#as i was making this even i found myself surprised at how much content we've actually gotten cause it's so easy

[cosmicatta]

One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis

So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.

And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.

Some notes before I start:

The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.

I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.

For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).

These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!

The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.

Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.

I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.

But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.

The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.

What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):

P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."

P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."

P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].

And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.

P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"

But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.

It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.

In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."

P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."

Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.

In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.

P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"

Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)

Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.

Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")

But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.

In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora—Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)

In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.

His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.

We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.

The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:

P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."

It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.

The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:

"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."

It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.

Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:

The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.

Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.

Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.

Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.

Law is bad at cooking.

Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.

The Hearts’ jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.

Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.

And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!

Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!

[666writingcafe]

Level One

Dedicated to @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf and @thunderlightning351

Content Warning: referencing human sacrifice, slightly(?) unhinged Barbatos

"Hello, MC." Barbatos' sudden appearance at my side causes me to curse. I know he has the ability to teleport anywhere he wants to, but a little warning would have been nice.

"Apologies, MC," he continues. "I was simply following my instructions. Did you have a nice time with your parents?"

"Y-yeah, I did," I respond, still a little spooked. "We went out to eat at a Chinese buffet."

"That sounds lovely." He wraps an arm around me and guides me to the couch, remaining glued at my side as we sit down. This isn't the first time we've sat next to each other, but he's never been quite this close before.

And then I take a proper look at him. I'm not dealing with Barbatos the butler, but rather the Barbatos that accompanied me to the Severa concert. The one that I told Asmo I found incredibly attractive in great detail.

The Avatar of Lust is playing dirty right from the start.

Barbatos' lips are moving, but I'm not registering a single word he's saying. The parts of my brain that aren't obsessing over his natural scent are short-circuiting due to him being so close to me. One hand rests on my thigh while the other one plays with my hair and gently brushes up and down my arm. It all makes me rather jittery. I'm surprised I'm able to remain still. I want to simultaneously bolt out of the room and--

"You're not listening to me." Barbatos' harsh tone forces me to pay attention.

"I'm sorry. I'm finding it incredibly hard to concentrate." My explanation makes him smirk.

"Am I making you nervous, MC?" I can only manage a nod. "Good. Now you know how I felt when the roles were reversed."

"That's not fair!" I exclaim, remembering the exact moment he's referencing. "You told me to seduce you!"

"And you did, much to Diavolo's joy. He wouldn't stop teasing me about it for weeks." He repositions himself so that he's able to lean in closer to me.

"Once upon a time, you would have been given as an offering." His voice is low and menacing. "Not to the gods, like so many people believed, but to us. We're able to be entertained by sacrificial lambs for a long time. Inevitably, though, they become dull and boring. It's not their fault; it's simply the result of being exposed to sin over long periods of time.

"But your soul is different, MC. Due to the angel blood that flows through your veins, it maintains its brightness despite it constantly being surrounded by sin. Some might even say it feeds off it, making it that much stronger. If it weren't for Diavolo's mission, we'd have so much fun with you." His smile is that of a predator. I should be shitting my pants right about now. That would be the appropriate reaction to having a demon look at me like I'm his next meal.

Instead, I wait with bated breath for his next move. Barbatos tilts his head to the side.

"Of course, that doesn't scare you." he asks. "You find the idea rather arousing, don't you?"

It's messed up, I know. I shouldn't be turned on by any of this, and yet...

"I told myself long ago that I would only use my powers to help Diavolo, but you've made me reconsider that decision many times." He's pretty much on top on me at this point, holding me in place with his body weight.

"Why?" I whisper. He brings his mouth right up to my ear.

"Because the idea of messing with time in order to play with you is incredibly tempting." He kisses the base of my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.

Do not succumb to temptation.

I grab his shoulders and squeeze them as hard as I can, making him pause on his trail down my neck and look up at me.

"I can't," I tell him, despite my body screaming at him to continue.

"Are you sure?" I close my eyes and take a deep breath, forcing myself to answer,

"Yes." I feel him get off me. Seconds later, he grabs my hand.

"It's okay, MC. You can open your eyes." Doing so makes him smile softly. "The first stage of your test is complete."

"Did I pass?"

"See for yourself." Looking down at the ring I slipped on earlier, I notice a mark that I'm pretty sure wasn't there before.

"From my understanding, a tally will appear for every stage you complete successfully," Barbatos explains.

"That makes sense." He walks out of the room, returning moments later with a note in his hand.

"When you are ready, this contains information about the next stage," he tells me, handing me the note. "Of course, you're allowed to take as much time as you need to recenter yourself. I can make you some tea if you'd like." I shake my head.

"I know this might sound crazy given what we just did, but would you mind holding me?" He chuckles.

"Not at all." He stretches out on the opposite end of the couch, and I snuggle up to him. He begins stroking my hair. After a few moments of calm, I gather up the courage to ask,

"Did you mean what you said about time, or was that part of the act?"

"I wasn't acting," he answers. "I merely displayed emotions that I normally keep suppressed. Everything I told you is one hundred percent true."

[theacecouple]

I didn't see anything from somerton until about a month ago when he popped up in my recs and I ended up binging his content for about 2 days, but something kept being off and I noticed some of the lies/ignorance, and there was something really dismissive and weird about how he talked about aspecs and women in particular... I stopped watching him cause I watched one of you guys' podcast and realized I also just felt like crap after his videos.

I did end up getting his rwrb video in my recs when it came out cause of the binge and I just remember leaving a comment about the way he talked about aces in it. It was especially upsetting seeing people in the comments who were simply happy he mentioned aspecs at all. He replied to me just saying his cowriter was ace. I don't reply to youtube comments but I just remember wanting to point out that same co-writer he was using as a shield said aces don't face discrimination or conversion therapy, and in that video wrote that aces have to have sex to find out they don't like it. Being something doesn't make you instantly know everything about it, as somerton himself demonstrates with his ignorant comments about gay history.

I'm not really one of his victims since I avoided him as soon as I found him, but I feel bad for all the people he tricked and/or guilted into believing him. I hope some other creators make videos exposing the weird way he manipulated the queer community, cause I think a lot of young folks could use a breakdown of it.

Anyways I just wanted to finish by saying I love you guys' work and learning from you. You helped me understand why certain phrases make me upset, and that and watching your podcast back to back with his videos helped me figure out what I didn't like about Somerton, so you helped protect me from him and not convince myself I was just being Weird as I often do when I get Bad Vibes from someone.

Thank you so much for reaching out <3

It's so fascinating that you stopped watching Somerton after finding us. We've tried to keep things as professional as possible these last 2 years by only citing directly harmful things he's done to us and direct members of our community, and even then it was sparingly and as kind as possible.

When we first spoke with him about including Asexual representation in his future Telos endeavors, he assured us that not only was there already an Ace in the writers' room, but that two real, fully-fleshed out Ace characters were already being written. This was encouraging! After all, we had no way of knowing if he was the kind of cis gay man who loathes Aces or doesn't view us as queer. Since this didn't seem to be the case and rep is important, we supported him. We now deeply regret not doing our research on him first.

Even before his video "The Queer Erasure of Asexuality", we started watching a few of his YouTube videos for the first time and some of the subtext was NOT kind to our community. Subtle things that we'd see get repeated by his fans over and over again, like how queer art is bad these days because all the "artists" and the "exciting queers" who "really lived" died in the AIDS crisis. Or the implication that the Interview with the Vampire reboot was *more queer* because the vampires actually had gay sex on screen, despite this being a complete departure from the source material and neglecting the fact that Anne Rice's vampires have always been undeniably queer *and also* sexless. In fact, we didn't say his name, but we did mention some vague "bad takes" we saw about the series in our podcast episodes 75 & 76 The Triumphs and Failures of AMC’s Interview with the Vampire Part 1 and Part 2...At least some of those came from James.

We did not see his rwrb video, because we had long given up on him by that point, but it is not at all surprising to hear that he had bad takes and also hid behind Nick once again to shield himself from any criticism. It was very much his MO, and yet we're also certain we've heard him chastise straight women for using the "I have a gay friend" defense.

It is so good to hear that our podcast has been helpful to you. There are FAR too many Aces who are willing to let bad behavior or ill-informed takes slide just because someone with a decent following noticed us. We deserve so much better.

[pupika-samika]

A King is Nothing Without His People

Chapter 9

Dive into the Unknown

CW: None

<- Previous Archive Next ->

Spoiler alert. It did not work out. At least, not how Link hoped it would. He could have predicted about a hundred things happening before he predicted what was currently happening! He stood in front of King Dorephen and Prince Sidon, mouth much too dry considering where he was. "W-What did you say?" The two Zora towered over him, making the mighty hero feel small and powerless. A mere worm compared to the giant sharks in front of him. They- he can't be serious? There's no way she planned this far!

Link looked over at Mipha, the small Zora standing next to her younger brother. She looked surprised as well but unlike Link, she was much better at hiding it.

Link looked down at the parchment paper again, letting the words sink in as he memorized the contents. He knew what they said, he knew they were important but he couldn’t get it in his head that it was real. "Father, are you sure about this? This hasn't come to light in over a century, are you sure you still want to honor that kind of contract?" Sidon asked his father, looking as shocked as Link felt. 

Now you might be wondering, Link, how did we get to this point? To be quite honest, Link was wondering that himself. It started at 6 am, the time Yunobo woke up. The Goron woke up later than Link, which gave him plenty of time to make breakfast for them both. Two rockroasts for the Goron, and three omelets for the Hylian. 

"Good-" a yawn broke through the sentence. "Morning, Goro! Do you always wake up so early?" Yunobo asked as he sat beside Link, picking up one of the offered roasts. The Hylian had to admire Yunobos cheerfulness so soon after waking up, even he didn't feel so happy right after waking up. Link didn't answer the question, instead watching his friend's reaction as he ate the rock. 

Yunobo took one bite of the roast and lit up, chewing the rock much more enthusiastically. Taking another, much bigger bite he asked, "woah Link! Where'd you get this roast from, Goro!? It tastes delicious!" He praised, taking more chunks out of the rock. 

"Oh I made it. I found the recipe somewhere and wanted to do something nice for you." Link lied. It was much easier saying you found a recipe than explaining you had your friend's dead grandfather explaining how to make it step by step. "Is it really that good? I should've made one for myself." 

"It's delicious! Here, you can have the second one! You shouldn't miss out on a meal as good as this! You need strong rocks to grow big and durable, Goro!" Yunobo praised as he held out the rockroast. As tempted as Link was, he had to decline.

With a shake of his head, Link held up a hand to stop the offending rock from entering his personal space. “I already ate Yunobo, but next time I’ll make sure to make one for me too. I made those for you so you should eat them.” He explained, giving his friend a smile. With much convincing, Link was able to get Yunobo to finish both the rockroasts by himself. 

They finished eating breakfast at almost 6:30, the perfect time. If he planned everything correctly then his meeting with Dorephen wouldn't take too long. Hopefully less than an hour if it could be helped. Then he could spend the rest of the day in Vah Ruta, maybe spend the night in the machine if- 

"Oh, Link! I forgot about the promise I made last night!"

Yunobo cut Link out of his thoughts. Promise? What promise- Oh! 

"There's been some really, really strong monsters hanging around lately! They even have gold pelts, it's crazy Goro!"

"What?" Link asked, dumbfounded. Gold pelted monsters? That's ridiculous, there's no way there's golden pelted monsters…Right? "Where are they? I'll see if I can clear them sometime soon."

"We've already gotten rid of most of them, there's just that one Lynel near those whale bones up north but no one ever goes there so it shouldn' be a problem. You shoulda see them Link, Goro! They're so strong, it's takes two Gorons to take down a golden Bokoblin!" Yunobo raved, excitement sparkling over him. If it were any other race, Link might've been worried about how many monsters were in the area. But knowing how strong the Gorons were, Link felt he could put this issue on the backburner. At least for a few days. 

Link gave a hum in acknowledgement as he thought over the monsters. He could leave those be for a few days, until the next blood moon. The two spent a few minutes watching the sunrise, the sky becoming more blue and orange then black and red. 

“Well, I guess it's time for me to get going. Thank you again for the gift and information Yunobo." Link smiled, briefly glancing at the crimson ribbon inside his slate before switching to his map screen. He wouldn’t wear it now, only because his current hair tie was almost broken. He’d wear the ribbon when the tie finally broke. His fourth hair tie lasted much longer than the others, being bought during the last leg of his quest and seeing less hardship than his other three. "I'll visit again really soon, in about a month. I'll even stockpile on some rock-roasts for everyone to try." 

"Be careful, goro. And if you ever need help, I'll be right there! Just- give me a warning if you think you'll need my help with something," he paused, seeming to work himself up to say something. He waited, allowing Yunobo to gather his words. “And Link? You’re always welcomed here. Not just to my house but to the volcano, to the city, goro.”

Blinking in surprise, Link stared at Yunobo. The Goron looked away from him, seemingly embarrassed. “Thank you, Yunobo. I promise to come visit more often.” He promised, shooting a smile at the Goron. Yunobo fidgeted for a few seconds, making Link wonder what else he had to say. “Anything else on your mind?”

It happened so fast that Link thought he had gotten attacked. One second Link was standing, staring at Yunobo with his slate in hand, and the next he was being awkwardly smushed into a rocky chest.

The feeling of being hugged by a talus lasted for only a few seconds, not nearly long enough for Link to wonder if he should hug back. Yunobo let go and pushed Link back, stuttering out apologies for the hug. "I didn’t- I don’t- that was- I’m sorry for-" Yunobo was cut off when Link let out a laugh before giving Yunobo a hug back. While his arms couldn’t reach all the way around, Link hugged the Goron as best as he could.

"If you wanted a hug, you could’ve asked for one, big guy.” He said, not letting go until he felt Yunobo hug him back. “Thank you, Yunobo. For everything you’ve done.” He thanked as he let get of his rocky friend. 

Link dragged the cursor over to the Lanayru region, then zoomed in until he saw the Ne’ez Yohma shrine located in Zora's domain.

Yunobo, watching Link get ready to leave, smiled at him. “Make sure you visit soon! We can make rock roasts together!”

"I will. Stay safe Yunobo." Link bided before clicking on the Ne'ez Yohma shrine. He looked down at Fostri, watching as his friend floated up to grab a few strands of his hair. Would that be enough contact to teleport? Hopefully it was because Link already pressed the button. 

---

Link's world blipped into millions of blue particles before he was deposited on the base of the Ne'ez Yohma shrine. It had barely been a minute but Link was quickly regretting going from boiling hot to freezing humid. He threw on his Zora armor, barely registering the crimson leather that greeted him until he saw the Zora of the group floating up the overflown, watered stairs. Link looked down at his Zora armor then looked to the others of the group, two of which seemed amused by his silent panic. “Is this too weird? I could go to Hateno and redye it." He offered, feeling like his color choice could have a different meaning other than pretty colors.

"Why change it? You've already shown the Domain. Plus, I think you look good in red." Urbosa complimented, a mischievous smile on her face. Link was not reassured by that smile but seeing as he was already here (and she did have a point. Hell, Dorephen and Sidon said he looked good in red which, now that he thought about it- you know what. He’s just going to stop thinking) and he only had a few days till Impa reached Hateno. He needed to use his quickly dwindling time wisely. An annoyed huff later and he began making his way up the stairs, looking up to the sky. Unlike the first time he had been here, the sky was clear, not a cloud to be seen. The suns’ rays were beating down, gleaming harshly on the water. If he wasn’t here on borrowed time he’d consider going for a swim in such nice weather. Unfortunately, that will have to wait as one of the people he has to meet with is currently bounding his way over to the Hylian. 

“Fostri, you can go explore if you want, I’ll come get you when I'm done.” Link quickly and quietly whispered to the Korok who had fixed its seating arrangements and was now sitting on his shoulder. The Korok shook his head, only clinging onto a few strands of hair to voice his refusal. 

"I wonder, why does Mr. Link want me to leave so badly?" he started, standing on Link's shoulder to get a better view of the incoming Zora. "Could it be that Mr. Link doesn't want to introduce me to his friend?" He asked almost sadly. 

Link sucked in a breath, thoughts conflicting with each other. "It's not that, it's-"

“Link! It’s so good to see you again!” Sidon boomed as he stood near the stairs, shark tail slowly wagging behind him. 

“I can’t believe he hasn’t gotten over that habit, it’s been over a century. Surely father would’ve tried correcting him.” 

“Well it took you being dead to fully correct that, I’d say it takes time. Even then, sometimes you still wag your tail when-" 

“Hey Sidon,” Link greeted his friend, ignoring the loud conversation in front of him. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“It has been! What are you here for today? Some fishing? Do you want to go on a swim? Oh, maybe we can go fight that Lynel up on Ploymus Mountain! I’ve heard from some of the warriors that they’re saying it’s turned into a golden Lynel, that must be exciting to fight! So how about it, Link? What are we doing today?” Sidon excitedly asked, tail swishing faster and stars lighting up in his eyes

Link frowned and looked away from his lo- his friend. With how excited Sidon was, he was beginning to feel guilty about the topic he needed to bring up. "I'd love to but I really need to talk to you and your dad about something. It’s important- I’d rather not talk about it down here.” He explained, motioning around to the very open area they were in. 

Sidon momentarily froze, before composing himself. “Ah, this wouldn’t happen to be about why Vah Ruta fired a laser about a week ago, would it?” Sidon asked as he backed up and began walking up to where his father resided. Link followed after him and nodded, idly waving to the shopkeepers and weaving around giggling groups of guppies. 

