#armin made eren realize he wasn't free

[clfixationstation]

Eren didn't care about anything until he met Armin, whatever that means

[xhoneywheatx]

Family

Warnings: None Category: Fluff Summary: How I'd imagine a surprise visit from you and your daughter to Levi would go.

"Oh my gosh!" Hange excitedly cheered your name upon seeing you in the mess hall with your adorable 8-month-old daughter sleeping soundly on your chest in her harness. With a hand securely on your child's back, you waved at her with your other hand after placing your soup spoon in it's bowl. 

Hange scurried across the room and gave you her best side hug so as to not disturb the tiny human on your chest. "It's so good to see you here! How've you been?" She bombarded you with questions causing you to giggle behind your hand. You knew why she was so excited. It was your first time being here in the HQ building. You usually opted to stay home and tend to your cute little house with your husband in the Canaleth district with your growing child. You had been a part of the Survey Corps around two years ago, when you first found out about your pregnancy, and took the necessary precaution to hang up your Wings of Freedom for the time being. 

You helped out as much as you could, administratively, but when the morning sickness started bedridding you, Levi, as nicely as possible, ordered you to stay home. Since then, you really haven't been around much, only being in around the town you live it to keep your pregnancy as stress free as possible. Your husband was not one to argue with you either. 

"I'm fine Hange. So is the little one too!" You looked down at your precious daughter and began to feel her moving around in her harness at the sound of her name. "Oh! She's waking up!" Hange exclaimed slightly lowering herself to look at your baby. She opened her big beautiful eyes and stared into Hange's. "Oh, you got so big KK!" Hange's smile caused your daughter to lightly giggle despite being woken up. 

"Does he know you're here?" Hange asked meticulously fixing your daughter's sock that was halfway off her tiny little foot. "He doesn't. Thought I'd bring the baby here to surprise him. He's been so stressed and upset from not seeing us lately." You spoke brushing your child's dark curls out of her face. 

"That explains why he's been more grumpy." You and Hange giggled at the little insult. While you two were off in your own world, the doors to the mess hall opened and in came the cadets. Chatter began to build up as they all lined up to get their plates to get the much needed grub after sparring in the heat for the last two hours. 

You were so caught up in your conversation with Hange and your baby occasionally babbling as if she were in the conversation that you didn't notice three new faces sitting carefully sitting in front of you with curious eyes. It wasn't until you noticed your baby, now sitting with her back on your tummy, out of her harness, wasn't paying attention to you anymore. You looked down to follow her gaze and was met with piercing green, dark, and blue eyes.

"Oh, hello." You spoke with a smile on your face. The boy with the blue eyes and blonde hair adverted his eyes from your face with a pink blush on his cheeks. 

Cute, you thought.

"Hey guys!" Hange greeted. 

"S-section Commander Hange.." The boy with the green eyes and brown hair stuttered his greeting. They barely noticed her beside you munching on her own food that's gone a bit cold from how long it's been there. "Eren, Mikasa, Armin." Hange addressed each of the kids before getting up to dispose of her plate, telling you she'd be back in a jiffy. 

"W-who are you? I-I've never seen you around here..." The blue eyed boy, you now knew as Armin, asked timidly. After studying their faces a bit more, you realized that they couldn't have been over 15 years old. Such a young age to join- the Survey Corps at that. The thought made your heart tighten a little. You slightly wondered what could have caused these kids to join at such a young age. 

However, your thoughts were cut short when... "Yeah! Are you a cadet like us?" The boy with the bright green eyes, now Eren, asked rather excitedly. 

"Eren." The girl, Mikasa, warned. 

So, she's the protective type, you gauged. 

With a smile on your face, you happily spoke up while letting your daughter nibble on her teething ring making the cutest noises in your arms. You felt a little drool on your hand that held her in place, but you ignored it. "I am- well, used to be, Squad Leader Adachihara-"

"Used to be? You were in the scouts?" Eren cut you off. 

"Eren," Mikasa started. "It's rude to cut people off." She chastised. The boy went on to defend himself, explaining to her that he's just curious when you chimed back in to diffuse the little disagreement. "It's okay," You held your hand up before continuing. "I got pregnant with my daughter about two years ago. Pregnant soldiers aren't allowed to be in the ranks as a soldier let alone a Squad Leader." You explained. 

Naturally, your eyes drifted to Mikasa and you saw a ghost of a blush color her face. 

At the mention of your child, the three of them looked down at her, who was lost in her own world wiggling and giggling in your arms, occasionally waving her teething ring around. You noticed Armin's gaze lingered on her for a bit longer than the others, almost as if he were studying her. A few compliments later and you five were engaging in a rather informative conversation for the cadets. You answered as many questions as you could so as to not scare them but prepare them for the world beyond the walls. Hange even threw in a 15-minute spiel about how fascinating titans were before leaving to grab a cup of coffee. 

"If you don't mind me asking miss," Armin started. You gave him your name which caused another bloom of pink to dust his cheeks after correcting himself. "... um, where are you from?" You knew the question would come up sooner or later. "Well, long story short, my family has always been here on Paradis. My clan just resides in the Canaleth district. We all have darker skin a curly hair like mine. If you've never been to the district, you'll probably live your entire life without knowing we exist." Your smile grew a bit wider once you read his question a bit deeper. "If you're asking why I look different from you three, I'm not sure, but that doesn't make me any different." You raised your eyebrows at him as he panicked telling you that's not at all what he meant. 

During his apology that honestly made you giggle, Hange returned and sat back down with a wide grin on her face. 

"Sorry it took so long. I just ran into your husband and Erwin." 

You looked down at your daughter who was already peering up at you. "You hear that baby, Daddy's here." You grinned. "Da!" She exclaimed before turning her little head around to search for him. Her excitement warmed your heart. She was definitely a daddy's girl. 

"You're married to someone here?" Eren asked, shocked at the new information presented to him. You nodded at him. "Did you know that Section Commander?" Armin asked after Eren. Hange nodded before reaching her hands out to your baby. She began grabbing the air at Hange and leaned over to her saying, "Mmmm! Mmmm!" telling you to let her go. You gave her up and watched as she immediately began playing in Hange's wild hair. 

"Who is it?" 

Hange looked over at you and winked, causing you to blush. "You'd never guess!" She exclaimed. Eren looked between Mikasa and Armin before looking back at you. "Is it the Commander?" Mikasa asked. He seemed to be a family man. It was the most logical answer to her. At the mention of his name, your nose turned up in disgust. 

"Uh-uh." You shook your head before taking a drink of water from your glass. "Erwin is like my brother." You spoke freely, choosing not to address him as the commander. You never did anyway so why start now?

"Is it the weird guy that smells everything?" Eren asked earning a glare from Mikasa at his careless words to describe a higher up. "Mike?" You made a face before shaking your head again. You looked towards Armin who had his gaze set on your daughter again. "Your daughter looks very familiar. She almost looks like Cap-"

"What are you three doing?" A familiar voice spoke from behind your left shoulder causing you to look over along with your daughter and Hange. Immediately, your daughter began bouncing up and down from excitement and grabbed at the air for him.

"Da! Da!" 

"Captain Levi is your husband?!" Eren exclaimed causing a bit of attention to land on your table. 

"And what of it Jeager? Got a problem?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at the young boy. "Da! Da!" Your daughter was now trying to lean over Hange's shoulder, who was laughing at their shocked expressions as Levi gently scooped him daughter up in his arms and settled her on his hip as she tried her best to wrap her tiny arms around his neck in a hug. 

You saw the faint curve of his lips upward at the gesture and planted a kiss on her forehead. 

"N-No sir!" Eren exclaimed, scrambling to his feet to give him a salute. 

"Get outta here brat. You've pestered my wife and child enough." 

You giggled at his brashness. It reminded you of how things were before you took maternity leave. Levi hasn't changed much since you left. Well, at work. At home, he was completely different. Clingy, soft, and most importantly, a little happier. 

Eren scurried off with Armin leaving Mikasa to fight back an eye roll at their skittishness. She gathered their forgotten plates and slightly bowed to the table before leaving your little group alone. 

"I'll go find them." Hange offered before taking her cup of half-finished coffee with her leaving you and Levi. 

"Da!"

And Kuchel. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked hearing his voice soften tremendously. No matter where you two were, sparring, in a meeting, or even slicing through 15 meter titans, Levi always seemed to talk to you in a softer tone, expressing his admiration for you this way. You noticed his eyes would soften upon speaking to his squad, Hange, and Erwin, but the look never reached his tone. 

It was his way of telling you that you were special to him. The only other person he did this for was Kuchel- who was stuffing Levi's cravat in her tiny little fist trying to put it in her mouth. The action made you laugh a little while trying to contain your blush from his undivided attention. His eyes haven't left you since he sat down, only when pulling something inedible from your daughter's stubby hands knowing she'd put it in her mouth. 

"You haven't been home lately," You attempted to hold his loving gaze noticing him taking in your appearance. His beautiful grey eyes scanned your pretty face noticing the little details such as you filling out your eyebrows some, a different lip gloss that had hints of glitter, and the fact that you actually used the mascara you purchased a few weeks ago. 

"...so I..." you lost your train of thought getting lost in his eyes. Your heartrate sped up slightly and your breathing became slightly irregular. You were sure the cherry blush on your face darkened to crimson the longer you held his gaze. Unable to withstand the pressure, you adverted your eyes and took a quick deep breath, telling yourself to calm down. 

How he still had this effect on you four years later was beyond you. 

"Cat got your tongue sweetheart?" He teased, lowering his voice to keep your conversation private considering the number of unwanted eyes on you two following Eren's outburst. 

"Levi." You whined, feeling your temperature spiking at the intimate name. He laughed, making it sound more like a scoff to go unnoticed by the cadets and an eavesdropping Hange. 

"Ma! Ma! Mmmm! Mmmm!" Kuchel began to whine and wriggle in Levi's arms making grabby hands at you, well... your boobs. She was hungry. Levi immediately noticed this and ushered his little family into his private quarters on the fourth floor and helped you get comfortable before going to find Erwin. After taking much longer than he wanted, he finally found the blonde tucked away in the library nose deep in a history book. From there, he told the commander of the surprise visit where Erwin smiled a genuine smile for the first time in a long time. Not having a family of his own yet, he was happy for Levi and granted him the rest of the day off to catch up on the much-needed family time. 

Levi graciously accepted and went back to his quarters to tell you the good news. Upon arriving back and opening the door, he realized just how long he had been gone. You were laying on you side with your breasts exposed so your daughter could eat comfortably, but upon further investigation, he realized that you two fell asleep like that. 

With a small smile on his face, Levi locked the door and pulled out a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom to change. Upon putting his uniform in the dirty clothes hamper, he exited the bathroom and placed a pillow on the other side of your daughter, on the edge of the bed, in case she got a little wild during her nap. He then carefully crawled on the bed behind you, pulling your shirt and sports bra down in the process. 

He gently pulled you into his chest, leaving a little space between you and Kuchel to give her some space, and buried his nose in your pineapple bun, enjoying the scent of coconut oil and your peppermint shampoo. Levi didn't nap with you two, but instead chose to enjoy the little intimate moment in the quiet. 

It was in this moment that Levi forgot what lied on the outside walls. All that went through his head in this moment was how lucky he was to have the God above bless him with the two most important women in his life. It made him all the more excited to give you more children, to live with you for the rest of his life. He was genuinely happy. 

