#arin hanson is a menace

[trashyswitch]

Day 15: "Are You Ticklish?"

Dan, Arin and the other members of Game Grumps are setting up the next 10 minute power hour. But while they're doing that, Arin's silliness gets out of control. This leads to Dan taking a large brunt of it while other staff members watch.

Can you guess which 'The Grumps' episode I directly referenced? Enjoy the read, and good luck guessing!

Dan and Arin were setting up their Grump space for today’s episode of the ten minute power hour. Their staff were moving the items over to the side, so Vanessa could throw them at the table. Arin was setting up the dinosaurs and the scissor-filled cup holder in the middle of the table, while Dan was trying to figure out how to do his hair for this episode.

“Should I put it in a pony? A bun?” Dan asked. 

Arin adjusted the angle of the left dinosaur. “I don’t know. Just throw it up how you want.” Arin told him. 

“Fine…” Dan took the pony off his wrist and flicked it at Arin’s butt. 

“OW!” Arin lifted his back and grabbed his ass. “Dude!” He looked at Dan. “...Again?” He asked. 

This earned a small fit of laughter from the co-host. “Please don’t!” Dan ordered. 

“Here.” Vanessa handed Dan a large hair clip. “Thanks!” Dan took it, and threw his hair into a half-up, half-down haircut. “How does it look?” 

“Looks good.” another staff member said. “Looks like you whipped it up in 5 seconds.” Vanessa spoke up. 

“Come on…” Dan hung his head with a laugh. “I’m getting mixed signals here.” He took it out and tried clipping it in again. “This better?” 

“Turn around?” Vanessa told him.  Dan turned to show her the rest of the hairstyle. 

“Looks fine.” Vanessa replied. 

“Thanks.” Dan replied, adjusting his blue plaid shirt. “Arin?” 

“Huh?” Arin looked up. “How does it look?” Dan asked him. 

Arin looked at the back, and thought for a moment. “I feel like a scrunchie would look better.” Arin told him. 

“Come on…” Toasti said in the audience. 

“Arin…” Dan huffed and looked at the audience. “I have a scrunchie in my bag. Can you get it for me?” Dan asked Tucker. “It doesn’t match at all, but it’ll work.” 

“Sure.” Tucker replied. “Where’s your bag?” 

“It’s outside the room by the couch.” Dan explained. 

“Got it.” Tucker replied. The door could be heard closing as both the hosts sat down in their respective chairs “You ready?” Arin asked. 

“Ready for what?” Dan asked him. 

Arin stared at him for a couple moments, before looking down. “...I don’t fuckin’ know…” He muttered. 

Dan laughed. “ArE yOu ReAdY? For what, Arin? YES!” Dan reenacted, making fun of their 2-second conversation. 

Arin laughed at it, loving the use of the ‘YES’ at the end. “I just wanna make sure you’re on your toes!” Arin told him, sending a couple playful little punches his way. “Ready for anything…” Arin kept going. 

“Anything?” Dan clarified. 

“Anything!” Arin brought his fist up to Dan’s face, and stopped it mere millimeters away from his face. A couple seconds later, Arin popped out his fingers and poked right above his eyes. “Ahaaa, I gotcha~” Arin joked. 

“You need to work on that…” Dan told him. 

Arin just flopped his fist against the table and laughed. “Ihi really don’t.” He told him. 

“Oh really?” Dan smirked. “How are you gonna…‘keep me on my toes’?” Dan asked him. 

Arin smirked. “3 words. That’s all it would take.” He clarified. 

“To get me going?” Dan asked. “Alright. Alright, what are those ‘3 words’?” Dan asked. “Spill the beans.” 

Arin smirked. “Alright.” He sat up a bit more and adjusted himself in his seat. “Are you ticklish?” Arin asked him. 

Dan blinked once…he blinked twice… “Are those the-” Dan’s eyes widened when he saw the little nod from Arin… And in no seconds flat, Dan jumped off the chair. “NO!” He tripped on the chair, but managed to take off running to the other side of the room. 

Arin, and the audience all bursted out laughing at the reaction. “OHO MY GOD!” Arin shouted, slamming his hand on the desk. 

“That was…The biggest lie, followed up by the deadest giveaway.” Vanessa told him. 

“Come on, Dan…” Arin reacted, getting off the chair. 

“NO, don’t get any closer!” Dan warned. 

“Why? Are you actually ticklish?!” Arin asked. Dan stared at him with slight fear in his eyes. “.....Uuuhhhh…” 

Arin walked a couple steps closer. 

