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itonje · 4 years ago

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people of color in arthurian legend masterpost

hi! some people said it would be cool if i did this, and this is something i find interesting so. yeah! are you interested in king arthur and the knights of the round table? do you like to read about characters of color, especially in older lit? well, i hope this can be a good resource for people to get into stuff like that, especially poc/ethnic minorities who might feel uncomfortable or lonely getting into older media like arthuriana. this post is friendly to both those who prefer medieval lit and those who prefer modern stuff!

disclaimers: i am not a medievalist nor a race theorist! very much not so. i am just a 17 year old asian creature on the internet who wants to have an easy-to-reference post, if i’m not comprehensive enough please inform me. i’m going to stay closely to the matter of britain, as well, not all medieval european literature as a. this is what i’m more familiar with and b. there’s so much content and information and context to go along with it that it would really be impossible to put it all into one tumblr post. (however there’s always going to be overlap!) also, please do not treat me or any other person of color/ethnic minority as a singular all-knowing authority on anything! we’re all trying to have fun here and being made into an information machine on things, especially what is and isn’t offensive isn’t fun. with that out of the way, let’s get into it! (under cut for length!)

part i: some historical context (tw for racism and antisemitism discussion)

fair warning, i’m going to start off with some discussions of more heavier history before we talk about more fun stuff. while pre colonial racism was far more different than how it is today, there still...was racism. and it’s important to understand the social mien around nonwhite people in europe at the time these works were written.

to understand how marginalized ethnicities were written in medieval european literature, you have to understand the fact that religion, specifically catholicism, was a very important part of medieval european life. already, catholicism has violent tenets (ie, conversion as an inherent part of the church, as well as many antisemitic theologies and beliefs), but this violence worsened when an event known as the crusades happened.

the crusades were a series of religious wars started by the catholic church to ‘reclaim’ the holy land from islamic rule and to aid the byzantine empire. while i won’t go into the full history of the crusades, (some basic info here and here and here) its important to understand that they had strengthened the european view of the ’pagan’ (ie: not european christian) world as an ‘other’, a threat to christiandom that needed to be conquered and converted, for the spiritual benefit of both the convertee and the converter. these ideas of ethnoreligious superiority and conversion would permeate into the literature of the time written by european christians.

even today, the crusades are very much associated with white supremacy and modern islamophobic sentiment, with words such as ‘deus vult’ as a dogwhistle, and worship of and willingness to emulate the violence the crusaders used against the inhabitants of the holy land in tradcath spaces, so this isn’t stuff that’s all dead and in the past. crusader propaganda and the ignorance on the violence of the catholic church and the crusaders on muslim and jewish populations (as well as nonwhite christians ofc) is very harmful. arthuriana itself has a lot of links to white supremacy too-thanks to @/to-many-towered-camelot for this informative post. none of this stuff exists in a bubble.

here’s a book on catholic antisemitism, here’s a book on orientalism, here’s a book about racism in history that touches on the crusades. (to any catholic, i highly reccommend you read the first.)

with that out of the way, we can talk about the various not european groups that typically show up in arthurian literature and some historical background irt to that. the terms ‘moor’ and ‘saracen’ will typically pop up. both terms are exonyms and are very, very broad, eventually used as both a general term for muslims and as a general term for african and (western + central) asian people. they’re very vague, but when you encounter them the typical understanding you’re supposed to take away is ‘(western asian/african) foreigner’ and typically muslim/not christian as well. t

generally, african and asian lands will typically be referred to as pagan or ‘eastern/foreign’ lands, with little regard for understanding the actual religions of that area. they will also typically refer to saracens as pagans although islam is not a pagan religion. this is just a bit of a disclaimer. the term saracen itself is considered to be rather offensive-thank you to @/lesbianlanval for sending me a paper on this subject.

while i typically refer to the content on this post as having to pertain to african and asian people (ie, not european) european jewish arthurian traditions are included on this post too. but, i know more about poc and they’ll feature more prominently in this post because of that, lol.

part ii: so, are there any medieval texts involving characters of color?

i’m glad you asked! of course there are! to be clear, european medieval authors were very much aware that people of color and african + asian nations existed, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. even the vita merlini mentions sri lanka and a set of islands that might (?) be the philippines!! for the sake of brevity though, on this list i’m not going to list every single one of these small and frequent references, so i’m just going to focus on texts that primarily (or notably) feature characters of color.

first of all, it’s important to know was the influence of cultures of color and marginalized ethnicities that helped shape arthurian legend. the cultural exchange between europe and the islamic world during the crusades, as well as the long history of arab presence in southern europe, led to the influence of arabic love poetry and concepts of love on european literature, helping to form what we consider the archetypal romance. there are also arthurian traditions in hebrew, and yiddish too, adding new cultural ideas and introducing new story elements to their literature-all of these are just as crucial to the matter of britain as any other traditions!

when it comes to nonwhite presence in the works themselves, many knights of color in arthurian legend tend to be characters that, after defeated by a knight of arthur’s court join the court themselves. though some are side characters, there are others with their own romances and stories devoted to them! many of them are portrayed as capable + good as, if not better than their counterparts. (this, however, usually only comes through conversion to christianity if the knight is not christian...yeah.) though groups of color as a general monolith created by european christians tended to be orientalized in literature (see: mystical and strange ~eastern~ lands), many individual knights were written to be seen by their medieval audience as positive heroes. i’m going to try to stick to mostly individual character portrayals such as these.

with that all said though, these characters can still be taken as offensive (i would consider most to be) in their writing, so take everything with a grain of salt here. i will also include links to as many english translations of texts as i can, as well as note which ones i think are beginner friendly to those on the fence about medieval literature!

he shows up in too many texts so let’s make this into two bullet notes and start with one of, if not the most ubiquitous knight of color of the round table (at least in medieval lit),-palamedes! palamedes/palomides is a ‘’saracen knight’’ who (typically) hails from babylon or palestine and shows up in a good amount of texts. his first appearance is in the prose tristan, and he plays a major role there as a knight who fights with tristan for the hand of iseult-while he uh. loses, him and tristan later become companions + friends with a rivalry, and palamedes later goes off to hunt the questing beast, a re-occurring trend in his story.

palamedes even got his own romance named after him (which was very popular!) and details the adventures of the fathers of the knights of the round table, pre arthur, as well as later parts of the story detailing the adventures of their sons. it was included in rustichello da pisa’s compilation of arthurian romances, which i unfortunately have not seen floating around online (or...anywhere), so i can’t attest to the quality of it or anything. he appears in le morte darthur as well, slaying the questing beast but only after his conversion to christianity (...yeah.) in the texts in which he appears, palamedes is considered to be one of the top knights of the round table, alongside tristan and lancelot, fully living up to chivalric and courtly ideals and then some. i love him dearly and i’ve read the prose tristan five times just for him. (also the prose tristan in general is good, please give it a try, especially if you’re a romance fan.)

speaking of le morte d’arthur, an egyptian knight named priamus shows up in the lucius v arthur episode on lucius’ side first, later joining arthur’s after some interactions with gawaine. palamedes has brothers here as well-safir and segwarides. safir was relatively popular, and shows up in many medieval texts, mostly alongside his older brother. i wouldn’t recommend reading le morte of all things for the characters of color though-if you really want to see what it’s all about, just skip to the parts they’re mentioned with ctrl + f, haha.

the romance of moriaen is a 12th century dutch romance from the lancelot compilation, named for its main character morien. morien, who is a black moor, is the son of sir aglovale, the brother of perceval. whilst gawaine and lancelot are searching for said perceval, they encounter morien, who is in turn searching for aglovale as he had abandoned morien’s mother way back when. i wholeheartedly recommend this text for people who might feel uncomfy with medieval lit. though the translation i’ve linked can be a bit tricky, the story is short, sweet, and easy to follow, and morien and his relationships (esp with gariet, gawaine’s brother) are all wonderful.

king artus (original hebrew text here) is a northern italian jewish arthurian text written in hebrew- it retells a bit of the typical conception of arthur story, as well as some parts from the death of arthur as well. i really can’t recommend this text enough-it’s quite short, with an easy-to-read english translation, going over episodes that are pretty familiar to any average reader while adding a lot of fun details and it’s VERY interesting to me from a cultural standpoint. i find the way how they adapt the holy grail (one of the most archetypal christian motifs ever) in particular pretty amazing. this is also a very beginner friendly text!

wolfram von eschenbach’s parzival (link to volume 1 and volume 2-this translation rhymes!) is a medieval high german romance from the early 13th century, based off de troyes’ le conte du graal while greatly expanding on the original story. it concerns parzival and his quest for the grail (with a rather unique take on it-he fails at first!), and also takes like one million detours to talk about gawaine as all arthurian lit does. the prominent character of color here is a noble mixed race knight called feirefiz, parzival’s half brother by his father, who after dueling with parzival, and figures out their familial connection, joins him on his grail quest. he eventually converts to christianity (..yeah.) to see the grail and all ends happily for him. however, this text is notable to me as it contains two named women of color-belacane, feirefiz’s black african mother, and secundilla, feirefiz’s indian wife. though unfortunately, both are pretty screwed over by the text and their respective husbands. though parzival is maybe my favorite medieval text i’ve read so far i don’t necessarily know if i’d recommend this one, because it is long, and can be confusing at times. however, i do think that when it comes to the portrayal of people of color, while quite poor by today’s standards, von eschenbach was trying his best?-of course, in reason for. a 13th century medival german christian but he treats them with respect and all these characters are actually characters. if you’re really interested in grail stories (and are aware of the more uncomfortably christian aspects of the grail story), and you like gawaine and perceval, i’d say go for it.

in the turk and sir gawain, an english poem from the early 16th century, gawaine and the titular turkish man play a game of tennis ball. i’m shitting you not. this text is pretty short, funnily absurd, and with most of the hallmarks of a typical quest (various challenges culminating in some castle being freed), so it’s an easier read. it’s unclear to me, but at the end of the story the turkish man turns into sir gromer, a noble knight, who may or may not be white which uh. consider my ‘....yeah’ typical at this point, but i don’t personally read it that way for my own sanity. also he throws the sultan (??) of the isle of man (????) into a cauldron for not being a christian so when it comes to respectful representation of poc this one doesn’t make it, but it does make this list.

the revenge of ragisel, or at least the version i’ve read (the eng translation of the dutch version from the lancelot compilation), die wrake van ragisel, starts off being about the mysterious murder of a knight, but eventually, as most stories do, becomes a varying series of adventures about gawaine and co. one of gawaine’s friends (see: a knight who he combated with for a hot sec and then became friends and allies with, as you do) is a black knight named maurus! he’s not really an mc, but he features prominently and he’s pretty entertaining, as all the characters in this are. i also recommend this highly, i was laughing the whole time reading it! it’s not too long and pretty wild, you’ll have a good romp. this is a good starter text for anyone in general!

i’ve not read the roman van walewein, which, as it says on the tin, is a 12th century dutch romance concerning some deeds of gawaine (if only gawaine was a canon poc, i wouldn’t need to make this list because he’s so popular...). i’m putting it on the list for in this, gawaine goes to the far eastern land of endi (india) and romances a princess named ysabele. i can’t speak to ysabele’s character or the respectfulness of her kingdom or representation, but i know she’s a major character and her story ends pretty well, so that’s encouraging. women of color, especially fleshed out woc, are pretty rare in arthurian lit. i’ve also heard the story itself is pretty wild, and includes a fox, which sounds pretty exciting to me!

now the next two things i’m going to mention aren’t really? texts that feature characters of color or jewish characters, but are rather more notable for being translations of existing texts into certain languages. wigalois is a german 13th century romances featuring the titular character (the son of, you guessed it, gawaine!) and his deeds. the second, jaufre, is the only arthurian romance written in occitan, and is a quite long work about the adventures of the knight jaufre, based on the knight griflet. what’s notable about these two works is that wigalois has a yiddish translation, and jaufre has a tagalog translation. wigalois’ yiddish translation in particular changed the original german text into something more fitting of the arthurian romance format as well as adding elements to make it more appealing for a jewish audience. the tagalog translation of jaufre on the other hand was not medieval, only coming about in 1900, but the philippines has had a long history of romantic tradition and verse writing, so i’m curious to see if it too adds or changes elements when it comes to the arthurian story, but i can’t find a lot on the tagalog version of jaufre unfortunately-i hope i can eventually!

this list of texts is also non-exhaustive! i’m just listing a couple of notoriety, and some to start with.

part iii: papers and academic analysis

so here’s just a dump of various papers i’ve read and collected on topics such as these-this is an inexhaustive and non-comprehensive list! if you have any papers you think are good and would like to be added here, shoot me an ask. i’ll try to include a link when i can, but if it’s unavailable to you just message me. * starred are the ones i really think people, especially white people, should at least try to read.

Swank, Kris. ‘Black in Camelot: Race and Ethnicity in Arthurian Legend’ *

Harrill, Claire. ‘Saracens and racial Otherness in Middle English * Romance’

Keita, Maghan. ‘Saracens and Black Knights’

Hoffman, Donald L. ‘Assimilating Saracens: The Aliens in Malory's ‘Morte Darthur’

Goodrich, Peter H. ‘Saracens and Islamic Alterity in Malory's ‘Le Morte Darthur’

Schultz, Annie. ‘Forbidden Love: The Arabic Influence on the Courtly Love Poetry of Medieval Europe’ *

Hardman, Philipa. ‘Dear Enemies: the Motif of the Converted Saracen and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’

Knowles, Annie. ‘Encounters of the Arabian Kind: Cultural Exchange and Identity the Tristans of Medieval France, England, and Spain’ *

Hermes, Nizar F. ‘King Arthur in the Lands of the Saracens’ *

Ayed, Wajih. ‘Somatic Figurations of the Saracen in Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte Darthur’

Herde, Christopher M. ‘A new fantasy of crusade: Sarras in the vulgate cycle.’ *

Rovang, Paul R. ‘Hebraizing Arthurian Romance: The Originality of ‘Melech Artus.’’