[cosmicjoke]

Alright, another post on this, because the stupidity of this argument can't be tolerated. People that harp on about Levi saying he "chose this time and place for Erwin's death", and act as if it's the be all and end all of what went into Levi's decision making process drive me up a freakin' wall. There's no consideration given to why Levi felt that was the time and place for Erwin's death, no examination of the multiple factors that went into that decision, no consideration for the fact that Levi couldn't just easily explain on the spot why he chose as he did without revealing what Erwin had confessed to him and what it actually meant for all of them moving forward. How he couldn't easily explain Erwin's mental collapse or the implications of that with regard his ability to lead moving forward. Nope, it's just 'Well, Levi said he chose this time and place for Erwin to die, so clearly, that means there wasn't any reason for that decision other than not wanting Erwin to have to keep suffering. It was all just for Erwin's sake. How romantic!'.

It completely ignores the many panels and pages that led up to that moment, with Levi going back through his conversation with Kenny about dreams, triggered by the realization that Erwin was still shackled by his own, obsessive dream. It ignores his conversation with Erwin and his admission that he had no idea what would happen once he found out what was in Eren's basement, and his gratitude toward Levi for freeing him of the burden of his own inability to let his dream go. It ignores his recollection of Armin's conversation with Eren and Mikasa the night before, and everything all of that implied about Armin's belief in humanity and the narrative hope he represented. It's literally the most basic bitch take imaginable of a highly complex and nuanced scene that presents multiple layers of meaning. It's the most literal, idiotic reading possible of a scene within a story that relies heavily on symbolism and implication and subtext, and rarely states things in plain, literal terms. It also ignores what Levi confesses to himself later on, about how he did choose Armin because he saw "the same look in (his) eyes as (all of his fallen comrades), meaning he chose Armin because he saw the same purity in him that made all the members of the Survey Corps capable of believing humanity could be saved to begin with, before that hope was snuffed out of them through hardship. He saw in Armin a genuine belief in life being worthwhile, represented by the purity and simplicity of his own dream of seeing the ocean. Armin represents the notion that simply being alive is enough justification for life itself, and enough justification to fight for life. And if these people understood even a little bit about who Levi is, and how much he values life, they would also understand how important that quality would be to him, how much import he would place on such a quality being present in any leader. You can't save humanity if you don't value human life. So maybe Armin wasn't the "logical" choice in terms of who the most experienced or strategically sound leader might be. Maybe he wasn't the leader who gave them the greatest chance of "winning" (and what does winning even mean in this context? How can there be a victory for humanity without the presence of compassion and humaneness?). But Armin was the one who represented humanity's hope and believed in its ability to succeed and survive, and in its deservedness to survive. He believed in that more than Erwin did, and ultimately, that's what humanity really needed. In order for humanity not to destroy itself, it needs people like Armin who have genuine hope for it.

They also conveniently ignore how Levi tells Armin that he has a power that no one else has, a clear indicator that Levi sees Armin as uniquely suited toward the role of helping save humanity, and he also expresses to Armin that he trusts in and believes in him not to blow it or let any of them down. His consideration of Armin's unique qualities weighed just as heavily in Levi's decision, and those qualities are ultimately what convinced him it was okay to let Erwin die. What absolutely pisses me off beyond words is this implication that Levi would have let Erwin die if it had been anyone else on the other side of that choice, because what they're really saying is that Levi thought Erwin's life was worth more than anyone else's. It's an absurd mischaracterization of Levi, all in the service of supporting their ability to fantasize about Levi and Erwin being in love. Lets say it had been Connie, for example, and not Armin. Do people really think Levi would have chosen Connie over Erwin, when Connie has no, real qualities that would contribute to humanity's victory? Again, the only reason Levi felt okay in giving into his "personal feelings" (another line they love to zero in and obsess on at the expense of everything else) to spare Erwin more suffering is because he trusted in Armin to shoulder the burden of Erwin's absence moving forward. And I'm not saying Levi's desire to spare Erwin anymore suffering didn't play a major role in his choice (it obviously did). But I'm saying that the idea that Levi consciously "doomed humanity" for Erwin's sake is a gross misrepresentation of what actually happened, and of Levi himself and what he values, and ignores all the complexity and thematic exploration present in that scene.

Levi believed fully in Armin and he believed fully in him because of Armin himself and the qualities he possessed as a person. Even if you want to say that Levi's choice was predominantly made with the intention of sparing Erwin more suffering, he only ever felt he could make that choice because he fully trusted in and believed in Armin's ability to guide humanity toward victory. So no, he didn't "doom humanity" for Erwin's sake. He made a humane and compassionate choice out a desire to spare another human being from more suffering, and that choice and his confidence in that choice was based on his belief in another human being and his ability to become the leader that humanity needed. Thus why I say Armin was as much a factor in Levi's choice as Erwin was.

[iwriteloveletters]

Yandere Eren Yeager Head canons

Season 1-3

At first it was a simple childish crush on you, being that you two were about 7-8 years old when you first met. You two were partnered for a school assignment and ever since then you were now apart of the trio that consisted of his two other friends Mikasa and Armin.

Eren was of course in denial of these feelings given that he was young and was in his girls are gross era but his mom would always tease him about it and constantly ask about you, always having you over and even having sleep overs.

Like Mikasa you grew to be somewhat protective over him, he was always getting hurt and you (who wanted to be a doctor) always had bandages and whatever else Grisha gave you for small cuts on hand. That only made his feelings grow stronger. It was innocent in the beginning.

After the walls were breached and witnessing his mothers death was when he truly became infatuated with you, he never let you out of his sight. He was alone now which meant he had a lot more responsibilities, you and enlisting in the military were those responsibilities. He would give you portions of his food even though Mikasa and you advised against it, held your hand at all times, and never EVER took his eyes off of you. You knew it too, but you brushed it off because you had bigger things to worry about; you lost your family yourself. You were 10 years old and alone in the world, all hopes for becoming a doctor who studied under Grisha Yeager down the drain. You weren’t worried about Eren at the moment.

When you realized your friends were planning to join the military it sparked inspiration in you (you were impressionable at that age) and God Eren did not like that. But you were a stubborn person therefore what’s done was done, you were joining them and later on the Survey Corps.

The entire time while training he made sure to keep you under his radar, he would go as far as to make sure you weren't around anyone other than the people he trusted because "people can be just as dangerous as titans." You let him have this one moment because you understood he might've had complex issues stemming from his mothers death and fathers disappearance. Similar to Mikasa and her attachment to Eren you thought to yourself. It was not even close to it.

You weren't as gifted compared to the others but you still managed to graduate, you made it and you made it into the Survey Corps, he had practically commanded you to join the Military Police. But you knew what you wanted and you weren't gonna let him stop you.

Over the next few years his infatuation with you only grew stronger and stronger. Things quickly took a turn for a worse.

Season 4

His need to isolate you overpowers his need to anything. The outside world wasn't what was hoped and his ability to see the future didn't put him at ease.

Before he ran away for Marely he pulled Mikasa to the side to tell her to keep you away from everyone, especially their Marleyan allies. He trusted none of them even if they put their trust within him. The same way he didn't trust people on his own island

During his time with you on Paradis it almost felt suffocating so it felt nice to be free from him, Mikasa never respected his wishes to keep you away from the world so you truly got that break. You lived for the first time in years, thinking of your dear friend Eren here and there; almost missing him and the way he always held your hand and praised you for the little things you did.

When you all come back for him in Marely your newfound peace is stripped from you completely. His focus only being on you, protecting his own life, and inheriting the war hammer titan.

He would eventually send Yeagarist after you in an attempt to lock you up similar to how he locked up his friends. But instead of being around the ones you both cared for, it was just you in a lonely and cold cell.

"You're useless." He would talk down on you, "You're useless and you know that, you barely make it out of missions alive. You need me." He would convince you. And you listened to him.

[stanurines1mp]

Free

FREE /friː/ -able to act or be done as one wishes; not under the control of another.- Freya Ludwig's past of solitude soon changes as she meets the main squad of the Scout Regiment. But is she just another slave of loneliness or will she find the one to set her free? From Attack On Titan / Shingeki No Kyojin, An Eren Jaeger x Fem!OC Story.

𝔱𝔴𝔬

𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 ← ᴘʀᴇᴠ ɴᴇxᴛ → 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

Eren had his ears open as he listened to the conversation his friends were leading. He himself wasn't much involved but it was nice to see his friends with smiles on their faces. 

As they were talking, the Commander and Captain approached the group. A girl stood behind them, her eyes lurking the corners with curiosity. 

Hange stepped aside to present the girl. With further explanation, Hange then began the introductions. 

"My name's Freya Ludwig," she said, a small smile lacing her lips as sweetness laced her tone. 

Eren's eyes were slightly scrunched. He wasn't sure if it was curiosity or confusion. All he knew was that his heart had a change of emotion. A sense of familiarity at the girl's sight. 

The way her auburn bangs perfectly framed her facial structure was almost nostalgic. And the obvious gold of her eyes was almost comforting. 

But he didn't know her. He didn't know who she was.

"Have we, met before?" Eren asked, almost surprising both himself and the girl. 

Eren watched as her eyes widened almost slightly. Maybe it went unnoticed by others but he saw it well. 

He could read the possible thoughts running through her mind. She must have thought he was crazy for asking such a question. But her denial was delivered so gently. 

"Right," he uttered. 

He could feel the disappointment within himself. 

But it was mostly directed at himself rather than the girl. He wondered if he had accidentally creeped her out with the question. He hoped not. 

Because he wanted to know more about her. Because he knew he's seen her before. He just couldn't remember where or how. 

He was wrecking his brain, seeking every crevice of his interior in search of her. 

He knew he'd seen her before. He knew but he just couldn't quite place it. 

Soon, the girl joined their conversation, spending the aging night with them. Eren prayed that she hadn't noticed his behavior. 

At first, it was an unconscious act on his behalf. But even after he realized that he was staring at her, he couldn't help it. 

It was hard for him to let go of her figure. He wished he could ask her something but he didn't know what to ask. He wanted to hear her voice as she talked to him to see if that would help him remember. 

But what could he say? 

"Go sleep, it's late," Captain Levi scolded the group, causing them to break apart. 

Eren and Armin walked side by side as they headed to their respective tents. Eren was quiet the entire way, his mind still hung up on the image of the familiar girl. 

He said goodbye to his best friend with a small smile and a wave. He then proceeded to enter his tent, changing out his clothes to something more comfortable. 

With hopes of getting some rest, he lay on his bed, his eyes fixed on the tent's color above him. Eren felt his heavy lids threatening to close. He allowed them to move as they pleased, hoping the slumber would stop what his mind tirelessly seeks. 

He could feel his vision darkening but again, his mind betrayed him. He had no idea how long he lay in bed, eyes wide open. Needing a distraction, Eren decided to take a stroll. 

Maybe it could assist him in clearing his mind. 

Before he left his tent, he made sure to take a jacket with him. Not that he needed it but something inside him warned him to bring it anyhow. 

He pushed past the tent's entrance, the cold wind bristling against the hair on his skin. He let out a sigh, noticing the small vapor that escaped. Eren mindlessly walked forward, following the path parallel to the sea. 

The grass on the lawn danced steadily, letting the wind control its beat. Too lost in his thoughts, Eren felt her touch before he saw her due to the collision. 

With a warm touch against the wintry air, Eren's memories returned. His breathing became unsteady, his body almost giving up. He would've fallen to the ground had it not been for her. 

And now he knows her. 

Where he's seen her. 

