal for most people, but for you? It was unheard of.
"I'm going insane." You mumbled face first into the bed, your voice muffled by the ridiculously thick blanket.
"Oh, you looove him. You wanna kiss him." Rose sang from the corner of her dorm room. Her taunting was the last thing you needed right now. You already felt dumb enough obsessing over him, you definitely didn't need her help making you feel worse.
"I do not!" You said, throwing her own pillow at her. Laughing when she squealed as it hit her square in the face. She glared at you as it fell on the floor. Hands on her hips before bending over to pick it up.
"'M sorry, I meant to aim for your ass." You said through giggles. Her blue eyes narrowing at you as she threw it back. Not impressed with how easily you caught it.
"Well, at least I'm not the one obsessed over Harry." She said as she turned back around to pick out an outfit to wear for the day.
Her closet filled to the brim with all the clothes you were magically missing from your own wardrobe made you roll your eyes. She was never in your room so you had no idea how she managed to sneak off with your stuff so much.
"Hows Elena feel about you wearing my shit?" You asked your eyebrow raising as you questioned her.
It would have taken a complete idiot to not realize for some reason the girl now had beef with you. You weren't entirely sure if it was because of Rose or Harry. Either way, it made for awkward tension just waiting to happen in your group of friends.
"Don't think she ever noticed." Rose said with a shrug like she didn't care but you cared. You cared a whole fucking lot. How could she not notice Rose wearing someone else's clothes?
"Rose, you know I love you right?" You asked, sitting up in the bed, legs crossed under you. Worry was written all over your face.
"Oh my god. Are you finally proposing to me?" She said, turning around fanning her face to stop the fake tears from ruining her mascara. "I've been dreaming about this day for so long."
"Shut up. I'm being serious." You rolled your eyes but still cracked a slight smile. She may have been annoying but you always loved it.
"Ugh, you always ruin the moment!" She grumbled as she slipped on the shirt she settled on wearing for the day. The loose fabric of your old high school t-shirt flowed around her beautifully. Making you jealous someone could be so effortlessly gorgeous and dating a total bitch.
"Listen, don't you think it's weird that she doesn't notice that you wear my shit but she notices the second Harry wears something new?" You asked, sitting a bit taller on the bed when she spun around to look at you.
Her eyebrows furrowed, biting the inside of her cheek as she thought about what you'd said. You knew if you were Rose in this situation you'd be pissed but Rose, she just wanted someone to love her. Someone who wanted to be with her, even if she wasn't their first choice.
And she had an ungodly large soft spot for Elena for some unknown reason.
"Maybe it's because I've had all this stuff for a while." She said, completely dismissing you as she turned back around to pick out a pair of leggings to slip on.
"I guess." You said knowing full well that wasn't the reason but didn't want to push the subject anymore. The last thing you wanted was for your friend to be hurt and you didn't want to be the one giving her the bad news that Elena was dragging her along.
Hopefully, she'd see it for herself soon enough.
"Besides, you like Harry." She said with a smile as she sat down to finally do her makeup so you two could get the lunch you owed her from your little bet.
"I don't like him." You huffed as you fell with a thump flat on your back on her bed. The blanket billowing up beside you as your hands ran back and forth across the silky velvet, debating what the hell you'd do if you possibly did like him.
"Oh, but you do."
"I don't. You know we've hardly even talked. We just hooked up. He was just really good that's all." You said as you stared up at her ceiling.
You didn't know what it was like to like someone beyond the bedroom. A concept that was forgotten long ago when you were dumb enough to think love or relationships didn't hurt.
You knew better now though. Knew everything ended up in a mess when you slapped a label across something. Knew that it would end with one of you heartbroken and the other one completely fine. With your whole friend group in shambles over people picking sides.
It was a terrible idea to even consider liking him.
But you couldn't get him out of your head.
"Maybe you should try getting to know him." Rose suggested as she swiped on her lipstick shade of the day.
"No thanks. I think I'm just going to suppress that shit all the way down to the back of my mind and hopefully, forget about it." You said making Rose shake her head at you.
"You're so dumb. Just try it." She said standing up from where she was sitting in front of her full-length mirror. Placing her makeup bag back on her desk.
"What's the worst that could happen?"
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amouthfulofforevers · 5 years ago
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For the shyan week’s free day, I decided to make a rec list with my favorite shyan fics I’ve read so far. All these writers are fantastic and deserve all the kudos and comments, I love all these stories!
Fics with a star on the side are big favorites of mine.
if you go down to the woods by Siria | T |  1,752 Words | ☆
The footage shows Ryan Bergara walking into the woods.
The footage shows Ryan Bergara walking out of the woods.
Like You Want To Be Loved by poetdameron | T |  16,535 Words | ☆
"Settle down with me", Shane says without thinking and as Ryan looks at him with wide open eyes, all he can think of it's how many of Ryan's secrets he knows, how Ryan likes his coffee, and the fact that he has loved him since the moment Ryan first looked up at him and smiled.
Early Morning Conversations by idonthavelungs | G |  594 Words
Sleeping in a dead person’s bed in a house that’s probably haunted doesn’t exactly make sleep come easy.
Horror and Chill, Baby by Squeakyshroom | E |  6,206 Words 
Ryan won't chill, so Shane gives him a helping hand.
Or: Ryan's straight but not when Shane touches him like that.
Let the Sunshine Burn Your Eyes by YogurtTime | E |  6,577 Words | ☆
An innocent man of taste and leisure, Ricky Goldsworth, just wants to check into his hotel room, but gets into an altercation with the concierge while a mysterious gentleman in expensive-looking clothes watches nearby.
Kismet. by poetdameron | E | 18,625 Words | ☆
Everyone is born with Gifts. It doesn’t matter if they didn’t ask for it.
Shane never thought he would meet the only person in the world he can touch without killing them, let alone fall for him.
un poco loco by sanjariti | T |  2,468 Words
(told in a linear date timeline)
In which Ryan Steven Bergara loves Shane Alexander Madej so much, he plans their one-year anniversary gift 6 months in advance. But what sort of gift requires so much planning?
And they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates) by Squeakyshroom | E | Chapter 5/5 | Complete |  25,690 Words
Shane and Ryan are roommates who fuck, but with rules.
(Now if only they'd stop breaking all the damn rules)
Por Favor, Sweetheart by carrieonfighting | T |  7,859 Words | ☆
Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late
Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks
Thursday: Turquoise Taupe by shaniacbergara | G | 3,142 Words
Shane Madej’s hometown is…well, a little bit different than most. He and Ryan take a trip there.
When It Happens by Anotherlostblogger | E |  8,790 Words |☆
At some point Ryan and Shane stopped being just friends. That tension has been there just thrumming under the surface, waiting for the right moment to be released but it’s like a valve, slowly turned so it starts out trickling until they’re caught in the overflow.
in the drift by lorena_estrella | G |  624 Words |☆
After losing his brother in a Kaiju battle, Shane never thought he'll trust anyone again. Then Ryan happened.
Pacific Rim AU
ready if it happens with you by sarcasticfishes | E |  4,319 Words |☆
It’s not a thing. Ryan’s just a little�� touch-starved. Intimacy-starved.
Shane passes behind him when he’s sitting at his desk, idly touches Ryan’s shoulder, thumb brushing the curve of his neck — and goosebumps erupt down the length of Ryan’s arms.
In His Brown Eyes by poetdameron | E | 9,866 Words
As a kid, a shadow lived in Shane's room that became his friend. All he can remember of it, it's its beautiful brown eyes.
As an adult, Shane meets Ryan and his beautiful brown eyes that are familiar.
Collide by needywitch | E | Chapters 2/2 | Complete |  35,310 Words |☆
Ryan is desperately in love with his best friend.
I Don't Want to Sleep Alone by Anotherlostblogger | E | Series | 3 Works
After Ryan gets really shaken that night at Yuma, Shane is left to deal with the aftermath.
Rough water by heyghouls | Not Rated |  9,092 Words
Ryan's apartment gets flooded. He doesn't have anywhere to live in the meantime but it's a good thing his good friend Shane lives close to the office. Shane happily offers him a home and the boys are forced to face their unresolved sexual tension.
One apartment, two boys with raging attractions towards the other and one undeterminated stay. What could go wrong?
Playing It Cool by poetdameron | E |  27,494 Words | ☆
Ryan needs a new roommate, Shane needs a new place. They both work in the film industry, like the same weird crap, love the same movies, and would die for pop corn. It's a blessed match!
There's only one tiny detail Kelsey may have forgotten to tell Ryan about Shane's acting job.
universal truth by lorena_estrella | G | 276 Words
Shane has no idea how he got so lucky but he isn't complainig either. For the next thousand years, all he wants is to love Ryan
Old Sins Cast Long Shadows by MercurySkies | E |  15,442 Words
Sin /sɪn/ noun 1. an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law. 2. any thought or action that endangers the ideal relationship between an individual and God. 3. any diversion from the perceived ideal of human living.
And Longer If I Can by poetdameron | T | 6,315 Words
After Shane makes an "odd" question, Ryan can't stop thinking about the possible implications of it, obsession over the one conclusion most likely to (not) be: Shane is breaking up with him sometime soon.
Thank you, Satan by Squeakyshroom | E |  7,426 Words
Ryan breaks his arm and Shane takes care of him. It’s not weird...until it is.
Or: Ryan wants Shane. Shane wants more.
won't you ride on my fast machine? by ElasticElla | M | 1,678 Words
“So? Lovers’ quarrel? Work gone wrong? Bad family barbecue that ended abruptly when you accidentally came out by making a pun about your poor math skills?”
“That’s way too specific to not be real,” Ryan accuses.
A Ghoul's Guide to Life, Death & Afterliving by MercurySkies | E | Chapters 21/21 | Complete |  57,013 Words |  ☆
'Shane was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that, to quote ‘the’ Charles Dickens with an emphasis on the 'dick'. They didn’t tell you the great Victorian novelist was also a grade A asshole in high school but then again what do they tell you in high school? Shane Madej was dead, as dead as one disembodied soul standing seemingly above his own corpse probably can be.'
(a moment) by thisissirius | M |  1,437 Words
ryan is shivering when they get back to the motel
contrapposto by spoopyy | T |  7,301 Words |  ☆
Ryan works in a museum. Shane doesn't understand art. They fall in love.
meet me halfway by poetdameron | T | 12,346 Words |  ☆
In a world where everything changed over the night, Ryan and Shane's minds connect miles away, making Shane the man of Ryan's dreams. Literally.
the summer is ended and we are not saved by anarchetypal | E |  1,733 Words |  ☆
Ryan drops the holy water gun with a shout and stumbles back, fueled by blind panic as he turns and sprints past their sleeping bags for the attic door.
Behind him, he hears Shane sigh almost calmly despite his flesh still burning. “Don't— C’mon, seriously, do we really have to make this a whole thing— You've seen horror movies, you know how this is gonna—” Apparently still annoyed, he breaks off, and the door in front of Ryan slams shut on its own.
Ryan skids to a stop and reaches for the knob, rattling it ineffectively. “Shit, shit, shit—”
“So many horror movies,” Shane says, voice much closer now, and Ryan spins around. “I’m just saying, can we not make this a thing right out of TV Tropes, you know, that’s just boring for both of us.”
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bard-llama · 5 years ago
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The Witcher Fic Masterlist
Masterlist of all of my Witcher fics, updated as of June 5, 2021.
If you like my writing, consider donating to my ko-fi! I am writing gift fics for all donors.
Here is a masterlist of all completed multi-chapter fics.
Series:
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Families of Choice
Geraskefer Canon Divergent AU
Summary: The best families are those you choose. Jaskier realized that early in life, but his family continues to expand over the years.
Series Masterlist
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Cintra Happily Ever After Series:
AU from the Families of Choice Series (as of the end of 5 Dinners with the Lioness chapter 5)
Summary: A series in which I pretend everything is fine and nobody dies, and Geralt makes Cintra his home base after the feast in episode 4.
Series Masterlist
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Chronic Pain Series
Summary: Unconnected shorts in which I vent my pain onto fictional characters.
At Her Back
Summary:  Yennefer was born with a twisted spine. Her transformation had cured her, but she still felt the pain as if nothing had changed. Geralt offers Jaskier's services as a masseuse.
Coming to a Head
Summary: During a confrontation gone wrong, Jaskier gets hit with a spell that is supposed to cause unimaginable pain. So why does Jaskier seems mostly unaffected?
