#as in. it's officially a series now bc it's already got two parts

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

Onstage

What - it's nothing to panic about, Lori's secret pregnancy, Shane's changes for the worse, Sophia gone for over a week, and now a barn full of walkers. It's fine. No big deal, nothing is wrong, so you're gonna step onstage and act like it. On the bright side, Daryl isn't stuck in a bed anymore!

When - the morning after Keep this dog asleep. (the night where Glenn discovers the barn in Season 2)

Who - this is part of the Slowpoke Series, which is a canon compliant slow burn Reader x Daryl. You're also Shane's younger sibling

Pronouns - she/her

TWs - a few cusses, panic, bad screenshots

References - lots, y'all, want the Masterlist?

Length - longer bc I've been awol, I've been dreading posting again, friends, so thank you much for reading. Kind feedback is always welcome :)

“Goodness. You two slept together.”

“Wha—Carol!” you squeak, accidentally splashing some coffee on your hands while you’re at it, to which Carol apologizes, “Oops!”

Glenn and you fell asleep beside each other, by the fire pit. You two must have conked out while staring at the barn.

Brr, the sun hasn’t warmed the day yet, you’re like an ice-pop.

“Wh’appened?” Glenn mumbles, still half-asleep in Dale’s camp chair.

Carl, freshly freed from the house and now officially back to the tents, also wanted to know, “What was the joke?”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Carol whispers in your ear and wipes the coffee off your hand with a tissue she had in her pocket.

That ship has sailed, Carol!

Lori smiles and shakes her head, and hands Glenn a coffee cup. “Carol was teasing them about having spent the night out here. Must’ve stayed up far too late having fun.”

“‘Fun,’” Glenn groans to himself, blindly nursing his coffee. You notice he winces and reaches for the back of his neck when he tries to bend it forward. Must’ve slept on it wrong.

“How late did you guys stay up?”

“I don’t even know, little man,” you answer Carl while reaching out for a hug. “But ‘far too late’ sure is correct.”

He returns your reach and hugs you back, tucking his head down across your neck like he used to when he was little. You press a kiss to his temple and hold him awhile longer, not wanting to let go first.

It’s good to have started the day on an up-note. You’re already on guard this morning. Less so about the genuine, bona-fide barn full of walkers on the property and moreso that Glenn won’t keep the secret long enough.

Which is backwards, but…the worry is that Shane will, um, and, and— oh God, and Carl can’t go near it! What are you gon—

“—Here, Maggie left these for you two.” Lori has returned and plunks down what resembles an Easter basket filled with peaches.

“Wait, should you be lifting heav—” Glenn cuts himself off, apparently having woken up a brain cell and remembering the pregnancy is still a secret.

You run onstage and speak up for Lori. “That’s how her arms stay so toned. Can you believe she hand-whipped the cream for the ambrosia?” Solid improv.

Lori seems to tamp down on whatever frustration she’s feeling. “It’s not heavy, Glenn.”

“Mom can lift so much, that puny basket of peaches is nothing,” Carl tells him, apparently thinking Glenn was being silly.

Rattled, it takes a moment before Lori recalls what she was talking about. “Maggie also gave us a bucket filled with tomatoes along with another big bowl of eggs. We have to find a way to thank them. They’ve done so much.” She sighs. “Even last night, we cooked the meal, but they provided the food. Meat, even. All we contributed food-wise was the field green salad and the two cans of creamed corn.”

You’ve got to keep it to yourself that by not revealing the Greene’s massive secret about a barn full of walkers, you’re certainly giving them some kind of fucked up recompense.

And like you said last night, there are worse things to be bribed with than food. In fact, you have no immediate plans to do anything other than sit here, miserably tired, in T-Dog’s camp chair and stress-eat peaches — and stick close to Glenn lest he get the urge to open Pandora’s box about that barn.

“Carl, Miss Patricia hopefully mentioned how the barn is unstable? They won’t even go near it, and we are forbidden.” You swipe a peach and have at it. The juice dribbles down your hand and chin. Carl smirks. You snort; at least he’s seen you look grosser. So, in a very ladylike fashion, you shove the rest of it in your mouth in one bite and immediately swipe another. “There’s some kind of vermin problem, too, and you don’t want none of them diseases rats and the like carry. Keep away.”

Mid-chew, you realize that you just lied flawlessly by slipping in truth. You’re not big on lying. In fact, you hate it. You don’t do it, or, at least you think you don’t? Do you?

This and the weight of last night’s inward decision that you made sits heavy in your stomach, making the peach sink like a rock.

You’re going to leave, with your brother. Shane can’t stay here, not when the news of the baby and now the barn gets out. You’ll even go to Fort Benning despite all your misgivings. Anything to keep things from imploding here when those secrets get out. Not, um, not that you’ll stay away forever from the group, just until, um…

Well, if looks are any indication, Glenn’s also busy being miserably tired and stressed. He was the one to discover the barn’s secret, first off. And he’s not good with secrets, and now has three to contend with. The pregnancy, Shane losing his temper and physically hurting you. And now, the stupid, stupid, awful barn.

“Did your head flop down when you fell asleep, Glenn?”

“It must’ve, it’s so stiff!” he mutters. “I can’t have a stiff neck when the…”

Smart, he knows not to finish the sentence and instead resumes warily eyeing the barn. You’re grateful your neck is fine and dandy, you’re in no fit state to mess up your neck or shoulder again. For real, by the grace of God, you’d fallen asleep nestled in T-Dog’s camp chair and your neck stayed blessedly straight and untwisted.

“We search for Sophia in groups, it’s all good,” you cover for him. Carl is still next to you, so the fewer questions, the better.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, but you’re restless. Seeking something to busy your hands with, you think to yourself you know what? Your friend could use a massage. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, considering you slept together (lol).

Shoving the rest of the second peach in your mouth, you consider that slurping the juice off your hand may be a mite untoward, so instead you…wipe it on the clothes you wore all day yesterday and fell asleep in…such a feminine, classy woman. Didn’t even brush your teeth last night.

Whatever, a neck and shoulder rub is the least you can do for a friend you may not see again. “Glenn, I can do you a massage,” you offer.

“Wait. Really?”

“’Course.” Let’s face it, you may not see him again after you leave. Maybe no one here, just look at the track record of losing peop — oh my gosh, crybaby much? Get your butt back onstage and act fine.

“Can you, with your arm still wrapped like that?” he checks regarding your modified sling.

“Sure can.”

“Dude, that would be, like,” Glenn sighs, then you hear Lori call for Carl, who gets up and goes to his mother. “Thank you, that would be awesome, it hurts really bad,” your friend accepts.

“Eh, it’s the least I could do, considering last night we did,” pause for dramatic effect, “sleep together.”

“What the f—”

“—Bro, I know.," you drone. "That’s what Carol joked about a few minutes ago. Didn’t expect that joke outta her, right?”

“Slept together, now I get it,” he cracks up halfheartedly. But in an instant, his gaze gets drawn right back toward the barn and resettles into uneasy, blatant stare.

That rattles you. Suddenly, you become convinced he’s gonna spill the beans before the one week (at least one week!) trial. For a few moments, you feel breathless, as in you can’t inhale enough. That happened last night, too, you figured it was because of the cold air.

You cough, inhale extra deep. The sensation goes away. But now you’re starting to get mad. As you rise from the chair, you’re more than conscious of your inner kettle beginning to simmer. Not gonna lie, you sound snotty when you comment, “Glad to see they didn’t learn how to jump as high as a hayloft and find their way out yet.”

“Y/N.”

In lieu of any new comeback, you start on his neck. Immediately and likely without meaning to, he lets out a thankful groan. That warms you, and you remind yourself he’s worried for a good reason and that you love your friend.

And, strangely, then you think back to how you did this for Daryl, gave him a massage. How pleasant the closeness felt, how strange it made your stomach feel. How he’d silently cried but was vulnerable enough to ask you not to stop…

And with the jokes about you and Glenn, you’re feeling some unpleasantly conflicting emotions. Full disclosure, you’d had some hidden and very unwelcome hurt feelings when you found out about him and Maggie. Residual, you reckon, from when you’d two had a little fondness (lol Dale) for each other.

Really, you know it’s just that you’re lonely and things are stressful. Ugh, more than stressful.

“Wanna kick the ball around later with the others, see if the girls can’t beat y’all this time?” Together, Jimmy and he have been an unbeatable team so far, and you three girls want to change that.

“Anything to make the pharmacy trip suck less.”

You’d forgotten all about that. It’s supposed to feature none other than Glenn, Maggie, yourself, and maybe T-Dog. “That’s still on?”

Glenn shrugs. “I don’t remember. And I don’t want to go today, let’s do it tomorrow or Monday.”

“Fine by me. Naught dire we need yet.”

He unexpectedly exhales in pleasure when you must’ve hit a spot he needs worked out.“I haven’t gotten a massage since, like,” your friend sighs again, and he sounds weighed down when he continues. “Varsity baseball in high school. Appa was really good at shoulder rubs.”

“Oh.” A memory about his dad might will probably spark a whole lot of memories, and he’s still iffy about crying in front of people. “Want me to stop?”

“Heck no.”

“Are you cool with crying? Massages sometimes do that,” you hesitate.

“What do you mean?”

“I meant the act itself can make folk cry sometimes.” Especially if memories get brought up.

“Make ‘folk’ cry?” he teases. "You already used the word 'naught,' too, bumpkin."

You pause the massage to give him a very light shove. “Shut up.”

Breakfast is eggs again, you can smell them cooking. The Greenes have been very generous with eggs. And, of course, now extra-generous with the peaches and some tomatoes, apparently. Maybe the thrill of yellow squash or string beans is in the future, too.

Ooh, or dairy. Oh my gosh, or red meat! Jimmy mentioned they’ve made a ton of jerky what with all their cattle.

“G’morning,” you hear Shane behind you.

“Heya.”

“Morning, Shane.”

The razzing is clear in his tone of voice, but try telling that to Glenn as your brother says, “Lookin’ cute, you two. Didn’t know this was a thing now, I thought that ship had sailed.”

Yeahhhhh, Glenn wriggles away from your hands quicker than you can whine, “Shaney!” who simply cracks up, “Just teasing.”

“I’ll tease your face,” you wish you weren’t snickering back. “And you know my heart belongs to darling Theodore,” you add in an exaggerated accent.

T-Dog, unfortunately, hears, and utters a soft “Da hell?” aaand you cackle even harder. Surely he knows the not-so-secret secret that you think he’s a catch? Too old for you, but, like. What a gem.

“Glenn, my apologies.” Shane winks. “It’s too easy to rile this one up. And Dog, don’t worry.”

“It’s cool,” Glenn answers so awkwardly.

You scrunch your lips at your brother in an effort not to smile. He’s acting like himself again, the real Shane. You don’t feel as if you’re looking at a stranger, you don’t feel the urge to stay on-guard or stay onstage. “Proud of yourself?”

He shrugs with a lazy grin. “It is real easy to rile you up.”

“Mmhm, well I’m fixing to escape to Fort Benning right now, lemme just wash up first.” You insert this little seed in hope it takes root. He was planning to go there before things changed.

He was planning to go without your input or foreknowledge, too, but he was doing what he thought was best for the group. For Lori and Rick.

Until he didn’t anymore, according to what he said to Lori.

That night, the same day Daryl had almost died, was something else.

The things he said to Lori echo in your head, the confident flirting while she was visibly unreceptive and shaken.

Then you recall the way he’s been “pragmatic” and almost irritated about the continuing search for Sophia.

Then the way he blew up at you, hurt you.

And finally, how your first reaction to finding out there was a barn filled with walkers a mere one minute trek from where your people are sleeping in tents was to insist that the secret must be kept from Shane at all costs. That the secret had to stay that way because of what would happen if Shane found out.

Maybe it’s from sleeping too close to the campfire or because it was so chilly last night, but the breathing trouble is back. It's fine, this happened last night, it ended up being fine. You cough a few times to try and inhale more deeply and ease the tightness in your chest, but you feel strange and a little nauseous. Maybe you're coming down with something.

“Lemme take over here — aw, Glenn, hey, sit back on down,” Shane insists to your friend who just tried to escape. “Heard you slept on your neck wrong. That shit stinks, man. But,” he holds out his hands and wiggles his fingers. “I got so much practice with massages from this one’s migraines, I might should switch careers. C’mon then,” he says lightheartedly.

The unease you just wrestled with lessens. This is the real Shane, the confident, even cocky, but goodhearted one.

Ooo, your breathing feels a little better, too. Cool!

He looks at you and points with his thumb toward the house. “The uh, the little one, what’s the blonde girl’s name again?”

“Soph—oh! Um, sorry, y-you mean ‘Beth,’” you stammer, all the mirth from a moment ago zapped.

The look in your brother’s eyes changes from easygoing to dampened to cold.

He tries to sound nonchalant behind a thin veil of both defense and offense. “Yeah, the, uh, the teenager. She asked for you.”

“Okay. Thanks.” You’d be off like a shot if there wasn’t another potential time bomb to worry about.

Glenn.

To your friend, you assure in truth, “He does give a mighty solid massage.” But when you lean over enough for him to see your face, you can feel your eyes darken when you hold the finger to your lips and set your jaw.

And as you make toward the house with your coffee and another two peaches, you’re grappling with the fact that, in an effort to keep Glenn quiet so everything won’t blow to pieces, you’re behaving not unlike the very person that you’re trying to prevent from igniting the explosion in the first place.

Another worry is the way you so easily slipped in and out of being onstage.

You’ve always been one to insist on truth and honesty. It’s a badge of honor you wear with pride, and even Daryl, prickly grump Daryl, has mentioned it and appreciates that about you.

And yet, look at your conduct over the past week or so. You can certainly lie, and be believable at it. You don’t like that.

Oh, gross, you’re getting nauseous again.

As you near the porch, Beth’s soft, clear voice calls your name, and she exits the house to meet you. “I got somethin’ for you. Can you come upstairs?”

“Sure. Your dress is cute!” comes out automatically. You’re still dazed and stressed. Her sundress really is pretty, though. Briefly, you consider how it would be nice to feel feminine again.

She leads you up the stairs, and it strikes you how odd it is that you have to go upstairs for whatever she’s going to give you, right? Then, you worry that it’s to do with the barn.

And you’re right.

Or, at least, you think you are. Maggie is upstairs when Beth brings you there.

The tightness comes back, so you focus on your breathing and will your stomach to chill out. You're onstage, you need to perform.

“Y/N, hi!” Margaret says this a little overly chipper, even though her appearance suggests that she’s had about as much shut-eye as you, if not less. “Sleep okay?”

“A-About as well as you, I reckon,” you answer with a hint of humor and only a trace of a stress stutter. Buying time with a few more coughs, before you get too defensive, you play it off as if Beth does not know that you and Glenn know. “We stayed up far too late and ate way too many peaches,” you say the girl. Which is the truth, you aren’t lying! You aren't lyi — nope, don't you cry! Stay onstage, stay onstage, stay onstage—

—As it so happens, now is when you recall how you are currently carrying two peaches in your hand, so your cheeks heat. The urge to cry goes away, so small win. “I ate way too many, at least.”

Beth giggles. “I love peaches, too. I had peach cobbler as my birthday cake two years ago. The ones we grow are so good!”

“Thank you for the basket of food, by the way, it was very kind.” Very kind bribery, please keep it up, we haven’t had this much available food in months, in fact, we’ll probably do anything you ask us if you let us stay here!

“There’s plenty more where the peaches came from. The season’s almost over, but we still have bushels left to pick, the hens haven’t slowed production yet, and we’re almost out of canning supplies we’ve done so many,” Maggie responds.

Beth is opening a big trash bag on her bed that looks like it’s filled with blankets, so Maggie takes the opportunity to lock eyes with you again. She mouths, “Thank you.”

For not saying anything? “She doesn’t know we know?” you mouth back.

She shakes her head.

You relax muscles you didn’t know you were tensing.

“Yay, I got it open without rippin' it!” Beth exclaims. “Y/N, Maggie and I had gathered up a bunch of clothes for charity, but that’s when things got, w-well,” she halts, unsure of how to describe the outbreaks. “The bad things happened, but, um, we, well, we still had all the donations bagged. Daddy and Shawn also…” She quiets at mentioning her deceased older brother and turns weepy.

Her big sister finishes for her. “Shawn donated clothes, too. And Mom.” She swallows. “There’s plenty to share with your group, is what she means.” Maggie nods her head at the bag on the bed, then to two others on the floor.

They're sharing...all of those?

You don’t get a chance to ask it because Beth is already answering. “When I saw how y’all looked, it was scary. The,” she starts, then stops. “Not that you were scary, I meant y’all must’ve been out there a long time. It’s scary to think about.”

“In your defense, I did look scary the first time you saw me.” Wild hair, sweat-drenched, sobbing, and covered in Carl’s and your own blood. Rough day.

But having been ‘out there,’ as Beth worded it, it’s not so scary when you’re with a group you trust. It even feels comforting to have them all. Which is when you consider how Shane and you will be back out there in a couple weeks, alone.

“Here.” Beth shyly points to the bag. “I wanted to offer for you to look through the bags first. If, if you want.”

The offer is (more) bribery to keep you quiet, which cools the warmth of the charity, but doesn't lessen the grateful tears you spill. Plus, yes, you all could use some fresh clothes, there’s only so much mending that can be done. And to be offered first dibs, even if it’s just to butter you up, is still being offered first dibs. “I’d love to take a look, thank you,” you say in earnest.

Beth combs through the bag and chats in her shy manner, handing you a barely-worn, calf-length dress that had been gift for Maggie, then a (pure wool?!) cardigan their mother had been giving away.

You find it hard to believe that she’s doing this as bribery, Beth doesn’t seem the sort to easily conceal things. She’s got an innocence that hits as genuine.

But, then again, you who hate dishonesty are apparently great at it. Who’s to say she’s not, too?

The breathlessness briefly comes back. You clear your throat and cough once.

Beth next, to your apprehension and then delight, has you try on the dress and cardigan (which shockingly fit). While retying the modified sling around your upper arm, Maggie keeps trying to catch your eye again in order to, you don’t know, communicate something via meaningful glance? But you don’t have the bandwidth for it, so return her look with a polite smile and shrug.

Her little sister then proceeds to gussy you up in a way reminiscent of how Amy did once at the quarry camp to see how Glenn would react. Gosh, was that only two-ish months ago, wasn’t it? Or has it been longer? It feels like so much more time has passed.

Beth has manages a quick, respectable braided style for your hair, touches up your eyebrows for you, and even adds blush. She then claims that your hiking boots “look okay” with the ensemble and has you use the full length mirror in her closet to inspect the full results.

The dress is lovely, you have to admit. The neckline doesn’t dip too low bonus that it doesn’t show your bruise, the waist is defined, and it’s long enough past your knees to be comfortable. The length also helps lessen the lingering apprehension you have about showing natural (*cough cough unshaven*) legs.

You actually feel…pretty. Been a while.

It’s as if she knew you were yearning to feel girly again. If this is bribery, you welcome it. Worse ways of being bribed than with fresh food and a makeover from a genuinely sweet kid. And hey, since you have to be onstage so much, might as well dress nicely for the audience.

When you’re walking downstairs to bring your people the donations, Maggie murmurs in your ear, “Y/N, I didn’t put her up to any of this, it was all her.”

When you pull away from her, she whispers insistently, “It wasn’t her bein’ nice to keep you quiet. Remember, she doesn’t kn—”

“—Good mornin’, girls. What’s in the bags?” Patricia’s voice calls from the bottom of the stairwell.

“We had some clothes to donate since before Easter,” Beth answers. “I figured they could use ’em.”

“They certainly could. I’m glad I have plenty I brought from my house when we moved in.” You can see Miss Patricia in the hallway by the stairs, clearly wearing one of her late husband’s shirts over her dress. Her brows lift. “Seems you dolled your friend up some. You clean up nice, sweetpea!”

“Thank you, ma’am. I-I do feel like a lady again,” you allow, your cheeks again warming.

“Never stopped being one, as far as I’m concerned. Always kept your Ps and Qs,” she’s kind enough to maintain. “Oh, speaking of ladies, I don’t know how y’all are doing on girls’ supplies, but we should have enough to share while you’re still with us.”

“Margaret and I were gonna look for some more on the next drug store run tomorrow or Monday to make sure you’ll well stocked.” Along with everything else on the list(s) that was forgotten when those two…got distracted.

Ugh, how different things would be if you’d gone along for that trip! None of this barn bullshit!

Again, you feel the need to cough to help you breathe better, so you cough twice and try clearing your throat.

“Uh-oh, sounds like cold and flu season is well on it’s way,” she muses. “Don’t let me keep you holding them bags all day, girls. It’ll be funny watchin’ your daddy react if one of them ends up dressed in his giveaways,” the woman comments wryly. “Now, I did intend to check on those stitches today, Y/N, so come see me later. Hersh is just finishing up with Daryl’s, in fact, then he’ll be all set to go, if you were wantin’ to see him out.”

Oh, right! Today is finally the day he’s leaving that room!

Carl, too, but he’s already out and has been wandering around outside as much as his energy and mom will allow (which isn’t very much yet).

Daryl, on the other hand, has been too dizzy and too ashamed to do much more than a trip around the perimeter of the house.

Carol and you cleaned his tent yesterday as a surprise. It was her idea, of course. She enlisted your help specifically because you twice mentioned not thinking his sweat smelled bad, which is weird, but, for real, it doesn’t smell bad to you. The cigarettes, on the other hand, ew.

“Are we not going today?” Maggie asks quietly about the postponed pharmacy trip.

With tact, you suggest, “We could all use some rest after stayin’ up so late.”

She peers into your eyes, then nods and adjusts her hold on the two bags in her hands.“That’s a good idea. I’m not up to it, either.”

Upon stepping back outside onto the front porch, Jimmy and Glenn are kicking the soccer ball around already. Glenn is keeping his neck taut as he and Jimmy go back and forth, but the pain must have lessened.

The irresistible urge you have to make light of everything seizes you, and you leap into matchmaker mode because, why not? You won’t be here much longer, and maybe Maggie and Glenn linking up will lead to the rest being permitted to stay. That’s what matters.

Oh, and, uh, because you love Glenn, and Maggie is kind…oh fuck, are you just a calculating, cold strategist?

The feeling that you’re running out of air and going to vomit returns, but you push yourself onstage and commit to the role. You have to keep your shit together.

“Ain’t he handsome when he plays? Good sportsmanship and confidence rolled into one.” You playfully hold a smile back when you glance at Maggie and giggle to hide your heavy breathing. “Also the shiny hair.”

“He does have great hair,” she softly agrees.

“Y/N, do you and Glenn like each other? I-I thought…” Beth’s face has paled.

Maybe that’s why you over-act when you exclaim, “Of course I like him, that’s why I’m such a great wingwoman for him.”

Margaret blushes. “Let’s get these bags to their camp.”

------------------------------

Him

------------------------------

“I can’t hunt?”

“You can do as you please,” the old man remarks. What, is he making fun of him? “But doing so while recovering from a concussion would be foolish, as would be heavy lifting or other strenuous activity, and that’s not considering your collarbone and ribs. I’m curious as to how you’d wield your weapon or bring back what you hunted, for one, if you would even make it off the property without keeling over.”

Daryl bites his tongue and keeps his words to himself. Well, fine! I can still bring that little girl back. She’s got legs, she’ll be able to walk on her own.

Hershel cleans up his stuff and stands. “Now, then, I’m sure you’re ready to finally see yourself out.”

“Damn straight,” is probably not the smartest response in front of the old man, what with the cuss word, but damn straight he is ready to get the hell out of there. Still, he remembers his manners. “Thanks for everythin’.” He even holds out his hand for a shake. Which is dumb because the guy’s hands are full.

Daryl…puts his hand back down and grabs the few things he had in there with him. Y/N once described the Dr. Farmer as ‘unreadable.’ Definitely is that.

Unreadable, Hershel drawls, “It’s good you’re on the mend,” and inclines his head toward the door. “After you.”

------------------------------

You

------------------------------

Dude, you had a panic attack.

It wasn’t too too bad, all things considered. Initially, you’d thought it was a mild asthma attack, but in hindsight, wow you were oblivious to all of the signs.

It started to happen when some of the group was going through the clothes, right after Maggie and you dropped them off and she left to do choring.

Lori was beside you, low-key beside herself trying to figure out how your people could “ever repay the family now?”

Next, T-Dog joked about the sizes being too small for him. “Ain’t sure what here I could fit that won’t result in a show for y’all.”

This is when Andrea murmured to Carol, “Reminds me how it’s been awhile.” The way Carol reacted clued you in that it might have been a sex joke. Especially given the way Andy next gave your brother a once-over as if you weren’t right there. You vividly recall licking your teeth and rolling your eyes.

Then Shane — and he did this without having seen Andrea do the once-over — nudged T-Dog in the ribs and began to unbutton his own top. “Worse things than a show these days, friend. And that there clean shirt is calling my name.” Naturally, he proceeded to swap garments right where he stood.

Per usual, Lori was more graceful than you. She ignored it as if he were her own brother acting like a frat boy, and merely continued to sift through one of the bags. She smiled upon finding something, tapped Carol on the shoulder, and handed it to her.

It’s been a week now since Shane betrayal to her and Rick. Even you’re still figuring out how to see him. The hopeful part is that he’s been leaving Lori alone. If his sights have indeed turned to Andrea, all the better.

Back to the moment, then you imagined what if he and Andrea got a little too close, did something foolish, and she ended up pregnant, too. Not that Lori’s baby is Shane’s, the baby is Rick’s regardless, but...

The tight feeling returned in your chest.

It was in the midst of this that Dale complimented you. “Kiddo, you’re all gussied up! Any occasion?”

“Mmhm, all dressed up for the ‘show.’” The nausea was back, plus a fun new notion of being observed by unseen persons.

Dale just nodded with raised brows, and you and he shared a look. Instead of tempering your fears, it piqued them. It wasn’t his fault, but Mr. Horvath’s expression started to mirror the way he stared into your eyes after catching Shane lose his temper and leave you with a bruise on your sternum.

The fears within you, the stress, the dread, all started roiling stronger and stronger. You cleared your throat, then coughed, but it didn’t help and you felt restless and, oddly, cornered.

And so, not knowing where to look therefore looking in all directions, you happened to spy Glenn staring at the barn. Again.

The air felt too…thin? And then you noticed Lori examining the torso of one of the shirts in the bag as if testing it for stretchiness or room. You could see the shadows clouding her face right before she abruptly put the shirt down. Then, there was Carol, holding up something that had clearly must have been Beth’s a few years ago, and it looked as if it would fit Sophia perfectly now.

It was just about then that your lungs simply couldn’t keep up.

“Kiddo?” sounded in your ear.

You may have panted something to do with “puffer,” referring to your largely unused inhaler. At any rate, instead of next going to the logical location of the RV to find the med bag, you made for the treeline. You didn’t want anyone near you, didn’t want anybody to see you, didn’t want a fuss, didn’t want to be touched, didn’t want anyone to even think about you, so you had to hide.

Panting, a numbness started to affect your fingers and spread to your torso and toes. You repeatedly coughed in an effort to break up whatever was making it hard to breathe. Once you started coughing, it dominoed. Your stitches were tugging at the forceful coughs, and soon, you were hacking. The hacking led to retching, one, two, three times. Tears started to fall.

“Baby, here,” came from your right and a warm, delicate hand touched the small of your back. Lori. She pressed the inhaler into your hand. “I shook it up, it’s all ready.”

Bending forward slightly to open your airways, you tried to exhale enough so you could take the dose properly as you clasped the trigger.

One puff. Hold breath in.

Your pulse thudded in your ears.

Another puff. Hold breath in.

The relief that usually comes with the medication wasn’t as apparent as it normally would be. It helped somewhat, but. You tried another dose.

More tears of frustration. You panted that you thought your were going to pass out. "F-Feels like m'gonna die," you may have also said. The phantom sensation of your hand being covered in Amy's blood returned. You recall wiping it with the hem of your dress, and Lori taking your hands, preventing you from continuing to do so.

Lori calmly instructed you to, “Try this with me, honey,” and slowly breathed in through her nose. You copied as best you could.

She then slowly breathed out through her mouth. You copied as best you could.

Over and over she coached you.

Things started to ease. Your pulse was still loudly thumping, but two doses of a corticosteroid will do that. In your escape, you’d made for the big rocks where you’d shared (sort of) a cigarette with Daryl. The stones felt nice and cool, and Lori’s gentle rubbing of her hand across your back was comforting.

“Been a while since you’ve needed the inhaler. ‘Decorative,’ you called it once,” she softly chatted. The sensation of not getting enough air wasn’t quite gone just then, but you felt pretty normal again.

“I reckon the cold and the smoke must’ve done me in,” you mumbled. Your throat was mildly sore after all the coughing. “It’s good it was mild.”

“Were you wheezing?”

“No, I…just couldn’t breathe enough or something.” You shrugged. “I don’t always wheeze when I need it.” Your nose was stuffy from crying.

She was thoughtful for a moment, and had begun to lightly scratch your back. “You and Glenn seem off this morning. I’ve seen you two tired before, but today you both seem…there’s something else going on, clearly. Did you two fight?”

“Not exactly.” It’s true. “We’re on the same page.” You weren't prepared to have to go onstage again, but just in case, you tried pulling yourself together.

“Was it about Maggie?”

You laughed genuinely. “Ha, not at all.”

Lori didn’t mirror your laughter or even smile in return. “Honey, I think you had a panic attack.”

At first, you protested. “Oh, it wasn’t that dramatic.”

“It looked different from where I was. But even still, it didn’t have to be or feel ‘dramatic’ to have been one, you know that.” The nonjudgemental straightforwardness in her voice, in her eyes, was enough to convince you that she could see straight into your heart and read what was there. “Y/N, is there something more going on?”

More than anything, at that moment, you didn’t want to lie to her.

But what could you do? Tell the truth, yes, 'the truth will out,' you know that. But you were convinced that telling the whole truth, right then, would be like lighting dynamite.

In your view, you would be exposing everyone to chaos and even violence, and you'd all seen too much of that already. And no, you couldn’t just tell one person because it never just stays with one person. Lori was/is not in any position to have more fear on her plate.

So what did you do?

You crawled back on that stage and you lied — by telling the truth.

“I’m worried he’ll talk.” Vague and a lie of omission, and maybe a little throwing your friend under the bus, but Lord have mercy on you, it was truthful.

Lori squeezed her eyes shut. “Me, too. Oh honey, I’m so scared!” she whispered, covering her mouth.

So scared of Shane, just like you are. “Rick won’t hold any of it against you. We all thought he was dead.”

She shook her head and stared at the ground.“But you saw how Shane behaved, you, you heard the things he said, Y/N,” she nearly hissed. “I don’t know who that man was, but it wasn’t Shane, just like when he had m—” then Lori cut off.

“When he had what?”

She shook her head again. “Seems Dale’s on his way over. He told me about what was going on so I could bring your medicine to you. He hadn't known what 'puffer' meant." And —oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry that you’re worrying yourself like this over my mistake! It's not fair to you.”

“Your kid ain’t a mistake, it’s so good that they’re here,” you replied in total honesty. First time all day.

Maybe she’ll be honest with you and spill whatever Shane did that she’s not being upfront about. Whatever it is could surely have been described in a sentence. “What else did Shane do, Lore?” It can’t have been that bad, or could it?

All she did was shake her head once more. “Like you said, he hasn’t been himself.

‘Hasn’t been himself.’ Fine. You’ve got secrets, too, so there’s no way on earth can you cast stones.

You stepped back onstage for hopefully the final time, and made yourself deliver the next lines. “That’s why we’re goin’ to Fort Benning.” Without you all. “Just him and me. Within two weeks, I hope?” The nausea still hadn’t gone away, and simply saying this brought it back.

Her brows sunk caution. “When was this decision made? I-I thought—”

“—I ain’t told him about it yet.” The bitter smile, you hadn’t been able to stifle. “Shouldn’t be hard to convince him, considering he was fixing to not so long ago.”

Lori’s apologetic tone wasn’t a put-on. “I’m so sorry he didn’t tell you. I had no idea you were left in the dark.”

That’s when some tightness came back to your chest, and your breathing turned faster again. “I know, Lore.”

She noticed. “Honey, hey,” she soothed, “breathe slowly, deeply." Her hand cupped your cheek. "His mistakes, his choices, his reactions are not your responsibility.”

“I know, b-but—”

“—And you don’t have to leave with him if you don't want to.”

“But wh—”

“—No buts.” Lori cupped your cheek, stood, and swiftly made toward Dale.

And here is where you hadn’t known she was going to be quite so straightforward with him.

In fact, you’d hoped she’d join you onstage and lie, too, but she behaved beyond reproach. “It was a panic attack, so please make sure to respect her privacy about it. I’ve got to check on the laundry.”

------------------------------

Him

------------------------------

Funny thing, he’s wearing the same clothes he had his accident in. He’s in the same stuff leaving that he had been when he got carried in there, except now they’re cleaned and mended.

It’s been good to be back outside, he prefers it. He can’t wrap his head around why some people can keep inside in front of a TV all day. You don’t get to hear or feel the wind indoors, can’t hear the birds and all that.

Now, he couldn’t say for sure, but stepping outside and knowing he didn’t have to go back in must feel at least half as good as getting freed from prison.

If prison was a nice-ass farmhouse without the risk of getting shanked or worse, obviously.

Merle would have some words if he heard Daryl say something like that out loud. Though, Merle was pretty settled when he was in lock-up. Fared fine.

His first view when he steps out into freedom is of Glenn and the teenage boy, kicking the ball around. Those two are straight into it and pay him no mind as he walks around them.

The rest of the group is around the picnic table, looks like they’re sorting laundry (?), therefore ain’t paying him no mind, either.

Phew.

This is good. He was wondering if Y/N was gonna parade him out or make it a big deal, but after hearing her and the other ladies talking in the hallway, she didn’t come back in. Works for him, he doesn’t like a crowd.

…But, like, where is she? He figured she’d be around, is all, but she ain’t by the table.

Ah, yeah, duh — she's probably still doing something with the girl that's about her age and her little sister. Still seems off Y/N and Glenn are only “five or six years younger” than him, but that’s what Y/N has said a few times.

The next thing he sees is Lori, who is swooping down the yard and toward the big rocks where he and T-Dog took a smoke break once. And where Y/N had her first try of a cigarette, too. Lori looks like a woman on a mission, damn. Dale is staring in the direction Lori is walking, those big-ass brows of his slanted downward. Wonder what that's about?

Over the sound of a few leftover end-of-season cicadas, he hears the normal drone of crickets, light talking from the group, the thunk of the ball getting kicked, a very loud crow, some cows mooing, somebody coughing, birds doing their thing, chickens clucking, the wind blowing. Mmm, good stuff. Being inside and hearing it just don’t sound as good as being right out in it.

Then, “Daryl!” comes from his left, and he sees Carol walking to him. She’s a good woman.

And now the memory of her kissing him on the cheek is making his cheeks heat up as quick as her steps toward him.

“I’ll carry those for you,” she quietly insists about his small pile of clothes. He lets her.

She’s been very, um, very attentive. Been having most of her meals with him, babying him as much as he’d allow, and all-in-all has been treating him extra after he had his accident.

There are more coughing sounds that he almost pegs as being Y/N’s, but when he looks back in the direction of the noise, there’s no one, just Lori off on her walk, and it wasn’t her doing the coughing.

“We moved your tent closer to the rest of us, so you would be closer to where we could help you.”

Closer. Great. Daryl wanted nothing less, but a kind gesture is a kind gesture, so he mans up and acts proper, grunting, “Thank you.” It’s not like they went and messed with his stuff, they just moved the tent, and for a real kind reason.

Glenn rears and kicks, sending the ball soaring. Damn, he's good.

“Now, it may smell and look a little different, but all of your things are still there.”

“Huh?” What’d she mean?

“You deserved a nice, clean place to go back to,” Carol explains. “Y?N and I cleaned up your tent.”

…

...

…they what?

He gets the weirdest image of himself as being onstage and forgetting whatever it was he was supposed to say next, leaving him standing there like a mouthbreather in front of the audience. And he kinda wants to cuss the audience out.

His first idea after learning Carol and Y/N was: What the hell, y’all been messing with my stuff? What gives y'all the right?

But, come on, even he had it in him to keep his mouth shut. They’d taken the time and effort to clean up his shit and it was probably as nice as when Carol had worked her magic in the RV. That's damned decent, in fact.

So, Daryl does not act like a jackass, and instead, remembers his lines and thanks Carol again.

“It was no trouble. How about I bring you some more breakfast once you’re settled in?” she quickly offers. See? Very attentive. And he didn’t do shit to have earned it, which made it more uncomfortable.

Aw shit, his cheeks feel all warm again. First around Y/N, now Carol? Maybe there is something to this whole concussion bullshit.

Or, maybe Carol done kissed you on the cheek and said you were a good man and that you did right by her little girl as much as a father should and that’s the best possible thing somebody could be told.

“Do you want some more coffee, too?”

I wanna to be left alone, lady. “Nah, m’great. Thank you.”

------------------------------

You

------------------------------

“Last night seemed to be an indication summer was officially over. But today,” Dale blows through his lips, “Well, we can already tell it’ll be a warm one.”

“Did we hit the first day of fall, yet? I forgot what date it is today.”

“No, that’s on the 21st. We’ve got some time.”

“Oh, wait!” you squeak (ouch, your throat is still sore from coughing). “Ain’t it the Holy Days for you still?” Rosh Hoshanah was sometime last week, but that one got sort of messed up because of everything that’s been going on.

Oh man, it was the day after Daryl got into his accident, wasn’t it?

Dale’s cordial expression falters. “Yes, it was last week.”

“Yom Kippur is soon then, right?”

“It’s on the 18th this year, yes. Two days away.”

There’s this very insistent raven that’s been cawing away. Or is that a crow? You can’t tell the difference. You can tell that you’ve bummed Dale out, however. “I’ve bummed you out.”

Smiling sadly, he concedes, “Jewish holidays are usually lonely ones in mixed company. And now, especially with it being the holiest time of the year, after everything…” He lifts his shoulders.

“I’ll do the fasting with you so you won’t be alone!” Ow, stop raising your voice so high. “Is it no food or drink at all on that day, or is water okay?”

A happier smile. “No food or drink — barring serious health concerns, of course, in which case, one is required to not fast.”

“No water must suck! When my lot do fasting, water don’t count.”

He nods his head once. “It’s all part of the atonement. It’s considered a blessing for us to fast for it.”

