#are you really just gonna take everything that's spoonfed to you?

[ralexsol]

wish there was a way to meet people who actually have similar general interests and enjoy taking part in those interests with other people

[oodlyenough]

aa3 trials and tribulations

alright after dragging my heels to get four months out of a idk 35 hour game i have finished aa3. spoilery thoughts mostly about the last case bc i played the others months ago fjglhgkf

Positive stuff:

FRANZISKA... my mvp... I loved Franziska after aa2 but she was so great here, everything I could've wanted from her lmao. My best worst girl. I LOVED having her hang out with Phoenix fhlgfhgklf incredible, showstopping, spectacular. Their dynamic is sooo much fun and I also really liked seeing her interact with the witnesses outside of the courtroom, and how she tries to establish her authority but uses that authority to try and comfort them, etc -- she gets mad at Phoenix when he isn't complimentary enough of Sister Bikini lol, she takes control of the sacred cavern situation, she bullies Edgeworth into selfcare garden sulking after the earthquake, etc. It was really interesting and kind of sweet, in her way, it was nice to see that side of her. I can easier see how she and Adrian ended up with their weird gay thing although I have to admit Franmaya remains my Franziska ship of choice. (Just yesterday I was telling someone "I want Franziska to show Maya how to use her whip"... so close and yet so far Capcom.)

Defense attorney Edgeworth was awesome what a fun idea, and the Edgeworth/Franziska court battle ruled. I think I talked about it a lot at the time so I won't dwell much but lmao. wonderful. you're both sooooo bonkers

The Fey family drama! Cool af! Love a matriarchal society of women murdering each other. Amazing. I was spoiled for bits and pieces but not for Misty, which was a great surprise, I had expected they'd just leave that thread hanging but resolving it was the correct choice. I also loved that this game gave a bit more of a nod to Mia. I had said in my previous reaction post that I loved Mia having her own lil Moriarty in Dahlia and their showdown was so fun. Get her ass Mia. Pull each other's hair in the afterlife.

The actual plot mystery stuff in this case was great. I was able to do 3-4 and 3-5 without any walkthrough help AND without banging my head into a wall, which really does make it more fun, lol. You feel clever for solving it without feeling like it's being spoonfed. Or at least I didn't feel it was spoonfed :P and I guessed wrong about some things.

I loved Dahlia LMAO she was fr on the stand like "Your honour I was born evil and I died evil and I'm still evil now. Peace". I sort of expected she'd have mixed emotions at least about Iris but uh nope. Choose a way to born: Evil Baby. You could probably say something about AA returning to these cartoonishly evil villains to smooth over any of the ethical quandaries probably but tbh for the most part I just find it fun. Whatever. Cant a girl have hobbies (poisoning, failure).

Less positive stuff:

I was surprised and disappointed to not get a send-off epilogue screen for Edgeworth or Franziska 😔 they just kind of disappeared in the back end of the case, and while I don't have an issue focusing on the Feys in the end, the Edgeworth/Franziska stuff felt a bit unresolved to me, to not even get a few lines when Oldbag and Larry do. I guess Capcom wants me to play AAI (... sort of. not enough to port it or translate it :P).

Two finale cases in a row shelved Maya for a considerable portion. She got much more to do here, in the end -- her as Nick's last witness was very good, and obv she's central to the whole case -- than in 2-4, but I still felt her absence.

And I do wish we'd gotten to see more of Edgeworth and Phoenix interacting - they're sort if implied to be spending time off screen but I would like to see it.jpeg, I thought he was gonna be a more active part of the case after trial day 1. Since AA1 it often feels like the game is juggling characters so I can have like, one fave with me at a time but not more lol. Rude.

The Iris/Phoenix stuff was 🙄 I realize it's futile to be mad about like, token heterosexuality in a 20+ year old video game, but 🙄 lol. Also naturally I spent most of the game believing Dahlia had grudgingly put up with Feenie while dreaming of murder for 8 months and that's so much funnier than the truth turned out to be, lmao. Her eternal torment.

I couldn't stand Godot lmao I didn't like him at the start of the game and by the end I hated him. His gimmick was boring to me at best, I found him deeply condescending and sexist in the case with Mia, and then obviously 3-5 just sent all of that overdrive. The upswing was that he was the killer so that was satisfying for me lmfao. Throw the book at him judge.

Overall:

I see why this is often called the best game. The overarching stories all tied together well, I can see how the cases of the week led into the finale even if I hated one of em (mask de masque do NOT interact), the puzzles are good while being solvable, and there are some really really great fun moments of character stuff in here for almost everyone.

Having said that, I think the first game is still my fave. Its comparatively limited scope meant each major character got their moment, Maya and Edgeworth are my besties and it's the only time I actually got to have both of them around at the same time. And Turnabout Goodbyes is just so good and so is Rise from the Ashes.

I'm sad the trilogy is over 😔 while I wait for 4-6 to get ported I'll play TGAA and AAI, but not sure in which order, and in either case I'm gonna miss my best friend Phoenix Wright. Luv u buddy

[tomscottsredshirt]

can i please have a story where he’s sick and we snuggle and i feed him homemade soup. ultra super mega fluff please 🥰

tom scott x gn reader - sickness, cuddles & homemade soup

"how am i gonna film like this?"

"you've been coughing all day, your temperature is through the roof, you've used up so many tissues you could fill up the house with them. the answer is, you won't."

tom lets out a defeated sigh, which just makes him cough again. it sounds dry and painful. you can't help but caress his cheek lovingly, noticing how hot his skin is.

"bloody hell. i have a flight next wednesday. i can't just cancel it."

he pulls the covers all the way up to his chin, trembling underneath. your expression turns soft, eyes full of worry for your boyfriend.

"i really wish i could make your cold go away, but i can't, tom. let's just hope you recover as fast as possible. i'll take good care of you."

"i know you will. thank you." his voice is hoarse and weak. he blows his nose for what feels like the millionth time.

"my head feels twice as heavy as it usually does. ugh."

your heart aches seeing him like this, but you know you're doing everything you can. cough medicine, ibuprofen, lots of tissues, hot tea and soup. still, you feel a little helpless. you look at his form underneath the covers, only his head peeking out, and you climb onto bed with him, lifting the sheets and wrapping your arms around his weak form.

"what are you doing? you'll get sick as well," he croaks.

"don't care. i want to hold you," you mutter with a smile, burying your face in the soft fabric of his grey hoodie. tom chuckles, gently wrapping an arm around you as you let your legs intertwine with his, wanting him as close as possible. you absentmindedly play with his hair, holding each other in comfortable silence. tom can hardly breathe through his blocked nose, though. you put the back of your hand against his forehead, a concerned look on your face as you feel his hot skin.

"gotta measure your temperature again," you mutter, mostly to yourself as you let go of tom's embrace to get the thermometer, gently placing it in his mouth. you sit next to him, rubbing his arm, trying to comfort him a little as you wait for the little beep. it reads 38.1, lower than it was this morning, which makes you feel just a little relieved. you press a kiss on the top of his head before making your way to the kitchen.

"where are you going?" tom asks with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"i'll make you some soup. you just rest, okay?"

putting on some light music, you wash, chop and boil vegetables in hot water, adding salt and preparing the chicken and noodles for a good old traditional remedy for tom's cold. he scrolls on his phone and pulls out a book to read until then, coughing and blowing his nose what feels like every two minutes.

the pleasant smell of boiling chicken soup fills the air. once it's done, you turn off the stove, pouring a portion into a bowl.

walking over to tom, you gingerly give him the bowl of soup on a tray, careful not to spill it in his lap. he looks at you lovingly, even more tired than usual, yet you still can't help admiring that pretty face of his, even when he's sweaty and sick. you're head over heels for the man, damn it. a cold won't change that.

"thank you," he whispers. you sit down next to him, taking a spoonful and gently raising it to his mouth. he doesn't have the energy to argue against being spoonfed, so he just goes along with it. he only finishes half the plate, and you can't really blame him; you don't really have the biggest appetite when your body is doing its best to fight against whatever nasty germs are attacking your immune system. gently stroking tom's hair, you put the plate aside and bring him into your arms again, showering him with little kisses wherever you can reach; his cheeks, jaw, forehead, nose, neck. all he does is giggle softly, flustered by the sudden attention.

"you know, i might be feeling better already."

[gossippool]

ur anora post 🔥🔥🔥

it was EXACTLY what I was thinking about the other day when I kept seeing the same discourse circulate over and over again. People love to complain about media being oversimplified nowadays, but when they watch an actual movie that forces them to understand subtext and read between the lines, they moan about it not being explorative enough and cry that it’s misogynistic so people will jump on the bandwagon and refuse to critically think because they’re scared to be accused of agreeing with misogyny.

like they genuinely talk like they’ve never seen a film before because it’s pretty common to not have exposition thrown in your face in well made movies? I watched Conclave recently and I could tell you even less about Ralph Fiennes’ character than I could about Ani, yet I haven’t seen one person say he ‘lacked interiority’. It was very clear in his performance just as it was in Mikey’s (it honestly just doesn’t sit right with me that the movies that have attracted the most discourse this year are the female led ones, whilst the male ones have Brat edits made and old man yaoi written about them…)

I’m pretty sure 1) it’s a 2024 favourite and people love to be contrarians 2) people hate Sean Baker and went into it already making up their minds that it was gonna be bad 3) the cast is full of unknowns (in Hollywood) and Mikey (who doesn’t have a huge fanbase) and so the hate is going unchecked and 4)it was marketed as a romcom when it’s clearly not that.

I honestly mostly despise that they’re hating on it in the name of feminism. It really rubs me the wrong way, especially when you see tweets like ‘only yt perverted men actually like this’ like they have some morally superiority over people who enjoyed it. And I wouldn’t be as frustrated about all of if it weren’t for the fact that 90% of the ‘critiques’ are literally just people disappointed it wasn’t what they wanted and acting like that’s a moral failing of the writing and performances. I fear media literacy really is dead and people think logging films on letterboxd suddenly makes you an expert in feminist theory in media.

Sorry for the rant but I’m just so glad to see people speaking sense!

no yeah and a huge part of it is that people are no longer challenging themselves past what they're interested in. she didn't say it outright but i have a friend who just doesn't like watching movies that... require critical thought?? 😭 like people are not actively seeking out new media, books, information etc. by themselves because everyone now is spoonfed or expects to be spoonfed. and this is not even just for interpretations of media but what you said about people hating sean baker because to them everything is black and white aka bad person = bad media, bad thing happens on screen = bad message--hence portrayal of the possible consequences of sex work on screen = misogyny???

(and ADJACENTLY. wow clearly i have a lot ot say about this topic but adjacently there is now this phenomenon /neg where someone will vaguely post about a celebrity being problematic and another person will comment "omg what did they do" and receive a completely biased/unnuanced summary of the situation which everyone will immediately accept?? like the number of "nooo i used to love them 😭😭"s i've seen over the years from this is batshit lmao and i have just as many times done my own research on what happened and realised it was really not that straightforward. and that's the problem right, people take everything they hear to be the truth. they don't pick up a book or show unless they've heard good reviews, and they're afraid to digest anything unpalatable)

and i could go on a whole other spiel on ai but the fact that we now have AI overviews for internet searches to further simplify what was already revolutionary in accessibility of information is fucking crazy to me!! and yeah ur so right the fact that there are now apps that make public everything you do people think increased consumption and the illusion of being an actual critic makes them smart

but like if people can't even see the nuances of a piece of entertainment god forbid they ever touch a news article or research paper 😂 misinformation and conspiracy theories etc. are literally a result of a lack of critical thought and also ego which should not go together but very much do nowadays. lmao

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

if we like take as givens that 1. it is incredibly annoying for everyone when people act like they literally cant think for themselves and 2. it is something that you eventually do just have to suck up and get over or else it will not change. it does kind of sit wrong with me when people act like the only cause of that is entitlement or something and therefore you shouldnt give that kind of mindset any sympathy.

like, i think this just continually plays out with new things people dislike every once in a while and this is just the newest one but i think it does maybe deserve some like, investigation how a lot of young adults especially ones like raised on social media are afraid or unable to decide or research shit for themselves because i Do not think most people are doing this out of like malicious displays of laziness or anything, i think the cultural era we're in like Actually is creating a huge amount of pressure to be afraid of doing things for yourself or expressing opinions you can't prove came from someone else and idk if its fair to expect everyone to be like Immune To Propaganda especially 16 year olds who havent talked to real fucking people in going on 3 years. like i dont know how unique my personal experience with this is bc i grew up in a very anti-science anti-mainstream-thought culture that really disadvantaged me here as well as growing up kind of textbook autistic and obviously that also led to people trying to fucking break me until i acted like they did, and thats another whole thing. but i think beyond that the paranoia culture happening right now is INSANE and thats like, internal pressure not to wrongthink in public as well as more pressure from authority figures and you add that to young adults who dont fucking go outside and are only given opportunities to express themselves and absorb other peoples expression thru algorithmic bullshit what do you THINK is gonna happen man..... like not to say you CANT be frustrated by people like that because i am also frustrated by it but that kind of fear is DIFFICULT to escape from even if you want to and understand that it makes you look like a fool. like ive been there and am there and it really sucks dude. i dont have a call to action or something just like, pls stop acting like this is some display of entitlement wanting everything spoonfed to you, because i know a lot of it is just fear

[isuspectyouhavefantheories]

The Crossroads to the Sun 🌞

Takemura/Female V

Rated: M for mature themes and explicit content NSFW 18s only

Trigger Warnings: Themes of death, suicide, gallows humour

Part 1 of ???? “The Sun Series”

Link to part two :

https://isuspectyouhavefantheories.tumblr.com/post/641314624666468353/search-for-the-sun

Will eventually be posted on my AO3 account when I get this beta’d. 🤟

———

She had decided she wanted to be away from night city when she pulled the plug. If anything, she wanted it to end under the blanket of the starry skies, part of her hoping they would guide her into the next world safely. Driving through the neon jungle felt like a technicolor funeral procession. Or perhaps a walk to the gallows? She was thankful she still had most of her senses as she pulled herself from her morbid reverie just in time to avoid a badly placed bollard on a sharp turn straight down the road heading towards the city limits. She swore under her breath but continued. The pain was dull, but festering in her mind, less so than before, but enough to keep reminding her of the internal ticking clock that was getting louder with each passing hour as it neared to zero. She breathed deeply though her nose and steeled herself. But more doubts began to drift through her, like a slick fog encircling her mind she thought of all the people she would be leaving behind and hoped they wouldn’t hate her after tonight.

Goro’s name flashed up on her biomon and it took her a minute to register. She nearly rear ended a truck at a traffic light before finally answering.

“Yes?”

“Where are you?” His voice was gruff, demanding and her eyebrow crinkled in irritation.

“What’s it to you?”

“Let me help you V. Just take the deal with Hanako, we make this right and you get back your life. If I were you, I would not waste the chance.”

“You mean you get back your life.” She spat, Takemura went quiet on the other end for a moment, his eyes flinching at her tone. “Don’t try and pretend this is concern for my well-being and as far as making this right goes... You really still think you and Arasaka can fix this? Goro I know when I’m beat. Nobody can fix this. I’m done for and it’s time I just fucking faced facts and made my peace. I’m done. I’m calling it.” She hadn’t realised how hard she was gripping the steering wheel until she felt the alloy begin to crunch lightly under her guerrilla cybernetics.

