#artisinal goods

[astarionsknife]

Went to pick up some stuff in the city and treated myself to some glühwein 🍷

[dwarfman403-blog]

I mean, as far as midlife crisis’s go,

Getting into artisanal bento isn’t actually a bad one…

[angelwiththeblue-box]

most insane lines from pibe that i havent stopped thinking about

when the problems run up youre running away (humpty dumpty)

try that door that doors locked try that door that doors locked all the doors are locked- hope to see your sister on the other side (murk of merkmere)

"michealangelo, we need your help" "cowabunga" (whimsy on wheels)

and put myself on a shelf but i called it a rafter and i laid on my back and i painted a ceiling can you relate to that? (whimsy on wheels)

is it a real crush or am i crushing on a crush (mallapalooza)

and when i look at you or our other friends, i think i don't really care what happens as long as it never ends (mallapalooza)

if i didn't fight for every crumb i ate i would end up bereft of life (animal style)

and it can be hard to be incredible when sometimes you wanna be fine, yes im janice wood but i wanna take my time i don't want to be great i just wanna be good (trade school musical 2)

FUCK YEAH SHES TALKING BOUT ARTISINAL ICE (trade school musical 2)

can we make this part short the part where we don't talk and can we make this part sweet the part where we finally come back and meet (bonus points for can we move past can we move past can we move past) (backwards compatible)

everytime jess/mary says huge wrong (backwards compatible)

hey windella learn about me girl! (heebie jeebies)

socrates gets on his knees when he sees a fellow with my finesse and ease (heebie jeebies)

ill tell my story it doesnt have be gory it doesnt have to be boring ill tell my own story tell your own story (heebie jeebies)

[msunitedstatesjames]

Frances Hardinge is a criminally underrated author. If you've never heard of her, I'm not surprised. Even though I'm in several fantasy book groups on Facebook with thousands of members, I've only ever seen one or two other members post about her. And yet, since I first read one of her books in 2020, I've bought every book she's published and read most of them.

Frances Hardinge, for those who've missed out, writes fantasy young adult books. Her books are extremely well written, romance free, unfailingly unique, and somewhat dark, all of which are qualities I find to be more and more rare in today's YA fantasy market (not to hate on YA, I've read tons of it). If you need a comparison, I would say aspects of her books remind me of YA/middle grade books by T. Kingfisher or Neil Gaiman.

If I haven't convinced you yet, here's a little preview of some of her books that I've read:

A Face Like Glass (my personal favorite): A girl named Neverfell lives in a world where people have to be taught how to show emotion in their facial expressions. She has to wear a mask at all times because, mysteriously, she naturally shows facial expressions and if people found out they would freak. If that's not unique enough, this society is underground and produces magical artisinal goods, such as cheeses, wines, and perfumes that can do some wild things. If that still hasn't convinced you, the book critiques the privelege of the wealthy, as in this world only the rich can afford to hire Facesmiths to teach them expression, while the poor languish along with one or two facial expressions for their entire lives.

Fly by Night and Fly Trap (these might have different titles depending on where you are in the world): In a world where reading is illegal and seen as revolutionary activity, Mosca Mye escapes her awful life with her aunt and uncle by forcing an infamous conman (Eponymous Clent, this world has cool naming conventions) to take her under his wing. Joining them is Mosca's only friend, Saracen, the murderous goose. Yeah, you read that right. Highlights of the series include a heartwarming found family tale, an accidental revolution, a city that literally changes its population, personality, and shape when day changes to night, and, of course, an extremely violent goose. I mean, if you've read Pratchett, Saracen the goose is basically the Luggage. There's more than one scene in these books where all hope seems lost, and Mosca is like, "I guess it's up to you now Saracen," and she just straight up lobs her goose at the enemy and he utterly wrecks their shit. If I recall correctly, this happens once during a pitched river boat battle over an illegal printing press.

The Lie Tree: Faith's father, who refused to recognize her potential as a scientist, mysteriously dies. Faith discovers a tree he kept hidden that grows when you tell lies and reveals secrets in its fruit. The bigger the lie you tell the world, the bigger the secret that will be revealed. You can imagine the chaos that eventually ensues. This book critiques gender roles and discrimination, and tackles both the dangers and the necessity of telling lies.

