#are you sure you csnt make it in on Thursday
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#delete later#owowowow#ouchy#sitting upright yesterday has caused me. pain today. it feels swollen so im gonna have to ice it again. im also just annoyed today.#it endlessly pisses me off that shit is just. harder for me. and even extrs harder right now. im frustrated that im missing s fun thing#tomorrow and sm instead going to sit st home working in pain whilst all my coworkers go have fun. bc my fucking body#csnt hold itself together. i want to bake scones but i csnt go get ingredients. i cant stand to bake and even if i sit it'll be upright#so things will get inflamed anyway. im just frustrated and tired. the doctors are fucking up my blood tests AGAIN snd i need ti call and#dig out my old letters. but im stuck laid out on a sofa bored out of my skull#yesterday my manager was like#are you sure you csnt make it in on Thursday#and i was like well i cant get around my flat so. no#her response was#oh no are you okay to work today?#and i wanted to just yell WELL IM GOING TO HAVE TO BE ARENT I. ITS NOT LIKE THE WORLD STOPS EVERY TIME MY DISABILITY#DECIDES TO BE AN ASSHOLE. its just. so frustrating. like of course ill be fine. i have to be. fucking what other option do i have.#i could leave sll the work i have this week to you and lie down and cry. but st least this way i feel vaguely accomplished#and you aren't drowning in extra work#it just pissed me off. Im not expecting her to thank me for working. but im expecting her to believe me when i say im injured and can't do#something. im trying to be chill and nice but that really has frustrated me a lot. snd like ive frustrated her a bunch last month so its#probably karma. im just in pain and grumpy snd once sgain feeling that grief that my body is going to keep failing me in new ways#and all i can do is live with it.
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