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fuchsiagrasshopper · 4 years ago

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The Olive Branch

Author's note: Here is a modern AU one-shot I wrote for @maggiescarborough 400 follower challenge. My prompt was breaking up. Congratulations hun and thanks for letting me take part! It was something completely different for me to write and I hope everyone enjoys!

Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar x Fem:reader

Word count: 3400

Warnings: Angst, language

Your relationship with Ivar had run its course. You had known it was over the moment you overheard him talking about you in his office to his brother. What had begun as a sweet gesture to surprise your boyfriend for lunch had ended with you sneaking back out the building before he could find out you had been there. You still didn't remember most of that escape, as you had been too busy forcing yourself not to cry or scream from hurt.

It was a Tuesday, and you were fortunate enough to have a day off from work. You decided to be spontaneous, picking up soup from your favorite deli to surprise Ivar with for lunch. His job didn't always allow him the time or luxury to stop to eat, but today you would make sure he was looked after.

You and Ivar had been seeing each other for nearly six months, and you felt that in that stretch of time you had made it past any difficult hurdles that could turn a relationship sour. It wasn't perfect, but little arguments and disagreements had to be weathered in any relationship, and you got to a point where you were both comfortable with each other's faults and tendencies. When you had met one another's families without hassle, you figured that was as good a sign as any that this was something special.

You didn't go to his place of work often, but you knew your way around well enough to find his office. He worked for his family's exporting company, a numbers game that consisted of suits and ties, and corporate gatherings. Ivar had once described them to you as ass-kissing at the highest level, and after attending a few black-tie affairs by his side you understood his point.

You made your way down the brightly lit corridor that was all freshly polished floors and heavy oak doors with gold inlaid nameplates. The designer of the office had spared no expense on the finishes, and you felt underdressed compared to the expensive attire of the workers.

As you rounded the corner to Ivar's office you could see his door was ajar. He was speaking with someone, and as you neared you recognized Ubbe's voice. It didn't sound like work talk, it sounded more like Ubbe was discussing his family. You were about to walk in to interrupt when your name was suddenly brought up.

"So, how are things going with (Y/N)?" Ubbe asked.

There was a long pause before Ivar answered, and that filled you with dread. "Okay, I guess."

"You guess? I thought things were going great."

You understood Ubbe's point. You thought things were working out well between you two.

"I don't know. Recently I've been feeling that it's run its course between us. I don't think there's a future there."

Your heart was in your throat, and you thought you were going to be sick. Ivar could be distant, but you had no idea he was at the end of his rope when it came to your relationship.

"Really? Ubbe sounded as confused as you felt. "What brought this on?"

"It's whenever we do something in a social setting. She's not a bad girlfriend, but she's too shy for any of my work functions, and she isn't spontaneous enough."

"Right, as opposed to Freydis?" You heard the crunch of leather as Ubbe took a seat. "You're still hung up on her."

"I can't help it," Ivar shot back. "She was perfect for me. She fit in with my lifestyle. (Y/N)'s a good person, but she's too simple. I'm...bored when I'm with her."

A good person. Those were the only kind words he had to say about you, after dating for months. You knew about his relationship with Freydis in little detail, and only that they had broken up because she moved away for work. Maybe he should have gone with her. You were feeling bitter and used, and you couldn't listen to any more of the disparagement. You even felt guilty about eavesdropping, but you wondered how much longer he planned on keeping this from you if he was so miserable.

Your feet started in the opposite direction, reaching the elevator with your head down and the lunch you had brought hanging loosely in your grasp. Your breathing had turned labored in your attempt to keep the tears at bay, and you kept pressing the button to shut the double doors before you were forced to endure a long ride down to the lobby in the company of one of Ivar's coworkers.

The moment you were on the ground floor you began fast walking to get outside, and you threw away the lunch in the first trash bin you passed. Your eyes stun when the chilly wind brushed your face, and you knew the tears you had struggled to hold in were beginning to fall. You hoped to God people weren't staring, and you kept at a brisk pace in the direction of anywhere. You and Ivar didn't live together, so you at least had your own space to hide.

As you approached the train station, your phone buzzed with a message. It was from Ivar. You wondered what words Ubbe had plied him with to get him to reach out. Usually, a message from him when you knew he was at work would have been a delight, but now you were already into second-guessing. It was a simple invite to dinner, but you knew you wouldn't be able to sit in a restaurant and pretend everything was alright. You replied with an excuse.

Sorry, I'm not feeling well today. Raincheck

Ivar's reply was quick and to the point with a simple 'okay, feel better'. But you wouldn't feel better. Your relationship was over, he just wasn't privy to the fact yet, and you didn't want to end it with the embarrassment and disappointment still so fresh…

ooOOoo

And that's how it was for the next two weeks. You distanced yourself from Ivar while gaining clarity about the situation. The hurt turned into a dull throb, but you also accepted that it wasn't his fault for feeling the way he did, even if that was cold comfort to you. It was best for you both if you ended it and moved on.

"I think we should break up," You finished saying to Ivar as he had tried to gift you a diamond bracelet. He had dropped in unannounced again, a habit that had started after you blew off the dinner. Your visits consisted of sitting in silence on opposite sides of the sofa, and you could barely bring yourself to kiss him when he would leave.

He must have sensed something was off the past few times you had seen each other, and the bracelet was his way of trying to bridge this new gap. Now he was giving you a blank stare, trying to play catch up on whatever details he had missed that led to this behavior from you.

"Alright," He started slowly. "Can I ask why?"

Because you're bored with me, your mind shouted, but you swallowed the bitterness and forced a smile. "We've been growing apart for a little while now. You must have felt it too."

"I've felt that you've been brushing me off," Ivar said as he fell back into the armchair across from you on the sofa.

"What do you mean?" You tried to act surprised by the accusation, but your voice raised a tick. You had never been a good liar.

"Well, just now when I tried to give you the bracelet, you looked disgusted. I might as well have been giving you a can of surströmming."

"That's not--" You started to say, but he cut you off.

"Not true? No, I think it is. And what about that dinner last week? Were you even sick?"

You felt small under his strong gaze, but you weren't about to let him spin this whole thing back on you when you knew the truth. "No, I wasn't sick. I guess I just didn't want to go to dinner with you because I felt it was pointless."

"Pointless? If you'd decided that, then why did you wait until now to break up with me?"

"I've never broken up with someone before," You admitted, the first truthful thing to come out of the conversation. It was always you getting left behind, and it felt strange to do it to someone else. You still had feelings for Ivar, which didn't make it any easier knowing he didn't feel the same, and possibly never had. "I thought you'd be relieved anyways. You must have felt the same, that we were drifting apart."

"I didn't realize you felt that way," Ivar replied, frowning at his lap. "Ubbe didn't say anything to you, did he?"

You tried not to react, but your blood froze in your veins and your heart trembled. "No, why would he?"

And then you realized Ivar suspected you knew about the private conversation with his brother, only he mistakenly thought Ubbe had blabbed to you about it.

"It makes sense now, why you've been pulling away. He told you, didn't he?"

"About how I'm a good person, but that I'm too shy to fit in with your social circle," You blurted out, your anger rising.

Ivar was stunned by your abrupt attitude change. You never raised your voice for anything, even when you'd argued. "So he did tell you."

"No Ivar, Ubbe didn't tell me anything." You rose from the sofa and turned your back on him to stare out the window. It was a beautiful day. You let out a mournful sigh. Too bad you wouldn't get to enjoy it. "I came to see you that day, to surprise you with lunch. I guess you wouldn't consider that spontaneous enough though."

"(Y/N)," Ivar started and over your shoulder, you could see him pushing himself up from the chair with his cane.

"I don't want to hear it," You interjected with your hand up. "This is why I didn't want you to know I knew about that. I didn't want to hear your excuses."

"That was a private conversation you weren't supposed to hear."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Ivar frowned, and he seemed annoyed with you as if you learning the truth had inconvenienced him. "No, but I should be the one upset with you for trying to break up with me without telling the truth."

"I'm not trying to break up with you, I'm done with you, Ivar," You told him, and your blunt tone caused his face to fall. "Maybe I shouldn't have listened to that conversation, but I'm glad I did. It spares me from being in a relationship with someone miserable and bored when they're with me. Did you expect me just to not say anything and carry on as if nothing had happened?"

"We could still talk this through." His voice sounded timid, and you didn't think he meant it.

"Talk through what? You're still in love with someone else, and I won't be your poor replacement." You strode to your apartment door and held it wide open. "Please leave."

You half expected Ivar to stay put and want to argue this through further. He was nothing if not confrontational, and while you admired his inner strength, you did not want to find yourself on the receiving end of Ivar Lothbrok's ire. But in the end, he didn't say anything. His cane thumped down the hallway to the door, and as he strode by you, you kept your head down holding your breath. You don't know if you were hoping he would do something to change your mind, let you know that it had all been a misunderstanding, but that wasn't the case. Ivar left, and you found yourself closing the door long after he had gone.

Now that it was final, you didn't know how to feel. The past few weeks you had been preoccupied with internalizing your heartbreak. You had held it in for so long, that now your well was empty. Your relationship was over, and if you were going to move forward you would have to cleanse your life of Ivar. Grabbing a box from your closet, you began to pack away anything he had ever given you.

ooOOoo

It was such a cliche, the expression about missing something after it was gone, but it was currently how Ivar was feeling. A month had passed by since your break-up, and time had slowed to a crawl. He hadn't seen or heard from you since he had left your apartment that day. You had returned a box of his things when he had been away at work. Hvitserk had been home to retrieve them, and Ivar had asked how you seemed. His answer; fine.

At the top of the box was the bracelet he had bought you in a last-ditch effort to try and save the relationship. You hadn't even worn it. He didn't know why he had put in the effort to save the relationship since at that time he had convinced himself it was no longer something he was invested in. Perhaps Ubbe had gotten through to him, but by then it was already too late. You had heard everything, and it had led to a devastating end.

Ivar knew why he had second-guessed being with you. He knew from the moment you met that you were the complete opposite of Freydis. You were timid, and your interests lied in things you could do independently as opposed to a social setting. Not like him at all. After growing up different from his disability, Ivar made sure he thrived in large groups as an adult, no longer wanting to be the one isolated in the corner of the room. Being with you had reminded him that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, and he never thought you were weak as a result.

But then he had seen Freydis' engagement announcement online, and he was suddenly mourning the loss of his past. Never follow an ex on social media, that was Hvitserk's advice, and he should have listened. He and Freydis had said their goodbyes two years ago, though more reluctantly on his part. She was everything no one thought he would ever have in a partner. The beautiful blonde had chosen the cripple, and his ego had soared to new heights.

Food tasted better, the air was cleaner, everything was different from his supposed view from the top. Ubbe had reminded him that it hadn't been as perfect as the memories he clung to. During that time with Freydis, he had abandoned much of his ties to his family, and he had picked up the bad habit of spending money to the point of debt. When she had left him for new career goals, he had gradually returned to earth with the other mortals and realized he had been an asshole.

He had a momentary lapse back into that spell all because of one picture online, and unfortunately, it had bled on to you. Now all he could think about was how much he had hurt you, and with no real excuse good enough to justify such atrocious behavior.

A knock on his door came, and he threw the bracelet back into the box of his belongings that had made their way from your home and now back to his.

"Hey, you want dinner?" Hvitserk asked, poking his head in.

"Not hungry."

"Still feeling sorry for yourself, huh," Hvitserk said as he leaned upon the doorjamb.

"If I didn't, nobody else would," Ivar grumbled petulantly.

"And how do you think (Y/N)'s feeling?"

"I don't know, you said she was fine."

Hvitserk ran a hand down his face. "I was covering. If anything she looked...disappointed."

Disappointed in him more likely. He was a disappointment, and not because of his legs as he always feared. When the news of his break-up with you had spread through the family, they all were annoyed with him for making that choice. None more so than his mother. She had been vocal over the years of her dislike for Freydis, and while Ivar knew his mother would have a difficult time accepting any woman he brought home, she had come to reluctantly welcome you into the fold. The rest of his brothers didn't hold back on hurtling their own brand of criticism, each as unique and harsh as they were creative.

"What should I do," He asked aloud, and Hvitserk looked startled by the question. He was the last one in the family anyone looked to for advice, but Ivar already regretted not taking the bit about exs and social media to heart.

"Apologize. That's the only thing left, even if it won't be enough to remove the hurt right away. She needs to know you regret what you've said."

For the first time in a month, Ivar felt a smidgen of hope. "Do you think there's a chance we could start over?"

"I don't know about that. If she holds onto those things you've said as the truth, then she might have a hard time trusting you again. Those relationships never work out," Hvitserk said with a shrug.

"Maybe I should go over there and talk to her," Ivar said, already rising from his bed.

"I wouldn't," Hvitserk replied looking guilty. "Thora's over there now, and she's still pissed at you for hurting (Y/N). If you don't want to end up in grievous harm, I'd stay away for now. Sorry."

Ivar sighed as he plopped back down. "No, I get it."

"Try reaching out slowly, and work your way from there," Hvitserk suggested.

"You're surprisingly not as dumb as you look," Ivar taunted, and the first grin broke out on his face. It felt good to use those muscles again.

"I know, I'm brimming with knowledge and ready to impart wisdom," Hvitserk said with a laugh. He stood up from the door and looked ready to return to the sitting room. "You sure you aren't hungry? I haven't ordered yet."

"I think I could eat. Just give me a moment, I need to finish putting this stuff away." He indicated to the box, and Hvitserk nodded in understanding before closing the door behind him.

Ivar pulled out his phone and searched for your name. All of the things he had to say couldn't be composed of one text message, but he could extend an olive branch and hope it didn't come back as ashes.

I know this is probably coming too late, but I need you to know I'm sorry and I miss you. If you want to, I'd like a chance to meet and explain things, that's it -- Ivar

He hit send before he started to ramble or worse chicken out entirely and not send the thing. He didn't know if you would reach out right away, and he didn't want to know. Getting up from his bed, Ivar hobbled on his crutch, leaving his phone behind in his room to join his brother for dinner. Hvitserk must have sensed his change in mood, but he embraced it rather than asking, and they didn't bring you up again. It was the first time in a month he felt like himself, no heartache over Freydis and no self-pity over losing you. After a late-night of buffoonery, and pizza and beer, the brothers returned to their rooms.

Ivar ignored the phone sitting in the middle of the bed, avoiding it as if it was some cursed thing. He went about his nightly routine, all the while he felt the pull to check if you had replied. He hoped you had. Even if it was just to tell him to fuck off, something was better than no answer. After getting his legs settled beneath the covers, he lied down in bed and shut off the lamp on his side table. Before going to sleep it was time to check if you had seen his olive branch. The glow of his phone lit up his face, and his breath hitched. You had replied. His eyes flitted back and forth, tracing your words to make sure they were real.

I miss you too. Let's talk soon.

Ivar fell asleep right after, with renewed vigor in his heart. He would work to earn your trust back. Whether that meant as a couple or just as friends would be up to you, and Ivar would respect what you decided. So long as you were still in his life, everything would be alright.

Taglist

@pomegranates-and-blood @siren-queen03 @peachyboneless @didiintheblog @soleil-dor @zuxiezendler @pieces-by-me @xbellaxcarolinax @heavenly1927 @everyartistwas-firstanamateur @youbloodymadgenius @xceafh @strangunddurm @shannygoatgruff @1950schick @tgrrose @castielsangelsx @rose1729 @ladynightshade30 @mlchael-guerin @dangerouspsychicgardenflower @ritual-unions-gotme @readsalot73 @lonewolf471 @poisonous00 @alytavzla

#sophies400 #ivar x reader #modern ivar x reader #ivar x you #history vikings #vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar angst #ivar ragnarsson #vikings ivar #ivar the boneless x reader

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lliaq · 4 years ago

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okay, now that I’ve slept on it I’m actually gonna try to put down my thoughts on the season, so obvious TUA season 2 spoilers below and it’s probably going to get really long

Just to preface this, I haven’t read any of the comics, so I can’t speak to how the show compares to them.

Guess I’m gonna start with the positives, and I think what I enjoyed most about the season where just little moments between the siblings. Obvious standouts being Ben getting to talk to Vanya and Diego. I think those were the only two scenes that acutally made me tear up a bit. It was just really nice seeing him get that opportunity, and something that I’ve wanted to see since S1. It would have been even nicer if he got a moment with all his siblings, but hey, I’ll take what I can get. Another one was at the very end with Vanya and Diego just sitting on the stairs together. Just a nice little moment, even if it was short.

Luther apologizing to Vanya was a pleasant surprise and showed that he actually used his time alone to reflect and have a bit of character growth, so that was another plus.

I overall liked Allison and Ray’s relationship, and I was okay with the way it ended. It was kind of bittersweet, but it made sense and felt in character.

On that note, I also liked that Allison learned to achieve things without her powers, because never having to do that was kind of a big note of her character in S1. Not necessarily sure it had to be done by taking her voice away, I think if anything it would have been even better if she did it by choice, but I’ll get back to that.

