#as a ridiculously clumsy person myself I feel seen by this ask lol

[leftski-if]

I really love RoC! (Mags, my dear~) if you have time for asks, how would ros react to a really clumsy mc. Like "how did you even trip, there's literally nothing there".

Thank you very much!

Assuming the MC is unharmed as a result of their clumsiness, Ruokar would mostly laugh it off while helping to clean up any mess that may have come of it. He’s rather clumsy himself at times and so it doesn’t strike him as particularly odd -- it’s just another thing you have in common ;)

Magreth, having lived with Ruokar his entire life, is similarly accustomed to clumsy behaviour. He would ask the MC if they were okay, but otherwise shrug it off and pay it no mind. That is unless the MC were embarrassed or upset, in which case he would try to reassure them. Possibly by pointing out that he has indeed lived with Ruokar his entire life and so it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before.

Mint, on the other hand, tends to fuss. She would initially get caught up in a sweeping surge of “oh no!”s and “are you okay?”s, but once she’s satisfied that all is well, she’s happy to move on, although she may be keeping a close eye on the MC for the next few minutes. If the MC were to remind her that she regularly falls off ladders and so shouldn’t be so worried about them, she would insist, “but this is different, because it’s you!”

Freja would find such clumsiness odd but also endearing in a way. She’s the most likely to actually incredulously say, “how did you even trip, there's literally nothing there“, but ultimately it just strengthens her resolve to be there for the MC to assist with any tasks that require finer coordination. She thinks that, perhaps if she sticks especially close, she can try to catch you the next time it happens.

[soundsaboutrighttumblr]

Okay, meta of the scene in ep 5 between Shu Yi’s Dad and Shi De.

Shame on me, because I have to digress at the very beginning even, because that piggy back scene reminded me of something Sam said in an interview, and that is that Yu’s body felt soft to the touch, like a cat’s, and that it is totally a good thing. In the way he molds himself to Shi De’s back, and later slithers off him into the bed, I must say, I totally see it, what he means, and I am loving it. He’s probably very good at winding himself out of your hold when he doesn’t want to be there, and fitting himself to every part of your body when he wants to. Bendy, non-resistant, viscuous, long, warm limbs, I can just imagine the morning stretches. And yeah, I would totally try to pet him, even at the dangers of scratch and bite.

Back to topic:

That scene with Dad. I laughed out loud several times, it is amazing, but also heart wrenching and a psychological roller coaster of course, but I loved how the acting toed the line between serious and comical at times. How Shu Yi’s Dad seems so much like Shu Yi in some moments, when he angrily stalked over towards a wide-eyed Shi De – with Shu Yi on his back-, or later the end of the scene, his impulsive face journey, and how you can see where Shu Yi got his bearings and mannerisms from. Great choice of actor, great acting, I laughed so hard.

On to the psychological ride that is this scene:

So, we’re still digesting the piggy back ride with Big Cat Shu Yi, and there he comes, Dad, dorky and enthusiastic and overbearing, already in Shu Yi’s apartment, with food and presents, but so happy to see his son.

And he comes face to face with a doe eyed, clumsy looking, caught in the act-mannered Gao Shi De, and of course that phallic symbol in Dad’s hand has to be broken for effect (You know, the phallus shaped snack that Shu Yi really likes, that Shi De will take to him later?).

And the music and all plays into the comedic aspect, but also into the role that Shi De takes on here, which is to a point calculated, I believe. It’S the playing weak he will be accused of later. He still tries to win Dad over by playing a more submissive role, not offending his pride, but allowing for his authority, still trying to maybe appease him for Shu Yi’s sake, to make him maybe come around without having to play hard ball.

Dad prowling over menacingly, shushing him, only to take the shoes… yeah. Laughed. His priority is his son, even if he is misguided about what he needs to protect his son from. A thought: The relatives, not the love of his live. But, of course, that is easier said than done, because Dad, too, is entangled in family and corporate webs.

But first things first, Shi De takes his big cat to the bedroom, and this time the statue and rabbit on the window can look on, because nothing scandalous is happening, the snow globe with the Statue of Liberty seems gone, no more freezing American secrets to disturb, it seems.

And is this the look of a man wo just decided that he wants to marry the one sleeping in front of him, again, and over once more? Yes, it is.

It is also the look of a man, who decided to try and win over his fiancé’s dad once more, because even if he knows Shu Yi will stand at his side against him, the happier future he wants for Shu Yi would be with Dad on their side, because despite it all they are close, so close they share mannerisms and face journeys.

So, he showers, in Shu Yi’s space probably owned by Dad, washing off past mistakes, preparing to be his best self when meeting Dad downstairs again. Also? Making Dad wait for him, what a power move, Shi De is capable all right.

When he finally comes down to meet Dad, he takes on the role of a more submissive junior again, polite and respecting authority, because he is the one who asks something that Dad thinks it is his to give, and thus hehas the disadvantage, or at least wants to appease Dad by making him feel that way.

He plays along Dad’s rules, apologizing for breaking a promise that was a set up from the beginning, and he knows.

He presents the documents of his ‘worthiness’, humbly apologizing for them to be lacking in Dad’s eyes. Dad keeps eating, not paying back any of the respect he is shown, still to caught up in his entitlement.

Dad’s remark of it being the betrothal presents is meant to ridicule Shi De’s efforts and love.

Shi De gives him one last out, when he overlooks the tone, and just says yes. You can see it as my dowry, being totally honest and unoffended, as a move of power.

And Dad falls into his trap, out of arrogance, out of underestimating Shi De. Ridiculing something, that is not his to judge, laughing. Entitled: You are never getting into my family.”

Edit: for further intricacies about dowries and betrothal presents in Asian cultures, go here a post by @noona96n​ that gives more sense to it. I’ll leave my take before reading here nonetheless, because the gist is there, lol. But that reading of the beginning of the scene with the documents and the dowry and dad’s entitlement makes more sense. 

And that is when Shi De changes course.

Leaving the submissive pose behind, sitting down at the table, an at least equal partner at the bargaining table.

And what he says, that he can let Shu Yi into his own family, because they are accepting him with open arms? It is a strike that is powerful, proving that equality, if not superiority.

It reminds me of when Shi De said in their first encounter after America, that he will accept the deal, because he knows Shu Yi will never be happy without his father’s approval.  Dad should have seen it then, maybe he did and forgot, and underestimated again.

Shi De is a psychological menace when it comes to bargaining and debating, and don’t you make the mistake to underestimate that. Now they are playing hard ball.

Because he brings Shu Yi’s happiness into it, something he knows is something Dad cares about deep down, even if he is misguided how it should look like. It also plays into parental duties and responsibilities and being a good parent, supporting your child and accepting and loving him for who he is.