“And the feast after it is fun,” you sigh with a grin. You’ll enlist Carol and Lori to see about making him a yummy fast-breaking meal for the day.

This is what you needed. Dale didn’t press you regarding the panic attack, and has simply been keeping you company by the big rocks. You’ve haven’t had to go back onstage while he’s been sitting with you. You’d probably be content to stay here a good, long time if you didn’t have to use the toilet something major.

“Did you see if there was a pair of suspenders in the bags so you and Mr. Greene can match?”

“Is this your way of saying you’re feeling well enough to head back, or that you need privacy?”

“It’s my way of sayin’ I gotta go potty real bad.” You stand. “Suspenders are pretty cool, you can party like it’s 1899.”

“I actually quite like how suspenders look,” he chuckles, stretching and getting to his feet.

“Mm, they remind me of the Old West, I love ’em.”

Dale and you walk back until reaching the side of the farmhouse, whereupon you excuse yourself to head to the treeline and do your business.

------------------------------

Him

------------------------------

As soon as the heat starts to sink in, he unbuttons his shirt halfway and kicks his shoes off. Getting the socks off without hurting himself takes some effort, but it’s worth it. His stuff is so squeaky clean and fresh, he wants to avoid sweating the place up too quick.

His old pillowcase is gone, probably scrapped for dishrags seeing as it was pretty worn. In its place is a flower-covered one with soft, thick cotton fabric. There's some phrase about a 'woman's touch' that must apply here. Or, if Merle were here, prime Darylina ammo. Joke's on him, the pillowcase is soft as hell.

And being in there might seem boring, but it's 10 times better than being stuck in a damn bed and listening to music for days on end. Just cloud-watching through his tent window is fun enough for him.

In fact, it’s rad! He’s so psyched to not be in that room anymore!

Cloud watching, playing with his bolts, farting if he's gotta; he's content as can be. Seriously, he’s in such a good mood right now.

But as luck would have it, by the time he’s decided to see how easily a bolt can poke a hole through the mesh window (the answer is very easily, and it’s real satisfying) none other than Andrea herself appears at his tent door. The chick who shot him.

Now, she’s pretty as a picture and then some, but he doesn’t want his belly showing in front of her. If he’d been paying attention and heard her making her way to him, he would’ve buttoned up.

So, he tries out the same tactic as last night, when Carol walked in on him shirtless; maybe by not closing his shirt, she wouldn’t think about it? Or…fuck it, just about everybody has seen some part of him uncovered in the past week. At least there ain’t no scars on this side.

All he’s got to do is make like he’s onstage and that it doesn’t bother him having his literal nipples on display.

“Hey.” Andrea steps into his tent, looking like she is about to eat crow.

She hands him a book. He accepts the maybe peace-offering.

“It’s not that great, but…” she trails off, breathes out, and looks guilty as hell.

Y/N, Carol, and T-Dog all mentioned she’s been kicking her own ass for shooting him. Granted, he’s still a little pissed, and, yeah, real thankful that she’s a shit shot, but — she was trying to protect the group, right? Ain’t even her fault he got stuck in that damn bed. The concussion, split side, and broken ribs did that for him.

He figures he’s gotta make it clear that she’s off the hook without making her feel worse for being let off the hook. And, he thinks he knows just the way to break the tension. It’d got the librarian at his high school to laugh the first time he made the remark, which is probably why he was usually allowed to eat in there during lunch.

Now, he knows reading is still on the no-go list, don’t worry, Y/N, but he casually holds the book up and flips through the pages.

He’s gotta, it’s the setup.

It’s good that Andrea ain’t said nothing yet, because it’s the perfect opportunity for him to pretend to be dead-serious when he complains, “What, no pictures?”

The joke does the trick. Andrea smiles and relaxes. “I’m so sorry. I feel like shit,” she starts to go on, but he puts a stop to it.

Tucking the book aside as he settles down onto the pillow, he cuts in, “You and me both.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but, if there’s anything I can do, I—”

He cuts in one more time, “—You were trying to protect the group. We’re good.” He means it.

But, ya know, just because things are chill doesn’t mean he can’t bust her balls a little, right? “But hey,” he stops her as she’s leaving. “Shoot me again, you best pray I’m dead.”

------------------------------

You

------------------------------

“It went great! Better than I ever expected.” Andrea takes a seat beside you on the log. Judging by the look of serenity on her face, it appears that the monkey she’s had on her back for the past week is finally gone.

“Good, m’glad.” You knew it would be fine, but Andrea was so nervous.

“And I have to say, I can see the appeal now.”

“What appeal?”

“Daryl was,” she thinks on the right word and picks: “Charming.”

Ah. You see what she’s trying to do. “Well, go tell him that, then,” you suggest, cool as a cucumber. She and Dale thought you and he had a romantic thing going on. Lol, nah.

“And he was funny!” she goes on.

You sip your tea. “Mm, he can be.”

“Not angry, or, or nasty.” She closes her eyes and breathes out a sigh of relief. “I was so worried about how it was going be.”

You tilt your head in partial agreement. He can be a dick.

Your job for the rest of the day, so Papa Dale done told you, is to be chill (yes, he used the word ‘chill’ and it was adorable). It’s your only responsibility today, seeing as he joined you when you went to check the highway spot for Sophia. She hasn’t found it, it’s untouched. Again.

So now, your job = keep chill.

“Are you helping with target practice later?”

Oh, right, and there’s that. You suppose you could continue helping Beth with drawing her weapon smoothly, keep drilling her never, ever forget to switch the safety back and forth.

But…maybe today, that isn’t your job. Maybe you need a rest from being onstage. “I think I’m gonna sit today out.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I just need a day,” you answer in too high a pitch.

Andy doesn’t inquire further. “How’s the little fuzzball?” she instead asks.

“Still sleeping,” you coo. The sluggish little chick you’d scooped up while quickly sprinkling feed-corn in order to feel useful is your insurance for keeping chill. Can’t not keep chill with a chick asleep in your lap.

“It must feel nice and safe wrapped up like that.”

“Mm.” The chick is nestled in a dishtowel, half its body also covered by your new cardigan.

“Y/N, have you not gone to visit him yet?”

“Not yet. He’d appreciate some time to himself, I reckon, after a week bein’ stuck in there and visitors and checkups at all hours.”

Glenn’s off doing farm chores with Jimmy, so he’s being kept busy and won’t be a concern. As for you, you’ve got your sleepy chick and are content to stay here on the log. You ate lunch, yet another peach (you’re up to six), just finished the leftover raspberries, and are now washing it all down with some fresh mint tea you made in honor of one of your best friends. She’d make her own mint tea and would call it ‘wild mint’ tea because it sounded exotic.

When Dale mentioned today’s date, you realized it was her birthday. She was the most confident girl you’d ever met, and a sweetheart to boot. You really hope she’s alive.

Andrea chuckles to herself. “I gave him that terrible book to keep him occupied.”

Book?? “A book?”

“I brought him The Case of the Missing Man,” she shares with a grin. “He can join the survivor’s club of those who’ve read it — Y/N, is something wrong?”

“Oh, um, nah, it’s all good, uh,” you are fumbling so hard right now. Cool, you’re feeling lightheaded again, cool cool.

It’s all cool. There’s no fire. Stay chill. “I’m gonna pop over and make sure he ain’t cracked into it yet, he’s, it’s, it’s not safe yet. C-Concussion and all.” Listen to you, smooth like butter.

“Oh shit.”

“Andy, don’t sweat. Even if he did start on it, like,” and you pause, because, “I don’t actually know what can go wrong, I didn’t ask Miss Patricia, but I’m sure it ain’t nothing serious!” You cup the (awoken and now loudly peeping) chick between your hands as you book it (pun intended?) to Daryl’s tent.

------------------------------

Him

------------------------------

For Y/N to glide over wearing a pretty dress, hair all fancy, and holding some little bird was not something he put on his bingo sheet.

“Hiya, Daryl.”

It takes him a second. “Hey.” Never seen her in a dress, is all. And with that little bird, he gets the image in his head of her bursting into song and the farm animals and forest critters doing a musical number with her.

He’ll *ahem* keep that to himself...

“I hope you’re enjoyin’ your new freedom! Mi—”

“—Who’s the little guy?” he had to ask first.

“It's a chick.”

Clearly. “Why?”

“It’s cute.”

She ain’t wrong. “…Can I see?”

“Yeah, it's adorable!”

He begins to get up, but she steps over faster than he can stand. She kneels beside his cot and, delicately, transfers the wrapped chick into his hands. He carefully unwraps the washcloth around it and slips his hand underneath it so sits on his palm with its teeny legs dangling through his fingers. It’s peeping like it’s getting paid for it, holy shit it’s so fucking cute.

“I came here wonderin’ if I might I borrow the, uh, the book Andrea just lent you?”

Ha, called it! The second Y/N found out he had contraband, she came to the rescue.

The chick quiets down, appearing to relax in his hand.

Maybe it’s because he’s in a good mood, but he smiles like a dipshit for a few moments before saying anything. “Nah, I wouldn’t dream of checking it out ’til you said it was fine.”

“Oh ha-ha,” she play-mocks, assuming he wasn’t being serious.

Eh, okay, maybe he was sorta razzing her, too. But he wants to come out on the other side of this whole concussion bullshit on the up, and if reading is still off-limits, it’s still off limits. He’s not gonna full-on disregard somebody who gives a shit.

“How’d ya end up dressed like that?” is his second question while he pets the chick lightly along its head with the feathers on his bolt.

“I wear this, like, all the time.”

“Oh right, yeah, you do,” he sarcastically responds. He tries to reach with his left arm to pick up the book under his cot, but gets a sharp twinge and surrenders that he can’t do that move yet.

Y/N snorts at the sarcasm and tells him straight, “The Greenes had some giveaways, so Beth gave me this outfit. Oh, thank you,” she says when he instead points in the direction of the book. She picks it up and hugs it to herself. “I do believe Carol put a few things aside for you to try on, too.”

“’Kay.”

Y/N looks pretty.

It’s nothing new, obviously her face is nice, but it's the whole blushing things that's annoying. Seems he's started blushing like a belle over all the damn women in camp these days. That really was some smack to the head he got.

He’s imagining himself as being back onstage again, forgetting his lines. He can ad-lib. “How you gonna search in that?”

“Ain’t like my ankles are tied together. Women have always been able to move, play, do manual labor of all sorts in dresses, corsets, stays, stockin’s, you name it,” she serves back with just enough fire that his belly did one of those good flippy-floppys. “That reminds me, Nervous Nelly came back! Did any of us tell you? She’s fine as can be, I fed her half a peach yesterday!”

Some of them baby hairs around her face are coming out of the braids. Her skin's got a sheen to it. And did she put pink stuff on her cheeks or something? Or is that because she was moving around a lot and it’s gotten warm out? Because her lips don’t look like there’s nothing on them but they’re nice and —

“—Dare, you okay?”

“Yeah. Tired.”

“You must be.” Why is she frowning? “You looked like you’d just got hypnotized or — you sure you feel normal?”

“M’fine, I just spaced out.”

She’s gonna have him do a thing, isn’t she? “Follow my finger for a little, please?” Ah-ha, see?

Pointer finger extended, he goes along with it for the 10 or so seconds it takes for the slight crease between her eyebrows to relax.

“Please stick out your tongue for me?” is her next request and, uh, why?

Well, he goes ahead and does it for her anyway. The hook ’em horns he makes at the same time are a sure sign he’s in a good-ass mood.

Y/N lets herself smile, then elaborates: “If it came out tilted, it’s a sign of stroke.”

Stroke? That’s a little much.“C’mon, you’re worried I had a stroke?”

She nods once. Her chest expands big as if she were inhaling really deep. “A smoker, extended bed rest, head trauma,” she quietly counts.

Is he hearing things, or does her breathing sound a little too fast?

“Can you point your toes three times?”

He point his toes three times, and yes, her breathing is a little too fast.

“Now please lift both arms parallel to the bed.”

He lifts both arms. The baby chicken is sleeping now and doesn’t wake with the motion.

“Okay,” Y/N whispers to herself.

“Tell me you’re not stressing out about nothin’.”

She blinks a few times and deadpans, “I would never.”

“Here,” he holds the chick near her face. “Get zen like this pipsqueak.”

“But you ain’t ‘nothing’ and you are at an elevated stroke risk.”

He’s only got the one word for her: “Zen.” The hovering motion he made with the chick was a fun touch, the little thing didn’t even mind.

Her expression suggests she’s trying to not smile, and, in a move he doesn’t anticipate, she leans forward to rub her nose on its beak. Her lips brush against his fingertips when she does and his train of thought derails.

Next thing, her hands are overlapping his as she gently takes the chick back and re-wraps it in the washcloth. “’Lil buddy you’re fine, you’re fine,” she coos. “I’ll grab you the hand sanitizer and leave you to some peace, alright man?” she addresses to Daryl, who's still a little distracted, so a grunt and a chin tilt is how he acknowledges this.

Merle would be laughing his ass off right now, goddamn. ‘Sweet lil virgin Darylina’ sounds about what he’d be cackling about.

Y/N flips open the cap with her thumb and squirts the hand stuff onto his palm. Smells like lemons.

So, he didn’t have that stuff before, meaning she’d likely been the one to put it in there when she’d cleaned his tent with Carol. “Hey, um, thanks for the surprise.” Damn, he’s awkward. Smells way better in here.”

“Carol is so wanting to help you in any way she can. I was in it just to see you end up with that pretty floral pillowcase. I had to stop her from hangin' the matching curtains,” she snickers, then waves him goodbye and, boom, leaves.

So…how long until his heartbeat and head stop racing?

------------------------------

You

------------------------------

Yet another stage performance today. You had to act like you weren’t distracted by how boyishly charming Daryl looked lounging there with his shirt unbuttoned to his hecking waist, good Moses. Then the way he snuggled the chick, how your legit lips bumped into his fingers?? He noticed your panicking and was all soothing and shit? Dude, and you were trying to sit like a dainty lady the whole time, too, what a poser.

Still, you think you were convincing. Oscar-worthy. Golden Globe. Emmy. Tony. Somebody hook you up with your EGOT.

Oh, and that little jab at his new pillowcase, aw yes, that was top tier friendzoning! Or — oh, it wasn’t interpreted as flirting, right? No way did you intend that! And hold up, no way he'd even care. It's Daryl.

You've earned a B- so far at being chill, you've got to get that grade up.

So, you are going to go pick fruit, alone, and you’re going to stuff your face because the show is over, you’re off stage for the rest of the day!

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[thatdeadaquarius]

How about Benny in SAGAU? Like a continuation with Razor?? We do not talk about your growing found family 😤

Like, how would be his 'unluckiness'? Dya cancel it or you get pulled with his shenanigans? I feel like he might introduce you to his Dads no, we are still not going to talk about it 😤😤

A little scenario kept getting into my head when Benny applies Pyro and then Razor used his Electro and y'all got yer asses pounded on the ground 💀👌🏻and just taking care of each other's wounds 🥺🥺

You better be with him whenever he opens a chest so it wouldn't only spawn veggies, but decent weapon AND mora as well! You know, actual treasures, HOYO!!

BENNYYYYY ANOTHER ONE OF MY BOYSSS

This kid also arguably needs more parental supervision just bc of his sheer bad luck, poor kid

(i adore the headcanon that no matter the person's gender, he calls them dad lol)

Like,, hoyo cursed him and he's in a world with traps, monsters, fatui, MAGIC?? 💀 bro how is Benny still alive??!!

(LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY LOOK IN THIS GIF MY BOYS 🥺)

Okay but the fact that Benny calls so many ppl dad just proves his desire for parental/sibling affection 💔

Aight since u phrased this as a continuation of this post <3 RAZOR MY BOYYYY

That is what we shall do :) ! ! !

So ur running with the wolves still lol

Also ur symbol as the Creator reader is 🦄 or 🌈, bc ur gay and special, jk its bc elements i promise lol

Or even 😑 / 😶 for language reader shenanigans

♡

EDIT 4/11/24: HELLA forgot to say theres a sorta Part 3, its more focused on Razor living, rather than Benny tho fair warning!

Lupical for life bro

U r chillin with the pack now

Razor now has a sweet new digs, fits, and now a crazy amount of power

Bc ur just that great 💅

You have officially moved on to purchasing some leftover amenities/new furniture etc. for him and you :D

And while u could get some stuff in Springvale, like lanterns and soap and perfume and whatnot

Ur still not rlly getting furniture like a bedframe or some storage space, like a nightstand, from them

Which u dont need bc u still got an inventory

...but Razor definitely needs to store all his goodies somewhere that isnt up a tree or buried in a hole 😃

Yes, u did have to tell him to stop doing that.

So yall (u and Razor) are in Mondstadt a lot these days, and ur routine consists of grinding domains, hunting for food, hanging with cute Lupical puppies, playing giant tic-tac-toe w/ Andrius bc poor guy is pretty bored these days etc.

So you figured you run into ppl eventually, afterall you'd already re-met Lisa :)

(who at first was kind of taken aback to Razor having made a random adult friend in the woods, but after vibe checking her , and her vibe checking you, yall were cool, tho she did start reading these new lore books you didnt recognize called "Immortal They Return: A Series of Prophesies", she avoided ur questions abt it too..)

It was inevitable that after introducing you to Lisa, he'd gotten all excited at seeing two familiar figures hanging around Kathryne one day

THE BANDS GETTING BACK TOGETHER, ITS-

Fischl and Bennett !! :D the cutest adventurers in all of Mondstadt ! (besides Klee)

The two take one look at you and Razor and coming running

..

...

....well mostly Fischl,

Bennett got his boot laces tangled together somehow? And is kinda hopping his way over

Immediately the electro vision royalty launches into their quintessential speech (they/them fischl SUPREMACY)

And as u get introduced,

U watch the pyro boy hop and trip over while trying to untie the laces

And just as he's about to go down, and ur debating reaching out and supporting the poor guy bc geez this looks sm worse in person-

Bennett has finally gotten his shoes untied!

Even he looks shocked 💀

And he like, apruptly stops falling over too?

And walks over with no issue??

Theres even a few out of place cobblestones in his path which he sees and moves to avoid

You dont know who looks more shocked and kinda scared you, him, or Fischl/Oz or Razor

Fischl and Razor have stopped talking bc it was more distracting Bennett didnt fall 😭

..

...yall all just kinda,, stand in a circle of silence (well fly in oz's case)

Staring at Bennett.

(Even Katheryne looks impressed😭)

After a couple of shook seconds, Fischl is nearly yelling about some kind of curse being lifted?? , Razor is like, sniffing Bennett's immediate area for sus scents, Bennett is kicking rocks to see if any of them hit him anymore, and poor Oz is trying to calm them down

(none of the rocks hit Bennett btw, or anything valuable around him)

◇

So after that fiasco, u offer to take them around to the parts of Mondstadt they weren't allowed to go to w/o at least 1 adult :)

Theyre pumped and yall set off!

At first, Bennett hangs back, as Fischl and Razor throw themselves into monster battles yall encounter, as per what seems like a routine u assume bc of his bad luck

Eh, u figure while hes here, u might as well reveal u can make him stronger, u think he definitely needs the HP...

If there were any characters youd be worried about needing more power/HP in Mondstadt that u could level up besides Razor, itd be Bennett, hands down.

Between his adventuring, unnatural bad luck, and no parental supervision..

(even Klee seems better off than him, and shes like 7 💀)

Yeah, needless to say u were worried abt the guy

So he looks adorably fascinated <3, bc turns out they can see some of ur interface!

Mostly it looks like floating magical icons and that weird Teyvat language u saw in game, like that Abyss/ruins language u see all the time?

Bennett showed u his perspective in a sand drawing, hes actually pretty good at art wow

Razor couldnt rlly find the words to describe it before which is why u werent sure what they saw before now

And with that hes called into battle last by the others, mostly to apply pyro 🔥

and he fights at the edges to be further away from ppl u notice so he wont affect their luck..

aw Benny </3 :(

But as he draws his sword and ur getting ready trying to become a cheerleader for both Razor and Fischl but particularly Bennett,

He full on takes out 3 hilichurls at once 💀

...then with the dramatic down swing he does, he accidentally launches a rock right at the bigger hilichurl's foot..

...which trips him out of his axe swing...

...which makes it let go of the axe...

...which goes flying...

....breaks the last bit of the cryo abyss mage's shield bubble...

....

......

........and smacks it on the head too.

..fischl, oz, and razor halfway thru this insanity just like,, lower their weapons and stop to watch

Even the abyss mage is looking at Bennett surprised 😭😭

◇

Congratulations!

Bro, an achievement pops up-

"Lucky Day!!!"

Its little description says, "As Teyvat's God, you give the unluckiest person in Teyvat the luckiest day ever!"

💀

Bennett just sits down on the ground.

♤

(Same Benny because, this is where I lost it all, guys. All of that writing. Gone. Forever. I'm putting this here as both a gravestone for it, and a call out to tumblr. I'm not afraid of this website or its shitty admins, meet me in my dms for a real fight you fucks 🥊🥋🧍‍♂️you took what mattered to me, I'll take what matters to you, you god awful programmers. 🥲😐)

♤

And it just keeps happening like that for the rest of the day you guys are together.

Every chest Benny opens are way higher quality than they should be

Especially for him.

(also u have gotten so comfy from before when u were playing Genshin that u r physically struggling not to call him Benny, so when u do accidentally call him that, u try to apologize politely, but he just talks about finally having a nickname so giddy that u just stick with Benny, what a cutie)

Common chests, Razor/Fischl gets what u expect, you personally maybe get a little extra materials and money,

But Benny?

He opens a common chest and suddenly it's a secret Precious chest

The pyro boy honestly looks a little afraid

◇

You guys have a picnic later on for lunch together, partially bc Razor rlly wanted them to try ur food !! :D

Fischl and Benny were drooling over garlic salt, jesus- Teyvat's been deprived-

The blanket u used was a custom one u got made for Razor for his bday awhile back, all diff shades of purple and some silver wolf puppies and pawprints on it, 10/10 vv cute he loves it :)

(and also showed it off to his friends, Benny in particular looks smitten by it..)

◇

Fischl eventually gets herded by Oz back to Mondstadt bc of their parents wanting them back by dinner,

So u Razor and Benny r left to wander around :]

As u guys explore and get chests and talk,

U all begin to gather ingredients for dinner (not that u dont have an inventory but the boys dont wanna cut into ur supplies, the sweethearts)

... Benny slowly starts to find and accumulate foodstuffs

Those Phileano? mushrooms (the white toasty looking ones that r always on roofs or windmills?)

He finds at eye level on nearly any building u come across.

Crabs?

Benny currently has his shirt turned into a basket trying to contain them, and more are flocking to him lol

Snap dragons? Calla lilies?? Even violetgrass, those purple horsetails, lotus heads, and a few qingqin from Liyue somehow make it into his bag 💀

The real question to ask at this point is, when wasn't Bennett lucky today??

(wow never thought youd hear that one)

◇

So its a few weeks later, and Benny is like spending, every day with yall now lol

Ur getting dinner ready for u guys, and ur hopefully gonna make enough to leave leftovers for Lupical and Andrius,

So Razor has gone off to get some water to boil,

And Benny is climbing this huge tree to reach some eggs

And as he gets farther and farther up the tree away from you, he starts to slip more often 😬

Finally as he reaches the top, u realize after weeks without even a trip from him whenever hes around yall, why he wasnt unlucky-

...the closer he is to you, the luckier he is, and the farther Benny is-

He steps on a dead branch and it snaps :0 !!

Just as he falls, he screams and yells,

"DAD!!"

U push together some thick bushes and vines to catch him luckily

(lord knows u couldnt have caught him no matter how light he is, rip benny)

..Benny is okay, but he does go red in the face, and when u ask if he wants u to get one of his dads from the guild to check him over/make him feel better?

He says quickly "NO THANKS!"

Then Razor comes back like, "You call Lupical dad now?"

Benny: "What? No!"

You: "Do u see me as a, father figure, Bennett?"

Benny: "NO- more like I see u as a BOTHER figure bc ur always BOTHERING ME-"

Lol anyways jk

what a cutie tho,

(Ur Creator vibes made him feel vv at home in a way he hasnt felt before, so u got the honors early <3)

so ur a Dad™️ now (regardless of ur gender btw)

hope u like having a pack of puppies, a wolf spirit god, a wild wolf raised boy, and another wild but adventurer guild raised boy as ur family now 🤷‍♂️

Congratz U R THE FATHER LMAO

♧

You may or may not have also gotten onto Benny for charging straight into battle at other times, bc hes so used to bad luck happening anyway, apparently its canon he will just run in???

(to the point Grand Master VARKAS commented on it??!!)

U were pissed, bonked his head and everything-

He looked sufficiently chastised, but when u originally found out Fischl and Razor were nearby,

And u just hear snickering behind u as u bop him

(U bop them later too for that lol)

◇

Benny is also very good at treating injuries bc of this too apparantly,

So one time when you Razor and him were engaging with a couple hilichurls again on the way to Windrise,

Benny applied pyro, and bc u were standing father away than usual (there was an archer earlier u were dodging)

His bad luck crept in and when Razor went to charge up his wolf spirit electro ult-

...everyone went flying back.

...Including Benny and Razor 💀

You heard a really sick pop!

From Benny's shoulder :(

You quickly start pullin out the healing foods lol shove a fishstick in his mouth screaming IT HEALS like a crazed grandparent lmao

But Benny has already sighed and sat up, popping his arm back into place

🤢🤮

You^

While u do praise his healing??? skills,

U have found out thru him that apparently ur food also gives some pain killer effects

So u scold him and bop him on the head with some dango 🍡

For not waiting on u to help him lol

..

Which btw-

Any healing food u give him, he treats like the bandages many others give him, like Barbara, Katheryne, his guild dads, etc.

And holds onto them, rarely eating them

(Ur stuff preserves until needed bc its magical Creator powers surprise, surprise)

Benny feels like its a tangible piece of your care he can keep with him <3 sobs

"Well, since you're by my side, I guess I'm not that unlucky after all!"

proud of you son :')

♤

Ok so youve been getting Razor and u furnishings right

And youve been asking him what he wants to add to the caves digs ! :]

(U made a more fortified "front door" to the cave entrance, its also not that deep of a cave so there r only like 3 other "rooms" besides the main entrance area)

U improved both of u guys beds (tho razor will crash urs if he has a nightmare)

Along with some new outfits for him!

And so he has requested some stuff, but as time goes on,

Slowly, Razor goes from telling Benny about what new thing u added or telling his friend abt what he wants for the cave/himself,

To asking Benny what he wants bc he stays over so often 😭

(Youve gotten Benny factored into ur finances now lol, u gave him new clothes, new gear, amenities, etc. It also helps him bc he doesnt rlly have a main caretaker, so if he needs money he has to take commissions, which can be dangerous to him alone bc if u dont know, Benny's Adventuring Team only has him as the single member of it, plus thats not good if he is too sick or too injured to work, so a 2nd source of lowkey income is good for him <3 )

◇

U now have a coffee table as the dinner table (razor was used to sitting on the ground to eat so a high table felt weird to him)

And it has a few pillow chair thingys?

For you, Razor, Benny, and a guest aw 💘

Benny also originally wanted to help make smth for u guys as a house warming gift

but bc he would try to work on it away from ur influence, it would break everytime :(

Eventually u just coninvced the poor kid to help u pick out some nice rugs and stuff lol

He also has surprisingly good interior design tastes, huh, who knew?

(cough when benny stays over he usually stays in razors bed, but occasionally theyre both lonely had nightmares and ask to crash with u, i love these kids sm cough)

♧

Recently youve been visiting Benny in town even w/o Razor sometimes (rare as it is lol)

Mostly bc it seems like he needs the attention too <3

U gotta make sure hes eating real food okay

U dont want him to end up like u in ur world where u ate snacks for dinner when u were his age...

And Benny gets super hype about it every time, hes grabbing u by the arm, hauling u around to talk to ppl etc.

(Did i mention ur one of the few or not at all ppl who he can freely hold onto no matter the weather/situation bc his bad luck doesnt happen to you?? Oh no??? Well there u go :)

Most notably, to talk to the other Guild Dads™️

They deadass lowkey postured at you for an hour at you before giving in bc u seemed to be the only good luck charm the kid's ever gotten in his entire life 😭

They also r rlly happy someone is able to bc of his rlly bad luck willing to look out for him when they cant :)

♡

For his birthday, you guys all celebrated by doing a picnic again like when u first met them, and you made him a cake

Benny's face rlly said " :'D !! "

Later on, for presents, you got him a blanket matching Razor's !!

Shades of red, with some good luck symbols thruout to maybe make up for when ur not there, and puppies all over <3

And at the top, you yourself embroidered (attempted, so its kinda sloppy but still readable, its endearing you like to think)

"Benny's Adventure Team"

With your name, Razor, Fischl, and even Oz and Andrius lol, all embroidered (not by u bc u stabbed urself enough times making the title thx) as team members down below 👍

You also show him a copy of the book record Katheryne keeps of adventuring teams, telling him that you snuck into Mondstadt one day w/o him knowing and officially signed you guys together (the others agreed too ofc)

.

..

...

...Benny cried, straight up.

And just like held onto you for bascially the rest of the day ❤️

♡

MY HEART FOR MY BOYS FOREVER

♡

(you also may or may not have signed the corner with "love, dad" haha what)

♡

☆

I just want y'all to know.

I had like this whole thing ready to post.

Then tumblr decided it didn't like any of my writing, and deleted half of this post.

U probably saw the spot i marked where i lost it all :'/

I think it took an hour? Or at least 30 minutes to write.

Guess tumblr didn't like that I was adding so much in one go.

So now it's gone.

Doin smth ballsy bc in order to avoid that, ive just rewritten that lost half, and am just going to post it straight up rather than expecting it to save my draft 🥲

Those beautiful moments between Bennett and us, are gone forever. My memory isn't good enough to rewrite it all. ;-;

If you don't mind, I'll be crying somewhere over those lost Benny moments that I drafted on here and can no longer remember to add.

I guess that's tumblr's cruel way of telling me to go the extra mile and draft my bullshit on a literal Google Doc then come back here and deal with the formatting transition hell.

Thanks tumblr.

Appreciate the writing advice.

💔

(Fischl Voice) TIS I, WATERS OF THE SKY, IN THE NIGHT I SHINE UPON THEE, OH MOST HEAVENLY OF DIVINE BEINGS, FEAST YOUR EYES UPON MY OFFERINGS TO THINE BELOW!! COME ONE, COME ALL, FIND MY LABRYNTH'S RULES, AND REJOICE IF YE FIND THE TREASURE WITHIN!

(Oz translation: hey its aquarius here! I hope you gods enjoyed my writing! Feel free to check out my Masterpost/Writing Rules List if you guys ever wanna request something, including non-Sagau/Isekai stuff! :] )

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

(^^^^

Hey not sure if yall will see this, but while this does have influences of Sagau/Isekai genshin, its still pretty just platonic genshin stuff, so let me know if thats not what u wanna be tagged for - just dm me!!)

[elainavoid]

LN4 - Trouble Part 2

Hi everyone! It's me again! I am determined to make this a series, i think 5 or 6 parts would be enough but still, not sure. I am keeping the parts a bit short i know but mostly bc im not satisfied with them lmao. But at the end i post them anyways. So, i hope you enjoy this one! And if you haven't read the first part, go check it out! Please tell me what you think, feedbacks are always appreciated. Love you and enjoy <3

You were outside, sitting on a bench, under a streetlamp. Waiting for Lando to come pick you up. It wasn’t raining today, unlike the day you met. Your mind is lost in your thoughts. The first time you saw him, keeps coming up in your eyes. It wasn’t like you regretted it, but something just felt off. He never really told you about his personal life, you only had his number. But you didn’t mind it though. After a while of sitting, tapping your shoes on the concrete sidewalk, you saw a black car pulling around. As much as you tried to not to look at it, the feeling of unknowability made you uncomfortable. Still, you were waiting for Lando, patiently. And that’s when your phone screen lightened up. Even seeing his name on your screen made you smile. You answered the phone,

“Hi Lando”

“Hey sunshine, get in.”

Since that night, he would always call you sunshine. Your heart would flutter every time he called and texted you that nickname. It was cute.

On the other hand, at first you didn’t understand what he was saying. Get in? Get in what? So, you simply asked,

“What?”

You could hear Lando chuckling on the other side of the line, he would always laugh or smile at things you didn’t know.

“Get in the black car, that’s me.”

The car? That luxurious black car over there? You were not really surprised about that, the watch on his wrist you saw the other day, looked like an expensive item. But this, this car probably costed like something-million. You got up, your black dress was tight on your body. It definitely wasn’t your favorite piece in your wardrobe, but it looked cute on you, and this was supposed to be an official first date. So you decided to dress a little fancy. Slowly walking to the car, and you saw his smile as he rolled down the window. Wearing a white shirt and some silver chains. He had left the first two-three buttons open, that made you giggle a little. And he got out of the car, walking to you,

“Hi again” he said with a smile on his face, his accent was one of your favorite things. The first one? His eyes. They looked like the earth. You loved them.

“Hi pretty boy”

You replied in a flirty tone, his cheeks were getting kind of pink. You got him blushing. How cute was that? Looked like he was trying to say something, but words just wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He stuttered a little and eventually gave up. Opening the door for you, like a gentleman. You sat on the passenger seat, after Lando closed the door, you fixed your hair, looking at the rear mirror.

“You know, you don’t really have to do that, you are already stunning”

Smiling at his words and fastening your seatbelt, you looked at Lando while he started the car. He looked so comfortable and confident while driving, it made you think maybe he was in some sort of car business? Like owning a showroom or something. But he seemed a little young for that. It could’ve been his family business then.

“So, you like cars?”

You asked, trying to suppress the silence that annoyed you right now.

“Yeah, do you?”

He simply answered in a calm tone. Keeping his eyes on the road. He looked very fine right now, concentrated. You shrugged your shoulders, pouting your lips,

“Not very much. But I can guess this car is nice.”

He laughed, looking at you while smiling. Liked the fact that you wanted to know something he was good at.

“It is, it’s a Mclaren 720s. I think it is one of the best supercars.”

He seemed to enjoy and actually open up while talking. He started telling you about the facts and some features about the car. While all you did was nod and hum at his words, while all you did was to look at his hands. After a bit of talking and laughing, Lando entered a parking lot, smiling at you, getting out to open your door, again, cute. After you got out of the car and fixed your dress a little, he gave the car keys to valet for him to park. He got closer to you, putting his hand at your back, directing you to the entrance to the restaurant, Lando whispered to your ear.

“I don’t really wanna be seen, sorry about the parking lot thingy.”

You looked at him with a little confused face, he didn’t wanted to be seen? But why? Who was he?

“Oh that’s okay.”

You answered trying to keep it calm but inside, your body was burning with curiosity. You slowly walked to the grand door. Trying to not to fall, your long dress was okay, but the high heels? You weren’t used to wearing them, at the and of the day you were barista at a café, not a supermodel on a runway.

A host greeted you at the entrance, looking at Lando and saying,

“Your table is ready Mr. Norris.”

‘He must come here often then’ you thought. He didn’t even had to tell his name for them to check their list. It probably wasn’t his first time brining a girl here for a date. The place seemed very luxury, walls were mostly black, decorated with gold accents. The host walked you two to the table that was reserved. And when you looked out of the window, your view seemed like a paradise. You could see the stars shining in the night sky. Crescent moon looked like you could touch it if you were on your tiptoes. You sat down, smiling at him.

“So Mr Norris, tell me more about yourself.”

You spoke, trying to look serious but eventually smiling after your sentence.

He leaned down a little as much as he can. Speaking softly,

“What do you want to know about me miss?”

“Everything.”

[jut-and-dae-enthusiast]

The Only Exception // s.c.b

pairing: idol!changbin x fem!reader I genre: fluff, friends to lovers, some angst, one sided love, 18+ I warnings: some talk of self-image issues, relationship trauma, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap it up kiddos), breeding kink if you squint, oral sex (f receiving), use of pet-names (babe, baby,princess), mc is unexperienced but not a virgin, aftercare, i am a huge simp for seo changbin, mc is plus sized (bc there aren't enough chubby y/n's in the world and this is my fic)

word count: 10.3k words

a/n: This is my first time posting a fic on here and I have no idea how it's gonna go. If you guys enjoy this, I already have more than enough ideas for a second part/make this into a series.

feedback and re-blogging is deeply appreciated!

synopsis: she's given up on love and decided to focus on building her career. However, meeting a certain member of Stray Kids may change things.

 

Everywhere you went, whispers followed. 

Everywhere you went, whispers followed. 

“There's the spinster.” “Did you hear when she said she’ll never get married?” “I wonder how many cats she has at this point.”

In the beginning, it bothered you a lot. You would lash out, cry, yell. People thought you were crazy, labeling you a psycho on top of all the other things they said about you. But eventually they left you alone. 

Now, even when you hear these whispers, you ignore it. Do you find it annoying that people talk like this even though you’re only 25? Yes. But you figured it was probably magnified due to your outspoken hatred towards the idea of marriage. 

“A man will only slow me down.” You would mumble passively whenever your employee’s tried to ask you about this mindset. “Do you think I achieved this much by this age because I was flirting with boys and going on dates?” Whenever you spoke like this, the awkwardness rose in the air like a swift breeze. “But that’s just my preference. Do whatever you like.” You tried to lighten the room, but it hardly worked. 

The thing you despised the most were the men who attempted to “tame” you. They were normally men who would recognize you from work and try to approach you at the bar. 

“Maybe you just need to meet the right guy.” Was a common line. 

“Are you implying that you are this mystical right guy?” You would retort and watch the fire snuff from their eyes. Because they were losers to start with, they were never persistent. They preferred cute, easy women. Women who would giggle at their jokes and smile brightly at them. If you thought really hard, you could remember a time when you were exactly like that. 

Seven Years Ago

“Why don’t you put yourself out there? The love of your life won’t come onto your doorstep!” Your friend teased, pausing the romance movie you had put on the tv. 

“I don’t know, it’s kinda scary. I think I’m okay with waiting.” You assured them, resuming the movie and tuning them out. 

Eventually, you gave in to their nagging and decided to go on a blind date. When you got there, you smiled softly to yourself. While he wasn’t the most handsome man you had ever seen, he had potential. A different haircut, maybe some better clothes. Something in your stomach felt weird, but you pushed it to the side, calling it nerves. 