“Arin…” Dan warned. 

“It’s not that bad.” Arin reassured him. 

“There’s an audience!” Dan yelled, gesturing to the 6 people in the room. 

Arin turned towards the audience. “Tell me, beloved audience: would you be bothered if I just-so-happen to tickle Dan right before the power hour?” Arin asked them. 

“DO IT!” Vanessa yelled. 

“Vanessa!” Dan yelled. 

“Come on! We’ve been friends for how long again?” Arin asked. 

“11 years!” Toasti spoke up. “Yeah, 11 years! And I rarely EVER tickle you!” Arin told him. 

Dan bit his lip as he heard the audience cheer “Do it! Do it! Do it!” over and over again. “I feel so betrayed right now.” 

Arin smirked and looked at Dan. “The lovelies want it!” Arin let him know. And this was the only warning he gave, before sprinting up to Dan. 

“ARIN!” Dan kept on shouting his name as Arin pulled him back into the show light. And of course, those shouts and protests were quickly drowned out by Dan’s own yelps and laughter. “FAHACK! HAHAHAHA- FUCK YOHOHOU!” Dan cackled, falling to the ground in under 5 seconds. 

“Down he goes!” Arin declared, kneeling down and continuing the onslaught. 

“NonoNO ARIHIHIHIN!” Dan weakly grabbed Arin’s hands as he threw his head back with wheezy laughter. 

“Jesus, dude! I keep going for different spots, and they’re ALL TICKLISH!” Arin reacted.

“SHUHUT UHUHUP!” Dan shouted. 

Arin dug his fingers into his sides. “His sides are bad…” He went for his ribs. “His ribs too…” He dug his fingers into his armpits next. “His armpits are somehow worse…” Arin told him. 

“Ihihif yohohou ehend up with a bruhuise, Ihihi am NOT- HAHAHA- REHESPONSIBLE!” Dan yelled at him. 

“Try his feet!” Vanessa spoke up. 

“NO!” Dan shouted. 

“Aw, great idea!” It didn’t take long for Arin to grab both his ankles in a chokehold. With his feet stuck, Arin looked at Dan with a smirk. “Any last words~?” 

Dan looked at the audience for a couple seconds, before looking at Arin with a tense smile. “Go fuck yourself.” 

“Oh, don’t you worry.” Arin started tickling the arches of his feet, earning him a big fit of cackles. “I’ll save that for a little later.” 

“BaHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Dan tugged on his feet, hugging himself as the laughter just kept exploding out of his mouth. “AHAHARIHIHIN! HAHAHAHA- NOHOHO MOHOHORE!” Dan shouted. 

“Holy shit- I think this is the worst so far!” Arin reacted, earning some laughs from the audience.

“FUCK YOHOHOHOU!” Dan shouted. 

“Okay, fun time’s over.” Arin stopped his fingers and gently put his feet onto the ground. Dan’s huffing and heavy breathing filled the room for a few moments while Arin took the scrunchy from Tucker. “Here’s your scrunchie.” Arin told him. 

Dan took it and flopped his hand onto the ground again, letting his breathing slow down first. “Okay…thank you…” He mumbled. 

“Are you okay?” Tucker asked.  Dan nodded his head and sat himself up. Once he was on his feet, Dan whipped his hair into a half-up, half-down hairstyle like discussed earlier. “This look good?” 

Arin looked at it. “Looks good.” He replied. 

“Great.” Dan sat down on the chair as the lights dimmed. “I’m just glad I peed before I got in here…because I would’ve needed a diaper change after that…” Dan said. 

“You don’t need to go again?” Arin asked, moving his hair out of his face. 

“Nope.” Dan replied. 

“Wait, again?” Someone said. “How many times a day do you think you pee?” Toasti asked.

“I don’t poop enough.” Vanessa replied. 

“I love poop. I love 💩. I �� like 3 or 4 times a day.” Arin said. 

“How many times do you poop, Dan?” Vanessa asked. 

“The pee for me is like 11.” Tucker spoke up. 

“If the pee breaks up long enough, and then you’re like ‘Oh?’ and then there’s like a second wind, does that count as two pees?” Dan asked. He looked around. “Did we start the episo-” 

“No, no, no, no, no- it’s-” Arin spoke up. “It’s- that’s one pee.” 

The light turned on, signaling the beginning of the episode. “Hello!” Dan spoke up right away. “And welcome to the 10 Minute Power Hour!" “Yay-” Arin spoke up. 