He appeals to Dad’s guilt over that, all the while putting him in his place, because he, Shi De has that love that loves Shu Yi unconditionally and wants what makes him happy, he has parents that will love him and may take Dad’s place if he does a job that is lacking.

t’s also a hit to Dad’s fear of losing Shu Yi, that he admitted to in the bar, when saying not only daughters can leave their families. He treatens to take Shu Yi away into a new family.

Shi De builds himself up as Dad’s equal here, with a love that is true for Shu Yi, and also one that chooses Shu YI’s happiness. He’s saying, if they are to be competitors for Shi Yi’s love, Shi De might just come out winning, so Dad should rethink his course.

And Dad realizes then, that he has underestimated Shi De, he has leaned back in his chair while Shi De leans forward. He’s not laughing anymore.

Shi De is very confident in enunciating the syllables, leaning forward, no cowering in his eyes any longer. Everything about his posturing is dominant now. Demanding respect, not asking for it any longer.

So much that Shu Yi’s Dad is backed into a corner, offense his only defense: Are you threating me?

Now it is Shi De who is laughing. What a terrifying opponent in a negotiation. Business man and alpha males through and through… ah, alpha, wasn’t that the project that Shi De… anyway.

Shi De’s reaching out an olive branch, trying to soothe the situation for politeness sakes. All instruments in the psychological engineering of that scene.

And Dad has to give that credit, even if he gives it the tone of an insult.

“You played weak before.”

I am not sure if he means Shi De portrayed himself as weaker than he was, or if he meant play dirty. In any case, he misjudged Shi De. Edit: I think it means playing dirty. Which dad has done, too. Edit’s Edit: Although @noona96n post on the japanese subs ead in me into an iterpretation of playing weaker than he is again... I am torn. both, both is good.

And Shi De again pretends not to hear the tone, just takes it as face value, not letting Dad getting personal. But also, Shi De delivers a lethal blow:

Reminding Dad again, that yes, Shi De played that game for Shu Yi’s happiness, thus having the moral higher ground, but also reminding him that yes, he chose to play the game that way, dirty if he must, with all the capabilities he now proved to have, and that he is not afraid to sacrifice on personal levels, or his pride, to get what he wants, which is ultimately a happy Shu Yi.

Also reminding him of the emails, how dirty he COULD play, leverage that Dad until now maybe thought he still had, but that Shi de now holds over him.

You can see how Shu Yi’s dad doesn’t have anything to set against that. So, he just turns to an insult, trying to put Shi De down again.

But Shi De twists it in his mouth, taking it as confession, just to rile up Dad. Then calling him Dad/Father-in-law, to remind him that with how things are looking now, this is the foreseeable outcome of their future, one where Shi De gets his way and Dad doesn’t.

Edit: @noona96n‘s post on the japanese subs and marriage and family in Asian culture led me to believe that Dad’s scolding of calling Shi De an ungrateful creature/child, as if he was in fatherly position to do so, made Shi De trap him with the question, if he had accepted the marriage/Shi De as his child, and he calls him Dad. I also think that Dad was really impressed by Shi De’s negotiation Skills, and maybe because of that slipped up like that... For those interested, sometimes we have interesting conversations in the comments and notes, lol.

I correct myself; I think that was the lethal blow, lol.

And Dad can only turn to blind rage, lashing out with anything that comes to mind. How the incident in the company still might cost him that future with Shu Yi. Hm. Sus.

You know, the incident, where someone maybe paid a lot of money to destroy/test Shi De’s company and future, by stealing the title alpha, ahem, project alpha from him, only for Shi De to rebuild what alpha means from the ground up, out of his resources, to present it to Dad’s company? Yeah, am I getting this right? Metaphors and all?

Anyway, Shi De has his capabilities and team and support to trust he will resolve that matter, so he is not in the slightest intimidated by that veiled threat.

He concludes by turning back to politeness, thanking Dad for his criticism/warning and paying back some respect to his authority, by bowing and promising to not let him down. Being the bigger man and all.

Then he steals the food Shu Yi likes, that Dad brought, out from under him. Because he CAN.

Yeah, that frustrated face journey by Dad is everything.

But. Maybe someday, when he gets over his pride and anger, he will even be impressed by his future Son-in-law, because yeah, Dad just met his match on a psychological scheming business war-fare level. He got his a... handed back to him.

He HAS to see how that will be good for Shu Yi to have in his corner, eventually.

Edit: After reading @noona96n ‘ post on weddings and family in Asian culture, I believe that interpretation fits the beginning of the scene better, but I do think once Dad rebuffed Shi De’s ask to marry into the family so harshly, Shi De really went into ruthless negotiation mode, to prove to Dad who thinks him unworthy of his world, that he can scheme and negotiate with the best of them, it is not a negotiation of Shu Yi’s future as much as they are pithing their negotiation skills against each other, and I believe Shi De succeeds in impressing Dad, which leads to Dad’s slip up in scolding him like achild, also maybe letting slip he knows of the stolen project, even though everyone has signed confidentiality agreements.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #308

“you don’t need treats, and you don’t need tricks, and you don’t need me.”