The date went well. He was nice and made you laugh. You could immediately tell that he liked you more than you liked him just by the way he looked at you. Also, the way he practically begged for your number at the end of the date. When you got home that night, they texted all night. Even though you weren't crazy about him, you liked the fact that he gave you attention and figured it wouldn’t hurt to just see how it goes. 

Fast forward two weeks and you could feel yourself liking him more and more. Even though you were scared of how quickly your feelings were developing, you were comforted by the fact that he still seemed to like you more. He was still actively pursuing you and messaging you all day. 

A month later, your relationship still wasn't official. However, you had completely fallen for him. In the ways you weren't attracted to him before, you suddenly found him cute. you found his style endearing, his haircut adorable. Even when he was forgetful or late, you were just smitten with him. They had gone on many more dates during that time. They went to the movies, cafe’s, walks in the park, just about anything a college aged couple could do. 

“Hey, I think we should stop here.” He suddenly said out of nowhere as they walked home together after seeing a movie. 

“What?” you asked, confused at the sudden confession. 

“I just think that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.” It was quiet for a moment between the two of them, tears already spilling down your cheeks. “You’re such a sweet girl. You deserve someone better than me. I know you’ll find a guy who really cherishes you one day.” And then he left you crying in the middle of the sidewalk. you were hurt and confused. you didn’t want someone else, you wanted him. How could he walk away from you so easily when not even a week ago, he gushed about how perfect you were and how lucky he was to have you? Said he liked you so much over and over on the phone because he was so enamored with you. 

A week later, you saw him walking in the store. His hand was holding tightly to a girl who was small and cute and pretty. You ducked into an aisle to avoid making eye contact with him, frantically wiping the tears from your eyes. You remembered how he so adamantly told you he “preferred bigger girls” and didn’t even care about your size. You weren't massive by any means, but you looked big compared to that girl. You could probably fit four of that girl into the hoodie you were wearing right now. 

After a long while of convincing, you allowed your friends to set you up on yet another blind date. You decided to go into this one positively. Maybe last time was an isolated incident. Not every guy could be like that, right?

This time, you found yourself in a difficult situation. You had liked him from the very beginning. He was handsome and charming and said all of the right things. But he clearly only wanted one thing from you. He was respectful and gentlemanly for the first month, sweeping your right off of your feet. However, after they had their first kiss, you saw a different side of him. Begging for explicit photos, sending unsolicited photos of his own, and becoming sex crazed in general. Suddenly, they couldn’t even meet up without doing something. Whether it was intense makeout sessions or touching, he was always coming onto you. You felt conflicted because you did in fact like him and was okay with it most of the time. However, he only spoke affectionately to you when they were in the act of doing things like that. He only said he loved you when he was inside of you, which you realized when you would try to say it during the day and be hit with “oh yeah, me too.” He only called you pretty when you were naked, only wanted you if you were pleasing him. After six months of this, there came a time when you said no. They were sitting on his couch and his hands began to wander, as they always did, when you stopped him. 

“Babe, I’m not really feeling it tonight. Can we just cuddle?” You pleaded with him, your voice soft but your hands firmly moving him away. 

“Yeah, sure.” He pretended to be okay with it, pulling you in and kissing the top of your head. A few minutes passed and he huffed, clearly upset. Less than ten minutes after that, his hands started wandering again. 

“Babe, please. I asked for just one night.” You pleaded again, scooting away from him. He groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“You’ve been totally leading me on all night though.” He whined, jutting his lip out. 

“No I haven’t.” you were confused, knitting your brows together as you looked at him. 

“Yeah you have. You wore that outfit you know I like and you keep kissing me.” 

“I didn’t wear this outfit with the intention of doing anything to you. I just think it's comfortable. And we can’t kiss without going any further?” You could see him getting frustrated with you, his attention everywhere but on you as you spoke. 

“I just think you’re so sexy, babe. Look, I already want you so bad.”  He points to the bulge growing in his pants at literally you just sitting there. “It hurts so bad, baby. Please.” He moved towards you again, slowly. When you tried to push him back again, he groaned and rolled his eyes. “I guess we can just break up then, huh? You clearly don’t like me anymore.” He pouted, standing up from the couch. Your heart dropped, fear making your muscles clench. 

“I-I never said I didn’t like you, I just…” You sighed. “I feel like this is all you want from me. Can you promise that you like me for more than just sex?” He nodded eagerly, quickly climbing on top of you. The second you touched him, he moaned “Ah, I love you so much.”

The next day, he broke up with you. He said he needed to focus on himself for a while, telling you that you would eventually find someone who loved you more than he could. Just like the last one, he ended up with a new girl shortly after. 

This time, you not only felt heartbroken but also used. You felt like you got nothing from that relationship other than a different way to view yourself. Is that all guys would want from you? 

Every single relationship you had in the next two years ended on the same note. Eventually, you realized that men only liked you while you were convenient. While you either gave them what they wanted or until someone they wanted more came along. You were never the first choice, never the only option. Because of this, anger grew in your heart. You had shed tears for men who didn’t even remember you or want you. You were determining your value based on if these terrible men wanted you. 

“No, never again.” you muttered to yourself as you drug yourself out of your bed. You wiped the remaining tears from your eyes and decided that from that moment forward, you would no longer subject yourself to this. You would show each and every one of those jerks that you were a force to be reckoned with. That you didn’t need them exactly the same way they didn’t need you. 

Present Day

“Mom, we’ve been over this. No blind dates, no setting me up, no giving out my number. You know how I feel about all of that stuff.” you were exasperated, the phone call with your mother going the direction it always did. 

“You’re already 25 and aren’t married. I’m worried about you.” your mother was kind and soft, just like you used to be. However, your mother didn’t have to worry about the troubles herr daughter went through in regards to dating. Your mother was skinny and beautiful and could have any man she had wanted. She chose her husband in middle school and they’ve been together ever since. 

“Nothing to worry about here. I’m successful, rich, and happy. What more could I need?” You took a sip of your wine, looking out the window of your apartment. 

“Love.” your mother whispered softly. 

“I have that already! I love you and dad, my dog, my friends!” 

“Yes, but you know a love between a man and woman is different than all of those. It’s beautiful and wonderful all at the same time.” 

“Mom, I think you’ve seen too many romance movies. Love like that doesn’t exist for girls like me. I already tried that in college. My priorities are elsewhere now.” You knew your mom came from a good place, but you were tired of explaining yourself. You were tired of feeling like you were weird for feeling this way. If only people knew what had made you this way. If only they felt the fear in your chest when you imagined trying to date again. You would rather be alone for the rest of your life than have to feel that way ever again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t new for you to meet celebrities in your line of work. Your company was a management company, primarily helping overseas artists who are touring in North America. They gave them additional support, set them up with translators, set up their catering, everything they would need to have a successful tour. And with the rise in K-Pop, you were meeting more and more Korean artists. BTS was among your favorites that you had met so far, their world wide fame clear simply from their charisma. 

You wouldn’t consider yourself a full blown kpop stan, but you enjoyed listening to their music. It was also a good outlet for you because they had to say that they loved and cherished you. That they wanted no one else but you. You didn’t need the attention of attainable men who were subpar when these gorgeous boys made you feel like you were everything. It was a perfect balance because they were just far enough out of reach that you would never get your hopes up. 

“Ma’m, our next music artist is here to meet with you.” Your assistant announced from the door. In confusion, you looked down at your schedule. Maybe you had forgotten. 

“Alright, let them in.” You remained composed and professional, even though you had swore you had no more meetings today. You sat up straight and pushed forward a smile, greeting the group as they walked in. Now, this was an adorable group of boys. You bet they were all extremely young. 

They all awkwardly took a seat, shuffling nervously around each other. 

“Let us introduce ourselves. 1,2, Step out! Hello, we are Stray Kids.” The leader spoke up. His dimples were cute. Even their intro was cute. you nodded, smiling. 

“It’s nice to meet you all. My name is y/f/n y/l/n. Can we go down the line and hear each of your names?” You always did this so that no one felt too uncomfortable or left out. So, they each introduced themselves. Bangchan, Felix, Han, LeeKnow, Seungmin, Changbin, Hyunjin, and I.N. Without much thought, you dove into the meeting. They discussed what the boys would like, need, and everything that would help them have a comfortable tour. The boys were polite, almost hesitant to ask for anything. You reminded them multiple times that their company was paying for our service, so they should make the best use of it. 

The meeting ended and you immediately got to work sending out emails for each of their requests to their respective departments. As you were typing away, you heard a few gentle taps on your door. “Yes, come in.” you called out, your eyes never leaving the computer. 

“Miss y/l/nt, one of the Stray Kids members wanted to mention something to you.” 

“Alright, let him in.” You figured it was the leader, Bangchan. He seemed very responsible and clearly cared very deeply about his group members. However, much to your surprise, it was not him. you glanced down at your notes, trying to remember where he had been sitting so you could recall his name. He cleared his throat as he took a seat in front of your desk. “You are… Seungmin?” you asked and your heart dropped when he laughed. 

“No, I’m Changbin. Sorry for bothering you, I just remembered something that I needed to bring up.” 

“I’m so sorry. Please go ahead. Whatever you need.” you were embarrassed now, your cheeks flaming red. 

“So, while we’re on tour, I’m going to need to be on a restricted meal plan.” your brows furrowed in confusion. He continued, “I need to lose some weight, so I have to go on a pretty strict diet.” 

“Why do you need to lose weight?” you looked at his figure, buff and healthy, and found yourself confused but also frustrated for some reason. 

“Oh, uh, I’m just kinda the biggest member in the group. And I don’t want our fans to be disappointed in how I look.” Without realizing, you stood up quickly. 

“Excuse me if I’m being too forward, but that’s ridiculous. You look strong and healthy, which I’m sure your fans would be extremely happy about.” you realized your emotions and slowly sat back down. “While I know that you are in control of what you do and how you live, I just think that you shouldn’t restrict yourself. You already know how stressful touring is on your body.” His eyes were wide with your sudden outburst. 

“You… You really think so?” He muttered, still shocked. 

“But uh that’s just my professional opinion. I would hate for you to pass out or fall ill because of something that could have been avoided.” you cleared your throat and shuffled through some papers. For the first time in four years, your heart was fluttering. Like it had back then. No, this was inappropriate right off the top. Not to mention not what you wanted. “I can, um, make sure that there are healthier options that will keep you on track without restricting yourself.” you began typing an email, desperately avoiding eye contact with him. You knew if you saw the way he looked at you, you would immediately blush. 

“I would really appreciate that. Thanks for being so helpful.” you glanced at him and the way he smiled made you want to melt into the floor. He quickly stood up and bowed. “I look forward to working with you.” And then left the room. You turned your back to the door and covered your now fully flushed face. What in the hell was that? Maybe because you haven't felt like this in four years, you felt it all at once. Yeah, it’s probably just because of that. 

“Thomas, are you messing with me right now?” your tone was stern, your brows furrowed as your grip tightened on the phone in your hand. 

“Unfortunately, no Ms. y/l/n. We’ve tried to find replacements, but are unable to hire anyone.” 

“Okay, what about interns? Anyone?”

“This isn’t the kind of thing we can trust an intern with. This is essentially the most important role, ma’m. And the tour officially starts tomorrow, so I’m worried things may start on the wrong foot if this position isn’t filled.” 

“Don’t they have management on their end?” 

“Yes, but they hired us so that those employees could stay in Seoul.” You thought for a moment, annoyed. They needed an artist manager, someone who would work personally with the boys to get them where they needed to go as well as ensure their safety. It’s what you had started out doing before starting this company yourself, seeing the need was great. “I apologize if this is speaking out of turn, ma’m, but I think you would be a great fit for this. The main issue is that we need someone fluent in Korean and you can fulfill that requirement.” you rolled your eyes. 

“I suppose you have a point there. Let me talk with the advisory board about it and see if the v.p would be willing to fill in while I’m gone. I’ll update you.” 

Everything went swimmingly, if you can imagine that. Everyone was more than okay with you stepping out for a few months, meaning things wouldn’t need to be as uptight (but they never told you that). That morning you met the boys at their hotel, explaining that you would be in charge of caring for them the entire U.S leg of the tour, stressing that they shouldn’t hesitate to ask for anything. Their comfort and happiness was the top priority. 

“I thought you were the company CEO, why are you doing a job like this?” The leader, Bangchan, asked as they were riding in the van to the venue. 

“I am the CEO. However, I’m also the only person who could fill this position on such short notice.” you answered politely, giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I’m more than qualified. I did this for a while before starting the company.” He nodded, flashing you a smile before one of the boys called for his attention in the seat behind him. 

After arriving at the venue, you jumped into action. Directing the boys towards their green room, sending the crew where they needed to go, and checking in with venue staff to ensure that everything was going according to the email that had been sent to them. Once things were handled outside, you poked your head in to check on the guys. 

“Is everything okay for you guys? Do I need to run for anything?” 

“Oh, no, everything’s perfect. Thank you miss…?” Bangchan was obviously unsure of how to address you. 

“Just call me y/n! We’re going to be spending quite a bit of time together, so no need to be formal!” you bowed and left, going to double check that things were in place for the boys, like water bottles, towels, other things. You felt the thrill of frantically running around that you had missed. Spending years in the office had made you forget how exciting it was to be on the scene. Maybe you would do this more often. 

You walked back into the green room to check on things, as you were working down your list, when you had clearly walked in on a conversation. When they noticed you, they switched from English to Korean. And you could tell he was talking about you. It was Han? The one with the puffy cheeks. You were still learning their names. 

“I wonder if she even knows what she’s doing. Like, how can a CEO know anything about what it’s like to actually be there? I bet she’s super overwhelmed.” 

“Ah, you weren’t in my van earlier when I explained it to Bangchan. I’m more than qualified, as I did this for a few years when I was in college. But I appreciate you worrying, it makes me feel very cared for. I hope you’ll continue to care for me moving forward.” You responded back in perfect Korean, which resulted in both of them looking at you with wide terrified eyes. 

“I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you! I shouldn’t have been talking like that about you.” Han ended his sentence with a 90 degree bow and the other member (I.N?) also bowed. 

“Oh, don’t worry too much about it! I’m not offended at all!” You flashed them a smile and continued doing your work, successfully instilling the fear in them that would make them behave for you on this tour. 

As you continued about my work, fluttering from here to there, you accidentally walked into where apparently the weights were. Bangchan and Changbin were doing some pump up reps to make sure their muscles looked good. Your eyes instantly went to the shoulder muscles that were showing through Changbin’s shirt and you had to force yourself to turn away and look anywhere else. 

“Uh, just checking in boys. You’ve got about 20 minutes until the VIP soundcheck begins, do you need anything from me before then?” 

“Oh, actually, it would be amazing if you could bring us a few bottles of water? We forgot before we started.” Bangchan asked politely. You quickly reached into your backpack and pulled out two bottles. You turned around to set them on a bench and had to avert your eyes. 

“Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be around.” You bowed and then quickly left the room. Good lord, that's dangerous. 

The show went amazingly, of course. As you watched from behind the stage, a bundle of towels in your arms, you found yourself enamored by their energy. You usually never cared much to pay attention during shows back when you were younger. But back then, you would usually find a cute roadie and flirt with him the entire time. A waste of time by your current standards. Also, why would you want to miss out on this? When they came back for their first outfit change, they were sweating so badly that they seemed so grateful for something as simple as a towel. After a quick change, a few makeup and hair touch ups, they were back out there for more. When the end of the show came, you found yourself getting emotional for some reason. It was almost like you could feel the sadness of their fans (which you learned are called Stay) at them leaving. Like this night they had been waiting so long for was now over and they weren’t sure when they would see them again. The boys, however, were exhausted. You could tell they gave absolutely everything they had for this show. There's no way they would be like that for every single show, right? 

Around five shows in, you found yourself feeling more and more comfortable with the boys. And clearly they started to feel comfortable around you as well, the younger ones affectionately referring to you as “Noona”. At the beginning, they were nervous to ask for anything. Now, you couldn’t get away from them. 

“Noona! Can you take us to a convenience store? I want some snacks.” 

“Noona, will we have time to sightsee?” 

“Noonaaaa, we’re in Seattle, we need to get Starbucks.” 

And you honestly didn’t mind it. They were adorable and it was your job to get them whatever they wanted. You found yourself getting closer to Felix and Hyunjin, two people you didn’t expect to get close to in the beginning. Felix obviously warmed up to you pretty quick, as he was just so talkative and sweet from the start. You found yourself talking with Hyunjin about things like fashion and art when the two of them were together. 

There was only one problem- you sensed that someone was growing a crush on you. That someone, of course, was Changbin. And you already were against dating/marriage, but you also knew engaging romantically with a client was extremely inappropriate. And it took everything in you to shove these feelings deep down. Of course, he was cute. And kind. And a great person to talk with. And good lord he was hot. He also had this habit of subtly complimenting you that drove you absolutely crazy. “Noona, your hair looks nice today.” “It’s sweet how attentive you are to us.” “Noona, that eyeshadow suits you really well.” 

They were coming up on the end of the tour when you found yourself alone on the roof with Changbin, stargazing in silence. Silence wasn’t uncomfortable with him. 

“We probably won’t see you after next week, huh?” He suddenly asked out of nowhere. 

“Uh, yeah, it’s not likely. Unless we can't find someone when you guys come again.” You felt nervous as the air shifted between the two of you. He obviously had something he wanted to say and you had a feeling it was something you didn’t want to hear.

“Can I confess something to you?” 

“You probably shouldn’t.” You were trying your best to remain logical and level headed as you always had been. 

“You don’t want me to?” 

“It’s not that, but I don’t want you to get in trouble.” 

“I won’t get in trouble.” 

“Alright, fine. What would you like to confess?” You asked and your heart was pounding. You didn’t want to have to turn him down. To reject his confession of love. But you couldn’t let yourself fall into this trap again. While he seemed sweet now, there was lots of time for him to become like the others. Maybe he only feels this way because you're conveniently in front of him. 

“I… uh, I think I have feelings for you. I don’t even know why I’m confessing this to you, but I can’t go on pretending that I feel differently.” He looked at you expectantly. You took a deep breath, and looked out at the skyline. 

“Changbin, I uh, I’m sorry but, um, I don’t really want to date or get married or anything like that.” Your hands were trembling. You were scared of how he would react, if he would hate you now. You actually cared how he felt. 

“Can I ask why you feel that way?” He asked softly, looking over at you. Tears pricked at your eyes. No one has ever asked why. No one cared enough to wonder. 

“Um, I just have a bad past with dating. I’ve never been anyone’s first option. I had my heart broken alot and this is a way to protect myself. If I close the door completely, no one can come in and hurt me.” It was silent again, the only noise coming from the traffic on the street far below. 

“So… I just have to prove that you’re my first choice and that I want you for you?” A tear slipped down your cheek. How did he guess that second part? 

“I mean, you can try. I’ll allow that. But, it’s going to be a lot of work. I’m kinda messed up.” You admitted, swiping the tears away from your face. He nodded slowly from where he was. At this point, the men from the past would have scooted over and put their arm around you. Changbin stayed where he was and watched you carefully. 

“I think you’re worth it. And I haven’t even known you that long. I can’t imagine how much more I’ll think that the more I know you… But let's start as friends first, yeah? I won’t push you into anything.” Your head was spinning. How was a man this considerate? He had to be faking. There's no way this could be real. 

“Sure, let's do the friend thing first.” 

So, the two of you exchanged numbers. Once the tour ended, he kept texting you. You kept waiting for the day he would come on to you. Waiting for an unsolicited dick pic. Waiting for the “i can’t wait any longer”. But it never came. Changbin seemed more than content simply being friends. Every time you found yourself beginning to let your walls down a bit, the men of the past would flash into your mind. They said all the right things, made all the right choices. You were still hesitant about Changbin. Did he have some sort of ulterior motive? 

“Aren’t you sick of this?” You asked him one day on the phone. 

“Sick of what?” He responded, sounding confused. 

“Sick of me making you stay my friend. You probably already have feelings for someone else by now.” 

“No I don't.” He retorted quickly. “And I enjoy being your friend. If that’s what I have to do to be by your side, then that’s fine. I’ll be your friend forever if I have to.” You felt your eyes water.

“Why do you always say stuff like that? Are you trying to bring my guard down?” 

“I’m not trying to do anything, Noona. I only wish you could trust me.”

“I do trust you. I just don’t want you to expect anything from me romantically.” 

“You know that I don’t. I told you I’m more than happy being your friend.”

Months went on and you kept getting to know each other. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop at any moment for the first little while. However, you slowly realized how pure his intentions were. He never once crossed the line, never even tiptoed near it. He truly genuinely cared for you. And while he never crossed the line, he made it clear that he only had eyes for you. He said so many times that he was more than okay with playing the long game. Slowly trying to win your heart. If he didn’t get to love you, he wouldn’t get to love anyone else. 

One night, you were extra tipsy from a few too many glasses of wine and decided to give him a call. 

“Hey, Seo Changbin! How dare you make me like you! You came into my office that first day so handsome and kind and whatever. You wrapped me around your finger from the very beginning and that was so fucking rude of you.” You slurred over the phone. He quietly listened, chuckling to himself here and there. 

“Noona, did you have too much to drink?” 

“Maybe, but whatever! It’s none of your business!”

“Okay, then for your sake, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear any of that and hang up okay? Make sure to drink some water please.” He was firm but reassuring. God he was so hot. 

“Changbin, do you still like me?” you asked quietly after a moment. 

“Yes, very much.” He replied almost instantly. 

“But I’ve made you wait so long…” It had been a year at this point since his confession. 

“It hasn’t been too bad, don’t worry.” He assured you and you could practically hear his smile. “I’ve gotta get back to work, but I’ll check in on you later okay?” His voice had dropped a little bit and you felt your heart thump even harder. 

“Um yeah, sure.” You couldn’t even think about what he said, the way he said it had the biggest effect on your drunk brain. When he hung up, you almost immediately fell asleep.

Changbin had become one of your closest friends at this point. You confided in him, laughed with him. But you wouldn’t let yourself feel anything romantic for him. You couldn’t. Even though they had known each other for two years at this point, you were scared he would suddenly change. 

The boys had come to LA for KCon (you only knew because you played a large role in the planning of the event) and asked to meet up with you for dinner. You obviously agreed, as you cherished them deeply. They had rented out a space for them to go out to and were already there when you arrived. They greeted you happily, running over to hug you. You smiled, happy to see them again and complimenting them on their most recent work. You took the open seat at the table, between Seungmin and Felix but was also across from Changbin. 

You ordered some pasta, not caring what they thought. Back when you were younger, you would have opted for a salad or something healthy looking so as to not look like someone who wasn’t minding your figure. However, now, you gave no fucks. You weren't trying to impress any of them in that way and you were hungry so you were going to eat. 

“You seem like you’ve been pretty busy since we last saw you.” Chan comments as we wait for the food. 

“Yeah, we’re doing a lot for KCon on top of other small artists doing tours. Thankfully I don’t have to do all the work.” You joked, chuckling. “But yeah, I’ve kept pretty busy. Not too busy to keep up with you guys, though. Just when I think you guys have reached your peak, you somehow go even higher. I’m very impressed and proud.” 

“Ah, Noona! You’re making me blush!” Felix shouted out from across the table, covering his cheeks. The food came to the table not long after that, so the conversation jumped around. you ended up sitting back and listening as they talked, enjoying your meal and the company. However, as you glanced in front of you, Changbin was observing you with a small smile on his face. 

“You ok?” He mouthed to you, his gaze soft and kind. You nodded and smiled. He winked and nodded before looking away. You could feel your cheeks begin to flush. But then your chest started to tighten. At the end of the night, they went to go their separate ways, a slightly tipsy Felix clinging onto you and whining about how he missed you already. 

“Aw, our little Felix is such a cute drunk.” you cooed at him, smiling sweetly. His smile widened even further as he nuzzled into you and hummed. You walked him to their car, where he slowly let go of you, pretending to cry as he climbed into the vehicle. “I’ll text you, Lixie.” You promised from outside, which made him smile again. Changbin hung back, clearly waiting for his turn to have your full attention. 

“Can you make some time for me tonight?” you asked him, wandering over towards him. He smiled and nodded, waving to the guys as they left. 

When you both got to your place, you knew it was time. You couldn’t deny the way you felt for him and he had waited so patiently until now. They were sitting on the couch and talking when you turned towards him and took a deep breath. 

“Changbin, I have something to say.” You announced, unable to look at him. 

“Oh, uh okay. Go for it.” He shifted nervously, eyes watching you intently. 

“Firstly, I just wanted to thank you for being so amazing to me this past almost two years. I really appreciate having you by my side as a friend.” You looked up at him to gauge how he was reacting. He was watching you, his brows knit together in concentration. You decided to continue.”I think… It’s time that I acknowledged my real feelings…” You paused for a second and took a deep breath. “I like you. So much. Like, everything you do drives me crazy and I want you so badly that I can’t even be afraid anymore.” Once you finished talking, the air was quiet between the two of you. You looked at him after a minute, afraid of what his reaction would be. Relief flooded over you when you saw his head turned to the side, a wide smile on his face and flushed cheeks. 

“Uh, is that how you really feel? You’re not just saying that for me?” You could tell he was trying to keep his composure, now wanting to spook you with his excitement.

“Yes, it’s how I feel.” You muttered, your fingers still trembling. 

“It makes me so happy to hear that. Like, I could die right now after hearing you say that. That was the cutest confession I’ve ever seen in my life.” He started gushing, unable to hold back. He quickly caught himself and cleared his throat. “Um, but I’ll do whatever you want. Like, if you wanna stay friends, that would be fine. If you want to date, I’m also very okay with that.” You laughed, feeling so safe in his vulnerability. 

“I want to try dating you, Changbin. I haven’t dated in a long time, but I want to give it my best shot.” He turned his back from you and squealed. Actually squealed. Like, kicked his feet and giggled. 

“Can I hold your hand?” He asked once he turned back around. You could tell that even though he was excited, he was conscious of your history with guys and wanted to be respectful. Without realizing it, you closed the space between them and kissed him gently, your hand softly on the back of his neck in an effort to pull him closer. When you pulled away, his eyes were wide. 

“Does that answer your question?” You teased, smirking. He immediately pulled you onto his lap and looked up at you lovingly. 

“Tell me when you’re uncomfortable. I’ll stop immediately.” He stated firmly, one hand rubbing small circles on your back. you nodded and cupped his face in your hands. “You are so worth it. Even if I had to wait five, ten, twenty more years. Getting to hold you like this and know that you feel safe with me makes it all worth it.” He whispered, smiling happily. You kissed his forehead, then each of his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose, his chin, and then his lips again. 

“How are you so perfect?” You whispered, resting your forehead against his. 

“I’m not. I just… love you so much.” He obviously felt awkward admitting it this soon. You had figured as much, since there was no way he could still like you at this point and not love you. 

“I love you too, Bin.” You confessed softly, your eyes closed. There was silence between the two of you for a moment, the only sound to be heard coming from their breathing. 

“Like I said, tell me when you want to stop.” He breathed, his eyes connecting with yours. Your lips met his and the hunger kicked in for the both of you immediately. 

His lips traveled down your neck, stopping every now and then to suck on one spot softly before moving on. You took this opportunity to feel him up like you had dreamed of. His shoulders, his biceps, his chest (oh my god). His hands roamed as well, gently caressing you as his kisses slowly followed the neckline of your top. In a swift movement, you removed your top. His jaw was slacked as he took you in and had come to the discovery that you weren't wearing a bra this entire time. “Baby, what did I do to deserve you?” He muttered, his eyes locking with yours. you smiled and leaned in to kiss him, guiding his hands onto your breasts. He groaned into your mouth, gently squeezing each one. You slid your hands under his shirt, desperate to make contact with his skin. He smirked and pulled his shirt off. His figure was so gorgeous you couldn’t help but gasp. 

“Don’t ever show this to Stay.” You mumbled, your hands grazing across his chest. He laughed and nodded. 

“It’s all yours.” You couldn’t help but smile, even though you were so vulnerable, you felt safe. As the two of you continued to kiss, your hips had ideas of their own, grinding against his growing bulge. The way he whimpered against your lips only encouraged you to keep going. You had never been able to imagine him sounding like that in your wildest fantasies. 

His hands slowly slid down your body and lovingly grazed across your thigh towards your core. He smiled when he felt your soaked panties, to which you bit your lip and blushed. “Such a good girl, already wet for me.” His voice was husky with lust. Combined with his already flushed cheeks and slightly swollen lips, you couldn’t handle how sexy he was. “You still okay?” He asked, his fingers resting tantalizingly close, just on your inner thigh. He made a point to make eye contact, patiently waiting for your answer. You nodded, caressing the back of his head softly. A question of how long this consideration would last wandered into your mind, but you cast it aside. If it was only temporary, you would deal with it later. But for now, there was no one else in the world but Seo Changbin. 

He slid your panties to the side, his fingers sliding along your slit to make contact with your core. He hummed happily, his head resting in the crook of your neck. He gently pulled away and laid you down, his hand resting behind your head as you laid down. 

“I’ve dreamed about tasting you for so long.” He seemed to be muttering to himself as he pulled your skirt off and removed your panties with it. You spread your legs wide for him, your heart pounding with excitement. “Ah, so pretty.” He whispered as he rubbed your thigh gently. You could feel your hips shift, desperate for his touch. He dove in face first, his tongue instantly getting to work. Your hands flew into his hair as you moaned. His tongue expertly flicked in and out of you, going faster than you could have ever imagined. You would forever view his rapping differently after tonight. His thumb made lazy circles around your clit as he lapped up every drop of you. Far too quickly, you felt that familiar knot tighten in your stomach. 

“B-Bin… I’m gonna…” You were embarrassed, as you were sure he was expecting more from you. 

“Cum for me whenever you’re ready baby.” He responded, kissing your clit gently a few times before sliding one finger inside of you. That was enough to push you over the edge, your legs wrapping around his head, your back arching, the most lewd sounds you had ever experienced coming from your mouth. When you finally rode out your high and released his head, he sat back for a moment, wiping the slick from his face. You instantly covered your face in embarrassment, your cheeks red not only from your orgasm. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked, softly. He kissed your knee softly and rubbed small circles on your thigh. 

“I’ve never done that before, so I didn’t think I would finish that fast.” You admitted, your face still covered. 

“Wait… No one’s ever given you head before?” He asked, shocked. You nodded and slowly uncovered your face. 

“Me finishing wasn’t the most important thing for the only other guy I’ve been with.” You explained, suddenly feeling shy at your inexperience. 

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.” His eyes were sad as he placed reassuring kisses on your thigh. “That’s not how it’s supposed to be.” He explained, shaking his head. “In fact, you finishing many times is my goal.” he crawled up over your body until he was basically on top of you. He kissed your lips, gently at first. 

“But what about you?” you pulled back and asked, softly. 

“It’ll happen eventually, but I’m not worried about it. I want you to feel the best I can make you feel.” He kissed you again, hands gently rubbing your sides. “But before that can even happen, I gotta stretch you a bit.” His hand slid down your body and the rest of him followed, slowly inserting one finger inside your now needy core. “Oh my god, you’re so tight.” He hissed through gritted teeth. He slowly started thrusting, setting a steady pace for himself. Soon, it was two fingers, then three. 

“Want you… So bad…” you moaned, arching your back with your eyes closed. 

“Yeah? What do you want? Tell me. Use your words.” You looked at him in surprise. This cocky attitude was unexpected but so welcome. 

“W-want… ugh… want your cock in me.” you groaned, his fingers fucking your faster and faster while you begged for him. “Please, Bin.” you whined, reaching for him. He instantly folded, taking off his pants and underwear faster than you thought was possible. 

“Well, when you ask so nicely, I guess I have to.” He groans, dragging his tip against your slit. He lined himself up with your entrance and you glanced down in time to see how big he was. You worried for a second that you weren't stretched enough, but you were determined to take every bit of him with no fuss. “Are you ready?” He looked at you for confirmation, his breathing heavy but clearly still very much in control. You nodded, biting your lip in anticipation. He inserted his tip and groaned. Slowly, he slid himself in, making sure to take time to allow you to stretch around him. Meanwhile, he was kissing your neck softly and whispering encouraging words in your ear in between his own groans and whimpers. “You take my cock so well baby. Like you’re made for me.” “Almost there, princess. You’re doing so good. Being such a good girl for me.” He finally made it all the way in, your hips meeting. You felt so full of him but in the best way possible. He stayed still for a minute, allowing you to stretch around him and adjust to his size. You bucked your hips, wanting him more and more with every moment. “Be patient, beautiful. I’m gonna take real good care of you, don’t worry.” He cooed, kissing your gently on the lips. So, this is what it was like to make love, you thought to yourself. This is what it means to not be used for your body. You were ripped out of those thoughts by his shallow thrusts, the grunts coming from his mouth sending you over the moon. With every thrust, he pulled out a little more, setting a slow but comfortable pace. You wrapped your legs around him and your arms around his neck. you wanted him closer than close. You made out with him in the sloppiest way you had ever encountered, moaning into eachothers mouths while swimming in pleasure. Without realizing, you started to clench around him. This must have been something he liked, because his controlled pace started to get sloppy and you felt his cock twitch with every clench. “I-if you keep doing that, I’m gonna lose control.” He groaned through gritted teeth. “I won’t be able to stop.” His pace was quickening, arms on either side of your head to stabilize himself. 

“Please don’t stop.” you whimpered, the idea of him stopping right now being too much. You suddenly saw his eyes shift, where they were once calm and clear, they were now dark and lustful. Almost primal. He wrapped you in his arms and held you up while he pounded into your, hips snapping into yours with every thrust. You mewled as he hit your g-spot repeatedly, as if he knew exactly where it was. You felt the knot forming in your stomach, getting close again. Without much warning, you came around him, your grip tightening on his hair at the back of his head. He didn’t slow down however, still pounding into your faster and faster, growls coming from his mouth. You felt him twitch as you saw him get closer and closer. “Cum for me baby.” you groaned, kissing and biting his neck, hands roaming around his chest, torso, shoulders, back. With a loud groan, he finished, painting the inside of you in spurts. He looked at you with wide eyes as he cummed. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to finish in you.” He tried to pull himself out, but you wrapped your legs around him and kept him in place as he finished. 

“I honestly don’t even care.” you sighed, feeling full of him. He slowly pulled himself out, rubbing your thighs lovingly. 

“You did so well, baby. So so well.” He praised, kissing your thighs with a smile. He went to the bathroom to clean himself up and came back with a towel to clean you up as well. You reached to take the towel from him, but he shook his head. “This is my job.” which you also found confusing. Your ex just threw a towel at you, which you thought was standard. He slowly and gently cleaned you up, careful of how sore you were already. “There you go my love. Oh, don’t forget to use the bathroom too so you don’t get an infection.” He reminded, a soft smile on his face. You nodded and got up, hobbling over to the bathroom. As you sat on the toilet, you felt your cheeks flush. That wasn’t the direction you had imagined things going tonight, but you couldn’t be happier. 

As you climbed back into bed, you expected Changbin to roll over and go to sleep. So, you did the same. 

“Are you upset?” He asked softly, reaching out for you. 

“No, I just figured you were tired.” You commented, rolling over to look at him. 

“I’ll never be too tired to hold you.” He says matter of factly, pulling you in closer. “If I ever meet whoever your ex is, I’m gonna have to kick his ass.” He mumbles, kissing your hair. 

“Wait, why?” you chuckled, pulling back to look at him. 

“He clearly wasn’t very good to you. And he made you think all of that was normal.” He frowns. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to be with any guy ever again if you thought they were all like that.” You felt yourself melt a bit at his words. He spoke so matter of factly about feelings you had never disclosed to anyone, him included. As you laid together, he peppered your face with small kisses, whispering sweet things to you. You felt so comfortable, so safe. You started to drift off, your eyes feeling heavy. You woke up to the lights off and a cozy Changbin in front of you. His eyes were closed, but a small smile rested on his face. You decided to let yourself fall back asleep in his arms. 

When you woke up the next morning in an empty bed, your heart instantly began racing. Was he disappointed in your performance? Did the post nut clarity hit in the morning? You looked around and saw no traces of him. You thought maybe you had dreamed it all, but upon looking in the mirror, you knew that wasn’t true. Your neck was covered in hickies and your lips were still a little swollen. You wanted to be upset, but you couldn’t be. You decided to just throw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt before heading out to make yourself breakfast. However, as you walked into the kitchen, you were shocked to hear someone already there. You slowly poked your head in and felt your eyes widen at the sight of a shirtless Changbin cooking your breakfast. 

“Um, hi?” you rasped, your voice scratchy from sleep. He turned and smiled. 

“You’re awake! I’m trying to make you some breakfast.” you walked over and saw the scrambled eggs that he was so lovingly making were slightly overcooked, a little brown in some spots. However, that happened to be exactly how you liked them. “Sorry, I know I’m not a great cook.” He rested his head on your shoulder as you turned the heat off and moved the pan to the cool burner. 

“What do you mean? You cooked these perfectly.” you smiled and patted his cheek. “I make them like this on purpose.” He hugged you tightly from behind, giggling. 

“Wow, we must really be meant for eachother then, huh?” He kissed your cheek over and over, making your smile even wider. You felt tears prick the back of your eyes but tried to hold them back. However, Changbin was as observant as ever. He turned you around and held your face in his hands, brows furrowed in concern. “What’s going on, honey?” His voice was soft, his thumbs grazing your cheeks softly. 

“I just thought you had left, so I’m happy you’re youre.” you smiled softly at him as you spoke. He frowned. 

“I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. You’re officially stuck with me now, Noona.” He kissed your forehead gently and then flashed you a wide smile. “Let’s eat before it gets cold, yeah?” He gently guided you over to the food, where they both made a plate and sat down at your table. While they were eating, his phone started buzzing from the counter. He attempted to ignore it, saying it probably wasn’t important. 

“I bet it’s Channie-hyung. You should go answer it.” You took a bite of your food as you watched him walk over, giving you a wide eyed look when he saw you was right. 

“Give me a minute.” He whispered and stepped into the hallway to answer. Part of you wanted to eavesdrop, but you decided to focus on eating . He came back a few minutes later and sighed. “I have to leave here soon. We have a soundcheck in like 20 minutes.” Your eyes widened, as the venue was at least 10 from your house. 

“Shit, then we need to go right now.” You stood up, abandoning your food and running to find your shoes. 

“No, it’s okay! I’ll just get a driver to come get me.” 

“It’s fine, I can just drop you off.” You were already putting your shoes on and grabbing your keys. 

“But I don’t want-” He stopped himself, looking down. 

“Anyone to see me?” you stopped and realized this was the other shoe dropping. 

