#as a person with tactile trauma reading these characters were really important to finding a way to live with it

[cozyteacups]

am i the only one who is bothered when they see kanej fanart that has them being super tactile with each other? it’s like neither of their traumas with touch are acknowledged and it gives me the ick. and the highlighted boundaries and accommodations they set with each other are made irrelevant even though they’re so intertwined with the way that the interact, show affection and love each other. :/

[blindbeta]

Blind / Low Vision Person’s Review of “Blind” by Rachel DeWoskin and Why Writers Should Not Underestimate the Benefits of a Sensitivity Reader

[Content warnings: spoilers for the book. Ableism. Brief mention of an accident involving eye trauma. Mentions of suicide. Stereotypes about blind people. Also this review, because I focused on the portrayal of blindness, comes across negatively. Please know that I have no hate for the author and might even read another book she wrote. However, I did not like the way this book portrayed blindness and, as difficult as it is, I wanted to be honest in my review.]

I struggled with the title, and I’m not even sure benefits is the appropriate word. What I want to convey here is not Brought to You By Big Sensitivity Reader Company vibes, but more This Book Was Not Good and It Needed a Sensitivity Reader Very Badly vibes.

Blind is about Emma Silver, a high school student who goes blind in a traumatic accident. Here is a good summary and review by a blind person. I listened to the audiobook, which was narrated well. I’ll start by saying this will only be a review of the portrayal of blindness — I’ll try to leave my other opinions out just to keep things focused.

Unfortunately, focusing on just blindness means that it will not make this review more positive, because this book is about a blind girl recovering from going blind. In a way that is both inauthentic and swerves well out of the author’s lane. I say that because, as I hope will become apparent, this book consists of main character Emma being sad about being blind for the majority of the book. The book doesn’t simply have a character who goes blind. That is the main character’s entire arc.

This is a long review. However, I believe it will be invaluable for my readers and anyone who is interested in writing a blind character. Because this book passes most of my minimum standards for writing blind characters and was still lacking due to many factors, including stereotypes. I included many sub-headings so you can find specific topics easily.

Helpful Links

I include these links in the review. I’ll list them here for easy finding.

Here are two reviews of the book by blind readers: one and two.

Here is a video of the author talking about some of research she did for the book.

Here is my post Things I Want to See More Of / Less Of.

Here is my post about writing a blind character adjusting to being blind and being all sad about it when you aren’t blind yourself.

And finally, here is the post I shared that lists misconceptions about blind people.

The Author

The author, Rachel Dewoskin, is not blind. I did as much research as I could, but even if I hadn’t done so before reading the book, it was obvious she wasn’t blind herself. There are too many inaccuracies and offensive moments. This becomes a problem not because her MC was blind, but because she told a blind person’s story and used tropes in ways I think would be better off written by a blind person. If I’m going to read a story like this, I don’t want to read it from the perspective of a person who isn’t blind. When I get into the details of what went wrong, I hope you’ll see why.

Did the author do her research? Yes. The author met with blind people, clearly researched assistive technology and cane skills, and even taught herself contracted Braille. She talks a little about it in this video.

In fact, I wanted to say I am so impressed and grateful this author immersed herself in things like Braille and cane skills. None of my followers have shared that they went to a Lighthouse For the Blind or taught themselves to read Braille or spoken so passionately about why they loved it.

But sometimes research falls short. Or it is simply not enough.

That’s why I’m writing this review. For you writers writing blind characters when you aren’t blind. Because while the author clearly had good intentions, while the author clearly did her research and put in the time to learn and listen in ways I don’t think many of my followers have yet — the book was not authentic enough for me.

This book needed several sensitivity readers. If it had any, I would be surprised.

The Cover

The audiobook seems to have Braille on the cover, but I can’t tell if it is accessible or simply a picture of Braille. The cover features the word Blind in white print on a black background, with what seems to be Braille in rainbow colors that also spell out the title. I’ll reserve judgment here, since I don’t know the answer. If the Braille is tactile, then the cover is fantastic.

In the video I linked, the author seems to be holding the hardcover edition of the book with Braille on the cover. I can’t tell if the Braille is actually tactile or not.

What I Liked About the Book

I wanted to list a few things I liked about the book.

1. The main character is Jewish.

2. Emma has a large family full of well-developed characters and realistic portrayals of various ages. Everyone reacts uniquely to her blindness and I thought these characters were all used well. The scenes with Emma and her older sisters as well as the scenes with her mom were really great.

3. Emma gets therapy for her trauma. She also gets training to use a cane. These are annoyingly rare in stories.

4. As I said, the author clearly did her research. This is obvious when reading the book and In everything I found when researching the author after I finished it. I want to give the author praise here. I thought her explanations of technology Emma uses were the most accurate I have seen so far, both in books and when doing sensitivity reads.

