#aromanticism true and beautiful forever

[knifearo]

aromanticism will win. this is both a threat and a joyous and hopeful promise

AROMANTICISM WILL WIN. YOU CANNOT FIGHT IT. THIS FUTURE IS BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND INESCAPABLE

[trickstersaint]

the aromantic poem twine genuinely made me cry (/pos)

i have no close aro friends and my family's attitude has always been 'oh, you'll find the right person eventually'

i am having so many feelings thank you this has been so so so healing :)

it can be really tough when you don't have anyone around you who understands you the way you want to be understood... unfortunately the majority of people haven't done the work of deconstructing amatonormativity the way that a lot of aromantic people have. but you know what. even as you are surrounded by people who don't understand. there Are people out there who do (and people who will actually listen to you and understand you better at the end of it). you're not alone, you're not broken, and aromanticism is something that can actually be so wonderful and beautiful when you get yourself to the point of seeing it that way :) so happy that you liked the poem and i'm so glad that it gave you that space to feel what you needed to feel. aromanticism true and beautiful forever and ever

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

DELHI, INDIA, PRIDE 2023 | 26TH NOVEMBER

Okay, now that I’m done being overwhelmed from all of this. Here’s what I want to say.

Every year that I attend pride, my heart grows bigger. There is no place in the world as safe as the one created between a crowd of people who are just trying to live their lives the way they want. You’ll never find a softer, happier and funnier place to be in. Like every time; I met some of the sweetest, nicest and funniest people this year. I’ll cherish that forever.

But here’s what I want to say; and this one’s for the younger kids. Representation matters so, so much in the world. It’s so important to see your stories on screen, in books, in art, in and around the world. It is crucial that we all have that. But, you also need to go out in the world and actually interact with the LGBTQIA+ community. It will be the biggest surprise of your life because you will realise how not-rigid and beautiful the community really is. The right terminology is absolutely important while referring to certain groups, but y’all have to understand that these are real people, we’re not just stories; we’re not just a stat, we’re real and the ones you meet in real life will teach you more about the community than anything else.

I’ve met and known people who call themselves fag, and they’re okay with it. You don’t get to tell them otherwise because there’s a history there. A history of reclaiming something that was used to hurt them. But there are also those who would never utter those terms. You don’t get to criticise them as well. When you meet these people, these very real people, it will blow you by the sheer strength of their will. It would be conflicting because social media teaches us there’s only way to be gay—it’s not true. You will meet fifty different types of trans people and everyone will be as special as they can. You will meet gays, lesbians, bisexuals, aspecs, aromanticism, pan sexuals/demi and a hundred other who are still trying to find a word for themselves. They will not be defined by their clothes, or their voices or their surgeries. They will only be defined by their kindness and heart but I repeat, you absolutely need to meet these people. They are real. We are real. And you will not find us on tumblr/social media discourses.

This one’s for the younger queer kids, please do not fall under the traps of the right way to be queer. Do not get into a pointless, intellectually superior discourse when there’s a living person standing in front of you, telling you who they are. When you’re only interacting with a community from behind a screen, you only see a one-dimensional picture. The truth is often far different.

The LGBTQIA+ community is not as rigid as tumblr/other forms of social media might make you believe. There is no right or wrong terminology in my opinion, no right or wrong way to live—you just have to accept that every person you meet can choose to do whatever the fuck they want.

But to really interact with the community and understand the history and our present fight, you need to interact with the ones outside. The ones living and breathing and fighting on the streets.

And to all the queer kids/adults who do not have access to these places and community yet, I am sending you all my love. I am putting alstroemerias in your hands, as they represent connection. Because when even if you all can’t be here, every time I am here, every time we are here, holding each other’s hands and hearts, we’re thinking of you. We’re fighting for you.

[pridepages]

All or Nothing: Loveless

I just finished Loveless by Alice Oseman. I have some thoughts.

Here there be spoilers!

Alice Oseman is a gift to LGBTQIA+ literature. She has mastered the art of Jane Austen: writing a book that apparently has very little plot, but is actually a depiction of some of the most important facets of every day life. Her most famous contribution to the canon, Heartstopper, is light, bright, and sparkling in tone. With Loveless, Oseman adds a more nuanced piece of work to her world.

The novel centers around Georgia Warr, a rising first year student at university who is desperate to star in her own romantic love story. She’s imbibed all the intoxicating tropes of allonormative fiction: she knows every meet cute, every slow burn, every AU under the sun. She’s studied up, and she’s ready to go. The problem is that when she tries to take it from fantasy to reality, she finds that she has zero sexual or romantic chemistry with anyone. Worse still, she’s repelled by everyone she tries with. Over the course of many failed experiments, and through an introduction to a lovely friend, Georgia must come to terms with her reality: she cannot find that fabled romantic love story with one person. She’s aromantic asexual.

Asexuality, let alone aromanticism, is a rare study in contemporary fiction. By placing Georgia’s self-discovery at the heart of the novel, Alice Oseman has provided a novelty to a community that rarely finds itself directly addressed. This is a new kind of coming out, and coming to terms, story: what does life look like when your relationships fit no kind of translatable norm? 

The answer provided to us is that Georgia is able to find beautiful, true love stories with her friends. As her new roommate, pansexual Rooney Bach declares to her: “I feel at home around you in a way I have never felt in my fucking life. And maybe most people would look at us and think we're just friends, or whatever, but I know that it's just...so much more than that. You fucking saved me, I swear to God.” 

Because whether we are aromantic or alloromantic, love comes in life in so many different forms. Just because society has prioritized one expression does not mean the others are less worthy.

Just as Georgia must come to grips with how she can give and receive love, so must the others in her life. Some people have been disquieted by the fact that the title of the novel is Loveless, fearing that it represents yet another jab at people on the aroace spectrum. I would argue that the title is, quietly, more nuanced than that: the majority of the rest of the characters may be alloromantic, but that doesn’t mean that they rest easy with the knowledge they are lovable.