“It is. That’s why I have to talk with your father. And you- since you're a prince. Don’t worry, I’ll answer any questions you have when I’m done.” Please don’t give the sad eyes. Please don’t give me the- damnit Sidon. Link pointedly did not look at Sidon as he could see the slight pout on his face from the corner of his eye. The conversation died out as the two climbed up the overflowing stairs, King Dorephen being easily heard from the bottom of the steps. 

The Zora proudly stepped into the chamber, eyes flickering briefly between Muzu, who had already been in the royal chamber, and Link, before greeting his father. “Father, we have a visiter. Link requested a private conversation about Vah Ruta,” Sidon paused, glancing at Muzu. At the older Zora’s refusal to move he added, “he asked it be held privately.” Muzu looked to King Dorephen for permission to refuse but grumpily left when Dorephen asked him to leave. He left the chamber room, grumbling on how he’d be back. 

Alright, I got this. Just- explain what happened. It’s not that hard and you’ve done this before… his thoughts trailed off as he saw the expectant look on King Dorophens face. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he started. “A few days ago Vah Ruta fired a laser aimed at the castle. You probably noticed by now that Calamity Ganon isn’t surrounding the castle anymore. That’s because I was able to defeat him with the help of the beasts and the princess, they both had incredibly important roles in the fight. After the battle ended, the princess was infected with too much malice to survive. Her body was safely taken to the place where I was resurrected but only time will tell if she will survive.” He summarized, thinking over if he missed anything. 

“Tell them how you're king now- but don’t make a fool of yourself like you did with the Rito.”

“Revali I’m sure he was going to say that next, don’t rush him.”

Link was trying to ignore them, he really was. It was taking everything in him to not turn around and ask what the hell they were talking about this time. He must've made a face as Sidon asked if he was alright. He waved the concern aside, thinking over how to word his next statement.

"During the princess' last moments she had one request for me. She asked that after her death, in her steed I become-"

"King of Hyrule,” King Dorephen cut in. “Ah, such a shame those precautions must be used." He frowned, heaving a sad sigh. Prompted by their confusion he continued, "the princess had come to me over a century ago, months before the Calamity, and asked that I sign a contract with her. If, by some chance, she and her father were to both fall to the Calamity then I was instructed to help the next King of Hyrule. Which would be you, Link. In return I, and by proxy, the Zora, will get more contacts with the other races. Especially the Gorons, us two races have climates that challenge the other so it's difficult to arrange meetings." He rambled on, clearly forgetting the important matter at hand. "I've only met a handful of Gorons in my life, all surely dead by now. The first time I met a Goron was-"

"Father, can you please get back to the topic at hand? You said you formed a contract with the late Princess?" Sidon intercepted, deciding the rambling was not important enough for this conversation.

King Dorephen took a moment to orientate himself, abruptly realizing he had gone off topic. He cleared his throat and nodded. "Yes, as I was saying. The late Princess Zelda had come to me and we signed an agreement. If you'd like to see it, it's in the chest over there," he pointed in the general direction behind his throne. Sidon and Link made their way to the chest, King Dorephen twisting his upper body to watch them. There was indeed a chest behind the throne and inside there was a parchment paper. It was aged and yellowing, plus water damage was clearly eating at the edges. But the ink was still legible. From the signatures to the clause, even the fine print was readable. Link blinked in shock. There wasn't- she couldn't. That was the princesses handwriting, he spent too many nights up late reading her work to not recognize it. 

Now that you're all caught up, let's continue.

There Link stood, Link looked down at the parchment paper again, letting the words sink in as he memorized them. He knew what they said, he knew they were important and the signatures weren’t forged but he couldn’t get it in his head that it was real. "Father, are you sure about this? This hasn't come to light in over a century, are you sure you still want to honor this kind of contract?" Sidon asked his father, looking as shocked as Link felt. 

"It's a signed contract between two nations. As a King and as a friend of the late Princess it's my duty to not only honor her last wish but her last contract. Besides, no one has as much time nor experience to teach you as I do. So Link, will you allow me to help you? Will you allow me to fulfill the Princess' last wish?" King Dorephen asked, keeping leveled- as leveled as he could- eye contact with Link. 

He thought over this… could it even be called an offer? It seemed more like a demand- or even a plea to him. Nonetheless, Link had to accept. Except…

"I'd love to take your help, but Lady Impa from Kakariko already offered to teach me everything. She's headed to Hateno as we speak, she should be there in around five days. I could try to bring her here so you can both teach me at the same time but-" Link started, a slight pressure building behind his eyes as he thought over how to solve this problem. He wasn't even an official King, yet he was already becoming stressed like one. He’ll be grey before he even reaches a hundred and twenty at this rate.

King Dorephen, seeing the spiral Link was headed into, cut him off. "There's no need for that. I'm sure Lady Impa can handle your training on her own. Though, before you leave for your next destination, come back here. I'd like to give you a letter for Lady Impa." He requested. If someone else offered to teach him, especially someone as close to the royal family as Lady Impa, then he figured he could offer some breathing room in his schooling.

Link nodded at the request, figuring it wouldn't be too much of a hassle especially as he would’ve come back before he left to say goodbye. Besides, he couldn’t feel the smallest bit of annoyance when the pressure to learn so much so quickly was lessened slightly. Only slightly. Not a lot. Just by a tablespoon. Or teaspoon? Whichever was smallest. 

"Don't worry, Link. Even if this proves too much for you, don't forget that we're here to help you. While you might not have any memories from a hundred years ago we do." Mipha offered comfortingly, a hand moving to rub his arm but stopping just short of touching him. While the comfort never made contact it still did its job in calming him down. 

"Thank you for offering to teach me. If I ever need help I'll be sure to come to you. Lady Impa is still a few days away from Hateno so while I'm here can I look at Vah Ruta? I'd like to fix him up a little, just enough to get him running if he needs to."

There was barely a second's hesitation before Dorephen nodded in approval. "I don't see a problem with that. Be careful, some Zora say they hear monsters within the beast. Who knows what's made its way inside since the last blood moon." 

With little else to go over, Link was ready to bid his goodbye. “I think that's everything I needed to talk to you about. Unless either of you have anything you want to ask…?” He trailed off, looking between the two Zora to see if they had anything to say. King Dorephen is the one who speaks up, a somber look on his face. 

“How did she die?” He asked softly, as if he knew the question could set him off. Sidon yelped out a quiet ‘Father!’ in response to the question, yet they knew he was curious too. 

Next to him, Urbosa winced at the question, looking at him with pity. That was a sore subject for everyone, especially with how recent it was. “Well, better to be forward and get a straight answer than dance around the topic and get a misunderstood answer. I’d say that’s a terrible way to deal with a trauma victim but a good way to get information.”

“It’s also a good way to make him cry.”

“You… are an insufferable bastard. Do you know that?” 

Setting aside the twos’ bickering- were they always arguing? He’s only had them around for less than two weeks and it’s already gotten old to him, was this what Mipha and Daruk had to deal with for a hundred years? He thought over what Urbosa said, specifically the last part. Him? A trauma victim? He wasn’t a trauma victim! …Whatever trauma was, he wasn’t a victim of it!

“She died- she died in my arms. She was infected with malice and wouldn’t have made it. She begged me to kill her as soon as The Calamity was taken care of. I put her in the shrine I was revived in, so now all that’s left to do is wait and see if that helps her. It may not help her but… I’ll remain hopeful until the end. The shrine worked a miracle once, I’m hoping it can work one more.” Strangely enough, he almost didn’t feel the pain in his chest whenever he thought of Ze- the princess. Nope- he still can’t even think of her name without feeling choked up.

He bit his lip as he waited for someone to speak, anxiously looking between Sidon and Dorephen. The two Zora looked at each other, the two having a silent conversation only heard to them. After waiting a while for either to acknowledge him, he slightly bowed his head and turned around, careful not to make Fostri fall while making his way out of the chamber. Right as he got to the entrance he heard King Dorephan speak up, causing him to pause his walking. “Don’t doubt yourself Link, they would be proud of you. All five of them would be incredibly proud of you, especially her.” He vaguely stated, not specifying who ‘Her’ was. That confused him- which Her was he talking about? He didn’t let himself think over it too hard, letting his body go on autopilot. He heard faint chatter from inside the chamber but he tried not to eavesdrop, he was no longer a part of that conversation. 

He idly listened to Mipha talk about Ruta as he pulled out his slate, moving it from the Ne’ez Yohma shrine to the Vah Ruta teleporter. Fostri had sat himself on Link's head, his tiny feet kicking back and forth to keep himself entertained. They occasionally hit Link's forehead but he couldn’t find it in him to care too much. 

“I can’t wait to see Ruta again, I’ve missed him terribly these past few weeks. I wonder if-”

"Link! Wait up!” An excited, familiar voice cut the small Zora off. "Link! Would you mind if I accompanied you to Vah Ruta? I would feel awful if you went to fix that beast by yourself while I sat around doing nothing." Sidon had jumped off the top of the stairs and landed slightly in front of Link, easily righting himself. 

Link stumbled back as the large Zora jumped in front of him, almost falling over from the surprise greeting. If it wasn't for Sidons hand quickly grabbing his arm he had no doubt he’d be absolutely soaked, more than he already was. Once he could stand on his own he lightly tugged his arm away from the Zora, giving an appreciative smile. “You want to come with me to Ruta? Are you sure?” Though the question was directed at the prince he sent a side glance to the four champions now crowding the two. 

“He can come with, you could use the extra set of hands. And it’d do you some good to talk with someone who isn’t dead,” Urbosa pointed out. He didn’t want to admit that she was right. The past few weeks he hasn’t really talked to anyone unless he had to- or they were a ghost who followed him around when he didn’t want them to. He gave the idea a bit more though before reluctantly nodding, Sidon cutting himself off at the action.

“Ok, you can come with me. But it will take us a while to get up there- I usually teleport there but I’ve never brought another person with me.” He explained as he looked over the area surrounding Ruta, his sentence growing quieter as he thought. How long would it take to get up there? He’s never walked up that mountain before, only glided down it and occasionally scaling the smaller cliffs. 

Luckily he didn't need to think too hard for too long because the small voice of his best friend piped up. “But Mr. Link, you always teleport me with you. Can't you do the same with Mr. Prince Sidon?" 

If Link knew what a lightbulb was there would have been one blinding everyone. Unfortunately I don't think lightbulbs exist in the Zelda universe so a metaphorical torch appeared above his head. Fostri was a genius! Link wanted to send a grateful look his way, to hopefully convey every positive emotion he was feeling, but he thought it'd be weird if he did that in front of Sidon- who he was sure couldn't see the Korok. 

"Actually, give me a minute to check something over and I'll take you to Ruta. I'll be back in a little bit, wait for me by the shrine- '' Link quickly told the Prince, pausing just long enough to see the nod of confirmation before he felt the dizzying yet familiar feeling of being stitched and rewoven into reality. He opened his eyes to the sight of Vah Ruta looking worse for wear. He openly frowned at the beast but didn't have the time to openly study it like he wanted.

Faint chatter was heard somewhere off to the side yet he didn't want to eavesdrop. If he was meant to hear that conversation they'd be louder. He gently picked up the Korok from his shoulder and dropped him in the air. A startled yelp was heard before faint twirling replaced it, the Korok holding its trusty leaf to hold him in the air. "That was rude Mr. Link!" Fostri whined, making his way back to Link's shoulder.

"No Fostri, you have to stay here. I don't know how many people I can take at once and I don't want to risk it." He tried reasoning, thinking of anything to try and distract the Korok. "Why don't you go with the others and try to survey the damage? Then I can get to work right away and we can leave sooner. So stay here while I go get Sidon?"

The sound of rushing water, birds and faint chatter was all he could hear for a few moments, the Korok in front of him seemingly deep in thought.

A tiny, reluctant huff sounded from his friend. "I'll stay here, but I expect an apple in return for my troubles Mr. Link!" He said with a laugh and zoomed over to the now hushed group of champions who were openly watching the pair.

I'll bring so many apples. I'll even get the biggest, juiciest ones from the Hateno Orchid. He thought as he went back to the Ne'ez Yohma shrine, double checking that the Korok wasn't going to try and sneak back with him. He closed his eyes as blue consumed his vision and opened them when he felt the hot humidity of the domain surrounding him. 

Sidon wasn't there yet but he couldn't be too far away- nevermind, there he is. Was it just Link or did the Prince look more handsome than two minutes ago? The Zora looked ethereal. Divine even. The sunlight streaming behind him, the soothing dripping of the water streams, his bright smile. Link had to pause, his brain refusing to process anything other than pretty Zora standing in front of me what do I do Hylia help. Luckily he was saved from further embarrassing himself by Sidon speaking up.

"You beat me. I was hoping to make it here before you," Sidon all but whined as he glided down the stairs to meet Link. Could sharks glide? Apparently handsome, tall, red ones could. 

"I told you I'd be back soon. Couldn't leave you behind, not when you asked to come along." He replied back, quickly ducking his head to look at his slate. He was sure his cheeks were flushed red but didn't want to make it obvious. Well, more obvious than it was. Hopefully he could blame it on the humidity. As he spoke Sidon moved closer, leaning to peer down at the screen between them. "We'll need to have physical contact for this to work, but I've never tried this on anyone bigger than a very small child. I don't know how much is required for it to-"

Before he could finish his sentence, arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug, shoving his face into a toned stomach. He stilled, mind processing what was happening.

"Is this enough contact?" Sidon asked with an excited grin, tail furiously wagging behind him. Link could only nod and keep his gaze on his slate. He clicked on Ruta's teleporter and off the two went, the very fabric of their beings being torn apart and stitched back together with royal blue threads of fate. 

The two reappeared on the ground before Ruta, the champions nowhere to be found but clearly heard from within the machine. He could faintly hear an argument happening along with the sound of rushing water. He could only wonder what they were fighting about this time. 

"Ruta… how far you've fallen," he heard Sidon mutter off to the side. Link spared a glance at the prince, seeing the crestfallen look on his face. He then looked up at the beast, taking in its features for the first time. 

The trunk, he learned that's what it was called from Mipha, sagged heavily against the ground. Its head was downturned and the bottom of its chin was barely hanging off the ground. It was truly a sorry sight. Link turned to Sidon and gave him a comforting squeeze of the arm. "He'll be alright Sidon, we're going to fix him. Have some faith in us," he said softly, giving the prince a smile before releasing his arm. 

Link turned his face to his slate, looking away too soon to see the loving look Sidon sent his way. He was less than happy with how few ancient supplies he had but he'd have to make due. "Be careful, I don't remember if there were any electric monsters or currents inside. And anything could've made a home in there since I first defeated the beast." He said, swiping to his clothing section. The wind had grown frigid, leaving the Hylian to shake slightly from the cold. 

Seeing as they'd be here for a while, Link decided to take off his Zora headpiece and put his ruby circlet on instead. It kept him just warm enough to not freeze, that would have to do until he got his body moving. That couldn’t be soon enough. "You ready?" He asked the prince, getting a delayed nod in response. 

With some help of Revali's gale, plus a particularly strong mighty and tough elixir, he was able to get both of them to the entrance of Vah Ruta. Urbosa was waiting for him at the entrance but the other champions- and his korok companion- seemed to be further in the beast.

"No monsters in here. Even checked all the secret rooms Mipha remembered. The other four are looking over the back half but we found some areas that need fixing." She summarized, her gaze falling to Sidon every few seconds. Said Zora was looking around the machine, clearly on guard and ready for something to pop up.

Link put a hand in his tense forearm, making Sidon look down at him. “There’s no monsters in the main room so there shouldn’t be too many elsewhere. You can relax a little.”

Sidon looked like he wanted to disagree, even opened his mouth to do so, but seemed to back out at the last second. “...If you say so, Link,” he paused and gave the room another look around. “While I do trust you, I’ll keep my guard up for a little while longer. Being inside this beast gives me a bad feeling.” 

"If anything dangerous pops out I'll protect you," Link promised, sending Sidon a reassuring look.

Urbosa, who had been quietly watching the exchange between the two, let out an amused buff. "Are you two love birds done or must I stand here and watch this go on for several more minutes?"

Link jumped and tried to keep the heat off his face, having completely forgotten the Gerudo was even there. "We should uh- go get started on this," he stammered, avoiding looking Sidon and Urbosa in the eyes. 

The Zora prince, unaware of their audience of one, nodded and followed behind Link. While he looked relaxed and openly eyed all the mechanisms of the beast, his hand never let go of the Ceremonial Trident he used to fight with. 

Link sighed as he accepted that Sidon would stand guard the whole time they were there. He followed Urbosa, occasionally running into another champion who helpfully (or unhelpfully. CoughRevalicough) told him where something had to be fixed. 

Three quickly became five, then ending at seven as the rest of the champions and Fostri met up with the group. As he got to work on repairing some of the broken parts he couldn't help but listen in to the conversations around him. Although he knew they were there for almost the entire length of his journey, he couldn’t help but forget since they barely talked about it. It was times like this that he was quickly reminded of this fact when he heard Urbosa and Revali making bets in the distance. He couldn’t hear much of what they were saying, just enough to know they were making bets on him and Sidon. He opted to not listen, saving himself the embarrassment of knowing they knew about his love life- and lack of it.

They were about halfway through the day when Link remembered the topaz jewelry he'd had custom made some time ago. He only remembered after the third time he almost accidentally electrocuted himself, standing much too close to a puddle of water while working with electricity. 

"Oh by the way,” pausing his work, he got the jewelry out of his slate and offered Sidon a pair of gems. "In case there's any electric enemies, this should help keep the effects from being too bad.” He rushed out, heat creeping to his face when he saw that Sidon was already looking at him.

The Zora prince gratefully took the gems, tail slowly wagging behind him. "Thank you Link! I'll be sure to return them when we get back to the domain!” He beamed, pinning both gems on his sash. The yellow gems complimented the navy fabric and stood out against his white scales. 