Rajabzdeh, Shokoofeh. ‘The Depoliticized Saracen and Muslim erasure’ *

Holbrook, Sue Ellen. ‘To the Well: Malory's Sir Palomides on Ideals of Chivalric Reputation, Male Friendship, Romantic Love, Religious Conversion—and Loyalty.’ *

Lumbley, Coral. ‘Geoffrey of Monmouth and Race’ *

Oehme, Annegret. ‘Adapting Arthur. The Transformations and Adaptations of Wirnt von Grafenberg’s Wigalois’ *

Hendrix, Erik. ‘An Unlikely Hero: The Romance of Moriaen and Racial Discursivity in the Middle Ages’ *

Darrup, Cathy C. ‘Gender, Skin Color, and the Power of Place in the Medieval Dutch Romance of Moriaen’ *

Armstrong, Dorsey. ‘Postcolonial Palomides: Malory's Saracen Knight and the Unmaking of Arthurian Community’ (note this is the only one i can’t access in its entirety)

part iv: supplemental material

here’s some other stuff i find useful to getting to know knights of color in arthurian legend, especially if papers/academic stuff/medieval literature is daunting! i’d really recommend you go through all of these if you can’t go through anything else-most are quick reads.

a magazine article on knights of color here, and this article about the yiddish translation of wigalois.

this video about characters of color in arthurian legend!

the performance of the translation of arabic in Libro del Caballero Zifar, and how it pertains to the matter of britain

a post by yours truly about women of color in parzival

this info sheet about palamedes, and this info sheet about ysabele-thanks to @/pendraegon and @/reynier for letting me use these!

this page on palamedes as well

this post with various resources on race and ethnicity in arthuriana-another thank you to @/reynier!

part v: how about modern day stories and adaptations?

there’s a lot of em out there! i’m not as familiar with modern stuff, but i will try to recommend medias i know where characters of color (including racebends!) are prominent. since i haven’t read/watched all (or truly most) of these, i can’t really speak on the quality of the representation though, so that’s your warning.

first of all, when it comes to the victorian arthurian revival, i know that william morris really liked palamedes! (don’t we all.) he features frequently in morris’ arthurian poetry, (in this beautiful book, he primarily features in ‘sir galahad, a christmas mystery’ and ‘king arthur’s tomb’. he has his own poem by morris here.)

and some other poems about palamedes, which i’d all recommend.

for movies, i know a knight in camelot (1998) stars whoopi goldberg as an original character, the green knight (2021) will star dev patel as gawaine.

some shows include camelot high, bbc merlin, disney’s once upon a time, and netflix’s cursed, all featuring both original characters of color and people of color cast as known arthurian figures.

for any music people, in ‘high noon over camelot’, an album by the mechanisms, mordred is played by ashes o’reilley, who in turn is performed by frank voss, and arthur is played by marius von raum who is perfomed by kofi young.

i’ve also heard the pendragon and the squire’s tales have palamedes as a relevant character if you’re looking for novels, as well as legendborn and the forgotten knight: a chinese warrior in king arthur’s court starring original protagonists of color!

part vi: going on from here

so, you’ve read some medieval lit, read some papers, watched some shows, and done all that. what now? well, there’s still so much out there!

if you have fanfiction, analysis, metaposts, fun content etc etc about arthurian poc, feel free to plug your content on this post! i’d be happy to boost it.

in general, if you’re a person of color or a jewish person and you’re into arthurian legend, feel free to promote your blog on this post as well! i would love to know more people active on arthurian tumblr who are nonwhite.

this is really just me asking for extra content, especially content made by poc, but that’s okay! arthurian legend is a living, breathing set of canons and i would love love love to see more fresh diversity within them right alongside the older stuff.

a very gracious thank you to the tumblr users whom i linked posts to on here, and thanks to y’all for saying you want to see this! i hope this post helped people learn some new things!

#finny.txt #arthuriana #arthurian legend #matter of britain #medieval romance #arthurian literature #arthurian mythology #<- :/#but necessary #also ITS DONE ITS DONE ITS FINALLY DONE #PLEASEREBLOG THIS WRHSFSHDFDHSFSDF #2K PLUS WORDS..

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irevanity · 3 years ago

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Hi! 15, 21, and 26 for the ask game 😊

AIGHT LETSS GOOO!! Also sorry for any weird wording problems lol I just woke up and its 8 am

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

Oh boy. This is bringing back some wild memories. I don’t know if this counts, but I was a diehard k-pop fan back in 2017-2019 (or something like that.)

I know it doesn’t sound bad, but consider this: I was a diehard kpop fan with wattpad. The amount of shit I saw there traumatized me. 💀💀 And lets not talk about my horrible attempts at writing smut. I stopped reading/writing those kinds of fanfics now, and I’m more of a casual listener to kpop. If someone brought up how I acted back in 2017-2019 I would literally jump off a cliff. THATS HOW BAD IT WAS LMAOO

I’m so glad I grew out of that…but I hope that answers your question!

21. Favorite pairing to write for? Platonic or romantic.

OKAY SO! I don’t exactly have a favorite, but if I were to choose it would be between lawlight/mikalight/mikavanni. There’s so many scenarios that would actually work for these three. And their dynamics(?) are pretty interesting, too. You have a serial killer x detective, god x worshipper (is that even the correct term LMAO) and another serial killer x detective (sorta) but one is stalking the other. 💀

For platonic, I love me some Mikami/Kiyomi! They’re bros in canon, despite Mikami literally murdering her lol.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

OH MY GOD! I’m so glad you asked that. Theres too many, but I’ll list the ones I love the most.

A Death Note Demigod AU. I read most of the Percy Jackson books, and those books are literally my life and my soul. If you don’t know Percy Jackson, it’s basically a story that revolves around the children of human x greek god couples and their quests. I would love to write a fanfic about this, BUT, the amount of research I’d have to do makes me cry. At this point, I’ll just plagiarize Rick Riordans work and replace all the names lmao.

A Death Note AU, of course, but this time they have powers! I wrote a fanfic on this and posted it on AO3 before. I think it was called, “Powers of the 4.” And the main characters were Team Kira. I never finished it, and looking back, it was so bad I deleted it LMAO. I really didnt check over my own work.

Anyways, I’m talking about powers like telekinesis, cryokinesis (ice powers), pyrokinesis (fire) and etc. I think it’s so fun to play around with concepts like this.

A Death Note AU, but this time in the Attack on Titan universe. It sounds so fun until you get into all the details of everything. It’s gonna be a “what realistic thing would Light Yagami say in this situation” and I’m pretty bad at sticking to character, so thats gonna be a challenge.

And no, I’m not talking about plopping in the DN characters with the AOT characters, I’m talking about the Attack on Titan story with the DN characters. I’m not gonna be stealing the already canon Titan powers and slapping them onto a random character from DN, I’ll make my own Titan powers. Which is gonna be a challenge LMAO! Out of all of the ideas listed, this one will probably never be started on. It intimidates me bruh 😭😭😭This one will just stay in my day dreams

#deathnote #ask game #deathnote fanfic #light yagami #teru mikami #misa amane #kiyomi takada #l lawliet #stephen gevanni

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azazelsconfessional · 3 years ago

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(Ya know, seeing that anon ask thing dealing with the game master's "guild leader" made me remember that I was wanting to make a Housamo OC that fit the guild leader role until the actual one was released. But I could never figure out how to make them since no info has been revealed about them. Hell, there might not even BE a guild leader for the GMs. I always invisioned them as someone like jevil from deltarune though for some reason. Just chaotic and insane, while also being locked up out of fear from the other GMs.

Anyways, it's good to see you mun! I hope you're doing alright! Honestly, I'm glad you've had this long rest. It's good to rest your bones every once in a while~. Unless you like cracking bones... I don't know where I was going with this lol. Either way, yeah, good to see ya again!)

((Good to see you all again too! o/ I do like cracking bones a little bit since I have like. Stiff joints and I'm always trying to pop them lol. . .but I rest all the time and that's still the case, so that's clearly not the problem lol I should really be more hydrated I suppose.

On the subject of a Game Masters guildmaster OC, I don't have a problem with it tbh--the problem there was more like. . .besides the lack of notice or discussion on the matter, it just had such a. . .idk. No offense to the person who sent the ask, but it felt forced? And kinda like they didn't know what they were talking about? Like I don't expect people to know every little detail of the game because I sure don't. But it felt like they may not have had been up to date with the story or aware of the lore in question so to speak??? Am I making sense without pointing out the issues I percieved?

Idk maybe I'm being unnecessarily critical of it because it aggrivated me a little bit because it felt like it was shoved at me like that without asking me if I was on board to begin with.

Rambling about lore and theories about a GM gm under the cut

Idkidk. I don't have a problem with the idea of such an OC ofc but I feel like you'd need to really think that kind of thing through, y'know? Like really be on top of the lore for it to work. Idk if they'd be chaotic--I can see them being like. Crazy and morally ambiguous? Because they've sent out Bertro, Curren, and the other kid(probably Alice but we don't know that for sure) to study like human advancement potential through means of War/Violence, Education, and uuh whatever the last one that "Isaac" is supposed to be studying through the Invaders, idr if we know off the top of my head. And that kinda suggests that they had part in their creation as Genius Record Collectors and all, and running the game kinda suggests they may have had something to do eith the experiments in Chiyoda that Arc was part of. . .someone chaotic probably wouldn't have records being kept of everything like they are. :|a Like, what's happening doesn't seem random enough to be run by a chaotic person to me. And a chaotic person would surely not lock away the exceptions for being too powerful/game-ruining, right? They'd let them run around and have op kaiju type battles or something lmao. But that's just my perspective. It'd be a hard OC to make/work with, I think, just because of how little we know like you said. At the same time we know so much that it's just as hard to like. Work something out with all the details we do have.

Tbh I noticed we don't have a Rep for Utopia yet and Curren and Bertro both have robots and they're like manufactured children so I kinda imagine they might be the rep for Utopia? At the same time, someone from the advanced future probably wouldn't want to study evolution/advancement from an angle of the past--how would that benefit the future which already has everything figured out, y'know? And we know that the Exception Solomon is the one that's making the Gates and all work(I think that was the end of Chapter 11. . .I may be remembering what I've read about 12. . .) which is why MC now has to unlock all the Exceptions to get to him--so surely he has something to do with all of this. And the Game came after the Gates did, so the Game is just being used for the convenience of the Reps, right???? And it's somrthing separate that's like. Conveniently in line with what they're trying to do which could also mean it's somrthing that's made/run by someone with a Pillar/who knows/knew what they were trying to accomplish and remembers what's already happened and all and i'm making myself dizzy trying to theorize like this lmao. . . .

But uh. Yeah. Idk. An OC like that would be difficult to make but like more power to people who do really go in and try and make that kind of thing, tbh lol

Anyway, it's good to see everyone, and hopefully i'll be back on top of things soon. I got distracted in the middle of coming to answer things again and ended up spending several hours reading Alice's character and date quests and i'm feeling scatterbrained again lol i keep inconveniencing myself. But i'm working my way back here. I have no sende of the passage of time so it's like. I have no clue how long i've been off but it's probably longer than it feels haha. . .but yeah. I'm doing okay. I'm surviving. I just have adhd up the ass lol. . . .

#answers #anon #ooc #((i have a few things done already so i'll post them and see if sleeping does me any good))#((i'm the kind of person who can't function unless it's like 3am except i'm tired at 3am so i just never function period))

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takaraphoenix · 3 years ago

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Buffy Season 10: Review

Not gonna lie, I am entirely biased here. As a Spuffy shipper, this season was basically... everything I could dream of and then some more. And that’s just the ship-stuff. The story itself? The development of the overarching plot? I’m just so in love with season 10, it ain’t even funny anymore.

But let’s do this chronologically.

Bringing back Anya as a ghost... hurt. A lot. And, okay, I’ll say her ending was not great. Really tired of women dying, especially women dying for Xander. Starting to think there might be an actual curse involved here. I wish she could have gotten to live and could have gotten her chance to make her own life.

XANDER. Okay. I can’t put into words how much I loved that. Last season, I got increasingly more uncomfortable with Xander’s writing because it was really just two steps away from making him an abusive partner. That he actually went to therapy and is actively working on his issues. The improvement. The growth. Love to see it.

Dracula was decidedly less offensive this season. That was... minorly improved.

Andrew attemting to resurrect Tara put genuine tears in my eyes though. That hurt. And it also... it made sense? He’s been so desperately trying to redeem himself. Still, this one was a gut-punch. Which is a compliment to the writing, it was a well-delivered gut-punch.

Surprising to literally no one, I am absolutely living for the Love Dares You plotline. Buffy taking a mind-journey into Spike’s inner thoughts? Seeing the bad, but also the good? And even as the demon was trying to control him, she managedd to bring him back. Damn. That. That’s the kind of thing I’d go seek out in fanfiction, but legitimately never expected to encounter in canon.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about Andrew’s coming out. I mean, on the one hand, yes we all knew he was gay, the show’s not been super subtle about that. On the other hand, as a gay person, I am very much not a fan of straight people going “I knew all along” and the amount of characters who did this with Andrew, to his face, was starting to get frustrating.

The... rift between Willow and Buffy felt very much “I told you so”, I mean... Buffy was right. In the end, she turned out to be right. And that was obvious from the get-go. I’m glad that they didn’t have a bigger blow-out about this, because that would have been frustrating with just how painfully obviously Buffy was right. The military is not your friend. A lesson they both should have learned many years ago, so it baffles me that Willow so blindly leaned into it. Yes, admittedly, the resources were useful and Willow did a lot of good with them, but she was relying a little too heavily on support from them, as could be seen by the way things came apart.

The thing with D’Hoffryn and how it played out was also... very much projected from the get go. And again, Buffy was right. She was the most vocal about not giving the council the powers and while much of what she said to her friends in the blow-out was low and unfair, I do think she had a point in that Giles and Willow, who advocated for giving the council the powers, ought to have read the freaking fine print in the council’s contracts. Still, not a fan of how much steam Buffy blew off by blaming others and putting all blame away from herself.

Dawn actually being... majorly useful is... new. Interesting. The fact that her being the key actually came into play? Damn. And her being a goddess in another dimension? I surprisingly really enjoyed her little side-quest. Her and Xander bringing buildings, plumbing, theater and therapy to the demon-dimenson was hilarious. And that, in the very end, Dawn got to keep her powers, even in our dimension? Very nice touch. I dig it.

Okay now that all of this is out of the way, let me talk about Spuffy.

I love them so much. I said I’d be biased here, okay? But... oof, this has been a ridiculously slow-burn. Comics came out in 2016, that makes it a fiteen years long slow-burn. Add five years because I only got around to reading them now.

They are so... soft. Just, them holding each other, leaning onto each other? Waking up with each other? But it’s not just all smooth. It’s awkward. They’re both afraid. They’re both flawed and have their own issues.

I can’t put into words how much I loved when Spike wanted to break up with Buffy. And she’s just like “no”. Puts a pin in it. Things hard about it. And actually uses her words. Admitting how hard this is, admitting her issues, even admitting that she’s relieved Spike is scared too because that makes two of them. And both of them being willing to work it out together. Fight for this relationship.

