#as far as I can tell it was thirteen’s run that dropped it from thirteen to ten then from ten to six

[somehow-progressing]

I wish tv seasons weren’t getting shorter. eight episodes is too short for a serialized show like dw. AND that means gatwa is only getting 24 episodes total, that sucks!

for reference, tennant got 39 in his original run

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part thirteen —other parts

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival.

"Twix."

Blue says your name in a single exhale of relief. You didn't expect her to be awake. She sits with her legs outstretched by a barely-there fire as you enter the cabin, the busted door groaning shut behind you. Fatigue sinks you to the floor beside her. You're about to curl your numb hands within the long sleeves of your new jacket, but the burn on your fingers makes you wince from the friction.

“You're filthy." She reaches for your hand, gently inspecting the burn. "And someone hurt you."

"Well, technically, I hurt them."

Blue shakes her head, the tone of her voice hardening the moment she drops your hand. "You shouldn't have gone."

"It was important—"

"It was stupid. You saw how those guys tried to kill us!" She huffs out a breath before snapping her gaze back to the flames. "You... you didn't tell me you were leaving. You didn't even say goodbye. I just woke up and you were gone.”

"I didn't want to wake you this morning because you needed rest,” you reason.

"That's a shitty excuse," she grumbles back, gesturing to the pink bracelet on her wrist. "I may not have a lot of friends, but I do know they're supposed to tell each other things like this."

Your eyes trail down from the burnt skin on your fingers, red and bubbly, to the cheap, plastic beads encompassing your wrist.

"You're right," you speak softly. "I should have told you."

A few minutes lapse in thick silence. In the midst of it, you swallow a few chalky pills to help with all the pain. You've been conservative in using them so far, but with your additional score of medicine, you figure you can afford some relief. There's no way you'll be able to sleep with your bitten wrist throbbing incessantly.

You're about to lean against the wall and let your eyes flutter shut when Blue speaks again, this time her voice so quiet you wonder if you're imagining it. 

"You know, I was excited to go on this trip," she whispers, still looking at the fire. "I even secretly hoped we'd run into other people, just because—" she pauses to swallow, "—because I never get to meet any. And the ones we have met, my dad always kills. Except for you."

She drags her sleeve over her face and it’s now you notice she is crying. A knot forms in your throat and, after the day you've had, you struggle to find the right words. 

"He kills them for a reason," you settle on, voice equally hushed. "A lot of people are—"

"A threat, I know." Blue repeats the words like a bitter mantra, then looks at her bandaged leg. "What does it feel like?" she asks after a moment, sliding her glossy eyes to yours. “Killing a person. Ghost told me it feels just like killing an animal or a Grey."

You inhale, then fix your stare to the dark ceiling. "No— I don't think it feels the same. It's much worse. I still get sick from it,” you admit.

"How many have you killed?"

"I don't remember anymore, but not that many." Certainly not as many as Ghost has. "It was always in self-defense. Always because I had to."

"I wish nobody ever had to," she says.

"I know. Me, too.”

With a sigh, she carefully scoots closer to you. "I'm sorry for getting mad. I just want to go home.”

"Don't be sorry. I’m the one who is sorry." You shake your head and offer her a shoulder until both of you have your backs against the wall. Her hair tickles your cheek. A small hand slips around your waist in a tender embrace, her fingers latching onto the fabric of the jacket. The sore muscles of your core flex instinctively from the touch before you finally force yourself to relax. It’s just Blue.

"Your dad says we're going back tomorrow,” you whisper, jaw grazing the crown of her head. “Sleep. It'll be a long day again."

"A long day for you maybe," she murmurs against your shoulder. "I get to ride on his back."

"Lucky you." You drape the heavy blanket over your bodies. Together you are warmer, if only by a little. 

Deft wind whooshes through the trees, kissing your wet skin. Splotches of wriggling orange and red follow the water's current, along with a trail of brown muck as you scrub your breasts, hair, and cheeks. The sight of fish makes your stomach grumble. It's been far too long since you've had anything but squirrel and deer and berries, but this is not the time or place to ponder a way to catch one. The blue wash of early morning lightens with each second that passes. You wring out your hair, rewrap your wrist, and put your clothes back on before carefully climbing up the slope, satisfied enough with your icy bath.

"Ready," you announce, blowing a white breath into your hands and rubbing them together. Ghost crouches down so Blue can teeter onto his back. The backpack full of ammo hugs his front. He appears exceptionally bulky with all the baggage, and yet, he makes it look effortless.

Together, you head towards the infamous bridge, if one could call it that. Silvery fog makes it hard to see more than ten meters ahead of you, but Ghost seems to have the area memorized. Your hands ball up in your pockets, feeling empty and useless. With no bow, you have to rely on Ghost to get you back. It's a weird thing. Though, you suppose if there's anyone you'd want to be stuck out here with, it would be him. His presence alone offers more safety than the measly knife around your ankle.

"Ghost, we should go behind her," Blue says when you reach the beam.

He steps aside to allow you on first. "Try not to go for a swim this time."

A flush of pink bites your cheeks, though you blame it on the cold. It's hard to believe just four days ago you slipped off this thing. With his hands preoccupied, Ghost can't hold onto your shoulders like before, but he lingers close behind and repeatedly orders you to keep your eyes on the bank. 

Once you're all across, a calm quiet settles, a vast contrast to how talkative Blue was the first time around. It makes you absentmindedly pick the skin around your nails. By the time you reach the road, you've looked behind your shoulder at least ten times, half-expecting to spot a burnt face hiding among the trees. Squirrels prattle by. A starling calls above your head. But no people. You force your eyes onward and take a deep breath.

"So, uh, would you rather get mauled by a bear," you break the silence, stepping over a stray tire, "—or be struck by lightning?"

It takes a second for Blue to respond. "Oh. That's a good one. Do I have a gun while the bear attacks me?"

"No. No weapons. Just you and the bear."

"Then lightning." She pats Ghost's shoulder. "Could you take a bear?"

"On a good day, maybe," he answers.

"What about you, Twix?"

"No," you instantly scoff, kicking at a rock. "A bear would rip me apart. I would choose lightning because it'd be quick."

"Okay, I have one," Blue quips. "Would you rather be ripped in half, or fall off a tall building?"

"Ripped in half by what?" Ghost asks, tilting his head back.

"It doesn't matter." You can hear the roll of her eyes.

"It does matter. Might change my answer."

"Fall off a building," you interject. "The way down would suck, but I bet you don't feel a thing once you hit the ground."

"But you'd look like a dead bug," says Blue.

"I don't care what I look like. I'll be dead."

Ghost clears his throat. "My turn, then."

"No! You have to pick one," she exclaims. 

"Building," he drawls. A shadow of movement passes to the right of you. You naturally flinch closer to them, but it's just a doe hunkering down tall weeds that reach out of the concrete. A chuff of breath leaves your lips as you look away, only to find Ghost staring at you. For a few seconds, his eyes flicker between you and the deer before he goes back to focusing straight ahead. 

"Would you rather," he begins, "—chop off all your fingers, or take out your own eyes?"

"What do I use to take out my eyes?" Blue asks.

"Knife."

"I guess my eyes," she winces. "I mean, I'd rather get rid of two things than ten."

They both glance at you expectantly. A frigid gust of northern air takes hold of your hair, so you tuck the unruly strands behind your ears. "Uh, fingers," you decide after a moment. "I could probably live without them."

In the village, the air stinks enough for Ghost to come to a halt. Before, he was able to pass right through. This time, a group of fourteen or fifteen Greys seems to be trapped on the main street between a crumbled wall and a fallen telephone pole. He has to decide between expending ammo or time. It's not long before he nods to a small building and the three of you scale the rusted fire escape. From the safe distance of the roof, he takes out the Greys one by one with an accuracy that barely leaves a dent in the ample stockpile of cartridges. With the route cleared, he's saved at least an hour or two of precious daylight. 

The fog lifts. The ambery sun tries to peek through the clouds, but the sky is bent on staying grey. By the time you are back, your blisters have blisters. Blue has fallen asleep, cheek smushed against the back of Ghost's neck. Relief, thick and palpable, tastes sweet on your tongue. The fence, the rabbit hutch, the much-cozier cabin; none of it is home to you, but still, it calls your name in a welcoming coo. 

You have to aim Ghost's flashlight so he can unlock the gate. Blue stirs, but her eyes remain closed even when he pushes inside the cabin. It's shrouded in darkness. You prop the flashlight on the table as his boots scuffle against the floor.

He puts her to bed. As he does, you feel around for the sofa and nearly choke when your worn fingertips graze shabby fabric. Not icy water or solid wood or muddy ground, but something soft. You're about to sink into it, your bones desperate for the springy cushions, when he returns to the threshold of the hallway with an ugly, flannel sheet in his hands. 

"Here."

It's hard to be certain if you thank him or not; your brain conjures up the words, but your voice doesn't seem to function quite right. One thing is certain: you accept the sheet, tuck it on with urgency, and then lay down, burying your face in the crook of the pillow and arm. You kick off your boots and let the darkness take you, swift and heavy. It could be a coma or death disguised as sleep, and you figure you'd still slip into it without fuss. 

Those first days back are quiet. Blissfully uneventful. You sleep and sleep. In fact, you don't move from the couch except to relieve yourself and eat a little. Ghost and Blue don't seem to do much, either. Or maybe you just don't notice.

At one point, you wake up to a small stack of shirts beside the couch. All black. One long sleeve, the rest short. You change into one and continue sleeping. 

At another point, Blue hovers above you with a whisper that draws out a groan from you. "Hey. Ghost is making me skin some rabbits. Apparently, it's the only chore I can't get out of. Do you want to help me?"

"I think I'm good." You stuff the pillow over your face to make your point. 

"You've been sleeping for three days, you know."

"I could go for another three."

She takes the hint and staggers away. Walking now. You hear her right leg drag a little.

The sleep is good until it's not.

On the fifth night, you're no longer fatigued enough to keep the dreams squandered. They start as whispers. Hoarse and gritty. Then they get louder and louder, shouting your name until they are so loud it feels like someone is screaming in your ear. Different voices blend into an indecipherable cacophony. One screams in pain; another in anger. You feel someone's cold fingers take hold of your neck and are finally pried awake, flying up against the couch with fiery pants burning through your lungs. But all that's there is a dark room.

Sweat clings to every inch of you. It feels like everything is on fire, and all you want to do is cool down. You haven't bathed since the river. Catching your breath, you swing your legs down and quietly pad to the bathroom where you hope a little water is left. Luckily, in the glint of moonlight, you find a bucket used for washing hands and scoop some to your face. Then, you comb it through your sweat-laced hair. 

You unwrap your wrist and brush your fingers over the bite. You dab some water on it. You can't see well, but you feel the constellation of congealed scabs beneath your fingertips. Scars. Wounds. Your nostrils flare as a you wonder if one day you'll be so covered in them you won't even look like yourself. It's a good thing there is not enough light to spot the reflection of your face in the mirror, because you're not thrilled to greet the one now on your brow.

On your way out of the bathroom, something solid and immobile blocks your path. You startle backward, sucking in air as you peer up at a masked face. Ghost. It's Ghost. You haven't spoken to him since getting back, and in this moment, you long for the ability to push past him, but his wide shoulders consume the narrow hall. 

It's silly to think you can avoid him when you sleep in the same space now. The thing is— you have no idea what to think of him. Before, it was easy to settle on fear of how easily he could snap your neck, and annoyance for how he treated you. And then, when forced to, you could engage in a pragmatic conversation about how to keep yourselves alive.

But now, you don't know what you are supposed to feel around him, and you have spent zero time reflecting on it so far.

"Sorry. I was just, uh, washing my face."

"In the middle of the night?" he rasps, tilting his gaze down.

You teeter back a step, keeping a healthy bubble of space between your bodies. You're not sure why he hasn't just moved out of the way, or what he would be up and about for at this hour, but briefly, you wonder if he is suspicious of you. If after everything you went through, he still thinks you're trying to do something and might send you back to the shed. The three of you relieve yourself outside the cabin since the plumbing doesn't work, so it certainly does seem odd that you'd be in the bathroom during the night. 

"I was sweating a lot." Inwardly, you curse at yourself. "I mean, I haven't bathed since we got back, and I..." You trail off in a whisper.

"And you what?"

"I don't know." You fiddle with the hem of the oversized shirt he gave you. "I'm not trying to kill you or your daughter in your sleep, though, if that's what you're thinking."

He simply stares at you. It feels like he can see right through you, and your eyes drop to your wool socks. Then, he murmurs, “I wasn't thinking that."

"Okay," you reply carefully. "Could you... please move, then?"

Finally, he steps out of the way, but you feel the burn of his eyes on your skin as you brush past him. 

"Twix."

You pause, looking back. "Yes?"

A shake of his head. And then: "Take a proper bath tomorrow. You could use it.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Will do." 

With that, you crawl back onto the couch.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

the past is best in the past - Quinn Hughes (CH 2)

Word Count - 1.8k

Summary - Quinn wants answers, but all Y/N wants is to hope that two weeks ago when Quinn stumbled back into her life it was some type of nightmare and not a reality.

Warnings - I honestly don't know if anything is specifically a trigger. very agusty

Author's Note: Please read Chapter one before you read this and thank you for reading. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Chapter 1

It’s been exactly two weeks, thirteen nights and one day since Quintin Jerome Hughes walked back into her life and every single night since she’s been praying that he stays away. It wasn’t his fault Y/N left the lake, or left Michigan, hell she left the country. She just found herself continuing to run until she felt far enough away that no one could find her. All she wanted to do was to be far away enough from her past that she could forget what happened. But she knew that since he laid eyes on her two weeks ago he was probably blaming himself for not finding her sooner in Vancouver. But what can Y/N say she became a master at hiding, to the point of almost forgetting she was even in the same city as Quinn until she heard him call her by Y/N/N that night. 

Trying to shake her mind from her thoughts, Y/N tried focusing on getting ready for another shift at the bar. She already showered, but now she found herself lost in her own mind again standing in front of her closet. Her mind replaying past memories that brought a chill down her spine and her breath quickened rather than picking out her clothes. Her mind finally being pulled away from her thoughts when she heard her phone ring, frowning her eyebrows she went to her bathroom vanity where she left it to make sure that it wasn’t the bar trying to call her into work early. Immediately she felt her skin get hot, the hairs on her arms stand up in shock, her heart slightly drop to her stomach as if she was a rollercoaster, as she read the contact Jack Hughes on the caller ID, which only meant one thing Quinn told him Y/N was in Vancouver and that’s one step closer to people from back home - Michigan not home, home was Vancouver and has been for years - from finding out where she was, her breath quickening at the thought of having to leave Vann and start over again. The idea made her stomach tighten in nerves as she pressed the green button and held her phone to her ear. 

“Hey J” she squeaks, her eyes flinching closed waiting for the impact of his screams she knew were coming. 

“Y/N?” He sounds relieved that she answered him on the first try, a strong contrast to how she expected he would react when she answered the call. “Why didn’t you tell me?” his voice soft on the phone, it sounded almost weak, sad, the opposite of his normal cheerful light tone. 

“You know why.” simply stating, hoping that he understands her underline meaning at her words without her needing to be blunt. 

“That’s not a good enough reason and you know it. Quinn loved you, no fuck that, Quinn loves you Y/N!” Jack makes sure to put an emphasis on the word love. There it is, the anger she was waiting for, taking a deep breath and sitting on the edge of her small bed suddenly having an overwhelming feeling of needing to sit and giving up on finishing getting ready for work. 

“You know I had to leave, and you know he had to stay.” her voice breaking as the tears threaten to spill from her already tired eyes. 

“I know.” his voice softer than it was a few moments ago. “But I also know you never told me the whole story as to why you left the way you did. And for a long time I respected that but you also never told Quinn and that was fucked up. You didn’t see his face that day after you left…. I've never seen him look like that and I hope I never do again.He deserves to know why you left, the real reason, not some bullshit excuse, and he deserves to know why you hid from him for almost 7 years.” Jack lets out a sigh almost like he's tired of this conversation, or maybe he’s bored, or maybe he knows that the person he was talking to was one of the only people more stubborn than any of the Hughes brothers were, and despite his words she was going to do what she wanted. 

“Jacky?” she asks in a soft voice, almost sounding like she's underwear because she’s focusing so hard on not breaking down. As if she was testing if Jack was even still on the phone since all that could be heard was static for the last few minutes. After another moment of silence she decides whether he was on the phone or not. She couldn’t wait another minute without word vomiting her next question.  “Is he mad at me? What if he hates me?” her voice cracking like glass shattering on a piece of concrete. Softly admitting for the first time in her entire life a confession she has kept close to her chest for years. “I would hate myself if I was him.” Covering her mouth trying to not let Jack hear how upset she truly is at the idea that Quinn might hate her. 

“No Y/N/N. He could never hate you even if he wanted to. I think-” Sighing deeply again into the phone before he continued “I don’t know I’m not him, but I know he doesn’t hate you. And I know you say that you would hate him if the roles were reversed, but I know that’s a lie you're telling yourself to try and protect your heart. Both of you are just… hurt from the past, neither of you really moved on. I don’t know what he’s thinking besides being shocked, but I know he could never hate you Y/N. And I also know that there is no way he could stay away from you now that he knows where you work.” 

“I know” she whispers, finally admitting out loud what she has known since she saw the dark haired curly boy two weeks ago. Quinn Hughes was not going to leave Y/N alone nor disappear again whether she wanted to run or not. By the end of his speech Jack is actually chuckling on the phone. 

“What?” she asks, her voice light for the first time that night. 

“I just wish I could have seen his face seeing you in the bar.” Fully laughing now. Rolling your eyes at Jack’s words. 