When Pigs Talk
Summary: When seeking pain relief, Yennefer takes something that makes the pigs in her pig pen start talking. It’s the start of an interesting evening.
Your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep
Rated E
Summary: Geralt’s eyes burn and ache like he’s undergoing the trials again, so Jaskier does his best to help distract from the pain.
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Don’t Cry for Me, Temeria
Iorveth/Roche Witcher 2 Different First Meeting AU
Summary: A Witcher 2 Canon AU in which Iorveth and Roche meet before either of them know who the other is. Somehow, this changes absolutely everything.
Series Masterlist
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Fish Out of Water
Iorveth/Roche MerMay AU
Summary: Once upon a time, all elves lived in the sea and had mer forms. Now, Iorveth is something of a novelty, one of the last true elves.
Series Masterlist
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For You, My Love, I Bleed
Iorveth/Roche angsty AU
Summary: Iorveth and Roche had been happy, or so Iorveth had thought. Then King Foltest recalls Roche to the capital, and suddenly Iorveth is left alone as Roche returns to Foltest. Roche made his choice, clearly, and Iorveth just has to deal with that. But all is not as it seems, and Roche considers everything worth sacrificing if it protects the man he loves.
Series Masterlist
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A Hard Day’s Night
Iorveth/Roche interrogation AU
Summary: Iorveth ends up imprisoned, with Vernon Roche as his interrogator. From there it only gets worse - or better, depending on your point of view.
Series Masterlist
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If You’re Good to Mama
Iorveth/Roche Outsider POV
Summary: The Clarabelle is the finest brothel in town and its located in the shittiest part of town. Follow the adventures of the Madame, Eliza, and the brothel workers as they start working to supply food to the terrorist elves in the Scoia'tael.
Series Masterlist
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Keep Me
Iorveth/Roche fanart AU
Summary: All Vernon Roche wants in life is someone to keep him and appreciate him. Surprisingly, he may find exactly that - in the form of his enemy, no less. Based on this art.
Series Masterlist
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King and Country
Iorveth/Roche divergent AU
Summary: When Foltest rejects Vernon Roche, he sets into motion a series of events that have consequences he never could've expected. A universe in which Roche's anger and hurt at Foltest remove the rose colored glasses.
Series Masterlist (NEW ADDITIONS!)
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Love Shack
Iorveth/Roche Secret Relationship AU
Summary: The Love Shack: a ramshackle cabin in the forest that happens to be Iorveth and Roche's only respite from a reality full of violence, war, and hate. In the Love Shack, all that matters is each other.
Series Masterlist
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The Lovestruck Fox
Iorveth/Roche Schoolgirl Crush AU
Summary: It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that the Scoia’tael Commander holds his opposite in the highest esteem. 
Series Masterlist
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Petals and Stripes
Iorveth/Roche Hanahaki AU
Summary: Those that felt the deepest of deep loves could develop a condition known as the wasting disease. Those afflicted slowly suffocate as their lungs fill with fruit representing the one they love. Well, it's supposed to be fruit. So why is Commander Roche coughing up flowers?
Series Masterlist
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With A Look I May Not Meet
Iorveth/Roche capture AU
Summary: When Iorveth is captured using his relationship with Vernon Roche, Roche is forced to make a decision. Stand with King Foltest and Temeria as he has always done - or choose Iorveth and go on the run.
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The Woodland Fox and The Temerian Hound
Iorveth/Roche animal transformation AU
Summary: Roche usually didn’t mind Triss’s magic much. Sure, she poked at him with it all the time, but it was always playful, inviting him in on the fun. This time, however, something had gone very, very wrong and he was quite sure that it would take him a long time to trust her magic again. Because somehow a rebound spell had hit him, and now he had a tail. A dog’s tail. Well, he was always getting called Foltest’s attack dog. Now it was just a bit more literal.
Series Masterlist
Under the cut:
New! Gen fics (22)
Yennefer fics (4)
Geraskier/Geraskefer fics (25)
Geralt getting railed fics (4)
Cintra fics (Calanthe/Eist and others) (9)
Lambert/Aiden fics (6)
Lambert/Jaskier fic (1)
Wolf Witcher fics (2)
New! Iorveth/Roche fics (45)
New! Saskia fics (3)
Gen Fics:
(They came after me) With Masterful Deceit
Summary: When Jaskier discovers that Yennefer has Elven blood, he is forced to confront his prejudices.
Beauty and Imperfections
Summary: Jaskier signs up to be a nude model. He's expecting it to be a fun, sexy time. It goes a lot differently than he expected.
The Blood of the Covenant is Thicker Than the Water of the Womb 
Summary:  Found Family prompt fills, focusing mostly on Iorveth and Roche. Chapter 1: Geralt invited all of his family to join him in Corvo Bianco, which is great, but has the downside that finding a moment alone is near impossible.
Cards Out For Your Country
WiP
Summary: In which a great number of people are convinced or coerced into posing for a Gwent Pinup Calendar.
Greg the Demon Horse
Summary: Jaskier tries to make a stuffed toy for Ciri. If only he knew how to sew properly.
Gwent, The Good Old Game (NEW!)
WiP
Summary: Zoltan, Dandelion, and Priscilla decide to go all in on a new money-making scheme involving gwent. This time, they are going to sell stories and dolls of the characters that appear on gwent cards. It's guaranteed to make a killing.
History is Written by the Victors
Summary: “Dara said grandmother’s men laughed as they raped women and killed babies by - by swinging them by their legs, bashing their heads in.” Fuck. Tentatively, Jaskier wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a hug when she didn’t flinch away. In his head, he could hear Filavandrel’s voice, the humans proudly watch these very fields grow... our babies fertilizer for their grain. He swallowed against rising bile. Against his neck, he could feel Ciri finally succumb to tears. “How could grandmother order that? I know her, that wasn’t what she was like! But Dara wouldn’t have lied.”
Wherein our characters struggle with knowing that good people can do awful things, and that everything you think you know is probably wrong.
How to Train Your Roach
Summary: The story of how Jaskier's stupid ditties on the road accidentally trained Roach.
Inspired by Her Fire
Warning: Spoilers for Witcher 2, specifically something from the end of Iorveth’s Path.
Summary:  Saskia's POV during the Council Meeting where Saskia introduces Iorveth.
It’s the Little Things
Summary: A collection of fills for various prompts! Chapter 1: “You. Rest. Now.”
jaws that crack the bones the lion leaves
Summary: Jaskier writes a song about the Slaughter of Cintra.
Life is a Cabaret
Witcher 3 Canon/Spoilers
Summary: Set during the Cabaret quest, after Geralt helps Dandelion with his staged fight, he decides that Dandelion's big comfy bed at the Rosemary & Thyme is perfect for a bit of rest. Dandelion doesn't exactly mind.
The Lion That Haunts My Dreams
Rated M
Summary: Calanthe does what is needed to protect her kingdom. Dara just wants to forget. Two perspectives on a genocide.
Marilka
Summary: Geralt knew he couldn’t claim his Child of Surprise. Destiny had punished him harshly the one time he’d thought about raising a child. He could not risk its wrath again.
Power
Summary: Yennefer had been forced to fight for every bit of power she had. So why does the power to make people see her seem so unattainable? An introspective look at Yenn during the Dragon Hunt (but ignoring the break up because I can)
Sentenced to Write
Summary: A collection of fics from 1 sentence prompts. Chapter One: Thief!Ciri Chapter Two: Kid!Calanthe
Soft Words and Kind Hearts
Summary: A collection of fills for Geralt Fluff Week 2020. Day 1: First times. Geralt gets a tattoo and becomes part of the Blue Stripes Commandos
Sweat and Blood and Tears: A Geralt Whump Collection
Summary: Collected shorts for Geralt Whump Week
What Makes a Family
Summary: Ciri spends her first birthday since the Fall of Cintra at Kaer Morhen.
What You Meme to Me
Summary: A collection of Witcher fics inspired by memes. Just because. Second chapter: Jaskier doesn't understand why people are so obsessed with gender. Why would what's in their pants matter?
The White Wolf
Summary: Geralt always gets named the White Wolf in fight clubs, even before Jaskier gave him the name. Sometimes he even hid his medallion and gave a fake name, and still, he was always called the White Wolf.
Your Voice is Your Life
Summary: “Your voice is your life.” His old teacher used to tell him. Jaskier largely disagreed, but then a djinn steals his voice. Bottled Appetites from Jaskier's point of view
Yennefer Fics
To Be...
Summary: Collection of shorts for Yennefer Appreciation Week on Tumblr!
A Tribute to the Fae
Rated E
Summary: When Yennefer accidentally trespasses on fae land, she must pay the price.
Viscount Pankratz and Wife
WiP
Summary: When Jaskier receives an invitation to a fancy party addressed to him and his wife, he decided he deserved a night of fun causing problems for people. Who better to help than Yennefer of Vengerberg?
Yenn & Djinn
WiP
Summary: Bottled Appetites AU Jaskier’s last wish is for Geralt to appear. This manages to change everything.
Geraskier/Geraskefer Fics: 
(I would not wish) Any Companion But You
Summary: I’m not your friend, Geralt always insists whenever Jaskier calls them such.
100 Ways to Love You
Rated E
Summary: A drabble collection for Witcher OT3 sex Okay, it might be more double drabbles than drabbles, but shhh
Awaken in Pleasure
Rated E
Summary: Geralt dreams of having Jaskier waking him up with sex. He finally manages to ask for it.
Bounce a Coin Off Your Witcher
Rated E
Summary: Jaskier has lots of thoughts about Geralt's arse in leather pants. And then they get stuck in a small room together.
Butter That Biscuit
Rated E
Summary: Bottled Appetites Ep 5 AU – When Jaskier awakes in Yennefer’s room, he does, in fact, butter that biscuit.
Five Almost Kisses and One Happily Ever After 
WiP
Rated E
Summary: What it says on the tin. Geralt knows he wants Jaskier, but why would the bard ever be interested in a witcher? Five times Geralt ALMOST figures it out and one time he actually makes a move.
Five Times Geralt Frotted Against Jaskier’s Ass and One Time He Fucked It
Rated E
Summary: Based on this tumblr post about Geralt frotting against Jaskier's ass in his sleep.
Fulfilling a Need
Rated E
Summary: Geralt has been twitchy and restless lately. When Jaskier confronts him, he discovers that what Geralt needs is for Jaskier to take control and fuck his face. So he does.
Gestures of Affection
Rated M
Summary:  A collection of shorts featuring any configuration of the relationship between Geralt, Jaskier, and Yennefer and the ways they show affection to each other. With bonus Ciri, because she’s their family.
Hit Me Baby (One More Time)
Rated E
Summary: Jaskier desperately wants physical evidence of Geralt’s love for him.
How to Spoil Your Pet
Rated E
Summary: Yennefer and Jaskier team up to give Geralt everything he wants. He wants a lot. Good thing they're amenable.
Howling Swirling Storm
Summary: Jaskier is a winter spirit who has always been shit at hiding his powers. But somehow Geralt still never figured it out?
Jaskier’s Words are Horseshit
Summary: The thing about Jaskier is, he never shuts up. Literally, ever. That was the first thing Geralt noticed about the bard, but he was not prepared for all that entailed. Jaskier was, quite literally, always making noise of some sort. If he wasn’t singing, he was humming, muttering, strumming at his lute. Even in his sleep, the bard hmm’d and sighed and mumbled and snored continuously.
A Kiss With a Lash
Rated E
Summary: Geralt asks Jaskier to punish him for the Break Up (TM)
Making Amends
WiP
Rated E
Summary: Jaskier is putting his life back together after the Mountain™. So what is he supposed to do when Geralt arrives at his doorstep?
Pamper Your Witcher
Rated E
Summary: Geralt doesn't let himself have the finer things in life. So Jaskier decides to pamper him.
That Wild Blue Yonder
Summary: Jaskier lives in the modern world as Julian Alfred Pancratz. When his family vacations at an old castle his cousin owns, he discovers an old wardrobe that leads to the Continent. Specifically, it leads to a wardrobe belonging to Madeline de Stael.
The Pleasure of a Good Bath
Rated E
Summary: Geralt had always enjoyed baths. Since Jaskier had joined him, they'd gotten even better - and it was making it difficult to hide that he wanted more.