I enjoyed the whole old Five vs “young” Five thing. Not much more to add to that, really.

And lastly, I enjoyed Reginal a lot more than I thought I would. It was interesting to see a bit of a different side of him when he was with Grace, felt like it gave his character a bit more depth, and I mean the actor is just fantastic. Like, I fucking despise Reginald, but it’s a joy to watch his performance. The way he went in on Diego at the dinner was fucking brutal, man. That was heartbreaking to watch, and the fact that none of the others stood up for him sucked, but honestly I think it just shows that despite them bonding a little, they still have a ways to go in terms of being a functional family. S1 didn’t span all that much time, and they were separated for most of their time in the 60s, so it makes sense that they’re still learning in that department. Them getting into the car with Vanya showed that they’re getting there though. Also, to get back to Reginald, I think they’ve made it pretty clear now that he’s an alien, so there’s that too. No more confusion about that.

Now on to the so-so stuff. Things that were neither all good nor all bad.

Vanya & Sissy - oh boy man. I mean first of all: give me that lesbian farm life, hell yes. I was rooting for them from the start, and I just really loved all their interactions. Also, idk if that was intentional on Ellen’s part or not, but her chemistry with Sissy was leagues above whatever the fuck was going on with Leonard. That being said- I’m personally not a fan of cheating storylines, just in general. I get why, in this case, but yeah. And unlike with Ray, I really wish they would have taken Sissy and Harlan with them to 2019. Because, for one: can we at least have one happy gay couple on this show? And second: They both deserved to have a life where they’re not constantly judged for who they are. From a character standpoint I get that going to the future would be really scary and shit, but just imagine man. Vanya and Sissy could have been together without having to hide, and Harlan could have vastly benefited from the better understanding of autism we have now. Not that either of those aspects are perfect in 2019, but they’re a long way from the 60s.

Diego and Lila’s relationship I honestly didn’t care much about. It felt like they just completely dismissed Patch and the impact her death had, by not even so much as giving her a mention. And I also just didn’t really feel it man. I mean they spent some time together in the asylum, but it seemed like they weren’t even friends really - and then by the end of the season they love each other, like girl, it’s been less than a week. Relax.

Lila on her own, I did kind of like, but I feel like she could have used a bit more development, and a little less ‘I had sex with this guy once like five days ago and now I love him more than anything’

Ben. Ben Ben Ben. I was kind of up and down on his arc. I actually liked that he was just so done with Klaus’ shit, even if calling Dave a fling might have crossed the line a bit for me. Some of the posession stuff was weird (though I’m glad they at least had the ground rules talk), but at the same time getting to see him experience the most basic sensations like air on his face and dirt under his feet was nice. He did also save the world through the power of communication and love, so you know- good job, Ben. And then they killed him (again). Ngl, I was pissed at that- but I figured they would probably find a way to bring him back somehow, so I held off judgement on that until the end, and I was right. Still not entirely happy, and whether or not that’s going to change will likely depend on what happens with S3.

Klaus’ cult story line was kind of eh. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t really like it either. His attempts to save Dave were more interesting, even if they ultimately didn’t work. Other than that, he didn’t really go through any growth this season. It did piss me off that Allison enabled his drinking after he relapsed. Fuck that.

I’m glad we got to see a little bit of how Allison losing her voice affected her, but I think they could have done more there. Idk, it just felt a bit lackluster for something so huge. Like I mentioned earlier, her living a life of never actually having to work for anything was something that shaped her character and personality in S1, and I‘m glad she’s had that realization. That being said, I think it would have been even more impactful if she worked for what she wanted w/o using her powers by choice, showing that she was was willing to put in the effort to grow and change, rather than being forced into it by circumstance. But you know, sometimes life works like that, and people don’t change unless they’re forced into a situation where they have no other option.

And, somewhat related, I think the last point for this section is Allison and Vanyas relationship. While I’m glad that they’re closer now, I wish they would have at least adressed Vanya slitting her throat. I understand that Allison doesn’t blame her, we already saw that at the end of S1, but c’mon. At least have a short conversation about it, because that was a big thing. It feels like they just used that to fuel the ‘Allison needs to learn how to do things without her powers’ storyline, and then it just got dropped, never to be mentioned again. The show tends to do that a lot, and it completely diminishes the impact of these big moments.

Okay, now to the purely negatives, here we go.

Luther moping over Allison. For the love of god. Listen, Luther did grow on me this season, compared to S1 - but I was so fed up with his moping around. Can we just not do the incest thing anymore, please. I already went through that shit with Shadowhunters (except there it at least wasn’t actually incest), I don’t wanna do it again.

Harlan. I honestly did not care for him at all. That being said, I usually don’t care about child characters, so that’s not a big surprise and not necessarily the show’s fault. But also, the fuck even was that storyline. I’m sorry, but it just made no sense. Which actually leads me right to the next point

Inconsistently written powers. Diego doing the thingy with the bullets like since when tf can he do that? I understand that the show already changed his powers from the comics, but up until that point it was strictly about knives. We never see him curve or manipulate (or whatever it is he actually does) any other objects, so this just felt so random and out of nowhere, and like they just wanted to give him a ‘badass powers moment’. If they wanted to indicate that his powers were more than what we’ve seen in S1, literally all they had to do was have him use them on something that’s not a knife at any point in the season. A 2 second shot, done. And then you don’t get to the finale and are suddenly like “the fuck”. But, boy, Vanya was even worse. Sounds. That’s what we learn her powers are in S1. Sounds, she manipulates sounds and sound waves. So how in the everliving fuck does she a) bring someone back to life, b) tranfser part of her powers to that person and create a magical connection, and c) take that part of her powers back? None of that makes any sense whatsover. The stuff in S1 where she’s sucking the life out of her siblings was already a stretch, but they’ve just made it worse this season. And this is just a minor gripe with the VFX, but her floating out of the barn looked so bad. I know it’s hard to make floating/flying people look good and natural, but other shows and movies have done it, so it’s not like it’s impossible.

And lastly: The villains. They were terrible, period.

I don’t like the Handler that much, she’s just so...plain and boring and really the only thing she has going for her are the outfits. Nice outfits don’t make a good story though. But the Swedes were even worse. Just every scene they were in felt like it dragged and I just wanted to skip past it. And then they have the fucking funeral scene with swedish Adele like are you kidding me? Am I supposed to feel bad for these pieces of white toast with zero personality or development? ??? Honestly, they could have cut them out completely and replaced them with more development for Lila and I would have been perfectly happy with that. Or replaced them with literally anything else. I don’t think I would have felt like I was missing anything important. Also, AJ? What was up with that? Again, haven’t read the comics so idk if he’s a big deal or not in them, but I really thought he would play a bigger role. That felt like such a waste of a character and like what even was the point?

I really feel like AoS (esp. S1-4) raised my bar for well written and developed villains. Admittedly, a 22 episode season allows for a lot more time to actually do that than a 10 episode season, but still. If you have less time to develop characters, then you need tighter writing and TUA completely dropped the ball on that one.

Okay. I think that’s it. I mean, I probably forgot a bunch of stuff, but these were the things most prominently on my mind after letting everything sink in for a bit. Overall I’m pretty meh about the season as a whole. I’ll probably watch S3 (if they renew it, that is), but I’m not super hyped about it or anything. The only thing keeping me interested are sibling interactions and the Ben reveal (even though his emo hair is an atrocity. I’m sorry Ben, I love you, but no.)

#tua #tua spoilers #boy this got longer than I thought it would

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mynameisdreartblog · 5 years ago

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Vacation Resorts 1

Aries: Adare Manor. “Our revenge will be the laughter of our children.” I don’t know who said that, but me makes me wanna act ballistically. «And why do you suspect that phrases like these trigger a response within you?» <Réamoinn pauses for a moment, stretches their arms into the air while using this opportunity to crack their knuckles further.> I honestly don’t know. I know saying ’I don’t know’ is a copout, but… «There’s no such thing as a copout here; this is a therapy session.» Right, right, but I feel like this is highly transactive, and I’m not offering anything of value: There’s “nothin’ in me noggin” as my mum used to say. «Well, just understand that not having the right thoughts available at the pristine moment is a perfectly normal thing in sessions, so don’t beat yourself up over it… However, I will inform you that I only have so much time for a single session of an entire day, so the more time you spend, the more you should ensure that your words are, uh, ‘quality over quantity’ as we say.» [,] <Réamoinn slouches to the side of the therapeutic sofa and begins to do that weird quirk where they jitter randomly: Likely an operative test of the body’s stimulate functions.> «Are you shivering? You look like you’re shivering; are you cold?» Aye, no. A thermostat’s not gonna heal the cold of my heart, doc. «Uh-huh, and what do you mean by the “cold of my heart”?» I thought the simile was obvious, but it basically means that I feel as if my ability to change things by myself has frozen over, and now I need something external to thaw it out of its icy state. «That sounds quite dramatic, so it must be a real detriment for you, I’m guessing.» Oh, you don’t know the extent of it, doc. You feel like a human time-capsule: Absolutely divorced from any power you have in the present to do something about the pit you’re being sucked into, and you have to accept it because there’s literally nothing you can do but wait for time to change your situation. «You know, I think what you’re describing is really applicable to a lot of other people.» I don’t doubt it, aye.

Gemini: Awanjiwo. <Thinking to themselves> I spilt goat’s milk all over my transistor, but it’s not like I needed that anyways: There’s a map of this entire scheme in my head, and it’ll be relevant so long as I keep using it. <A sudden change of psyche emerges> I could’ve given this back to that poor boy I saw earlier who had nothing for entertainment other than rusty cans, dirty footballs, and his flesh and blood companions. That kid could’ve grown to appreciate the internal workings of the radio, and who knows what education he could pursue after that… That kid could’ve became a stellar engineer! He could’ve founded the cure for cancer, mild discomfort, or working in general! No, what I decided to do with my time on Earth was keep something to myself that I never really needed: How will that reflect in eons when I’m gone? I won’t be relevant after that, but it still matters in the moment, right? But why does the ’moment’ matter; what even is the moment? Does anybody else experience the ‘moment’ differently? <A bird comes by to lick up the milk, now spilling onto the cabin floor: Rambling ensues in Truce’s mind as they contemplate why they’re here and what the radio’s dysfunction means for the ripples of the future.> [,] <A distant yelling is heard across the beach, and like that, all of Truce’s tangents cease and they perk their ears towards the sound.> Oi, what the bloody hell was that? <The signals become louder and resemble static more and more, beginning to overstimulate Truce.> Aargh, cut that crap out! Who the goddamn hell is there and why are they loud! <Truce’s hand-radio starts crackling, making them pick it up and inspect it. Suddenly, a rather clear transition comes through.> «Truce! Yes, you: The Truce who just came here from the western tip of Japen Island. Come in… Respond to me! I can see you right through my binoculars.» Then what’s the purpose of using the damn radio? Just yell at me if you’re that close for Christ’s sake. Lord knows you’re not the first stalker I’ve dealt with in my life. Fuck off, will you? […] «I mean regardless, we’re at a plane-crash site not far from where you currently are, so we’re at least worth interacting with, right?.» <Truce sets up a makeshift fire.> Yeah, get back to me before the plastic I melted collapses my lungs. <Truce throws his radio two feet out from him.>

Scorpio: Hanhwa Resort Seorak Sorano. Now, I interact with a lot of weird counselors every day, but the one I remember the best was from last year, and their name was Sonnim: They were short (as far as I’d know compared to my view), they’d always show up at the weirdest times, and they were always bossy but she said she’s like that because “you need to balance prohibited and bad behavior.” She made a big deal out of the most silly things, and I always wanted to say to her that I wasn’t really hurting anyone by doing it, so it’s not really bad. It’s worse because she also punishes me when I do truly hurtful things: She’s consistent! <Juyeon kicks her legs into the air from her spot on the bench, flicking one of her shoes off and narrowly hitting another kid.> It gets worse when I try to talk to her about it: She doesn’t seem to like honesty. <A cohort of red squirrels gather around Juyeon’s position at the recess bench.> Did I mention she’s short? I know my mom told me not to mock people for their height, but boy, she is short. I mean, I’m short even compared to other girls, but I take one glance at her and she makes me feel more confident about myself. <Juyeon kicks her legs into the air a second time, this time her other shoe remains on while the contrast between that and her shoeless foot is still present.> I’m bored… I don’t know, I think I liked it better before when there was less politics in all of it: It was about the raw fun of it all. <One of the squirrels from earlier returns to Juyeon after she kicked up an acorn beneath her feet with acorn in its cheeks: It stares down her contemplative reflection for a solid amount of time before moving onto another site in the playground.> Those weren’t even the worst parts of the whole thing… <Daylight fades and a moody night envelopes the sky: Colors start to glisten intensely as the emotions become stronger.> I don’t think she was even justified despite what she always told me. She was pretty mean all things considered. I remember her saying to me once “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”, and I respond with “I don’t kiss my mom on the lips if that’s what you mean; that’s gross.” <Electricity surges through the landscape which now looks like a mental breakdown visually translated. That one red squirrel from earlier races against the corruption with great finesse: This scene seems to be one of trauma, but that isn’t the case. All that’s there is just profound confusion.>

Capricorn: White Point Beach Resort. I hate just hearing the word “neat” in response to something positively eventful happening in my life, like showcasing the class a odd and interesting fact: “Odd and interesting” being the phrase I ingrained into myself to make me feel better. Just saying the word “neat” provokes an emotional response so barren and dreadful that one might as well not have said anything. There’s no desire to dig deeper into the cave of knowledge presented in front of people, and it’s especially more insulting when you discover that cave for them. I present my work to other people because I want to hear their perspectives too, but not everybody’s inclined to give their own unique perspective: If only they understood how truly irreplaceable and ephemeral it is, then they’d take stronger advantage of it… Back to how much I hate the word “neat”, if I just wanted to hear a word that invokes such a boring and unemotional character, like myself, then I would just recite what I think my character is in a mirror, like myself. What’d be more imaginative is the filler of words you’d usually associate with cussing, also conveniently monosyllabic, like “shit”, “cunt”, “fuck”, or “merde” if you’re feeling poignant. These words imply an insulting quality, but that’s arguably more unique than the thousands of “neats” I hear that become unique in their own collective nature. [,] I have no other emotions besides founded frustration and unfounded frustration, and that’s one painful polarity to define your life by, right? Good thing I don’t do that: Why would I? [,] If you’re gonna ask whether or not I know I sound like an asshole, I do. I think I do, but the subjective values of what makes someone an asshole are flipping my judgment to and fro. [,] I… I’m growing exhausted by all of this: It must be because of my exhaustive personality or the fact that this music is far too energetic for the situation at hand… Perhaps it’s because I camped out in freezing weather last night? No, my body is too resistant to the cold for something like that. [,] Am I in the wrong here? Nah, my students need to understand the value of liberal education through the brutality of its strict twin.

#Zodipunc #Zodiaccupuncture #Aries #Gemini #Scorpio #Capricorn

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geekygoddesss · 6 years ago

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Broken Codes (Part 3)

Summary: (Y/n) had a crush on Michael, but for her luck, her best friend did too.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin/Reader/Michael Clifford

Words: 5.6k

Warnings: Love triangle!, curse words, Crystal (just if you don’t like her, be aware she will be here a lot and I don’t dislike her so, if you hate on her you can just not read)

“Okay, Alright, my turn” I said, catching my breath as I stopped the constant giggles coming out of me.

A bottle of vodka was resting in my hand half empty, the music playing softly in the background that made no sense with the ambient in the room and the sudden company I just found myself for the night, that was the perfect recipe to cure on the night that was looking death to me from moment it stated, because oddly enough, I was having fun right now and it might have something to do with the fact that I’m completely wasted and making no sense, I was having way more fun than I anticipated and I appreciate that.

I am so drunk. This is perfect.

After a good hour and a half of drinking and giving some more embarrassing explanations about my non existent and totally platonic love life to a stranger and not getting a story back from him, everything have lead both of us to this exact moment, a moment where we were facing each other straight while sitting in sofa of that colorful and ridiculous room and in the middle of the most stupid game any drunk person could possibly do. Play 21 question.

It was dumb to do, but really it was the only drunk game we could play with only two people. It was not that bad as long as I neither of us said too much, but we were drunk as hell, even if we said something relevant, I doubt we would remember something the next morning.

I start. “Uh… when was the first time-“

“Lame” he interrupted, giggling as he took the bottle from me and took a long shot out of it, it’s been a while since he finished his own bottle.

You would think he isn’t drunk but it would be an utter lie, he was almost as wasted as I was, he was just better at pretending. We were so fucking drunk.

“Let me finish!“ I yell, way too loudly as I lean forward and snatch the bottle away “first time you kissed another guy”

He frowns, I break into laughing for absolutely no reason. Before he does even try to give me an answer he is raising his hand in question and saying “You say like I’ve done it more than once”

I raise my eyebrows. “So you have?!” I exclaimed, once again breaking to laugh out the blue.