“This is- My name is Dan, and you are Arin.” Dan said, still looking at the camera. “Hello.” Dan said to Arin, despite STILL staring at the camera. 

“Okay.” Arin responded, loving the scripted, yet completely improv intro unfold. In the words of Dan: The show definitely started…

[blazehedgehog]

People get really weird about it, too! Every now and then I bump up against a group of Jontron fans who beat a drum about Jon surpassing Game Grumps in subscribers. The primary reason this is important to them is because Arin Hanson denounced his Newgrounds days where he was willing to do edgier (read: more racist) humor and has gone out of his way to apologize to anyone he's hurt by that.

But not Jon, no. Jon never would apologize for that! That's why he's better! He doesn't bend a knee for the SJW Menace! And subscriber numbers bear that out, you see!

These same people are also the ones who will go on about how "Jon was tricked" into saying those things, or that "Jon isn't really political in his videos" or whatever. But also he's cool because he never apologized for the things he did say. And continues to say, it should be noted. He absolutely makes politically-charged tweets, and they're about what you'd expect from a guy who got himself into this kind of trouble once already.

The double standard of these people who defend Jontron for never meaning those awful things but also celebrate him for never apologizing for being awful is hard to comprehend.

The problem is that Jontron makes people laugh, and some people will forgive basically anything if you make them laugh. Some people could be laying in an open grave, and as long as you kept them laughing about it, they'd freely let you bury them alive.

it's kinda weird how like jontron was suddenly like "i'm really racist. rich black people commit more crime than poor white people! have i mentioned the great replacement theory?" and lost like a million subscribers or whatever. and then suddenly now he's still making videos and still has a lot of subs and whenever you bring it up someone just says "oh so you're mad that he had an opinion" well i mean yeah i think he should've been killed and died and rotted and died for that one

[hamtaruto]

Do y'all know that pic from that big post .......it's a pic of a buff menacing Arin Hanson looking dude in a pair of GIGA high waisted paints and a tight ass shirt do y'all know what I'm talking abt...,,, Can I get that pic pls

[malykrisoftheazuresky]

The Legend of Zelda - The First Legend

In 1986, Nintendo came out with a game that would go on to live as the beginning of one of the greatest series of all time. The Legend of Zelda was one of the most influential games of its time, being the combination of an action and adventure exploration game. It was hard to see a library of NES games that did not have the golden cartridge standing out for all to see. Despite the limitations of the NES, The Legend of Zelda managed to do quite a lot for its time in terms of gameplay and structure. 

The story, while not necessarily bad, is extremely simplistic. This is due to the fact that most of the development of the game went to the actual game, leaving the very short story to be told in the manual that came with the game and in the Star Wars-like crawl text that appears if you wait a few minutes in the start screen. The premise is that Ganon, the villain of the game, has captured Princess Zelda and the relic called the Triforce of Power. Before her capture, Zelda split the Triforce of Wisdom into eight pieces so that Ganon would not be able to obtain it. The hero of the story must find the eight pieces of the Triforce of Wisdom in Hyrule and save Zelda from Ganon. The manual tells a much more detailed version of the story, but because it’s something you won’t read unless you’re looking for it, what you’ll likely see is the crawl text that tells this simplistic story. Despite the fact the canonical name of the hero is Link, the player is left to choose what to name the hero of the game. This is really all there is to the story. The only other characters that show up are a nameless old man and a nameless old woman who might tell you a hint or sell you items. There aren’t any twists or plot based character development that occurs. Instead the story of the game unfolds by the wordless actions the player does, rather than through dialogue between characters. 

The gameplay is where the game shines the most, having the player traverse the land of Hyrule to find the eight pieces of the Triforce of Wisdom, which reside in eight hidden dungeons. The game initially starts by immediately putting the player into the game, being able to control the hero in any direction they wish. The player views the world and the hero in a birds-eye view. When traversing the world, the player can move seamlessly in the specific section of the world they are currently within. The moment the player moves into a new section of the world, the screen will shift into that section. This can slow down the experience a bit, but that’s more of a limitation of the game at the time rather than a bad design choice. Exploration of the world will lead players to find secrets that contain rupees(the world’s currency), items or the dungeons themselves. While it can be missed, the first screen all players see has a cave for them to go into, granting the player with a wooden sword to aid them in their quest. 