He knows now. 

"Are you okay?" Her golden eyes burned into his, worry clouding them. 

Her voice pulled him back to reality, saving him from the utter madness in his mind. He tried to stabilize himself, calming himself with deep breaths as she held onto his forearm. 

"Yeah," he nodded, his affirmation escaping alongside his breaths. "I'm really sorry," he apologized, his eyes softening to look at the girl. 

"It's fine," she smiled softly. "I didn't know the Founding Titan is clumsy," she let out a small chuckle, trying to relieve the tension in the air. 

Even in that momentary eclipse of her laugh, Eren couldn't help but stare at her further. "What are you doing out?" He questioned, his tone gentle.

"Couldn't sleep," she shrugged, letting go of his arm. "What about you?" 

"Same, actually."

"Oh," she uttered, her eyes blinking against the shuddering breeze. "Do you wanna walk with me?" She worded her question carefully, he could tell. She didn't want to offend him, he could tell. 

To that, he only softly smiled. "Let's sit down," he invited, earning a shocked nod from the girl. 

He led her further, a short distance away from the campsite. He finally stopped by the entrance of the abandoned lighthouse. 

It was a treasure he found by himself, unbeknownst to any other. And it was a treasure he found himself yearning to show her. 

They climbed up the stairs, Freya's eyes scouring the tall building, awaiting the moment she reaches the landing. Eren held out a hand which she took happily. 

He guided her to the view, the darkened ocean glimmering from the moonlight. He brought out two chairs, one for each of them. 

"So, why can't you sleep?" The girl initiated their conversation. 

"A lot of things on my mind," he answered casually, trying not to come off as a creep with the heavy need he has to look at her. "You?" 

"It's hard to adjust to something comfortable," she laughed. 

Eren noticed the slight shiver the girl let out, vapor escaping her lips with every word she said. But of course, he'd notice it. 

He was staring after all... 

And he only then realizes her provided sleepwear. She was wearing a short-sleeved shirt with a pair of pants. The material of her clothes was thin, he could tell. 

Almost an inclination, Eren wrapped his jacket around her. He knew his action shocked her. Truth be told, it shocked him too. 

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked, her gaze lowered to her feet. Before he could say anything, she added, "Do you know why I was sent here in the first place?" She looked up at him, and he swore he could get lost in her. "I was supposed to kill you," she breathed out. 

"Then why didn't you?" 

"We both know the answer to that," she smiled. 

Her gaze returned back to the sea. Her eyes were lighted up with a sense of serenity. 

Almost all the despair in life seemed to have been lost from her mind. Her golden pupils illuminated under the moon's shine. 

A sight to behold as Eren devoured the view of her figure.

"Ah, it's so beautiful, isn't it?" She exclaimed happily, taking in the sky and the sea's opposing darkness. 

It was a simple question to which he knew the answer. 

Their lives were written the moment they were born. 

And he was meant to love her. 

In the short time that he was left with, he was meant to love her. 

So with his eyes addicted to her entire being, he answered the question with his voice of earnestness and genuine. 

"Very." 

[cubicle-thoughts]

I binged all of the Attack on Titan anime in 7 days (May 18-24, 2024). I'm left feeling philosophical and existencial. The fans who went through 10 years of emotional attachment while I just breezed through them in a week, makes me feel like I missed out....

I missed out on not just being a part of the community during it's peak, but I feel like binging them left me little room to process my emotions of the series as I jumped from one plot to the next. I gobbled up the episodes like a mindless Titan and only halted when I was working. Only in Hange's death did I feel like taking a genuine break from watching.

While processing the emotions, I realized "huh, I must've really loved her character". I barely shed a tear but I made a sad face which was more than the reaction I had for Erwin's death. Speaking of his death, I didn't "feel" it when he was dead dead, I felt it when Levi made the decision to make it permanent. So I was more sad for Levi upon Erwin's death.

I had to rewatch her death scene via a clip on Youtube because I wanted to "feel" it again. It still hurts especially her afterlife scene. Erwin always being at the front of her and Levi's imagination when looking back to their fallen comrades, never fails to add more emotions. To cheer myself up I rewatched the video of a Hange cosplayer dancing to "talk dirty to me" hahaha iykyk. I won't watch her death scene ever again. I can't.

It's funny because that was the first ever scene I decided to watch a few years ago. It was a clip recommended on youtube. I never watched clips of the anime when it on-going. I put off watching the anime until it was completed because I thought to myself "I can't possibly suffer the waiting period in between seasons if the show was good". I don't know why I decided to break my rule just for this one clip. And looking back, I don't think I even understood why it was called her death scene because she looked so peaceful (note: it was out of context for me and I didn't know Erwin was dead). And it's funny because the me from the past didn't know it would affect me in a big way today.

-----

I never spoiled myself of plot points. I didn't know the ending but was very hopeful that it would be a happy one. Every character death left me thinking "it's okay, the ending's gonna be happy". Like a mantra to keep me optimistic. I read somewhere that Eren could travel back in time (but I didn't read further on how he could) so I was hoping that during the last few episodes, any time now, Eren will find the "happy ending" and go back in time to prevent the war. I much preferred he had altered the timeline where most of his friends never met if it meant that all of them led happy lives because I know Armin and Mikasa would still be with him. If not him, I was also hoping Ymir would instead. Changing her fate by letting the King die and maybe, the outcome would be happier (we'll never know).

But the thing is Eren did find the happy ending...for everyone else that is. I just wanted one where he got it too. Not an ending where Mikasa has 10 years of emotional baggage. God damn it.

A lot of comments/critiques say Eren's choices were done with free will but I'm left thinking that it doesn't seem that way. He chained himself to the only outcome where everyone is free from the titan curse. Feels like he was forced down this path...I guess because he wasn't selfish.

Arghh it would've been easier for me to process if his reason was simply "I want to do this for everyone's sake". At first, I thought his reason was because "protect Eldia, massacre everyone else" then it was "the outside world isn't filled with only flowers so I'll till the land myself and make it so". I think I'll revisit the ending in the future and maybe I'll finally come to my own conclusion.

-----

I binged the show on Netflix and I later found out that they altered the ending. For one, they played Call of Silence during the scene where Mikasa sat beside Eren's grave. After that it cuts to The End card. This ending felt a lot more sentimental both to the character and to the fans. However there was a post credits scene Netflix didn't include (in my region's version as far as I know) where the ending was...a lot more hopeless. Depicting a future where the cycle of war in Eldia never ends and Eren's efforts may not have changed anything. Because his grave is the next mysterious tree that may be holding the parasite that gives the Power of the Titans.

Anyway, I'm wondering if Mikasa married years down the line. The man she was with looks like Jean to me because it can't be Armin. Personally I hope she stayed single because she defied Eren's words asking her to move on just like how she never discarded the red scarf. It's still possible she married though because I caught a glimpse of a ring on her hand in-between the flowers. But married or not, both paths are bittersweet because she clearly never got over Eren and was even buried(?) on the same tree.

-----

Arghhh what a rollercoaster. I'm going to let these feelings simmer for awhile and won't be watching another anime for the next 7 days at least. I find myself watching analysis videos of the ending and random clips. Probably might read some fanfics too because I really want some ErenxMikasa romance, lord knows we only got crumbs in canon.

The show finished airing in November 2023 but it felt like it had been 2 years. I wonder what Isayama is going to do next.

I started watching the series on a whim and ended with eMOtional damage.

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Season 3 A predictably long commentary and an unnecessarily long pre-analysis of s4.

(*full manga spoilers. so many spoilers. ending spoilers. all the spoilers.)

-hmmm the op is on point and also very melancholy

-he iS SO EXTRA, eren is, even when his duty is cleaning he's all RAWR CLEANING ARGH KYAAA

-i love how aot is sometimes "we interrupt your regular slaughter and depression for a levi-loves-cleaning infomercial"

-i understand it's a 2019 production and therefore by default improved, but everything looks so much richer and detailed and i just HOW DO I SOAK IT ALL IN

-what i'm getting from the levi vs kenny sequences is that someone on the animation team really REALLY loves levi. as they should ofc

-i love the moment in the op when child eren bumps into teen eren, i love it. and i love all the eren-mikasa-armin moments.

-i suppose it'll never not hurt seeing eren in chains

-completely unrelated, but i want everyone to remember that paradis went from thinking they were the last of humanity to having to deal with an entire world of nations that are 100% set on exterminating them. and they have four years to adjust to this shocking change of mindset, and to history and politics that's been known to everyone else for hundreds of years, and deal with it accordingly. they are not equipped for this. they don't have the knowledge, experience or background to know how to handle this.

-in the manga i started squabbling with eren at this point, during his 'i should just die' arc, but the VA is so good that i just can't get irritated

-the worst girl in the world <3

-also the way the VA acts eren's "EAT ME!" breakdown in the cave reminds me so so much of ch.139 eren that it makes me smile. like, ah yes. i see it. i understand. my crybaby baby.

-HAHAHA, Historia "Sure, I'll be the queen," haaaa. took a step back from having levi terrorize her, did you now.

-keith shadis to eren: "the fire you lit in your heart will no doubt burn you to ashes outside the walls." what a fine day to cry over aot again.

-YOU CAN SEE SPECKS OF DUST FLOATING IN THE SUNLIGHT IN THE BACKGROUND WHAT! WHAT!!

-i enjoy eren and jean's bickering so much omg.

-i think i'll always have a soft spot for the night before shiganshina chapter bc of the manga. it was such a relief to read it at that point.

-MIKASA AND ARMIN SMILING IN THE BACKGROUND AS EREN AND JEAN BEAT EACH OTHER UP STOP I LOVE THEM

-eren to armin and mikasa: "but would it kill you guys to look out for me better?" i love that. i love that he just says that, that their bond is so deep that looking out for each other is their baseline.

-technically eren did see the world with armin... technically :')

-susume :') :'( . dude, the s3 animation is so well-made though

-ARMIN AND HIS BOOK MADE EREN REALIZE HE WASN'T FREE, ARMIN IS EREN'S VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY PART 2! (/joke)

-it's kinda amazing how mikasa and armin are both the people who know eren the best, AND how they are completely blindsided because of it. which makes sense - yes, they didn't question eren's depression, but they also didn't have eren's facts; they assumed he was in a state similar to theirs. they did live together day in day out after all, why would they assume eren was experiencing something entirely different than what they were, especially when he's never hidden things from them before?

-IT'S SO DAMN SATISFYING SEEING THEM FLY!

-ERWIN KILLS IT IN SHIGANSHINA ASFJDF

-i'm pumping my fist again with this op

-i randomly heard hiroshi kamiya's actual voice, and my genuine reaction was "???". how... how does he do levi's voice, h...

-i am once again flabbergasted that armin didn't put eren in his place through facts and logic on their time-skip fight. armin is literally like STOP THE PRESSES, WE'RE NEGOTIATING WITH BERTOLT FIRST in shiganshina, this isn't a post-colossus thing, it's just armin, and eren knows this full well. and yet once again it comes down to how blindsided armin and mikasa were. it’s almost like they trust eren so much that his words give them actual pause, like “is he right?”

-i know technically mikasa is beyblade number too, but i think the parallel is armin=erwin and jean=levi rn. bc jean tells armin, "i'm all right at reading situations, but i don't have the faintest idea how we can get out of this. we're still ultimately relying on you for a plan" and i think that's a very levi thing. only, levi would add piss and shit remarks for good measure.

-i can see why people call the shiganshina part of the anime peak and i haven't even reached the injection part yet.