“How do you even know if I did it a first time?” He asks, laughing too, finding my giggling contagious.

I just shrug, give him my best and drunk smile and leaning more into that comfy sofa. “Wild guess” I say, resting my chin on top of my hand “So?” I ask, still waiting for my answer.

For a second I thought he would not answer to me, that I might have stepped into some kind of danger zone and this question was far too personal (which it was)l, he was looking like he was considering it but at the same time I saw that doubting look in his eyes, afraid that he might be jeopardizing his night by telling a personal story to a stranger, but on a fair note, I have already spilled more personal stuff than I should have and I barely even know his name.

If anything, he kind of has to do it. This is 21 question, you don’t cheat on 21 questions.

“Okay” He finally said like a total confession “I did it once!” he said, a bunch of giggles coming out of him right after that. He looked a little embarrassed, but he managed to cover it up really well.

“Oh my god!” I yelled, laughing so hard that I fell on my side and drowned down my laughter in a bunch of giggles “Please tell” I insisted, scooting myself a little closer and waiting to hear the story.

He sighed, shook his head as he really thought about it and started talking “It was dumb, I didn’t even-I’m not-“ he tried explaining moving his hand as he explained himself, I nodded, I understood what he meant, I let him continue “I lost a bet, I was very drunk, I don’t know shit about football and my amazing friends dared me to made out with Luke” He confessed, just letting it all out once and for all.

You could never leave a question hanging at 21 questions.

“Luke?!” I yelled, even more, I don’t know the guy but it was a true shock. “You mean, blondie tall boy?” I asked, just to get myself a mental picture.

“Yep” he said, stealing my bottle again and taking another shot.

This was a million dollar story, really. I mean, I didn’t know Luke personally but just by a simple and passenger look and a couple of time talking to him (very shortly) I can conclude, he’s a dreamboat, I bet he probably had a million girls waiting in line to get him.

“Score!” I said, totally joking as I winked at him “Good pick” I teased, nudging his shoulder in a mock.

I might be stepping into some danger zone right now, I had no idea if he was into guys or not but I can see he is not, he blushes, shakes his head as he laughs at my teasing and nudges me back.

“Shut up” he says, laughing a little as he sat up straight “my turn” he announced, now turning this into some serious mood.

Like if this game could turn serious in any way.

“Oh no” I say, totally fake worrying about the situation.

He smiled, passed the bottle back to me and said in a sizzling tone “Since you like to ask about first times” he teased, raising his eyebrows up and down.

“No! You can’t copy my questions, that’s cheating” I exclaim, almost outraged.

“I won’t and also, I’m a gentleman so” He explained, thinking about it for a second and finally asking “when was your first time?”

I frowned. I could go ahead and say I was offended for that question, but I couldn’t be, also, I could probably say I feel a little… underwhelmed, for a person as extroverted as him I was honestly expecting his question to be something to remember and totally random, but it wasn’t.

Answering that question also felt very personal, I am not sure if I wanted to answer, but I had to.

“That’s so not gentle like” I argued, drinking more of my bottle and raising my eyebrows up “Change it? It’s a little boring”

He smiled, shook his head once and said “Nope, there’s only one rule in this game, respect it” he shrugged and looked directly at me “So when?”

If I had a choice I would rather not to answer to that, because this is one of the things that for some reason made me feel embarrassed, even when it could have been worse. There has not been a lot of times when I’ve said this out loud and honestly doing it in front of a stranger felt weird.

“I was 20” I confess, taking a very long drink.

For the first time in a long while, I feel my throat burning at the alcohol running inside of my body.

“No, I don’t believe you” Ashton said, there was a frown on his face and a surprised look that went with it.

I shrugged, not really having anything to say about it, that is the exact age I lost my virginity and I was not going to even try to make it seem like a lie and change my answer, this was the whole truth. 50% of the population in Georgia happen to lose their virginity in high school years, I am not part of that group and being honest, I don’t think anyone expected me to be one of them. Once you’re the odd one, you would always be the odd one.

I don’t know why this is so surprising to him though, he takes a second to think about my answer, looks away and then turns to me with a surprised face and said “20?!”

I nodded “Yep”

He sighed taking a couple seconds to really look at me “Aren’t you 22?” he asked me.

I smile, rolling my eyes in the process. “Don’t remind me” I scoff, taking my last drink, it hasn’t been long since I lost my virginity and I do not need anyone to remind me how inexperienced I am, trust me, I know and I do not care.

Well, I care a little bit, but he doesn’t need to know that. If you want to be cool, you have to act cool.

“Wow” He said, grabbing the bottle from my hands and taking a long drink.

And he hasn’t stop staring at me side-eyed as he drank and left the bottle on the coffee table, it was making me fairly uncomfortable.

“What?” I asked, raising my brows a little bit.

His lips are pressed together, he looks away “I don’t know” he said, laying his back on the couch now and making himself comfortable “it’s kind of hard to believe if I’m honest”

I am frowning now, but not in anger or any harsh feeling, I am a little confused at the moment, I don’t exactly know what part of my story is hard to believe.

“How so?” I ask, imitating his moves and laying back on that sofa.

he shrugs “I don’t know, It's kind of a late age to have your first time” he says, explaining himself a little better ��and I mean- if I’m honest, you’re not bad so yeah, it’s surprising at least for me”

Now I am just twice as confused. I blink once, twice and thrice, letting the seconds pass as I wait for him to specify a little bit on what he was saying because I was not completely getting. My brain had a really hard time functioning right now.

“Huh?” I say in total confusion.

“Oh for fucks sake” he says, almost as if he was losing his patience very quickly “what I mean is that, even when you’re not my type, you have a nice looking… surface” he explains himself, wearing a serious look on his face.

I can’t help to laugh at that, that was something odd to hear “Surface?” I ask, covering my mouth with one hand to stop some giggles from coming out.

“I don’t know how else to put it” He says, giggling as well as shakes his head.

I blush. Well, that was nice to hear.

“Well, Thanks I guess” I smile awkwardly as I look at him up and down “You have a nice surface too” I tease.

“Shut up” he says, nudging at me softly “So who was the lucky guy?”

This game just kept getting more and more personal as it keeps going and I don’t know if I care or not. He was definitely cheating on this game right now, he had one question and now this was the second one, It did not matter if one leads to another, rules are rules, rules are sacred. I will let this one pass though, not only because for the first time tonight, he was seeming to less tense but because I was feeling generous and I was going to let him have it.

“Oh you know- just this guy” I say awkwardly, not giving it as much importance “We dated for a couple weeks and had it go his way” I add shyly, not helping but blush as I look down “he liked rushing things a little too much”

This is the second (maybe third) time I have told this story out loud to someone and this feels just as awkward as the previous two times.

His eyebrows a little bit, in sign that he was in fact, listening. “Oh really?” he asked. I nodded “Well, first times are never good, that’s a fact” he said, giggling awkwardly and reaching back for the bottle.

He takes a long sip out of it, one that makes me think that might finally get him just as wasted as I was (or was on my way to be), I would say I’m done drinking but I am not really there yet, I feel drunk but there’s still too much on my mind, I need to go farther, It’s a bad idea but it is what I have and what I will do.

I take the bottle back from him, taking the very last sip I could from it and swallowing down the last few drops. We’re going to need another one.

“How was your first time?” I ask, leaving the glass bottle aside and shifting my position in the sofa.

I didn’t think this would be as much of a big deal of a question, at first it seemed totally innocent and not as important, but there was something in his face that told me I might have gone a bit far with this question.

His smile faded, his eyes stopped having that relaxed and friendly look to then and now there was some tension on him, one that I was afraid could end our night in a weird way.

He looked at me with a serious look, his lips pressed together in a thin line and a harsh look on him. I could sense what his answer might be.

“With my ex” he confessed, looking at shortly before looking away “my last ex, we dated for a good while” he explained, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

“Really? Wow” I mumbled, showing some kind of interest, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, I was fine with it.

“I mean” he says, elaborating a little “We’ve been on that on and off deal for so long, all the way back in high school we were at this party and then we went into a haunted house, it wasn’t really haunted but it was alone” he raised one hand as he explained “we did it”

I didn’t want to do too many questions, but I also didn’t want to do little questions, so all that comes out of my mouth is a quiet “On a haunted house” He nodded “I guess the ghosts in there had one hell of a show” I said, giving him a little smile.

He smiled just a little. “Oh I bet” he said, chuckling at my joke and looking away.

Something about him definitely changes after mentioning his ex-girlfriend, I can see in his eyes how much he actually miss her and I can’t help but feel for him and his destiny, because for as much as I know, things have not turned out well for him either.

He looks at his hands distantly, spinning the rings on his fingers in need for a distraction, the thought of her was too strong in his mind and as much as I could tell, once she was in there, taking the image off his mind was not as easy.

“forget about her” I tell him, trying to be somehow helpful and get the night going.

He sighed, I knew it was not that easy but if he could do it just for a second, maybe an hour, it would make a difference, even if it was just a small one, maybe he would feel better if he just forgot.

He looked at me for a short second, clicked his tongue and preceded to get up from the sofa. “I try” he confessed, leading himself to the mini bar “This game is getting old” he announced, opening up the fridge and pulling out a brand new bottle.

I don’t know what that was but I was up for it. Right now, more alcohol was still welcomed into my system.

“Is it?” I asked, smiling a little bit as he walked up to me, unscrewing the bottle and taking a sip.

He made a face at the taste, I must be pretty strong. Good.

“Kind of” he said, passing the bottle up to me” to close it up on a good note though” he continued, taking a sit on his previous spot and looking over at me. “How did you meet Crystal?”

I smile. I really liked that question, I loved it for so many reasons, not only because Crystal is easily the best person I have ever met in my life, but also because that is such a good memory I keep in my heart. I would never forget that day and I did not mind telling this story to a stranger, it’s a beautiful story with a happy ending and I was glad to be telling this one out loud any time.

“Huh, that goes way back” I said smiling as I take a sip from the new liquor “well it’s an interesting story, she moved to the apartment next to mine when I was 14 and I remember she was just starting her modeling thing I think, it was just taking off” I start my story, not going into much detail but telling him the most important stuff “I ran into her doing this photo shoot in the building and it was really awkward because she was covered in paint and well, you know…” I explained, signaling my boob area as a short explanation.

Yes, Crystal was topless, covered with paint from head to toe and in the middle of the hallway of my building, posing for who knows who and gaining experience at this filed. It was very awkward. I remember looking away from the scene the second I realized what was before my eyes, I also remember her ‘sorry’s repeating over and over as I walked away, you could say that was our very first interaction, my mom didn’t believe my story and I had a short trauma, but it got better at the end of the day.

I proceed. “...so I was weird out and then, uh, that night she noticed her window was just next to mine so she got on the fire escape and knock on my window and apologized” I explain shortly (I also remember the small heart attack I almost had from seeing someone on my window) “I told her it was fine by me and I noticed, she had a Maine shirt” I say with a proud smile as I keep going “The Maine it’s my favorite band”

His look turns interested at the moment he realized, that was the first time we made a real connection, that was the first time I established a real conversation with my best friend.

“We started talking about them, then passed on to movies, Books, somehow we ended up talking about boys, we talked for hours” I chuckled at the memory, not going much into detailed “so that’s how we meet” I wrap my story up with just a shrug.

The rest is history and it keeps writing itself, until today the only thing that pulls us apart from each other its college, but other than that, we are pretty much inseparable, I love her, hopefully, she loves me as much too, we were friends to be very end. No matter the circumstances, she won my heart like no one ever did.

“that’s nice” Ashton said, a small smile suiting his face at the end of my story.

“Yeah” I nod, passing on the bottle to him “At first my parents really disliked me being friends with someone so much older than me but they got around and now we’ve been friends for nearly ten years” I said, just adding that up as a fact “she’s my best friend”

He stays quiet for a long minute, lets the climax of the story and the silence sink between up for a short time as he drinks with total intention to get drunk faster but still without making this any awkward, if anything, this felt like a needed silence. One to reflect our thoughts.

“You look happy when you talk about her” he says, passing on the bottle to me and encouraging me to do the same.

“She makes me happy and I hope she feels the same, Honestly, she’s got me through tough things” I explained, repeating his previous actions and taking a long drink out of that stuff. I scrunch up my face at the feeling but I don’t let it overpower through me, I just drink a little more through it and let it go. “even now” I keep explaining, putting the bottle down “you know how my situation is, but even with that, I don’t think I could ever leave her or I don’t know…” I confess thinking about it “Break up with her”

He nods in understanding, taking the bottle for himself and raising it up “Cheers to that” he says, before taking up another long drink and settling it down. He was really going for it now, last time was just pure practice.

I just wish to know what the hell we are putting in our bodies, because this stuff it’s magic, it is working wonders on us. One more hour, only half a bottle down and I don’t think we could be drunker, we have reached our ultimate goal and we would make something out of it.

I don’t know how I got to this point, honestly, by know, things have started to look a little blurry and my mind was just playing me around however it wanted, I could be having delusions right now and I bet I would not be able to notice the difference between that and real life, I am completely wasted, this is the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time.

I was laughing at my own none sense, swirling my body to the horrible music playing in the background and totally making a fool of myself, but I didn’t care, I was having fun and apparently he was too, he was laughing and cheering at me as I did my little dumb “lap” dance and let myself go. The real party was here and whoever thought otherwise could go and take a hike.

Who is Michael? Who is Crystal? Who is dating who?

Right now there’s only me, Ashton Something and my amazing dance moves, the rest of the world could shut down now.

I move my hair widely at the sudden change of some 90’s song, I bent down my knees in a non-sexy and totally fake teasing dance and I dance my way to him.

He just laughs at me and keeps drinking as I bent down in front of him and I try guessing the words to the song in the background.

This is totally not me and I am beyond drunk. I guess this is what happens with you are heartbroken and drunk out of your mind, you just go out of your comfort zone whether you want it or not.

I sing to the silly song, crawl my way up to the sofa again and let myself fall on his lap, laying my head on top of legs and resting down the rest of my body on that empty sofa. This was fun, way too fun.

“My face is so close to your dick” I said, breaking into a fit of laughs in just a couple seconds, I could feel little tears coming through my eyes as I giggled and giggled. Rolling over myself and now snuggling myself into his lap, this was getting weird.

He shook his head at me, small giggles coming out of his mouth too as he helped me up and said “You’re so funny tonight”

My mouth broke in a big smile. “I know!” I exclaim loudly and raised both hands in the air “I’m drunk!”

“You really are!” he laughed more, staring up at me to see what my next move would be.

I don’t know what he expects me to do, but I just go with the flow. My original plan was apparently, go over the other side of the sofa and jump on it, because I remember thinking how soft it actually looked like and how bouncy it could be, but just as I went to crawl over him and into the other side, I tripped, fell over him like an idiot and started giggling like crazy.

I was just on fire.

“Oops” I said, trying to sit up by myself, but not getting up all the way. This was totally weird.

I found myself staring at his face way too close and somehow uncomfortably hard, he was not looking back at me, he was just waiting for me to get off from his body, but I don’t do that. My body bends forward, I am suddenly pressing my breaking into his personal space and whispering in his ear “I bet you’d like me closer than that, would you?”

I am a total failure at being sexy, if someone asked me, I was never good at it. I don’t consider myself the ugliest being in the world but I am definitely not the prettiest, my body isn’t the best and I am clumsy, I am so clumsy, I could trip any day, any time, at any moment. I was just that kind of person.

I know I might look ridiculous, but the fact that neither of us are on our best state it’s definitely helping the case, at least I had an excuse.

He turns to me, raises an eyebrow and chuckles “You are a pervert, I feel corrupted” he says, helping me get to the other side gently and sitting me down right next to him.

Maybe this was his way of giving me a time out, I don’t blame him, I am quite annoying sometimes.

“I’m sorry, you just-” I try to say, now realizing, I am dragging my words, I am talking like a drunk person and I am not completely okay with that. He looks up at me waiting for me to finish that line “you have a nice face, that’s all” I say, lifting my index finger and touching his cheek “it’s inspiring”

He smiles, laughs at my state and pulls his face off my finger, grabbing my hand in the process and holding it down before I decided to do it again. I pout, trying to do the same with my other side but he stops me, also pinning down my opposite hand and keeping them there.

“Speaking of,” he says, turning to me “There’s something in your face, silly”

I feel myself frowning. I swear, if I was just a little more drunk (if possible) I would be crying right now. I hated to have things smeared on my face. “What?” I say in confusion.

“Yeah, right there” he said, touching my chin with his hand, letting go of mine.

I touch my face, here, there, everywhere, trying to find the weird feeling but not figuring out. “Where? Here?” I said, wiping off my chin but also my cheek, then my forehead and back to my chin.

“Uh Huh” he said nodding, looking at me with close attention.

“Is it gone?” I ask, rubbing my chin once again.