Middle name? Marie. Or Marie Catherine, if we're technical, but as someone who loooong left Catholicism and never even agreed with many aspects of it in the first place, I don't like to include it. If you're confused, there's a ceremony called Confirmation, and while I honestly don't even remember the details of it, you adopt the name of a saint you want to stand for, kinda. I chose Catherine just because I liked the name outta my other options. Democrat/republican/other? I classify myself as Independent because I really don't relate well enough to either, but I do know I'm becoming more and more liberal with time. Do you dress according to your mood? My mood? No. I dress with what I feel like wearing at that time, but my actual mood has nothing to do with it. Are you good at doing hair/make up? No. Are you always worried or stressed about something? 24/7, my friend. Can you swim? Yeah. Are you afraid of needles? I don't like them, but I'm not afraid of them. How many kids do you want? Zero. Long/short nails? I keep mine short. Do you like wearing hats? No. Does mall Santa Clauses or Easter bunnies freak you out? Nah, I loved seeing Santa as a kid. :') Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am RIDICULOUSLY clumsy. Do you like when a guy picks you up in his arms? In concept, but I ain't easy to pick up anymore lmao. Do you like hairless cats? I do!! Females, anyway, for... obvious reasons lol. Not having fur makes some things waaay too ~obvious~ otherwise. I would love a sphynx. Do you like the color yellow? No; it's actually one of my most disliked colors. Have you ever seen a cat have a hairball? Yeah. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? Not by a dentist, no, just by myself as a kid when I was losing my baby teeth. When someone says don’t look do you look? It depends on why they're telling me to not look. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No. If you had to name three important details about you, what would you say? I'm a very emotional person, I need a lot of "me" time, and to be aware of my social anxiety so not every interaction I have is perceived as just a dumpster fire. What are your three biggest insecurities? My creativity, my goddamn body, and my lack of social skills. If you could write anonymous letters to three people, who would you send it to and what would you say? Ummm. I can only think of people I miss and don't WANT to be anonymous... Favorite photo of yourself? A senior prom picture I don't have anymore. I looked so, so happy and fuck my low self-esteem, gorgeous. Who are you disappointed with right now? I'm like, permanently disappointed in myself lol. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No. My minimum is 21. What question do you hate to answer? "Are you a virgin?" because it's just a confusing answer. It doesn't sound like one at all, but trust me on this. The subject of sex just makes me uncomfortable anyway, so even if I was confident in the answer, I wouldn't want to talk about it. What’s your most listened to song? I don't have a way of actually finding that out, but I'd say I've been listening to "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli quite a lot lately. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? I mean, I don't know. It would depend on what was going on in my life and head at the time. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A nice car for Mom. She's had the same shitty car for yeeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss now because she just can't afford a new one; hell, this one was free. A dance friend hit a deer, so the front of the car is messed up, and she bought a new one, but because the car itself was still functional, she gave it to my mom. Mom is so loved at the studio. The car just has various issues by this point, like trouble starting, accelerating, it's bumpy, etc., so it's way past time for a new one. Do you like licorice? NOOOOOOOOOO that's a big 'ole "ew." Have you ever visited your country’s capital city? No, but I've seen it from a distance when riding up to NY. When was the last time you were outdoors for over an hour? WOW. I couldn't even try to guess. What is the shortest amount of time you’ve lived somewhere? The house I was born into. I actually don't know how long Mom and Dad lived there, but I was only in that house as a very little baby. I have zero memories of it. What’s your favorite kind of mint? (Peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc.) ... There's a difference? lol I guess peppermint? What was the last thing to frustrate you? I wanted to draw yesterday, but I didn't know what to draw to even get started. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Did any of your family members serve in WWII? I don't believe so? Well... maybe my grampa did? I don't remember. What’s your favorite kind of salad? Gimme an Olive Garden salad and I will deadass eat the whole bowl. Are you more realistic or idealistic? I'd say I'm more realistic with most things. Are you currently borrowing something from someone? No. Is anyone currently borrowing anything from you? No. What is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? Ireland. When did you last buy a new pair of shoes? What kind? I got new flipflops a year or so back because my old Rainbows were so worn out and blackened my feet. Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling? If so, where? No. Are you able to see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't checked since moving here. We're in the suburbs though, so it's questionable. Do you include your middle initial in your signature? Not unless it's required, usually. I think. When's the last time I physically signed anything, anyway? What brand of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro. What operating system does that computer run? Windows 10. What’s the oldest piece of clothing that you still own and wear? I don't really know, given how much my weight has fluctuated. Went drastically up, went down, now it's back up. .-. I still own a handful of shirts I want to "shrink back into" from late HS and early college times, but yeah, I don't know if I'll actually achieve that. Is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous? Flat as my ass. What is your significant other or best friend’s ring tone? No one on my phone has a "special" ringtone. Where do you keep your hair brush? There's a comb I use in a drawer in the bathroom. Which pair of shoes have you owned the longest? Multiple pairs of Converse, also from high school. When’s the last time you were sick at the same time as someone else? I'm very happy to say I don't even recall the last time I was sick. My immune system is the fuckin GOAT. What did you have for breakfast this morning? A pb&j. We've got very little rn, but thankfully Mom's picking up our Wal-Mart order today. Last time you were in pain? If I'm standing, you can bet my legs hurt, so. What color is your mom’s hair? It's growing back totally gray now. Is that also your hair color? Well, no, I'm only 25. Do you watch any daily vloggers on YouTube? Who? No. I watch people who vlog occasionally, but not regularly. It's gotta be people I'm very into to really be interested in vlogs. What room of your house do you usually do your surveys in? Sigh, I'm always in my bedroom. Really hoping Mom and I muster up the motivation to clean up the extra room soon to turn it into my "dayroom" or "office," if you will. What do you put on your tacos? I hate tacos. What is your favorite stuffed animal and where did you get it? I have a bittersweet connection to the adorable plush meerkat Jason gave me for Valentine's our first year together; I always slept with it when we were together by apart, and for a year or so after the breakup. It was a source of comfort for me, so I'm really fond of it. Fella's fur is so worn out and matted down with age and lots of love. He's on my dresser now, towards the front of all my plushies. Last thing you hung up on your wall? My Illidan poster, I believe. Do you have a full length mirror? Yeah, on the back of my door. Is it currently raining? No, finally. It's been raining for like a fuckin week, it seems like. It's finally a clear day. It's nice to hear birds outside. Does anyone you live with talk in their sleep? Does this happen often? I'M the one doing the talking/screaming in my sleep. Thanks, nightmares. When was the last time you cried, or felt tearful? I'm not positive, but I know I had a pretty rough PTSD night not too long ago where I teared up. Did you wake up with a song stuck in your head today? What was it? Ohhh yes; I've been listening to Mother Mother's "Ghosting" on repeat because it's jammed up there. When was the last time you used moisturiser or lotion of some kind? Not too long ago on my hands. They get dry this time of year, and besides, I wash my hands a lot nowadays especially. What was the last thing you owned, that was accidentally broken or damaged? Were you able to get it fixed? My laptop, and yes. Tell me about the last dream you recall having. Was it weird, amusing, etc. So this is pretty wild. I know I had a nightmare last night, but I don't remember it; the night before, however, I had a nightmare about a possibly rabid and ginormous rat (I mean like, smaller dog sized) in the house and trying to bite me. It was SUPER weird, because I was actually afraid of it, yet I absolutely adore rats in real life. What was the last video you watched on YouTube? I've really gotten into John Wolfe (a let's player) lately, and I'm going through his The Evil Within playthrough. Do your parents use any social media at all? My mom has a Facebook, and hilariously, Dad has a Snapchat to talk with my sister Nicole. He has no clue what he's doing with it and it's adorable, haha. Mom also has a Twitter, but she doesn't use it. Is there anyone in your life who regularly asks how your day has been? Regularly, no. I've always been that person, especially in the WoW guild I'm in. I'm very close and comfortable with them and ask how everyone's doing any time I log on. Lovely people who give me some social interaction every day. Tell me something positive about the day you've had. It's still early, but once again, it's pretty and bright outside. Why do you prefer Facebook over MySpace, because I know you do? Ha, you'd be incorrect. MySpace was more personal, so I actually preferred it. But it's obviously long-dead, so I just settle with Facebook. Have you read the Pretty Little Liars series? No. My sister looooves it, though. What product do you use to moisturize your lips? I don't remember, actually... It's in my purse somewhere. When did you start using Xanga? I never have. Be honest, do you judge people on their appearance? Judge, I don't think so. I can make assumptions like everyone else, but I'm not gonna think someone is beneath me just by their attire. Do you know anyone who does not like The Beatles? Me. At least, most songs. "Hey Jude" is good, but everyone agrees with that, haha. Did you have a friend in middle school that you’re now enemies with in high school? I'm long since out of HS. I had a middle school friend who I disconnected with following a fight in high school, but we weren't "enemies," and we reunited our senior year anyway. Aaaaand we're not friends anymore once again lmao. What is one thing you hope your children don’t inherit from you? If I hypothetically wanted kids, God knows I'd hope they wouldn't have my psychological issues. Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? It'd be nice, anyway. What type of foundation do you wear? None. Who’s the most controlling person you know? Someone I'm no longer friends with, partially because of this. Do males look good in skinny jeans? Yep. Are you for or against guyliner? Ugggghhhhh guyliner makes me weak in the knees. How many jobs have you had? Where do you currently work? Three; nowhere. Who did you last hit? Um, nobody??? What way of self-care do you enjoy the most and what feels more like an obligation? I enjoy my alone time on the computer as the best self-care, especially after being social all day; I don't, however, enjoy the act of performing hygiene care. I still do it, it's just not fun. The feeling afterwards is great, though. Have you ever tried specific diet plans or fads? What made you do it and how did it turn out for you? I was briefly using NutriSystem, which didn't work for me. I hated too much of the food. More recently I stuck with flexible dieting and calorie counting for a while, but I drifted from it when I still lost no fucking weight in like a month. I want to get back to it, though... oh, and intermittent fasting. I don't think it really worked for me yet again, even though I did it correctly, but that and the aforementioned flexible dieting is all I feel like I can handle. I guess I just have to give it longer. Do you know anyone who has been directly affected by COVID-19 e.g. testing positive, losing a loved one, or their job due to the pandemic? Too many people I know have had it or had someone they loved die because of it. Take this shit seriously. Is there a kind of music you only prefer listening to during specific type of activities that you otherwise wouldn’t enjoy under normal circumstances (e.g. EDM while doing sports or instrumental music while studying, etc.)? No; I have to actually enjoy the music. If you had to start a YouTube channel and motivations/skills/resources/any other inhibiting factors weren’t an issue, what would it be about? Either animal (preferrably reptiles) education or let's plays, ig. Has anything ever happened to you that if you told someone about, they would think you’re making it up? I don't believe so. What travel destination or popular spot have you been to that you found overrated? What about a lesser known place that you thought was a hidden gem? I really don't know; I haven't traveled nearly enough for this.

