#artzysyam

[thesandsofelsweyr]

What your thoughts of s/o offered to massage his shoulders?

To him, a massage is better than sex. His back and shoulders are perma-fucked from his stay in Arkham, leaving him with constant, chronic pain that OTC painkillers—the only painkillers he'll take—are practically useless against.

If he's with a s/o whose touch he's learned to crave, not fear, then he will become putty in their deft hands, melting into their kneading fingers, their rolling knuckles, the heels of their palms; his skin coming alive again as they press insistently against the tangled mess of scar tissue that was once his back, against the ever-present knot of misery between his shoulder blades. They instinctively know the right pressure to use, know the perfect balance between pleasure and pain.

But it's not just the electric magic of their touch that makes him feel amazing. It's the proof that this person he loves so much, this person isn't disgusted by his ruined body, this person wants to touch him despite all the reminders of his weakness, his cowardice, his stupidity, his failures that litter his flesh, this person wants to waste an hour of their day making him feel better.

[thesandsofelsweyr]

He’s not human anymore and deserved to be cold, beaten, unwanted, unloved.

Me:

Also me:

Time lost all meaning when the Joker snuffed out his future beyond the rotten walls of the Arkham Asylum.

Jason deserved it, or so he thought. His parents had chosen their own selfish desires.

Instead of rescuing him from his hell, Bruce replaced him with another young man, as if he were just an unwanted puppy.

He surrendered to the pain, enduring constant beatings from him, other Rogues who held a grudge against Batman, and even Batman himself, whom he believed to be real. The Joker used him as a plaything for other inmates, taking turns violating his body.

He’s not human anymore and deserved to be cold, beaten, unwanted, unloved.

[kikipancakes]

"Despite everything, you're still here."

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Commission for @artzysyam! He requested Jason giving AKJason a hug :(

[scaryscarecrows]

Tagged by @prowlsic

Swiggity-swag, Imma tag (with zero pressure)...

@artzysyam @deans-spinster-witch

And anyone else who wants to do show and tell, you can say I tagged you!

Maybe when the poll is over I'll put a picture of the items. For laughs.

[xysidhequeen]

tit's monch monday

Rules: Reveal the titles of the documents in your wip folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

Tagged by @frxiir. Thanks buddy.

I don't have a wip folder so I'll just go by all my recent wips.

-Equilibrium Chapter 4/3/2/1

-Equilibrium TeamSpeak scene.(this is a typo as it's supposed to be Teamup but the typo amused me)

-Equilibrium Gun Simp Scene

-DPxDC outline two feral cats pretending to be boys

-Red Knight 16

-The Monster They Made

@britcision @artzysyam @welcome-tothe-mystery-shack I don't really have more to tag that I'm confident won't be upset by me tagging them. Anyone I did tag is not expected to continue this trend 💚

[crazycookiemaniac]

Asta comm for @ArtzySyam !!  thank you for your support!!

[thesandsofelsweyr]

A naughty question for science.

How big is your AK!Jason’s cock?

⚠️ cw: smut

Let these ladies sing the song of his penis:

He's longer than average but nice and thiccc 🍆 An artist's representation that I quite like (N S F W)

[thesandsofelsweyr]

Are there any triggers for your AK!Jason?

The real question is: is there anything that doesn’t trigger him? 😔 So much was used to make his life beyond miserable for over 487 days... so many things he will now forever associate with hell on earth...

Boisterous laughter (even grins make him uncomfortable for a time)

Blindfolds

Handcuffs

The sound of tape ripping

Face coverings (takes him a while to get used to wearing his helmet without triggering a panic attack)

Dog collars (Max wears a harness when they go on runs, and that comes off as soon as they get home)

Power tool sounds. This is another one he forces himself to "deal with" for the sake of his mission, but those sounds will always set his teeth on edge and his heart to racing.

Someone grabbing him, or even just bumping into him. Because of this he gets extremely anxious in crowds so he avoids them when possible.

Drugs stronger than Aspirin (though he will drink alcohol occasionally. I'll go more into this in another ask in in my inbox.)

Claw hammers. Any of the tools Joker used on him—crowbar, pliers, sledge hammer, nail gun, blowtorch, drill, jumper cables, etc.—make him anxious, but just the sight of a claw hammer will immediately drag him back down to that makeshift torture chamber; leave him frozen in fear, drenched in a cold sweat, numbness creeping down his extremities, blackness invading his vision, fighting for a breath in a world that suddenly seems devoid of all oxygen, heart racing so hard it's gonna explode in his chest, feeling like his world is imploding until he's left watching helplessly from outside of his body as the Clown brings down that hammer again and again and again, feeling like he'll never get back in, feeling like he'll never experience another moment without terror, feeling like he's never been more certain in his entire life that he's dying...

Clowns because he has to fight the violent urge to pummel them in the face until he knocks all their teeth out, until there's little more than a bloody paste and bone fragements left inside a hollowed out skull.

[thesandsofelsweyr]

Do your AK!Jason avoiding looking at his bare body?

Yeah.

It's... bad.

Angry red splotches—burns from the blowtorch and cigarettes—dapple his limbs from wrist to shoulder and ankle to groin; more cigarette burns dot his body here and there, including his ears, inside and out; raised discs of scar tissue remain on his palms and thighs where the drill punctured them; his left hand's disfigured from an acid bath; faded scars wind around his thighs and biceps from where the barbed wire tore through his undersuit; his wrists still bear the marks of countless hours he spent suspended by them while he dangled from the meat hook...

He knows his back is a mangled, tangled mess of scar tissue, but thankfully it's a sight that's easy to avoid.