There was a long pause and she thought for a moment he had hung up until she heard the shuffling of erratic, hurried movement on the other end.

“Where are you V?” He demanded, his voice was direct, to the point, no room for nonsense, no room for anything but answers.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve left a data chip with Misty. It contains all the relevant evidence, via brain dance, you need to get the vindication you so desperately require.”

“V, tell me where you are right now. ” It was sharp this time.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help more. Goodbye, Goro. It was a pleasure to have known you.” She hung up and looked down at her phone, closing her eyes a moment only to be jolted by Takemura calling again. She took a deep breath before turning it off and throwing it in the passenger seat and popping into third gear as she trolled though the gates past the city limits to security. She was quickly flagged through with little bother from security. They seemed more interested in what was coming into the city that what was going out.

It took her an hour to get to where she needed to go. The edge of the badlands. The final touch stone before she headed further in, back to all she ever knew. Just another busted down prewar gas station covered in sand, nature already claiming back its land. She parked her car outside and managed to pry open the front door after digging some accumulated sand from the way.

—————

She woke to the whistling of the desert storm on the shutters, the dilapidated old outpost rocked shakily. She almost felt as if she was in the belly of a ship at sea being pulverised, to and fro, by an onslaught or roaring waves.

She sat up, listening to them a while, until eventually the weather died down to a gentle lulling breeze. She stepped outside for a moment and thanked whatever powers that were out there that the sky was clear enough to see the moon and a dim scattering of stars. She climbed from her make shift cot and stepped outside.

“Still think you made the right call? Those Saka assholes might have fixed you up all nice.” Johnny flashed back into her peripheral vision, sitting on a bench under a busted canopy with his guitar slung across his lap.

“I dunno. I guess we’ll see.”

“Val.”

She looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

“They were just going to extract you and dump me the moment it suited them. What, you think I was just gonna put my head in a hungry lions mouth and just hope everything would just sort itself out? For all I know they would have just cut me open the minute they got me up there. I’d rather die out here, on some dusty ass terra firma in the wastes than lose my mind up in some space prison.” She flipped out Evelyn’s cigarette case, only three left in place making her sigh before pulling out one and lighting it up.

Johnny groaned at the sensation of the nicotine flooding her system from her first drag. It had been a while since she’d allowed herself such little pleasures, but for the first time in months she wasn’t on deaths door, bringing death so someone else’s door or trying to kidnap an heiress, so exceptions can be made.

“Weather out here huh? Never notice it in the city but, fuck. Mother nature sure is a feisty broad.”

“You have no idea.” She chuckled.

“Pretty good we got here before the worst of of the storm hit earlier. I would not want to be the sorry sack of shit that had to drive through that.” Johnny chuckled.

—————————

It was about 5am, sun already shining and blistering the ground, she had scavenged a few things from the outpost to keep her and Johnny going long enough to get to the Aldecaldos

Or just long enough. The thought of kicking it just before saying goodbye to Panam and Saul and the others churned uncomfortably down into the pit of her stomach but she attempted to occupy her mind, busying herself with prep work and repairs on her gear. She was going to try at least.

Before she could think of the next task, Johnny materialised again, already on edge.

“Someone’s coming.”

“Raffen? Cops? Arasaka?”

“Can’t be sure. I’d get ready if I were you.” He was gone again, and all she could think to do was get back to the gas station and ready herself for the visitors.

A Herra Outlaw that looked as if the chemical desert had taken a shit on it, genuinely one of the most out of place thing she had ever seen in the badlands and that was saying something, pulled up with a soft screech as the brakes engaged and the engine shuttered off. The pop of the car door made her grip her baseball bat tighter as she edged closer to the door, so as to be on the hidden side when it opened.

The door flung open, nearly ramming her in the face had she not hugged the wall so closely, she held her breath as a darkened figure entered the room, but the rasping baritone that filled the air made her freeze.

“V?” Takemura’s voice cut through her and all she could do was stare in disbelief.

“What the fuck?”

He whipped around like lightening, his wild searching gaze landed on her and his eyebrows all but flew up into his hairline and his eyes widened in disbelief but seemed to relax after a moment, a wave of relief washing over his features as of up until this moment he had been in a panic.

It was all a blur, he pulled the rusted metal door closed, nearly wrenching the door off its screeching hinges before his arms suddenly reached for her. He pulled her forcefully into his chest into an embrace that should have shattered her spine with the implants this man had. The newly back online ones, she noted.

She scrunched her eyebrows incredulously at him when he pulled away, his fingers tracing down the length of her arms until they still rested on her shoulders as he continued to look at her as if he was afraid the moment he took his eyes off her she would disappear into thin air.

“What are you doing here?” She breathed, still struggling for air after the uncharacteristic ribsplitting hug.

He looked down now, almost sheepish in his manner but he did not waiver when he returned his gaze to her.

“Stopping you from making a foolish choice.”

She sighed deeply.

“And since when do you have any right to tell me what I can and can’t do?”

“I do not. But I can try at least to make you see reason.” He wasn’t budging, she wasn’t budging.

“Goro...” she pinched the bridge of her nose and temple in an attempt to quell the newly forming tension migraine.

“You could have your life back. You would be good as new, Arasaka would ensure it if you testify at the board meeting. Arasaka always rewards loyalty.”

“I know that’s some rhetoric you’ve been spoonfed your whole life but unfortunately I have a very different opinion on the subject of ‘who Arasaka serves’ and it most certainly isn’t people who have a history of stealing from them.” She dead panned, making Goro groan.

“If you would just listen to me you would know that is not the case. Hanako-sama has extended this life like to you V do not waste it.”

“I’ve been listening. And watching. From the very start. I’ve seen them from an angle you have yet to even comprehend and part of me fears even then you wouldn’t see the truth.”

“They are-.”

“Only in this for themselves. I won’t argue with you about this, there is nothing you can say that will change my mind. I’m not selling my souls to the fucking devil, man, I’m sorry but that’s how this situation feels to me. I know there is nothing anyone can do for me, not you, not Arasaka, not Hellman, not even Alt fucking Cunningham’s AI ghost from beyond the Blackwall knows how to undo this so fuck this. I refuse to spend the last days of my life scrambling for answers only to whither away to nothin and die anyway. I’m leaving this hellhole on my own fucking terms. So just let it go. Just forget about me and go back to your cushty little life as Arasaka’s cheerleader or body guard or whatever the fuck it is you do.”

She couldn’t remember how, but during the course of their verbal spat, he had pushed her against the adjacent wall from the door and upon hearing her retorts he snarled in frustration and slammed his hand into the wall beside her head, denting the already disintegrating plaster, sending a cloud of dust in the air around them. The pluming cloud fluttered and caught the small rays of morning light seeping through the crags and cracks in the windows and walls of the abandoned gas station. She managed to push him off with a forceful shove only to have him lunge back to her. His martial arts clashed with her own brand of badlands fist fighting. She was flexible, contorting her body out of his reach before rounding on him with a left hook followed by a hasty jab aimed for his face. Unfortunately, he had reach, countering her wild strikes with a wave of his arm and tugging her to him. She lifted her knee between them to vault herself from his grasp but lost her footing at the end and it took only a single low sweeping kick to her other leg that sent her off kilter, but Goro followed her to the ground where he pinned again, this time on the floor with both her hands above her in each of his. She struggled against his vice grip, twisting and squirming beneath him to roll him off but he refused to be moved barely even flinching as she thrashed beneath him, awaiting her to finally stop. She roared in frustration but refused to give up. If she couldn’t knock him with her strength then she could knock him with her words.

“Hanako knew!” She spat at him, the intensity of her glare ripping though him.

“Knew what?” He asked with narrowed eyes.

“She knew it was Yorinobu who murdered her father. She knew you were telling the truth, that you were being framed and she still let you go down. Then guess what the kicker here is?” She laughed bitterly. “Saburo’s not even dead. He’s being kept as an engram, he’s been planning something with Hanako this whole time and they were going to let you go down regardless!! They were going to discard you, who served them faithfully your whole life, for their own fucking agenda. So tell me, why you think for one fucking second that they will actually help me?” Takemura was quiet, his hold on her waining enough for her to flip them, her hands balled into his shirt begging him to look at her but it was as if something had been shattered in him. They both were panting from their verbal and martial exchange, but they were far from done.

He suddenly reached up, his hand cupping her cheek gently, tracing the cybernetics of her face with the tips of his fingers before pulling her down to him without warning, his lips finally met hers in a heated kiss.

She gasped into his mouth, giving him the chance to shove his tongue in to explore her. He didn’t know when he would get the chance, if he ever would again after this. But she had yet to bite his face off so he took that as a good sign. In fact she had nearly gone limp from the shock of his sudden advance. He pulled away slowly, his face still inches from hers but his eyes bored into hers with a renewed intensity.

She pulled her hand from his now loosened grip and reached down gently and placed a delicate hand on his cheek, only for him to lean into it with closed eyes. He pressed his own hand over hers and took a deep calming breath.

“Goro, look at me.”

His eyes opened again, staring down at her with so much hope yet one word from her could shatter him into a thousand shards. And fate was a cruel mistress.

“I’m going home.” He looked down at that, his brow tugged in an unreadable expression but she chased after his gaze and held his chin so he had no choice but to stare wordlessly at her.

“I’m going home. To the people I love. To say goodbye. And maybe... maybe, for once in my life just try to do some good in this world, not for eddies or cred or some fucking illusion of grandeur, but just to do something worthwhile. I want have something real. Before I... before I can’t anymore.” She stroked his cheekbone with the back of her knuckle. “I don’t expect you to understand. But it isn’t up for debate.” Not what he had wanted to hear, but the finality in her words left him no room to argue. And so he was then left to stare down the inevitable horribleness of a world with no V.

He rested his face in the crook of her neck, her soft sun kissed skin, slick with sweat from the desert heat.

“Then let me have this at least.” He whispered against her, causing her to shiver under the weight of his words.

He returned his lips to hers, an even more energised passion driving his need and to his surprise she returned it, hands cupping his face gently. She then pushed him back down on his back and dove back to his lips. He began unbuttoning and loosening her clothes as fast as his hands could allow him. He pulled off her tank top and stopped a moment to admire her perky little breasts before pulling her back to him and lavishing her chest adoringly with bites and kisses that made her mewl against him.

“You have been taunting me since the day we met. Not wearing anything but that tight blue netrunner suit.” He growled against her chest, biting at the underside of her breast, his eyes primal and burning hers with an unspoken need to be closer.

“I’m a net runner you gonk, ah-!” He bit a little harsher around her nipple at the comment but lapped at it gently afterwards. “I-it was for practicality’s sake.” She shivered against him.

“It was to torture me.” He chuckled.

He lifted them suddenly, his hands under her thighs again as he deposited her on a near by countertop, her legs wrapping around his hips as he ground himself desperately into her while trailing his lips from her ear lobe to her jugular and back before biting then tugging sharply causing her to yelp softly.

“Maybe a little.” She gasped, casting him a delighted grin which elicited a growl from deep within his chest. He leisurely ran his hands along the hem of her jeans, tugging at them slightly before slipping his hand down underneath to grab a handful of her ass, squeezing it appreciatively before moaning at how soft and pliant her skin was under the extra sensitive touch of his cybernetic hands. He allowed himself to become lost in her for a moment. Mapping her every contour in his mind, committing each breathless sound that fell from her lips to memory, savouring her sweet breath on his tongue and wondering if he would ever again taste something so perfect as her. He felt her pull away lightly, a few centimetres from his face to gasp for a breath and still his lips chased hers. It was as if she could read his mind sometimes, she was looking at him with those confounding purple eyes, her smile faltering as if she could see how banefully torn he was.

“This won’t change anything.” She whispered sadly against his lips .

His brow creased under the weight of his anguish, another growl, not so carnal as before but instead a roar of frustration and he attacked her body with a new found, punishing fervour. He pulled her up effortlessly once again and threw her into the cot, her body’s weight caused the springs to groan and he had managed to discard his shirt fully, then turned to her. She was now only in her underwear, her golden skin glistened in the low orange morning haze. Her body was lithe yet athletic, her skin tantalisingly smooth to the touch yet disturbed by stray scars scattered about her person. Her years of fighting for her survival in this hellscape had shaped her and moulded her into this picturesque model of strength and beauty. He kneeled before her, nipping his way down her navel to the hem of her panties that he then quickly slid off in one fluid motion. He dove between her legs, basking in the sweet gasps she made as he drove her wild with his tongue. Her hands twisted and twined themselves into his ebony and silver locks, pulling his bun loose to let his hair cascade down his shoulders, grazing her nails over his scalp delicately. He introduced a single finger to her and pumped deeply inside her yet at a controlled pace, eliciting another quivering gasp that made him smile against her.

“Goro...” the way her breathless lips formed around his name drove something in him. She was able to bring out the strangest and most wonderful of feelings in him.

He was sure from her cries she was nearing her climax and before she could taste the sweet precipice of her release, he rose up to kiss her. Her taste on his lips had a lewd yet arousing effect on her, but her climax, once so tantalisingly close was now receding and the heat biting and curling in her abdomen made her squirm against him. She pulled away after a moment and gasped a quick breath.

“You ass.” He pressed his face into her neck again and she felt the rumble of his chuckling. He continued to kiss her neck and his hands pinched and rolled her nipples in a torturously teasing manner. She writhed under him, a mewling mess.

“Stop teasing me.” She pleaded, her own hands cupping either side of his face to pull him from his ministrations on her neck that she was almost certain would be bruised to absolute fuck in the morning.

He nudged her legs to open and she obliged eagarly.

He teased her entrance lightly running his tip up and down coating himself in her essence before sliding steadily inside of her. He had to stop half way and swallowed a guttural moan. She was so tight. Like a warm vice pulling him further inside her and dragging him impossibly closer to her. Her legs had wrapped around his hips, her thighs quivering around his girth. He took another moment to make some experimental, shallow thrusts and groaned once more at how deliciously slick she was.

“Oh... V...” his forehead pressed against hers and his grip around her hips tightened.

“Don’t.... stop...” she was barely above a whisper, which made Goro want nothing more than for her to be louder.

He took this as his moment to flip her onto her stomach against the cot.

His right hand held both her arms behind her back, folded and solidly trapped there. His left hand was holding her hip, dragging down to guide her over his girth once again. He rather enjoyed the view of her at this angle, he was so lost in the way she bounced against him, the feeling of her walls rubbing so exquisitely against his length, that he was sure he wouldn’t last long. The thought of having their tryst cut so short however did not appeal to him, the feeling of being fully encased by her was so unequivocally amazing he never wanted it to stop, so he forced himself to slow down to a languid yet laborious pace, favouring drawn out leisurely strokes.

“Jesus Christ...” she gasped, arching her back in a way that made him want to go back to pounding her within an inch of her life but he was controlled, no foolish young man driven by a cardinal need, but a mature and tentative lover who wanted to make his partner see the stars before this was over.

He reached around, dragging his hands from the underside of her bellybutton to glide along her ribs, up and over her breast, giving it an appreciative squeeze before cradling her throat gently and turning her head to look back at him as much as she could in the position which granted wasn’t much. He leaned forward, still thrusting inside her at a restrained pace, and ravaged her neck, suckling the flesh at the junction of her shoulder and neck before trailing his bites to the underside of her jaw, then to her ear where he nibbled her lobe gently.