“Goodbye Jack.” Y/N waits until she hears Jack bid his goodbye before hanging up and deciding it was time to finish getting ready for her shift. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone with Jack earlier clouded Y/N’s mind whether it was conscious or not. She found herself glancing at the door every few moments, staring at the brunette boy she thought was Quinn a little too hard until he turned around and it was just a stranger. As she tried to push her anxious thoughts down as her stomach twisted in anticipation, Jack’s words from early ringing in her ears. 

There is no way he could stay away from you now that he knows where you work

Stay away from you…

Knows where you work 

It was only a matter of time before he showed up at Y/N’s work. But somehow she still gasped in shock when hours later she turned around and found Quinn sitting in the same bar stool he did two weeks ago. Now finally able to examine his features more than the last time he was sitting in that bar, he had a pretty decent beard on his face, his jaw tight and sharp, the bags under his eyes a little more prominent and darker than all those years ago. He looked older, wiser, he looked like a man and she felt her stomach sink at the realization of how much time has truly passed between them. Quinn turns his head, feeling someone's eyes on him. He has a soft smile on his face when he realizes it’s Y/N’s and she feels her stomach sinking suddenly she feels seventeen again with his gaze on her. Back when life was anything but simple but at least she had Quinn still. 

Y/N doesn’t know if it’s the magnetic pull she has always had when it came to Quinn but she finds herself excusing herself from her coworkers most recent story of her last hinge date fail. Finding herself walking towards the other side where Quinn was sitting neither of them were willing to break eye-contact as if they had a fear that if they did the other would disappear. 

Finally finding herself standing in front of the man who she used to know better than herself. Y/N sucks a breath in as she speaks, “Quinn.” coming out almost like a warning. “What do you want from me?” Her voice sounded annoyed but her eyes showed nothing but a softness for the man in front of her, as if he could never do anything wrong, even if he was showing up uninvited to her place of work. 

“We need to talk.” His words were heavy but his voice sounded unsteady as he stumbled the words out. “Why did you leave? Why are here?” he pleads, bringing his hands to rest on the bar. 

“We can’t talk here.” her voice was lighter than before, almost a whisper as if she didn’t want anyone to hear them, especially her noisy coworkers. 

“I know.” he states as if he was expecting that answer. “I can wait.” 

“It’s barely 9 and I don’t get off till 2 am.” she sheepishly admits, hoping that Quinn can’t notice the light blush forming on her neck. 

“That’s fine. I’ll wait, Y/N. Always.” Nodding at her words.

“You can’t just sit here and not order anything.” leaning in as her teeth started to grind together at Quinn’s actions, forgetting how the oldest boy could always push back. 

“I know. I’ll have ginger ale.” Slightly moving in his seat to grab his credit card out of his wallet. 

“No miller?” she can’t help herself from asking curious about the boy's actions. 

“I wanna be sober when we talk and 2 am is a long time away.” he states. Nodding at his words she swiftly starts his tab and gets him a ginger ale. But unlike Quinn who can’t wait for it to be the end of the night so they can talk, she is hoping time freezes. Because although you can cut the tension in the shitty lite bar with a knife, she knows when they do sit down and talk it will be worse, because she will have to tell the boy she was in love why even though it may have seemed like a selfish thing to leave how she did, all she was trying to do was protect him from herself. Protect him from her own inner demons, her own mind who liked to play tricks on her, because Quinn Hughes has always been destined to do bigger and better things then hold her like he did that night.

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 4

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, also toxic!ellie kind of, mentions of marijuana, sexual speech and content, brief mention of straight girls experimenting with lesbianism, toxic family relationships, lesbian situationship, descriptions and mentions of death & grieving, depressive episodes, cheating if you squint but it's more betrayal than cheating really?, bad driving for like two seconds, description and mention of vomit, minors do not interact

word count: 7k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

Freshman Year, Early Spring

“Are you coming to Jess and Els’ later tonight?” Dina asked, snuggling your pink stuffed bear and laying upside down at the head of your bed with her legs outstretched to the ceiling. 

“Hmm?” You said, distracted. You were rummaging in your messy drawers, trying to find the other pair of a sock you were currently holding in your hand. 

“Ellie said she wants to do a post-midterm celebration with a movie night, which just means we’re gonna watch some lame old sci-fi movie that she and Jesse picked out.” 

“Maybe,” You said, tossing the sock into the other contents of the drawer, giving up. “Can’t stay too late, though. Raf is picking me up really early in the morning tomorrow.” 

“Ooh, can I finally meet The Hottie Cousin Rafael in person?” Dina said, dropping her legs and turning onto her belly to face you. 

You rolled your eyes and said, “You have Jesse, Dina.” 

She shrugged and said, “I bet Hottie Cousin Rafael wouldn’t make me watch lame movies all the time.” 

“Raf is far nerdier than Jesse is, I promise.” 

“If he’s as hot as he looks on FaceTime, his hotness will cancel out the nerdiness.” 

You scrunched up your nose in disgust at Dina’s thirsting after your de facto older brother. 

“I’m not the best judge, but Jesse’s not not hot.” 

Dina laughed. 

“I’m telling El you said that.” 

Your cheeks flushed as you said, “She’ll just say the same thing!” 

“All men are basically ugly in Ellie’s eyes. She’ll say, ‘Jesse’s the uglier version of a walker from The Walking Dead’ or some shit like that.” 

You giggled, knowing that was probably true. 

“Do you have to leave early for spring break?” Dina whined. 

You gave her a sad smile. 

“Sorry, D. You know how my mother is.” 

Dina groaned and, pointing to the plushie she was holding, said, “Barbie Bear, when will you come to life at night Toy Story-style and finally horrifically murder this awful lady?” 

“Dina!” You exclaimed, grabbing your pink bear from her. “Don’t you corrupt Barbie Bear! She is an innocent soul!” 

“Oh, she’s been corrupted already,” Dina said, snatching Barbie Bear back. “I’m sure she’s been a witness to the deplorable things you and Ellie have gotten up to in here.” 

“Dina!” You squealed once more, blushing furiously and hiding your face behind your hands. “She and I have not!” 

“Oh please,” Dina rolled her eyes. “Ellie comes back to her and Jesse’s place the morning after spending the night here with the same cocky ass look that Jesse has after we fuck.” 

“Oh my god—” 

Dina cackled and you giggled nervously. 

“So are you two officially together now or—?” 

“Who, me and Ellie?” You asked. 

“No, you and Jesse.” Dina said sarcastically, throwing Barbie Bear at you. 

You caught the bear at the last second, laughing as you climbed onto your bed with her and handed the plushie back to her. 

“Shut up!” You giggled. “But, umm. I’m not really sure what we are, if I’m being honest.” 

Dina groaned and said, “Ugh, you’re both useless!” 

“I’ve only had one real girlfriend before!” 

“So has Ellie!” 

“Then ask her instead!” 

“Oh, I have.” Dina said, raising her eyebrows. 

You perked up suddenly. 

“Wait, what did she say?” 

“Oh my god, can you two just have the talk already?!” Dina groaned, exasperated at her friends’ incompetence. 

You blushed harder than ever. 

“I just… I just don’t know if she feels the same way I do.” 

Dina rolled her eyes. 

“You’re the first person she texts every morning, and mind you, Ellie hates texting. She will spend an hour in that stupid Jeep of hers in the parking lot outside until you get home from class just to hang out with you. Three of her five hoodies are somewhere here in your room right now. Tara told me that you’ve sexiled her at least twice already.” 

“We have not!” 

“Honey, she literally spent two separate nights at mine and Astrid’s because you and Ellie were over here—” 

Dina made a circle with her right thumb and pointer finger and repeatedly inserted her left pointer in it. 

“OH MY GOD—” You screamed into a pillow. 

Dina was over the moon teasing you as you grabbed your blanket and hid underneath it. 

“I need to offer to do her laundry for two weeks or something,” You said, your voice muffled from beneath the covers. “I’m the worst roommate ever.” 

Dina chuckled, saying, “Don’t worry, she likes you and Ellie together. Just maybe shoot her a warning text before you two wanna scissor, or whatever you lesbians do.” 

“Oh please, like you and Ellie never did anything together.” You said, emerging from underneath your blanket. 

“Okay, first of all,” Dina said, putting up one finger. “Ellie and I kissed once at our sophomore homecoming dance, and that was just to make Jesse jealous.” 

You chuckled. 

Dina put up a second finger. 

“Two, it was like kissing a cousin, so that obviously resulted in zero sexual scenarios whatsoever from that point on. I have never once been compelled to call Ellie ‘daddy’ ever in my life.” 

You screamed into your pillow once more at this. 

Dina put both fingers down and put her middle finger up. 

“And three, I have had gay sex with women before, but they were both also bisexual and there was no scissoring involved!” 

You were laughing uncontrollably now with Dina attacking you with Barbie Bear. 

“Okay, okay!” You giggled, attempting to shield yourself. “Why are we talking about scissoring again?” 

“Because!” 

One hit from Barbie Bear. 

“You are avoiding!” 

Another hit from Barbie Bear. 

“My questions!” 

A third hit from Barbie Bear. 

“About you!” 

An additional hit from Barbie Bear. 

“And Ellie!” 

A final hit from Barbie Bear that landed on your face. 

You snatched your stuffed animal away from Dina before she could swing it once more, pulling it away from her reach. 

“Okay, no more abusing me with Barbie Bear!” You said.

She chuckled. 

“And…” You started, serious now. “I’ve never experienced this before. I’ve had one real girlfriend, which was a high school disaster.” 

You sighed. 

“I briefly saw that one girl Adriana at the beginning of the year before we both realized she was just a rebound to my ex. I’ve hooked up with a few other girls since, and I was even Rebecca’s first lesbian college experiment kiss before she realized she was just straight.” 

Dina was sitting straight up now, staring at you intently and listening attentively. You pulled Barbie Bear into your chest. 

“Ellie is… she feels different. Something in my heart just yearns for her. She makes me feel like I must have done something so great in a past life that her just being in my life is the reward. She makes me feel forgiven and understood and—” 

You paused your Ellie sermon when you made eye contact with Dina, who was looking at you with a soft expression. 

“Sorry!” You threw your hands up apologetically and proceeded to cover your face with them in embarrassment. “I sound like a 12-year-old experiencing their first real crush!” 

Dina chuckled and pulled your hands away from your face. 

“No, you don’t. You sound like someone who Ellie deserves to have in her life, someone who sees her fully and appreciates all the good and bad. She’s gone through her own fair share of romantic and sexual bullshit too, and knowing that she now has you?” 

Dina placed an affectionate hand on your cheek. 

“I know that I don’t have to worry anymore.” 

“Dina, you’re gonna make me cry right now.” 

Dina leaned back into your pillows, laughing. 

“You started it!” 

“You sounded like you were giving away a bride!” 

“Wow, not even officially together yet, but somehow you’re already getting married.” 

You groaned and flopped onto your back. 

“I love her, Dina.” 

“No shit, babe.” 

After the talk you had with Dina, you both went over to Jesse and Ellie’s dorm room. Even though Jesse was a sophomore and Ellie a freshman, they were somehow able to convince the campus housing department to let them room together after both their roommates dropped out during the first month of classes. 

The “lame old sci-fi movie” that they’d picked out turned out to be Jurassic Park, which you’d already seen several times, courtesy of your nerdy older cousin Rafael. Dina was playfully criticizing every little bit of the movie to tease Jesse, who was taking her critiques to heart. As the couple were lovingly bickering with each other on the floor, you and Ellie sat on her bed underneath a blanket. 

You leaned against her shoulder while she was tracing patterns on the palm of your hand. Though she was concentrated on the movie, she would habitually give you a kiss on top of your head, sometimes following with her nose nuzzling your hair. She’d not said she loved you so far, but gestures like this felt like her way of saying it. You felt warm and content and the happiest you’ve ever been in your life. 

After Jesse convinced the rest of you to watch the movie’s sequel (as punishment to Dina for talking through the first), you’d made up your mind to change your spring break plans. 

You were still planning on returning home for the break, but since Ellie, Dina, and Jesse were spending the weekend on campus and not returning to their hometown until Monday, you resolved to at least spend more time with them. You knew that two weeks of spring break didn’t seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things. But the thought of being away from your friends whom you loved so deeply, but especially from Ellie, hurt far more than it did when you left home for college in the first place. 

And after your talk with Dina earlier that day, you’d also decided to be honest with Ellie about your feelings for her before you briefly went your separate ways. You knew that maybe it wasn’t the greatest timing to profess your love for the girl of your dreams right before zero physical contact for fourteen days. But Dina helped you further realize the affection you had for Ellie, and you knew you couldn’t go home without letting her know. You also figured that if all went wrong, you could always use the two weeks to save face before returning to campus. 

During the scene with Jeff Goldblum and Julianne Moore’s characters are hiding in a trailer from the T-Rex parents, you texted your cousin Rafael. 

A minute or two passed before he responded. 

You reply immediately. 

Three text bubbles loaded for a second before two texts appeared. 

You felt your cheeks burn. 

You could almost feel your cousin chuckling through text.

You breathed a sigh of relief and gratitude.

You smiled, your heart full and thankful for your favourite cousin. 

Jesse whooped and Dina squealed as she pulled you into a tight hug when you told them you were leaving in two days instead of the next morning. Ellie didn’t say much in the moment, but you felt a glow of happiness radiating from her at the news. When your friends had settled down and continued the movie, Ellie pulled you closer to her and wrapped her arms around you. You leaned into her embrace as she silently decorated your neck with kisses, resolving to call your mother tomorrow morning to break the news. 

You never made that call.

You awoke to your phone buzzing angrily underneath your pillow. Discombobulated, you didn’t fully perceive your surroundings. You’d fallen asleep on Ellie’s bed, still wrapped in her arms. Jesse and Dina had eventually migrated at some point in the night to Jesse’s bed and were sound asleep. You saw that Ellie had plugged your phone into her charger after you’d fallen asleep. Stroking her hair lightly as she slept, you looked at your phone to see it was your mother calling. 

Before accepting the call, you’d seen that you had 7 missed calls and 4 voicemails. You groaned. Was your mother really that upset? 

You didn’t seem that alarmed until you saw that only 6 of those calls and 3 of those voicemails were from your mother. One of each was from your uncle, Rafael’s father. 

Why is Uncle calling me? Did she guilt him into guilting me to come home?

Sighing, you finally accepted your mother’s call. 

Ellie, Jesse, and Dina all awoke to you screaming. All three were at different levels of disorientation at first, but upon seeing your shrieking figure having fallen to the floor, they all rushed to your side. No one seemed sure what to do at first, other than trying to stand you up (to no avail) and ask what was wrong. It was Dina who snapped into sense first, noticing that you were still on a call with your mother. 

She picked up the phone, rushed through an introduction, and worryingly inquired what was happening. Ellie and Jesse watched as her mouth fell open and her eyes widened with shock. She listened to your mother for a minute or two before bringing the other two into the loop. 

Your cousin Rafael was killed in a hit-and-run that morning. Since he was no longer tasked to bring you home that day, he made impromptu plans with old college friends to meet up for an early morning coffee. He was crossing an intersection on the way to the café when a car decided to run a red light. He died on impact. 

Your spring break was consumed completely by black clothing, floral wreaths of white lilies and roses, and an overstocked fridge of homemade food that your family barely touched. You saw no happy faces, only red eyes and quivering lips. You were torn out of the blissful bubble of your college life into a waking, familial nightmare. 

Rafael was your first cousin and not your brother. But it was as if at birth, he claimed you as his sister and the rest was history. 

Everyone who knew either of you was aware of the sibling bond you’d shared. He was the most important person to you for the first 18 years of your life. More than your parents, more than any other family member, more than any of your friends. Saying that he was your best friend was an understatement. 

The two weeks back home with your family were a black haze. You remained locked up in your room for the majority of the time, and when your presence was required, you spoke only when spoken to. You alternated between fits of sobbing and near-comatose states. 

Your only comfort was your uncle, Rafael’s father. You never knew your parents to give genuine love and affection, so you grew up seeing your uncle as a parental figure. Even as he raised Rafael alone as a single father, he often took you under his wing and provided you with a place of home away from your parents’ house. 

Your parents, especially your mother, were preoccupied with putting on the show of a broken family to sympathizers. It was your uncle who made sure you continued to eat and drink every day. He was the one to give you the gentle push to leave your room for the funeral, knowing that you’d one day regret not going. He even spoke to your friends on the phone when you’d stopped responding. By the end of your spring break, Dina had his personal phone number so she could call twice a day for daily updates, which she would promptly share with Jesse and Ellie. 

Unlike your mother, your uncle placed no blame on you for his son’s death. He knew that the one true person to blame was the careless driver in the car that hit him. But your mother was a different story. 

In those last few days before you needed to return to campus, your mother enlightened you with her true feelings. 

She had decided your “selfishness” in inconveniencing your family was what decided Rafael’s fate. If he had been on his way to pick you up from college, he never would have been crossing that intersection. According to her, you’d placed insignificant people you’d known for less than a year over your own family. 

If you were a weaker person, you’d have crumbled under her accusations. She was quite skilled in twisting the truth to her point of view, and she was skilled even more so in making people believe the worst of themselves. But Rafael and your uncle raised you better. You may not have been the most secure person growing up, but they made you feel loved. 

Despite your mother’s malice, you were grateful for her outburst. It snapped you back into reality. Your fury at your mother reminded you that Rafael would not have wanted you to give in to her guilt. 

You knew that his death was not your fault. Of course you were still grieving, but you loved Rafael so much that you would not allow your mother to force you back into a state of living death. Your uncle made sure of this when he drove you back to campus. 