“Not for any reason you’re thinking. I just don’t want you to get hurt because you’re seen with me.” You handed him his shirt, which you had grabbed from the room, and nodded. 

“It’s all good. I understand.” Did you completely mean it? You weren't entirely sure, but you decided to be cool about it rather than making him feel bad. You knew you had issues that you needed to work on too, he didn’t need to deal with all of it. 

“You sure?” He seemed confused, trying to search for all of his stuff while also talking with you. You walked over to him and hugged him from behind. 

“Yes, I’m sure. Now, get outta here. You’ve got work to do.” You kissed his shoulder. “But I’ll see you later.” He turned his head in surprise. 

“You’ll be there tonight?” He asked with a wide smile. 

“Yeah! Perks of having my team basically handling all of the artists is I can get myself very good seats. You’ll be able to see me, no problem.” You giggled at his reaction, which was him quickly turning around with eyebrows raised and an amused smile on his face. “And I have a very cute outfit planned.” You added, which only made him smile more. 

“Can you come say hi to us before the show? The boys would love to see you.” He asks happily, clearly excited at this new development. 

“I’ll see if I can sneak my way in.” You wink, laughing. He gave you a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door to meet his driver. 

You put on your outfit: a black crop top with a hot pink harness, a black leather mini skirt, and some black knee high platform boots. You did some hella cute makeup and did your hair, making sure to wear your Stray Kids headband you had ordered, since everyone needed to know who you were there for. Once you were ready, you made your way to the venue, all access badge around your neck. You wandered into the back, stopping one of your staff members to ask them where Stray Kids' green room was. Once you got there, you knocked on the door three times before opening the door. You were greeted by a chorus of “NOONA!!”s, which made your heart very happy. Felix ran over and hugged you tight. 

“Noona, you look so pretty! I didn’t know you were coming!” He was so excited to see you, his smile was so wide. You sat down with Han, pestering him as he was trying to play a game on his phone. Only Felix, Han, I.N, and Seungmin were in the room at the moment. After Han finally gave up, you decided to chat with Seungmin. They were all sat on one couch, chatting about this and that. Seungmin saw your headband and decided to tease you about it, saying “You must really like us, Noona.” to which you agreed. 

“Where's the rest of your group?” You asked, confused. 

“Oh, they’re still getting ready. Hair, makeup, outfit. All that fun stuff.” Han informed, once again distracted by something on his phone. After sitting and hanging out, the other boys finally came back. 

“Bestie! You’re here!” Hyunjin exclaimed excitedly running over and hugging you. 

“You look so pretty.” You gushed, looking at his outfit. He laughed and nodded. 

“You do too. I guess we’re two pretty best friends.” He joked and then both of you cringed while laughing. 

“Ah, our y/n is here.” Leeknow commented as he walked in, a small smile resting on his face. You greeted him happily, to which he gave you a small bow and then found a spot to relax before their performance. Next was Bangchan, who was happy to see you and gave you a hug. 

“Changbinnie will be here soon.” He teased, winking at you. You felt your cheeks flush and tried to laugh it off. You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with anyone, suddenly taking an interest in their fridge. 

“Old habits die hard.” You joked, straightening all the labels and pulling things forward in an effort to hide how nervous you are. Thankfully, the others didn’t seem to pick up on it, even though Chan kept trying to tease you. Changbin entered the room and instantly came over and wrapped you in his arms. 

“My baby is here!” He cheered, loud enough for everyone to hear. Your face flushed and you looked at him with wide eyes. “What?” He asked, confused with your reaction. You nodded your head towards the boys, who were looking at the two of you with intrigued expressions. “Oh, right.” He nodded and then turned towards them. “y/n and I are dating now.” He informed them, smiling widely. You didn’t think your face could feel any hotter, your hands coming up to shield yourself from the embarrassment. 

“Ah, so that’s where you were last night, Seo Changbin!” Leeknow pretended to scold, a mischievous smile on his face. You were so embarrassed, the boys laughing and heckling the two of you, that you were extremely relieved to see one of your staff members enter. 

“Miss y/n, I was asked to escort you to your seat so the artists can get ready for the show.” You nodded, jumping at the opportunity to leave the room. Changbin stopped you, pouting. His lip was jutted out as he pointed to his cheek. 

“Kiss please. For luck.” You could feel everyone's eyes on you, the embarrassment becoming almost too much. You rolled your eyes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, which made the boys all scream. You quickly headed towards the door, turning once to give a weak 

“Stray Kids, fighting!” before rushing out the door. 

The entire show was great, the boys all making a point to come over and wave at you at one point or another. Changbin was extra, of course, blowing kisses to you every chance he had. The girls behind you were losing their minds, thinking it was for them. You smiled, happy that they were happy. But you also felt smug, knowing that you had him wrapped around your finger. You were excited for what the future would hold with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thanks for reading! hope you love it!

[inevitablestars]

HEY LINDS this is my Official Attempt to sway you towards perciver i hope you like it and that it doesnt turn you off them forever, now first off!

general relationship potential:

percy and oliver are in the same year and as far as we know they are the only boys in gryffindor in their year which makes them not only roommates but also the only boys in their room. for seven years.

percy is incredibly misunderstood by his whole family pretty much always, they all avoid him or are rude to him or just misunderstand him completely. with oliver's proximity its very likely hes the first person ever in percys life to properly observe him and understand him!!!

percy is the most career driven singleminded ambitious motherfucker in gryffindor.... second only to oliver!!! who is the most quidditch obsessed bitch on this planet and arguably has more solid career goals of anyone in that entire series. they are hyperfocused! they are girlbossing! they are not getting a wink of sleep bc they both get so lost in their work they forget what time is!

classic jock/nerd combo except oliver is a jock who is secretly a nerd (think of all the quidditch stats!!) and percy is a nerd who is secretly a jock (percy is a master spellcaster and nobody can convince me otherwise, that man fought multiple death eaters on his own at the battle of hogwarts and you do not get that kind of skill from just sitting behind a desk)

idk theres honestly a lot of directions one could take them but theyve just got so much chemistry and so much in common but also different and theyve got so much potential

(in my head they are the definition of autism/adhd solidarity but i know that not everyone hcs them that way which is cool too)

now for fic recs!!!

Twenty-nine - 85k - Endrina

percy weasley-centric fic that is honestly one of the most creative interpretations of him ive ever read, it goes deep into his past and his canonic decisions and stuff but theres a twist to it that is just gold, also its a whodunit where oliver's been framed for murder and only percy knows hes innocent its very very good and definitely played a huge part in me falling in love w percy's character

A New Life - 89k - AnotherAuthor, myroaringtwenties

percy and oliver meet post-war and help each other get their lives moving forward again, its very well written and very sweet but mind the tags its kinda heavy at points, it doesnt shy away from how hard the war was on everyone but the community that the weasleys and the quiddich players have is very warm and i love it

At least he has great abs - 12k - Irisen

this one is a cute shorter nonmagic soulmate au where oliver is a famous footballer and percy is a politician and they end up being soulmates, its very funny and light and i just enjoy it

(also i am technically writing a perciver fic rn its called Rely On Me and the first two chapters are up on ao3 but its my first fic attempt and i havent updated it all summer bc Life so pls dont feel obligated to read it i just felt like it would be weird if i didnt mention it)

anyway! i hope you enjoyed this if nothing else and if you read these or find other perciver fics or just wanna talk about em lmk bc i am always down to talk perciver i love them with my whole heart and soul <3

josephine hello. is this from literally ten months ago? perhaps it is. but i'm here now.... you mentioned perciver earlier and it reminded me that this has been sitting in my inbox for SO LONG

alright let's get into this

• iconic of them to be alone in a dorm for seven years together that already screams soulmates

• you're so right these two get their minds set on something and they're going to get it they're going to achieve whatever they want (tbh i already think they should put that energy toward like Getting Together but i distress)

• nerd jocks! a slay tbh

• i see the autism adhd thing i get it

• i also think like yeah i agree they have a lot in common when you dig into them but from one glance it's like ? these two? really? but then you see who they are at their core and it's like oh of course how could you think anything else (i have a lot of characters and dynamics that this sorta concept applies to i get it)

also love the inclusion of fic recs which i will check out when i am back to reading <3 consider myself convinced (it did not take much you already convinced me by just sending this ask)

[wetcatspellcaster]

Hi! Are you a Dragon Age fan at all? If so, are you looking forward to the Veilguard drop later this month, and do you have any plans to write any fic in that world in the future? :)

Also, as a Solasmancer I just want to say that have been thinking about Pieces a lot as the vibe I imagine for a Solas/Inquisitor Lavellan reunion in Veilguard, if we do get one (a girl can dream, right?). Specifically, this part:

"I’m so tired, Astarion. And I’m sorry, but I can’t be that girl for you, anymore.”

The sombre silence that followed was unlike anything Rosalie thought she had ever shared with Astarion, in the times before. They had had their mute periods - fraught, tense, and full of unspoken hurt - but nothing quite so resigned as this. Rosalie felt all the ways she didn’t align with the woman he’d known - how if one was superimposed upon the other, they would no longer fit. And then she felt mostly just… old. She raked a hand through her hair, feeling a deep heaviness settle upon her. It was almost as if, in admitting how much she had exhausted herself to get here, all that tiredness came down upon her once more.

The similarities between the two situations just really hit me right in the feels. Anyway, I absolutely adore Pieces, if you can't tell. Thanks for sharing your wonderful work with us!

hey beloved! thank you for the question.

I am very much looking forward to Veilguard. Dragon Age was my first videogame series I ever fully got mentally unwell about, and it's also the reason I started writing fanfiction at all. I've written for nearly all my canon inquisitors and wardens :) i'm very very excited, and not exaggerating when I say it had become one of my reasons to live - even if it's a bad game or whatever, that character creation may become one of the threads i hang by

I don't know yet if I'll write fic. I have two active wips I want to finish and I am already teetering on the edge of burnout, alongside a desire to start focusing on original projects. I also can't play veilguard until my thesis corrections are in, and the deadline for that is november 15th. which is only two weeks of waiting, but it means i don't want to be thinking about the game at any point as something i *have* to write fic for, or feel any pressure around. So I have no explicit plans. I want it to just be my reward for finishing my PhD! officially!

ngl, it's currently nice to have a piece of media I'm looking forward to that I don't want to produce content for, only consume :) and I'll still have two other WIPs, so it's not like people will be starved of my writing!

ofc, if the mood takes me and I get swept up in the frenzy, there will inevitably be fic. I was very mentally unwell about inquisition lmao, I nursed that fic idea for 4 years before I ever wrote any of it down. I imagine I will steer away from game fic, and so if I write anything it will either be pre-game Rook backstory or AU stuff. I also think it will not be pushed out the way my bg3 stuff was pushed out, so don't expect anything from me and then maybe a year or two from now you'll get surprised by something :D

I am not personally a solavellan girlie, but I did accidentally second lead Solas so hard in my Inquisition fic quite without planning to, it just happened organically bc it made sense for the characters. so I infinitely respect Solavallen girlies' beliefs xxxx

[m1ckeyb3rry]

A

LMAOOOO yeah lowk it was still more funny than embarrassing for me catching that typo here but if I found it after I sent it to someone else I think I’d be a goner

(Also wait speaking of I forgot to mention you’re seriously a trooper for reading all of orv…I followed the comic for awhile but I have a friend whose obsessed with it and like summarized the entire novel to me in like an essay (I’m still confused as hell because I lost track of the details) but after hearing it all from them it’s truly a ride…)

NOOO I SAW!! Ofc it’s sae LMAO classic itoshi scenario…yk maybe Karasu nation will come in clutch last minute…(I’m ngl I’m kinda glad none of those characters are on there oops LMAOOO I also don’t think they’d have much to do with aiku and honestly there’s so many works of them all) Ok I still kinda feel like it’s a win tho bc Karasu and Barou in second and third???

FRRR the edits are gonna go so hard…just imagine the Barou stripping scene LMAOO (the dudebros glazing Barou are everywhere omg)

I love how “the white haired dude” is an archetype of its own it’s so funny but so real…(gotta confess Im usually in the white haired dude fan section like somehow I end up gravitating to them too)

IM CRYING THE PARENTHESES it just goes on“or fifth…sixth……15th…” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

I’m crying your writing has made MY standards too high but honestly so real…even seabird sae is already better than like…a good majority of the population out there this is lowk sad

LMAOAO THE SELF HELP BOOKS I see the vision the purple green was also perfect for him

OOOOH I guess we’ve just gotta see what tiktok audio pops up on your fyp LOL but I’m excited I was leaning towards chigiri or Barou I was looking cooking way more for their ideas

LOL it’s ok that Nagi requester will get Nagi content from oaeu too!! I’m actually so hyped for the series

LMAO I plugged them into a generator and got Karasu!! I guess it’s the universe telling me not to stray from Karasu nation….lowk almost forgot that he’s essentially my namesake I got too desensitized to it so the generator really said remember your origins

OHHHHHHHHHH wait that’s kinda stupid on tumblrs part wdym the creator can’t see the results unless they vote??? SHDHS thats actually so annoying your rant is so valid (also just generally feel free to go wild ranting or venting it’s all good w me) im ngl if you want the next time you make a poll i can just vote early on and keep you updated on the results if you don’t wanna have that option there for people to screw with…but BRO YUKI AND OTOYA???? I know they generally still lag behind Karasu in terms of popularity s2 please save them

LMAO nah it’s perfectly reasonable and valid like some people don’t have the brain development for proper impulse control ig like damn

Ok well in the time I was writing it ig it’s over now good for you sae fans good for you (BOOO TOMATO TOMATO /j)

- Karasu anon

HAHAH our freaks are so matched i don’t even blink at 90% of your typos we truly are the same person LMAOAO

omg i LOVEDDDD orv i read it on my phone in the summer of 2023 when i had nothing else to do and it was genuinely so so good like the novel is PEAK i never read the webcomic version because i’m attached to the translations in the novel even though they’re not “official” but genuinely the novel is probably one of if not THE best things i’ve ever read like it actually changed my brain chemistry fr (it’s a long build but the ending arc is peak fiction)

SAE WON 💔 but very proud of karasu nation and barou nation for locking in and getting them so close to sae that was def unexpected!! and yeahhh that’s the vibe i was getting too like there’s no way for them to realistically be involved w aiku so it wouldn’t make sense for them to be there PLUS i don’t like them that much so i can’t cook up an idea to involve them w aiku the way i did w nagi 😰 speaking of which i think i have the idea for yukimiya HAHA basically aiku is like “okay we’re the two oldest blue lock members let’s be best friends 😄” and yukimiya is like “thanks but i already have a bestie ☺️” and ofc aiku is like WHAT and has to do some heavy recon (he probs recruits niko too LMAO atp niko is an honorary wingman just because he’s consistently aiku’s sidekick) and that’s where he finds reader which makes be like “hold on there is definitely something romantic going on here” so he tries to get yuki and reader together in order to finally have a soccer playing bff who’s also relatively normal (@ barou)

the craziest thing abt dude bros glazing barou is that he’s physically their ideal but in every other way he is NOTHING like them!! like that man respects women, cooks and cleans, is willing to accept his mistakes and work on them, hates people who are mid…he would think they’re goofy asf 😭

KDJDKSSJ i normally don’t really go for the white haired characters but nagi is an exception…my other top favs have been eren from aot (brown hair), megumi and yuta from jjk (black hair), and shinah from yotd (blue hair??) HAHA honesty karasu and rin are very in line w the kinds of characters i typically like physically but idk smth abt nagi appeals to me the most 🙂‍↕️

FBKDDNSJSN luckily it was NOT shidou!! i’m going to repost it so i’m sure you’ll know by the time you read this but i got chigiri 🤩 which honestly i can actually see but specifically his actual canon miraverse characterization NOT his overly feminized fandom self 😭 apparently they originally thought nagi which slay but they came to the same realization i did a while ago which is that as much as i love him the two of us are too similar in some ways and too different in other ways so we would actually not work out irl 😓💔 honestly chigimira wasn’t one i was necessarily expecting but it might be what i needed (idk if i could muster up a long fic idea for chigiri…maybe?? we will see #tbd)

LMAOAAO me when a man slides into my dms but he doesn’t buy me plane tickets and an expensive sandwich 😒 abt to start telling everyone i have a bf or smth HAHA because unless a man is miraverse bllk men level he’s simply not replacing nagi or karasu or sae or whoever 🥱

HELPP i’m glad the vision comes through i rlly like this cover!! i think i’m going to put the character’s name where it said “masterlist” on the masterlist so it’s easy to tell who the individual oneshot is abt 🤩 don’t want people to start reading expecting an aiku fic (at least until the last part which actually is for aiku)

i just got a barou request HAHA so it’ll def be chigiri or MAYBE bachira depending on what i feel inspired for!! agreed it’s time to open tik tok and feel the vibes out for what i want to write next…maybe watch some edits too while i’m at it for further assistance 😏

HAHA no fr stay true to your origins…i’m going to write all of them eventually anyways so it’s not that deep but i just wanted to figure out where I should start since all of them have such good premises that i can’t decide!! rip otoya and yukimiya though…hoping s2 + oaeu converts more people 😰

for now i think it should be okay like it’s nbd since so many other people do vote as well it’s just like a personal pet peeve HFKDJDSJS we all have smth that makes us tweak i suppose…i’m just in my isagi on field era 😩 i don’t do polls that often so it shouldn’t be a huge issue but expect me to have at least a paragraph in our convos crashing out over that whenever i do end up making a poll 😭

sae nation is too strong…they’re inevitable fr KFJDKD honestly proud of karasu and reo for hanging on for a bit that’s impressive 🤩 in the end though an itoshi bro is basically a guaranteed win (unless like i said kaiser or MAYBE isagi are in the running too)

[tmwcs]

I just finished reading

ↀOUBLE IIROUBLE - CHAPTER ONE

AND OMG???? stop rae you didn't have to make such a bop 🤭🤭

Yeon-jin and sa-ra🤨🤨 I see what you're doing rae I see

And I love that fact that both of them do different sports it shows how different they are from each other like rugby and basketball? Two whole different things

"Were all that we have...just eachother....right after our mom had...." had what?🤨🤨

"Aren't you ganna introduce me?" NOOOO WE DONT LIKE YOU‼️‼️‼️ bet she will become one of our issues in the future, I can sense it

Heejeong's silver ash hair color and heeseung's jet black strands was enough to set the boys apart" pls heeseung's jet black hair looked so good on him omg 😫😫😫 like I died and was brought back to live bc of that hair 😔 and heejeong in silver???? Stop i cant😣

THE PICTURES YOU INSERTED???? you want me dead.

"Dont be nervous...shhh" SIR NOW IM EVEN MORE NERVOUS ???? WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP OUR Y/N???????

"Good girl...." goodbye, This person is official dead. How are you feeling after killing me rae?

"You thought it kind of him to treat to just as any brother would have towards their sister"

"If only you looked up fora moment and caught the boy's eye ravishing your face and body as he raised a brow in peaked interest" yes sister and brother 🤓

"Directly towards......you....." dead again.

THE VID???? pls rae stop i cant anymore😔😔

Also you were supposed to get this yesterday but I fell asleep halfway through so... here it is😔😔

okay, the way i laughed in reading this lol. Silky, my dear silky, you're killing me. I posted chapter 2 and 3 too, they're on the masterlist that's pinned on my home page ;)

so yes....i used the names of the buillies from The Glory, and these bitches are inspired by those girls. ;)

The boys with their own set of gifts for each sport...yoo...be prepared for some juicy content relating to their talents.

You'll see what that comment was about their mother in a much later chapter. But for now....i cannot spoil. shhhhh ;)

I love the black and silver hair, so that's why i made twin versions lol.

with the pictures, hehehehehe i'm soooo glad you liked them. but i dont want you dead! :( come back to meeeeee silky!

Okay, now heeseung with the whole hand under the table and his comments....like that already eluded alot of tension. but also (when you get to chapters 2 and 3) those smaus are giving off lots of tension too.

and the way they interact with you is just...*muah!* i love it. its kind of dangerous, forbidden, secretive, but ooooh so sexy.

I LOVE THAT VIDEO!

and no worries my fine Silky, enjoy yourself and catch up. I finsihed part 1 of Aftermath yesterday as well, alot of my content got erased so i have to retype the final chapter of SE7EN so while i'm working on that, i'm pushing out the new series chapters since i have the base line for each one. ;)

[cheryyori]

NIGHTMARE EYES PT. 3

pairing(s): steven grant/fem!oc, platonic marc spector/fem!oc for now (platonic dane/fem!oc)

summary: Waking up after being chased by spirits was never easy, but she's got a date! And she's not gonna let anything get in the way of that!

warning(s): mental health illness, possible inaccurate depictions of DID (I tried my best to research tho in spare time, also based on events in the show), horror elements, gore/blood elements

CONTENT WARNING(S): paranormal psychometry, out of body experience, your tiny daily dose of paranormal ghost investigation, mentions of crime syndicates, murders, cult related themes, Steven in distress :(, some comforting and protective Sunny :)

author's note: finally getting into the plot of the show, kinda went overboard with this one so its pretty long. I'm not covering all of it bc we already know how it goes I'm mainly covering the part with Sunny involved and then going a bit after the series ends unless s2 is announced or if the boys are included in any other marvel projects

Also trying out a new format, mostly so the dialouge doesn't seem so clunked together like in the last two bc I write a lot to describe actions and dialouge. Lmk if this is better or you prefer the old one.

This is just the bare bones of the story not the official final draft.

Other than that enjoy this word vomit.

Open to writing drabbles/hc within this au if interested (spoilers free until certain parts are posted), feel free to send asks regarding this au or to be part of the taglist!

Red italicized is Izanami either speaking or in Sunny's head, italicized is speaking in Korean

taglist: @ahookedheroespureheart

《PREV | NEXT》

When Sunny woke up she felt her head throb.

What the fuck happened????

She blinked as she looked around to see herself in her flat. What the fuck???

She paused, trying her best to recall what happened.

She remembers walking back home to the bus stop, the spirits appearing, running away from them, and Steven.

Oh god, that right Steven had found her looking like shit and helped patched her up before she passed out from exhaustion.

She remembers him saying he needed to do something, what it was she doesn't know.

(Also why was he dress differently, not mention his accent....she'll make a note to ask when she sees him later)

She blinked as she got out from under the duvet and headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower and clean herself up.

After that she got dressed and opened the door, hoping that she would see Steven, but oddly she didn't.

Huh, weird.

Well he did say he was doing something, she's not sure on what the specifics was but she recalls how he talks to his mother often.

Sunny wonders if what he was doing involved her. Maybe he went to visit her.

She recalls him mentioning it once. She hopes that's the case.

She decides to text him just in case. She saw the text being delivered and would check later that day.

She sighs as she headed towards the bus, it seemed quiet without Steven there to converse with her or even his presence in general. When he wasn't talking to her, he would rest his eyes, taking a short nap on her shoulders before her stop.

Regardless it felt lonely. She recalled the time when he was gone for a a week, although at that time she was anxious to meet him again after the first kiss.

The day passed by slowly until her break arrived. She wondered if she should visit Steven at the mueseum when she felt her phone vibrate.

She saw a message from Steven, making her sigh in relief.

He texted her that he'll be out of town for a bit to help some relatives, so she was right sort of.

It also mentioned that he'll be back before their date and that he'll meet her there.

Okay, okay, that's good. At least she didn't have to worry about him unlike the last time.

And the mention of their upcoming date makes her swoon just a bit. Her cheeks were flushed as she squealed a bit.

God she felt like a stupid high school girl at the thought of their date.

Okay, her day just got a bit better, sure it'll be a bit lonely that she wouldn't be able to see or talk to Steven until their date but it was worth it.

And for once Izanami was quiet for the rest of the day, with only a few harmless ghosts popping out here and there. Even better.

FRIDAY NIGHT - DATE NIGHT 6:25PM

She had standing in front of the mirror for an hour, clothes thrown all over the place.

What the fuck??? She was sure she had more colors in her closet than beige, browns, and black.

Not to mention a lot of them were either loose tee, vests, sweaters, or cardigans. Did she not have any dresses to wear???

She groans as she sat at the edge of her bed only in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Maybe Izanami was right...she really didn't have anything to wear for this date.

"I heard my name."

"Son of a---" Sunny jumps as she looked to see the goddess skimming through her closet. The goddess frowns as she picked up a few items before tossing it to the ground.

"Why are there so many browns in your wardrobe?" Her face scrunched in disgust before glancing back at Sunny.

"Don't you ever wear stuff like that again, you know I absolutely hate the color brown!" She huffed with a finger pointed at her and stomping her foot down.

"There's nothing wrong with brown, it's a nice neutral color," Sunny mutters, "And you're not even the one wearing them!"

"It's dull, you should wear more brighter and bolder colors if you want to stand out," Izanami replied.

"I don't want to stand out, neutral colors are nice," Sunny protests while Izanami scoffed and searched through her closet.

"Regardless, you have nothing appropriate for fine dining, one of these days we need to stop by mall."

"With your taste in brands, I wouldn't be able to afford it."

"It'll be on me, my dear. You know monetary items means nothing to me. I'm practically rich," Izanami replied.

"As kind as that sounds, it's also not my style."

Izanami rolls her eyes and sighs, "Fine, but considering you have a date in," she paused to glance up at the clock, "roughly an hour and a half, I'll lend you a dress from my own personal wardrobe..."

Sunny paused before relenting, she didn't really have of a choice at this point, "Fine," she mutters, "I have to be there at 8, so just hurry it up alright. And wipe that smug grin off your face."

"Excellent! I have the perfect dress in mind, now make haste, we still need to do you hair and makeup!" She said.

About 30 minutes later, Sunny was wearing a slim fitted white dress with long flowy skirt and a puffed long sleeves.

"Hm, yes as always my styles is impeccable, I'm sure your little boy toy will drop dead when he see you," Izanami nods.

"Don't call him that," She frowned, "I actually like him, so I would appreciate it if you don't call him that."

"I'm only stating the facts, my dear."

"Would it kill you to be nice for once?" Sunny asked, busy with doing her makeup as Izanami sat on her bed, glancing at herself in her phone.

"I don't know what you mean, my dear. I'm always nice," she replies.

"I mean really nice, not bitchy nice like you usually are," Sunny stated.

"You're tying my hands, but fine," Izanami sighs, "I'll try to be nice to your date."

"Also please don't try to scare him, he already seems nervous as it I don't want to add more stress because you want to poke fun at him!"

"Fine," she draws out, "I'll leave you two be, for now," and with that she disappeared.

Sunny sighs, "Always have to have the last word huh?" She then puts on some earring as the last finishing touches before noticing the pendant on her dress.

She had almost forgotten that she had picked it up. Damn she was so distracted with her date that she forgot to ask Izanami about it.

She sighed as she inspected it closer now and noticed some red splotches on it. She felt an unsettling feeling at the red.

As she inspected the pendant, her vision slowly blurred and a sense of dizziness followed after.

She winced and placed one hand on the dresser while she held her head as a suddenly ringing filled her ears.

What the fuck??? She blinked once, then twice. Then shut her eyes tight, hoping that the ringing would stop.

Her suddenly freezes and seized up as a sudden electrical jolt shot through her.

Once she opened her eyes, she expected things to be back to normal, only one problem. She wasn't in her room anymore.

Instead she was in some sort of lobby.

"Are you kidding me? Now of all time?!" She frowned as she glanced around to see how she would get out of this place.

Without any choice, she wandered around the lobby, hoping to get out of here quickly and back to reality.

The sounds of her footsteps echoed across the area, she noticed that the floor was made of...what the fuck??? It that pure marble???

She doesn't dwell on the thought before she nears what might be a receptionist desk and see a set of keys.

For emergencies only, the label says. Well she guesses this was an emergency and swipes it from the desk.

Sunny glanced around and saw a label that says emergency stairs, maybe that was what the key was for.

She moves close and inserts the key into the lock, hearing it click open.

Since she has nowhere to go, the only option was to go up.

She reached the first floor and found herself in a dimly lit hallway.

She paused hearing some sounds. She glanced around finding nothing.

A chill ran down her spine as she continued. She paused noticing some papers scattered on the floor.

She picks up one paper and reads it carefully.

It was a newspaper article, listing how 2 girls had gone missing again. Sunny felt unsettled as she read it.

Two girls goes missing, only for their bodies to be found days later faced down in the riverside.

Fucking psychos, she thinks as she read the article and sets it down.

She moves down the hall and comes across an heavily decorated door.

Yeah, that's not a red flag at all.

But she figured that it was something that was importance to whatever spirit was putting her through this.

Taking a deep breath, she neared the door and paused, her hands hovered above the handle.

She felt something sinister was coming from the door. Sunny sighs as she paced back and forth.

"God, am I really gonna do this??" She asked herself as she tried to hype herself up too do just that. She took another deep breath and placed her hand on the knob before turning it and opened the doors.

Sunny peered inside and looked inside to see the room. It was dark, only a dim light was seen in the distance.

What the fuck????

The air feels thick, suffocating even.

She takes a step inside and hears the sound of crinkling under her feet.

More news articles.

She reaches down and read it with help from the light of the hallway, hoping to get more of an idea of where she was at.

The article continues from the first one, most of the disappearances happened around the infamous Paradiso Hotel.

Paradiso Hotel? Was that what this place is?

She continues reading the article, she notes how many of the missing girls and others were last spotted around said hotel.

How the hotel is said to be rumored to be tried to a crime syndicate.

It goes into how many more people disappeared around the hotel, some found days later but not without repercussions. Days later some of the missing victims would be spots jumping off from building or in front of trains.

She shudders.

It makes her wonder what was the connection to the hotel and the missing/found victims.

And if the hotel was tied to a crime syndicate, she doesn't want to think what went down behind closed doors.

Nothing good if she has anything to say.

She glanced around, seeing what looks to be an empty bedroom, on the way was some decorative mask on the wall.

Not creepy at all.

It looks like your typical hotel room, she was about to turn to leave when she noticed something wedge in between the mattress and bedframe.

Huh, what was that?

She moves the mattress slightly and finds a notebook.

A guest book...? Huh this might be something important if it was hidden.

But...

"Why would someone hide the guest book here?" She wonders out loud before take a quick glance through it. They were mostly comments from previous tenants. Positive mostly, and...er, slightly off putting at some lets just say that.

She flips to the last entry, noticing something scrawly written.

She squinted her eyes, carefully trying to make out the words to read them.

God whoever wrote this...

Their handwriting was atrocious.

"This is bad, S--- might have rated us out. There's rumors going on that she tattled on that teach and is going to cause a fiasco. This is bad, what should we---"

That's all she's able to make out. Everything was all marked out from over time.

Teach??? What does that mean?? Even the name that was mentioned was faded out.

Though reading from the entry, she assumed it was written by a student.

Strange though, why would a student be here unless...

She doesn't think to finish that thought, it makes her sick that it was a possibility.

One thing was clear, the last entry was confirmation of the possibility that the hotel was tied to a crime syndicate or something or the sort.

A lot of illegal things must have happened.

She figures that there might be more hidden about.

She makes a mental note to search for them, they might give more insight on what happened here or to whatever spirit (maybe spirits but she doesn't think she has the mental capacity to deal with more than one spirit) that was causing this.

Once she left the room, she stepped back into the hallway only for the already dim lights to flicker and go off.

"Oh shit..." she mutters bc well this suddenly seems familiar.

At the end of the hall, she could see a girl dressed in a red raincoat. Thing was, she was completely drenched despite being inside.

The alarm bells in her head was ringing again as she took a step back. She felt sick, as if whatever she had eaten prior was slowly creeping its way up her throat.

She hears the girl say something but it's unclear. Just hushed whispers.

The air became even more heavy with every step the girl takes. It was only when the girl was a just a bit away did she realize.

The girl was drenched in blood, not from the rain.

Sunny moves to back away when the girl suddenly grabs her arm and grips it tightly.

"Fuck," she winced at the pressure, a bruise would surely form the next day. Sunny grips the girl's wrist to pry herself free.

She still doesn't know what the girl was saying. Only shutting her eyes tight, praying to escape with her life.

And just like that, Sunny finds herself gasping as she looks to see herself back in her flat.

????? What the fuck?????

She stills and glances around slowly. She moves her arm and winced.

Rolling the sleeve up, she sees a nasty red hand print from where the spirit had gripped her.

Fucking great.

She sighs before taking a look up at the clock on her wall. Oh fuck, you're fucking kidding????

Sunny sees how much time had passed and bolts out the door to head down to the restaurant.

She only prays that he was still there.

As soon as she arrived at the restaurant, it was well close to 11, about 3 hours had past since the initial time they agreed to meet.

She quickly rushed to the front, where a hostess had greeted her.

She paused as she asked if a man with Steven's description had arrived. The hostess merely replied that she had only started around 9:30, meaning if Steven did arrived she didn't seat him.

She sighed, pressing her hands to her face. She hated this.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" The hostess asked.

Her eyes stung as she tried her best not to shed a tear, "Yeah, yeah I just..." she sighs as her shoulders fell, "I just had a date that's all..."

She felt her stomach growl, right. She hadn't even eaten yet.

Fuck it.

It didn't even bother her how the scene she saw hours prior was gruesome. She was still hungry.

"Table for one, and no need for a menu, I'll have the steak and your finest wine please..."

She sat in the corner of the restaurant, eating her steak in silence, sipping her wine every so often.

She really hated this.

TWO DAYS LATER

Since that night, she didn't dare text or called Steven, deathly afraid of how he would react.

Thankfully it was the weekend, so she didn't have to leave her flat, but it had gotten to the point where she barely leaves her room, spending her days rewatching kdramas.

It was Sunday night, she had been watching another episode of her kdramas when her phone rang.

She had been so engrossed in her drama that she didn't see the caller ID when she answered.

"Hello?" She sighs, eyes focusing on the TV.

"Sunny, love? Are we still on for tonight?" She jumped at the sound of Steven's voice.

"Steven???" Why was he calling her? She was certain he'd not want to speak to her after practically standing him up. And what does he mean still on for tonight???

"The date, you know best steak in town," he nervously laughs.

"I-er, wait, Steven where you at?" She asked, confused at what he was talking about.

"At the steakhouse, like we agreed, isn't that what we agreed on???"

What???? Is going on????

"I-wait Steven, you're not making any sense, what are you talking about?" She asked.

"Love, I'm not sure what you're saying either, today's the day of our date."

What?????

"....Steven, what day do you think it is?" She asked slowly.

"It's Friday."

Oh.

Oh Steven.

Sweet, sweet Steven...

"...Steven, sweetie, today is Sunday..." she replied carefully. She knew that sometimes Steven mixes up the dates from what he told her but never did she think it'd be like this.

"...no, it's Friday, right? Love, if this is you trying to have a laugh I don't find this funny at all," he said, almost desperate to believe that what she said wasn't true.

"No, Steven I mean it, it's Sunday."

Steven, who had been sitting at the table patiently waiting for Sunny, suddenly paused.

No, surely she was just playing a mean prank on him right?

But Sunny doesn't seem like the type to that. She was too nice to do something like that.

He noticed the waiter nearby and quickly stopped him.

"Sorry, but do you know the day?"

"It's Sunday, sir."

"....you're joking?"

Oh shit.

Steven took a deep breath as he slumped back in his seat. Did he really slept through 2 days?!

And that bloody damn dream he had...he still can't shake it off.

But what's worse was that fucking stood her up.

"...Steven?" Hearing her voice he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah, I- shit. I'm just...I'm just having a rough day, today hasn't been the best..." He sighs, "And of course I had to be the one that botched it."

"...I...you're not mad at me..."

"Mad at you? For what?" Steven furrows his brows together, "Shouldn't you be the one furious with me? I stood you up! A whole two days!"

"No, wait. I thought I stood you up!" She confessed, "I arrived almost 3 hours later, I thought you thought I stood you up, which wasn't my intention, something had caught up and I, well, you know..."

"Well you can't really top this can you now?" His voice was small, she could practically picture him with those large puppy dog eyes.

She paused, "Well...if that's the case..."

Steven shuts his eyes.

This was it.

She's never going to want to speak, or even see him again. He would rather that they would stay friends, but he doubts she'll want to even be near him after this.

"...do you want to reschedule our date?"

What???

He blinks.

"Sorry what?"

"Since we both missed the time we were supposed to meet, how about we reschedule?"

"I-you, you still want to go on a date with me?"

"I mean...do you??? I understand if don't want to but, I really do like you Steven and I really wanted to give this a try....only if you want to."

What kind of a blood question was that??? He'd be a mad man to turn her down. Especially if she was willing to give him a chance to fix this.

"What sort of flowers do you like?" He suddenly blurts out, overcome with such a sense of relief. Sunny couldn't help but laugh, taken aback.

"That didn't really answer my question, but you don't have to get me flowers," she said. Steven feels his cheeks flushed at his blunder.

"Oh bullocks, I didn't mean to say that, I, meant- I," he stumbled over his words before finally answering her, "I meant to say yes, yes of course I do!" He quickly answered, "Going out with you I mean."

Sunny let out a relieved sigh, "Okay, that's good, because I would like it if we make this work..."

Steven feels his cheeks warm up, "I, do you mind I come visit you, I had some chocolates for you since I noticed you like sweet things and the restaurant doesn't really have a good variety of dessert surprisingly."

She smiles at the thought, "Sure I'd like that, if you want we can share those chocolates and watch some shows or even a movie..."

"Yeah, I'd like that very much."

She squeals as she hung up. Very excited that he wasn't upset.

Sure there was a bit of bump in the road but nothing they couldn't fix.

She was actually grateful that he'd accepted. She paused through, realizing her room was a mess.

She quickly changed out of her pajamas and into something more casual before cleaning up as much as she could before Steven could arrive.

She makes sure to wear a long sleeve to hid the slowly healing bruise on her arm from that spirit.

She hadn't seen or heard from Izanami since that night either, but whatever, more time to relish on the peacs.

Once she was done she decided to see if she could make any snacks. Vegan based tho ofc.

As she was thinking on what to make she heard a frantic knock at her door.

She opened to see Steven looking over his shoulders. As if something had spooked him.

"Steven?" He jumps and looks back at her.

"Oh love," he smiles slightly, he still looks jittery, "Can I come in?"

"Oh, right, ofc!" She moves to the side to let him in. Steven quickly shuffles inside and shuts her door. He takes a deep breath and turns to her.

"Steven, are you alright?" She asks, noticing his pale face.

"Just aces," he nods as he tried to forget what he had saw. He's sure that his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Steven, my love, are you sure you're alright?" She asked.