What I Didn’t Like

I will start with this: Emma, after a year of learning to use her cane, is still using a cane inside her own house. After a year. This is not realistic, nor does it seem comfortable at all to use a cane in one’s own home. I don’t know anyone who does this and according to the other reviews, I am not the only one who was surprised by this.

Basically, this story would be okay with some inaccuracies. That’s to be expected. The real issue I had with this book was that it uses tropes the blind community generally hates and that the book is literally about !!! a character going blind and adapting. That’s the story. If you remove the blindness and the trauma, the story falls apart.

The author told a story that was not hers to tell and she did so badly.

If you are confused about why I dislike this, please read this post called Writing Blind Characters Accepting Being Blind When You Aren’t Blind Yourself.

What Did The Author Do Badly?

Trauma and Blindness

The story starts when main character, Emma, goes blind after a fireworks accident. Not only is this cliché, but it also tics one of my boxes in my Things I Want To See Less of post. This author wrote about a character going blind due to a traumatic accident. Link to the post.

In telling a story that was not hers to tell, here are some harmful things in the book:

The author does not do a good job of separating Emma’s trauma from her blindness. To be fair, this is difficult and most people don’t know to go about doing so with purpose. There are a lot of times in the book where the fact that Emma is traumatized leads to her saying a lot of terrible things about blindness and blind people that are never corrected or contradicted in the story. Again, if you are not sure why this is a problem, read the link I shared to my post.

Here are a few times this issue came up:

-Emma develops a habit of rocking, which myself and many reviewers know to attribute to trauma, but it isn’t clear if the author thinks blind people rock, as the stereotype indicates. Is Emma rocking as a trauma response or because she is blind? The book doesn’t make it clear. This is a time where authors need to be clear.

-Emma assumed she will never get a job, be kissed, get married, etc, after going blind.

-Emma yells about being ruined due to her blindness. The first two hours of the audiobook consist of Emma complaining about being blind. She mentions never being able to get a job a few times, assuming she won’t be able to work. While blind people do struggle with employment, this is due to discrimination, lack of transportation, lack of accommodations, lack of community support, and other systemic issues.

-Emma calls herself disfigured.

-Emma states she wanted to die. In another part of the book, when a background character we never met, Claire, completed suicide, Emma wonders if she was so focused on Claire because she wondered if she wanted to kill herself too.

-On the subject of the character, Claire, Emma states: “How easy would being gay be compared to being blind?”

This is especially damaging because some people are blind and gay. It also isn’t fair for Emma to compare them and the systemic issues that are faced by blind people and gay people. Emma not only trivializes homophobia, but also decides being blind is worse. For Emma, being blind is the worst thing ever, which is very isolating to read.

There are times where the fact that Emma is traumatized was not only grouped in with her blindness, but where the author used trauma to write ideas about blindness that are ultimately harmful.

This book, if readers of the blog want to read it, should be a lesson on why separating trauma from blindness is important. Whether that means making clear distinctions in the narrative itself or just not writing about a character going blind after a traumatic accident.

Let’s continue the overall things done badly.

Stereotypes and Tropes About Blind People

1. Rocking —

I have already mentioned the rocking thing above, but to reiterate here, not all blind people rock to orient themselves.

2. Touching Faces —

Emma and another blind character literally feel each other’s faces, one of the most hated tropes for blind people. In another scene, Emma feels another character’s face without asking.

3. Where Are the Audio Descriptions? —

Emma compares her life to a horror movie she couldn’t watch. This is a subtle reinforcement of the idea that blind people don’t watch films or television. The book makes no mention of audio descriptions. I suppose Emma and all the other blind characters simply don’t watch films or shows anymore.

4. Supposedly Fake Service Dogs —

Emma gets a dog that is specifically said to not be a guide dog. Emma brings this dog to restaurants and to school. Emma explains that she can get away with bringing her dog because no one wants to tell the blind kid no. This was, as you may be able to imagine, frustrating to read. Plenty of blind people have been denied access to transportation and buildings with a guide dog that is supposed to be able to travel freely. Emma’s blindness would absolutely not be a big help to her in bringing her dog places where it is not allowed. In showing Emma getting away with bringing her dog into restaurants when he is explicitly not a service dog, the author is contributing to a huge myth that prevents actual service dogs from traveling freely. Yes, this is only a book and it probably isn’t falling into the hands of someone powerful — however, it has probably been picked up by a business owner, a driver for public transport, a teacher, etc.

5. Avoiding words like see and look —

Emma avoids words like see and look. She also gets angry at her friends for using such words. At one point, Emma’s friend says something and Emma snaps, “I can’t see”. This prompts her friend to, according to Emma, never make that mistake again. Toward the end of the book, Emma is still avoiding such words.

Here is a list of misconceptions about blind people. Look at #6.