I also loved the return of Dylan, or rather the way she returned. When she first popped up at the bar, I thought this was going to be used for a misunderstanding and jealousy and such. Instead Spike’s being a total awkward bean who’s like “I have a girlfriend” right away? And Dylan invites him to the gallery opening. And Buffy teases him about having a friend. No jealousy. Heck, even Buffy pointing out that since they had gotten together, they have been working with three of her exes. No jealousy when she meets Dylan either. They even seemed to be getting along. I loved this. I love the idea of Spike just having friends.

I love the way Spike and Buffy’s relationship is developing. And - something I might love nearly as much as the Spuffy - they did my favorite angle fo the found family trope. The one where they all live together. Finally all the Scoobies share a house. Well, not all. Andrew’s still over in Oakland. But having Giles, Xander and Spike (in the same apartment. Amazing), Willow, Buffy and Dawn all live under the same roof makes me incredibly happy?

I’m just, overall, really loving season 10. The writing was amazing. There was so much happening - but not in a convoluted manner that makes it confusing or overwhelming, it was all woven in together so well. It just felt that I consumed three seasons, not just one.

I can’t wait to see what season 11 has in store.

#Buffy Season 10 #Buffy Review #Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Spuffy #because. it is prominent in this review

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zylaa · 4 years ago

Video

youtube

“Why the Soundtrack to Shrek is Actually Genius” is, itself, a genius video. I have listened to the Shrek and Shrek 2 soundtracks uncountable times since they came out (my family owns the first one on cassette), and yet I’d still never picked up on a ton of these connections.

I am here to add to that video with a very long addition to why “I Need a Hero” is one of the best musical showdowns out there.

So if you don’t want to watch the whole video, the tl;dw: any time pop music plays in the Shrek movies, it signifies conforming to external pressures and putting on a facade, while diegetic music (in-story music--Donkey’s singing, mostly) + the original soundtrack represents being true to who you are, breaking free of expectations, finding your happy ending, all the good stuff.

But the video doesn’t cover another key source of diegetic music: the villains.

The villains love to sing. In part, this is because it’s hilarious. “Welcome to Duloc” and Robin Hood’s song in Shrek: Original Flavor, the Fairy Godmother’s Song in Shrek 2: Ogre Boogaloo, are all hilarious parodies of Disney songs. But like the music described in the video, the villain music does more.

When the villains sing--or manufacture singing--in story, it means the villains are putting on a facade and, critically, that the villains are in control. “Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town”--an obvious lie. Robin Hood sings about his heroism while he instantly judges Shrek, our actual hero, and prepares to kill him. The Fairy Godmother sings about all the things Fiona should do (wear makeup!) and should want (a rich, hot prince!)--which is already blatantly terrible even before we learn she has no interest in Fiona’s well-being and just wants a bride for her son.

So how do our heroes react to these songs? “Welcome to Duloc” finishes its little animatronic play and snaps a photo of Shrek and Donkey’s stunned faces. They have no idea what to do (until Donkey’s “wow....let’s do that again!”). And they are still, in the story, in Farquaad’s power--they’re walking into his kingdom and about to get threatened into a quest.

Robin Hood and the Fairy Godmother, on the other hand, get a smackdown from Fiona. In the first case, Fiona literally beats everyone up--and the fight ends when the music ends, as she pursues the still-playing Friar Tuck and punches through his accordion for total victory. The Fairy Godmother’s magic minions aggressively preen Fiona until she shouts “STOP” enough to actually bring that song, too, to a screeching halt.

From this point on, the Fairy Godmother has no power over Fiona. She has to do all her work through Fiona’s Dad, Shrek, and Prince Charming. Stopping a song is serious magic.

(We’ve also got Hook playing the piano in the Poisoned Apple--where the king goes in disguise under the Fairy Godmother’s orders, and where the enchanted Shrek and Donkey go to drown their sorrows when Shrek thinks Fiona has left him. Same principle, even though Hook isn’t a key character: the villains are singing, lies are happening, and the villains have the upper hand.)

So even though I never consciously picked up on it, the message is well-ingrained by the middle of Shrek 2. For villains to be defeated, you must stop them singing.

This brings us, of course, to “I Need a Hero.”

As the video said, it’s musically structured so we’ve got the pop song music and the original score interwoven and battling it out. But we’ve got that added tension, that internal way we “get” a story’s structure even if we don’t know how to say why. We know Shrek must stop the song, or the fairy godmother wins. The existence of the soundtrack itself is part of the battleground.

Shrek breaks into the song on the very last note, which lets the filmmakers have it both ways--the epic song concludes in an appropriately epic fashion, instead of cutting off mid-phrase like they did for comedic effect earlier. But the tension carries on--was that enough? did Shrek get there in time?

Obviously he did. We know going into a Shrek movie that there’s gonna be a happy ending. We know going into most movies that there’s gonna be a happy ending. The joy is in seeing how they get there.

I’m glad to know, years later, new reasons for why the journey of the first two Shrek movies was so much dang fun.

#Shrek #Shrek 2 #musicals #soundtracks #movie music #this is my self-care amateur movie analysis

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thanksjro · 5 years ago

Text

More Than Meets the Eye #13- Swerve Doesn’t Have Any Friends

Okay, let’s go ahead and get this out of the way.

It’s a FUCKING SPORTS BRA AND RUNNING SHORTS ALEX.

And don’t think I don’t see that friggin’ cleavage alien back there. You ain’t slick.

I’m going to make it a law that all comic book artists learn how to draw clothes that don’t vacuum-seal themselves to women’s bodies. Milne gets six months for this infraction alone, and Roche gets a year for the initial bra crime he committed back in Last Stand. Learn how women’s underwear works, you ninnies.

Our issue opens up with Swerve stretching his radio personality muscles.

Oh, Guido Guidi, whisk me away to flights of fancy!

Our artist for this issue is none other than Guido Guidi, ascended from fanwork to deliver us from evil with his near-superhuman ability to emulate other artists’ styles and just make things look really pretty. He was responsible for the mythos pages in the 2012 Annual, AKA the best part. He also filled in on some of the art for Last Stand of the Wreckers, not that I really noticed because he’s just that good.

Swerve lets Blurr know that while it might have looked like the Lost Light had exploded, thus killing everyone onboard back in issue #1, that isn’t actually what happened. I’m glad someone filled in the Cybertronian populace on that.

I was never great at math, but those speech bubbles might be phoning it in a bit.

Swerve says that he’s having a great time on the quest, despite all the hiccups, and we get an explanation for why this long-range communications system hasn’t been seen prior to this point. It’s been broken for a while- most likely due to the quantum jump that started the series off with a bang- but Blaster managed to get it running again. Good job, Blaster. With this little setup for our framing device out of the way, we get into the meat of the story.

Swerve is being nosey about things that weren’t any of his business, happening in a closed off room, when Drift drags him down the hall and hid him away for safety. Swerve doesn’t much appreciate being manhandled, but there’s a method to the madness here.

Drift’s nose has vacated the premises once again, so we’re just going to have to deal with that. And how shapely does one have to be to be known as “the guy with the legs”? I mean, Drift is RIGHT THERE.

Drift uses his own powerful legs to kick down the door to Cyclonus and Tailgate’s room. It turns out that the horrific screaming wasn’t the sound of a murder or sexual relations taking place, but rather that of Cyclonus singing in Old Cybertronian.

My god, he’s completely enamored with this unrepentant murder machine.

We are just all up in Cyclonus’ grill for this panel. Nothing but lips. Was this specified in the script? Because it feels like it might have been specified in the script.

Old Cybertronian, or the Primal Vernacular as some might call it, was last seen in general when Rodimus channeled the will of the trapped Titan all across Tailgate’s chest. It was last seen spoken when we met Vos, the terrible murder gremlin who turns into a gun and uses his face to cause puncture trauma.

Comic books are wild, y’all.

Now that we’ve established that no one’s being killed, Drift goes back to what he was doing earlier, with Swerve deciding to tag along because he’s horrifically lonely. He invites Drift to come room up with him, because I guess if you’re going to sell off your comatose roommate’s bed out from under him, you might as well go for the guy who’s third in command, is probably one of the hottest guys on the ship, and slices people into chunky salsa if they try anything funny.

Drift politely declines, and awkwardly removes himself from the conversation when Swerve doesn’t take the hint, returning to his sword lesson with Rodimus.

Oh thank god, the obnoxiously pink room is back.

Ultra Magnus bursts into the room, appalled by the actions of his fellow crew members. Some of his concerns are well-placed. Others, well…

Is- is that another friggin’ retainer on those lower teeth? Why does this design choice keep showing up?

So Magnus has imprisoned roughly a third of the ship at this point, and Rodimus suggests he take a chill pill. Magnus doesn’t even know what a chill pill even is, so we’re forced to make use of our most dangerous weapon- the threat of a good time, courtesy of Swerve.

The fact that Ultra Magnus hasn’t reduced Swerve to an oil stain on the floor is genuinely astounding. The guy has zero respect for bureaucracy or proper business management. It has been MONTHS, you dinky little man, get your act together as a business owner.

Swerve takes the bribe, and soon everyone’s shipping off to Hedonia, where the drinks are plentiful and the women… well, most of the Lost Lighters don’t even know what a woman is, so that aspect doesn’t really come into play. Thanks, Furman.

Also, Rung’s back to normal. Don’t worry about it, not a big deal.

Swerve isn’t having much luck on his Roommate Quest, as Tailgate spurns his advances, stating that he’s good kicking it with Cyclonus, mainly because they’re both old as shit.

I see we haven’t quite hit the threshold on the “Cyclonus is allowed to have friends now” meter. Give it a few more issues, I’m sure we’ll get there.

Man, zero for two for Swerve on trying to get a hot roommate. Maybe third time’s a charm?

Rodimus pops into the back of the shuttle to remind everyone that their entire race is more or less despised by the entire galaxy, and to play it safe by using their holomatter avatars.

The revamp by Brainstorm and Rung is truly a blessing, because the avatars in IDW were awful to look at up to this point.

Y’all, that is HOT ROD. Jesus wept.

Getting back to Tailgate’s questionable taste in companionship, Tailgate asks if Swerve and Blurr connected right away. Swerve gives him an affirmative, then starts listing off the guy’s racing stats until Ultra Magnus plops down between the two of them, drawn in by the melodious sound of statistics.

Magnus is having a hard time relaxing, but he’s giving it his best, and I think that’s very commendable of him. It’s hard trying new things.

On the surface of Hedonia, it would appear the B-Movies are having a Pride event in the entertainment district.

Okay, moment of truth- show us those avatars!

Oh thank god, they aren’t totally hideous. Though, isn’t Rewind old as shit? I guess youth is a state of mind. Still, I can’t believe we missed out on silver fox Rewind.

Rung’s line is in response to folks at the time claiming that Rung was a self-insert character, which is interesting, because we’ve already seen what a self-insert looks like when it’s Roberts doing the inserting, and we’ve also seen his Mary Sues.

Rung, while an original character who had appeared in Roberts’ pre-professional works (a single line of text in Eugenesis, where he was a psychiatry play-on-words), he isn’t what I’d consider a Mary Sue. Mary Sues are usually stunningly beautiful, beloved by their peers, insanely talented in ways that no other character is, and typically have some sort of connection to another character that more or less forces them into the story despite not needing to exist.

Mary Sues don’t get their friggin’ heads exploded, or exist in a constantly-forgettable state. Sure, he’s the only therapist we’ve ever seen in the Transformers franchise, but there was kind of a massive need for that sort of character to be created, seeing as all of these sons of guns have PTSD and clinical depression. And, as we’ve seen in previous issues and will continue to see later on, he’s really not even that great at it.

That isn’t to say that he doesn’t have certain traits befitting such a characterization, merely that they don’t add up to equal that sort of whole by issue #13. Transformers (2009)-era Drift is way closer to a true Mary Sue than Rung is.

Anyway, where the hell did Tailgate get to?

They really just let Frodo Baggins in this bar all babybjörned up, huh? Does Tailgate even know what a baby even is at this point? Does he just think he’s a very small person? How much human media has he consumed? We haven’t gotten into the reproductive process for the continuity yet, but fresh Cybertronians aren’t exactly a one-to-one to human infants. Damn it, Roberts, what the fuck am I supposed to make of Babygate?

Whirl’s off in the corner, disguised as a 12-year old girl who’s fucking STRAPPED. Magnus has disappeared, but Rewind locates him pretty easily as Rung makes a comment about Magnus needing to make an appointment with him.

Oh hey, Verity. Been a minute. Careful, ol’ six-eyes over there is leering at you.

The fellas come back to the bar as they truly are, and sit down for a round of drinks. Whirl gets Ultra Magnus a drink that sounds disturbingly like a Cybertronian equivalent to Milk Coke, and we get a little anatomy lesson. Transformers have something called a Fuel Intake Moderation chip, something that keeps them from getting drunk on pretty much the only thing they can consume. Swerve suggests Magnus turn his off so he can have a good time- which I don’t personally agree with, but this is Captain Stick-in-the-Mud we’re talking about here. Magnus gives it a shot.

And that’s a series wrap on Ultra Magnus!

No, the man’s just got no tolerance and has been knocked the hell out by his drink. Things begin devolving. Tailgate is crying. Skids has found out that Whirl didn’t give Magnus Milk Coke at all, but instead the equivalent of liquid cocaine. Swerve is convinced he’s going to prison. Rewind is filming the whole thing.

Nobody actually checks to see if Magnus is actually dead, until Rung gets around to it. Swerve, you’re a doctor by original trade, what the hell are you doing?

The boys sit Magnus at the table to wait out his nap. Hours later, nothing’s changed, except that they’ve started up the nemesis game, and Whirl’s decided he’s going to be rude about monoformers being monoformers. Rung gives a non-answer, because that’s just who he is as a person. Skids names Misfire as his worst enemy, only because he’s still missing a good chunk of memory and can’t remember if he had a worst enemy, but still wants to contribute to the conversation.

Rung, don’t be a dick, he did his best. You were right on top of Fort Max, it was a tricky shot.

Ultra Magnus finally starts waking up, and that’s the point where everyone decides to foot Swerve with the bill for the emotional labor he’s going to have to perform by explaining just what the friggity-frack happened.

Magnus starts laughing, then crying, then offloads his troubles onto Swerve. Magnus feels like he just doesn’t fit in on the Lost Light. He’s just trying to do his job and everyone makes fun of him, or disrespects his authority. He’s trying, he really is, but he’s just not built for post-war life. He’s actually tried to leave his position on the Lost Light, but they just keep pulling him back in.