Georgia’s friend Pip is an out-and-proud lesbian. But multiple times in the novel, Pip declares that she’s destined to be forever alone. Having been treated as a ‘gay experiment’ in the past, Pip believes she isn’t worthy of anything else. Georgia’s second friend Jason, apparently a straight man, has endured bullying in his life. Because that bullying centered around his being undesirable and unlovable, Jason rushed into romance and dating with the wrong people because he believed that it was his only shot and he didn’t deserve to hold out to be treated well. Newly discovered pansexual Rooney has embraced free sexuality and flirtation, but for her they don’t equate to love. She believes she deserves to be punished for having fallen in love with the wrong person, causing her to have made years’ worth of bad choices and sacrificed healthier friendships.

I think what this book is all about is really that we all struggle with what it means to love. Love comes in so many forms, and those forms shouldn’t be discounted just because they don’t fit preconceived notions. Love in all its forms is so rare in this world. When it comes our way, we need to keep eyes, arms, and heart open. Don’t miss it.

To my asexual, aromantic, or even allo family who dread feeling forever alone: I implore you to stop and ask yourself where you find love in this world. I have had days where I didn’t want to live anymore, but I asked myself who would take care of my dog if I wasn’t here? So, I decided it was worth sticking around a little longer. Calmer reflection reminded me of parents who try their best. Of friends who chose me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Of mentors who pushed me forward. Of kids in my classroom who gave me unexpected hugs and told me I was their favorite teacher.

Sometimes, love feels like an all or nothing affair. Either we’re the heroes of some grand romance or we’re the also-rans. But the reality is so much different. Love can be all around us. If we don’t stop and look around once in a while, we might miss it.

[kakitysax]

Okay so I just watched the first Frozen movie with my youngest sister because we’re both home sick? And. We STAN this whole thing being a mental health allegory???

Like, this movie is deeply relatable and like, resonant? To me. Specifically. Both of my younger sisters can attest to how scary and mean I was before I got help, and the sister closest to me in age (actually, the sister who has the same age gap with me that Anna has with Elsa) DEEPLY relates to Anna’s struggle to reach her older sister.

But what I actually want to talk about is the symbolism. Below the cut. This will literally destroy your dash, be warned.

Elsa’s ice powers represent something about herself - about her MIND - she feels the need to repress. That could be any number of things. Neurodivergence, emotion in general, maybe a personality disorder. Elsa doesn’t necessarily HAVE any of these things. The point is that the viewers might, and whatever this unnamed thing is, it can be both beautiful and harmful.

Her parents don’t understand, and unwittingly teach Elsa to be afraid of herself. 

As a result, Elsa starts to LOSE CONTROL OF HER POWERS. By teaching Elsa that this thing about her is something to be repressed, she becomes less and less able to ACTUALLY control them.

This increases her sense of isolation from other people, and she develops MAJOR anxiety and depression as a result. I mean, just look at the separation anxiety she felt when her parents had to leave.

“Do you have to go?”

Elsa is 18 here - terrified of herself and completely reliant on her parents to protect her and everyone around her from her powers.

ALRIGHT let’s skip the boring stuff

Blah blah blah, Anna’s lonely too, she needs love, falls in love too quickly, is desparate to marry Hans because she thinks this is the only day she’ll be able to form actual connections with other people...

All that stuff is really important, but what I want to talk about is the frozen kingdom that Elsa creates.

Overcome by feelings of freedom and joy, Elsa finally begins to regain control of the creative part of her powers, and one of the first things she creates is Olaf.

For everyone’s annoyance at Let It Go, it’s actually an amazing sequence and I relate to it a lot.

But what I find to be a BETTER reflection of the journey through Elsa’s psyche is Anna and Kristoff’s journey up the North Mountain.

I say “Journey,” but there’s really only three environments I want to talk about.

This is where Kristoff and Anna meet Olaf - a frozen wonderland of weeping willows. As they walk through it, Anna says “I never knew that Winter could be so beautiful.”

That line got me. Anna doesn’t actually know her sister. She likes a version of Elsa that exists in her head - a 13-year-old altered memory of a perfect older sister. But Elsa isn’t the warm fuzzy friend that Anna idealizes - she’s always been dignified, composed, and wonderfully creative - loving, yes, but in a cool kind of way. Anna expects Elsa to be a goofy playmate, and writes off the “wintery” parts of her as something bad, just like Elsa does. But walking through this wonderland, she sees a different aspect of the same Elsa - the good parts of the REAL Elsa. And THIS, fittingly, is where she meets Olaf.

Now something I noticed this time around is that during this scene, Olaf consistently looks towards Anna.

“I like warm hugs,” he says, turning to her, and he asks her for her name first.

He then relies on ANNA to tell him the names of Kristoff and Sven.

Elsa made Olaf for Anna. And because of this, Olaf is the EMBODIMENT of Elsa’s childhood love for her sister.

This is why he always goes back to Anna. This is why it didn’t count as an act of true love when Olaf was willing to melt for her, and why he is able to tell Anna what love is. Olaf’s love for Anna is Elsa’s love for Anna. Olaf IS love.

“Some people are worth melting for.”

Olaf loves summer. Thawing. Melting things. And it’s because, as we learn later in the movie, LOVE is the secret to melting Elsa’s ice, and breaking down her barriers.

Right okay back to environments.

The NEXT icy place they come across is THIS bitch

A hillside full of icy spikes that point towards whoever approaches. Another wall between Elsa and the people trying to reach her. Elsa consistently uses outward-pointing spikes to keep other people away.

Finally, they reach the CENTER of Elsa’s psyche: a palace made of ice.

Elsa’s ice palace is the culmination of Elsa’s creative powers, a reflection of her own mind.

But what’s really, REALLY interesting, is that like ice, it’s reflective. And after her conversation with Anna, the castle starts to change.

Immediately after hurting Anna, darkness spreads rapidly down the castle walls. The darkness is reminiscent of the fragile “dark ice” like the kind you would find on a fragile frozen pond. The ice is becoming less stable.

And later, when we see Elsa trying to regain control of herself, the color of the walls has changed completely to reflect her fear.

The spikes reappear, this time pointing inward - towards HERSELF.

Elsa’s mind is no longer a safe place for Elsa herself to be - and holy SHIT do I relate.

The last thing I want to talk about is the blizzard at the end of the movie.

Elsa is back in Arendelle, the very place she’s been trying to avoid the whole movie - the place she’s afraid of destroying with her powers. The whiteout is Elsa’s terror, furious and opaque. It’s BLINDING, not only to herself, but to everyone around her.

But the second Hans tells Elsa that Anna is dead

Everything Stops.

