#as in 'I harmed myself on purpose' but not for the purpose of causing harm

[lieut-dundy-le-vesconte]

>dundy crosses himself in return, then squeezes his hands back, looking him in the eyes

n-normally... well normally the preacher and the confessor don't see each other >he offers a smile, a small laugh but this isn't... normally >he shifts forward so that they're close, so that their knees are touching, and then he shuts his eyes, bows his head. it'll be the same if he just doesn't look at him. he tries to put himself in that space. it's been... it's been a damned long time, and he's nervous, and scared, as he always is before confession, scared to lay himself bare in the eyes of God, scared to confess all that he's done, scared to forget something or leave something out... scared that God will hear him, this time, for the liar and cheater he is

>he has lied. at confession. so many times. and so many times they have told dundy God can hear your thoughts, God can see you, but dundy's always seen God as more a captain of a ship than some all-knowing being, a man who guides all the people of the earth towards some common goal he hasn't yet figured out, who offers support when needed, when reached out to. He can hear my prayers, dundy knows this, but he knows also there is no possible way God can hear his thoughts, that loudly and clearly.

>so many times, he's confessed what he's wanted to confess. he's never trusted priests, even though he knows he should. he's heard too many things about people in his town being ratted on because of rumors spread from the confessional... and dundy's never trusted the booth to be a totally private space. he's grown up on ships. there's no thing as true privacy. they've told him, you won't be absolved if you hide things in confession, if you don't lay your soul bare, but dundy's never been one for that. he's never trusted... he's never trusted God enough to be honest with him. he's tried. oh he's tried, but time and time again, just as He has now, God has proven himself untrustworthy, always letting dundy down.

>but now? holding john's hands in his? a protestant, a scottsman, and he french, irish, and catholic, and he is to confess to this protestant who is committing sacrilege in his name... here, where God can hear them the loudest... now, dundy is totally and completely honest. he doesn't pick and choose. he lays it out, exactly as it is, or as well as he can. it's been a long two years. as he speaks, it's with a measured cadence, a quiet voice, steadily, easily, and the sins he lists are listed as they come to him, all the bad he can remember, all that he's sinned over all of his life. once he starts, he doesn't stop, hoping he won't leave anything out.

i'm sorry father... john... i'm sorry john for i have sinned... i have not been doing my job as well as i try to. i have behaved unbecomingly of an officer. i have been drunk, too drunk, sick with it, and i have been drunk on duty. i still practice Papism when is should be Protestant.i have not taken God's words lightly. i have used his name in vain, derogating his honor. i have stolen from other men and other ships, and i have stolen money and goods from prizes. i have been negligent at my stations. i have caused quarrel and disturbance among fellow sailors, and i have provoked hatred amongst my neighbors. i have been disobedient in duty and in battle. i have struck a superior officer. i have questioned command. i have harbored hatred in my heart, i have killed.. i have killed a-at least fifty... i... i don't know how many people i've killed, but i have killed so many, and many i have enjoyed killing. i have hated my fellow sailors as well as my neighbors, i have acted on this hate, i have sought revenge, and i have acted on this revenge, and in doing so i have harmed those i love or who loved me. i have slept with others who are not my own, i have gotten myself off, i have practiced sodomy and slept with other men at least eleven times... i have manipulated, cheated, and lied to others, more than i can count, for my own gains and purposes. i have withheld sins from confession. i have made up sins in confession. i have not loved God with my full heart. i have hated God, i have doubted God, i have lost my belief in God. i have been hopeless. i have never trusted him. i don't trust anyone. i am lost and i am scared and i am unworthy, and i believe my sins are too great and God too weak for absolution to ever be achieved. i have tried to absolve myself of my sins myself. i have seen pain as a sign of love. i have not been a good man. i have tried too hard and not realized when i'm unwanted. i have been awful to everyone. i haven't loved anyone enough. i have loved them too much. i am hopeless, utterly hopeless, and i have wanted death too much for death to ever want me...

>he stops, worrying he's said too much. he's never been this honest, this open with anyone, and suddenly he's so self-conscious about it, about everything he's just said, it's too open, too real, too much, too honest— and at the same time, he knows there is so much more he could say. he keeps his eyes shut. forces himself not to look at john, though he wants to, though he wants to beg for forgiveness in his eyes, to see him speak it. he knows he can't. he knows if this is confession as it was meant to be, then he cannot look at john. john speaks for God now. through him, God hears dundy. through him—

>dundy opens his eyes. he meets john's gaze steadily, not fighting the tears

i'm sorry, he says, i'm sorry i'm terrible... at everything that i do

>he hovers in the hallway. francis suggested he talk to dr. goodsir, but it wasn't really an order, and dundy thinks he's fine besides. the pain doesn't hurt any more than it's been hurting (which is a lot, which he figures is normal; it should be hurting), so he's probably fine, who the fuck knows, who cares, but he knows for sure he's fine. it's not that bad. he starts forward, towards the hatch, then stops at @ltgeorgehodgson's door, hovers, considers, doesn't knock. george doesn't want him. why is he even considering trying??? just go home, henry. just go back out into the cold and dark where you fucking belong because nobody wants you. just go.

>he steps away from the door and starts forward again

[luxlightly]

The podiatrist looking around in my toe for my ingrown toenail, with growing horror: "There's...nothing here. On either side. I'll still put on the medication that prevents it from growing back. but there's nothing left to remove." Me: "Oh well that's good to know. Like I said, I take them out at home when it gets ingrown again. I thought I left a spike behind on one side." Dr: "You've been doing that for the past 15+ years, you said? How often do you do it?" Me: "How fast do nails grow? I just take it out every time it grows out long enough to get ingrown again. So, every few weeks, I guess." Dr: "It's gone all the way to the nail bed. How did you do this without any anesthetic?"

Me: "Very slowly." Anyway I think my new podiatrist thinks I'm some kind of serial killer or masochist or both.

[princessmyriad]

.

[galacticpanther306]

Similarities between supporters of palestine and supporters of Israel.

1. They love boycotting.

2. They love accusing people who work for those companies of being complicit with either side eventhough the employee just wants to get their shift over with and go home where they can be left alone.

3. They can't take no for an answer heck they can't take being told that the individual isn't interested for an answer.

4. They don't care if the individual in question is having thoughts of committing suicide and think that if they help they're giving the individual a pass for not being interested in this movement.

Anyone on either side that comments on this post with anything nasty will get blocked and I'm getting fucking sick of this behavior.

[spocks-kaathyra]

really nothing more detestable than a coward

[spoofyleaf]

Have you ever been in a physical fight 👀

Kind of? I’ve given someone a black eye bc they were being creepy towards a friend, and broke someone’s nose bc they were relentlessly bullying a friend. I have (accidentally) given someone a concussion bc they were bullying me and a friend, as well as throwing an eraser so hard at them it gave them a welt (idk how either). Punched a creepy old guy under the jaw bone when I was pumping gas one time.

Never really been in a fight, but I have snapped (which takes a LOT for me to do) to put an end to shut

[novadreii]

The way I fully became American in my mind reading that last post, thinking about a hypothetical killer of someone I love getting capital punishment like I don't live in Canada which abolished the death penalty over 20 years ago.

[a-s-levynn]

random confession time, i need a mental hygene moment

when i say i’m tired ‘cause i had a bad night i don’t mean i had a hard time falling asleep, it neither means me having bad dreams or just randomly waking up in the middle of the night. that’s my usual sleeping experience. i refer to nights like yesterday, waking up with a dislocated finger.

[ghostnokia]

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[nicromancytarot]

ALL ABOUT YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE 18+ themes, lots of information!!

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

(This took me 3 days lmao, please like, follow and reblog)

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides what you need to know about your future spouse, pick a pile to find out!!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1 (TW sexual abuse)

“I need to take time for myself” “let’s take this to the next level” “i don’t want anyone else”

Their appearance

I’m seeing lighter hair, light brown to a blonde-white, I’m seeing they may have muscles, or just a nicely toned body. It also looks like their back may be very prominent to their appearance, they may work out extra to achieve really nice back muscles. They could honestly have a large top half and skinny bottom half (Miguel O’Hara for example.) I’m seeing someone quite tall, they may have an interesting shaped head, like not in a bad way, it might just appear more prominently on them. For a guy, long third leg.. (They allowed me to say this one.) Possible big ears, or maybe even wears earrings or something to highlight them. The right side of their face is the best for them lmao, they might pose showing their right side for pictures.