Probably doesn’t help that Rodimus seems more interested in Drift’s opinion on matters than his own SIC half the time.

Oh no, he’s making digs at the things Swerve’s sensitive about. Where is Rung?

Magnus just wants to be understood, y’know? He’s a fully realized creation. He’s got interests. Like music! And the fact that Swerve is missing his Autobot badge!

This was the point where MTMTE was still bouncing back and forth on whether it wanted to commit to the crotch badge. It was a tumultuous time for everyone, very dark days.

WHERE THE FUCK IS RUNG

Magnus, having had enough of sharing his feelings, takes another sip of his cocaine and slips back into unconsciousness. Swerve admits to his limp body that people don’t actually like him, but rather only stick around because of what he can offer- namely, a good time.

The rest of the Swerve posse comes back, with Cyclones having joined the party. Rung shows off his new model ship, which gets Rewind started on his movie collection. He pulls up the opening ceremony for the Ark 1. Y’know, the Ark 1, that ship that Cyclonus was on that disappeared into the Dead Universe for six million years. The Ark 1 that Tailgate was supposed to be on.

Before we can get started however, someone throws the model at Rewind’s head.

That someone is none other than Cyclonus, who proceeds to fly into a rage, throwing tables and shoving the still-unconscious Ultra Magnus to the floor. My word, what a reaction! What could possibly be setting him off so much? Does he not like being reminded of his fated trip to the stars? Is this a manifestation of trauma from that event?

Who knows? No time for questions, Skids is too busy punching him in the face.

Tailgate intervenes, explaining that because Cyclonus and himself are so goddamn old, the engex Cyclonus consumed is wreaking havoc on his body. He tells the rest of them to go on while he tries to calm Cyclonus down. Interesting that Rewind doesn’t have any sort of input on this, given that he is also super fucking old, but there’s no time for questions! We’ve got to get Ultra Magnus back on the shuttle in the next 20 minutes, or else they’ll be stuck on Hedonia FOREVER.

They start throwing Magnus on the floor repeatedly, trying to get his t-cog to spin up. No dice, however.

It’s 4AM. Do you know where your Domey is? Because Rewind sure as hell doesn’t.

Okay, time for Plan B.

I’m guessing not, Rung. I’m guessing not.

Using Magnus as a trampoline does the trick, and the boys are rewarded with the sight of Magnus’ alt-mode… resting on its roof, upside down. They get him sorted, pile in the cab- Rewind is driving, which leads me to believe he at least has some experience handling a vehicle. Chromedome does turn into a car…

I don’t even know what that sort of activity implies for a Transformer. We won’t go any further down this line of thought.

The boys manage to get Ultra Magnus to the shuttle in time, and all’s well that ends well!

This is about the time that Blaster knocks on the glass at Swerve to wrap things up, seeing as he’s been at this for over nine hours now. There’s one last little aside before we’re done with our story, however, and it involves just what happened in the bar after everyone else left.

Cyclonus calmed down almost immediately after the rest of the guys left, paying for what he broke and inviting Tailgate to have a seat.

Well, I say invite, but it’s really more of an order.

If you’d already figured out at this point that this jumpy little marshmallow was lying about being the biggest badass who ever lived, a gold star for you! It turns out, dear Tailgate has been crafting a fabrication, spinning a yarn, telling a tall tale since Day One on the Lost Light. The story has been feeding us a steady diet of fish the whole time!

Red herring!

Red herring of Tailgate’s own design! Autopedia’s mods are a friggin’ joke.

Tailgate was supposed to be a the Ark 1 launch, but it was because he was on the cleanup crew. Boy’s a sluicer, and his arm SHOULD say "waste disposal”. Through a cunning use of his wits and cold reading, Tailgate faked his way through the dismantling of the bomb on Temptoria. A smart boy, he is, if not a bit self-centered.

Which brings us to why exactly Cyclonus freaked out in the bar: he wasn’t having an episode, but rather faking a reaction to prevent Tailgate’s lie from being exposed. He still thinks that Tailgate should come clean about this whole thing, before things get really messy, but it wouldn’t be an issue of MTMTE without some raw-ass emotions getting thrown about.

Cyclonus, who hasn’t allowed himself to feel anything other than simmering rage or national pride for over six million years, is beginning to feel something for Tailgate.

That feeling is sympathy, and maybe a little pity.

He offers to teach Tailgate a song to help him feel better, because that’s what he does when he has feelings.

And given that Cyclonus seems to sing often enough that Tailgate’s gotten used to the horrific sound, it might be that Cyclonus has feelings a hell of a lot more often than he lets on.

Roberts, how many times are you going to make Tailgate cry? How much pain are you going to subject him to before you’re satisfied?

The scene closes out on the two of them getting their karaoke on in the empty bar, in the god-awful language that is Old Cybertronian. I can only imagine that they get kicked out of the bar pretty quickly after this.

Getting back to the present, Swerve has finally, finally finished his story, closing out with an invitation for Blurr to come visit Swerve’s.

Blaster gets ready to shoot one hell of a voice message at Blurr, but there’s a problem; the number Swerve has isn’t long enough to be a personal hailing frequency.

Yeah, turns out that Tailgate isn’t the only liar on board the Lost Light.

Four million years ago, Swerve met Blurr at a publicity event, got way too friendly with a celebrity, pestered the guy until he gave him a fake number, and has convinced himself that he made a life-long friend to this very day.

Big oof.

Later, back at Swerve’s, Swerve is busy cleaning the glassware when Ultra Magnus comes in, sober and having just gotten out of surgery to fix his fuel tanks. Guess that second sip of Nucleon really wasn’t a good idea.

Swerve tries to tell a lie about what happened the night before, only to have the dawning horror that Magnus remembered the entire night, as he’s presented with a new badge. Swerve, bolstered by the fact that, while Magnus didn’t enjoy the previous evening, he appreciated having company, begins to ask Magnus if he’d want to room with him.

Wow, zero for three! That’s rough, buddy.

Kind of a bummer end to this whole issue, but it was still decently light, tone-wise, for MTMTE. A great deal of fun was had, in between all the mortifying reveals of our characters inner demons.

...Well, shit.

#transformers #jro #mtmte #issue 13 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #overthinking about robots #incoming analysis #comic script writing

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santaclausdeadindian · 4 years ago

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Sorry for doing it this way, I think OP deleted their post or blocked me like a mature, balanced person would, so I have to tag you in

@mr-laugh

Oh boy, lot to unpack here.

So you didn’t even know there were that many subgenres of fantasy, one of the most popular classifications of fiction on the planet... And you think you know enough to tell ANYBODY what classic fantasy is?

And where exactly I attempted to do that, huh?

If you don’t even know the most common subgenres of this vast pool of fiction, why are you jumping into this discussion? You just admitted you don’t know anything!

There is no discussion, there is a stupid ass post. Don't flatter yourself, you don't know jack shit.

Me not knowing what exactly are the precize subgenres of a genre of literature, which, btw, are completely arbitrary and for your information, sword&magic is a legitimate category, has absolutely nothing to do with what that post you were so keen on agreeing with above. It was you who said pretty much any classic fantasy is like that: some poorly written, self-indulgent and borderline racist.

Did ya read the link, buddy? Howard talked about knowing what burning black man smelled like. He was quite approving of these things! And the books are pretty racist, it’s not hard to see, unless you ain’t looking.

Yes, I started reading and by the end of the first paragraph I was convinced he was ahorribly racist man. And? Still doesn't change the fact, that for my 12 year old self, there was nothing racist about it. I definetly wasn't looking for it, that much you got right. If I'd read it again, I'm sure I'd catch on to it now, that I know what kind of asshole he was. So the implied racism would be there. You got a point for that.

Rugged individualism? It always amuses me how that argument always pops out of the mouths of guys who are aping what they’ve heard their buddies say. If ten thousand mouths shout “rugged individualism”, how individualistic are they?

Then you should amuse yourself by looking up why this thing crops up as of late. It's coming from certain, supremely racist yet unaware of it publications that claim ridiculous shit like "rugged individualism" is a hallmark of white supremacy, among other, equally laughable things, like punctuality. It's a joke.

Again, I will give Howard to you, if someone that racist writes a black man saving the hero of the story, I bet there was something else still there to make it wrong.

Conan’s not some avatar of rugged individualism.

Uhm, yeah, he pretty much all that.

He’s as unreal and unrealistic as the dragons are,

It's called fantasy for a reason, buddy.

but more dangerous because White Men model their ideas of reality on Big Man Heroes like him;

Glad you are totally not racist, yo!!! It's such a relief that White Men are the only ones with this terrible behavior of looking up to larger than life, mythic superpeople and nobody else. Imagine what it would be like, if we would have some asshole from say, hindu indian literature massacering demons called Rakshassas, by the tens of thousands, or some bullshit japanese warlord would snatch out arrows from the air, or a chienese bodyguard would mow down hundreds of barbaric huns without dropping a sweat, or some middle eastern hero would fight literal gods and their magical beasts in some quest for eternal life.

it's a poison that weakens us, distracting us from actually trying to solve the world’s issues, or banding together to deal with shit.

This is what you just said. It's up to the white man, to get their shit together, be not racist and solve the world's problems, because those poor other people's just can't do it. If we would just not be oh, so racist, then China would surely stop with the genocides they are doing now, or blowing more than half the greenhouse emissions into the athmosphere, the muslims would stop throwing their gays from rooftops or ramming trucks into crowds and would just start treating women as equals, India's massive rape problem would be gone, subsaharan African would be magically bereft of the host of atrocities committed there on a daily, yeah, you sure have that nonracism down, buddy!

A rugged individualist would be smart enough to realize that even the most individualistic person needs others; no man’s an island, and a loner is easier to kill.

Individualism doesn't mean at all what you think it means, it's a cluster of widely differeing philosophies that puts the individual ahead of the group or state, it's ranging from anarchism to liberalism and is also has nothing to do with my point.

Central Europe? What, Germany? Because let me tell you, historically they are SUPER concerned about race!

Germany traditionally considered western european, central europe would be the people stuck between them and the russians, to put it very loosely. We are equally nonplussed by the self-flagellating white guilt complex and the woe me victim complex of the west. We did none of the shit those meanie white people did to the nonwhites and suffered everyting any poc ever did and then some. We don't give a shit about your color, we care about what culture you are from and if you respect our values.

I’m an American from a former Confederate state; trust me, race is everything. It always is.

No it really isn't. How old are you? Asking without condescension, genuinly curious, because if you are in your low twenties at most, it's understandable why you think like this.

See that hike? Do you know what happened at that time that made virtually all american media suddenly go all in with racism?

Occupy Wall Street, that's what. It's a brilliant way to sow victimhood and hate and desperation amongst the people who have one common enemy, the powers that be, the banking sector, the politicians, the megacorporations.

Can't really blame you if you are in your early 20's at most, you grew up with this bullshit hammered into you. If you are older, step out of your echochamber please!

If you actually believe, that mankind doesn't progress naturally towards a more accepting society purely on the merit of there being more good people than bad and sharing a similar living with all the hardships in life, seeing that our prejudices inherited by our parents are baseless, that's how we progress, not virtue signalling courses and regressive policies. I was raised as any other kid, I had a deep resentment towards the neighbouring nations, I said vile, racist shit against people who I actually share a lot of genes with, of which fact I was in deep denial about, and then as I gradually got exposed more and more actual people of these groups, I started to realize I was wrong and everybody should be judged by their individual merits. It works throughout the generations, my grandma was thought songs about Hitler and how all jews are evil in school, she legit thought all black people at least in Africa are cannibals and shit, my mother stillsays shit that would get her cancelled in the USA, and I will probably have a mixed race kid as we stand now.

This whole racism is an eternal problem is laughable and disingenuous and I am actually sorry for you that you feel like that.

Moving on. As for Dany, the “noble white girl sold to scary dark foreign man” is a very popular trope, especially in exploitation films, which Martin draws on much more heavily than most authors do.

No, he fucking doesn't. I already wrote a bunch of examples from the books you seeminly ignore willfully. First of all, she is sold to those olive skinned savages by a white man, who is a terrible, increadibly evil man. He want's to fuck the then 11-12 ish Dany so bad, she picks his slave most resembling her and rapes her repeatedly, "until the madness pass." He also maimes children and traines them as disposable slave spies by the hundreds. There is no boundaries colour here, GRRM prtrays all kinds of people as reprehensible, evil and disgusting. Just like you can find plenty of examples to the opposite.

What is he drawing from your exploitation movies exactly? He writes about the human anture, he writes about the human heart at war with itself, that's his central philosophy of writing.

ASOFAI is basically just a porn movie with complicated feudal politics obscuring it, which is probably why it worked so well as an HBO series (up until the last two seasons or so.)

There is no gratuitous sex scene in the books, the rapes are described as rapes, they are horrible, they are very shortly described and usually just alluded to.

The people commiting them are not put into generous lights and one of the single most harrowing stories hidden behind the grand happenings of the plot is a girl named Jeyne Poole, whose suffering although never shown, is very much pointed out, along with the hypocrisy of the people who only fight to try and save her, because they think her a different person.

Honestly, if you actually read the books and they came of to you as porn, you might want to do some soulsearching.Btw, the HBO series was a terrible adaptation, it immedietly started to go further and further from the books with every passing season and the showmakers made it very clear to everybody, that they didn't understand the very much pacifist and humanist themes of Martin. And neither did you.

We also get no indication Essos will eat it when Winter comes; hell, they seem to not know Winter exists, given the way people act, even though that is also unrealistic and weird. Essos was just super badly designed, and Dany is a terribly boring character.

to be continued

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zabbaninja · 4 years ago

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Updated Ranking- 2020 Anime Year In Review

Punch Line- Completely unexpected, possibly the greatest anime of all time. The animation is good and the music is great, but the characters and story is what made me really love this show. It’s also very misleading holy crap they work hard to cover up the real meat of the show.

HaNaYaMaTa- A gorgeous anime with a bunch of great music and dancing.

Promare- 2d CGI hybrid with an amazing soundtrack and inspiring characters. (Still not as good as Kill la Kill though.)

The Helpful Fox Senko-San- Really really cute, probably the most feel-good anime ever made.

Laid Back-Camp- Absolutely incredible.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba- Way exceeded my expectations.

No Game No Life Zero- No comment, it’s better if you go in with nothing.

Spirited Away- What did you expect?

Parasyte- Outstanding visuals and the best transformation of a character I have ever seen in any anime.

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K- The best comedy anime I saw this year, the animation is a little stiff, but the characters make up for it.