The wind stops, the storm receeds, snowflakes freeze in thin air. The world stops moving. Elsa stops feeling.

Hans drew his sword pretty loudly. But Elsa doesn’t care. She believes herself to be a monster, and no longer cares if she lives or dies.

This is basically the end of what I want to talk about, but I can’t exactly leave it here, so.

Anna saves Elsa, sacrificing herself in the truest form of love.

She does the Big Freezy thing and turns into an epic ice sculpture, which Elsa then wraps in what is likely the world’s most uncomfortable hug.

And then, starting from the heart first, Anna unfreezes.

The secret to Elsa’s powers is revealed to be love, not fear. And, sealing my love for Elsa with a fucking kiss, Elsa IMMEDIATELY latches on. She’s been searching for an answer for this for her entire life, and is able to apply the one she finds INSTANTLY. She lets her love for Arendelle and everyone around her reshape her mind into a place of safety and wonder. 

Everyone lives happily ever after, my sister cries, I nod stoically because I’m almost incapable of genuine emotion, Elsa is the most relatable Disney Princess and I adore her forever.

I know that none of this is a hot take but I really wanted to ramble about it anyway. This is a really good movie. Friendly reminder that just because something is mainstream doesn’t mean that it sucks. One time I was talking about how much I related to Elsa and Dad said that I was “a demographic.” Like. Okay? What’s the fucking issue with that? So Disney created a story that can resonate with a wide group of people, what’s the shame in being one of the people it touches? The real issue here is that so many young people can relate to repression and mental illness, like, what the fuck?

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Join me next time (never) while I talk about the equally relatable Frozen Two’s arc of delving deeper into the knowledge of what you’ve repressed, Elsa’s obvious aromanticism, and the fact that the Trolls are evil masterminds who have deeply wronged both of the first movie’s male protagonists.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

8 Ace Books Everyone Should Read This Pride Month

I often think that those on the ace spectrum are amongst the most misunderstood in the LGBTQ+ community. Asexuality is an absence of sexual attraction but that doesn’t necessarily mean an absence of romantic attraction. There are also people who identify as aromantic but who do experience sexual attraction. The ace spectrum has what is known as a ‘gray area’ which includes sub-identities such as demisexuality, a sexual attraction only to people with whom one has an emotional connection. I think that the ace spectrum is one of the clearest indicators that sexual and romantic orientations are completely different things and therefore they don’t actually have to match up within the same person. For a while now, I’ve been considering the fact that my own sexual and romantic orientations do not quite match. I’m pretty sure I’m actually heteromantic bisexual and I honestly only have the relatively recent dismantling and separation of sexual and romantic attraction, largely spearheaded by the exposure and discussion of the ace spectrum, to thank for the realisation of that possibility. Anyways, here are a few books with characters who fall somewhere under the ace umbrella. -Love, Alex x

1. Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann.

When Alice comes out as asexual, her girlfriend dumps her and she swears off dating for good but then handsome Takumi enters her life and she can’t seem to ignore the rom-com level of feels. It’s funny, cute and so thoroughly readable with a very relatable protagonist, making it a fantastic book for normalising asexuality.

2. Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp.

When Corey’s best friend Kyra dies, she realises that their small Alaskan town is behaving very strangely and keeping secrets. I’ll admit that this book doesn’t have particularly high ratings on Goodreads and that’s probably because it promises to be more atmospheric and eerie than it is. However, Corey’s asexuality isn’t a driving factor of the plot -she simply is, which I find wonderfully refreshing. She is also questioning which I think will provide a window for people who are still figuring things out.

3. The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow.

Ellie and Morris live in a dystopian world, devoid of emotional and creative expression, but they both risk their lives for their love of the forbidden arts. This is a wonderfully unique sci-fi with both main characters displaying demisexuality. It’s definitely one for bookworms and pop culture nerds who would die to protect creativity and emotional freedom.

4. How To Be A Normal Person by T. J. Klune.

Gus is an eccentric soul and he’s fine with not fitting in until he meets asexual bohemian Casey and he vows to become as normal as possible. It’s funny, heartwarming and incredibly queer with an array of fantastic side characters. This is a great book for learning more about the ace spectrum and a lovely positive depiction of a loving, respectful ace relationship.

5. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire.

When children return from other worlds, they are forever changed and Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children is there for them until they can fall back through their door. These whimsical novellas are brimming with diverse queer characters and this first instalment is narrated by asexual teen Nancy. The clear distinctions between asexuality and aromanticism are talked about but I love how identity and sexuality is never a plot point or defining characteristic in these stories. 

6. Upside Down by N. R. Walker.

When recently dumped Hennessey moves to a new town, he sets up a support and social group for LGBT+ people, which is where he meets socially awkward Jordan. There is a lot of asexual education without being too preachy and I learnt so much from this very sugary gay romance. If you like a bit of tension or drama, it’s probably not for you but if you’re looking for an easy, funny, cute read, pick it up!

7. Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman.

When her sister dies, Rumi is sent to live with her aunt in Hawaii where she makes some unlikely friends and eventually finds the courage to return to the music that she and her sister loved so dearly. Rumi is asexual and aromantic and she’s terrified that she’ll never find anyone who understands her like her sister did. As you might expect, this book is devastating but so beautiful.

8. Loveless by Alice Oseman.

When Georgia starts university, she’s sure that her love life will finally begin but she is about to learn what true love really entails. Loveless isn’t actually released until next month but it’s a HIGHLY anticipated book charting an asexual aromantic’s learning and self-acceptance as well as being a true celebration of platonic love. Pre-order it now!