“Tell me what you want.” He breathed against her, the lewd sound of their bodies meeting in their primal dance and the soft gushes of wind rattling the shutters were all she could hear above their own crescendo of panting and haggard moans.

“Don’t... be a dick...” she gasped, earning her a sharp smack on her ass cheek.

“Tell me.” He thrust inside her, harder but not hard enough to satisfy her fully, leaving her trembling for more.

“Ah... fuck! Please...” she breathed, trying to shove her own hips back into his for more friction but his hand migrated back to her hips, a solid anchor, preventing her from getting her way.

“That’s not what I asked you.” She could hear the underlying cockiness in his tone and it pissed her off almost immediately.

How could this man illicit such polarising reactions from her, she thought. One moment she wanted him to bend her over a desk, the next she wanted to snap him in two. But the sentiment remained, she wanted him.

“Please... Goro... fuck me... harder...” he hummed in satisfaction and released her arms from his vice grip.

“Then I suggest you hold onto something.” He had leaned forward his lips against her ear, the vibrations of his bassy timbre tickled her in an irresistibly tantalising way.

But her inward musings came to a hault when he began his unforgiving pace, she could feel him hitting her cervix with every thrust and she cried out, hands barely holding on to the edge of the cot as her body rocked against the force of his hips.

His hand came down to tease her slit, circling her sensitive nub in a maddeningly delicious way that caused more mewls to erupt from her lips.

Goro stared down at her, enraptured by every twist and twitch she made. Her arching back defining her musculature and he’d be lying if he was doing any better than her right now. He was holding on for dear life, dragging this out for as long as he possibly could. But eventually, the warmth and curling in his abdomen could not be ignored and he quickened his circling around her clit to drive her to her end. She screamed softly into her hand as her release rolled over her in wave after wave, his continuing thrusts helping her ride out her climax to its fullest. He followed her soon after, nearly collapsing on her, his forehead resting between her shoulder blades as he struggled to regain his breathing. She recovered before Goro and pulled him further onto the cot where they crumbled into it. He curled around her, his arms pulling her flush against him as he savoured the feeling of her skin on his. He pressed his nose and lips to the top of her head, inhaling her scent deeply, attempting to sear these details into his mind for a later date. He tried his best to keep his eyes open, but she began to stroke his chest in a soothing circle, and before he knew it he was out like a light.

——————

He woke with a jolt, the room now completely darkened by the night and a sudden anxiety disquieted his mind. He reached for where V had been but his hand grabbed nothing but empty space.

“V?” He called, sitting up and listening for anything, then scanning the area. He could see from his thermal scan she had been gone from his side for nearly two hours.

He pulled himself up, dressing quickly and wrenching the front door open to see that her Thorton was gone, whatever tracks that were left had been swallowed by the desert wind and he stood in silence.

“This isn’t going to change anything.” Her words echoed in his mind and he clenched his hands into fists, a slight shake evident from his barely controlled emotions on the cusp of breaking through to the surface.

“They were going to discard you, who served them faithfully your whole life, for their own fucking agenda.”

He tried to quell his anger, his hurt, his inescapable feeling of betrayal. He fought to keep his composure but the memory of her touch was seared into his mind and body yet it did nothing but only make him ache to have her back in his arms. He would never feel that again, never experience that intense, intrinsic connection to another human being. The thought did nothing to disquiet his mind. Eventually he broke and turned to punch his hand nearly completely though the wall of the garage as he breathed in ragged and strangled chokes. Unshed tears burned in his eyes and he wrenched his arm back to completely break through the wall altogether with the force of his strike. He didn’t stop. He pummelled the wall until his cybernetics were scuffed and cracked. Warning signs flashed in his peripheral vision but he ignored them, slumping to the ground he cradled his head in his hands and roared in futility. He stayed there a moment, still, quiet and thoughtful. He raised his head with a thud against the nearly dilapidated wall and he looked off into the distance. On one path, the further reaches of the badlands, down another was the fluorescent and blinding lights of Night City, beaconing him back with a curled finger.

And not just night city, but the ominous red looming glow of Arasaka Headquarters illuminating the night and further banishing the stars. The only life he had ever known was within Arasaka’s ranks. All he had ever been was a vassal, a loyal one at that. Traded his life and limbs for them. Let them carve him into an instrument of their empire from the moment they had deigned to elevate him from the slums, only after he had skinned his fingers to the near bone scrubbing his clothes in the chemical sickened canals. He had given Arasaka his life.

Yet Hanako knew he was innocent. Not only her but Saburo, his lord tono, his idol. He had known. It stung him to his nucleus, like nothing ever had. He was stilled, inaction gripping him to his core. He found his gaze always defecting back to the badlands. To her lands. He didn’t make a choice so much as follow an instinct.

He rose from his seated position and opened the door to his car, looking back at Night City one last time, not saying goodbye to the city, but farewell to all the possibilities it held. They were not meant for him. A defiant grin stretched over his lips before a determination set in his eyes, looking back to the badlands. He dove into the front seat and revved the engine before backing out to the edge of the main road and quickly pivoting into position then tearing out onto the dusty highway, sending a plume of dust in his wake as he made for the badlands, his spirit lightened and rejuvenated. He undid his top shirt buttons, ripping off the front Arasaka logo to his cybernetic neck plates and throwing it with a quick flick out the car window, then looking down at the Arasaka patch logo on his arm which he also tore from his jacket then sent it too flying out the window. With each metre he put between him and the city, the younger he felt.

“I’m coming V.” He whispered under his breath as he pressed harder on the gas.

[rigelmejo]

My dudes wasabi Japanese is so cool this site is so cool literally my dream site ToT (thank u @yue-muffin for all those free reading links <3 which is what included wasabi Japanese)

I know what I’m doing after I finish reading Japanese in 30 Hours! (I might keep reading Reading Japanese for fun too just cause... I might as well we will See).

So like curse me if, when I say I will, it makes me not lol. I hope I DO actually do this. Because it sounds so much more clicks-with-me right now than my alternate study plan (which was Nukemarine memrise - which I WILL eventually do ToT I plan it ok, and tae Kim’s grammar guide - which I’m happy to replace with any grammar guide I’ll finish fucking reading tbh).

1. Remembered bilingualmanga exists and I am making no commitments to read anything (tho I have 4 mangas open and an urge to read them for the first time in years since I read yotsuba earlier and followed it). But I will say it’s quite cool I could um read and look words up (ditto for just regular iOS word lookup and Japanese scripts... I’d say ditto for Animelon too and I DO recommend it but I’m just not really an anime watcher).

2. Wasabi Japanese has a: a grammar guide. So my ass is gonna try reading it (in my defense it has audio which I find marginally nicer than the other sources I’ve been looking at... like I literally read Japanese in 30 Hours aloud audio helps me... also why I suspect in part Nukemarine’s decks help they make me listen a lot). https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-grammar/wasabis-online-japanese-grammar-reference/

3. Even better (to me) wasabi Japanese has b. A grammar drills lesson course that has you shadow and practice SENTENCE PATTERNS AND GRAMMAR. I was literally considering buying a Japanese shadowing textbook for just this purpose (but that textbook was random phrases whereas this is targeted sentence patterns). Also I learn best by just fucking seeing sentence patterns so I kind of suspect an activity like this would click with my brain better than actual grammar guide reading (tho grammar guide reading gives me a useful overview of what to start noticing). Like I literally own the book Japanese Sentence Patterns just cause it was the only thing that clicked... Bonuses about this lesson course wasabi Japanese has: it’s me Doing stuff, I learn best just Doing tbh (it’s why just brute force reading clicks well with me lol). And better, Doing stuff in a streamlined way so I can not bumble as long lol and I have reference if I’m confused (Also why I like graded readers). Info: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/how-to-proceed-with-the-instantaneous-composition-method/ The lessons: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/materials-for-japanese-lessons-intensive-reading/

4. Wasabi Japanese has lessons through stories, listening reading and shadowing. Phenomenal. Both the perfect chance to test if Listening Reading works some more (which I’m currently into), and to actually DO some things I wanna do like read and practice listening (versus Nukemarines memrise courses which are just flashcards, or playing Japanese video games which is... doable but too draining to be enjoyable or efficient yet). I’m excited. How to use: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/japanese-lessons-how-to-proceed-with-read-aloud-method/ Actual lessons:. https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/fairy-tales-and-short-stories-with-easy-japanese/

5. Assuming you’re better at Japanese than me - wonderfully wasabi Japanese has a course I could use, right after finishing that last one, at a slightly more difficult level, with manga: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/materials-for-japanese-lessons-intensive-reading/

6. Alternatively, want a different N3 course that’s radio program based? Here it is: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/materials-for-japanese-lessons-read-aloud-method/ so yeah, wasabi Japanese looks like a quite nice alternative to flashcards or a textbook if a babe just wants to learn from stories with audio for a while ToT

7. Also I am again contemplating the benefit of just playing audio in the background more. Will I do it? I don’t know. I’d love to play SpoonFed Chinese audio, Japaneseaudiolessons, and Japanese core 2k audio on in the background. As it’s all comprehensible input I know I’d mostly pickup if I just heard it enough to Review it (whereas rn I just hear each audio file once ever on a walk then never again cause I have little time for focused audio only listening). But I feel bad when I play them in the bg and don’t fully listen ;-;. Ah the dilemma. Truly though they’d help so much if I played them in the background I know it... as of this month as an experiment since reading The Word Brain, I’ve been listening to SOME Chinese audio more. Specifically Guardians audiobook, a random Chinese hp audiobook, Alice in wonderland audiobook, silent reading audiobook. You would not believe how much it’s been noticeably helping. Usually it’s avenuex’s Guardian audiobook and every time I catch a bit of it casually in the bg while working, I’m blown away I understand clearly what I didn’t the time before. In particular I’m probably having the most improvements in this novels comprehension, since I’m Listen Reading Method with it too. But like... the first time I focused listened to it during L R? I caught everything with difficulty during the only-chinese audio but English text step 3. And then listening alone only caught the main story beats/scenes (which was already a major improvement for me). Now when working I can actually catch the paragraphs about Guo Changcheng’s family, his uncle, going to McDonald’s - these are details I very specifically remember being the ones I could NOT catch doing listening only the first time post L R. So after idk 3-6 listening of this chapter, just listening again in the background (since L R takes too much time I’m lazy I only do L R once), I’ve made this much progress. I only saw the full definition of everything ONCE one time during L R step 3 once. But just listening more I catch more and more. And of course, as I catch more the unclear parts become easier and easier to maybe figure out. All I know is I severely underestimated the benefit of repeated listening - at least when (at one point once) you comprehended the material. So considering this... I think now with hindsight, yes listening to condensed audio of a show or just a show, that you’ve seen before with English subs/dual subs/in target language and looked unknown words up, in the background probably could help. If at one point you comprehended it before. (So for me Guardian cdrama is hella on this list lol). With hindsight yeah, repeated audio of an audiobook chapter or audio drama you followed the target language subs for before, or that you could read but not hear alone, would probably help listening skills. Definitely my audio flashcard files where they’re literally Built to be comprehensible since it’s English then target language each line. So... yeah in hindsight more audio, even background audio, can help. Guarantee when I’m not L R with the guardian audiobook I’m barely even listening. And still I find myself catching parts of it.

8. My roommate got too excited about Final Fantasy 14 and informed me it’s free to play now.. which I didn’t know. So of course I foolishly looked up if I could play it in Japanese on a PlayStation and looks like answer is probably yes and I am sorely tempted...

9. It’s gonna be wild for me looking back on may progress at the end of the month because: I did almost nothing I planned, I got demotivated then intensely motivated, I’ve done a ton ToT, I also did a ton of Japanese immersion which?? I’m not even counting?? I don’t track my Japanese immersion yet because like... it’s not my priority right now. I read a ton of manhua the other day and just forgot to log it. I watched some of the woh concert and just did not count it, I read a surprising amount of Japanese this month for someone “not studying it much” yet (aka maybe more than I read last time I studied Japanese??). I did a lot of L R method I didn’t even track, I did a ton of background listening and I’m not tracking just hoping for the best. Did I finish 小王子 this month or last month? Whatever month that was I read like 4 Chinese books. I just remembered I read like 3 Japanese graded readers but didn’t count them cause they felt too simple to count (only 28 pages each). I watched 10 Cure Dolly Japanese grammar vids tho not sure how much help it is long term. Whatever time I did the Japanese video games had to count for something even tho it was draining af. Anyway my point is just... count on me to not do what I planned but be more productive when I do that. All that said: I’m more productive when I set plans even if they aren’t always followed, so I’ll keep making them lol. I think I just needed to hit that turning point of “do anything you want, just continue to do something” instead of “complete this first!” (Although I’m still aiming to complete things - or at least go for progressively challenging things). I dunno... I want to say I want to consider just trying to finish things imperfectly just finish them (to motivate me to finish my Hanzi books, Japanese books, courses I find). But knowing me.. I have no idea what will get me to keep going. Just need to remember it’s ok to do it imperfectly. Just need to remember to place what I will care about and actually do, as priority over what it is I think “must be fully done.”

[katzkinder]

Ch 97 Spoilers

Fuuuuck, this chapter was everything I could have ever asked for and HOO BOY.

Kuro has come such a long way. He’s talking so freely about his own experiences here, trying his best to comfort Mahiru even if he’s running blind with it. That's so massive for him, who hides all his pain and suffering like the cat he turns into

like he's not outright saying that he's drawing from his past, but anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows exactly what he's referring to when he says "place your family first" and "making the most wrong decisions," especially with the way their exchange doesn't just mirror Mahiru helping him confront his regret in words, but also in physical actions

and i like that we're not being spoonfed that info

also, just... We're finally getting into the meat of Mahiru's issues that have been hinted at but never addressed directly. Those flashbacks hit hard. That tiny hand, so small and fragile... Mahiru eagerly waiting for someone to come through that door, all alone in the dark.

Kuro is also starting to see what we, the audience, have been given morsels and hints about, putting together the pieces about how not okay Mahiru actually is. He’s not the perfect savior everyone seems to think he is. He’s a scared kid.

I really like the way Strike has set Mahiru up, because it takes the trope of “boring normal person amasses supernatural harem” and flips it on its head. This is someone you can actually see yourself believing that, despite how normal he is, he can attract the attention of a lot of different people.

Mahiru has a lot of substance to him that many “normal joe” protags lack. His lack of defining traits makes him easy to overlook, but damn, once you get past that... His struggles and his fears, his issues, are all very normal, very basic...

But they hit every human deep

The fear of being alone

Everything about Mahiru, from how he approaches people, to his many skills, to the way he talks about himself... It’s designed to ensure that he is needed, that he is wanted.

Even though he's surrounded... He can't seem to accept that if something happens to Tooru, he will have so many places to go.

--because not even his own family wanted him. Tooru... Was the only one who said "come with me. I'll take care of you"

Kids aren't deaf. He would have heard the whispers of adults at his mother’s wake, all coming up with excuses and trying to push him off onto someone else. 

That experience... Would have left a mark on him.

--this is gonna lead to a mahi headcanon dump, isn’t it?

[firelxdykatara]

I think if fiction didn’t matter we wouldn’t be rallying for better representation. But at the same time, there’s plenty of fiction that so clearly doesn’t try to impose a moral. Are you of the opinion that any fiction that displays objectively horrible things in a gratifying lense should be banned? Would you call people who liked the saw films monsters? What about first person shooter games? Any porn that features power imbalances as a kink?