Komi Can’t Communicate (Manga)- A very good read that I don’t think would work well as an anime imo.

No Game No Life- The greatest fictional world I have ever seen in anything ever. I couldn't imagine half the things the anime does.

Squid-Girl- Made me like squids.

Lupin III: The First- SEE! CGI IS COOL!

Hi Score Girl (Season 2)- Season one was pretty good, but a little underwhelming. Season 2 on the other hand is completely insane and is one of the best anime you can watch on Netflix right now holy crap.

BNA- Trigger has done it again, though some aspects hold it down for me.

Gargantia on the verdurous planet- Amazing Sci-Fi anime, Ledo is hot.

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid- Really recommend this one.

Blue Exorcist (Kyoto Saga)- What a grand return!

Kohana Kitan- A beautiful anime with a whole lot of charm.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind- This… Is Requiem.

Dragon Quest: Your Story- Best video game movie, fight me.

Star vs. The Forces of Evil- Really good, had a lot of unexpected moments.

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Reawakened- Not as good as original, though still pretty solid.

Steven Universe- Really good.

Steven Universe The Movie- Also really good.

HERO- What an outstanding film. The closest we will get to anime fighting in live-action.

House of Flying Daggers- Why isn't it house of “The” flying daggers? What the heck?

The Last Samurai- I didn't know that it was Tom Cruise until the very end.

In This Corner of the World- Really really incredible movie, highly recommended, will probably make you cry and feel sad though, so watch at your one risk.

Eromanga Sensei- Really really fun anime.

Gourmet Girl Graffiti- If you like food and cute girls, this is the anime for you. (Update after watching again, this was way better than I remember. I would probably put it much higher now)

Nichijou: My Ordinary Life- This anime is a sight to behold.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 3.5: Battle in Egypt- There was only one reason you lost.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable- My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old.

Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress: The Battle of Unato- Way better than I was expecting, really solid.

Sword Art Online Alicization: War of Underworld- Some of the best animation you can watch right now, with some stupid garbage mixed in.

Lupin The 3rd, Part 5- Pretty good, though not outstanding.

Avatar: The Last Airbender- I’m sorry, It’s just not really for me.

Anima Yell!- Very cute, though some other anime do this style a lot better.

Sword Art Online Alicization- This is literally the textbook example of Awful Taste but Great Execution.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie- It’s good, but it doesn't really feel that unique or memorable compared to other slice of life anime. (That opening though… Now that is incredible.)

Monthly Girls’ Nozaki Kun- WHERE IS THE PLOT? WHY DOES IT END THE SAME WAY IT BEGAN? NOTHING HAPPENED!!

Sonic the Hedgehog- “Gotta go fast.”

Nezha- Really good, I liked the story a lot.

LEGO Ninjago- The spiritual successor to the original series, while nowhere near as good, is something I can say is 90% better than everything else on Cartoon Network right now.

Pop Team Epic- Was not really for me.

Scissor Seven (Season 2)- I liked this a lot, I cannot wait to see what happens in season 3.

Infinity Train- Good, though not as outstanding as something like Gravity Falls (Which this show is compared to a lot).

Modest Heroes- First part is okay, Second part is alright, Third part is a must watch.

NinoKuni- The most predictable movie I have ever watched.

Oblivion- The song was really good.

Scissor Seven (Season 1)- A mixed bag, full of boring episodes and some that truly amazed me.

Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja- Good for what it is.

WATATEN!: an Angel Flew Down to Me- Ehh… Really pretty animation- too bad nothing happens.

BAKI- WHY WOULD YOU JUST SWITCH TO CGI IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT SCENE?

Fireworks- Most boring anime I watched this year, a complete waste of time.

Devilman Crybaby- The worst anime I have ever seen in my life, pissed me off and made me never want to watch anime again. I am glad other people like it though, I wish I could too… But I just can’t.

#anime

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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astrophile. (me2)

notice: i ended up taking saudade down for a little...say creative redirection. it’ll come back up as soon as i find something i’m actually happy to post, until then, take this.

i was also tagged for wip monday, and since i sort of churned this out in about four-ish hours between episodes of mythic quest, i totally think it counts. @that-wasnt-so-bad + @rpgwarrior4824

cw: character death (and description of that + anxiety). word count: 2,539.

follow up: lacuna.

They said there'd be a light.

"Shepard!"

Joker's voice. Strangled as she hit the force close button as hard as she can, metal doors clamping shut over his wide, terror-stricken eyes.

Lights flash by her vision as the force throws her backwards from the wreckage of the Normandy, hurtling away from the ship that'd become her home. It knocks the wind out of her, sweat dripping down her face in rivers as she tries to regain a sense of balance. There's no tether to yank her back, nothing she can do.

There's no sound in space.

She can't hear anything but her own breathing, the alarms going off in her head as the stars spiral before her in a dizzying array. Red and orange paint her vision as she watches, fires raging over the mangled metal, desperately clawing out for something to hang onto while her vision darts to anything she can focus on. Anything she could cling to.

Normandy is still painted in big bold letters.

It disappears when she spins around again.

Everyone made it off, she thinks. Everyone she could think of. She wracks her brain before coming to the conclusion she'd stepped over a few corpses of crew members on her way out. Pressly had been dead on the ground of the cockpit when she'd stepped inside to find Joker.

She's weightless.

But she's alive.

Her comm crackles for a moment in her earpiece, someone trying to connect. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prays her alien crewmates knew their protocol if something went wrong. What she'd do if on top off Ashley only a few months ago, that she'd lose them too. Who would she contact when she got back to the Citadel? Matriarch Benezia was dead, she wasn't sure who Liara's next of kin was. Tracking down Garrus' father through spectre resources couldn't be too difficult. While the flotilla was hard to find, getting a message out to them would be easier. Wrex, Wrex she wasn't sure.

She'd seen Kaidan leave after she'd forced him to. As her XO, she hoped he wouldn't put her over the crew. She'd never forgive herself if he did, if he'd died trying to circle around to come and get her. She didn't want to think about what she'd say to his family.

Her thoughts are the only thing that ground her for that moment. Focus on what she could do, what she would do, not what she thought was going to happen. That would be when panic set in, and that would be when she started making stupid choices that'd hurry along her death faster. She was trained for this, she could handle it. Her blood is rushing through her ears, trying to take a breath in. She goes over the small list in her head, trying to compartmentalize her fear. Omni-tool, send out an SOS. The air tank would have to last until someone found her. Until someone found the Normandy's escape pods. She doesn't know who to pray to if that was the case.

But she has control of the situation. She knows what will happen. No curveballs. She could do this. Had even had the same situation happen during N7 training, the same feeling of being a little out of control. Zero gravity, an endurance test. People flunked, she didn't. All she needed to have was a feeling of control and she could get this done. There was just an arbitrary timer clicking in the back of her mind, connected to the rescue ships instead of her instructor's omni-tool.

She lifts her arm, her omni-tool orange UI fuzzing out.

There's a popping noise she can barely make out as the galaxy throws itself back a her. In a split second, her heart stops when she puts two and two together. Her hands immediately go up to the back of her helmet, desperately trying to figure out where the rip was. Her breathing quickens when she does find it on the cord to the back of her helmet. Split completely in two, probably by the blast or rogue piece of shrapnel, and while she can't feel it, she knows her life force is seeping out along with her air supply.

They say life flashes before your eyes when you're on the brink.

It does, nearly like a blinding vid she can't rip her eyes away from. Comparable to that of the vision the beacon on Eden Prime had given her, all too fast within those few seconds she makes the sickening realization she was about to die. Hopelessness sets in, as much as she tries to beat it back. Moments with her mother, her stepfather, her siblings. Her sister's return from Jump Zero, her brother's first steps. Her graduation from high school, her graduation from the N7 program. Elysium, the people she'd lost. Her first meeting with Anderson. Her first time aboard the Normandy. Eden Prime. Virmire. Ilos.

Characterized by people. Her mother, so proud of her for finishing the N7 program in her footsteps. Her stepfather, holding her close after Elysium. Her sister, visiting with cookies while she was in the hospital. Her brother, desperate to follow after her in the military. Ashley's smiling face with her weapons laid in a row on her workbench. Liara bent over her work in the back room behind the medbay, deep in thought. Wrex thumping her hard on the back for a job well done. Garrus, thanking her for what she'd done for him. Tali, excited and thankful when she'd handed the geth data over to her. Joker, ever confident and ever glad she put her trust in him.

Kaidan, waiting for her after every mission.

Kaidan, with his stories of Jump Zero.

Kaidan, with his beautiful mind and biotics that amazed her.

Kaidan, with his encouraging words.

Kaidan, and every gentle touch and word that he gave her.

Kaidan.

She should've done more, should've left more of a mark on the galaxy. She should've said something else. Told everyone how happy she was to work with them. Spent a little more time on Earth with her family. Said something, anything else to Kaidan before he left. Maybe, just maybe, if she'd moved faster she could've gotten Joker and herself out of there together.

It's pointless to play the what-if game with this situation, and she knows it. She wants to hold onto it. Wants that control back, wants to cement herself into fasten the cords together so she can have a few more hours.

She doesn't know how to fix this, not without tools, not without the graceful fingers that were ripped away from her by a terrifying feeling of her chest constricting in on itself. Static fills her ears, black clouding the edges of her vision and she coughs and sputters then and there. Someone's talking to her, she thinks. Maybe she's going crazy. Someone, anyone, is shouting her name, she thinks.

She's choking, suffocating. Air won't come as a cold feeling creeps over her fingers and toes, trying to respond to who it is. She wants to give her name, her designation, anything. Her heart throbs in her chest, painful with every breath she fails to take.

She's going to die.

She's going to die, alone and suffocating watching her ship go down right before her.

She's going to die.

She's still trying to fix the broken link, still trying to save herself even if she knows it's futile. Her eyes burn with tears, her fingers stiffen in her gloves, her arms fall back to her sides. It feels as if someone is sitting directly on her chest as her gasps for air burn her throat. Her omni-tool had been damaged in the attack, that much she knows when it finally pulls up on her wrist, a gentle, orange glow in the dark. On another channel, she can barely make out that it's reading her own vital signs back to her. A warning, that her oxygen levels were dangerously low. She thinks.

She's beginning to lose conscious thought. She can't see the edges of her helmet anymore, her nerves completely shot as she loses feeling in her feet. She's freezing, hypothermia would set in once she finally closed her eyes.

There's no fanfare when it happens, no bright, glowing light at the end of the tunnel. No ghost of her grandmother or God forbid Ashley coming to take her to the other side. She doesn't see the gates of heaven or the gates of hell. Whoever is shouting for her is the last thing she hears, the stark black of space and uncharted stars surrounding her when her light dies. Where everything fades to black.

Then there's nothing.

They said there'd be a light.

There's a light when she comes back to.

Except it's too bright.

All her senses are overwhelmed at once, her body is on fire with all of the different textures rubbing against her skin. She's cold, then she's hot. She can't see, the white light bearing down on her blinding her as she squeezes her eyes shut again, trying to alleviate the burning. She can't make sense of her surroundings, why is this happening, aren't I dead, and she can't move her limbs they feel like lead.

There's shuffling as she tries to make sense of the situation. Sounds.

Why can I hear if I'm dead? Why can I feel this infuriating and painful sense of something over my skin? Why does everything hurt?

It's all muted. The pain that flares up everywhere on her body, it's recognizable to just after the Blitz, the battle for the Citadel. Feeling the pain just ebbing at her consciousness, waiting for the painkillers to die and fall over her like a tidal wave in the middle of a hurricane.

Her heart pounds like a drum against her rib cage. It hurts, she's so aware of it. A rhythmic thump that only hastens once she starts to acknowledge it.

I'm dead.

"There, on the monitor. Something's wrong." A feminine voice then. She wants to scream, wants to lift herself off wherever she is. Why am I alive? Is this heaven? Hell? Things are coming back into focus all in a rush, metal ceiling above her and the cold of steel on her arms.

It's a nightmare. It has to be, "She's reacting to outside stimuli. Showing awareness of her surroundings."

A masculine voice. They're coming from just on her left...no her right. She thinks. She doesn't know. Her focus is consumed on moving something, anything, just to ignore everything coming at her. The sounds, the beeping, the incessant beeping threatens to drive her mad as it invades her mind.

She forces her eyes back open, "Oh my God, Miranda. I think she's waking up."

Miranda.

She holds onto the name, committing it to memory, trying to force her lips apart to say something. Say anything. Where are the muscles she has to use for that again? Her voice box, right, that made noise. Except she can't, her lips move but nothing comes out. She tries again, a choking sound joining the beeping of the machine.

She remembers. She remembers everything as soon as she tries to talk again, a scratching feeling destroying her throat. Growing colder, and colder and colder and colder until she can't feel anything. Struggling to breathe, trying desperately to just hang onto life for a few seconds longer.

Lights turn into stars. The ceiling turns into space, contorting before her. Fire looms.

She can't breathe.

Someone comes up beside her on her left side. Her right side. Left. Dark haired, blurry. Pale skin. White shirt. It blurs again while she tries to focus, then wrenching her head to the right. Left. Right again. Another person. Bald. Dressed in white. Blurry.

The beeping gets quicker, the stars hurtle towards her.

"Damn it, Wilson. She's not ready yet! Give her the sedative!" The feminine voice again. Accented, she thinks. Her chest compresses, laboring for another breath. She's back in space. Weightless. Scared shitless. Alone.

Why am I here? How am I here? Who's Miranda? What is she about to do me whoisWilson-

Her senses sharpen as she panics, adrenaline flooding her veins. She throws her arm out, floundering for something, anything to hold onto. She's scared, trying to make sense of the situation. Where are her parents? Her siblings? Anderson maybe? Chakwas, the doctor. Why wasn't she here? Is she even really alive? Is this some joke being played on her? Judgement for her past sins maybe? The dark haired woman comes back to her side. Watching her strain over and over again before gently taking her hand and pushing it back down to her side against her will, "Shepard -- don't try to move."

Howdoyouknowmyname?Whoareyouwhyareyouherestoptouchingme-

Her heart's nearly about to stop, it feels more like a jack hammer jamming in her chest, like a mass relay about to throw a ship into another system. The beeping joins the symphony of chaos, screaming like she is inwardly, "Just lie still. Try to stay calm."

Her voice is calm, velvety. Trying to soothe her shot nerves. Sparks feel like they're flying on her skin, blue dancing across her vision as the woman tries to hold her down, something on her left, right pushing into her arm with a prick. Something gets thrown, hits the ground and feels like it shatters her eardrums. Another object, "Heart rate still climbing. Brain activity is off the charts. Telekinesis is unconscious."