About them

They‘ve have been through some hardships in their life, they’ve been fucked over pretty bad in the past, and while they don’t like to dwell on it, I wanted to bring it up. It’s seeming like they may have gone through sexual assault, I’m seeing that they used to appear quite sexualised in the past, something they did themself, however, someone close to them felt valid enough to abuse their power and cause harm to your partner through their self-expression. This hurt your partner a lot, they’re still healing, I’m heading “please take your time with me” when it comes to sex, they have some extreme vulnerability about it, they need you to understand that; they’re begging me not to sexualise them, and they’re asking you nicely to do the same, give them the respect that someone thought was ok to steal from them.

Due to this mass betrayal, they appear very closed off to new love, they have a lot of people that want them, and fawn over them, but this situation has completely made them turn a blind eye to those who see them. It will take you a while to crack this person open, however once you do, it will be more than worth it.

They will be very slow to start this connection with you, but once they are sure that you can be trusted, and they feel safe around you, they will set up camp by your side, and they don’t plan on leaving.

Their career

They’re very financially successful, but I see that this took them a while, I think they began building up financial abundance due to wanting their family to be there for them, and take notice in their achievements.

In work I think they may be underestimated, appearing as the lioness, I can only be reminded of the over glamorisation of lions, and the societal irrelevancy of lionesses, even though they do more for the lion population than the lion, as a collective do for themselves. Unfortunately this being said, I see they are idolised for their body, rather than their talents (I’m getting Sidney Sweeney, and Vinnie Hacker for this, both talented people, who are only seen as pieces of meat, or some type of chew toy.) Your person is really disrespected and it’s making me so mad, man. They’re trying their hardest to break out of the stereotype, however I feel as though there are colleges of theirs that constantly sexualise them, making them feel very uncomfortable. Again, I’m getting the same message as before, they are yearning for someone to treat them like a human being, and not just a vessel of sex organs.

Their family

Mentioned prior, they do not have the best relationship with their family, I think there’s some deep-rooted and ínstense trauma from possible childhood, I see they were the type of child to get all perfect grades to try and impress, and make their parents proud, however I don’t think it worked. Their parents seem very self focused and absorbed in their own life, and business.

They assumed that becoming even more successful, making a name for themself, earning masses of money would make their family proud, but it never worked.

They may have cut their family out of their life, or they are considering it. If they don’t decide to cut their family off, it most likely comes from hope and fear, they are scared that their family won’t notice all their biggest achievements if they cut them out, and they hope that eventually they will be able to achieve something big enough so their family is proud of them. They blame themself a lot for “not being enough” and not making them proud.

How they are in bed

I was not able to get much for this, but I do see that they need to really be able to trust you fully before getting into bed with you, they need a lot of time and reassurance, they really need you to understand their fears. The first time you guys have sex, you may unintentionally bring up some hidden wounds, they’re telling me to tell you not to worry, they’ll look into your eyes and it’ll be gone. They may need eye contact the first time, they need that constant reminder that it’s you, and that you won’t hurt them.

They gave me a few explicit messages, so for that I got

“Cum on your face”

“Make a sex tape” (I feel like they would burn this onto a hard drive and keep it in a place only they know about, only showing you if you asked them to.)

“Food play”

When I got these messages, I had a fan on so I needed to put the papers under something so they didn’t fly away, I unknowingly put them under the chariot card, so I’m really getting again that you will need to work for this. The chariot was also the only sexual illustration I got.

Another thing is that they don’t want you telling your friends about your guys sex lives, they don’t want more people to sexualise them.

They also may finish very fast the first time, this could be out of sensation since I don’t think they would’ve had sex for a very long time by the time you guys meet and start dating.

Their love language

Acts of service, they enjoy doing things for the people that they care about, unfortunately it seems this has stemmed from their neglecting childhood, they feel as though they must do something for someone to feel loved. They do not quite understand that love is not a give to receive, you may have to be the one to teach them this. Your future spouse only believe people will love them if they do something for that person in return.

Quality time, they like to be with the people they care about, i’m seeing two people sat in silence on some arm chairs, one person is resting their head on their arm while scrolling aimlessly on their phone, meanwhile the other is reading a book, holding it with one hand as the other plays with the hand belonging to their counterpart, their fingers tracing the skin of their lover’s hand gently, fingers only just intertwining.

Their shadows

Your future spouse does not see their own self worth, they do not value themself as a person, or even a creator, whatever they do in life, they are a very creative and diverse person, yet they don’t feel that way. It’s as if they suffer from imposter syndrome, they never feel worthy of their achievements, because no one ever made them feel as though their success mattered.

They can be very closed off with their feelings, they become resentful towards their emotions and just wish they could rip the feelings from their body. They may say things they don’t mean in the moment, mostly because they don’t feel worthy of your love, but as soon as they realise what they have done, they will bring you to their chest and hug you tightly.

This reaction will never escalate further than a shout of anger.

I sense they might refuse therapy, you may have a lot of arguments about this, they try to tell themself that they do not need therapy, but this is mainly because they fear they will be laughed at, for coming to this person with trauma that even they struggle to understand, even after having gone through it. I would encourage you to try your best to get them to go to therapy, maybe even both of you together so you can get to know each other on a more intimate level.

Please be gentle with them my pile 1, they are truly a blessing of a soul.

PILE 2

“I’m not ready” “you’re too good for me” “let’s take this to the next level” (you may have been attracted to pile 1, if so maybe go check it out.)

Their appearance

Lighter hair, for a select few of you, it’s black. I think they might have longer hair, and like to wear it up, or they enjoy covering their head with a hat or other accessories. I’m getting medium height, maybe even shorter than you, or possibly only a little taller than you. I think they enjoy dressing more provocative, perhaps having shirt buttons undone, or just not wearing a shirt at all, they really like their body, and they know they have a good one. If they have abs, I would say they are there but quite faint, not toned, just enough to show. Their hair could be curly, or it’s just the first thing you notice when you meet them. I’m getting pirate vibes, they might dress up more like a pirate honestly, buttoned down blouses, a bandana on their head, their hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. The area of their nose, lips, philtrum, and chin is very prominent, a main focal point on their face. Their eyes make them look tired and drunk, the classic sleepy eyes. They may wear a lot of jewellery, specifically gold. Their skin seems more into the tanner tones for the dark haired individuals, they may be part of the latino/a community. For the people with lighter hair, I see they could be based around Europe.

About them

I hate fuelling delusions like this, but multiple cards are pointing to this person being an ex, it seems like they had your heart at one point and came back for more, after having messed up the first time. They do seem very remorseful for their previous mistakes, they want you to know that they were naive and selfish, they didn’t know how to treasure something as important, and valuable as your love, however they want you to know that they are ready now. I see they could have cheated on you in the past, left you for another person, or just been toxic with you, and just treated you badly. Please take in mind that I do not want you to get back with any super shitty ex, you have free will so don’t do that, however I do think this person has changed for the better. With the chariot, and hanged man, I’m seeing they worked on themself to be able to be good for you, it may have taken them a few years.

For those of you who’s future spouse is not an ex, I would say that the first time you guys met, there was a sense of competition and it turned you completely off from them, or they just came across rude, and arrogant while trying to impress you, and you just weren’t feeling it. They’re coming back around to show you how serious they actually are about making this relationship with you work. They will need some time, one sided enemies to lovers lmao.

Their career

I feel as though they have a good amount of material wealth, they seem to have everything they could desire, they could be a little bit of a workaholic, which possibly can cause some drama between you, you will need to remind them of how important spending time together is, they will listen, they are always willing to compromise with you.

Their job is one filled with a lot of competition, I’m honestly getting technology, they could work with technology, they could be under a tech company position, or maybe they even work from home doing their own thing on their computer.

They can appear secretive when it comes to their job, they’re not trying to keep it a secret, or hidden from you, they simply just don’t really think to talk about it that much. Lowkey, they could be a moderator for some type of famous streamer, (lmao??) or they could work in a position where they help people with managing publicity, like an agent or something.

This job does seem interesting, but it does come across a little like they do it more so for the money, than for an actual enjoyment that they find. Some of them do enjoy their job, but I don’t think they would stick with it, if it didn’t offer them the money and exposure that it does.

Their family

I honestly feel like it was their family’s influence that got them to start working on themself, I get the sense that their mother was possibly the one to force them into therapy, she may have even sat through his first session lol.