Here is another review of this book that also touches on this issue. The reviewer states: “The strange thing is that I’ve never known any blind person avoiding the use of words like “see” or “look.” Again, I’d hate for sighted people to read this book and think that blind folk all avoid words with visual associations; in fact, the only blind friends I talk to moan about sighted people avoiding the use of such visual words because they think we’ll be offended!”

6. All Blind People Are Apparently Totally Blind —

At one point in the story, Emma attends a school for the blind. Another character, who I think was Emma’s mother, says that the campus is beautiful. Emma makes this remark: “Why bother making a school for the blind beautiful? It’s lost on everyone anyway.”

Wow, Emma, that was rude. This is another example of where Emma’s pain and anger cause issues for readers. If they take this at face value, they may think that blind people don’t notice or appreciate beauty. More importantly, they might also assume, like Emma, that all blind people can’t see. As I have stated many times on this blog, most blind people have residual vision. Not everyone is totally blind. This is why, like beautiful grounds, schools for the blind also have things like stairs with high contrast.

7. Subtle Use of the Idea That People With Low Vision Should Rather Strain Themselves Than Be Blind —

This one was less obvious for me. However, once I thought about it again, I understood what I was reading in this character. There’s a rather outgoing character named Seb whose personality is very refreshing in this story. Seb attends the school for the blind with Emma. Seb has low vision.

So Seb wants to get a job. Remember how Emma was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get a job now that she is blind?

Instead of showing Seb getting a job to prove that idea wrong, he knows he has to conveniently not mention being blind when he applies, showing up in sunglasses and without a cane. The book states he worries he wouldn’t be able to fill out the application.

Here is what the book states:

[Quote] “He got hired without telling any of the guys who ran the place that he wasn’t sighted; I know because he had confided in me and Dee the week before that he wanted the job—if friend worked there and said they had an opening—but Seb was worried he wouldn’t be able to fill out the application. So he showed up one night before closing time, wearing sunglasses and not carrying a cane, and asked all casually if he could grab and application and bring it back the next day.

And he spent all night filling it and brought it back the next day. He didn’t mention that he was blind or that the application had taken six hours to finish with the help of his sighted brother.” [End quote]

Seb has no obligation to reveal any personal information to them. If he wants to fill out the application on his own time, in a way in which he feels comfortable, that is fine. However, the book implies he thought he would not be hired if they knew he was blind. Rather than talk about the employment discrimination that is such a huge problem for blind people, the book decides to skip over this. And rather than address Emma’s fear-based expectation that she will never get a job, presumably because she doesn’t think blind people can do anything, the book ignores it.

Seb getting a job, especially in this way, does absolutely nothing to assuage Emma’s fears. Or challenge any possible low expectations the readers may have.

Seb fills out the application by himself and it takes six hours. Six. Hours. His brother also helps him eventually and it still takes that long. No one I know, even with intense internalized ableism, would sit there for six hours doing something like that.

Seb should be using a magnifying device or a scanner app. There is tons of technology out there for people with low vision and the author chose to include absolutely none of it in the book. Instead, she chose to show a character struggling for six hours without exploring his reasons for doing so. Does he do this because of internalized ableism? If yes, how can the same character tell Emma the school will get rid of her “Poor Blind Kid bullshit”?

Now, in some families and some cultures, it would be more appropriate for a family member to help. However, the author tells us nothing more about Seb’s culture, his family life, or his motivations. I assume he did not ask for his brother’s help until later, because I can’t fathom why having a family member help from the start would take six hours.

Why is a character doing this in a story that is supposed to be about adjusting to blindness? Clinging to his remaining vision instead of using a few adaptive tools to make things easier on his eyes hardly makes him a good role model for Emma. Why is a character modeling independence in this specific way? In a way that tells Emma that it is better to struggle with a little vision than to be totally blind?

This is reinforced when Emma says some kids, including Seb, pass well. This is something that cannot be given nuance unless it is written by someone who experienced it. Otherwise, the story shows Emma over and over again that being blind is bad. Undesirable. Which is ableist.

Do people struggle with this? Absolutely. Did the author write it well? No.

And Here Are a Few Things That Could Have Been Done Better

In this section, I wanted to go over things I thought could have been done better. They aren’t necessarily harmful, but I wanted to mention them.

Sunglasses

The main character wears sunglasses when she goes out. This is likely because she has a scar she feels self-conscious about, but this is still a big stereotype that the author could have taken more care with.

O&M Issues

So Emma has someone come around to teach her orientation and mobility, which was nice. The author put in her research here as well. However, the instructor leaves after a time, which seems odd. Rather than work with her around her schools or other locations, he decides she has learned all the basics. I received O&M training until university.

Now Let’s Examine The Blind Characters vs Tropes

In this section, I want to go over the biggest tropes in the stories structure, the number of blind characters, and what I normally advise to get around these issues. We’ll see how this advice compares to how the book turned out.