Short answer, to all of those questions: No. Absolutely not.

But of course, as it’s me, have a much longer answer:

Here’s the thing that the ‘FICTION AFFECTS REALITY’/’IF YOU LIKE DARKFIC YOU’RE A MONSTER’ crowd fails to realize: when we say ‘fiction is not reality’ we are not saying ‘fiction doesn’t matter’ or ‘fiction has no affect on reality whatsoever’. What we are saying is that fiction does not have a direct, 1:1 affect on reality. ‘Normal’ people will NEVER read a piece of fiction and suddenly become a pedophile. Normal people will not read a piece of fiction and forget about boundaries. Normal people will not read a piece of fiction and suddenly think that societal taboos which used to disgust them are A-OK and then try to enact them in their real lives.

Antis really love to cite the Jaws Effect when talking about how fiction affects reality, but they miss one crucial point--Jaws was playing on the pre-existing fears of the movie-going public. (And also the fact that Jaws had millions of viewers worldwide and reached a far greater audience, and therefore had far greater impact, than some niche darkfic on ao3 ever will.) It’s the same argument that’s been trotted out again and again by the ‘violent video games turn normal happy kids into school shooters’ crowd. Can playing violent video games temporarily heighten someone’s aggression/make someone already prone to violence even more aggressive? Sure. Will playing violent video games (or watching/reading violent media) make someone with a normally healthy emotional responses to stimuli suddenly become a violent person? Absolutely not.

Like, I love games like Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey. I love slipping into Ancient Greece and running around, merrily hacking and slashing my way through Athenians and Spartans. I’ve never once gotten the urge to pick up a sword and go outside and start sticking it in people. I know plenty of people who love Grand Theft Auto and don’t have a violent bone in their body. I greatly enjoy taking head shots as a sniper in Mass Effect, but I’ve never picked up a high-powered rifle in my life. (I go to the shooting range sometimes, with my grandad’s old .22, but I certainly have never wanted to shoot anyone with it.) My taste for video game violence has never translated to my reactions or interactions with other people in real life. Because I’m not a violent person, and while I can’t say I’m mentally healthy, I can say that I’ve never wanted to hurt other people. (And I have one of those ‘scary’ mental illnesses that get demonized all the time in popular media.)

So like, here’s the thing: first of all, the argument that video game or media violence (or abuse, rape, incest, pedophilia, etc) creates violence (or etc) in otherwise normal people is absolute bullshit. You may hear antis trotting out the Slenderman killings as another example, but they again fail to take into account that even if the game was the trigger, it was not the cause, and if it hadn’t existed, something else would have set them off. (And that was 2 people out of the, I’m gonna guess, millions of people who’ve played the game or watched let’s plays or whatever else. Not exactly terrifying odds.)

Secondly, you have to remember that while fiction and reality do have a relationship and do have an affect on one another, that affect is far more noticeable from the other direction. Fiction informs reality--it is often a direct reflection of it. This is why Greek tragedies became so popular--because people saw in them the human condition, in all its ugliest parts, and found extreme catharsis in watching it unfold. And this is part of why, yes, representation is so important--because, right now, most fiction is not an accurate reflection of reality, and that creates an unbalanced dynamic that’s going to take a very long time to fix.

Which leads to my final point, that is most often overlooked by antis who insist that fiction cannot be separated from reality: mass media reaches a far greater audience than fanfiction. Yes, it’s bad that so much of Hollywood fare is white--because Hollywood has reach. Billions of people tune in to watch the latest blockbuster. Your average niche darkfic on ao3 will never reach that kind of audience, not in a million years. The effect of that reach is simply not comparable. If someone who is already prone to violence plays a game or watches a movie or tv show that glorifies it, sure, it may heighten their violent response, but that’s because it’s playing on something that’s already there. The fiction itself is not to blame for whatever the person who viewed it chooses to do.

One last thing, since this is something that I feel doesn’t get mentioned enough in these debates: if you’ve been following me long enough, you’ll probably have seen me rag on Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey. I hate both of those series’ with a burning passion. I think they’re badly written tripe, one of which began as fanfic of badly written tripe (and if 50sog had languished in the annals of internet obscurity as Master of the Universe and not become a multi-million dollar hit, I’d probably never have heard of it--again, the difference in reach between niche fanfic and a mass media sensation), and I hate the way the abusive relationships in both of them are glorified. I think the ‘themes’ Twilight spoonfed preteen girls who ate it up are harmful. I think the racism involved in its depiction of the Quileute tribe was despicable. I think everything 50sog had to say about BDSM and the kink community is horrific, and deserves to be called out.

But you know what else these books did?

They started conversations. Conversations that may not have happened to such a wide degree had these books not become famous. (Not that I’m saying it’d be any great loss if they’d never seen the light of day, but hey, they did, and we have to live with the fallout, so at least something good came out of it.) Conversations that desperately needed to be had--about red flags in abusive relationships, about what is ok and not ok to do or say to your partner, about what consent is and what healthy relationships are, and what a healthy BDSM/kink relationship should look like. (I swear to the gods if any anti kinksters start crawling all over this post, I will eat their toes. Stay out of consenting adults’ bedrooms for the love of all that is fucking holy.) Conversations about safe words and how to use them, and how it is always ok to use them please dear lord do not let things progress past the point of your comfort. Conversations about the real life Quileute tribe who has been trying for years to talk about the realities of tribal life, which were so butchered by Twilight, but that hopefully brought more awareness and helped show what not to do when you’re incorporating a real life culture into your work.

These are important conversations, which may not have been had to the widespread degree that they were and are were it not for the cultural phenomena that sparked them. So no, I don’t think it’s wrong to point out if an author is, for instance, glorifying harmful things in their works--however, I do think that the reach of the work in question matters. If you’re targeting a work with a few thousand hits at most, ask yourself: why? Why this work, and not an actual cultural powerhouse like, say, Game of Thrones, which features such hits as the showrunners openly admitting they waited for a teenage actress to turn 18 so they could film a scene where her character is brutally raped on screen? Why is it so important to draw attention to some niche work of darkfic (especially if it’s properly tagged so that it can be avoided by anyone to whom it would be harmful; and by the way, these tags don’t exist for things like, oh, VC Andrews novels, which any kid can pick up in a library without warning; I think that even a glorified/romanticized rape scene that is tagged as rape on ao3 is less harmful than similar themes occurring without warning in a book I picked up because it had pretty flowers on the cover), when you can easily find the exact same things in published, popular fiction?

Just something to think about, before trying to insist that fanfics that reach an audience of a few thousand at most are anywhere on the level of ‘affecting reality’ the same way that mass media that reaches billions is capable of.

[perspective-series]

Injured Perspective (9/12)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Unwanted medication

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

————————————————————————————-

 “Logan, I’m back. And I have dinner.” He said gently as he entered the room. He ended up heating up the soup from earlier, not wanting it to go to waste. He set it down on the desk and gave Logan a smile as he peeked into the box.

Logan didn’t bother acknowledging the human, staring resolutely at a corner of the box.

 Patton sighed. This silent treatment was becoming a regular occurrence. “Please, don’t be like that Logan…”

Logan shifted further, turning his back to the human.

 Patton sighed but went ahead and scooped the little guy into his hands. “Will you at least tell me how you’re feeling?”

Logan shivered, unnerved by the sudden contact as well as the chill evening air. Still he kept his lips sealed.

 Patton sighed. Guess he would be having to do it the hard way again. He gently pressed his thumb on Logan’s forehead, feeling to see how warm it was. It had actually gotten much cooler, which Patton smiled at. “Looks like your fever is almost all the way down.”

“Don’t touch me.” Logan muttered half-heartedly, not bothering to lean back. He knew what would happen, Patton would just touch him anyways.

 “Aww, kiddo, it’s alright.” Patton said with a soft smile but he sighed. Why couldn’t Logan see that he was just trying to help him?

 Gently, Patton scooped Logan up so he was sitting in his cupped palm. “Let’s get some food in you, yeah?” He grabbed the spoon and started to scoop some soup into it.

“Don’t.” Logan shook his head softly, squeezing his eyes shut.

 Patton brought the spoon up to Logan’s face. “Open wide.”

Logan shook his head further, leaning away.

 Patton sighed, pushing the spoon a little closer. “Logan, please.” The little guy needed to eat something.

No. Logan wanted to protest aloud, but he worried that if he did the spoon would just get shoved in his mouth.

It was so...unfair. Logan could not do anything to stop Patton’s advances. He was helpless to the human’s ‘care’. Logan was already weak from his illness and now he felt more disadvantaged than ever before. The borrower was able to do nothing to direct his own life.

Logan’s eyes began to leak, the frustration of everything beginning to surface.

 Patton noticed the tears starting to run down Logan’s cheeks and his eyes went wide, he put down the spoon and held Logan a little closer. “No, no, hey, please don’t cry. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Patton asked, concern clear in his voice and eyes.

“I do not cry.” Logan quickly wiped at his eyes, knowing it certainly would not help him if the human pitied him more. “And of course I am not alright! I am being held captive by a human who is treating me like an incompetent child.”

 Patton’s eyes widened. “I-I’m just trying to take care of you because you’re sick!” He exclaimed. “I-I just want to help you get better.”

“I do not need assistance!” Logan insisted. “And I certainly don’t need to be coddled and spoonfed and pitied.”

 “W-Well it sure looked like you needed help when I found you the other night. Practically delirious on my kitchen counter.” Patton said, biting his lip. “You can’t tell me you were in the right state to go back to wherever you lived.”

“I was plenty capable of returning home.” Logan glared. “And Virgil was back there to help me.”

 Patton hummed. “Where...do you live?” Patton asked.

“....nearby.” Logan knew to be cryptic, for surely Patton would go after his home if given that knowledge.

 “Well, I figured that...I did find you on my counter after all…”Patton sighed. “Look, there has to be something I can do to make this better for you. Because I do still think this is for the best.”

“Exactly. That is what you think.” Logan pointed out. “You keep speaking as though you want what is most suitable for my needs yet you refuse to listen to my own ideals.”

 “Because I do. And all you’ve been saying is to let you go but you’re getting better aren’t you? My way is working.” Patton tried.

“No, my internal processes are working.” Logan argued. “My body is healing on its own with no assistance from you. Quite the opposite, in fact. This constant stress is not helping.”

 Patton deflated a little. “That...That can’t be true. What about the cool towel and the soup? That’s been working great on you, right? And I was going to get you some medicine here soon too.” Patton revealed.

“I do not require any of your human devices.” Logan countered. “Anything you supplied I could have supplied myself.”

 “Well, not with how sick you were.” Patton said, remembering how Logan had been.

“Then I would have asked Virgil for help.” Logan huffed. “Regardless, I would manage.”

 “But...how would I know if you really are okay?” Patton asked. He cared about Logan, he didn’t just want to up and forget him. He would worry too much to just forget.

“I would be fine, but regardless that is none of your business.” Logan narrowed his gaze.

 “Maybe it wasn’t before but it is now.” Patton frowned sadly. “I can’t just let you go not knowing if you really were okay or not.”

“It is only your business because you have made it your business to be in my business.”  Logan spat.

 “...I was just trying to help.” Patton mumbled. “I couldn’t just leave you like that.”

“You can help by releasing me.” Logan countered.

 “I really don’t think that would be very helpful…” Patton said, looking away from Logan. 

“Why not?” Logan pressed. “Give me one good reason, a truly logical one past your preconceived notion of knowing what is ‘best’,” Logan threw up air quotes around the word ‘best’, “and...I will agree to stay.”

 “Okay, well um…” Patton racked his brain. “You need medicine. Regularly. I know your fever is going down and that’s great but it’s been about the same for a while and the only way it will get any better is with regular doses of medicine. But...you don’t have access to medicine. And if you do, you don’t know which kind you should take or how much you should give yourself. But I can. If you stay, you’ll get better quicker just with the medicine I can provide alone.” Patton explained.

“A borrower does not require medicine.” Logan argued. “None of us have ever required it in the past.” Of course, it would have been useful, but Logan was not willing to admit that point right now.

 “Well...have you ever been this sick before?” Patton asked.

“...no.” Logan admitted. Truly, he had never been sick for this long. It was beginning to worry him, but he had much larger concerns at the moment. Concerns of a human nature, to be specific.

 “See! You didn’t need medicine before because those were minor illnesses. I’m sorry to say but this seems a lot worse and it won’t just get better with rest and soup. I only waited so long to give you some to make sure you were a bit better and wouldn’t throw it up.” Patton continued to explain. He needed Logan to see that staying with him was for the better.

“Fine, I will take your medicine.” Logan conceded, hoping it would not be poisonous. “And when it does nothing to improve my state, will you release me to heal in my own manner?’

 “Deal but if it does, and I know it will, you have to stay.” Patton said back, grinning wide.

“I will stay long enough to obtain this medicine.” Logan corrected. 

 “And get all the way better.” Patton added.

“...and then what?” Logan asked, now curious. “What do you plan to do with me then?”

 “Oh, well, we can...we can cross that bridge when we come to it! We really should be focusing on getting you better first, though. Let me go get some medicine for you!” He placed Logan back in the box and ran to the kitchen to grab said medicine.

Logan did not find Patton’s answer reassuring. Quite the contrary, in fact. Of course that was also to be expected. Logan was a fool for even considering the possibility of a human who would let him go willingly, no matter what Virgil claimed.

 It took a little while for Patton to crush the pill and figure out how much to give to Logan but he needed to take the precaution or else it could hurt the borrower. He was confident about the end product though and so he took the small bit of crushed pill and a cap full of water and took it to Logan.

 “Alright Lo, I’m gonna need you to take this with some water.” He held out a spoon with the dot of crushed pill on it as he set the cap of water down next to Logan.

“Why do I consume it with water?” Logan asked, hesitantly grabbing the substance in his hand.

 “It helps it to go down better. And since I crushed it up, it’ll taste pretty powdery, so some water to get the taste out of your mouth as well.” Patton explained.

Logan followed the strange instructions, gagging a bit on the strange substance as he quickly took a gulp of water. The mixture washed down his throat.

 “There we go! Now it should take a half hour, to an hour to kick in. Don’t be scared if you feel sleepy or a bit loopy either. That’s just one of the affects.” Patton explained, taking the spoon and cap back once Logan was done with them.

“Medicine has side effects?” Logan repeated, feeling his heart rate pick up at this added tidbit of information. “How is a substance that will render me incapable useful in any way? You were just attempting to sedate me!” 

 “Huh? N-No!” Patton raised his hands in surrender. “The side effects aren’t...always good but it means that the medicine is in you and working to get rid of your sickness.” Patton explained. “And the sleep affect it has is actually there to help you rest in order to get better even sooner.”

“So it is a sedative.” Logan frowned. “But...a sedative with purpose.”

 “Exactly!” Patton said with a grin. 

“How...how long did you say it took to…?” Logan twirled his fingers around his head. He was beginning to feel a bit...fuzzy. Similar to when his fever was at its peak.

 Patton frowned. “Are you already feeling it? That’s weird...maybe it’s because you’re smaller it kicks in faster?”

“I feel funny.” Logan mumbled, slowly sitting down. “The medicine is in my brain.”

 “I mean, I guess that’s...half true?” Patton said after thinking about it for a moment. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You just need to lay down and rest. Let it go through your system.”