I think he’s mainly closest to the woman in his family, I’m getting a close friendship with their 1-2 sisters, possibly older, rather than younger. Im getting that they see them a little puppy that needs training, if you guys get into an argument, and they go to their sisters, the oldest one would be quick to correct your future spouse on their mistakes, and convince them to talk to you again and apologise for whatever they did.

Their family love you, if it’s a second chance scenario, they are so happy that you guys get another chance at loving each other, they truly want you to stay part of their family.

I’m seeing a young girl, possibly around the age of 5-6, you will be very close to her, I’m feeling it’s a niece or cousin, who is constantly around when you visit the rest of the family.

How they are in bed

They honestly appear quite vanilla, all bark no bite to be honest, they will say the flirtiest things to you, and they appear quite sexual, but once you get into the bedroom, they become all shy and reserved, there is a potential for you to bring them out of their shell however.

I’m seeing that sex for them is more-so about their own pleasure, they can seem a bit selfish during sex because of this, they may also see it as a way to compete with others, I’m hearing “I have them in a way that no one else ever will,” they may deal with a little bit of jealousy when it comes to your relationship, they are you as a very desired person, so they worry that someone will steal you away from them, being intimate with you is like proof to them that you are there’s and no one else could have you in such a compromising position.

They may finish really fast, I’m seeing someone who is struggling to keep their attraction in, the way your eyes penetrate into theirs will have them a stuttering mess, unexpectedly pushing them to their climax, though I feel like you will be nowhere near your own. You may need to help them with how to pleasure you, so you also reach your destination!

They could be a virgin, they don’t seem very experienced, they may have even waited for marriage, so this could be the night of your wedding.

They’re on top, it makes them feel more masculine and in charge of the situation, I also think they need to be able to pick their own pace to make sure they don’t overwhelm themself the first time.

They will be bursting with anticipation every time you initiate something with them.

They may have a desire to watch you touch yourself, they know about the important places of pleasure for people of your gender, however they don’t know exactly how to treat those places, so they may ask you to touch yourself to show them, this could lead to an intense session of mutual masterbation, for the select few of you, this will come before your wedding, they’ll ask you about how they should pleasure you on your wedding night, and you will show them, they will get into the mood as well and join you in the bed, this will almost make them cave in and take you there and then.

“Pull my hair”

“You make me so hard/wet”

“Let me taste”

Their open to whatever you’re into, just give them time to adjust to the new sensations of sex first, before you spring any random kinks onto them.

Their love language

Physical touch, they enjoy being around you and putting their hands on you at any chance they get, they like to hold your hand, to wrap their arms around your waist, they just like how you feel under their touch, if they feel like they’re working too much, they will invite you to sit with them, possibly on their lap so they can have you with them.

They like their bare skin to touch yours, I don’t think they sleep with much on, maybe shirtless with a pair of underwear, they will press their front of your back, making sure their bare chest hits your bare back, and back of shoulders.

Gift giving, they like to buy you things, I think it’s in a way of trying to make up for how they treated you in the past, they use their money to prove to you how serious they are about you and their relationship with you, they’re very possessive of their material wealth, so sharing it with you is something massive, and unexpected. If you see something in the store window, they’ll notice you even as much as glanced at it, and they will make sure it belongs to you in no time.

Their shadows

Their can appear a little selfish at times, I think they’ve had to protect and defend themself all their life, so now they feel as though shutting people out and not letting them in is the best answer to cure and keep away any upcoming insecurities.

Your future spouse needs to lose things to understand how much they actually mean to them, they don’t appreciate things enough until it’s taking away from them, luckily for them, they tend to work hard enough to manage to get this back, ensuring that it will never be taken away again.

Their downplay their transformations, they don’t exaggerate, but honestly the complete opposite, they feel as though their past and their future and two completely different identities, they need constant reminders that their success is still their success, no matter how long ago it was.

PILE 3

“I don’t want anyone else” “do you feel the same?” “you’re the only one I want in my life” (again, you could’ve also been attracted to pile 1, I wouldn’t recommend going back up however, I think it may have been the warning that caught your eye rather than the pile itself!)

Their appearance

I’m getting chestnut brown, to black hair, for a woman, it’s casts down her back, quite long. For a man, It’s around medium length, maybe just above their shoulders. Their back is very prominent in this pile, I feel like they have nicely defined back muscles, however I do not think they are an incredibly muscular person. They could honestly dress more punk/emo, wearing black leather jackets which are decorated, and bedazzled with silver spikes, I do see a possibility for a more alternative style for men, feminine outifts for women, types of styles that accentuates their hips and bust.

They might like going outside a lot, they’d be the type to suggest a camping trip, so they wear clothes that are suitable, and durable for being outside for extended periods of time. Big black boots is another thing I’m getting, their hair could also be spiked up for a select few of you. (I’m honestly picking up Johnnie Gilbert similarities for this pile, maybe Johnnie’s future wife is watching, and they just don’t know, that’s crazy.)

About them

They know better than to overwork themself, they may be the type that needs to mentally recharge after being around people for too long, they also seem to take in a lot of energy when around people, they’re like a little portable charger, however this does mean that they get burnt out very quickly. Luckily, they are not one to ignore the signals of their body and mind, so if they need to rest and be alone for a little, they will do that, this can however make them appear a tad aloof.

I don’t think they’re the best at expressing their emotions, they keep them hidden for a reason, I believe out of fear of judgment, or getting hurt again. I’m seeing someone who may have been cheated on by an ex partner, I don’t imagine they got closure on whatever this situation was, if it wasn’t cheating, it was some type of intense betrayal. They may appear a bit condescending at times, this is their way of trying to push you away before you find out about their feelings, they weirdly think you will leave them or condemn them for showing any natural, human emotion.

Their hardworking in all areas of their life, mainly self improvement, they want to become the best version of themself, so their partner can be comfortable with them. I do see that they will have a dramatic change of circumstance, or just who they are as a person, around the time that they meet you, which would be done for you, or for some of you, they will improve themself right before you guys meet, this change in their life will bring you to them.

Their career

They have a job where their workload and work time is flexible, they have the ability to not work one day, and pick up the work the next day if they so please. This is good because it means they will be making sure they always have time for you, to make you feel appreciated.

Their job is focused around nurturing responsibility, they are a leader of their area, but not a leader overall, they may have some type of job where they have to be a role model for people of a younger age, mild fame or influencing is showing strongly (bro which one of you are Johnnie’s wife, this is getting too specific.)

The job brings in a lot of material abundance, I don’t see they have to worry about too much, other than understanding that their work can be overwhelming, and that they need to pace themself, allowing themself to take breaks is super important with this pile.

It’s a job that offers them long term stability, and more money with the higher their position gets, if this person is mildly famous, or some type of influencer, the more fame and fans they gain, the more money they will be raking in, however they do need to remember where their loyalties lie, and always make sure to appreciate the fandom that gave them what they have now.

Their family

Their family are so different from them lmao, like polar opposites, I’m seeing the sweetest mother who always makes baked goods, sometimes they can appear a little interesting, but taste good nonetheless. Their father calls them by a nickname which your future spouse hates, their father is really sweet, I’m getting someone a little more laidback, who would rub your partners hair to mess it up for absolutely no reason.

You will feel very welcome into this family, they do not discriminate since their son/daughter/child has gone through some intense stuff in their life, and they are just thankful that you are able to bring them security, and safety, your person could’ve struggled badly with mental health, and it may have worried their family, so their parents are super happy that you’re able to keep them happy. However, please remember that someone’s mental health is not your responsibility solely.

How they are in bed

I don’t think they would’ve had sex for a while before you guys got together, I think they may have done some type of sexual cleanse, they were possibly a fuck boy/girl in the past, so they quit it to help themself improve and be the best version of themself.

They may need a little while to really get ready to be intimate with you, it might come as a conversation that the two of you share, explaining that you would like to have sex with them, and them setting a date for it so nothing can go wrong. I see them prepping by shaving their entire body lmao, they’re going all out, if it’s a man, they’re going to get so many cuts in all the wrong places, and they will definitely complain about it to you. They do expect you to be as prepared as they are, so get yourself ready, find yourself a nice, new perfume and get to it.