But his torso... his torso upsets him the most; where Joker and Harley doodled on his flesh with scalpels and knives: HAHAHA cut beneath his ribs, alongside J+HQ♡ in Harley’s whimsical cursive; the Arkham logo incised into his abdomen; and most sickening of all: the crude mockery of the Robin logo from his suit, carved deep into his right breast. A permanent reminder of his greatest failure.

Staring at all of his scars brings back the painful memories behind each awful mark. But eventually, he has to try to stomach it—he can't have a fucking panic attack every time he glimpses a bit of bare flesh. So he forces himself to stand in front of a mirror. Every day. Forces himself to see his revolting reflection, to accept his ruined body along with his ruined soul.

Every time he stands there—teeth gritted, jaw clenched, fighting back tears—the Clown's there, too. Gripping his jaw, squishing his cheeks together, forcing his scarred lips to pucker; gushing gleefully about how he's "got a face only a father could love."

[thesandsofelsweyr]

If he punch the wall, I’m held his bleeding hand, guide him to the sofa and took out the first aid kit.

Even after he punched the wall barely missing your face?? 😏

(I love the intimacy of this image, btw. Gently cleaning his bloody knuckles, wrapping them up in gauze, clasping his injured hand between yours, dropping a soft kiss on top of it 💕)

[thesandsofelsweyr]

Does your AK!Jason remove his armor even in post Arkham Knight?

Yeah, he'll go about in civvies, but he has every inch of skin covered to hide his scars. Long sleeves, pants, even gloves, and a cap or a hood (oftentimes both) to hide that fucking J on his cheek. He can't stand the looks people give him—whether its pity or scorn—when they catch sight of his brand, so he's normally got his head down between his hunched shoulders when he's out.

Whenever he's with his troops though he's always in armor. Only a select few—his most trusted allies, and regrettably, Deathstroke—have seen him without his helmet.

[thesandsofelsweyr]

What would happen if AK! Jay got into trigger but no one there to bring him back to the present?

More times than not he has to deal with them on his own, and they're often so intense, so terrifying, so debilitating, that he blacks out.

His first method of dealing with his PTSD—"just suck it up you cockroach" and "man up and stop being such a pussy"—never worked. Vodka worked for a time, but he cut that out once he found himself getting too dependent (no way in hell he's gonna be an addict like Willis.) Ultimately he turned to his public library for books on managing PTSD since he's allergic to mental healthcare (like Bat-father, like Bird-son) Now grounding techniques seem to work the best for him. (He's also a fan of song therapy.)

[thesandsofelsweyr]

What’s your AK!Jay reaction when a Good Dad! Bruce tried to reach out to him?

Since we’re talking AU here, I want Jay to open up his door one day and find Bruce waiting on his doorstep, hat in hand. Before Jay can say a word, Bruce takes him in his arms, apologizing for everything that happened to his boy, and Jay just goes limp in the man’s embrace, tears streaming down his scarred cheeks as he clutches at Bruce’s designer suit; the prodigal son sobbing against his father's chest 🥰

[thesandsofelsweyr]

Do you think your AK!Jay felt jealous to his counterpart lives?

You actually read my mind! I had a draft about this, and now I'm kicking myself for deleting it 😮‍💨

It was based on this adorable art of Dick with Bitewing. While planning Operation: Savior, Jay's back in the states running surveillance on his former allies. He's lurking in the shadows when he spots Dick out for a walk with Bitewing, wearing that same carefree smile he always wore back when they were "family." For half a heartbeat he's reminded of happier times—how he always looked forward to Dick joining them at the manor for dinner, how Dick would piss him off by mussing his hair while calling him "Little Wing", how they'd spar together, how Dick would empathize with him when he begrudgingly talked about his many falling outs with Bruce, how he was determined to best Dick at everything the golden boy did, how he secretly idolized his older bro—but soon he finds himself overcome with jealousy. He clenches his fists until his ragged fingernails cut into his drill-punctured palms, icy blue eyes boring holes through the chest of another mentor who left him to rot. He wishes he could walk his own dog without his ankle hurting so bad that he wants to take a hacksaw to it. Wishes he could smile without feeling the tightness of the brand tugging at his skin. Wishes he didn't have to hide in the shadows. Wishes rage didn't constantly burn through him, setting his implanted teeth on edge, contributing to yet another migraine.

Wishes he could go home to the manor for one last family dinner.

Knowing that he'll never have that chance ever again.

[thesandsofelsweyr]

Does AK! Jason got mindbreak from his torture?

Most definitely. Months and months of relentless physical and psychological torture leaves Jason a hollowed out shell of a person. He doesn't even consider himself human, just a creature or a plaything. Any hope of a future beyond the rotting walls of Arkham Asylum has been starved out of him, beaten out of him, burned out of him. He loses all of the will to fight after he sees that photograph of Batman and his new Robin. Eventually Joker twists his vulnerable mind so much that he actually believes Joker's the good guy, believes he deserves everything that has happened to him, believes that Bruce abandoned him here because he wanted Joker to punish him for giving up Willis to the mob, for doing the things he did as a kid to survive, for not living up to Dick Grayson, for not being the son Bruce wanted. He wants to be the Clown's sidekick, to be a good partner to Joker, to not fail him like he failed Bruce. Towards the end of his captivity, he just follows Joker around like a faithful old hound. Joker's the only one who wants him after all.

[thesandsofelsweyr]

Since AK!Jason has a major abandonment issue. How he react when his militia abandon him?

Well, he's got a lot on his mind when some of his men abandon him so he doesn't really have the chance to react to it. Also, the sting is softened when his favorites stick with him, even after he returns to Gotham as Red Hood. The ones who left him were mostly Wilson's recruits anyway so fuck 'em.