The sword is the main weapon of use to fighting the monsters the roam Hyrule. The player is only able to attack in the direction they are facing, having the player require them to be close to perform a stabbing attack. However, if the player has their health 100% filled, their sword will shoot a beam, acting as a projectile to shoot at enemies from a safe distance. Health is indicated by heart containers, with the player initially starting with three. When filled, the heart containers will be shown as red. Upon being damaged, the heart container will be depleted in increments of fourths, halves or the entire heart container. When low on health, the player will begin to hear beeping. Once all the containers are depleted, the player dies and is presented with the game over screen. The player has the choice to save the game or to continue, either it be by starting back at the first screen of the game or at the first screen of the dungeon they died at. At the time, most games didn’t have a “save” function that didn’t require some insane password that needed to be written down. The Legend of Zelda was one of the first games to have a function that most people take for granted today. 

The character progression isn’t told by the story, but rather by the equipment the player acquires throughout their quest. As stated before, the hero initially starts with three heart containers, as well as a small shield, a wooden sword and a green tunic Throughout the game, if they manage to acquire them, the player will obtain additional heart containers, stronger swords and shields, and even stronger tunics. The player can visibly see these things, where its just seeing more heart containers or the change in color of the hero’s tunic and sword. The player can also sense how the hero has become stronger because of how they can now survive the more difficult enemies of the game and defeat the earlier ones with significantly less strikes. This sense of progression can also be segmented into how many pieces of the Triforce you’ve obtained so far, which you can keep track of and see how it all comes together piece by piece. Its this progression that the player will need if they wish to delve into Hyrule’s eight dungeons.

This next point can be a bit mixed, but finding the dungeons is not an easy task. There is nothing to guide the player in finding the dungeons, with the exception of cryptic hints from old men and women who are hiding in caves. The player is truly left to actually explore Hyrule and is left to their own devices to discover the secrets to finding all the dungeons, which can range from bombing a wall or solving the secret of a forest maze. Once the player reaches a dungeon, its up to the player to explore the dungeon to find a piece of the Triforce, which will be guarded by a dangerous beast. A dungeon may also contain a new item for the player to use, which can range from a bow with arrows, a boomerang or a raft. In addition to these tools, dungeons also contain keys to open locked doors, which can be used in any dungeon. Dungeon specific maps help the player keep track of where they are inside, that is if they can find them. Dungeons are filled with difficult enemies and locked passages, usually require intuition from the player to figure out how to access its secrets. This can consist of defeating enemies, pushing blocks, bombing weak walls to open new pathways or a combination of the three. Egoraptor(Arin Hanson) made a video on comparing A Link to the Past and Ocarina of time, where he touches on the idea of mixing exploration and combat. The game does not stop the player from exploring Hyrule/the dungeon while enemies are on the screen. This is probably one of the game’s strongest traits as allows the players to have the freedom to adjust their own focus on the game rather than having the game forcibly tell you that you need to focus on combat before exploration or vice versa. However, the concept of leaving the player to their own devices to discover and complete the objective can be hit or miss. Because the game doesn’t have any in-game guide to assist the player, one can easily get lost and get frustrated when they can’t find the dungeon they’re missing. At the same time, there’s also the level in non-linearity as the player is able to do all the dungeons out of order, with the exception of the final dungeon, and that can make it feel like the player is going on their own journey.  If you’re playing the game without a walkthrough, this can be the hardest Zelda game to date. 

Something I will keep brief is the music and the aesthetic of the game. While not large in variety, it’s one of the most iconic things about this game as most of the tracks have been reworked into later games. The overworld theme is particular is the most memorable track, giving a large sense of adventure. The dungeon theme does a great job at giving the player the idea that their delving into somewhere dangerous and unknown, yet mysterious and full of secrets. The theme of Ganon’s Lair is the only dungeon that uses its own track, giving the tone of entering the den of someone menacing and evil. Smaller sound designs, such as when acquiring an item or the sound of the sword beam hitting an enemy, feels rewarding and empowering. They go a long way down the line to help indicate what’s happening to the player while the game progresses. The same can be said about how the game looks. The overworld uses colors that pop out to indicate how bright and wonderous the world is. It’s very clear who you are, what the enemy exactly and what items are being presented. In addition to that, it’s easy to know where you are in terms of environment. When the environment changes, you’ll see the foreground go from trees to rocky terrain. Entrances to caves stand out in the bright space, which lead appropriately to a black spaced screen where only two lit fires stand and whatever lies inside. The exception to entrance indication are dungeons, in which they have this grand and large opening that seduce the player to venture in. The dungeons are represented by dim colors, showing how little light exists inside, but not dark enough that the player can’t see where they are and what they’re seeing.