“I’m feeling tired.” Logan gave a large yawn, stretching his arms up as far as they could reach. “It’s the seda...sementa...sedadaditive.” Logan mumbled the last bit, trying to get his tongue to cooperate and say actual words.

 “Aww,” Patton couldn’t help but coo. “Shh, just get some sleep, okay?” Patton said, reaching down and gently petting Logan’s head.

“I can’t sleep.” Logan spoke stubbornly, a pout on his face. For once he did not try to dodge away from Patton’s touch. “I gotta stay guarded.”

 “I’ll protect you, you’ll be perfectly safe.” Patton promised, continuing to pet Logan head.

“I don’t trust you.” Logan softly admitted.

 Patton felt his heart break at that. “I...I know.” He said with a sigh. “But I will keep you safe. I just want to see you get better, Logan.”

“I know.” Logan subconsciously leaned into the touch, looking up at Patton. Perhaps it was the medicine, but Logan truly believed Patton would not harm him. The human had done nothing to indicate otherwise, strangely enough.

“But you also want to keep me.” Logan shook his head sadly. “And I don’t want to be kept.”

 Patton’s eyes widened. “O-Oh…” He bit his lip. “Logan, I…” He trailed off, sighing. Now was not the time to try and convince Logan he could have a better life here with him. He’d wait until he was better and less...loopy. “Get some rest, bud.” 

“I am not bud.” Logan frowned. “I am Logan.”

 Patton chuckled. “Sorry. Get some rest, Logan.” He repeated.

“I’m going to get some rest now.” Logan declared, seeming to not have heard Patton’s statement. He laid down on the blanket, out within moments.

 Patton finally took his hand back and looked at Logan softly. He sighed before going to get ready for bed himself.

---------------------------------------------

 “I think it’s late enough.” Virgil said, seeing the sun set through the window. “Patton should be asleep soon.”

“Hmm?” Roman glanced out the window, almost forgetting why they were waiting around. “...oh. Right.”

 “Yeah, so…” Virgil shifted on his feet. “I guess this is...goodbye?”

“I guess so.” Roman took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh before sticking his hand out. “Goodbye, Virgil. I hope this isn’t the last time we see each other.”

 Virgil reached out and shook one of Roman’s fingers. “...Yeah.” Honestly, he was kind of hoping the same thing, even though he knew it couldn’t happen.

 “Bye, Roman.” And with that he climbed down the nightstand and ran back into the walls.

Roman laid back in his bed, staring out the window as the sky slowly faded between colors. He wondered if Virgil would be making another appearance tonight, or if he truly would succeed in rescuing Logan.

 Virgil made it to Patton’s bedroom about two hours later. He scanned the room, seeing that Patton was in bed and asleep. Grinning, Virgil got started on the hard climb up the desk without his hook. He managed though, and was able to pull himself up. 

 After another quick glance at Patton, Virgil was glad to see his hook still sitting on the desk. He grabbed it and did as before. Swinging it into the box and climbing inside. He saw Logan there, asleep. He went over and gently shook him. “Logan? Wake up.” He said quietly, hoping the human wouldn’t hear him.

“Wha-?” Logan let out a groan, blinking blearily. “Virgil!” Logan threw his arms around Virgil, exclaiming joyously. “You came!”

 “Shh!” Virgil hissed. “Yeah, of course I did. Now come on, before Patton wakes up.” He helped Logan to a stand.

“Oh, right.” Logan put a finger to his lips, leaning on Virgil heavily. “I apologize Virgil. I have been medicated.”

 Virgil paused. “Wait, what?” He held Logan’s weight, realizing he was acting way different than normal.

“I am getting better by getting worse.” Logan explained. “I have been given medicine, it makes me very sleepy and sedimantieated.”

 Virgil blinked. “Medicine did this to you?” Roman hadn’t said anything about this happening. “Okay, well, just hang in there. We gotta get going.” He led Logan over to the hook. “Can you climb?”

“I don’t- I think-” Logan paused, his face scrunching up. A moment later he released a large sneeze, the majority of which ended up in Virgil’s face.

 “Agh, gross!” Virgil wiped his face off with his sleeve but then froze when he heard the bed creak. Nothing happened for a moment and Virgil thought they were in the clear.

 But then the light turned on.

 “Logan?” A tired voice spoke. “You okay?” Patton looked into the box, eyes going wide when he saw, for the third time, Virgil.

 “...Crap.” Virgil muttered.

“Apologies for sneezing on you.” Logan muttered, wiping at his nose before hugging Virgil tighter like a child.

 Patton sighed and gently reached down, tearing Virgil away from Logan. “Hey! Let me go!” Patton shushed him gently and then nudged Logan back to his little nest to sleep.

 “Go back to sleep Logan, it’s okay.” Patton spoke softly.

“No, I want Virgil back.” Logan pouted, reaching up his arms. “I miss him. We can be safe together.”

 “I know but you’re sick. And you don’t want to get Virgil sick, right?” Patton asked. Virgil shifted in the grip, not believing he was caught a third time, what the heck!?

“He can have medicine as well.” Logan argued. “He will not get sick.”

 “I can’t give him medicine unless he’s already sick or he could get sick.” Patton explained. “Just get some rest, Lo. I’ll be right back.” He started to leave the room with Virgil but paused. “Actually….hold on.”

 Patton searched through his closest and Virgil was wondering what he was doing. He just wanted to go back to Roman already, when Patton pulled out another box. “Here we go!” Before Virgil knew it, he was placed inside the box. “Now you won’t be able to escape anymore.”

 Virgil grit his teeth but bit his tongue. It was useless fighting with Patton about this. He could just wait for Roman to take him out.

 Carrying the box, Patton made his way back up to Roman’s place and into his room. He gently opened the door, seeing that Roman was sound asleep. Not wanting to wake him, Patton set the box on the nightstand. “Goodnight, kiddo.” He said, before leaving.

 Virgil huffed. He waited until he heard the front door close before cupping his hands. “Roman!”

There was a loud shifting of blankets, but rather than waking up Roman began to snore.

 Virgil blinked. “Roman!” He said shouted again.

Once again, nothing but snores.

 “You have got to be kidding me.” Virgil said before collapsing onto his back. So Roman was asleep and not waking up anytime soon. Perfect. Looks like Virgil was trapped in this box until morning. And still, Patton had Logan. And had given some sort of weird medicine. What if it hurt Logan? Or kept him like that forever? Virgil bit his lip in worry. He’d have to ask Roman tomorrow and if the answer was what he feared he might very well need Roman’s help.

 He let out a small sigh and closed his eyes. But then his nose got itchy and he sneezed. Wait...oh no.No, no, please tell him he wasn’t getting sick. He was answered by another sneeze. It seems like Patton was right about one thing.

 Maybe if he slept it would go away. He closed his eyes again but sleep wasn’t coming. Only another sneeze. He groaned. It was going to be a long night.

[playablekairi]

What do people mischaracterize Riku as? I'm not that into fanon and am curious

ah... this is gonna get long, sorry. plenty of other ppl i follow on twitter have said it before me, so i don’t take credit for this, but the soriku fandom in particular has a long history of hating kairi, and their flimsy justification for it is that she only exists to be sora’s love interest and how it’s pathetic that her existence revolves around nothing but him. they then turn around and do the exact same thing to riku’s character, and make everything about him revolve around his relationship with sora. so he winds up getting mischaracterized as someone who doesn’t have connections to any of the other characters and is even straight up uncomfortable around girls, because haha gay guys hate women amiright!!

this fails to take into account that uh... riku actually has deeper and richer connections to most of the cast’s girls than sora himself does, even though fandom has no problem characterizing sora as bi. to clarify, i do not mean this in a romantic ship sense. riku’s bond with kairi is VERY important to the plots of kh1 and kh2, equally important whether you interpret it romantically or platonically, because this series is at its core about friendship, and seeing fans say “oh that’s just comp het, he actually can’t stand her and did everything for sora” leaves me flabbergasted, especially as a lesbian who has experienced vicious comp het. also like... did they not play the game or...??? but i admittedly have a rikai bias, so moving along. his relationship with naminé is important, and has been continually revisited throughout the series. i don’t think it’s being set up in a shippy sense (or, at least, i sure hope it isn’t), but i think it’s important to note that they are two people who worked together behind the scenes quite often and there is a shared history there, even if it hasn’t been spoonfed to us. the same goes with xion, riku has spent WAY more time interacting with her than sora himself has (granted, for obvious reasons, but i digress) and their relationship is a messy thing i would really like to see explored in future instalments. even looking at minor characters, fans will use his brief interactions with shiki in ddd to ‘prove’ that he’s gay and not just, you know, an awkward disaster because he’s a sixteen year old boy. even his connection to aqua gets sidelined, which i think is a goddamn shame because i would love to see him be her apprentice after all this is said and done, because noooo riku can’t interact with anyone but sora. this isn’t to say that you have to ship him romantically with any female character, that’s not what i’m suggesting at all, but to outright and explicitly say “he has no connection to these characters at all ew how could you say that this OBVIOUSLY gay-coded male character has female friends you fucking homophobe” is. downright insane.

twitter is a bad place, anon, you gotta block the right ppl or you’ll lose your mind because i know that sounds like an exaggeration but i have honest-to-god receipts. in my opinion, it’s downright biphobic, usually misogynistic, and frequently verges on this weird fetishization of mlm relationships. i think it’s often a projection of their own insecurities, which is really sad, but it’s not my responsibility to hold their hands and walk them through their internalized prejudices. i’m here to have fun.

i like riku a lot, and he’s one of my favourite characters of all time. i find him very relatable. i myself am gay. i... do not need him to be gay? i see a lot of fans act like it’s a personal attack for riku to not be 100% gay. i can’t wrap my head around it.

okay this is getting long lemme tl;dr: mischaracterizing riku as tragic gay caricature who exists to do nothing but pine after sora and has actually always hated kairi is such a bad fucking take that it makes my blood boil. kh is about bonds, particular bonds of friendship, and to insist that riku only has a bond with sora and that it HAS to be romantic or else we’ve been queerbaited for years... goes against everything the series has always been about. it’s also hypocritical as fuck that they cherry-pick evidence that kairi’s role in the game is ‘only’ to be sora’s prize to be won at the end, and then turn around and treat soriku the exact same way. i’m over it.

[fivefootab1tch]

allllllrighty~ here’s my tHING~<3 i recognize that i talk pretty fast (and i was also trying to be hushhush so i probably didn’t come out as clear as i wanted to) so i’m including a script under the cut~

Tagged by @momtaku, @laffitine, & @dirtylevi ~ ♡ //thank y'all smmmmm// Tagging @shuuhuu @madcapraccoon @matcha-castella @starry-raven​ & everyone else on here who needs an excuse to do it and wants to. i’ll share the love and peer pressure asdkjfnak

'Aight, so here's my stab at Mamataku's SnK Voice Meme 4.0! I wrote a script to try and keep myself on track, but... the fuck if I ever know how to play right, so here we go~

State your name and username. 『sal, fivefootab-i-tch』 Is there a story behind your user name that you’d like to share? 『it's from an o.g. fandom video called "More Sassy Levi (Ezekieru Outtakes)". this was way before i was more or less tumblr savvy and i've gone through variations of it before settling on this one to mimic Ezekieru's pronunciation of BITCH. i'd wanna have a completely hyphenless version of this url to make my presence easier for the tumblr system to SWALLOW, kkkk but it's taken. the version of it with a 1 instead of the i isn't though... so maybe i'll switch to that one, i dunno. what's a brand?』 Where are you from? 『i'm from the states, southern california, bordertown asscrack of the U.S. you might get that lazy, high as balls, surfer feel from my voice since i've been here all my life』 How long have you been a fan of the series? 『i'm about two years late from the anime release, and i only know this because i immediately started writing fanfiction after binging the series in summer 2015. so... coming on 4 years? damn.』 What is your favorite and least favorite Arc? 『my favorite arc is the uprising arc, a pretty popular opinion, for a lot of reasons: the sudden turn of events, levi's collarbones, levi as a kid, KENNY, the characters all having their own unique identity crisis as their morals are suddenly taking turns, historia reclaiming her identity... (which was something that hits a little too close to home for comfort, but what's a good series that doesn't rip your personal feelings to shreds?)』 『i'm not a big fan of the marley side of things, another pretty popular opinion. for me, suddenly switching to a new cast of characters and setting after so much was accomplished in the uprising arc and return to shiganshina felt like betrayal. i mean... they get to the basement, which was the whole ass goal of the entire series up to that point, then we suddenly screech to a halt to tell someone elses' story. i can understand it... theoretically? i guess? bbut the whole time i was still like "wait a minute, what happened with the main cast?" bits and pieces of it have grown on me since, but i still have a ways to go to invest myself. politically, i just realized... marley really grinds my gears. why did i have to realize this? i'm shook. i can't believe this. i'll process it later.』 Do you have a favorite moment in the story thus far? 『eren screaming "the world outside the walls is my birthright" for... reasons. historia reclaiming her identity for... reasons... i've found myself hyperinvested in this series for immensely personal reasons i hope to eventually see through in my own life. i wanna be free, too. i also liked the moment in the uprising arc when levi thanked armin for saving jean. it was rough, but something he needed to hear. also any moment levi praises people. it's really cute.』 If you could resurrect one dead character who would it be and why? 『kuchel, because not only does levi deserve his mother but i would've loved to see more of her and how she raised levi into the compassionate kind of guy he is now. that side of him survived the tough love kenny put him through, so she must've breathed hella life into her kid and that's something i'd love to have seen more of』 Who is your favorite character and why? 『levi, for a lot of obvious as well as not so obvious reasons.』 『obvious reasons: he's pretty fucking cute. his sass and one liners are hilarious. his sense of humor's a clusterfuck of bad shit jokes and dark takes the people around him don't understand half the time and that's pretty funny in itself. he's o.p. as hell but the way the story makes it not matter when it comes down to it (because the universe is just THAT fucked up) is really something. he's in a league of his own but the depth of his characterization and development shows that's only a small part of who he is. the story demands so much more of him and the ways he rises (and sometimes falls) to the occasion makes me really like him. he's showcased as Humanity's Strongest but he's still human and flawed as fuck.』 『not so obvious reasons: he says fuck gender roles. he's short and makes the trans guy side of me feel pretty good. that particular character trait isn't just a gag for me. he started from the bottom now he's here. he always sides with the powerless, the helpless. he (to his own personal moral code) uses the strength he has for good as opposed to using it to keep people below him, something he could very well do if he uncritically internalized everything kenny spoonfed him, and wanted to. he doesn't sit on a moral high horse. he's open minded and accepting of letting people decide things for themselves. he's humble. if he doesn't understand something, he'll look to other people and he does all that while remaining confident and assertive in his own abilities. he doesn't hold himself above doing the dirty work if he feels he's best suited to do it. he genuinely cares about people and does his best to talk them through their issues when they need it, even if he's clumsy while doing it. it's really inspirational and personally validating .』 Any OTPs? 『erejean hits me a certain way. they're everything "boys will be boys" is SUPPOSED to mean, and i still can't get over jean calling eren cool. they're just so funny and i love their dynamic. hange and petra hits too for a reason i don't really understand yet. i don't get super invested in pairings, but i do like seeing character dynamics being explored in different lights and stuff. **** i bonded with my partner over roleplaying an au ereri thread, so that pairing's pretty special too. i didn't ship it at first, but being open to it has led me to getting to know this amazing person, so... yeah.』 You are able to transport to the SnK Universe for a day. How do you spend it? 『helping out. i don't know what i'd be able to contribute, but i'd want to be doing something to make the lives of the main cast easier. they have it really hard, and so many times i wanted to be able to do something for them. so i write my original characters into fanfiction. on the other hand, if it's a world where i'm independent and free to live whatever life i wanna live, i'd wanna go absolutely apeshit first. see everything there is to see and live all the life there is to live. ****perform a strip tease at a scout party and have the officers stick bills into my boobs.**** THEN commit myself to some sort of social or military work for the scouting legion. ****be their comfort... if yaknoe what i mean. it's good honest work~♡****』 Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong or Eren Jaeger did everything wrong? 『eren jaeger is what eren jaeger does. i can't vouch for whether or not he's right or wrong because there's no way i can really put myself in the situation he's in. mass genocide is very wrong, without a doubt, but something tells me there's something else going on and his real intentions are more complicated. a pivotal point in the series for him was his tribunal, where levi played the role of the arrogant wank to save his life and beat his ass before the whole military court. i think there's something similar going on here. he could be playing a role too, but it still stands that i have no idea. i'm not so invested in condemning or glorifying him, because the things i enjoy about his character aren't really going to be influenced.』 What is your favorite song in the series? Feel free to sing an extract 『i love them all. hiroyuki sawano makes such amazing soundtracks and all the vocals are powerful and chilling as fuckall hell. some favorites i do have are red swan, Vogel im Käfig, Bauklötze, call your name, it's answer song call of silence, youseeBIGGIRL, the spanish version of so ist es immer. so uh... even though i'm not very good at it, i do really love singing, so... i'm gonna try and sing some for y'all. i know a lot more english, japanese, and spanish than i do german so... i'm sorry!』 ****『Like the scarlet night veiling the dark You can hide your fear Can lie, my dear Kono mama yume wo mite Chi darake no tsubasa Hirogete』**** 『Las sillas ya juntas están Charlamos toda la noche  Este lugar no esta nada mal  Y creo que nos llevamos bien ****Solo estamos nosotros  Siempre es nuestra luz  Cantando y bebiendo, puedes estar tu Bajo el cielo azul  Siempre estamos asi  Y largas son las noches aqui』 『Ist das der Zerstörer oder der Schöpfer?』**** 『one of these days, when i feel more bearable to listen to, i'll... try and do some full ass covers, if y'all would be down for that ♡』 Bonus: What would Erwin do? 『about... what? everything going down now? i dunno. all i can offer is a dream daddy reference. he's chilling in Margaritaville somewhere... 』 Say the following: Wall Maria, Jean Kirschstein, Reiner Braun, Ymir, Theo Magath, Onyankopon, Kiyomi Azumabito, Hajime Isayama, Shiganshina Trio, Shingeki no Kyojin, Shinzou wo Sasageyo