Porny Prompt Pile
Rated E
Summary: Just porny fics based on prompts. First chapter: Geraskier - blow job while standing Second chapter: Geraskier - Jaskier riles Geralt into rough sex
Relationships Require Communication
Summary: Jaskier liked to joke about him being allergic to the word ‘friends’, but he wasn’t far off. Geralt was aware that he was not good at talking, not good at feelings, and definitely not good about combining the two. After Yennefer and Jaskier leave him on the mountain, Geralt does some thinking about what happened and how exactly he messed up. And how to fix it.
Rushing Thoughts and Pulsing Hearts
Rated E
Summary: Geralt knew he was in love with Jaskier, but what could he do about it? No one believed Witchers could love. Not even him, sometimes.
So hold me, lover, like you used to
Rated E
Summary: When Geralt brings Cirilla to Oxenfurt to search for Jaskier, he was not expecting to walk into a concert the bard and another were giving together. Songfic based on The Amazing Devil.
When Words Act As Phantoms on Horseback
Summary:  Jaskier gets Geralt used to the lack of silence. Without him, the silence creeps up on him and itches at his mind until he must break it. AKA how Netflix!Geralt slowly becomes more like Game!Geralt.
With Knot But A Look
Rated E
Summary: Jaskier asks tamed werewolf!Geralt to fuck him in the forest under the full moon.
Worth 100 Words
Summary: This is a Witcher drabble collection, using prompts. Mostly OT3 and family fics with Ciri.
Geralt getting railed fics:
A Cintran Welcome
Rated E
Summary: Geralt’s Witcher stamina is too much for Jaskier to handle alone, but he wants Geralt to experience being fucked to exhaustion. So he arranges a gangbang in Cintra. Featuring Geralt’s self–loathing getting overwhelmed with pleasure.
Forest of Plenty
Rated E
Summary: Geralt goes to visit his friend Mousesack for some fun and discovers that Mousesack and Jaskier have already anticipated his arrival and prepared quite a surprise for him.
I’m Yours to Claim
Rated E
Summary: Geralt knew he would eventually agree to go to Cintra. It was Jaskier asking, after all. He hadn't expected to run into his old friend and fuckbuddy, Mousesack, but it was nice to see him again.
Size Matters: The Geralt Size Queen Chronicles
Rated E
Summary: Just porn about Geralt being a size queen.
Cintra Fics: 
5 Gifts from Family, 1 Vision of the Future, and 1 New Start
Summary: Pavetta gets to know her family after the banquet.
Artistic Endeavors
Rated M
Summary: Calanthe discovers that her daughter has a habit of drawing rather explicit art. For the Banned Together Bingo prompt "Porn". Set before Episode 4: Of Banquets, Bastards, and Burials
Falling Into the Lion’s Den
Rated E
Summary: Calanthe and Eist have slept together many times, but it was never about feelings. So why does Eist propose to her and insist on changing everything?
Her Mother’s Legacy
Summary: Ciri had always had trouble with schooling. So if Geralt wants to train her in monster lore, he's going to have to do some things for her. Featuring ways Pavetta helped Ciri figure out how to manage her ADHD.
Like a Punch to the Face
Summary: “Oh sweet Cintra, you were so promising, from your spoiled princess to your stupid old king! But when I arrived, the royals were dead! Tossed out a window or shot in the head!” Ciri forced herself to keep walking past the puppet show, feeling like a fist had reached into her chest and ripped out her heart.
The Lion in the Woods
Summary: Mousesack teaches Ciri about the importance of balance.
The Lioness and the Seahound
Rated E
Summary: A collection of Calanthe/Eist porn fics. Chapter One: Calanthe positions Eist so that she can ride him while giving the illusion that she was taking him. Eist loves it.
Mousesack’s Educational Retreat for Proper Young Nobles
WiP
Summary: 13 year old Calanthe gets sent to a “whip-your-heirs-into-shape” 6 weeks and she is not happy about it. She’s also not delighted by this kid Eist, who is determined to become her friend, and sharing her room with 2 other noblewomen was not fun. Featuring 13 year olds’ interpretations of cultures, some significant cultural misunderstandings, and some slow but sure developing friendships.
O war! Thou son of hell
Summary: In the aftermath of war, Calanthe waits to feel the way everyone said she was supposed to.
Lambert/Aiden Fics:
An Evening of Frippery
Rated E
Summary: When Lambert and Aiden get invited to a fancy party, it’s the perfect excuse to dress up, dance, and have some fun.
Fuck Me Properly (NEW!)
Rated E
Summary: Aiden stumbles upon Lambert getting fucked by a plant. With tentacles. Then his brain kind of shorts out.
One Way to Skin a Cat (NEW!)
Summary: A reflection on Aiden's thoughts in the aftermath of his near death, and a realization of what Lambert must be thinking.
pretty witcher (walking down the street)
Rated E
Summary: Lambert decides to finally make his move, dressing up in his prettiest dress to encourage Aiden to give in to temptation. Before he has a chance, though, bandits force them into an unexpected position.
Silk and Lace
Rated E
Summary: When Aiden and Lambert split up on the road to tackle separate contracts before meeting again, Lambert takes the opportunity to spoil himself with pretty clothes and slow, drawn out pleasure.
Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This (NEW!)
Rated M
Summary: Lambert wakes up when Aiden has a bad dream. Fortunately, he knows a good way to get Aiden's mind off of it.
Lambert/Jaskier Fics:
Desperate Affection
Rated E
Summary: Lambert didn't know when he'd fallen in love with the bard, but he could no longer imagine life at Kaer Morhen without him.
Wolf Witcher Fics:
Ensnared
Rated E
Summary: Lambert, Geralt, and Eskel have a long tradition where Eskel ties them up. This time, they've invited Aiden and Jaskier in on the fun.
The School of the Wolf
Summary: Vesemir is old, the oldest Witcher alive. Witchers don’t retire, they get slow and they die. He knows he's slowing down, but all he has left in this world is the boys he trained, and the legacy of the School of the Wolf.
Iorveth/Roche Fics: 
A Kiss Can Mean A Thousand Things 
Summary: Fills for kissing prompts based on the 50 Types of Kisses Writing Prompts
And Ghosts Did Shriek and Shrill
WiP
Rated M for violence/gore
Summary: After the unjust murder of his team, Vernon Roche is willing to do anything to get them back. Even if it means drawing on unspoken-of beliefs from a childhood in Velen.
Before All Else, Be Armed (NEW!)
Summary: Iorveth and Vernon Roche are finally getting together. But when it comes time to disrobe, they run into a few problems. Namely, the sheer number of concealed weapons each of them carry.
Brewing Romance and Dissent 
WiP
Summary: When a spear to the eye means that Iorveth needs to take at least a year to recover, he decides to spend it undercover in a coffeeshop in Vizima's Royal Quarter. He's also not expecting his favorite customer to be a human.
Can’t We All Just Get Oolong? 
WiP
Summary: In which Iorveth and Roche discover that Roche's mom Eliza works for both of them, drink lots of tea, and slowly get to know one another.
The Chase
WiP
Rated M
Summary: Iorveth likes making Roche chase him when the Blue Stripes and the Scoia'tael clash. When Roche manages to catch him one day, something entirely unexpected happens. And then it keeps happening.
Commander Roche’s Secret Lover (NEW!)
WiP
Rated E
Summary: Commander Roche is very clearly hiding a lover. His team tries to figure out who it could be.
Deep Inside Me (NEW!)
Rated E
WiP
Summary: Iorveth longs for things he shouldn't want and his attempt to ignore that ends up making everything worse.
Devour What’s Truly Yours
Rated E
Summary: When Roche discovers Iorveth inside a magical circle of flowers with pollen that makes you feel good, he was not at all prepared to find out what they had to do before they could leave.
A Dh’oine’s Only Use (NEW!)
Rated E
Summary: Iorveth arranges for his Scoia'tael to make use of his new whore, Vernon Roche. After all, a dh'oine's only use is as a hole to be fucked.
Dream a Little Dream of Me
Rated E
Summary: It totally doesn’t mean anything that Roche dreams of Iorveth.
‘Ere Our Souls Are Ground To Dust 
Summary: After Nilfgaard conquered the continent and deigned to let Temeria be self-governed, Roche finds himself drowning in work trying to build a new government and keep an economy afloat (well, more get it back there for some parts of Temeria). Meanwhile, he and Iorveth were managing to live a fairly domestic life together. It had only been a few months, but it was going well. Then they have their first fight. Over coffee, of all things.
Every Kiss Begins With Kayran (NEW!)
WiP
Rated E
Summary: Every once in a while, there was a local brave enough to seek out the Kayran for a pleasant distraction. The Kayran was delighted to oblige. And sometimes, sometimes there were people who wanted a more regular experience. People like Iorveth, who had scheduled monthly fuck dates to work off the stresses of command. Neither of them expected to get discovered during one such session.
Explore That Which Sets Your Soul Aflame (NEW!)
Rated E
Summary: Iorveth very much was not expecting Vernon to ask about his ears. But if he's going to satisfy Vernon's curiosity, it's only right that Vernon satisfy his in return.
Eye on You 
WiP
Rated E
Summary: 5 Times Iorveth Accidentally Watched Roche Come and 1 Time Roche Watched Him
False Positive (NEW!)
WiP
Rated E
Summary: When Iorveth sneaks into Lobinden in disguise to enjoy the Imbolc festival, the last thing he expects is to deal with Vernon Roche - especially because Vernon doesn't know it's him.
The First Seeds of Trust 
WiP
Rated E
Summary: As soon as Iorveth had started fighting vines rather than fighting him, Roche knew something was up. Still, nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.
Great Eggspectations (NEW!)
WiP
Rated E
Summary: In the aftermath of Temeria's fall, Vernon Roche is feeling unmoored. So it only makes sense to track down his once-enemy. Iorveth has always encouraged his mind to bring its best and right now, he dearly needs that. He's in for a slight surprise when he actually finds Iorveth, though.
A Heart’s Fire (NEW!)
Summary: Skellige is the only kingdom without a price on Iorveth's head, so it only makes sense to seek shelter there after the Scoia'tael are disbanded. The isles are nice, but what had been pleasantly cool in summer now turns freezing in winter and elves were not made for temperature extremes. So of course Iorveth manages to get caught in a blizzard.
How to Fluster an Elf 
WiP
Summary: When Geralt, Dandelion, and Zoltan make a casual remark about never having seen Iorveth flustered, Roche decides to take it as a challenge. Featuring Nilfgaardian feasts, cultural differences, really fancy beds and baths, and a witcher, a dwarf, and a bard who are having the time of their lives watching Roche try to catch Iorveth off guard.
It’s the Little Things
Summary:  A collection of fills for various prompts! Chapter 1: “You. Rest. Now.”
The language of friendship is not words but meanings 
WiP
Summary: When Geralt is hired by the Blue Stripes and the Scoia'tael to find their missing commanders, he discovers that not only have said commanders somehow turned into children, but that the two groups managed to scare them away before introductions could be made. Fortunately, Roche and Iorveth both have their own ways of making themselves understood.
Leap of Faith
WiP
Summary: When Roche changes the rules of engagement in a skirmish with the Scoia'tael, Iorveth ends up captured.
Needs More Dragons
Summary:  Frankly, 2 dragons in all the Witcher stories? Not enough. So have some fics with random dragons! Chapter 1: Honey, I Adopted A Dragon: Iorveth may have acquired a baby dragon while Roche was traveling. Roche is about to find out.
Never Have I Ever
Summary: The Blue Stripes have an evening off. What better way to spend it than by playing drinking games?
On Knife’s Edge 
Rated E
Summary: After they assist in the Battle of Kaer Morhen, Iorveth and Roche end up traveling back to Temeria together. An injury to Roche’s arm leaves him unable to shave himself, so it’s only polite for Iorveth to offer his assistance… right?
Olfucktory Senses (NEW!)
Rated E
WiP
Summary: Iorveth typically found the smell of human exertion to be nauseating. But when it's Vernon Roche's sweat, somehow he finds himself responding entirely differently.
Orificial Business
Rated E
WiP
Summary: When Roche hears a rumor that the Scoia’tael might be frequenting a brothel on the edge of town, he decides it’s worth going undercover to see.
Pining and Poignards (NEW!)
WiP
Rated E
Summary: Iorveth may spend a lot of time thinking about Vernon Roche, but it didn't mean anything. It couldn't mean anything. Doesn't stop him from contemplating the possibilities, though. Meanwhile, Roche attempts to teach himself Elder Speech to translate the carvings on a knife Iorveth stabbed him with.
