#artham and esben the cats

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this evidence of Artham having a good day.

The sun is warm, the day is bright, a nap has been had, he has no worries to speak of, and he wishes you the same.

Reblog for more good days for human and goblinkind alike.

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black cats 🐈‍⬛ 🎃🍂🔮☕️🦇

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

girl i feel like Artham and the wingfeather kids would absolutely love boops

okay this conjured a series of hilarious images in my mind, but by far the best was Maraly throwing boops like knives. She expected hers to be black but nah they're white ghosty ones because of how she flits in and out of the night like a ghost when she's on Shadowblade shenanigans with Gammon. xD

Kal has black paws for obvious reasons. Leeli's are white. Janner and Sara's are both orange and they match <3

Kal and Janner finally have a worthy use for their Durgan training oh boy

Artham won't stop appearing randomly, booping one of them 153 times and then vanishing. His are probably also white for that reason xD

and then Arundelle gets involved and it just becomes her and Artham chasing each other around the castle and popping out of increasingly unlikely places to smack each other with giant cat paws

No one thinks Nia is playing until she darts out of a shadow, smacks someone in the face with a black cat paw and disappears again (never forget she married Esben, prankster of Anniera)

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things my cats do, in no particular order (not exhaustive)

grab my hand (softly, no claws) and bring it down (smoosh) on head for forced petting

make biscuits on one (1) blanket (Esben, it is "his" blanket)

steal favorite blanket off the bed and drag it into the bathroom if someone else has used it too much (Esben)

yell (MROWEEUEOOWMRREOOO?!) for any and all reasons (Artham)

cry at the door if I am in the bathroom too long

attempt to force open the closet if I am in the bathroom too long because of a steadfast belief that the closet enters the bathroom somehow (Esben)

hop onto my back and stretch himself across my shoulders like a scarf and fall asleep there (Artham)

decide the most optimal way to traverse the bed is to walk across the back frame, which consists of an inch-wide metal rung he cannot balance on and therefore he walks across it on three legs while the forth leg supports him from the mattress, and you will not convince him that he is not able to balance all the way without thus cheating (Artham)

bite brother if brother is being annoying

cry for brother if brother is too far away

sit like gentlemen to wait for dinner to be given

bite anything and everything that might fit in his mouth (Esben. I have replaced my laptop cord three times, preventative measures only go so far when you are thirteen lbs of determination and incisors)

roll over for belly scratches (Esben)

get the zoomies and scream like a banshee and ping around the home like a pinball (Artham) or smack straight into everything like a psychotic bulldozer (Esben)

come and cry at me if the litterbox in the bathroom needs to be cleaned out (Esben - the other litterbox is fine no matter how dirty apparently)

roll under the littermat and get himself all dusty and then look at me with Absolute Pride (Artham)

need to sleep under the blankets with me at night (both, they take turns but get mad when the other one beats them to it and refuse to share or sleep on either side of me - the loser sulks on the next best available sleeping space)

sleep in the window and when a neighbor walks by yell at them for attention

if one is in the window and the other is not when a neighbor walks by, the other brother will jump into the window (this results in cries of delight from said-neighbors when a second identical cat joins the first)

eat plastic bags (ILLEGAL, ARTHAM, NO)

sulk when I take away plastic bags because I value his continued existence (Artham)

come running when I turn on the kitchen sink because he loves to watch me wash the dishes (Esben)

sleep on the stove after the oven has been on because of the heat (Artham - I am very careful nothing is too hot, and He Is Not Allowed after the stove itself has been used, I just gave up on keeping him off indefinitely)

chase thrown toys down the hall, jump over them, and then run away from them (Esben)

eat tape (ESBEN STOP)

drop toys in the water bowls. repeatedly. (???)

get mad At Each Other if I am hanging out on my bed during the daytime because that is Cat Nap Space

jump up and run to the other side of the apartment so it doesn't look like he was cuddling his brother when I come home (Artham - the spot next to Esben is warm, he isn't fooling anyone)

eat books (Esben, I swear...)

play with his dozen chew toys and THEN eat books (Esben)

desire to be held in one hand at my hip, like a football (Artham)

watch brightly colored and/or animated movies with me (Artham)

watch serious and/or action thriller movies with me (Esben)

get upset if I am watching a movie with headphones

remain convinced the black cat plush pillow I have is an untrustworthy third brother and requires supervision

hang mostly upside down from a perch, my bed, a scratching post, etc. and yell happily at his toes (Artham)

become aware that he is not currently being petted and cuddled in bed and have no idea how to remedy this tragic situation other than to cry pitifully about it until I go get him (Esben)

be basically incorrigible alien goblins all day every day and I adore them so much, black cats are the best, adopted cats are life, I have lost half my sanity in managing them and would not give them up for anything under the sun.

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me to my cat: do you think you want some dinner?

my cat, who is curled up in my lap facing me with his big round owly eyes staring into my soul and his front paws stretched upward and pressed (lovingly? hungrily?) against my throat: yes

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Today is Esben and Artham's birthday 🎂 🐈‍⬛🥳

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Wait, do you have cats named Artham and Esben?

I do!

May I present to you, goblins 1 and 2, Artham on the left both times and Esben on the right. 😊

I have better pictures of them but there are so many in my camera roll lol

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If you max out your volume you can be blessed with the littlest goblin snores.

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can i have an artham and esben update 👀🥹

Absolutely!

Artham enjoying the window and warm warm sunshine yesterday morning:

And Esben 1) looking at me bc it's bedtime and my laptop is still out and therefore he is not being cuddled, and 2) reaching for pets bc holding him is not enough and he must resort to begging:

Also they will be 4 a week from Monday! 🥺💛🥳😊

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Artham and (Mr disembodied head) Esben say goodnight, everyone. 💛

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If you're wondering whether or not the Goblins are Extra, Artham has been lying in my lap facing away from me without being petted and after several glances back at me over his shoulder availed no garnering of new affection, he just full-on owl tilted his head backwards over his spine to bump my hand to ask for pets without moving any other part of his body.

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In case anyone wanted to know what my cats are doing right this very moment (97% reliability to be true at any point you see this post).

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Esben is curled up facing me and making biscuits on my sweater. This is important bc prior to this moment, he has only ever kneaded at one (1. his.) blanket since he was a kitten.

However, this does raise a concern of whether he is claiming the sweater also, seeing as one night he got so jealous of me wrapping myself up in his blanket that when I fell asleep, he dragged it off the bed and into the bathroom.

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In other news, I love love love love waking up with Esben curled in a big furry circle on my pillow next to me bc I snuggle closer to him and lay my head on his back and he, asleep, gives this little squeaky mumbly sigh and I love him so much.

Also, he is in danger of figuring out how to open my upper kitchen cabinets.

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artham is staring at all my crabs kajsfnlsdf

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Sometimes Esben cries at me from across the room bc he really wants to be cuddling under the blankets and has realized that he is currently not cuddling under the blankets and doesn't quite know how he got into this unacceptable and deeply upsetting predicament or how to rectify the situation until I call him over and lift up the blanket for him.

Conversely, Artham sometimes yells at me from across the room bc he is intentionally dangling from a perch and glimpses his own foot while 70% of him is upside down.

Cats, man.