[diredigression]

Abernathy Farm

The next installment in Sole’s post-frozen-dinner adventures!

You may notice I’ve changed tense and also some other dialectical details to better match the voice in Sole’s head. I'm also attempting to write Sole with PTSD, but I don't have actual experience with it so CC welcome!

CW: some violence, some PTSD

————————————————

The next day, all sign of the barely-sentient body that she had spoonfed for days is gone. Mr.. Garvey is once again the confident, in-charge Minuteman she met in Concord. “Sturges, great job on the construction! This place is practically draft-proof. And you’ve even got gardens and a water supply? Always knew I could count on you.”

Mr. Sturges hides a slight blush under a wide grin. “This place is really coming together, huh? I can’t take all the credit, though. Sole and Codsworth have really put the interior and garden together, not to mention taking over all the cooking duties!”

Mr. Garvey turns to her. “Thank you, Sole. I can’t say how lucky we are to have you with us.”

She smiles and bows her head delicately at the acknowledgment. “Just doing my part, Mr. Garvey. But, if I may, why did you call me Sole?”

He laughs, a belly-deep sound of delight. She recognizes this, logically, though her brain doesn’t connect with an echoing joy. “No need for ‘Mister Garvey’ here. Hell, you just saved us from a deathclaw and fed me for days. I think that puts us on first-name basis.” His tone suddenly switches to somber and hesitant. “He called you ‘Sole’ because that’s all you gave us instead of a name…You just said ‘I’m the sole survivor.’ What is your name? …Do you know it?”

I’m the sole survivor. She distantly feels a pressure in her chest, like the unease of far-off thunder. Name. She has a name, right? She fights to bring her mind back to the present question, racking her memories, but all she can reliably bring up is the past few days of work. And flashes of scenes, more feeling than picture. The desolation of her first view of the waste, from the top of the vault. The clinical unfamiliarity of the vault suit she still wears.

The vault of death.

Invisible chains suddenly bind her chest and she finds herself collapsing to the ground. Both men rush to her side, but her arm flails to swat them away as she buries her face in her knees and curls around herself as tightly as she can. She freezes there, unaware of the men watching or the passage of time, until the panic finally begins to ease its grip.

She raises her head, muscles still tense, and finds herself looking into the two men’s concerned faces.

“Sole? You okay?”

Her eyes drop. She breathes. Out, in. Out, in. Until she knows her panic is locked away again.

Then she plasters a carefree smile on her face and begins struggling to push herself upright. Mr. Garvey offers a hand, which she accepts.

“I’m so sorry about that, I’m perfectly alright. Just a little lightheaded. Yes, please, just call me Sole. I’m afraid I’ll need to rest for some time, but I’ll see you gentlemen for dinner, yes?”

The concern stiffens on Mr. Sturges’ face and deepens on Mr. Garvey’s. The two men look at each other.

“Very well,” says Mr. Garvey. “Sleep well, Sole.

———

After breakfast the next morning, Mr. Garvey begins filling a pair of packs. Mr. Sturges raises an eyebrow.

“Where we headed?”

Mr. Garvey frowns at the small pile of goods in front of him. “I think I heard of a settlement just west of us. We’ve made a really good start here, but we’re running out of supplies. I figure we go see if they have anything they can spare.”

Mr. Sturges nods. “I could use some materials for crafting too.”

Sole listens to their conversation from the kitchen, where she washes breakfast dishes in a bucket of water. More survivors nearby?

“Hey Sole, you met the neighbors yet?”

She starts. “Nossir, I haven’t.”

“Wanna join the welcome party?”

“I’ll come along if you’d like.”

“It’s a party then!”

Sole helps pack some food for the trip. Pretty soon they’re ready to go. As they pull on their packs, a round silver robot floats into the room.

“Mum? May I have a moment?”

“Of course, Codsworth. What is it?”

The robot lifts two of his long, jointed arms towards her. In the end clamps is held a silver softball bat. It’s clean and shiny, but scratched, and the Red Rockettes logo is still faintly visible. The handle is wrapped in athletic tape that has greyed and lost its stickiness, beginning to unravel.

“Oh, Codsworth! My bat, you kept it ready for me!”

“Of course, mum, I know how important your softball is to you. I’d hoped you’d have a chance to use it again.”

She takes the bat and automatically shifts into a casual batting stance. The weight of the aluminum is familiar in her hands, and a smile appears on her face as she takes a careful practice swing.

“Nice swatter you’ve got!” says Mr. Garvey. “That’ll be a good weapon for you, since you didn’t seem too comfortable with guns.”

Her joy turns to disgust and she clutches the bat to her chest, forgetting her manners. “What?! No, this is for softball! This isn’t a weapon!”

“Haha, what? I don’t know what vault you came from, but no one’s played softball or baseball in two hundred years. Surprised they didn’t mention it. Weapon’s all it’s good for now. I bet Sturges could mod it for you to make it more effective.”

There’s a lot to unpack in his statement, but Sole chooses to focus on the simplest part. The rest gets locked away. The rest, for now, doesn’t exist. “No, Mr. Sturges is not touching my bat. Codsworth, thank you, now please take this back and keep it safe for me for now.”

“Yes, mum.”

Mr. Garvey frowns. The bat safely out of harm’s reach again, Sole has lost her bravery and feels a familiar fear and shame begin to knot in her stomach at the sight. Dammit, she’s spoken out too bluntly. She’s hesitant and worried now. “What is it, Mr. Garvey?”

“…It’s just Preston, and I just want you to have a weapon. You need to be able to defend yourself. You know that, right?”

She does not, and she doesn’t know how to respond either. She folds her hands together in front of her and looks at the floor.

“Okay…do you know how to fight with a knife?” A head shake no. “A 10 mil?” No. “…knuckles? Can you punch?” No.

He sighs. “Even Diamond City residents are better prepared than this. Okay. Do you think you could swing a crowbar?”

She has nothing else to do, so she nods.

“Good. Sturges should have one lying around, and I’ve got some spare armor we can at least put you in. I’m not letting you go around unprotected.”

She allows herself to be dressed in the bulky leather armor. Soon she’s following Mr. Garvey out of Sanctuary, the heavy crowbar hanging awkwardly from her hand.

—————

Sole is harvesting melons, young miss Lucy Abernathy’s request in exchange for a few stims and some other supplies Mr. Garvey had requested, when she overhears him and the family patriarch talking in low tones.

“Most of them died. They gave their lives to protect the Commonwealth. It’s just me now.”

“That’s a damn shame. Those were brave men and women. If y’all had been here when those raiders hit, my daughter Mary might still be alive. Then again…feels like we’ve been on our own for a long time anyway.”

“Damn…I’m sorry to hear that. I wish we could’ve helped. You have my condolences. Is there anything we could do to help now?”

Mr. Abernathy had been despondent, hanging in the air as if the only thing keeping him upright was an invisible string at the nape of his neck. At first he just shrugs, head drooping and swaying gently. Then he pauses, then straightens slightly.

“I don’t have much to offer, but…Those raiders that killed Mary, they took her locket, too. It’s been in Connie’s family for generations. If you could get it back…it’d mean a lot to us.”

Mr. Garvey straightens his hat proudly. “I’d be honored to. You have my word as a Minuteman, I will do everything in my power to return that locket to you and Connie.”

Mr. Abernathy nods, a specter of a smile finally appearing on his face. You might be the one to make me believe the word of a Minuteman again. Thank you, Garvey.”

They shake hands and part. Sole gathers up the melons and heads towards the ramshackle house.

—————

They crouch behind a barbed-wire fence, watching the forested, still remains of USAF Satellite Station Olivia. Mr. Garvey watches the station from her left, while Codsworth hovers at her right, his thruster humming in the quiet. She’s not sure why she’s here or still armored or why Mr. Garvey is suddenly so cautious. He had just assumed she would join, so she did. They had stopped briefly at Sanctuary to reorganize their new supplies, talked briefly with Mr. Sturges, who had chosen to stay behind, and also talked with Codsworth, who had insisted on coming with Sole. Mr. Garvey’s laser musket is in his hands, while Codsworth’s three eyestalks scan the surroundings fretfully. Sole grips her crowbar tighter as their tension fills her.

Mr. Garvey turns to her. “The place looks empty, maybe they’re out somewhere else, but we can’t be sure,” he whispers. “We’re gonna try to just get in, find the locket, and get out. No heroics, no unnecessary risk. Stay well behind Codsworth and me and try to stay out of trouble. Got it?”

She’s not sure she gets much of anything. She nods anyway.

“Alright. Stay here for the moment until Codsworth and I give the all-clear.” He looks at the robot, who bobs an agreement. The two cross the fence and stalk towards the structures.

They’ve made it halfway when the ground erupts beneath them. A pack of malformed, dog-sized animals surrounds them, attacking. Sole screams, forgetting their attempts at subtlety. Mr. Garvey roars too, and the area lights up with his laser bolts and Codsworth’s flamethrower. The creatures’ screams are added to the din.

Then Mr. Garvey pauses and gestures wildly past the robot. “It’s mined!”

A massive explosion erupts. Sole is knocked backwards, and she scrambles to get her head under her hands. She huddles there where she’s landed, hiding under her hands, waiting for the next attack.

There’s only silence.

After several moments of frantic heartbeats, she summons the courage to turn and crawl back to the fence. The area in front of the station is now a dark blast zone, animal carcasses scattered around. She doesn’t look too closely at them. She releases a breath as she finds Mr. Garvey and Codsworth, singed but alive, picking themselves off the ground. Mr. Garvey rubs his ears, shakes his head vigorously, retrieves his musket, then looks towards her and gestures Come here. She crosses the fence and hesitantly picks her way forward, scanning for more of the creatures.

“Don’t worry, I think we got them all. You okay?”

“What on earth just happened? Are you okay? Codsworth?”

“These idiots apparently decided that strapping mines to a molerat was a good defense mechanism. It’s amazing they didn’t blow themselves up. We’ll have to keep an eye out for more traps inside.”

“Molerats? No. They don’t get that big. No. They must be…uh…”

Mr. Garvey frowns as she flounders, but Codsworth floats up and pats her shoulder with a claw, awkward and a little overly aggressive. “No worries, mum, they’re gone now. You don’t have to bother with them anymore.”

She stares at him, searching for confidence in the large glass eyes and finding enough to ease her panic slightly. “Alright. Um. I left the crowbar…” She runs back to grab it from where it dropped and returns. Mr. Garvey looks to the station door, breathes deeply, and opens it.

———————

The station is quiet. They make it to the bottom with no problems. They separate and begin searching the scattered toolboxes and desks for the locket.

“Hey, I found a key!” Mr. Garvey calls. “Think it opens that security door?”

It does, and he murmurs a small “Yes!” at the sight of the room and the supplies it contains. He quickly loops it, throwing the assorted weaponry into his pack. One item—is that a mini nuke?!—he cradles gently and wraps in a cloth before carefully stowing.

Then Codsworth’s aggressive shout from where he’d been stationed on guard in the hallway. “Hello! Fancy a bit of fist-a-cuffs, do we?”

Mr. Garvey whips around to Sole—”Stay here!”—grabs his musket and charges into the hallway. Sole freezes in a corner of the room. Yells come from the hallway.

A man charges into the room where Sole cowers. She notices the remarkably straight mohawk on his otherwise-bald head. She notices the cloth strips wrapping his arms and the armor pads on his legs and chest. She notices the knife in his hand. She notices the gaps in his teeth as he grins rabidly at her and shouts, “Come on, little girl! Let’s do this!”

Sole is frozen. The man dodges towards her, almost like a herding dog expecting a sheep to flee, but then realizes she’s not moving. His wild grin widens. “Too fuckin easy.” He moves closer.

The sound from the hallway fades as Sole’s world spirals down to the filthy face approaching her. Her breathing is rapid; his is heavy and gasping. He approaches until his face is right in hers. He raises the knife to her face. She can smell his rank breath and, separately, his rank body. He looms over her, and she manages to move just enough to stumble back, away from him, into a corner. He follows, never letting the distance increase. The sharp tip of the knife gently scrapes down her face. His eyes follow, and descend lower down her body, the grin never fading. “Ain’t you a pretty little thing.”

She can feel the crowbar in her hand, but she can’t manage to use it, even in the face of certain danger. His eyes return to her face. As he meets her eyes, she realizes that his are a startling light blue. They would be handsome, if he weren’t currently pressing a knife against her face. She realizes that he’s very young. Certainly much younger than she is. Just a boy, really. What is he doing here? What is he doing with a knife?

“Sorry, girly. It was fun while it lasted.” The boy’s grin turns to a snarl as he retracts the knife and then shoves it into her side.