The Portrait of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon (NEW UPDATE!)
WiP
Summary: Ciri hates the portrait from her childhood that Geralt displays openly and proudly and loudly. He shows it off to everyone he can and she wants to destroy it. Lucky for her, two fighting enemies present a prime opportunity to make the portrait's destruction look like an accident.
The Pride of Temeria
The Blue Stripes are Temeria's elite Special Forces Unit. Their mission is to hunt down the Scoia'tael, but in between fighting and drilling, they get up to an awful lot of shenanigans. “He looks like he’s dead,” Shorty said, poking the sleeping form of their commanding officer with a stick. “Shorty!” Silas hissed shrilly. The newbie was still scared of breaking rules and he fidgeted nervously. “What?” Shorty shrugged, “He sleeps like the dead, it’s fine. As long as he’s not actually dead, anyway.” “He’s not,” Ves, their erstwhile second in command, rolled her eyes. “He’s just fucking weird.” “Are you sure he’s okay? How can he possibly breathe like that?” Igo frowned in worry, which wasn’t surprising for the man who had accidentally become their de facto team therapist. “What he needs,” Thirteen pointed in what would have been a dramatic gesture if not for the drunken stumble, “is a goo’ pair o’ tits to bury his face in.”
Red is the Rose (Complete!)
When Roche gives Iorveth a rose of remembrance, Iorveth doesn't know what to think. Legend has it that if you give a rose to someone you love, then it’ll live forever, but surely that can't be true. After all, Roche is his enemy.
Run Away With Me
Summary: Iorveth and Roche spend a starlit night together. “Run away with me,” he murmured, only half aware of the words he was saying. But when Iorveth froze, they truly processed and suddenly cold fear gripped him. He stuttered a correction, “I mean – I know, obviously, you can’t just leave your people. It’s – I–” Iorveth cupped his face, cutting off the stream of words. “Vernon,” Iorveth said, voice soft and wondrous. “Vernon,” he said again, tugging Roche forward into a desperate kiss, full of wanting and longing and regret. Even though Roche already knew the answer – of course they couldn’t just run away together – he still had to close his eyes and brace himself against the words he knew were coming when Iorveth drew back again. “Cariad,” Iorveth whispered, stroking his face. “Were my life my own, I would go anywhere with you.”
Scenes from Another World
Summary: Standalone scenes based on different trope AUs, but set in the canon Witcher universe.
Sentiment and Condescension
Summary:  Roche hadn’t been planning to go to the Vengelbud party, but as soon as Emhyr told him not to... Now if he could just get Iorveth to leave him alone, he could get wasted in peace.
Seven Seconds in Holding 
Summary: Iorveth is very, very unclear on how his last fight with the Blue Stripes led to him here, spooning Roche in the Blue Stripes’ holding cell, both their wrists cuffed together.
Spousal Privilege
Summary: Stuck at a diplomatic conference, Roche is frustrated that none of the elves in the room will even acknowledge he exists. Then Iorveth enters and it's like seeing an old friend. And then somehow they end up pretending to be married.
A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion (NEW!)
WiP
Rated E
Summary: Roche wakes up in a different world, one where he and Iorveth are raising Foltest's children in the dwarven city of Vergen.
These Boots (are gonna walk all over you)
Rated E
Summary: Neither Iorveth nor Roche had expected their fight to go like this. Inspired by this gorgeous art.
Time is Cruel, To Rob Us from Ourselves 
WiP
Summary: An AU of Don’t Cry for Me, Temeria/(Im)Perfect Strangers where a magical artifact sends everyone back through events of Iorveth’s past. Iorveth is less than pleased, but the insights into his character may be invaluable for more than one person present.
Under Pressure 
WiP
Rated E
Summary: When Iorveth defeats Vernon Roche, he intends to take his time interrogating his enemy. Fortunately, an abandoned mage’s house nearby provides him with the perfect toys to make this fun.
The Value of a Man
WiP
Summary: When Iorveth finally defeats Roche, he decides that such a valuable prisoner is worth ransoming back to the King. After all, surely the King's Enforcer is worth a few concessions to elven rights. Right?
To Weave The Strands of Fate (NEW!)
WiP
Summary: There is a tradition in Velen. Whenever a child is born within Velen, a lock of their hair is cut off and gifted to the Ladies of the Wood. According to whispered legends, the Lady Weavess could add the hair to her loom and thereby change their Fate.
What Happens in the Cave-In Stays in the Cave-In
WiP
Summary: When Iorveth and Roche’s fight ends abruptly because of a cave in, they find themselves trapped together as they wait to be unburied. In the meantime, Roche is injured and Iorveth has herbs that could help - but all he knows about humans is “they need more”.
Wolves and Squirrels and Stripes
Rated E
Geralt/Iorveth/Roche
Summary:  A collection of Witcher 2 short fics featuring Geralt, Iorveth, and Roche. Chapter 1: Iorveth had never expected this to happen when Geralt invited him to visit Kaer Morhen.
Saskia Fics:
Damned Be The Thoughts That Refuse To Leave (NEW!)
Rated E
Saskia/Iorveth/Roche
Summary: When Saskia gifted him a toy shaped like a large human penis, Iorveth had sworn he would never use it. After all, it wasn't as if there were any humans he desired... right?
Shared Custody (NEW!)
Rated E
Saskia/Iorveth/Roche
Summary: Iorveth wasn't sure how walking into Saskia's office to see her talking with Vernon Roche of all people led to the three of them jammed into a closet with him in the middle, but he supposed it could be worse.
What Goes Around Comes Around (NEW!)
Rated E
Saskia/Philippa
Summary: Philippa decides to give Saskia a little treat to wake up to. Saskia repays her in full.
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my-happy-little-bean · 4 years ago
Text
Patton and the Fantasy Fair (It Is The Nature of Dreams To End)
pairings: LAMP/CALM (platonic/familial) words: 3543 warnings: mild swearing, nostalgia/dwelling too hard on the past, crying, mention of blood, angst  summary: 
virgil had mentioned the fantasy fair once, in a conversation that was meant to go nowhere, and patton had said the following:
“ ‘it is the nature of dreams to end’. "
or: the one where they all remember that weird amusement park in the middle of a park; and also, patton is missing.
a/n- hello! here's another addition to everyone's favourite series, ‘let’s indulge bean in their slightly low quality, very personal fics’ — aka the series i write for when i am exclusively procrastinating on writing anything else :p
today's story is brought to you by a rather haunting return to 'fantasy fair'; a real place i used to go to as a kid (if you search of fantasy fair and woodbine, you'll probably find pictures of what i'm talking about :')) ). it gave me a crisis, so naturally i had to write about it. also this is kind of a response to one of my earliest one shots in this fandom called "a light in every patch of darkness". it just feels a bit related to it, not sure why :')
finally, this story was inspired by two songs: "julia" by reeder and a cover of "never never land" by adam melchor. both are great, i would highly recommend listening to them :")
i hope you find some enjoyment in this weird, midnight ramble of a story. it's rough in a lot of places, but hey! at least it's in this place with you :')
[read on ao3]
---
“I know a place where dreams are born and time is never planned. 
It’s not any chart, you must find it with your heart;
Never Never Land.”
-*-
“Has anyone seen Patton today?”
Roman lolled his head back against the arm rest he laid against, lowering the book he was reading and giving Virgil an upside-down smirk. 
“He’s probably in his room,” he announced, as if he was the know-it-all. Virgil raised an eyebrow and Roman huffed, flipping over onto his stomach and pressing his elbow into the arm rest. 
“Logan?” he called. He pressed his chin in his hand coyly. “Where’s Pat?”
“Well considering there are not many places where we are able to go,” Logan replied from the kitchen, “it is statistically probable that he is in his room.” 
Roman waved his hand at Virgil, as if he was using the gesture to say “told you so!”. He flipped onto his back, head once again on the arm rest, and stretched his arms to lift the book above him. Virgil sighed as Roman resumed his reading, tugging on the strings of his hoodie. 
“I dunno, it just seems unlike him to stay up there for so long.”
Logan crossed in front of him as Virgil rambled, as if his words intrigued him enough to leave whatever task he was finishing in the kitchen.  
“I’m just worried, okay?” He scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly. “Are we really just cool with brushing this off as ‘normal’? Like, usually he’s awake before all of us — this morning he wasn’t even here.”
Roman’s snide smirk dropped slightly, and he brought his book to his chest. “He wasn’t?” 
“Dude.” 
“What?” Roman sat up slowly, throwing his arms up in an exaggerated defense. Virgil fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Look, everything Patton does is laced with some sort of muscle memory. Plus, it’s not like I’m the observant one or anything.”
Virgil looked over at Logan, silently pleading. Logan crossed his arms and pushed up his glasses. 
“You are both right.” Virgil and Roman exchanged glances as Logan spoke. “Perhaps it would be of our best interests to visit him. Even if he is in there, as our suspicions assume, we can at least reaffirm our knowledge.”
“We’re going on an adventure then!” Roman sprung from the seat and immediately bounced his way to lead the group towards Patton’s room. “You should’ve just said so, Captain Books!” 
Logan rolled his eyes, but followed Roman nonetheless. Before he could leave the living room, he turned around and faced Virgil, who was awkwardly standing in the same place. Logan frowned. 
“Virgil? Is everything alright?” 
No. That was the answer, plain and simple. Virgil couldn’t help but stare past Logan and towards Roman, still marching down the hall behind him.
Virgil knew the others couldn’t see it, but Roman was prancing across inky shadows, the trail to Patton’s whereabouts clouded with something he could only describe as a bad feeling. It sent chills down Virgil’s spine as Roman’s feet pressed into each blotch of black smoke, tainting his determined path.
He slipped his hood on and dug his hands in his sweater pockets. 
“M’fine.” He spoke carefully, as to not let any echoes crack through his voice. “Let’s just get this over with.” 
---
They stepped into Patton’s room one by one; only because they were each so awestruck by Patton’s room. 
Fairy lights draped his walls as hazy curtains, woven between picture frames of varying sizes. Each happy face Thomas knew and love was illuminated by the gaze of the lights, each seemingly staring at every memory with a special kind of fondness only Patton truly understood. Stuffed animals and stacks of photo albums were scattered around every surface of his room, which glowed with the same kind of wonder that each Side was in some way familiar with.
“Ah, I am already loving this.” Roman clapped his hands together with a smile so dreamy, it made Virgil dizzy. “Padré’s room is the best.” 
“Try and stay focused, Roman,” Logan mumbled, though he was even enthralled by some notebooks sitting on the coffee table he passed through Patton’s room– enough to pick one up and absentmindedly flip through it
Virgil, however, wanted to do nothing but stay focused. He felt like a strained camera lens, trying to focus too sharply on something, anything. 
But nothing could draw his attention away from the door on the other side of the room.
It was cracked slightly open, and was seemingly the destination for the secret shadows he followed. They pooled around the floor beneath the door, as if beckoning anyone who noticed it to come inside.
Virgil had noticed the door before, but never under such a blatant spotlight — and certainly never left open. During the many sleepovers he had spent in Patton’s room, that door was merely a closet; stuffed and silent in the back of his mind and the back of the room. He always assumed it was as messy as Patton’s room already was, so it didn't really matter what kind of mess was inside it. Plus, Patton had reassured Virgil that it was nothing special; that it was just a door.
Just a door my ass, Virgil thought, taking any semblance of courage he had and pressing to his chest as he dared to march against the current of shadow against his feet. 
Virgil passed by Logan on his way, who briefly glanced up from the notebook.
“Virgil? Where are you–” 
He stopped right beside Virgil, who stood in front of the door that seemed much taller than he remembered, casting patches of darkness across the floor. Logan frowned.
“Strange,” Logan hummed. “I do not believe I have seen this door open before.” 
“Samesies…” Roman drawled, walking up to Virgil’s side as well. Logan didn’t even seem fazed by Roman’s diction. Virgil narrowed his eyes at the door.
“Not to be dramatic or anything–”
“Hey! What’s wrong with–” 
“–but if we’re looking for answers–” Virgil cleared his throat nervously– ”I think we’re going to find it in here.”
Logan and Roman looked at each other as Virgil slowly stepped forward. The shadows on the floor crawled up along the surface of the wood, chasing Virgil’s hand that slowly reached for the door handle. As soon as he made contact with the brass, the shadows squealed, making Virgil tense up as he watched them scatter off. 