[the-fanciful]

MY 2017 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER: Action Bronson - "Bluechips 7000" Amir Obe - "None Of The Clocks Work" Aviator - "Loneliness Leaves The Light On For Me" Brockhampton - "SATURATION" Brockhampton - "SATURATION II" Brockhampton - "SATURATION III" Citizen - "As You Please" Converge - "The Dusk In Us" Code Orange - "Forever" The Contortionist - "Clairvoyant" Counterparts - "You're Not You Anymore" Daniel Caesar - "Freudian" END - "From the Unforgiving Arms of God" Field Medic - "Songs from the Sunroom" Fit for an Autopsy - "The Great Collapse" The Glorious Sons - "Young Beauties and Fools" Harry Styles - "Harry Styles" Incendiary - "Thousand Mile Stare" John Mayer - "The Search for Everything" Kendrick Lamar - "DAMN." Kevin Garret - "False Hope" Like Moths to Flames - "Dark Divine" Lorde - "Melodrama" Make Them Suffer - "Worlds Apart" The Menzingers - "After the Party" The Midnight - "Nocturnal" Moses Sumney - "Aromanticism" The Neighbourhood - "HARD" Northlane - "Mesmer" Paramore - "After Laughter" Phoebe Bridges - "Stranger in the Alps" Rex Orange County - "Apricot Princess" Sampha - "Process" Sean Leon - "I Think You've Gone Mad (Or the Sins of the Father)" Sean Leon - "Can't Come With Me This Time" Snoh Aalegra - "FEELS" Stick To Your Guns - "True View" Thy Art is Murder - "Dear Desolation" Tyler, The Creator - "(Scum Fuck) Flower Boy" Vera Blue - "Perennial" Vince Staples - "Big Fish Theory" P.S. Please stop posting your AOTY lists before the year is over so much good shit comes out in December every year so stop taking the L. P.P.S. Maybe I'm the internet's busiest music nerd? P.P.P.S. "Blonde" will always be album of the year #actionbronson #amirobe #aviator #brockhampton #citizen #converge #codeorange #thecontortionist #counterparts #danielcaesar #end #fieldmedic #fitforanautopsy #theglorioussons #harrystyles #incendiary #johnmayer #kendricklamar #kevingarret #likemothstoflames #lorde #makethemsuffer #themenzingers #themidnight #mosessumney #theneighborhood #northlane #paramore #pheobebridges #rexorangecounty #sampha #seanleon #snohaalegra #sticktoyourguns #thyartismurder #tylerthecreator #verablue #vincestaples

[sage-nebula]

♡ and ♒ for Sycamore, ☆ and ☮ for Alain, ■ for Manon, and ♥ for Meyer!

Sycamore—

♡ Romantic Headcanon: 

Sycamore is, and always has been, absolutely a romantic at heart. He acknowledges, when he thinks of it, that this might seem like something of a cliché; one of Kalos’ primary stereotypes is that it’s the most romantic and lovey-dovey regions, and while that isn’t as true as some other regions of the world would like to believe (Kanto in particular tend to take romanticization too far when it comes to Kalos), he also knows that he’s not exactly helping matters (if they can be helped) by being such a hopeless romantic himself. However, he has long since come to terms with himself and has accepted that, well, he is a romantic. He’s not so much a romantic in the “love forever at first sight” kind of way, but more so in the sense that he loves candlelit dinners, walks on the beach at sunset, heartfelt conversations while cuddling in bed, bouquets specially crafted for an individual, homemade chocolates and candies—things like that. (Not that he can actually make chocolates, mind you, but he really likes the idea. Funnily enough, this is a tradition that actually originated in Johto, so for all that Kantoneans might look at Kalos as being the region of love and romance, Sycamore thinks perhaps they should look next door a little more often.) He also does believe in true love, in a sense. Again, it’s not so much that he believes in love at first sight, or even so much that someone can have only one true love in their lifetime. More like, Sycamore believes that true love can be found, and can be developed, and two people can love each other for the rest of their natural lives … but that this relationship, like all relationships, does need equal input from both parties and isn’t something that can just exist without some effort being put in. True love exists, but effortless true love does not, if that makes sense. And this doesn’t make the notion any less romantic to Sycamore. If anything, it makes it more romantic in his eyes, because the idea that two people could come together to equally work on the love shared between them is, in his eyes, one of the most beautiful concepts of all.

All of this said, Sycamore has only ever had romantic / sexual attraction to men. And specifically, he has a type, and that type tends to be broad shouldered and muscular, more often than not with facial hair of some kind, and often some body hair, too. That’s his type sexually, anyway; romantically he’s attracted to bravery, loyalty, sincerity, fun-loving and exciting individuals, with a bonus (night requirement, really, after he unofficially adopts Alan) of being family-oriented (or at the very least tolerant of children, because honestly, if you can’t accept his kid you’re going to have to get out of his life, no exceptions). These are just some base traits of what he looks for in a partner, but it’s enough to give you a general gist. ;)

All of that said, it should be noted that as much as he is a hopeless romantic at heart, this doesn’t mean that Sycamore sees romance as being all-important, or the end-all, be-all of relationships. Far from it, in fact. He’s the one who introduces a rather concerned, anxious Alan to what aromanticism and asexuality are, talks him through the concepts and helps him realize that this is perfectly fine and normal, and that he’s fine (more than, really—he’s marvelous) just the way he is. Sycamore’s a romantic, but there are so many different types of love out there and he’s open and inclusive to all of them, not a worry about that. (In other words, he adores his aroace son. Again, if you can’t accept his kid, get out of his life.)

♒ Cooking / Food Headcanon:

Sycamore’s cooking ability is … rather all over the place.

To be entirely honest, he didn’t do much in the way of cooking at all prior to unofficially adopting Alan. In childhood, prior to setting out on his journey, his parents did all the cooking for him (as is to be expected, given that he was a child). After setting out on his journey, he mostly carried non-perishable food goods and snacks (like, a half of a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a jar of jam, for instance) with him that he could slap together while on the road / in the event he didn’t make it to a town with a restaurant. After abandoning his journey to return to school (and then university) it still wasn’t a problem because the schools had cafeterias / on-campus eateries that he could partake in. So even though his university roommate, Fulbert, told him time and again that he should learn how to cook real food, because one day he was going to actually have to be (gasp!) an adult and fend for himself, and when that day came he wouldn’t have a cafeteria to cook for him, Sycamore usually waved that commentary off (or used one hand to mime a talking mouth) while eating cereal out of a baseball helmet. (You may remember Fulbert bringing that one up during the fight he had with Sycamore over whether or not Sycamore was right to take / should keep Alan. If you ask Fulbert, it is one of the most outrageous things Sycamore ever did during their time as roommates, “… and that’s saying something.”)