————————

“Sole! Sole!”

“Mum!”

Her consciousness slowly returns to her body. Her arms are still flailing, and she stills them. Mr. Garvey rushes towards her and grabs her shoulders, pulling the crowbar from her limp hands.

“I’m so sorry we let him get through! There was a minigun…ah hell, you’re bleeding! Where are you hurt? Here, sit down…maybe not here…come over here…” He leads her to a chair, catching her when she takes a step and nearly falls. The stumble pulls her side, and she realizes it hurts. Mr. Garvey pulls off her armor and Codsworth digs through a pack. A blinding pain in her side; then, slowly, the pain is replaced by the itch of flesh stitching back together, beginning from deep under her ribcage.

Her eyes begin to clear. She watches Mr. Garvey replace the top on a bottle of alcohol. She glances over his shoulder.

The man—the boy—is there. He’s on the floor. His head has been replaced by a bloody pulp.

She leans over and vomits.

[goose--danvers]

you smile at me (and I love you for how human you are) - Chapter 1.

Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912324/chapters/42290585

Ending up stuck in a hospital room that smelled too clean and looked too plain and boring wasn’t exactly what Steve had imagined happening after he went looking for Bucky. Somehow he had wanted to believe that everything would have turned out alright. Instead, he’d ended up almost drowning after getting beaten up by the man he had gone to save. ’’Yes, I want you to come and get me right now,’’ Steve said one more time, holding his phone between his shoulder and ear. He’d got enough of laying in a bed that was too small and had the scratchiest sheets he had ever felt in his entire life. ’’Yeah, bye.’’ He ended the call and threw the books from his bedside table into his bag. Natasha had brought them to him when she had found out he was going to be spending a while in the hospital. He placed his phone in one of the smaller pockets of the bag and threw it over his shoulder, regretting the motion immediately when a shooting pain went from his shoulder all the way down to his wrist. Well, that was definitely something he wasn’t going to be mentioning to Sam.

Getting to walk away from the room he’d basically lived in for the past week and three days felt like breaking out of prison after a thousand years. He said bye to the nurses that had been taking care of him as he walked towards the elevators. Sam might have told him to stay in his room and wait for him but Steve was able to get into an elevator and walk out of the hospital by himself just fine, thank you very much. It was a lovely morning, just not as warm as it usually was. The sun wasn’t shining and the wind wasn’t a nice cooling breeze, it was so cold that Steve could feel it in his bones. Now he understood why Sam had told him to wear a sweater. He should’ve listened. There were dark clouds in the distance. It might even rain later on. Steve liked the rain. Bucky had always loved the rain.

Sam, being late per usual, finally arrived in front of the hospital building at 8:30 AM. The look in his friend’s eyes was intense when he stepped out of his car. Steve knew exactly what he was going to say. ’’Didn’t I tell you to wait inside, Rogers? And to put on a sweater? Do you ever even listen to a word I say?’’ He grabbed Steve’s bag away from his injured shoulder and threw it in the trunk, ’’You ain’t completely healed yet, no matter what you say. Now get in, it’s fucking freezing out here.’’ ’’Can’t handle a little cold?’’ Steve mocked with a smile as he climbed into the car. ’’Nope.’’ Sam said and took a quick look at the rear-view mirror before making a U-turn, ’’I like the sun. I like to warm. Let’s hope it doesn’t rain, only freaks like you enjoy that kind of stuff.’’ Bucky used to love the rain. ’’So… your face looks better.’’ Sam continued when he realized Steve wasn’t going to comment on what he had just said. Then he cursed quietly at the traffic in front of them. It might end up taking a little longer to get back home than they had originally expected. Steve huffed out a slight laugh, trying not to hurt his bruised ribs, ’’Gee, thanks.’’ Sam glanced at him and rolled his eyes, ’’You know what I mean. That soldier of yours did a number on you.’’ The soldier. Bucky. ’’Yeah, I guess he did,’’ he answered before turning his head to look out of the window. Since the sun wasn’t glaring at him, he could see his reflection in the slightly dirty window. Maybe he did look slightly better. ’’I guess?’’ Sam asked, taking another look at him, ’’Your eye was swollen shut, Rogers. You looked like you had been used as a punching bag.’’ ’’It wasn’t his fault,’’ Steve mumbled, leaning his sore head against the cool window. ’’What was that?’’ ’’It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know what he was doing.’’ ’’I think he knew exactly what he was doing.’’ Sam sounded angry and almost disappointed, ’’He told you that you are his mission. Doesn’t that change anything for you? He tried to end your life.’’ ’’The Winter Soldier tried to end my life.’’ Steve corrected him, ’’But Bucky saved my life.’’ ’’Steve-’’ ’’Sam, if there is a difference between the two. And I don’t care about the fact that you probably know more about how people’s brains work, I’ve known him my whole life.’’ ’’Whatever you say.’’ ’’I really don’t feel like fighting about this,’’ Steve told him. He was tired. ’’I just want to get home and go to sleep.’’ ’’And that’s exactly what I want you to do as well,’’ Sam said, his voice strict. He then went on to talk about everything the rest of the Avengers had been up to whilst he’d been in the hospital. After hearing about Tony blowing stuff up in his lab once again, Steve began to zone out as he watched dark clouds rolling towards them. It began to rain. Just like Steve had thought it would. The raindrops hitting the window he was leaning against made his eyes droop. He allowed them to close and felt the dull pain in his head slip away. The next time he opened his eyes, he was no longer facing the window nor were they moving. Sam was sitting next to him, looking down at his phone. Were they already back home? ’’Oh, good. You’re up.’’ He turned his phone off, ’’Finally. You can really sleep through anything.’’ Steve shifted, moving to a more comfortable position. His shoulder felt like it had been stabbed with a thousand burning knives. ’’You could have just woken me up. I’m starting to think you just like watching me sleep.’’ ’’Yeah, yeah.’’ Sam laughed, ’’It’s still raining, so we gotta hurry.’’ ’’We don’t have an umbrella?’’ Steve asked, looking around the car, ’’You should get an umbrella.’’ ’’Yeah, just a moment, Rogers, I’ll just pull one right out of my ass.’’ Sam gritted through his teeth, a slight hint of humor in his voice, ’’Now, get the hell out.’’ Steve laughed before doing as he was told. He stretched his legs out and carefully rolled his shoulder. The shooting pain came and he tried his best not to show it on his face. The Avengers Facility looked the same. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting; He’d only been gone for a bit over a week. In all fairness, when it came to Stark, he never knew what to expect. If the man decided that he wanted to paint the outside of the Facility red, he could get it done in a day. ’’I swear to god if you don’t drag your ass here right now!’’ Sam yelled at him from the front door where he had run to take shelter from the rain that was only getting more and more aggressive. Steve let out a sigh. He hadn’t even noticed that he was getting soaked. As he began to make his way towards the building, he could feel his right sock getting wet. He was going to have to get a new pair of shoes. ’’You sure you’re feeling alright? You were staring at this building like it was the most interesting thing in the entire universe.’’ Sam asked, looking him up and down as he held the door open for Steve, ’’I can still take you back to the hospital if you don’t feel… normal?’’ ’’I’m fine,’’ Steve muttered, stepping in. Sam followed him. ’’It takes you an hour to just get out of bed in the morning, Sam. You can’t blame me for being slightly confused when I just woke up a second ago.’’ ’’Yeah, yeah. Sorry, man.’’ The door closed behind them. It was immediately a lot warmer. ’’Good morning, Captain Rogers. It’s a pleasure to have you back.’’ Jarvis’ familiar voice greeted him, making Steve smile. He was finally home. ’’Good morning,’’ Steve replied, ’’Have you been keeping an eye on everyone while I was gone?’’ ’’Of course, sir.’’ ’’Did you eat at the hospital?’’ Sam asked, setting Steve’s bag down on the floor. Steve shook his head and sat down, ’’No. The nurses were nice but god, the food. That’s one of the many things I’m not going to miss.’’ ’’Should I make something or… we could always order pizza?’’ ’’I’m not really that hungry anyway,’’ Steve replied. ’’Steve.’’ He could hear the judgment in his friend’s voice. Here comes the rant. ’’If you’re gonna start neglecting your health already, I’m gonna drag your super soldier ass back to that hospital in a heartbeat. ’’I’m not neglecting a-’’ Steve let out a sigh before continuing, ’’I’m just not hungry. I’m an adult, I know when I want to eat.’’ Sam let out a sigh of his own, ’’We should’ve just taken the nurses with us. Nat told me they always got you to eat. ’’Yeah, because if I didn’t, they would have spoonfed me.’’ Steve told him with a slight laugh, ’’Didn’t really have much of a choice.’’ ’’Oh, I can spoonfeed you too, Rogers. Don’t underestimate me.’’ Steve began to get up from his seat, ’’Sure, Sam. I think I’m just going to go to my room. Or maybe I should just say hi to everyone. Where are they anyway?’’ ’’Sit your ass back down.’’ Sam commanded, ’’And Stark and Banner are probably in the lab. The others are either sleeping or training. Clint is coming back tomorrow or the day after that.’’ Steve rolled his eyes before following his friend’s orders, ’’Ugh. I just want to sleep.’’ ’’And you are going to be doing that right after you have something to eat.’’ Sam told him, ’’Steve, the others haven’t had breakfast yet, you know why? Because they were waiting for you.’’ ’’Sam, I-’’ ’’Just, please.’’ Well, that wasn’t something Steve got to hear every day. Sam Wilson was begging. ’’Everyone’s been really worried about you, man.’’ And now he just felt bad. ’’Fine.’’ he muttered, ’’But if they aren’t here in the next fifteen minutes, I’m going to my room.’’ ’’Okay.’’ The other man smiled, seeming satisfied with his answer, ’’Jarvis, can you tell everyone that we’re having breakfast in ten minutes?’’ ’’Sure, Mr. Wilson.’’ ’’What are you going to manage to make in ten minutes?’’ Steve asked and watched how the other man went through every cabinet in the kitchen before pulling out a small box of something. ’’Pancakes.’’ he answered with a proud smile, ’’Let’s just hope this pancake mix hasn’t gone bad.’’ ’’Even if it has gone bad, they’re going to taste better than the pancakes at the hospital,’’ Steve said with a smirk. The pancakes there had tasted like rubber. He might have thrown them out of the hospital window and watched how a flock of birds had gotten a good meal out of them. Sam laughed lightly and began mixing the pancake batter. He seemed to know what he was doing. ’’I’ve never seen you use anything else in the kitchen other than the microwave and the blender. Should I be afraid?’’ Sam glared at him, ’’I’ve made pancakes out of a box before. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna burn the place down.’’ ’’Maybe we should just wait for Tony.’’ Sam rolled his eyes and took a pan out of one of the cabinets, ’’No, we shouldn’t. Jarvis will tell me if I’m doing something wrong. Right, J?’’ ’’That is correct, Mr. Wilson.’’ Steve hummed and decided to trust the man who was already pouring some of the mixture onto the pan. He leaned his face against his hand and allowed himself to not keep an eye on Sam the whole time. Jarvis would tell him if there was a fire.

It was still raining outside. If he listened carefully, he could hear the drops of water hitting the roof of the building. He turned to look out of the big glass doors to the backyard. Steve could imagine Bucky loving that part of the house. He would sit next to the glass doors and enjoy the weather, maybe even have a cup of warm coffee in his hands. ’I hope you’re safe.’ Steve thought to himself, suddenly feeling sad. Sam didn’t seem too keen on Bucky and the others probably had their own concerns about him as well. Natasha had told them everything she knew about Bucky and the Winter Soldier, it just seemed like Steve was the only one who knew that there was a difference between the two. Even if they believed that the two were the one and the same for the rest of their lives, he wished that they would at least realize that when the Winter Soldier went on a mission and was pointing a gun at someone, there was a victim in front of the gun as well as behind it. Bucky had remembered him. His eyes had changed from cold and distant to soft and scared. If humans truly did have a soul, at that moment Bucky’s had been shining right through his eyes. ’I’m with you till the end of the line.’ He allowed himself to drown in the thoughts of what could have been, had he been able to save Bucky and take him home with him. How he could’ve carefully touched his shoulder just to make sure that he was really there. Maybe he could’ve even heard his own name slip from Bucky’s mouth. Maybe- ’’Mr. Wilson, I believe it’s time to flip the pancake.’’ Jarvis’ voice broke him out of his daydream. Steve’s head immediately ’’Shit.’’ Sam cursed and flipped the pancake like Jarvis had told him to. Only a couple more seconds and it would have been completely burned. There was already a pile of pancakes on a big plate right next to the stove. Before Steve even had the chance to make fun of the man, a familiar voice came from behind him and beat him to it, ’’Do they all look like that? Because if they do, I’m suddenly not hungry.’’ ’’The rest are fine, this one’s just a little crisp.’’ Sam glared at Tony, who took a seat right next to Steve and offered him a big smile. ’’Good to see you, Cap. Heard you got sick of being in the hospital,’’ he said to him and gave him a small pat on the back. ’’Yeah, I did.’’ Steve replied, offering a smile of his own, ’’It’s good to see you too, Stark.’’ Bruce arrived in the kitchen only a few moments after Tony. When he noticed Steve, he went to give a quick hug, ’’Steve, how are you doing?’’ ’’I’m alright.’’ Steve tried not to wince when Bruce squeezed his injured shoulder a bit too hard, ’’Can actually see out of my other eye now.’’ ’’Yeah, for a moment I thought Fury was going to get a patch buddy,’’ Tony replied with a smirk and Steve realized he’d actually missed the man and his stupid remarks. He wasn’t going to say that out loud though. Sam took out the right number of plates and cutlery and got the table ready for when the rest of the Avengers would arrive. He grabbed the plate with the big pile of pancakes and placed it on the table before telling Jarvis to turn off the stove. ’’Did you use the entire box of that pancake mix?’’ Tony asked, staring at the pancakes as Sam sat down. ’’Yeah… I mean this house is filled with people who train every day, plus a healing super soldier. We need a lot of food.’’ Sam answered, a serious expression on his face. Tony laughed at him. ’’Something smells burned.’’ Steve jumped at the voice and turned to look around to see Natasha standing behind him with a smirk on her face, ’’How are you doing?’’ ’’I’m good,’’ Steve replied, smiling as well. She seemed like she too wanted to give him a hug but didn’t do so, probably because she remembered his injuries, unlike Bruce. Instead, she carefully ruffled his hair. ’’Where did you leave Rhodey?’’ Tony asked, chewing on a piece of pancake, ’’Did you kick his ass and leave him on the floor of the training facility?’’ ’’Oh, shut up, Tony.’’ Rhodey said when he appeared in the kitchen only a couple moment after Natasha, ’’I’m not that young anymore, of course she kicked my ass.’’ Tony laughed, ’’I knew it.’’ ’’You hurting anywhere anymore, Steve? I heard you took quite a fall.’’ Rhodey asked, the same way everyone else had asked. It was getting a bit tiring. ’’I’m fine,’’ Steve replied. Couldn’t they speak about something else? ’’You sure?’’ Rhodey continued, ’’I mean… I know I didn’t see you at the hospital but I hear that you used to look much worse just a while back but you still look a bit… well… swollen.’’ ’’It won’t take long for me to heal the rest of the way.’’ Steve explained, pretending that he wasn’t bothered by the constant questions, ’’So… You guys know that Clint loves surprises. Why don’t we throw him a welcome back party?’’ Thankfully the suggestion made everyone talk and he only had to pretend to listen. His head was beginning to hurt again but the pain was nothing compared to what it had been earlier in the car. While everyone kept on planning the party, he finished his pile of pancakes and stood up quietly. He placed the plate in the sink, grabbed his bag and walked out of the room. He didn’t turn around, despite feeling everyone’s eyes on him. Everyone in the kitchen went quiet and he just kept on walking. The last thing he heard before he stepped into his room was Natasha’s hushed voice asking, ’’Sam, are you sure he’s alright?’’ He closed the door before he could hear the answer. Despite the fact that Steve felt tired, he couldn’t get any sleep. Nobody had dared to bother him after he had left the kitchen, which meant that his message of ’I want to be alone’ had been loud and clear. Once he had figured out how to listen to music from his phone, that Tony had given to him as a present last Christmas, he had plugged his headphones in and just laid on his bed, looking up at the skylight. The skylight was the reason why he had chosen that room from the facility in the first place. When he couldn’t sleep, he could look at the stars and also so that when it rained, which it rarely did, he could watch the raindrops splatter against the bulletproof glass. He made sure that the music he was listening to was loud enough that even if there were people speaking about him in the living room or kitchen, he would not be able to hear them. Sam had helped him create a playlist of all the songs that Steve had enjoyed back in the day. Ever since he’d woken up in the hospital, Steve had felt a lump in his throat. For a couple of days, he had told himself that it was just all the water he had swallowed that made his throat feel odd but he knew the real reason behind it. The day before he had left the hospital, his eyes had begun to burn too but he had refused to let it all out because he had been afraid that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. He wondered if the man even remembered him anymore. Was he sitting somewhere in the cold all alone? Was he enjoying the rain as he used to when they were younger? Did he go back to Hydra? A new song came on and that was the moment he allowed the burn in his eyes and the lump in his throat to disappear. He closed his eyes and allowed the bitter tears to fall down. The song belonged to them, so he made sure that he didn’t miss a single word that the soft was singing to his ears and remembered the first and last time he had heard that song. Bucky and him, both wearing their uniforms. It was quiet. The party had just ended. The only evidence of the fact that there had even been a party in the first place was the small puddles of spilled drinks on the floor and the small sound of a cello finishing up the last song of the night. Bucky looked sad and Steve didn’t have to ask him why. He knew. He leaned a bit closer, ’’One day, when it’s our time, I’m going to take you dancing.’’ Bucky looked at him and let out a small laugh, obviously wanting to believe him, ’’Steve...’’ ’’I will.’’ He promised, carefully reaching out and holding his hand. Steve could see the singer of the band looking at him. He was ready to pull his hand away, not wanting to cause any trouble but then she smiled at him. The smile was full of… kindness and understanding. Did she really understand? She walked closer and Steve could feel Bucky trying to pull his hand away but Steve didn’t let him go. ’’You boys want one more song?’’ ’’Y-You really don’t have to.’’ Bucky was the first one to answer. He sounded nervous, almost scared. Steve squeezed his hand. ’’Oh, but there is this one song that I really would have loved to sing but didn’t have the time to.’’ She smiled a knowing smile and looked down