The few hours drive to your dorm, you and your uncle had the most intense and intimate conversation you’d ever had with him. You bawled, you even smiled and laughed a few times, and you talked about the future. It pained you to watch him drive away, the last real living connection you had left to Rafael. 

You may not have been the depressive zombie you were at the news of Rafael’s death, but you no longer lived blissfully in your college bubble. Still, your friends remained sympathetic and loving as you dealt with your grief. 

Ellie remained just as caring and affectionate, at least at first. She made sure to spend all her free time with you to make sure you weren’t left alone to spiral into your depressive thoughts. She didn’t try anything sexual with you and made sure to respect your mourning boundaries. She even set an alarm every week to make sure you were on time for your video therapy sessions (your uncle set you up with a therapist to make sure you remained stable). 

To the outside observer, your grieving process was progressing naturally and healthily. You barely missed class, you still saw your friends on a regular basis, you weren’t bursting out in tears (or so most of your friends thought). No one else felt the need to worry about you more than they had to. 

Except for Dina. 

Having lost her parents at a young age, it was mostly her and her older sister taking care of each other. Part of why she grew to be so close to Jesse was because his parents were family friends who helped them out when their parents passed. 

Dina has dealt with great familial loss before and she saw the signs of someone barely keeping it together. 

That’s why before your freshman year ended, Dina invited you to stay with her and her sister for the summer. 

Summer Before Sophomore Year: Jackson 

Calling your parents to let them know that you weren’t coming back home for most of the summer was a difficult conversation. Your mother threw a fit and your father chastised you for upsetting your mother. But with encouragement of your friends and your uncle (who promised you that he’d ship essentials from your parents’ house to Dina’s as soon as he could), you eagerly accompanied Dina, Jesse, and Ellie to their hometown of Jackson. 

After just a few days in the town, you understood why the trio have remained friends since childhood. The community in Jackson was small but very tight-knit. Everyone knew each other and it seemed unusual for people to leave. They treated each other like family, and you envied the comfy, homey feeling the town radiated. 

Dina’s sister Talia wasn’t around very often, consumed by her full-time job. You didn’t fully understand what she did for work, only that it had something to do with computers. The few times you were actually able to spend time with her, you enjoyed seeing the repertoire between her and her younger sister. Though ten years older than Dina, they treated each other like peers. You saw how Dina grew to be such an emotionally mature person. Talia accepted you with open arms, fulfilling the role of big sister the entire time you were there. 

On the third day of your stay, you finally met Joel. He was Ellie’s adoptive father who took in Ellie at a young age. Though they were not biologically related, you found yourself often chuckling over how similar the two were. 

Ellie’s foul-mouthed behaviour mirrored that of Joel’s, which was a welcome contrast to your parent’s curt and strict speech. He told stories of his past, many of which involved him getting into all sorts of trouble. Though he seemed to have grown out of it, you saw that impulsivity and temperament in Ellie today. 

He was a kind, old man, and you saw why Ellie admired him so. You also noticed just how much he loved Ellie as if he’d birthed her himself. You found yourself desiring the kind of parent Joel was. You had your uncle throughout your childhood, of course, but you still had to go home to the cruelty of your parents at the end of the day. 

Joel seemed to be aware that Ellie dealt back at your university. It was through him that Ellie actually knew her plug. This old pal of Joel’s, Eugene, was originally her (and Dina’s and Jesse’s) dealer back in high school. When they’d graduated and started attending university, Eugene introduced Ellie to an old contact who grew not far from campus once she started dealing. Joel would roll his eyes and scoff any time the topic of Ellie being a dealer came up, but he genuinely didn’t seem to mind as long as she was smart about it. 

On nights when Dina and Jesse were both busy, you found yourself spending the evening at Joel’s house. He was very keen on having you over for dinner often, complaining that Ellie was a very boring conversation partner. You bonded quickly over a number of things, such as your mutual love of coffee (to which Ellie rolled her eyes, claiming that a simple hot chocolate was far superior to that “burnt shit”) and being Ellie’s impulse control. 

About nearly a month into your stay, Dina was picking you up from another dinner at Joel’s and Ellie’s place to walk you back to her house. Both waved you goodbye at the front door (not before you gave Ellie a peck on the cheek) and watched as you and Dina linked arms and walked into the streetlight-lit darkness. 

Once you and Dina were out of their sight, Joel put his hand on Ellie’s shoulder. 

“Come on, kiddo. We need to talk.” 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, old man,” Ellie exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air and leaning into the living room couch. 

“Ellie.” 

“Joel.” Ellie said, mocking his serious tone. 

“That girl is so in love with you, and it’s plain to anyone who sees y’all together.” 

Ellie crossed her arms, saying nothing. 

“And it’s as clear as day that you’re head over heels for her too.” 

Ellie scoffed and said, “Don’t assume shit, old timer.” 

“I ain’t assuming anythin’. I know you, and so do Dina and Jesse.” 

“You’ve been talking to Dina and Jesse behind my back?” 

“Now, hold on there,” Joel said, taking a seat at the lounge chair next to the couch Ellie sat on. “They were just tellin’ me about what y’all get up to at that big university, and we just got to talkin’ about you. There weren’t no secret meetings or anythin’ conspirin’ like that.” 

“And what did those two have to say?” 

“That y’all have been basically joined to the hip since y’all met.” Joel said, leaning back. 

“That’s not true—” Ellie began angrily. 

“Look, kid, no need to be pitchin’ a hissy fit. I’m just relayin’ what those two have been observin’. But since y’all took her home, apparently you’ve been actin’ a tad different towards her.” 

“What does that mean?” 

Joel sighed. 

“Ellie, this girl was all you talked about nonstop that whole year you were up at that school. I already know the girl’s favourite colour and coffee order just from the phone calls we had.” 

“I did not talk about her that much.” 

“Yes, you did. There’s no point in denyin’ it.” 

Ellie glared. 

“Now, I wanna know why it seems like you’ve changed your tune on her.” 

“Really, ‘changed my tune?’ Man, you’re getting too old.” 

“Don’t go changin’ the subject. Now, I can see how you’re still clearly sweet on her, but there’s somethin’ a little off. Like you’re holdin’ back from her, or somethin’ like that.” 

“I’m just not a people person, Joel, and you know that.” 

“Doesn’t matter. Ellie,” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and looked directly at her. “Do you love her?” 

“Come on, man—” 

“Ellie.” 

Ellie met Joel’s eyes and saw that he was waiting for a truthful answer. She exhaled, took a beat, and responded. 

“I don’t love her.” 

Joel sighed sadly. 

“Thought I taught you better than that, kiddo.” 

She looked away, saying, “We’re not even dating.” 

“Does she know that?  

“She’s not stupid.”

“That’s not what I asked.” 

Ellie stood up, exasperated. 

“Why does any of this matter, Joel!” 

“Because that poor darlin’ just lost her own kin, so if you’re fixin’ to break her heart, you need to stop stringin’ her along.” 

“I’m not doing anything!” 

“I like this girl for you, Ellie. She’s got a kind soul that somehow blossomed past her upbringin’. She brings out the best in you, even if you try to hide it. She thinks the world of you, kid, bless her heart. Don’t do somethin’ you’ll regret.” 

“I haven’t done shit!” Ellie yelled, standing up from the couch. 

“Daggum it, stop actin’ childish and listen to what I’m sayin’ here, Ellie.” 

Ellie stormed out of the room without another word. 

After the conversation she had with Joel, Ellie began acting distant towards you. It started with the little things: keeping her hands in her pockets while you walked around town to avoid holding your outstretched hand, no longer inviting you over to dinner at Joel’s unless Dina or Jesse planned on coming along, no more public displays of affection and very limited tenderness in private. 

Dina was right in her assumption that you were barely holding it together. The anxiety as a result of Ellie’s behaviour, on top of your grief over your cousin’s death, began unraveling you. 

Your late-night talks with Dina became less and less. You began sitting next to her or Jesse more often than you did Ellie. Dina would walk in on you completely spaced out and it took several minutes to get a verbal response out of you. 

Dina and Jesse were sure that if you came back with them to Jackson, being around the presence of those who loved you as opposed to people who resented you would ease your grieving process. They didn’t, however, predict that Ellie become a hurdle to your progress. And they certainly did not predict Ellie’s idiotic actions that followed. 

“I thought we were having a movie night,” Jesse said, eyebrows furrowed. “I brought DVDs.” 

Ellie chuckled, saying, “You know there are these things called ‘streaming services’ now, Jess.” 

“Hypocrite. You and Joel have stacks of DVDs of every action and sci-fi movie ever made in your living room.” 

“What can I say, I’ve gotten with the times.” 

“Like hell you have.” 

You, Dina, and Jesse were all bunched up on the pull-out couch in Dina’s basement (where you were residing for the summer). Jesse was messing with the TV’s remote to find the right input while you and Dina were snuggled up underneath the same blanket. Your tired eyes watched as Ellie pulled her flannel on and rolled her sleeves up, revealing that fern tattoo you loved so much on her right forearm. 

“Who the fuck is more important than us, anyway?” Dina said, frowning. 

Ellie chuckled again, saying, “We hang out almost every day, D. You’ll survive the night.” 

“You’re not coming back after dinner?” 

“We’ll see, but don’t wait up.” 

Your eyes then fell down to your fingers, fiddling with a loose thread on the blanket. You haven’t spoken out loud once tonight since Ellie’d walked in. 

“You’re banned from our friend group now. You may reapply in 3-6 months.” Dina said, flipping Ellie off. 

“Literally one dinner, drama queen.” 

“Where are you even going?” 

“Rivers Café.” 

You didn’t notice how Jesse’s and Dina’s faces fell. 

“Gonna be late, so see you guys later.” Ellie said, walking up the stairs without a second glance. 

After a beat or two, Jesse spoke. 

“What the actual fuck.” 

“Jesse—“ Dina began. 

“I love her, but god damn it.” Jesse got up and started shuffling through the DVDs he brought. 

There was a palpable tension in the air for the rest of the night. An old martial arts movie was playing, but none of you were paying much attention. Nobody said anything, besides a comment every now and again from Dina noting how unrealistic some fighting move was. 

Ellie didn’t come back to Dina’s that night. 

Two weeks before classes started, your things were packed to return to your parents’ house. You didn’t want to leave, but you needed to properly prepare for the start of your junior year. 

Dina was watchful and clingy before you left, constantly letting you know that the first thing she was going to do when you all returned to campus was hunt you down for a coffee date. Jesse would chuckle at this, saying that he’d probably see you when she dragged him along to it. 

Dina’s sister Talia said goodbye to you three days before your departure, needing to leave for a brief business trip the day before. She pulled you into a very tight hug, telling you that you were always welcome in their home and to feel free to tag along with Dina during any school breaks. 

You had a last dinner at Joel’s the night before you left. He made you and Ellie a simple pasta dish, which you learned was his late daughter Sarah’s favourite meal. He and you shared a sweet and intimate conversation where you both opened up about your shared familial losses. He told you about Sarah and you talked about Rafael. You understood why Joel was so protective over Ellie, having lost Sarah when she was only 12. You were happy that Ellie had someone like that in her life. 

Surprisingly, Ellie had offered to drive you home. You were starved for her attention, so you happily accepted. You offered for her to stay in your parents’ guest room for a night so she wouldn’t have to do so much driving in one day, but she said she didn’t mind. You felt disappointed, but you also didn’t want to subject her to your parents more than you had to. 

Dina and Jesse were the ones who waved you off (Joel sent his regards with Ellie when she came to Dina’s place to pick you up). You reassured them both that two weeks was not a very long time, though you were partly saying it out loud to convince yourself of it too. Your hand was the last thing they saw, waving from the passenger’s window of Ellie’s car. 

As you drove away from the gates of Jackson, there was not much noise except an Aminé song playing in the background and the occasional bird call heard outside from the rolled-down windows. 

There was a heaviness in your heart that weighed more and more the further from Jackson you were. Though you didn’t grow up there, the locals were so naturally welcoming. Being there felt like coming home every day. It was a safe and healthy place for you to process your grief. You wished summer went on forever. 

After a little while of silence between you and Ellie during which you lamented on your departure, you began to feel the awkwardness between you two. She hadn’t said anything and it didn’t seem like she had any intention to. You shrunk in your seat and began fidgeting and braced yourself to say something. 

“Um,” You started. “Thanks for offering to drive me back.” 

“No big deal,” Ellie replied. “Happy to do it.” 

You could feel your heart beating in your ears. 

“Why’d you decide to?” 

Ellie shrugged. “Just wanted to be a good friend.” 

You winced. 

“Is… is that what we are, El? Just friends?” You asked meekly. 

“I mean, yeah. Of course.” 

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. 

Is this how she really feels? Has this how she’s felt the whole year we’ve been doing all this? Have I just been reading into all this wrong? 

You attempted to suppress a bubbling anxiety attack, trying not to hyperventilate. Ellie seemed to be content with the silence and said nothing. 

Trying to distract yourself, you whipped out your phone to text Dina. 

She replied almost immediately. 

After a few seconds, another text from her popped up. 

You chuckled silently, replying: 

Ellie noticed the sudden sound, saying, “What are you laughing about?” 

“Just Jesse.” You said. 

“Ahh” was all she said in reply. 

You refused to look her way, feeling like seeing her disinterested face would make you feel worse than you already were. 

You texted Dina, saying: 

Three text bubbles appeared before her texts popped up. 

You gulped, even more anxious than before.

You tried to ignore the nagging feeling that there was something else going on, something you weren’t privy to. You and Ellie were inseparable most of freshman year, even before you were explicitly doing things that regular friends didn’t do. 

What’s changed? 

Sometime during your internal struggle, you’d drifted off to sleep. You woke up groggy and disoriented, taking a moment to realize you were still in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep. The sun was further west than before. You glanced at the clock on the dashboard. 

“How much further do we have?” You asked, voice raspy. 

“About an hour or so.” 

“Oh.” 

You’d been asleep for longer than you thought. Feeling guilty, you wiped some drool off your chin and yawned quietly. 

“I’m sorry for passing out on you.” 

“All good.” Ellie said. 

“Did I snore?” 

Ellie shrugged and you stopped yourself from letting out an incredibly audible and frustrated sigh. 

Five or ten minutes passed during which you were wrestling with yourself on making use of the rest of the time to confront Ellie. In the end, you decided that two weeks of this anxiety eating at you was not worth it. 

“Els?” 

She didn’t seem to hear you. 

You cleared your throat and said a little louder, “Ellie.” 

“What’s up?” She said, dryly. 

You took a deep breath. 

“What’s been going on?” You asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

You bit the inside of your lip. 

“I mean…” You began. “You haven’t been yourself lately.” 

“I don’t really know what you’re talking about.” 

“Ellie, come on. You’ve been… different.” 

She didn’t answer. 

“Jesse and Dina both agree with me.” 

Her eyebrows furrowed. 

“I don’t really appreciate people talking about me behind my back.” 

“We’re not!” You exclaimed. “We’ve just been wondering why you’re so distant lately.” 

“Just cause I’m not much of a talker doesn’t mean I’ve been distant.” 

You used to talk all the time with me. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Ellie. You don’t seem to like hanging out with us, and you cancel on us half the time. You don’t tell us what you’ve been up to or where you’ve been.” 

You gulped. 

“Like that movie night at Dina’s place. You agreed to come over for a sleepover, and you came for five minutes then bailed on us and didn’t even tell us where you were going.” 

“Yes, I did!” 

“Not ‘til the very end! You didn’t even tell us who you were seeing!” 

“Why does that even matter?” 

“It’s not that, Ellie! It’s just that you’ve been elusive and secretive, and I don’t like it!” 

“Well, that’s not really my problem, is it?” 

Her words pierced your heart and it took everything you had to keep going and not break down. 

Is that what I’ve become now? Your problem, Ellie? 

“I guess not.” You said quietly. 

A few minutes of silence passed. You were fidgeting in your seat once more while Ellie seemed completely disinterested in further conversation. 

But you refused to go back with all this unresolved. 

“Who did you see?” You asked suddenly. 

“Excuse me?” 

“At that café. Who did you go see?” 

“Why do you care?” Ellie scoffed. 

“Why won’t you answer?” 

Ellie rolled her eyes. 

“It was just an old friend, okay? Jesus,” She said, irritated. “I have other friends besides Jesse and Dina.” 

“Who was it, Ellie?” 

“Her name is Cat! God, enough with the questions.” 

You froze for a moment until you finally murmured, “Cat, your ex-girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“You guess?” 

“What the fuck do you want from me, dude?” Ellie cried, coming to a stop at a red light a little rougher than needed. 

You blinked. 

“What?” You asked quietly. 

“What?” Ellie repeated, angrily. 

“Why did you call me that? You never… You always—” 

You always call me “babe.” Or “baby.” I thought I was your baby. 

“Whatever,” You said, shaking your head. “I just don’t know why you’d see her. I thought you hadn’t kept in contact with her since high school.” 

“We reconnected over the summer,” Ellie huffed, slowly putting her foot down on the accelerator. “Didn’t realize that was a fucking crime.” 

Your mouth quivered as silent, betraying tears began to fall. 

“Am I a joke to you, Ellie?” You whispered. 

“What?” 

“Am I a FUCKING joke to you?” You shouted. 

Ellie froze, almost swerving. She’d never heard you raise your voice this way. 

“I thought… I thought I meant more to you. I thought that we had something. What the fuck did I do wrong? What did I do?” 

Your right hand was wiping tears away while your left was clutching your stomach tightly. You felt like you needed to hurl. 

“You don’t look at me anymore. You don’t touch me. Why did you start talking to her again? Why wouldn’t you talk to me? Was I not fucking enough?” 