Cuckoo Song: When Triss wakes up after apparently falling in a lake, everything seems wrong. She's missing memories, she has an insatiable hunger, dead leaves are mysteriously appearing in her room, and her sister claims she's a monster. Triss must piece together what's happening to her before it's too late. This book deals with the complexities of life with overbearing parents, siblings who've been pitted against one another, and families that have been torn apart by tragedy.

Verdigris Deep (another one that goes by different titles): A group of friends are cursed by a well witch after they take some coins from her well. She forces them to work for her by granting her wishes. Working with the witch gives them powers, but the wishes are getting increasingly complex. Does that guy really want a motorcycle or does he want to be someone else? And if he wants to be someone else, does that mean what he really wants is not to exist at all? This book deals with issues of self worth, power and control, and toxic friendships.

She has a bunch of other great books as well. So if you're looking for a unique fantasy story with adventure and no romance, definitely check some of Frances Hardinge's books out!

[rad-roche]

i'm very, very good about taking care of my graphics tablet, especially since i moved from super budget economy to just flat out 'economy'. i keep it in a safe place, but plugged in all the time to encourage me to make art whenever i feel l ike it. i wear a little drawing glove, to catch my many many horrible oils. i treat it to only the finest artisinal driver updates. anyways, i came back from the kitchen to find four perfect cat-sized pawprints on it

[bittersweetblasphemy]

made this based on a picture i saw a while ago. id tag the inspo but I honestly can't remember what it was for the life of me.

i live next to a dollar store now and they have these little canvases, so I got myself two. and now I have no idea what to draw. because of course that's how it works.

[penroseparticle]

For the playlist prompt: mentally ill but in a poppy trying to heal way (ex: I Wanna Get Better - The Bleachers and Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack)

RESIGNED TO SADNESS BUT DYING MAD ABOUT IT

One artisinal, handcrafted playlist Basilicux! Enjoy. It goes on a bit of a journey and hits its stride maybe halfway through. Some of these are more "trying to heal" than others, some of these are more just "That Mentally Ill Experience (tm)". A lot of these songs have some deep personal significance for me, and I hope they're at least helpful to you. I liked this prompt I like Motion City Sountrack a lot, they were THE band for me when I was younger.

Afraid- The Neighbourhood

Turn To Hate- Orville Peck

Circles- Post Malone

Chained To The Rhythm- Katy Perry

Problems- A R I Z O N A

R.I.P. 2 My Youth- The Neighbourhood

Best Tears- The Happy Fits

Ibuprofen- Bears In Trees

Lately (Drugs)- Dae Zhen

You Ain't The Problem- Michael Kiwanuka

sad songs- Good Scott

CITY OF ANGELS- 24kGoldn

I Wanna Get Better (RAC Mix)- Bleachers, RAC

Better Now- Blanks (Originally Post Malone)

This Is For Real- Motion City Soundtrack

Brick By Boring Brick- Paramore

Golden- Hippo Campus

HEAVEN- Troye Sivan, Betty Who

The Dog Days Are Over- Florence & The Machine

[juniper-c]

Folks from the US getting condescending about people not from the states has to be my least favourite genre of posts. Like, i swear every other week I see some shit written in half baked (british) english slang about baked beans or jellied eels or rotten teeth and it drives me up the wall. Just a bunch of fundamental misunderstandings about a place they've never been too with little to no curiosity about what life might actually be like there.

Im only coming at this from a UK angle so cant speak for anywhere else but a quick rundown on all this shit states side people get wrong about our food specifically because thats what winds me up the most.

Beans on toast is a cheap staple breakfast food, not the cornerstone of our cullinary tradition.

In most urban city centers you get a complex mix of diaspora informed food stuffs, primarily indian and east asian because of all that colonialism we did. Relatively large muslim populations also bring in middle eastern influences.

Even what you might think of as a classic british pub will sell you a basic curry unless you're in the arse end of nowhere. This is not niche shit. Our whole food culture is shaped by this.

What you could call 'classic' british cooking like full roast dinners with Yorkshire puddings, propery gravy, sruffung, and all the other fixings are fucking great actually. Bit of lamb with mint, bit of pork with apple sauce, cut of beef with mustard. It goes hard.

Even if you are in the arse end of nowhere stuff like pasties, proper pies, stews with dumplings, fish and chips, and other sea side holiday basics that make you think of little coves in north devon are also good, actually. Yes its not spiced to all hell and back, but they incoperate herbs and vegatables and stocks in ways that give it a unique depth of flavour distinct from cultures informed by a more spice heavy tradition.