He just shakes his head and mumbles a clear “Nope” as he shrugs a little bit.

I groan loudly and very annoyed. I grabbed part of the fabric of my lended dress, wiped a little bit with it under my chin and then turned to him “What about now?” I ask now, turning my face to the sides just a little bit almost like if I was modeling it.

He chuckles, but still, he shakes his head no. “Uh Uh” he says, gives me one deep sigh and says “Here, let me”

I don’t see that coming at all, I don’t know if it is because of the alcohol in my system or because of my current numb state or maybe because this is just madness, but I don’t see this coming.

The moment his hand falls on the center on my chin, the moment there is some familiar but yet weird sensation coming to me, because he lets his lips find his way to mine and he is kissing me. Deep and slow, he is kissing me. Mayday.

Holy shit, Michael’s friend is kissing me. Holy crap I am kissing a celebrity. What the hell.

I follow his lead though, because even when I am totally expecting him to sooner realize what he’s doing and snap out of it, he doesn’t, he just keeps kissing me and takes it even farther, I just can’t seem to get out of my shock.

I am so amazed by this that I can barely process any kind of words that can come off my mouth. That is just why the second his lips take a bit of distance from mine, I am taking a big breathe in and forcing myself to woman up, because I am the first one to say something after this happened.

“Your room or mine?” It’s all I can get out of my lips.

Again, I expect him to just realize he is hooking up with the wrong person and leave me, but instead, he looks into my eyes and gives me a drunk smile. He had others plans now.

“Mine” he says in a pure and raspy voice and with that, he just leans forward and attacks my lips with a hungry and needy kiss. Oddly enough I was here for it and did absolutely nothing to stop him. I was enjoying it.

There is no other way to put it, really, but he had sex, we had a lot of sex and I am almost completely sure it is the best sex I have had in my whole life. I might have been drunk and not in my five senses, but I sure know this was just the best thing that could have happen to my night, not only it was unexpected, but it was good, just the right thing I wanted to have and make me forget about the world. That’s the word, it made forget, because in that hour and a half of pure passion, the only thing that existed in the room was him and I. Nothing else.

Kiss after kiss, Touch after touch and a couple of orgasm later, I never really noticed when I fell asleep on that stranger’s bed, the only thing that I last remembered were his lips on my neck and his sensual voice whispering things that made me wish for more. It was such a good night.

It feels like time passed in just a snap, because right after that everything was just like a black curtain that flash forwarded me to this moment, the second I was waking up from my deep sleep, probably triggered by the small bits of light leaking through the curtain and the smell of something burning in the room.

He was sitting right beside of me at the side of the bed, there’s a cigarette on his hand and smoke coming out of his lips, his face had no expression, his eyes are lost, staring at nothing but I could see there is a million things going through his mind, neither of them good things.

I stir on the bed, unintentionally making myself noticeable, I was naked under the sheets and there was some sudden looseness going through every muscle of my body, I was feeling like myself but better, and totally starting to come through my hungover.

I notice he notices I am awake, but he chooses to not pay any kind of attention to me and lets me wake up at my pace. I sit on the bed, I was totally about to say something but he doesn’t let me, his voice comes at the same time as mine and they collide, with the slight difference that, I shut and he doesn’t.

“I think you should go” It’s what he says, turning just a little so I know he is talking to me and then goes back to ignore me, just like he did at the start of the night.

I wish I could fight that or try to make this any different, but I can’t because I can feel I am not wanted here, he wanted to be alone and not have any sort of company beside him. This was just sex and nothing else, it meant nothing. He didn’t need to say it out loud in order for me to understand, I am just a stranger in his bed and I am nothing. We are nothing.

Just like that, I move over from his bed and make myself be gone. No more words or discussions, I just gathered all my stuff and removed myself from that place, after all, we were nothing but strangers, after this, I could only get out of that place and go back to my pitiful life and on his side, he could go back to his glamorous life and fight for his own relationship, if there was even one at this point. I wish I was stronger with this kind of stuff, because even when I went into this knowing this meant absolutely nothing, there was still some emptiness in my soul that had the need for something else, just… something.

But who am I kidding, anyways?. I am and always will be, nothing.

#ashton irwin imagines #michael clifford imagines #broken codes #luke hemmings imagines #calum hood imagines #5sos imagines #5sos fanfic #5sos fanfiction #5sos #5 seconds of summer preferences #5 seconds of summer imagines #5sos blurbs #5sos blurb #5sos smut #5sos scenarios

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checanty · 6 years ago

Note

Hey there!Not to be too corny or over the top, but you are like my favorite contemporary artist and your work is so very inspiring to me! You probably get this question a lot, but are there any tips or things you would tell someone who is currently early in their artistic career(and facing graduating art school soon)? Anything you wish you had heard or been told? Additionally~what's your favorite ghost story? Have you stumbled across any interesting myths or fairytales lately? Thanks! Peace out~

Oh my, you’re being too kind!! You know, the thing with artists just starting out is that there’s no real blanket advice to give as everybody’s in a different situation with different ambitions, personalities and so on. Like there’s some advice good for one person which might devastate another. So my first piece of advice is to take all advice with a grain of salt. Do you feel it applies to you? If it does, great! If it doesn’t, well it’s for somebody else. Don’t fret about people claiming you have to do/be one thing or another to be successful as an artist. (Apart from ‘Don’t be a dick’ which is always helpful.)The second piece of advice is to find your community! Find the places on the internet (or locally if there are any) where the people who are in your situation or are doing the job you want to do hang out. Find the places designed to help you out. (You already know @dearartdirector, right?)Nowadays that’s mostly Facebook groups, some of them secret, so maybe you’ll have to ask somebody if they know a place. There’s a bunch of stuff for children’s book illustrators (also on Twitter!), but there’s e.g. a group especially for female (and non-binary & transgender) illustrators working in the fantasy genre. It’s an amazingly helpful even to read what everybody else deals with, pros and beginners alike and a safe place to ask questions and find support. I’m also in a group for German illustrators which is good for keeping up with changes in laws or the postal system (I KNOW, boring but important and confusing!). Third piece of advice: Be prepared for the paperwork. Seriously, there’s going to be way too much paperwork. I’m sorry. One of my art school teachers told me the hard thing is to find the clients and you can always figure out the paperwork later and I don’t agree. Figure out the paperwork. Get help to figure out the paperwork. But maybe I’m just very easily stressed out about this stuff.Fourth piece of advice: Try everything once and feel free to fail, quit and dislike. I don’t need to tell you that being and artist/illustrator isn’t a particular secure or straight forward path. You can only find yours if you figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. Don’t limit yourself to an idea of what you want to be doing. Chances are you don’t even quite know everything out there. Chances are you might not even like the realities of your dream job. E.g. I’ve come to the realization that I’m a good commercial artist but would make a shitty fine artist. I love freelance illustration but dislike the whole ‘artist as an entrepreneur’ thing. I don’t like Patreon. Streaming is bad for me and my process. Exhibiting in galleries is a waste of time for me. But I had to try that stuff out first, didn’t I? There are artists doing work in a similar vein as me who are successful doing just those things, but they are different people with different paths. Number five: Don’t write e-mails or make decisions when you feel super emotional.

Number six: Get all the sleep you need and take care of yourself. I don’t have to say that ‘making it’ (whatever that means) as an artist requires much hard work and discipline and so on. But. Your hard work is much better spent when your brain is actually capable of functioning. Spending less hours doing good work is better than grinding for days feeling listless and distracted, no? Think long term. I know there’s somewhat of an expectation to have everything now and be young and successful and so on. But. No use being young and successful if you’re burnt out and unhappy. Your job isn’t you, art isn’t everything and the important part is that you’re okay. Take time to change and grow as a person. You know, all that stuff. I’m sure I’ll remember some seventh piece of advise which is of utmost important as soon as I post this.I mean there are also the classics: Make good work and show it to the right people. (It’s true! It’s this easy! Seriously, though. It’s good advice. I like it because sometimes the mind gets messy and you see other folks do great things and do shiny projects and such and then it’s nice to remember this and just keep your head down and do the work.)The whole ‘Finished, not perfect’ thing. It is also true. Don’t be effing precious with your work. You’re going to make a lot of it. Some will suck, some will be great. Some will just do the job and that’s fine. I mean, you should try for great, but realize it probably won’t happen. Most people won’t be as critical with your work as you are.Now I’m done, I think.Oh yes, ghost story. I don’t really read many of those. You’ll find I’m actually consuming very little horror related media. I have a favourite ghost story movie though, which is ‘The Devil’s Backbone’ (good old GDT!).I have no interesting folklore for you either! I recently went through an Arthurian Legends phase, mostly because it’s so fascinating how the whole thing is basically fanfiction of fanfiction and there might actually never have been canon. (At least non that is reliably preserved) So everything is kind of valid. (And it’s interesting to see when different characters and aspects started to pop up and how they changed and so on!)I hope that helps!

#Ask

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swanqiu · 5 years ago

Text

rift.

----a parallel dimension travel, slow burn, gnawing-at-my-mind-plot-bunny appreciation gift for @fallenmulciber

the first time she finds herself in his universe, she tells him that she’ll be out of his hair as soon as she figures out how to leave, promise.

...so the second time, now, that she’s ended up back in his world, he realizes that maybe her promises aren’t worth very much.

(even so, he lets himself believe her this next time.)

It’s a Friday night when it first happens.

To Mulciber, Friday nights are for smoke-filled bars and throat burns by firewhiskey and just the occasional hope-- when he’s had enough to drink-- that somebody gets shitfaced enough to start a fight with him. He thrives on the taste of blood in his mouth, on the cracking of bone beneath his fist.

Friday nights are for brooding and boozing.

Friday nights are most certainly not for confused, wide-eyed babes and twenty fucking questions. (Not enough weekends exist in the year, as it stands, for him to get his fill of anarchy, of evenings where he can just let himself be.)

So when the girl with the long, dark hair and the lips-that-frown-too-much comes out of nowhere and demands answers about where she is (something about not being where she’s supposed to be), single-handedly throwing all of his Friday night plans into oblivion? A sure warning sign to stay the fuck away, if he’s ever seen one.

He doesn’t run into her again after that night, and that’s fine, he thinks, because the less mind-dizzying and intrusive women he has around to fuck up his lifelong pursuits of misery, the better. Mulciber knows he should stay away.

—

The trouble is, she’s the one who keeps coming back.

—

The first time she finds herself in his universe, she tells him that she’ll be out of his hair as soon as she figures out how to leave, promise.

He believes her. With a smart girl like her-- probably always good to her word, undoubtedly gifted in the way that all swots are-- he doesn’t doubt that she’ll be gone before he can even save to memory the surprising number of faint freckles dotting the bridge of her nose.

—

...so the second time, now, that she’s ended up back in his world, he realizes that maybe her promises aren’t worth very much.

—

Her eyes, when they focus, are dark and wide and clouded with what Mulciber immediately recognizes to be fear. His grin stretches, gleams, almost tauntingly.

“Good morning. Never took you for the breaking-into-strangers’-houses sort of girl.”

She scrambles to situate herself into a sitting position, and her gaze darts around the room, taking in her not at all familiar surroundings as Mulciber straightens to his full height. “Where-- but I was back already-- how am I--”

Spluttering is, unquestionably, not a look that suits her.

Mulciber shrugs and grabs his leather jacket from the coat rack. “I don’t know why you’re here, doll,” he remarks, standing in the doorway to look at her, “or how you even got in.” He eyes his still-bolted padlock and frowns. “But you really meant what you said last time, huh? About being... not where you’re supposed to be.”

He watches her close her eyes; watches her inhale, exhale, repeat, before she leans over and holds her head in her hands.

“I’m... I’ll be out of here soon,” she mutters determinedly to the floor, her words still carrying the last fleeting bits of sleep. “I just... I just have to figure out what happened, and I’ll be gone for good.”

—

Even so, he lets himself believe her this next time.

—

She-- Cho, he commits to memory; her name is Cho-- finds a way back to where she’s supposed to be, soon and sure enough. Finding one’s way out of a parallel universe is, apparently, quite easy to do. Something about a precisely timed complex spell, a modified Portkey, and a sure determination to not be here.

(No offense, she’d added quickly with a tight and barely-meant smile, at the far end of his couch, with her knees drawn up to her chest.

None taken, he’d replied with a shrug, from the other end, with his feet crossed at the ankles and propped up on his coffee table.)

Anyway, once more left to his own, he goes out for a drink that night; some shitfaced guy does end up picking a fight with him, and Mulciber wins easily-- of course he does; he always wins-- but he only fights out of defense this time, and not because he particularly enjoys it. Over the last few weeks, he’s started finding routine and fistfights and predictability boring. He's started craving something different. Starts craving a challenge, kind of like puzzles or the Daily Prophet’s weekly riddle or some shit. Or like an alternate universe’s sad-eyed woman who really shouldn’t even be possible, whom he still can’t be fully convinced even exists, but she does, and Mulciber’s already worked his brain ten times over trying to understand where she even fits into all of this.

He finds himself requesting a butterbeer at the end of his tab, after he’s cleaned up, and he grimaces, first, at how predictably cloying it is. He didn’t think she’d be the type of girl to like shit this sweet.

But he can’t deny, though, the soothing warmth that lingers in the back of his throat and to his core, even hours after, when he’s wide awake. When his bandaged knuckles throb from their bruises, and the wall by his bed radiates a comforting coolness, and he realizes, as he turns onto his back and stares, that his thoughts haven’t been in the habit of making space for anyone other than himself in a long time.

His white ceiling is the perfect canvas for projecting thoughts of a face that knows how to turn pink all too quickly.

—

Twelve days later, Mulciber wakes up to a fervent pounding on his front door, and that something warm takes residence in his chest, in his stomach, in the tips of his fingers, when he peers through the peephole and sees that look of anxiously knitted brows and pursed lips that he’s come to recognize well.

—

"I think I know,” Cho prefaces, one Sunday down the road-- her second visit in a month and her sixth one overall.

She has this theory that she rifts-- rifts; that’s what she calls it, like it’s fucking diagnosed-- because she’s upset. “I show up here when I’m more, well, sad back in my world, is the thing. Easiest way to put it.”

He stares at her. Frowns. “So, what, I’m your therapist or something?”

Cho huffs, obviously distressed. “No, no; I mean, I don’t know why here of all places, or you of all people, or why this even happens.” She frowns back. “I was just pointing out the common thread between all of my unexpected visits so far.”

So she has stuff to figure out in her life. She’s not special; so does he.

“And what?” Mulciber asks, running a hand through his hair. “What’s stopping you from casting a spell, making a potion, ending up back home?”

Like the first few times. Like it’s always that simple.

The crease between her brows returns. “Sometimes I manage to get back on my own. Sometimes it just happens, just as suddenly as me getting here. But no matter how I end up going back,” she stresses, “it’s not permanent. I always end up back here, is the other thing. I thought it would stop after a while, but it’s... it’s just kept happening, and it doesn’t make for functioning in my real life any easier with everything going on--”

Cho has a tendency to ramble. It’s something he’s noticed with being her occasional host.

Mulciber cuts her off. “Sorry this isn’t your real life,” he reiterates, not quite sure where this sting in his chest comes from, at those delicate words, “but if you’re here for life advice? For me to somehow make whatever problems you have over there not so difficult?” He scoffs. Uncrosses his ankles. “I’m not that guy.”

She blinks, not having expected his sudden retort, and a blooming pink-- a trademark of hers-- rises to her cheeks. “I never asked you to be,” she finally says, slowly. “I never wanted any of this. I never chose to end up in your world, in case you’ve forgotten.”

Right. His world.

It’s a little unfair, he thinks, that she makes it sound as if he wants this any more than she does. He hasn’t asked for this either; he doesn’t want to play Healer to a girl who comes along every blue moon in search of some pick-me-up for when her life goes to shit.

He didn’t choose her to come along and fuck up what had been an otherwise passable everyday life, a life where he hadn’t had to concern himself with thinking about stupid stuff-- like if she might hate him more if she knew about his past, or if he should invest in a spare set of house keys for when parallel dimension women stay over.

Both of them opt for silence that their respective pride doesn’t dare break first, but he sees the tense setting of her jaw and the look in her eye; it’s not hurt. Or at least, he doesn’t think it’s hurt. No way-- Cho Chang doesn’t reveal her cards so easily, and especially not where he’s concerned.

This isn’t real to her, after all.

(And he still doesn’t know why that works him up more than it should.)

She gives up trying to explain her theory-- rifting, where the fuck does she come up with this shit-- and Mulciber stares at her for a bit, wondering if she might give a retort or something, to let him know what she’s thinking. Remind him again that she certainly doesn’t want this, doesn’t need him. But she doesn’t.

Bloody fine, then.

He gets up and pulls on his leather jacket, stepping out for a bit to be by himself. He’s good at doing that. He’s the fucking king of Lonely Men.

—

By the time he returns and calls out from the entryway, his flat remains silent.