"I'm fine," he says, before glancing down at the items in his arms, "I, uh, got you something."

She sees the flowers and box of chocolate, smiling, "I know, you told me remember?"

"Right," he nods, she couldn't help but grin.

"I thought I told you, you didnt have to get me flowers," she said and took them from him to set the flowers in a small vase by the counter.

"I know, I know," he said, "But I already mucked this up and I feel terribly sorry about-" he starts.

"Steven, I told you it's fine--"

"And I just saw these on the way here and thought--"

"Steven, calm down--"

"--that these would look very pretty on you..." he finishes.

Her eyes grew wide at the statement, feeling her cheeks flushed.

Oh.

Oh.

She stares at him, her thoughts processing on anything to say to him. Ultimately she ends up saying:

"So, uh, any movies you're interest in?" She started and immediately cringes.

Really????

That's the best she could come up from her pea-sized brain????

"Sorry?"

"Oh god, I didn't mean for that to come out," she bemoans and pressed her hands to cover her face, "Sorry, I was just taken aback and wasn't sure what to say to that."

"Oh, I see, well..." he started, understanding her plight. "I guess for movies, anything is good..." he said, slowly starting to calm down, he felt a bit safer now that he wasn't alone.

"How do you feel about horror movies?" She asked. Ironic of her to ask that considering what she sees on a daily basis.

"Oh...maybe not horror, love..." truthfully after what he saw on the lift he's not sure if he would enjoy them right now.

"Have you watched Jurassic Park?" She asked.

"That's the dinosaur movie right?" He asked.

"Its not just a dinosaur movie!" She gasped, offended at the comment, "It's a cinematic materspiece!"

"What about the new ones?"

"We don't talk about the new ones in this household."

He couldn't help but chuckle at the serious look on her face, "Alright, love," he said, "I suppose we can watching it, I've never really got the chance to see it before," he adds.

"Oh my God! Now we have to watching it!" She said, pulling him to the living room area, "You just get comfortable and I'll get the chocolates and some snacks, alright?" She said as she headed towards the kitchen.

Steven glanced around, noticing how there was much more space compared to his own flat.

Nice, simple and very minimalistic, not to mention homey as well. Just like her, he thinks.

He couldn't help but glance around the living room. He saw a few photos. He noticed that they were of others.

Though one that had stuck out to him was a photo of two boys and a girl near the beach, an fairly old picture by the looks of it.

He thinks they look as if they were in high school, the girl in the picture seems familar, he assumed it was Sunny when she was young.

Steven wonders who the two boys were. Relatives? Friends?

He looked away from the photos, only to see a door slightly ajar.

You know what they say? Curioustiy killed the cat.

Steven take a quick peek inside and noticed that it was a smaller room almost set up like a studio with a canvas set on an easel and a camera stand leaning against the wall behind the easel along with some photos of other landscapes taped to a board.

Wow. He took notice on the painting of what he assumed was the outside scenary of London. It wasn't done, but it was still beautiful.

"Steven?" He heard her voice as she entered the room, "Oh, I didn't know you were in here?"

"Darling, did you paint this?" He asked in awe.

"Oh, yeah it's just something I was doing in my spare time, I was thinking of scraping it though," she shrugged.

"Scrap-no! Don't do that, it's beautiful, even if it's not finished!" He protested.

"Steven it's just a simple landscape painting, it's not even that great," she says.

"But it's true, how come you've never told me about this?" He asked. She shrugs.

"I'm not sure, truthfully I haven't done any painting in a long times, I just had a few extra time to myself and did it to pass the time," she explained.

"Darling, not to sound rude, but if you could paint like this, why are you a teacher? If anything I would except you to be an art teacher then at least."

"Oh well I did double majored in photography and illustration," she remarked, "I used to work as a photographer for a palentology journal, to be honest I'm not sure how I got the job offer to teach, I'm assume it was Dane's doing," she said before taking Steven's hand and led him out the door.

"That's enough about that though, we can talk about it another time if you'd like, but how about we just relax and watch the movie, okay?" He nods, smiling slightly.

"Alright, love, although we need to have a serious talk, I can't believe I've had such a talented artist right under my nose this whole time!"

"Maybe if our second first date goes well we can plan a small painting picnic," she jests, though it seems that Steven was all for it.

"That's a lovely idea, darling. The park would be a lovely place to do just that."

She wanted to tell him that she joking but seeing the tired look on his face, she left it be.

They sat on the couch, eating the box of chocolate Steven bought, with Sunny pointing out certain facts about each dinosaur that showed on screen along with little movie tidbits.

("Did you know that the Tyrannosaurus Rex have hollow bones??? Actually all carnivorous dinosaurs did, it's to help them be fast and agile! That's why paleontologist said that birds are the closets living relatives to them!" "That's amazing, love, I didn't know that before! 😯😯😯"

"Since you're the big Jurassic buff here, how accurate did the movies get with the dinosaurs???" "Well, as accurate as they could with the time of making the film, but compared to today's new findings, I'd say only the t-rex was accurate, maybe a little less chunkier. Since dinosaurs were closely related to birds of today, a lot of them should have feathers, or maybe some peach fuzz at least."

"You know they made actually used animatronics for most of the dinosaurs back then????" "Really? I thought most of it was cgi???")

Steven found it cute. Often quipping his own questions to which she happily answered back.

Steven didn't know much about Jurassic Park or even dinosaurs in general but he did like how invested she was.

Somehow as time passed, she leaned against him, feeling comfortable in her spot as she watched the movie intently.

Steven stiffed, unsure what to do. Was he supposed to hold her??? Put his arm around her shoulder???

He didn't really think this far when he asked to come over.

His plan was to initially come over to apologize until she offer him to watching a movie with her.

What was that part-timer kid he worked with call it???

Netflix and chill????

Oh bloody hell.

God he's blushing now.

He was deep in his thoughts that he didn't realize that her head on his shoulder now.

His body seizes as he took notice and glanced down at her, still watching the movie.

Oh god, he really didn't think this through.

Does he just--???

Suddenly his arm moves on its own, wrapping one arm around her shoulders

What the fuck was that???

Oh god, Steven panics as he shifted and suddenly her head onto his chest.

Sunny's eyes wided, almost screaming internally.

She looks up at him and he's frozen, eyes staring down. He feels a sense of panic rise that he can't explain it and immediately pulls away from her.

Sunny seemed to notice his panic and sits up straight, "Steven? Are you alright?" She asked.

"I-,I'm--" he's not sure how to make of it. Today was just an absolute nightmare, "I'm sorry, today has just been absolutely mental..."

"Do you want to talk about?" She offers. That seemed to be all it take for him to start rambling. He explained about the nightmare he had when he woke, how it all felt so real. And how he was sure he felt pain, could still feel it linger when he awoke.

"I don't know how to make sense of it, I mean the Alps of all places? What would I bloody be doing in the Alps in the first place?"

"That does sound odd," she says, squinting her eyes. She thought he was going to see some relatives but it seems like Steven doesn't even remember that. Just what is going on?

"You think I'm going mental," he sighs with a dejected look.

"Steven, despite how crazy this all sounds, I do believe you," she replied, "I think you're going through something, I just don't know how to explain it..."

Deep down, she worried that he was afflicted with some encounter with the spirits based on her own past expericence.

But how does she tell him that without spooking him.

Or worse.

He thinks she's the one that's mental.

Where the hell was Izanami when she needed her???

"Darling, you don't need to lie to me to make me feel better," he mutters, "Honestly, I believe I'm going mental myself."

"Steven, no, look I'm not saying this to make you feel better, I do meant it when I say I believe you," she said, taking his hand in hers and placed one hand on his cheek so he could look at her.

When he did she gave him a small smile and pressed her lips to his forehead, "Look, we can figure this out, tell me what else happened in this nightmare?"

Steven smiles slightly, a sense of comfort from the kiss, "There were people shooting at me. I didn't even know who they were, but they seemed outright pissed with me. So I ran into this village and oh god, you should have seen it, it looked like I stumbled onto some cult."

Her brows shot up, "A cult?"

"Their leader had a cane and some tattoo scales on his forearm," He nods, recalling the events.

"Sounds like a real psycho..." she says and scrunched her nose together. If Steven wasn't going through it right now, he mention how she'd look like a cute rabbit right there.

"He does doesn't he?" Steven bemused. He continued, explaining the wild things that went down along the a voice that kept telling him to give the body to Marc.

"Body? What does that mean? And who's Marc?" She asks, just as confused as Steven.

"I wish I knew, love, honest I'd tell you if I knew," he answered. Sunny hums before noticing the time.

"It's getting late, we'll figure this out tomorrow," she said, "Maybe a good night's rest will put you more at ease," she suggested.

Steven glanced up at the clock and sighed, "Maybe," she walked him towards the door and towards his flat.

"Listen, I'm not sure what's going on, but we'll figure it out, okay," she said, "Just make sure to get some rest, today was a long day."

"I suppose so," he said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything, a normal person would call me mental for all the things I've just told you," he said.

"Well remember I was a bit odd growing up, and any person can tell that you're in distress on your own if they paid attention."

"No one really pays attention to me if you know what I mean," Steven mutters lowly.

"Well, I do," Sunny replied, "I always pay attention to you, even when it's something I don't quite understand, I can help it but listen to what you say," she paused, place her hands on his cheeks, "You just look so pretty when you talk of the things you love."

Steven stares at her, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest, he's surprised it hasn't busted out of his chest.

He wonders if this was what it meant to be in love.

Without a second thought, he leaned close to her and pressed his lips against hers.

She surprised at first, not expecting him to do the first move but she's not complaining.

When he pulled away, he looks as if stars were in his eyes.

God, he's so pretty, she thinks.

Sunny has a small smile on her face before speaking, "Good night Steven," and pecks his lips again.

"Night," he mutters clearly dazed. He blinks and he's back in his flat again. And although she told him to get some rest, he just can't. Maybe he should've listened, because nothing would prepare him for what was about to happen next.

THE NEXT DAY

Sunny wakes up to frantic knocking in her door.

What the fuck???

She groans as she walks over to her door and opens it to see Steven.

The first thing he noticed was the scared look he had and how red his eyes were.

"Steven? What's wrong?" She asked, rubbing her face with one hand.

"Darling, I'm going completely mad now," he said as he entered her flat and takes a seat on her couch.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" She asked, taking a seat next to him and placing one hand on his shoulder.

"I tried to get some rest like you said, but I just couldn't leave it, so I started messing around the flat and I found a hole in the wall hidden away."

"A hidden hole?" She repeats.

"I found an old phone in it and it started to ring suddenly," he recounts, "I answered because I thought I could get some answers but a woman answered and kept calling me Marc," he said.

"Marc like the one from your nightmare you told me last night?"

"I belive so, oh god, and here's the real kicker, I swore that my reflection had talked to me!"

"What?"

"I can't make sense of it myself, but love, please believe me when I say that it did happen, he kept telling me to stop looking right after I found the phone," Steven continued, to which Sunny continued to rub his back to soothe him.

He suddenly scoffs as he tells her the next part, "I think there's a ghost haunting me."

She jumps at this, "Ghost?!" All of a sudden, the fears she had initially had were starting to come true. If Steven was being haunted by a spirit and it was because of her, she would never forgive herself. He deserves better than this.

"Love, when I went outside to take the lift downstairs, I saw some skeletal bird man staring back at me at the end of the corridor. "

"A skeletal bird man??" Well that's the first she's heard of this.

"I was so terrified, I couldn't even think straight when Ms. Agnes hopped onto the lift, I'm certain she finds me mad now."

"Oh, Steven," she sighs, "I'm not sure what to make of all this, but we'll figure it out, I already said that didn't I?"

"I'm sorry that I'm putting you through all this, love. I just don't have anyone else to turn to," he sighs.

"Hey, don't worry about it, look I..." she paused, trying her best to say her words carefully, "I can't say it now, I will one day, but trust me when I say I've been through some crazy and unexplainable things in my life," she said, "It might not be exactly the same as what you're going through but I can relate a bit."

Steven paused glancing back at her, he can't help but wonder what happened, but he doesn't push.

She had been patient with him through all this maddness, the least he could do is respect her wishes and wait patiently for her to tell him.

But even so, his heart was so full hearing her support him even though he's sure he's going mad.

How had he even end up to be so lucky to meet her.

"Can I kiss you?" he suddenly asked.

Oh god.

Did he really just said that.

Steven wants to slap himself.

He just had to say the first thing that came to mind, huh?!

An absolute knob he is.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask that!" He starts, rambling all of a sudden. She couldn't help but smile.

Sunny grins and leans in to kiss his lips, "You're lucky you're so cute," she said, "Although we should get ready for work, I'm pretty sure we'll miss the earliest bus if we don't."

Steven's mind goes blank from the kiss but he nods mutely, "Yeah, yeah, ok,' he said.

Sunny walks him out to the door and pushes him back towards his flat, "Come on, I'll walk you to work this time," she said.

"But what about you--?"

"Don't worry your pretty brilliant head of yours, I'll have Dane cover for me for today," she answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Steven, I'm sure," she said, "Meet me downstairs and we can talk more about what's going on on the way to the museum."

Once done changing, she met him downstairs and headed towards the bus.

Steven seemed sleep deprived due to stressing over last night so she suggested he take a small nap.

He was apprehensive at first, but she assured him that she would wake him up when they arrived.

Steven sighed and rested his eyes, taking the rest he needed.

While he did that, Sunny decided to try to reach out towards Izanami.

"Izanami? Are you there????" More silence. This bitch.

Sunny huffed as she tried to make sense of what Steven had told her.

It was odd, it sounded similar to those out of body experiences she's had in the past, but also not really.

Just something about it didn't add up.

She think back on what had happened that led up to this.

Then she remembered the night he patched her up, she realized he never asked if she was okay

Actually, it seemed like he didn't even remember it.

Also why was he acting different at the time???

It like as if he was a completely different person just like the night he had asked her out--

Before she could finish that thought, Steven jumped, letting out a startled shout.

"Steven, Steven, it's okay," she said, placing her hands on his shoulders, "It's okay, you're alright, I'm right here."

He panted slight as he glanced at her then out towards the window where he saw said skeletal bird man from his nightmares as the bus passed by.

Oh great, he thinks bitterly.

"Steven, what's wrong?" She asked again, growing more and more concerned. Steven gave her a quick glance before swallowing thickly.

"Nothing, I'm aces, love. Just seeing the skeletal pigeon man is really making my morning," he said, giving her a wry smile. Her brows shot up. He saw it?? When??

"Steven are you sure? If you want we can turn back and just spend the day at home--"

"No, no," Steven dismissed, "I'll be alright, look our stop is here," He said, standing up from his seat and took her hand.

They got off the bus, hand in hand.

Neither realized it as Steven glanced across the street.

"Oh lovely, there he is," he mutters. She turned to she were he was looking at and saw....

Oh what the hell???

She feels like it's a blur, something was definitely there where he was looking at, but she didn't know what.

"The bird man skeleton?" She asked.

"The bird man skeleton," he confirms.

"He's not threatening you, is he?" She couldn't help but ask.

"You mean other than giving me a heart attack or nightmares for day? No."

She lets a relieved sigh.

That's good.

But before she could say anything else, she feel Steven tense beside her.

"Oh bullocks," he suddenly turned, pulling her along to do the same.

"What? What's wrong--"

"Its him!" He hastily whispers, making quick glances over his shoulder, "The cult leader from the Alps."

Sunny was about to glance over to see him and Steven stopped her, "No, don't!" He said, holding her by the shoulders. He quickly pulled her into the museum, where they hid behind the glass doors and stared out.

Sunny saw an older man with grayish long hair. Man just screams, deluded for sure.

"He probably remembered when I worked because I told him!" Steven panics, "Stupid, why did I bloody do that?!"

"Steven, take a deep breath and count to ten, look we'll talk to the security guards to not let him in, alright?"

"Yeah," he nodded still feeling anxious, "Yeah, okay," he breathed out.

"Good," she said as she dragged him to where they saw one of the security guard on his phone.

"Hey, J.B. mate, how's it going?" Steven said, gaining the guard's attention.

The guard glanced up and noticed the two, "Oh, how's it going, Scotty?"

"It's Steven," the two said. He looks back between the two. Sunny rolls her eyes as Steven continued, looking over his shoulders.

"You watching otter videos again?"

"Oh they're adorable."

"Uh, yeah. Cool, cool, cool, listen mate, I need ya to keep an eye out, 'cause I'm being followed."

"You're joking?"

"Look there's some delusion old man and he's been trailing after Steven like a stalker, can you do that or not?" Sunny asked, taking over now.

"It's a muesum, can't keep people out," he shrugged.

Sunng clicks her tongue as she turns away, "Ugh, useless," she mutters, while Steven tried to convice J.B. to keep the old man from coming in.

"Listen, just don't let anyone dodgey alright?" Stven sighed as he moved away from the desk and went to her side, "I'm so sorry about this, love..."

"Steven, don't worry, look let's just--"

"Stevie! There you are," they turned to see an angry Donna holding something in her arms. Sunny cursed, of fucking course. Great fucking timing.

"You're late, don't just blood stand there making puppies eyes at each, get to work!"

"Hey, do you mind? We're in a middle of an important discussion," Sunny huffed.

"I don't bloody care, he needs to get to work if he want to continue to keep his job!"

"Alright, listen here you viper of am ommpa loompa--"

"The man from the bus," Steven gasped. Sunny turned to see the man from before now in the museum. She narrowed her eyes at him as Donna berated Steven.

"Steven," Sunny started, "Just head to work alright?" She said, giving him a quick hug and leaned close into his ear, "I'll stick around, okay, I don't want anything to happen to you if I'm gone."

Steven relaxed a bit hearing this, if that man was following him then at least he'd have Sunny here with him, "Alright, love," he said, "I'll text you."

Sunny smiled as she pulled away and pointed towards the art gallery the museum had, noting to him that's where she'll be.

When she left him, she noticing a certain goddess standing near the artwork, "This bitch," she mutters to herself.

The goddess had her arms crossed as she stared at Sunny and tilted her head to follow her as she walked off to the side.

She glanced around seeing that nobody had taken notice of the goddess.

Of course.

With that, she quickly make haste to where Izanami had walked off.

When saw the goddess, she stood in place with her arms behind her back, staring at painting.

"What the hell?! You sure have some great timing for a god!" Sunny snapped, "Where were you for the past 3 days?!"

"Oh, calm down, I was merely giving you space after you date," the goddess replied.

"Which didn't happen by the way, thanks for asking," Sunny huffed.

"Oh, yes. That I know," Izanami agrees, "But enough about that, I sense a terrible foreboding is about come and it's coming from that man that is stalking your boy toy."

"Yeah I kinda got that when Steven told me the guy is a cult leader," she sighed out, "And I thought I told you to stop calling him that!"

"You did, but I didn't listen," Izanami shrugged before continuing, "Regardless, it's best to have caution should you encounter that man, I can't be sure what it is he wants or plans to do, but I sense it'll cause an imbalance between the living and dead," Sunny paused, seeing look Izanami had. She's never seen the goddess look so befuddled before, "He's dangerous. Something evil lurks within him. And i don't like that I don't know what it is."

Sunny was about to reply when Izanami paused, her brows furrowed together before she turned to her, "You need to go, I sense your little boy toy is in great distress now and that man is somewhere nearby."

"What??!!"

Hearing this, Sunny didn't waste time as she quickly went to find Steven.

Please be okay, please be okay, she prays to herself.

When she finally finds Steven, the man is with him.

He had Steven cornered by some hieroglyphics mural and was trying to talk to him.

She frowned seeing Steven visibly uncomfortable in his place.

He looked as if he was going to pass out.

Sunny took a deep breath, getting her acting game together before calling out to Steven.

"Steven, darling, there you are!" She said, rushing towards him and grasped his arm, "Oh, I've been looking all over for you! You promise me that you'd help me out with my dissertation on the history of Egyptian mummification process and their rituals."

Her disser-what now???

Why would she need his help when she's a teacher herself.

Steven seemed loss for a second before he finally sees the look she's giving him.

Oh.

Oh!

"O-oh, yes, r-right," He said, nodding his head, "I'm sorry, love, I must have lost track of the time..."

"That's alright," she said and purposely put herself between the man and Steven and creates some distance between them, "So terribly sorry to cut whatever this is short, but I really do need his help."

"My, I didn't realize he had a friend," the older man said, a smile on his face that makes her want to punch him, "I am Arthur Harrow, what is yours?"

"Jane Doe," She replied, narrowing her eyes at Harrow. As if she'll give him her name, fucking creep.

Harrow chuckles, "I see, its good to be cautious, but are you aware of who the man beside you really is?" Harrow asked, "Tell me Steven Grant of the gift shop, does she know the truth?"

Yeah she really want to punch him now. Bastard.

"W-what truth?" Steven asked, just as confused.

"I wonder, do either of you know of Ammit?"

"Do I know of Ammit? Not exactly..." Steven said quickly as he held Sunny's hand and backed away slowly with her, "Egyptian deity, right?? World's first boogeyman?? She punished those who were evil and ate their hearts."

Dammit Steven, now is not the time to flex your Egyptian encyclopedia, Sunny thinks.

"Sounds delightful..." Sunny supplies, crinkling her nose in disgust.

"She grows wary of waiting for sinners to commit their crimes before punishing them," Harrow said, taking a few steps toward the two, "I ask you this, would you wait to weed a garden till after all of the roses were dead?"

"I-I wouldn't do that..." Steven shrugged.

"Seriously?" She hissed at him as she elbowed Steven in the side.

"The justice of Ammit, suverys the whole of our lives," Harrow continued.

"Got it..." Steven whimpers. "Sounds exhausting..." Sunny mutters.

"She knows what we've done and what we will do."

"Yeah, well books left that part out..." Steven remarks a bit cheekily.

"Had Ammit been free, she would have been able to prevent Hitler; the destruction he wrought. Nero, the Armenian genocide, Pol Pot."

"Not nice people."

"Steven!" She shushes him as she glanced back at the man.

"None of it would had happened if Ammit was here, but she was betrayed."

"Was she now?" Steven.

"By fellow insolent gods, even by her own avatar."

"Hm, sounds like they had a good reason if you ask me..." Sunny.

"'Avatars.' Blue people. Love that film," Steven quipped.

Sunny paused before frowning slightly, "Steven, we really need to update your movie repertoire. That movie is just a bad rendition of Pocahontas in space..."

"Ha ha, can't take this one anywhere, yeah?" Steven tried to joke, trying to cope with his rising anxiety and stress.

"No, by avatar I mean--"

"You mean like the TV show?" Sunny suggested this time, "Great show, love it."

"Stop it," Harrow says, unimpressed by the two's constant adlibs. The two immediate shut their mouths. "Steven, give me the scarab."

"I don't have it, mate. Honestly," Steven answered.

"Steven, I won't ask again--" Harrow said, grabbing Steven's arm.

"Back off," Sunny snapped, wedging herself between the two, "Listen whatever this stupid scarab is, he doesn't have it. So scram before I dislocated your jaw, old man."

"I saw this man take the scarab with my own eyes."

"Then I'd say you need to get 'em check out," She remarked.

"It must be nice to have some blindly defend you," Harrow notes, "I wonder how Ammit will react upon finding out you're defending a thief. Perhaps we should find out."

Harrow reaches out to take Sunny's hand when Steven shouted, "No, I saw what you did to that poor woman in the Alps!" He said and pushed her behind him.

Harrow seemed mildly surprised at Steven's sudden shift in behavior before glancing his eyes between the two, "I'm only telling her what many others will know soon enough."

"If you want to judge someone, judge me," Steven said making her snap her eyes at him.

"Steven!" She hissed, worried about what would come next. Harrow took Steven hand, to which she saw the scales tattoos on his forearm, exactly how Steven described it when he first saw it, and watched how they moved against his skin.

If this wasn't some absolute deluded wackjob she was dealing with, she'd find this pretty sick really.

"Oh hell..." she mutters before hearing Harrow speak, almost astounded by what he saw.

"There is chaos in you."

"Okay, okay, that's enough!" Sunny snaps, "Neat party trick there but we have things to do and places to be--"

Just as she pulled Steven away from Harrow and tried to lead the two out the doors, when he grabbed her arm. She winced as it was the one with the bruise. Harrow paused as the scale tattoo stayed still in place, no once moving like it did with Steven.

"How strange, this is the first this has happened," Harrow mutters, while Steven looks in horror, "It seems like Ammit can not judge you."

"Lucky me, I guess," Sunny mutters as she rips her arm back from Harrow and steps back with Steven behind her.

"I can't help but be curious now, why is it that Ammit can't judge your scales? Its truly a sight..." Sunny remains quiet before glancing off to the side to see Izanami.

The goddess' eyes narrowed at the scene before them, ready to intervene if needed. Maybe that's why, she thinks.

"Not sure," Sunny shrugs,"You know human error exists, why not godly error?" She jests, "We should be leaving now," she immediately pushes Steven towards th exit as more patreon filled towards where they were at.

One finally away, Sunny glanced behind and lets out a small sigh.

"Okay, I think we're in the clear now," she mutters.

"He wants the scarab," Steven mutters, "I don't think he'll leave us alone without it..." he pauses, "Love what was that?"

"What was what?" She asked.

"The scales...something should have happened but it didn't," he explained, "When he judged that woman in the Alps, her scales weren't balanced and she died. But nothing happened to you, why?"

"A story for another time," she said, continuing to glance over her shoulders, "Listen, Steven this goes under something under things I can't explain without freaking you out, you just got to trust me, alright?"

"Of course I trust you just..." He paused, "Are you some sort of undercover spy????" He asked.

Undercover what????

She looks at him confused.

Of all the things he could come up from what she said.

That's what he comes up with.

I mean, she really shouldn't be surprised at him....

He's lucky he's cute and she's absolutely taken by him.

"What? No! I'm not an undercover spy," she reassured him, "Just...in a bit of a weird situation, alright."

"Alright..." he concedes, "Just...you'd tell me if you were in trouble, yeah?"

"Oh, Steven, of course I would," she said. Steven feels a sense of relief hearing that. Something deep down inside of him would just die if he'd let anything happen to her.

"Ok, alright. Good," he said. She smiles and leans in to kiss his cheeks. His cheeks were a bright pink hue at the intimacy.

"I should let you get back to work now," She said and pulled away. He was about to protest when she stopped him, "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be at the local cafe just down the street. If Harrow tries to pull a fast one and corner you again, call me and I'll make sure to break his nose."

"Got it," he nods. He shouldn't admit that hearing that she would break a crazy old cult leader's nose made him swoon a bit, but it did (he'd lowkey paid to see it happen).

"Good."

"Though, are you sure you'll be alright waiting? Donna was peeved with me and forced me to stay back late tonight."

She rolled her eyes, "Of course she did," she muttered, "Although, I think a part of that was my fault. Sorry."

"Don't say that, love. Knowing Donna, she would've found an excuse to have me stay back anyways..."

"Maybe, but don't worry about me," she said, "I'll come pick you up with some dinner and we can figure out whatever this scarab thing is at home, does that sound good?"

"Yeah, that's aces," he says.

"Alright, I'll come back with some Thai food from down the street, stay safe and if Donna starts again, I'll personally give her a peace of my mind."

With that said she left, although she feels her shoulders become heavy. Just what the hell was Steven going through? She couldn't make sense of it, but that doesn't mean she won't stop trying.

This was gonna be a long day....

[mackenzielovee]

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@mackenzielovee

@goldenjo

@r0und3bitch

@lovedetlost

I tagged 4,079 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#ask! - 3,291 posts

#anon - 2,152 posts

#ambivalence hcs - 1,337 posts

#&lt;3 - 525 posts

#ss&lt;3 - 219 posts

#xoxo - 110 posts

#rafe cameron - 99 posts

#rafe fic - 99 posts

#rafe obx - 99 posts

#rafe cameron imagine - 99 posts

Longest Tag: 92 characters

#pls help me the creative juices arent flowing but i can't move forward until this is written

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ambivalence epilogue: falling - rafe cameron

a/n: omg wish i could tell you how nervous i am about this shit lmao i really hope you guys like this , pls leave me a comment as always and let me know what you think! sorry its so long oops

Summary: Rafe Cameron gets everything he's ever wanted in twenty short minutes.

Warnings: swearing, underage drinking, mentions of blood, mentions of a car accident, many poorly researched little things that i won't put here bc spoilers

Word Count: 9.3k

series masterlist

my writing

"Rafe?"

You yell out for him the second you enter the foyer of Tannyhill, shopping bags in one hand and keys in the other. He'd given you a key months ago, under the pretense of watering the plants in the kitchen during the days that everyone is at work. Rose had raised an eyebrow at him and Ward had rolled his eyes, but they didn't protest. They love you too much.

"Y/N?"

Rose steps out of the kitchen and into the hall, smiling when she sees you.

"Hey, Rose," you smile, walking toward her.

"Hey, girl. Come on in. He's out back, he said he'll be in soon."

You follow her into the kitchen and set your shopping bags down on the counter, placing your hands on your hips and giving her a look.

"His project, again?" you question.

"Oh, yeah. Ward and I have been officially banned from the entire backyard."

You laugh, "At least you know what he's doing. He won't tell me."

Rose smirks, then raises her hand to her mouth and acts like she's locking it up. You take a deep breath and shake your head, failing miserably at persuading intel from her.

"Sorry, honey. Swore me to secrecy," she smiles sadly.

"It's okay, I get it," you sigh.

She chuckles at your dramatics, then steps to the fridge and pulls out a drink for you and one for herself. After ten months of being with Rafe, you still can't get over how he keeps the fridge stocked with your favorite things, even though you've told him a million times that it's unnecessary.

"So, what's in the bags?" she asks.

"Midsummers prep," you take a deep breath, reaching for one of the bags, "I picked up the necklace Mom ordered for me, and I had to get Scott a tie bar. Oh, and look at what I got for Rafe."

You reach into the bag and pull out a box, handing it to Rose. Her eyes widen when she opens it, glancing up at you with a sappy expression.

"Y/N, these are beautiful. Does he know that you got these made for him?"

You shake your head, "It's a surprise. He hates the cufflinks he has now."

"He's going to love them," she gushes, "You should see the way he's freaking out over his tie. It hasn't arrived yet, and I think he's about to go into cardiac arrest."

"It's over a week away," you laugh.

"Try telling him that."

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859 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#4

parenthood: an ambivalence continuation

okay i'm probably more excited than i should be :) i decided to make this into a whole series (thank you to those who recommended/agreed) and i'm so excited because i don't have to let go of these two (three) yet! i hope you enjoy this, i know i will <3

be sure to read ambivalence for background + all of the post-epilogue blurbs to catch up if you haven't already!

part one: fully invested

part two: playing defense

part three: it's a...

part four: resilience

part five: unconditional

part six: new beginnings

part seven: ingenuous

part eight: resolution

part nine: growth

part ten: bliss

part eleven: inclination

part twelve: lucky

part thirteen: invidious

part fourteen: rectify

part fifteen: real life

part sixteen: dissension

part seventeen: complications

part eighteen: a balancing act

part nineteen: rivals

part twenty: intemperance

part twenty one: muddy waters

Blurbs

cotton candy mouth

a wife’s intuition

thanksgiving day

Mini Drabbles

connor clinging to y/n and wanting rafe to leave

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1,011 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

#3

tutoring — rafe cameron

a/n: this is the filthiest thing i have ever written. all thanks to my girls @r0und3bitch and @lovedetlost , i love and adore both of you , thanks for being you !

warnings: all of them. im serious. SMUT (PinV sex, dirty talk, daddy kink, manipulation of reader, degrading language, dom/sub dynamics)

     It was supposed to be an innocent night. You’d told Rafe to come over to help you study for your finals, given that he’s a math whiz and you aren’t. He’d entered your apartment with textbooks and a pencil behind his ear, but the smirk is what gets you. 

He’d helped you with four problems before, somehow, you found yourself perched in his lap, your dress bunched at your hips by his large hands. Your clothed core grinds against his as you cup his cheek, kissing him like it’s your last time. 

You break the kiss and moan against his lips, rutting your hips into his faster. He combines the fistfuls of fabric into one hand, then uses his free one to palm your ass as he guides you. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles, “You’re supposed to be studying, baby. Tucking that pretty lip between your teeth while I tell you you’re doing a good job. You like when I tell you you’re doing a good job?”

“Mhm,” you whine, “I like—I want—”

Rafe’s cruel, low laugh brings a tint to your cheeks, the kind that makes you feel embarrassed. He notices as you slow your movements, leading him to rut his hips up into you. When you let out a loud, uncontrolled moan, he smirks. 

“No wonder you needed my help,” he teases you, “Just a dumb little girl, huh? Don’t worry, sweetheart. Daddy’s gonna take care of you.”

He kisses you again before you can say another word, seemingly doing his best to try and swallow you whole with the aggressive way he takes your mouth. You’re too lost in his kiss to notice his fingers loop through your underwear and yank it off, dropping the soaked fabric onto the couch beside him. 

“Daddy,” you plead, sitting back on his knees as you take in his swollen lips. 

“Don’t worry, baby,” he repeats, “I’m gonna take real good care of you. You see, good girls don’t make their daddies wait. Good girls also do their studying before playtime. Now, I know you worked that pretty little brain extra hard on our math problems, so that counts. But you’re not gonna make Daddy wait, are you?”

You bite down on your bottom lip as you shake your head, your eyes wide and pouty as you lean forward. 

“No, Daddy, m’sorry,” you mumble. 

He brings you in for another kiss, “Don’t be sorry, honey. Come here.”

You sit up on your knees again and let him guide your hands down to his belt buckle, where he nods for you to undo it. He sits up just enough for you to pull him out, eyes widening slightly at the length and the girth of him. You swallow and shake your head after a second, knowing you can’t make him wait any longer. 

“Spit on it,” he demands, “Don’t make me ask again.”

You nod, “Yes, sir.”

You lean forward and let your spit fall from between your lips, watching how it floods Rafe’s already leaking tip. Slowly, Rafe guides your hand over him, helping you rub your spit down his shaft. 

“That’s it,” he grins, “Good fucking girl. Get me all ready for you.”

“More?” you ask him, looking down at his wet, hard cock.

“Yeah, baby, more,” he nods, brushing hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear. 

You spit on him again, rubbing it up and down with both hands this time instead of one. Rafe throws his head back on the couch cushion as you stroke him, drawing even more precum from his tip. 

“Fuck,” he moans, “That’s so good. Take your dress off, come on.”

You do as told, removing your hands only for a moment to pull your dress over your head. He grins as you do exactly what you’re told, nodding his head slightly in approval. You bask in the slight nod of praise, wanting more from him. Your hands return to his cock and he grunts when you squeeze him, twisting your wrist and watching his face contort as you do.

“Shit,” he grunts, “You wet for me, baby? You think Daddy can just slide right in? Or do I have to work you open? Make you take me?”

You shake your head slowly, knowing that he knows how wet you are purely by the way you’re leaking on his jeans. 

“I can take it, Daddy,” you whimper.

He smiles, “Gorgeous, filthy thing. C’mere. You talk a big game for such a little girl.”

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1,017 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

#2

a series of attempts — bucky barnes

Bucky comes to you with everything — everything but his true feelings. He likes his sweet, little, innocent girl. Until you choose not to play the game anymore.

warnings: swearing, manipulation on bucky's part, kissing, smut (at the end, you'll see it coming — dry humping, kissing allusion to more)

     You’d never pegged yourself as one of those people who went to bed early. You’d never been too particular about it at all — you went to sleep when you wanted and that’s that. Although you had your share of late nights, getting older and settling into a steady job brought out the most adult-like tendencies in you. 

Which is why you find yourself ready to assault whoever is on the other side of your front door, brutally pounding on it and then switching to the doorbell when that attempt deems unsuccessful. 

“What the — Buck,” you groan, letting your face fall into your hands, “Seriously?”

He smirks, “Hi, sweetheart.”

Even at three o’clock in the morning, you feel your heart soar at his raspy, tired voice. When you look up at him again, you take in his appearance. He’s been beaten up pretty bad, but the blood dripping from his knuckles tells you that the other guy looks worse. Of course he does. Bucky doesn’t play around. 

“What happened to you?” 

He laughs now, stepping closer to the threshold of your home, as if he expects you to step out of his way so he can enter. Instinctually, you do, naturally letting go of every feminine instinct you possess when he’s within ten feet of you. 

“Comes with the job. You should know that by now. Clean me up?”

“Uh — yeah. Come in,” you reply, stepping aside so he can enter. 

He smirks as he passes you, taking in your little outfit with no subtlety whatsoever. His eyes wander down the front of your tank top and once he’s past you, he tosses his head over his shoulder to check out your legs in your sleep shorts. You swallow down your objection, feeling the need to please him, especially in his state, and follow him into the kitchen. 

“Well?” he turns to you, looking handsome as ever in his bloodstained button-up. 

You freeze, “Well, what?”

When he chuckles, you feel yourself shrink. Bucky’s always had a way of making you feel small, but not necessarily in a bad way. You almost feel as if your brain shuts down when he’s around, like you automatically know that he’ll do all the thinking for you. That he’s there, so you’re safe. Provided for. If only you were spoken for. 

“You’re playing nurse, baby. Tell me where you want me.”

He watches your throat constrict, but says nothing. Instead, he just allows the smirk to grow on his lips. 

“Hop up on the counter,” you say, your voice hoarse, “Let me get my kit.”

He watches as you hurry off to collect your first aid kit from your bathroom. You grab it from under the sink, then take a quick glance in the mirror. It’s fine. It’s Bucky. Just relax. 

But it’s impossible for you to relax around Bucky. He’s been dangling himself in front of you for the better part of two years; teasing you and haunting your dreams all while you refrained from confessing just how much you love him. 

You’d given up on anything happening between the two of you when he hooked up with your best friend at your birthday party last year. To make matters worse, you’d been the one to catch them — in your home, no less, but thankfully not your bed — and you’d cried for days. Not that Bucky knew that. He knew you were pissed, sure, but he didn’t know why. And the why is the most important part of it all. 

You stop when you pick up your lip gloss tube, then toss it back down on the counter. Yes, Bucky checks you out from time to time, but he always has. You just assumed that based on his lack of attempting anything, he didn’t find you appealing enough. That thought alone could make you tear up. 

You hurry away from the mirror and back to the kitchen, freezing in the doorway when you take in the sight in front of you. Bucky’s button-up rests folded up in his lap, leaving his perfectly carved, tan chest on display. That smirk spreads across his lips again, and sometimes you swear you could just smack it right off. 