[prettywordsyouleft]

You Didn’t Let Me! - Part 4 (Final)

Summary: It took you three guys to realise you had been running from love all along. When you finally meet up again at a university reunion, you weren’t prepared to answer the question of who you wanted most.

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun x Park Jinyoung x Lee Seunggi x reader

Genre: romance / angst / self-growth au

Warnings: three hot guys and y/n’s an idiot lol none

A/N: This was initially meant to be a oneshot for the Trick, No It’s My Treat dares. However, the storyline suited being broken up and so I have made it into a mini-series. I hope you enjoy!  

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

You had never been one for parties like this, yet you hadn’t seen everyone in so long either. Five years had passed by and your university decided to hold a bash for all previous students. Raisa had been on your case about attending for weeks after receiving the invitation, and eventually you had agreed, hoping for the most of it that it would be a good night.

And so far it had been. You had caught up with classmates you hadn’t seen in years, giggling over engagement rings and pictures of families. You had heard of the failures and successes of those you once spent hours within lecture halls all trying to achieve the same goal. And you were able to share your own, even laughing at the once failed moments in your life.

Perhaps your jubilant mood was why it came as a surprise when he approached you later into the evening. You hadn’t been avoiding anyone, you had finally grown into who you were as a person now. In fact, you hadn’t seen him at the party until he stood before you, those dark eyes of his scrutinising you once again.

You didn’t know if you had missed that look or not. Still, you smiled. “Park Jinyoung.”

“Y/N,” he greeted, hands thrust deep into his pants pockets so you couldn’t shake them. Would you even cope doing so? He hadn’t changed much. Even in his dress shirt, you could see his well-sculpted body filling out every part of the fabric over it. Your smile grew, he definitely was still one of the most attractive people you had ever crossed paths with.

“I need to ask you, after all these years, why you disappeared back then.”

You blinked away from your daze. He was guarded, and yet he implored you to tell him all the same. Clearly the puzzle you left behind really bothered him even after all this time.

“It’s silly really,” you admitted, looking down at your dress to smooth it down a little. Why did he still make you feel feeble? You had been so hopeful for his attention back then, even if he made you feel clumsy every time. You squared your feet in your heels, focusing on remaining upright in his presence. After deliberating things, you let out a sigh. “I had a crush on you.”

Jinyoung’s eyes flashed with several reactions and he jerked forward, pulling a hand out of his pocket to run through his raven hair. He then let out a laugh before turning back to you. “You knew I liked you!”

“What?”

Jinyoung laughed again, moving closer. “What trainer gets that close with someone? Heck, Y/N, I could have been fired for how affectionate I was with you. That was why I stopped our sessions. It wasn’t anything to do with how clumsy you were, I found that strangely adorable. I told you to come see me that day because … because honestly! How did you not know?!”

“You dropped being my trainer because you wanted to see me out of the gym?”

Jinyoung looked at you as if you were the slowest human on Earth. And for a moment there, you felt just like that. Blinking sluggishly as you processed it all, you looked at the man who was now clearly aggravated. You cringed. “I thought you didn’t like me, and you seemed so good with that other client that I got jealous and then doubted myself … I can’t believe you liked me.”

“How did you not realise?” Jinyoung whined and before you could reply, someone else did for you.

“Because Y/N is the type to be completely unaware of the other person’s feelings.”

You looked at who had stepped into your conversation, Jinyoung now eyeing Kihyun carefully. However, the newcomer was only staring at you. “She had no idea just how much I liked her either.”

“No, you liked Raisa,” you pointed out, your head beginning to throb from all of this. Just where did Kihyun even appear from? You were having a hard enough time dealing with knowing Jinyoung had liked you.

Now you had another confessing his feelings? It made no sense.

“I didn’t like Raisa that way; she’s like a sister to me. We practically grew up together. But Y/N I liked you. I was awkward with you because I liked you. And when you started coming around and helping me with my meals, I tried so hard to impress you. Still, you kept referring to me as your friend. I even called you my girlfriend to see what reaction I would get out of you.”