After university, when he lived on his own, he realized that, to a degree, Fulbert had been right. (Note: He never told Fulbert this, and never would.) However, he still didn���t really learn to cook. He had cereal, and could make sandwiches, and sometimes when he was feeling very fancy he’d get one of those frozen dinners to toss in a skillet or in the oven to cook. Sometimes they had vegetables and everything. Amazing. However, after unofficially adopting Alan, Sycamore quickly came to the realization that things like eating cake for breakfast, or cereal for all three meals, isn’t exactly a good diet for a five-year-old child—and that, if he’s going to have this five-year-old child that is living with him eat nutritious meals, he should probably make a concentrated effort to improve the standards of food around the house. So with that said, Sycamore got some recipes from his parents and started making dedicated efforts to learn how to cook. Some efforts were more successful than others. Sycamore is very good with various kinds of pasta dishes, as well as various soups. To his frustration, he can’t bake worth a damn for the most part, with the exception of cookies that he and Alan make every year for Festival de la Vie. (Thus, birthday cakes and the like are usually store-bought, but he still makes sure to get very good ones.) He started eating three square meals a day along with Alan, as well as little snacks throughout the day, and marveled at the fact that actually eating a healthier, more balanced diet really did give him more energy and made him feel better. Who knew. 

(A reminder: Sycamore had just turned twenty-five when he took Alan in—like, I think my current timeline has it about five days after his twenty-fifth birthday. So he was still in his mid-twenties when that happened, and it happened suddenly, so I think we can forgive him for being a bit of a mess, especially since—considering the lab and his status as a professor and everything—he was still far less of a mess than I am right now at age twenty-seven.)

Alan—

☆ Happy Headcanon:

One of Alan’s absolute favorite activities—something that is guaranteed to make him feel at peace, feel free, feel happy—is flying on Lizardon. The feeling is, to him, nigh indescribable; there’s the thrill that comes with swooping through the air, whether Lizardon is diving, or pulling a turn so sharp that he at first shoots straight up into the air, and then flips into a turn so smooth that for a moment Alan is actually parallel to the ground before Lizardon rolls in the air and rights them again. Lizardon likes to push his speed, to fly faster and stronger depending on the flight, and if he mega evolves during the flight then his endurance and speed is even greater. The thrill is definitely there, and Alan does love the thrill of it. He would be lying if he said he didn’t (and trust me, he isn’t a liar). Both of them love the thrill of it.

But it’s more than that, too. There’s something about the sky that makes him feel alive and free. He feels truly awake when they’re flying, and as such it’s often one of the very first things he does when he wakes up. The two of them go for a morning flight, not only so that Lizardon can stretch his wings, but because although Alan will still have some morning coffee when they get back, flying first thing wakes him up in a way few other things do. There’s something about the air in his lungs at that altitude, the wind through his hair, the sunlight (or moonlight) on his skin; breathing is easier in the sky, and the feeling of himself is something both more real and more … okay than in other circumstances. In the sky, nothing can touch them. They slow or stop for nothing and no one. It’s just the two of them, just Alan and Lizardon, in their own world. Whenever things get to be a bit too much on the ground, Alan knows that flying can make him feel better, even if that feeling is only temporarily. He can enjoy it, for that moment. It’s bliss incarnate. 

Aside from flying, he also loves battling—and, specifically, he loves battling opponents that are truly on his level. This is not, as some might believe, because he has a thirst for combat, or for dominating opponents. While he does want to be the strongest, he wants that strength to protect others, and defeating increasingly strong opponents is a part of this only because it gives him the knowledge (and with knowledge comes a feeling of security to ease his anxieties) that he and Lizardon have the strength necessary to protect those they love / the world. (And also each other, but we all know how much Alan thinks about protecting himself. It’s okay, though; Alan’s safety is at least a concern to Lizardon.) So the reason why battling brings Alan joy isn’t about that particular goal of his, nor is it about anything ridiculous like blood lust. On the contrary, Alan finds joy in battling because it’s something that he and Lizardon do together, that they work toward together. Battles aren’t just about the pokémon engaging in combat against each other, nor are they about the trainer shouting commands. They’re not about trophies, medals, or accolades. Instead, they’re about the bond between the human and the pokémon; they’re about the two of them working in tandem, working in sync, accomplishing the same goal together, walking the same path together. Training is a part of this, absolutely (and he loves training with Lizardon, too), but when they’re battling an opponent on their level, Alan’s entire mind focuses on the battle, and on Lizardon, and on what the two of them are accomplishing together. When he wins and feels that rush of euphoria, it’s not just because he won, but rather because they won, together.

And in that, you might notice a theme between these two activities: Alan is happiest when he is with Lizardon, and specifically, when they are doing something that lets them fall into sync, where although they are two individuals, it’s really the two of them … as one. Flying is like this, because even though Lizardon is the one actually flying, anyone who has ever, say, ridden horseback can tell you that the rider puts just as much physical exertion into that as the horse does. Horseback riders have some serious muscle definition, and the exact same thing is true for dragon riders. And with a battle that seriously engages both of them, the same is true; they are both wholly engaged, and we’ve seen multiple times in canon when they even mirror each other’s body language during battles, because that’s how in sync they are. This is particularly true for mega evolution; mega evolution is dependent on their bond, and they have not faced struggles with this because their bond is strong enough that, even when they are both tense and angry during a battle (such as when battling Lysandre in the Flare arc), far from risking Lizardon losing control, all it does is make them both stronger. But the point is, these activities—flying with Lizardon, battling alongside him … these are things Alan enjoys, absolutely and unreservedly. He’s at his most peaceful during a solitary flight with just the two of them, and his most enthusiastic and energetic in a fierce battle (against a good friend—enemies are a different story, but against a dear friend? Look no further than every match he ever has with Ash to see just how happy those battles make him).

Smaller things that make him happy include, but are not limited to: Coffee (and mochas), sweets of various kinds (especially dark chocolate), spending time with and meeting new pokémon, good music, engrossing and entertaining books (both non-fiction and fiction), various board games and some video games, select TV shows, really comfy clothes, positive attention / affection from Sycamore (not that this is hard to get, but he’s happy and grateful every time), really soft blankets and fabrics, and sunny, warm days.

☮ Friendship Headcanon:

Alan has always found it far easier to befriend pokémon than people.