“Come on, Emo,” Virgil heard Roman say from behind him. “Thought you weren’t leaning into the dramatics today?” 
Virgil gulped, and twisted the door handle, pulling the door open with a loud, eerie creak.
---
When Thomas was a kid, his parents used to take him to the Fantasy Fair; a strange, not-so-hidden park on the second floor of a shopping mall they visited every now and then. No one– not even Logan– had ever questioned why there would be a small amusement park inside a shopping mall; all that mattered was that it was there, and that it was awesome.
Every time Thomas had run under the arch leading to Fantasy Fair, Roman had twisted images in Thomas’ mind of stepping into another world. There were signs just about everywhere, pointing in every direction with that distinct carnival font – the one that reminded Thomas of the font he’d use to write essays, but with playful twists and curls at its ends. 
The aesthetics of the Fantasy Fair varied in every spot. The makeshift “streets” that weaved their way around the park were lined with mini street lamps, fake trees, and...dinosaurs, for some reason. Hung from the ceiling were large stars, strung comically from different heights; as well as large, model aircraft—one plane and one rocket ship—that made Thomas and Logan wonder how cool it’d be to fly them. The walls that hugged the whole park were painted as the fronts of colourful houses, with balconies that spilled vibrant flowers and vines from its rails. Between these walls were many small attractions; a carousel ride, small booths with carnival games, the biggest jungle gym he had ever seen– and a ferris wheel. 
The ferris wheel was Thomas’ favourite, even if he and Virgil were afraid of heights. Thomas had never understood why he was so drawn to it, but it felt like every corner he turned led to the ferris wheel; as if the world was telling him that the ferris wheel was the most important part, and that he had to follow the path it laid out for him to show him why.
It was probably his favourite because it was so bright. Each cabin of the ferris wheel was painted with bright colours, creating a makeshift rainbow as it spun around. There were lights screwed into the metal bars that made up its frame, with its cheerful music reaching every corner of the space and looping so many times, much to Thomas’ (and Roman’s) excitement. It became their favourite song. 
But the coolest part, in Thomas’ opinion, was that it not only took up the most space on this floor, but on both floors of the mall. It was as if someone had carved a hole through the floors of the mall, just wide enough for the ferris wheel to fit in — as if every exception was made for it to be there. 
Thomas loved the feeling of floating to the top in the red cabin—always the red cabin—so he could almost touch the skylight, which let light flood into the artificial lights of the indoor park. He loved the feeling of floating down just as much, going beneath the surface of the park and to the first floor, where the world’s creators had installed a small pond, surrounded by animatronic animals and a small waterfall near the front. He always marvelled at how odd it was, stuck smack-dab in the middle of the shoppers’ path, who would stop by and peer over the fence that surrounded the pond to marvel at him back. His nose would be pressed against the cabin’s windows, just trying to get a look at everything. 
Because the park, however small it truly was, seemed so big, with so many things begging to be seen and admired. Thomas filled in the gaps of this world’s story; and in return, it seemed to make every part of his brain happy. 
Especially Patton. It made Patton so happy.
---
“Holy...shit…”
Virgil didn’t even notice that Roman and Logan entered behind him, each walking up to meet his side. 
Logan rubbed his eyes from behind his glasses, staring up at disbelief. “Is this…”
“Fantasy Fair,” Virgil finished for him. The name left his tongue as a breathy sigh, an empty rush of starstruck filling his chest. “Wow.” 
Roman frowned, and Virgil noticed him discreetly grasp the hilt of his sword. 
“I dunno if it’s me or if it’s ‘cause we are technically in Patton’s closet,” Roman said slowly, “but does it seem like...a lot more different than how I remember it.” 
Virgil didn’t even have to respond to show that he agreed. Each of their memories of Fantasy Fair faded in their irises, now a smoke screen reflecting an unfamiliar space. 
Maybe it was because they haven’t because they haven’t visited Fantasy Fair since Thomas was 12, but it looked like every friendly spark of joy had abandoned the park; just as Thomas did. The faux-street lamps lining the fake streets lost their glow, and dead moths who were waiting for that light to return were now laying still around its rims. Each bright bulb of light they vaguely remembered were replaced by beams of flickering fluorescent lights, revealing the artificial aura of every attraction. The paint on the walls of fake house-fronts were peeling, and the inviting carnival font was scratched and faded, with cobwebs of now-visible shadows hanging from the bottom edge of each sign. 
It was as if nostalgia’s double edged sword slashed across the picturesque memory of Fantasy Fair; and used the blood to paint the image of a ghost over it.
“Remind me to talk to Pat about reconsidering his interior decorating choices,” Roman murmured, slowly walking past Virgil and Logan not letting go of his sword, still bound dutifully to his side. Virgil couldn’t help but pull Logan closer to him as they followed Roman further into the park. 
Logan, rather than pulling his arm back, leaned into his touch. 
“You know, I was always rather unsettled by the fact that such a fanciful place was just...in the middle of a shopping mall.”
Unsettled by a fact. Virgil winced at the tell-tale sign of danger.
As they continued down what they assumed was a familiar path, Virgil dared to look around him and wondered why Patton would hide such a grim version of the world they all loved so dearly. Surely it wasn’t hard to love this park enough that the same memory could exist; yet it was tainted in every corner, a brush of darkness sweeping across every spot. The stars Virgil marvelled at were falling at his feet, shadows chasing the spot of its descent and eating it up before he could even check for any semblance of its past glow. 
Floating in the dead air of the world they used to love, was a familiar song; now a distorted and slowed ballad through the static of the speakers:
“It might be miles beyond the moon, or right there where you stand.
Just keep an open mind, and then suddenly you'll find
Never Never Land
/
“You’ll have a treasure if you stay there,  more precious far than gold.
For once you have found your way there,  you never, never grow old.” 
To Virgil’s surprise, Roman humming along did not make it any better. 
“I do not understand,” Logan mumbled, still closely tethered to Virgil’s side. “How could all of this exist without us knowing? Better yet, how does it exist like this?”
Virgil, for a brief moment, thought about his room; how these shadows had come to be his haunted friends, whether he liked it or not. Perhaps ‘friends’ wasn’t even the right word; they were just simply there, in an existence that ran parallel to his own. He thought of the corners Patton found inviting, ones that Logan found fascinating– even the ones Roman simply just enjoyed. None of those corners would exist without darkness.
Maybe that was the case here. 
For better or for worse, they had ended up at the front of the ferris wheel. Of course. Logan cleared his throat. 
“Patton?” he called out, his voice a sharp echo in the midst of the slow, out-of-tune piano that filled the space. Virgil’s grasp on Logan’s arm tightened. 
And then, the ferris wheel came to life. 
Slowly but surely, its rusted wheel began to spin. The light bulbs lining its frame flickered, hazy remnants of a familiar glow. Virgil could hear the animatronic animals he used to find comfort in moan; a sound that seemingly came from the hole that the ferris wheel broke through, which was now filled with a pit of black. 
Lifted out of the darkness were the ferris wheel cabins; once coloured all shades of the rainbow, now darkened and saturated to an unrecognizable extent. 
And in one of these cabins was Patton,  who peered out his window
with tears of glitter and gold streaming down his cheeks.
---
Virgil had mentioned the Fantasy Fair once, in a conversation that was meant to go nowhere,
and Patton had said the following:
“ ‘It is the nature of dreams to end’. Logan told me that once, after I started having these nightmares of Fantasy Fair. I think they started after the mall security cop dressed as a clown for Halloween, and we ran into him near the carousel. Remember how much it freaked you out?”
Surprisingly, Virgil did not. 
“Ah, I guess that proves my point then,” Patton laughed sadly when he told him. “We never went back to Fantasy Fair after that, and the life that existed before we left got stuck there; all frozen in an ice cube that would never melt.” 
He averted his glance from Virgil.
“I say that the nightmares started after that clown, but I actually think they started a few months before that,” Patton admitted. “Thomas had just turned 12, and his parents offered to take him to Fantasy Fair for his birthday. You know what he said?”
Yes. Guilt clawed at Virgil’s chest.
“He said no.” Patton shook his head. “Said he was ‘too old’ for things like that.” In a more hushed voice, he added, “Whatever that means.”
He stared at the plastic stars on his ceiling. 
“We used to dream of Fantasy Fair, every night,” Patton murmured. “The lights, the song, the ferris wheel– I used to be able to build an exact replica of the park in my mind. And in this park we dreamt of, there were no lines for the ferris wheel, and the park extended far above the skylight.”
Virgil frowned at the way the words left his lips in a strangely bittersweet way. Patton, on the other hand, smiled, rolling his head to the side, away from Virgil’s sight; towards his closet door.
“I don’t think I remember it the same way now,” Patton murmured, his eyes—from Virgil’s point of view—still fixated on who knows what. “The lights aren’t as bright, and the song is not as wonderful.”
Patton sighed. “I saw a flash of the colourful life Thomas had grown in, and…”
Virgil watched as Patton rolled his head over to face him once more, his eyes now twinkling with a soft, golden shine. Patton sadly smiled.
“And then the dream ended.”
--- 
There were a lot of things Virgil could say to Patton. In fact, Patton had probably already heard a majority of those things before.
“The past is never coming back.” 
“You can only live in the present.”
“Everything is changing.”
But in this strange, abandoned park—in this strange, abandoned dream—it suddenly made sense why Patton had clung so desperately to the past, and why he refused to let go. The present was merely a skeleton for the past, which harboured the light and life within it. And without at least acknowledging it, all you really have is a dead, empty shell. 
Patton so desperately wanted to animate the skeleton by using the only thing he had: memories. Memories of when his family was so close, where every part of Thomas was loved for a specific and obvious reason. There was no darkness, and there were no greys; just bright, sunny skies. 
However, there was truth to the familiar attempts of reassurance. Everything was changing. Virgil could feel it shifting in his bones; Thomas was growing. And with growth, there was abandonment. 
The dream Patton built was a desperate attempt to cling onto the bright memories of his family. 
But with all of them so frequently divided,  the dream had ended.
Virgil met Patton’s golden stare, and then at the absence of light behind it. 
And he pushed past Roman and Logan, using all his might to leap towards Patton’s cabin and grabbing the long, metal handle of his door with both hands.
“Virgil!” Logan exclaimed, chasing after him as Virgil was lifted off the ground slowly, his heart racing as his grasp on the cabin door handle tightened. The added weight of Logan now holding onto his ankle certainly didn’t help, and he could imagine Roman would not hesitate to add to this chain. Virgil tightened his grasp even more; he couldn’t afford to be the weak link now, 
He focused his attention to Patton, with sparkling tears lining his now-widened eyes. He was silent, and afraid. 
“Please,”  Virgil pleaded, finding his voice beneath layers of the same fear. “It’s not over yet.”
Patton brought his hands to his mouth and let out a sob so loud, Virgil could hear it from behind the door. 
And then suddenly, the door swung open, Virgil nearly swinging with it. However, he managed to let go just in time for Patton to grab his hand, pulling him and Logan and Roman with an impossible amount of strength. Virgil didn’t question it, though; it made sense that Patton could carry them all. 
They all poured onto the floors of the cabin, the door now closed and the song muffled behind it. They each gasped for breath, filling in the silence in the air.
And Virgil waited. He waited for the right words to come from Logan, or the reassuring serenade that Roman would, with no hesitation, deliver. 
But when none of that came, he simply stood up,  and sat beside Patton.
Eventually, they all found a seat in the cramped ferris wheel cabin, quietly tearing up at the sight outside their window that they forgot they even shared.
And as they were lifted into the air, they grazed the surface of skylight; now letting in a small droplet of sun.
 -*-
“So come with me where dreams are born,  and time is never planned. 
Just think of lovely things and your heart will fly on wings, 
forever in Never Never land.”
---
you can read some of my other stuff here :)
9 notes · View notes
inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago
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Hey Steph!🌟Do u have any fics with smut that is feelingy, ie more focused on the emotional aspect & how they're feeling while doing it than the phy sensations & descriptions? Hope u get wt I'm saying. Thx in Advance!💖
OOOOO Nonny! 
I’ve got just the list for you! and it will give me an excuse to do a part two to another list of mine!! <3 
I do have a Sensuality list in the works, so look out for that in a while, but I think for now this list and the “see also” is perfect for you! 