Link shook his head, using the movement to look away from the prince. “You can keep them. I bought a few more gems for the other Zora that frequently go to areas with electric Lizalfol.” 

He heard Sidon moving and before he knew it, there were two arms around him, carefully dragging him to Sidons chest. “I greatly appreciate this Link,” he beamed, . “You’ve done so much to help us Zora. Words alone can’t express how grateful I am for all you’ve done for us.” 

Link started to squirm, unsure how he should be feeling about being in the Zora's hold. He only stopped when Sidon spoke up, his tone hesitant yet heavy.

“Link… I…” He started, tightening his grip around Link. “You’ve been so distant these past few weeks. Is it something I have done?” He asked, voice going quieter with each word. “Have I done something to upset you?”

The silence was thick as Link thought about the question. He slowly shook his head, deciding that now was the time to tell him. “No,” he started, unsure how to go about this. “No, you haven’t done anything Sidon. I’m the one that should be saying sorry.”

Sidon was quick to speak up at that. “Link, you don’t have to be sorry for anything. I understand that you’re incredibly busy rebuilding Hyrule and protecting her people. I just wish to know what I have done to upset you.”

Link shook his head again, more firmly this time. “No Sidon, you really haven’t done anything. Maybe we should sit down and I’ll tell you everything.”

So they did. Link sat on the side of one of the pools while Sidon floated near him. Here, Link told him everything. How he was slowly getting his memories back over the course of his journey, and with them his feelings for people long dead. He told Sidon about Zelda, how he felt about her and how she felt about him. He told Sidon about the secret dates and the research trips that always took longer than necessary. He spoke of the long days watching Rhoam berate her and the late nights comforting her. Lastly, he told him how they planned to get married and start their own family after everything was done. 

It didn’t need to be said how that never happened.

Sidon was silent through everything, patiently listening and waiting for Link to finish before speaking up. “Do you still have feelings for her?” He quietly asked, no judgment in his voice. If anything, his eyes held nothing but sympathy and understanding. 

He didn’t know what to say after that. Some days his heart ached to be with the one he loved, staring at his sword for hours at a time. Those days are the ones where he was Link from a hundred years ago, feeling guilty for the kingdom he couldn’t protect. 

Then there were some days where he hated her. Hated her for putting this responsibility on him, this kingdom and her people. Those days are the ones where he was some random boy born into a world he had to save even if he didn’t know why he had to.

All he could do was give Sidon a halfhearted shrug, unsure of the answer himself. “I think so. I don’t know.” He whispered, looking away from the Zora. "Everything's so confusing. I feel like all these emotions I have are from the old me. But then I talk with Impa, Purah, Robbie. You and your dad. I don't know what to feel when I talk with anyone who I knew before." He ranted, frustration with himself building as he felt the tears threatening to fall.

Sidon said nothing, making Link keep his head down in anticipation. Would he be upset at him for keeping this secret? Betrayed that Link has feelings for another? Would he be mad and leave? He didn't want to know. 

"Link? Would you look at me, please?" Sidon asked softly, the sound of water gently splashing as Link saw his shadow moving closer.

He didn't want to look up in fear that his fears would come true. Nonetheless he did, wanting to know what Sidon wanted to say.

Looking up at Sidon revealed none of that. Sidon had a sympathetic smile, nothing but complete sympathy and understanding on his face. “When you do figure out your emotions, do be sure to let me know. Until then, I shall wait for you for as long as you need. If you ever need a friend to talk to, please don't hesitate to ask me. I shall help you however you need, as it would be my pleasure.” The Zora stated, holding a hand over his heart. A vow he was always willing to hold.

And suddenly, Link didn't see Sidon anymore. He saw Mipha offering a healing hand while ranting talking about her day and the domain, or scolding him for getting injured again. He saw his childhood best friend who always had his back no matter what. He saw the sister to the one he loved, the Zoran princess he couldn't save.

"Link, how many times must I tell you to be careful? You Hylians are fragile, please take better care of yourself." The red Zoran princess scolded, gently holding Link's injured arm in her hands. 

The knight shrugged, looking away from the princess in front of him. They were having their weekly chats, sitting on Vah Ruta's trunk this time, Princess Mipha having recently gotten crowned as the beasts pilot. 

Princess Mipha sighed but held a webbed hand over the slash, letting her healing water wade over the wound. Link bit his cheek as a hiss threatened to leave him, training and desensitization being the only reasons he didn't flinch from the sting of the healing. 

It was quiet, the sound of water softly swishing being the only noise until Mipha spoke up. "I worry about you Link," she said softly as her healing faded, the slash leaving barely a car behind. "You constantly throw yourself in harms way for Princess Zelda and hold no regard for your own health. I worry your duty to the princess will get you killed." She confessed, tracing the freshly healed scar with a clawed finger. 

I worry too Mipha. But I have to protect the princess, it's my purpose. Link thought to the Zora, willing her to understand his thoughts.

Another sigh passed from her lips, letting go of his arm and allowing him to take the appendage back. "I suppose there's nothing I might be able to say to change your mind, is there Link?" She guessed, a sad smile on her face.

Link shook his head, knowing that even if he wanted to, being the princess' knight was his duty till he died.

"Then there's nothing else I can do but be here to heal your every scrape and wound. I promise to you that I shall always be here to heal you, even if I leave this world." The Zora stated, placing a hand over her heart. A vow she was always willing to hold.

Link stared at her until he blinked and saw Sidon once again, who was making his way out of the pool.

Sidon stood next to Link and held a hand out to help him up. “Now, I quite believe you said there was more work to be done here?” He asked, looking around the space they were in.

Relieved that he was changing the topic, Link wiped his eyes and nodded. He cleared his throat as well for extra measures. "Yeah, you're right." 

Neither of them pointed out his misty eyes or rough voice.

~Bonus content~

After Link and Sidons conversation, the two spent the rest of the day working on Ruta. Link felt that he could be turned on (don't ask how, he just had a feeling) but decided not to. 

Or well, he tried.

Honestly, his first mistake was saying his thoughts to Sidon. The Zora was so insistent that Link felt he had to turn the beast on. So with a warning of the noise and vibrations the beast would cause, Link set his slate to the control unit and allowed it to wake from its slumber once again.

The Zora was enamored by the beast now that it wasn't trying to flood his home, begging Link to sit atop it's back. Seeing as Link couldn't say no to him, the two watched the sunset from Ruta's back while Mipha enjoyed some time with her previous life partner.

The champions, who had been kind enough to not comment on their conversation, were spread across the beasts back to give a semblance of privacy. 