Mulciber tries to smother the royal tendrils of what feels suspiciously like disappointment creeping into his cold, hard heart.

—

A month passes, and he figures she's finally done it.

She must have finally figured out how to keep her ass where it belongs.

Maybe he'd made her up this whole time, imagined her into existence on a particularly good (bad?) trip.

He comes home buzzed one night and thinks about how he shouldn't smoke right now, but he’s been good at keeping off and thinks he deserves it this one time, but he's been smoking the same strain and wants to change things up, so maybe he should try to pull a few strings with Avery first--

His thoughts quiet and he sobers up the moment he spots her sitting outside of his apartment complex.

—

“Look, it’s fine for you to take the bed from now on; I don't mind the sofa,” he calls out to her. “Unless,” he adds aloud with a smirk, “you want to share a space with me. I’m fine with close quarters.”

When she doesn’t reply, Mulciber frowns and pads down the hall, mentally kicking himself. “I’m just joking. But look, if you want to wash up, washroom's available,” he offers instead, reaching the living room.

He stands awkwardly in the doorway, one hand jammed into the pocket of his jeans and the other hand thumbing over his shoulder to the other end of the hallway.

Cho looks up at him, and the redness around her glistening eyes are enough of a hint. Immediately, he clams up.

Ezra Mulciber is not the comforting type.

“Oh,” she murmurs, voice thick, quickly moving to wipe away her tears with her sleeves. He almost doesn’t recognize the pursed-lip, steel-eyed woman from earlier. “Thanks,” she adds, rising to her feet, and as she walks by him she ducks her head, dark hair shadowing her face.

He’s not the comforting type, but he’s not completely insensitive.

“Whoa, uh, you good?” Mulciber inquires gruffly, reaching out to take hold of her shoulder. She bristles at his touch and turns toward him, visibly not good, but also caught off guard by his gesture. He retracts his hand and rubs the back of his neck. “If you... if you need to get it out of your system, whatever it is,” Mulciber continues lamely, hoping he at least looks sincere because his words are probably failing his expression of sympathy-- which he’s clearly not used to giving, ever, “uh... or if there’s anything I can do, just... just let me know, yeah?”

Cho blinks. The tears that had pooled at the bottom of her eyes glint as they fall, one after the other, to the floor.

His head hurts.

“And um... it’s okay if you wanna crash here whenever you end up here and need to wait to get back,” he continues rambling, suddenly hyper aware of how long she’s been staring at him. “Like, it’s no problem at all, but listen-- I don’t have any of that...” Mulciber motions broadly with his hand, toward her abdomen and pelvis area “... any of that time of month stuff if you'd ever need it, so...”

He trails off, not really sure what else to say (because, like, he really doesn’t have any of that stuff and wouldn’t know where to get it, anyway).

She blinks again, and he half expects her to just quietly nod or sigh or scoff, like she always does. Or just walk right past him, which also seems pretty on brand.

But here’s the thing-- she laughs. It’s not a full laugh, not like one that she would probably have if she were back in her other world and not stuck here, but it’s soft and unexpected and somewhat strangled, caught by the lump in her throat, and it makes Mulciber feel... good.

“Thank you,” Cho breathes as she winds down from her laugh, eyes still wet, and she offers a halfway smile. He doesn’t know what she’s thanking him for, but nevertheless, it makes him feel really good. He’ll take it.

—

She slips back into the living room after her shower, and when she settles into her seat on the couch, opposite end of Mulciber, he doesn't show his surprise. Just moves his legs some so that she has space to bring up her legs and stretch out and face him. Which, also surprisingly, she does.

Cho doesn't bring up any of what they exchanged last time (he hadn't expected her to), but she does comment on a new scar he has, and he grins, telling her all about one of the many idiots that tried to fight him. She tells him about one of her scars, from when she first started riding a broom, and he's taken by the way her eyes light up. (If he were his younger self, he might have been more drawn to her porcelain sadness. Might have wondered what it would take for her to break, and if he might be the one to do it. But given who he is now, and that small light he sees catching in her eyes? That’s what fucking spurs him to intoxication.)

She tells him about stuff from her past, and how all of that still weighs heavily on her, and how she has her confusions about where she’s going or what she feels. He tells her simply that he admittedly doesn’t know a lot about her, but what he does know is that she’s fierce and brilliant and has a lot to be proud about, and that any world would be better off having her.

She deflects by commenting on the smell of butterbeer on his breath, and he splutters, trying to fucking justify himself and how no, he hasn't gone soft, he just likes to change things up every once in a while, thanks, and she just smirks. It's infuriating. He counters that she probably still can't hold her firewhiskey.

He hesitates, but he tells her up front that she’s better off hanging around people who aren’t him; she just scoffs. Listens patiently and quietly when he tells her just a few of the many, many things that still haunt him. Cho unflinchingly considers all of this, takes it all in, and she still doesn’t leave.

By 4am, she's talking about new charms and potions she's working on, and he tells her she's a downright nerd, a fucking swot-- in the best way-- and she grins, blushing like crazy. His head still hurts.

He's never liked small spaces and being close to other people, but--

With her, he conveniently forgets his own rules.

It turns out they both fall asleep on his sofa, after hours of back-and-forth talking and rare glimpses into the other's past and friendly insults, and around 6am, Mulciber thinks he feels the weight next to him on the couch suddenly lessen, thinks the warmth of her head by his feet suddenly disappears, and when he stirs awake a few hours later, she’s gone.

And this time, when he finds his flat empty, Mulciber feels something different that springs up in the root of his chest; he doesn’t dare call it hope, because only chumps hope. Hope only leads to expectations that let him down, always.

He doesn’t hope that she comes back, but he, restless by nature and often prone to impulse, actually waits-- patiently on some days and maybe a little impatiently on others-- for her to come back (as if she has a say on whenever that happens, he scoffs to himself). But he doesn't just wait; he expects that she’ll be back, even, because broken people know broken people best.

—

A year passes.

Mulciber almost forgets what she looks like, and what she sounds like, and how she has a tendency to look troubled and questioning, even in sleep. But butterbeer still makes him think of bowed lips and an off-limits warmth, and doe eyes still cross his mind on the rare occasion.

At the end of the first few months of her longest absence yet, he thinks it’s great that she's stopped being so hung up in her feelings, really (that must be why she doesn’t rift anymore). And when several more months pass and he still isn’t blessed with her signature look of wary hesitation (always, with him), Mulciber thinks it’s fan-fucking-tastic that she’s got her shit sorted out.

He keeps busy with actually filling out his bookshelf and reading urban novels. Learns to cook (kind of) a very basic starter meal. Starts doing some small time vigilante-type stuff, like beating up punks who harass witches outside of the bar or casting semi-permanent graffiti figures on his evil landlord’s front door. He even starts keeping plants on his windowsill, a few succulents and prickly cacti, because he’s read they don’t require too much effort to maintain. An older witch he often meets on the street tells him that he reminds her of her nice nephew.

By the thirteenth month mark, he almost forgets about her.

Almost.

Because it’s an April evening when the weather throws the nastiest spring downpour in recent history, and he’s not very well dressed for it, is he, because the days leading up until had been solidly sunny and cloudless, so of course he hadn’t thought that he’d need to bring either a jacket or an umbrella today, but--

He’s shivering and soaked and miserable, as he catches himself seeking refuge under a flimsy shopfront canopy, and the owner behind the display window scowls at him and motions to the NO LOITERING sign in big, bold letters.

“I’m freezing my ass off here!” he shouts through the glass, droplets flinging from his beard as he rounds, and he’s about to motion something rude until a shadow covers him and his clothes suddenly start drying.

Mulciber peers up. Above him, a bright yellow umbrella replaces the dark red of the store’s canopy. To his right, a dark-haired woman with an arched brow and a tightly drawn raincoat gives him this look, pitying and somewhat entertained and just a bit smug, and then--

“Never took you for the purposefully-looking-to-contract-pneumonia sort of bloke.”

He tells himself that it’s the Hot-Air Charm she’s casting on his clothes that warms his insides, too.

—

She’s... different, this time around. The blunt ends of her hair just barely graze sharp collar bones. The lines around her mouth are less marked by uncertainty, less pronounced by perpetual frowns. They’re more faint. Her eyes hold that light he’d noticed before.

Once the rain becomes little more than a manageable drizzle, they set off down the street, quietly hunched beneath the shelter of her umbrella. That is, until Mulciber’s had enough of her damn goblin height and wordlessly plucks the handle from her grip, raising her umbrella higher above the both of them so that he doesn’t have to slouch to keep dry.

(He happens to forget that he has magic, of all things, that would allow him to fashion a cover of his own.)

Cho turns to him in surprise, and he focuses in front of him, on the droplets dripping steadily from the point of the umbrella’s frame. Her now-empty hands drop to her sides, and she’s first to speak since the shopfront.

“Been a while, hasn’t it?”

Footsteps on wet cement are louder than he'd realized.

He bows his head, a curt nod, free hand shoved into the pocket of his jeans. It’s not like he’s been keeping track. But he knows he’s had quite a few introspective evenings with a glass of firewhiskey since he’d last seen her, had quite a few changes to his life since then. He’s picked up a habit of falling asleep in his living room, in her absence.

No correlation, though, he tells himself. Mulciber screws up his face and pretends to think about her icebreaker. “Not long enough, if you ask me--” he finally says, breaking into a grin when he hears her scoff at his audacity “--but, if you’d missed me, you could have just said so.”

She doesn’t say anything-- just huffs, bites the inside of her cheek, and lightly punches his arm.

He dodges-- or tries to, anyway-- and his laugh, in return, is deep and endearing and new.

—

This time, her stay surpasses the usual day.

In fact, she’s here for a whole week before he finally brings it up.

Cho sets down the book she’d found on his desk and shrugs, tucking long bangs behind her ear. “I... found my own way back this time,” she admits, almost casually, but he sees the tips of her ears tinge red.

“So, what, did you run out of charming otherworldly men to bother?”

He’s got his arms crossed at one end of the couch and she’s at the other end with her knees drawn up, like good old times. But this time, she’s curled up less from hesitation or fear and more from a shyness he hasn't recognized on her before.

Cho rolls her eyes and fights a smile, resting her head on the curve of the sofa backs. “I wasn’t aware I’d met any charming men on any of my universe travels.”

Mulciber grins into his drink, flirting with the rim of his glass. “Might be time you get your vision checked, doll. There’s one right in front of you.”

Another scoff. A shake of her head. And then an exhale he interprets as contentment.

He finally clears his throat again, after a moment. Sets down his glass. “But shouldn’t you be getting back to your... you know... your real life?”

Cho blinks. Lifts her head. Gives him that fucking smile, the one that squeezes his chest a little too tightly. “This... this is real.”

She says it without question, with a confident sureness that can’t be restrained by the softness of her answer. She looks at him and it sort of stuns him, because she looks determined. Looks decided. She’s blushing.

"I want this, Ezra. To stay, that is.”

Oh.

His turn to blink.

Oh.

Fucking ohhh.

He can’t remember the last time he was anyone’s choice or even a considerable option. He can’t even remember the last time anyone looked at him like he’s not scum. Like he isn’t such a bad guy with a shitty past he hasn’t completely gotten over.

Cho Chang knows this, and still, she chooses this. Here. Him.

“You know... after my last visit, that space you gave me to just... process... I learned to control how to come and go.”

“Rifting, you mean?”

She beams at his use of her word.

Cho Chang looks at him like he’s complex and interesting and valuable. She looks at him like he’s worth a damn, like he’s Quidditch or the lake from her childhood or how it feels to fly on the exhilarating pull of a broomstick. Like he’s the successful golden glow from a new spell she’s made or the warmth of butterbeer on a cold day or the familiar comfort of a couch that feels the way home should feel.

A year ago, she might have been doubtful of him, and suspecting, and sad-eyed, and still looking for the next available way out. But here she is, rendering him wordless, because she happily chooses to stay here. He didn’t even need an Imperio.

She looks at him and she tilts her head, still smiling, waiting--

When Mulciber grins in return and pulls her in, breathing in her sweet citrus smell, taking in her laughter and shaky exhales and undeniable softness in his arms, he can’t help but think that she fits there, in the middle of his living room.

In his world.

#ooc: wellll here we are!! finally got to a point of being happy with what i'd written and cut down and rewritten to finally share with you #thank you for the 6+ years of entertainment you keep giving me (and cho) through ezra :')#this fic was born out of me revisiting old threads and being sad that we never got to play them out until the end so. here are my feelings.#this started off pretty short and just... got longer and longer. i am so fascinated by mulciber and have so many feelings about him wow!!#hope that this is an entertaining read for you whenever you next pop back on here :)#i am very moved by and invested in these two!!! miss you!#also probably have enough material left for another drabble (fic??) soooo let us seeee #fallenmulciber

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hcpefulmarshmallow · 6 years ago

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V3 Spoilers under cut. Just some stuff that has been on my mind since I played the game.

Okay, so I haven’t played it as much as the first two, and I really do adore Shuichi as a character. Let me get those two things out first because I don’t want any angry people in my inbox. This isn’t to complain about Shuichi, or that V3 took things in a different direction than the first two games. The third installment in any franchise has a tough job, balancing fan expectations and keeping the spirit of the story alive enough to please people who have been there since the beginning; while also being new and exciting enough as to not feel stale, and maybe even draw in a whole new crowd. I get that. Changing up a series is not, by default, a bad thing, and I don’t want to imply that DR should have stuck with the same old formula. I’m just saying that there was one glaring misuse of the characters that lowkey sucked. And for the purposes of not writing a whole novel, I’ll probably gloss over some big, important stuff in the interests of streamlining. Please don’t be mad. This is just the impression that the game gave me.

(And yeah, I’m talking like UDG didn’t exist. I still haven’t finished that game to be honest. It’s enjoyable in it’s own merits, and I’m loving the familiar faces and all, but at times it just doesn’t feel like Danganronpa. Yeah, I said it. Maybe that’s my own problem, though - the third-person adventure/horror aspect isn’t my style usually, unless the game is something else. But I digress.)

So, onto our main point, I’m gonna come out and say it: Shuichi was a poor choice for a protagonist.

Let’s rewind for a minute to the first two games, shall we? Each cast was likable in their own ways, the different environments gave each story it’s own atmosphere while still retaining that unmistakable Danganronpa feeling. There were things we could rely on as we transitioned from one game to the other, and things we could be surprised by. One thing about DR is that it has the same trio over and over, right up until this game, where the roles are inexplicably changed. (And again, changing things up: not automatically invalid. But this was a large part of the soul of Danganronpa: the ability to feel like your ordinary self has become a part of this world of Ultimates, and the battle between hope and despair. It’s designed to make you a part of the game so you really feel the highs and lows and every little consequence; and nowhere is it as blatant as in this game, see the final trial. That’s why this change was so bizarre.)

In the first game, it was Makoto, Kyoko and Byakuya. In the second, it was Hajime, Chiaki and Nagito. Respectively, their roles were such:

Your protagonist and POV character. They were relatable in many ways: feeling out of place in the presence of all this talent to which they felt they couldn’t compare, somewhat naive, always wanting to believe the best of others, never particularly keen to put anyone to death. They weren’t unintelligent by any means, but their self-doubt and desire to keep the group as a group would hold them back from difficult deductions. This would show in different degrees and in different ways in the characters, but it was always very much there. Much like the player: we didn’t want to put our faves to death, but we didn’t have a choice. For the most part, it was the protagonist who kept that human element to an otherwise fantastical environment, full of people who were only borderline believable. They kept the story grounded, presenting it through their respective viewpoints. The game doesn’t have to justify why it has this almost fictional quality to it’s story and characters, because Makoto and Hajime have both observed that it’s almost not real. But then they get close to the other characters and form attachments, and truly become a part of events themselves, and it all feels very real. It’s through this character that our ordinary selves can truly experience a world like the one in Danganronpa.

Next, you have the two sidekicks, performing polarizing roles. All very intelligent, often figuring out the case before our protagonist. You have Kyoko and Chiaki: dropping hints, assisting us along the way, serving as a moral compass of sorts. When we feel lost or confused in the class trial, it’s this character who usually helps us find our way to the truth. And you have Byakuya and Nagito, who exist to misdirect us. Forcing us to strive to be better; rather than relying on the work others do. (And yeah, I know all these characters are deeper than that -- I’m just talking about their basic function in relation to the protagonist). This allows the POV character, and by extension us, to navigate the class trials and the moral dilemma they present, not by providing answers, but by providing growth. By the end, out protagonists have gone from feeling overwhelmed and uncertain, to being able to stand up against the mastermind, even if we’ve lost our sidekicks by that point.

Now, let’s look at V3′s golden trio. I’ve seen some debate around this but, in terms of this particular dynamic, we’ve got: Kaede, Shuichi and Kokichi. Or at least, that’s who we should have.