There was a pause before Ellie spoke. 

“You’re not my girlfriend. I have no obligation to you.” 

You felt as if the world disappeared from underneath you and you were falling. You were no longer in the passenger seat of Ellie’s car. No, you were plunging into a dark abyss, the same one that your friends had saved you from falling into when Rafael died. But here you were anyway. And it was Ellie who pushed you in. 

Before you knew it, Ellie had pulled up to the curb of your house. The sound of her engine turning off snapped you back into reality briefly. As you unbuckled yourself, you realized that on top of a plain black tank, you were wearing an unbuttoned flannel shirt that Ellie’d lent you. You tore it off and threw it to the floor. 

Before Ellie could even move, you were out of the car and pulling your bags out of Ellie’s backseat. By the time Ellie unbuckled herself and got out of the driver seat, you had all your bags in hand and ready to trudge up your parents’ driveway. 

You felt you probably looked ridiculous: tears and snot running down your face while you struggled with several heavy bags. But you didn’t care. You needed a wall between you and Ellie immediately. 

“Look—” Ellie started, taking a few steps. 

You dropped your bags and started towards her. 

“Fuck you, Ellie Williams.” You spat. 

“Fuck you for lying to me. Fuck you for leading me on. Fuck you for letting me fall in love with you. Fuck you for breaking my heart.” 

Ellie stopped in her tracks. 

“You... you—” She began, but her voice caught. 

By the time she found her voice again, you had already picked your bags up and hauled them to the front porch, keys already in your hand to unlock the door. She almost called your name out and yelled for you to wait, but you had thrown your bags through the threshold so quickly and disappeared almost immediately after them. 

Ellie jumped at the sound of the front door slamming. 

The second you had closed the door behind you, you leaned into one of your mother’s decorative urns and vomited.

author's notes:

is barbie bear based on an actual stuffed bear i own and is named barbie and is that a picture of her in the icon at the beginning of the fic? no

i was SO so nervous to post this omg, cause not only is this a long ass chapter, but i wanted to make sure to give proper explanation to present day events. i hope i did it justice! lmk what y'all think!!

writing a flashback chapter was so fun?? might do at least another one at some point

also i meant to mention this in a previous chapter, but reader's cousin rafael is actually based on an older cousin of mine (who has the same name but we all call him by a nickname) who actually has a similar-ish relationship with me as reader does with her cousin (he and i are only a year apart tho and reader & her rafael are several years apart), but dw my cousin is still alive sdklfjslsldkfj

btw pls notice that rivers cafe is an actual place in the games hehe (so was ruston coffee in the last chapter)

oh also if you have ever been sexiled before, i am so sorry and you will see heaven as reparations (i on the other hand will not as i have been a sexiler myself oops)

taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, @valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn, @uraesthete, @softbunlvr, @cherriessxinthespring, @amitycat, @chrissyfishywissy, @yevheniiaaa

[ophiespeaks]

i am, once again, crawling back to gravity falls. i’ve stayed out of the loop so i could explore thisisnotawebsitedotcom by myself, and here are some of my authentic discoveries: (I don’t know if any of these are even new, knowing the fandom you probably figured all of these out the day it dropped tbh)

-“SOOS” gives a document of how he and his gf are doing running the mystery shack, including a goat train that runs through the forest (i love them)

-“TADSTRANGE” gives an erotic bread montage, because why not

-“PINATA” gives an irl video narrated by bill of a little girl beating the shit out of a bill cipher pinata

-“EVENHISLIESARELIES” i was spoonfed this one but bill is astronomically down bad for ford and it’s literally canon??? “because winning made him feel special. and good god, did he want to feel special” bill cipher your gay is showing.

-“WADDLES” leads to a pig adoption website

-“SEASONTHREE” says season 2, “SEASONTWO” says season 1, and “SEASONONE” says season -1: anti-gravity falls.

-“PACIFICA” tells us that the northwests still keep tapestries of bill, perhaps they could/would have something to do with his return??? pacifica and a ���friend” destroyed everything with bill’s triangle symbol on it though, she’s a real one.

-“PLATINUMPAZ” is a code you’re given discreetly upon entering the aforementioned “PACIFICA.” This document is written like fan fiction, but obviously it’s canon, and details pacifica’s experience following northwest mansion mystery. It’s a longer document but essentially pacifica SIKES bill cipher like the girlboss she is when he tries to make a dream deal with her.

-“PINES” just says “a good family tree” lmao

-“SIXER” case file on Ford’s hand, written by (?) someone in the us government, apparently even as far back as when the Stans were 18, the government was working on cloning, so there’s that. Also, Ford is a finger donor!

-“BLINDEYE” gives one of those eye doctor letter tests, VERY blurry. if there’s a code here my blind ass hasn’t been able to decipher it. EDIT: it’s not blurry when you first try it!!! if you click on it it becomes blurry and i no longer know what the letters are.

-“MATPAT” and “GAMETHEORY” matthew patrick i am in your walls. it’s a video of beloved internet dad, Matpat from the Theory channels, saying we’re on our own for this one. Mathew if you don’t make a retirement special when this is all over, spoon-feeding me the answers i will do something illegal. Also, one of the notes on his board seems to read “abigail northwest,” but it’s not a code you can enter, so i’m not sure what it means.

-“GRAVITYFALLS” says ‘never heard of it’, alex hirsch when i catch you alex hirsch

-“MABEL” adds stickers and stars to the screen, eventually saying ‘lab now fully mabelized’ they stay there forever even if you relog the website.

-“DIPPER” tells pine tree to stare at the page for thirteen hours. spamming it changes the note, telling dipper he’s getting closer, but eventually the whole thing blacks out.

-“STANFORD” and “FORD” brings up the same page as “SIXER”, they are one and the same after all.

-“MCGUCKET” and “FIDDLEFORD” link to Cotton Eyed Joe by Rednex

-“STANLEY” and “STAN” links to ebay listings of brass knuckles

-“BILL” links to a sesame street video from 1969, jazzy triangle meets a square square. BillFord canon??? meanwhile, “CIPHER” and “BILLCIPHER”leads to the wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence, or the eye that watches the work of mankind.

-“GIDEON” leads to a google search of sweat-resistant bolo ties

-“LOVE” opens a book called ‘the love triangle”, tapping on it starts an audiobook of the first page of this book, detailing the narrator falling in love with bill cipher in a romantic period-piece. 10/10, but too short. give me the whole book.

-“GOD” links to a video of an Axolotl swimming in front of a submerged bill cipher statue. upon entering “GOD” again, the video does not play, some of the other videos behave in the same way such as “MATPAT.”

-“BLENDIN” responds with ‘time agent lost and presumed incompetent’

-“WEIRD” plays a video of Weird Al Yankovic yelling about how he’s trapped inside of the computer, and he calls for bill to help him. imagine my shock and horror coming across this the vanilla way, by just trying codes until something happens.

-“WEIRDMAGEDDON” is a newspaper clipping that shows nothing happened yesterday, soos got his head stuck in a honey pot and promptly said ‘and i’d do it again.”

-“TOBYDETERMINED” leads to a google search of ‘restraining order’

-“ROBBIE” pulls up AIM messages between him and thomson, detailing their experience ghost hunting for bill because robbie thinks bill will have to grant them three wishes. included is a great drawing in camcorder style of them running away from an eldritch-looking bill. included, but seemingly not sent, are messages in the text box, and it seems we’re reading from thompson’s perspective. it vaguely alludes that bill may be operating inside of thompson??? erm what the sigma?

-“SKIBIDI” “RIZZ” “FORTNITE” and “GYATT” revokes ur life privileges, but “SIGMA” does nothing.

-“QUESTION” responds with ‘answer’ and vice versa.

-“SCIENTOLOGY” responds with ‘suppressive person detected,” don’t ask why i tried scientology, i was going through science-themed inputs and it came to me like a vision.

-“ALEX” and “ALEXHIRSCH” link to a google search of ‘flannel.’ alex hirsch is lumberjack???

-“JOURNAL 3” responds with ‘the journal for me.’

-“JOURNAL 2” responds with ‘the journal for you’

-“JOURNAL 1” responds with “the journal of fun”

-“SEX” “FUCK” “SHIT” and other curses gives a pop-up that says “not S&P approved, wash your mouth out with soap.”

-“WHOAREYOU” responds with ‘i could ask you the same question’

-“REALITY” responds with ‘is an illusion’

-“FBI” and “CIA” responds with ‘your webcam is on. we are watching.’

-“HOLOGRAM” responds with ‘universe’ and vice versa.

-“SCARY” gives a R.L Stine goosebumps knockoff called The Book Of Bill, with the tagline ‘can you survive the tri-strangler?’ and it seems like it should be an audiobook like the “LOVE” entry, but i can’t hear any audio.

-“THEBOOKOFBILL” responds with ‘hide it under shirt during pledge of allegiance’ ???WHAT???

-“MASON” brings up a note about anagrams, assuredly written in-part by Dipper. idk if mason is even canon i always just assumed it was tbh.

-“LIFE” responds with ‘life:72% complete. now loading death.’

-“DEATH” responds with ‘life’s goth cousin’

-“DADDY” “BABY” and “MOMMY” (listen i was trying anything that came to mind) responds with a pop-up of a baby-bill cipher in an ultrasound, and a message that says ‘congrats! guess what’s growing inside you right now? see you in nine months, papa!’ NEW SEASON IN NINE MONTHS CONFIRMED???? (/j) also— mpreg is gravity falls canon???

———

if i was alex hirsch, these are inputs i would add because i was SHOCKED they WEREN’T there:

-“4 8 15 16 23 42” inputting that into an old-style computer should yield some kind of easter egg. LOST was too big of a cultural phenomena for it to not be a secret code here.

-“CANDY” and “GRENDA.” alex you thought of skibidi but not MABELS ONLY TWO FRIENDS???

-“TWINS” seriously this is like the main thing that keeps repeating, even just linking to a wiki page would be rewarding.

-typing in cryptids should link to pages for them, at least. imagine my shock when i typed in “BIGFOOT” to no avail.

-“SEEYOUNEXTSUMMER” should’ve been an easy one tbh

-“PINETREE” “SHOOTINGSTAR” etc. could just link to the same thing as entering their respective names, like “DIPPER” and “MABEL” respectively.

-“HINT” should do something, even if it just tells you no.

-“?” having no results is bonkers

-“SANSUNDERTALE” would be really funny i think

-“THETRUTH” should respond with ‘is out there’

[yourstarstruckbeloved]

previous | how far can we go? — thirteen | next

a/n: i'm back! i hit a slight roadblock trying to figure out the direction of the story so updates will be slightly slow and short, probably, i'm sorry about that

the gears are now in motion, the plan is rolling. mualani planted the seeds of a certain rumour within meztli; it would only be a matter of time before it grew to the size of a whole plant, because you are currently in the presence of the anela, the one and only anela, her hands shaking as she reads the letter the man she thought was her beloved had left on your doorstep. frankly, the sight did something to your heart that made you want to drop everything and comfort this girl that you had known for literally just ten minutes.

anela’s voice is low, reduced to a quiver. “it’s... um, i— i don’t know what to say...” she sets the letter down on your table. her fists slowly curl into balls and her hands momentarily twitch before she brings them up to her eyes. “he’d been acting pretty off lately, now i know.”

you can tell she’s trying her hardest not to cry. “archons, it’s so pathetic. he’s so pathetic.” you mumble a little i know and sigh as you rest your head on your hands, sitting across from her on your dining table. “would you like some dinner?”

she looks slightly taken aback, stunned to speak, even, and it almost takes her a good few seconds before she can coherently respond to your question. she nods and so you shoot her a small smile and then she offers you her help. what’s your favourite? you ask. blazed meat stew, she says. “i love that! let’s have that for dinner!”

and then, the two of you instantly became best friends.

haha, not really, no. it was a bit awkward, but that’s only natural. after all, trees don’t grow overnight. if you’ve ever seen a sapling grow into one real quick, that only means it probably has a shorter lifespan than usual.

anela finally asks you the dreaded question when you are both seated at your table, plates of food placed in front of the both of you. “do you have someone that you are... with?” she vocalises the question very slowly, as if stringing the words together as she speaks. a million thoughts run through your mind. you almost choke on your food. “it’s alright if you don’t want to answer, i was just curious.” she immediately follows up when she notices your surprise.

“no, no, it’s just, hmm... funny that you ask.”

funny story, there is this guy i hired to be my fake boyfriend just to get yours off my back except it hasn’t been working all that well because nothing seems to deter that creep but also i realised that i actually wish my fake relationship was a real one because somewhere along the way i started developing real feelings and it makes me regret all of my life choices and i’m going to break up with my fake boyfriend actually because i can’t take it and he might actually never want anything to do with me if he ever finds out because then he’ll think i spun this entire story up just for some sick fantasy that he thinks i have and—

“let’s just say that i do...”

taglist !

@yuriisclumsy @fandomfan-102 @jiminscarmex @keiiqq @blaxvoid @eunchaeluvr @just-simping-over-genshin @kuniz-darlingg @sugacor3 @help-whatdoimakemyusername @yomsy @kunichio

[please send me an ask or DM if you would like to be added ♡]

[junnieverse]

MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE ➳ Y. JUNGWON

➙ synopsis: after a long day of practicing for your competition with your dance partner. He decides to escort you home but the rain seems to have stopped you. Although Jungwon doesn't let that hold him back from enjoying his time with you.

pairing: yang jungwon x afab!reader

genre: fluff, exes to lovers au

word count: 1.5k

warnings: not proofread, light cursing, reader referring to jungwon as 'idiot' jokingly, I think that's about it

Making your way into your dance studio humming along to a song, you walk in finding the room empty except for one figure who happened to be stretching by the mirror not far from where you stood.

"Hey Jungwon, are you the only one here?" you calmly greet him as he looks up waving at you through the mirror showing you his infamous smile.

"Oh hey (y/n), yeah our instructor said we should go ahead and start practicing the duet," he says as he stood up to quickly give you a hug, which unfortunately didn't last as long as you had wished.

You and Jungwon had been friends for as long as you'd known, you both met right here in the dance studio when you were around thirteen, now six years later you're both nineteen and one of the best dancers in the entire dance academy.

But despite how great and cordial it all seems between you and Jungwon, he also happened to be your ex boyfriend.

You both had dated for roughly about ten months when you were 16 but it all came to an end when he decided to ended things between you when he moved to Japan to study there.

Just your luck, he eventually came back to Korea nearly a year ago.

Ever since then, things had just been awkward between you both and when your dance instructor announced you would be paired up with Jungwon to do a duet dance for the state championships you felt even more nervous because quite frankly... you still weren't completely over him.

After all, he was your first love.

"So are you ready to practice?" Jungwon asks pulling you out of your thoughts as you shook your head getting back to reality.

"Uh- yeah sure let's get to it," you replied enthusiastically smiling as you placed your gym bag down by the end of the room.

Taking one final breath, you take your place at the centre of the practice dance floor as he soon joined you and began to practice.

"Let's just get this over and done with," you thought to yourself trying your best to shake off the tension in your body.

Having been tirelessly going at it rehearsing the choreography, you both decide to take a quick break.

Heading to your bag, you grab your bottle of water to drink some.

Grabbing your phone checking your notifications you realise the time had gone by and you had completely forgotten you needed to get home and start working on an assignment for school.

"Oh crap, Jungwon I gotta get home. We can continue tomorrow," you tell him with urgency in your voice as you hurriedly wipe the sweat from your forehead with a towel.

"Uh, I'll walk you home," he offers sheepishly smiling as you feel your cheeks heaten up and redden.

"Sure," we left the dance room and made our way out.

Making your way out, you both notice the grey clouds outside as the rain drops slide down the studio glass doors.

Mentally cussing yourself out in disappointment knowing you'd left your umbrella you begin to wonder whether to wait for the unpredictable rain to stop or to make a run for your house that was a good 10 minutes away.

To your suprise, expecting to see Jungwon beside you, instead you're left standing in the hallway alone as the other had ran into the empty street playing in the rain.

You stood there in shock as Jungwon seemingly had the time of his life playing in the puddles as his dark hair and clothes began to dampen.

"Jungwon what are you doing? You're gonna get sick you idiot!" you worriedly yell at him not believing how spontaneously he was being.

"Oh live a little (y/n) this is fun!" he says without a care in the world as he splashed my feet getting me wet too.

Hey, if you can't beat them, join them.

Exasperating, you simply shrug placing your bag with his inside the hallway where they couldn't get wet and you both started splashing each other as your laughter filled the quiet and empty streets.

"This is actually way more fun than I thought," you admitted as you faced upwards closing your eyes as the rain hit you.

Completely soaked, the rain wasn't affecting you anymore and it all felt so relaxing being able to run around carelessly with no consequences or anything in mind.

You just wanted to enjoy and live in this moment forever, with Jungwon beside you.

"Your royal highness, may I have this dance," Jungwon playfully asks as he bows imitating a prince.

"It would be my honour to have this dance your majesty," you join in his antics curtsying back to him.

Laughing softly at his jokes, he gently holds your hand placing a soft kiss to the back of it and this small sign of affection makes your heart beat a bit more faster.

He placed of his one arm around your waist pulling you closer while he extended the other one with yours as you placed your other hand around his upper back.

You both then started waltzing around the street across the water as the rain continued pouring from above.

Everything about this moment felt surreal, like a scene straight out of a movie, dancing in the rain in the middle of an empty road as stars filled the sky and the rain was washing down.

Meeting Jungwon's gaze, you catch him already looking at you with a fond smile and you're instantly drawn by him, nothing else matters right now because you feel like you're the only two people in the world.