Link sighed, feeling at peace for the first time in a long, long while.

~~~

It's been almost two years since Link (now known as Link Durim Hyrule across his (HIS!!!!) people) had been crowned as King of Hyrule. His rule isn't perfect, he still messes up and burdens people with his mistakes. But it's a learning experience. One he and his people are learning through together. 

It's nearing the last day of the festival, the Miracle Festival some people have been calling it. On this day two years ago he defeated Calamity Ganon once and for all. The festival took place in the center of Castle Town. The once destroyed town was still destroyed but it was quickly being rebuilt into an even better version of itself. Bolson got his team together (including Hudson's mismatched band of races) and they got working on the new town.

Their hard work was truly paying off. The town was usable for the first festival, even if only the town square was able to be used. But this year almost the whole town could be used! Most of the buildings had been fixed up so store owners could store their wares or travelers could rest in one of the temporary lodges.

Seeing Link's kingdom, his people, his friends, his family. Seeing everyone come together to celebrate his victory? That was doing terrible things to his self-esteem. Hylia knows it was already too big.

The coming sunset signaled the time for the festival to come to a close. Store owners gave away the last of their wares and travelers bedded down one last time before the long journey home the next day. Link decided to go check and make sure no monsters were lurking in the shadows of the walls. After waving off the champions ("No I don't need company"), Paya ("I promise I won't rip my outfit again"), and Fostri ("I'd rather you stay safe in town. I'll bring you back some apples when I come back.") he set off to do a quick perimeter check.

He switched out his 'formal' attire (a shirt that was nice quality and ripped far too easily with pants that probably would've cost both his arms a century ago) and into his sheikah set. You could never go wrong with a classic. His Hylian shield and savage lynel sword were his chosen defense and offense for today.

As he neared the walls he got this sinking feeling in his chest.

Something was wrong.

Something was there. 

He narrowed his eyes and quietly got his sword out, holding it parallel to his body. His whole body tensed up as he heard voices on the other side of the wall, every muscle in his body pulled taut. 

"Does anyone know who’s Hyrule this is?”

“Fuck if I know! Four threw up on me and passed out!”

“Poor Four. Here, take this and give him to me.”

Link quickly opened his slate and downed a stealthy elixir, stalking as close as he could to the walls. He started scaling the walls, throwing his sword in his slate to make the move more quiet.

“When he wakes up he’ll be put on laundry duty. Whenever we find somewhere to settle down. Warrior, don’t you think this looks like Castletown?”

“If it is, it’s much quieter than most of ours. Could be ‘Rules?”

“Not mine, not enough magic in the air.”

“Kinda looks like mine but too big ta be. An' too quiet for the old mans.”

Link finally got to the top of the walls, peering down over the other side of it. There he saw eight people, two kids, two teenagers, and four adults. He glared, wondering if the children were taken against their will. While he didn’t recognize them, it wasn't impossible that there were some people he hadn't met yet. Perhaps they could be from out of Hyrule? But that doesn’t make sense, someone had asked who’s Hyrule they were in. Were there multiple kingdoms named Hyrule?

He didn’t question it for much longer before he grabbed his Great Eagle Bow, lined it with arrows and spoke up. “Put your weapons down and your hands up or I’ll be forced to shoot.”

The whole group spun around trying to find him, hands flying to the swords on their backs. Link was going to shoot until he saw one with a wolf pelt look up at him. Something about pelt seemed so… familiar. Pelt slowly raised his hands, making Link loosen the hold on his arrow. He didn’t harm people that were surrendering. “We don’t mean ya any harm.” 

“Uh Twilight, I think he’s the one that should be saying that, not us!” One of the teenagers hissed, one with pink hair.

“You don’t question the person with an arrow aimed at you who looks like they're prepared to shoot!” The adult with a long, blue scarf hissed back.

Link let an arrow fire past Pinkys head, watching his hat swish from the sudden movement. He didn’t have time for people to question him, not when he could feel Tenk laughing at him and his lack of authority over the situation. Of course the one spirit he couldn't get rid of is the one spirit that couldn't help him. “State your name and business for being here. I have to get back and I’d rather not have to escort you to jail.” 

One Eye spoke up, hands slowly coming down from above his head. “We’re here to find the hero of the land? We need to speak with him.” 

“Busy. State your name and business for being here.” Link pointedly said, aiming his arrow at One Eye. 

"Hey now! You wouldn't harm an already injured man, would you?" Blue scarf hissed, glaring up at Link. "Wouldn't kill you to set the bow down." He scoffed and threw his arms down, hand much too close to his swords handle.

Link decided Scarf would be a better target as he let another arrow fly, this time snagging at the edge of his tunic. A rip was heard as the arrow nicked the bottom edge of the fabric, keeping the piece pinned to the ground. 

The silence was thick as Link instantly lined another arrow. "I will say it once again. State your name and business for being here."

"I bet if you threaten one of the kiddos they'll be more inclined to answer." Tenk unhelpfully offered, lazily floating next to the kid in a colorful tunic. 

The kid in blue must've seen his eyes lingering on the other kid as he shouted "Don't!" Before a gust of wind knocked him down from his perch on the wall. 

Goddamit Tenk, Link thought as he fell. He prepared himself to feel the air leave his lungs and his back to snap.

He didn't prepare himself to get swallowed by a swirling mass of purple.

[dyrewrites]

Before Deluca -- never this way

Lucient found the drawing case and was holding my sketches when I returned to our quarters. “These are beautiful,” he said as I entered the room.

I leaned on the desk he sat on and kissed his cheek, “You kept so many of my others, love, is it so surprising?”

Turning a quirked smile on me, he showed a sketch of himself with his hands on the railing of the schooner, his hair billowing in a gentle breeze. His eyes were closed…and so sweet, so content that smile. I remembered capturing the moment, he thought I was sketching the clouds, the birds, but I never took my eyes off him.

“This,” he accused, though his voice came breathy as he continued, “I have never seen myself this way,” setting the sketch carefully back in the case, he pulled me to stand between his legs and draped his arms over my shoulders, “do you know how happy you've made me, Ludovico?”

Always a treat it was, to hear my name on his lips, and knowing he felt the same, I returned the gift of it. After a kiss, sweet and short, “I would hope it's as happy as you've made me, Lucient.”

“We land soon, right my treasure?” Kissing my neck, he yanked me closer.

And I wouldn't remind of the parallels, wouldn't highlight that jealous streak again by grabbing the thighs that called for me. Instead I held his waist, biting the gasps his chill lips drew, “Very soon, my dream.”

Teasing my ear with teeth so sharp, he cooed, “Too soon?”

I wasn't sure, honestly, but I did have a plan in place I hoped would lead in a similar direction to his questions. So I didn't lie, but I did wish to postpone, “For what you're leading to.”

Meeting my eyes, he pouted—his eyes calling me a liar—before that sharp, salacious tongue gave me orders, “When we return you're not to look at, or speak to the crew,” I chuckled at his instruction and he grabbed my chin, forcing me to face the sincerity burning in those cold eyes, “You will go straight to our room, undress and wait for me in bed. Is this understood?”

Still chuckling, I asked, “My love, are you—”

And he kissed me, hard and fast, fingers firm in my beard, then asked again, “Is this understood?”

“Yes,” I conceded, smiling such that my cheeks ached from more than his grip.

He released me and hugged me tight, face against my chest, “Mm, how I love you so, my perfect treasure.”

“And I love you, my beautiful dream,” I whispered into his curls, sucking sea salt with every breath.

My notice was in mind alone but he caught it, voice hitching, “We're docking.”

“That we are,” I agreed, tone even, calm in the face of his wide eyes despite the desire to giggle at his shock—his worry.

“We've been lost months, treasure, in these clothes, with no way to bathe properly,” eyeing the closet, he shoved me away to hop off the desk, “we need baths and clean clothes and,” glancing at me, he touched his hair and groaned, “a brush.”

We would do all of that before we landed, delighting in the simple pleasures of each—how much he missed hot water, how I adored him fussing and insisting on dressing me.

Then Lucient became consumed by color and style, eager to make a statement on our first step back on solid ground. He planned entertainment for us to take in as well, hoping to seek out any plays or operas, even a simple coffeehouse—delighting in how those memories made me scoff.

The noteworthy moment came during his whirlwind of planning. When I was able to write the crew a list of supplies—in Spanish—while sneaking a second list in with it. One I sketched, using pictures of what I wanted in consideration of the language barrier.

Cleaned, brushed and clothed in full attire—much to my chagrin, hunger beginning to gnaw, to burn—we headed for the deck to watch our approach.

Such lights that town claimed, such beauty sparkling in the distance, and I wondered if they were candles. If they were oil and fire...or if they would sing, if they would draw the attention of a living island.

[steel-heart]

[Content warning: discussions of kidnapping and abuse]

[Word count: 770]

"I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but... you've been a little off lately," Seong Jun-Yeong inquires gently, lifting a bottle of wine to refill Alisha's glass. Alisha considers protesting; it's too early for another, but she stays quiet, and Seong hands her the glass. "Is there something going on? Something you want to talk about?"

Alisha frowns, staring into the deep red liquid as it swirls around in her glass. Was it that obvious? Seong was always attentive, so maybe it shouldn't be a surprise. She takes a drink. It's bittersweet.

"I..." Alisha begins, and she glances at the corgi sitting dutifully at Seong's feet. He hasn't sprung into action yet, so Seong must be alright. For now. She'll have to continue to check the dog's behaviour if she manages to continue. "It's... hard to explain."

"It's okay, take your time," Seong replies, her voice reassuring, her hand on Alisha's knee comforting. Alisha waits for Seong's hand to recoil from disgust.

It doesn't.

"It... started a few years ago, with my brother... Morgan. Something happened. When The Foundation sent me his body, it wasn't because they killed him or because of where we work. It was... something more personal." The wine in Alisha's glass ripples with the quiver in her hand, and she takes another drink.

"So... do you know who killed him, then?"

Alisha nods. "Yeah... a little boy. Min. He's not... really a little boy, he was a teenager at the time, but he looks and sounds and acts like one. He... I know this is all going to sound crazy, but he's an alien." Alisha pauses to gauge both Seong and the watchful corgi's reaction. Neither seem alarmed yet.

"That's not crazy... we've seen stranger," Seong offers, and she picks up Alisha's glass, handing it to her once again. "Here. Have another drink." Alisha manages to let out a dry laugh, and she raises the glass to her lips.

"No, I... I guess not. But it gets crazier."

"I can handle it."

Can she?

"Morgan... wasn't a good person. He found Min after he landed on Earth, and he was always fascinated by aliens and cryptids and all that shit. So he took Min home. He kept him in his creepy-ass basement..."

Seong's face falls, and her grip on Alisha's knee tightens. "... What did Morgan do to him, Ali?"

Alisha swallows thickly, the lump in her throat only growing bigger and making it harder to continue. "He... did things to him. Terrible things. You- you have to understand, I didn't know how bad it was until after everything had happened," she explains, the words falling out now, and she is so, so desperate for Seong to stay and hear them all. "I knew Morgan had a temper. I knew he yelled at Min. I knew that on the first night, he... fucking cut Min open. I still thought it would be for the best. I thought having a home would be better than getting caught by The Foundation or killed by the GOC. I couldn't have taken him in myself, but I wish I tried. I didn't know. I didn't know."

"Al-"

"I didn't know it was so. Much. Worse. He... he tortured him. He- he hurt him. In every possible way. He- he even fucking- I- I don't think I can talk about this," Alisha confesses, setting her wine down before she drops the glass. Her hands are shaking so badly she can't hold it.

"That's okay. I understand," Seong comforts her, and she rubs her thumb in small circles over the fabric of Alisha's jeans.

"I helped him keep that boy, Seong..." Alisha murmurs. "When I saw that he was kept in the basement, I thought that wasn't right. I thought he should be allowed upstairs, but Morgan said that would only happen if he could be sure Min wouldn't run away... So I did something I regret. More than anything. I made a shock collar so he couldn't leave the house. I helped him, and Min had to kill him to be free, and now The Foundation has him working there, and I was so. Fucking. Stupid."

Alisha feels Seong's hand leave her knee, and her heart sinks. She knew it was coming. This is the part where Seong is too repulsed to touch her, to even look at her, the part where Seong walks out of the room. Out of her life.

She's not ready when Seong wraps her arms around Alisha and pulls her in close. Alisha's body is stiff. She's frozen.

Despite everything, Seong doesn't leave.

[ppangjae]

ALEX!!!!!

It's been a while! I searched through my tag on your blog and found out that I last sent you an ask on 18 Jun last year :( It's been so long, I missed coming here and just being able to talk to you.

How've you been, Alex? I read through some of your replies to other anons and found out you've found a partner 🥺 That is really wonderful news! I hope you're both happy individually and together ❤️

I wouldn't bombard you with copious amounts of updates about my life in the past year, but I will say that renovations are finally underway after a lot of setbacks that almost did not make it happen! My family & I are currently in a condo while it's happening and we'll be returning to our newly renovated house in a few weeks!

And I also got to read your recent (as recent as it can get, I guess? LOL) fic for chef!Jaehyun and also found out that you're now planning for a doctor!Jae?!?! All the research it must have taken to come up with the backbone of your last fic, now you're diving into a hospital scene?! — the respect to your dedication and my interest in your masterlist have definitely rekindled big time after having been so busy! I even especially liked the details of the food when OC is preparing them, seeing as I've recently been watching a lot of Gordon Ramsay's videos on YouTube. And how it perfectly matches to Jaehyun in NCT DJJ film! My gosh, I wish I was able to squeal about that with you! It was what I remembered when I watched the video, but I was held up with a lot of things at the time; but I'm glad to see so many other anons gushing about it. It was so cool to see chef!Jae come to life in actual NCT content! I bet you were just as surprised when you saw it — but I'm really happy you got to feel the excitement of that! ❤️

Ahh, this is getting longer and I don't want to overwhelm you, but I really missed sending you messages, Alex 🥺 I hope you've been doing very well and taking care of yourself. I'll definitely give chef!Jae fic a reread and patiently wait for doctor!Jae!

Oh — and it's my birthday again! This was soooo my last ask from last year, too 🫣

Anyway, I hope your day has been/is going well! Missed being here. All the love, dearest Alex! — ♡ anon

oh my goodness, it's been quite a while! no worries, love, because i got swept up with how busy my life has been so i haven't been on tumblr quite frequently (honestly, i haven't been on tumblr for a while too sjkdhfd)

i have been doing well! i've just been busily living day by day LOL and yes! i do have a partner, we actually hit our six months last month hehe (speaking of, we're reaching seven months in a couple of days). i am happy! he makes me happy hehe and although we've only been together for six months (and counting), it feels like we've been together and known each other for years.

i'm so glad to hear that you and your family are going to be able to move into your newly renovated home soon! that's so exciting! i always love when people move into new homes or renovate because there's always something exciting and anticipating about it LOL i hope you've been doing well, love!

ahhhh i see that you've read chef!jae hehe yeah, it's been months since i've posted it (and then completely disappeared after kjshdfkjshdf) but yes, i'm currently brainstorming and planning to write a doctor!jae fic! i think after posting the chef!jae fic, i realized that i like to take my time writing fics because it allows me to brainstorm more and to fully immerse myself into writing. chef!jae was just so fun to write!

honestly though, i didn't even know about chef!jae in that DJJ video until nikki texted me about it. funny enough, i was work when it all happened kjsdhf so pretty much, i've been so busy that if nikki hadn't sent me a text about it, i probably wouldn't even know about chef!jae in the DJJ video sjkdhfsdf. but it did feel nice and super thrilling to see a glimpse of chef!jae in the video - and just live out five plus one jae with an actual visual sdjkhfsd

and don't be sorry for sending me long messages! i love hearing about how everyone has been doing nowadays, especially with how busy life could get LOL

AHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY! i hope your birthday wishes come true!

[canonicallysoulmates]

Last year, I did a post looking back at some of the j2 moments 2019 and the 2010’s decade had given us, this year with it being so shit and so many of us needing some cheering up I thought I’d do a 2020 version.

So before we say fuck off to 2020 here are some of the j2 moments this year has given us:

SM isn’t everything but it’s still cute when the boys interact with each other online and the year actually started with it, with both boys liking each other’s New Year’s pictures with their kiddos:

X

Those weren’t the only SM interactions, on a more recent example by which I mean December they had this cute little exchange under a pic Jared posted were he was sleeping:

XX

And Jensen liked this cute pic of his smiling boy:

XX

Of course nothing compares to the best SM moment of the year: Jared’s beautiful, emotional, touching, heartfelt birthday message for Jensen 🥺:

And Jensen’s reply ❤:

X

Before everything went under lockdown we got one convention, among the moments we got from it were:

- Jared talking about his birthday post to Jensen, calling Jensen his boy and saying that he has pictures of him and Jensen just hanging out on his phone

full gifset

- Fist bump

- And a hug

full gifset

To me one of the best j2 moments 2020 gave us was the release of this amazing EW photoshoot that I will forever be in love with (especially this cover I will never be over this cover) 😍

This photoshoot was the gift that kept on giving! Not only did we get beautiful new photos of the boys, but we also got some amazing content from the bts like

full gifset

Look at them! The way Jensen closes his eyes and leans into Jared, the way they look at each other this is what love looks like people! 🥰 Find someone who will look at you like how j2 look are looking at each other in that gif. 

And even the accompanying interview gave us a little something with Jared saying that he burrowed strength from Jensen when he was struggling with the job

Padalecki, 37, who’s been vocal about his struggle in the early seasons, says. “I borrowed strength from Jensen.” x

And this is barely the tip of the iceberg I’m just providing some examples of what that photoshoot gave us but it was a feast!

Summer seemed to be the never ending dry spell, many wondered ‘will we ever get j2 content again?’ and the answer was...yes!

Starting with a little interview the boys did with small moments such as

full gifset

And Jensen confirming he and Jared still live near one another.

When Jensen appeared for the second time on Rosenbaum’s podcast he spend a good part of it being fond over Jared and making them sound totally married sharing a story about Jared’s preferred breakfast burrito and how he and Jared have bickered over it and of course starting of the panel by making it clear covid or no covid him and Jared would be making out:

full gifset

The boys had a joint virtual Q&A panel filled with moments, they were joking around, they made each other laugh, and it all started with Jensen saying how handsome Jared looked.

When filming wrapped up Jared and Jensen had their own celebration with dinner and champagne at one of their favorite restaurants:

"Jared and I wrapped on Thursday, and Saturday night he and I went to one of our all-time favorite restaurants, just us, and toasted with some champagne," Ackles says. x

Those two can’t get enough of each other so they road tripped part of the way home together!

“He and I just drove together all of our stuff across the border. So, we drove up together for season 1 and we drove away together for season 15.” - Jensen in the Chelsea Davis interview

Jared mentioning their road trip during a TVLine interview & during a TVInsider interview 

With Supernatural coming to an end a lot of interviews took place and provided us with content:

The Talk interview gave us a married moment, when the boys were asked who had the messier dressing room Jensen replied Jared did to which Jared literally went no sir, no sir. 

The CNN interview had the boys admitting not working together will be an adjustment with Jensen saying “So, it will be different, and that’s probably when he and I will call each other and be like, ‘I miss you so much!’” as well as this moment  "Oh, I thought you meant we fell in love," Ackles quips."We fell in love, too," Padalecki jokes. When I add that plotline was only in fan fiction, Ackles retorts, "Or was it?" Padalecki erupts in laughter. "There it goes the internet."

In an interview with Chelsea Davis Jensen once again brought up that him and Jared will be contacting each other from their new shows

“Jared said it, he’s like I don’t think it’s really gonna set in until we walk unto the set of some other show. But that’s fine cause then we’ll just turn around and call each other and be like ‘what’s your show like?’”

Jared having a little fond moment over Jensen during one of the TVline segments

Jensen saying that 15yrs ago him and Jared got on a rollercoaster (Supernatural) and that he couldn’t have asked for a better partner:

full gifset

Jared comparing him and Jensen finishing the show to the time they ran the Seattle Marathon together (yes, the marathon they ran together and crossed the finish line holding hands) 😭❤: 

“There were a lot of tears all over but Ackles and I were looking at each other like, ‘Man’. It was kind of like finishing the Seattle Marathon. We did it. Dude, we did it, you know? We put in the work…I’ve been with you for 15 years, 15-½ years. I’ve seen you sweat. I’ve seen you bleed. I’ve seen you hurt. I’ve seen you going through stuff personally and put it aside for this show, for your character and I know I’ve done the same and it was bittersweet.”  x

Jensen talking about his and Jared’s Impala’s in the USA Today interview