Jinyoung’s eyes flashed with annoyance then, lips pressing firmly together as Kihyun continued. You shook your head. “I reacted and I was going to tell you how I felt but then you called me just a good friend. What was I meant to think after that?”

“Did I come before or after him?” Jinyoung suddenly asked and Kihyun scoffed.

“Listen, aren’t you the guy who used to work at the campus gym? I came first; I’ve known her since high school.”

“Clearly, you didn’t work hard enough. Unlike me,” Jinyoung stated, the ghost of a smile curling his lips. Then he looked back at you and let out a heavy breath. “Though I guess at the end of the day, we’re in the same boat. Y/N didn’t realise either of us liked her.”

“Until now,” Kihyun concluded and you stared back at them both before letting out a small laugh.

“Guys, it’s been years. Surely, you’ve moved on.”

“Of course we have,” Kihyun announced and Jinyoung shrugged. “But there’s always mysteries in life worth solving. One of mine has always been why you didn’t choose to be with me.”

“Have you figured out what you need in life now, Y/N?”

You clamped your eyes closed; you hadn’t expected this at all. When you opened them again, both Kihyun and Jinyoung were eyeing Seunggi exasperatedly.

Jinyoung laughed bitterly and pointed to the third member of this conversation. “Another one you didn’t know liked you?”

“No, Y/N was well aware I liked her, in fact, we even dated.”

The annoyance was immediately clear and for a moment you didn’t know what to do. You weren’t one to drink, but you sure could knock back an entire glass of champagne right now with how ridiculous this was all becoming. This was the last thing you expected to happen at the reunion tonight.

“Y/N?” Kihyun prompted and you blinked out of your multiple thoughts of how to escape this situation. “What’s the deal with this guy?”

“Co-workers turned lovers, wasn’t that it? I guess I was too much with my envision for our future,” Seunggi announced and you rubbed your wrists awkwardly.

“Seunggi, it wasn’t… oh my god. Five years, guys,” you mentioned and none of them were pleased with your reminder. “It’s been at least five years.”

“Humour us then, over the past five years or more in some cases, I’m sure,” Seunggi offered and Kihyun nodded whilst Jinyoung simply stared at you, the three all more than frustrated to know there were loose ends with all of them. “Have you thought of any of us?”

“Well-”

“Did you ever think, wow, Kihyun and I would have made a great match?”

“We’d be married by now, I’m certain of it,” Seunggi added on and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. He wasn’t ready to voice his own opinion, though you could see it there under the surface.

“Did you all just decide to crash the reunion over this?” you asked tentatively, trying to smile. “I’m just some girl who messed up royally with all of you. If anything, you should not want to be chosen by me.”

“Still, like this guy Kihyun here said, there’s always mysteries in life worth solving.”

“I had never dated anyone, that’s the answer. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“Yet you managed to have three guys in the very least fall for you at one point or another,” Jinyoung finally admitted and the other two nodded.

“Well, Y/N, what are you going to do about this?”

“I…”

“Seunggi is right, surely you can solve this very easily,” Kihyun chimed in over you, causing you to swallow back the remaining parts of your sentence. Jinyoung didn’t speak out loud but you could feel all of his disappointment and frustrations as if he had spoken them just now.

You took a step back.

“You’re not going to run from this, are you?” Seunggi wondered, stepping forward. It was a game of cat and mouse, your troubled shuffles backward only causing the problem to follow.

No, there was no escape.

“I…” you started again, eyes wide with concern. “Won’t choose any of you.”

“What?”

“Because you can’t decide?” Kihyun surmised as Jinyoung scoffed loudly.

“If I was meant to be with any of you, it would have happened,” you said with conviction. Turning to Kihyun, you smiled. “I was too naïve back then. I thought you could read how much I had crushed over you and was so embarrassed when you couldn’t. I had no experience in love.”

You then looked at Jinyoung. “You were someone who I wanted to be with and yet I doubted who I was to even match you. To me, you were the unreachable dream. No guy as gorgeous as you would like me back. So I gave up before it even could begin.”

Seunggi was waiting for your answer for him. “By the time I got to you, I knew love would be something I’d have with you. You were obvious and I wasn’t as young and foolish by that time. Yet, I had never experienced a simple romance either. One where you fumbled around and just had basic expectations. With you, it was clear you had painted out a future for us. And whilst I knew you’d wait for me to catch up, I was too overwhelmed to try.”

You could see them all processing what you said, Kihyun opening his mouth, only to close it again.

“I’m sorry but I’m also more apologetic to myself. Meeting you all here again makes me realise just how lowly I thought of my worth back then. I had to learn a lot and whilst I might have been a mystery to you all, each of you helped me understand what I needed to go through or fix about myself in order to find love with myself. I realised it didn’t matter what age I was to experience dating for the first time. I just needed to find the right guy to do that with once I was certain I could love myself first.”

“What’s this all about?” a fourth person asked curiously and whilst the sombre mood was softening, the three guys looked towards him, and then back at you.

“Another one?!”

You smiled, shyly slipping an arm around his waist. Glancing down at you, Brian kissed your forehead gently before smiling at the others. “Looks like I’m the right guy.”

“You’re dating? Why didn’t you just say so from the beginning?” Kihyun mentioned and you shot him an incredulous look.

“I feel so stupid now,” Seunggi added on, looking at you both before walking off with Kihyun, slapping him on the shoulder and offering to buy him a drink.

Still, Jinyoung remained. “Really Brian?”

“Wait, you both know each other?” you asked, looking between the two of them.

Brian grinned, shrugging lightly. “We might have been roommates in university at one point.”

“You knew I liked her!”

“Sue me for having an interest too,” he commented, and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “I just happened to cross paths with Y/N again when it was meant to happen.”

“Unbelievable,” Jinyoung muttered as he walked off to join the others at the bar and you glanced up at your boyfriend curiously.

Brian chuckled. “What?”

“How long were you listening in?” you wondered and Brian moved to wrap his arms around you, trying to play coy. You gasped and slapped at his back. “You were there for most of it, weren’t you?!”

“Well, it doesn’t take long to go to the bathroom, Y/N.”

“Why did you allow it to drag out so long?! I was so flustered!”

“You once told me you wanted to face the guys of your past that you didn’t let have a chance with you so I was allowing you to do just that.” Brian then frowned. “I was worried there for a moment though.”

“Worried over what? And why didn’t you tell me you knew Jinyoung, you sneak!”

“Does any of it matter? You chose me in the end.”

“I chose myself, you just happened to be the person who I couldn’t pass by.”

“Do you wish you had of known that the other two liked you? Maybe you would be married to Seunggi by now.”

Shaking your head, you stepped up on your toes to kiss him briefly. “No, I know I was foolish back then and scared of love. Now, I’m all too happy with where I am.”