Feel free, friends, to add your own!
EMOTIONAL LOVE MAKING Pt. 2
See also: Emotional Love Making Pt 1 || [MOBILE POST]
Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., Ch. 1 || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.
My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.
The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.
To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.
The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?
The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.
Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.
Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.
The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...
Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.
Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.
Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...
Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.
Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...
The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine
White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.
Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.
Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?
Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe
Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.
Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  
Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest
Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.
Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.
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newbornwhumperfly · 5 years ago
Text
if I had an orchard...
CW: intoxication, negative self-talk, references to non-con, references to punishment, (brief) reference to vomiting 
so i’m back on my bullshit, and by bullshit I mean I wrote another spinoff fic of the GW series!!! *hides face* insp. by my own ask (lmao) https://haro-whumps.tumblr.com/post/614488313974407168/if-you-would-consider-a-very-very-drunk-galo  once again, I hope @haro-whumps enjoys!!! 
the title of this fic comes from “helplessness blues” by fleet foxes
Galo is very, very drunk. 
Well, maybe not twice very but he’s not sober, that’s for damn sure. He knows better than to try and stand now, at any rate, cause the ground keeps tilting in a funny and not-at-all scary way. Like a gentle roller-coaster. Or a see-saw. He needs to keep his eyes on the not-ground right now – probably a good idea. Maybe he shouldn’t have sat on the porch swing when he went outside to drink but, well, hindsight is…better. He giggles a little bit but it isn’t very silly and sounds all snotty, given that he’s crying and all.
He should probably stop crying.
Should is a great word. Means there’s something you ought to have done. Haven’t done yet. Are supposed to be doing.
He’s fucking everything up and he hasn’t the first clue of how to stop.
Case in point – this wine seemed like a really good idea at the time, especially after the second top-full glass had been swallowed. He’d only meant to get a bit buzzed, honest. It wasn’t healthy or wise but he found himself leaning more and more on the distraction when something inevitably crumbled around him. It was only once he’d wandered far into the realm of tipsy that he dimly wondered if getting hammered was the mature thing to do.
Fuck it, he’d decided with his big magnificent brain, and swigged straight from the bottle.
Seemed like a good idea at the time, isn’t that how the saying goes?
You’d think after all the Sunday school lessons he’d know when he was laying down paving stones on a winding trajectory straight to hell. Trying to do the right thing doesn’t mean shit when you hurt people anyway. No matter what you do, it’s gonna hurt, one way or another. Isn’t that what he’d said to himself? Giving himself an out to do whatever the fuck he wanted anyway?
Why did he get those gifts? Stroking his own ego? He didn’t mean to…but there it is. He’d wantedto do something and he just did it and dug the pit so much deeper and if he falls down and breaks his crown, well, too fucking bad, Jack. Should’ve thought of that before you went and stuck your foot in it. It’s so much worse than merely breaking his crown though, his crown was fine. He’d be fine.
He’s left them all tumbling after him. That’s the sin, the unforgivable blunder which sits on his chest. A heavy, cold, unyielding stone of guilt cramming the joy out of his lungs, pressing until his words sit sour on his tongue and every smile feels scraped hollow. He’s making it worse with his absurd self-pity, feels the taut chill of tension stretch the air thinner with every meeting.
He’d heard what they were saying. He didn’t mean to – spying on people was shitty and wrong. He’d been in the kitchen in the middle of the night and didn’t think anyone would be downstairs, ducking into the pantry at the sound of voices. If he hadn’t been so tired, he’d have thought better of it. What else is new? He’d have thought better of a lot of things.
What he’d heard between Nyla and Sasha and Evan was…horrible. The stuff they said, speculated on as casually as tomorrow’s weather, dropped his heart, icy and spinning, into his stomach, settling there to thrum shallowly and churn the swelling nausea.
How he’d clearly meant to show them that things such as eating or wearing clothes or sleeping in a bed or having hair and not being raped were…privileges. That they all ought to be grateful for less than basic fucking humanity. To be…allowed…to merely exist without pain and humiliation was to be seen as a precious gift from their Master. That they all ought to be grateful.
Galo had only kept from vomiting at the knowledge they would hear him. It was the first thing he’d done when able to sneak back to his room, hurling into the toilet. Panicking on the tile until he was sick again. He hadn’t cried that night, weirdly enough. It was all so raw, bloody and fresh in his mouth, it was like he hadn’t swallowed it yet. He didn’t truly feel the horror until he woke up, fitful and sweating, from a nightmare into the cold dawn and knew he had failed.
He was having nightmares now. No more sex dreams for good old Galo – at least, not good ones. More like utterly fucking horrific. He knew better, technically, then to let it haunt him. Knew that the dark dream-shadow of himself was a twisted echo of his own pain. It didn’t make him any less able to forget the way he was trapped inside himself during those nightmares, a puppet dancing on monstrous strings as he writhed and thrashed against his own fists and feet and arms and fingers, crushing and twisting and hitting – no.
His heart couldn’t give a shit what his big-smart-boy-brain calmly explained about these terrors. Smart enough to know it wasn’t real, that he’d never, for love or money or fucking God, hurt these people. Not smart enough to know how to make them know that.
The worst part about this living nightmare was how it was effecting everyone. More and more, Galo felt trapped in his own body, unable to stop his misery from bleeding through and staining the atmosphere with red, oozing tension. He was trying so hard to keep his smile soft (not brittle), his hands loose (not shaking), his eyes kind (not wet). He has taken to keeping out of their path as much as humanly possible, a delicate dance of dodging and sidestepping which left him dizzy and often more uncertain than ever. He’s almost certain that it isn’t helping. If it was a barbell to hoist or a level to beat or a paper cup to scoop off the grass and toss into the garbage, he could do that. But this? This can’t just be…fixed.
He can’t avoid them forever and he shouldn’t.
He just…doesn’t know what to do.
He should. He should fix it. It hurts.
Galo shook his head, violently, glugging the dregs of his bottle into the glass and letting it roll of the swing, hit the floor, break. He’s gonna have to clean that up, he thinks, downing his final glass before setting it on the ground near swaying feet. How dare he? How dare he feel sad? He’s not the one who thinks he’s gonna be beaten or raped or brutalized in some sick way he probably can’t even invent but has been done to these people who he ownsand can do anythingto and nobody’s stopping him but himself. Yeah, he should feel really fucking sad for himself right now.
It doesn’t stop the deep sobs dragged from his lungs, hitching his shoulders, seizing his limbs in feeble twitches. It is pathetic and despicable and he can’t stop. He hasn’t cried like this in a long time, not from regret, not from pure, cold, hard, driven misery. It’s mixing with the wine and making him dizzy and ill and that all only fuels his sadness. Awfully, stupidly, he wants to be comforted. Feels like a big fucking kid and just wants someone to pat him on the shoulder and say he did his best.
But he’s an adult.
A goddamn useless adult and he’s alone and helpless and his best isn’t enough.
Useless.
He sobs into his hands.
Useless.
                                                  ~          ~         
Nyla doesn’t realize she isn’t alone for a moment.
When Lilah squealed, sudden and sharp, from the tub with the fretful worry that she’s left her gloves outside, Nyla glided from the basement to find them as the only one still fully dressed. She moved quicker than usual, since nobody was around to see her, abandoning a little grace in favor of haste as she searched the porches encircling the house. Only at the final stop at the back of the house did she spot the object of her quest.
Slipping through the back door, shivering in the wintry air, she had plucked the bright mitts off the swing when she heard a muffled noise.
Heart leaping into a frantic pace, Nyla spun about, clutching the soft knit to her chest like a shield. An animal? A guest? She blinked hurriedly against the halo of dim lamps and through the blur, eventually, made out the source of the sound.
Master Galo.
She goes alert in a second, less, hairs on end on her nape and forearms, as she clasps her hands demurely in front of her and feels her smile slide easily into place, pulled quick across her face as a curtain on a rod, neat and wide and polite.
Perfect.
“Good evening, Master. I apologize for disturbing you.”
She notices that Master seems…hunched, for lack of a better word, curled in on himself on the farthest swing. His large legs are cross and tucked up under him, wide torso curved over his knees. It is only once he raises his head at her voice, ringing light and soft across the night air, that she realizes his face was buried deep in his enormous hands. It is another moment before she sees that he is…he is…
Master Galo is crying.
Sobbing. Even startled out of it, he is quaking, big body trembling with great heaving gasps.
“N-Nyla? What, what’re you, what, what’re you doing here?”
He is slurring and Nyla glimpses the glint of glass, a shattered bottle and discarded cup scattered below the swing beneath Master’s feet. He has been drinking and Nyla cannot suppress the shiver coiling through her body. It is more than the air, frigid and unrelenting against her flesh, which makes her shudder. She has never seen him really drunk before, doesn’t know what he might be like. It frightens her.
“I was searching for an item I left outside and came to retrieve it, Master.”
“’m sorry, can’t hear you?”
Nyla breathed. Low and steady, once, and strode forward, drifting like one of the snowflakes until she floated to a halt directly in front of Master Galo. At close quarters, the yellow glow of lamplight outlines Master’s face. It is wet, eyes puffy, his mouth turned harshly downwards at the corners.
Her smile widens without her trying, a mirror of her Master, corners stretching taut to her ears until her lips hurt.
Why is Master crying?
“Is there anything you require, Master? Whatever you wish, I am honored and ready to be of service.”
Master Galo nods and his mouth trembles, fingers curling below his chin, as he sniffs and tries to speak. He has to try more than once, most likely due to the alcohol. The broken bottle is empty, only a few drops of wine dripping from the shards upon the planks. Like blood.
“Of course you are. You’re always, you’re so good. So, so sweet all the time. You know that Nyla? You know how good you are?”
“Thank you, sir. I am grateful, Master.”
A moment after those words leave her lips, Master Galo’s mouth crumples and his shoulders begin to quake once more as tears pour anew down his soaked cheeks. Nyla goes abruptly cold, down through her skin to her blood, flowing frantic and freezing through her limbs. Master is displeased.
Nyla is spinning, airless, icy water trickling down her chest, a frigid current swirling around her heart. Master is crying. She doesn’t…she doesn’t knowwhat she is supposed to do? He is displeased but he is not angry. He is crying and not yelling or smiling in a bad way or a good way and she doesn’t know what to do.
She knows what do to.
Folding swiftly to her knees, she leans forward, bangs brushing Master’s dangling shins.  
“I apologize, Master. I reacted poorly.”
“Please don’t say that, Nyla. P-please…you don’t, didn’t do anything wrong. You never do wrong.”
His hands, wet and shaky, fall into her periphery and he touches her shoulders, tugging upwards with his fingertips. His hands are like blocks of ice, chilling through the thin fabric of her gifted gown. She lets him guide her up and over until she is seated beside him on the swing. As soon as she sits, his touch flies from her, like he is flinching away from touching something too hot.
There is nothing she can do but remain where she has been placed, perfectly poised, perfectly still, perfect. Master Galo presses his hands to his face again, hitching once more, lurching forward to gasp and shudder into his palms. Nyla does not move or speak, presses down on the urge to apologize or offer or anything but sit like a quivering stone on the furniture while her Master is crying and wait.
“Don’t know what to do, Nyla.”
She suppresses a flinch at his muffled voice, still, wide-eyed and still-smiling as Master Galo raises his face again and stares at her mournfully. She finds herself pinned in place by his swollen green eyes, spilling tears which roll and drip off the end of his chin. He is the very picture of anguish and Nyla’s heart is fast and aching and a little sick.
“I…know I’m not, I’m trying but I…you think I wanna hurt you and I know why. Everyone’s fucking shit and, and, and you were sohurt. And it hurts me, fuck, no that’s…I’m sorry. I can’t do shit and it hurts because I don’t wanna hurt you or anyone and it’s not, I can’t make it different and I should. And you’re so scared. You’re so scared all the time.”
Master Galo shuts his eyes, rattling breath drawn deep, and he brushes his fingertips against her clasped hands.
“You’re scared right now.”
Nyla can’t breathe. She isscared. Fear courses, dark cold water, through her veins, ears thundering and swelling her throat closed. The water is inside her, choking her, a river in her chest where her heart should be, a crashing rumble against her ribs.
Her smile falters with the pain in her jaw, radiating through the strain in her mouth. She runs her tongue, furtive and quick, over her chapped lips. She lets her palms unclasp and fall open, the pooled sweat cooling in the open air as she lets Master Galo’s fingertips fall into the raisined cup of her hands.  