This was one of the many reasons why I fell for Jungwon in the first place, he made you step out of your comfort zone trying the wildest things you never thought you'd be doing and he made it fun and memorable too.

Jungwon suddenly dipped you and he continued to quietly look into your eyes.

You swore you could see the stars reflecting in his eyes, the entire universe just glistening in his orbs and it was difficult to look anywhere else.

Your eyes then shifted down looking at his lips which curled up at the corners as he smiled.

Your thoughts raced just wishing he would lean in and finally kiss you.

As if he read your mind, Jungwon closed the gap between you giving you the kiss you'd been yearning for and it felt like explosions had just erupted in your stomach.

His lips tasted so sweet and felt just as soft but you both soon pulled away from  one another ending the short moment.

"W-we should get out of the rain now, don't wanna get sick," you announce shortly awkwardly coughing to break the silence as you looked down trying to hide your intense blushing.

He cleared his throat as he nodded in agreement, "Oh uh yeah I'll accompany you home."

You gave him a smile as you swiftly turned around heading back inside the studio hallway.

Pausing momentarily, you gently touched your lips remembering the kiss that was shared seconds ago and you were still in complete shock at the turn of events.

You both grabbed your sports bags and walked to your house in the rain, didn't make much of a difference seeing as you were both already soaking wet but luckily it started calming down making the walk the slightest bit more comfortable.

Just then you notice Jungwon gently move his hand into yours linking them together.

First taking a look at your hands linked together then back up at him, you see him trying his best to hide his smile as he looks away from you and with that you continued to walk in silence.

Soon you arrived back to your house and you stood by the door awkwardly waiting for one of you to say something.

"Well this is my stop. Thanks for walking home with me and for dancing in the rain," you tell him shyly giggling softly.

"It was no problem. I'll see you tomorrow for practice i guess," he says.

Before you could say anything else, Jungwon hastily places a small peck to your cheek and shyly chuckles.

"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow Jungwon."

Slowly moving away from him, you twist the door knob but came to a halt as you felt his hand on your wrist stopping you.

"Um, would you like to go out with me tomorrow for a date? This is my way of asking for another chance with you." Jungwon admits letting go of your wrist as he scratches the back of his neck.

"I'd love to. Guess I'll see you then."

He excitedly nods and you proceed to slowly get into the house shutting the door gently.

Leaning on it, you place your hand on your chest feeling your heartbeat as you thought back to the moments of you both dancing in the rain.

Hearing a loud sneeze followed by a soft cursing you couldn't help but giggle at the man on the other side of the door.

[tgmsunmontue]

More than movie magic... 17/24

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FOURTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN

Chapter 16 is pretty much the only explicit chapter (so far), so you can skip it if you like, but it's not explicit by my standards, and it's very soft/tender.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

              There’s an annoying buzz and he knows it’s not his alarm, because he very carefully ensured that all four of them were turned off last night before going to the barn and meeting Bradley. It’s not stopping and he wonders if maybe Bradley has an alarm set, but Bradley’s glaring at the ground, specifically the pair of pants holding the phone that’s vibrating and he groans. They’re his pants, so it’s likely his phone ringing.

              “I just want to ignore it,” Jake mutters, letting his head thump back onto the pillow.

              “At least get it and turn it off. It’s not even seven,” Bradley says, pushing him slightly, but still kissing his shoulder and it’s clearly a promise for something if he hurries back to bed and he rolls out, reaches for his hastily discarded jeans and pulls out his phone. The front screen is lit up with the image of Karina and if she’s calling this early it’s potentially not a good thing.

              Fuck.

              “Sorry, it’s my PR manager. I better take this.”

              “You want me to go?”

              “No. No, not at all,” Jake says, giving him a quick kiss before sitting on the edge of the bed and Bradley rests his hand on his thigh, fingers running through the fine sprinkling of hair, and it wavers between ticklish and turning him on and he has to ignore it either way, thumbs over to answer the call.

              “Hello? Karina?”

              “Yeah. Hi. Morning Jake, sorry for the early call, but I left it as late as I could. Would have called earlier, but well, was trying to figure out how far the photos had spread.”

              “Photos?” Jake asks, because there aren’t any photos he can think of that would make Karina need to call him so early, and she’s in California, it’s even earlier there.

              “Yes Jake. Photos. You know, you’re meant to be one of my easy clients.”

              “What are you talking about?”

              “Photos got leaked of you dancing and kissing a guy. Now –”

              “Not just a guy. My boyfriend,” Jake says, turning to Bradley to ask the silent question with his eyebrows. The smile he gets back is all the answer he needs. “It’s fine.”

              “Oh. You couldn’t have given me a heads up?”

              “It’s like… two days old? Three I guess?” Jake asks, rubbing his eyes before dropping his hand to cover Bradley’s one, although he turns it and links their fingers together. The reassuring touch makes the tension melt out of him before it even has time to build, Bradley shifts and wraps his arms around him, legs also stretching to be either side of him and he lets himself lean back into his solid warmth.

              “Oh great. Then I’ll go for the whole invasion of privacy thing –”

              “No. No… you don’t need to do that either. My entire family were there. It was probably one of them that took photos and posted it to their Insta account or something. Just. Confirm I’m in a new relationship with someone and I’d like people to respect our privacy going forward.”

              “Okay. I can do that. Do I get a name?”

              “I don’t want his name coming out until he says it’s okay.”

              “Of course.”

              “It’s Bradley Bradshaw.”

              “Oh.”

              He’s not sure how to interpret that single word, but then she’s telling him she’ll handle it and hanging up on him and okay, so today is going to be a shitshow for her, but he’s far away from it and can probably ignore everything for a few days. He twists his head to try and meet Bradley’s eye.

              “I’m sorry… I didn’t want you to get caught up in all this.”

              “Were you planning on me being a secret?”

              Jake frowns.

              “You think I dance with people like I danced with you in the hope that it’ll stay a secret?”

              “You think I let famous people dance with me like that with the expectation that it will be a secret?”

              “Yeah. Okay. Point taken. But there’s a difference between wanting to protect you from media scrutiny and keeping it a secret. You’ve met my parents. Everyone here probably thinks we’re sleeping together…”

              “We are sleeping together,” Bradley states.

              “They might think it’s only sex.”

              “Well, then they’d be wrong. Jake… they’re going to dig shit up on me. I was a child actor, my parents both died when I was young. However I was raised by two people who guarded my privacy like hawks…”

              “Two people?” Jakes asks, doing a double take.

              “Yeah. Pete and his partner…”

              “Pete Mitchell has a partner?”

              “Yep.”

              “That private huh?”

              “Yep. You’ll meet them soon enough…” Jake isn’t an idiot, knows Bradley is being deliberately vague with the pronouns, although they could just prefer those pronouns of course.

              “Jake. I knew what I was signing up for. Media circus and all. If it bothered me that much I would have said something, or simply stayed away from you. But I’m right here. And I’ve got no plans on going anywhere.”

              Something uncurls inside him, because knowing that upfront is a relief, although he knows Bradley could change his mind, or simply get over it, being the center of said media circus.

              “Also, while we’re having this conversation, they’ll dig up my net worth and all the people saying I’m a gold digger will have to shut up.”

              Jake twists further around to stare at him, because that’s surprising. Bradley just grins, presses a kiss to his shoulder and Jake keeps twisting, pushing back until Bradley is lying on the bed and he straddles him, places his hands on his shoulders and Bradley just looks up at him, smug and arrogant like he knows what he just said is going to annoy Jake and he’s done it on purpose.

              “You’re kind of an asshole.”

              “I grew up in Hollywood, when you think about that, then it’s a miracle I’m as normal as I am.”

              “Yeah, I guess you’re right. What is your net worth?”

              “I don’t know. Probably more than yours.”

              “Really now? You don’t know?”

              “Meh. I don’t care. But I’ve been around a lot longer than you, and I’ve had people managing my money very carefully for longer than you’ve been in the business.”

              “But you work…” Jake says.

              “So do you. I work because I love my job. Not because I have to. It’s why I can afford to be picky about the jobs we take.”

              “You took this one.”

              “Well. Yeah.”

              They just stare at each other for a few beats and Bradley shrugs and Jake lets out a pleased laugh and sprawls over him, kissing him and feeling like everything will be okay.

              “I’m not going to be reading the press okay? Let alone believing any of it or letting it bother me. If I have any issues with anything I’ll raise them directly with you okay?”

              “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

…           …           …

              He has to leave Jake, there are no spare clothes and his shirt is definitely not fit for wearing, so he’s going to have to walk back to the bunkhouse shirtless, which is definitely not ideal but he refuses to be embarrassed. Of course, when Rueben lets out an ear-splitting wolf whistle, drawing attention he has no choice but to flip him the finger, but Jake has people. Well. His mom. She’s bringing him a change of clothes, and Bradley might like Aunty Kaye but he is not hanging around naked in bed. He’s also not accepting the offer for her to bring him clothes either, no matter how kindly the offer was made. Especially with how Jake’s apparently sensitive all over and it looks like Bradley left no stone unturned last night. Or this morning.

              It’s still early, and while he’d have very much liked to spend the day in bed with Jake, it’s still a workday, the filming schedule tight and he’s meant to be on set in thirty minutes to oversee Rueben, Natasha and Jake carry out some corralling. He showers quickly, scrubbing himself clean and steps out to his phone ringing, toweling himself dry with one hand as he accepts the call.

              “Hey Mav.”

              “Bradley. Hi. You okay?”

              “Yeah. Of course,” he says, pulling his underwear on with one hand, swapping over hands holding the phone so he can wiggle a little.

              “Uh. Really?”

              “Yeah. Really. Why?”

              “Oh. Just. There are some photos circulating. Have you seen them?”

              “Oh. You’re ringing about those. It’s fine. I don’t need to see the photos. I was there. It’s fine. Nothing we’re hiding.”

              “Oh.”

              “Yeah. Oh indeed,” Bradley says, and he knows Mav can probably hear his smile.

              “He… he doesn’t drive you absolutely mad?”

              Bradley laughs, because Jake doesn’t drive him mad at all, drives him to distraction maybe, but not mad. He puts the phone on speaker and sets it down, continuing to get dressed.

              “Nope. Well, not in the way you’re thinking. He’s… God Pete. He’s sweet and caring and such a momma’s boy. His mom is his best friend she gives him absolute hell and he lets her.”

              “Oh. Bradley. You are gone gone…”

              “Yeah. I am gone gone,” Bradley agrees, because there is no point in denying it, and he’s pretty sure Jake already knows, and if he takes away Pete’s ammunition now he has less material to wind Bradley up with.

              “Huh. Okay then. I’ll tell Ice to cancel the job.”

              Bradley rolls his eyes.

              “Don’t say shit like that. He’s not in the mob. Tell him to reign in whatever crazy plan you’re concocting. I’m fine.”

              “Uh… well…”

              “Mav? What crazy plan are you concocting?” Bradley asks, letting out a sigh.

              “Nothing. Really. Just. We thought we’d come out for a visit.”

              “No! I’m working. You don’t need to come and visit. I’m fine.”

              “Okay. Well. How do you know it’s not a one-night stand?”

              “Because we communicate Mav. Like adults. I know it’s a foreign concept for you.”

              “Hey!”

              “Also, pretty sure Jake doesn’t make his one-night stands have dinner with his parents the day before. And I met so many of his family last night I lost track…”

              “But I haven’t met him!”

              “Maverick! Pete. You worked with him for months!”

              “I mean I haven’t met him as your… boyfriend.”

              “You’re on a plane aren’t you,” Bradley states, realizing the truth of it as he says it and okay, at least Jake might feel like Bradley’s getting the better side of the bargain once he realizes how unhinged Mav can be when it comes to him. “Tell me you’re alone.”

              “Well, there’s the pilot,” Mav says, totally deflecting and Bradley knows.

              “Mav.”

              “Well, you know how protective he gets!”

              Fuckity fuck fuck Bradley thinks internally, because it’s one thing to have Pete Mitchell as a father figure, it’s totally another to have Tom Kazansky. And he’s already alluded to Jake that Pete has a partner, although he has no idea what phase of their relationship they might currently be in, with it waxing and waning as sure as the moon, but always there even when they weren’t together. And they’re both enroute here. Because of fucking course they are, although he knows Tom is only really coming to keep Maverick inline.

EIGHTEEN

[throneofsapphics]

Manon x reader x Asterin (angst) please 🤸‍♀️

think for yourself.

(part two)

Manon x Reader x Asterin 

Summary: “I don’t care how you feel about this.” The white haired witch said through gritted teeth, those gold eyes seeming to burn a brand into you. 

“When have you ever cared?” Your voice was quiet and you went against all common sense, turning your back to walk towards the kitchen area. “Leave.”

Word Count: ~1.4k

Warnings: angst, slight injury, blood 

A/N: angst is my favorite thing to write. I'm so sorry. also not proofread very well

It was late at night, in the small cabin you lived in, a few miles from the nearest village, perfectly secluded. The safest way for you to live. When you made trips into town, they welcomed you with open arms - mostly because of the herbs and goods you would barter or sell, but you did have a few friends there. Nobody there knows exactly where you live, nor did you invite anyone over, and you always took different routes home, shaking any who tried to follow. Even if that meant you would double the amount of time it took you to get back. Paranoia is good. It’s kept you alive. However, any common sense seemed to fall away for two witches. Who’d thankfully captured your heart instead of tearing it out. 

-

I haven’t seen your kind for some time.” A smooth and cold voice purred from behind you. Rarely could anyone sneak up on you, not with the senses from your Fae heritage. You slowly turned to face them. To of them. Witches. One with white-blonde hair and a predatory look in her eyes stalked towards you, the other fell into step a pace behind her, matching each other in pace and stride. Instead of the urge to flee, a small voice told you to stay. So you did, with that immortal stillness. Fleeing would give them a chase, something they undoubtedly would enjoy. 

You didn’t flinch as iron nails snapped out, or as one dug under your chin, tilting your face upwards. You met the burnt-gold eyes with a defiant gaze. “I don’t remember them being quite so pretty,” the other commented, and you could hear the amusement but didn’t dare take your eyes off the witch in front of you. The nails snapped back, and the two walked away without another word. 

-

The cabin had one bedroom, a living and kitchen area, and an outhouse. A few hens cluck around outside, along with a particularly nasty rooster you caught Manon eyeing once in a while. Like it would be her next meal. 

You laid, stretched across the couch with your head in Asterin’s lap, her fingers running through your hair, and Manon sat not too far away, in a worn down but cozy red armchair you’d come to associate as hers. 

A tension filled the room, both of the witches seeming on edge, and you couldn’t figure out why. Finally, you sighed and sat up, ignoring Asterin’s huff of protest and angling yourself so you could easily see both of them. “What is it?” you asked. 

“We’re leaving.” Manon said bluntly, and Asterin winced. 

“When?” You replied, fighting the dread that crept inside you. The left frequently, but something about this felt different. Off. 

“One week.” 

Your heart dropped, eyes starting to burn slightly but Manon wouldn’t react to your tears, she never did. Asterin, on the other hand, would. To anyone else, except maybe the rest of the thirteen, she would seem just as unflinching, the perfect mask of stone obedience. But, the corners of her lips turned down ever so slightly. Guilt, you could sense her guilt. If they were telling you this early … 

You cleared your throat, “how long?” 

“We don’t know.” Asterin said softly. 

“Can I ask what you’ll be doing?” 

“You can always ask,” she teased, but it fell short. She and Manon exchanged a glance, and Asterin continued - to your surprise. “The King has been breeding Wyvern’s. He needs riders for his aerial cavalry.” 

The world froze around you. You felt fate tightening its strings, twisting around your heart. Ironteeth witches as aerial cavalry for the king's army. That same army who … but they didn’t know about that, or they never would’ve told you. 

“Are you going to say anything?” Manon snapped, your silence annoying her. She didn’t like being ignored. 

“Why?” You looked back and forth between the two of them. 

“When we are done, when we’ve served” Manon said the word with disgust, “him, we will keep the wyverns and reclaim the wastes.” 

The wastes. The homeland both of them had been dreaming of for longer than you were alive. But serving him? The King had already conquered Erilea, committed various genocides, banished magic, and had an entire continent under his thumb. What more is he planning to do? Manon, herself, would never make the choice to serve a king, to follow his orders, meaning it had to have come from her grandmother. The High Witch of the Blackbeak clan. You tried to swallow your anger, you really did, but the words came out before your filter could catch up. 

“Is this how you’re going to spend the rest of your life, following your grandmothers every order, whoring yourself out to that King?” Before you could blink, both were on their feet. Manon’s iron nails dug harshly into your skin, and you felt the warm slick of blood starting to drip down your neck as she dragged you to your feet. 

“I should kill you.” Manon snarled, cold fury in her eyes. You’d insulted her, hit right where it would hurt. Good. Asterin laid a hand on her cousin's shoulder, but her eyes were cold too. 

“Do it,” you snarled right back, “your never master would order you to anyway.” 

Asterin barely yanked Manon back in time, scratches that would scar left blood dripping down your neck. “Be careful what you say next,” she warned as Manon shook off her grip. Seconds ago, Manon may have killed you but you could tell she wouldn’t now. 

“I don’t care how you feel about this.” The white haired witch said through gritted teeth, those gold eyes seeming to burn a brand into you. 

“When have you ever cared?” Your voice was quiet and you went against all common sense, turning your back to walk towards the kitchen area. “Leave.” 

Two sets of footsteps left, the door creaked open and slammed shut, and hushed arguments sounded outside your door. Too quiet for you to hear. One set came back in as the heavy oak door creaked, but closed quietly this time. 

“She does care,” Asterin said softly, her arms wrapping around your waist to pull your back to her chest. Despite the anger still bubbling in you, you melted back into her, resting your head against her shoulder. “She’ll be back in a few days,” she murmured, not expecting a reply from you. 