The masculine voice again. With interest. With concern.

Her thoughts are beginning to churn together, the world smudging together in splatters of grey as sweat dots her forehead. The blue grows stronger, electricity running up her spine, something else crashes into what she believes is a wall. I'mdeadIshouldbedeadwhatisthis, "Stats pushing into the red zone. It's not working!

The dark haired woman walks around her. Clicking on the floor that sounds like gunshots to her as her ears feel like they're about to explode from the onslaught of sound. She pushes the man out of the way after she throws her head left. Right, "Another dose. Now!"

Ican'tbreathe.

I'mdying.

Another prick. Just as she's sure she's to die again, the world blurs back into an incomprehensible mess of madness. But the beeping slows. It quiets. The clicking of the woman's heels softens. Her senses begin to drown in sedation. Her eyes start to flutter close, as she struggles against whatever is putting her to sleep. She can't go to sleep now, she has to know what's going on. But lifting her hand is difficult, moving her fingers is out of the question. The blue fades from her surroundings, "Heart rate dropping. Stats falling back into normal range."

The dark haired woman again. On her left. No, her right. Surely her right. Her face is still sharp, blurry around the edges where she eclipses the light above her. Pale skin, blue eyes, pink lips. Black hair falling over her shoulders. White shirt. She seems curious, unsure.

Miranda?

"That was too close, we almost lost her." The masculine voice again.

She thinks Miranda is observing. Watching her. But who is Miranda? Why is she watching her? And Wilson? Wasn't she dead? Where's the Normandy? Joker? Kaidan?

"I told you your estimates were off. Run the numbers again, we can't have her flaring on us when this is all finished, we nearly lost the lab." The woman says again, turning away from her. The illusion becomes unrecognizable, the woman little more than a child's painting of pale tan and black. She looks back down at her.

Again, she's thrown back into unconsciousness.

Nothing.

#mass effect #mass effect fanfiction #mass effect 2 #cw: character death #possible anxiety cw?#just tread lightly ig

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glapplebloom · 5 years ago

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Hopefully by now you’ve played the game or seen someone’s let’s play...

The story begins with something I didn’t expect: a council of animals from all different species. A young Zebra named Ribbon tells them a story about how they were almost killed by weird shadowy creatures which we know as Predators. Between this and other eye witnesses, the Llama in the group believes the prophecy is true. While the Rhino, the head of this group I presume, don’t believe in it, she still thinks its a good idea to find this Key the Predators are looking for and the entire council states that each species brings up their champion.

Chapter 1 begins with Arizona. And I hope you’re good with her because she’s the only one you get to play with. The Cattle knew of the past as they kept its knowledge with them despite everyone else forgetting it as Legend. So when Arizona’s father call out for volunteers, the first of the Book of Lore is broke: instead of everyone rushing to prove themselves, they all fled until only Arizona was the last one standing. She of course volunteers but her pops wouldn’t allow it. But while Texas is the leader of the Group, its Minnesota, his wife and Arizona’s mother, that wears the pants in this family. With her mother’s blessing and her father’s worry, she’s off to be the Champion of the Prairie.

The first bit of game play begins in the Canyon Pass. We get to see Arizona travel through it. While the over world looks like an RPG, this is always first and foremost a Fighting Game. Which leads me to one of my first problems: the platforming uses fighting game controls. It was an issue for me because despite being able to do so in other games, I had difficulty performing the short hops and super jumps it expected me to. Gonna guess it was the controller’s fault since it looks like a third party 360 Controller, but this becomes a bigger issue later on.

Despite agreeing to wait with a kind lady for the bridge to get built, Arizona sees a predator coming out of the “warned not to enter” Salt Mines and fights them off. Something to note is your health and levels stay with you after the fight. So if you’re not careful, you’ll be too low of health before you had the chance to recover. You can rebuild if you finish an opponent off with a super move, but for those who bought this game and aren’t into fighting games, maybe add some items that can restore health. One thing I will say I am glad for is the platforming doesn’t affect your health... Yet.

After getting out of the Salt Mines, our first boss encounter. It combines a normal fighting game engine with gimmicks depending on who you’re facing. Snakey, for example, attacks you from the background and you have to fight your way towards him while avoiding falling projectiles. It makes it more unique than how other fighting game story modes play it out. Downside, they expect you to remove 2 to 3 full health bars while you’re stuck with the one. Again, something people really good in fighting games can handle. Others will likely find it difficult. I like to think I’m in the middle but I am a person who favors Shoto Fighters and learned until after the fact Arizona has a smashing ground move that could be the closest to a projectile

Arizona is in the big city of the Reindeer. You can explore the city, see Pom chasing her dogs, and have an option fights with a bunch of Predators in someone’s basement (which honestly I believe is important to the story but you get to see that gate again in a later chapter) and in a hidden room in the library (sleeping with a Velvet Plush). I forgot to mention there are hidden costumes for you to find to wear on your RPG self. After finding the museum (with no help from the Reindeer), we get to meet boss #2: Velvet.

Now for some praising: the story mode does a great job letting us know of the main characters they focused on. The writing is very humorous and shows that this could be a great show if we get someone to produce cartoons for it. But because both are champions, only one could get the key: And that means they have to fight.

Velvet has three stages, but two share a life bar. The first is a normal fight. The second the wind constantly blows against you. This is when the rope can be useful to bring her in close if you’re position is right. The third phase is the most annoying. She’s in a tornado of ice and you have to get in close to hit her. But she’ll throw out various projectiles at you. Get close enough and you can hit her. But if you lose, you have to start from the last checkpoint. This is another problem I had. Granted, the check points are usually close to the boss encounter and there is a skip dialogue option, but to do so constantly when you keep failing is annoying when you can just put the rematch after the fight.

After that, you get to climb a mountain. This means more platforming. The biggest problem here is this time there are enemies. Bird Enemies. You can’t just hit them once and not worry, they got their own Health Bars and will attack you if you’re in their line of site. So imagine fighting game controls where you want to block these birds but instead turn around, leaving you open for an attack from behind. This is why I appreciate that Smash gives people a button to do jump as well as the ability to press up. That could help these platform stages so much more.

After climbing a mountain and fighting a murder of birds, she is found and patched up by a tribe of llamas. They warn her not to venture far but she does ignore them because she is on a quest. They do warn her of a monster in the maze and Arizona does indeed confront this monster: the Third Boss Paprika.

Like Velvet, Paprika has three phases with two sharing a life bar. 1st is a normal fight. Second is her sneak attacking you which you can avoid if you’re fast enough (or remember in the rematches) and third is she presses along the 4th Wall so she can jump on you from the front. Also, no one can understand her, not even her fellow Llamas.

After that, Velvet explores a temple. This is complete with Predator enemies, the in story Boss Gauntlet Gate, and block puzzles. You even drop two big ones on sleeping predators on the ground. After going through all that, you meet the final boss of this chapter: Oleander (or Ollie if you want to annoy her).

Unlike the other bosses, Ollie has four phases (but you only need to get to the third one to continue the story line): Phase 1, a normal fight. Phase 2, she sometimes burst in energy that can do major damage. Phase 3, she flies around the screen shooting magical blasts at you. And the Final Phase, with the help from Fred (the evil spirit within the book), you have to avoid his attacks while stopping Ollie from unleashing a one hit kill move.

If you lose at Phase 3, the story continues. If you somehow manage to win, Fred pretty much destroys you and the story continues regardless. Arizona is beaten as Ollie finds the information she is looking for. As she leaves, Arizona gets up to continue her journey, beaten but not giving up on her quest. And that’s where the Chapter ends.

Overall, its a fun story and its one of the most unique story modes in a fighting game. But I can see three improvements: Add a jump button for the platforming levels, have healing items, and maybe give back some health between phases. But still I would say give it a try or at least a watch.

#Other Reviews #Them's Fightin' Herds

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impossiblekittylady · 4 years ago

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How I unexpectedly went down the (BTS) rabbit hole

First, you should know that I’m a thirty something English teacher who loves pop and who recently got into all sorts of asian dramas, k-dramas, c-dramas, thai bl shows. I basically discovered that there was this whole new world of entertainment out there other than western shows, and I was loving it. I was also aware of the fact that there was something called kpop, as well as the fact there were many famous bands out there who had a huge following, but I knew next to nothing about who these people were, nor did I venture into that part of music industry. Ok, so that’s the premise.

Now, the story starts around the time the quarantine started in my country (March). After watching the Untamed, the Guardian, Weightlifting fairy etc.I decide to watch this korean historical show called Hwarang. Because handsome boys. So, I start watching the show, the boys are all gorgeous and I fall in love with the soundtrack. One of the songs, I discover, is sung by one the boys from the show. “Cool,”I say,” I didn’t know there were singer/actors”. By the comments in those youtube videos I figure out the guy’s name is Taehyung something, commonly known as V, and that he’s pretty famous (as evident by the amount of comments on Hwarang videos all commenting on his performance). Since in the show he was like a cutie pie, I was a bit shocked to realize that in the song the higher voice wasn’t actually his, but that he had a very deep voice. It was a bit mindblowing because I couldn’t match the voice and his character in Hwarang,but okay, not to digress to much. (also, in the meantime I realize there are some other singers in the show too, and after some googling, I am introduced to the guy from Shinee, but that’s not the point right now, so I won’t go into that). So, there I am, loving the song sung by V and the other guy with a very nice voice, who I learn is called Jin, and I learn they are members if BTS.

Now, up until this point, I knew there was a band called BTS, that they were a global sensation and that they had one of the most (if not THE MOST) positive fangroups in the world called Army or sth like that. But, if you asked me before Hwarang to name anyone from that group, I wouldn’t know anyone. Post-Hwarang, I was able to name V and Jin. So, that’s where I am in March.

Fast forward to June. I am procrastinating yet again on youtube, because it’s more interesting than making exams for my students. And I stumble upon a video called Class of 2020. Intrigued to see so many famous artists, I play it. And there come the BTS boys. They seem pretty nice, have nice stories about their graduation days, I think to myself “I can see why people like them, they seem like genuinely nice guys”. And then the first song starts. Of course, I don’t know the name, but it seems catchy and upbeat. There are seven of them, I watch them sing and dance, and the first thing I notice is - the choreography is mind-blowing, so I rewind the video to see it one more time. The second thing I notice is - they look so happy performing this song. I watch them dance and sing and can’t help smiling. There is one guy with the red microphone who seems so cheerful the entire song that I’m kind of intringued to see who he is. There is one guy whose voice is just wow, I could mistake it for a girl’s voice, seeing how high he goes. There is a guy whose facial features are just so aesthetically pleasing that I’m like - damn, son, you handsome. There is a guy who seems so cool, raps like a god and is basically chill. There’s this other guy who raps who kind of reminds me of my cousin. There’s also V who looks so.freaking.different.than in Hwarang. And Jin who, as I knew from that one song, has a pretty awesome voice.

So, at this point, I am kind of intrigued by them. Then the second song starts (I learn that it’s called Spring day), and that guy with the cheerful smile starts singing and I’m like, what are these feelings, how is he so perfect? Around the middle of the song I realize several things: 1. they have color-coded microphones so I can kind of see who is who(I remembered some colours from the first song) 2. they can sing really well. All of them. 3. Maybe I should learn their names. The song ends, the “bogo shipta” is going round my head and then the third song starts which is, I don’t know how to explain it differently than this: eargasm. Oh, my god! Such good song. And the guys are just goofing around, singing, having fun. The song ends, I go back to the beginning of the first song and try to remember who is who by the colours of their microphones, heh.

After that, now officially hooked on those three songs, I decide to watch other live performances of those songs. After endless videos, I stumble upon the Carpool karaoke video, I watch it and think - yup, they really are nice and funny. I begin my quest to learn their names. I start to recognize Namjoon, because he reminds me of my cousin, after several live videos of Spring day I can recognize Jimin (because of his high voice) and Jungkook because there was this youtube couple where everybody said that the bf looked like him, so I kind of remembered his face. I figure out the colours of the mics, which makes it easier to tell some of them apart when I’m not sure, hehe. I mix the happy guy (J Hope) and the cool guy (Suga), but after some videos with their funny moments I finally know how to tell all of them apart and what their names are.

Now, this whole process was about a day or two long, at that point my brother gives me weird looks when I keep randomly saying bogo shipta and then humming, but what can you do, it’s a very nice song. Then I spend the next two days watching all sorts of video compilations of their moments, be it funny moments, touching moments, sad moments, winning awards and I come to see why Army love these guys so much. They are a group of kind, generous, honest people who share the message of self-love. Their friendship is out of this world, and their music has such deep meaning that you can lose yourself in the lyrics (I lost myself in Mikrokosmos). And every single one of them is an individual with a unique personality, talent and voice. I’m glad I stumbled upon them and learned about their music. I don’t know how you become an army, but I can see I’m well on my way :)

#bts #bangtan #help I've fallen down the rabbit hole and ended up in BTS world #and I love it #I'm still a bts noob #but at least I know them better now

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kayteewritessteve · 5 years ago

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Love and War - 7/16

Description: In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 6,900 ish.

Pairing: Medieval!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: PG for now. May become 18+ later.

Warnings: Violence. Curse words. Mentions of fears and potentially brutal medieval tactics. Most likely more to come down the road. Please don’t let these warnings scare you too much, give the story a try before you judge it.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader either, so I do proudly own all these errors and this story, so there’s that.

“What are you doing here, Hepha?” you growled out as you narrowed your eyes at him. “You aren’t welcome here. Get out.”

“Is that anyway to speak to your betrothed?” He raised an eyebrow at you, “to the man with whom will be your husband come morning.”

“It is, if that man,” you once again spat the word as if it were a curse, “is being forced upon me. Has concocted a sick ploy to obtain my hand. I have no respect to give you, as you deserve nothing from me. You disgust me.”

He glared at you for a moment, but didn’t leave as you’d wished. So you crossed your arms and levelled a fierce glare right back at him. “Now, I’ll tell you once more, as you seem to have misheard me the first time. You are not welcome here, Hepha. So. Get. Out.”

“I saw Alarick leaving your room just now,” he commented, ignoring your demand once again. “What was he doing here, Y/N?”

“You’re spying on me now?” You scoff, “that’s a new low, even for you.”

“Answer my question,” he commanded.

“I will not, as I owe you nothing. And I am still a free woman for tonight. Therefore you can not command me to do anything. Now leave.”

“I heard everything,” he took a step towards you. “I know what you both are planning.”

“And I do not care what you heard, there is nothing you can do to stop this. You shall never be victorious against Alarick’s will. Or do you forget what he is famous for?”