“With me?”

You smiled. “Well, I let you in, didn’t I?”

_________________

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[minphoric-blog]

Winter Accidents

↠ Prompt: I’m terribly clumsy around snow and ice, but you’re always there to catch me when I fall.

↠ Genre: Fluff|Slight Humor|

↠ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

↠ 1.5k Word Count / Boyfriend AU

↠ A/N: Hello! This is my very first scenario ever. I really hope it turned out better than I anticipated lol. I would love to know what you guys think of this particular piece, so feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading~ Also, if you’re wondering why I put “slight” humor it’s because I’m incapable of being funny when I actually try. Oh, well.

Why did it have to snow? You went to bed with the news that temperatures would drop below freezing through the night, and there would be a likely chance of snow, not to mention ice. You hoped that (like most occasions) the meteorologist’s predictions were wrong. Because where there was snow and ice, there were accidents bound to happen— accidents concerning you. So as you sit on your couch in the living room the next morning, glaring out the window at a world blanketed in glistening crystals, the same question wracks your brain: why did it have to snow?

“Y/N?” Your attention slips away from the devilish winking outside, eyes now locked on familiar ebony orbs, and then, on a mug of swirling coffee being handed to you. “Why do you look so upset?”

“I look upset?” You ask, hands eagerly wrapping themselves around the heated glass. Your boyfriend simply blinks, the answer obvious through his silence as he plops down on the cushion beside you, nearly making coffee slosh onto your thighs. “I− do we have to go out today? Can’t we just stay inside and be lazy?”

Confusion blooms across his features, eyebrows drawn together as questions form in his eyes. Then, ever so slightly, his gaze shifts to the window and back to your own. And as the corners of his mouth begin to twitch with bubbling amusement, you know he’s caught onto the reason for your reluctance to leave your shared apartment. Yet he still seeks to hear you say it, “Are you afraid of the snow?”

“Jungkook, I’m not afraid of the snow. I’m just afraid I might…embarrass myself.” Your eyes once again find their way back to the pale streets, ignoring the smile growing on your lover’s face. You knew he’d think this was funny, and Jungkook being the way he is, would most likely drag you outside just to see you struggle for his personal entertainment.

“We agreed on going grocery shopping today no matter how bad the weather got. There’s barely any food in the fridge,” You feel him inch closer to you on the sofa, arms brushing against each other’s as he softly kisses your hair. “Don’t worry, Y/N, I’ll catch you if you fall.”

All you can do is sigh knowing you have to keep your promise— either that or starve. “What if your hands are too full with groceries or you’re too far away to catch me in time?” He laughs at this, chest vibrating against your side, and hugs you closer to him. You can’t help but admire how his doe-eyes crinkle when he grins, and how his laugh is so contagious, making your heart flutter beneath your ribs.

“Well,” he says, bunny teeth still showing, “I guess I’ll just have to throw my body under you to break your fall.” Now you’re the one giggling, shaking your head at Jungkook’s ridiculousness.

“All right, we’ll go,” you stand up, taking a sip of the liquid energy you’ve been neglecting, and turn to walk down the hall to the bedroom. “I need to get dressed so we can hurry up and get this over with.” You can hear more chuckling as you vanish around the corner.

Outside is so chilling that even the three layers of clothing you’re wearing on your upper body can’t protect you. A thick, wool scarf tightly wound around your neck and the lower half of your face, but somehow the cool air seems to seep through the fabric, making you shiver. And once a gust of late January wind beats against you, you pull the winter jacket snugger over the sweater and long sleeve underneath. 

At this point, you’re already debating whether or not you should turn back inside, safe within the weather resistant walls of the apartment. Thoughts like, ‘we could last a few days without food.’ and, ‘I remember there being a bag of chips and some leftover takeout still in the kitchen that we could ration until the snow melts.’ are streaming through your head, but you know you’re just being difficult.

Glancing to the right, you notice Jungkook doesn’t seem to be cold like you are. His eyes are shining while he watches the white flakes dance about with the breeze, lips somewhat pouted in awe at winter’s beauty. Seeing him this way makes you build up your courage, throw away your dismay, and take the first step down the stairs leading to the sidewalk. 

Step after step, you’re doing okay, Jungkook following behind you in silent wonder as you successfully reach the street. You have a second to think, ‘this isn’t so bad.’ before your foot collides with a tiny patch of ice and you’re suddenly falling backwards towards the frosted pavement. Expecting your butt to connect with the ground until a pair of confident arms hook below yours and help you back upright.

“See, I said I’d catch you if you fell, didn’t I?” You were expecting something like this to happen, anticipating this very moment, yet it didn’t shock you any less. Blushing as Jungkook took up the space beside you and locked your arm through his for support; the two of you began walking again.

“Thank you,” you whisper, too embarrassed to speak any louder, “I almost died there.” Why must all your coordination fly out the window when snow is involved? Meanwhile, others such as clumsy children can run around and play in conditions like this with no worries. But you? No. Snow only meant near-death experiences for you and you hated it. As if Jungkook could hear all of the things going through your mind, he leans down to feather a kiss on your icy cheek.

“Babe, it’s okay,” he assures, “you’re not the only person who has a hard time in the snow. Besides, it’s cute when you get flustered.” Another heart-stopping smile flashes your way, making you beam as well.

“Cute, huh?”

“Yeah, really, really cute.”

“Ah, I see. You want to know what I think?” You challenge, looking up to meet his gaze.

“What do you think?” He asks. A second flurry of snow presses against your forms, resulting in closer huddling as you continue on your journey to the store. It’s surprising to realize you haven’t slipped again after so long, but that’s the least of your worries, redirecting your attention on the current conversation.

“I think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” It’s his turn to blush now, eyes widening and cheeks heating up in the faintest shade of pink at your abrupt declaration. He’s never heard you call him beautiful before, and although that’s not necessarily the adjective he’d use to describe himself, it still affected him. Not only that, but he wasn’t expecting you to say it in public, even if there aren’t any people around to cringe at the cheesiness. 

Jungkook’s head quickly snaps up towards the crystalline sky, lips quivering in an attempt not to smile. Suddenly, you’re left unable to look away from his radiant appearance. No matter how long the both of you have been together, he never ceases to stir up a twister of pure adoration within your chest. You know the reason for this is because you love him. His hand print is forever embedded on your heart and you couldn’t be more grateful. 

And just then, when he opens his mouth to reply, the fates decide to wreak havoc on the pair of you— ice unexpectedly morphs below your shoes, gravity pulling you to the ground once again. But this time, with Jungkook still jumbled from your previous statement, he doesn’t react fast enough to catch you or to even hold himself up as you yank him down with you. Landing smack on your tailbone, Jungkook following immediately after and wincing in pain. You can’t help but laugh at the situation, hands clutching your stomach when you witness his startled face gaping at you.