So, the things to look out for are:

-tokenism

-blind characters going blind through trauma

-blind characters being sad about being blind

Examining Tokenism

Emma is not the only blind character. The blind characters include: Emma, Sebastian, Dee, and Annabelle. I normally say to have one other blind character at minimum. The book meets that requirement.

Examining Blind Characters Going Blind Through Trauma

I also normally suggest avoiding characters going blind through trauma, especially main characters. If the writer would like to go ahead with this, I normally suggest 2 or 3 other blind characters who didn’t go blind through trauma. With 2 as the minimum. I admit, I prefer the main character not to be the one going blind through trauma, simply because the main character has so much power in the perception of the reader.

Let us examine each character.

Emma - went blind through a traumatic fireworks accident

Sebastian- unknown

Dee - unknown

Annabelle- went blind through Retinitis Pigmentosa

On the topic of Dee and Seb, Emma does mention they may have better hearing, which she claims you only have if you lose your sight before the age of ten. We can guess that Dee and Seb both went blind in early childhood or were born blind, but we aren’t sure. What I want here is explicit confirmation that other characters didn’t go blind through accidents. We only get that with Annabelle and her RP.

Not only that, but the other blind characters are not in the novel as much. Annabelle only shows up at the end, seemingly as a way for Emma to help another recently blind person to show how she has developed. Seb and Dee are only in a few chapters, mostly as flashbacks. They don’t get much backstory or development either.

However, it fills my minimum requirements, so I’ll let it pass.

Examining Blind Characters Being Sad About Being Blind

This is literally Emma throughout the entire book. Until the last few chapters.

Annabelle has a similar, shorter arc, although she is only 9 at the time. Annabelle comes in near the end of the book.

It is normal for people to need an adjustment period, particularly if they are young. However, to have the entire book consist of Emma being sad and having trauma focused mostly on her blindness is not something I’m okay with. Especially because, as I wrote in this post, it can leave non-blind readers with a very negative impression of blindness. Again, why would I want to read about this arc from an author who isn’t blind? Why make the entire book about adjusting to blindness?

Anyway, then we have Seb and Dee.

There characters were refreshing in this story, which is mostly Emma being sad and angry.

Dee doesn’t seem to be sad, but we don’t know much about her. She does seem well adjusted and laidback. She and Seb go skiing, so that’s something.

Sebastian gets a little more attention in the story. He does tell Emma the school for the blind will knock the “BPK bullshit” or “Poor Blind Kid bullshit” right out of her. I thought it was funny. Sebastian also has a big personality and interests outside of moping about being blind. He enjoys skiing and, according to Emma, he would have no problem with presenting on the Lighthouse For the Blind in front of people who aren’t blind, unlike Emma, who struggles with calling attention to her blindness. Which I can understand, what with the awkward questions her sighted classmates give her.

However, Seb also has an issue with hiding or fighting against his low vision in some parts of the story. If Sebastian were the main character, I could understand some of the things he does. However, this does not go well at all with Emma’s arc.

Anyway, Seb and Dee don’t get nearly enough time in the book for me to feel 100% comfortable using them as exceptions.

How Would a Sensitivity Reader Help?

If I were doing a sensitivity read for this book, I would suggest including more about Seb and Dee and the school for the blind. I would have explained that the way the story sidelines them shows Emma is not okay associating with her blind friends. I would have asked for more backstory, more contrast between them and the main character, and possibly a few more blind characters Emma met at the school for the blind.

If the writer was insistent on having Emma go blind in an accident, I would have suggested reducing the time she spent depressed and shifting the focus from her blindness to her traumatic accident. I would have had the author work harder to separate the two, even if it took Emma a while to do so. I would have also suggested reducing Emma’s remarks or have them called out. For example, her comments about not being able to get a job or beautiful schools being lost on blind people. Sebastian would have been excellent in this role.

I would have worked with her to either get rid of or subvert the list of stereotypes. Most of them are easy fixes.

I would have told her blind people don’t use canes in their houses. I would have given suggestions for assistive technology for Seb to use. I would have helped her with the section on trauma and blindness, reducing or erasing a lot of the issues I included there. I would have suggested giving Emma an arc that isn’t entirely about adjusting to blindness, even if her story starts with going blind.

I probably would have seemed nicer about my feedback because the author still had opportunity to make changes.

The author could have done more research on stereotypes and cane usage, but I think there is an important lesson here about the benefits of sensitivity readers.

In the end, a sensitivity reader would have fixed most of the problems in this story, despite the amount of research the author did. Research cannot always teach you everything and that is where a sensually or authenticity reader comes in. Moreover, there is a certain respect in involving communities you are representing. In paying them in money or exposure. In listening to their voices and respecting what they say. If the author was willing to learn Braille and sit with blind people to learn about canes and technology, why did she stop at getting sensitivity readers? Why does it feel like she didn’t want to include the blind community in any meaningful way?