I do not think they will have sex with you outside of the relationship, I feel as though they have so many sexual requests from people, it makes them feel only valuable for their body, they don’t want to be seen as just a warm body that you get to lay under, the first time you are intimate with them. You have to prove yourself before sex, and even then, it may take a while. I’m getting around eight to ten months after dating, they really don’t want to be fooled and used for their body, especially after their sexual cleanse.

They like to be on top, they may honestly end up sweating and shivering at the end of it, like that one scene from Titanic when Jack is shaking in the carriage while laying on top of Rose with a blanket.

The sex will get progressively more rough and interesting over time, but the first time is just pure love making.

“Look into my eyes”

“Fuck you silly”

“Tie you up”

I’m getting that they will need aftercare more than you will, while both of you will be giving it to each other, they are a lot more in need of it, I feel like you would be fine to just go into the kitchen and make yourself something to eat, meanwhile they desire to be in your arms for the next couple of hours.

Their love language

Physical touch, they need to be at least holding your hand at all times, they would lowkey like to wear a lipstick stain you created on their cheek or jaw, they like people to know that you are theirs, and they are yours. They may also really like when you give them hickeys, they will absolutely allow those to be on show for everyone to see, they are too proud to hide them. They like to hold your stomach? Perhaps it’s when you sleep, they like to rest their hand on your stomach, or perhaps they want to get you pregnant, they may be very serious about having kids sometime in the future.

Words of affirmation, they really appreciate when you tell them how good they look, or how the outfit they’re wearing is amazing on their body. They specifically enjoy your compliments, you have a way with explaining things, that makes it seem so much more authentic and honest, they trust your judgment a lot. I do see they have a tendency to feel very insecure, and although so many people tell them how beautiful they are, your future spouse struggles to believe them, thinking it’s some kind of sick joke, but they know you would never joke or make fun of them about that. You’ll be very surprised to find out about their insecurities, you may even think they’re playing with you the first time they mention it, this could make them feel invalidated, so be careful how you tackle this!

Their shadows

They constantly ignore their problems, they have an “out of sight, out of mind” way of thinking, which is just barbaric because it means they don’t sort through their issues and instead push them out of the way. You may need to help them with healing from some past trauma, and realising that they are allowed to feel hurt and anger from those past situations, as they were not at all ideal.

Your future spouse is quick to push people away when they feel as though they’ve said too much, and opened up more than they desired to, due to this, there may be a few times when you feel helpless, and they seem helpless, this is something you can work through together.

They get very defensive, very quickly, if you say something that unintentionally triggers them, they will shut off, going into some type of hermit mode until they feel ready to talk about whatever it is that bothered them.

[713-4th-ward-g]

[evermoortarot]

I remember when tumblr was just brimming with witches and mystically inclined people who were sharing potions, sigils, grounding techniques, spells, tarot teaching, and so much more.

I disconnected for quite some time from it all because I associated my past practice with harmful dynamics that caused me a lot of pain. Truth is, as much as you learn, when you’re young you are young. You are naive and curious and you romanticize everything. Our imagination is most heightened the younger we are and our rational brain is still developing. I realize my practice had nothing to do with the toxic relationships I had (not just with others but with myself) and I am in control of what my practice means to me.

I miss the magick. I miss my tarot and my astrology readings and I miss the fulfillment affirming truths for others gave me as well as my readers. I miss connecting so deeply to others through a common purpose of wanting to heal others through spiritual means. I miss my affirmations and my herbalism and it’s so funny that I somehow always find myself coming back to plants, back to nature itself, and back to my small witchy beginnings.

I want to embrace the community again, now wiser and older and more knowledgeable in plants and the world then I was 8-10 years ago.

If the community is still here, please reach out. I miss my past connections but what is meant to be, will be. We have drifted and it was for the best. I hope to connect with new wonderful witches, herbalists, and spiritualists.

[gb-patch]

GB Patch Games: Sensitivity Reader Update

Okay, well I am able to make another statement before Rose does. I can now explain much more easily why I didn’t fire Rose. There’s been new developments with the leakers. The people behind this have doxed Rose’s discord account (please don’t go looking for it) and also shared a screenshot of an email that was sent to my support address months ago. They believe that incriminates us somehow, but really all it’s done is shown in broad daylight what they were doing and why I was defending Rose so much. If I had brought up that email as a connection to this myself people understandably would’ve thought I was making a conspiracy.

However, it is out now. Here is the story- a few months ago someone who wanted to remain anonymous sent me an email with a screenshot where Rose called me a cracker. And I told them I appreciated the concern but it’s alright, was there evidence of Rose being unkind to players? They had nothing. No response.

As an aside, yes, I have been aware for a long time that Rose uses crude language when talking about me. That doesn’t mean I’ve hidden how evil they were from players. It means I’m allowed to choose what I’m comfortable with. That original “reveal” didn’t shock or upset me in any way. Our Life is a sensitive, wholesome game, but I’m a full-grown adult. I’m not innocent or pure. The game I released before OL is XOXO Blood Droplets. Something I wrote and released to the public is full of crude jokes, curse words, and violence. It’s cartoonish and comical, but edgy. Rose themselves likes to BS with bad words and I’m not accepting abuse because I think getting called a pussy is funny. I know Rose doesn’t hate me or wish me any harm. Rose also isn’t causing “discourse” for me and my games on purpose, they were joking that bringing up serious topics is “discourse” to some people. Ironically, the leakers who did this are trying to make some “discourse” on purpose.

Regardless, I initially thought that email was from someone earnestly worried for me and that they moved on when it was clear I was fine. But that’s not what happened. Them and at least one other person have been waiting for months to bring this up again. They went through almost a year’s worth of Rose’s private posts to collect as many unflattering screenshots as they could, and then they didn’t send them to me. They posted them publicly. I had a suspicion from the get go that it was the same person/people from before who couldn’t prove anything to me in private. And if true, how horrible is it that a bunch of the comments they shared were crude language towards me, something they already knew I’d brush off as nothing. They decided for me that it was wrong and they wanted the rest of the players to do the same. Or even less charitably, those extra posts were simply there to make Rose look as bad and untrustworthy as possible and they didn’t care that I was comfortable with it. I could not explain everything we were thinking/feeling at first, but behind the scenes we were discussing how this was personally motivated and not a knee-jerk act without forethought. And we do know for certain at least the main people involved now, and they do have personal issues with Rose.

Also, if you still believe that they just wanted to help the game at any length because Rose is that huge of a risk, showing that email and framing something innocuous about me (not fainting at the word “cracker” and politely being open to more proof) as serious “evidence of wrongdoing” at GB Patch Games makes me believe they want to smear Rose so bad they’ll try to turn players against me as well. Plus, the post is framed as “this email was anonymously sent to me”, but we know from account details that the people who could’ve gotten those screenshots of the discord and email are the same people who sent that email and started this situation, which is embarrassing. I’ve confirmed the screenshots shared in the email to me and the original public post came from the same private, “venting-safe” discord server. There’s very few people in there. We know it’s still you and not a separate source. I can’t prove they think I’m stupid or in their way, but I can’t see how anything they’re doing is trying to be beneficial to the creation of OL: NF. They told me in the email they’d give me more evidence if I requested it and I was ready to know, but instead they went silent for months and then did this.

I want it to be clear that this doesn’t mean players can’t wonder if Rose has enough experience to be a sensitivity reader right now, or to worry they’re so invested in the game that it’s going to effect how objective they are with their feedback, or to say that Rose is flawless and has never done anything hurtful. However, I hope you can understand why I was on Rose’s side and couldn’t just fire them over this. It felt so incredibly unfair. If another person tries to get their way by doing this in the future, I will not hail them as a hero and immediately fire at the target. And I don't tolerate any racial harassment of any kind to anyone on my team.

If those people want to continue to share Rose’s private posts in retaliation, you can fuck off. If you somehow reveal now that Rose is secretly a murderer, I’m not gonna apologize and say I was so wrong about you. If you had tons of evidence of Rose being horrible to players, you should’ve sent it all to me and with full context to begin with in the email like you offered to do. I just don’t understand.

Any players who like to see someone’s least flattering points portrayed in the worst possible way and continue flocking to the leaks as fandom drama, I don’t want you in this fandom. I don’t want you to enjoy my games.

Anyone who has been truly hurt by this and are left confused and angry, I do completely understand that. I didn’t know how to handle this, and it made a lot of people not know how to keep trusting me. I am still looking into getting a community manager to help me better communicate with players, especially when something serious happens. And I’ll always be around for you to reach out to if you have doubts about anything.