She let you lay in her arms until late that night, content to enjoy each others embrace, as if she knew what would happen next. 

-

Manon stormed towards your cabin, intent on doing something. She wouldn’t apologize, but didn’t want to leave on those terms, with your words in her mind. Whoring yourself out. Your new master. If you were anyone else, you would’ve been dead before the second curse had been uttered. 

Asterin followed closely behind her. They knew something was off as soon as they arrived. It felt stale. The hens and that gods-damned rooster were nowhere to be seen. She slammed through the door and the place was empty. You hadn’t been there in a few days. A quick scan told her everything essential to you was gone.

She whirled on Asterin. “Did you know?” Her second shook her head, her emotions flooding through her eyes. 

A small note on the table. Manon’s stomach dropped seeing it. She didn’t want to, but she had to read it. Instinct told her the note was meant mostly for her, even without a name on it., 

I love you. If you ever loved, cared for, or respected me, you’ll leave me alone. I hope you learn to think for yourself one day. 

Discolored spots and splotched ink littered the page. You cried while writing it. Manon dropped it like it burned her, and stalked out the cabin without a look back. 

Asterin read it one. Twice. Three times, and memorized it before destroying it. She took one last look around, trying to memorize every detail, before letting out a long breath and following Manon. 

-

The battle was over, and Manon still felt empty. A gaping hole left in her soul. Twelve pieces of her were missing. But, footsteps sounded behind her, and she prepared to snarl at whoever might be disturbing her. She was surprised when Abraxos didn’t react beyond curiosity. Manon knew that scent. Intimately. She whirled around to see you. Alive. 

“So you did learn to think for yourself.” 

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Running from the Flames {12}

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x OFC Warnings: 18+ only, media being the usual pain in the ass - this is a work of fiction and the events are not based on reality. Chapter: One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven* || Twelve || Thirteen || Fourteen || under construction

Barcelona was as beautiful as I remembered and the weather was stunning when Pierre returned to the pit after finishing the second free practice session. Tensions were high between him and Esteban when we entered the Alpine space but Pierre gave me a kiss and told me not to worry. That was like asking me not to breathe.

I would always worry about the people I cared for. 

“Mama, I’m hungry.”

“Okay, sweetheart, just wait here a second and then we’ll go out.”

Pierre was just climbing out of his seat and in a heated discussion with the technicians about the car's braking when I reached him. “No, it’s not good, I’m telling you.”

He wasn’t even looking my way but his arm opened for me before I reached him and I stepped into the hug to hear the technician apologise and promise to double check the data again. 

“I’m going to take Addie to lunch, there’s a place I haven’t been to in years, they do amazing Caribbean food. Do you want me to bring you anything?” 

He shook his head and brushed his hair back out of his eyes when it flopped over his face. “I would love some, but I don’t think it fits into the pre-race nutrition plan.” He pulled me closer so no one could overhear us. “There’s nothing to stop me from tasting it on your tongue when you get back though.”

“You are a dirty man, Gasly. You look so sweet but some of the things that come out of your mouth…” 

“You love it.” His smirk was hidden by the curtain of my hair but I knew it was there nonetheless and I couldn’t deny it. He knew how his words affected me when we were in the throes of passion.

I rose on my tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the lips as I answered, “You know I do. I’ll come find you when I get back.”

“Okay, be safe.”

I found Addie drawing on a copy of the race schedule Otmar had given her and promised her we would drop it in the driver’s room for Pierre on the way out. It may have looked like a bunch of scribbles to me but she had an entire story that went along with it to somehow put it into context. Even if he didn’t understand the picture he would still be happy to receive the gift.

The walk to the restaurant wasn’t far but an old ache began in my bad hip along the way and Addie had to slow her pace so I could keep up. 

“Mama, hurry up!” she said, tugging my hand. 

“I can’t, sweetheart.”

“Get hurt?” she asked inquisitively as she watched my slight limp.

“A long time ago.”

She frowned with concern and slowed down. “Need besos?”

I chuckled at her kindness and stopped so I could kiss the top of her head.

“Not me, you, mama.”

“But it worked, I’m feeling much better now.”

She grinned at the news that wasn’t quite true. I was feeling better but my hip wasn’t. Thankfully we had reached the restaurant that looked unusually busy.

“Crap,” I muttered to myself thinking the queue would be huge but the group of people milling about were there for another reason.

“Bri,” Lewis called out over the crowd and their heads turned my way. “Can you please let my friend through?” 

They parted for him like Moses and the Red Sea and felt their stares burning a hole in my back as we walked into the restaurant. Addie rushed to his side first and he picked her up to pop her on his hip so he could keep signing items with one hand. The perks of being an uncle to his own nieces and nephews meant he was totally at ease carrying the extra weight around. 

“Still coming here,” I noted when I was safely inside and he had thanked the crowd for their support and apologised that he didn’t have time to sign more autographs. “Shouldn’t you be at the practice session?”

“Came straight here from it. The gearbox was acting up so we boxed it before the practice timed out and I was starving.”

My walking had obviously slowed us down more than I thought if he had got here as quick as he did. I only hoped I got back before Pierre was off to the next pre-race weekend event the PR team had planned.

“Do you still have the pepperpot or have you expanded your palate?” I asked, knowing the answer already as we walked up to the counter to order. 

“I like what I like,” he said with a laugh.

“Can I please get one vegetable pepperpot, one chicken with rice and one fried sweet plantains?” I ordered for us while Lewis took Addie to the drinks fridge and grabbed two waters and a juice box. 

The older gentleman who owned the restaurant rang up the cash register and looked at me for a moment before his eyes widened. “I recognise you now,” he spoke in the local dialect with a wide grin. “It’s been a while since you last came here with Mr Hamilton, we missed your pretty face.”

“Thank you.” I blushed at the compliment and handed over more than enough cash to cover the food. “I am long overdue for your delicious food and I promise I won’t be away so long next time.” 

“Good, good, it’s sad to see Mr Hamilton eat here alone each year.”

I took the change and dropped it into the tip jar beside the counter and sat down at the table Addie had chosen. 

“What’s this you’re wearing now?” Lewis asked her, tapping the Alpine hat she had hung on the back of her chair. 

“Pee-year gave it to me,” she said with a grin.

“Correction, you stole it from him,” I pointed out to Lewis’ amusement. “He didn’t even get half a carrot for it.”

Lewis pierced the straw into the juice box and held it just out of her reach. “How about you wear a Mercedes hat and I’ll give you this?”

“Resorting to bribery?” I teased but it didn’t work anyway as Addie shook her head adamantly and grabbed her hat with a stern, “I like this one.”

“She must really like Gasly if she’ll sacrifice her juice box for his hat,” Lewis commented. “What about you?”

“Oh, I would definitely sacrifice a juice box for his hat too.”

He laughed and sat back in his chair to stretch his long legs out under the table. “I’ve been in F1 for seventeen years now, known you since you were a pimply teen running round the paddock.”

“I didn’t have pimples!”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Tell that to my ego.”

“Okay, you were the only teen in the world who never had pimples, is that better?”

“I appreciate the lie.” 

He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. “Are you two serious or is this just a summer thing? I’m only asking because it’s great having you back and it would suck if you left again. No one else eats anything remotely hot aside from you.”

The platters of food arrived at that moment and the aroma of spices that filled the air was mouthwatering. Addie didn’t even wait for me to dish up some food on a plate for her before she grabbed a slice of crispy plantain and yelped when it was hot. 

“That’s for dessert, but only if you eat some of this first,” I said as I wiped the grease from her fingers and handed over a small plate of chicken and rice. 

When I finally settled in with my own food dished up I found Lewis still waiting for an answer and I reluctantly put my fork back down. “Why is everyone so interested in my love life?”

“So it’s love huh?” he said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and stuffed a forkful of food into my mouth so I didn’t have to entertain him with an answer. The silence was all he needed though and he stabbed at the chunky cut vegetable on his plate with a quiet laugh. “I'm happy for you, Bri.”

“I’m happy too.”

“Me too,” Addie chimed in before looking longingly at Lewis’ food until he pushed his plate closer so she could get a spoonful. 

Lewis ate faster than us, constantly checking his watch before he sighed and said, “sorry ladies, I have to get back for this panel.”

“Go,” I waved him off, “she’ll still be eating for another 20 minutes at this rate.”

He swiped a sweet plantain from the plate and I couldn’t help ribbing him for the deep fried treat, “Are you allowed that much sugar and fat, Sir?”

He grinned and popped it in his mouth as he shook his head. “I won’t tell if you don’t. I’ll see you two round the paddock, stay out of trouble.”

I pretended to zip my lips before remarking to his receding figure, “I never go looking for it, it just finds me.”

His deep laugh echoed back before he disappeared out the door and the few people that had hung around the restaurant soon went with him. 

My leg was aching more with the pain radiating from my hip when we started on our own way back so we took it slow and window shopped along the way. 

“Pretty necklace,” Addie gushed as she pressed her nose to the display window of a jewellery store. “So shiny.”

I looked over at the diamond pendant she was eying up and shook my head before a gold chain in the next display caught my eye. “Come on my little magpie,” I said as I walked to the door and was greeted by a middle aged woman. “Can I have a look at the cross necklace?”

She was happy to unlock the display and bring out the piece, an 18k gold crucifix on a long figaro chain. I draped it over my hand and took a closer look at the detailing on the piece before holding it up to Addie. “Do you think this will suit Pierre?” I was already going to buy the item but I was glad she gave an eager nod. “I’ll take this please, and can it be gift wrapped?”

“Certainly, it won’t be a moment,” the saleswoman said as she took the necklace behind the counter and started packaging it up. While waiting, I felt my phone vibrate and saw dad had sent me three messages in quick succession.

From Dad: I love you my darling daughter but when you’re in the paddock there are always fires to be put out. From Dad: Where are you? From Dad: Brianna Valentina Vowles To Dad: 🏃🏽‍♀️🔥🔥🔥 From Dad: What the hell is that meant to be? To Dad: That’s me, running from the flames. What’s happened? From Dad: Image attached

The picture loaded and I rolled my eyes as I saw it was taken by one of Lewis’ fans while we were in the restaurant. Lewis was holding Addie while we spoke and the caption implied I was making my way ‘round the paddock in more ways than one.

From Dad: There’s no doubt they will bring this up in the interview about to start. From Dad: <link to live feed>

I opened the link and it showed an F1 interview panel with half of the drivers, the other half in the wings of the stage waiting for their turn next as was usual with so many people to interview and never enough time. 

“Excuse me,” the saleswoman said quietly as she presented the gift wrapped box and opened her hand towards the eftpos machine. I barely spared her a glance as I quickly swiped my card and paid for the jewellery while keeping one eye on my phone screen. “Thank you, have a lovely day.”

“You too,” I said distractedly as I shoved the box into my handbag and took Addie’s hand to rush back to the paddock. 

Most of the guys were on their phones until their attention was pulled away as the interviews got started but the camera kept panning back to Pierre and Lewis who were sitting beside each other. They were talking too low for the stage microphone to pick up but Lewis shook his head at whatever Pierre said and the tension that had been brimming eased. 

“Lewis,” the male interviewer drew his attention away from Pierre and a microphone was handed over to him, “Good to see you, you’re looking well.”

“Thanks man, you too.”

“I know you guys take your pre-race diets pretty seriously in the lead up to make sure the weight in the car is optimum. I guess that’s why it was surprising to hear that you stepped out of the paddock for a date with Brianna Vowles who, for those of you who haven’t been following this, has been romantically linked to Pierre Gasly just last week.” The camera zoomed in on Lewis and Pierre as the crowd waited for a response.

Lewis held the microphone away and whispered to Pierre before replying. “Romantically linked? Is that what you call it?” He shared a laugh with Pierre and tilted the microphone over to him. “What do you have to say about that?”

“I mean it’s a little old-fashioned for me,” he said with a chuckle. “I call her my girlfriend.”

“I know I’m probably going to get an earful from the team about going to Jerk Hut but if you tried their food you’d know it’s worth a slap on the wrist,” Lewis joked and pointed knowingly to a loud cheer that went up in one corner of the crowd. “They know it too. And getting to catch up with Bri was a bonus. Ask anyone in F1 who’s been here for more than half a decade and they’ll have a story to tell about her, all good ones I assure you.

“So, Pierre,” Lewis paused as he clapped his fellow driver on the shoulder, “you should know there’s a lot of us who consider her like a little sister, and I don’t need to tell you what happens if you break her heart.”

Pierre crossed his finger over his heart and promised in front of thousands of fans, “no heartbreaking here.”

We had just reached the Paddock Pass entrance and I scanned my card before stepping into one of the many tents set up for shade so I could quickly text my dad and we could both rest our legs after the fast pace Addie had set trying to get back to see Pierre and Poppa Otty.

To Dad: Put the fire extinguisher away, old man, they had it under control. From Dad: Ok, he’s more mature than I gave him credit for. Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? Pierre too. To Dad: It’s team dinner tonight, why don’t you come with us? From Dad: I’ll give Otmar a call now.

I closed the chat with dad and opened the one with Pierre.

To Pierre: Where are you? From Pierre: Just finished the panel, heading back to the pit now. Did you see the interview? Where are you? To Pierre: I did. I’m sorry you got blindsided by that but I got a gift for you. I’m five minutes away. From Pierre: I don’t need gifts when I have you. To Pierre: Keep saying sweet things like that and I’ll give you something else too babe. From Pierre: Merde. Now I need another ice bath.

I snorted aloud and pulled my cap down lower over my face as a few people turned to the sound. If only they knew how dirty my boyfriend could be, then they would be flushing too.

Click here for chapter thirteen.

Tagging: @my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife

[melkyt]

CW: Physical Abuse, Victim Blaming

Detective Luffy and Client!Law who didnt so much as ask for help, as Luffy saw him during another case.

Law was being bothered by police to answer questions while getting ready to leave the hospital, one black eye, a broken arm and a bone deep exhaustion.

Luffy, drop out of any organized civil servant job, always running around low sleep high energy, sees that Law is trying to get away, curious he gets closer. Hears some of the bullshit the man bothering Law is saying, something about how if he doesnt come forward about the DQ family, that Law deserves what happened to him.

That's about as far as Luffy listens, brings his fist back and hits the man square in the nose, breaking it. Then before Law can say anything, takes him by the hand and runs out of there. Not interested in dealing with the consequences, and clocking that Law wants to just get out of there.

They stop a block away when Law wrenches his hand out. "I didnt need your fucking help" he snaps, followed by "Who are you?"

Luffy introduces himself in usual Luffy fashion, and asks Law if he wants his help with whoever hurt him, brushing his hand over the bruise. Which ofc only gets Law to freak out more. He shakes his head, takes a deep steadying breath, thanks Luffy for the help and says to leave him alone, and that he is doing just fine.

Luffy doesnt buy it, and lets Law get a distance away before tailing him, determined to make sure he atleast gets home safe. Law is on enough painkillers and tired, that he doesnt notice Luffy or anyone else following him.

There is someone, Luffy beats the shit out of them. Which gets Law in even more hot water then before.

Luffy watches until he is sure that Law is going to be fine and he gets hungry before absconding back to his agency office, where he tells his crew whats up.

They are all for it but not happy that its another client that doesnt want to do shit with them. Nami is the least happy about it as they are for sure not getting paid, and if anything will have to be the ones to pay. Though its only surface complaining, as she is not leaving anyone that is in an abusive situation.

Any client that Luffy brings always has it rough.

So they stick their nose into Doflamingo's business, something he very much does not like, and quickly traces it back to the situation in the hospital. Takes it out on Law and sends him to solve this little problem, and if he doesnt then he is the one who is going to get a not so quick death

Law shows up at the agency even worse for wear then before, his arm that should have started healing is even worse, just one long black and blue bruise under the bandages, that are tight above the cast and he is limping. Despite that he has the determination and spirit to yell at them to get out of his life.

Luffy tilts his head. "Dont you want to take Doffy down?"

"Yeah, but thats not your fucking problem!" He stands tall, looking down at Luffy who is sitting on the desk with no conern what so ever "I will deal with him my own way"

"And how is that working out for you?"

This makes Law hesitate, because it is not working. He has been plotting his revenge for atleasy thirteen years, and all he has to show for it is broken bones and a battered body, plus a tired mind. He shakes his head "Nobody asked---"

"Wrong" Luffy interrupts, jumping to his feet. "Plenty of people want to take Doffy down" He sways on his feet. "You're cool and fun Traffy, but you're not special in wanting revenge on him"

Which makes Law bristle even more, because Luffy is right and has a point. He deflates because those words said outloud hurt, gets that empty gaze of 'i dont matter'

Then Luffy panics "i didnt mean you're not special in that way! Just ugh--"

Law takes another deep breath. "Its fine, do what you want, just dont get me killed" He goes to leave. "Or do, whatever" He is not getting anywhere, talking to these people

"Wait, stay here! I didnt mean it like that!"

He gets a smack from one of his crew for his smooth talking. (Vivi probably) And she goes of to talk to Law.

Luffy pouts. He is right, but like he thinks Law is special, just in a different way. He was so focused on the fight, he fumbled xd.

He tells his crew that he is going to go take out Doffy before he can hurt Law again. He didnt like that empty look in those golden eyes one bit. They dont try to talk him out of it.

There is alot of drama from this point. Luffy gets hurt that he has to be in the hospital for a few hours, but him giving up is not in the cards. He goes back again a few more times, being an absolute nuisance to Doflamingo's operations until the man show himself and stops hiding behind the scenes.

Law is better by that point and refuses to stay out of the fight. He let the strawhats distract him for too long.