Ackles says he was “floored” by the gift: “And it's cool, because now Jared and I can just drag-race around Austin.”

“If we get pulled over, it'd be like, ‘Don't worry. FBI Agent Robert Plant,’" Padalecki adds.

“We've got FBI badges in the glove box,” Ackles confirms.

The last virtual panel of the year was Jared’s and it was full of love for Jensen; Jared mentioned him often, unprompted he shared the story of when the twins were born and how hectic it was for him and Jensen to return to Austin in time for their birth honestly hearing him talk about it it’s clear how important that day was for him too and it’s just so sweet, he said him and Jensen will definitely work together again and he hopes it’ll be sooner rather than later, also said Jensen has a standing invitation to do whatever he wants on Walker, and implied he’s already looked at his schedule to see if he could make it up to Toronto where Jensen will be working in 2021. 

And these are just some moments; I know that with everything going on and time losing all meaning it might have seemed like we had a j2-less year but as you can see that’s not true cause not even a pandemic or this hellish year were able to stop or dim the beauty that is j2 and their relationship. 

This men make me so ridiculously happy, and with this being such a hard year for all of us, for some more than others, it makes me all that extra grateful for them and to them for bringing a smile to my face. I hope that with this post they will bring a smile to yours. I personally am looking forward to seeing what j2 goodies 2021 gives us, I’m hopeful there’ll be plenty, our boys have new projects coming out, God willing cons will be able to pick up again in a safe way, and there’ll be even more j2 content to enjoy. 

Until then, stay safe, take care of yourselves, and Happy New Years my fellow tinhats! ❤

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Two // Wanda Maximoff

chapter one | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter three

author’s note: thank you so much for the feedback on chapter one, everyone! i really appreciate and I’m glad you’re excited for more. hope you enjoy :)

"What do you think of this one?"

I pulled a face, shaking my head. My brother sighed dramatically before moving along the display cabinet, searching for the perfect ring.

Just as he'd said at dinner the other night, we were browsing engagement rings for Wanda, and I was (obviously) hating every second of it. My parents thought it would be good to help Y/B/N whilst also getting me more involved in the whole wedding thing; and I couldn't exactly say no to them, so here I was, half interested in what we were doing.

"What if I can't find anything?" Y/B/N asked, chewing the inside of his cheek as he continued to look. "This is the third jewellers we've been to, Y/N."

Figuring it was time to actually make an effort and be a supportive sister, I rested a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You'll find something," I told him confidently. "It just needs to come to you, y'know? She'll love anything you pick."

He smiled at me. "Thanks. I just don't want to disappoint her. The last thing I want to worry about is her hating the ring."

I chuckled, rounding the cabinet to get a look at a different display. "I doubt she'll hate any of this. Girls love jewellery. This is pretty good jewellery."

"Y/N, you hate jewellery," he pointed out with amusement, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"I don't hate it," I defended. "I'm just not a fan of shopping for it."

He snickered as he continued to peruse the cabinets. "Well, Wanda seems to love it. D'you see how many rings she was wearing that night?"

I breathed out through my nose, definitely remembering. It was hard to forget when her ring-adorned fingers were brushing the top of my hand every few minutes. But obviously I wasn't going to say that to Y/B/N, so I hummed in response.

It went quiet as I tried to find a ring that would suffice. Rings weren't my taste, personally. I was more of a necklace person, so this was just as difficult for me as it was for Y/B/N. They all looked similar to me though, upon closer inspection, had different engravings and patterns in the gold and silver bands.

"So, what did you think of Wanda's brother?" Y/B/N asked, earning my attention.

He was smiling cheekily as he awaited a response.

"Pietro?" I asked with creased brows. He nodded and I continued, "He was nice, I guess. Has a sense of humour."

My brother gave me a knowing look as he looked at the glass display once again. "He's unmarried you know."

"No, thank you," I answered instantly, not particularly fond of discussing my potential marital future with my brother.

"Oh, don't be like that, Y/N," he said with a laugh. "I'm just looking out for you!"

I drummed my fingers on the cabinet top. "Well, I didn't ask you to. I'm perfectly content as I am."

Y/B/N cocked his head to the side as he glanced at me. "You know you can't stay unmarried forever." I opened my mouth to say something, but he was quick to continue. "And no, not because a woman should marry no matter what. But rather because you will most definitely give mum a heart attack."

I closed my mouth, trying to come up with a response, but my shoulders sank at the truth to his words. He half-smiled when he knew I knew he was right.

"I don't want to think about this now," I decided, waving my hand. "Ring. Look. Now."

He laughed again but nodded and stayed quiet. We both continued to have a look around until I was surprisingly certain that I'd found the perfect ring. There was a case filled with rings holding precious gemstones and a particular one stood out to me.

"Hey, Y/B/N, come here," I called him over, eyes never leaving the ring as I moved closer to inspect it. "What about this one?"

Pointing to the glass case, I chose an elegant silver band with a small, non-dominating emerald gemstone sat on top. It wasn't too flashy nor too plain and something told me that it might just be Wanda's taste.

"It'll match her eyes," I said, watching him as he leaned forward to get a better look. "She'll love it."

My brother seemed confused as he straightened up. "I thought her eyes were brown."

I rolled my eyes, taking a step back. "Fine, get a brown ring."

He tried not to laugh as he raised his hands with defeat. "Okay, okay, I believe you, no need for the sarcasm!" He proceeded to call the shopkeeper over to get the ring and glanced at me once more. "You're one hundred percent sure she's got green eyes?"

"Well, they're hazel, but this will definitely compliment them," I assured him, making him shrug as he looked back to the shopkeeper.

To my own dismay, I was certain her eyes were hazel. They were very inviting and the dinner the other night was evidence of that, as I found myself unable to look away whenever she found my gaze. Hopefully she'd like the ring, I guess.

—

The bothersome thing about my brother's engagement was just how many celebrations that followed. A week after the dinner came the engagement party, a celebratory evening with all of our family and friends and my brother's many admirers. The Maximoffs invited their friends, too, sadly not having any extended family to invite as it was only them here in England.

It was an expensive affair, but so was everything when it came to my brother. There was food, drinks, dancing, gifts and much more for the newly-engaged couple, and I once again found myself dressed in an uncomfortable dress of my mother's choice.

If that wasn't enough of a punishment, I was also reunited with my extended family whom only showed their faces on glamorous occasions such as this one. It's not that I didn't like them, but I felt like I rarely knew them, especially when they shared stories from when they used to see me as a baby and expected me to remember the memory like it was yesterday.

I found myself victim to yet another relative at the start of the evening. This time, it was one of my aunties from my father's side whom I vaguely recognised from my childhood. She'd found me by the snacks table where I was recovering from a previous encounter with a cousin of mine, and immediately began pulling my cheeks and reminiscing on how chubby and cute they were when I was – you guessed it – a baby.

"Auntie, I think that–"

"So grown up, but still so cute!" she gushed, cutting me off and proceeding to yank my cheeks so hard that they began to hurt.

I winced, trying to back away, but she dragged me closer by the face, making me groan with displeasure. 

"Y/N, there you are!"

The only reason I knew it was Wanda who called for me was because of her Russian accent, otherwise I was still unable to turn and check because my auntie had me trapped. When Wanda came into sight, stopping by the two of us, my auntie finally let go, now distracted by the brunette. I exhaled gratefully, hands rubbing my cheeks to relieve the ache. I had no doubts they were red from the pinching. God, I hated family reunions.

"I'm very sorry to interrupt," Wanda apologised with an endearing smile as she looked to my auntie, "but please may I steal Y/N away from you for a moment?"

My auntie nodded enthusiastically. "Of course, dear! You're family now! Do whatever you like."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as she said that. Wanda flashed her a final smile before tugging me away, near some deserted high table.

"What did you need?" I asked, quirking a brow.

She was looking around the room when I asked her, before her eyes focused on me. Unlike me, she seemed very comfortable in this environment, and the dress she wore was perfect for her. A scarlet-coloured gown that put anybody else's clothes here to shame. Did she just look good in everything or something?

"I didn't actually need anything," she answered, licking her lips. "I just saw your auntie harassing you and figured you'd like the escape."

Surprised at her observant nature, I cleared my throat and relaxed my shoulders. "Oh, well thanks."

She smiled widely, teeth shining and eyes sparkling and I was now beginning to think she truly had no flaws.

"You look beautiful tonight by the way," she said, and there was nobody around to hear it which made me think she wasn't trying to kiss up like I'd assumed initially.

"Thanks," I returned with a small smile. "I– er– so do you. Is that your favourite colour?"

She was wearing a similar colour the first night we met, so I could only assume it was. Which was a good choice, since she looked good in it.

She glanced down at her dress and nodded. "Something like that."

I leaned on the table as I watched her curiously. "Shouldn't you be with Y/B/N?"

Looking back up, she grinned mischievously. "You trying to get rid of me already?"

Shaking my head, I tried to find the words to say that I wasn't and she'd misinterpreted, but she was doing that thing again where she wouldn't look away first, her eyes glowing with amusement. If I wasn't certain before today that her eyes were a bright hazel colour, I definitely was now.

"I'm kidding," she finally said, laughter spilling from her lips. It was a sweet sound and I suddenly envied my brother for being able to hear it whenever he pleased.

"I just thought that you would be together since it's your engagement party," I explained, a little more flustered than I'd wanted to be.

Her lips pressed together in a suppressed smile as she nodded behind me. I spun around, following her gaze, and spotted my brother across the room charming some guests with, no doubt, another epic tale of his career.

"He seems to be doing fine on his own, milaya," Wanda whispered into my ear, making me freeze at the warmth of her breath tickling my skin.

Shivers ran down my spine as she was close enough for her perfume to infiltrate my nose. Swallowing hard, trying not to be very much attracted to her accent when she spoke English but also Russian, I took a moment to breathe out and clear my head of thoughts containing the Maximoff woman. When I was sure I was okay, I craned my neck to speak to her, only to feel my mouth go dry.

She was stood very close to me still, a teasing smirk on her lips. Up close, her eyes were intoxicating, drawing me in and making me forget where we were and what we were talking about.

"Do I make you nervous, Y/N?" she asked quietly, feigning innocence, her accent thicker than usual.

My lips parted as I tried to say something, but her eyes were distracting and her lips were curved upwards perfectly and I suddenly forgot how to speak English.

She chuckled, stepping back slightly, and I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress as Wanda watched me with amusement.

"Your mother is calling you," she said, nodding behind me. And then I heard my mother indeed calling my name. "I'll leave you to it. Try not to fall victim to another family member."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, eyes falling to her mouth as she bit her lower lip to contain a smile. What was she getting out of this? Did she find joy in making me flustered or was she actually flirting right now? The latter couldn't be possible... she was going to marry my brother. This was her engagement party for crying out loud! She was definitely enjoying making me stumble over myself.

"Right," I spoke, finally finding my words.

With a quick nod, I looked away and followed the sound of my mother's voice. I was unsure why I felt the need to look over my shoulder, but when I did, I saw Wanda watching me still, eyes gleaming even with the distance. I looked away instantly, hoping this weird, flirtatious behaviour of hers would cease soon. I wasn't sure I could take anymore of it.

—

The evening was going well following Wanda's (what I was now calling) tormenting. I stuck to myself when my mother wasn't dragging me around, forcing me to mingle with family friends.

Tucked in the corner with a book I'd managed to sneak along was a good pastime, until halfway through the evening, everybody was brought to the front of the room for an announcement. I almost missed it if it weren't for Pietro finding me and trying not to laugh at my complete disconnect from the event around me.

"They're exchanging the rings," he told me, pulling me from my table and to the front. "Family's got to be there. Including you, Y/N."

I rushed to put my bookmark between my pages as he tugged me along, finally stopping by the front of the crowd alongside our mothers. Standing before everyone were our fathers and the engaged couple themselves, all smiling and putting on the perfect show.

"We are privileged to announce the engagement and union of my beloved daughter, Wanda Maximoff, and everybody's favourite author, Y/B/N Y/L/N," Oleg announced proudly, glass of champagne in his hand.

Both Y/B/N and Wanda exchanged smiles before looking out to everyone. When my brother's eyes met mine, I smiled encouragingly, and when Wanda's eyes met mine, my smile faded as she grinned my way, eyes saying a thousand things, none of which I could decipher.

"They will now present each other with the rings," my dad said, making the crowd chatter excitedly amongst themselves.

All eyes were on the couple as they presented their rings. Wanda had gotten Y/B/N a plain silver band, perfect for the guy who wasn't a fan of jewellery, and he wore it with pride. Then Y/B/N offered up the ring we'd picked in the store and Wanda's smile was as wide as ever when she saw it.

He placed it on her ring finger and she studied it once more, the emerald sparkling under the light and making all the women in the crowd jealous. She pulled him in for a grateful hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and I found myself looking away, not particularly a fan of them getting cosy.

"Gross, right?" Pietro asked, nudging me in the arm slightly. He was trying not to laugh as he avoided looking at the couple up front. "Like, we get it, you're engaged."

A smile appeared on my lips as I glanced at the silver-haired publisher, appreciating his attempt to make me laugh.

"Gross indeed," I agreed.

He rolled his eyes playfully before looking forward again, watching as my father continued to make a speech about how great it was to unify our families.

I listened in, though I'd heard the same spiel several times at home when they'd initiated the idea in the first place. Judging from the look on Pietro's face, he'd heard the same, and I was glad it wasn't just me who felt icky about this whole thing.

This evening couldn't end any sooner.

—

"I just don't understand why I need to go," I complained to my mother.

She was sat before her mirror, finishing applying her makeup and looking presentable for the girl's trip she'd planned for Iryna, Wanda, herself and I.

"Because you're going to become Wanda's sister-in-law and we are all going to become a family," she said like it was obvious, not bothering to look my way. "It'll be fun, Y/N."

I groaned quietly, leaning against the doorframe. A servant fussed around my mother's room, tidying up the mess of clothes she'd left in her wake from picking an outfit. I watched her with boredom, knowing I'd take that job over today's plans any day.

"You might make a new friend with Wanda," my mum continued delightfully. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

I tensed my jaw, eyes narrowing into the window ahead. "Yeah, really nice, mum."

"Good, now go and w–" she began, but was cut off when the doorbell rang from downstairs. Waving her hand, she said, "Go greet the Maximoffs whilst I finish up here, dear."

I sighed, straightening up. "Do I have a choice?"

"Don't forget to smile!" she called after me.

Making my way downstairs, I saw one of our servants opening the door and greeting the Maximoffs politely before letting them inside. Upon spotting me descending the staircase, Iryna smiled brightly.

"Y/N, dear, how lovely to see you!" she exclaimed, and when I got to the bottom, she pulled me in for a surprise hug. "How are you doing this morning, my dear?"

After recovering from the surprise hug, ignoring the way Wanda stifled laughter from behind her mother, I stepped back and gave the older woman a genuine smile.

"I'm doing good, Miss Maximoff," I said, and when she gave me a stern look, I backtracked, remembering her words from the engagement party a few nights ago. "Iryna– right, sorry. I'm doing good. And yourself?"

"Very good now that we're here," she said cheerfully, before nodding for Wanda to join her side. "Wan, what are you doing there? Come and give your sister-in-law a hug the right way!"

I gulped as Wanda did as her mother said, stepping forward without hesitation and pulling me in for a quick hug. Not wanting to look like an idiot, I wrapped my arms around her torso, hoping I wasn't as stiff as I felt. Once again, she smelt really good and I forgot how to breathe.

"Good morning, milaya," she muttered in my ear before pulling away with a harmless smile.

"Morning," I got out, being sure to avoid her gaze as I looked back to her mother. "Can I offer either of you a cup of tea? Or a drink? My mother is just finishing getting ready."

"No need, Y/N!" my mum called as she walked down the stairs behind me. Wearing an apologetic smile, she looked to Iryna and Wanda. "Sorry about that, ladies. I'm all ready to go if you are."

After sharing a greeting with them, my mum led us all outside to the carriage that was waiting to take us into town. We got in and were soon on our way to have the time of our life! (Cue the sarcasm).

"So, Y/N," Iryna said, and I looked up to see her sat beside Wanda who was sat opposite me. "What are your thoughts on this whole engagement? It was quite the affair the other night!"

I forced a smile as I nodded respectfully. "It was a great evening, Iryna. A great start to a successful marriage, I'm sure."

That seemed to start Iryna on a tangent about the engagement and how lovely the evening was and all of the new family members she met on our side. A sigh escaped my lips as I practically relived it with her retelling, making my mum nudge me in the arm gently but scoldingly.

"...and the ring!" Iryna enthused, not noticing my disinterest. "Don't get me started on the ring. Is there anything Y/B/N isn't good at?"

I could name a few things, yes.

With difficulty, I pressed my lips together to stop myself from cracking a knowing smile. Iryna told Wanda to hold out her hand so she could take another look, and as she did, it was the first time I'd seen the ring up close since she'd been given it. I glanced between the ring and her eyes and knew I'd made the right decision.

My mother began to shower Wanda in compliments – "Oh, it matches your eyes, dear! It's like it's meant to be!" – as I sat back and wished we'd arrive at the shops already.

"Between us ladies," my mum said playfully to Wanda, "is it good enough or did you expect something better?"

Wanda chuckled, shaking her head. "I didn't have any expectations, Y/M/N. I would have been happy with whatever Y/B/N picked. But this... this is absolutely stunning. He clearly put a lot of thought into it."

Yes, of course he did. So thoughtful, isn't he? Especially his attention to detail, like when he remembered the colour of your eyes.

Oh, wait.

After what felt like forever, we finally reached the shops and could escape that shrinking carriage for a few minutes before heading into a dress shop to suffocate yet again.

As usual, I followed my mother around like a lost puppy, letting her take the lead with picking some clothes. She was deep into conversation with Iryna, the two of them bonding instantly as they talked about their interests and marriage and their children's engagement.

At one point, I left them to it, resorting to browsing through a rack that had some pretty pastel dresses hanging from it. I didn't have plans to buy anything since I didn't need anything, but it didn't hurt to look.

"Hey," Wanda's voice echoed from behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder to see her joining my side.

"Hey," I replied, continuing to look through the dresses.

She browsed through the rack also, going through each dress slowly as she smiled to herself. "So, you don't like shopping I take it."

I hummed in agreement. "Not really."

She nodded, continuing her browsing. "You don't like parties either. Or dinners." I hummed again and she continued, "And you don't like it when your brother gets all the attention."

I hummed subconsciously, before realising what she said. Stopping my browsing, I looked to her with furrowed brows. "I never said that."

Mischief dancing in her eyes, she glanced me way and winked playfully. "You didn't need to."

Clenching my jaw slightly, I busied myself with going through the hangers, hoping the heat creeping up my neck would disperse. I wasn't going to let Wanda get to me yet again. It was like she had some kind of magic spell on me, making me unable to think straight whenever she was in my vicinity.

"I know you picked my ring by the way," she said after a moment of silence.

I licked my lips and played dumb, not looking her way. "What do you mean? Y/B/N chose it."

She snickered. "I know it was you, Y/N. No man in the world is that thoughtful."

I stayed quiet, figuring it was my best option. She seemed to find this entertaining as she turned to face me, leaning against the rack and watching me curiously.

"I must ask though. Why emerald?"

Fingers playing with the fabric of the dress before me, I shrugged nonchalantly. "Why not?"

She laughed, and it was the second time she'd done so so freely, making the pit of my stomach flip uncontrollably at the sound.

"You don't seem like the type to just do things," she observed. "There had to be a reason. Please enlighten me."

Once again, I shrugged as I made sure not to look her way. I wasn't planning to get sucked in by her killer eyes yet again.

"I'm not blind," I told her casually. "I saw it and remembered that you have hazel eyes that sometimes look green. I thought it would suit you. A mere artistic observation."

"Ah, I see," she said with a nod, playing along. "Well, you have good taste. Thank you. I adore it."

"It was nothing," I assured her, hoping she couldn't hear my heart beating ever-so-quickly in my chest. The longer she watched me, the more flustered I got.

Suddenly, she stepped forward, her hand resting on the small of my back. The simplest of touches had me paralysed, at a loss for words, frozen in place. Mentally I knew that it wasn't right that she made me react like this. But my body wouldn't listen to my brain and Wanda seemed to realise that, clearly revelling in my misery.