-"GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM AND DIE"

-daisuke ono kills it this season. he's magnificent.

-floch: "why am i alive?" me: to torture us post-time skip.

-dude this is so good, the animation and the VAs are killing it. also armin just sacrificed everything for eren, and legit post-time skip eren said 'hold my beer. you'll sacrifice your life for me? i'll give my life AND everyone else's too to save you, specifically (and a few other people)."

-aaah, eren knew armin first, then got to know mikasa, he's wearing The Scarf(TM), okay.

-levi's distress hits hard. dude THE VAs ARE KILLING IT.

-floch's right on the money though. the thing that defeats the titans *is* a demon of sorts, and he did survive to help do just that

-i love being reminded of eren's breakdowns and his expression during the breakdowns and i love how yuki kaji acts them out, they are exactly ch.139 eren (and this means a lot to me)

-double date in the basement~~~ (i'm sorry, idk what i'm saying, i'm sorry)

-yeah, basically, it’s all about the fact that nothing can stop violence. king fritz tried to stop violence through enforced/fake peace - didn’t work. talking it out wouldn’t work, deterrents wouldn’t work. eren tried to stop violence through violence - didn’t work (he secured his own goals for a time, but violence didn’t stop).

-why is aot so good? :')

-eren is such a good friend to armin, ffs (yes, yes, s4. i don't believe his friendship or the depth of it changed at all though, i don’t think anyone questions that.)

-eren is lifting armin up by telling him how there are infinite possibilities and freedom outside the walls, only to flashback to faye and such and realize there's no freedom to give to armin or to anyone outside the walls, there's only the world that wants their demise. armin is eren's villain origin story part 3. this has become a pattern, and third time's the charm.