at their intertwined hands, ’’I think we would all very much enjoy it. It is truly a beautiful song.’’ ’’I don’t know if-’’ Steve wasn’t sure about it. Could they really? ’’My dears, for once the dance floor is empty for you.’’ She told them, ’’It’s all yours.’’ Steve was sure that his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Maybe it was truly their time. He stood up, still holding onto Bucky’s hand as he led him to the empty dance floor. Bucky didn’t seem scared anymore but he was unsure, just like Steve had been only a moment ago. But it was their time, there was nothing to be unsure of. Steve could hear the singer say something to the band before the music slowly started. He was shaking. Bucky was breathing heavy as if he couldn’t believe this was real. Hell, Steve couldn’t believe this was truly real. He carefully wrapped his free hand around Bucky’s waist and pulled him as close as he possibly could. The woman was still smiling at them. She understood. As Bucky wrapped his arms around him as well, he let out a small gasp. His breathing was shaky but Steve didn’t mention it. It was overwhelming, they were finally getting to do what they had always wanted to do. Steve was taller than Bucky now, he could rest his face against his and just enjoy him. ’’I love you more than anything,’’ Steve whispered to him quietly but not ashamed. The woman began to sing. ’How much do I love you? I'll tell you no lie. How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky? How many times in a day do I think of you? How many roses are sprinkled with dew? How far would I travel just to be where you are? How far is the journey from here to a star? And if I ever lost you, how much would I cry? How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?

[kpoptionate]

skz reaction: s/o w/ a sweet tooth complaining about a toothache

stray kids masterlist // official masterlist

07.21.18

genre: fluff

a/n: okay it was like three in the morning when i wrote this and i’ve been six days running on ten hours of sleep so if anything sounds a little. half assed. i’m sorry lmao. thanks for requesting, though <333

woojin ♡

to woojin you are just !! too cute !! to handle !! he walks in on you watching tv with your face pressed against your knee with teary eyes. you say nothing’s wrong but when he sees the million wrappers and boxes all over the room he realizes what’s up. he forces you up to brush your teeth but that hurts and it might not ? be the best idea medically ? but he makes you do it anyway because he loves you. when you’re done he cups your jaw with his hands and peppers cute little kisses all over your face before bringing you into a big ol’ woojin hug™ and petting the back of your head, whispering sweet things into your ear.

“it’ll be okay, baby, try not to eat so many sweets next time, though, alright ?”

chan ♡

he probably didn’t notice you were hurting until you told him ? like you were holding your jaw and all but he’s kinda slow at some things so you had to physically say “chris why does my jaw hurt” and he was like “idk why” and you were like “i don’t knOw it’s why i asked you dammit” so ! he set out on a quest ! to find the reason for your pain. no ideas come to mind until he finds like fifty candy wrappers in the trashcan by your bed. but ! they were the wrappers to the snacks y’all bought to eat together tonight during a movie ! he pretended to be mad just to mess with you but just had to give in when he saw you pout, you’re just too cute to him and he loves you.

“tsk tsk tsk, y/n, who would’ve thought you’d betray me like this...”

minho ♡

when you come to him holding your jaw complaining about a toothache, he probably just points and giggles™ at you (like honestly his laugh is the cutest fucking thing shoot me i wanna cry). when you get frustrated and stomp your feet and pout at him it just makes his heart m e l t, you’re too cute, so he gets you your medicine and some ice. he hands it in your direction but when you reach out to grab it he pulls it back, holding it above his head so he can laugh while you try to jump up and reach it. after a minute or so he remembers that you’re actually in pain, so he ends up giving in, laying you on the couch and covering you in a soft blanket, bending down to kiss you on your forehead as he turns something on the tv to watch.

halfway through the move he snuck his hand down the side of the couch and pulled out a bag of sour patch kids and laughed when he wouldn’t let you have you any.

“y/n, you’re cute and all, but it must not hurt that bad if you won’t come grab it...”

changbin ♡

doesn’t really do anything at first bc it was your own damn fault and he told you not to eat anything but nObody ever listens to changbin. he gives you a little huff when he goes to grab your medicine and all before tossing it on your lap and sitting beside you, crossing his legs on the coffee table. he says some things with a sassy tone and you kinda look at you with a “what the hell” face and hit his v muscular oh my god arm. he just kissed your temple and slung his arm around your shoulder, laying your head on his.

“i don’t know what you want me to say, y/n, i told you not to eat all that junk...”

hyunjin ♡

shook his head as he chuckled, giving you that smile™ as he turned away to get your medicine. when he came back with it, he offered to make you something a little more healthy to eat as a meal, and did it anyway when you declined. he, of course, waited til you felt better until he spoonfed you mashed potatoes. afterwards he turned on a movie and snuggled you under the blanket, legs wrapped around your waist and arms your shoulders, kissing your forehead as the two of you fell asleep.

“you’re too cute, y/n, too cute...”

jisung ♡

def teased you when he saw you holding your jaw whining. he tried to come hold you but he kept falling over laughing at you in pain. eventually he started freaking out when you began fake crying and he felt bad. he’d made you some mashed potatoes and feed them to you, and when you were done he’d sang you a song until you fell asleep on his lap. aww, how sweet.

when you woke up, jisung was gone and there was mashed potato on your face.

“skskskskskskskskskskksksks...”

felix ♡

tbh he would be in pain too bc he was eating all the shit with you. on his day off y’all just cuddle on the couch eating cake and ice cream and skittles all day. you don’t realize your teeth hurt until he starts whining about his except he’s hella dramatic™. like holding his jaw and shoving his face in your lap and yelling your name and crying and just. ugh. so then both of y’all are just whining but neither one of you gets up to get tylenol bc you’re comfortable in your cuddling position. felix screams for chan to come get it for y’all but all he does is tell you guys to get off your lazy asses and shut the hell up, he’s trying to take a nap dammit.

“y/nnnnn !!! it hurts so baddddd, help me !!!”

seungmin ♡

when he walks in on you holding your jaw on a pillow with your eyebrows scrunched and your lips in a pout, he instantly knows what was going on. he walks out the room and comes back a few moments later with tylenol, a bottle of water, and an ice pack in a cloth. he gives you everything you need as he snuggles up beside you under the covers with his arm draped around your shoulder, smiling to himself as you fall asleep on his chest.

“aish, y/n, what am i gonna do with you...”

jeongin ♡

being the small boy he is, you were definitely able to take advantage of him without even having to do anything. he offered to do everything for you - cook your dinner, carry you to the bathroom, sing you lullabies, pick up your phone you dropped. he kinda thought you were helpless ? but in a cute way. anything you asked for he would do for you. he didn’t realize he was being played as a fool til he caught you on the phone laughing and talking like you were perfectly fine. he embarassedly laughed and pretended to be mad until you cuddled him and offered to baby him for the rest of the night.

“you really take me for a fool like that ? when will people start treating me like the man i am...”

feel free to send in any requests, asks, comments, i don’t mind, i’ll answer anything :)

[shirosucc]

voltron ask game

i havent done one of these in FOREVER but i was tagged by @gayhura​ !! thank u bby 💖💖💖

How did you discover the show?

i always peripherally knew of it when i was a yuri on ice blog. i had one mutual who was super into it but ironically she was a klanti. so i knew kl was a thing, i knew k and l were characters, but i didn’t know which was which. i blacklisted the ship tag bc they bored me and i was thoroughly uninterested in their relationship, which due to its prevalence and popularity i assumed to be basically canon already. one day a mutual rbed this (now deleted) nsfw sk art and i was like damn....... who’s the sexy cow man.... ppl really ship dark haired pretty boy w someone other than skinny green bean boy? so i went on the voltron wiki, learned all their names, started reading some sk fanfic because i was so determined to not get into the show. i was convinced i could just look at the pretty art and read the fic and not watch the show. clearly that was Not True

Was it love at first sight or did it take you a while to get into the the show?

my situation is weird so since i was already invested in the characters themselves (or two of them at least), i was pretty into the show from the very start. season 2 definitely solidified my love, but i was so into shiro and keith’s development both individually and as friends that it didn’t take much for me to start loving the show.

Do you have a favorite episode?

definitely s2e1 (across the universe) and s2e8 (bom). both very iconic sheith episodes. i also REALLY REALLY like s4e2 (reunion)... it made me cry like a little bitch baby even though i KNEW that pidge was gonna get reunited w/ matt. 

Do you have a favorite Paladin?

i really love all of them a lot. i love shiro as a character, and also what he means for representation and what he means for my thirst levels, but ultimately keith is my favorite because i relate to him a lot and feel for him very intensely. i think he’s more complicated than fandom tends to like (ppl generally hate the things they don’t understand and i think keith is a prime example of that in a fandom where fandom needs everything spoonfed to them). i don’t understand the concept of kin (disclaimer: this is not an invitation to send me asks explaining what kin is to me) but keith is the closest i will ever come to kinning a character. i love him. he’s my darling boy. my son. light of my life. my babey. i’ll defend him until my dying breath and anyone who doesn’t like that can die mad about it.

Do you have a favorite Lion? (If it’s different from your fav Paladin, why?)

i like the red lion. you gotta earn her trust. she follows the rules of No Man. i understand that. i respect it. also she flew across space to save keith AND attacked an entire alien base to save him. if that’s not the biggest mood in the world idk what is.

Do you have a favorite Villian?

regular brain: he doesn’t really count as a ‘villain’ but i luv lotor with all my heart and soul. i think he’s a really complex character and i can’t quite figure him out but i think that’s a good thing. people in real life aren’t predictable, and fictional characters shouldn’t be either.

big galaxy brain: acxa............ hot

Do you have a favorite Alien Race? (Recurring and/or minor)

ARUSIANS!!! the arusians!!! they are so cute!!! i also think it’s so cute that a couple of them have designs based on real ppl who worked on the show. they look like tiny little dinosaur babies. i love them.

Favorite side / other character(s)- Rebels, Generals, Blade of Marmora, Garrison, etc?

blade of marmora... i know people LOVE to hate them (especially kolivan) but i am glad that they have a place for keith. i think they’re really really good for him. i wish they would stop dying tho.

How/Why did you join the fandom?

me: im not gonna get into voltron

me after seeing one picture of sk: ok im just gonna look at art

me after exhausting every artist’s sk tag: ok im just gonna read fic

me after exhausting the sk fic tag on ao3: ok im just gonna watch the episodes with shiro and keith

me after realizing that there is no list of episodes just focusing on shiro and keith: ok im gonna watch the show but i wont blog about it

me after watching the entire show in 3 days: ok im gonna blog about it but gen material only and i will never blog about ships.

me, 2 days later, on the literal day the guidebook ages came out: I WOULD SHOVE AN ENTIRE FIST UP MY ASS FOR SHIRO AND KEITH. TOGETHER. INDIVIDUALLY. AS A COUPLE. IN LOVE. I WANT THEM TO HOLD HANDS AND KISS TENDERLY AND TALK ABOUT HAVING A LIFE TOGETHER AFTER THE WAR IS OVER. AND I WANT THEM TO ADOPT A BABY GIRL AND NAME HER LIA. THEN I WANT THEM TO B

Care to share your favorite headcanon?

this one will never be canon (dw... why) but original garrison trio keith shiro and matt is my favorite hc in the world. they took away so much from us. we could’ve had it all. is this how it feels to be slighted by an ex. 

What do you think is the best part of the show?

i think it’s really accessible to a wide demographic of fans, and across a lot of ages. younger children who are fans of the show can focus on the fight scenes and cool robots and messages about hope and friendship and bravery. older fans can, among other things, focus on the relationships between characters, and then threaten to kill each other over those relationships. it’s really beautiful. circle of life.

Any hopes and wishes for future episodes / seasons?

please let my little boy (keith) come back from the war (i want to see my little boy)

Do you think you’ll stick it out until the end of the show?

yeah i’m too far gone. we’re in this for the long haul babey. i’ll be walking across the graduation stage at cornell in 2020 being like dam.... wonder if we’re gonna finally get some project kuron resolution...

Tag your friends or someone you want to get to know better:

literally everyone has been doing this i cant keep track but im gonna tag @phaltu @kcgane @bottomnoctis @curdleddoodle @exitlude @nitorai @amaanogawa @sctvrns @nayuhs @kerberosheith and @saltyshiro