“Master, please, if you would…tell me what you wish, I would do anything you require.”
Master’s hand shifts further within the little oval her palms have made and something she cannot name twinges when his palm twitches and presses, like a wild animal trying to hide and run at the same time. It is the nameless pang which causes Nyla to fold her hands shut around her Master’s, cloistering it, protecting it.
It is ridiculous and horrifying and wrong, how her two hands barely enfold his one. The chill of the palm draws the clammy heat from her touch and she squeezes, once, barely. She doesn’t breathe.
Master Galo’s sobbing stops, the hitching slowing. Nyla repeats the gentle squeeze, daring, somehow, to brush both thumbs, light as cobwebs, over his knuckles. His hiccups slow to juddering inhales and then, finally, soften to wet and raspy breath. His eyes are still shut but they aren’t clenched and tears no longer flow. Though his mouth is still tremulous and downturned, the crumple begins to smooth.
“Thank you.”
Nyla’s blood warms, slows, from its frigid undertow at the words. Fear doesn’t abate but it loses its bite. She loosens her squeeze, ceasing the movements of her thumbs and merely cradling the palm now. He is smiling now and Nyla does not know why she feels like he has mirrored her now. It is a silly thought, fleeting, and she lets is melt against the swirl of wariness and concern and confusion. But his eyes are gentle when he opens them and, in that moment, she cannot find it in herself to be afraid.
“I was grateful to be of service, Master.”
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thefieryeclipse · 4 years ago
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“The Wall” Petlar - Pride Month
In honour of Pride, I’m reposting a segment from my post-series Heroes WIP as a short story here on Tumblr. You can consider it a standalone if you like, or if you want to read more you can find the full fic here ^.^
I hope you enjoy this dive into the memories of Petlary goodness behind “The Wall”!
(M, slash, m/m, angst, blood, tears, fluff, feels)
Tumblr media
(This gorgeous gif, my favourite one ever, doesn’t belong to me. All credit to the original creator, but sadly I still don’t know who that is!)
SPOILERS BELOW FOR “TONGUES OF FIRE” - Chapter 38
Peter awoke on the ground, but he couldn't remember getting there.
Everything was silent. A pressing white noise so vacant it was deafening, and nothing at all stirred but the slow rise and fall of his chest. Lying on his back, he opened his eyes to the velvet blanket of a vast, cloudless sky high above.
A sky that was... flashing?
Confused, Peter frowned up at the moon chasing the sun between elongated skyscrapers, shadows washing over him where he lay while days and nights passed before his eyes like the swinging beat of a pendulum.
Feeling oddly weightless, he picked himself up from the middle of an abandoned city street, lined on both sides by a row of neat trees. And suddenly the niggling thought that he was forgetting something important didn't seem to matter anymore, that he was supposed to be somewhere else.
He didn't understand. It should have been New York City. The streets Peter had grown up in, the island on which he'd spent nearly every day of his life, but he didn't know this place. It was an amalgamation, a hybrid, a new face whose features merely resembled those of his hometown. The city was deserted: empty streets and empty buildings lined with a million windows gaping at him like hollowed eye sockets, watching him struggle to find his bearings. There were no signs of life. Not even a car had been abandoned by the sidewalk, not one old newspaper fluttered through the windless air. Peter shivered, although there was no temperature. His faint breath shuddered, although there was no sound.
And then the echo of raised voices behind him made his heart thump loudly in his chest.
Peter span just as the sun froze in the sky, high on the crest of a bright and clear morning. He recognised the voices rebounding off vacant husks of buildings around him, just before two men turned a corner and appeared into view, one storming ahead while the other tagged along angrily at his heels. Peter couldn't have hid even if he wasn't exposed out in a wide open road, his feet rooting him to the spot as his blood instantly ran cold.
“...like it or not, Peter, you're stuck here forever, with me, and I am trying here! Are you? 'Cause it sure as hell doesn't feel like it!”
“Am I supposed to feel guilty? You murdered my brother, I don't owe you anything!”
“Yes, I did. I murdered him.” Sylar snarled, and although he wasn't shouting this time his words reverberated further, more clearly, than the others before. “I slit his throat and watched him bleed out and I didn't even care. He died alone, Peter. Scared. Defeated -”
“Stop it!”
Heart racing faster, Peter saw himself turn on his enemy, hands balled into fists at his side. Sylar stopped walking in response, head held high. And all the while Peter was outside it all, unharmed, invisible on the outskirts as he just stood there gazing at the surreal sight unfolding before him. Holy shit.
“- And I've said it a thousand times before, and even if you don't believe me that doesn't change the fact that I'm -”
“Don't!”
“- Sorry.”
The word ricocheted around the barren city. It lodged itself in Peter's gut like a bullet shard, sympathy pains felt from the shaking young empath standing before him in the distance. “Stop saying that. You don't mean it. If you were sorry you wouldn't have killed him. If you were sorry you wouldn't have killed any of them.”
Sylar scowled after the smaller man as he continued storming along the street, drawing closer to where his dream-like counterpart stood. Neither of them noticed him at all.
“Oh I get it,” The killer tagged along again, more infused with a fiery emotion than Peter had ever known him. “You've never made a mistake. You've never looked back and wished for a do-over. That you could change, that you'd made different choices, that you knew then what you know now, because your life has been nothing but a series of winning decisions, is that what you're saying?!” Sylar grabbed after his accuser, wrenching him back around by the arm. “'Cause from where I'm standing, it looks like they only served to land you in the exact same shithole as mine.”
Peter tugged himself free. “At least I never killed everyone who ever tried to love me!”
The following silence rang out loudly. Now close enough to the pair to make out the nuances in both men's faces, Peter watched with a weight constricting his chest as Sylar reeled, deeply wounded. Regret shone plainly on his own self's face, for just a heartbeat too long before it was forcibly concealed behind a mask of defiance.
Sylar's reply was quiet, but not gentle. “Loved ones. Mothers. Friends. Tell me, where are yours, Peter?”
The counter attack winded Peter Petrelli. Both the haunted man currently backing away from his enemy's space, and the spectre set adrift in the strange city that didn't belong to him. Peter and Sylar glared at one another, two lost souls forced together among nothingness, concrete, brick and stone, the double-bladed burn of rage rising between them like smoke in the air.
Sylar tipped his head slightly in a manner anyone else could construe as sympathetic. “I wonder what's worse? The thought that everyone else out there is dead; or that none of your precious heroes have bothered to look for you all this time?” He twitched one heavy eyebrow to hammer the point home. “Do you think anyone's even noticed you're missing? Or do they just not care?”
For a moment, the looming promise of an echoing crack of a punch rang throughout the city. But none came. Peter didn't attack, and he didn't make a sound beyond the pained catching of his breath. Then he tightened his fists and turned his back on Sylar one last time, picking up the pace as he left the killer behind.
“Like it or not, Petrelli, I'm all you've got!” Sylar called after him, teeth bared. “And neither of us are going anywhere for a long, long time!”
Peter's heart lurched when his other self faltered a step, almost level with where he hid, veiled out of time. He fought the urge to reach out and bridge the impassable distance with a touch, as the same vulnerability and fear that itched within his ribcage flickered over the other man's face, pooling in his eyes. But then his dream counterpart pushed on, leaving a full, unobstructed view of Sylar's dampening temper in his wake.
Slowly, the killer's scowl eased. He hunched in on himself, watching every step as his only means of company walked away.
It might have been the first time Peter had ever witnessed something close to shame from the guy. Something close to regret. It was a painful pill to swallow, like it went down the wrong way. And when Sylar finally dropped his eyeline to the ground and turned his back, Peter hurried to follow his own footsteps deeper into the city without pausing to witness one more second of the killer.
But as soon as he took his first step the sky fast-forwarded again and he was alone.
Morning became noon became night as Peter found himself lost among vacant streets and stretching shadows that snatched at his heels like fingers. Guided by an invisible cord looped around his waist, he searched with no direction, intention or idea where he was going, just a ghost adrift in an endless maze that re-arranged itself in his peripheral vision.
He lost track of how many times the sun rolled across the sky before it stalled once again, a red glimmer hanging low between the towering spires of skyscrapers. Peter stopped running, somehow not even out of breath, once he was framed in the open mouth of a back alley, the sunset staining a towering brick wall blocking the far end crimson.
The hairs on the back of his neck tickled as he caught sight of himself once again, unmistakable in his fury, stalking the length of the alley ahead.
At the far end, Sylar climbed to his feet at the base of the wall to accommodate the approach. And even from this far away, with merely one glimpse of him, he certainly didn't look like the same, smug serial killer Peter's nightmares had been plagued by for years.
Again locked in place, he watched himself stomp towards the murderer without easing or slowing down; watched Sylar ball his hands into fists but not lift them; watched himself raise his arms and tackle Sylar around the neck, winding him, knocking the breath from them both – 
But it wasn't a fight. Instead, they both swayed with the momentum of something so unexpected, something so harmless, as a hug.
Alone on the outskirts of this secret, Peter's throat tightly constricted. He couldn't breathe. He didn't need to. He was only a ghost, anyway.
Floating closer to the exchange, he couldn't seem to make sense of the bewilderment shining plainly across Sylar's face. Or his own arms holding the guy close, or the sound of his soft, strangled voice muffled in the depths of Sylar's shoulder.
As if he hadn't ever been a mortal enemy. As if he wasn't a ruthless serial killer. As if he'd never heartlessly cut down Nathan Petrelli in his prime.
“You were right.” Realistically, the words shouldn't have rebounded down the alley, but Peter heard them anyway. “No one's out there looking for us. No one's coming to save us. It's just you and me, Sylar, and I just can't... I can't fight with you anymore.”
Peter's arms tightened around the taller man. And only then did Sylar let his eyes flutter closed and tentatively place his hands on Peter's back. He bent down into the hug, returning it, indulging in the feel of it as if it were the first of his life.
“It's down to us. Alright?” Peter continued huskily. “It's you and me, and I don't wanna live this way forever. I can't carry this... this hate much longer. I can't.” He paused to chase a breath, and when he continued his voice was dangerously close to cracking. “We can't keep going like this if we're gonna survive, here. We've gotta do better, Sylar. We've gotta make it work. Okay?”
For a long time the men simply stood there entwined, rocking slightly on the spot, where no one could see them and no one would ever know. And in that reprieve it didn't matter that they'd shattered one another in the past, or that they shouldn't want to hold each other close, because for a moment it was as if the fights had never happened and the miles of blood stained history belonged to someone else.
Watching, Peter struggled to swallow when Sylar slowly nodded his head in agreement. When he then pried the smaller man away with gentle hands and an unfamiliar softness to his eyes, and just held him there close, looking down into his face as the whisper floated down the alley and imprinted into the witness's skin.
“I want to make it work, Peter...”
Time sped up again before he could see what happened next, before he was ready, erasing the men, the wall and the words from the slate like they'd never existed at all.
Day and night pulsed around Peter once more as he struggled to keep up, resuming the endless path to nowhere with less blind trust than before. As he searched vacant streets he shivered, and as he walked broken roads he worried, plagued with the strangest sense that this time he'd left more than just the alley behind.
The city warped around him. Buildings moved when he wasn't looking. Brief flashes of sunlight revealed new sights that hadn't been there the moment before. And then night fell steady and constant upon the world and Peter was somehow high atop a rusting fire escape, outside the only window in the sprawling city that housed the warm glow of light. Of life.
Helpless to resist, he numbly phased through the window as if he were a phantom, heart pounding heavier than ever in his chest.
Inside, the apartment was dark, cluttered, unfamiliar. Floating shelves lined the walls, packed to the brim with canned food while their previous occupants scattered the floor in precarious piles of books. A workbench stood near the back wall, buried beneath some sort of mechanical scraps Peter couldn't make out from here. But he wasn't really looking. Because that glow of a light didn't come from within these rooms, he now realised, but from between them.
A hidden hatch stood open in one wall. A two-way mirror that revealed a winding, shadowy corridor beyond. And the swinging light bulb within lured Peter in deeper as if he didn't have a choice but to obey.
Just as before, the two living souls in this place didn't look up as he approached them in the dark. They didn't even acknowledge him. And just as before, Peter couldn't name the mass of emotions that ached within his chest at the very sight of himself and Sylar, sitting silently side by side on the floor, their backs against the dusty inside of a wall.