"So, you remembered my eye colour after just two meetings, huh?" she asked lightheartedly, leaning in, her hand still pressed to my back gently.

Finally finding the ability to stand my ground, I said, "I'm very observant," and I turned to look at her to show her that whatever game she was playing wasn't going to work anymore. Of course, that was a huge mistake, because as soon as my eyes locked with hers, I lost all resolve.

"That you are," she noted with a smirk, before her hand dropped to her side and she nodded to the long-forgotten dress in my hand. "You should get it. It suits you."

And with that comment, she left me alone to join our mothers yet again. I breathed out shakily, realising that Wanda Maximoff was becoming a bigger issue than I thought. 

After purchasing some new dresses from several stores (no, I didn't buy the dress Wanda wanted me to), the four of us stopped by a café for a spot of lunch. Despite the flustered mess I became whenever Wanda gave me more attention than we both know she should have, I was having an okay time.

Iryna was very sweet, wanting to get to know me since we would be family soon, and made me feel at ease whenever she could. My mother was too distracted by her and Wanda's presence to tell me off for complaining, and it was just genuinely kind of nice to get out.

I was drinking a cup of tea as we waited for our food order when my mum tried to get the details on Wanda's newly-planned date with my brother in a few days.

"You're going to the theatre, right?" she asked Wanda eagerly, as if she didn't already know everything anyway.

Y/B/N had talked about this literally last night at dinner. It was to be Wanda's and his first official date, and the first real opportunity away from family and prying eyes to get to know each other better.

"Yes, he got tickets to see a new play I've never heard of," she admitted with a chuckle. "It'll be a chance to get to know him better. The only things I know of him are what my family have told me and what I've learnt from everyone around us."

Iryna smiled as she watched her daughter, whilst my mother waved her hand optimistically.

"Oh, I'm sure the date will go splendidly," she assured Wanda. "It's no secret that you're both very attractive, young adults. If there are no sparks between you, then we're all done for."

At this comment, Iryna and my mother both erupted into laughter, like it was some kind of joke that only middle-aged women seemed to get. I raised my eyebrows and dropped them behind a cup of tea, figuring it was best to stay quiet.

"I'm sure it will," Wanda said in agreement, though her voice was quieter, unable to be heard behind their laughter.

Surprisingly, I found myself intrigued by this rarely seen version of Wanda. It was a similar version to the one I'd seen the night of the dinner, when I showed her around upstairs and the conversation of my brother crept in. It wasn't hard to forget her ability to dance around the question to whether she liked him or not.

And now, she seemed to wear a false smile as she mulled over their date. I guess it was strange to see since I naturally figured she'd want to marry him – pretty much any woman in the city did – but maybe that wasn't the case.

"...tell her what he's like," my mother insisted, pulling me away from my observation. "You're his sister. Who better than you to give her an idea?"

Realising what she was saying, I tried not to choke on my tea. I lowered the cup and shook my head calmly, though the intent was very much urgent.

"She should just see," I said uncertainly. "I mean, what better way to know than to just speak to him?"

One deathly glance from my mother and I straightened up, looking to the Maximoffs before me.

"But if I was to say something," I continued smoothly, making my mother relax at my words, "I'd say that my brother has always been a very respectful man. He's kind-hearted and he's caring."

Iryna was hanging onto my every word whilst Wanda stared at me but seemed elsewhere.

"And he's really excited to get to know you better, Wanda," I said truthfully, looking to the oddly-quiet brunette with a small reassuring smile. "He really likes you."

Iryna mentioned something about Y/B/N being just the man her Wanda deserves, but I was barely paying attention as I looked to the girl in question. She returned my smile, void of teasing or mischief like usual, and nodded quickly before looking down to her own cup of tea.

She was certainly a strange one.

[soundsfaebutokay]

So I've recc'd this video before, but it deserves its own post because it's one of my favorite things on youtube. It's a Tedx Talk by comics writer, editor, and journalist Jay Edidin, and I really think that it will connect with a lot of people here.

If you live and breathe stories of all kinds, you might like this.

If you care about media representation, you might like this.

If you're neurodivergent, you might like this.

If you're interested in a gender transition story that veers from the norm, you might like this.

If you love the original Leverage and especially Parker, and understand how important it is that a character like her exists, you will definitely like this.

Transcript below the cut:

You Are Here: The Cartography of Stories

by Jay Edidin

I am autistic. And what this means in practice is that there are some things that are easier for me than they are for most people, and a great many things that are somewhat harder, and these affect my life in more or less overt ways. As it goes, I'm pretty lucky. I've been able to build a career around special interests and granular obsession. My main gig at the moment is explaining superhero comics continuity and publishing history for which work I am somehow paid in actual legal currency—which is both a triumph of the frivolous in an era of the frantically pragmatic, and a job that's really singularly suited to my strengths and also to my idiosyncrasies.

I like comics. I like stories in general, because they make sense to me in ways that the rest of the world and my own mind often don't. Self-knowledge is not an intuitive thing for me. What sense of self I have, I've built gradually and laboriously and mostly through long-term pattern recognition. For decades, I didn't even really have a self-image. If you'd asked me to draw myself, I would eventually have given you a pair of glasses and maybe a very messy scribble of hair, and that would've been about it. But what I do know—backwards, forwards, and in pretty much every way that matters—are stories. I know how they work. I understand their language, their complex inner clockwork, and I can use those things to extrapolate a sort of external compass that picks up where my internal one falls short. Stories—their forms, their structure, the sense of order inherent to them—give me the means to navigate what otherwise, at least for me, would be an impassable storm of unparsable data. Or stories are a periscope, angled to access the parts of myself I can't intuitively see. Or stories are a series of mirrors by which I can assemble a composite sketch of an identity I rarely recognize whole...which is how I worked out that I was transgender, in my early thirties, by way of a television show.

This is my story. And it's about narrative cartography, and representation, and why those things matter. It's about autism and it's about gender and it's about how they intersect. And it's about the kinds of people we know how to see, and the kinds of people we don't. It's not the kind of story that gets told a lot, you might hear a lot, because the narrative around gender transition and dysphoria in our culture is really, really prescriptive. It's basically the story of the kid who has known for their whole life that they're this and not that, and that story demands the kind of intuitive self-knowledge that I can't really do, and a kind of relationship to gender that I don't really have—which is part of why it took me so long to figure my own stuff out.

So, to what extent this story, my story has a beginning, it begins early in 2014 when I published an essay titled, "I See Your Value Now: Asperger's and the Art of Allegory." And it explored, among other things, the ways that I use narrative and narrative structures to navigate real life. And it got picked up in a number of fairly prominent places that got linked, and I casually followed the ensuing discussion. And I was surprised to discover that readers were fairly consistently assuming I was a man. Now, that in itself wasn't a new experience for me, even though at the time I was writing under a very unambiguously female byline. It had happened in the letter columns of comics I'd edited. It had happened when a parody Twitter account I'd created went viral. When I was on staff at Wired, I budgeted for fancy scotch by putting a dollar in a box every time a reader responded in a way that made it clear they were assuming I was a man in response to an article where my name was clearly visible, and then I had to stop doing that because it happened so often I couldn't afford to keep it up. But in all of those cases, the context, you know, the reasons were pretty obvious. The fields I'd worked in, the beats I covered, they were places where women had had to fight disproportionally hard for visibility and recognition. We live in a culture that assumes a male default, so given a neutral voice and a character limit, most readers will assume a male author.

But this was different, because this wasn't just a book I'd edited, it wasn't a story I'd reported—it was me, it was my story. And it made me uncomfortable, got under my skin in ways that the other stuff really hadn't. And so I did what I do when that happens, and I tried to sort of reverse-engineer it to look at the conclusions and peel them back to see the narratives behind them and the stories that made them tick. And I started this, I started this by going back to the text of the essay, and you know, examining it every way I could think of: looking at craft, looking at content. And in doing so, I was surprised to realize that while I had written about a number of characters with whom I identified closely, that every single one of those characters I'd written about was male. And that surprised me even more than the responses to the essay had, because I've spent my career writing and talking and thinking about gender and representation in popular media. In 2014, I'd been the feminist gadfly of an editorial department and multiple mastheads. I'd been a founding board member of an organization that existed to advocate for more and better representation of women and girls in comics characters and creators. And most of my favorite characters, the ones I'd actively seek out and follow, were women. Just not, apparently, the characters I saw myself in.

Now I still didn't realize it was me at this point. Remember: self-knowledge, not very intuitive for me. And while I had spent a lot of time thinking about gender, I'd never really bothered to think much about my own. I knew academically that the way other people read and interpreted my gender affected and had influenced a lifetime of social and professional interactions, and that those in turn had informed the person I'd grown up into during that time. But I really believed, like I just sort of had in the back of my head, that if you peeled away all of that social conditioning, you'd basically end up with what I got when I tried to draw a self-portrait. So: a pair of glasses, messy scribble of hair, and in this case, maybe also some very strong opinions about the X-Men. I mean, I knew something was off. I'd always known something was off, that my relationship to gender was messy and uncomfortable, but gender itself struck me as messy and uncomfortable, and it had never been a large enough part of how I defined myself to really feel like something that merited further study, and I had deadlines, and...so it was always on the back burner. So, I looked, I looked at what I had, at this improbable group of exclusively male characters. And I looked and I figured that if this wasn't me, then it had to be a result of the stories I had access to, to choose from, and the entertainment landscape I was looking at. And the funny thing is, I wasn't wrong, exactly. I just wasn't right either.

See, the characters I'd written about had one other significant trait in common aside from their gender, which is that they were all more or less explicitly, more or less heavily coded as autistic. And I thought, "Ah, yes. This explains it. This is under representation in fiction echoing under representation in life and vice versa." Because the characteristics that I'd honed in on, that I particularly identified with in these guys, were things like emotional unavailability and social awkwardness and granular obsession, and all of those are characteristics that are seen as unsympathetic and therefore unmarketable in female characters. Which is also why readers were assuming that I was a man.

Because, you see, here's the thing. I'm not the only one who uses stories to navigate the world. I'm just a little more deliberate about it. For humans, stories formed the bridge between data and understanding. They're where we look when we need to contextualize something new, or to recognize something we're pretty sure we've seen before. They're how we identify ourselves; they're how we locate ourselves and each other in the larger world. There were no fictional women like me; there weren't representations of women like me in media, and so readers were primed not to recognize women like me in real life either.

Now by this point, I had started writing a follow-up essay, and this one was also about autism and narratives, but specifically focused on how they intersected with gender and representation in media. And in context of this essay, I went about looking to see if I could find even one female character who had that cluster of traits I'd been looking for, and I was asking around in autistic communities. And I got a few more or less useful one-off suggestions, and some really, really splendid arguments about semantics and standards, and um...then I got one answer over and over and over in community after community after community. "Leverage," people told me. "You have to watch Leverage."

So I watched Leverage. Leverage is five seasons of ensemble heist drama. It's about a team of very skilled con artists who take down corrupt and powerful plutocrats and the like, and it's a lot of fun, and it's very clever, and it's clever enough that it doesn't really matter that it's pretty formulaic, and I enjoyed it a lot. But what's most important, what Leverage has is Parker.

Parker is a master thief, and she is the best of the best of the best in ways that all of Leverage's characters are the best of the best. And superficially, she looks like the kind of woman you see on TV. So she's young, and she's slender, and she's blonde, and she's attractive but in a sort of approachable way. And all of that familiarity is brilliant misdirection, because the thing is, there are no other women like Parker on TV. Because Parker—even if it's never explicitly stated in the show—Parker is coded incredibly clearly as autistic. Parker is socially awkward. Her speech tends to have limited inflection; what inflection it does have is repetitive and sounds rehearsed a lot of the time. She's not emotionally literate; she struggles with it, and the social skills she develops over the series, she learns by rote, like they're just another grift. When she's not scaling skyscrapers or cartwheeling through laser grids, she wears her body like an ill-fitting suit. Parker moves like me. And Parker, Parker was a revelation—she was a revolution unto herself. In a media landscape where unempathetic women usually exist to either be punished or "loved whole," Parker got to play the crabby savant. And she wasn't emotionally intuitive but it was never ever played as the product of abuse or trauma even though she had survived both of those—it was just part of her, as much as were her hands or her eyes. And she had a genuine character arc. My god, she had a genuine romantic arc, even. And none of that required her to turn into anything other than what she was. And in Parker I recognized a thousand tics and details of my life and my personality...but. I didn't recognize myself.

Why? What difference was there in Parker, you know, between Parker and the other characters I'd written about? Those characters, they'd spanned ethnicities and backgrounds and different media and appearances and the only other characteristic they all had in common was their gender. So that was where I started to look next, and I thought, "Well, okay, maybe, maybe it's masculinity. Maybe if Parker were less feminine, she'd click with me the way those other characters had." So then I tried to imagine a Parker with short hair, who's explicitly butch, and...nothing. So okay, I extended it in what seems like the only logical direction to extend it. I said, "Well, if it's not masculinity, what if it's actual maleness? What if Parker were a man?" Ah. Yeah.

In the end, everything changed, and nothing changed, which is often the way that it goes for me. Add a landmark, no matter how slight, and the map is irrevocably altered. Add a landmark, and paths that were invisible before open wide. Add a landmark, and you may not have moved, but suddenly you know where you are and where you can go.

I wasn't going to tell this story when I started planning this talk. I was gonna tell a similar story, it was about stories, like this is, about narratives and the ways that they influence our culture and vice versa. And it centered around a group of women at NASA who had basically rewritten the narrative around space exploration, and it was a lot more fun, and I still think it was more interesting. But it's also a story you can probably work out for yourselves. In fact it's a story some of you probably have, if you follow that kind of thing, which you probably do given that you're here. And this is a story, my story is not a story that I like to tell. It's not a fun story to talk about because it's very personal and I am a very private person. And it's not universal. And it's not always relatable, and it's definitely not aspirational. And it's not the kind of story that you tend to encounter unless you're already part of it...which is why I'm telling it now. Because the thing is, I'm not the only person who uses stories to parse the world and navigate it. I'm just a little more deliberate. Because I'm tired of having to rely on composite sketches.

Open your maps. Add a landmark. Reroute accordingly.

[may-day-voice]

Mother's Day

w/ Izuku Midoriya, Shouto Todoroki & Katsuki Bakugou

please do not repost, but you have permission to reblog :)

• Watch/ Listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Fu2ifujKQI4

• Read on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1109387237-oneshots-pro-hero-au-172732014-mother%27s-day

IZUKU MIDORIYA | Potluck Brunch

"Do you think that this is too much?"

"I'm sure it's fine."

Midoriya's smile warmed the chilliest of mornings while the cherry blossoms began to drift in the spring breeze. It was a busy start to the day grocery shopping for a surprise brunch he wanted to make for his mother. That did however include having to wake at four in the morning to peruse through the markets for the freshest ingredients.

You yawned loudly while carrying various shopping bags on hand, eyeing Midoriya carrying the more heavier ingredients with him - mostly the meat.

"Still trying to wake up?" Asked Midoriya.

"Just trying to slip back into my old routine," you explained, nuzzling your nose into your scarf. "I used to clean my equipment every two days at the break of dawn."

"You used to clean your guns?"

"Dismantle and put them back together too. I used to time myself."

You spoke casually and nonchalantly about those memories, recalling that competitive feeling to beat your time again and again. However, you heard nothing from Midoriya, finding that he only stared at you quizzically.

"What? I was... bored," you slowly explained, a little embarrassed about the topic.

"That explains your reaction time," pondered Midoriya, his eyes staring upwards in thought. "Constant practice and muscle memory would only make them second nature to you."

"Are you theorizing now?"

"Hehe, maybe a little."

You grimaced and yet smiled at Midoriya, bumping your hip into his playfully. He was still the observant and analytical man, always putting forward his ingenuity over his Quirk.

Soon, the both of you made your way to his old family home in an apartment complex, taking the elevator up before approaching the very familiar front door to his mother's. After a knock or two, the door opened, revealing a short woman whose eyes upon seeing the both of you, smiled happily.

"Izuku," she greeted, receiving a large hug from Midoriya.

"Nice to see you mum," he spoke, pulling away for you to greet her as well.

"So good to see you Inko," you cooed with a gentle hug. "Hope we haven't disturbed you."

"Oh nonsense, what's all this?" She asked, eyeing all of the bags in hand.

"Happy Mother's Day," cheered Midoriya while he lifted the heavier bags in hand. "We're going to treat you with potluck brunch."

"Izuku had this planned over the last week," you explained with another yawn escaping your throat. "Nothing but the best ingredients."

Inko glanced between yourself and Midoriya, along with all of the ingredients on hand in astonishment, before her eyes pricked with tears. You contemplated whether she was growing upset, however she closed in for another hug, sharing it between the both of you.

"You two work so hard. You didn't need to do this," she cried in happiness. Because of her short height, you glanced at Midoriya who was also standing awkwardly from the hug, finding that smile on his face again.

"We wanted to," he comforted while he gently pulled away, allowing Inko to release her sudden hold before he entered the apartment. "We'll take care of the cooking and cleaning."

"Today is meant for you," you reassured her, following Midoriya with a smile. "You don't lift a finger at all."

"As long as Cutie doesn't grill a cake," he teased from within, causing your shoulders to stiffen from the twang of embarrassment.

"Huh?" uttered Inko in confusion.

"Hey! It was only once!"

SHOUTO TODOROKI | Visiting Hours

Entering into the hospital ward still felt like an odd experience. Already having bypassed the reception desk with ease, Todoroki and yourself brought a few gifts for the occasion, including a small bouquet of Autumn Bellflowers.

"Have your brother and sister visited already?" You asked curiously with the resonant sounds of footsteps filling the halls.

"Natsu visited after work, and Fuyumi spent the day with Mum yesterday," bluntly replied Todoroki.

"That's good."

Todoroki eyed a smile on your lips, the both of you walking side by side while he smiled to himself. He cherished these little stares he could steal to see you happy next to him, hoping for you to slowly become more ingrained in his life now that you were engaged.

"What?" You uttered, catching his eye on you.

"Nothing," he replied, still with a warm smile.

Soon, Room 315 was in sight before Todoroki knocked on the door, opening it for you to enter first. You spotted his mother by the window, enjoying the gifts that were brought over the past day until her tired yet calm eyes spotted you by the door.

"Welcome," she greeted, walking up to you with open arms and hugging you. That was unexpected. You quipped in surprise, before she gently released you to turn to her son.

"Hello Mum," cooly greeted Todoroki.

"Please sit," invited Rei, pulling you gently by the arm to seat you by the dining table while Todoroki placed the bouquet of flowers elsewhere. Though the tug of Rei's hands were gentle, it held purpose. You felt it in her grip, in the tiny fingertips while she pulled you into the room.

Something wasn't odd, but it was different.

"How are you both?" She asked with delight.

"Aside from work, we've been doing fine," replied Todoroki.

"Yeah, there's been a hiccup, but nothing that we couldn't handle with some old friends," you added with a smile.

"I've seen the news," started Rei, her eyes dulling a little from her thoughts. "That man that is causing a mess, there's no sign of him?"