-is it too bad that whenever i see birds i think of them as little erens

-yuki kaji. in the ocean scene. Perfection.

~~~

-Okay, so, to contextualize. Eren’s goals: 1) to exterminate all the Titans, 2) to be free, 3) a long life and happiness for his friends, even at the cost of his life. So at this point, in the sea sequence, Eren has seen glimpses of future events and knows that he will do the Rumbling. He does not know the concept of Mikasa’s Choice yet, just a few events out of context that will lead to the end of the Titans, which will lead to freedom. He hasn’t decided to do it, doesn’t know how he’s led to do it. He keeps this a secret. He tries to find alternatives, and low-key wants an out by letting Mikasa choose for him when he asks her what she is to him. But in the end there’s no alternative. It’s unclear when he realizes that he’ll be stopped on his 80%, but either way he means to or expects to be stopped at some point, because he wants to make his friends heroes from the get-go. He would go through with the 100% if left to his own devices because he wants to do it on a personal level, but he also knows it’s wrong and feels regret for the individual people that he considered enemies but now has gotten to know as people, despite the fact that it’ll give him what he wants (seen even post-Marley, when he tells his depressed self in the mirror to fight, seen in his reaction to Hange which I never saw as anything but despair- although screw you, Eren, don’t treat them like that); and the fact that he wants to make his friends heroes takes precedence.

From hereon, he presumably continues to receive memories, and his head gets progressively messed up because he’s lived parts of the past and future while living in the present.

Noteworthy is that Eren did not push away his friends pre-Marley. Before that, he was with them, albeit depressed, subdued and withdrawn; he lived and worked and traveled with them and made sure to make explicit how much he cares for them. His sudden leave must have blindsided them, but they still think that Eren is fully aligned with them. The major shift occurs after he comes back from Marley, where the world has specifically singled out him, Eren Yeager, as the biggest threat to humanity - not Paradis, Eren himself. Thus, Eren must become a completely separate entity from his ~precious friends, 1) to prevent them from becoming accomplices, prevent them from being dragged into his messes like they’ve done his whole life, bc they're supposed to be the heroes in all this, 2) to prevent them from stopping him too soon, 3) to convince them to fight him.

Another interesting thing is, Eren only fights with Armin and Mikasa once. When reading, I constantly perceived his stance as a personal offense on behalf of Armin and Mikasa, but technically, their personal fight only occurs once - after that, they’re just on opposing sides, it’s not personal. Considering he didn’t want to fight them and that he was very aware he was lying through his teeth, he purposely didn’t engage with them any more than he could bear, because I assume it wasn’t easy to fight them. But we’ll see how that plays out in s4, ‘cause my manga panels memories are hazy bc those arcs destroyed me.

So. In order for Eren to somewhat keep his sanity amidst overlapping timelines, a massacre that he dearly wants and deeply regrets, pushing away his closest people, wanting to make them heroes but not knowing if they’ll survive in the first place, becoming a mass murderer and the villain of the entire world, he regresses into a child form, where things are simpler. 

And the reason I’m basically summarizing s4 here is to remind myself what to actually look out for before I get wrapped up in the tragedy of it all all over again :’D

[luvbugkenma]

stoners (1) + aot

CHARACTERS: Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman

A/N: MINORS UNDER 15 YRS OLD + EMPTY / AGELESS / BLANK BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT! I WILL BLOCK YOU! ALL CHARACTERS AGED UP TO 20+ YRS OLD WARNINGS: drug use (marijuana). swearing. WORD COUNT: 0.7k

eren

big time stoner for sure

in high school he was the loser burnout

showed up to class high as fuck but nobody had the balls to call him out

smoked up after school and was basically high all the time

didn't have a job, eventually got into selling but stopped after a year or so

definitely still smokes everyday, but the amt depends on how he's doing that day

most days he’ll smoke on his break at work or on his break in between classes

goes to class a lil high from time to time (he took a philosophy class his first yr and would leave after attendance to hit his dab pen in the bathroom before going back to class high asf)

enjoys a good wake n bake too especially if he wakes up early (happens often if he's having sleeping issues)

loves exercising after smoking–usually goes for a run and listens to music

^this is usually only when he's stressed

when he's having a good day he’ll order some good takeout and throw on some anime for the night

prefers smoking joints bc he loves the way they hit

has a bong that's also a water bottle but he brings it with him everywhere (these are real and also cool asf)

in his actual collection though, he has a shelf of bongs by his bedroom closet and then a few of his gnarlier ones hidden away

only has 1 or 2 pipes though, he's never been a big fan of them

takes a lot of selfies when he’s high - his eyelids get SO droopy and his eyes get red really fast too lol

he doesn't usually watch tik toks that often, but he gets sucked down the rabbit hole on the saturday nights he’s at home and not at a party

in his early 20s he was big into parties, would go to parties 3-4 nights a week

during this time he greened out at a lot of random house parties or underground shows

once he got to his mid-20s he was going out less often but also knew his limits and not to push them too hard

mikasa

was actually kinda scared to try smoking for the first time

she’d go to parties with armin and eren but would have maybe one? drink the whole night, obv didn’t smoke

she knew she wasn't going to smoke in high school buuut college was a different story

after some convincing from armin and eren, she eventually smoked with them (and had so much fun omg)

she realized that she actually enjoyed how weed made her feel–the best sleep she’s gotten has only been when she’s smoked before going to bed

if she's having a stressful day or week, she'll get high as soon as she gets home no matter what

she makes herself some tea, grabs some snacks, and throws on a TV show to relax

when she first started smoking she couldn't bring herself to be productive to save her life–she was always slumped in someone’s bed or on the couch, blanket wrapped over her shoulders and eyes barely open as she stared off blankly

now that she can handle weed better and bc she occasionally works from home, she’ll smoke a little before her break ends and then get a lot done before her shift ends 

will smoke at parties but she keeps herself from getting high as fuck, just enough to make her slump

gets the munchies so bad!!! loves to eat sweets or cheese💀💀

one of her favorite ways to treat herself is to cook some really nice dinner, go smoke (she’ll get pretty high) and then eat while watching a good movie (she really enjoys studio ghibli, particularly kiki’s delivery service)

on free days or weekends, she’ll go to dance practice high

sometimes she’ll take an edible, do some chores and then do some yoga waiting for it to kick in

during summer and autumn she’ll go for walks to smoke and take nice pictures. sometimes she does her own photoshoots in cute outfits :)

lies to herself ab how she’s “saving her lungs” by only smoking from her bong one week and only taking edibles the week after

not a fan of joints, they burn her throat a lot and she coughs really easily as is

© luvbugkenma 2023

[underthetree845]

Throughout the entirety of snk, Armin has been a key figure and essential plot point.

I'm not saying that other characters had any less effect, but they would have not made it nearly as far without him.

! Spoilers ahead !

(Read if you want, or don’t. It’s just a catalog of Armin’s most consequential contributions to the story of snk).

-

Armin's mind is brilliantly analytical. He excels at figuring things out and drawing conclusions by simply observing situations in a way that no one else can. 

He thought to send Hannes to save Eren and Mikasa when they were kids during the fall of Wall Maria. 

He came up with the plan to use Eren's titan to make it to the supply tower safely during the struggle for Trost before anyone even knew that it was Eren inside. 

Following that, Armin devised the plan that allowed them to kill the seven titans inside and get to the supplies that they needed to win the battle. 

He convinced the Garrison and Commander Dot Pixis to place their faith in Eren after he transformed into a titan for the first time. 

It was his idea to have Eren in his titan form lift the boulder and use it to plug the hole in Wall Rose. 

He is the only one who realized who the female titan was, and organized the plan to stop her in Trost. 

It was his idea to sneak past the titans by traveling at night. 

He pushed past his ideals and shot the Military Police woman to save Jean’s life. 

He realized the weakness of the Military Police and their anti-personnel gear, giving the squad the advantage they needed to see victory. 

Armin deduced who the Armored and Colossal titans were and got the rest of the Survey Corps in on it.

He's the only one who noticed the burnt out campfire and warm cups when the survey corps went to retake Wall Maria, alerting them that enemies were hiding nearby. 

On top of that, he realized their hiding spot and had people start checking inside the walls, eventually discovering then. 

In possibly one of his most consequential moments, Armin came up with a plan to and successfully defeated the Colossal titan. 

He came up with the entire Marley invasion plan. 

He saw through Eren's mask and realized that he wasn't really free. 

He was able to manipulate Yelena into letting he and his comrades out of the jail cell. 

Armin realized the flaw in what they saw as Eren’s path of reasoning because Eren left them all with the Titan shifter powers. This made Armin able to deduce Eren’s true motivations clearly. 

Nothing could have happened without him. Obviously, he is not the only essential character, but I truly believe that the effect he has had is huge, even if he doesn't realize it. 

everyone please please watch this

[scare-you]

As the anime is slowly heading towards the end, I noticed that many in the fandom seem to not understand the Alliance's motive, siding with Floch and the yeagerists, not seeing their flawed ways and horrible political tactics.

First things first, Floch didn't understand anything. He was a fascist, ready to do the same thing to the volunteers and opposing Eldians (!) that Marley did. He had 0 understanding of the value of life. He was also a hypocrite. "Eldia will finally be free!" Eldia will be the only country left. Even before they knew humanity outside the walls existed, they were killing each other: the entire first part of season 3 is about Kenny and his squad, Kenny's history as a murderer then as an assassin, the Survey Corps being hunted down for not wanting to keep people in the dark and wanting justice. They wanted to hang Erwin because he was a threat to their regime. They already killed Priest Nick, Erwin's father, Armin's parents. They were ready to jeopardize the lives of more than half the remaining population. They were hunting down Ackermans and Asians for not being controllable. Floch was already killing volunteers (nearly executing Onyankopon who NEVER had an ulterior motive to hurt them, like Yelena, yet Floch was nearly in tears of joy talking about how his home country will be destroyed), Floch was ready to kill the Azumanitos who were alligning themselves with Eldians, and Floch, who wanted the "peace" and "freedom" of Eldians, was okay with the majority of Eldians, who were living outside the walls, being massacred. For a 100 years Paradis was in peace. There was no massive discrimination, everything was fine in the sense of a common person's fine (food on the table, no war) until Marley attacked. Eldians outside the walls have been abused and enslaved. They knew more about hatred and discrimination than Floch, yet they were also thrown under the bus.

No side, for 2000 years, ever considered diplomacy. They hated each other, wanted each other dead, enslaved each other, etc. And the one time a small group realizes the importance of life and the fault in Eren's plan (which wasn't even his real plan), they are clowns? Diplomacy works, genocide won't solve anything. Eldians would have continued to kill each other, Pyxis said it, Erwin said it, Levi said it, Yelena said it, and that is the entire point of the show. Mr. Braun already explained it very clearly. The alliance became diplomats and peace ambassadors. And funny how the only country who was a threat to them was Paradis.

The extra panels show that conflict never ends. Looking at the skyscrapers, more than 100, maybe even hundreds of years have passed, and an unrelated conflict broke out. Paradis could have avoided it of they didn't consider themselves untouchable after the rumbling, they had centuries to prepare, after all. They could have also made some diplomatic relations, they could have tried. But they never did, and that is on them. No one saw the truth, except the Alliance.

[rouge-variant]

Hi. How would Levi deal with his cadet, whom he likes very much (romantically, she doesn't know that), isolates herself into her room and starts skipping meals because of bullying because she's from the Underground? Also she's become more aggressive during training because she's paranoid they're going to hurt her. Thanks! Have a nice day/night!

Okay! Hopefully this is just a plot idea and you're not actually dealing with bullies! I did the relationship status being that Levi liked Y/n but he hasn't confessed yet so please let me know if changes need to be made!! So sorry for the wait, let's get into now. Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!!!!

Levi Ackerman x Y/n: Diamond in the Rough

Trigger Warning: this has mentions of bullying and Y/n viewing everyone as a threat. It doesn't go too much into it and only has the smallest detail but please keep this in mind while you read.

You thought this is over. Once you escaped the Underground, you thought that for once you could breath easier. Of course life wasn't going to be perfect but you never expected it to be this bad.

You were treated like trash. You were able to handle yourself physically but when they hurt you with their words, it tore you down faster than any weapon could. You refused to cry in front of those who bullied you, not wanting them to see that it got to you. So instead, you turned the tears and pain into power. You started training more aggressively, whether it be every single moment of your free time or even with the other Scouts aside from those in Levi Squad.

They were the only ones who treated you like a person, maybe like an older sister. They care a lot about you. Even the grumpy captain you were assigned under seemed fond of you. Despite that, they were never there when the bullies appear and start cutting you down with their words. Part of you were glad because then they wouldn't start treating you the same way. But part of you also wished that they would be there to witness it. Maybe they would be able to stop this. But you were raised to never wait for someone to come and rescue you. So you let that small sliver of hope fade away while you focused on training.

This continued over a span of a week before you started adding something new. You started fearing that the bullies would follow through with their threat of attacking you while your gaurd was lowered. The only time that was, was when you were eating with your sqaud. Mikasa and Captain Levi created this safer atmosphere when you were with them and you subconsciously lowered your gaurd. You laughed at Jean's and Eren's antics, added your thoughts onto Armin's discoveries and joined in with Connie and Sasha on their attempts to make Captain smile. You really didn't want to leave your bubble of happiness but your mind was overflowing with paranoia. You're heart was screaming to stay with them, but your instincts and mind screamed to leave. So you did just that. You ignored your heart and became emotionally numb, like you did for the duration of every day. But this time, you didn't have your break at dinner.

Levi noticed this the first night you didn't show up. He missed your bubbly energy and the room seemed darker as well. He dismissed it as being exhausted. He saw how hard you worked at training earlier as well as staying behind for a little extra afterwards. This was the second time he's noticed it, not realizing it was a daily occurance.