Part of this, as you could guess, stems from the abuse and neglect he had for the first five years of his life, growing up in Isolé Village. While he was far from a feral child (he was, after all, raised by people and not pokémon), the adults in the village all disparaged and disliked him, viewing him as an unwanted burden, and the other children in the village picked up on that and saw him as a convenient target to either blame their own indiscretions on, or otherwise bully without any repercussions. For this reason, the first friend Alan ever had was Soot the houndour puppy, whom he unwittingly stole from its pack, which caused the houndour raid and destruction that resulted in Sycamore finding him in the mountains. Funny how these things work out.

Over the seven years he spent living at the lab (bridging the time from when Sycamore brought him home to when he left on his journey), he slowly opened up and developed some social skills, and became (as we see in the flashbacks) a much happier, brighter child. But he’s still a reserved person by nature, still has some shyness to him, and the truth is that while there are other children in Lumiose City that he could have befriended, potentially, Alan spent a lot of time at the lab, or kept to himself when he was out in the city (or else stuck by Sycamore’s side if they were out together). So he still spent most of his time around Sycamore, any other adults that Sycamore had by the lab (Sophie if she was working, Fulbert or Meyer if they were visiting, et cetera), and thus by the pokémon. I don’t think Alan consciously thinks this way, but subconsciously he finds pokémon more trustworthy than people. I mean, thinking back to Isolé Village, none of the pokémon he ever encountered hated him on principle or mistreated him. Pretty much every human he ever knew before meeting Sycamore did. Even if he doesn’t consciously think about it, that sort of thing sticks with a person, especially a small child. So he’s far more likely to open up to a new pokémon than he is a new person. It’s not uncharacteristic of him to initiate conversation with someone only so that he can ask if it’s all right if he pets their pokémon, particularly if it’s a new one he hasn’t encountered before.

ALL OF THAT SAID— Sycamore did, when he could, gently encourage Alan to interact with children around his age whenever the occasion arose. He never pushed—he fully respects that Alan is reserved, he understands precisely why this is (natural personality + experiences), he doesn’t want to force Alan to do anything that makes him uncomfortable. But like, that summer camp is an annual thing, right? So I imagine that Alan must have attended, though most years he just helped out, because he was the Professor’s assistant, after all, it’s his job to help run it. But one year Louie (yeah, that Louie) decided to single him out as a Rival™, and Alan took the bait (tl;dr: Louie suggested that maybe he could be an assistant for Sycamore too, Alan coolly said they weren’t hiring, Louie said “then I’ll just show him how smart and impressive and great I am and take your job” and at that point the gauntlet was thrown, and more specifically, thrown by Alan), so he ended up asking Sycamore if he could participate this time. Sycamore was very excited because yes, yes, Alan wanted to go play with the other children, he wanted to make some friends!!, all the while not realizing that, no, Alan and Lizardon just wanted to beat the shit out of Louie and Garchoo. Whoops. (Well, not Louie specifically, but his pride got pretty badly wounded. He remembers this for all those years to come, while Alan pretty much forgets Louie exists after the summer camp. Whoops.) But that rivalry aside, for the scavenger hunt portion Alan is partnered up with Ayaka (yes, that Ayaka) and, depending on how I want to swing this, potentially anime-verse!Emma. The three of them make a pretty good team (Team Vowel, since all three of their names start with vowel sounds), and so there’s a light friendship there.

(I’ve also considered a situation where, possibly, Emma could be an on-again, off-again childhood friend—like maybe they run into each other around Lumiose City a lot in various different circumstances, and Emma calls him “books-for-brains” and teases him for staying in studying all the time, and Alan surprises her by showing her that he’s just as capable of scaling buildings and running across rooftops as she is, that sort of thing. Maybe they go years without talking, and then even as the police try every trick they can think of to pin some charge on him for the Flare nonsense (fighting tooth and nail against Diantha all the while), the Looker Bureau—and specifically, Emma—steps up to say nope, nu-uh, no way, that’s bogus, we did our own investigation and you’ve got nothin’, and also you’re violating a couple laws here so you might wanna stop. But I don’t know, that’s all up in the air, it’s just something I’ve considered before.)

In general, when it comes to human friendships, Alan gravitates toward people who are a.) great with pokémon, and b.) are not pushy, and therefore c.) respect his boundaries and the fact that he’s very introverted, still reserved even as he grows, and needs his space at times. Pretentious attitudes and arrogance are extremely off-putting to him, as are bullies, people who are almost constantly loud and hyperactive (it’s one thing to get excited sometimes, but it’s another to be Extra™ all the damn time—that is exhausting for an introvert like Alan), and of course people who are cruel to or mistreat pokémon. (That’s not even a “we can’t be friends” thing for him. That’s an instant “we are enemies” thing for him. No excuses.) 

Manon—

■Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon :

Manon grew up in a boarding house, which is run by her aunt. For those who are unfamiliar, a boarding house is sort of like a dorm for adults; it’s a house that is filled with bedrooms that tenants can rent for short or extended stays (sometimes up to years), and has common areas such as a living room, dining room, bathrooms, et cetera. If you’ve ever seen the cartoon Hey Arnold!, Arnold lives in a boarding house. That’s where Manon grew up.

The boarding house itself is pretty old. It’s a building made of brick and has a very antiquated feel to it, and much of the furniture inside also seems to be several decades out of date, both due to Manon’s aunt’s taste in furniture, and also due to the fact that even with tenants money can still be scarce, particularly with the medical bills for Manon’s mother. (Manon’s mother is unwell; due to an accident that happened around the time of Manon’s birth that no one will tell her about, her mother’s physical health is frail and her mental health tends to be a bit unstable. She has her days of lucidity, when she’s perfectly aware of everything around her and remembers most things, but then she also has periods where she thinks that she’s several decades in the past, isn’t really aware of what’s going on around her, doesn’t recognize her daughter at all, et cetera. She’s still sweet and kind to Manon either way, so she’s never been abusive or anything, but she does need active care, and that’s what Manon’s aunt provides for her.) But despite being an old building the boarding house is still in good shape (as is the furniture inside), and is three stories tall. Manon’s room is on the top floor (because she likes to feel tall), and faces the street. She has a big window with a bench seat in it, and she often liked to sit on that and people / pokémon watch from the window. She would sketch pictures of the people she saw going by in her diary and make up stories about them. She still does this sometimes, even as an adult, albeit from outdoor seats at cafés instead of from her bedroom window.