You turned to Todoroki, catching his eye once more before he joined the table, calmly holding onto his mother's hands.

"The Commission's got eyes on him. We'll find him soon," he reassured, receiving a calm

smile from his mother. "How are you going, Mum?"

"I've been well. Natsuo brought over some gifts and Fuyumi visited with some delicious treats and meals." Rei's eyes turned to Todoroki, filled with a sadness you had seen time and time before. "Your father came by as well, only for a short while though."

"I see," shortly replied Todoroki.

"Will you be slowly moving back to the estate?" You asked out of the blue, catching Rei off guard. "I mean, there's a place there for you, and maybe it's good to stay close with... family."

"Very soon," replied Rei without hesitation. "It's a shame. I was hoping to see you more often."

"Oh, I mean I don't live far from the hospital so if ever you need anything I'm a phone call away."

A silence befell the room, one that felt odd, like how Rei held your hand not too long ago.

"What?"

"Oh it's not that I don't appreciate the offer, but I would've thought Shouto would have invited the suggestion to you," explained Rei with that content smile, almost similar to the ones she gave on Todoroki's birthday.

"Love, would you like to move in with me?" Asked Todoroki from beside you without warning and without fail.

A stammer stopped your mouth from forming comprehensible words, taken back by the question. You looked between the two, spotting that content and warm smile on mother and son. Ones that you couldn't object or argue with. This was supposed to be Mother's Day.

"This is the best gift yet," commented Rei, smiling gently at your flabbergasted reaction.

KATSUKI BAKUGOU | Future In-Laws

Both Bakugou and yourself stood by the front door of his old family home, having arranged half a day to visit his mother for Mother's Day. You noticed how blue the sky was, how bright the sun shone, and how calm the Neighbourhood felt.

If only Bakugou was as cheerful.

You eyed him every once in a while, his face unchanging with that scowl etched in his brow. It wasn't his normal, usual, aggravated self. It was more of a-

"What?" He growled, his eyes glancing into yours.

"Nothing," you responded coolly with a smile.

"Don't gloat."

"I'm not."

"If that hag says anything, we're walking back home."

A snort escaped your nostrils, a small one but nonetheless one that continued to bubble into your shoulders. "I love your parents," you commented.

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"You're here!" Exclaimed Mitsuki, causing a cringe on Bakugou's snarl but a smile from yours.

"Hi Mitsuki!" You chirped, hugging the woman by the door.

"Oh hush, you can call me Mum now."

"Mum?"

"Shut up hag," reacted Bakugou with a snarl. "They're not calling you that."

"I give them my consent, Katsuki. You have no say in the matter," snarked Mitsuki.

The tension was, well, insurmountably tense, standing between two very aggressive individuals in a staring contest. Until you spotted a familiar set of eyes from inside the house, waving meekly despite his tall stature.

"Hi Masaru," you greeted with a wave of your own.

"I see the day has started," he commented while his eyes worriedly observed the growling match his wife and son were dealing with by the door. You only chuckled until-

"Oh, you can call him Dad now, or Pop whichever you prefer," mused Mitsuki with a chirp, with no sign of aggravation on her face or in her voice.

"Honey, they don't have to call me-"

"No, I won't accept it. Our Katsuki has found his one and only, so they're now a part of the family!"

"Will you shut it you old hag?" Interrupted Bakugou again. "They're not calling you that, and they don't want to."

"You're not the voice of reason here, you brat! Even as a man, you're still a child!"

You stuttered at the sudden change and turn of phrase every so often. The thought crossed your mind that you would've been so used to this family dynamic now. But there were some things you hoped you weren't the center of attention for. That was difficult when you were between Bakugou and his mother.

You gently held onto Bakugou's arm, pressing your body against it in hopes to comfort him while you smiled at Mitsuki.

"Why don't we cross that bridge when we cross the threshold?" You suggested. "After all it's your day today and we are happy to spend it with you out of our Hero schedules."

A deep sigh escaped Mitsuki's lips while she smiled back at you. "Of course, I still think that you're now a part of the Bakugou family, so no pressure when you're comfortable with the new names."

"You'll hear it straight from me," you reassured, causing a giggle to erupt from Mitsuki.

"Splendid, come on in." Mitsuki skipped inside the family home, leaving Bakugou and yourself by the door to spot Masaru following after her, mouthing his thanks to you.

You felt Bakugou's aggressive and tense nature wash away while you held onto his arm throughout the small conversation with Mitsuki, tenderly rubbing your hand against his skin before you noticed his stare on you.

"You okay?" You asked with a smile.

"Yeah, no thanks to that hag," he retorted. "But... thanks."

"Always here for you."

You felt his large hand intertwine with yours, fingers pressed together, palms touching. A smirk appeared on Bakugou's lips before he led you into his old family home, a place you had become acquainted with for years, now stepping into it as his fiancé.

[itsastrobixch]

hello 🖤 I will also be going through your posts to try and answer my questions myself… but because asks are open I thought I’d send it in as well just in case you have ideas on it.

I’m going to list 4 placements but of course ignore one or more of them if it’s not relevant or you don’t have ideas related to it… Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Libra Venus, Gemini Mars.

Questions- So I am about to turn 30, but have never dated before in my life let alone had sex with anyone. I want to meet another woman and start a relationship but I barely know where to look or how to start and honestly I’m such a particular person it just seems unlikely. I know I can be happy (and sexually pretty active and physically fulfilled) alone, so that is good. I’m not distressed by this too much. But it surprises me how much this has stumped me. Do I even know who I want to be with? Where will someone like her be? Do I know how to be attractive to who I am attracted to, or keep up with a relationship long term? Is there anyone who would fully agree with having our relationship be private/secret but also dedicated and monogamous? Should I give up on that?

Those questions may be to diffuse to answer. If you don’t want to approach that but maybe want to answer a question, my second one is more concrete. Basically I am about to become the leader of something I am apart of. What likely mistakes to avoid?

If you don’t answer that’s fine. Thank you

Heya 🤗

I'm not an expert on leadership skills..but uh..i can offer u some tips I know .

1. Always consult with your team if you're taking any major decisions which will affect them too.

2. Don't show favouritism among ur team members however much you're close to certain people there.

3. Show your team that you understand and know them.

4. If u come under the fire be prepared to take the brunt. At that time u can't point hands. That's not the situation for it.

Now that that's over moving on to the more important part,

Didn't want this to go public but since it's anon we've to work with that. See...love all of your worries in the first part are... normal and natural worries. Social anxiety or anxiety about life if u will. Maybe you are overwhelmed rn. Astrology, sometimes doesn't hold answers to all of our worries and I'm saying this as an astrologer. Like ..there are sometimes when life is shitty and it's not always related to planets and retrogrades. You go through stuff you don't deserve. In your case, these questions u just asked me are the ones you've to be asking yourself darling. Reflect on yourself. Yes you say you're happy and content with being alone, but if u were really happy about that u wouldn't have worried about it right ? Sit down and think. Why do i miss out chances on relationships. There are no mistakes, in terms of why you're single. I'm not asking u to see where you're going wrong cause you aren't. U just haven't found the person who'll embrace u whole I'll say.

TO ALL THE ASTROLOGERS ,

when people like anon come to u with life issues pls don't try to relate that to astrology. Don't make it their escape. If they need life advice give them that. However much we know. People are desperate. They wanna know why the things that they're going through are going a certain way. It's unhealthy for us and them to make it All about astrology. It's time we acknowledge that not all things is astrology, especially life issues like this, and that not always will we find an answer to shitty stuff in astrology. Pls let us stop encouraging the idea that if they're going through some shitty times, it's solution can be found in astrology. This makes them codependent on astrology and they always look to it to find answers that won't be there in the charts but in themselves.

The answer to why you're single won't be in the planets love. It's in you. You can't look at placements and figure out why that is. Sure there may be some planetary influence like Saturn or some asteroid delaying things but that is not an excuse for you to just make that the reason why you're single uk. Nothing in astrology is concrete. All planets do are just give us the blueprint and we choose how to move based on that.

Ik this could be a controversial take. If anyone has any questions..or clarifications or Just about anything..just DM me.

[kakaxhi]

Keigo Takami | Happy Without Me

Pairing: Keigo Takami x Fem!Reader Summary: the break up between you and Keigo was mutual, but seeing you again months later has him realizing he's not over you like he thought Warnings: language, angst, alcohol consumption, some suggestive content Word Count: 1.1k A/N: loosely based on the song "Happy Without Me" by Monsta X

"Oh look, it's Hawks!"

Keigo sighed, forcing a smile as he waved to the woman announcing his presence. Sure, he adored his fans but he wouldn't mind having some time to himself once in a while. He grabbed a drink, eyes scanning the room for any familiar faces. He was meeting some friends and haven't seen them yet, his golden eyes widening as they landed on a familiar figure - yours.

He hadn't seen you since your break up almost six months ago and here you were dressed to the nines. A drink in hand as you chatted up some friends, a wide smile on your face. The way you were dancing to the music along with the person behind you had him thinking you really had moved on.

But it was fine, so did he. At least, that's what he told himself.

His friends showing up took his attention away from you, but he missed the way your eyes glanced over to him once he turned away.

Keigo stepped outside to grab some air a few hours later. He let out a sigh of relief as the noise faded into the background, the people swarming around finally gone.

"You could've at least said hello, you know."

He quickly turned, shocked he didn't feel you coming up behind him.

"Sorry, you seemed busy. Didn't wanna interrupt you and your friends."

You chuckled, nudging him slightly, "You're my friend too, Hawks."

His smile faltered, hating that you've gone back to using his hero name.

"Yeah, I know."

"It's been some time since we've properly hung out, call me when you're not busy. I'd love to see you."

He nodded, watching as you turned to go back inside. He called out to you, stuttering slightly over his words.

"Do you still think about me? I mean, I- I think about you sometimes, I was just wondering."

He wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole, but your answer still shocked him nonetheless.

"Of course I do. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I stopped caring about you."

Your words left him stunned in his place.

-

It was a little over a week since Keigo last saw you. Unable to sleep after patrol, he scrolled through his social media only to stop when your picture popped up on his feed. You were with the same group of friends he saw the other day, your smile lighting up your features.

Your happiness was always a priority to him. Always making sure you were safe and sound even if he couldn't be with you as much as he wanted. Yet here he was, pissed at himself for letting you go. He loved seeing you happy, but hated it wasn't him causing you to smile.

He had so much he wanted to say to you. How he regretted that it didn't work out. How much he missed you. How he didn't think about you sometimes, but all the time.

He sighed, thinking there was no way you'd wanna hear all this now. Not when you were doing so well without him. And if he was truly being honest with himself, that thought opened up old wounds he thought had healed a long time ago.

-

Keigo was surprised to see you standing outside his door. Although what confused him was the small box in your arms. He stood off to the side, letting you in and shutting the door behind you.

"I'm sorry I didn't call, I just needed to get this over with before I changed my mind again."

"It's okay, was gonna call you anyways. Just been busy, you know? Anyway, what's all this?"

"Just some stuff I found that belonged to you. I've been meaning to bring it by but, I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

Keigo got a good look at you then, even though you were smiling it didn't reach your eyes. He never liked seeing you this way, all upset. He decided not to push it, and rummage through the box.

"Oh wow, you kept all this?"

"I didn't have the heart to throw it away."

He turned toward you, golden eyes meeting your own. He stood up, taking your hand gently in his.

"Do you remember when I saw you a few weeks ago? And I said I think about you sometimes?"

You nodded, "Yeah, why?"

He gulped, voice shaky as he spoke, "I lied. I think about you all the time. See you in person? It brought back feelings I thought had went away."

"Keigo, why now? After all this time, when you can have anyone you want."

He shrugged, holding your hand against his chest, "Being completely honest, I was doing okay, talking to a few people. But [Y/N], no one compares to you."

"Keigo-"

"I mean it. Shit, you know I love seeing you happy but I hate seeing you happy without me."

You looked away from him, unable to keep his gaze, "I was happy with you."

His silence caused you to look at him. This time you held his gaze, the tension between the two of you so thick before finally breaking. Keigo had his hands on your waist in an instant, lips slotting with yours. You couldn't deny you've missed this, missed him.

He placed his forehead against yours once the need for air was too great. Hands rested on your cheeks as his voice wavered.

"Don't leave. Please just - just stay. Please."

You knew what would happen if you did, but feeling in arms felt so right. Keigo waited patiently for your answer, lips ghosting over your own. Looking into his eyes, you could see unspoken emotions hidden behind golden-brown. You were sure you needed him, the thoughts of what would happen afterwards a concern for later.

You placed another kiss on his lips, squeezing his hands as you spoke, "I'm not going anyway, Keigo."

[jojotichakorn]

Okay, but this fandom came back to life with Bad Buddy. I haven't seen people here be so excited since MOD and ATOTS.

And the way every single person is theorizing and analyzing the show and the amount of content being thrown in our faces ?? Blessing to us all.

Anyway, opinion on the preview for episode 4? Do you think Pat means "will you like me" in a friend's way or in a romantic way ? I'm certain they're both aware of their feelings, but unsure of one another and if those feelings are being reciprocated. Then there's also the fact that Pran is scared shitless of having feelings for Pat and is trying to drown them as much as he can, even tho he's been failing quite miserably. And we know that will lead to part of the big sad.

So, idk what to make of all the little things, not that I do not know, but I feel like P'Aof is going to hit us with a twist out of nowhere and we will all be left dumbfounded.

Gib theories, I crave pain xd

oh, absolutely. we are all going feral over this drama, and rightfully so.

as for the preview for ep 4, i think it's really vague tbh. like, we more or less know what will happen (the sports competition, pat staying over at pran's room), but emotionally? idk what this episode will bring at all.

as for "will you like me?", i see this moment in two extremes. to me, it's either entirely taken out of context and means much less than the preview makes it seem, OR it will be a real moment of vulnerability, in which case i think it will be very blurred in terms of how platonic or romantic it is, and it will be more of "what do you think of me as a person? how do you see me?"

i'm glad i've found another person who thinks they are both aware of their feelings. i see a lot of people thinking pat has no clue, and i disagree - i think he knows, and i think he shows it too.

i also think that pran being scared will definitely lead to some sad, but i don't think it's The Big Sad. you know how there is always some angst-ish plotline somewhere around the beginning of the second part of the series, and then fucking heart-ripping angst closer to the end? i think pran being scared of his feelings will be the former, the latter will be brought about by the parents.

but at the end of the day, though there are a lot of things that we can suppose, i definitely agree that p'aof is gonna surprise us a lot and make some twists and turns that end up being much better than whatever we've come up with. i trust him more than i trust myself. and this is only the beginning.

[catxsnow]

AFTER HOURS chapter eight

Summary: Enemies to the public, friends to their close ones, friends with benefits between them. Rival companies and an attraction that can’t be ignored.

Tim Drake x reader

Warnings: swearing, mature content, smut, 18+ only, mention death of parents, car crash mentions.

A/N: a little earlier than my usual posting time but I didn’t get the chance to post last night so! 

Word count: 3.5k

"What?"

Fuck.

Fuck, she hadn't meant to say that out loud. (Y/N) didn't know what came over her to blurt the words out. Hell, she didn't even know if she meant them. It was only two weeks ago that she realized that maybe there was more to their relationship than fucking. Then again, her feelings were probably there for a long time and she just couldn't accept them.

It was easier to push people away than it was to be hurt by them. Pushing Tim away was so easy for so long. It was easy to say that any feeling she had for him was simply just lust. They're long chats were always supposed to be 'just business' but the more she thought make, the more she realized they weren't.

They were about family, hardships, dreams, aspirations. Their chats were filled with so much knowledge of one another that she forgot that everything she knew about him wasn't just common to everyone. Tim opened up to her more than he did to anyone else - including Bruce, or Kon, or even Steph.

"Fuck," She muttered. (Y/N) pulled herself off of Tim, ignoring the sticky layer that covered them both from just having sex. She pulled a shirt of hers over her head and aimlessly searched the floor for some pants. Tim was still in shock by what she had just said to him. She loved him?

The same kind of love that he had in his heart every time he thought of her? The same love that kept him up at night wondering, hoping, that one day it would be reciprocated? 

He finally snapped out of his daze and stopped her frantic movements. Tim gripped her biceps, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were glossy as she tried to hold herself together from this utterly embarrassing moment. How could she say something like that too him at a time like this?

Tim's jaw was tight as he thought. She couldn't guess what was going on inside that head of his. Judging her. Trying to figure out a way to let her down easy. Ways to escape and never see her again. Maybe he was wondering how she was stupid enough to fall in love with her fuck buddy.

Fear of losing him - not the same kind of fear that she felt only an hour ago. This loss would hurt far worse. Knowing that he was within arms reach and never being able to grasp him again. Fuck, that hurt more than any other loss she could bare with him. 

She was shocked when he harshly crashed his lips against hers. He was so rushed that their teeth and noses clanked together - something that never happened with them. They were always so perfectly in sync, knowing the movement of the other person before they even did it.

Tim pulled away as she never reciprocated the kiss. Truth was, she was far too surprised to even move. She expected harsh words and abandonment. Even after all his promises, she still found it hard to believe that he would keep them true. Not because she didn't trust him, but because she knew herself, and that people tended not to stick around.

He slid his hands up her arms until they cupped the base of her neck, thumbs against her jawline. For the second time that day, he wiped the tears that spilled down her cheeks. While before she was scared that he had left her, now she was petrified he would leave her for good.

"I love you, (Y/N) (L/N)," Tim confessed. His voice was barely above a whisper but it was clear as ever. Her bottom lip trembled at the sudden change of emotions whirling. She went from frightened to complete adoration. Tim loved her. She felt her heart swell with every feeling she had been bottling up.

She broke out into the biggest, happiest smile he had ever seen her give. Tim Drake wasn't the man that she thought she needed in her life, but he was the one that she was sure as hell lucky enough to have. He built her up without giving her false hope and was there for her when she couldn't achieve something herself.

Tim tilted her chin up. He brushed his lips against hers, testing to see if this was what she truly wanted. This wasn't a game or a joke, this was his heart on the line. As much as he trusted her, the sinking feeling of weariness and doubt always struck in the back of his mind. He couldn't get his heartbroken again, not by her.

She found herself reaching towards him as he pulled back. She didn't crave his lips, she need them. His kiss was soft at first, until the intensity of all their feelings finally exploded. She held onto him like he was the only thing keeping her from collapsing in the whirlwind they were caught in.

"I love you, Tim," She never wanted this kiss to end. Being in his arms, filled with the love she never thought she'd feel again, it was life changing. Tim pulled her back again, unable to stop. His need for her kiss was greater than anything, more powerful than the sun. He needed her like he needed air.

"Why now?" Tim blurted out. After all these years, why was now the time that she finally admitted that she had feelings for him? What had caused this shift? (Y/N) sighed as Tim dropped his arms. She ran a hand down her face and sat on the edge of her bed. Tim grabbed his pants from the floor and tossed over hers before joining.

"A month ago you told me that we've been doing this for years and that ruining it by letting emotions take place was unacceptable," Tim thought back to that night. She was so head strung about not attending his gala. "What could have possible changed over a single month?"

"Everything," she looked over at him. Truth was, she couldn't pin point the exact moment of change. She didn't know when she truly cared for him as more than a companion - but she knew when she realized it. The day of that stupid gala. The stupid gala that led to their picture being everywhere and hearing him say that she was nothing in his life.

Feeling that hurt made her realize how important he was to her.

"You're the only person that's always been here for me, Tim," she played with her fingers, trying to calm her nerves. It didn't work. "My parents, my company struggles, self-doubt. Every time I'm on the verge of giving up, it's you that's there to help me back up. You've supported me for so long and... and I was never able to give that to you.