By day three, he was done ignoring the obvious problem of you not being present at dinner. He knows you've attended breakfast since you eat shortly after he does before disappearing until training. Lunch, Sasha's reported you being there as you two were lunch buddies by chance, just always eating at the same time as the other. You once again didn't show up to dinner and Levi saved your tray from Sasha. He brought yours and his with him as he went to your room. He wasn't going to yell at you for this since he knew whatever was bugging you was sensitive enough to affect your appetite. So instead he knocked as gently as he could with his foot since his hands were full.

"It's Captain Levi. Y/n, can we talk?" Levi asked as his knock went unanswered. He heard your quiet breath being released then some shuffling as you opened the door.

"Oh, here let me help" you took the trays and set them on your desk. Your voice held the energy he missed but your body language was very gaurded. Something he easily recognized as he had similar habits from his Underground days.

"What brings you here sir?" You asked, not moving from the table.

"What has been going on. You've been skipping meals and you seem scared to even be talking with me despite being in your room" Levi's face softened. Your eyes widened in shock as he read the situation like an open book. You thought you did a good job at hiding the problem but clearly you were wrong. To anyone else except maybe the rest of the squad, they wouldn't pick up on your scared posture and missed meals. At least not this quick. This cause more panic within you and Levi raised a hand slightly to get your attention.

"Easy. No one else has noticed me slip away except for The Commander and Hange. Do you trust me enough to let me try and help you?" He asked and patiently waited for your answer. He wouldn't admit this to anyone but he cared for you the most out of anyone in his squad. No, he loves you. That's why he was so worried about you. That's why he picked up on it. He's wanted to confess to you but he knows that now isnt the time. There was your well being came first. Always have and always will.

"I-I do...but...I'm scared" you admitted and Levi nodded.

"Take your time. It's only the two of us. Just know that whatever you say, stays between the two of us. Nothing that Eyebrows or Four-Eyes can do to get me to spill your secrets" he slipped in the nicknames of his two friends to hopefully settle your mind a little more. He knew it worked when he saw the small little smile form on your lips.

"You know I'm from the Underground ground but I don't remember telling anyone else and it got out somehow...so now I have..." your confident words started to fade but luckily Levi knew what you were going to say. After all he struggled with something similar when he first joined.

"You're now being bugged by a bunch of idiots" he finished for you and you nodded gratefully.

"Yes...I don't mean to purposely miss meals but their words turned to threats which turned into me overthinking everything and not coming to dinner. I'm sorry" you looked down again and Levi sighed.

"Stop apologizing for something that isn't your fault" he came closer and raised your chin with his fingers.

"I'm glad that you accepted help once it was offered to you. Now we can solve this and get you back with us. No more of dealing with this on your own" he said firmly, though it was still soft.

You nodded as a lump formed in your throat. Now you were going to start crying. But this was ok. It was with Levi. The man who made you feel safe and made the Surface worth the constant annoyance of the bullies. As the tears started flowing, Levi's thumbs wiped them for you.

"I've been through this too. I have a proper plan to deal with them. Leave this to me and if anyone starts trouble with you again, you come to me as soon as possible. Understood?" He asked once your silent sobbing ceased.

"Yes sir!" You chirped, your usual self back again.

"Levi. When it's just us, I want you to drop the formalities" he corrected, his lips twitched upwards faintly.

"Alright Levi, thank you!" You embraced him tightly. Levi hesitated, not used to physical affection, let alone from the woman he was head-over-heels in love with, but then slowly returned the embrace.

"I care about you Y/n. Don't ever forget that" he mumbled just loud enough to hear. The small nod of your head, have him the response he was looking for.

Levi loves you and there's no doubting that. It'll take time to ease your own walls down before he has access to your beautiful heart. No matter how long it takes, he'll happily wait and do whatever it takes for him to have a chance with you. To properly show you the love and happiness you deserve despite the bitter world around you. He wants to give you the same joy that you gave him. It's a promise that Levi's made and he swears to see it through.

[eremiie]

hbd cornelius springer <3

❥ nsfw | 3.2k words | connie x fem!reader

❥ content - blowjob

❥ the birthday boy deserves some birthday head!!!

happy birthday connie springer, and happy belated birthday @arlerted ily both a whole lot <3... i started this at like 4am so pls bare with this

"you enjoying your birthday?"

connie turns around at the sound of your voice, soda can in hand while he closes the fridge door.

the way his face lights up when he connects your voice to your face makes you beam. his eyes get wide, eyebrows rise up, and a crooked smile graces his features as you walk forth, your hand trailing against the kitchen counter.

it makes you smile, the ways he's immediately stoked to see you. it's endearing if anything and your heart flutters at the excitement that twinkles in his eyes at your appearance.

"duh... yeah of course i like it."

"duh... yeah of course i like it."

"duh... yeah of course i like it."

his stupid smile shifts into a small smirk and he picks up his drink to take another sip. "what're you lookin' at?"

seriously? were you that obvious?

he leans back against the corner of the kitchen counter, twirling the soda can in his hand to shake his drink up while steadying himself with his elbows. you can tell the question was one he was genuinely waiting on an answer for— it was to just rile you up and one for him to shrug off with a 'just messin'.

you roll your eyes. there was no reason to give him an ego. "your ugly party hat." your tone is snarky, and a breathy laugh leaves connie's throat as he shakes his head at you. he beckons with two slender fingers.

"come 'ere."

your stomach turns at the gesture— no at the sentence and you curse the slight stubbornness that keeps you standing where you stood with your arms crossed. "what?"

connie holds your gaze easily, and instead of giving you an answer his hand reaches out to pull you towards him by your forearm.

you stumble forward until you were situated between his feet, a strong hand encasing your wrists and his breath fanning across your face from the proximity of you and connie.

his eyes look more hazel up close, green and yellow dancing like a fiery bright fire. you can feel the denim of his jeans rub against the fat flesh of your thighs from where you stand, and connie makes no effort to move back.

it's a clear invasion of your space but neither you or him seem to mind— and you hope connie didn't take the way your heart jumps in your chest and your suddenly uneven breathing as a sign that you did mind. no, it was the exact opposite of that if anything.

"are you enjoying the party?" his voice comes out a little too smooth for your liking. where was the slight cracks in his voice as he spoke or the lilts in his tone as he tried his best to be a flirt?

the way he looks at you doesn't help. his eyes are low lying, having trouble staying focused on only just yours. you notice them flit a little lower every now and then before popping back up to match your gaze.

you hoped you came off as unbothered— stable and unfazed by his sudden demeanor. if it wasn't obvious by now your slight attraction to connie was something that you couldn't seem to let go of ever since you had first met him.

you hated how goofy he was and how the lame jokes he'd crack would always make you laugh regardless of how stupid. you hated how  somehow he'd always coerce you to do the handy work when it came to class projects because he was too lazy to get up off his own ass and help you. you hated how even through all these little silly quirks of his if he really wanted to with a few slip ups here and there he could make the hairs on your arms stand and have you stop breathing just from a slick look and slick sentence.

you hated all these things because they all made you feel gushy inside no matter how dumb it was. they made your body warm and gave you this comforting feeling that you couldn't get from anyone else.

so when connie repeats another "hm?" catching you off guard for the second time, that warm feeling returns because this time the pads of his fingers drum against your shoulder, a little to close to the junction near your neck.

"as long as ymir and sash keep me entertained, then yeah. this little 'party' isn't that bad." your quick with your response this time once he sets you back on track and you calm a bit.

"so ymir 'n sash are the life of the party for ya?" he pouts, and you scrunch your nose up when he leans in a little more, a mock pitiful expression on his face. "damn, 'n i'm supposed to be the birthday boy... that's crazy."

you can tell he's a little under the influence. despite it being his birthday he was actual one out of a few to keep their drinking at a light tonight. you couldn't say the same for armin who was currently passed out and curled up at the safety of mikasa's side on the large sofa, or for reiner who was last crying to ymir before she managed to 'shut the fuck up jockey' him as you walked pass.

you liked it like this though, liked to know that the interactions between you and connie weren't entirely the alcohol talking.

but it wasn't like it was ever really anything but him talking when he got more than comfortable with you.

light touches up the soft skin of your thighs, moving you around by placing his hands on your waist (where you must say they fit like a puzzle), or attacking you in tickles when he decided to crash at you and sasha's place and you wouldn't pass up the remote.

those were all connie, but it was nice to know that the person in front of you was mostly connie as well.

"you are... you just haven't been keeping me company as you should have." you lift up a hand right in front of his face and pretend to inspect your nails before dropping four fingers down to your palm and turning your nails to you once again.

connie let's out a low laugh at the gesture before using his own palm to cup the top of your hand. you expect him to push it down and let go but he only holds it in his grip with that same dumb smile plastered on his face as he doesn't fail to keep eye contact with you.

"ha-ha, so funny. you act like we didn't dance together," you recall the memory of connie hoisting you up from the couch and spinning you around until your backside was pressed against him, asking you to 'dance'. if anything that encounter is probably what encouraged the tingle between your legs and pushed you to follow connie into the kitchen. "sit together for like a good ass while, and play cards together— cheating together i might add."

you giggle, "did eren not realize that practically half the deck was under my ass and in your pockets?" connie reciprocates your giggle in his cheery tone and he raises the soda can to his lips again to empty it out inside his mouth.

"nah, but for real, what more company do you need?"

in the back of your head you had a solid idea of the kind of company you needed from connie, but you weren't even sure if your mind was quick enough to formulate it into a sentence that sounded appealing to the ears, enticing even.

a dramatic sigh leaves your lips and your hands come up to connie's head, one index plucking at the thin string below his chin and the other one holding the loud party hat until you were pulling it off and fiddling with it in your hand.

connie's hand automatically comes to rub at the short grey strands with a small frown at the absence of his hat. he stands up straight so he's peering down at you and his arm swings over your shoulder as he begins walking the two of you towards the exit to the kitchen abandoning his empty can of soda. "what?"

you slow down your pace so that he slows down and pull his arm from around you just as quickly as he placed it there massaging his knuckles in the process.

the eagerness to stay alone with him and not go back out where the chatters of all your friends would become tenfold is what makes you more bold, is what makes you back connie up towards the kitchen island until your practically leaning on him with doe eyes, fluttering your lashes and saying, "just wanna be alone with you for a minute..." you hesitate for a moment before beginning to speak again, "i gotta present for you, but we gotta go upstairs."

it's like your words alone manage to somewhat crack the demeanor he had going on. how his mouth slightly parts and how his body tenses up slightly tells you. you're thankful for the small adrenaline rush a measly walk to the archway gave you.

"shit, what's upstairs?" you relish in how he feeds into your words instead of stuttering under pressure and his hand moves to the small of your back pulling you even closer.

it's noticeable that he likes to feel your skin on his, and his hands are warm against the skin of your hip, practically singeing it with just his touch. it sends a hot feeling throughout your body and you indulge in him some more, fully enveloping your hand with his free one and giving a nice smile.

"if you come with me then it'll be me and you," and he lets you pull him along like a dog on a leash, sticking as close to its owner as possible as he's so close behind you that you can feel him up against your back as you begin to nonchalantly walk past your group of friends conversing in the living room.

for you it's easy to ignore their remarks and looks of 'finally'. after all, you knew they were coming. but connie couldn't, shooting silly faces to his audience as he lets you pull him along.

"they're finally fucking."

"go, birthday boy!"

"gettin' some birthday pussy!"

"_______, bite his dick off for me!"

the only phrase to elicit some sort of reaction from you is the mumbly one from sasha from whatever was in her mouth as she encouraged you to injure connie.

all the phrases seem to get one out of connie, from him pretending to fuck you from behind causing you to pinch the tan skin of his wrist to him making kissy faces at jean, eren, and even to ymir who further encouraged you to take a chomp out of his little friend.

you lead him through his bedroom door, immediately locking it because you know he'll forget and then turning to face him again.

when you turn back around connie's still looming over you, his hands lankily at his sides and it's as if he doesn't know what to do with them.

it makes you titter, and you take a step towards him pulling at his wrists place his hands back on your hips. "so what's my present?"

your hands come up to come his face and his skin is soft under your touch. he's warm and his breathing is unsteady as you lean forward to press your lips onto his.

he quickly returns the kiss, more fervently than you if anything. connie immediately groans as if the feeling of your lips on his was something he was craving.

connie pushes you against the door, a small thud eliciting from the way your back hits it and he lets go of your hips to cup your face and bring you deeper into the kiss.

the way he presses up so close against you makes you part your lips slightly giving him enough time to slip his tongue into your mouth until it's slotted alongside yours.

his knee parts your legs and bump against your crotch making you moan and let go of his face, holding onto his shoulders instead.

you pull back to breathe for a brief moment— and connie's eyes are overcast with lust. he doesn't have that twinkle from earlier and his grip on your hips is tighter than it was a few seconds ago.

he breathes heavily and rests his forehead against yours then dropping his knee. "that wasn't all i get for my birthday, right?"

with another roll of your eyes you shake your head. "it'd be a little rude of me to leave you like this, yeah?"

you slide down the wall until your knees hit the carpet and sit back on your shins. your delicate hands slide down connie's chest until the tips of your fingers are brushing over the buckle of his belt.

"yeah," connie's eyes flutter shut and he places a hand on the door to once again steady himself. "'d be real fuckin' rude of you."

your hands make work of his belt, unclasping the loop, unzipping the zipper and unbuttoning his pants to begin shrugging down the denim.

you had barely even started doing anything yet connie's mouth was slightly parted in anticipation. it was amusing how even the slightest touch from you could elicit a reaction out of him.

you pride yourself in this, and you take your time letting your fingertips massage the length of connie's clothed cock beneath his boxers. his body stutters overtop of you for a quick second and you move your hands to the hem of his boxers to begin pulling them down.

he's pretty; a slightly flushed tip that complimented the tan color of his skin. he's clearly already hard and you swear when your hand wraps around him his dick twitches in your touch. "god," he mumbles.

his dick is heavy in your hand, and he's thick to the touch. with a few test pumps you prop yourself up on your knees once more and place a hand over his thigh. "c'mon," his tone is encouraging yet hurrying, needy.