I hope this helps someone.

-BlindBeta

[void-tiger]

5 Fictional Characters that make up your Personality

So, I got tagged by the amazingly talented and kind @headspacedad . But, uh, I don’t exactly know that many people on here yet, so...gonna cheat a bit and say if you’ve not been tagged by anyone else yet/have any interest in playing, then I’m “tagging” you now? Yeah let’s just go with that.

So...In no particular order, here are the picks I finally decided to go with:

1. Spring Sprite from Fantasia 2000: Firebird Suite

So...apparently I latched onto her even before my parents read me Narnia (which sparked a life-long love for nymphs and mythology in general. Digressing. Back on topic, Tiger!) Beyond the whole Mythical Nature Girl aesthetic going on and how her best friend is an Elk, I think I’ve finally got it pinned down what, exactly, SmolTiger identified-with-and-absorbed:

She’s insanely curious (more on this later)

She’s a tactile learner, and goes from hesitant to confident as she experiments with her talent, with a bit of gentle prodding from the Elk. (Also important. Hubris and greek-inspired mythological characters DO kinda go hand-in-hand.)

She’s a Perfectionist TM (ahem. Also, see the gif.)

But, then she finds something she can’t heal. And...she just kinda *pokes* it.

And turns out her Curiosity, Confidence, and Pride in her work...turned into outright Hubris. And she gets burned. No, really. Quite literally, with everything she caree about reduced to ash.

Which...what do you do when you’ve screwed up that badly? How do you get back up again? There really isn’t ever an easy answer for that, other than taking time to grieve, then trying again. Fortunately Mr. Elk survived her accidentally letting loose a volcanic demon and is there to lend her a helping...antler.

And things do turn out alright. Her grief heals the land, she tries again. And once she’s regained her confidence? She conquers that mountain, finally spreading her Green all the way to the crater’s edge, the Firebird be damned.

What I took away?

It’s Okay to be curious, particular, and creative (as a tomboy female in a conservative, antiarts religious environment? This was HUGE. And not always a lesson I remembered.)

Your personality and talents are often both your greatest strengths as well as weaknessess.

When you fail, you’re gonna fall HARD. But you WILL survive, especially with help.

Take time to grieve and heal. But then say “screw you. I’m gonna try ANYWAY.” Then watch yourself soar.

Learning a bit of caution and situational awareness isn’t a terrible thing. But don’t let it keep you from Trying Anyway

2. Judy Hopps, Zootopia

I kid you not. From the first scene my brother was like, “oh look. It’s Tiger as a kid.”

...yeah. THAT scene. (Can’t exactly claim that my art or writing have *exactly* calmed down...and...uhhh. Acting intense stuff is morbidly fun.)

And the whole thing with Gideon Grey? Yeah, that was me, too. (Only...I’d have gotten trampled by the sheep, too. Ain’t school and kids just LOVELY.)

But adult Judy wanting to be tolerant, then learning she had a LOT of unlearning left to do? Yeah...uh. Still guilty as charged.

But what I love most about her?

Not only will she Prove You Wrong, but she’ll also prove herself wrong, and grow, and do what she can to Make Things Right. (And try not to make the same mistake twice.)

Oh...and make jokes at her own expense.

(...ahem. I totally don’t make jokes like that. Nope, not me!)

3. Vash the Stampede, Trigun

So...this guy’s an interesting take on the “Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass” trope. In...he seems like a moron, but it’s moreso a persona he puts on. He doesn’t have a “badass switch” that needs to be flipped like many anime protagonists—he’s always That Good. The question is only how much effort is he gonna put into hiding that. Then we learn that he plays up the Fool ‘cause he’s got a ridiculously high bounty on his head...which we assume is exaggerated.

I mean, he’s a pacivist to a fault. “Love and PEACE~!!!” ...right?

Well...yes, and no. Turns out he did end up doing those things, but not intentionally. And he’s so wracked with guilt about it and the stories about what he might have done that he outright represses those memories for a time. And his “goofy fascade” isn’t...just to avoid getting attacked by those who wish him harm (and don’t care who gets caught in the crossfire). He’s also Lonely and craving any sort of non-lethal human interaction he can get.

And he’ll continue to protect, even at the cost of severe personal injury to himself or being forced to play up the Villain everyone believes him to be. It won’t change who he really is.

What I learned from Vash:

Silliness, Kindness, and Competence can coexist. You don’t have to “just pick one”

Cognative Dissonance is HELL. But, it’s one you can survive

You can always Start Again and make restitution for your past mistakes, even though you cannot undo them.

4. Takashi Shirogane, Voltron: LD

yeah yeah I know. Small surprise. But, he’s a fellow struggling mid20 year old who survived an insane amount of trauma and later learns that he might’ve done things he’s ashamed of, yet he actively chooses to fight and protect those in need (and “adopts” a group of squabbling teens along the way).