[heechwe]

midnight faith | 𝐩𝐣𝐬

୨୧ pairing: park jongseong (jay) x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 2.5K ୨୧ genre: fluff, semi-angst, smut ୨୧ tags: werewolf!jay, established relationship, pet names (darling, sweetheart, etc.), biting, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, knotting, creampie, cock stuffing, breeding kink ୨୧ synopsis: You know his history and where he comes from, both being huge factors that affect your current relationship, but all you care about is your future together. ➸ banner created by @hobeemin ♡

The grass surrounding the blanket underneath your back prickles your ankles. Jay sits crisscrossed next to you, observing the way the sunlight peers through the forest trees and paints your skin. His breath goes in and out in uneven increments, and you open one eye to look at your boyfriend. You’ve had your eyes closed for the past ten minutes, focusing on Jay and all he had to tell you about his history, pre-werewolf and all. The boy is practically shaking at the fact you haven’t responded to any of it, but with a smirk, you reply, “So it really isn’t just caused by a bite?”

Both of you laugh, the sound reverberating around your patch of grass. In relief, Jay sinks to a resting position on his stomach beside you and props his chin on your chest. “Yeah, that’s not exactly how that story goes. Well, at least for me it didn’t.”

You run your fingers through his hair. “So it was a genetic thing?”

He nods. “My parents thought maybe it would skip a generation since my grandfather didn’t inherit it from his father. Sadly for them, I came home after some party scared as all hell, wondering why the fuck I had claws and this desire to run on all fours.” 

You giggle as Jay takes one of your hands into his and kisses your knuckles. “After a while, I learned how to control the shift, but I shut myself away from everyone, especially my parents. Because of them, it was this huge rush to understand myself, my abilities, and my family’s history. The one thing I couldn’t get over then was that it wasn’t a choice. It was always something I was born with.

“But, it’s all in the past now.” Jay sighs and presses his cheek to your stomach.

“Well, parts of it are. But, Seongie, it still gets to you and affects how you are around people. Sometimes, you act like everyone’s fragile when you’re around, like you won’t be able to control your impulses or actions, so you don’t let yourself truly be yourself. Including me.”

He looks back up to you, recognizing the truth in your words. “I try not to,” he whispers, moving so your faces are at eye level, his lips an inch away. “I just don’t want to hurt anyone, especially not you.” Pain flashes over his features, too strong for him to ignore. “I don’t fear a lot of things, but the possibility I could harm you scares the fuck out of me.”

The vulnerability Jay can often hide so well is written all over him. His hands shake and his bottom lip is tucked between his teeth, but it only takes the well of tears in his eyes to strike a knife through your chest. Your boyfriend may be a supernatural creature, but it wouldn’t take a genius to see the guy’s immense capacity for kindness. The way his eyes widened in fear when he shook your father’s hand when they first met, the whispers of a lullaby he sang to your sister’s newborn daughter when you had to babysit her, and his adorable fascination with tiny animals prove all of his fears will never become a reality. “Baby, you don’t have a harmful bone in your body. You may have impulses as a wolf, but there’s no way you would hurt someone on purpose.” The wind brushes through the trees as you speak, barely covering the tremble in your voice. “And you would never hurt me.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you wouldn’t be so scared if you didn’t love me, and I love you enough to know all the fear is in your head. You just have to trust yourself.” 

You brush your mouth against him, and the sound of the wind in the brush and the heat of the sun ebbs away. Your reassurance and touch ease his worries until it’s only you and Jay, nestled against a soft blanket away from the world and lost in each other with the soft collide of each other’s lips and tongues.

Jay grunts and backs away from you, a heady expression flashing across his eyes.

Breathless, you reach for his hand. “Is that what you meant by hurting me?”

He nods, saying your name while trying to slow down the fast pace of his heartbeat. “I love you, and I never want to hurt you, but what if I didn’t mean to? I mean, I can’t even kiss you without feeling like I’m losing control. How could I make love to you?”

You shake your head and reach for him, his body and yours coming into contact instantly.

“Because we trust each other, and we use that trust to know and respect our limits. If you’re scared, we stop. If I don’t like something, I'll tell you.” You smile, nipping at his lips with a quick peck. “Besides, I wouldn’t mind losing control with you. I feel that way with you a lot of the time anyway.”

Jay chuckles and kisses you, rendering you breathless. “God, what am I gonna do with you?” 

It sounds more like a statement than a question when it leaves his lips, but you grin regardless. “A lot of things, I hope. Right now, I just want you to kiss me some more.”

And as Jay lies you down onto the blanket with his mouth attached to yours and quickly trailing down your neck, you listen to the sound of his breath and the trickles of the river, forgetting his fears the longer he holds you in his arms.

The moonlight bathes your bedroom in blue shadows, the color of Jay’s brown eyes more hypnotic than ever before. His bare chest quietly heaves up and down, unsure of where to start first. Shaky hands hold your waist against him, too scared to venture further than where they are at in the current moment.

Standing in front of him now, underwear-clad and more sure of him than he is in himself, you kiss him to quell his fears. You hope the act is as reassuring as it feels. “I trust you,” you promise him.

He nods, his lips turning at the corners despite what anxieties still linger in his body. You kiss him harder, dissipating what is left of his resolve. He wraps his arms tighter around you, nails digging into the small of your back when you press your tongue inside of his mouth.

Jay takes his lips from yours, his breath ragged. “If anything is too much,” he says, “you have to tell me.”

“Cross my heart,” you tease, but sincerity is still present in your tone.

Suddenly, he lifts you up and wraps your legs around his waist, the act knocking the wind out of your lungs. Half a dozen kisses meet the column of your throat before Jay bites down on the skin. He sucks and licks at the pieces he’s bitten, marking you for himself as he lays you down gently onto the bed.

You can barely think straight as he rips the material of your bra off of you in a quick motion, the sounds of the seams ripping apart hitting your ears. He inhales a shaky breath, mesmerized by the swell of your breasts under the cover of nightfall.

“You’re so breathtaking, you know that?” Jay phrases it more as a statement than a question. You blush and try to hide your face with your hands, but he takes your palms in his instead. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

Your heart clenches. “Neither do you.” You sit up to take his face in your hands, kissing both of his cheeks before once again meeting your mouth with his.

A low rumble emits from his throat, the groan shooting to the space between your legs. You moan into his mouth, taking one of his hands and pressing it to the cotton covering your clit.

“I want you this much because I trust you, Seongie.”

He mumbles out a curse. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not going to. Please,” you say, dipping his hand inside your underwear to feel the pooing wetness. “I need you to touch me.”

Without warning, his eyes glow a bright hazel in the darkness of your bedroom. The hunger he’s tried so long to suppress seems to come over him in a wave. His hands press you back down into the mattress and his face comes into contact with your underwear. You can feel his breath against your center, and you want more than anything for him to bury his mouth there and leave you a mess in the sheets.

“Jongseong,” you call out, “please.”

He smirks and takes his hands to the corners of your underwear to yank them down. Not violently, but with a serious edge that takes you back. Where was the shy boy that you began the night with?

“Use your words, pet,” Jay demands with a growl.

“Put your mouth on me, please.”

“That’s better.” The cool temperature of your room on your body is replaced by Jay’s tongue, the man you love licking lavishly between your folds. You’re unsure how he’s never done this before when he knows exactly how to make you buck your hips into his awaiting mouth. He’s already so perfectly in tune with your body, knowing when to take time away from your pussy to swirl his tongue around your clit. 

Moans and gasps leave you in quick succession. Your hand buries itself in his hair, and he continues to growl and groan into your center to make you shake even harder.

“I know you’re close, my love. Don’t hold back on me now.” He takes a second to kiss the insides of your thighs before diving back into your pussy. With a long swipe of his mouth from your perineal to your clit, you cry out as your orgasm washes over you.

You take your hand from Jay’s hair when you come down, wiping the sweat off of your forehead with a laugh. “That was–”

Jay smirks and bites his bottom lip. “I’m not done with you yet, pet.” He presses your lips against his, the taste of you filling your mouth when he slips his tongue inside. “Flip over for me.”

You do as he commands as he takes both his jeans and briefs off quickly. By the time he pushes your hips back against him, his cock brushes against your entrance and the wetness from your previous release.