Back to the point: Manon’s bedroom is actually one of the largest in the boarding house, second probably only to her aunt’s room and her mother’s room. She has the big window with the bench seat, as well as a four-poster bed with a sheer canopy, like a princess. She has an unfortunate shag carpet (which is light green), and a wallpaper border up against the ceiling that has rainbow imagery. She has a bookshelf against the wall across from her bed, but rather than books, every single shelf is stuffed with plushies instead. (She also has a lot of plushies on her bed. Like, a lot. She has a lot of plushies.) Her walls are dotted with various drawings, as well as some pictures she liked from magazines, usually of models or actresses she really liked for whatever reason. (Years later, as a teenager, she would come to realize what that reason was and have an, “OOHHHHHH” moment.) Her four-poster bed frame is white wood, and she has white wood dressers and nightstands as well. Her table lamp has a flowery lampshade.

Her bedroom aside, as mentioned, everything else in the boarding house was pretty old-fashioned. Shag carpets abound, rickety wooden stairs leading between each of the floors, a swinging door leading into the kitchen. Still, Manon spent plenty of time rampaging around the boarding house growing up (albeit she wasn’t always allowed in the tenants’ rooms—only with their permission, and how well she got on with them varied from tenant to tenant), so it’s still home to her even long after she’s grown, despite her complicated relationships with her mother and aunt. (Like, she loves them, but her mother is ill and her aunt is always tired and rather harried, plus can be rather stern, so particularly around the times she leaves to become a trainer, she’s not as close to them as she would like, and for example, didn’t think of them once during the Flare crisis until all was said and done. She felt really bad about that and resolved to make things better, and over the years both she and her aunt make a concentrated effort to have a closer relationship, and make a lot of progress as well. Her mother, for understandable reasons, finds it harder—but Manon still makes an effort to spend more time with her.) Additionally, Manon has always found it super cool that she grew up in a boarding house, because there are often very interesting tenants who sometimes told her cool stories of things they had experienced, and plus, how many kids could say they grew up in a boarding house? Hardly any, if any. But she could, and that’s cool. Even as an adult she doesn’t regret it. She still thinks it’s cool. Try and tell her it’s not and you’ll be wrong in her eyes, so there.

Meyer—

♥ Family Headcanon:

Family is very, very important to Meyer. He grew up in a family-oriented household; as the second oldest of four siblings, he naturally slipped into the role of helping look after his two younger siblings while also spending time with his older one, and loved spending time with both of his parents as well. His parents, in fact, would often arrange family vacations, board game nights, et cetera to try and spend more time with the kids whenever they were home. Various journeys made this difficult, but letters and phone calls were important. Meyer learned the importance of family quite early on.

So of course, this has transferred to how he treats his own family. When he and Teresa ended up divorcing, it was important to both of them that it be amicable. In fact, while they did attend some couple’s therapy to try and work things out and mediate, both were very attentive to the fact that it had gotten to a point where they just weren’t a good fit anymore, and decided to part ways while it still could be amicable, versus when things had gotten so toxic that they couldn’t even be friends anymore. As such? They still are friends, and this is very, very good with regards to Clemont and Bonnie (and it was really because of Clemont and Bonnie that Meyer and Teresa were so attentive to this; neither one wanted the kids to suffer). Bonnie, fortunately, was only around three at the time, so honestly she was too little to really recognize that her parents were divorcing and that Meyer had moved out. Clemont, on the other hand, was about six, so he was more aware of it and it didn’t make him happy. He understood enough to know that Meyer had moved out, that Meyer and Teresa weren’t going to be married anymore, and from his perspective he took it to mean that Meyer didn’t want to be with them as a family anymore, that he wanted to leave and go do other things because he didn’t love them as much. Meyer assured him this was not the case, as did Teresa, but Clemont was still hurt and standoffish for a while. Meyer gave him space to come to terms with his feelings, and once Clemont realized that Meyer still loved them (and that Meyer and Teresa were still on good terms, both wanted this, et cetera), he came around and was able to have a good relationship with Meyer again. (Meyer, of course, was very grateful, because trust me, that wasn’t easy for Meyer, either.)

In later years, Meyer marries Sycamore and gains a husband, and in so doing he also gains a stepson, Alan. Meyer had actually known Alan for years prior to this point; Sycamore and Meyer were friends back when Sycamore first brought Alan home, and so in a way Meyer has seen Alan grow up, albeit in that sort of neighborly, family friend kind of way prior to the romance blossoming between Sycamore and Meyer. (So, a much spottier version than what Sycamore bore witness to, but nonetheless.) He already had some familiarity with Alan therefore, knew he was a good kid, and that helped him have faith in Alan after the Flare crisis was all said and done. (Like, he didn’t even have a moment of doubt. Sycamore had some trepidation about what Meyer might think at first, and was quite relieved to see that there wasn’t a doubt in Meyer’s mind that Alan was a good—albeit hurting, at the moment—kid.) Teresa has some trepidation about Alan spending time around Clemont and Bonnie—she doesn’t think he’s a bad person, per se, nor does she think that he’s a criminal or intentionally dangerous or anything like that, but she just worries that an accident could happen, you know, she’s just uncertain—but Meyer assures her that Alan is good and that he’ll be careful with Clemont and Bonnie, and she trusts Meyer, so she trusts Alan, too. Even before Alan is his stepson, Meyer takes care to make sure that no one within earshot has misconceptions about him.

(And specifically, the situation with Teresa happens when Meyer goes to pick up Clemont and Bonnie for a visitation weekend, and Bonnie cheerfully says she called Alan to come pick her up, and there’s a moment of surprise before Alan gets there because, well, he had some free time, and Bonnie called him to ask him if he could fly her back on Lizardon, so he agreed. And he’s able to take her with him, but that’s when Teresa and Meyer have a talk because Teresa has trepidation about Bonnie just flying off on a charizard like that, even with the charizard’s trainer right there, because accidents could happen and, well, the Flare crisis was a pretty big accident—but again, things get smoothed over. Clemont chimes in and helps some, too. He knows Alan is a good guy. Teresa doesn’t need to be worried; Bonnie’s safe with Alan.)