“Sorry—” you blurt, “I couldn’t find the kit.”

“Here I was thinking you were getting all prettied up for me,” he teases. 

You let out a weak and unconvincing laugh as you open up the kit beside him, removing the materials you need. 

“It’s three in the morning,” you remind him, “You get what you get when you show up at this hour.”

He laughs like he can’t help himself, then turns to you, so close you can feel his breath, “I always like what I get, no matter what time it is.”

You recoil when the scent of alcohol hits your nose, and you realize all too quickly what it means. 

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1,578 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

loveless — bucky barnes

synopsis: hating Bucky Barnes is easy. Sleeping with him and keeping the feelings away proves to be much more difficult.

warnings: swearing, slight mention of anxiety symptoms, SMUT (oral: f&m receiving, PinV sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, slight orgasm denial, degrading language (not to reader), kissing)

     His eyes are darker than usual today. 

That’s the first thing you notice as you sit across the table from him, glaring at him with a clenched jaw. He’s glaring right back, neither of you trying to pay attention to your boss as he goes through the quarterly figures. 

“Got it, Barnes?” Tony’s voice brings both of you out of your hateful gaze. 

You watch as Bucky clears his throat and looks over, nodding his head, “Yeah. Got it, boss.”

“I’m sure you do. You looked very engaged,” Tony mutters sarcastically. 

Bucky laughs at that, “Oh, I was. In fact, Y/N’s got some ideas to increase sales this quarter. She was telling me about them last night—”

“When I was working late,” you cut in, not wanting to give the wrong impression, despite knowing Bucky’s actively trying to make you look bad, “Bucky came into my office to drop off the expense reports, and—”

“And, we got to talking,” Bucky takes over, “Tell him your great ideas, Y/N. I especially like the strip poker idea. For charity, of course.”

“That’s enough,” Tony glares at Bucky, “Y/N, any real suggestions?”

You swear your blood stops in your veins, because no, you didn’t have any real suggestions. In fact, part of this job makes you feel like you’re drowning, and the ability to think outside the box is far out of your reach when you can barely think inside of it. 

“Um,” you stutter, listening to Bucky chuckle victoriously across from you, “Sir, I—”

“No, then. Great. Let’s move on. Rogers, how are things on your end?”

Your eyes close under the embarrassment and you're sure you look about as incompetent as anyone can get. After a moment, you look over to Steve, who’s preparing to speak. He gives you a compassionate smile, which you return. He’s always been nice to you. Your first day on the job, he walked you all the way to Tony’s office. He brings you coffee from the breakroom frequently, and he always backs you up in meetings when he can tell you’re nervous. Your favorite part about it all is that he doesn’t have to do any of it. 

Bucky rudely clears his throat, earning your attention back. You narrow your eyes, trying your best to show your annoyance in one glance. He just smirks and raises his elbow up on the arm rest, waving his metal fingers at you. 

     Once the meeting clears, you take your time collecting your things. Bucky escapes without a second thought while Steve hangs around, giving you a gentle and reassuring smile when you stand from your chair. 

“Strip poker, huh?” he teases. 

You roll your eyes, “I never suggested that.”

Steve laughs easily, leading you out of the conference room. He holds his arm out, allowing you to walk through first, and the blush that rises to your cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed, you’re sure. 

“I know you didn’t. Bucky’s brain is… unique.”

He watches you smile as he walks by your side down the hall, where you spy Bucky himself, leaning against the wall and flirting with Tony’s intern. Your eyes roll once again as he leans in closer, grinning like a fool as she smiles up at him with hopeful eyes. You’re sure he’s loving it. 

“It sure is,” you mutter, “How’s Sam?”

“He’s good, you know, he’s spending some time with his sister and nephews…”

Steve’s voice trails off in your head as you pass by Bucky and his beloved intern. You catch his eye as you pass, glaring at him. He smirks, his eyes shamelessly checking you out even while he’s in the middle of flirting with another woman. 

“Excuse me, sweetie,” Bucky mumbles, pushing himself off the wall and following behind you. With a smirk, you start swaying your hips a little bit as you walk just to fuck with him. You hear a groan from behind you, which widens your smirk greatly. “What are you two gossiping about up there?”

Steve sighs, “Do you have to be a dick every second of your life?”

“Makes things more interesting,” Bucky shrugs, “Hey, great idea in the meeting today, Y/N. I really enjoyed that panicked look on your face at the idea of disappointing Tony.”

Before you can muster up a response, Steve stops and turns around, setting his wide palm on Bucky’s chest. 

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1,865 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[zyafics-recs]

reblogging comment review from @zyafics

i said i was gonna read when u edited and now u given me the signal 🫡 let's see if i'm ready to let go of pretty maybank and rafe <😭3 ⬇️

Some gave you that look—you know, the one that said, “Oh, sweetie, you again?”—while others just shook their heads, probably wondering when you would finally stop playing caretaker and start looking out for yourself.

maniacally scribbling down this sentence into my notes bc i am in love with how it flows?? i have a writer-crush on u bc of the way u string together words so elegantly

Brand new driver’s license, barely knew how to parallel park, and boom, you’re getting woken up at like 2 a.m. because your dad’s been arrested.

don't even know if im gonna to even talk about the story atp but one of my FAVORITE things about ur writing is how u add these little specific details that makes the characters come alive !!!

It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him wasted or bruised up, but this time felt different. This time, it hit you that this was gonna be your life now.

why did this line hit me so deep???

Now, sitting in the small, stuffy waiting room of the sheriff’s department, you glance around, feeling a knot of tension tightening in your stomach, the fluorescent lights doing little to help, making everything appear sterile and unforgiving.

love the word fluorescent lights, could never learn how to spell it without google

JJ’s next to you, his leg bouncing like he’s got caffeine running through his veins instead of blood. You’re already annoyed, and it doesn’t help that Rafe is sitting on your other side, looking just as pissed off.

THIS IS MAKING ME GIGGLE SO BADLY THE DYNAMIC TRIO

"You wanna talk about sisters too?"

the way i went—

JJ nods, fiddling with his shark tooth necklace, the one you’d given him when he was seven.

u mesh so well with canon events 🩷🙂‍↕️

You glance at the two men beside you, each representing a different part of your world. Your brother stubs out his cigarette, glancing over at Rafe with an exaggerated sigh. He smirks, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

thought this man was gonna be nice and offer rafe a cigarette but i guess wer're not there yet

It’s been a month since the nightmare with your dad, and you’ve pretty much been living at Rafe’s new place ever since. Sure, you’ve got your own house, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Rafe’s apartment though? It’s like your little safe haven now. You don’t officially live there, but who are you kidding? Most of your stuff is in his drawers, he’s stocked the bathroom with all your skincare, hair stuff, even a toothbrush. He tried to go all-out, buying you everything, and you kept telling him to stop, but it’s like talking to a wall. You gave up eventually.

so bf of him

“Anyways,” He rolls his eyes, ignoring the way you tried to cut him off, his hand now lightly squeezing your knee, “You were out there showing off, catching wave after wave. I was so fucking annoyed."

why is this so funny LOLL

“You know, it’s funny. Back then, I thought you were just this arrogant piece of shit who was always trying too hard to fit in.”“That’s so sweet.”

im literally gonna miss them sm 😭

Ward’s expression turns cold once more, but there’s a flicker of something—maybe regret, maybe just a reflection of his anger.

FEARRRR

“Let’s go home." You nod, a smile spreading across your face. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

such a cute ending <3

FINAL THOUGHTS • i literally am going to miss them so much, it was such an adventure to read this series (and despite how late it is), and with the new edits, i can just see how much you grown as a writer. it's glorious and im so happy to have been there for the ride! can't wait to read more of ur things and also, how the fuck do u write so fast? i blink and there's 15304 different rafe fics out by you??

THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - seven (finale)

request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛" + "def some little smut during the enemies part and a long story"

word count: 6.3k

warnings: last chapter <3

You’ve been to Kildare County Sheriff’s Department way more times than you care to admit

Being the oldest kid in your family—and somehow the only actual adult—you lost count of how many times you had to drag your dad out of jail between the ages of sixteen and twenty. It felt like a full-time job.

Then there were the countless times you’d been there for your friends. 

JJ, for instance, had been taken in more than once for public disturbances. It was almost a given that he'd end up in that shithole whenever there was a party or some kind of trouble brewing. You knew every officer by name, and they knew you too. Some gave you that look—you know, the one that said, “Oh, sweetie, you again?”—while others just shook their heads, probably wondering when you would finally stop playing caretaker and start looking out for yourself.

But you always showed up, no matter what, because that’s what you did. You took care of your own.

The first time you had to pick up your dad, you were sixteen. Brand new driver’s license, barely knew how to parallel park, and boom, you’re getting woken up at like 2 a.m. because your dad’s been arrested. You were shaking the whole time, gripping the steering wheel like your life depended on it, eyes blurry with tears. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him wasted or bruised up, but this time felt different. This time, it hit you that this was gonna be your life now.

You were stuck.

You remember pulling up to the station, parking all kinds of crooked because your hands wouldn’t stop trembling. You ran inside, still half-asleep, and the officer at the desk gave you this sad little smile. “He’s in the back,” he said, like you didn’t already know.

When you saw your dad slumped over, bruised, and barely awake, something inside you just... cracked. He looked up, and for a second, he recognized you. “Hey, kiddo,” he mumbled, still drunk, still out of it. Back then, there was still some part of him left, some shred of the man he used to be.

You signed the papers, helped him stumble to the car, and drove home in silence while he passed out in the passenger seat. It was the first of so many nights like that. And you knew it wasn’t gonna be the last. When you finally pulled into the driveway, you helped him inside and onto the couch. He mumbled a thank you before passing out, his snores filling the room.

Now, sitting in the small, stuffy waiting room of the sheriff’s department, you glance around, feeling a knot of tension tightening in your stomach, the fluorescent lights doing little to help, making everything appear sterile and unforgiving.

You wish you could be anywhere but here.

JJ’s next to you, his leg bouncing like he’s got caffeine running through his veins instead of blood. You’re already annoyed, and it doesn’t help that Rafe is sitting on your other side, looking just as pissed off.

“Will you stop bouncing your leg JJ?” You grit out, already irritated from waiting longer than an hour.

“Why the fuck did he have to come?” JJ mutters, throwing daggers at Rafe with his eyes.

“JJ, not now.” You put your hand on his arm, trying to keep him from starting something. The last thing you need is another fight.

JJ glares, but his jaw clenches shut. “This is so messed up,” he grumbles.

“Messed up is leaving your sister alone with your drunk piece of shit father.”

“Like I knew he was there, you dumbass?” JJ shoots back, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Maybe stop leaving her alone.”

“Oh, here we go,” you mutter, feeling the tension rise again. The last thing you need right now is for these two to start another fight.

Ever since JJ came back to the mainland only to pick you up from Taneyhill, things had been…tense. It was one thing to talk about you and Rafe, it was a completely different thing to see you together.

You know your brother hates every second of it. 

“Oh, but you wanna talk about drunk pieces of shit? How many times did your daddy bail you out?” 

Rafe’s eyes narrow, his fists clenching, “How many times did you make your sister bail you out, huh?”

"You wanna talk about sisters too?"

You shut your eyes, attempting to ignore the way they’re clawing each other’s throats out with tainted insults. It was a miracle they're standing in the same room without killing each other, but you can only take so much. It’s like they’re about to throw punches, right there in the middle of the sheriff’s office.

"Shut the fuck up Maybank."

“Fuck you, Cameron!” JJ snaps, standing up so fast his chair skids backward, “You think you’re better than us?”

Rafe stands up too, stepping closer to JJ, “Better than you? Yes.”

“Don’t act like you’re doing this for her,” JJ scoffs. “You’ve never helped anyone but yourself, you manipulative asshole.”

“That’s enough,” you snap, standing up and stepping between them, pushing them apart. Your voice is shaking with frustration. “You two are going to shut the fuck up or take this shit outside. It’s nine in the morning. I didn’t get a wink of sleep, and I’m not gonna sit here and hear you two bitch it you.”  

JJ glares at Rafe over your shoulder. “We don’t need this asshole’s help. We can handle it ourselves.”

Rafe sneers. “Handle it? Like you’ve handled everything else?”

Your brother lunges forward, but you push him back, your voice shaking. “Sit your ass down or leave, I’m not going to repeat myself.”

They both just stare at you, their harsh words still hanging in the air of this stuffy room. The tension is almost suffocating, but there's no way you’re letting them keep tearing each other apart. You’re exhausted, emotionally and physically drained. The last thing you need right now is to play mediator between them… again.

Rafe finally sits down, arms crossed, biting his tongue—for your sake, you know. JJ’s sitting too now, still fidgeting like he always does, tapping his fingers against the armrest.

"Look," you say, your voice still firm, "We're here for a reason. Let's just get through this and get out, okay?"

Your brother just grunts, glaring at the wall like it’s personally offended him. Rafe lets out a sigh and gives you the tiniest nod, like a reluctant “fine.” You sit back down, feeling a bit of the weight in your chest ease up. Rafe leans in and gently takes your hand, mouthing, "I’m sorry." You give it a little squeeze—apology accepted, for now.

JJ notices but looks away too quickly for you to read him. You know he’s pissed, but at least for the moment, he’s staying quiet.

The minutes crawl by, each one feeling like forever, and finally, a cop shows up at the door, calling your name. The three of you stand up at the same time, and Rafe and JJ follow behind you, silent but close, as you walk down the hallway.

The clanging of barred doors shutting behind you makes your stomach twist, and you eventually end up in a small interrogation room. The officer gestures to a chair, "Take a seat." He heads off to get paperwork, and you glance at Rafe, who’s watching you like he’s afraid you might disappear. You know he won’t relax until your dad is completely out of the picture.

Your brother, on the other hand, leans against the wall with crossed arms, a brooding expression on his face. He's always been protective, even if his way of showing it often led to clashes with others. You wish things could be different.

Officer Malcom comes back with a stack of papers, but before you can even look at them, Rafe’s lawyer, Mr. Johnson, walks in. Rafe's had him on speed dial since the whole mess started, and honestly, he's been a lifesaver. He sits beside you, reviewing the papers calmly, and just having him there makes everything feel a little less scary.

“Alright, folks, let's go through this step by step. The first form here is the petition for a temporary restraining order. It outlines the incidents and reasons for seeking protection.”

“Are these incidents documented with the sherrif’s office?” Mr. Johnson's expertise is evident in the way he examines the document meticulously.

“Yes, sir. We have reports dating back to—" Officer Malcom stops for a second, checking the data, “About eight years ago, give or take.”

Rafe’s head snaps in your direction, brows furrowed, clearly pissed off that this has been going on for that long without anyone doing anything. You try to ignore it, focusing on the papers in front of you instead.

“What happens after I file this?

“Once filed, a judge will review the petition. If approved, a temporary restraining order will be issued, usually effective immediately. Then, there'll be a hearing within a few weeks to determine if a permanent order is necessary.”

“What if he doesn't abide by the temporary order?” 

The officer only nods sympathetically. “Violating a restraining order is a criminal offense. He could face fines, jail time, or both.”

Rafe’s still looking at you, “Does she have to serve him personally with these papers?”

“It’s crucial that he’s officially notified. We handle that part, though.”

Rafe’s lawyer is taking notes when he speaks up again, “If he contests the order, he’ll have the opportunity to present his side at the hearing. Both parties can bring witnesses or evidence. But based on your father’s behavior, that’s unlikely.”

You hope to God he doesn’t. The thought of seeing him again makes you feel like you might throw up. You take a deep breath, hands itching to twirl a piece of your hair.

“How long does the process usually take?”

You feel a hand touch your shoulder, gently tightening the grip around the skin, you don’t have to look back to know it’s Rafe. By now you know the lines and the ridges of his hands as if they are your own.

"The timeline can vary, but typically, from filing to the hearing, it might take a few weeks. It depends on the court's schedule and any potential delays."

You nod, absorbing the information while trying to steady your breathing. None of this feels real. Not the legal stuff, not the fact that this could actually be over soon. As the conversation continues, Mr. Johnson outlines the next steps clearly, discussing what will happen during and after the hearing. 

The officer quickly gathers the papers in his hands, “I’ll get everything started then. Just a moment.”

As he leaves to process the paperwork, a brief silence settles over the room. You exchange glances with JJ and Rafe, both of them entirely too interested of the concrete floor. 

“This is the right thing to do, right?”

You know it is. You’ve known for years, but it’s still hard to understand how it came to this. Your life could’ve been so different. 

JJ nods, fiddling with his shark tooth necklace, the one you’d given him when he was seven. “Yeah. He shouldn’t be able to just...” He trails off shaking his head.

Rafe squeezes your shoulder once more, then lowers himself to your level and plants a quick peck on your temple, “You’ve got this. It’ll be okay.”

Mr. Johnson finally puts his pen away, turning to you, “I’ll stay on top of the filings and keep you updated on any developments.”

This moment is a culmination of years of struggle. It's daunting, but you’re not alone. 

 "Thank you.”

JJ shifts his weight, his agitation visible. "I hate this," he mutters. 

"I know," you reply, not knowing what else to say.

The door swings open again, and Officer Malcom re-enters, holding a stack of papers. "Alright," he says, handing you a pen. "Just sign here, and we'll get this process started."

You take the pen with shaky hands, knowing there’s no going back after this. As you sign your name, you can't help but sigh in relief.

This is a step towards freedom.

Rafe watches you intently, his eyes full of concern. He reaches out, placing a hand on your back, a little reminder that he's here for you. JJ stands close by, his protective instincts on high alert.

After you finish signing, Officer Malcom takes the papers and gives you a reassuring nod. "We'll take care of the rest. You should hear from us soon about the next steps."

You stand up, feeling a little lighter, but the emotional toll of the day still kicks your ass. As you make your way out of the room, Rafe keeps a steady hand on your back, guiding you.

Once outside, the morning sun feels almost blinding after the harsh fluorescent lights of the station. JJ immediately lights a cigarette, taking a long drag and exhaling with a sigh. 

Rafe looks at you, his expression softening. "You're good?"

You nod, managing a small smile. "Yeah, I think so. Thank you for being here, both of you."

JJ smirks, though there's a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Where else would I be?”

You glance at the two men beside you, each representing a different part of your world. Your brother stubs out his cigarette, glancing over at Rafe with an exaggerated sigh. He smirks, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

“Gotta admit, I never thought I'd see the day when 'Rafe the Retch' would be helping us out.”

A laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it, but you quickly cover it up, turning it into a cough. You’d forgotten about that one.

Rafe’s eyebrows shoot up. “'Rafe the Retch'? Seriously, what the fuck?”

“Ask her,” JJ nods in your direction.

“You called me that shit?”

You bite your lip, “To be fair, I called you worse things.”

Rfe tilts his head, hands on his hips, “Like what?”

“You don’t want to know.”

The three of you start walking toward the parking lot, as you reach the cars, JJ pulls you into a quick, tight hug. “We’re gonna get through this,” he murmurs, his voice filled with determination. 

You hug him back, “I know, Jay.”

Rafe stands a few feet away, watching the exchange with a thoughtful expression. When your brother finally lets you go, he steps closer, “Ready to go?”

JJ looks at you, the concern in his eyes clear. "I gotta head to work. Do you want a ride home? It's on the way.”

You glance at Rafe, then back at JJ, sensing his reluctance. “No but thank you.”

JJ’s shoulders tense, but he nods, trying to hide his disappointment. "Alright. Just... call me if you need anything, okay?"

You smile, appreciating his concern. "I will. Drive safe."

He nods again, glancing one more time at Rafe before getting into his truck and driving off. You watch him go, knowing that things are still far from being okay between the two of you.

You know he’s never going to change his opinion about Rafe, maybe not until he witnesses the changes in him, but you hope that one day they’ll find some common ground. It’s a lot to ask from your brother, you know that, and it’s why you never push him. 

“You sure you’re doing okay?”

You nod, leaning into Rafe now that he stands behind you, “Yeah, just a little tired.”

He wraps an arm around your shoulders, guiding you towards his car, “Did you get any sleep last night?”

"Barely," you admit. "Just couldn't stop thinking about today.”

He unlocks the car, opening the passenger door for you. "Well, now that it's done, you can rest. I’ll even put that bullshit show you like.”

You gasp ready to punch him in the shoulder, but by the time you turn he’s already on the other side of the car, “Love Island is not a stupid show!”

He chuckles as he starts the engine. "If you say so.”

“You watch it too.”

“Only because you force me to,” Rafe counters, a playful glint in his eyes.

It’s been a month since the nightmare with your dad, and you’ve pretty much been living at Rafe’s new place ever since. Sure, you’ve got your own house, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Rafe’s apartment though? It’s like your little safe haven now. You don’t officially live there, but who are you kidding? Most of your stuff is in his drawers, he’s stocked the bathroom with all your skincare, hair stuff, even a toothbrush. He tried to go all-out, buying you everything, and you kept telling him to stop, but it’s like talking to a wall. You gave up eventually.

As he pulls out of the parking lot, his hand slides over to grab yours. It’s such a simple thing, but it makes the tight feeling in your chest ease a little. You’re both quiet for most of the drive, but it’s not awkward or anything. It’s actually kind of nice. You never imagined he’d be so...attached. Things between you are still...somewhat undefined, but it definitely feels like a relationship. That thought is pushed to the back of your mind for now. It's just not the right moment to talk about it—not with his father’s trial only weeks away and your own dad still recovering in the hospital.

When you pull up to his apartment, the building feels familiar in a way that makes your stomach flip. He hops out of the car and, as usual, rushes around to open your door for you. It’s such a small thing, but it always makes your heart race.

Once inside, the place feels so different from the craziness of the day. It’s cozy, warm, and just... safe. You kick off your shoes and flop onto the couch, sinking into the cushions.

“Wanna watch your show?” Rafe asks, giving you that half-smile you’ve come to love.

You chuckle, feeling lighter than you have all day. “And you say you don’t love it.”

He grabs the remote and turns on the TV, navigating to the show. As the familiar theme song starts playing, you snuggle closer to him, finding comfort in the routine. It's all trashy drama and ridiculous contestants, but it’s the distraction you desperately need. Rafe’s arm stays around you, like always. But as the episode progresses, your eyelids grow heavy. The events of the day, combined with the sleepless night, catch up to you. You feel yourself drifting off, your head resting against Rafe’s chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm lulling you to sleep.

“Rest, baby,” he murmurs, his voice a soothing whisper. “I’ve got you.”

Next thing you know, you wake up to the smell of something cooking. Blinking your eyes open, you realize Rafe’s in the kitchen, and the living room is dimly lit. A blanket slips off your shoulders as you sit up, and when you look over, he’s already smiling at you.

You’ve seen him smile more times over the past month than all the years you had “known” him combined. It looks good on him, makes him look younger. 

Stretching, you ask, “What’s all this?”

“Dinner. Figured you could use a good meal,” he says casually, like it’s no big deal that he’s cooked for you.

You sneak up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. “Look at you, Chef Rafe.”

Ever since he moved in on his own, he’s been slowly learning how to take care of himself. You’ve caught him watching cooking and deep cleaning videos more times you can count. You find it endearing. It makes your chest ache, in a good way, to watch him slowly turn into his own person, not the Rafe his father shaped him to be.

He chuckles, giving you a quick forehead kiss. “Eat before it gets cold.”

You sit down, and the first bite has you practically moaning. He snorts at your reaction, but you can tell he’s proud of himself. As you eat, though, you notice he seems a little off. His shoulders are tight, and there’s something in his eyes that makes you pause. You reach across the table, placing your hand over his.

"What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Rafe. What’s wrong?”

He hesitates, then sighs. “Got a call from my lawyer. About Ward.”

The mention of his dad sends a chill down your spine. “What about him?”

Rafe’s thumb brushes your knuckles as he looks down. “He wants to talk.”

“Do you want to talk to him?”

Rafe's jaw tightens, and he lets out a slow breath. “Yeah. But every time I’ve tried to stand up to him, it’s backfired."

You squeeze his hand, “He can’t hurt you anymore, you know that, right? You're not the same person you were before," you remind him gently. "You've grown so much, Rafe. You’ve made your own life."

He looks up at you, his gaze softening. The intensity in his eyes is clear—vulnerability, determination, and a deep-seated fear. It's as if he’s silently pleading for your reassurance, for the strength to face his demons.

“You think so?”

It's in the way his eyes become softer when they meet yours, the slight quiver in his lips, the way he holds your hand just a little tighter.

“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“Okay. I…I’ll think about it.”

The two of you finish dinner, the conversation shifting to lighter topic. After cleaning up, you find yourselves back on the couch, the TV playing quietly in the background. 

Everything feels so domestic it pulls at your heartstrings. And it hits you how much you love this, just being here with him.

But you can still feel the tension rolling off him. You turn to him, tracing little patterns on his chest. “You’re still worried, huh?”

He sighs, throwing his head against the cushions, his hand coming up to rest on yours. "Yeah. I’m scared talking to him will pull me back into that dark place.”

You press a kiss to his clothed chest. “You won’t go back there. Not while I’m here.”

He tightens his hold on you, “You know you’re too good for this world. It’s ridiculous.”

You narrow your eyes, “Am not.”

“Yeah, you are, Pretty Maybank.”

There it is. That nickname. “You know that’s so stupid, right?”

He grins, completely unbothered. “You love it.”

You nudge him with your elbow. “I tolerate it.”

He catches your hand, bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss. “Fits you perfectly.”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the grin tugging at your lips.

“If you say so.”

His eyes soften as he looks at you, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your hand. “I do.”

“Shup up,” You feel a blush creeping up your cheeks. “Don’t even know how you came up with that shit.”

Rafe laughs, the sound low and rumbling, his hand moving to rub your leg.  “It’s really stupid.”

You raise an eyebrow, teasing. “’Course it is.”

“Remember when we were fourteen, and we were both at the beach for that huge surf competition? You were this cocky, skilled little girl with an ego bigger than the waves.”

“And you were a suck-up mother—"

“Anyways,” He rolls his eyes, ignoring the way you tried to cut him off, his hand now lightly squeezing your knee, “You were out there showing off, catching wave after wave. I was so fucking annoyed."

You raise an eyebrow, giving him a skeptical look. “Oh, so you were secretly in awe of me?”

“Maybe,” he admits with a sheepish grin. “Or maybe I was just bitter because you made me look bad.”

“I made everyone look bad.”

“Okay, Gabriel Medina. You were out there showing off, making everyone watch you like you owned the ocean. All the boys were ogling you, calling you pretty, and you were loving every second of it.”

You smirk, remembering the day. "I was pretty good, wasn’t I?”

“Good?” He snorts, shaking his head as his fingers trail up and down your thigh. “You were more than good, you were unreal.”

"Yeah, yeah, so how does that tie into the nickname?”

“You came out of the water, hair all messy, sand on your skin, but you had this huge smile. One of the boys called you 'Pretty Maybank,' and you just laughed, brushing it off. But I— I guess I remembered it. It fit you.”

You blink, momentarily thrown off, "I...I didn’t know you remembered that."

“You’re kinda hard to forget Maybank.”

Your heart flutters at his words, the sincerity in his voice making it hard to breathe, “Shut up.”

He leans in, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss, his hand cradling the back of your head. It only lasts a few seconds, before you’re pulling away, mumbling against his lips.

 “You know, it’s funny. Back then, I thought you were just this arrogant piece of shit who was always trying too hard to fit in.”

“That’s so sweet.”

You cup his face, brushing your thumbs across his cheeks, “Hmm. You were always showing off, too.”

“Well,” he drawls, pulling you a little closer, his arms wrapping around your waist, “We both grew out of that phase. Mostly.”

“Mostly,” you agree with a grin. “But I guess some things never change.”

“Yeah,” He doesn't take his eyes off your face, “Some things don’t change. 

There’s a brief silence, filled with the quiet sound of the TV and the comfortable presence of each other. His fingers continue to trace patterns on your hand, and you can feel his earlier stress easing if only a little.

“I don’t want to mess this up,” He admits quietly, “With you.”

“We’ve come this far, haven’t we?”

Rafe’s fingers gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, “Yeah, we have.”

“I’ll keep you in check, Cameron.”

He holds you tighter, his breath mingling with yours. “You're too good for me, y’know that?”

You laugh, “I know.”

Before you can react, his fingers are dancing across your sides, tickling you mercilessly. You squeal, wriggling and trying to escape his grasp, but he’s relentless.

"Rafe!” You gasp between fits of laughter.

"Say sorry,” he demands, his fingers still working their magic.

"Never!" you manage to choke out, tears of laughter streaming down your face.

He grins wickedly, the movement driving your tummy insane.

"Wrong answer."

You squirm in his grip, the tickling intensifying. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" you finally relent, breathless and giggling.

Rafe stops, his hands coming to rest on your waist. His grin is triumphant, but there's a softness in his eyes that makes your heart skip a beat. "That's what I thought," he muses, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You catch your breath, still smiling. "You know, for someone who's supposed to be a tough guy, you’re surprisingly good at this domestic stuff."

He chuckles, pulling you closer until you're nestled against him.

"What can I say? You bring out the best in me, Pretty Maybank."

"I like this," you admit softly. "Being here with you, just... us."

"Me too," Rafe murmurs, his hand gently stroking your hair. "Feels right, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does.”

⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ

Three weeks later, Rafe finally agrees to visit Ward in prison.

His lawyer arranged the meeting, emphasizing the importance of having this conversation to find closure. Despite your protests, Rafe insisted on doing this alone. Plus, prison's security measures are stringent, and there’s no way you could accompany him inside.

Instead, you’re stuck waiting outside, the anxiety killing you slowly. You're sitting on a bench outside the high-security prison, your foot tapping nervously against the ground.

The sun is blazing, making the wait even more unbearable. You wish you could be in there with him, supporting him. You glance at the ugly building, feeling desperate to get the hell away. Your phone buzzes, snapping you out of your thoughts. It’s a text from JJ.

"how's it going?"

You quickly type back.

"he just went in. kinda losing my mind out here."

"he’ll be okay. devil spawn and all yk".

"not helping???"

"my bad sis, just trying to lighten the mood. seriously though, he's got this."

You sigh, putting your phone down and glancing around the barren surroundings. The high walls and barbed wire of the prison seem to loom even larger now. Time drags on, every minute feels like an hour. You find yourself looking at the entrance every few seconds, hoping to see Rafe walk out.

Inside, Rafe is led through a maze of corridors, the echo of his footsteps bouncing off the cold concrete walls. The guards are stoic, their faces expressionless as they guide him to the visitation room. His heart pounds in his chest, but he forces himself to stay calm, to stay focused. He's going to be just fine.

When he finally walks in the room, he sees Ward already seated, the older man looking surprisingly composed. Of course he'd care about his appearance even when he's locked up. There's a glass partition between them, with phones on either side for communication. Rafe sits down, picking up the phone with a shaky hand. He wishes you were here. 

Ward's eyes are piercing as they lock onto Rafe's. "Look who finally decided to visit," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Took you time, boy."

Rafe takes a deep breath. This is it.

"Only came to tell you something."

Ward raises an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. "Oh? And what's that? That you’re an ungrateful piece of shit?”

Ignore him, your voice echoes in his head. He knew Ward was going to try to get a rise out of him and he hates that it might work.

"I'm done," Rafe says, his voice steady. "You don't control me anymore."

“After everything I've done for you?"

Rafe's grip on the phone tightens. "You didn't do shit for me. You did it for yourself."

Ward leans forward, his eyes narrowing. "You have no idea what you're talking about, boy. You need me."

"No, I don't," Rafe retorts, “No one needs you.”

Ward's eyes flash with anger, but he quickly masks it with a calculating smile. "Is that what you really think, son? That you can just walk away from everything? From me?"

Rafe feels a rush of anger fighting it's way up his throat, but he holds it back, remembering your words. He takes another breath, steadying himself, “I don’t care.”

Ward's smile fades, replaced by a sneer. "You think you're so strong now, don't you? Do you think you can survive out there without my influence? The world is a cruel place, Rafe. You won't last a day. You think that Maybank trash is gonna solve all your problems, huh?”

“You’re not getting under my skin.”

Ward's eyes narrow further, and he leans in closer to the glass, his voice dropping to a whisper. "So, it’s about her now, is it? What makes you think she’ll be any better for you than I was? She doesn’t know you like I do."

Rafe’s temper flares, but he forces himself to stay calm. He can’t take the bait.

"Keep her out of this.”

“You think you’re so righteous, so superior. You’ll need more than just some girl to get you through.”

“I don’t need you,” Rafe insists, his voice firm. “I never did.” 

Ward’s expression turns cold once more, but there’s a flicker of something—maybe regret, maybe just a reflection of his anger. “You can pretend you’re free, but you know I’m not so easily forgotten.”

Rafe takes a deep breath, forcing himself to stay composed. “I don’t need to hear anything else from you. I’m done.”

“You won’t be able to keep her safe.”

He knew the conversation wouldn’t be longer than five minutes.

He stands up abruptly, the phone clattering against the partition as he drops it. He doesn't need to hear Ward any more. He turns his back on his father and walks out of the room, the door clanging shut behind him. As he walks back through the maze of corridors, his thoughts turn to you, knowing you’re outside overthinking and ready to hug the live out of him. 

He’s striding to you the moment he sees you. You're still on the bench, trying to distract yourself with your phone, but it’s no use. You jump up, rushing over to him. You’re always so endearing to him it pains him to know he hurt you so badly over the years.

“You okay?”

Rafe’s arms wrap around you, finally breathing normally. His breath is warm against your ear as he whispers, “Yeah. I’m okay.”

You wrap your arms around him, holding him close as if you can protect him from the Ward’s harshness. “I was going crazy waiting out here.”

“Sorry for making you wait,” Rafe murmurs, his voice muffled against your shoulder. 

“I don’t care,” You pull back slightly, your hands moving to cup his face. Your fingers trace the lines of his jaw, feeling the faint stubble beneath your touch, “You did what you needed to do. And I’m proud of you.”

He smiles a small, tired smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, “Needed to hear that. Thank you.”

You nod, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “For what?” you ask, leaning into him again. “You did great, baby. You stood up to him. That takes so much strength.”

You take his hand, your fingers intertwining with his as you lead him away from the prison. His grip is strong, his palm warm against yours. The two of you walk in silence for a moment, the only sound the gravel crunching beneath your feet. You glance at him, noting the way his shoulders have relaxed a litte.

“I felt it. Like a weight lifting off me. It’s not completely gone, but it’s lighter.”

You stop walking, turning to face him fully. Your free hand reaches up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. It had grown so much over the past few weeks. “And it’ll keep getting lighter,” you assure him. 

“You think?”

“I know. You’ll keep needing to stand up to him,” you acknowledge, “But it will get easier each time.”

His hand brushes a stray hair from your face, copying your earlier movement. “And you’ll be here with me?”

“Always.”

Rafe’s expression softens, the hard edges smoothed away by the promise in your words. He leans in, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

His lips linger there.

“You really are too good for me,” he murmurs against your skin, the sound blending with the hum of the car engines in the distance.

“I know.”

He pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours. The intensity in his gaze takes your breath away, but it’s a different kind of intensity than you’re used to seeing in him. It’s softer, more open, and entirely focused on you.

“Let’s go home."

You nod, a smile spreading across your face. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

[smuggsy]

Someone's been setting bear traps round the local park. They aren't so easily spotted during a full moon frenzy.

Or: Anton gets injured, because bear traps work on wolves, too.

CHARACTERS: viago, deacon, vladislav, anton, clifton, dion

TAGS: hurt/comfort, blood and injury, whump lovers come get your juice!, (there aren't any bears in wellington i'm being sarcastic. they're wolf traps), in which anton can't catch a break. because i shan't let him

WORD COUNT: 3400

[ PART ONE / PART THREE ]

Deacon stops dead in his tracks and Viago walks right into his furry coat. 

"Did you hear that?"

"Forget it, Deacon," Vladislav retorts almost immediately, walking past, leather boots echoing in the empty street and hands non-chalantly buried inside the pocket of his trousers.

Viago frowns and looks up to the cloudless sky, looks like it's turning pink from the edges. Quite a night they've had. "I didn't hear anything," he admits, lips forming a pout.

Deacon turns towards the line of trees and sniffs, eyelids closing as he eagerly tries to pinpoint the scent in the air. 

Well.

He recognizes the scent alright. He just isn't sure which direction it's coming from. 

"That is because you are drunk," Deacon answers, sending Viago a side glance and a sneer that means to be nothing but playful, "and sluggish."

"I am not drunk!"

"Of course you are! That guy couldn't even walk straight! And you have been mumbling in German for the past hour and tripping all over your feet," Deacon shakes his head, teasing, "such a lightweight." 

Vladislav has already made it to the crosswalk in the corner. He isn't pleased to see, when he turns around with a groan, that neither one of his friends have moved from the spot. 

"Come onnnn, it's late! Deacon, I am not going to babysit you again. It's a full moon. Leave your teasing for some other night." 

But Deacon pays him no mind. As Deacon does. 

"What is it, old man? Scared of a little dog?"

"It is quite late, I also think we should be going ho—"

But Viago's drowsy agreement gets cut short by Deacon striding over to the opposite sidewalk. 

"The moon is about to be gone. They will be like scared little puppies then." 

At last it seems Viago's senses catch up with him and he sends Vladislav a pleading look. There's some rolling of eyes and some tired sighing and then Vlad is materializing in front of Deacon and blocking his way. Taller and broader. 

"I said no."

Deacon hisses. 

"You are not the boss of me!"

And just when Vladislav is about to hiss back and stand his ground, another howl is heard. Much closer, this time. Much louder. A long and painful cry unlike the call of a wolf for its pack. Sudden and desperate and gut-wrenching, like a creature in distress. 

It's such an unexpected sound it puts a dramatic end to the vampires' quarrel, Vladislav jerking around as if stunned by it, a half-animalistic half-human whine that pierced the quiet. Only a ten-minute walk from their current location, probably. A five-minute flight. 

After it ends, it's eerie silent again. 

The neighbourhood sleeps. Crickets halt chirping. A few dogs here and there bark out in response but go quiet all too soon, as if sensing threat themselves — but whatever got that poor sod surely isn't coming for them. 

It isn't an easy task to catch a werewolf unaware. 

Deacon stands up straight and clears his throat. 

"Yeah... yeah, you're right, it's late."

But this time it's Vladislav not tearing his gaze from the woods, not even when Deacon walks his way back to Viago, who's still pinned to the sidewalk with a newfound expression of concern on his face. 

Always the sympathetic one. 