“Fuck,” he whispers, letting himself be coated in your arousal before moving any further. He loves the feeling of your body wiggling against his for any kind of friction, your legs spent and weakened from the pleasure you just received. But he’s going to love it even more when he feels you wrapped around him fully. “Ready, my love?”

“Yes,” you gasp.

Sliding inside of you is so easy with your earlier slick, causing garbled moans to leave both of your mouths at the same time. Jay chastises himself for waiting this long to be intimate with you knowing now how exquisite it feels to have your walls pulsing around him, welcoming his body like he was always meant to be there. Around you, inside of you, calling him yours.

He begins a slow rhythm, thrusting in and out at a comfortable pace, He laces his fingers with yours, wondering how he was so lucky to find someone so understanding, so beautiful, so patient. Anyone else would not have been so stubborn to cut through the many walls he put up, but he’s grateful to have found you who was willing to do the work so effortlessly.

These thoughts make any sense of uncertainty dissipate completely. And in doing so, his control loosens and desire heightens to an unfathomable degree as he watches your body ease up and down his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jay curses, his length swelling to the point he cannot think about anything but your pulsing walls around him. His body is locked to yours, this cock cinched to the point he knows it’s too late to slow down or stop. He had only ever heard of this prior with his brothers and friends who also shared his genetic disposition. But now, knowing it isn’t just a myth and he has no control until he fully releases inside of you, he has never been more turned on in his life.

Knowing he’ll fall apart inside of you, make you as swollen as he feels, is enough for him to come then and there. But Jay knows depriving you of a second orgasm when you’re this close would be cruel. And he’s anything but a cruel person.

He pounds harder into you and wraps an arm around you to find your clit with his fingers, rubbing the bud tenderly. It’s an insatiable mixture of heady and delicate; so intimate you wish you could kiss him while he thrusts deeply from behind you.

“Seongie, I’m so close.”

“Me too, my love. I could stay here all night,” he grunts his beautiful, filthy words into the space between you, the sounds accompanied by the meeting of your bodies. “You want that too, don’t you? Want to be filled up with nothing but my cum, belonging to nobody but me, huh?”

“Y-yes, more than anything,” you confess, loving the intimacy of his explicitness.

“So dirty for me. So perfect.” He kisses the center of your back as he continues to plow mercilessly into you.

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna–” You have no time to finish your sentence as the second release floods your senses, the feeling in your body as bright as the moonlight and heavy as the sweat coating both of your bodies.

You barely have time to recover as Jay also comes a few seconds after, bottoming out as he releases. He refuses to let any of his cum go to waste, continuing to thrust inside of you in spite of your sensitivity. You mumble about it being too much and for him to pull out soon, but he’s focused on making sure none of him spills out.

When he’s satisfied, he releases you and lets you fall onto the comforter of your bed, spent and exhausted.

You giggle as he places kisses all over your sweaty face. “Jay, please.”

“What? I can’t kiss you now?” He asks, burying his face in your neck.

“You can when I’m not gross.”

“I think you’ve never looked more beautiful.” He grabs your palm and kisses each finger individually.

“Stop it,” you say, bashful. Jay knows you know it’s true, though. How could he not think so, completely in love and satisfied with your body filled with nothing but him?

He wraps the both of you in your blankets, his chest against your back. He’s never felt closer to you than in this moment, and he could not ask for more.

Well, besides another round in the morning.

“I love you,” he says before falling asleep nestled close to you.

“I love you too, babe,” you respond, feeling the thrum of his heartbeat and the glow of the moonlight as your eyelids close.

@mini-mews @jayparked @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊

@kvanity-main @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators

[mysumeow]

. . . ꒰ TO LURE IN

ᓚᘏᗢ WARNINGS: Reader is described with AFAB genitalia and breasts, referred to with you/your. YANDERE CHARACTER. Kidnapping, mild descriptions of injuries and blood. As for sexual content: piv unprotected sex, reader on top, restraints (ropes used on reader), thighjob. Kinich takes a dominant role. Not proofread 🙈. Art by 0_0himawa

ᓚᘏᗢ SUMMARY: You suspect Kinich's not taking care of himself well. Used to looking out for him since childhood, you decide to find out by yourself the truth.

ᓚᘏᗢ WORD COUNT: 3.6k

Ajaw’s fame preceded him.

Rude, spiteful, and tactless, to be precise. The “Almighty Dragon” lived for pushing his companion’s buttons as far as possible, making fun of him, and expressing his desire for him to perish soon.

That’s the reason why you didn’t believe Ajaw when he “informed” you Kinich put himself in harm’s way on purpose so you would heal his wounds.

Your reaction was to obviously scoff at him and disregard his stupid statement.

“I still remember that time you tried to trick people into jumping off a cliff without a rope. I wouldn’t believe a word that comes from someone like you.”

“Fine! Allow yourself to be manipulated by this moron, be my guest!” Ajaw mouthed off in his typical Ajaw style. “Your puny human brain won’t let you see the obvious signs!”

Kinich was unfazed by the self-proclaimed dragon lord, used to his antics. “Shut up, or I’ll put you in time out. Do you want that?”

While they were bickering, you assessed his physique.

Overall, he was fine. However, he came back with gashes on his left arm. They were dripping with blood, and yet he was more focused on trying to quiet Ajaw down.

“Though target this time?” You gently held his wounded arm to get a clear view of how deep it was. Contrary to last time you cured a begrudging Kinich, this one was longer.

“It’s barely anything to get worried about. I was going to cure it myself before coming here, but I got caught up with something before I could,” he said, moving his arm away from your touch, not deeming the help necessary. “This happens all the time.”

“Knowing you, you’ll just go on with your day. Come here, let me help you.”

You expected Kinich to resist again, but he didn’t. He followed you into your home and waited for you to come back with whichever supply you needed to heal him. Kinich observed you in silence, his half-lidded eyes surveyed your every movement as if you were his next hunt while you rinsed the wounds and whatnot to disinfect them.

It was hard to concentrate with him staring at you.

“You’re lucky those aren’t deep enough to need stitches.” You eased the tension and backed away with a step. “I don’t know how you got those cuts, but be more careful.”

“It was caused by an oversight of mine. Not a common occurrence for me,” he looked down at the gauze wrapped around his arms. “I thought the trap I set for the yumkasaur was stable, and when I got close to it, it lunged its claws at me.” 

Ajaw, who was silent up until now, quipped back with, “Yeah, not a common occurrence for a seasoned hunter to make such a rookie mistake!”

In the blink of an eye, he was gone. Kinich sent him to Ajaw Jail.

“I’m sorry if he gave you a headache with all that shouting.”

“I’m used to it. When he talks, I kind of zone out, haha.”

Kinich chuckled. “That’s how I deal with his ramblings most of the time, too.”

As much as you enjoyed Kinich’s company, the sun was setting and you both had work to do the next morning. The pleasant encounter had to be cut short.

The following couple of weeks, Kinich stopped visiting you for injury-related motives. Given you’ve been close since childhood, it wasn’t uncommon for you two to visit each other every so often. 

You were starting to wonder about his sudden lack of visits, until he appeared in front of your doorstep suddenly. He wasn’t alone, though. 

“Smack some reason into him, please.” Mualani begged, making it sound like the missing piece to understand Kinich’s psyche was you. “I had to drag him all the way here before he died from blood loss. He didn’t want to come.” 

“You’re exaggerating,” was everything he had to say in his favor. “I just didn’t want to cause an inconvenience.”

The poor fabric of his upper clothes was torn apart with a clean cut across his chest. Lacerations caused by saurians were different. This one? It was kindred to the result of a dagger or another man-made weapon. You recalled Ajaw’s insistence on Kinich’s growing carelessness.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mualani interjected, concerned by your abrupt silence.

“Ah, yes, I’m fine.” You shook your head out of your thoughts and walked closer to Kinich to have a good look at him.

“Okay, then. It’s just, for a moment, you seemed antsy…” Your friend’s troubled expression relaxed, and, at your assurance, she went back to her bubbly mood. “We’ve been witnesses to worse wounds than that. Especially you, since you’re a doctor.”

“No doubt about it,” you nodded and went back to Kinich. “I’ll have to stitch this. This one has been one of the worst I’ve seen you come back with. What it a miscalculation?”

“It wasn’t a miscalculation. I was commissioned by someone, and when I got to the place they requested, I was ambushed.”

“You were outnumbered in combat, and yet all they got to inflict on you was this? That’s impressive, I’ve got to say,” Mualani nodded along with Kinich’s story.