Say what you will about our shit (complimentary) chicken shops and rubbery high street donner in years of nights out blind drunk in student bits of the city they've never once given me the gastric distress y'all describe post taco bell.

Of course our mexican food isn't particularly authentic, the countries half a planet away and we dont have a large mexican diaspora. What we do have is tuned for mass market appeal by largish chains or sold out of artisinal taco food trucks that we all find a bit wanky tbh.

Spicy food exists, and we quite like it. Yes even pasty white tony who turns the colour of jam when he eats a medium hot vindaloo. Indian food is a cornerstone of our national diet of course we know what chilli powder is.

And finally nobody eats fucking jellied eels it was a victorian era poverty food and even then only in london.

Also our chocolate is better than yours because we dont put the weird chemical in it that makes it taste like sick. Eat a kit kat and die mad about it.

[transgenderer]

people get lithium and coltan mixed up. and cobalt and coltan. the vast majority of lithium mining worldwide is done by hydraulic extraction and evaporation (i.e machine-heavy, child-light processes). coltan is the child-mining mineral, sorta - 60% of tantalum (primary component of coltan) worldwide is mined artisinally, meaning individual miners doing it for subsistence. figures are messy but somewhere >2.5%ish of artisinal miners are children, depending on the region. so about 1.5% of tantalum semiconductors are made by children. ish. probably less cause they're not as good at mining

lithium is my snail

[ghostofasecretary]

after my not-quite-nap i did what i was thinking i'd do yesterday and made a lot of food (3 portions dal and 2 of jeera rice)

also ate an orange

always forget how delicious fresh oranges are. every part of em slaps. and this one was so juicy! the pith mostly sweet! the peel clean and bitter and good!

...and then i removed the pith from all the peel i didn't eat using my fingernails, and ate the pith, and boiled and strained the 33 fucking grams of orange peel three times and then cooked it, stirring as much as possible while also washing dishes, on low heat in a quick simple syrup till it got candy textured. and then i dumped the remaining peel in a bit of sugar and ate it warm and jarred the leftover syrup to make drinks out of. or maybe to put on ice cream, if for some reason i buy ice cream (or do something absurd with the cup or so of heavy cream left in my fridge. y'know. like making ice cream without an ice cream maker). or cheesecake? cheesecake with orange syrup might be nice. or if i had semolina flour i bet that would make an *epic* cake

this is also the second time i've made Artisinal Small Batch Candy, just such a fucking small batch, literally one to two fruits' worth of peel, this year. and it was really good! but i think next time i want an orange i should buy two or three just in case the thought "i should spend 2.5 hours making candy" crosses my mind

and then i could. like. cool it. and enjoy how the sugar gets when there's enough of it to crystallize instead of melting

honestly, even putting labor time aside, i'm not even sure this is cheaper than buying candied citrus peel. but i also don't know where to buy candied citrus peel. and it's nice to make!

i think. i will brush my teeth really well and put a lot of lotion on my hands and go straight to bed

[on-the-shoulders-of-rootstock]

A flowchart showing the approximate flow of goods within the Affini's gift-based economy. Red indicates heavy industries, while blue indicates light industries.

Permeation Gardens are large artificial forests (including interdependent fungi and insects) that leach desired minerals out of the landscape with minimal disruption to the geography. Wide, deep root structures search for mineral veins and slowly separate trace amounts from rocks and soil.

Constructor Plants are genetically-modified flora that take in and process industrial materials such as metals or chemicals. An Affini operator is usually grafted into the Constructor when it is in operation, guiding the complex metabolic processes required in modern heavy industry, though some simple tasks can be performed autonomically. Most constructor plants produce yield in the form of sap or fruit, but some also shed bark or vitrify directly into structural components.

Matter Trainers are a nanofabrication technology used by the Affini to manufacture cheap, disposable items like medical supplies and hygine products. They are sealed cabinets of differing sizes in which swarms of nano-scale assembler robots assemble objects at the molecular scale, drawing raw feedstock from communal stores. Almost all Affini homes and public spaces have at least one Trainer, usually tucked away somewhere unobtrusive yet accessible. Larger (more than 1m in any dimension) trainers are usually kept in public workshops. The biggest trainers are the size of space stations, and usually have their own crew and propulsion.