you click your tongue at him before using it to kitten lip his tip, like you were just trying to get a taste. connie hisses above you and drops his hand down to the top of your head.

"c'mon, we can't take too long with everyone still down there."

you know he's only saying so because he wants to feel your mouth around him. he's only being needy because it's something he'd been craving over the course of a few months. you are something he had been craving and now that you were under him he wanted all of you, starting with what you were willing to give which happened to be your pretty throat.

nevertheless, he's the birthday boy and you want to help pleasure him, making him feel a euphoric feeling that you know he's longed for.

you stick your tongue out and slap his tip against the flat of your tongue, and connie lets out another short groan, his fingers scrunching your hair.

connie shudders from above you and you almost feel bad for teasing him. you let the warmth of your mouth consume him completely— well, as far as you can while your hand works at the remainder.

"yeah, yeah..." he hums and he opens his eyes  again to look down at you.

your mouth around him felt heavenly, and the image of you sucking him off was even better; cheeks hollowed out and hand pumping his length.

you were so pretty.

connie brings the hand in your hand down to your cheek to feel himself through the skin, his tip pressed up against the inside of your cheek as he slightly rolls his hips forward to fuck in your mouth gently.

you pull off of him, pushing spit to the front of your mouth and letting your saliva drip onto his cock.

"fuck, you can't do that," he whines and rubs his tip against your lips until you open up again for him and his hand returns to your hair. "stick your tongue out."

you obey. using the leverage he has on your locks, he pushes deeper into your mouth, bobbing your head as he thrusts forward. small moans leave connie's lips. he's infatuated with the way your tongue slides against his underside as you try your best to relax your throat to let him in.

he loves it, loves how your mouth is so wet and sloppy around him, how it feels so good to be inside you— and he wants to feel every part of you, not stopping at your mouth.

saliva drips from the corner of your mouth and you try to suppress the gags that try to come up. you whimper from underneath connie, and he pulls out to give you a minute to breath.

it's funny how he's breathing harder then you his chest heaving. "that fuckin' mouth,"

you give a slight smile at the compliment, pleased to know you were pleasing him.

"i need it s'more."

what kind of person would you be if you didn't give the birthday boy what he wanted?

so you give him more, using connie's thighs to keep yourself steady, relaxing yourself and breathing through your nose as you let connie fuck your mouth.

he becomes erratic, the grip he has on your hair is slightly painful but you know he's too caught up in his lust, too caught up in the haven that was your throat.

he's so lost in the pleasure that he doesn't warn you when he's about to cum and you only know by the way his cum spills down your throat making you cough and pull off of him.

what you could only assume was a "sorry" comes from him as he calms down, pulling up his boxers and jeans but forgetting to buckle his belt. his hand reached out for you to grab it.

you take it and he pulls you up until you're almost at his height again, that same dumb smile on his face. "did you like your present?" you hum after you clear your throat.

"duh..." his thumb comes up to wipe at the saliva around your mouth before pushing the digit between your lips. you waste no time entertaining him, sucking your spit up and popping off of his thumb. "you thinkin' you could gimme something else though?"

you snort, "what happened to we couldn't take too long cause everyone's downstairs?"

"i'm still hard, it's my birthday, i really don't give a fuck who's downstairs." his words contradict his earlier statement but you brush it off, pulling him by the string of his jacket and pressing another peck to his lips.

"get in the bed birthday boy."

[cosmicjoke]

I’d like to ask why do you think Eren allowed himself to be killed at the end? Is it because he was suicidal because of the guilt of his own actions and allowed Mikasa to kill him to just put him out of his misery?

or is it because he saw the future knowing his friends would fight him and put and end to the titan curse which caused to Eren change his goals from wanting to kill all the world to make his friends into heroes to free them from his actions?

or is it because allowing himself to be killed ultimately made him evade responsibility of his own actions? Because I read an analysis from someone saying that Eren wanted to do the rumbling because he wanted complete agency of his actions but didn’t want to accept any sort of responsibility or consequences. By having god like powers like the founding titan, you can essentially do want you want but most people would not accept responsibility or consequences because you are a god. It’s easier to become a devil or a god but not a human being accepting responsibility. Eren would rather make the situation worse for his own benefit rather than facing the fact he is the problem. Which is why dragged his friends into trauma and chaos.

what do you think?

I think it was that Eren knew what he had done was unforgivable and that it put him beyond redemption. There wasn't any coming back from it, and he knew it. He knew he had to die. Eren's guilt was very real, and it consumed him. Remember how he was in Marley, when the Survey Corps visited there? He was deeply despondent and detached from everything, and when he confessed his true motivation to Ramzi, he began to sob and expressed genuine remorse. Eren knew what he was in that moment. He couldn't deny it to himself any longer. But I think up to that point, he'd tried very hard to do so. Back on Paradis, he makes the attempt by telling his friends that he wants to protect them, but what this really is is an attempt to convince himself. He knows the future. He sees what he does. He's trying to convince himself before they leave for Marley that it's to protect his friends, to ensure they have a long and happy life. It's a way for him to cope with the ugly reality staring him in the face, which is that he wants to destroy the world. He makes another stab at convincing himself of this in the scene with Hange, too, once he's brought back to the island and imprisoned. When he grabs Hange through the bars and screams at her about her supposed failure to find any, other way to solve the conflict. He's completely full of shit. He knows there were other options and other routes they could have taken. It was his own doing, his own actions that set into motion the imminent attack facing Paradis. His own actions which brought the world's forces down on the island. People don't get this about Eren. Everything he says about wanting to protect his friends, everything he says about erasing the Titan curse, or safeguarding the island, it's all a lie. Lies he tells both himself and others as a means to cope with his intense guilt.

The issue for Eren comes when they get to Marley, and he's looking around and he realizes that all of the people he sees are just regular people. They aren't evil, and they aren't his enemy. But he knows he's going to kill them, anyway. He realizes he wants to kill them, even as he knows there's no, justifiable reason to do so. I think a large part of the remorse he shows with Ramzi comes from the realization that he is, indisputably, a bad person. He begins to cry because he can't deny it to himself. In that moment, he has to fully face the reality of who he is, and that's someone who wants to wipe out all of humanity in order to shape the world into the image he saw in Armin's book. In order to achieve his idea of personal freedom. A world devoid of humanity. That's Eren's dream, and he doesn't care who he has to hurt or kill in order to accomplish it, including the very friends he claimed only to want to protect.

That's demonstrated by Sasha's death. That's demonstrated by Hange's death. That's demonstrated by Levi's body being destroyed. That's demonstrated by the fact he pulls all of them into a war they didn't ask for or want. That's demonstrated by him forcing them to fight against him, a person they loved and cared about. Even forcing Mikasa to kill him was incredibly selfish. He caused her untold trauma and heartbreak by putting her in that position. What Eren did never had anything to do with him wanting to better the world, or his friend's circumstances, or wanting to end the Titan curse. It only ever had to do with the fulfillment of a selfish desire. Eren acts like a child because he is a child. He has the selfishness of a child, the compulsiveness, the stupidity and the pettiness. He has a child's inability to accept reality. People try to say Eren's character was "retconned" when he put his friends in danger, but no, Eren's character never changed. He was always putting his friends in danger, always running ahead and leaving them behind, not caring how it affected them or impacted their lives. We see it early on, with him wanting to join the Survey Corps, and not caring that by doing so, Mikasa will surely follow, thus putting herself in harms way for his sake. We see it with him continually getting into fights with other children, not caring that it's Mikasa who always has to bail him out, or that it negatively impacts his mother. He says it's to protect Armin, but it never was about that. It was because Eren was bored and wanted something to happen. Remember, when he's sitting and staring up at the sky, and he says "I wish something would happen"? That's all he's ever cared about. He always wanted chaos because he wanted to relieve his own disappointment with the way the world was. He always felt shackled by the mundane nature of reality. He felt like he was being oppressed by it, which is where this whole concept of freedom formed in his head. It was always rooted in boredom. He believed he could accomplish some sort of self-satisfaction through the creation of chaos and violence. It's why he attacks Mikasa's kidnappers, too. It wasn't to save Mikasa, it was to alleviate his own boredom. He goes directly against his father's instructions when he does that, without ever thinking how it would affect Grisha if he were to be killed. And we see it all throughout the story, with Eren constantly needing to be rescued because he acted recklessly, and every time he needed to be rescued because of his own stupidity and selfishness, people died as a result.

People don't understand Eren's character at all. He was never a good person. He was always a horribly selfish and petty child, one that never grew up or matured because he was simply incapable of it. He says it to Zeke himself. Nothing made him that way. He was just born like that.

Anyone trying to fit Eren's actions into some heroic or selfless sacrifice on his part, or to frame his actions as such, are deluding themselves. Nothing he ever did was selfless or heroic. He was always acting for his own satisfaction, and that's it. If people would just accept that simple fact about his character, AoT in general would make a lot more sense to them.

[hajimesh]

𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁

⥅ eren jaeger / 1.8k words

warnings. manga spoilers, fluff and angst, gender neutral reader

a/n. my entry for anilysium's collab, don't forget to check the masterlist !! thank u sm temi for the beta ♡ @thefairywalker

hope is what makes someone hold onto a promise. and that hope it's worse than the broken promise itself.

—

845.

an autumn-like breeze cooled down the summer afternoon, and with the sky barren of any clouds, it was easier for the sun rays to land on those familiar blond strands.

"over there!"

eren's small hand—even though it was big enough to cover yours—wrapped around your wrist before it tugged you through the crowd. your rapid breaths were all you could hear while you mentally prayed to make it on time, just a couple more steps and you would be within reach, already staring at armin’s frightened face which caused your heart to jump. but what finally managed to send you in a state of despair was the sight of eren shoving the bigger kid away.

“what do you think you’re doing, yeager?!”

“are you hurt?” tears gathered at the corners of your eyes while you helped armin up on his feet, you didn’t have to turn around to know eren had received a punch, his pained wail making you flinch.

armin took your hand and together faced the scene before your eyes, holding onto each other's hands while tears dampened your cheeks.

“leave him alone!” the tremble in your voice was obvious, even after multiple fights with those kids it always ended up the same way. armin and you crying in fear for eren and mikasa's safety.

only this time mikasa was nowhere to be seen.

“shut up!” 

“don’t talk to them like that!” with a kick on the shin, eren managed to keep the bully out of commission for a few seconds. but that was enough for your saviour to arrive.

“leave before i call the garrison.”

relief began to relax your tense stance, you all knew that it wasn’t the moment to be wasting their time in a kid’s fight, the shortage of food seemed to worsen each day and keeping the people on a tight leash became harder as the days went by.

the kid seemed to finally realize he wouldn't win this time, so with a scoff he took a couple of steps back, "this isn't over," his annoyed gaze traveled from eren to you, "and try not to piss your pants next time."

the three of you watched him run away while the rush of adrenaline began to wear out on your bodies and gave in to the tiredness. had mikasa not intervened, the outcome would've been way worse.

"hey," eren was the first one to break the silence, turning towards you and landing a hand on your shoulder. unfortunately, the softness in his voice was your catalyst and soon you allowed the distress to overcome you, "oh no, don't cry!"

it was useless to try to get your tears to stop, falling one after another as your chest racked with broken sobs, "i-i'm sorry i couldn't be o-of help!"

armin watched in worry as eren tried and failed to get you to calm down. he could tell you were scared when you confronted the bully, your hold on his hand so tight he feared you would end up hurting yourselves. but even so, you had pulled through your fear and stood your ground, something he admired from you.

with a tug on your shirt, mikasa signaled you to start walking, her impassive yet reassuring gaze letting you know she was there for you.

"let's go home."

—

the warm steam that blew onto your blotchy face felt soothing, the taste of mrs. yeager's freshly brewed tea successfully relaxing the tightness in your chest as it ran down your throat.

you could already feel the tiredness hitting you all at once, begging you to lie down and close your eyes so you could rest your mind after the afternoon's occurrences. but with eren's eyes observing you, you knew you weren't off the hook yet.

"better?"

not trusting your voice, you hummed and smiled behind the cup resting on your lips, sniffling slightly when a flashback of eren being punched on the face appeared on your mind.

however, he didn't seem to be done with the topic.

"why did you stand up to him if you were so scared? you were lucky he didn't go for you." 

"'cause i didn't want him to keep punching you."

"i don't need your help," his tone gave you the wrong impression. were you bothering him? a frown pulled your lips in a wobbly pout but he was quick to realize his error, "i mean, we should focus on armin, right? he's the one always in trouble."

you rocked your feet back and forth, watching them dangle from the chair as you mulled over his words. he wasn't lying, it was armin who often ended up as the victim of those bullies. at least when neither of you were around to aid him.

"i have a plan!" eren suddenly perked up, eyes brimming with excitement and pride as he obviously found his plan a good one, "dad always says that it's his duty to protect mom because they're married. so, if we get married, i can protect you and we can protect armin—together!"

you couldn't help but gasp, "married?! but we are too little!"

"not now, dummy. when we grow up!"

"what if i cry again and can't protect armin?" you voiced out your biggest worry as you pushed the cup away and made room on the table for your arm, resting your chin on top of it after yawning.

"i'll protect all of us," he didn't even hesitate, “and we have mikasa too.”

the silly promise made so much sense to your 10-year-old brain, which is why you held onto the hope and safety it gave you and agreed.

carla yeager squealed the news to her husband once eren and you had fallen asleep.

—

850.

there wasn't a day where you didn't regret not going with them.

the lively days soon became dull without eren and armin’s excited voices as they discussed the fire and icy lands in armin’s book, mikasa’s reassuring presence gone as well. but you knew you wouldn’t make it through the strenuous military training—or at least that was what you had told yourself.