The fight is long and shuts down a few city blocks, an all out gang war kind of deal. Dressrosa style, maybe some underground tournement that Luffy would end up fighting through

Luffy ofc wins in the end.

Law doesnt quit the life he had to be in, but takes over the family over Doffy, and uses it to help people that have been hurt.

And also he has a detective boyfriend :3

[kristannafever]

Mountain Man - Thirteen

Kristanna Modern AU Rated: M/EX WC: 2821

Collab with @lukin08

Chapter Index

------------------------

When they woke from their nap in the late afternoon, Anna dressed quickly and apologized to Kristoff that she was going to have to see to some work things before they would have a chance to go home.

Kristoff was struck again by how amazing she was.  There was no doubt in his mind that she was going to take him in and give him food and shelter, and that made him feel more loved than anything he had experienced in so very long, it brought new tears to his eyes.

“Don’t, Kristoff,” Anna warned as she pulled her boots back on.  “I am going to bawl again if you keep that up.”

“Sorry.”  He chuckled and picked up his shirt off the floor to wipe his eyes before he slid it over his head.  “Can I help?  I don’t want to just sit around.”

Anna smiled at him.  “Hmmm, do I know that feeling from somewhere recently?  As a matter of fact, yes.  Yes, I do.”

Kristoff laughed.  “Well alright then.  Tell me what you need a hand with.”

Anna opened the door to her office and stepped out to the hanger with Kristoff on her heels.  “First we can finish the daily plane maintenance routine, then-”

“Already done,” called Frank from the far corner of the hanger where he was hunched over a work bench.

“Oh, okay then…”  She shrugged.  “Thank you, Frank!” she called back over to him.  “I guess instead we can-”

“That’s done too,” Frank called jovially. 

“Let me guess, you didn’t leave me anything I need to do for the rest of the day, did you, old man?” Anna shouted back with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face.

Frank just smiled and tapped his nose twice.

Anna laughed and jogged over to give him a big hug.  Then she hustled back to Kristoff and grabbed his hand, dragging him out of the hanger towards her pickup.  They hopped in and Anna took off towards town while they both smiled ear to ear.

“I’m taking you home first so you can meet my sister, then we can go grab a huge celebratory dinner.  What do you think about that?”

Kristoff sighed.  “That sounds amazing.”

It wasn’t a very far drive to Anna’s house.  Kristoff asked her a bunch of questions on the drive over, mainly about how their four weeks apart had been.  She kept things lighthearted since they were both happy now, but Kristoff understood it was harder for her than she was letting on.  When she asked him the same question, he knew she was picking up on his misery as well.

They dropped the sadness as soon as Anna pulled into her driveway.  It was exactly the kind of place Kristoff had pictured in his mind.  It was small and quaint, looking more like a cottage, with only one neighbour to the South and the edge of the forest to the North.  She had mentioned to him how her and Elsa went and walked along the nearby stream and explored the open wilderness when they were kids.

Anna burst into the front door and kicked off her boots before running further into the house.  Kristoff was left in the foyer, struggling with his own boot laces when he heard Anna calling out.

“Elsa? Elsa, are you home?”

“In the den,” he heard a similar voice call back.  “Hang on, I’m coming.”

“I have some news.  You’ll never guess-” Anna began before she was interrupted by a gasp.

“Anna!  You’re smiling again!  What happened?”

Kristoff finally got his boots off but hesitated at the door, not wanting to interrupt the conversation.  He suddenly felt very awkward.  Before he could think about what would be the proper action in a situation like this, Anna was in front of him smiling ear to ear and dragging him with her.

“This,” Anna explained, as she pulled Kristoff into the kitchen where Elsa was standing near the table.  “This is what happened.”

Elsa’s eyes went wide before she gave a soft smile of understanding.  “I see…”

-----

As soon as he walked into the place with Anna, he paused at the door.  The bar was very busy and very loud.  Kristoff swallowed hard.  He wanted to have a nice dinner with Anna and talk to her, but this was too much.  He’d been in isolation for so long, that this much ruckus immediately made him feel incredibly anxious.  It was actually hurting his ears.

Anna paused when he stopped and the door and looked back over her shoulder into his eyes.  She was about to open her mouth and question him when it seemed like she understood.  Kristoff thought she might be a little upset that he was unable to do this, then she smiled at him instead before turning and walking back out the door, pushing him along with her back to the parking lot.

“How about a case of beer and a pizza instead?  We can veg out on my bed in privacy and we can watch something on tv.”

Kristoff pushed her gently against the side of her truck and kissed her in answer.  It blew his mind again with how amazing she was.  He didn’t even have to say anything, she just looked at him and understood.   He pulled back from her lips, mind cloudy with desire and fatigue.  Despite napping in her office, he was still exhausted. 

“Come on.”  She smiled at him in a way that soothed his soul.  “What do you like on your pizza?”

Kristoff had to laugh at that.  “I haven’t had a pie in over a decade.  And I’m not picky, so you can decide.”

“Really?” Anna grinned.  “Even if I choose ham and pineapple?  I went out with a guy once who told me I was an abomination for liking pineapple on my pizza.”

“Well, that guys sounds like a fucking idiot who doesn’t understand that people are allowed to like what they like.”

“Right?!  He was a complete moron.  I got up right then and there and left him to pay for the drink I had ordered and hadn’t even gotten yet.”

His smile faltered to realize that he actually had nothing to give Anna.  He had barely a cent to his name, His livelihood was done on trade, managed by Cliff and Linda.

“Don’t.”  Her tone was a warning, as if she could read his mind.  Was he really that easy to read, or was she that intuitive?  Did it really matter?  “Get that out of your head right now, Kristoff.  I mean it.”

He looked down into her eyes and smiled.  She was right.  None of that stuff mattered in the face of love.  He was going to have to get used to this new reality.  Luckily, he had Anna to guide him through it.

He could not help but watch her as she drove them to the pizza place, she was just so beautiful.  His heart ached with love in a way that he never imagined was even possible for him. 

They walked into the place hand in hand and ordered Anna’s all time favourite; ham and pineapple. 

“I just love the combo of it you know?  Although, I also love deluxe with fresh tomatoes on top.  There’s something about that combination of a hot cheesy pizza with a nice juicy cold slice of-”

Kristoff cut her off with a kiss.  He felt bad for interrupting but he could not help himself.  The prospect of this new life, this new future, he never thought there could be so much happiness in the world.

The shout that their order was up brought their lips apart.  The teenager behind the till seemed to be equally embarrassed and mesmerised by the public display of affection.  Anna paid while Kristoff grabbed the pizza and they left.

He sat in the truck while she hopped into the liquor store and came out with a case of beer.  He watched her through the glass facade, smiling and talking to the old shopkeeper.  No doubt this was her usual spot to buy booze.  Just the ease of her, the way she could literally melt into and make the best of any situation, it was amazing. 

The rest of the drive back to her place he had her hand in his.

After talking very briefly to Elsa and bidding her goodnight, they tucked themselves into Anna’s room.  It was the Master bedroom and used to be Anna’s parents.  She told him with a chuckle she claimed it as her own when it became clear that she was going to be the breadwinner for her and her sister.  Elsa had not balked, preferring to stay in her childhood space.

Anna had even converted the double sink vanity in the bathroom to a single to give herself a breakfast station; a coffee maker, a mini fridge and a toaster.  She told him that she liked to skulk around her room in the early morning since Elsa was often up all night and slept during the day.  Being able to make herself coffee and butter some toast in the privacy of her own room was more comfortable for her than worrying about waking her sister as her room was right off the kitchen.  Things were better for Elsa, but she still had periods where she struggled with sleep.

Not that Anna didn’t, she was just able to handle it better than her sister.

Anna put the beer in the fridge and joined Kristoff where he was sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard.

“It’s like a hotel room.”  He smiled at her as she settled beside him and pulled the box over pizza over.

“I know!” she laughed.  “It’s handy when you have a sister that has trouble sleeping.”

She opened the pizza box sitting between them and grabbed a slice as she took the remote and turned the television on.  “What do you want to watch?”

Kristoff shrugged his shoulders, grabbing his own slice.  “It really doesn’t matter to me.  Watch what you like, Anna.”

She flipped through the channels, trying to find something suitable as they ate.  After a moment of searching, she looked sideways at him.  “Do you like the pizza?”

He smiled at her.  “I do.  I’ve never had pineapple on pizza but I like it.  Salty and a little sweet is awesome.”

“Good, I’m glad.”  She turned her attention back to the idiot box and saw Alone on one of the channels.  She had a half a mind to flip to that, then thought better of it given what Kristoff had given up to be with her.  In the end she settled on a hockey game.

They chatted as they ate, mostly Kristoff telling her about his journey back, and Anna was unable to take her eyes off of him.  Actually, they couldn’t seem to keep their eyes of each other, and it wasn’t long before the pizza was tossed onto her dresser and they were kissing each other passionately.

They made love for hours.

-------

Every single noise kept Kristoff awake.  He was used to falling asleep to the muffled sound of fire cracking in his stove and sometimes the wind blowing against his cabin.  Once in a while the sound of animals in the night. 

Now he lay on his back staring at the ceiling, astounded that there were so many sounds in Anna’s house.  The click of the old thermostat in the hallway – heard even through her closed bedroom door – as it called for heat.  The rumble below them as the furnace ignited and the woosh of the warm air being pushed through the ducts, causing the sheet metal to expand and creak.  The old wooden house gave muted cracks here and there.   And that was just inside.  Outside it was completely different; a car driving by, the sound of a train whistle in the distance echoing off the mountains, a siren blaring on for only a moment before it went quiet.

Kristoff rolled back over and put his arm around Anna, burying his nose into the tangles of her hair.  It would take some getting used to, but she was there to soften every blow of reacquainting with the real world.

He felt it was a little hard for her to hear about his journey back.  It wasn’t pretty, he would be the first to admit that.  Trekking out on his snowmobile, hoping he had thought of everything with his desperate mind to get back that would keep himself alive on the journey.  He aimed to do it as quick as possible, not at all ashamed that he had to consult his map so much.  The last thing he wanted was to journey off course and make it even harder to get back to Anna.

He planned not to sleep, just drive the seven hundred or so miles to Nome in one tiresome trip.  Recent snowfalls however, made his progress much slower than he ever dreamed of.   With all the fresh powder, he had to dig his snowmobile out at least a half a dozen times, each time pushing him to the brink of exhaustion.  Having to stop and sleep, he built the biggest fire he could manage with his fatigued muscles trembling and slept hunched over his snowmobile.  He woke when the fire died for how cold he’d become and decided that even though the sun wasn’t up yet, he’d continue on.

He pushed the machine, going as fast as he could while maintaining his safety.  He made it almost all the way there when his snowmobile finally gave up the ghost.  Grumbling, Kristoff had packed from the sled whatever he figured he’d need into his backpack, threw on his snowshoes, and went on foot for the last forty or so miles.

He trudged on for hours until all of the sunlight drained from the sky and he needed to stop.  He built a fire in near complete darkness and sat down beside it.  He ate the last of his provisions; some mixed nuts, beef jerky and his very last can of peas.  With his stomach somewhat satisfied, he stoked the fire as big as he dared and laid beside it to sleep.  He woke up freezing every hour and needed to throw more wood into the fire.  When daybreak was once again barely on the horizon, he set again.

He finally reached a road by the late afternoon and managed to flag someone down to give him a ride.  Going into Nome his anticipation grew.  He was dropped off at a motel and Kristoff managed to barter with some firs he’d stuffed into his pack for a room.   The innkeeper ended up getting something he could sell for two hundred dollars and Kristoff ended up with the key to a little room that hadn’t been updated since the seventies.

First, he showered, relishing in the heat streaming down his body.  It felt amazing.  After he dried and dressed in some clean clothing and then went to the phone in the room and dialed his folks.  To say they were surprised was an understatement.  After a lot of tears from all three of them, Kristoff finally got to explain where he was and why he was there.  His parents were thrilled with all the news he had for them; that he was back, he’d be seeing them soon, and he was in love. 

After they talked for an hour and promised to wire him some money, Kristoff went to the credit union and got the cash they’d sent him.   He stuffed it in his pockets and walked down the street until he found a barber.  He got himself a shave and a hair cut and then went out in search of food.  Having finished the last of the food he’d packed himself the day before, he was starving.  The first thing he came across was a Subway, so he went in and ordered two sandwiches – glad the place was empty except for one other customer – and took it back to his hotel room.

He ate the sandwiches, not bothering even trying the television.  He would have no idea what to watch anyway.  The meatball subs were good, although very salty to his tastebuds for having eaten rather bland food for so long.  When he was finished, he slipped into the bed and fell asleep immediately.   He woke in the morning, a lot later than he would have expected due to his exhaustion, and left to find Anna.

And now he was sleeping with her in her bed, thinking about how noisy civilization was.  And as much as it bothered him, it was a far cry from the lonely alternative he could have chosen.  He smiled, hugged Anna tighter, and fell asleep not long after. 

--

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

[bonnieisaway]

Good morning ladies and gentlemen (it's 6:30 pm) guess who's here to overnalayze episode 1 of season 4 of scissor seven that's right ME

Okay okay I think this might actually be my new favorite episode in the series and I love it so much and I was thinking about it last night and talking about it to my friend this morning and I have THINGS!! TO SAY!!! about it

First off: this isn't as important but did anyone else realize that Blackbird was wrong about Seven's ambushes?

Like when Seven initially jumps for Blackbird he grabs Seven's sword and says this but

he's instantly taken off guard five fucking seconds later? And like yeah, this was something Seven could do cause of the Thousand Demon Daggers, but by all means the fact Seven kept DIRECT eye contact with him and took him off guard to make him drop Thirteen makes it seem Seven does think and act faster than Blackbird does. In fact Blackbird fights Seven the exact same way he did Thirteen, he drags both of them out of the clearing and into the forest - though he throttled Seven around A LOT harder - but Seven didn't lose track of Blackbird the way Thirteen did.

Side by side look at how much longer it took Thirteen to get out of his grip and recover - I know Blackbird is arguably more in his element when he's fighting Thirteen but just their reaction times alone, Seven's able to keep up with Blackbird running around him and Thirteen is struggling to keep sight of him. Their main difference is Seven's got much better reaction time and is able to keep up, but he's horrible at actually avoiding getting hit most times. He's so much more aggressive in this fight but also takes twice the beating, Thirteen spends the first half of this fight getting her sides clipped by Blackbird's whip and Seven literally almost gets his whole shoulder ripped out. Seven seems to know what to do a lot quicker and thinks fast compared to Thirteen. Especially since Seven had the opportunity to and realized he could use the light against Blackbird.

And as he does, I mean initially Blackbird can't even react quick enough, given the distance between them it's surprising Seven got this far,

And he changes direction faster than Blackbird can even react to his initial movement!

Blackbird genuinely loses sight of Seven here! And it's not like he couldn't seen Seven, he was perfectly visible and neither of them were facing the sunlight here, but Seven is just faster than Blackbird can react here

And Seven had time to wait here! Of course Blackbird doesn't realize what Seven is doing and turns around, but if Seven had been going to hit Blackbird from behind he would've! Seven spends a solid second or so longer here before Blackbird actually turns around, and Seven is able to move fast enough to blind Blackbird!

SECONDLY and I've actually seen nobody talk about this but Blackbird has his own art style. Not just like, for his flashbacks. Blackbird has his own fucking art style for when he's in control of the fight. And it makes me so mentally ill

I think I've mentioned before early on Scissor Seven is a little inconsistent art style wise, but definitely by the end of season 3 you can really tell they've gotten comfortable with and have settled on a style they like and work well with. And it's absolutely beautiful, which is why I was really confused when this scene was in the trailer:

because this is so clearly not their normal art style. To be specific- the line art is really intentionally sketchy and messy, you can evne tell they used a different brush than they normally do for coloring and line art, and the coloring and shading really has a 'colored sketch' look about it. And it's not bad, I love it! But it's so obviously different from the normal style and in the trailers I was wondering if the style was going to change again, but this is the only time it happens. And I realized why: this is an art style specifically for when Blackbird is in control. Let's go through this fight from this frame:

the moment Thirteen is dropped. So I'm going to go through this by the most important moves or actions they take:

So obviously Blackbird has a real solid grip on Seven here, but also noticeably I feel like Seven doesn't try to do anything with his sword as he's dragged,

But notice despite how far or close they are, every frame is noticeably clear and really just true to the art style this show takes:

but also this sketchy texture and style is a consistent motif in Blackbrid, even if the rest of the style is still how it normally looks,

Now look at the coloring on Blackbird-

and THEN we switch to this sketchy style, which is NOTICEABLY the same as Blackbird's flashbacks but just colored with clearer line art.

This background is still clear but notice even their smear frames are drawn like this, and if you've seen some of my other post this isn't how they normally draw smears, let alone switching brushes and adjusting the entire color palette for it, and this is where the worst part of the fight for Seven starts! This is where he gets hurt!

Which , these genuinely look like the deepest cuts Seven has gotten in a while- and now watch these frames:

NOTICEABLE. FUCKING. DIFFERENCE. The second, the second Seven realizes that he has an opprotunity here and that he can use the light against Blackbird, the art style turns back to normal!

I mean as this fight ends and Blackbird DIES we don't see this again outside of his flashback! The usual sketchy parts of his body change to another texture!

And I just, it makes me so happy that not only have they found an art style they like, and are comfortable with, but are so good with it to a point that they can play with the art style now for story telling elements! And I mean even as Blackbird screams and tries to kill Seven the art style stays, because even if Blackbird can't feel it and we don't know yet, he has definitively lost this battle and this will drain the rest of his energy and kill him before it will kill Seven!