When it comes to non-disposable items such as clothes, personal electronics, furniture, etc. most Affini consumers prefer goods handmade by craftswomen, rather than matter trainers. Objects can be tailored to an individual's needs and tastes, rather than suffering the one-size-fits-all approach common to most trainer designs. Whether the object is made from scratch or manufactured with the help of a trainer depends on the item being produced and the craftswoman making it. For every Affini blacksmith making artisinal walking sticks from raw ore, there is another woman hand-painting canes from a trainer in bright floral patterns.

[vivienna-vivid]

Glad you enjoyed Mouryou too!

You know yuri is good when it has a bodycount, including both participants.

I can see why Mouryou is the most well known part of the Kyougokudo series, because GOOD GOD IT HAS EVERYTHING!

Also real. This isn't your grandma's toxic yuri. This is artisinal, fine aged toxic yuri; seeped in a radioactive sludge of sheer haterdom, unhealthy adoration, and the blood and limbs of both girls. No one will survive this. I don't think I survived this.

[pearwaldorf]

In today's edition of "the shadow of Lovecraftian discourse that passed under my tiny boat", the YouTuber who commissioned an AMV of con(?)-non-con with him and a character from Hazbin Hotel and went bankrupt partially because of it.

I'm not judging him for doing this, but more for spending that much money on it. 50K can buy you so much bespoke erotica! Isn't this what AI chatbots are for?

idk. I come from a background where we make our own porn* because the stuff we want to read doesn't exist. I think it's a good trait to cultivate, if only so you don't bankrupt yourself for jerkoff material.

--

* If I ever put out my shingle for fic commissions, the slogan would be "lovingly hand-crafted artisinal filth".

[comradeocean]

I didn't not enjoy the bear s2, but 2 fucked up things that bother me a lot: 1. Ebra, and sort of relatedly, 2. the show's complete inability to take an actual fucking position on the exploitative nature of the service industry.

on 1: the writing sets Ebra up with the beginnings of an arc but doesn't go anywhere with it until ep 8. there are these gestures towards filling in a backstory (Ebra's clumsiness, the roughshod nature of his skill or lack thereof, his inability to recalibrate in this new environment, his initial dread of uniforms after being fine w the new chef blues Syd and Carmy instituted in s1), which are subsequently abandoned and rendered meaningless in favour of his contrite, apologetic reappearance in ep 8, where he is the one narratively required to make amends for not being up to the task.

for his failings (of not being able to handle navigating institutionalised education bc of war trauma? bc of it being in a language he's still struggling to learn? bc of his age? the condition of his body? his background? we don't fucking know. it doesn't actually matter. we just know he bombed and let Tina (everyone) down), he's relegated to the drive through window. the implication: get w the program or get left in the dust. and why not? they gave him all the necessary resources, the opportunities to /better/ himself, so of course it's on him he's no longer qualified for meat prep, in that fancy new kitchen w equipment that actually fucking works.

Tina made it, right? good fortune is for those who are prepared to receive it. not our (Syd/Carmy/Sugar, the viewers at home sitting proxy, as always, in the position of management) problem Ebra couldn't hack it. it is what it is. some ppl can't deal w things changing. sad. they oughta be grateful there's a position left for them. allowances are being made, after all. generosity and sentiment on the strength of shared history.

that's the viewpoint suggested by the writing in the show.

and moving onto point 2, bc this, too - not hacking it, his perpetual self-sabotage, self-victimisation - was gonna be Richie's fate. until he goes on his own journey of self-actualization accomplished via the Cinderella magic of... internalizing the ethos of artisinal servitude.

yes, the form of labour is regimented and punishing and fucking abusive, but messy ppl who need some semblance of order and purpose in their live are predisposed to excuse and even justify the worst of its excesses bc yeah! their lives can be made materially and psychologically better in certain ways, for having taken a sip of the koolaid. they can, for once, be doing work they personally find meaningful. they can even thrive. 

so who's to say if it's actually good or bad! plus don't the middle aged middle classed high school teachers of middle america deserve some luxury? a treat! (as if that's the average clientele of such restaurants bffr!!!!)

is that not the takeaway from these 2 seasons? we are rooting for Syd and Carmy. we are rooting for the survival, nay, success of their fine dining establishment. we want them to beat the odds! we want them to turn this failing shithole filled w sad broken people into a high performing marvel of the American hospitality industry where everyone strives for excellence in all things, bringing only their best selves to work blah blah blah

like, if I were to use the vocabulary reserved for descriptions of enemy states, Richie's turnaround literally reads as the success story of getting shipped out for re-education: a recalcitrant, disruptive element undergoes ideological and thought reform through labour, and returns a model worker fully committed to the leadership and advancement of the cause.