Meyer really makes an effort to reach out to Alan, because it’s important to him that Alan knows that he is a welcome part of this family. (He is, as a fic that I’m planning to post on Father’s Day will show, the one who finally clues Sycamore into the fact that he needs to talk to Alan about adoption and, more importantly, actually officially adopt the boy already—in the prime timeline, at least, Meyer is the one who does that.) He doesn’t want Alan to feel left out, or like he can’t be there, and the two of them do get along pretty well. Sycamore, of course, is delighted by this. (Because again, looking above, accepting Alan is a requirement for serious romantic relationships. Ex-boyfriend Lionel learned this the hard way.)

So yes, Meyer is quite family oriented. He cares a lot about the kids and also his husband. And it doesn’t matter that Alan is technically his stepson (or even that Alan isn’t even his stepson yet in, say, To Devour the Sun), because he loves him just the same. Again, he’s part of the family, and once Meyer and Sycamore are married he’s one of the kids. That he’s Meyer’s son by marriage doesn’t matter. Still counts just the same.

[knifearo]

finally found aro positivity when I needed it most good lord😭😭

kissing you gently on the forehead we're gonna make it through this alright and there is gonna be so much sunshine awaiting us at the other end. aromanticism true and beautiful forever and ever

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

Okay, now that I’m done being overwhelmed from all of this. Here’s what I want to say.

Every year that I attend pride, my heart grows bigger. There is no place in the world as safe as the one created between a crowd of people who are just trying to live their lives the way they want. You’ll never find a softer, happier and funnier place to be in. Like every time; I met some of the sweetest, nicest and funniest people this year. I’ll cherish that forever.

But here’s what I want to say; and this one’s for the younger kids. Representation matters so, so much in the world. It’s so important to see your stories on screen, in books, in art, in and around the world. It is crucial that we all have that. But, you also need to go out in the world and actually interact with the LGBTQIA+ community. It will be the biggest surprise of your life because you will realise how not-rigid and beautiful the community really is. The right terminology is absolutely important while referring to certain groups, but y’all have to understand that these are real people, we’re not just stories; we’re not just a stat, we’re real and the ones you meet in real life will teach you more about the community than anything else.

I’ve met and known people who call themselves fag, and they’re okay with it. You don’t get to tell them otherwise because there’s a history there. A history of reclaiming something that was used to hurt them. But there are also those who would never utter those terms. You don’t get to criticise them as well. When you meet these people, these very real people, it will blow you by the sheer strength of their will. It would be conflicting because social media teaches us there’s only way to be gay—it’s not true. You will meet fifty different types of trans people and everyone will be as special as they can. You will meet gays, lesbians, bisexuals, aspecs, aromanticism, pan sexuals/demi and a hundred other who are still trying to find a word for themselves. They will not be defined by their clothes, or their voices or their surgeries. They will only be defined by their kindness and heart but I repeat, you absolutely need to meet these people. They are real. We are real. And you will not find us on tumblr/social media discourses.

This one’s for the younger queer kids, please do not fall under the traps of the right way to be queer. Do not get into a pointless, intellectually superior discourse when there’s a living person standing in front of you, telling you who they are. When you’re only interacting with a community from behind a screen, you only see a one-dimensional picture. The truth is often far different.

The LGBTQIA+ community is not as rigid as tumblr/other forms of social media might make you believe. There is no right or wrong terminology in my opinion, no right or wrong way to live—you just have to accept that every person you meet can choose to do whatever the fuck they want.

But to really interact with the community and understand the history and our present fight, you need to interact with the ones outside. The ones living and breathing and fighting on the streets.

And to all the queer kids/adults who do not have access to these places and community yet, I am sending you all my love. I am putting alstroemerias in your hands, as they represent connection. Because when even if you all can’t be here, every time I am here, every time we are here, holding each other’s hands and hearts, we’re thinking of you. We’re fighting for you.

my favorite day of the year is here!!!!- ITS THE DELHI PRIDE Y’ALL!!!!! I hope the ones out of you in Delhi are attending!!!

[the-fanciful]

MY 2017 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER: Action Bronson - "Bluechips 7000" Amir Obe - "None Of The Clocks Work" Aviator - "Loneliness Leaves The Light On For Me" Brockhampton - "SATURATION" Brockhampton - "SATURATION II" Brockhampton - "SATURATION III" Citizen - "As You Please" Converge - "The Dusk In Us" Code Orange - "Forever" The Contortionist - "Clairvoyant" Counterparts - "You're Not You Anymore" Daniel Caesar - "Freudian" END - "From the Unforgiving Arms of God" Field Medic - "Songs from the Sunroom" Fit for an Autopsy - "The Great Collapse" The Glorious Sons - "Young Beauties and Fools" Harry Styles - "Harry Styles" Incendiary - "Thousand Mile Stare" John Mayer - "The Search for Everything" Kendrick Lamar - "DAMN." Kevin Garret - "False Hope" Like Moths to Flames - "Dark Divine" Lorde - "Melodrama" Make Them Suffer - "Worlds Apart" The Menzingers - "After the Party" The Midnight - "Nocturnal" Moses Sumney - "Aromanticism" The Neighbourhood - "HARD" Northlane - "Mesmer" Paramore - "After Laughter" Phoebe Bridges - "Stranger in the Alps" Rex Orange County - "Apricot Princess" Sampha - "Process" Sean Leon - "I Think You've Gone Mad (Or the Sins of the Father)" Sean Leon - "Can't Come With Me This Time" Snoh Aalegra - "FEELS" Stick To Your Guns - "True View" Thy Art is Murder - "Dear Desolation" Tyler, The Creator - "(Scum Fuck) Flower Boy" Vera Blue - "Perennial" Vince Staples - "Big Fish Theory" P.S. Please stop posting your AOTY lists before the year is over so much good shit comes out in December every year so stop taking the L. P.P.S. Maybe I'm the internet's busiest music nerd? P.P.P.S. "Blonde" will always be album of the year #actionbronson #amirobe #aviator #brockhampton #citizen #converge #codeorange #thecontortionist #counterparts #danielcaesar #end #fieldmedic #fitforanautopsy #theglorioussons #harrystyles #incendiary #johnmayer #kendricklamar #kevingarret #likemothstoflames #lorde #makethemsuffer #themenzingers #themidnight #mosessumney #theneighborhood #northlane #paramore #pheobebridges #rexorangecounty #sampha #seanleon #snohaalegra #sticktoyourguns #thyartismurder #tylerthecreator #verablue #vincestaples