Kokichi is the obvious choice for an antagonistic character who forces us to up our anti a little bit. He’s constantly throwing us for a loop, constantly making things harder, but never sabotaging us to the point where the trial becomes literally impossible. Love him or hate him, he is a very good, complex character with exceptional narrative utility. I don’t think I need to go into depth with this one, because I don’t think anyone would disagree that this is his role. So moving on.

As for Shuichi, he does very much fit the description I gave above of the general layout of a Danganronpa protag: that he’s somewhat self-doubting, overwhelmed at the scope of the people he’s been put amongst, gets along with the others for the most part, doesn’t want to doubt his friends, and goes through extraordinary character growth. However, there are a few issues he has that the others do not. For starters: most of his relevant character growth in terms of what Hajime and Makoto went through happens in the first chapter. He learns from Kaede’s death to trust his own deductions and believe in his talent. He still has a lot of self-doubt, and is still very relatable, but from there, most of his story revolves around trusting others and working as a team, rather than his internal conflicts. That seems more in line with Kyoko’s arc of opening up to Makoto and letting the others in on what she learns rather than flying solo all the time; and of Chiaki’s arc of finally being able to tell Hajime the truth of who she is, and wanting to bring everyone together. Again, I’m kind of strawmanning the character here; but even if I’m dead wrong about his motivations (it sucks not being able to screenshot, you forget so much), there’s one more major flaw. His talent.

Through the class trials, our POV character goes in with about as much certainty as we have. And we, alongside them, uncover the truth of the case. We’re essentially experiencing the class trial through their eyes, experiencing being the key word here. Shuichi, however, is the smartest and most capable detective in the room, what with being the Ultimate Detective and all. The feeling I got from him wasn’t that I was solving the mystery through him, but rather that he would have all the answers at least a split-second before me, then the game just kind of waits for me to catch up. There was a lot more “I knew it!” and “As I thought!” kind of going on there, rather than “Aha! The answer can only be __!”

Furthermore, Shuichi isn’t terribly proactive. Which is fine, to an extent. The previous POV characters would kind of get thrust into situations too; but once they were there, they were an active part of events. Hajime didn’t want to go feed Nagito, but in doing so, became an active part of what was going on with his story, and learned early on about his manipulation of Mahiru. Makoto didn’t go out investigating Mukuro on his own, but once Kyoko told him about her, he used that information to his advantage, particularly in the Trials. And there were events for which they were active catalysts, too. Not too boring, but not pulling a lot of major strings, either: giving the player a front row seat to the action, letting something amazing play out for their ordinary selves to enjoy, but also making them feel like their actions matter. For Shuichi, he’s dragged into everything he’s involved in, and even then, he’s either just kind of there, present and accounted for while stuff happens; or he’s off on his own, even if someone else is physically present. For instance, when he and Kaito are investigating, Kaito might be there, but Shuichi is doing all the leg work, really. Not saying Kaito is useless, just...saying. And this is totally fine, and consistent with his character. He’s not very social until he gets to know someone well, and he’s definitely more intellectual and emotional than he is a physical being. But again, your protagonist needs to toe that line between being passive enough that stuff can still happen around them, and active enough that the player can engage with that stuff. And again: Shuichi more fits the mold of someone like Chiaki, who is often off on her own, and only intervenes in situations when she absolutely must; or Kyoko, who is also off on her own a lot, and isn’t sociable at all. In terms of free time events and stuff, I have no trouble believing Makoto or Hajime would make an effort to, out-of-the-blue, find and learn more about a fellow classmate; but Shuichi? Not so much. Again: he’s just not a person who is comfortable with other people. Which is all fine and relatable and good for him as a character. But as a POV? Sure he gets close with his little workout gang, but only because Kaito drags him along. Even Kaede spends most of the first chapter just pulling him around everywhere. After a while, all this adds up and makes you feel detached from events: less like you’re playing a game, and more like you’re watching a movie.

So we’ve established that, as far as the game goes, Shuichi is a good character but makes a better sidekick archetype than a POV protagonist. So what’s the difference between him and Kaede that makes her a great, Danganronpa-esque protag?

Well...the opposite of everything I’ve said.

For starters, her talent. Thus far, our protagonists’ talents have been generally the least impressive of the group. (Okay, yeah, Hajime was eventually the Ultimate Everything, but we only find that out at the end. He spent all game being the Ultimate Nothing, and therefore had all his relevant character growth before that. By this point, we already experienced the events of the game through him, and have already grown accustomed to the very human, very fallible, Hajime. Tell me he’s Izuru, I’m just as easily gonna see the guy who passed out on the beach but over time became a badass.) Ultimate Pianist is kind of a niche talent, but I don’t think that makes it isolating. For one, like her predecessors, her talent is utterly useless in a trial setting. Unless there were some specific circumstances, knowing how to play piano will not help her find a killer. (Technically Makoto’s luck could have been useful, but I think it’s made pretty clear he and his class passed those trials through hard work, not luck). The most important thing for a protagonist has to be their ability to be relatable by being brave and true and all that Good Stuff, not to be born exceptional. How are you going to pander to a market who is trying to escape their dull lives if all they have to escape to are people who are fundamentally better than them in ways they could never relate to? Anyway can be brave, not anyone can be Sherlock.

Because Kaede’s character was built mostly around her traits and not her talent, she’s still easily relatable. She, like us, wants the best for her fellow characters. She’s moralistic, kind, and defiant of the circumstance she’s been thrust into, all things we can aspire to. She’s likeable, but not infallible or unbelievable. She can be bossy at times, her own personal sense of justice perhaps her biggest downfall. This idea of “good/hope MUST triumph over evil/despair” which has been pushed by the game itself, is used as it’s newest protagonist’s flaw, and is a viewpoint that will ultimately be subverted in the final trial.

Kaede is, overall, more sociable and active. I buy that she spends her free time getting to know other people. She doesn’t always think with her head, and she is the type to stumble into situations by accident, meaning she’s a much more viable candidate to be just lucky enough to wind up in wacky hijinks, and just active enough to really become a part of them. Also, I’m gonna just mention the elephant in the room real quick: it sucks that the only female protagonist out of the main games had to be killed off. I liked the idea of a female protag.

Okay, I know I said it was a bummer that Shuichi so quickly moved past doubting himself and his own talent much too quickly, especially when the protags we’re used to take most of the game to do that sort of thing. Kaede doesn’t really have much self-doubt, to be honest. She doesn’t struggle with the morality of the situation she’s in: instead, her solution is simplistic and naive: “We just won’t kill. Easy.” This is a polar opposite of our protagonists, but not invalid. Remember: not all changes are bad, and this is the third installment. We expect some shakeups to the formula.

This actually could’ve been used really well, if Kaede was given more time. After her idea of “we just won’t play!!1!” is crushed and she’s forced to endure an entire class trial and vote for someone to be executed, this would’ve shattered (or at least, damaged) her pure and perfect world view. She would be forced to look inward, and question her frankly childish sense of right and wrong, which ties in so much better with the eventual themes of the final trial. Rather than seeing only good and evil, she would be forced to confront the moral grey that exists within her, and within all situations. And she would have to do so without losing what makes her fundamentally Kaede - her optimism, her strength, and her trust in others. I’ve seen this done well rarely, but most notably in characters like Penelope Garcia. I truly feel like Danganronpa could’ve pulled this off.

“But Jenny! There’s a problem!! You said that it was after the first trial that Shuichi had the development to grow into a great Chiaki/Kyoko archetype, but that only happens through the death of Kaede!!! If she survived, he would still be hiding in her shadow!!”

I’ve thought of that too. So say, instead, Kaede just comes really close to being killed in the trial. Say, the vote is split 50-50 between her and the real killer. Shuichi is the only one with the key information to sway the final voter/s, but he knows in doing so, he will condemn someone to death. He can do so and save Kaede, or close his eyes and leave it up to chance. In the end, he trusts his talent and uses what he knows to shed light on the truth. He has to come to terms with condemning someone, but he knows that he also saved an innocent person. Once again tying in so well with the final theme of how good and evil and right and wrong aren’t always distinguishable; and giving Shuichi a great character development moment that’s more than just “my girlfriend is dead so now I can grow, I’m so glad the franchise has never played this angle before or it would feel tired and kind of sexist :(”; and giving Kaede a chance to view first-hand that you can be a good person, and walk a grey line. I thought of that in two seconds. Just saying.

But anyway, that’s just one long-ass thought from someone who has played this game one and a half times. I want to play it again, and maybe I’ll change my own mind, who knows. But while I’m still of this mindset, I wanted it out there.

#meta;#v3 spoilers #( that took entirely too long to write and I can't be bothered proofreading again so..have it )

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vitusbachhausen · 6 years ago

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FRAGMENTS OF A STREET: Mitropoleos, Thessaloniki

The street Mitropoleos is situated in the second row to the sea. Walking one street in Thessaloniki (most of them run parallel to the sea) is like following one line of thought, one argument. Mitropoleos is just in between two of the arterial roads of the city, Leoforos Nikis and Tsimiski. Now, still following that logic, those two arguments are drawn rather ostentatiously. The former, eased by the sea’s breeze, with its cafés and bars carelessly looking out into the pretty sight that is the Mediterranean Sea. The latter, flooding countless cars from one side of the city to the other, and countless consumers from one franchise store to the next. However, walking on Mitropoleos is like reading between those broad lines of the argument that describe the city. And isn’t it here, between the lines, where true character is to be found?

If you walk here and you get the timing just right, you might find an unexpected companion: the municipal garbage disposal. Its route leads all the way over Mitropoleos, and while I’m wandering the street contemplatively, next to me, the bin men rummage their way through the waste of this street. In this city, even a dirty business like this one shouldn’t be seen as merely the civilised fulfilment of a functional purpose. No, in Thessaloniki the bin men are aestheticised into litter whisperers: “Many stories, one heart”, claims the logo on the tarnished lorry. Between the rubbish they hear the city’s truth voicing itself. And I listened: Strolling on, following their lead through the unsorted waste.

You know that cliché of the old mediterranean men sitting on benches letting life pass in front of them? It’s true, on Mitropoleos, for example. One of them might be talking of the time when they were classmates and they stole the candy from their teacher, the other one might be bragging about the time when he was a captain and he had a mistress in each port, and the last one might not even pay attention because he’s bored of the same old stories. Whatever they might be doing on this bench, the city gives them a space to do so. In Thessaloniki, you’ll always find the time and space to stop and take a break from the directedness of our everyday lives. You step aside, you sit down, stagnating. Most of the times, then you get up and you still have no idea, as it probably is the case with those three philosophers. But sometimes, out of this purposeless daydreaming, you get up and you’ve understood it all. There is another old Greek man who liked to sit down and contemplate, and they even honoured him with a symbolic statue, caught in the act, sitting, of course, here on Aristotle Square.

The stray dogs, on the contrary, don’t need these readymade spaces to do whatever they’re doing. One reason might be that, unlike those old gentlemen and their philosophical soulmate dogs are just not the types for contemplating around very much, I guess. Especially, on Mitropoleos you should keep your eyes open. Because you might trip over a stray dog who has spontaneously decided to take a nap right in the middle of a pedestrian street. They only give a shit about the artificial rationalisation of public space, when they actually take a shit. That makes their life a whole lot easier. Take this dog for example. He’s just lying around aimlessly, relieving himself from all the intentionality of his daily dog life, consuming his present to the ultimate. Maybe he’s the Flaneur in his most primitive form. Having to wander around, sometimes confused, sometimes enlightened from what I perceive underway, always in between me and the other, I admire him for his strict absolutism. But that he will never know.

Walking on, I spot a mythological goddess living on the first floor of brutalist apartment block: Marilyn Monroe is alive and she lives on Mitropoleos! Greek Marilyn might also seem like an exploited, even further extrapolated caricature of its original idea, torn into pieces in this brutal process of cultural predation. But something seems different about the way Greeks turn such real-life figures into larger-than-life icons. Maybe it’s their historical and philosophical entrenchment in ancient myths, a mytho-logic, that explains reality on the grounds of transcendent idols. They don’t allow their idols to be corrupted by the cynicism of self-awareness and self-criticism, those deadly interpretative means that killed American Marilyn. Instead, they look for the purity in her, and they extract those pure ideals that need to be worshipped and kept alive. Maybe, that is why, in the end, Greek Marilyn survives. What stays from her, here on Mitropoleos, shielded from the burning sun, is simply the beauty of her white face and the sensuality of her larger-than-life red lips.

Thessaloniki really is obsessed with beauty. And one way to pronounce that, Thessalonikians know very well, is with fashion. Unlike on the high street, Tsimiski, you won’t find the usual suspects on Mitropoleos when it comes to fashion. The stores here usually know what they’re doing, being specialised on a certain kind of wear or a certain target group. And it is this boutique culture that is representative for the stylistic attitude of the whole city. But just like Mitropoleos itself, fashionability between genders seems to be a one-way street. In comparison to the finesse of the female fashion, it is clearly visible that the male sections are on the last level of every store here. Still, everybody pays a great deal of attention to looks: Men on the women’s and women on their own. Even the mannequins in the windows can’t help but being real Thessalonikian women – offering their naked necks to be bitten by the beautiful devil of pleasure.

But there’s a limit to this diabolic seduction. The orthodox church, until today, has a firm grip on Greek society. You don’t always see it in them at first sight, especially in Thessaloniki, where cafés, bars, clubs and music halls constantly tempt you to dare a sexy fling with the devil. But if you look closely, it’s there, somewhere in the back of their minds. Even if people lustfully immerse themselves in mundane and secularised pleasures, the sinful conscience is always there. Their cultural décolleté certainly is inviting and pleasant to look at, but it’s covered with the seemingly pious transparent of decency. Maybe that’s what makes Thessaloniki so sexy.

That’s what I was talking about. Look at those men, for instance, sitting in a row, like the judges of the popular Greek TV show Greece’s Next Top Model, waiting for the next candidate to present her beauty on the catwalk in front of them. But this is a less sexist establishment than it seems. Everybody coming here knows they have just entered the stage, and this goes for all genders. Especially here, in the picturesque area by the port it’s all about seeing and being seen. The young and beautiful come to cafés like Appallou to meet their friends for a traditional freddo cappuccino, to talk about nothing or everything. And by selecting places like this one to update each other on the newest gossip, you multiply your exposure many times over. It’s almost like Instagram in real life: Use the right hashtag and location – and you become more likeable.

The walk along Mitropoleos concludes on the other end of the city center, with a truly iconic Thessalonikian view. It’s the White Tower, a former fortification against foreign invaders. Today the White Tower works quite the opposite way: Invading tourists are welcomed into the museum that is now inside the White Tower. For the Thessalonians themselves the White Tower is not particularly an object of such interest. The connection to it is more emotional, for historic reasons perhaps: It acquired its name in 1912, when Thessaloniki was finally annexed from the Ottoman Empire. And as a symbol of this purification, they whitewashed the facade. If you ask me, they just did it because it makes for a better view in the background, while you’re slurping your iced coffee with pleasure, here, in the soft sun on Mitropoleos.

#Flaneur #Thessaloniki #Mitropoleos #Greece #streetphotography #Black and White

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riusugoi · 6 years ago

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Paragraphs on Conceptual Art By Sol Lewitt

The editor has written me that he is in favor of avoiding “the notion that the artist is a kind of ape that has to be explained by the civilized critic”. This should be good news to both artists and apes. With this assurance I hope to justify his confidence. To use a baseball metaphor (one artist wanted to hit the ball out of the park, another to stay loose at the plate and hit the ball where it was pitched), I am grateful for the opportunity to strike out for myself.

I will refer to the kind of art in which I am involved as conceptual art. In conceptual art the idea or concept is the most important aspect of the work. When an artist uses a conceptual form of art, it means that all of the planning and decisions are made beforehand and the execution is a perfunctory affair. The idea becomes a machine that makes the art. This kind of art is not theoretical or illustrative of theories; it is intuitive, it is involved with all types of mental processes and it is purposeless. It is usually free from the dependence on the skill of the artist as a craftsman. It is the objective of the artist who is concerned with conceptual art to make his work mentally interesting to the spectator, and therefore usually he would want it to become emotionally dry. There is no reason to suppose, however, that the conceptual artist is out to bore the viewer. It is only the expectation of an emotional kick, to which one conditioned to expressionist art is accustomed, that would deter the viewer from perceiving this art.

Conceptual art is not necessarily logical. The logic of a piece or series of pieces is a device that is used at times, only to be ruined. Logic may be used to camouflage the real intent of the artist, to lull the viewer into the belief that he understands the work, or to infer a paradoxical situation (such as logic vs. illogic). Some ideas are logical in conception and illogical perceptually. The ideas need not be complex. Most ideas that are successful are ludicrously simple. Successful ideas generally have the appearance of simplicity because they seem inevitable. In terms of ideas the artist is free even to surprise himself. Ideas are discovered by intuition. What the work of art looks like isn’t too important. It has to look like something if it has physical form. No matter what form it may finally have it must begin with an idea. It is the process of conception and realization with which the artist is concerned. Once given physical reality by the artist the work is open to the perception of all, including the artist. (I use the word perception to mean the apprehension of the sense data, the objective understanding of the idea, and simultaneously a subjective interpretation of both). The work of art can be perceived only after it is completed.