"I'm sorry, for being so cut off for so long. I'm sorry that for the entire time that I've known you that I've been so held back by fear that I wasn't able to realize what you mean to me. You deserve better, you deserve the world. Everything changed when I saw the way you lit up because I went to your gala after four years. I didn't realize how much it meant to you.

"I'm sorry that-"

"Stop," Tim cut her off. He grabbed her hand to stop her from fidgeting. "Stop apologizing. I know why you were the way you were, and I'm not upset at it. I understand the struggle of not being taken seriously and I don't want you feeling guilty over something like this. I had my part to play as well - I could have told you long ago how I felt and I never had the guts to."

"How long?" she asked, suddenly curious. She might not have been able to remember the time she looked as him as more a fuck buddy - but he might have. Maybe his answer would have sparked her own memory.

"Two years ago," he chuckled to himself. His cheeks were tinted pink with embarrassment at just how long he had been keeping this to himself. "The night that you told me your favourite memory with your parents. Seeing your face light up with pure happiness and the way you spoke of them so highly. It reminded me of my own parents - and how much they would have liked you."

"We ordered Chinese food and stayed up till four in the morning talking about how easy life was when we were kids," she remembered that night. Tim nodded - it was the first time that she had stayed for hours. "I got scared by a bird hitting the window and dropped my entire plate of noodles on myself. You laughed so hard that you started snorting."

"It was the first time I got to see you wear my clothes," Tim smiled. He didn't realize how hot she could wear one of his shirts and a rolled up pair of basketball shorts. "After you left I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop seeing your smile or hearing your laugh. I realized in those endless hours of staring at my ceiling that I wanted to spend my life with you."

"Why didn't you say anything?" She asked.

"You never wanted anyone to know what we did - much less if there was anything more between us," Tim shrugged. To be honest, he still didn't. "I didn't want you to feel pressured and I certainly didn't want to risk losing you. The wait was worth it."

She smiled at how lucky she was to have Tim. He was so patient with her that she felt like she didn't deserve someone as good-hearted as him. Tim kissed the back of her hand, followed by her forehead, and lastly, her lips. The wait was well worth it. He'd wait a thousand lifetimes for her.

"What now?" He asked. What was going to happen between the both of them? A hidden relationship? A risk that Gotham would spread hate because the CEO's of rival companies loved each other? Things were complicated in their lives, and he wasn't sure what she was willing to put on the line.

"Now... Now I stop living my life in fear."

><

"We don't have to do this."

(Y/N) paced back and forth trying to calm her nerves. Tim sat on the edge of his bed watching her movements. She was nervous, but that was to be given. After years of working hard to make sure that she was going to be taken seriously, she was just going to tear it all down. Today was going to be the make or break of Gotham's faith in her.

It was a simple plan. Go to a coffee shop together, let the paparazzi's take their pictures, see what the media was going to say. It was the best way to dip their toes in the water to see what the people of Gotham would think of their 'new relationship'. There had already been speculations since the gala - this would just confirm some of them.

She was scared. Horrified. Not because the people would react badly, but if they reacted well to the news. For over four years she felt as if she needed to cut herself off from anything personal - these were the best years of her life and she had put all of her energy into her company because she felt like it was needed.

What if it wasn't? What if she had wasted all these years for some bullshit stigma the city made her believe? She didn't know if she could live with that guilt. Her parents wanted her to experience her best life, she would have let them down if she had deprived herself of love for years.

"Yes we do," She stopped her pacing to look at him. The cuts and bruises on his face had finally healed over, but the ones lacing his body still held him back. Tim still refused to tell her what really happened. "I've been lying to myself for too long about these feelings, I can't lie to the public anymore too."

Tim patted the spot beside him. She reluctantly sat, though her leg wouldn't stop bouncing. He grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips before setting them back down on his lap. (Y/N) had every right to be nervous. This wasn't just her own life on the line, it was her company's - and his.

Just as she was worried for her own company, Tim was nervous for his. Bruce entrusted him to keep it going, and he couldn't let him down. They needed that money to fund their activities, they needed Wayne Enterprise to keep at it's highest potential.

"Whatever happens, we're in this together, okay?" Tim assured her. "I'm not going to leave you. I promised you that already and I'm sticking with it. Vicki Vale can say all she wants, she doesn't know the truth unless we want her to know the truth. We've got a plan, right? Start off easy and go from there."

"You're right," she nodded. They were in control of this situation, no one else. With Tim by her side, she could accomplish anything. When she was with him, she always felt in control of her life. He had a way of making her feel confident in herself without even realizing it. "We can do this."

She looked over at him, the nervous smile still on her face. It melted away with his kiss. His kiss that always made everything better, that always felt so right. Being with him, actually being with him, she felt as if she was on the clouds. These past few days had felt so surreal that she couldn't tell when she was dreaming and when she was awake.

Nights together, mornings in each others arms. Cooking meals with each other and being able to relax at the end of a long day with shows that neither of them knew they both liked. Mundane tasks that made her feel like a normal adult, not one with the weight of a billion dollar company on her shoulders.

It was a life she didn't know she needed until getting a taste of it.

Tim Drake was her life, for a long time, she just didn't know it at the time. He was the one that was there for her no matter what. She just hoped that when the time came, she could be there for him as well. Tim was a strong man, he didn't emotional easily and she feared that when he did, it would be when he was truly broken.

><

"Everyone's staring."

"Let them."

To no surprise, as soon as one person saw them together, everyone crowded around. Whispers from tables beside them. Camera flashes from inside and outside the coffee shop. Stares and not so secret glances. People were shocked to see them together - and everyone knew damn well who they were.

From the moment he opened the door for her until now, they had all eyes glued to them. She felt the pressure to act like the people always wanted to see her as - prim, proper, and professional. It was Tim that kept assuring her to act like herself, to show the real her for once.

The barista wasn't sure what she was more shocked by - Tim buying himself and (Y/N) coffee or the one-hundred dollar tip he left. Either way, she served them with a smile on her face and a whisper of 'I knew it'. She didn't sound judgmental - she sounded supportive.

More people accumulated but no one dared to interrupt.

Tim reached across the table to grab her hand. He could feel the tapping of her foot and the nervous shake that she had. This was the most horrifying thing she had done in her life and it should have felt so easy. She was spending time with the one she loved, and it was still petrifying.

"Hey," Tim called. "We're in this together. No one else here matters. Whatever comes next, we're going to get through. I promise." She nodded her head at his words. He was right. There was no need to worry when she had him by her side. Her parents would be proud of her no matter what and she was still making Gotham a better place.

He suddenly drew a small heart into the back of her hand, silently telling her that he loved her. She smiled at the action.

The same barista from before came back with a hot pot of coffee in her hands. "Refill?" They both nodded at the same time. She poured them each another full mug, but hesitated before leaving. Tim looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to spill what she had to say. "I know this isn't my place - like at all - but, I always thought you guys would be good for each other."

Tim looked between both the women. "Thank you," he smiled. The barista matched it and headed back towards the counter she was stationed at. "See, there's nothing to be worried about." Tim squeezed her hand while sipping his coffee with the others. He shot her a wink over the lip of his mug.

There was that stupid flutter that filled her chest again. The one that only happened when she was with him and the one that she brushed off for years thinking that it was nothing but lust. God she felt so stupid for pushing him away for as long as she did.

Tim always filled her heart with emotions. Fear, anger, lust, love. It was always easy to clump it all into one emotion that she knew how to control. She knew that sex with him always seemed to fix her problems when in reality, it was just making everything worse. 

Her heart dropped at the sight of an unwanted, familiar face. 

"You spoke too soon," she muttered, watching as the person she dreaded most walked up to them. Vicki Vale had a snide smile on her face and a notepad in her hand. There was no hesitation in her eyes as she approached them, fully ready to impose on their date and turn it into an interview.

"Mr. Wayne," Vicki looked over to Tim, not even meeting (Y/N)'s eye. He slowly retracted his hand from hers - hoping that it wouldn't upset her. The movement went unnoticed by Vicki. "A pleasure as, always. I was hoping to ask you a few questions."

"Actually-"

"Actually, Ms. Vale," (Y/N) cut Tim off. Her voice instantly went from nervous to assertive. She sat up straight and narrowed her eyes as Vicki looked over to her. Tim bit into his bottom lip to stop the smile from spreading on his face for what was about to happen next. This was the moment that she dreaded most and she was taking it so well.

"Tim and I are in the midst of a date," she emphasized using his first thing - something that she had never done in the media before. It was always Mr. Drake - or Mr. Wayne. "If you have any questions about either of our companies, feel free to stop by during business hours."

"Personal questions.... actually," Vicki pursed her lips. Her hand was on her hip. If looks could kill, she'd be dead ten times over already. "And I was asking Mr. Wayne."

"That's a shame, Ms. Vale," Tim coughed, catching her attention. "You could have gotten the story of the year if you hadn't been so rude to my lovely date." He stood up suddenly, ushering her to do so as well. They walked past Vicki, her eyes latched onto them and their joined hands. "Have a nice day."

It was the fakest smile that she had ever seen him make. The two left the coffee shop without another word, waving to the barista as they passed. She held his hand with a death grip, worried that they might have been too rash against Vicki - she had lots of influence over the city, enough to make her worried.

"Holy shit, Tim," she breathed out as soon as she got a breath of fresh air. Her heart was racing from the confrontation. The strictness in Tim’s tone and the way that his hands bundled into fists from how rude Vicki Vale was being. "That was so hot."

"Glad you think so," Tim hid his grin. Her grip loosened as she became more relaxed. The distinct sound of camera's shuttering behind them could still be heard, but that was to no surprise. "What do you say, should we give them a real show?" He raised an eyebrow, referring to the paparazzi's behind them.

"Why not?" Tim stopped her, cupping her cheek with one hand and getting his hand firm against her waist. His lips were hesitant against her for the first time since they had met. He didn't want to give the cameras too much, but if they wanted to prove a point - that was the best way how. "I love you," her voice was so quiet he barely heard.

"I love you."

Taglist:  @unknowntoanyone @willieoo @kindashittywriter @subtleappreciation @yandereforyou @pricetagofficial @because-icanhide @magicisabluewish @hyp-oh-critical @littleredwing89 @boy-georgina @sparkleofpizza @craptainlou @timtimmersdrake @hauntingsonofrobin @anothertimdrakestan @idkmanicantenglish @vvipgot7be @psych0crybaby @theconfusedpansexualbitch @spiitfiires @calcatss

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 - 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.0k

warnings: swearing, fluff if you squint, deep talk with jean

listen to the music masterlist

prev | next

Hitch dropped you off at home with a loud "Au revoir!" and sped off in her black car while you waved silently.

You couldn't shake the nervous feeling Hitch had left you with. It was reasonable to feel uneasy after a strange encounter like that, but nevertheless, you plastered on a fake smile when you walked inside and saw Eren sprawled on the couch.

He lifted his head from his phone when he noticed your presence. "Y/n, you're back. What did Hitch want?"

Admittedly, you felt bad about never telling your best friend, but it was too late now.

"Nothing much, she just wanted to catch up. Haven't seen her since college," You lied easily as you plopped down in the chair next to the couch. "What's new with you?"

Eren shrugged and looked at his phone. "Just trying to pass the time. Jean's headed to the airport at eight tonight. Hope you're ready to see your girlfriend." He tilted his head back while laughing.

You smacked his forehead and he recoiled in pain. "Ah! What's your problem?" Eren rubbed his forehead with a hard glare aimed at you.

"I don't have a problem, you're just being freakish."

Eren gawked. "No, I'm not! You're the real freak, being you and whatever."

"Oh, good one." You snorted. "Hey, speaking of, where is Jean, anyways?" You furrowed your eyebrows as you glanced around the house.

"You tell me." Eren repeatedly clicked his tongue while turning his attention back on his phone.

"I'll go find him then," you decided. Eren just grunted in response, too immersed with the JAEGER BOMB fan pages he was scrolling through.

You got up from the comfy chair and starting looking around the house for Jean. After your talk with Hitch, you were feeling even more nervous about Mikasa coming home. You desperately needed to talk to someone, even if it wasn't about Hitch. You just needed a good distraction from tonight.

Jean was nowhere to be found on the first floor, so you trudged upstairs in hopes of finding him. You rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, passing Mikasa's dark room, stopping when you heard a quiet string of curses from the hallway bathroom.

"Jean?" You called out hesitantly. Lightly knocking on the bathroom door, you pressed your ear to the wood in hopes of figuring out what the issue was.

"Come in," came Jean's strained voice from the small room. You peeked your head in the doorframe and took note of his frustrated figure.

"What's going on?"

"Who decided it would be a good idea to grow my hair out?" He made furious hand motions at his head.

You let out a chuckle as he angrily tried to comb his hair back. "You did."

He rolled his eyes. "Right. I think I might have to go back in time and slap myself for that one."

Shrugging, you sat on the counter next to the agitated male and crossed your arms. "Just cut it then."

"It's not as simple as that," he sighed. "I like the way it looks long, Marco likes it too. And the fans, you know. Besides, I can't cut it in a fit of rage. I'll end up like you." He snorted after his snide comment.

"That was one time! Besides, that was high school. We all did stupid things back then." You grimaced at the memory.

"Yeah, you were the stupidest. You chopped off all your hair because of something that aggravated you." He pointed his comb at you in a teasing manner.

"A little thing called feelings were aggravating me. At least I can control myself more now." You pushed the comb back at him and poked his shoulder.

"Speaking of which, I'm surprised you didn't lose your shit when I told you guys Mikasa was coming home." He went back to working on his hair.

"Seriously? I made you all clean the whole house. I could barely get through her room yesterday. Wasn't that enough of a reaction?" Your head fell onto the mirror against your back while you laughed bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess it was. I don't know what I expected honestly. I assume you aren't over her?"

"Definitely not." You sighed. "Because it's been two years since I last had any contact with her, you'd honestly think I would've moved on by now."

Jean set his comb at the side of the counter and faced you. "Did you want to move on?"

You fidgeted and looked away from his hard gaze. "It would be best if I did. I had my chance and I never took it. There was always a part of me that knew she'd come back. I had always hoped that she would, I never got to tell her how I felt, but now that it's actually happening it feels almost unreal." You met Jean's eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched up.

"Are you going to confess when she's back?" he inquired.

Your thoughts circled back to Hitch. Her threats were powerful. She knew what she was doing. Maybe you could confess to Mikasa in secret and she would never know. However, she somehow knew about Mikasa's future arrival, so you should play it safe. Plus, you hadn't seen the Mikasa you knew in two years.

"No, I don't think I will. There's so much to know about her now. She could be a completely different person." You pulled your knees to your chest.

Jean put his hands on your shoulders which made you look back up at him. "Y/n, you've been putting this off far too long. She's proven to us that she's not always going to be here. If there's ever a time to tell her, it would be now."

You stared at each other for a few moments before you pursed your lips and looked away. Jean was right. The perfect chance was right in front of you but just out of your reach. There was always an unspoken obstacle when it came to your feelings for Mikasa. Whether it was another person or yourself blocking the way. "I just need some time to think."

Jean took his hands off your shoulders and shook his head. "You, my friend, are what people call hopeless." He picked up the comb again, about to run it through his hair once more, but sighed and placed it in a drawer. "Fuck it, ponytail it is." You found it funny how often he would end up tying his hair in a low ponytail. His hair was long, but it wasn't close to the length Eren's was. Whenever Jean did his hair like that little tufts would stick out at the top of his neck and loose strands would curl around his ears.

"How long are you growing it?" You asked as you let your legs dangle over the countertop.

"I'll grow it until it becomes seriously unmanageable. It's already getting unruly." Jean softly kicked open the door and gestured to the hallway. "After you."

You hopped off the counter and gladly took his offer, sliding your arm along the balcony railing before folding your arms over the wood and resting your head on them. The hallway was only lit up by the orange light from the sunset beyond the large living room windows above the glass doors.

Jean passed by you swiftly, making cool air hit your neck. He loudly trudged down the wooden stairs and you saw him walk into the living room from your view.

Armin was sitting cross legged in the cushy rocking chair and Eren was still taking up the space of the long couch. Their eyes were trained on an ocean documentary, Armin occasionally commenting on the sea life while Eren nodded at him.

Jean sat on the loveseat under the balcony, now hidden from your view. Armin noticed your content gaze and beckoned for you to join them.

You followed Jean's path to the living room and put your hands on the back of the couch he was sitting on.

"What do you guys want for dinner? It's nearly seven o'clock." You asked the seated boys.

"Can we just get Burger King or something again?" Eren tore his eyes away from the screen to look at you pleadingly.

"Eren, we had that yesterday. I don't want it two nights in a row. That's just gross." Armin frowned at his request.

Jean placed his hands behind his head and on top of your hands. "Eat whatever you like. I have to drive to the airport soon." He patted your hands and stood from the couch.

Once Jean left the room you continued your survey. "We could have spaghetti?" You offered.

"That sounds good. I'll help you." Armin started toward the kitchen with you before tugging on Eren's sleeve. "You come too. You've been sitting on that couch all day, you lazy bum."

Eren groaned like a child being asked to do the dishes. "Fine, if I have to."

The three of you started preparing the meal in the kitchen with Armin getting the noodles out and making the meatballs, you making the sauce, and Eren filling the pot with water then leaving the rest to you and Armin.

Eren sat on a kitchen stool and pulled his phone out. You and Armin both gave him an eye roll before continuing your cooking.

It was around seven-thirty when the food was done. There were a few mishaps along the way since Jean wasn't around to help and neither you or Armin were very skilled in culinary practices. But the final product looked edible and that's all that matters.

Eren and Armin got their servings and sat down on the kitchen island stools while you went to close the curtains in living room and the dining area. You then pulled out a stool next to Armin.

The three of you ate in silence for a while before you spoke up. "Jean should be back soon."

Eren perked his head up. "Really? He said he'd get her at eight. He left an hour ago but we all know he likes to be early so who knows," He said.

"I'd give it maybe twenty minutes. Why? You nervous?" Armin twirled the pasta around their fork.

"Incredibly," you exhaled.

Eren snorted. "As expected from you. But if you're nervous, imagine how Jean feels right now. That should perk you right up." he laughed to himself while imagining Jean waiting for Mikasa, a nervous wreck.

"Are you not nervous?" You asked timidly.

Armin shrugged. "I guess I am. We've known her forever. It'll be just like seeing an old college friend. It'll be refreshing to see her after all this time. I'm more worried about how ready the house is," they explained while folding their arms.

"I'm a little nervous. You think she'll like my hair?" Eren gestured to his bun.

"No, you're ugly." Armin commented. You laughed so hard at Eren's shocked face that you didn't hear the door unlocking behind you.

Armin stopped laughing with you and stared at the door. "Mikasa," He whispered.

"Mikasa?" You questioned and looked back at the door. "Mikasa."

Sure enough, Mikasa was at the door with Jean lurking behind her.

She was wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants with dark green sneakers. Her hair was cut much shorter now. It was slightly fluffed up and messy from the plane ride. She had a few rings decorating her fingers and a small tattoo on her middle finger on her right hand. In that hand, she carried a navy blue suitcase. In the other, gripped the same scarf Eren gave her years before. She held a tired expression but you thought she looked beautiful as ever.

Your eyes widened and you parted your lips to say something but nothing would come out.  Instead, you opted for a hug. You wrapped your arms around her waist, your head just peeking over her shoulder, earning a surprised noise from her. Her arms made their way around your frame as she held you close.

"Mikasa," you could only manage to squeak out her name.

posted: 8/27/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.