"Let's go," Deacon says, patting Viago in the arm and walking along. 

"That didn't sound good. Maybe we should go have a look," Vladislav mumbles under his breath. 

Deacon bares his teeth. 

Well, fangs. 

"Says the man who was bugging me to get home five seconds ago," he rolls his eyes in exasperation, "it's not our problem! Let them tear each other to shreds!" 

"Deacon!" Viago tsks, disapproving, like a father calling his kid to attention. 

"What?! One less filthy werewolf to put up with!" 

"I will go have a look," Vladislav announces gingerly. And a moment after he disappears from sight in bat form. 

Deacon can only stare at the air, raging. 

"Oh, so I'm an idiot when I want to go but he can do whatever he likes because ohhhh, he's eight-hundred years old and thinks he's a knight of the crusades! Oh look at me, Vladislav the nosy!" 

A nearby window suddenly lights up. 

"Dickhead." 

>>><<<

"Dion. Dion!" 

The brunet shakes his head and turns his sight towards Anton and his bloody, swollen, red and crimson leg with– things poking out like– metal spikes and—

"Fuck. Hey," and Anton manages to grab a handful of his collar and yank him close, "get yourself together, mate. I'm—" hyperventilating. He's hyperventilating. He's still turning back. Reckons he's got about ten minutes of moonlight mojo left, enough that it'll heal just fine. If only he manages to get free of it before that time; that would be ideal. 

"I don't know that to do," Dion blurts out all panicky, like one would expect from the youngest one. It's only his fifth full moon and he looks like he's trembling. 

Anton wishes someone else would've found him. 

"What do I do?" 

But it's Dion, and he's here and he's going to have to do. 

One of Anton's hands cups the side of his neck and stays there. Bringing Dion closer, he forces a smile and tries to nod in reassurance. 

"Just open it, okay? S'okay, gonna be fine. Crack it open and we're done, yeah? We'll go home and sleep the night off, like always." 

Dion nods back, sweaty and panty and his pupils dilated like a pair of moons on a deep ocean sky. He's a mess.

Shit, Anton's not even sure he's got the strength to do that. He's back in human form too early, too fast. He's too new. He's too twitchy. He's still cluelessly crouching there. 

"Just—" Anton swallows through a dry throat and blinks white stars away from his vision. He's got a deadly grip on Dion's collar and at this point he's going to end up tearing that jacket up after it's managed to survive the night for once, "—just open it! It's fine, I can take it. But you have to do it now, mate, alright?"

Or else it's a whole month of me walking on fucking crutches, he tells himself internally. 

Seconds tick by and the moon will be gone and the bones won't heal back properly and it will hurt like hell. 

"But gimme somethin' to bite, first," he growls. 

Dion nods. 

And nods. 

And nods and nods and looks at him all lost and twitchy like he doesn't understand English and Anton bursts, "now! Fucking get me something now!"

Dion springs to his feet. 

"Yes! Yes! I'm on it!"

All fidgety, looking around and spinning in place on his bare feet. 

Anton closes his eyes and the pain doubles when he doesn't have something to focus on. So he opens them and stares at the canopy of the trees above their heads, stops on the feeling of dirt underneath him and under his nails, sweat running down his neck and spine and sticking his jogging trousers to his skin and mixing with the blood starting to dry off around the punctures in his flesh. Bloody trap's got his leg properly hooked. 

It could've been someone else.

It could've been Dion. 

"Got it! Oh, no— no, this is– too thin, it's not gonna— your teeth are gonna bite straight through that. Wait, lemme just..."

Anton's glad it isn't one of the boys. God. He doesn't even want to think about it. 

"Dion..." he pleads, takes a deep breath in to steady himself, "forget the stick. Forget it, get this thing off me, mate."

"Anton!"

Hearing Clifton's voice feels like being able to breathe again. He comes barging through that bush in front like a dog chased by the devil and almost trips on his haste to get closer. There's still hair over his palms, and his nails and ears and nose aren't fully human yet. His eyes resemble those of an animal in their strong ambar glint. 

"Holy shit," he kneels and the ground rattles and his hands instantly pin Anton's leg down to prevent any further damage, to prevent it from moving like that, which Anton hadn't even realised was moving like that, shaking like he's hypothermic, like when one's in shock, but he can't be in shock. Moon's still there? 

Still a chance. 

Heal properly. 

Moon, no hospital. 

"Anton?"

"Anton!"

"Fuck! Hold him down!"

"What—" 

"His leg, Dion! Not the—! Hold his leg, fuck's sake! I'm gonna get this thing off!"

There's a moment he feels himself just losing consciousness, but not quite. His eyes rolling back and his mouth hanging open almost deliriously, but not quite. Fire taking over his body, a fever, or just hot pain, or both. 

It's the pull of the moon slowly disappearing from the air. He can feel himself more human and less wolf with every passing moment — and that stupid metallic jaw thing is still there and he thinks he's hazy from blood loss because he can't understand what they're saying. 

"—notize him." 

"Like hell! Get the fuck away!"

"He is not going to feel a thing," a low gruffly voice assures.

"I'm fucking serious! Back off!"

"Do you want him to feel the pain?"

Someone growls. 

It's Dion. He's got a very distinctive growl. 

And then a hiss. 

"What in the ever-loving hell has happened here?"

It's the cocky tone that vaguely lifts the fog away, and Anton tries to peel his eyes open but can't find the strength in him. 

Apologizing to filthy werewolves!

Two hundred years old, tell them!

"Oh. That looks... ugh."

"Dion. Dion, look at me. At three, okay, mate? Don't mind them, hey. Focus! One..." 

"Aw, fuck man," Dion leans back, panting heavily like he's the one with a bear trap engulfing his lower leg, "maybe we should just get him to a hospital?" 

"For goodness sake," Vladislav kicks the younger werewolf out of the way and plants his hands down firmly over Anton's leg and locks eyes with Clifton, pressed for time and goes: "One, two—" 

"—three!" Clifton exclaims. The spikey ends of the trap graze his skin as he forces it open and slides it out of the way. Anton lets out a howl not disimilar from the one he let out before, but very much human. 

And this one doesn't stop. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck—" Clifton's hands aren't quick enough to stop the blood from splurting out once there's no pressure to hold it in. Dion takes a staggering step backward at the sight, colliding against Deacon in his reverie. 

"Viago, your cravat," Vladislav jerks his hand insistently and gets what he asks for immediately. 

Anton tastes copper on his tongue. He was passing out just a second ago and now he's way too awake, way too aware of the warm liquid coating the fabric of his trousers and his skin and he tries to sit up to apply some pressure to the wound and qualm the seeding unbearable hot pain travelling upwards and taking over his brain — but he can't move. Or see. 

He can only wail in pain and tear at his vocal chords. 

"Okay, do it."

So Dion didn't get him that stick, then.

"Do it! Do the thing! I can't— fuck me. Just do it!"

“Viago.”

Something cold sets over his forehead. Something soft brushes his wet hair away from his eyes. A gentle tone pries his eyes open and then... nothing. 

No more pain. 

None whatsoever. 

>>><<<

It takes Anton a long time to realise he's somewhere he's never been before. 

The smell should give it away immediately but. 

Well. Sue him. He gets a pass today. He's drugged, right? 

It feels like his thoughts are floating in a cloud of smoke impossible to catch. 

Probably Nathan giving out the wrong dose of painkillers again. Something about their different body weights and blood types requiring more or less of it? Which makes sense, really, but the thing is, Nathan is shit at maths. 

Anton isn't sure why they're still letting him do that part of the job. It's his wife who's got the medical degree, not him.

It's the familiar smells he picks up on first. Clifton's unrelenting candy corn perfume permeates the air around him. Fucking twat. 

The musky scent of wood and dirt from transformation night. These he knows. These are common scents he's grown used to over the years. 

Even the taste of blood in his mouth isn't that uncommon. 

The soft scent of vanilla... less so, but still not completely strange. Someone probably raiding his cupboard again, playing Bake Off and leaving without cleaning the dishes. Hmm. After a full moon? Unlikely.

So he can tell that's Clifton snoring at his feet even before he opens his eyes. But he can't tell where he is, and frankly, he doesn't think he would've guessed it any sooner if he hadn't been facing the door and seen two vampires at the threshold having a hushed conversation when he slowly peeled his eyes open. 

In his mind, he startles. His heart skips a beat but his body is sluggish and drained and his limps unresponsive so he doesn't get to react as quickly. Or react at all when suddenly there's a gentle hand on his left shoulder and the rising smell of vanilla again. 

"It's o-kay. You're safe here."

He turns to see Viago there. 

And he doesn't understand anything. 

He darts his eyes to Clifton on the carpeted floor by the sofa, sprawled out and drooling all over that dusty blanket draped over his shoulders, passed out but almost at hand-reach; and then to his own leg, a tourniquet firmly tied to his calf and a huge stain of blood surrounding it, still feeling warm. 

He makes to sit to have a better look but Viago's hand doesn't let him. 

"It's not fully healed yet, I don't think you should be getting up."

"How is the pain?" 

Anton blinks and stares at the dark fabric of Vladislav's shirt for a couple of seconds before it grows into focus, and then he blinks at the vampire, no longer by the door but right next to him. 

"I am still the better hypnotist, if you want me I can—"

"He's absolutely fine, Vlad," Viago interrupts gently, "give him a minute."

And Anton wants to nod yes, thank you, I do need a fucking minute. And he intends to voice that thought and opens his mouth and finds it dry and no sound comes out.

He feels dizzy trying to look into the tall figure of Vladislav standing next to him over their sofa, his head and cascading dark hair too close to that light bulb shining overhead, so painfully shiny... And he wants to wake Clifton up and ask if everyone's alright, if Dion's alright, if everyone made it home safely.

"Anton?" 

He gets to ask nothing.

He passes out himself.

Again.

>>><<<

"—long is he going to stay? This is not a bloody hotel."

"Well, once he can walk..." Viago starts, with that voice so gentle and that accent so endearing and foreign and in his feverish state Anton doesn't realise he's smiling at the sound of it. Like it's coming from a dream. 

"This is bullshit! It smells like dirt and wet dog in here!"

"Oi! Watch it, mate."

"Do not tell me to watch it, Neon!”

“It’s Dion.”

“—this is my house. You should be glad I still haven't kicked you out!"

"Yeah? I'd like to see you try, shorty."

“Guys, please...” Viago’s sweet voice tries. (And fails.)

And somewhere deep inside his mind Anton feels the need to say something. Any other day, that dull and distant voice echoing inside his brain would've been clear: stand up and... do something. Step up, they're still learning to control the urge to... uh... that thing. Prevent it from happening — whatever "it" is. 

The thing about to happen if he doesn't keep his boys in check. 

Happening, probably. 

What's that sound?

A hiss. A chair being knocked over. 

"Deacon!"

The fog lifts too quickly. Like someone slapping him awake. He opens his eyes and cries out in pain and his hands immediately grab hold of his injured leg and he feels the heat and the sweat and the smells so strongly and the light too bright and his heart hammers against his ribcage in a frenzy like he's back in the park with that thing still buried deep inside his skin.  

What the fuck?! 

"Ohhhh. Look what you did," the vampire says, the one with the perfect hair and eighteenth-century clothing that dragged him off the bus yesterday, Viago. "My hypnosis wore off."

"Your hyp...?" Anton starts, but finds himself so agitated he can't even complete the sentence. 

Clifton is pinned against the opposite wall looking down at him. 

Looking down at him. 

Clifton is in the air. 

"What do you think you’re doing?!" Anton blurts out, staring daggers at him and conveying his how-many-times-have-I-told-you-to-keep-your-cool face despite his lack of eloquence. 

Clifton lowers his arms from Deacon's shoulders — who simply drops him to the floor unceremoniously and gains himself another doggy growl. 

"He started it!" 

"So what?" Deacon crosses his arms, landing softly on the wooden planks with a shit-eating grin as Clifton flattens out his clothes. 

"Why are we in your—" Anton starts, trails off looking at Viago suddenly kneeling down on the carpeted floor and leaning towards his leg with clear intentions. 

"Ah. Well you stepped on a trap in the park, quite a nasty one actually. Blood everywhere, very gory. You were in so much pain, Clifton here gave me permission to hypnotise you so we could help you out of that predicament. And here we are! I say it's healed quite well and you have slept right through it."

Hypnosis. 

Hypnosis?! 

Vampire hypnosis?! 

"I uh..." Clifton shifts awkwardly on his feet. Looks ready to bolt right out of the room, much to Deacon’s delight. "You were so out of it, Anton, mate..."

If looks could kill... 

You let them hypnotise me?! 

Except. Anton knows he wouldn't have let it happen if it hadn't been absolutely necessary. He trusts his pack with his life and even now, with his leg seemingly back in place and no bones feeling crushed, it hurts a proper amount — meaning it was probably absolutely necessary.

Viago looks up, "it is completely harmful, don't worry about a thing." 

Anton looks back to him. He's patiently and carefully rolling up the sleeves of his shirt in the manner of a professional surgeon about to lead a procedure. But then he leans over to have a better look at his battered leg and makes a face.

"Like this," Viago says, and turns to hover a hand in the air in front of Anton's face. "You will stop feeling any pain."

What Anton feels first is himself plopping back down on the sofa with a blissful sigh, muscles he hadn't even noticed he'd been tensing simply feeling light as feathers. No ache on his left calf. No looming headache. Still hot but not feverish and uncomfortable about it. 

Viago observes him with a pleased smile and Anton is transfixed there only for a few moments. 

"Is it working?" Clifton asks impatiently, taking a step closer. "Hello? Can you hear me?" 

Deacon snorts. 

"Of course he can hear you!" 

Clifton sends him a stinky look. 

"Yeah, it's..." Anton wets his lips and feels immensely tented to just close his eyes again and drift off, "s'working, mate. That's... actually pretty nice." 

Well it won't hurt to just rest his eyesight for a second, will it? 

"Wonderful! Let's have a look..." Viago mumbles, leans back over his tourniquet with outstretched fingers.

"Why is he—? Anton? Why is he sleeping again? Did you just hypnotise him to go to sleep?" Clifton takes another step closer, nervously eyeing Deacon still there just witnessing the whole exchange and looking absolutely pleased to be having the upper hand in the situation, "did you make him sleep? Hey." 

"Not really," Viago answers, and he almost sounds sad, "my guess is he's just very tired."

"Anton," Clifton tries, and when he gets no response he whispers it a bit louder. "Hey, Anton."

And when he gets no response to that he jerks his shoulder, only a little bit. 

But the man is out. 

Well. 

You don't need to be the sharpest tool in the shed to tell Anton's fucking knackered 24/7, he thinks. And then he feels guilty about it. And then he feels relieved and he looks at Viago untying his cravat in an unsalvageable state, very gently so he can assess the damage. Thinks that saying thank you is probably in place right now. 

Except. 

Ugh.

Centuries-old rivalries and all that. 

Yeah... 

Maybe some other day.

×××××××××××

So basically imagine Deacon going at Clifton like this:

But with only Viago there to prevent disaster.

[dckweed]

okay babes, y'all asked for it and as a people pleaser i can't help but to deliver..idk if y'all are ready for this no, no...y'all are ready,but are y'all deserving? everybody say 'thank you kara' bc this has been literally the only thing on my mind for days, and if im being quite honest with you, i 100% have plans for part three and four already. y'all im doing a whole series lmao.

p.s. bob newby did not deserve that death. also i am officially on stranger things 3 as of last night!! also omg tumblr in dark mode?? so much better! also p.s. my whole family is sick, started with my one year old, then she took out her daddy, my sister, my brother and myself. my mom is the last one standing. we're 95% sure it's covid for the third time (me and her have extremely weak immune systems). also i love this gif of him dacre is literally so pretty.

warnings: MINORS DO NOT OPEN! sexual plot, meet the family plot, dad!hopper, honestly ngl billy is 100% about to be super 'i want to make love to you' bc he is 100% lovesick for reader. please use condoms, this is for fictional pleasure only. definitely AU where all the weird freaky shit doesn't happen after the first and second seasons bc idk what's going on in the third yet. reminder that i don't usually edit/proofread.

PART ONE. part three

'..SIR, THATS MY FUTURE WIFE..' billy hargrove x female!hopper!reader

It had been a few weeks now since everyone had found out about you and Billy, you had decided that you would let everything cool down about the situation. The two of you weren't the only thing that the entire student body of Hawkins High could talk about anymore, and you felt like your father could finally look you in the eyes again. You were trying to plan a nice family dinner between you, your sister and your father. It wasn't quite going according to plan, somehow, you had managed to burn the pasta noodles just a tad.

"Um, Y/N," Your dad said after taking a bite of his plate, he was wearing his work uniform, about to do another night shift. "I think you bu-" You glare at him and he shuts up. "Nevermind, it tastes great."

"Thank you, dad." You say, taking a chunk out of your garlic bread. You gave Eleven a smile, she was eating across from you without a complaint but you could tell that it must have tasted bad by the look on her face. "..is it really that bad?"

"No-" The girl had started to say, though your father's voice interrupted her. "How about I order a pizza instead?" You sigh, slumping back in your chair, closing your eyes for a brief moment before you got up to clear the table, washing the dishes and disposing of the burnt mess you had accidentally concocted.

After a while you heard the doorbell ring and you heard your father's heavy footsteps on his way to answer it. You faintly heard a brief conversation and turned off the kitchen sink just as the door closes, finishing drying the last dish just as he makes it to the table, two boxes of pizza in his hand. One for him and El to split, one for you because he always remembered your favorite, just like Billy.

You sit wordlessly, giving the two of them clean plates for their slices before you open your box, your mouth watering. If you were being honest, this was definitely more appealing than what you had made. You had been stressed the past few days, trying to work your dad up into a really big step in both of your guys' lives and you couldn't help but crave one of your comfort foods as a way to help ease your overwhelming discomfort with this new part of your life.

After a while, and just as your dad sits back in his chair, arms stretching behind his head in a way that you knew to mean that he was stuffed, you decide that now is as good a time as any. With a shakey breath you drop your pizza crust into the box and turn in your seat to face him.

"Dad, can I ask you something?" You ask, head cocked to the side, what you hope is a charming smile on your face. El continues to eat her pizza, curious as to what was about to happen, though secretly she was ready to get to her sleep over with Max at the Byers' house, you had made the arrangements, wanting an evening to yourself and she had readily agreed, tired of hearing about you go on and on about how in love with Billy you were.

The chief looks at you almost suspiciously, his mustache damn near twitching in nervousness, because that was what you did hear lately, make him nervous. God, he knew you were a teenager, hell he knew you were an adult now really, but you terrified him now that you were out in the world experiencing..things. "Yes?" He replies tentatively, almost as if he was unsure of his own answer.

You close your eyes taking a deep breath and you can almost feel him tense, and you can practically feel his dad brain yelling at him run away, to abort mission and go straight to work.

"It's been a few weeks now, and I know you're not exactly fond of the idea of him," You say, and fuck you were ready to run away yourself, abort mission and hide under your bed for the rest of your life, but you don't, you just cringe and shoulder on. "but i would really appreciate it if you would please let me have Billy over for dinner tomorrow night."

Your father is silent and you look up at him, his mouth is working but no sound comes out. You can see the red in his face, just underneath the stubble on his face and god you knew your face was just as red.

Eleven looked between the two of you, eyes wide and confused, what the hell was going on? He was never this awkward about Mike coming over, and why were you suddenly so awkward? Her pizza was abandoned at this point as she took mental notes to ask Max and Joyce later this evening.

"Daddy, please." You beg, turning to face him completely in your chair. You give him the big, begging doe eyes that used to get you everything you wanted as a child and he can't look away from you, though he still wears the pained expression. "I don't ask you for anything, ever, i take care of you and El and i cook and i clean and i don't ask you for a thing, except for this..would it really be so bad for you to meet him face to face? Man to man? He's really not so bad dad, I think you might actually get along." Okay so maybe you were really laying it on thick, but you knew you were making a valid point, you took care of three of you, and you kept up your grades at school, you were a good girl and you never asked for too much, so why couldn't he just give you this one thing?

You seem him make an almost angry face and he sighs, rubbing a hand down his face as he lets out a loud, almost terrified groan. "Okay, okay, dinner, tomorrow." He says and you squeal excitedly, though he holds his hand up to stop you. "His ass is here by five-thirty or he isn't allowed inside. Understood?"

You nod vigorously, standing from your chair and wrapping your arms around your dad, hugging him tightly. You feel him pat your back and you give him a kiss on the cheek and you feel him smile. "Thank you, thank you!" You say, jumping up and down. "I love you!" You look up at the clock on the kitchen wall. "Shit, you guys better get going."

You see them both out, giving El a hug and your father another kiss to his cheek, you watch them drive off before happily closing the door, headed towards the kitchen to finish cleaning up.

After an hour or so you settle yourself into your bathrobe, putting your hair up and away from your face as you put on a facial cleansing mask, all of the stress of the past few weeks had made you break out in a string of pimples and you wanted to get rid of them before they became so much of a problem that you needed makeup to cover all of them.

You hummed to yourself in the bathroom mirror, the shower water heating up behind you. There was nothing better than a self care night, and personally you had gotten used to doing them with your sister but you did enjoy having the evening alone.

You're so engrossed in what you're doing that you don't even notice the front door opening and closing, because stupidly, you hadn't locked it. It was Hawkins, what really went wrong here? And you certainly don't notice the sound of boots coming down the hallway, your the man humming along to a tune, finishing off a piece of your pizza crust.

He finds you in the bathroom and leans against the doorway, watching you for a moment. He couldn't help the small smile on his face, just something about watching you doing something so simple as putting whatever the hell that was on your face brought him so much happiness he didn't know how to describe it. Honestly, he knew he was in love with you, he was one hundred percent gone for you. He knew that weeks ago, hell, he knew it over a month ago when he had just looked at you and wanted nothing more than to tuck up into his arms and never let you go. He knew it when you had taken him into your arms and held him, letting him know that you were there for him, taking care of him and the bruises his father had left silently, though he could see the hurt in your eyes that it brought you, the sadness. He knew he was done for right then and there because he had felt safe, he had felt safe and loved and protected.

"You really should lock your door, sweetheart, you never know what kind of creep could just wonder in." He sees you jump, but immediately relax as you recognize his voice. He can't keep the chuckle from coming out.

"Says the creep that walked into my house." You say, turning around to face him. You lean against the counter, taking him in. You smiled, happy to see him, no visible bruises either, and he seemed like he was in good spirits by the grin he wore on his devilishly handsome face, it was one that you absolutely adored, the kind of grin that reached his eyes and lit up the whole room, the kind that looked like pure unfiltered happiness. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugs, moving from the doorframe to make his way to you. "Well, I dropped Maxine off at the same time your dad dropped off El, i thought I'd come by and see my girl while she was alone.." He says, before gesturing towards your face. "What's going on here?" He pokes your forehead, and you roll your eyes batting his hand away as he rubs some of the substance between his thumb and forefinger, curious.

"I have stress pimples, I need to make them go away, face masks help." You say turning back to the sink. You were just getting ready to wipe it away when he startled you. You reach over to get a clean rag, wetting it with warm water.

"What's got you stressed,?" He asks, actually curious as he comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he settles his chin on your shoulder, watching you. "hmm, baby?"

"My dad. I finally asked him to meet you." You say, wiping your face off as you lean back into his embrace, totally relaxed in his presence. He raises an eyebrow at you in the mirror. "He says you better be here tomorrow night for dinner, five-thirty and not a minute later or he won't let you in."

Billy chuckles, kissing your neck gently. "I'll be here at five then, surprise him." He says and you hum happily, finishing with your face before you sef the rag down, turning around in his arms before placing a slow, gentle kiss to his lips. He hums, his arms tightening around you, resting his forehead against yours when you finally pull away. "I missed you.."

You give him a love dopey grin at his words, suddenly remembering the shower running behind you guys. "Want to get in with me?" You ask, wiggling your eyebrows playfully.

Billy laughs, but happily shrugs off his jacket and slips his skin tight tshirt over his head, watching as you take your robe off, already completely naked. He can't help but watch you, admiring your body as you step in to the tub, the water already the perfect temperature.

After a minute or two he gets in after you, his arms going back around you as you let the warm water run over you, and now him as he stands behind you, your body pressed against his, erection he didn't even realize he had pressing against your ass.

You hum appreciatively at the feeling, turning around a small smirk on your face. "You really did miss me, huh?" The two of you hadn't had much time for each other, your dad had briefly grounded you for sneaking out, and though you'd seen Billy throughout the school day, you couldnt risk getting in trouble again, though that didn't stop you two from sneaking in a quickie in the back of his car again, and a few days ago the two of you had fucked in the boys locker room, Steve had almost caught you guys too, though thankfully he was completely oblivious and just needed to grab something from his locker that was one row over from where you two were. It didn't stop Billy from fucking you the whole time he was there though, your back pressed against the lockers, his hand over your mouth as his cock slid in and out of your sopping wet pussy.

God the memory had you fucking squirming.

"Baby, just looking at you gets me hard." He sighs, running his hand through your hair, tilting your head back so it would get wet. "But to answer your question, I miss you to the point that I crave you..I want nothing more than to have my cock buried deep in your pretty fucking cunt," He says, his voice that husky low sound that you just loved so much. You rubbed your thighs together at his words, feeling your face flush in response. "but im not going to fuck you in the shower, infact im not going to fuck you at all tonight.." You whine almost sadly at his words, pouting up at him. "tonight i want to make love to you, slow and sweet in your bed, wrap you up in my arms and let you know how much i care about you, let you feel how deeply in fucking love with you i am, because i am so very, very in love with you, y/n.." He didn't feel scared to say it, admit it out loud, because he already knew so deep down in his soul, he knew it and so did Maxine because as much as the little shit annoyed him, she knew him too well.

You're taken aback by his words, looking up at him. Of all the things that had ever come out of his mouth, that was not at all what you were expecting to hear in that moment. You knew he loved you, you had known it for a while now in the way that he listened to you, and let you talk, in the way that you unabashedly had all of his attention twenty four fucking seven, but god, to hear him say it? Fuck, you didn't think you'd ever been more turned on by him.

"Billy," You say, voice soft, he looks almost scared of you in that moment, of what you're going to say. He looks like a child that knows they're about to be told that they couldn't have the candy they wanted. "baby, i love you too, ive loved you from the moment you first smiled at me.." You say, standing up on your tip toes to plant a sweet, loving kiss on his lips.

He relaxed at your words, your touch, and melts into your kiss, letting it become one of passion and heat. Before you know it he's reaching behind you and turning off the water, his hands going to the back of your thighs, squeezing as a way to tell you to jump, you do so immediately mouth still moving against his.

Billy carefully steps out of the tub with you, planting his feet firmly on the floor, grabbing your towel off of the hook before wrapping it around you, drying off your back as he starts walking out of the bathroom and do the room across the hall, he had known it was yours by the two beds, and he knew that yours was the farthest closest to the wall in the back of the room, the bigger bed.

He lays you down gently, breaking the kiss to slowly climb on top of you, reattaching his lips to the skin of your jaw and working his way down, leaving soft, gentle hickies below your collarbone, even going so far as to plant one above each of your breasts, which he then subsequently spent time sucking on, taking each nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, biting them ever so gently with his teeth.

He watched you, the way that you bucked up against him, your hands grasping onto any part of his skin that you could get to. He felt his cock grow somehow even harder as he heard your soft, breathless moans and met your eyes, he winks at you, making his way even farther downwards as he spreads your legs, both hands planted on the insides of your thighs as he dipped his head down to your glistening pussy.

He hums at the sight, letting his thumb rub up and down over your folds, groaning as it comes away glistening in your arousal. "Always so fucking wet for me baby girl.." He groans out, voice deep and husky. "So fucking perfect for me.."

You moan at his words, his touch, bucking your hips up ever so slightly towards his face, begging him to give you something, anything to release the pressure building up inside of you, fuck you just wanted to feel him. "Please, baby, please..do something.." You groan out, your voice embarrassingly whiny, but he seems to love it as a smirk crosses his lips.

It must be what he had wanted to hear because almost immediately his mouth is on your pussy, his long tongue running up and down, circling your clit before sipping inside of you, it was agonizingly pleasurable, your toes curling, hands gripping his curly hair tightly as he suddenly takes your clit into his mouth, sucking on it with fervor.

Your hips buck against him wildly and he tightens his grip in your thighs, digging his fingers in before he lets one side go, bringing one of his arms up to rest across your lower belly, holding you in place as he uses his free hand to push one of his fingers into you, moving it in and out slowly.

You let out a string of moans, each one becoming louder and louder, each chant of words becoming a little less understandable as he added a other finger, and then another, curling them inside of you as finger fucked you, still sucking on your clit with a passion.

Within moments he has you cuming, your body shuddering against him as he holds you in place, groaning as your yank on his hair harshly because fuck he did love it when you played with his hair.

Once you're settled he crawls back up towards you, hovering above you. He takes your face in one hand, bringing the other one up to your mouth. "Open." His voice is gruff, but eagerly you do as told, taking his fingers into your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around them as if they were his cock. He has to close his eyes, keep himself from cuming all over you right then and there because fucking hell he hadn't ever seen a sexier sight than that before. "Taste good princess?"

You nod your head, looking at him. "So fucking good, baby." You say, your voice throaty from moaning like you had been. He moans, the hand that's gripping your face tightening as he leans down to kiss you, moving so that he's between your legs again, though this time you feel his cock brush against your still throbbing pussy, and involuntarily you moan, your body pressing up against him. "Please, Billy, I want to feel you..please baby.." You beg again, though you knew you didn't really have to.

He's quick to oblige, his own need to feel you around him, to fuck you until he can't anymore taking over. Though he keeps to his word, he's not rough like normal, he glides in and out of you with short, deep thrusts shifting so one of his arms is wrapped around your body, holding him into his chest. You cling to him, legs wrapped his waist and arms wrapped around his torso, a moaning mess under him once more.

You moan his name repeatedly and he can't take his eyes off of you because you just looks so fucking beautiful underneath him like that, your face flushed, relaxed, you look like you're in total fucking bliss with that dumb little smile you get and he can't help but to fall in love with you more, after a good while he feels you start to come undone again, your legs tightening around him as your hips meet his with each thrust.

You groan a string of words as he rides you through it, his pace steady and unwavering, though three words from you is suddenly all it takes for him. You look up at him, eyes meeting his, your hands in his hair and fucking hell you really do look beautiful. "I love you, Billy.." It was a whisper, but fuck within a second of it leaving your lips his pace faltered and he was cuming inside of you, hot thick spurts hitting you so hard that you could feel it start to drip out of you before he had even pulled out.

He lays on top of you for a few minutes, wrapped in your embrace as you both calm yourselves down. He plants slow, sweet kisses to your cheeks, slowly moving all over your face as he tells you he loves you over and over again..

You woke the next morning to a pounding on your door, scaring you awake, Billy even jumping next to you, lifting his head up to look around wildly. He had slept hard with you wrapped up tightly in his arms, pressed against his chest, and at some point during the night you had gotten up to get his things from the bathroom and to close and lock your door, hoping your father would be so exhausted that you'd be able to sneak Billy out without him noticing in the morning.

Clearly you had been wrong.

He pounds again and Billy gives you a panicked, wide eyed look.

"Y/N Hopper, you've got five minuets to get your ass up out of that bed, out of this room and get it into the kitchen, am i understood?" You heard him say, his voice thick with some kind of emotion. You weren't quite sure if it was anger or something else. "You too, Billy!" He gives one last pound to the door and the two of you share a wide eyed, terrified look.

Quickly you throw Billy his Tshirt that you had thrown on last night, and he catches it, shrugging it on before pulling his pants up over his boxers. You shrug one of your night gowns on over your head, before pulling your robe over top, trying to make it look as if you hadn't been doing anything, though you knew he was too smart to fall for that.

You give Billy a quick kiss before opening your door and leading him out to the kitchen. Your father sits in his chair at the table, arms crossed as he stares at the two of you, you feel his eyes boring into yours for a few minutes, the silence radiating off of him terrifying you to your core, and you could tell Billy was nervous too. Your father's gaze moves to him next, and after another moment he finally speaks.

"Go get dressed, Y/N, give us a few minutes together." He says, dismissing you with a stern look. You give Billy's hand a reassuring squeeze, and do as told, not wanting to cross him any farther.

He waits until he hears your bedroom door shut before gesturing to the chair closest to him, your chair. "Sit down, Billy." He says. Billy does as told, not wanting to fuck this up and end up even farther on his bad side. "Now look, I wasn't exactly expecting to see you until this evening and boy was I surprised to find your car in my driveway and my daughter's bedroom door locked." He stayed quiet, not wanting to yell because he had gotten the sense from you that Billy's home life was a constant battle, and he knew that yelling would most likely make him defensive. He wanted to speak to Billy like a man, like you had asked him to. "The whole time I was working I was thinking about what I was going to ask you, and i had it all figured out finally..I figure now is as good a time as any.."

Billy looks up at him, nervously, quietly.

"Now look, my daughter hasn't come out and said it yet, but she is head over heels in love with you, Hargrove, and that's fine and all, but you seem like the type of boy who likes to break little girls' heart's.." He says, and Billy's eye go wide, he didn't think the man would know his reputation, boy word really traveled, huh? "So, Billy, are you planning on breaking my little girls heart?" Your father knew at the end of the day that he couldn't stop you from being with him, he had raised you too head strong for that, but he wanted to know what he was going to deal with if or when this thing went sideways.

Billy shakes his head, looking at him. He shifts in his seat, trying to think of the words to say. "Sir, I know what my reputation says about me," He says, keeping his voice quiet so you wouldn't hear. "but only I know how I truly feel, and as far as im concerned, that is my future wife in that bedroom back there." He sees a change in Hopper's face, he hadn't expected that level of an answer at all. "I know it's sounds crazy, and I know that we're young, but when im with her, it's like..it's like i feel like an entirely different person, a better person and i want to be a better person in every fucking way because i want to be everything that she wants me to be and more." Billy says, the truth just spewing out of him in ways that he didn't even know, but he knew that he meant every word. "And when I'm not with her? It's like i can't even breathe properly, like very part of me is being broken down bone by agonizing bone until I see her again, even if it's just passing in the school halls and she gives me that beautiful little smile of hers, it's enough to breathe life back into me until the next time that I see her or until I get to hold her in my arms again..sir, with all do respect, I am completely, irrevocably in love with your daughter..and i will never, ever break her heart, infact she could break mine and i would still feel the same way about her at the end of the day."

Hop is silent for a moment, and Billy continues on. "And if I do mess up, if i do hurt her in some stupid way, i will gladly let you beat my ass to a bloody pulp, I would welcome you with open arms and a smile on my face because i would probably fucking deserve it for doing something so stupid as to ruin what I have with her." He finishes, glancing back towards the hallway. He meant every word of what he said, he could feel it in his soul.

Hop stares at him for a moment longer before nodding in approval, sticking his hand out for him to shake. "Then I guess we have an agreement." He says, Billy grips his hand firmly, nodding. "Sweetheart, come in here please!"

You come within a moment, staring at the two of them. "Yeah?" You ask, fidgeting with your hands as you stare at him, unable to read either of their expressions, but you can feel the emotions in the room and if made to nervous.

"Billy here is going to spend the day since it's the weekend," He says, giving him a look that says he has no choice. Billy breathes a sigh of relief, shooting you a small smile that makes you visibly relax. "He's going to help me clean the junk out of the spare room, if he's going to be staying over I'd prefer you have your own privacy away from your sister."

You had told your dad in few details about what was going on at Billy's house, and you knew that this was stemming from that, and the fact that he seemed to like him, you could tell your father was more at ease than he had been in weeks, you knew this was an open invitation for Billy to stay as often as he wanted, and you wondered if he was taking it as such.

"We'll leave your old bed in there, I'm sure Max will want to spend the night with El eventually.." He stands from his chair, tossing you his keys. "Speaking of, why don't you go they the two of them, bring them back here, she can stay for dinner too, I'll call your parents, I'm sure they won't mind hearing from me."

@dakotazzzzz @annoyingexboyfriend @ttsbaby01 @rainwritesworld @angelbbygrl @peakascum @meltedcandiedacid

[sassmar]

literary wolfstar recs part 2 (modern classics/post-2010)

hallo! Okurr so this is officially part 2 of my “literary” (by which I mostly just mean fucking beautiful) wolfstar recs & it covers the various post-2010 gems that I’ve managed to discover/read thus far. Posted this to reddit back on Remus’s bday because I’m a big nerd & thought that would be cute, but I’ve tidied it up just slightly since then bc the original post was an utterly a spur-of-the-moment thing & riddled with typos, etc.

As a general disclaimer, I abandoned fandom in like 2009-ish & have only been back for a few months so I can only imagine I’ve probably missed SO many lovely stories/authors (!!) and can only beg their forgiveness in advance. Still, wanted to post what I've got so far & hopefully one day I shall update or add a part 3 when I’ve had more time to read/explore contemporary ("contemporary") fandom.

And now, in no particular order whatsoever – modern wolfstar classics <3 -

we build our own unfolding & longsdune by @imochan.

Already recced imchan on the last list, I know, but these two were written post-2010 (meaning I just discovered them within the last 2 or 3 months lol) and are fucking beautiful, so. "We Build Our Own Unfolding" is a post-Hogwarts get-together about the death of Remus's mother, and "Longsdune" is an atmospheric multi-era fic that centers around an abandoned train station. Anyway, again, everything imochan writes is painfully gorgeous.

a history of sexuality, vol. 1 by istajmaal.

I think this is the author's only wolfstar fic but ohmygosh, it's so charming and also just achingly lovely. As the title would imply, it focuses on Sirius's sexual awakening & schoolboy crush on Remus but - God. It's just beautiful and heartbreaking and perfect. (Very minor spoiler alert but this fucking line: “Sorry I can’t make you feel normal” / “You’ve driven me so mad I don’t even care.” Kills me every time.)

annual honesty by @alwaysalreadyangry aka tigrrmilk.

This is such a beautiful and original take on the Prank, very dreamy (both in vibe and literal content, lol); Snape utilizes legilimency & dream magic in his attempts to discover what the Marauders are hiding. Walburga's also a creepy legilimens in this one, and ever since reading this fic I truly can't imagine her any other way.

grounded (& the rest of the listeneise series) by @yeats-infection aka fluorescentgrey.