“Mark my words, Y/N. You will be mine. I will own you and then rub it in Alarick’s smug face every chance I can get.”

His words sent a nasty chill down your spin, a polar opposite effect to the chill Ari evoked from you. You were just about to spit a rebuttal back at him when you realized you were both just talking in circles. The words were coming out but getting you nowhere fast. You needed a new approach here. One that would rid your space of this buffoon.

You did have one trick up your sleeve that could maybe end this all. It was worth a shot, you weren’t known for your persuasion for nothing. You had a gift of influencing others to see things differently, at least everyone except Athos. But you always knew your talents wouldn’t work on him, he saw right through them.

“Why do you want to marry me so badly?” You questioned quietly, feigning a soft and intrigued expression on your face.

“What do you mean, why?” He furrowed his brows, “isn’t it obvious?”

“I have heard the whispers of your feelings for me,” you nodded slowly, “but I never understood why you felt so strongly for me. We have barely ever spoken. And how you could pick me,” you gestured to yourself, “over Aasira, confuses me.”

“What does Aasira have to do with any of this?”

Your eyes widen, comically. Playing this all up as best you can. “You don’t know?” You mumbled.

“Know what?”

You dropped your voice to a persuasive sultry whisper, “she is madly, deeply, irrevocably in love with you, Hepha.”

The twinkle in his eyes told you that your plan was nearly complete. “She is?” He questioned.

You smiled, sweetly, “oh yes. She goes on and on, to anyone who will listen, about how truly in love with you she is. It’s really rather sweet to hear.”

He put his hands on his hips and dropped his head forward, “I never knew she felt that way,” he sighed deeply. “Had I known, things would have been very different.”

Time to go in for the kill, you stepped towards him and placed your hand on his shoulder, in a reassuring way. “There is still time, you can still change your Fate. Go to her, confess your love. She may play coy at first, women like to hold the control in situations of the heart. But I promise if you are persistent, she will cave and confess her true feelings for you.”

He glances up at you, a glazed over expression in his eyes, as if he was far away. And you instantly realized it worked, he had fallen for it, hook, line and sinker. He nodded, “I will go to her.”

“Good. Go now,” you whispered seductively into his ear, “you will be so happy with Aasira. That I see for you.”

And with that he hastily exited your room, and once the door was closed you released the breath you’d been holding. A chuckle escaped your lips as you turned and headed towards your closet to ready yourself for Ari’s return, “that man really is an utter fool.”

Your eyes slowly flutter open, the sunlight filtering in through the sheer window coverings. You stretch your arms above your head, sighing contently as you remember you have a meeting with the King today. But as you are reveling in those thoughts the door to your room opens swiftly and you snap up to a sitting position, clutching the sheets to your chest.

“Good morning, My Lady,” Pepper’s sweet voice fills your ears and you instantly relax. Realizing it isn’t the King entering your room, but the three ladies instead. “How was your sleep?”

“Good,” you nod, “how was all of yours?”

Hilde and Hope giggle, earning them each a playful swat from Pepper before she turns to you again. “They were good as well,” she smiles sweetly at you, “shall we get you ready for the day?”

“Of course,” you remove the blankets from atop yourself and swivel to sit on the edge of the bed. Just needing another moment before you place your feet upon the cool wooden floors. But as you glance down, you furrow your brows in confusion.

“Pepper, these furs weren’t always here,” you look up at her, “were they?”

She smiles widely and shakes her head, “they weren’t. The King believed you could do with not freezing your toes off every morning.”

“Wow, that was,” you glance back down at the glorious furs now adorning the floor next to your bed, “really sweet of him.” You smile and stand up off the bed, wiggling your toes happily in the soft, silky strands.

“He seems to be rather fond of you, My Lady,” Pepper says, now standing beside you, a knowing look on her face.

“Please, can you all just call me Y/N,” you look between the three woman. “I’m not a highborn, you calling me a Lady just doesn’t feel right.”

They all nod, saying, “of course,” in unison.

“Thank you,” you smile.

“Alright Y/N, shall we get you ready?” Pepper asks.

“Yes,” you nod, eagerly. “Please.”

You sit in your room, looking at your reflection in the vanity mirror. The ladies were gone now, off to do whatever it is they do during the day. And you were currently just admiring their handiwork, while anxiously waiting for the King.

This would be your first time alone with him, without all the eyes of his Lords and Generals upon you both. This was also the first time you knew a visit with him was coming. The last two times he just sort up popped up in front of you. Not leaving you a chance to feel these nerves beforehand.

Well, I mean, you were nervous when you were running for what you believed was your life. But those are a different form of nerves all together. Those were nerves of fear. But these ones. No, these ones, are excited nerves. You are almost vibrating you are so electrified.

You’ll be able to ask him all your questions, or at least most of them. You’ll maybe be able to learn a little more about him. About his kingdom, his people, their history. You’ll be able to just be around him, something your heart hasn’t let you forget. Something in you craving him. Needing to be near him. You have no idea how or why you feel this strongly about a man you only just met. But when you are around him, something in you just feels content. Whole, almost. It’s all so very strange.

A knock on your door makes you jump slightly. And then a kaleidoscope of butterflies erupts in the pit of your stomach. As your heart rate climbs to an unnaturally high rate of speed. You quickly give yourself one more glance in the mirror. Just to be sure you still look alright and then you quickly stand and briskly walk to the door.

And once you have pulled it open, everything freezes. As your mouth almost drops open at just the sight of him, though you manage to catch it before it does. Glad for not looking like a fish out of water in this exact moment.

The large crooked smile on his lips makes your heart skip a beat, and you quickly try to reign yourself back in. To reign your bodies natural reaction to him, back in. You don’t want to seem too eager, too willing. “My Lady,” he says happily, through his glorious grin, as he bows his head to you. And you instantly realize that even his teeth are beautiful. Of course they would be. How could you think they wouldn’t be. Everything about him is beautiful.

You lightly shake your head, trying to focus your mind. “Your Highness,” you reply softly, as you go to curtsy to him. And even though he told you not to the last time, something in you just doesn’t feel right not bowing to a King. Especially one of his caliber.

But before you can even fully lower yourself down, two of his fingers once again catch your chin. Halting your actions instantly as he urges you to rise. And with the contact of his fingers on your skin, brings back the tingles once again, surging happily from your chin to around your body, and ending in your toes. This is all starting to feel familiar, like you are reliving the past.

Once you are standing up again, he gently tilts your chin up to look at him. And you fight to not lose yourself in the sea blue of his eyes. But you know your efforts are futile, at best. They are just too inviting, too entrancing to not gaze longingly at.

“I thought we talked about this,” he chides, his voice deep and authoritative, but the corner of his lip curls up just slightly in amusement. Leading you to believe he is being playful with you. “It is Steve to you, and you do not need to bow to me. On the contrary actually, it is I who should be bowing to you.”

You furrow your brows, confused and stunned by his words, though you can feel a hot flush rising in your cheeks at them as well. You step back slightly, removing your chin from his grasp and reluctantly tearing your eyes away from his, flicking them down and to the side. Needing a moment away from his intense gaze and his tingly touch to collect yourself. While also hoping to hide the reddening of your face from him, even a little.

“As beautiful as that sentiment is, I really don’t think it’s proper for you, a King, to be bowing to anyone, let alone me,” you mumble quietly. As much as you’d love to envision yourself his equal, in every way. You aren’t, and you need to remember that. You can’t allow yourself to forget, because one wrong move on your part, could end with losing your head. Or worse, a broken heart. Even though he tells you to be yourself, to say and act how you please. That will only lead you deeper down the rabbit hole. Cause you to fall faster for this man. Which will not end well for you.

You don’t even know who you are. Where you come from. Or who out there is missing you right now. You can’t go falling for a ruthless warlord King. You just can’t. You need to get a handle on yourself, on your heart, your body, your soul. They need to see reason, they need to understand that you can’t stay here. You can’t love this man. You are a commoner, a peasant. He is a King.

“I will bow to whomever I see fit. And I have never been much for following the rules,” he says, leaning to the side slightly, in an attempt to see your face, to capture your eyes again. “But I’m guessing you already knew that.”

“I did,” you nod, still not looking at him. Focusing your gaze on the base of the fireplace to your right.

“So then you are aware that in this castle, in this kingdom, I do things as I so choose. I do not follow the rules, or the ways of others. Therefore, I will decide who is deserving of my respect, of my fidelity,” he says resolutely. His words final, leaving no room for a rebuttal of any kind, as his mind is clearly already made up on this, and nothing anyone says will change that. Best to just leave it there, instead of continuing on, pointlessly.

You nod, finally bringing your eyes back to his, “who am I to question the beliefs of a King?” You ask rhetorically. “Though, I find it really rather admirable just how strongly you feel on matters such as this.”

He smirks and offers you his arm, “and I find it rather admirable how strongly you feel about upholding proper etiquette and protocols.” He chuckles, deeply. The sound echoing in his chest deliciously.

You laugh as you accept his arm, “well, then I shall continue to uphold them. Just for you,” you wink up at him, playfully.

“Please do,” he smiles down at you, then starts to lead you down the hallway.

After a few moments, you break the comfortable silence. “Where are we going?” You ask softly, politely, as you both begin to descend the stairs to the main level. Mainly just curious as to his plans for you both.

“I figured we could take a walk through the garden. It’s one of my favourite places in the castle, but I haven’t gotten many chances to appreciate it lately.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you frown, “I can’t imagine how tedious and time consuming running an entire kingdom must truly be.”

“It is a lot of work,” he nods, “but I do enjoy it. It gives me a purpose, keeps my mind busy. Keeps it distracted from,” he trails off there, going silent. And then something flashes in his eyes. A glint of sadness, of heartache. His voice having sounded so very different from what you’d grown accustomed to. A polar opposite from it’s usual commanding and self assured tone. He almost sounded disheartened there, mournful even. Which makes your heart ache for him, you want more than anything to take away his pain in this moment. To quiet all his worries and troubles. You just feel this strong urge to comfort him, to make him happy once again.

And then the tale of his possible wife, the queen of Winterbourne, being kidnapped and murdered crashes into your mind. Was that story also true? Did he once have a wife who was taken from him, who was killed by his enemies and who he then sought out to avenge. Is that what he tried to now distract himself from?

You were about to ask him about it, but then as fast as those emotions appeared in his eyes, they disappeared. And as you both begin to walk down a long bright corridor, with large windows all along the right side wall, he glances down at you and smiles. “From other things, but those aren’t important at the moment. Tell me about yourself.”

You want to ask what truly troubles him, you want to find out if the tale of the kidnapped Queen is true or not. You really just want to know how to help him, you have this deep urge to comfort him, to take away all his pain. But something else deep inside you, tells you that he will inform you eventually, when he is truly ready. And though you don’t want to listen to that thought, you know that pushing him to tell you won’t get you anywhere.

He doesn’t strike you as an easily persuaded type of man. Nor is it your place to bring up such a potentially traumatic moment in his life, if he truly did have a wife who was taken from him, you highly doubt he wants you, of all people, to bring it up. So you decide to let him steer the conversation, this time. “What would you like to know?”

“Anything,” he shrugs, “everything.” He pauses, as you both reach a set of large wooden doors at the end of the hallway, ones you figure will lead you outside. And as he pulls one open for you, you gasp quietly, instantly stunned by what lays before you.

The garden is like nothing you’ve ever seen before, at first glance it appears like something out of a child’s storybook. Like another world entirely, some place magical. A wild and overgrown forest, hidden away from the eyes of mere men. You half expect to see fairies flying around, which honestly wouldn’t surprise you one bit here, in this beautiful little eden.

But upon closer inspection, you realize it’s actually not wild at all, instead everything has a place. And it is clearly meticulously tended to, regularly.

It isn’t a huge garden, much smaller then you’d imagined. But where it lacks size, it makes up for in beauty. There are tall, stone walls that surround the entire garden, meeting the castle on either side. Thick vines, foliage and hedges cover the majority of 2 out of the 3 stone walls. Only leaving the tops exposed, with little bits of the wall peeking through here and there.

However, the third wall, the one on your right, has a trellised walkway that is attached to the stone wall and runs the whole length of it. The trellises and wall covered entirely, by vibrant purple wisteria vines. It’s truly a sight to behold. And then speckled all throughout the space are small, leafy trees. The bases of which are covered entirely by bright, multi coloured flora and lush greenery.

The last thing your eyes notice is the wide, light grey gravel path that leads off to the right. Directly to the wisteria covered walkway and then, from what you can tell, it loops around the entire garden. Before coming to an end on the left of where you currently stand. Rejoining with the paths start point, and creating somewhat of a circle around the whole garden.

“What do you think?” Comes a deep, but soft voice from your left and instantly you are reminded that you’re not alone here. That the King currently stands beside you. “Do you like it?”

You glance up at him, a giant involuntary smile on your face, as you nod, “so very much.” You look back out to the stunning garden in front of you, “and I love it, actually. It’s truly thee most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes upon.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he says as his hand comes to rest on top of yours, which is still holding on to the crook of his elbow. Then he starts to walk you both to the right, along the gravel path. “So, I believe you were just about to tell me of yourself?”

You giggle, your eyes just taking in all the beautiful flowers as you walk along. “There isn’t much to tell. I live in Triskelion with my brother and sister, Pietro and Wanda. And I enjoy drawing,” you shrug, “but that’s about it.”

“You draw?” He quickly asks, excitement in his deep voice. “What things do you enjoy drawing most?”

“I don’t really have a favourite, just whatever catches my eye that day. Though I must admit that I am horrible with portraits,” you chuckle, “I can never get the eyes just right. So I don’t do those much. I mainly stick to landscapes, birds and inanimate objects.”

He nods, “I draw as well.”

“You do?” you pause your steps, turning to look up at him with wide eyes, “what things do you draw?”

He smiles down at you, “portraits mainly,” he chuckles now. “But also landscapes and the world around me.”

“I never would have guessed,” you mumble quietly as you both begin to walk again. “I’d very much like to see some of your drawings sometime, if that’s alright with you.”

“Of course,” he nods. “So tell me more about your family. It’s just you and your siblings? No parents?”

“Uh,” you falter slightly. Not sure how much to divulge to him. Though something deep down refuses to allow you to lie to him, and before you can think better of it, you begin to tell him the truth. All of it. “Pietro and Wanda aren’t my true siblings. I don’t actually know any of my blood relations. Or where I came from,” you sigh, lowering your eyes to your free hand. Which now plays with the material of your dress. “They found me wandering aimlessly in the woods, completely out of it. So they took pity on me and brought me back to their home. When I finally came to, I had no recollection of where I came from. Or where I was going. All I knew was my first name.”