This bird flying away- and Blackbird's last flashback- is the last we see of this art style.

and I just. RAAAAAAH I love this episode. I feel like I could go on more and I might later - I still really wanna know if there's a reason why they put so much emphasis into Seven switching hands when he's using the sword, given he's ambidextrous and it's never been focused on before, I think it might be because he's not using his scissors even though they're near but I'm not really sure. I can't tell if using his scissors over his sword would be more draining given his last attempt at them in season 3 knocked him out cold. GOD this show makes me so fuckin mentally ill

[mwabledrable]

Survivors Instinct

Chapter Two: A Day in the Life

Pairings: Eventual Daryl Dixion x (OC) Julianna Rhodes

Summary: The quarry has become a refuge for Julie and the kids, it provided everything they needed to survive. But it also became the home to many other survivors that tried getting into Atlanta, a routine is established and life is getting back to normal, well, as normal as it can get.

Warnings: Curses, gore, children

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

-Oscar Wilde

"Sit Still," Kara mumbled looking up from the bottle that was feeding the thirteen-month year old toddler broth. Julianna had Catherine in between her legs as she braided her hair. Julianna liked to keep the girl's hair up and out of the way in order to keep the dead ones from grabbing them by their hair, she did the same for herself.

"I'm trying!" Catherine groaned, looking at Kate. "But it tickles."

Julianna chuckled as Catherine wiggled in her seat. Carter, the thirteen-month toddler, begins to giggle as Kara makes silly faces at her, "But it'll keep you safe, Cath."

Julianna hummed in agreement, ever since she found the five kids in a school near Atlanta, Julianna had promised herself to do everything in her power to protect them.

"Kids!" Lori yelled, Carl and Sophia already next to her, "Time for chores." Julianna nodded her head to the girls, encouraging them to go on and do their chores. The end of the world and the kids are still doing the chores, Julie thought it was unnecessary, the dead are walking around and eating people, but the children are doing chores instead of learning to defend themselves.

Not her children. No, they are learning to use knives, they are learning to punch and kick. She is going to teach those kids under her care to survive.

Julianna stood, dusting her bum off and made her way to her campsite. When the radio started to make static. "Hello. Hello. Can anybody hear my voice?"

Amy, who had been keeping herself busy by collecting firewood, dropping the bundle to the ground to race towards the radio. Dale jumped up from his lawn chair to help as the ground all turned their attention to the only outside voice they'd heard in a long time come through the speakers. Amy grabbed the receiver, trying to contact the man. The man asked if Amy could hear him to which she replied the affirmative but as he kept talking it became obvious he couldn't hear her even though she could hear him.

"If anybody reads, please respond. Broadcasting on the Emergency channel. Will be approaching Atlanta on highway 85. If anybody reads, please respond."

Julianna shook her head. Atlanta was a death trap and he was heading right for it. Amy cursed at the lack of response from the man.

"He couldn't hear me," she directed up at Dale at her side. "I couldn't warn him."

"Try to raise him again," Dale instructed. Lindsey left Carl's side, walking to Amy and Dale at the radio. "Come on, son, you know best how to work this thing." Shane dropped his axe blade down onto the stump, Amy jumping at how close it had come to chopping the radio in half. Shane took the receiver and tried his hand at contacting the mystery man.

"Hello, hello. Is the person who called still on the air?" He let go to wait for a response. "This is Officer Shane Walsh broadcasting to person unknown. Please respond." Nothing again. Shane set the receiver down. "He's gone."

Lori looked around for an instant.

"There are other. It's not just us." There was no doubt other camps and other groups of survivors. But it was no telling how far or how many there were. Supplied were running on the lower side as it was.

"We knew there would be, right? That's why we left the C.B on." Shane nodded to it. 

"I've been saying for a week we ought to put signs up on 85 to warn people away from the city." She had said and Julianna agreed with her 100%.

"Folks got no idea what they're getting into," Amy joined the side of her friends.

"Well," Shane sighed. "We haven't had the time."

"I think we need to make time," Lori pushed. The more people that would go into the city and get killed because they hadn't put up signs whittled away at Julianna's patience.

"Yeah, that- that's a luxury we can't afford." Shane scratched at his growing beard. Julianna shuffled away from the radio, closer to her girls and boy and the rv because she wanted anything but to stand right in the middle of an argument. "We are surviving here. We are day to day."

"And who the hell would you propose we send?" Dale asked the real questions.

"I'll go," Lori volunteered. "Give me a vehicle."

"Nobody goes anywhere alone. You know that," Shane reminded them exasperatedly. It was always an argument, always a squabble.

"She wouldn't be," Julianna cut in, defending her friend. There wasn't any way she was going to let her go alone even if it meant she'd go too.

"Really?" Shane scoffed. "You'd never held a gun before all of this, let alone shot one." Julianna kept her mouth sealed shut.

If only Shane had any idea what Julianna was capable of.

[stardustandash]

Last of the Febuwhump fics is here! Prompt is Killing in Self-Defense. Pre-Jedi Fallen Order & kinda dark, I hope u like it!!

Words: 2000

Tags: Blood, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Emetophobia, Child Death

ao3 Link

Is It Justified?

The village is dusty, dirty, and silent. It feels lonely through the Force. Cal doesn’t like it. Every whisper of the wind, every creak of a door in its frame, puts Cal on edge. He drifts father and father behind his men. Twitch and Sunny are bickering back and forth in front, and Arson, Nix and Patch flanking them on parallel streets.  They were droid hunting after the big battle, or they were supposed to be. Cal suspected Master Tapal had assigned Cal and his squad this task since it was so far from the battlefield and gave them little opportunity to get into trouble. The village, though on a Separatist planet, had been abandoned before the battle started, and Cal didn’t know what use droids would have for it, aside from some cover. But it wasn’t as if they needed to stop for healing or rest. Any droids would be long gone back to the Separatist stronghold Master Tapal had gone to investigate.

Still, Cal can’t help but be on edge. There’s something he’s missing. His hand drifts towards the hilt of his lightsaber, the cool metal of the grip a comfort. At least he isn’t hanging off of Sunny’s arm on missions anymore. He’s twelve, almost thirteen. Too old to be scared by empty villages and the wind. Master Tapal had even said that he was thinking of letting him lead his squad on his own mission on the next campaign. If he got scared now, then he’d never get to prove himself.

The Force pulls at Cal. A stinging wrongness that adds to the unease. Neither Twitch or Sunny seem to feel the same as their blasters hang loose in their grips to the point that Cal should say something about attention or duty, but finds the words stuck in his throat and taken by the wind.

Cal feels the Force nudging him towards a narrow path between the houses. There’s something there. He glances ahead to Twitch and Sunny and debates whether he should say something. Even before the thought finishes forming his ears turn red with embarrassment. He can handle whatever it is. He has to. It’s probably just some kind of rodent or a pet left behind. He creeps towards the space, one hand on his lightsaber and halfway to unhooking it. There’s a small sound of something rustling or shifting and Cal swallows down his fear and jumps out of the space into the street beyond.

A girl stares back at him. She only comes up to his shoulder and her head is a mess of dirty blonde hair. A battered brown stuffed toy dangles from her hand, so ragged at this point Cal can’t tell what it is supposed to be. She looks up at him with fear in her eyes and Cal is so taken aback he almost ignores the warning in the Force.

The Force screams, and Cal turns with his lightsaber in hand to meet the threat. A man stands towering over him with a knife in hand. Cal doesn’t think, he just reacts. The green blade of his lightsaber appears on the other side of the man before Cal even realizes he’s run him through.

The girl screams. It’s wordless at first but it eventually forms into anword Cal can recognize: “Papa!”

Cal’s stomach drops. His lightsaber falls from his grasp. The man lets out one last, groaning breath as he collapses, still and unmoving.

The girl rushes to her father’s side with tears running down her face. Cal’s mind is both blank and chaotic. He steps forward, wanting to offer apologies or comfort or something to the girl. He’s so off guard he doesn’t see the glint of metal nor feel the warning through the Force. He only sees the girl’s face harden as she throws herself at him. She tackles him around the middle, and Cal is taken aback at the movement. She’s wrapped him in an odd sort of hug, except her fist is uncomfortably trapped between them. When she staggers back Cal can see the blood on her hands. Her father’s blood. Guilt settles uncomfortably in his stomach. He killed someone. He killed a girl’s father right in front of her. The guilt burns in his stomach. Cal presses a hand against it and tries to take a shaky step forward.

“I’m sorry,” says Cal, voice weak and wet. “I’m sorry.”

The girl raises her bloody fist and Cal sees the glint of metal. At the same time he becomes aware of the wetness on his fingers where they are pressed against his stomach. It takes his mind a minute to connect those two things. Cal’s knees go weak and he stumbles, not quite sure where he’s trying to go. It doesn’t matter, as he doesn’t get more than one shaky step before he’s falling to his hands and knees. Distantly he registers the sound of blaster fire and a soft thump just as his arms give out and he faceplants onto the dirt.

There’s the sound of duraplast boots running towards him and then there are hands flipping him over and Cal’s looking up at Sunny. His helmet is off, Commander Gamut would yell at him, but Cal is glad that can see Sunny’s face, even if it’s twisted in worry. The others stand around them with blasters ready. Arson has one hand on the side of his helmet and Cal can hear him faintly as he comms out.

“General, Commander Gamut. We have a situation in sector two-three-five. Commander Kestis is down, we need a medic immediately.”

Cal can’t hear the other side of the conversation, but he feels the clones around him tense.

“I don’t know if we have that kind of time, Sir,” says Arson in a tight voice.

“Don’t pay attention to them Cal, you’ll be fine,” says Sunny as he pats Cal’s face. “You didn’t get stabbed anywhere important, so you’ll last long enough to get medical attention.”

“Sunny, not helpful,” growls Twitch.

“What?”

Cal blinks. Sunny is getting a little blurry and his eyes slide past him as his neck goes limp. There are two unmoving lumps in his vision. One is small, with a smudge of blonde hair. The girl. Cal remembers the sound of blaster fire and a sick feeling rises in the back of his throat.

“Hey, hey, eyes on me, kid,” says Sunny. His hand cups Cal’s face and turns him away from the unmoving bodies.

“I got a stim,” offers Patch. “Won’t do much but it’ll keep him going until a medic can make it to us.”

“It won’t hurt,” says Nix.

There’s a pinch, then a cool sensation slides over Cal. Everything snaps into clarity and Cal’s thoughts start screaming as his stomach starts burning worse than anything he’s ever felt. He groans and tries to roll, but hands stop him. Twitch and Sunny are holding him, their hands burn against his cheeks and his stomach.

“Let me up,” Cal begs. “Let me up.”

“Not a chance, Commander,” says Twitch.

“The General and Gamut are on their way to our position,” adds Arson. “You just focus on staying alive for now.”

Cal feels the dampness in the corner of his eyes and tries to blink it away. His stomach is burning and all he wants is his room on the Brave, with his soft, non-regulation blanket and his stuffed tooka and the feeling of a thousand lives around him in the Force.

“Oh, you’re alright kid. Don’t worry. We’ll get you patched up in no time. And if not, well, it’s not like you’ll have to worry about it,” says Sunny as he thumbs a tear from Cal’s cheek.

“Not helping!” says a chorus of similar voices.

Cal almost smiles through the pain, but his eyes once again fall on the still bodies next to them. With the stim in his system Cal can see the blackened holes in the girl. Blaster bolts. They’d killed her. To save him, yes, but they killed her. Revulsion burns in his throat and his stomach heaves. Twitch barely manages to get Cal onto his side before he vomits up what rations he’d had for breakfast and a spattering of blood. He coughs, then gags again as the movement tears at the bloody hole in his stomach. Tears are streaming down his face in earnest now, whether from the pain or the sorrow at being the cause of two needless deaths, Cal can’t tell. The brief bout of clarity from the stim is wearing off and his thoughts are starting to go fuzzy around the edges again.

He can hear Twitch and Sunny murmuring platitudes to him but he can’t focus on the words. Everything is too much. Too loud, too painful, too sad. Even the hand rubbing his back feels like its grating his skin, yet he doesn’t want it to stop. The smell of bile burns in his nose from his own sick and Cal wiggles as far back as he can from it while trapped in place by the two clones.

Cal tries to collapse into himself, to try sinking into that meditative state where the world feels far away. What he probably does is pass out for a while as he comes back to reality with tears staining his face and a familiar comforting presence in the Force blocking out everything but the feeling of safety. Cal reaches out blindly until his hands feel the soft, worn fabric of Master Tapal’s robes and he clings to them with all the strength he has left. Master Tapal pulls him into his arms, and when Cal’s brain catches up to his body being maneuvered, he is held tight against his Master’s chest where he can hear his heartbeat and feel his Master’s support through the Force.

“It is faster if I take him to the medics than wait for them to arrive,” says Master Tapal. Cal feels the words rumbling through his chest rather than hearing them with his ears.

“Sir!” a chorus echoes around him.

Then they are moving. The motion doesn’t hurt or make Cal sick. Instead it soothes him like the rocking of a boat. He turns and tucks his head into Master Tapal’s chest. The guilt is still eating at his stomach, as if the knife pressed it into him and it’s spreading from the hole it left behind.

“Peace, Padawan,” Master Tapal murmurs.

“I killed them Master, and they didn’t have to die,” mumbles Cal. The words are no doubt muffled by the fact that Cal’s face is pressed into his Master’s robes and thick with emotion, but he knows Master Tapal understands anyway.

Master Tapal walks on silently for a minute. Cal frets internally in the silence. What if Master Tapal doesn’t want him anymore because of what he’s done. What if he’s done so much wrong he can’t be a Jedi anymore.

“They are dead because of you, yes,” says Master Tapal slowly. “They did not have to die, and their deaths are a tragedy. It is good that you feel this way. However, they attacked you, they hurt you. If it is a choice between you and them, I want you to pick you every time, Padawan. The only way to hold the line against the darkness is to be the line. If you die, the darkness wins.”

“Yes, Master.”

“I will give the same talk to your men as well. When you are better, we will also meditate on this topic.”

Cal nods against Master Tapal’s shoulder. The words haven’t done much to ease the sick feeling in his stomach, but he’s also too tired to focus much anymore. The arms holding him tighten around him and the swaying cadence of Master Tapal’s steps increases. He sinks into their warmth and the comfort offered. He doesn’t feel better about anything, but at least his Master is here, and Master Tapal always knows what to do.

[hellokatzchen]

Day 1: Midnight at the library

Anthony quite literally stumbled over her in the library. "Shit, sorry–" He realized who it was huddled in a ball. "Kate?"

"Bridgerton," she choked out. Her breathing was shallow and there were tears running down her face. It was obvious to Anthony that she was having a panic attack.

He crouched beside her, a hand reaching toward her before he froze. "Can I touch you?" He winced at how that sounded. "Nothing weird! Just– my sister Eloise found it comforting."

Eloise was the one with their father when he died of anaphylaxis almost five years earlier. She'd been five and nearly inconsolable for weeks. The panic attacks started a couple of months later and Anthony, dutiful older brother just trying to lessen his mom's burden, learned everything he could about how to support her.

Kate nodded shakily and Anthony dropped down next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and rubbing her arm in a comforting pattern. She leaned into him heavily, breathing ragged. After a moment, she spoke again, "Can you talk to me? Please?" Her voice was hesitant and so small– not right for her at all.

"I never wanted to date your sister," Anthony blurted out. In his defense, it was the first thing that came to mind. He dropped his head back against the bookshelves hard but kept talking. "You were acting so unaffected and ignoring me and I wanted–" What? Her attention? His neck and ears heated with embarrassment. "I don't know, to get a response, I guess, but I took it too far and I'm sorry.

There was a long moment between them where the only sound was her breathing. "I'm sorry too," Kate admitted, voice still quiet but stronger. "I know I overreacted. You're not even Eddy's type."

"Please, I'm everyone's type."

"Trust me, you're not." She snuggled a little closer. "Tell me about your family."

"Well, I have seven younger siblings. My mom has an event planning business we all help with on weekends."

"What about your dad?"

"He died when I was thirteen. It was really sudden."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Mine died a couple years ago too. Cancer."

"Sucks."

"Yeah." The grief was palpable. Suffocating. Thankfully Kate broke it, "What was your dad like?"

"He was the best. He loved us all so much. He worked hard but also made time for each of us individually. I didn't mention but there's two sets of twins in the family and he would always make sure each got their own time and attention." Anthony closed his eyes. "I hate that Hyacinth, she's the youngest, never got to meet him. It's so unfair."

"It is," Kate agreed, "but at least she has the rest of you. When you never knew a parent… you don't miss them like we miss our dads. It's more like being told a story you can never truly understand. If they loved horses, you wonder if you would've done equestrian or if you might've vacationed at a dude ranch instead of the beach." It was as if she could sense the silent question Anthony didn't dare ask. "My mum died when I was three. Car accident during a storm– I was in the backseat. Mary, Eddy's mum, is my guardian now."

"I, uh… I didn't know that."

Kate shrugged a little self-consciously. "Why would you? Mary's the best, though. She's basically my mom."

Her breathing seemed to be back to normal, so Anthony untangled himself from her. "Here, let me just–" He went to the librarian desk and grabbed several tissues.

He handed them to Kate when he returned and she wiped her face. "How do I look?"

Her eyes were still red and her eyeliner was smeared but the only word that came to mind was striking and Anthony knew better than to say that. "Maybe wash your face before next period," he suggested with a lopsided smile. He offered her a hand to help her off the floor.

Kate accepted his help with a small thanks. He tried to shrug it off but she shook her head. "No, seriously– thank you. You didn't have to be so nice."

And all he could think was that it'd never occurred to him to do anything else.