truthfully, you wondered how were they not scared of continuing with their suicide mission of joining the legion, all those sacrifices just to see what was outside the walls. why couldn’t they be happy with what you already had? it wasn’t much, but you had each other, which was more than what most people could say.

with shiganshina gone, you became one of the refugees that lurked in the streets of trost. the conditions to live growing harsher, food and shelter becoming escarse and a luxury, but eren’s promise gave you enough strength to go on with your days until you landed a job as a waitress at a pub. 

you missed them, all of them.

their names flew from the mouths of the military police and other higher ups that passed by, making you wonder what they were up to. however, when news spread about eren’s abilities to shift into one of those creatures, that old sense of worry shook you to your very core.

was he hurt? mikasa wouldn't let anyone lay a finger on him, but what if they separated them?

multiple scenarios ran through your head, many of them not so pleasing and only worsening your nerves. but if their names kept coming up in the authorities’ conversations after each and every mission, then it meant they were still alive.

unfortunately, all you could do was pray for their well-being and silently beg them to return.

—

854.

after years of not hearing his voice, it took you several seconds to recognize it.

“where– where are we? why–”

“you’ve changed,” his tone was soft yet hints of curiosity sept through as he marveled at you, “you look older..." prettier, he wanted to say.

having spent so many years without the intensity of his gaze, you realized you had grown unused to it, “you’ve changed too.”

it seemed like everyone had disappeared, except for you and him. dunes of fine sand slithered under your feet and a bright light illuminated the starry sky, converging by the horizon and causing his green eyes to shine in a way you had never seen before.

“eren… what’s all this?”

one moment you were surrounded by chaos, people screaming while an army of colossal titans walked south and eren declared war against the rest of the world; and the next it all had gone quiet, a man—eren—standing next to you while holding your hand.

"they will pay, and then we will be free," his thumb rubbed the skin on the back of your hand gently.

you caught the way his gaze hardened for a second, rage clear in his features but what confused you the most was the amount of hurt swirling in his eyes.

​​what did he mean by 'they'? you were aware of marley's feelings towards the eldians but was it truly that bad? there were so many questions you wanted to ask, but something told you that you didn’t have enough time so you chose to stick to the most important ones. 

“how's mikasa? armin... is it true? he’s the colossal now?”

eren pulled you closer to him by tugging on your hand, cradling the side of your face with his free hand as a smile took over his lips.

"mikasa's busy kicking everyone's asses," he joked and you couldn't help but laugh, relieved at the sudden lightness in his voice. your eyes closed briefly when he leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours, licking his lips before continuing, "armin... yeah, he's the colossal. looks like i need to find another excuse to marry you, hm?” 

you found it unfair how after almost a decade, he could still hold such a power over your heart, the butterflies in your stomach feeling worse than what you recalled.

“you remember?”

he didn't miss the hope in your tone, his own heart aching at the thought of you assuming he had forgotten about your existence. there wasn't a day where he hadn't wondered about your well-being, were you safe? had a titan stole your life just like they had done with his mom? it was armin and mikasa who consoled him whenever the intrusive thoughts became too much to his already stressed mind.

“i never forgot.”

it was subtle, the way that kids promise evolved into a lifetime vow—but neither of you minded.

“i need you to promise me one more thing," he murmured, his breath fanning over your lips while your own faltered at his proximity.

“you’re leaving again,” it wasn't a question.

“i have to.”

it pained him to no end, but it had to be done. the warmth of his lips touched your forehead, your cheeks, and lips; staying longer on the latter while your hearts synchronized for a moment, sharing years worth of affection.

"stay here, on the island. find somewhere safe to stay until it all ends.”

a mere murmur on your lips, that was all it took to harm your hopeful soul.

"and don't wait for me."

[theglitterypages]

Title: Till I Met You Part 4

Read Part 1, 2, and 3 Here

Pairings: Levi x fem! reader

Summary: You were the one who took care of Eren, Armin and Mikasa after they lost their parents. You're a doctor and you've been assigned to be the Scout's doctor after their encounter with the female Titan. You already expected to see your children, which is Eren, Armin and Mikasa but you met the Captain because he's injured what would happen next?

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1000+

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When Levi realized his feelings, he knew he had to make a move. Or else that Steve would make the first move and even if it was just a possibility but Levi already hated it.

But aside from that man whose name is Steve, Levi is bothered of how the brats would react once he starts courting you, as much as he wants to keep his feelings private, he knew he had to ask for the approval of your children.

He's been thinking about this for a week but his head is still empty.

“Levi, are you listening to me?”

Erwin snapped his fingers in Levi's face and the latter blinked, jerking out of his thoughts. He looked up at the commander with a bored look and Erwin sat back down with a sigh, “Alright, there's something wrong with you Levi.” the blond commented and Levi just sighed, Erwin is his best friend, indeed.

“You know that you can say anything to me right?”

“No, you'll tell Mike and Hanji in no time.”

“I don't have to tell them. They already knew about you and Dr. L/N,”

Levi looked at Erwin with a glare, “If someone's outside this room tryin' to listen in they can hear you. Keep your voice down.” he growled lowly and Erwin laughed as he clutched his hand onto his stomach.

“So this is about Dr. L/N...”

“It's not just about her, if I make a move her children from the 104th might feel awkward or whatever.”

The commander smiled and ran a hand through his hair, this is new, Levi is not denying anything at all. Before, the stern captain is always telling them to withdraw the topic whenever they'll tease him about you but now Levi is opening up. Talk about character development.

Levi was also surprised of himself but he needs all the help he could get to figure things out, he doesn't want to make the kids uncomfortable but he knew that once he stepped up his game and confess, things might change. “You do care for those kids too that's why you're afraid that they might treat you differently once they found out that you're in love with their mother.” Erwin spoke Levi's thoughts and the latter just stared at him before nodding his head slowly.

“I wasn't worried before because I feel like the brats are close enough to me but after what I heard last time I don't know anymore.”

“What exactly happened?”

Flashback

“Oh I remember, Steve was inviting us to a dinner if everyone's free.” Mikasa was the first to react to your announcement, she snorted and glanced at Armin and Eren just to see that both also looked unimpressed of what they've heard.

As the one who raised these kids you've read their expressions and you sighed, “I don't know why you guys are like this when it comes to Steve.” Armin looked up at you with a pout before looking away, “He wants to marry you, isn't that obvious? He's been tryin' to be a good father figure but trust us Mom, the three of us knows he only wants you not us.” you are more than aware of your friend's feelings for you but you don't mind it because you don't feel the same and you've told him about it.

“Don't you want me to get married?"

“We do. But what you deserve is a man who's true to himself and to others and if we're lucky enough we want a man who would accept the fact that you have three kids.” Eren said as he made his way to you, wrapping his arms on your waist and hugging you sideways.

“You sacrificed your youth for us Mom and we want nothing but your happiness. You deserve more...” Mikasa said as she looked down.

“Don't worry, as of now my heart only belongs to the three of you.” you hugged the three of them and kissed the top of their heads with a smile on your lips.

But you have no idea that Levi heard all of it as he was on his way to talk to Hanji.

End of Flashback

“So you think she doesn't like you back?”

“I heard it from her own mouth. Do I have to retell that story again?” Levi snickered.

Erwin sighed and pat Levi's shoulder, “Do you think that a woman like Dr. L/N will make efforts to cook for you, make tea for you without any feelings involved?” Erwin is not blind not to see the mutual feelings between you and Levi and he's been tired of watching the two of you hide each other's feelings by making everything look like it is a casual friendship when the truth is it is more than that.

Levi saw hope after he heard that but the thing that's bothering him is what if the brats from the 104th won't see him worthy for you?

“If you're worried about the kids, they like you as much as you like them so stop sulking. Man up and confess, this is not the Levi that I know.”

“You suck in giving advice.” Levi snorted and stood up before leaving the room and Erwin was left laughing to himself, knowing that he might witness another chapter in Levi's life that is different from his cruel past.

Levi purposely stayed late that night as he knew that you're also working late tonight thanks to Hanji's help.

When he made his way to the kitchen and saw you making yourself a cup of tea, he smiled to himself despite of his fears of you not accepting his feelings.

“I hope you won't mind me intruding.”

“I won't, would you like a cup of tea? This might help you sleep.”

Levi smiled and nodded before sitting at the chair nearest to you. ”Here you go, Captain.” you handed him the cup of tea and sat across from him, silence filled the whole room after that and you don't know why there's an awkward ambience between the two of you tonight.

“Captain..”

“Y/N...”

The two of you laughed at each other and just like that the strange awkwardness between you two have disappeared.

“There is a reason for my lack of sleep these days...” Levi began and you became so curios because he sounded so serious.

“Is anything bothering you? Maybe I could help.”

“I don't think you could help me in this one, Doctor.”

“W-Well forgive me for thinking so full of myself but maybe if you tell me it might lessen your burden don't you think?”

Levi gulped every single drop of his tea before placing it down as he fixed his gaze on you.

“Tell me what would you do to help me if you're the reason of my restlessness?”

To be continued...

Previous ------ Next

[could-be-kira]

go ahead, hit me – eremika angst

[ in honour of aot coming back, here's an alternate version of the table scene where instead of eren beating up armin, he goes for mikasa's emotions instead ]

"You're a slave to your Ackerman abilities. Mikasa, since we were kids... I've always hated you."

Those words rung through Mikasa's head clear as day. The very idea of that felt like an enormous slap to the face. Eren... hated her? No, that couldn't have been true. They had gone through so much together and had always been there for each other. Hell, Eren had even saved her from human traffickers when the two were kids. All of that, and now he was saying he hated her? That she was a slave?

There were so many different emotions running through the woman's head, mainly being pain and confusion. She just couldn't understand how the person that she had put so much of her life into trying could be saying these horrible things about her. She understood that he had been going through quite a bit recently– for the last seven years, really, but she had been there to support him through all of it. Hearing all of this was certainly hard, to say the least.

The turning point in all of this was when Armin tried to defend her. Without realizing what she was doing, Mikasa immediately jumped to hold him back as he attempted to throw a punch at Eren. Armin had been told that he had partially become the enemy, then was made to listen to her be called a slave. He had every right to be angry, and yet... she couldn't let him harm the brunette, only seeming to prove his point.

Gasping as she realized what she had done, she let go of Armin and backed away, it becoming increasingly difficult not to sob her eyes out.

"See? Everything you do is dictated by your Ackerman blood."

That was all it took for tears to begin spilling down Mikasa's face. She was finally at her breaking point and it was becoming hard for her to even articulate what to say to him. So much was swirling around in her mind, and as sure as she was that everything that she had done was of her own free will... she'd be lying if she said she wasn't beginning to believe some of the things that he had said.

"No, I just..." she sputtered out, still not exactly knowing what to say... that is, until she heard Armin's voice pipe up to encourage her.

"Come on, Mikasa– tell him off! You're not a slave and you never have been. Everything he's been telling you is wrong, everything you've done has been of your own free will!" Armin shouted, partially to encourage Mikasa to stand up to herself, and also partially to get his point across to Eren.

Slowly, Mikasa started nodding in agreement.

"Y-yeah, he's right," she said, trying to sound confident but still having a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "Everything I've done for you has been just for that reason... because it's been you! Because I-I really care about you..." she trailed off, that uncertainty really prevailing in her voice again. "I have my own free will, I've spent all these years protecting you because I want to, not because my blood says that I have to!"

"If you have your own free will, then fight back." Eren argued back to her, the deadpan look still heavily prevalent in his eyes. If there was anything that he hadn't been truthful aboutin this situation, he sure as hell did a good job at hiding it. His dead serious expression hadn't changed once, which really added to Mikasa's inability to doubf his words at this moment.

"You mean... you want me to–?" Mikasa was dumbfounded by what she was hearing right now. Eren wanted her to... attack him? She was incredibly conflicted on what she should do. If she did nothing, she would only be proving his point further. On the other hand, she was against the idea of trying to hurt him in any way. It didn't matter what the current situation was, the woman didn't want to do anything that would cause her to physically fight with the one she always tried to protect... the one she loved.

"Go ahead, hit me," the brunette challenged again. "If you're really not controlled by your blood like you say, you'll be able to do it. Hit me."

Mikasa's eyes widened upon hearing Eren challenge her for a second time. If it were anyone else who gave her a good reason to, she could have done it easily, but not him. No matter how much she should have, how much he may have deserved it, she just couldn't bring herself to hit him. It just felt wrong, it didn't matter how much she may have told herself that she had a good reason for it.

"I... can't." She said softly, a few tears beginning to well back up in her eyes. She hated this. She hated that she couldn't fight back no matter how much the little voice in her head said to, and she hated that Eren's point that she was a slave was only being proven by every word she said and every move she made. Mikasa couldn't deal with this when being put on the spot the way that she was, she needed time to process it, to go over everything. It could all be picked apart if she only had time, but unfortunately, time is always the one thing that there's never enough of.

"You can't." Eren repeated flatly. "That's just what I expected. You can't even try to hurt me when you're being provoked. You aren't free, you haven't been ever since your Ackerman instincts ignited that night. I can't stand the sight of you."

At that point, Mikasa was really doing her best not to completely crack. Yes, she was crying, but what she really wanted was to break, at least for a while. After some time to get her emotions out, she would have been able to pick apart what Eren said to her and figure out whether or not he was lying, but right now she just wanted to sit in a room alone and cry for as long as she needed.

Nodding hesitantly, she began to turn around and exit the room, Armin following behind her after getting up.

"If that's how you feel, then we'll leave. Thank you for at least taking a bit of time to talk to us." Mikasa said quietly, Armin shutting the door behind the two of them and placing his hand on her shoulder as a means of comforting her.

That couldn't have been the Eren that they knew, but neither of them were sure that they would get to see him for a long time... if ever again.