Not only does he choose to protect, he chooses to be kind. He leads by example with that same kindness, and people notice and respond to it.

That’s damn inspiring.

I wanna be Shiro. I wanna lead like Shiro when I’m called to lead. please don’t pick me!

And the Black Lion chose him despite his trauma and learning about being “Champion”. And staying active? Keeping himself involved and engaged? That gave him purpose, and that purpose gradually gave him healing (even if not closure).

...It also helps that he’s a Complete Dork.

What I learned from Shiro:

Your past does not define you

Kindness is an active choice and strength

Kind Leaders do exist, and they’re worth following

Staying Involved as much as you can actually can help manage your mental health and healing process

5. Jiro Shirogane, Voltron: LD

...aaaand this one should be less of a surprise, honestly. I love both Shiros, okay? I also spent more time with this Shiro, and identified with him maybe a teensy bit more.

Takashi’s “who I wanna be when I grow up”.

(Even though he has his own healing to start, and could stand to confide in...idk. Coran? Allura? They’re the fellow coded adults. Form a support group of “I Crossed the Galra and Survived” or something.)

Jiro’s where I’m currently at, admittedly.

And Jiro’s the one we see trying so damn hard to find “what he CAN do” if being a Paladin wasn’t an option (even though he’s still miserable. But he’s trying.) And when he screws up? We immediately see him doing what he can to Fix It, or at least Do Better. He’s also the one we got to see actively try to manage his mental and physical health, as well as finally open up to Someone. (Even though...egh. Monsantos. Just, monsantos.)

Those were all things I Wanted for both Shiros, but especially Jiro. Those were all also things I learned along the way (and way...way too much meta. Like an admittedly unhealthy amount as I accidentally tied the Shiro(s) being Okay with me learning how to be okay, too) that I could work on giving to myself, too.

What I learned from Jiro:

Focus on What You CAN Do

It’s okay to be longing for something else

Being Kind includes doing what you can to repair your relationships and fix your mistakes

Know when to ask for help, and do what you can to take care of yourself. You can’t help anyone if you’re not taking care of yourself, too

[weekendwritingmarathon]

Planning a Story

Writing Behind the Scenes is a weekly Q&A feature about writing. Submit your writing questions as an ask to get your own question answered. QUESTION: I would be interested to hear how different writers plan & outline for their fics. E.g. How do you start? Is there a template or chart you use? Steps you take? Story elements or structural components you always make sure to include?

***We are focusing more on the planning for this question. Outlining will be addressed in a future question.***

@clpolk usually i begin with a google document in a folder for the project. The google doc is almost always called "everything i know about the story" and then I spend a week or two filling it with everything, and then I try to organize it. It's basically my scratchpad/dump file for everything i'm thinking, and then after about ten days, I get the urge to organize it, and see what I have and if it is enough to make an entire story "go."

@rosemoonweaver Typically, I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of writer. I might have a general idea of where I’m going and what I want to do in a work but I rarely actually plan too much of anything. Generally though, when I’m working on an AU with a lot of moving parts I’ll write down what I know about the characters, how the world works, and what some of the issues in the story will be. I usually don’t have to do that, but if I’m really having trouble starting I’ll start by asking myself questions. In a recent fic I was working on, I started by asking myself why my two lead characters weren’t already in a relationship and what I knew about the characters allowed me to work from there.

@jupiterjames I'm pretty haphazard myself. I get an idea, and just see where it takes me. Sometimes I make a general chapter outline where I make a bullet list of points I want to hit in it. Usually, it doesn't work, though, and I end up bumping them around or striking some of them. I've rarely had a story that I've been able to map out from start to finish beforehand. And that's because I often find that the characters and plot tend to stray and "do their own thing" after a time, and exploring the unexpected turns gets me where I want to go in the end.

@ltleflrt I don’t really outline, but I do have a process.  Once I have an idea, I create a folder for the fic (I use Google Drive).  I give it a generic name based on the trope or AU since Titles Are Hard.  Then I create two documents inside; one named Notes, and one named Ch 01.  The notes file is basically where I jot down the general idea, and any key points I’d like to try and fit into the story.  Then I spend a couple hours flailing over my excitement about the idea with my bestie/alpha reader.  Usually those conversations give me more ideas which get plugged into the notes file.  I always put my newest ideas at the top of the notes file instead of the bottom.  If there are any pictures/posts that are inspiring for me, I’ll also put them in the notes file.  I may even make a playlist if the idea was inspired by music.  Basically I gather all my inspiration in one place so I can bury myself in it whenever necessary.  