what is the cause? The Bear, obvsly. but more generally, something to do w the virtue of self-mastery, self-perfection, self-improvement, whatever. bc it seems to me so many of the conflicts explored in the show come back to this.

in Richie's arc, compliance within a system where the power a customer or head-chef holds over you might as well be boundless becomes sanctified, as servility is elevated to a kind of craft. even an art form. his initial unhappiness about being put in such a relationship, and to feel demeaned by it, is framed as an attitude problem of insufficient self-regard - if you loved yourself enough, had enough confidence in yourself and yr skills, you wouldn't bristle at this level of labour discipline, or interpret conforming to such standards as harsh.

and the thing is, a big part of the hype the show got last season was for its honest clear-eyed depiction of the restaurant industry. it was praised for being thoughtful about grief, and various kinds of trauma, and how toxic working environments are created and fed by addiction and cycles of abuse. like Truffaut who quipped there are no antiwar movies that don't glamourize war, it's easy for depictions of the brutal pace of modern high-end dining to turn into competence porn.

how the writing, particularly by season 2 and Richie's arc makes me want to interpret the way the show makes sense of this tension is by leaning into psychosocial explanations. ultimately, individuals are the vector by which dysfunction spreads, dysfunction instilled in them by other people. the role the system plays recedes ever more into the background. there's a displacement. in the final analysis, the problem is not the problem, the problem is not being an adequate-to-the-problem problem solver.

the consensus after season 2 is that Carmy needs to work on himself. (and if they're being generous, of course Sydney and the others too) everyone needs sooooo much therapy, goes the common-sense wisdom about almost everything. I mean, yeah, no shit, Carmy is so fucked up. but I don't know what kind of abrafuckingcadabra therapy ppl know about that would make the pressures of keeping your head above water not soul destroying, like, in this economy??

it is almost too funny, that little paean to service that compares hospitality and hospitals. the health industry and precarious service work, two features of the economy that are def not in crisis nor create crises. 

and there's every indication we are meant to read him straight, more or less like honestly, now that I'm thinking about it more, it makes me want to puke.

there's the part about training ppl not to see their exploitation, but even welcome it, finding self-worth in the very adherence to this hierarchy. there's the pure distilled ideology of this whole... upgrade being seen as progress, as unquestioned, inevitable, of course that's what Carmy (and Syd) want and have always wanted.

it's not quite enough to make me stop watching. I'm reserving full judgement until after season 3 (feels like something I said last yr, abt s2)

bc we don't know about the other shoe yet, after ep 10. what happens to Richie? what if he lets the koolaid curdle, what if it grows sour and mouldy. maybe Marcus rejects this non choice! and quits! maybe the restaurant fails! maybe the triumph of their (Syd, Carmy, The Bear) commercial success is shown to be achieved through the thorough and continual destruction of other kinds of value, and no one is actually made richer for it. maybe the contradictions won't be reduced to the faintest shadows of narrative handwringing - but at what cost! oh look where they came out of, how could it have been otherwise!

or maybe we'll get more of this thoughtful plausible deniability chaos that pretends nuance is about showing something tragically ironic [every second counts amirite] absent any possibility of refusal and that somehow the power of interpretation is in the hands of the viewers, who are free to evaluate as they see fit all sorts of claims all given equal weight and reality, but who are still left, at the end of everything, only with ennobled suffering.

[steambot-shenanigans]

Has this ever happened to you?

Unable to get your paper boat to stand up, no matter what you try? Might I suggest a solution guaranteed to put an end to your sorrows and woes?

Introducing: Ralph McFiggins’ Artisanal Paper Boat Thingamajigs!

They may look like old gel pen caps with metallic pain slapped on them, but they’re so much more!

Simply insert the Artisinal Paper Boat Thingamajig into the bottom of your paper boat until it looks like this:

And then your boat will be standing up with no trouble at all!

So buy your Artisanal Paper Boat Thinamajig today, and get good quality products that do their job well, and look great! Only $9.99 for three thingamajigs!

[sttrinians2007]

also lol finally opened the bottle of artisinal italian beer i got to take home from my old job god it's fucking good. i wish it wasn't a shithole