You led Kinich to his usual seat, and you got to work.

“Kinich’s a seasoned warrior,” you couldn’t help but praise. “However! If you must retreat, then retreat! It’s not worth your effort trying to put some bitter folks in their place.”

“Mmh.”

“You better listen to the doctor’s advice, Kinich! I won’t forgive you if you keep putting the doctor under stress,” Mualani sighed and crossed her arms, contemplative, before she looked at you. “You’ve always been taking care of Kinich, since you both were children. I value your patience.”

Once your handiwork was ready, you gave your patient a word of caution.

“You should rest for the following three weeks, or else your wound could open again.”

For some reason, Kinich was taken aback by your instructions. He blinked twice, analyzing what you just said.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Put them on hold. Three weeks,” you insisted and placed your hands on his forearms, Kinich’s eyes locked on yours.

“Alright.” With a resigned tone, he agreed and got ready to leave.

Mualani stayed for a little longer.

“You said you had to drag him here? Why?” You couldn’t help but wonder. Now that he was gone, it was your time to question.

“You know how he is. He isn’t fond of receiving help from anyone, and he was convinced he could deal with it himself.”

“Mualani… I’m worried about him. Ajaw mentioned something about Kinich being inattentive on purpose during his hunts. I found it hard to believe because: why would he have a reason to do that? And second, I don’t trust Ajaw.”

She stayed in contemplative silence for a second. “You’re right, that’s unlike him. Hm… I’ll keep an eye on him for you.”

“Thank you,” you felt a bit more at ease. “It’s getting late. You should head home and rest.”

“You should rest too. See you.” She smiled and waved a hand at you.

To rest, it was something you wanted to do. Nonetheless, your worry regarding Kinich wouldn’t allow it. You paced back and forth, trying to figure out whether you were overthinking or whether your unease had an actual foundation.

You supposed Kinich’s line of work was prone to lesions, even if talking about someone experienced. There were factors that one simply can’t have under control always. He wasn’t one to come back this bruised and damaged this often. 

Maybe something was bothering him? Was something keeping him up at night? That could explain his lack of attention during the day.

The more you pondered about it, the more uncertainty grew with it. You were antsy and thus decided to go see him. You had a hunch something wrong was about to happen, and you couldn’t ignore the feeling. 

He had to be home. If he really heeded your instructions, then he should be there.

The lights in his house were off. He was probably in bed already.

You felt silly. You were fretting over nothing.

As you were about to head back to your house, footsteps caught your attention.

The urge to question him about what he was doing outside instead of resting was strong, however…

You decided it was a better idea to limit yourself to observation.

Despite Kinich’s forwardness, he could be reticent about opening up about certain things. Since you’ve known him for a good portion of your life, you suspected that if you were to outright ask him about what was going on with him recently, he would try to convince you nothing was amiss.

And thus, this was how you found yourself following him in the dead of night. Concealed in complete darkness, and said darkness became more apparent once you were out of the comfort of human inhabited areas. The thought of turning back was tempting, but your resolve for answers was sturdier.

You followed him into the forest and made sure to keep up with him as much as possible. Thankfully, Kinich’s stride was tranquil the whole time. He arrived at a clearing and sat his bags down. You stayed behind the foliage and noticed he brought with him a camping tent.

You didn’t know the details of how exactly he plans his hunts, but you surmised that perhaps this camping arrangement had something to do with it.

So, he wasn’t planning on resting.

“You—”

Before you could finish your reprimand, you stepped on something that awoke a contraption. In the blink of an eye, a rope quickly secured around your ankle, leaving you upside down.

At the sound, Kinich was swift on his feet and found you.

“…”

“…”

“What are you doing?”

“Does it look like I’m having fun here? Help me already!” You were flustered.

He took a Swiss knife out of his pocket to cut the rope. He caught you in time and didn’t suffer harm.

“Now, will you answer my question?” He placed you back on the ground gently.

You exhaled, making your stress clear. “You’ve been acting strange as of late. Plus, I wanted to make sure you would take a break and allow your wounds to heal. That’s why…”

“You stalked me?” He finished for you.

“I was worried, okay?” You huffed, feeling the rise in heat on your face again. By definition, he was right. That didn’t mean it was any less embarrassing for you.

“Pfft—”

Kinich, whose face was in his usual serious expression, switched to a smile. He covered his mouth as he chuckled; for some reason, he’d found amusement in your confession.

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just—” His soft laughter died down a bit, allowing him to speak. “I knew you were following me.”

You gaped at him.

“I wanted to see how you would try to explain yourself. Again, I’m sorry. Both for poking fun at you and for making you worry.”

“If you think a simple apology’s enough for my forgiveness, you’re wrong. I’m going back home.”

He grabbed your wrist before you could take another step away. “You won’t make it. You’ll get lost. Stay with me.”

Kinich’s watchful eyes glinted with intent under the moonlight.

“There’s enough space for the two of us in there.” He began setting the tent up with ease. He was used to sleeping outdoors and knew how to set it up with little hindrance.

“Hey, where’s Ajaw? I haven’t seen him today.”

“In timeout.”

Whereupon it was ready for use, he waited for you to get in before he zipped the entrance behind him.

For reduced space like this, the tent inside looked comfortable.

“Huh, this is more spacious than what I expected. Do you often…?”

Your voice lowered in surprise when you saw him slide his jumpsuit off, leaving him in the black clothes he wore under it. Was he really going to undress with you in here?

“You were saying?”

“Uhm. I was going to ask if you often camp outside to complete hunting commissions...”

“Whenever I deem it necessary. For example, if I think the target will give me more trouble than other ones,” he undid his headband and folded it next to his discarded jumpsuit. Kinich without his headband, was a rare sight, one that you didn’t mind being a witness to.

“Oh. So, this target you’re going after, is it more challenging?”

His eyes fixed on you for a second, inspecting you. “It is. Also, are you going to sleep like that?”

You haven’t even shrugged your coat off.

Well, of course you wouldn’t. But... you thought maybe it would be a better idea to wait for him to turn the lamp off, at least.

While you were contemplating, Kinich undid the harness and took his upper clothes off in a swift motion.

“Ah! Careful when you rise your arms!” You went to check that the suture didn’t open. “Aren’t you in pain? You did move quite brutishly there,”  

“It does hurt,” albeit his words, he didn’t show discomfort the instance your fingers trailed close to the suture.

“I didn’t know you wore a second pair of pants under that jumpsuit. You’re going to give yourself a heatstroke,” you chastised him in an attempt to ignore your racing heart. “What if you get in real trouble and I’m not in the village if you need me?”

It wasn’t unusual for him to be silent, but this one went on for a second longer. That was the impression you got. It prompted you to meet his unyielding gaze, words abandoned at the back of your throat.

 Kinich leaned in, a soft kiss that feathered on your lips. You found purchase by placing your hands on his shoulders as the intensity heightened. You couldn’t ignore the softness of his lips, or the way his hands traveled down the small of your back, or how he stopped breathing while he devoured your mouth—mind set on stealing your breath away. The absolute appetite enraptured you as he chased your lips and tongue.

A momentary halt was necessary for him to rid you of your clothes. You watched him pull your coat off, to then redirect his attention to the buttons of your shirt. When the time to remove your lower garments arrived, you tried to give him a hand; however, Kinich interrupted your attempt by summoning one of his ropes to tie your wrists over your head. The same green ropes you would see him use when he wanted to grapple quickly to a high place, the ones he mastered after the attainment of his Vision.

You shot him an inquisitive glance.

“Seeing you like this turns me on a lot.”

“Kinich!” you were baffled. You didn’t expect him to be this forward about his desires.

“Sorry. Too blunt? Then…” in thought, he put a finger on his chin. “The sight of your bare body at my mercy is a delectable view that...turns me on.”

Typical Kinich. He doesn’t know how to be tactful.

He hooked his thumbs under your underwear and discarded it. Now that there were no barriers between your body and his, his hand continued to its destination: between your legs.

First, he collected your juices on his thumb before he toyed with your clit, rubbing it in circles as he noted each little jolt and twitch he provoked on you. You whined his name, wishing you could reach out to him and tease his body like he was doing to yours.

“You should untie me. It should be me taking care of you,” you said, remembering his stitches.

“Later.”