Art that is meant for the sensation of the eye primarily would be called perceptual rather than conceptual. This would include most optical, kinetic, light, and color art.

Since the function of conception and perception are contradictory (one pre-, the other post fact) the artist would mitigate his idea by applying subjective judgment to it. If the artist wishes to explore his idea thoroughly, then arbitrary or chance decisions would be kept to a minimum, while caprice, taste and others whimsies would be eliminated from the making of the art. The work does not necessarily have to be rejected if it does not look well. Sometimes what is initially thought to be awkward will eventually be visually pleasing.

To work with a plan that is preset is one way of avoiding subjectivity. It also obviates the necessity of designing each work in turn. The plan would design the work. Some plans would require millions of variations, and some a limited number, but both are finite. Other plans imply infinity. In each case, however, the artist would select the basic form and rules that would govern the solution of the problem. After that the fewer decisions made in the course of completing the work, the better. This eliminates the arbitrary, the capricious, and the subjective as much as possible. This is the reason for using this method.

When an artist uses a multiple modular method he usually chooses a simple and readily available form. The form itself is of very limited importance; it becomes the grammar for the total work. In fact, it is best that the basic unit be deliberately uninteresting so that it may more easily become an intrinsic part of the entire work. Using complex basic forms only disrupts the unity of the whole. Using a simple form repeatedly narrows the field of the work and concentrates the intensity to the arrangement of the form. This arrangement becomes the end while the form becomes the means.

Conceptual art doesn’t really have much to do with mathematics, philosophy, or nay other mental discipline. The mathematics used by most artists is simple arithmetic or simple number systems. The philosophy of the work is implicit in the work and it is not an illustration of any system of philosophy.

It doesn’t really matter if the viewer understands the concepts of the artist by seeing the art. Once it is out of his hand the artist has no control over the way a viewer will perceive the work. Different people will understand the same thing in a different way.

Recently there has been much written about minimal art, but I have not discovered anyone who admits to doing this kind of thing. There are other art forms around called primary structures, reductive, ejective, cool, and mini-art. No artist I know will own up to any of these either. Therefore I conclude that it is part of a secret language that art critics use when communicating with each other through the medium of art magazines. Mini-art is best because it reminds one of miniskirts and long-legged girls. It must refer to very small works of art. This is a very good idea. Perhaps “mini-art” shows could be sent around the country in matchboxes. Or maybe the mini-artist is a very small person; say less than five feet tall. If so, much good work will be found in the primary schools (primary school primary structures).

If the artist carries through his idea and makes it into visible form, then all the steps in the process are of importance. The idea itself, even if not made visual, is as much a work of art as any finished product. All intervening steps –scribbles, sketches, drawings, failed works, models, studies, thoughts, conversations– are of interest. Those that show the thought process of the artist are sometimes more interesting than the final product.

Determining what size a piece should be is difficult. If an idea requires three dimensions then it would seem any size would do. The question would be what size is best. If the thing were made gigantic then the size alone would be impressive and the idea may be lost entirely. Again, if it is too small, it may become inconsequential. The height of the viewer may have some bearing on the work and also the size of the space into which it will be placed. The artist may wish to place objects higher than the eye level of the viewer, or lower. I think the piece must be large enough to give the viewer whatever information he needs to understand the work and placed in such a way that will facilitate this understanding. (Unless the idea is of impediment and requires difficulty of vision or access).

Space can be thought of as the cubic area occupied by a three-dimensional volume. Any volume would occupy space. It is air and cannot be seen. It is the interval between things that can be measured. The intervals and measurements can be important to a work of art. If certain distances are important they will be made obvious in the piece. If space is relatively unimportant it can be regularized and made equal (things placed equal distances apart) to mitigate any interest in interval. Regular space might also become a metric time element, a kind of regular beat or pulse. When the interval is kept regular whatever is irregular gains more importance.

Architecture and three-dimensional art are of completely opposite natures. The former is concerned with making an area with a specific function. Architecture, whether it is a work of art or not, must be utilitarian or else fail completely. Art is not utilitarian. When three-dimensional art starts to take on some of the characteristics, such as forming utilitarian areas, it weakens its function as art. When the viewer is dwarfed by the larger size of a piece this domination emphasizes the physical and emotive power of the form at the expense of losing the idea of the piece.

New materials are one of the great afflictions of contemporary art. Some artists confuse new materials with new ideas. There is nothing worse than seeing art that wallows in gaudy baubles. By and large most artists who are attracted to these materials are the ones who lack the stringency of mind that would enable them to use the materials well. It takes a good artist to use new materials and make them into a work of art. The danger is, I think, in making the physicality of the materials so important that it becomes the idea of the work (another kind of expressionism).

Three-dimensional art of any kind is a physical fact. The physicality is its most obvious and expressive content. Conceptual art is made to engage the mind of the viewer rather than his eye or emotions. The physicality of a three-dimensional object then becomes a contradiction to its non-emotive intent. Color, surface, texture, and shape only emphasize the physical aspects of the work. Anything that calls attention to and interests the viewer in this physicality is a deterrent to our understanding of the idea and is used as an expressive device. The conceptual artist would want to ameliorate this emphasis on materiality as much as possible or to use it in a paradoxical way (to convert it into an idea). This kind of art, then, should be stated with the greatest economy of means. Any idea that is better stated in two dimensions should not be in three dimensions. Ideas may also be stated with numbers, photographs, or words or any way the artist chooses, the form being unimportant.

These paragraphs are not intended as categorical imperatives, but the ideas stated are as close as possible to my thinking at this time. These ideas are the result of my work as an artist and are subject to change as my experience changes. I have tried to state them with as much clarity as possible. If the statements I make are unclear it may mean the thinking is unclear. Even while writing these ideas there seemed to be obvious inconsistencies (which I have tried to correct, but others will probably slip by). I do not advocate a conceptual form of art for all artists. I have found that it has worked well for me while other ways have not. It is one way of making art; other ways suit other artists. Nor do I think all conceptual art merits the viewer’s attention. Conceptual art is good only when the idea is good.

#notes

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danganranpa-v3-imagines · 7 years ago

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what about the boys with a really childish s/o?

And time for my next ask! This was fun, but it also got super long and in-depth since I gave everyone a completely unique scenario! I hope you all enjoy the effort!What’s nice about a childish S/O is that they can be really energetic, silly, curious, emotional in general, but I think children are also surprisingly empathic and, of course, very blunt about the feelings they have. In the rigid adult world, all of those traits are beautiful to have! Don’t give up on your inner child, no matter what people try and tell you!~

Shuichi Saihara:- Shuichi doesn’t mind your childish disposition at all. Your energetic makes him feel happier and more at ease, and despite some complaints here and there, he’s always ready to follow your whims. Meanwhile, his calm nature manages to balance you out too when you start to feel too hyper or anxious.- However, sometimes, this socially awkward boy gets a bit overwhelmed by your antics. Mostly when you have a sudden emotional reaction to something and he can’t handle the situation. - Or when you suddenly jump at him for a hug and he freaks out at the body contact. He’s not the type to respond well to things he can’t expect, even though he’d love to be less jumpy.- One day, Saihara was thinking about this and feeling quite bad about it - something you immediately catch. You ask him what’s wrong, and even when he denies anything being wrong, you don’t let up.- As Saihara tells you about his worries, you deny them and tell him that it’s all okay. You don’t expect him to be any less jumpy, after all, that’s just part of the Saihara you’ve decided to love.- But you would so love for Saihara to go eat ice cream with you as an apology for being so worried about that kind of thing. He laughs and takes you to your favorite ice cream café.Kaito Momota:- Kaito loves being with someone like you! He’s not the kind of person that cares much about acting grown-up, and instead swears by doing what you love and following your dreams, after all.- You are like a physical manifestation of that mindset - you just are who you are, and that’s okay! As someone who’s been dissuaded from just being who he is many times in his life, he would never judge your behaviour.- Of course, that doesn’t apply to all people, however.- Sometimes, people give you an odd glare. Kaito always notices, but even though you can tell he’s getting mad at it, he just chooses to ignore it.- This time, it was something he couldn’t ignore, however.- Someone actually goes up to you and tells you that you should be ashamed of being like you are and that you should just start being an adult already.- Kaito snaps and grabs that person by the shirt.- “Just shut up and get out of my partner’s sight, right now.”- He lets them go and the person flees away in panic. You tell him that were worried that he would get in trouble for that, but Kaito just picks you up, ruffles your hair and tells you that he would not care if something happened to him, but that he always has to stand up for you or he’d fail as your boyfriend.- You tell him that you appreciate the thought, but that you also don’t want him to burn himself out from taking your responsibilty or get himself in trouble because that’d make you more upset than anything else.- He reluctantly accepts your words and promises that he’ll take better care of himself, too.Ryoma Hoshi:- You and Ryoma are a perfect example of opposites attracting! Ryoma is a very small and young-looking, but serious person, and you’re very carefree and childish despite looking a tad more mature than him. It creates a hilarious, but also surprisingly functional dynamic.- It’s very easy to tell that you rely on eachother’s company a lot - you’re both like two inseperable halves of a whole.- But, especially with someone as free of worry as you, he is worried with burdening you with his issues or dragging you into something unpleasant due to his past.- You’re always assuming him just being a bit gloomy as always, so he can hide his worries well for a long time.- However, you’re slowly starting to notice something else. Ryoma not going out much with you. Ryoma not talking about his feelings with you anymore.- At one point, you suddenly decide you’ve had enough. You were getting very pouty and upset with Ryoma from one moment to the other. You demand to know why he is closing himself off from you so much again.- Ryoma says that he’s not convinced the relationship is going to work out when he needs to be worried about him burdening you.- You agree with him and tell him that it’s absolutely right, but because he has no reason to do so! You might be a bit childish, but especially then you also want to take responsibility for the relationship you’re in.- Honestly, Ryoma is very glad to hear that. You continue by saying that him getting paranoid about something like that instead of just enjoying your company is just making things worse for the two of you, not better.- He apologizes deeply and makes up for it by teaching you how to play some tennis on a public courtyard. Many people are watching and admiring his skills from afar… and nothing unpleasant happened at all.Rantaro Amami:- Rantaro is a cool, brotherly type in the first place, so he just loves taking care of you! You remind him of the times where he’s still had his siblings and took care of them in any way he could, except romantically this time.- However, he’s also quite protective of you - he always keeps an eye on you no matter what you do or where you go, almost as if he’d not want you to be seperated with him ever. - Actually, that’s probably exactly it.- He just doesn’t want to lose anyone this close to him ever again, and he has reason to worry especially with you being this childish…- So, considering Rantaro has always been ready to do anything with you so far, you ask him if you can both go to the park together.- As the two of you arrive there, you tell him to go sit on this one bench… and not move an inch away from it or look around!- You can tell he becomes incredibly worried at that plea. Exposed!- But you probably should also give an explanation - that you’ve realized how worried he is for you and that you just want to show him that even though you’re childish, you can still take care of yourself, too.- Rantaro is still incredibly hesitant, but he also doesn’t want to distrust you.- So you end up going far away to a patch of meadows.- There, you can see a ton of beautiful flowers growing. You decide to pick some from him as a reward for holding out like that.- You also remember hearing something about Hanakotoba - the Japanese flower language - and try to recall some flowers that’d fit.- In the end, you carefully pick some pink roses - a symbol of trust and confidence as well as love - and make a bouquet out of them. - When you return, he looks at you and your gift with such relief and happiness. It seems like you were finally able to have him take a first step towards being less worried!Gonta Gokuhara:- As someone who’s also a bit naive and socially unaware, you and Gonta are two birds of a feather. Together, you figure out the world around you!- Of course, the two of you understand eachother just perfectly. But both of you still have a bit of trouble with meeting society’s expectations.- On the one hand, you yourself don’t really wanna worry about that too much.- On the other hand, it’d be good if you could at least go along a little bit in a pinch, and you know it’s a very personal problem for Gonta. - So, the two of you are training together to be the perfect duo of the gentleman and his beloved!- However, you are eachother’s best judges? Worst judges? Anyway, whatever you’d call it, you just love eachother too much and don’t know enough to really give constructive advice to eachother.- But the two of you just never notice that, so it happens that you’re commonly inappropriate in some manners, not noticing it until it’s too late.- Gonta seems really sad about it whenever it happens, but you tell him to keep his chin up and just learn from the experience!- To not make him worry about all the societal expectations as much anymore, this time, you just propose that you go to the forest with him at night and watch and talk to the bugs. - He immediately cheers up upon hearing your offer, and the two of you have a beautiful night!Kokichi Ouma:- In terms of how well this relationship works, well… Let’s just say it works fiendishly well for the two of you.- You two are both people that embrace their childish side, but hide a lot of intelligence behind it. What do you two use these traits for? Of course, you prank others with passion!- No one is safe from you, and you’ve become quite infamous for your exploits. But everyone knows it’s all in good fun, so no one can get mad.- Aside from pranking others, the two of you are always ready to go along with the silliest of whims. You are rebels that don’t care about what anyone else says, you just go for what seems to be the most fun at any time!- Being with Kokichi never gets boring for you or him… but sometimes, you wonder if he’s just playing with your heart, too, if this love is all just a cruel prank from his end.- Kokichi can tell that you are having your doubts, and he plans a very elaborate response to it. After all, the best way to show someone that you really love them is with the cheesiest prank he has come up with yet.- So, one day, as you take a walk back home, you drop into a small pitfall.- After screaming in confusion, you take a look around just to see Kokichi partially below you, half-naked, only a large pink ribbon covering his vital parts, with a heart-shaped box of pralines and a pink sign with heart and kiss decorations saying “Nishishishi! Look at how you’ve fallen for me!~”- You don’t even think about it being sarcasm or not, you die of laughter and embarassment from the hilarity of the situation - just as Kokichi planned.- Then you tell him that he should put on his clothes again and get out of here with you. But Kokichi tells you that he’s left his clothes outside and there’s no way to get out until help arrives.- So this is how he coerced you into making out with him in a pitfall, just for a while.Korekiyo Shinguji:- Despite Korekiyo being the very thoughtful and studious type, completely unlike you, he loves your childish passion and curiosity for everything.- A favorite thing to do for the two of you is him telling or reading stories to you before you go to bed together - but you’re so eager on hearing more, and always beg for yet another story, so he’s took it as a challenge to find and tell the most relatively boring and unremarkable stories.- Which ends up being a total failure still. He can make everything really interesting and entertaining, it’s like his talent is a curse in this situation.- Your relationship is very happy and fulfilled, not despite, but due to your differences. But sometimes, people ask you if you find Korekiyo to be a bit unsettling, especially since you act so childlike. - Maybe you were a bit creeped by him at first, but he’s really just someone that’s really passionate for what he loves - and for who he loves. - Someone with your nature is easily able to look past things that are stereotypically considered creepy or unsettling and love someone for who they truly are. - Deep down, Korekiyo really appreciates this as well - he’s always been accused of being a creep or acting in taboo ways.- But you just don’t care about someone’s mere exterior. It’s the inside that counts - and to you, no one is more beautiful in there than Korekiyo.Keebo:- Of course you and Keebo get along very well, too. I mean, what child doesn’t want their awesome mecha (boy)friend? Even in your age, those feelings didn’t go away, and with Keebo, they became an unique reality.- Keebo loves showing off his Ultimate Robot functions to you. He’s very proud of himself, his creation and his status, after all, and you’re always so amazed, he just can’t help it!- But sometimes, there are also situations where he can get a bit pouty at you. Even though you love him so much, sometimes he feels like he’s treated more as a human-sized toy rather than your boyfriend.- You always tell him that you just can’t help playing with him so much because you love him this much, and that it’s really nothing personal.- Still, of course Keebo rightfully expects to not just be there for your own amusement. So to balance it all out a little, you take Keebo to this huge mecha convention that is happening very close nearby.- Both of you absolutely love it - you’re both massive nerds for this, after all!- Keebo gains even more inspiration for what enhancements to get for his body, but you jokingly tell him that he starts to make himself into a toy for himself. He goes speechless and flustered at that statement, not knowing how to refute it.- So you just say that of course it doesn’t mean Keebo is just a toy, but that not just you, but also Keebo himself is super excited for the things he can do! Isn’t it perfect that way?- Keebo laughs in agreement. He just can’t be mad at you, even if you seem or sound a bit unintentionally robophobic at times.