@unforth-ninawaters Since tellthenight has asked us to focus on planning for this one...I tend to start planning stories in my head. I’ll have the initial idea - a setting I want to explore, or a kind of erotica I want to write, a even a single image that springs to mind and leaves me wondering...what’s behind that image? This all usually happens while I’m lying in bed trying to sleep. I’ll take that initial idea and I’ll poke at it and start thinking...who are my characters in this setting? Or how did they get into that kink? What brought these people to this moment in their life? I tend to focus on a combination of telling the kinds of stories I enjoy while also avoiding “obvious” answers and common tropes. Generally by the time I start writing I have a pretty good idea of a starting point and the first few scenes following, and a more vague idea of what comes after that. I am a “pantser” for the rest, and often once I start writing a lot of other elements get introduced as I try to figure out how to make the elements I started with make sense. More complex world building like organized charts are more of a pre-second draft project for me, and not something I usually do for fanfiction (but I do for my original fiction) - that’s the point when I read in detail for inconsistencies and things that make no sense. There are always some, that’s the downside of the “flying by the seat of my pants and not really planning” approach. :)

@tryslora I'm a plantser (vaguely planning seat of the pants kind of person). I rely heavily on Scrivener for how I do my pre-story planning (or during story planning) but it can be done anywhere. When I was planning for my YA novel, I started with the characters because they were going to be the focus of the story. I went out and got pictures for every single one and pinned them to my virtual cork board. Then I started making notes on each character. No matter the story, I really am calmed by timelines and numbers--I want to know everyone's birthday, what grade they're in, when they met.

I have a brain like a sieve, so I will always get documents opened for notes, and when I'm in the planning stages, I fill them up with little scribbles. Dates. Important events. Locations. I also add in motivations, or snippets of dialog that occur to me that help me nail down character voices. During the planning stages, what I really want to know is the WHY of the story. Why are the characters here? Why are they interacting (or not interacting)? Why do the like or dislike each other? What do they want? What will they do to get it? I want to figure out what the heart of the story is, because that's what I'll need to know in order to later on figure out the HOW.

@tellthenight I really identify with tryslora’s “plantser” situation. I plan out what I need to know in order to move forward with the story, but leave enough holes to fill in as I go. Another term I’ve heard is “discovery writer”. As I put pen to paper  I learn more about the characters and the story I want to tell.

 I’m very tactile, so I usually put things on paper or index cards while I’m figuring out the story. I usually have a certain scene, trope or starting premise, so the next step is to add characters.

I make a character cards for all the characters with somewhat significant roles. The stuff I have to know: 1. Why is the character the way they are? 2. What is the character’s emotional arc? 3. Why are they in this story? I try to note any past history that plays a particular role in the story. If a character’s mother died when they were young, that early trauma might end up playing a role in the story.

After I know those things I start figuring out how the characters clash or work together, looking for emotional situations I can exploit, trying to figure out what the crisis will be in the relationship. Then I start thinking about how these things best apply to the overall story. I get a general idea of how the relationships of the characters can influence the premise/trope/etc. And then I start working on figuring out the ending. I have to know if I’m leading toward a happy ending or not, if someone dies, if there’s a bitter betrayal, etc. I don’t have to know the exact ending before I can start outlining, but I do need to know what kind of ending I’m building toward.

[aion-rsa]

Lucifer Season 5: Aimee Garcia on Ella’s Boyfriend Trauma

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This interview contains spoilers for Lucifer season 5

Aimee Garcia was a late arrival to fantasy cop procedural series Lucifer in season two. The Chicago-born actress originally moved to L.A. in the early ‘00s to pursue an acting career after becoming dissatisfied with her job in finance, and she was soon picking up roles in Angel, Supernatural, Bones and a regular part in Showtime’s Dexter, before landing the part of Ella Lopez in Lucifer in 2016.

The character was a breath of fresh air for the series – an upbeat, sharp, and tactile forensic scientist, Ella still kept a slightly fearful distance from romantic entanglements …until very recently. 

In season 5, Ella becomes involved with local reporter Pete Daily (Under the Dome’s Alex Koch). Pete seems like a genuinely sweet, nerdy guy, and Ella slowly let him get close to her, only to later discover that he was actually the disturbing serial killer that her team had been chasing all along.

It is a horrifying reveal, and a slap in the face for both Ella and those Lucifer fans who were initially overjoyed to see someone truly understand and embrace Ella’s strange-but-lovable nature.

We sat down with Garcia to chat about her history with the character, the upsetting events of season 5, and what’s next for Ella Lopez….

Den of Geek: Can you take me through your original audition process for Lucifer?

Aimee Garcia: When I read the script for a Latina scientist, because you don’t see a lot of Latinas in STEM, that’s the first thing that got me really excited about it, and her sense of humor and dorkiness. I got to the audition, and I went for it! I did dance moves and unapologetically put my arms up in the air and I thought, “you know what, I’m just going to go for it! I just want to know I left it all on the table, and then it’s out of my control.’”