The taste of horror seemed familiar on his tongue. But if this was due to the tears currently drying on Sylar's flushed face, or the desperate screams scrawled by bloody fingertips on the walls, he couldn't decide.
“It's from... before. Way before, when my ability first...” Sylar tried then faded off, as if he didn't even know the words. Meanwhile, sitting beside him, Peter nodded and took a steadying breath, caught between giving his split attention to the crying man or the ghastly bloodied 'forgive me's towering above.
“S'okay.”
“No, Peter. It's not.”
Still sniffling slightly, the killer turned to Peter, exhausted and unguarded and unashamed of his vulnerability in a way that sent more spasms tightly clenching through the empath's heart. Because this wasn't an act and it wasn't a pity plea, and as much as he hated it, and as much as the sight made his stomach cramp as if he were about to throw up, Peter couldn't tear his gaze away from the blatantly human sight of the man visible in fractures behind his shattered facade.
Sylar's voice was soft when he elaborated, thick with a recent burst of emotion that had yet to fade. “None of it is okay. No matter what I do or how many times I start, I can never get past... this.” He blinked rapidly, not quite looking at a hundred broken attempts at redemption pressing in on him from all sides. “I've tried. I really tried, so many times, and I wanted to be better. But after all these years... I just don't think I'm strong enough on my own. And no one has ever stayed long enough to...” He stopped himself again, scowling at his own self-pity.
The Peter on the ground tore his focus from the sorry sight of Sylar, looking up again upon the defaced walls. A timeline. A mural of blood, sweat and tears, a memorial of the killer's endless battle with his demons. And Peter drank in each word despite the burn.
Please forgive me... Help me... I'm sorry... Forgive me... Please...
He closed his eyes just briefly, biting his lip. “I will.”
“What?”
“I'll stay.” Peter clarified, sighing out all the tension in his frame. Sylar stared at him. “I won't leave you. I won't run out on you. I won't lie, or betray you, or manipulate you like my mother did.” Now Sylar looked so affronted that a sudden telekinetic choke hold wouldn't be a surprise. But instead he just gaped at Peter, lips twitching soundlessly as he struggled to untangle his thoughts into something resembling words. “If you're serious about wanting to be better, Sylar... I'll help you.” Peter finished, a soft exhale. Only then did he meet the killer's eyes, and there was no room for doubt in that tiny corridor that he knew exactly what he was signing himself up for. That they all did.
Silence stretched for a long time. Until the older man recovered some semblance of his vocal chords. “Wh-why would you want to do that?” The question was laced with hope and suspicion, two compounds at war with each other.
But Peter just looked at him, and the honesty on his face was clear for all to see. “'Cause the guy who wrote this?” He glanced back at the blood-scrawled walls as if pained. “He never had that chance. And maybe if someone had just listened to him back then... none of this would've happened.” He offered Sylar a sad little curve of his lips. “Maybe all you needed was a friend.”
The killer's heavy brows eased from their furrow. Fresh tears streamed from his disbelieving eyes. Too late, he seemed to notice what was happening and averted his face, tremors consuming his hunched form.
And rather than leave, Peter leaned into him, a comforting warmth. And rather than recoil, the empath reached for Sylar's hand and held it gently, surely, and just sat with the man in silence while he cried.
And then time shifted forward again.
Left reeling on the spot, Peter the spectator, the ghost, tried to blink away the blurriness stinging at his own eyes. When it subsided he saw he was no longer crowded by bloody prayers or that lone, swinging light bulb: he was back outside on the fire escape. And that same old cord, his guide, was pulling him on again, but he didn't want to answer the call this time.
The tangled mass of feeling expanded further inside with every step he ascended the rusty staircase. More years flew past within moments. And the whispering breath of wind grew louder the higher he climbed.
On the final step, darkness blanketed the city for the last time. The sky was vast and starless high above, the rooftop captured in the cool tones and hues of the illusive moment between evening and night. Shaking slightly, it took Peter a moment to realise that the whispering breaths didn't belong to the wind, after all. And through shadow he discerned the shapes of two bodies on the ground, naked and writhing beneath a bundle of discarded clothing.
He meant to jump back from the scene but the steel cord wouldn't let him. So Peter was forced to hide here in the dark, unable to feel his limbs at the sight of his own self kissing the lips of his enemy. The pair broke apart with deep, shuddering breaths, and Peter watched himself lie back and smile sleepily at the man in his arms.
Then a murmur punctured the night, sending goosebumps rolling down his spine.
“Do you trust me, Peter?”
“Why, you think I'd do that with just anyone?” The empath chuckled and pressed a kiss to Sylar's shoulder. But when the man didn't laugh Peter propped himself up on an elbow to better look down upon him. “What's up, buddy?” He prompted with another small smile, trailing a hand over the killer's bare chest and stirring the hair there.
The gesture was so natural and yet so obscene, that in the rational corner of his mind Peter wanted to yell and run – no fly – away before he saw something else he'd never be able to shake. But he was still chained in place by something heavier than shock, and the warden of fate wouldn't let him move or even make a sound. Instead, he bore witness to the exchange of intimate touches, adoration, a familiarity that he'd never been able to keep with anyone in reality.
“I was just thinking about Elle.” Sylar confessed, looking up into the darkening sky.
Peter's caresses slowed. “Oh.” The spectre watched his own face fall slightly, far too familiar with that feeling not to experience second hand rejection gnawing at him now.
“Not like that.” Sylar appeased Peter slightly by prying the man's hand from his chest to absently entwine their fingers, but still didn't drop his gaze from the heavens. “I was thinking about how... how I didn't kill her for her ability. I killed her because she betrayed me.”
Peter frowned, the ease from earlier fading. “Is that supposed to make it okay?”
“No. But it makes it different. She lied to me. It was... personal, the others weren't.” Peter's sigh finally earned Sylar's full attention, and when the smaller man untangled himself from the killer as if to get up, Sylar held onto his wrist, keeping him there. “I could have loved her, Peter.”
On the far side of the rooftop, Peter felt that word impact like a sledgehammer to the gut. Love. But on the ground, he didn't look surprised by this information at all, reluctantly indulging the other man with a scowl still dirtying his brow.
“I trusted her. I let her in. But she...” Sylar's expression grew distant then, cast back through time. “...Recoiled. And I reacted. It was... fragile.”
The empath huffed impatiently through his nose, biting his lip. “What're you trying to tell me, Sylar?”
Sylar fell quiet, his face unmasked in a way that was entirely unfamiliar to his enemy. And more than he had when intruding upon the secret closet of bloody remorse, or catching the pair naked and breathless with sweat still drying on their skin, Peter felt wrong, voyeuristic, to be spying on such an intimate sight from the shadows as that expression.
Sylar reached up to trail Peter's long, tousled hair from obscuring his eye, a painfully sweet gesture. And when he took a breath it shook slightly. “This place? You and me? Whatever the hell we've gotten ourselves into... It's fragile, too. It's special.” He gave up on the stubborn lock when it refused to stay put, dropping his hands to fold across his stomach. A shadow of affliction passed over his face. “And if people knew they'd try to take it from us.”
Peter relaxed back down over his companion, lips quirking up on the working side. “Then we won't let them.”
Sylar tried to smile in response to the gentle nuzzling of his nose. A weak, short-lived thing. “You're too trusting, Peter, and I'm too destructive and it would be easy, too easy, to ruin this if they wanted, which they will. And if we ever do wake up and all this feels like a dream, I don't want there to be any doubts between us. Nothing they can use.”
Concern ghosted across Peter's features. He climbed free of his companion to fall flat on his back beside him, looking unseeingly into the ebony void far above. “Why are you saying these things?” He hugged his arms around his own torso, suddenly feeling the cold he hadn't a moment before.
And the spectre on the sidelines only drew closer to the scene, ever helpless, defenseless to resist.
Sylar turned his head to survey Peter, shadows emphasising the heavy angles of his face while his messy hair splayed out around him, thick and dark on the ground. He should have looked dangerous lying there so close, heart rate still elevated, skin still heated. He shouldn't have looked handsome, striking in his vulnerability. But he did. And only more so when amusement brightened the serial killer's features through the slight pursing of his lips. “Do you remember I told you about Lydia from the carnival?”
Still refusing to look at him, Peter just nodded, only more confused. An affectionate smirk twinkled at the corners of Sylar's eyes. And he was even less recognisable as the brutal murderer that had ripped reality to shreds in his wake.
“I've been thinking for a while, now. And if we ever get outta here... I want you to use her ability on me.”
At first, Peter just met the man's eyes, blinking quickly at him while he processed. Then he pushed himself into a sitting position, squinting down at Sylar as if the statement would be clearer from that angle. His hand shook while he ran it through his disheveled hair, and only upon close inspection was it evident that Sylar was holding his breath.
Stunned, Peter could barely muster his voice. “You'd trust me to read your soul?” He looked unsure, as if at any moment he expected his companion to reveal it as some sort of joke. But Sylar only nodded, that knowing, affectionate smirk washing across the rest of his features. And sudden tears welled up in the empath's eyes, refusing to fall, in the moment the truth finally hit home. “Really?” He breathed, a sound so small it couldn't carry the short distance across the rooftop.
But from above, his ethereal counterpart heard it anyway. And he saw Sylar laugh a little in response to Peter's disbelief, the deep, pleasant sound catching in his chest.
Equal parts horrified and entranced, Peter struggled to believe what he was witnessing from this man and that voice and those lips: the fearsome lone wolf who'd always killed before letting someone get too close, close enough to hurt him.
Yet, he saw his other self's eyes roam between Sylar's, so close below his own. And looking at the men now, having already obliterated so many boundaries to have gotten this far, sharing in the midst of the rubble they'd created, Peter could see every scar that had transpired between them, scrawling signatures embedded below one another's skin. They'd never be free of the other. They were already imprinted, marked forever like tattoos.
And for the very first time, it looked something close to beautiful.
On the ground, eyes wide and glistening, Peter hesitated slightly before skimming his knuckles across Sylar's cheekbone. The murderer caught his hand, cradling it between both his larger, stronger ones, the hands that had spilled an ocean of innocent blood long ago. “Only if you want it,” he smirked, “otherwise I was joking.”
Peter's answering grin illuminated his entire face, an emotion so potent that his unseen counterpart hungered for it, ached for it, even just to know what it felt like.
Because he was pretty sure he'd never smiled like that in his life. And he'd never known such a certainty as he was witnessing unfold before him now. As far back as he could remember, nobody had ever trusted him that much. He'd never found that someone who thought him special enough to want to hold, to want to keep, to want to let so close that it was literally, humanly impossible.
And now his heart broke when he saw himself lie back down against the rooftop, and his last reservations fell and pooled around his ankles as his other self leaned in and murmured against Sylar's lips.
“Alright.” He promised.
The kiss was gentle, intimate, achingly tender even from the outside. Soft lips against lips, hands cradling bare skin, smiles curving against one another while Sylar rolled atop Peter, pinning him to the cold ground. Night was entirely upon them now, and the whisper of deepening, breathless kisses leaked into the air, meanwhile on the outskirts Peter felt like he was falling. Like his core was being hauled up into the air by that same old invisible thread, leaving a vital part of himself behind.
The city was evaporating around him. The horizon floating away like ash, the walls closing in upon where he stood, trembling and weak, longing for a breeze to soothe the burning promise of tears gathered in his own eyes.
He'd seen too much. He hadn't seen enough. He didn't understand, yet it made all kinds of sense. That wrong was right and people could change, could forgive, and that try as he might Peter couldn't find the will in himself to deny what he knew had been real, once.
And suddenly he was enveloped by the heat of another man's arms around him, strong and sincere and reliable. He felt the living softness of someone else's skin touching his, although still he stood alone, his lips tingled beneath the sensation he'd almost forgotten was that of another pair against them, it had been so long. And he could sense every part of that body, he could breathe the familiar, comforting scent of his hair, and somehow he tasted the gentle press of Sylar's tongue in his mouth, and he felt safe. Trusted. He felt wanted more than he'd ever been wanted before. And it invaded his senses all at once, unrelenting, overstimulating, until he couldn't discern between fear and arousal and he no longer knew where the Peter on the ground and the Peter on the outskirts collided.
Only then, the shackles keeping him frozen in place broke free. Feeling returned to his limbs and he stumbled away from the illicit lovers as fast as shooting pins and needles would let him.
But he wasn't steady enough. And with that cord now severed, he fell.
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