Through the sharp intakes of breath and the building tears, you manage to say, “Looks like you couldn’t catch me that time.”

After a few seconds of utter astonishment branding his face, a smile begins to surface. Humor lilting in his voice, he responds with, “I realize now that this is going to be a long trip.” But all teasing aside, he’d be okay with nearly breaking his tailbone on ice again, just as long as it was with you.

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

You might not be answering since this is from a bit of an old post. Swooping Evil, Glumbumble, pixie, mooncalf and ghoul.

Okay, so first off, THANK YOU lovely anon for sending me this!!!! I love getting asks! And also THANK YOU for actually scrolling back through my blog to even see this! Cause like this is from a while ago! So this is from this Harry Potter Magical Creature Themed Ask. Alright, so here we go!

Swooping Evil: In what way are you often misunderstood?

Hmmm, I feel like I like to think that I’m just an incredibly misunderstood person *sigh* but honestly, I don’t know if that’s just me being overdramatic or if that’s actually true lol.  

I’m often misunderstood by people who don’t realize that I’m being sarcastic, which is actually quite unfortunate because it causes a lot of problems.  

Like, apparently I look like someone who’s very sincere/innocent (or so I’ve been told) and I come across as kind of shy and sweet (lmao I know) especially to people that I’m not close with.  And, I have a very wry sense of humor, like my sarcasm is pretty subtle/dry and I say it pretty straight-faced, and I feel like my sense of humor is a bit more sophisticated/subtle (that’s what one of my therapists told me anyway) and so people don’t always get whatever joke I’m making, and then on top of that, they think I’m this sweet little goody-two-shoes innocent thing who is Sincere™ and all that, so they get all taken aback when I’m sarcastic.  They either think they’ve severely offended me or they think I’m being a bitch or they just feel incredibly uncomfortable because they think I’m being honest.

And then of course, I always make everything considerably more awkward and ten times worse by trying to explain my joke and proceeding to talk myself into a giant hole (thanks anxiety).

So, an example of this is how when I was 14 I had surgery on my neck/throat and for several years I had a pretty noticeable scar across my throat.  And I used to be super self conscious about it, so I’d try to joke about it anytime someone commented on it.  So whenever someone asked me what the scar on my neck was, I’d look them straight in the eye and be totally nonchalant/casual and say something like “oh I got into a knife fight but it’s fine you should see the other person” or “I was kidnapped and held hostage at gun–well technically knife–point, but like it’s fine ‘cause the police killed the guy in a shootout so it’s all good.”  

And let me put this in perspective, I was literally the most innocent 14 year old ever.  Like, I went to an all girls school, I wore bows in my hair pretty much every day, I never wore makeup, my entire wardrobe was pink, I was a total goody two shoes, I never understood any innuendo or dirty jokes, I didn’t even know let alone talk to any boys, and I didn’t swear.  Like, I was so innocent (see the photo below of 14 year old me for reference)

So it was so completely outlandish/absurd because there was no way it was true.  So I’d say that as a joke because lmao have you seen me?  But like, so many people legitimately believed me and got all freaked out.  And eventually I told them I was being sarcastic, but it was always fun to see how fucking gullible some idiots were lol.

So yeah, my humor is often misunderstood.  And that example’s pretty innocuous but other times my sarcasm has actually caused legit problems, like with people getting mad at me (one of my teammates and former roommates got offended by something I said (though she never told me what it was specifically I did to offend her so much, but I’m assuming it was something I said sarcastically that she didn’t understand and just assumed was me being rude because in all honesty I’m pretty nice to people and I go above and beyond out of my way to make sure that I don’t ever say anything offensive or that could hurt people’s feelings (since I’m an oversensitive bitch who obsessively overthinks/freaks out/worries/gets hurt by about absolutely everything, I figure that other people might be that way too so I should do my best not to hurt them (and then of course my anxiety + overthinking leads to me being overly cautious not to hurt people’s feelings or say insensitive things))) and refused to talk to me or even acknowledge my existence for almost five months, which was actually a really big fucking pain in the ass because we saw each other literally every day and there are only 15 people on the team but whatever).  Wow that was long, lol sorry

Glumbumble: What’s something that makes you really melancholy?

A lot of things lol.  I mean, I have a shit ton of mental illnesses/disorders, BPD and depression included, so I spend a lot of time being pretty melancholy lol.  Like stupid little things trigger me.  Though I guess being melancholy is different than being/feeling depressed, but honestly, I can’t really tell the difference.  Because I don’t really just get a little bit sad/melancholy.  I get severely depressed.  I don’t experience any small emotions, everything for me is turned way up to the extreme (thank you BPD you fucking bitch).  I don’t feel things a little bit, or halfway.  Everything is intense.  So like, if being melancholy is different than being depressed, assuming it’s less intense, then I don’t really know what it’s like because I don’t really experience it.  When I’m sad, I don’t just feel melancholy/blue, I feel catatonically depressed and suicidal.  So yeah.  Sorry that doesn’t really answer that and that was probably waaaaay TMI.

Pixie: Do you like play tricks on people?

Not really.  I mean, with my roommate/(former)best friend I always loved to sneak up on her and jump out at her.  But honestly, I only did that because she legit screamed and fell out of her chair every single fucking time.  And it was hilarious.  But other than that, nah I’m not really a trick playing kind of person.  Like, I’ll be sarcastic and play tricks on one or two of my friends by pretending that we had an assignment/test that day.  But really, I only did that with one or two specific people and it was a joke that we always had because they never paid attention in class and always asked me what the homework was and saved everything until last minute and was just all around super lazy. 

Mooncalf: How adorable are you?

Well.  Here’s the thing.  When I was a child I was absolutely adorable.  Like 100% adorable, most likely the cutest child in the room. And like, not just cute looking, but apparently I was super friendly/bubbly/happy/cuddly/sweet/etc. (I say apparently because I can’t fucking remember being that way, hell I can’t even remember the majority of my childhood but that’s a whole other story, but that’s what I’ve been told by all the adults who knew me as a kid).  And also, I said/did super cute things and I loved the color pink more than life and always wore bows in my hair.  Like I’m not joking I was the fucking most adorable thing ever.  (lol I don’t know what happened)

Allow me to prove this point.  

Now please forgive me for posting so many pictures, but I like to reminisce about the fact that once upon a time I was actually cute. Like, I honestly don’t know what happened.

As for now, my current level of adorableness is in the eye of the beholder.  So basically, to some, perhaps I am adorable but it truly is a question of taste lol.  