After that, I got a call from Joe [Henderson] and Ildy [Modrovich], our showrunners, that I was going to come onboard season two. And now here we are!

Ella’s been through some ups and downs on the show, but season five really puts her through the wringer. They kind of took you back to the Dexter era, but much worse! 

I think what the writers do so well on the show is they throw curve balls, not only to the viewers, but to us as actors. [Ella] is the goofball, the lighthearted dork cracking jokes, always talking, hugging everyone, invading their space and just being such a little sunshine nugget. 

She never has a love interest. She’s super independent. She’s the smartest person in the room. She’s a woman in STEM. So, for someone like that to have a crisis of self and wonder if she is a good person or if she picks the right people or if she’ll ever find love …it’s so heartbreaking. In this season, we see the lightest, brightest, most positive and optimistic character in the darkest, most vulnerable, most uncomfortable situation.

In season five, Ella decides to finally put the bad boys aside and start a relationship with Pete. When she discovers his horrifying secret, she doesn’t totally panic. She steels herself, she makes a plan to subdue him, and she follows through, but Pete doesn’t make it easy for her – he really tries to take her down! Was that a difficult scene to film?

What’s funny about that particular scene is that we shot it three weeks before it was planned. Something had come up, and they were going to shut down production for a couple of days, and I said, “Do we have to? Is it possible if we could see if Alex is down to do the scene three weeks before it was planned? I’m down.”

The type A in me wants to have the most time to prep, but then the impulsive, instinctive, actor/artist in me is thinking: “this doesn’t give you time to think, this doesn’t give you time to plan anything, and this doesn’t give you any time to get in your own way.” You just have to go raw and instinctual. It was probably one of the most challenging scenes [I’ve done], because I’m not used to doing that, especially with light-hearted Ella.

She’s such a cinnamon roll, I was heartbroken. Ella doesn’t hesitate to storm into his interrogation afterwards, though. Will she have to deal with a lot of trauma on screen later? 

I think as people we know and learn what we’re made of in the darkest of times. It’s easy to be the best version of yourself when the chips are up, but who are you when the chips are down – when your friend is sick; when you’re being threatened with your life; when you have no answers; when you’re lost? [Ella] doesn’t feel sorry for herself. She doesn’t play the victim. Helping someone she loves is more important than her getting the rug pulled from under her. 

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When Will Lucifer Return to Netflix for Season 5 and 6?

By Kirsten Howard

She finds her inner strength, and does this out of love for her friend who has become her sister this season. That being said, it’s a very traumatic thing that happened to her. We all know people that are so guarded, they don’t let people in that often. So, when she finally lets someone in and then there’s this betrayal, it’s just heartbreaking. I think the writers are so good that they don’t leave any emotional stone unturned. In the second half of the season, we will see Ella wondering what it says about her that she picked this person to be her friend – and an intimate friend. We’re going to see her reel from that, and the emotional aftermath of it will come into light in the second half of season five.

Can you tell me more about the musical episode coming up later in season five?

The musical episode was really fun. It was really epic and required a lot of teamwork, because there were so many dancers, and drone cameras. It was like doing a live Broadway show!.  Each song is very different. We have lyrical songs and more modern songs and you’re going to hear a lot of different ranges and styles. Kevin Alejandro is fantastic! He’s a great dancer.

The way it was written by Ildy was …we’re not just all of a sudden singing! It’s not like that. There’s a reason why everyone starts singing. I have a really fun dance number with the most unlikely character. I felt it was the closest I will ever come to feeling like Beyonceé, having backup dancers. Very good looking back up dancers, I might add.

Ella is the only one of the main crew who doesn’t know that Lucifer is the devil at this point, and it often seems like she’s more prepared than any of them to understand, because she already has so much religious faith. Would confirmation of the existence of God and Heaven and Hell reaffirm Ella’s faith? Or would she spiral the way some of the others have? 

Ella is the dumbest smartest character on the show. She can tell you how someone died just based on like a piece of hair left at the crime scene, but she thinks that the Devil is just an actor who can’t book a gig and needs a hug. She would probably ask Lucifer a bunch of questions if she ever found out.

I’m torn, because I love that she doesn’t know. I don’t want to take away that fun, clueless banter [between Ella and Lucifer], because no one else has it. Every other character knows that there’s angels and demons and devils, so it keeps [Ella] relatable, but I hope by the end of the series Ella gets the celestial memo.

Do you know when you’ll be able to complete filming on the second half of season five?

We’re like everyone else, just in a holding pattern. Hopefully, we start production in the fall and I know it’s going to be very buttoned up and very safe. I think we’ll see how this whole pandemic changes the storytelling, but we’re scheduled to go into production quite soon.

The sixth [and final] season really is a love letter to the fans. We’re here because of you, in full honesty. It’s our little thank you for coming on this journey with us.”

This interview has been edited for pace and clarity.

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