The final thing I want to talk about is the end of the game and the difficulty of the game. I mentioned before that the high level of exploration in the game can make the game extremely difficult, but there are other things as well. Enemies can start to hit quite hard and take more hits as the game progresses. If you don’t find the sword and tunic upgrades, which are quite well hidden in the game, you’ll find it quite difficult to defeat the monsters in later parts of the game. The lack of direction can make it difficult to progress in the game as well, which probably lead to later games having a companion to help guide the player as to where to go next. However, the very end of the game is a little too much. The final dungeon, Ganon’s Lair, will open up once you acquire all eight pieces of the Triforce of Wisdom. It is riddled with locked doors and hidden bomb walls. The problem is that there aren’t enough keys in the dungeon and if you open the wrong door, you’ll have to find another key outside the dungeon. That leads the player to go to a shop that sells keys and have to gather rupees to buy keys. It bloats the game a bit. In addition to that, Ganon cannot be defeated unless you have the silver arrows, which is also difficult to find. The game doesn’t indicate properly that it is his weakness and if you miss getting the item, you’ll end up in a fight that you cannot win. 

I feel like I touched on a lot more criticisms towards the game rather than praise, but I’d also like to say that this game is still quite wonderful to play. If you aren’t aware, Nintendo used to have their own magazine called “Nintendo Power”, which talked about games to be released in the future and secrets for games that were out already, including The Legend of Zelda. These magazines actually helped a lot back then because of how cryptic the game was, leading those secrets to be spread by word of mouth to those who didn’t have access the magazine. It was so well spread that, before I even played the game, I was told about the secret of a burnable tree that held a heart container, many years after the game was released. I had managed to finish this game without a guide and I can’t deny that it was extremely satisfying to defeat Ganon and save Princess Zelda at the end of the game. Is this worth playing today - the answer is a definite yes. Is it worth finishing? That’s if you have a guide or if you really want to challenge yourself. It’s the best way to see where the spirit of The Legend of Zelda series started and how it evolved over time. It’s a game that somehow still stands the test of time. Having Breath of the Wild done a phenomenal job at revitalizing the old philosophy of it’s father game, I can’t wait to see where the series goes next. I leave you with the line that all who play this game will remember for the rest of their days.

“It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this.” - The old man as he gives you the wooden sword. 

[crispythefirehazard]

I want to use ever single one of these as an icon at some point and it feels wrong to not share them.

[seventeendeer]

Hey Sketcher! I don't have a tumblr account, but I've been following your blog for a while and I really appreciate the things you say and do here, thank you especially for being the catalyst for me to ditch cringe culture. On another note, I was wondering if you had any advice for getting over a funk when a Thing You Like ends?

aahh I’m so happy you like what I do, and I’m especially happy it’s helping you fight that menace! In the immortal words of Arin “Grump” Hanson: “Maybe enjoying things is better than not enjoying things.” Goes for every harmless activity and interest out there. Anyone who says otherwise, I will personally kick in the shins for you.

As for the A Thing Ending situation, I’m gonna take a wild guess and assume you’re and Adventure Zone fan. I’m not in that fandom myself, but I have heard the mournful cries of your kind from across the tumblr lands. I’m really sorry about your thing ending, but on the other hand, it sounds like it’s at least getting the grand finale it deserves!

I don’t really have a magic recipe for getting through it, but one thing I like to do is fanart and fanfic epilogues. If there are any loose ends left, you can tie them up yourself, but if there’s nothing to work with, just telling yourself happy stories about your favorite characters doing mundane stuff after their big adventure has ended is wonderful.

Even if you’re not really the creative type, making stuff up in your head can still be super fun, you don’t even have to get it down on paper.

Also, I think one important thing to remember is that the stories and the characters you love don’t have to leave you. They can still be with you in your mind and you can always go back and re-experience the thing you love so much whenever you want to. You don’t have to “move on from” your favorite things just because you don’t necessarily keep paying attention to them forever.

I have some fandoms I’ve left, but I also have ones that are always there with me, even many years after the story has ended and I’ve stopped talking about them regularly. Once in a while I’ll have a day, or even a week or a month, where I get momentarily obsessed with an old joy again and I’ll pay a ton of attention to it, and then after a while it sinks back into its little sofa chair in the back of my mind and just hangs out.

All the happy things you’ve experienced in your life are still there with you. The neat thing about stories is that not only are they still there, they can also always be picked back up again and dusted off and be loved just as vividly as they were before. Stories have no expiration date.

[crispythefirehazard]

The Game Grumps Mr. Wilson rap. There was an animation of this video and it was THE FUNNIEST animation I have seen. I'm just in hysterics