#mod kaito #ndrv3 imagine #headcanon #scenario #shuichi saihara #kaito momota #kiibo #rantarou amami #kokichi ouma #gonta gokuhara #korekiyo shinguji #ryoma hoshi #the ouma one is completely ridiculous #but ouma is very ridiculous in general #god lmao

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laurelkrugerr · 4 years ago

Text

Power SEO Friendly Markup With HTML5, CSS3, And Javascript

The first session in our initial three-part series SEO Company for Developers: Live with Search Engine Land we began covering Technical SEO Company and communicating issues between practitioners and developers. For a well-rounded conversation we hosted speakers with perspectives from both the practitioner side of things, as well as practical effectiveness with SEO Company In-House as part of an enterprise team. Our guests were:

The video is great if you’re looking to hear new ideas for effecting change with your clients, with developers, or wanting to be more effective from within your organization. Learn about team building tactics with developers in the mix as well as struggles you may face when you’re not part of an organization.

The session continued in a second part focused on fundamental JavaScript SEO Company complete with code examples for React and Vue to give you a running start with those projects. Learn to solve some indexing problems with these popular JavaScript (framework) libraries and find tips you need for requirements to implement SEO Company into similarly scaffolded or boilerplate javascript projects.

youtube

Communicating requirements of Technical SEO to developers

Depending on your situation, communicating SEO Company to developers can range from feeling like you’re always walking on eggshells and being very careful not to tread on ego or territory, to another extreme where you experience sheer frustration that however much you stress the importance of a needed change it seems hopeless, like as if you’re shouting into the void.

How can you best navigate personality problems? It’s not always going to be possible. There are things you can do to boost your odds of success, or otherwise avoid common pitfalls, and getting this information out to you was the goal of our discussion with the first part of our first session.

Anthony and Katie shared tales of how, starting with a grim outlook, they were able to ultimately succeed in partnership with developers, or just succeed anyway. You can hear how both pulled all the stops to try and be persuasive using everything from homemade cupcakes to bottles of vodka. While these are often cited as helpful tactics, in practice these ideas didn’t work for them.

Major site changes

During a major site change more than one aspect of a technology stack can change over a short period of time. When you have a correlating loss of traffic, you might associate a drop with the incident and a particular aspect of the technology at that point. That’s when Technical SEO Company skills and knowing the problem can come to a crossroads where you need to convey your findings to developers who might disagree with you about which path to take.

I did a forensic audit and found technical issues. The lead dev was like: “How do we know it’s not something else?” The answer is, you really don’t know. You just have a gut instinct and a lot of experience to be able to try and guide it in that way. We made the changes and right before the busiest time of year we saw a 40 point swing to the upside with millions in additional revenues. The GM had said: “I’m in awe. You know, this is great.” At that point the lead dev decided to re-platform to React.

Anthony Muller

There’s always a chance developers have a bias towards a technology that they’re comfortable with, or excited to be using. As developers, we like to think of ourselves as not holding an unwarranted bias for a technology, but in reality we want to control our own programming environment. We aren’t always able to and when we can we might a preference, same as anybody else.

When there’s money on the line you have to counteract any favoritism which can require self-analysis. Problems will arise when ulterior motives give us an inclination to use inappropriate technology as a way to use what’s most familiar or gain experience with the latest JavaScript libraries.

Problems of a technology choice aren’t always developer-borne issues. In our third video, Martin Splitt spoke of developing a banking application with Angular. Angular, unfortunately, then became the anointed technology to use for everything. That was a mistake of leadership assuming a solid technology choice in one area of business is a safe bet everywhere else.

Things are never that easy.

The trouble with React is …

ReactJS is a terrific User-Interface (UI) builder for the frontend. Confusion arises when developers want to simplify the notion of a webpage down to that of a UI when it’s not only that. A webpage can be interactive with JavaScript in ways that do not require a UI. Using React in certain conditions will lead to over-engineering with a result that we have a history of Single Page App (SPA) websites that typically don’t rank well.

Whats more, the underlying technology stack powering React is not ideally suited for static websites even though it can certainly be used for them. For example, there’s Gatsby, a Static Site Generator (SSG) built on React and its conventions. Believe it or not plain old boring jQuery is still a far more appropriate choice for most static sites than Gatsby.

React is definitely an important innovation. When you need reactive page elements as part of site functionality, in other words, elements that change when universal or user specific data changes, that’s when React becomes an excellent choice! You get all the advantage of a paradigm shift from jQuery to a component-based reactive library for developing cutting-edge interactivity. For example: If you want roll your own chat, look into React.

Developers only need to avoid using React in cases where jQuery or vanilla JavaScript is what’s actually called for. Therein lies the problem, because they aren’t inclined to avoid using arguably the greatest client-side library innovation since jQuery. They all want to sharpen their knowledge of the latest greatest thing for employability. There are numerous open jobs for React programmers. We’re going to learn how to set it up correctly.

Server-side rendering

A partial solution to the problem, known as Server-Side Rendering (SSR), is probably best described as a ‘hack’ bolted in place after feedback that early renditions of these libraries were not search engine friendly. Russ describes how React still tends to promote scaffolding or boilerplate that defaults to Client-Side Rendering (CSR) by convention. He shows us how to set yourself up for SEO Company with React and Vue.

A note about Evergreen Chromium

Evergreen Chromium keeps Googlebot up to date with the latest Chrome version. Google can now fetch CSR content fairly easily, but it’s certainly no silver bullet. Developers may think it means SSR is unnecessary, but for Googlebot your critical content is not immediately available and it may not be available at all without taking careful measures to ensure that it is.

It’s certainly not ideal for SEO Company, either. Even when you might fare a little better now with Google than in the past, you need to consider social media crawlers. Bing switched to Evergreen Chromium, but Facebook and Twitter haven’t done so yet and who knows if they ever will?

How about operationalizing SEO?

Working from within an organization, and with a sizable development team, Katie found that filing issues through the ticketing process wasn’t working fast enough for Technical SEO Company changes. Additionally, there was no way for her to gauge the relative importance of her SEO Company requests versus whatever else the development team was working on.

After attending Search Marketing Expo (SMX) West’s keynote with Jessica Bowman (In-House SEO), Katie was inspired to try a different approach.

She was talking about operationalizing SEO Company and saying that anyone touching the website could be making multi-million dollar SEO Company decisions without realizing it. You’re always going to be outnumbered by people who are touching it. There’s never enough SEO Companys to have an SEO Company in the room for all these things. If you feel like you’re running around chasing fires all the time then you need to operationalize SEO Company.

Katie Meurin

Katie brought her developer teammates to more SMX session content where, once back at work, they began to ask her questions about how the changes they were thinking of might impact the website’s SEO Company. This was the very breakthrough she needed for going from being caught outside in a separate silo to working inside with the development team.

Since team building sessions fostered these more productive communications, Katie continued to organize Technical SEO Company trainings in-house and looks forward to a whole new build where SEO Company is a fundamental feature of the forthcoming new website.

The developers she worked with learned about using SEO Company tools and began using some of them directly in their workflow. They began testing development branch versions using command line SEO Company tools to make sure to realize good scores with Lighthouse and now Web Vitals. Any disagreements about SEO Company particulars would get resolved as it was typically just a matter of language that Katie’s team documentation helped clarify.

It was through these experiences that Katie was able to increase the priority of her Technical SEO Company with the development team whose members came to truly appreciate knowing the value of the business impact of what they were doing. This was a huge sea change shift going from not knowing whether her Technical SEO Company tickets were prioritized above a mystery plate of work tasks to developers caring about SEO Company every bit as much as they might frontend design details.

Server side rendering (SSR)

So, what happened to Anthony’s client when they switched to React before Googlebot’s Evergreen Chromium release? Just imagine when 80% of revenue was tied dollar-for-dollar to tanking rankings. Anthony tried everything to be persuasive, including bringing an outside developer in to recommend implementing SSR.

To satisfy SEO Company requirements, you’re going to need SSR strategies that ship code with fleshed-out and optimized content, or your rankings will not reflect the value of your website pages.

The lead developer was (rightly) disappointed to hear advice to implement SSR, negating all the practical advantage of using a reactive library in the first place. The unwarranted technology preference for React with a static site was suddenly a technology obstacle which began to haunt them as technical debt they didn’t want to pay down.

The lead developer insisted on delivering alternative explanations for what was happening and for an inexplicable reason fully resisted the recommendation to move to SSR. In the mean time, Google launched its Evergreen Chromium initiative and the new Googlebot indexing resulted in a 7% traffic lift which allowed the developer to further delay the inevitable.

It was not enough to recover lost revenues and it ultimately became increasingly clear React was a bad choice of technology for powering the static website. Anthony’s SSR recommendation was finally put in place and imagine what happened when search traffic quickly rose back up by 60%. Imagine the difference unearned revenue made for the time spent languishing with such a basic and obvious rendering issue.

JavaScript SEO for React and Vue

Developers need to be flexible enough with skills and attitude to implement SSR for SEO Company with these popular JavaScript library (frameworks). Russ provided us with an excellent introductory dive into how to go about it with React and Vue along with quick tips about how to include essential SEO Company to go along with it. We’ll be covering that with all the details in our next installment before moving on to scraping by scripting with Puppeteer.

More development tips for SEO Companys

About The Author

Detlef Johnson is the SEO Company for Developers Expert for Search Engine Land and SMX. He is also a member of the programming team for SMX events and writes the SEO for Developers series on Search Engine Land. Detlef is one of the original group of pioneering webmasters who established the professional SEO Company field more than 20 years ago. Since then he has worked for major search engine technology providers, managed programming and marketing agency teams for Chicago Tribune, and consulted for numerous entities including Fortune 500 companies. Detlef has a strong understanding of Technical SEO Company and a passion for Web programming.

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

source http://www.scpie.org/power-seo-friendly-markup-with-html5-css3-and-javascript/ source https://scpie1.blogspot.com/2020/08/power-seo-friendly-markup-with-html5.html

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riichardwilson · 4 years ago

Text

Power SEO Friendly Markup With HTML5, CSS3, And Javascript

youtube

Communicating requirements of Technical SEO to developers

Major site changes

Anthony Muller

Things are never that easy.

The trouble with React is …

Server-side rendering

A note about Evergreen Chromium

How about operationalizing SEO?

After attending Search Marketing Expo (SMX) West’s keynote with Jessica Bowman (In-House SEO), Katie was inspired to try a different approach.

Katie Meurin

Server side rendering (SSR)

To satisfy SEO Company requirements, you’re going to need SSR strategies that ship code with fleshed-out and optimized content, or your rankings will not reflect the value of your website pages.

JavaScript SEO for React and Vue

More development tips for SEO Companys

About The Author

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

source http://www.scpie.org/power-seo-friendly-markup-with-html5-css3-and-javascript/ source https://scpie.tumblr.com/post/627046188904054784

0 notes

scpie · 4 years ago

Text

Power SEO Friendly Markup With HTML5, CSS3, And Javascript

youtube

Communicating requirements of Technical SEO to developers

Major site changes

Anthony Muller

Things are never that easy.

The trouble with React is …

Server-side rendering

A note about Evergreen Chromium

How about operationalizing SEO?

After attending Search Marketing Expo (SMX) West’s keynote with Jessica Bowman (In-House SEO), Katie was inspired to try a different approach.

Katie Meurin

Server side rendering (SSR)

To satisfy SEO Company requirements, you’re going to need SSR strategies that ship code with fleshed-out and optimized content, or your rankings will not reflect the value of your website pages.

JavaScript SEO for React and Vue

More development tips for SEO Companys

About The Author

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

source http://www.scpie.org/power-seo-friendly-markup-with-html5-css3-and-javascript/

0 notes

funkymbtifiction · 7 years ago

Text

Arohi: INFP. Sent further thoughts / explanations to the e-mail you submitted this through. (Since you did not answer me, I’m posting this so you will see it / be reminded to check your e-mail and to get it out of my inbox.)

Have a nice day. :)

Original post: Hi Charity, I filled this questionnaire from personality cafe. What do you think of it and infer from it? I know somethings are very stupid. Please dont mind it.

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type? That I am a paradox. Also, the confusion springs more from the MBTI stereotypes than the personality itself. 2) What do you yearn for in life? Why? The thing that i want most out of life is for my life to be extraordinary. I want my life to have meaning. I want to live it in a way that makes me happy. I believe that there is a blank canvas of life in front of me and i have to paint it beautifully. I want to create my life story as meaningful and unconventional. I yearn to live a life that contents my soul to its core. I want my story to engraved in the he I yearn for such a life but am unable to take any action to make it so. Just hope that one day I’ll be able to. 3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way. I am unable recall any such moment. 4) What makes you feel inferior? A lot of things (incidences) and people (especially the popular kids who get whatever they want because they have connections) make me feel inferior. People who are able to charm their way into this world, those who are really good at things that i want to be good at but am not makes me feel inferior and sends me on a self critical mood. I am very conscious about what others think of me and if their opinion is not favorable than i feel inferior. 5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.) Mostly I do what I want to do. But sometimes my mom really gets into my mind whilst making decision. She makes me believe that my decisions are immature and inadequate and that what she is saying is right. There’s something in her that compels my decisions to work on her whims and wishes. And if i am able to fight her compulsions then too there lingers a feeling of doubt in my head and i really hate it. In short, some people do intermingle with my decision making process by making me feel my decisions are stupid. And this irritates me a lot. Also my opinions bounces a lot based on external factors. 6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome? See I truly want to work on projects and make it the best I can but I procrastinate a lot and so my projects are always the last minute deal. This leaves me with very little emphasis on its creativity and material and leads me to focus more on the limited time frame. Thus the outcome is very different from what i imagine it to be (when we get the project). 7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it? I don’t really have a specific time as fun and boredom are part and parcel of life but yeah my time in 8th grade was the the most fun I ever had in my life. My memory of that time consists of the particular incidences that made that time epic (comically speaking). My friends and our group was the best thing that happened to me that year. Also, i made one true friend for life in the mentioned class so that year means a lot to me. 8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc) Well, I want to learn a lot of new things but as soon as I start them , I loose my interest and then leave them. It’s only under pressure that I am able to complete tasks or when I am VERY determined to do it. I don’t know about my approach to learning something new. Usually it’s a mix of many approaches. 9) How organized do you to think of yourself as? Well, I have heard I was very organized as a child but since I have grown up, I have become very lazy . Very few things remain organized in my life. 10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it? Well new ideas are interesting. It offers innovative ways of looking at things. But i experience difficulty in accepting new ideas that threaten to complex or change the way I look at things. e.g. I was quite interested when I got to know about MBTI It was fun. But then I came across cognitive functions and thought why are they making it so complicated, “I am not going to get any further into it”. But then I read more and more about it and realized that it was necessary to make it complex for better understanding. To summarize, my first reaction is “This is insane” but then I try to know more about it a deeper my understanding of it and then I am like “ Actually, It’s not that insane”. 11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself? Well the answer to this might be biased so I won’t answer this. 12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions? I always think before speaking. But sometimes i speak utter nonsense and then realize what i said and feel embarrassed about it. One on one conversation- Always and Forever. 13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words? I would say i react impulsively on things but don’t really jump into actions. But when I do, I have to know exactly where to land. Well some of it also depends on situation. In my case, neither the action nor the words speak any better. I believe that every person has his own way to contribute but just blabbing about what you can contribute is not enough, you have to take action to give your words meaning. 14) It’s Saturday. You’re at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do? Well if they are my closest friends then i will be torn apart between the show and the night out. I think I’ll go for the night out because you know there’s always netflix. But it is not very easy for me to miss on the things i hold dear. 15) How do you act when you’re stressed out? I start to freak out if what’s happening around me is real or not. I’ll give you an example, I had to give my very first board examinations and i knew that my examination center was my school only but the moment i reached there i started freaking out that i have not confirmed it with anyone and what if i am wrong. I knew that it was my center but still harbored doubts against this knowledge for no reason. And that doubt prevailed until i was seated in the examination hall.

Also i start to feel starved and want more food especially tasty food to get me going. I become very nervous and start experiencing shortness of breath. During my exams, i keep looking at the clock and start worrying if i’ll be able to complete my syllabus within the stipulated time but the time keeps flying off. 16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people? I dislike whosoever offends me no matter what personality type they have. 17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people? As long as I am with someone who has a special place in my heart and who I want to talk to incessantly , the topic of the conversation does not matter. And to those i dislike, i also dislike having any conversation with regardless of the topic. 18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life I don't like reading newspapers and listening to the news. My G.K. is very weak because i am not really interested in those stuff. I hate discussions about business and countries’ growth rates and census, share markets, etc. because i have no idea what these terms mean and don’t understand discussions about these topics. So my least interested area of attention is anything related to commerce. (19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ? My friends perceive me as kind, thoughtful, sweet, simple, loving but at the same time boring, too serious, melancholic and withdrawn. They are not wrong in their perceptions as I am like that infront of them but there’s a lot deeper and sometimes darker traits of my personality that I keep hidden from them. They would never say that I am sociable even for the sake of being social. 20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing? Well, I can spend the entire day just listening to music and creating fragments of stories in my mind relating to what has been going in my life mixed with what i want to happen in my life and the music gives it a background effect. Also it depends a lot on what I want to do at that particular time.

#type me #infp #mbti #submission

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