Aesthetically/physically, I don’t think I am even remotely adorable. Personally, I actually think I’m pretty ugly to be honest (years of self hatred and mental illness tend to do that to you).  But I guess to other people I’m probably not absolutely hideous or anything.  As for general adorableness, it depends who you ask.  So like, to some people perhaps my quirks/oddities are adorable but to other people I’m just crazy as fuck.  I personally of the opinion that I am a complete and total loser lol.

I still love pink.  And I still like wearing bows/flowers in my hair.  I also have this pink piggy hat that I got in middle school that I wear during the winter (my friends all make fun of me so much, but honestly I think the hat is fucking adorable and it’s warm and I don’t care if I look stupid) So on that front, maybe I’m adorable to some people.  But it could just as easily be seen as childish and stupid.  

Now I have some…erm...quirks that could maybe possibly be seen as adorable in some instances.  Like I have this ridiculous thing where I snort when I laugh.  I personally find it unbelievably unfortunate and unattractive but several of my friends have told me it’s endearing and that the boy that falls in love with me (lol let’s be real, that’s never going to happen) will think it’s absolutely adorable.  I also make the most ridiculous little cat squeaking/squealing noises when I get hurt or am surprised or when I fall down (same with the unfortunate laugh; I personally think it’s embarrassing and unattractive like no other, but I have friends who disagree).  Which is another thing, I’m clumsy AF.  I trip and stumble and fall a lot.  I am personally of the opinion that that’s not even remotely cute, but some people have said that it’s cute/endearing.  

I also get really really really distracted by fluffy animals (dogs especially) and will literally stop talking mid conversation to point out a squirrel and go say hi to it (I’m legit like the dog from UP), and I must pet every single dog/cat I see.  And I will legitimately have extensive in depth conversations with dogs (I worked as a dog walker over the summer, and one time I accidentally butt-dialed my mom and left her a four and a half minute voicemail of me talking to the dog I was walking lmao)

And I get super enthusiastic about things.  And when I’m excited I absolutely lose my shit.  Like I get so excited I squeal and jump up and down and talk at 10,000 words a minute.  When I smile when I’m super happy, I legit look like a fucking chipmunk (I’ve been told this by numerous people on numerous occasions).  Sometimes when I’m super excited I get so hyper and I do a little excited happy dance and hop up and down and wave my arms because I can’t contain my excitement.

I have this awful habit of always singing/humming under my breath because I always have songs stuck in my head.  And I literally cannot stop myself from singing along to songs that I like.  Also I have a really good memory for song lyrics and lines/quotes, and whenever someone says something that happens to be a line from a song, I literally cannot stop myself from bursting into song and singing the song that they inadvertently quoted. (I have a particularly large repertoire of songs from broadway musicals).  And I love different accents and dialects and stuff and I do them all the time, and sometimes I don’t realize that I’ve accidentally switched into some other accent mid sentence.

Basically, I’m a lot like a small child.  So if you find that endearing, then you might think I’m adorable.  But if not, lol I’m a fucking crazy loser.  Anyways, here are some pictures from the past couple years, so you can judge yourself whether or not you think I’m adorable.  As I said before, I personally am of the opinion that I am a massive nerd and I am unbelievably uncool and I literally have zero social skills and I am weird as fuck and the definition of a loser.  But you can judge for yourself.

(me pretending to be all edgy and cool with my fake tat sleeve at my high school graduation party but I’m legit wearing a fucking flower crown so...)

(for no other reason than the fact that I wanted to climb a tree)

(btw all this money is from a fundraiser for the community service club, which I was co-president of, and my friend and I were counting it to see how much we raised)

Wow that was fucking long.  Sorry about that lol

Ghoul: Is there something you do that really annoys people?

Oh definitely.  I’m pretty sure that I’m a highly annoying person.  Hell I annoy the crap out of myself most days.  But the first thing that comes to mind is my ridiculously deep sleep and subsequent alarm clock paranoia.  That has driven all of my past roommates nuts.  Basically, I am always in a state of severe sleep deprivation because I spend waaaaayyy too much time doing my work (I’m a perfectionist + I have ADHD + OCPD + a learning disability + lots of other super fun psychiatric disorders which means that basically I don’t fucking sleep).  And when I finally do sleep, I pass the fuck out.  Like I’ll legitimately sleep for 32 hours straight (yes I know that’s not even remotely healthy).  And the problem is that some of the medications I take make it so that I cannot sleep.  So I have to take another medication so that I can actually sleep.  But it knocks me the fuck out, and it makes it really hard to wake up.  And the problem is that I have shit I need to wake up for, like classes, team practice, or because I have a shit ton of work to do.  And I know that I’m a super heavy sleeper and I get soooo paranoid about sleeping through my alarms and missing classes/other things I need to go to (it’s happened a lot) so I set literally over 70 different alarms on my phone for when I need to wake up.  I’ll start the alarms about an hour before I need to get up and have one every ten minutes, and then once it gets closer to the time that I need to wake up, I have an alarm literally every other minute.  And I literally keep the alarms going for hours and hours after the time I’m supposed to wake up in case I totally slept through the first set(s) (it’s happened).  And because I’m so terrified of sleeping through things, I tend to just not sleep, which of course makes it worse when I finally do sleep.

Basically where I’m going with this is that I am a fucking pain in the fucking ass. I sleep through my alarms and literally don’t even budge and they just keep going off for hours.  Yeah.  It’s not good.  I know it’s a problem.  My roommate last year, who was also my best friend, would bring out her angry man voice when my alarms started going off.  Her voice would go all low and super angry and she’d say my name really loudly and I swear that would wake me up like nothing else because I was fucking terrified of her.  She’d bark out my name and I’d instantly wake up and start apologizing while wildly fumbling to shut off the alarms (and then of course I’d fall back asleep the second I turned a bunch of them off and have no memory of this whatsoever because I wasn’t actually awake it was just like an unconscious stress response to her man voice and then this would happen again a few hours later when my alarms went off again).  And I always apologized to her so much over this, and we’d laugh about it (when neither of us were trying to sleep) and about how her grouchy/angry man voice is so low and how I’m legitimately terrified of it.  Plus she did tons of really annoying/bad shit as a roommate so she couldn’t get too mad at me.  She more just got grouchy when she was trying to sleep, which is totally understandable.  Plus I know I’m beyond annoying like that, and I feel awful about it, but it’s a medical problem and I can’t really help it, but I am working on it so :/

Wow this was crazy long and way more information than anyone wanted to hear, and frankly, I doubt anyone will even read this (which makes it even more absurd that I spent so fucking long writing this but whatever).  

Anyways thank you for sending me this ask and sorry for taking a while to answer it and for also giving waaaaaaaaaaaay TMI on it.  I hope you have a lovely day!

Lots of love,-Lia