Okay so fluorescentgrey has written SO many wolfstar fics and as of yet I still haven't read the vast majority of them but, but. I would be willing to bet that they are all amazing, because what I have read of hers so far is so stunningly beautiful and distinctive. I recced "Grounded" because it's a personal favorite, a Grimmauld Era canon-ish story with so many unbearably and achingly gorgeous lines, but it's actually the third part in a series (Listeneise) & every story in the series is wonderful.

EXILE/RETURN (& the rest of the empire falling series) by @polytony aka zambla.

This one's actually the last part of a series (Empire Falling), and everything in the series is beautiful and absolutely worth reading, but this one happens to be my favorite so it is now the one I'm linking here :). This is a non-magic AU and homage to Derek Jarman; Remus is a Jarman-esque artist who dies of AIDS and Sirius his surviving partner, who reads Remus’s old journals and reflects on their lives together as he travels Wales. The writing is fucking beautiful and it HURTS.

stick season by mombasas.

Such a sweet, charming premise (in which Remus unwittingly becomes the go-to helping-hand for "all things monthly" at Hogwarts) and the prose is wonderfully sharp and clean. And the PINING. This fic is pure UST/pining/etc., and it's so, so lovely.

between the moon and the stars by llassah.

A beautiful, imagistic, atmospheric get-together fic, in which James is distracted and Remus and Sirius spend most of the summer before seventh year attached at the mouth. This one is just so pretty.

light in august by orestesfasting aka @newsom.

Ahhh, the Sirius-visits-Remus-over-the-summer fic to end all Sirius-visits-Remus-over-the-summer fics. A charming, lovely, gorgeously imagistic get-together story (in which Remus and Hope Lupin are both, like, adorably granola). I mean, what else is there even to say here. This story is beautiful and happy and just, wow.

all manner of wolves & leave the children behind by @montpahrnah aka montparnasse.

Montparnasse is another one who has apparently written a LOT of wolfstar and I am just one busy human who has still not read sooo many of her fics, but they're probably all amazing because her prose is truly beautiful. "All Manner of Wolves" is a short sweet little first-kiss fic, and "Leave the Children Behind" is a long, beautiful Lie Low at Lupin's story. Again, her prose, her imagery/descriptive language, her use of metaphor . . . utterly stunning.

of witness testimony & in lieu of beaujolais by @aeridi0nis.

Omg ANOTHER author with so many fics that I've yet to read, but istg one day I will because her writing is so original and gorgeous - atmospheric and richly imagistic, full of creative metaphors, I mean - I could go on. I love everything I've read by her. "of witness testimony" is this lovely and funny and yet PAINFUL, utterly painful story from Peter's POV, in which he observes (and the other oblivious Marauders do not, lol) Sirius's immense affection for/growing attraction to Remus; "in lieu of beaujolais" is a charming post-Hogwarts story in which Remus and Sirius get a flat and sometimes hook-up and spend quite a lot of time misunderstanding each other/talking around their feelings.

static by dustmouth.

Okay this is actually a graphic fic/comic/etc. (so, pictures + words!), and probably I was the last person on earth to discover it, but anyway, it's haunting and beautiful and I can't let it go unrecced.

to fill a gap by @sqvalors.

An era-shifting (mainly post-Halloween & Lie Low at Lupin's) fic with, just, such lovely writing, and so much hurt, and - ah. Featuring an epigraph of obscure contemporary poetry and Lyall Lupin as a somewhat reserved but actually fucking amazing father. This story is just gut-punchy and achy and gorgeous.

where your teeth meet the flesh by @squidgilator.

THE FIRST SCENE. This story, this fucking story. I must rec it because it contains the most stunningly PSYCHO characterization of eleven-year-old Remus, and I cannot even. That freaking first scene has become one of my all-time favorite fanfic moments *ever.* Anyhow the story features various crucial bites in the lives of Remus & Sirius. Also, it is lovely and angsty and tender and so very good. And another author with so many wolfstar fics that istg one day I will read! Because this.

<3<3<3

p.s. tried to tag all the authors I could find on tumblr, but pls lmk if I missed anyone.

---

continuing to tag authors i find them, pls just lmk if you'd like a tag or story removed

[writer-in-theory]

Stay Stay Stay (Spencer Reid x Reader)

summary: reader is known to be a flight risk. when their relationship gets too serious, they unconsciously try to push spencer away. he doesn't let them. series summary: a series of oneshots to celebrate the release of red (taylor's version). 19 songs, 19 fics. pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader category: hurt/comfort content warnings: language, mentions of past bad relationships, mentions of blood (but like...metaphorically?), reader has commitment issues/insecurities word count: 3.5k a/n: whew, i had fun writing this one. i wanted to go with a bit of a different writing style so apologies for it taking a little longer. we’re officially halfway through this series! i genuinely didn’t think it would get this far, so thank you so much for all of the love and support you’ve given me. i haven’t responded to everyone, but just know basically every comment or every set of tags you add makes me tear up a little, and i’m not exaggerating bc i’m a complete sap like that. also huge thank you to everyone who helped fix the last scene. it literally would not have gotten fixed and posted without the help of other cm writers, so seriously, thank you. i was really struggling with this one and i ended up being really proud of it, so thanks and i can't wait for y'all to read it 💜

series masterlist masterlist send me a request!

“I love you because you have given me no choice but to..."

It has been two weeks and five days since you first began your quest to make Spencer Reid break up with you.

It was his fault, in your humble opinion. If only he hadn’t said those words, then you wouldn’t now be sitting in his apartment trying desperately not to wash the dirtied mug you were going to leave in the sink. It was those beautiful words, the ones you’d only heard before on lips tainted with the drying blood of other heartbreaks, that led you to now.

The others had said it bluntly, repeating it against your skin as many times as it would take to tattoo the words into your heart. ‘I love you, can’t you see? This is love’ they echoed, teeth dripping from the blood of other people they’d torn apart before they got to you.

Spencer had been soft, sitting on your couch beside you and holding your hands as if they were first edition copies of classic books. The glassy look in his amber eyes had scared you, making you wonder if this was the moment you’d been waiting months for. This would be the moment Spencer realized you were too poisoned by your exes to be with someone so gentle, so loving. Instead, he’d said the words you used to hate in a way only he knew how. “Move in with me.”

If the words were a bandage, then you were the injured animal too scared to allow them to wrap around its most damaged parts. You sat there, hands growing cold in his as you waited for the rest of it, the stipulation that had to be coming.

It never did though. While you hadn’t told him the exact nature of your previous heartbreaks, the marks were left clear enough on you. It was worse when you found out he was a profiler, able to read into the darkest depths of you with one look. Where once that fact had scared you, eventually you came to appreciate the way you could get away with not explaining your thoughts to him. It was like he already knew.

Except in that moment, because you were panicking and he was still giving you those doe eyes. ‘Move in with me.’ Spencer had no plans of walking away from you but rather wanted to hold you closer regardless of the reactive scratches he might receive in return.

He did just that, squeezing your hands once before adding, “You don’t have to answer that now. Wait until you’re ready.” The first hour after the conversation, you waited on tensed feet for it to come up again. The two of you had curled up on the couch in your usual fashion: both of you leaning back against the armrests and entangling your legs together in the middle. It was peaceful as the two of you worked on your own things in domestic silence. Spencer was reading a book as quickly as he had when you first met him, the day you’d called him out for skimming instead of actually reading the damn thing. He’d proved you wrong, of course, but it was still hard to believe anyone could read so fast. Every time he shifted, though, your shoulder tensed, eyes flicking up from your own work in search of the reason for the movement. You half expected him to part his lips, to ask if you’d thought more on the subject. He only surprised you again by giving you one of those small, sweet smiles you’d come to adore.

It wasn’t fair, the way Spencer could make you feel so special with a single look. It wasn’t fair that he could love you so uninhibited and all you had to give in return was mind-numbing fear over it all. You wanted out. The feeling crawled up your spine and settled into the back of your neck, curling around the knot of nerves there. What could you give him now, except more pain? What would happen to you if everything ended when you finally trusted yourself to fall again? No, you weren’t ready and Spencer deserved someone who was.

You peeked your eyes over your work, watching the way Spencer focused on his book. His feet were so entangled within your legs that you were sure they must have gone numb by now. One long finger drifted down each page as he read, the other hand dutifully holding the book open to the proper page. His neck was bent at an angle you knew had to be uncomfortable—you sometimes rubbed at that spot on his upper back, trying to relieve the tension built up there from such positions. Hair that was normally well-groomed now hung into his face with no signs of ever being pushed back. Spencer’s face was twisted up adorably in the way it only did when he was fully engrossed in something. Eyes narrowed, eyebrows pinched together, and lips slightly parted with a small peek of his tongue. Spencer was beautiful in every sense of the word, giving off the air of pure goodness.

You tried to imagine the words you’d thought before. Tapping at his ankle to grab his attention, his amber eyes would drift up to yours and would immediately light up. That small smile would be back, the one he couldn’t help but give when he looked upon you. He’d tilt his head a little, scrunch his nose once, twice, as he tried to read your face. The smile would drop as he read the news. His now open body would curl inward, away from you in an attempt to protect himself from your sharp claws.

No, you refused to break Spencer’s heart like that. You couldn’t walk away from this with his heartbreak dripping from your lips, knowing you’d left an irreparable scar on his gentle heart. You could take the pain, though, that much had been proven time and time again. What was one more wound to nurture, if only you saw it coming.

You would see this one coming from a mile away because you’d be steering straight for the divider.

It started simply; you picked out little things that after months of dating you knew would bother Spencer. Where once you would wash out your coffee mug right away before leaving his apartment for the day, you’d let it sit in the sink unrinsed. If you two were on a time crunch, you’d make sure to be just a minute slower than he’d like.

“Y/N, we’re going to be late,” Spencer protested from the front door of your apartment, already dressed up and ready.

You were ready too, locked in your bedroom and staring at your watch until the time ticked two minutes past the time he’d said he wanted to leave. “I’m coming, I promise!” you called, figuring tonight would be the night it happened.

The two of you were going to an outing with his team. It wasn’t often he brought you around them, still learning to be more open about his life with the people he considered a second family. Each time, you would watch as the nerves grew throughout the day. His shoulders would tighten and he’d start fidgeting a little more than normal. It would be harder for him to meet your gaze, too, usually looking just to the right or left of your face.

Being fashionably late was not something Spencer Reid did. He always got up at an ungodly hour of the morning just so he’d be half an hour early to the office, stating it wasn’t possible to be too early. Honestly, you were under the same belief that being on time for something was being late, but you would fight back the nerves if it meant ending this torture.

Because that’s what this all was: torture. You knew the end would come eventually; Spencer would get tired of your annoyances and would lash out, telling you he no longer wanted to live with you. Still, every time you did something you’d see the brief flash of irritation in his eyes before he’d look on you fondly as if he were amused by what was happening.

Even now, though the undercurrent of anxiety flooded through his body, Spencer was looking at you with those same bright eyes, head tilted and a full-blown smile pressed onto his face. “You’re stunning,” he spoke, and his eyes widened a little as if he hadn’t actually expected himself to say it.

It nearly broke your heart, the willingness he had to forgive you for all of your repeated transgressions. Each one, he took on without a single falter in his step, constantly giving you that same, warm look that once brought a smile to your face but now only filled you with hurt. It hurt because you never wanted Spencer to stop looking at you like that; it hurt because you knew he deserved to be looked at with the same expression.

When small annoyances didn’t work, you knew it was time to up your game.

The morning of the day it all fell apart, you woke up intent on pushing him away. So when Spencer reached over to cuddle you closer in bed, you squirmed your way out of his grip and stood up. You walked right into the bathroom so you wouldn’t have to see the hurt expression wash over his face.

“I was thinking we could go to that coffee shop you love, the one that never puts enough syrup in my drink,” Spencer suggested when you’d returned. You turned instead to the dresser, where months ago he’d rearranged his belongings so you could have a drawer of your own. It was better to stare at the few clothing choices you had here rather than the hopeful look in his eyes. This was always his suggestion when you were having a bad day and when he wanted to cheer you up.

It wasn’t fair, how you continuously tried to push him away while Spencer only seemed to hold you tighter.

“I can’t,” you answered shortly, glad he couldn’t see the way you winced at your harsh tone. It wasn’t difficult to imagine the way he’d react; flinching at the sharp refusal of his peace offering.

“I thought you had today off?”

“I do,” you confirmed, finally turning to look at him when you were sure you could keep a neutral expression, “I need some time alone.”

“Is everything okay?” Spencer’s voice had fallen, grown smaller and more unsure. It pulled at every fiber of your body, urging you to run over and reassure him that he was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Instead, you shrugged and said, “Of course, Spencer. I just need some time to myself, is that so hard to imagine?”

“No, I just thought...” There was nothing you hated more than the way he curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his middle as he sat in the bed you two had just shared. You’d always protected him, standing up against the people who made him feel smaller than. You would see the way he’d curl in to defend himself, and you’d show him that he didn’t have to, not while he had you by his side. Now, you were fighting every protective instinct in you, curling your fingers into the sides of your pants as you caused that reaction from him. “Never mind.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go then, call if you need anything,” you told him, spinning on your heels to leave.

“I love you,” Spencer called, his voice more sure than it had been all morning.

For the first time, you didn’t answer those words.

It was nearly midnight when Spencer called you. The man wasn’t particularly fond of modern technology, only using it to communicate when he absolutely needed to. His calling you was a sign of the end, you knew it deep in your chest.

“Can we talk?” Spencer asked as soon as you answered the call, not bothering with any pleasantries. Any other time, you might’ve smiled at the bluntness of it, but now your heart sunk as you realized what was happening. “I need to talk to you, we need to talk, please.” We need to talk.

You’d accomplished your goal of setting up the breakup, and yet you didn’t feel an ounce of victory. Instead, your body felt leaden with weights, ready to be plunged into the Potomac and left to deal with the repercussions of your recent sins.

“Yeah, I’ll be over soon,” you told him, moving on autopilot to change out of your pajamas. How did you dress for a breakup? It felt a little like planning a funeral, you already mourning the loss of the most beautiful thing to happen to you in years. You’d didn’t see Spencer coming until it was too late, until after he’d found a home in your heart.

You didn’t want it to be over so soon but knew it would be better for him if it was. So you drove to his apartment, trying to fight the tears that kept welling up in your eyes. You had to stay strong, at least until you were out of his apartment. If you cried, you weren’t sure Spencer would go through with the breakup.

Except when you got to his apartment, it was clear that breaking up with you wasn’t Spencer’s intention. The man was standing in the middle of his cluttered living space, looking little more than a lost kid with his arms wrapped around his middle as if to protect his most vulnerable spots. His honeyed eyes were rimmed red and swollen, cheeks shining a little in tracks from his eyes to his chin. His shoulders were shaking, and G-d, you could suddenly taste the shredded remains of his heart on the teeth you used to rip out the pieces.

“I need to know what I did,” Spencer whispered, and yet the sound reverberated around the apartment as though he’d screamed it.

“What are you talking about?” you tried, wanting to step closer but knowing doing so would only hurt both of you more. “You haven’t done anything.”

“There has to be something, you’ve been different for weeks now,” Spencer practically pleaded and you turned your head, unable to watch the destruction you’d caused. “I can fix it, whatever it was I can make it better. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

And that was the final nail. The apology for something you had caused flipped a switch. How could one person be this soft, so willing to take the blame when it was so clear it had been your problem to start with? Spencer had to know you were intentionally hurting him, and still, he was staring there bleeding and apologizing for the wounds.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair at all, so you gripped your hair as tightly as you could, tugging a little as if that would release the frustration. When it didn’t, you let out an angry groan, tensed hands gesturing in the hair to release some of the energy flooding your body. This wasn’t what you wanted. You hadn’t wanted to hurt Spencer like this, you’d wanted him to stop wanting you.

“Why can’t you just hate me?” you finally screamed, voice rough from every emotion you’d been hiding escaping through those five words. “You’re supposed to hate me, Spencer!”

“Why would I do that?” And you hadn’t known Spencer could sound more anguished than he did before, but now he managed, face twisted in worry and hurt.

“I’ve been hurting you, Spencer! For two weeks I’ve been doing everything I knew would bother you, and you still just kept on loving me! How can you keep doing that?”

“You’re my happiness, Y/N. I’ve never loved someone like I’ve loved you.”

“No! No, Spencer, you can’t say that!” you shouted, feeling the tears burn down your cheeks. It wasn’t meant to happen like this. Why couldn’t he hate you? Why couldn’t he be standing there, hurling obscenities and disparaging words at you? Why was he still so intent on keeping you? “You have to be mad at me.”

“I don’t understand,” Spencer continued to plead, now taking a few steps closer to you when you didn’t move. “Tell me what’s happening, Y/N, I need to know so I can fix it.”

“You can fix it by fucking breaking up with me!”

The silence was punctuated only by your heavy breaths, one hand gripped tight to your chest to steady yourself. You’d like to think you knew Spencer’s body language by now. You weren’t a profiler, but you’d spent months of your life with this man, and that had to have taught you something. Still, you stood in front of him now and had absolutely no idea what he was thinking, and that scared you more than anything else.

“You want to break up with me?” When his voice cracked over the words, what little was left of Spencer’s resolve broke. His face crumpled, eyes shifting down to stare at his socked feet. The brightly-colored mismatched socks seemed out of place for such a grim conversation.

His heartbreak tasted bitter on your lips. You wanted to spit it out, to walk away and never think about this again. You wanted to stay, to hold him and promise him you would never love anyone else as you loved him.

“No,” you sobbed, shoulders jerking forward as your body wracked with the admission. It wasn’t fair at all.

“Talk to me, Y/N,” Spencer spoke, softly over his own tears. In times of stress, he was often uncomfortable with physical touch. It was something that had been a hurdle at first, but slowly you two learned how to exist with each other in a way that comforted you both. Now though, he was grabbing your hand with one of his, the other reaching up to gently push your chin upward to look at him. Spencer’s expression was riddled with hurt and betrayal, but his eyes still shone brightly with the love and fondness he held for you. “Help me understand, please.”

“I’m scared.” It reminded you of when you were five and heard your first tornado siren. You’d hunkered down in the basement with your family, watching the news even though you really wanted to watch cartoons. You had never seen your parents so stressed; the two figures who were untouchable in your eyes suddenly were as vulnerable as you.

Instead of pushing Spencer away, you’d pressed all of your insecurities into his chest, forcing him to take on the vulnerability you hadn’t wanted. You would reach in and take it back now, wanting desperately to wash away the darkness you knew had tainted his brightness.

“I’m scared of the way I love you, Spencer,” and once those words were out, the rest came out in a downpour. “I’m scared of moving in with you because I’ve been dreaming about it for months. I’m scared to love you because it will absolutely break me if you leave.”

Your lower lip quivered, salty tears clinging wetting it. Spencer didn’t move for a moment, and then he did the oddest thing: he laughed. It was wet with his tears and a little manic sounding, but he was smiling and his eyes were shining again.

“I don’t-” you tried vocalizing your confusion. You’d poured your heart out to Spencer, admitted you were hurting him because you loved him, and he was laughing.

“It would hurt you if I left, so you tried to get me to leave?” Spencer clarified, and your cheeks heated up red as he put your plan into such blatant terms.

“Well, it sounds a little silly now that you put it like that,” you admitted, shrugging a little and looking off to the side.

“It’s absolutely ridiculous,” Spencer corrected, but when you looked at him that same fondness was back in his eyes. He still loved you. “I love you, Y/N, and I promise to stay.”

There was so much fear still. It clung to your deepest parts and promised to never leave, whispering words of past people who had said those three words before. Love leads to loss.

No one had promised to stay though. No one but Spencer, who still looked a little unsure but was acting brave anyway because he knew that was what you needed. Spencer, who was holding his heart out to you and begging you not to break it. Spencer, who already held yours and never showed any signs of crushing it, even if you hadn’t realized it before.

So you would take the leap. You’d reach out to hold Spencer close, squeezing him as if to say, ‘never again.’ He was trusting you to love him right in the way you were finally ready for, so you’d tell him in the only way you knew how.

“I promise to stay.”

SERIES TAGLIST

@samuel-de-champagne-problems @alexlovescriminalminds @reidsbookclub @givemeth @eurydice-but-gay @fightingdragonswithreid @girloncorneliastreet @silverhetdanes @just-a-human-witha-pen @shemarmooresfedora @rexorangecouny

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Six. Movies and Speedruns

warnings: swearing, many memes word count: 3.8k (not including pictures) (wow okay ash pop off!) 

behind the screen (irl!dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: LETS ALL JUST AGREE TO NOT LOOK AT THE DATES ON TWEETS AND STUFF BC SOME CHAPTERS ARE SO SCUFFED WITH DATES!!!! JUST KNOW THIS STORY STARTS MID NOVEMBER!!!!!!!! (in a world where covid doesn’t exist btw)

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Unknowingly and unintentionally, Y/n let out a big sigh as she poured a glass of water.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Naomi asked gently, coming up behind her and hugging her tightly.

"Peter."

Naomi hummed, a sign that she was waiting for Y/n to lead the conversation so she could follow because if it were up to Naomi, she would immediately start trash-talking Peter and she wasn't sure if that was the vibe right now or not.

Y/n shook her head in disbelief as she jumped up to sit on the counter. "He got so mad when he found out I slept over at Karl's."

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I wish you would just cut him off completely."

"I don't know. I know I should but... part of me wonders if he could ever go back to how he was when I met him. I would probably date that guy again but not who he turned out to be."

Naomi looked horrified. "No. You sound like you're considering hearing him out. No, is that a joke? He's a bad person."

"I'm not," Y/n reassured. "I'm just thinking hypothetically. Probably because I miss having someone..."

"Y/n, you have a ton of thirsty people in your mentions. If you really want someone that bad, just scroll through, land on one and I bet they're a million times better than that sack of burned potatoes."

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled lightly. "Most of those are jokes."

"Not all of them," she teased.

"I know you're going to tell me anyway so just say it. Who specifically do you think isn't joking?"

"Dream," Naomi sang.

"Okay, crazy." Y/n reached over, staying seated on the counter as she grabbed a bowl from a cabinet on her left. She then leaned all the way right, reaching as far as she could, but couldn't quite grab a cereal box from the top of the refrigerator.

Naomi rolled her eyes as she helped, handing Y/n the box. She even went the extra step to get Y/n a spoon and the milk because she was that nice. "I'm not joking. Neither is he. Karl and I have talked about it and we both agree."

Y/n paused at her friend's words, her hand hovering over the milk that Naomi held out for her. "You guys gossip about my love life?"

Naomi set the milk next to Y/n, tired of holding it out for her. "Of course? Like we don't do that about Karl? Or you and him about me?"

She couldn't argue there.

"Karl says there's a different vibe from Dream when you join calls and I believe it. I mean, I've seen it during streams myself so I can only imagine how much more obviously in love with you he is during private calls.

"That 'vibe' is Karl's delusional mind creating things. He's too scared to talk to cameragirl so he's projecting onto Dream and I."

"Yeah, okay," Naomi agreed sarcastically.

Y/n huffed. "Besides, he's in Florida. I'm in North Carolina, in case you weren't aware."

"So you're saying if you lived in the same state, you'd date him?"

"I didn't say that." She honestly had never thought of it. Sure she liked hanging out with Dream and her stomach got butterflies when he talked directly to her and he made her smile harder than anyone ever had and he—

And she didn't like him like that. She had only officially met the guy like a week and a half ago and she didn't know what he looked like. There was no way you could catch feelings for someone without seeing them.

Naomi's expression fell again. "Distance doesn't matter, anyway."

"I swear if you say something about George I will slap you," she threatened through a smile and Naomi gave her an innocent grin back.

"If you're lonely, get on Tinder, not Peter. Or get on Dream. I have no qualms with that."

"Peter isn't even an option, Naomi." Y/n sighed, ignoring the comment about Dream.  "Also," she swallowed the last of her cereal and set the bowl down with a clank. "I'm gonna tell Peter I don't want to be friends anymore. Dream and George can be added to the list of Peter haters."

"You talked to them about it?"

She nodded. "You know how I have little gossip sessions with George? Well, Dream was there too this time."

"Well, of course Dream would hate Peter. We've established that he likes you."

"No, no, you and Karl delusionally hypothesized that."

Naomi tapped the counter methodically, a sign Y/n knew to signal that she was thinking hard. "Somehow, one day, I'll prove he does."

"Good luck."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes," Y/n perked up. "Go pick something, I'll get blankets."

She went to her room, grabbing her favorite cuddling blankets. She started leaving her room when she heard a ding on her open desktop, signaling that she had a call incoming from Discord. Cool timing.

"I'll be just a second, Naomi!" she called across the house before dropping the blankets on her bed and sliding her headset on, answering the call from Dream. "Hi, Dream!" She sat on her chair and tucked her knees to her chest.

"Hi," he greeted sweetly. "How are you doing today?"

"Much better than when we last talked. How are you?"

"Great now that I'm talking to you," he said smoothly. Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "Are you busy?"

"Unfortunately, yes. My roommate and I are about to watch a movie."

"Ooh, what movie?"

"Not sure yet. Any suggestions?"

"Dark Knight. Unless you wanted me to say, like, Tangled or something."

"Yeah, girls' night is exclusively princess movies. Do you know nothing?"

"Apparently," he said with a laugh.

"What's up?"

"Oh, well, I was just gonna see if you wanted to be on call later with me, George, and Sapnap while I stream speedruns, but you're hanging out with your roommate so nevermind."

"Oh," Y/n deflated. "That sounds fun."

"I can push it back if you want to be part of it. If not, that's fine. I just thought it would be cool."

"No, no, no I really do want to, but I don't want you to have to push it back. When were you planning on starting?"

"In about an hour."

"I'll just join later if you're still playing. If that's okay that I come late."

"No. You have to be on time or not at all," he joked. "Of course that's fine," he assured. "And if I'm not playing anymore, you can still join... we usually talk for forever after we play games and it's fun. I would, er, we would love for you to hang out with us."

Y/n couldn't help the large smile on her face from staying even after they hung up and she walked back into the living room with her pile of blankets. She couldn't help it even when Naomi pointed it out and asked why she was so happy.

"Oh, uh, I've been invited to join Dream and them later for a stream."

"That vague answer doesn't warrant the shit-eating grin you have."

Y/n shrugged and cuddled more into her blankets. "What movie did you pick?"

*****

As the end credits rolled across the screen, Y/n yawned and looked over to Naomi in the dark. She was out like a light. Y/n stood up and made sure Naomi was covered in the blanket and she had a pillow. She crept back to her room and slid her headphones on, pulling up Discord where she saw the three boys' names still in a voice call.

She pulled up Twitch on her second monitor and looked for Dream's stream. It was already about an hour in. She clicked on it and her headphones echoed with the sound of George and Sapnap laughing like they said the funniest thing in the world.

"Shut up," Dream muttered. "Guys, what were the coords for the portal? Seriously, come on."

"Nobody tell him," George joked.

"George!"

"Where's Bugsyyyy?" Sapnap whined. "I want her to make fun of you with us."

"Half the stuff we're making fun of him for is about his big fat crush on her so..."

"George!" Dream yelled again. "No, it's not!"

Y/n smiled as she heard that, knowing it was a joke but laughing at the way Dream laughed at the accusation. She knew it wasn't serious or else they wouldn't talk about it on stream. George and Sapnap teased a lot, but certainly, they wouldn't out someone's crush in front of a hundred thousand viewers live.

"Oh!" Sapnap spoke out loud as George laughed loudly, both reading the text at the same time. "Speaking of..."

Dream waited for either of the two boys to elaborate but neither of them offered one. "What happened?"

"Bugsy texted us," George said off-handedly, typing a response to her. "She's coming in a second."

"Oh."

"What do you mean 'oh'?" Sapnap laughed.

"You guys have a groupchat?"

"Aw, jealous?" George asked.

Y/n joined at that moment, the first sentence coming from her Discord instead of Twitch being from Sapnap saying, "Would it make you more jealous to know our group name is Bugsy's Boys?"

"No, Sapnap, that's the one with Karl," George corrected. "The one with just you, me, and her is Bugsy's Boyfriends."

"WhAT?"

"I still don't approve of that, by the way," Y/n commented.

"Bugsy!!" Sapnap giggled happily. "You're finally here!"

"BUGSY!" George cheered.

"Hi guys!" Y/n laughed at the enthusiasm she was greeted with. "Hi, Dream!"

There was a few seconds of silence before, "Dream!!" George yelled right before the death screen appeared on the Twitch tab still opened on Y/n's right screen. "You idiot, what are you doing?! Why did you throw that run??"

She covered her mouth with the hoodie collar and laughed. "Off to a great start, bud."

"NO!" Dream yelled, knocking something, or somethings, off his desk. "Noooo! I didn't throw it, George, I FELL! Oh, that was going to be such a good run."

"What happened? How did you miss that huge ravine?" George asked while laughing. "It was literally right in the open. You didn't even try to use your water bucket."

"I-I was... I was distracted."

"By what? The completely open field with nothing blocking your vision?" Sapnap criticized with a laugh as well.

Y/n giggled to herself before letting her eyes trail to his chat, which was filled with the same accusations and guesses.

user5: BUGSY!

user2: DISTRACTED BY BUGSYS VOICE

user4: imagine saying hi so cutely that you make a man fall into a ravine

user1: are they dumb? obviously bugsy saying hi made his brain short-circut

user6: guys stop it wasn't bc she said hi. it was the g i g g l e

user3: DISTRACTED BY BUGSY!!!!

user8: HI BUGSY

user10: how to kill a man: hire bugsy to giggle and say hi directly to him

Y/n immediately blushed and covered her face again. She really had a habit of hiding even when no one could see her.

"Oh my gosh," Dream groaned, leaving the world and starting a new one. "Oh. My. Gosh. That's so annoying. I was doing so good."

"Oh," Sapnap laughed. "I understand now."

"What? What did I miss?" George asked.

"Just read chat," Sapnap explained. "They have the answer. Dream, your chat is so smart. Thanks for solving the mystery, chat!"

"No, they aren't ri— that isn't true!" Dream defended. "Chat, shut up."

"You sure?" Y/n asked teasingly, watching as his character paused when she started talking. Was she really making him this flustered just by talking? Surely not. He was just playing into the joke. He continued playing without saying anything, which made George and Sapnap laugh more.

The subject eventually changed and the atmosphere quickly became more relaxed and chill. Tonight was not a feral night like George had texted in all caps.

"Hey George," Y/n started, biting on her hoodie string with a smile because she knew Naomi would hear this when she watched the VOD the next day. "My roommate says hello."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered, making her laugh. "Let it go."

"Wow, I guess that's one way to treat your fans..."

"Fine," he sighed. "Tell her I say hello."

"Well, not if you don't mean it," Y/n teased.

"Yeah, George, you sound so unenthusiastic?" Sapnap asked.

"He's just flustered," Dream commented. "It's okay George, you can have feelings."

"Dream, you fell into a ravine because Bugsy said hi."

"Oh, come on! That's not—I just— I missed the jump! That's it!"

"I'm not flustered or unenthusiastic, I'm just tired, okay?" George explained, ignoring Dream, a yawn spilling out of him to prove it.

Y/n smiled. "Well, you could always let me give her your number if you really want..."

"No. If she had Discord you could give her that but not my phone number."

"Wait, really?" Y/n gasped. "Seriously?"

George laughed lightly. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

"YES! Okay, a huge win for the girls. Well, a huge loss for the fangirls but a huge win for the girls of this apartment."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered and she could practically see him rubbing his face in embarrassment.

"I'll send you her hashtag when she makes one so you know who to add back."

"She's going to make an account just to talk to George?" Sapnap giggled.

"Yes, dude!" Y/n defended. "She at least wants to be his friend, let her shoot her shot!"

Dream ended the steam soon after, not being able to focus enough to beat the end on any of his runs. He had streamed for just under two hours so he seemed to be getting tired as well. George went to bed soon after and after 20 minutes of talking with Sapnap and Dream, Sapnap mysteriously disappeared.

Y/n was about to leave as well, not wanting Dream to feel obligated to stay on the call with her when he spoke up.

"Does Naomi actually like George?"

"Yeah, she does."

"Then I want him to accept her love."

Y/n laughed. "How is he with long-distance relationships?"

"Well, he and I do just fine..." Dream joked. "Oh, not what you meant. I don't know, you guys are the ones that talk about each other's love lives apparently."

"You're still bitter about that?"

"Yes!"

"Suck it up," she laughed. "Naomi would do probably anything to date him so I doubt distance is a problem for her."

"George's sleep schedule is completely messed up, so the time difference wouldn't matter too much. And when he comes to America they can meet in person."

"Wait, he's coming to America?" Y/n gasped happily. "When?"

"There's no set date, but yeah eventually. He'll probably just come to Florida but we've all talked about having a huge meetup with a lot of our friends."

"Oh... cool..."

"Bug? You know you'd be invited to that, right?"

"Oh, really?" she smiled.

"Of course. You're part of the group now."

"Sick," she muttered to herself, but he heard.

"Bug, you're one of my favorite people, do you know that?"

She blushed. "Really?"

"Really."

"You barely know me, Dream."

"Yeah, well, I know enough to know that I'm sorta attached to you."

"Attached to me? In what way?"

He suddenly sounded nervous as if his brain caught up with what his mouth was saying. "I don't know, nevermind."

"No, Dream, what do you mean?" her voice was soft and understanding and it made him feel safe.

"I just... I don't know. I care about you a lot. We met only, what, like a week or two ago, and I already worry about you a lot. Playing games doesn't feel the same anymore unless you're playing with us."

"To be fair, we have been tweeting at each other for much longer than a week or two."

"Yeah, that's true. But it's not the same as actually talking to you."

She smiled shyly. "I care about you a lot too, Clay." His name sounded strange as if it suddenly made everything much more serious. "Sorry, that just kinda slipped. I won't call you Clay if you don't want me to—"

"No, it's okay, it, uh, I like hearing you... say it. But, uh, you can call me whatever you want."

She smiled widely at the nervousness in his voice and the hard pounding of her heart. "I've heard from multiple people that you never stop talking about me."

He laughed timidly. "Maybe. Do you talk about me?"

"Ask Karl," she giggled. "My guess is yes." Her stomach felt tingly and her hands shook lightly. Why did she feel like this all of a sudden? It was late, she reasoned. That, or it was because Naomi had planted the seed of curiosity in her mind. Did Dream like her? No... right?

"I'm sorry if my chat was making you uncomfortable at the beginning when I died..."

"Don't worry, I wasn't uncomfortable."

"It was true, by the way," he paused, "what they were saying. Just... in case you were wondering."

Y/n couldn't wipe the smile off her face, which was growing painful at this point. "What, my voice makes your brain short-circut? That was one comment I saw."

Dream laughed. "More like your entire presence, but... yeah I guess so."

How is someone supposed to respond to something like that? The sweetness in his voice almost made her sick but in a good way.

And just like when he named her Minecraft flower something sweet knowing that no one would see it, why was he still playing up the joke when no one was around?

Not knowing what to say, she decided to let him in on a little secret. "If it matters, you're one of my favorite people too."

"It does."

There was a deathly moment of tense silence as if both of them were screaming to say something but neither did.

"Basically, if we do have a meet-up, I'll sue you if you don't come."

Y/n laughed. "My pockets are empty, sir, so... good luck."

He laughed and it was music to her ears.

"Are you not nervous to show everyone your face? Like, if or when we do all get together."

"Not really. Especially not if it's just to our friends. Are you?"

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Why?"

She sighed. "I'm sure people have me painted in a specific way in their heads and I've seen fanart of me that is way different and way more attractive than I am. I just don't want to let anyone down by not living up to their expectations."

"Bug," Dream said softly, "you couldn't let anyone down."

"You don't know that."

"You can't disappoint real friends or real fans with the way you look."

"To be clear, Dream," she laughed nervously, afraid she would sound conceited, "I don't think I'm ugly. I like the way I look. I'm happy with me. But that doesn't mean I can't still let people down."

"Different than expected doesn't mean disappointing."

His words smacked her in the gut. He was right. Reality and imagination are very different. Neither has to be better or worse than the other. She could look the complete opposite of how someone expects but that doesn't mean they will be either disappointed OR pleased. And why does it matter anyway? If she likes how she looks, who cares what other people think?

"It's also scary to think of getting recognized in public," she admitted. "Being recognized from the start is one thing because it starts off slowly with only a few people knowing your face but if the first time people see your face is when you have millions of fans, the recognition would be overwhelming."

"That's true. I don't think I would mind that much, though."

"Of course not, you're you."

"What does that mean?"

"You like the spotlight."

"I guess. Not all the time."

"Well, what about you?" she asked. "Are you afraid of people knowing what you look like?"

"No. I want to do a face reveal soon but I don't know how I would do it. I want to do it at some kind of event or something but I don't know."

"I need to schedule around when you do it because you'll break the internet. Give us content creators a warning so we can prepare to not get viewers for a week."

Dream laughed. "Oh come on."

"Twitter would just be full of the same picture of you in every single tweet."

"It won't be that big of a deal."

"Something tells me your millions and millions of subs say otherwise."

"Whatever," he said. "As if you wouldn't break the internet too."

"Maybe for a day or two. But you'd break everything for weeks."

"Sure." There was a long pause before Dream softly said, "Karl's lucky."

"How so?"

He didn't speak for a moment, almost like he wasn't prepared for that question because he didn't mean to be heard. "I wish I could know you the way he does."

"You could. He and I knew each other in person first so it's different. You and I could get there eventually."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I trust you a scary amount for someone I met weeks ago."

"I didn't mean to sound like I'm trying to pressure you into showing me your face or telling me your name. I didn't mean like he gets to know what you look like and I don't. I meant, like, I wish we could hang out in person because I prefer that over talking in Discord."

"I get it, Clay. I feel the same way," Y/n said softly. There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again.

"Oh, gosh, it's already four."

Y/n's head snapped to look at her clock, which read 3:57am. "Already?" she whispered. "Dang."

As if acknowledging the time changed the atmosphere, it suddenly felt like 4am. Her back ached from her shifting in her chair so much over the last few hours, never being able to find a good position. The house was eerily quiet and all she heard was the low hum of the heater. The house felt stale, not used to its occupants being so alert and awake at that hour.

"I should probably go to bed..."

"Yeah, me too," Dream agreed. His voice sounded tired. "Thanks for joining us, it was really fun with you."

"Thanks for inviting me. Sorry I made you die. Hopefully you'll still let me back again."

"You're always invited to barge into my streams. Actually."

Y/n giggled again and mentally slapped herself for sounding like a little kid. "Well, you too. You can interrupt my streams anytime."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Goodnight, Clay."

"Goodnight, Bug."

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