He pauses you both this time, turning slightly to look at you, “they found you alone in the woods?”

You nod, still keeping your eyes down, watching as your fingers pull lightly on a loose string. “Yes, almost a year ago now.”

“And you’ve lived in Triskelion ever since?”

“I have.”

He mumbles something that you don’t quite hear, but it sounded like he said, ‘that close all this time.’ But you can’t be sure. Nor do you even understand what he’d mean by that. Then he speaks up, so you can hear him, “this Pietro and Wanda, they are good to you, yes?”

Your eyes finally flick up to meet his, a smile on your lips at the thought of your siblings, “oh yes, they treat me very well, like I am actually part of their family. I love them both, so very much,” and as the words leave your mouth, the smile falls away and is replaced by a frown. “Though I find myself deeply missing them as of late,” you whisper. One question sitting on the tip of your tongue, you know you need to ask it. To get it over with. But you are afraid of the answer you’ll get. Either he will let you return home in the next few days, or he will not.

But his answer isn’t what actually scares you, what truly does is that you aren’t sure which one would hurt you more. Him allowing you leave soon, or him forcing you to stay. Both don’t seem ideal at the moment. And both make your heart ache in completely different ways.

How someone you just met can invoke these deep emotions in you, unnerves you. You are placing him in a similar spot in your heart to your siblings. To the two people you have grown to love over a year together. Yet, 2 days with this man, and he already holds such a large place in your life. So large that you can’t even begin to imagine never seeing him again. You aren’t sure which is worse, never seeing your siblings again, or never seeing the King—Steve.

You want to smack yourself for even allowing these thoughts to float around in your mind. How dare you put him on the same level as Wanda and Pietro. They earned their spots in your heart. They proved themselves worthy of them.

But then why does being here, with this man, in this place, feel so damned right? Why does it feel like you’ve known him your whole life. Like you are only just telling each other about yourselves, but those are just words. You know him, you truly know him, on a spiritual level. Almost like deep, deep down your souls know one another.

However crazy that may sound aloud, to you, it sounds completely accurate. Seems so utterly right. Like this is the truest and most realistic thing you’ve ever thought or felt in your entire life. Or at least in the time that you can actually remember.

And even though the words almost burned leaving your mouth, you spit them out anyways, “I would like to know when I can return home, to Triskelion. To my family.”

He seems slightly taken aback at your words at first, but then his features instantly turn cold, unrelenting. And his eyes, they have darkened now, looking near black. “You can’t,” he almost growls out.

Your stupid heart skips a beat for some reason, but your brain finally clears of the haze it’s been in. You take a step back from him, his sudden mood change catching you off guard, yet not scaring you in the slightest. Your movement away from him earns you a displeased rumble from deep within his chest. But you don’t pay much attention to that. “What do you mean ‘I can’t’?” You cross your arms over your chest.

“Exactly as I said. You can not leave. I do not allow it,” he sternly says, once again the words coming out sounding almost like a growl.

“So I am to just, what exactly? To stay here until you grow bored of me and finally allow me to leave. Until you decide to send me away?”

He narrows his blackened eyes at you, “I could never, and will never grow bored of you. Nor will I ever send you away.”

You scoff, “you can’t know that for sure. Nobody knows how they will feel in a few days. Let alone a few weeks.” And even though you personally know you could never grow bored of him, you aren’t an interesting, clearly misunderstood warlord King. You are just, you. A woman who has no memory of her life. No idea where she comes from or who her relations are. You have basically told him everything about yourself already, and that only took a few moments. He will just grow tired of you, once you run out of interesting things to talk about.

But then by that point, you will most likely be head over heels for him. So when he does toss you aside, it will be you that ends up truly hurt. Truly heartbroken.

“Oh but I do know,” he says smugly, the cold exterior now completely gone, and his eyes have also now gone back to their usual blue colour. Along with softening up immensely, so much so that they now hold your gaze captive once again. “I know exactly who you are to me, little one. As well as what you will be to me in the future.”

You furrow your brows, “what does that even mean?”

He pulls you down to sit on a bench that you hadn’t even noticed was beside you both. “How much do you know of Lycans?”

“Werewolves? Only that they are men who can turn into large wolves.” You pause momentarily, unsure if you should say this or not, but figure you have nothing to lose now. “And that you are one,” you whisper.

He scoffs, “I am not a werewolf.”

“But I saw you, I know you were the wolf that caught me the other night,” you furrow your brows. “I recognized your eyes when you returned as a man.”

He smirks, “you’re right, I was the one who caught you. But I am a Lycan, not a werewolf.”

“There is a difference?”

“Yes, many actually,” he nods. “For starters Lycans are not only larger in size, but also much, much more intelligent. We also have full control over our shifts and can’t be killed as easily. Werewolves just need a little silver to take them down. A Lycan needs to be beheaded, or it will just heal and regrow.”

“So you can shift into a wolf at any point?”

“Yes, werewolves are forced to shift only on full moons. They can’t control it. Whereas Lycans can shift whenever they like. Day or night. Full moon or not.”

You nod, slowly, just taking this all in. “How-how many of you here are Lycans?”

“Almost everyone here is.”

Your eyes widen, “the whole kingdom?”

He nods, “yes, my entire pack. That is what we—Lycans, call our people, our groups. They are known as packs. And each pack has leaders, an Alpha, a Beta, and a Gamma.”

“So that’s what they meant when they called you Alpha at dinner, it’s your title in the,” you pause, continuing on unsurely, “the pack?”

He smiles, “yes, using my title is a sign of respect. Of submission.”

“And Bucky is Beta, while Nat is Gamma?”

“You catch on very quickly,” he chuckles, “yes, they are. Second and third in command. Should anything happen to me, before I can produce an heir that is, Bucky would take over as Alpha. Though he would likely be challenged for the position at that time, before he can fully take the title.” He shrugs, “but that’s nothing really, he is the strongest Lycan I know. He has always been able to hold his own, and I’ve yet to ever see him lose a battle, to anyone. Though, any of us could be challenged at any point, really. Not just in an Alpha changeover.”

“Someone could challenge you for the spot of Alpha?”

“Someone could, yes. But no one is foolish enough to attempt that. Alpha’s are larger, stronger, faster than other Lycans. They are not easy to beat, and if you lose a challenge against one, you are either killed or made rogue.”

“Rogue?”

“A name for outcasts, drifters. Lycans are stronger in packs, they have a home, a purpose. Someone to keep them in line. Rogues are loners, they are weaker and often times more ruthless. They kill first, ask questions later. They lack the empathy or morality that comes from being part of a pack. That comes from not having an Alpha they need to answer to.”

You nod, a chill running down your spin at the thought that these ruthless things, these rouges, are running around in the world. And you had no clue, just lucky enough to have never encountered one in your life. “That’s all rather unnerving, if I’m being honest.”

“It can be, yes. But you have nothing to fear, little one. I promise you are safe here, with me.”

You nod, glancing away at the colourful flowers around you. Choosing to just stay silent as you don’t really know what to say. Or how to respond to that. He seems to sense your unease and begins to speak again. “But enough with all of that. There are so many beautiful things about Lucans, would you like to hear some of them?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Lycans are fiercely loyal, and protective of the ones they love. Their families, their packs, and,” he hesitates for just a second, and you flick your eyes back to him, locking with his instantly. His beautiful sea blues now a little darker, and a lot more intense, “their mates.”

“Mates?” You whisper, breathlessly, lost in the pools of his eyes. But a small voice in your head reminds you of what Bucky called Nat, ‘his mate.’

“Every Lycan has one true mate, someone out there made entirely for them. Fated to meet, destined to love. Their true equal in every way, and the other half to them.”

“Like a soulmate?”

“Yes, exactly,” he nods, “however, we just refer to them as mates.”

“And every Lycan only has one?” You ask, and then hesitantly add, “you only have one?”

“We do,” he nods. “Only one.”

“And have you,” you clear your throat, “have you met your mate yet?”

He nods again, a small fond smile on his lips, “I have.”

You frown, unable to prevent it. You are well aware that he could be insinuating that you are his mate. But that small, stupid little self-conscious voice in your head tells you that he could also be talking about another woman entirely. That he could be referring to the kidnapped Queen from the story. The wife that was stolen from him.

And then the voice reminds you that even if that story isn’t true, you are just a commoner, a nobody in comparison to him. You don’t deserve him, no matter how much you wish you did. And that you can’t get your hopes up like this, you can’t allow yourself to fantasize about being his Fated mate. Not until you know for sure. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because you need to understand.” He gently takes both your hands, clasping them in his much larger, warm ones. The familiar tingles playing along your skin once again, as his thumbs lightly rub the tops of your hands. His eyes dropping down to watch the movement, “you feel that, don’t you?”

“I-I do,” you nod once, hope blooming in your heart, as you glance down at both your joined hands. Yours look so small, so dainty, compared to his. You flick your eyes back up, seeing him just watching you now, “is that just another Lycan thing or?”

“Sort of,” he chuckles, “now imagine that feeling, ten fold. That is what it feels like to us, to Lycans, when we touch our true mate,” he trails off, his eyes no longer on you, but instead locked onto something behind you now. Narrowing slightly at whatever it is he is looking at. You hesitantly glance over your shoulder only to see Thor and Clint standing—or rather, bowing, a few feet into the garden, near the door into the castle.

You turn back to Steve, when a deep, menacing growl echoes in his chest. And he does not look happy at all, no longer the cheerful, smiling and laughing man he was just seconds ago. You go to pull your hands out of his, slightly nervous about what is going on, and why he is all of a sudden so angry. But also knowing that the arrival of not one, but two of his Generals, must mean something has happened. Something big enough to warrant two Generals needing to bother the King.

But the second you try, he tightens his grip, not painfully by any means, but enough to prevent you from retrieving your hands back. And then his eyes snap back to yours, softening instantly, “I’d never hurt you, Y/N. No matter how angry I may seem at times,” he whispers. “I would never. I could never,” he shakes his head.

“I know,” you whisper back, truthfully, giving him a small reassuring smile. You honestly do know that he’d never hurt you, though you aren’t exactly sure why. Just something in you tells you that he would never harm you, that you are truly safe with him. “I just figured you’d have to leave now. But I’d very much like to stay here a while longer, if I could.”

“I’m glad you know that,” he smiles widely, but then it drops, “but you are correct. I unfortunately must leave you now. Though you may stay here as long as you’d like, and visit it whenever you please. I just ask that from now on, you never go anywhere, outside of your rooms, alone. I will have a guard stationed outside your door at all times from now on. Should you want or need anything, or to go anywhere, have them retrieve one of my Generals to escort you.”

“Why? Is there a reason you, all of a sudden, want me to be watched and guarded? Is there something I should know?”

He chuckles, and shakes his head, “nothing to worry you with, it’s mainly just for my own peace of mind. I have many enemies, some stronger than others, and word is spreading fast of a new Lady in the castle. Many will jump to conclusions about that, and I want to make sure you stay safe,” he raises both your hands in his, to his lips. Placing a sweet, chaste kiss on the knuckles of each hand. “Just as I’ve promised to keep you.”

You don’t fully believe him, and you’re well aware he is currently trying to distract you. But you aren’t so easily diverted, you can tell there is something happening that he is refusing to tell you, but you will play along for now. Ignore it while he is still in front of you. If he won’t be upfront with you about it now, no amount of questioning will make him tell you. The man is a damned fortress, or at least you believe that he probably is, when he so chooses to be.

So you playfully narrow your eyes at him, or at least you let him believe it’s playfully. “Alright then, but I’m trusting you here, Steve. Don’t let me down.”

A deep rumble vibrates in his chest, his eyes turning darker as he intensely stares at you over your knuckles. The rumble sounding almost like a purr. “Say it again,” he commands softly, his voice now more deep and husky then you’ve ever heard it before.

“Don’t let me down?” You repeat, slightly confused why he wants you to repeat that.

“No,” he shakes his head, slowly, “my name.”

This new tone of his voice is doing a great many magical things to you. But on top of that, you really love that just you saying his name can have this effect on him. That gives you a surge of confidence. You smirk, leaning forward to place your lips beside his ear, lowering your voice to a sultry whisper, “Steve.”

He groans quietly and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his hard, warm body. His head dips down, his nose burying into the space between your shoulder and neck. Then he takes a deep breath in, the action causing goosebumps to form all over your skin, as a pleasant shiver travels down your spine. Your stomach fluttering and head spinning from the contact, as you sigh out happily from just how warm and content you truly feel in this moment. How safe you feel having his large arms wrapped securely around your smaller form.

“You are going to be the death of me. I can just feel it,” he mumbles into your neck after a moment, and you just barely hear him. So you aren’t sure if he is talking to you or just aloud to himself. “And what’s worse is I’d happily let you be.”

Then with that, he abruptly releases you and quickly stands. Leaving you once again cold and despondent from the loss of him. You almost whine in displeasure and demand he return to embracing you, but stop yourself at the last second. Thinking better of it. Regardless of what your heart is screaming at you to do, your head takes control, thankfully.

“Stay here as long as you wish. Clint will stay with you, and accompany you back to your rooms when you are ready.”

You nod, and glance down at your hands, now alone in your lap. “Okay,” you reply quietly, sadly.

A large hand cups your cheek, and your eyes flick back up to his, “believe me, little one, I do not wish to leave you yet. I had hoped to spend more time with you, but there are things I must attend to first. However, you will see me again very soon, I promise.”

You raise your hand to cover his, still on your cheek. Taking a deep breath in when you see the sincerity of his words in his once again, sea blue eyes. “I believe you. And I look forward to our next encounter.”

“As do I,” he smiles widely at you, and then his hand slips from your hold and before you can blink, he is gone. You snap your eyes over to the door, seeing Clint still standing there, but Thor is now gone as well.

Clint smiles, bowing his head to you, and you offer a smile in return. Though it’s small and forced, at best. Then you glance out into the garden, deciding to just sit here a while longer before finishing the gravel loop and then heading back to your room.

But the flowers don’t seem as vivid or vibrant anymore. They now seem dull and muted. But you don’t pay them much mind, instead your thoughts travel to the possibilities of what your next visit with Steve will be like. What it will entail. And a small, genuine smile forms on your lips. Whatever happens the next time, you just know, deep down, that it will be just as amazing and magical as the other encounters have been. You can just feel it, in your head, in you heart, and in your soul. Maybe, just maybe, you are in fact his true mate.

Because if you are not, then you are in for a whole lot of heartache very, very soon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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