“Later? Oh—”

Kinich had grabbed your thighs and parted them with unprecedented strength. Open and ready for him, Kinich slipped his dick in between your thighs and pushed them close again. At his own leisure, he jutted his hips forward, getting off with them. A rapid buildup of precum formed on the tip, droplets of it slid down his member after some minutes.

The back-and-forth movements stimulated your clit, causing your pussy to clench around nothing. Sighs and soft moans escaped from his mouth and he threw his head back, his Adam’s apple bobbed. 

The pace he set became faster and the grip on your skin tighter.

“Hey. Gently. The stitches…!” you babbled, hanging on to that sliver of clarity amidst the pleasure.

Your warning did little to deter him from chasing the high he was after. The tent filled with the sounds of his lower body smacking into yours with a hasty need; you weren’t used to seeing Kinich fall victim to his impulses. If he maintained that angle and pace, you would come anytime soon.

Which happened. You arched your back off the bed, and your legs came to wrap around him, keeping his body flush to yours. With a sharp inhale, Kinich’s movement ceased, eyebrows deeply furrowed as he did his best to not follow you after your orgasm. He wanted to be inside of you, after all.

You register the rustling of sheets while he adjusts your positions.

He grabbed your hips to place you on top of him, his back against the bed.

Through half-lidded eyes, he peers at you with unbridled hunger. The way he leered at your body, at the hickeys and bite marks left behind... Against odds, your libido reignited.

The head of his cock nudged into your entrance; a hitched moan escaped you. You were sensitive after your first orgasm, after all. Your flesh might be tender, but the desire didn’t die down yet. You were thankful that Kinich waited for you, hands patiently in place on your hips.

You relaxed your muscles and sank further down on his dick. Your pussy stretched around it, slick and ready for his size. His fingers dug deeper into you when you did, and despite Kinich’s effort to preserve his controlled expressions, the heaved breath he exhaled betrayed him.

Kinich’s cock filled you pleasantly, stroking at every pleasant spot inside of you. His grasp on your hips moved to your tits to pinch your nipples with his thumbs and forefinger.

“Please…Kinich. Untie me,” you panted. “I want to touch you, too.”

“You can already touch me, even with those binding you.” To show you what he meant, he led your hands towards his sweaty abdomen, your palms flat against it. You could feel his muscles tense and flex like that, rise and fall to meet your hips.

You wanted more than that. Why was he being cruel?

You pleaded again.

This time, Kinich was considerate and untied you.

“Ah—fuck—” he gasped when you rode him faster.

He kept his fingers stroking on your clit. When that sought climax happened, you keened and came around his cock. At last, that urge was satisfied. Kinich’s arms wrapped around you to bring your torso towards him while he came, thrusting with conviction and shooting his cum inside. 

Kinich didn’t let go, his toned arms kept you in a hug. He didn’t pull out yet either; the thought didn’t cross his mind. The proximity of your bodies—addicting to him, he wasn’t ready to release you.

Your exhaustion caused you to fall asleep almost immediately.

The next morning, you stirred awake.

Your joints ached. Well, other parts of your body ached, to be honest. That wasn’t what bothered you in this moment, but the sensation of...

Where were you?

At the realization that you were no longer in the comfort of the tent or in the position you slept in last night, you panicked.

You recognized this place. It was Kinich’s house. Your inspection traveled to the ropes that restricted your wrists and ankles.

“Good morning, Kinich,” you heard the voice of someone outside. “I stopped by here yesterday, but you weren’t here. Were you hunting?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, I see. I should’ve imagined,” the man said with amusement in his voice. “Anyway, I came here to tell you that the chief...”

Your first instinct was to call for help, but the cloth gag prevented you from that. You stopped listening to the conversation those two were having in pro of freeing yourself.

The noise of a door opening and closing made you freeze. Kinich entered the room. His eyes found yours, and you had to gather the entirety of your willpower to not lash out at him when he crouched down to remove the gag.

This was your childhood friend. Surely you could try to dialogue with him? Or was it mere wishful thinking?

“What’s going on, Kinich? Is this…some kind of twisted joke?”

“Have I ever done something like that?” That damned flat tone of his—like he wasn’t taking you seriously. “From today, you’ll stay here. With me.”

“You can’t be for real,” you stammered in disbelief at his revelation. “You’re not planning on holding me here forever, right?” 

“That depends on you. If you behave, I’m willing to negotiate with you.”

You’d been in shock this whole time, but the severity of the situation you were in finally dawned upon you. A painful tightness which sprouted from your chest extended to the rest of your body. Not once had you imagined Kinich betraying you this way. To be capable of such treachery, toy with your feelings and whisk you away from the outside world.

“I can’t believe you’re less trustworthy than Ajaw. Was he telling me the truth all this time? That you were placing yourself in danger so I... would nurse you back to health?”

“Ah, that,” Kinich crossed his arms, his fingers tapped on the side of his arm. His answer took longer than what you felt comfortable with. You grew wary of what he would confess next. “It’s not exactly what you think it is. I just wanted to lure you into my trap.” 

[merakiui]

thinking about android sunday. :)

android sunday who is programmed to have your best interests in mind at all times. every aspect of you is his priority. your health, your well-being, your happiness, your safety, etc. he serves his purpose well (sometimes a little too well). you've told him before he doesn't need to go so overboard. like when you've been sitting at your desk for too long, so focused on your work, and he gently coaxes you out of the chair, helping you up and nudging you around the house to get some exercise. you'll do that eventually. he doesn't have to babysit you.

or when he makes note of specific changes in your hormones, much to your embarrassment at times. announcing to your guests or even a date you're having over how your endorphin levels have increased significantly and your heart rate has increased ever so slightly, indicating happiness and anxiety. and you have to hurriedly push him into the next room or demand he return to his charging station, babbling about how you don't need him to announce your vitals to everyone! >_< these things should be kept private.

sunday is here to make your life easier, so he cleans the house when you're out. he cooks when you're too exhausted to do so, and now he insists on it. after all, you need to prioritize your health more. please relax while he cooks your favorite, every recipe downloaded and saved in a vast database. you're glad to have an extra set of hands around the house because sometimes life gets busy and you just don't have the time for cooking or cleaning. sunday will look after you as he always does.

sunday assesses everything based on the risk it may have towards you and your well-being. perhaps he is willing to allow you to have one extra sweet after dinner because it will make you happy, and he finds he quite enjoys the sight of your smile. friends or loved ones who hurt you and cause you any sort of suffering are risks he refuses to let into your life. sunday does well to clean up the messes they leave. an ex's belongings serve no purpose in your precious home, so he will dispose of them posthaste.

and you were grateful for him and his help. you really were, but now it's starting to become...excessive. he fusses over you too much. it's too...controlling. obsessive. care taken to extremes.

sunday refuses to remind you of important dates and events scheduled on your calendar solely because he's so certain he knows what is best for you. sometimes he doesn't even schedule the events when you tell him to. a date with a stranger is no good; you don't need that kind of connection when he is more than willing to provide it. that friend who has been trying to make amends with you, inviting you to lunch? also a risk. why are you asking him to order such...revealing clothes? surely you do not intend to open yourself up to potential harm? these clothes will only invite the worst of scum. as such, he takes it upon himself to place orders for modest fashion only. taking measures to dress appropriately not only increases your chances of leaving a positive impression, but they also draw the right people your way. sensible people.

you keep telling sunday to just do as you say. he should not make these decisions based on all of that stuffy logic. "there are some things—human things—that you'll never understand, so please have more faith in me. i know what i'm doing. i can take care of myself," you tell him, but sunday does not like that.

it is his duty to look after you. if he thinks you're making poor choices, the job falls to him to correct your mistakes. he is here to make sure you're happy and safe, and under his care and supervision you will be. no one else can provide that for you. not even you!

it is sunday who can hum and sing you to sleep. it is sunday who plays piano for your guests when you wish to be classy and impress them. it is sunday who tracks your health and reminds you to take your medicine or vitamins. it is sunday who tailors his methods based on your needs. it is sunday who saves recipes that will be beneficial for your health. it is sunday who downloads new resources to better improve your life. you, you, you. always you. forever you. he is for you, and you are for him.

it is sunday who is slowly shaping himself into what he feels is the ideal partner for you. you have taught him lots about humans and he puts all of it into practice, even if the approach may come off as awkward or unnatural. he will make efforts to learn more, to store more data on humans and their bonds, just so he can please you.

no matter what happens, you must never forget that he is here to help you, not harm you—never harm you.